#silvia reads fanfics

[take-me-to-ny]

Omg this is the CUTEST THING I’VE READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love the dynamics of the whole thing!!!!!!!!!!!!! Would love to read Cassian pinning over Nesta and Azriel/fmc advising and listening and teasing him about the relationship because I can totally imagine the whole thing, Azriel adopting Nesta in the same way Cassian kinda adopted fmc in the family *.*

Snapshots of Time

Summary: your relationship with Azriel, as shown through your relationship with Cassian.

Author’s note: this is based on this incredible request. Honestly I could do this forever I’m OBSESSED with Cassian I need to be his best friend like now.

-

The hulking Illyrian general looked down at the woman in front of him, examining her outstretched hand. Azriel stood behind her, watching Cassian with curious eyes.

No one knew how this was going to go, what to expect. Azriel never brought girls home, let alone asking Cassian to meet one of them. The moment clear in his mind, as Azriel walked into the dining room to eat breakfast with Cassian.

The shadowsinger sat down, setting his morning coffee, eggs, and bacon in front of him. Cassian looked at him, nodding in greeting as he shoveled some cantaloupe into his mouth.

His brother spoke first, “are you doing anything after lunch?”

Cassian thought about his day, he had dinner plans, but nothing for the afternoon. He shakes his head no, his mouth still full of cantaloupe.

“Good,” his brother tells him, “I want you to meet someone.” Cassian stops chewing, surprised at this. “You want me to meet someone?” Is what he tried to say, but with the cantaloupe blocking his throat, it came out more like, “boo bant me bo beat bomeone?”

Despite the confusing question, Azriel knew what his brother meant and sighed. “Yes, I’ve been… seeing someone.”

His tone conveys he doesn’t want this conversation to continue, but Cassian will not let him get away without a few answers. “You’ve been seeing someone?”

“Yes,” Azriel states, “and she wants to meet you.”

Cassian finally swallows the hunk of cantaloupe, “so it’s a her?” He asks, waggling his eyebrows. Azriel swallows his bite of eggs, disdain coating his voice. “If you can’t handle it-“

Cassian cuts him off, “Oh, I can handle it, brother. I assure you.”

He looked again at the lady in front of him, a smile adorning her face, making her look so soft, so warm.

He can see why she has Azriel wrapped around her finger - she’s been in front of Cassian for all of thirty seconds, telling him her name and offering her hand to shake, and he already finds her incredibly endearing.

But he also wants to give both of them a hard time. As nice as she may look, this is serious for his brother. His brother, who has always felt so undeserving of love, bringing someone to meet his family.

Well, to just meet Cassian. Azriel figured slow introductions was the best way to go about this, and he started with Cassian. A decision Cassian can tell Azriel is starting to regret.

“Ah,” he takes your hand, giving you a bone crushing handshake. You take it like a champ, he notes, as he calls you by the wrong name. It’s close to your own name, but not exact.

You correct him, prompting him to call you a different, incorrect name. He looks at you expectantly, the eye contact you share telling Cassian that you know exactly what he’s doing. And you don’t back down.

“That’s right, Calliope.” You respond, “nice to meet you.” You smile at him, a sweet smile that he sees through.

Wonderful.

-

Azriel had asked Cassian if it would be okay if he brought you to training. It was something you seemed interested in and, Azriel admits to Cass, if things continue he’d prefer you to have some knowledge of defending yourself.

Cassian had seen you a time or two since your first introduction, the two of you continuing to use incorrect names for each other. He agreed to let you come, as long as he could help your training.

You showed up to training the next morning, a teasing smirk making it’s way to Cassian’s face as you approach.

“Behave,” Azriel warns his brother, as he approaches you. You smile as he gets closer, standing on your toes to kiss him quickly.

Cassian’s desire to tease you both falters for a second, wanting nothing more than to make a comment about the red finding its way up Az’s neck, heating his cheeks. The general goes to say something, stopping as he watches the way you look at his brother. Your eyes show such kindness, such warmth, even from yards away.

You walk up, greeting Cassian as you come up to him. “Good morning, Cassandra.” He chuckles, throwing an incorrect name back at you. “You ready to learn?”

You beam, “yeah! Hopefully you’re a good teacher - maybe I’ll surpass you and take your job.”

You start shadow boxing around him, pretending to hit him. Cassian laughs at you, as Azriel looks at you fondly, your back turned to him.

The two of them lead you through a variety of stretches, they teach you how to throw a punch, and where to strike an opponent for the most impact.

“Can I spar with you?” You ask Cassian, both of the males eyebrows shooting up at your request. “I’d ask Azriel, but I don’t want to ruin his pretty face,” you say, cupping his face in your hands.

Cassian grumbles as you two walk towards the clearing, “I’m pretty too…”

You laugh, as he turns to face you. “Okay, sunshine, let’s spar.”

You two circle each other, and Azriel watches from the sidelines in both amusement and to ensure you don’t get hurt. Cassian throws a lazy punch at you, which you block flawlessly, the shock etching his face. You throw a piss poor punch on purpose, wanting him to lower his guard. He blocks your punch easily, and you two continue in this half-assed dance for a few minutes, until you decide to go all out.

You fake a left jab, causing Cassian to move to defend his left side, leaving the right side of his face open for your fist to collide with.

The impact creates a bone breaking sound that doesn’t come from your fingers. Azriel sucks in a breath, running towards the two of you as Cassian falls to the ground.

He looks up at you, the blood dripping down his face. “Where’d you learn that, sunshine?” He laughs, spitting blood out in the ground.

“I have three older brothers,” you smile down at him. “They taught me how to throw a punch.”

You offer a hand, and he takes it, laughing as you help him up.

-

Cassian’s wings were flapping so hard, so fast. He was exhausted, the events of the day catching up to him. Determination to get to you was keeping him moving.

He vaguely knew where you lived, Azriel mentioning stopping by to see you after going to a bakery. He lands in front of the bakery, and does the only things he knows how to: he starts knocking on doors.

Various Velaris citizens open their doors, ready to be angry at whoever is pounding on their door in the dead of night, until they see the High Lord’s General, asking if anyone with your name or your description lives there or if they know you. Eventually he reaches a door where the woman inside tells him that you live a few doors down, with the green door and flowers on your doorstep.

He approaches the door, knocking until you open the door, only allowing a small sliver to see who is there. “Cassian?” You ask, opening the door wider. He can tell he woke you up, due to your messy hair and sapphire blue nightgown.

You wake up at the realization of Cassian being at your door, immediately asking him if Azriel’s okay. Cassian shakes his head, asking if you want to come see him. You ask how dire it is, and he says you have a moment to change into actual clothes. You find some sweatpants and a shirt Azriel had left at your place, and allow his brother to scoop you into his arms as you two fly towards the House of Wind.

The flight is silent, both of your anxieties practically palpable through the air. You two eventually land, Cassian leading you directly to Azriel’s chambers.

You had been a frequent visitor to Az’s room in the other residences, but you’d only been in the House of Wind once. You’re thankful for Cassian’s lead, following close behind him.

You wind through the halls until Cassian stops in front of a door, knocking softly. He waits a moment, then enters, no response from the other side. He opens the door and Rhys is present, turning to look at the both of you as you enter the room.

You take in Azriel’s form on the bed. He’s asleep, you hope, watching his chest, watching it rise and fall slowly. You match your breathing with his, the deep breaths calming you, the only way Azriel can soothe you right now.

“How- uh- how bad is it?” You ask, unable to look away from his form on the bed. You approach slowly, taking in the injuries as you get closer. You’re a few feet away and you can see the deep bruising on his face, his chest, his arms. You shutter, his knuckles covered in blood.

Rhys grabs your shoulders softly, “he’s going to be okay, sore, but okay. He was asking for you, though.”

You nod, Azriel’s request warming your heart a bit. He always came to you after missions to help bandage his wounds. You smile a bit at the fact that whatever the hell happened to him out there didn’t stop him from wanting to continue that tradition.

Cassian is the first to move, as he moves two chairs to sit next to Azriel’s bed. He gestures for you to sit in one of them, as he takes up residence in the other one.

Rhys rubs your shoulders softly as he asks, “do you want some tea? Water? Anything?”

You clear your throat, trying to keep the tears at bay. “Some tea would be nice, thanks.”

Azriel woke up feeling incredibly groggy and like he had fallen from a balcony. He heard laughing, and he kept his eyes closed to figure out what was happening near him.

The room smelled like his room, the sheets felt like his, and he almost snapped his eyes open at your laugh.

No, not just your laugh, but the loud boisterous laugh of Cassian and the soft amused laugh of Rhys.

The three of you were talking about him.

“The morning he told me he wanted us to meet, he was shaking like a wet dog,” Rhys said, amusement lacing his tone.

“No hr wasn’t,” you say, shock in your voice. “Oh, yes,” Rhys replies, shifting in his seat. “He’s never brought anyone home before, and he’s never talked about anyone before.”

Cassian snorts, “I almost caught him with someone a century ago. I swear I heard something, but when I came in poof they were gone.”

You laugh, the sound filling Azriel’s chest with warmth. “He had told me that you two wanted to meet me!”

Rhys laughs, “he told us you wanted to meet us!”

You all laugh, as Azriel stirs slightly. He opened his eyes to find Rhys in a chair on his right, with you and Cassian taking up two chairs on his left.

“Don’t listen to anything they say,” Azriel rasps, coughing from how dry his throat was. “They’re both liars.”

Azriel closed his eyes again, but he felt your hand wrap around his, and he could see your face in his mind. Your hand squeezed his, and despite the injuries, he couldn’t help the smile on his face.

“Hi, love.”

“Hi Azzy,” Cassian responds, earning a groan from Azriel.

You want to touch his face, but you’re worried you’ll hurt him.

“Well, now that you’re awake, we’ll see ourselves out,” Rhysand told him, offering him a wink as his brothers get up and begin moving to the door.

“A woman’s love is the best medicine,” Cassian says.

“You assholes aren’t even going to see how I am? After staying all night?”

Cassian laughs, “oh, we didn’t stay here out of concern over you. We stayed to keep her company.”

-

Looking at where you and the general stood, you regretted the events leading you here. “I’m just saying he’d love this little black number.”

Cassian currently had an arm draped around a mannequin, wearing the least amount of fabric possible.

“Cassian,” you hiss, embarassment leaking out of you, “why are we here?”

“You asked for help for a gift - this is my help!” He says, gesturing broadly around the lingerie shop. You hiss at him, “this isn’t what I had in mind-“

A chipper voice cuts you off, “good morning! How are you two today?” You turn to find a pretty shopkeeper looking at you and Cassian, her eyes lingerinf on his biceps wrapped around the mannequin. You swear you see him flex a little.

Cassian looks at you with a shit-eating grin as he tells her, “great! I’m helping her find a gift for my brother.”

She looks between you two, confusion on her face. “Is it for him to wear? We have a men’s section-“

“No, no,” Cassian says,”I’ll come back another day to check out that section. We’re looking for something for her, preferably in black or blue.”

He smiles at the shop associate, and she blushes at his attention. He winks at her, as she turns around to find you some options.

“Cassian, I’d prefer it if you weren’t aware of my lingerie choices.”

He raises his hands up, “I can close my eyes if that’ll make you feel better.” He places his hands over his eyes, “just guide me around the store, please, so I don’t fondle any mannequins.”

-

“I know something you don’t know,” Cassian coos at you, swaggering into the room. You’re seated in the library, enjoying a nice book by the fire. At least, you were.

“Hi Cass,” you say, taking a sip of your wine. He plops down next to you, stretching his arm behind you on the couch. You almost recoil at his smell, clearly coming in straight from training or fighting or something.

“Ugh, Cass, can you shower before showing up? You have a smell.” You fake gag at him.

He waggles his eyebrows, “some call it a musk,” he replies, “and I know you like it when Azzie is all sweaty after training.”

You roll your eyes, moving a little away from him. “Yes, but he’s hot. It’s different.”

He gawks at you. “It’s not different!” He insists, “I’m hot!”

You sigh, accepting the turn in conversation. “Yes, but not when you smell like that.”

He waggles his eyebrows, “so you do think I’m hot?” You slap him across the chest. “Yes, you’re a very handsome boy. Now what did you know that I don’t?”

Cassian pauses, trying to remember why he came in here in the first place. Then he remembers, smiling at you. He leaned back, placing his hands together on his stomach.

“Ah, yes. I know something you don’t know.”

You huff, “yes Cassian, and I know plenty that you don’t know.”

“Yes but my knowledge is about a certain pretty shadowsinger.”

You eye him, his grin spanning his whole face. “What do you know?”

Cassian looks at his hands, twiddling his thumbs. “What’s it worth to you?”

You push him, “tell me.”

“What’s it worth?”

“Tell me, tell me, tell me.”

“Value?”

You sigh, “I’ll set you up with my friend Varia.”

He lifts an eyebrow, “promise?”

“If your information is valuable enough.”

“Oh I can guarantee it.”

“Then we have a deal. What do you know?”

Cassian looks around the room, to ensure you’re truly alone, including the presence of any nosey shadows. Once he feels confident you’re truly alone, he tells you, “I saw him in a jewelry store today.”

You pause, “okay?”

“And your birthday isn’t for six months, solstice was two months ago, your anniversary is in 8 months, so…”

He motions his hands, hoping you’ll get what he’s insinuating.

“He’s preparing?” You ask. The general rolls his eyes. He grabs both of your arms, shaking you as he tells you, “he was looking at rings!”

You gasp, “no you did not! Did you see any? What did they look like? Do you think they’d fit my fingers?”

Cassian rolled his eyes, “well he wasn’t shopping at Jewelry for Giants”

You hit him in the chest with a pillow. “No, I didn’t see any of them, but he was there for quite a while. Pretty sure the shop assistant showed him everything he had in the store.”

You squeal, launching yourself onto Cassian in a hug. “This better be real, valid intel Cassian or I swear I’ll cut off your testicles and feed them to Bryaxis.”

He eventually leaves, having had enough of your squealing and questions about rings, opting for a glass of milk before bed. As he’s in the kitchen pouring a glass he hears from behind him, “Cassian I know you saw me.”

He flinches, but just barely, causing the shadowsinger to smile just a touch. “Saw you where?”

Azriel sighed, “stop playing dumb with me Cassian, you saw me at Winston’s Jewelry.”

Cassian’s surprised at Azriel’s forwardness, his lack of dancing around subjects a skill Cassian wishes he shared. “Yes, I did. So? I assumed you were buying a birthday gift.”

His brother doesn’t buy the fib. “You know exactly what I was looking for in that store.”

“Mm, jewelry?”

Azriel closes his eyes, counting to ten, to keep himself from leaping across the kitchen and stabbing his brother. He keeps his eyes closed as he says, “I bought a ring.”

“This is so sudden, brother, I mean how could I say yes when we haven’t even spent a night together?”

Azriel rubs the bridge of his nose, annoyance still there from the moment he saw Cassian watching him. “Not for you, for her.” He pauses and Cassian doesn’t try to fill it, waiting for Azriel to continue.

Azriel sighs, letting the truth fill the room. “I’m going to ask her to marry me.”

Cassian cheers in delight, excitement coursing through him.

“How are you going to do it? A bunch of flowers everywhere? Oh, oh, put the ring on your cock and -“

Azriel balks at Cassian, the headache coming back. He goes to walk away, but stops. “Just - don’t tell her you saw me. Please?”

Cassian pales, but agrees, and watches his brother head towards his room. Once he hears the click of his door, he races across the house to the library, where you’re still seated.

“Don’t-“ he pants, “mention anything about rings.” He pants again, surprisingly winded. “I didn’t tell you anything.” He turns to walk away, but he hears you say, “okay?” before he walks out.

-

You were spreading olive oil across the grape tomatoes as you heard your door open. You didn’t hear movement as your husband walked into the kitchen, your back turned to him.

“You’re home early,” you say, stirring the gnocchi. “How was your day, sweets?”

“It was fine, darling,” you hear Cassian respond, followed by a chair dragging across your floor as he plops down, spreading his legs wide, taking up a considerable amount of space.

You turned around, expecting a different Illyrian in your kitchen, a quick retort on your tongue as you look down and see his shoes. “Cassian!” You scold, “I’ve told you to take off your muddy boots before you come in.”

You walk over to him, flicking him in the ear. He rubs it softly, muttering about something. “Sorry, dear,” he says, emphasizing the term of endearment, as he starts unlacing his shoes.

You begin walking back to continue your cooking. “I thought you were my husband,” you shout to him as he walks back through your living room, the door softly opening. “Well, I’m flattered sweetheart, I thought we could have had something special, too, but my rascal of a brother got you first.”

You roll your eyes at him, stirring your noodles, “We never would have worked out, Cass. We’re both too chipper, we need to share our happiness with the grumps of the world.”

Cassian snorted, opening your fridge to grab a beer, “no we wouldn’t have worked out because Azriel would have murdered me if I made a move.”

He opens his beer bottle with his teeth, chuckling.

You laugh, cutting up your cooked chicken to mix it back into the pasta. “Oh what could have been, Cass. The world wouldn’t have been able to handle us together.”

“I know I certainly couldn’t.”

You smile, feeling your husband ghost a kiss to your cheek. He wraps his arms around you, basking in your scent before he goes to get his own beer.

Cassian rolls his eyes, “you would have skulked for hundreds of years, brother.” Your eyebrows raise, “you think we would have been together for centuries?”

“Oh yeah,” Cassian nods, putting his beer down on the table. “If not out of love, out of spite.” He gives Azriel a little smirk, and Azriel slaps the back of his head.

“Why are you here, Cass, other than to flirt with my wife?” He asks, taking his usual seat at the table.

“Yeah, Cass, didn’t you have a date tonight?” You ask, placing the pan in the oven and setting a timer. Azriel stills at your question. His brother did have a date tonight, one that should have started two hours ago.

You both reach the same conclusion as you say, “oh, Cass,” turning around to look at him. “What happened?”

He shrugs, starting to rip the label off his bottle to occupy himself. “She just.. wasn’t right.” He sighs, a contemplative look overcoming his features. “I just want something real. Not a few nights, not a few months. Something real. Like you two.”

Cassian’s face reddens, his admission in the air. He’s about to apologize, but you wrap your arms around his head, placing your own on top of his.

“You deserve someone incredible, Cass. Someone that isn’t me.” He laughs, patting your arms. “I’m sorry she didn’t work out. But you’re free to stay for dinner tonight, if you want. I’m making pesto chicken gnocchi.”

Cassian sighs, deflating in your arms a bit, “I don’t want to impose-“

Azriel snorts, “yes you do. Go ahead, Cassian. Impose. We’re happy to let you.” Cassian smiles, a real, genuine smile. Most nights the loneliness doesn’t get to him, but this is a rare night for vulnerability, and as the three of you gather around the table, gossiping about the girl Rhys was under the mountain with and how she was now at the Moonstone Palace with Rhys, Cassian feels his friends help carry his burden.

[hana-no-seiiki]

i read about this before in a quotev book and it was such an interesting concept but the author didn’t continue it. i’ll link their profile here in the future but for now have this.

YANDERE! FAN who has listened to all of your works as a YANDERE ASMRTIST (note: you being a yandere yourself can be a detail left up to interpretation)

They have detailed notes on each one. Basically that pepe silvia meme but for all your works.

They didn’t even mean to, but it eventually led to them finding out about your works before asmr and whatnot. And eventually, they found your account for irl activities.

YANDERE! FAN who slowly spirals into madness once they realize that they not only can’t sleep without hearing your voice but they can’t even go on for a couple of seconds without surrounding themselves with anything related to you. Your face, fanfics of you, etc etc.

YANDERE! FAN who starts uploading ASMR as well, heavily inspired by your works. Their passionate delivery astounds many listeners, granting them their own set of loyal followers.

YANDERE ASMRTIST READER who discovers yan’s existence cause the latter overtook you in popularity overnight.

ASMRTIST READER who befriends YAN! FAN in order to either ride off of their clout with collabs and/or to get some dirt off of your ‘rival’ and destroy their career

ASMRTIST READER who in the heat of their bloodlust and anger gives their most powerful performance yet during their collab, skyrocketing their career

It’s a shame you were declared missing just a week afterwards.

[wetcatspellcaster]

I saw you respond that you a very much not an SJM fan 😅 fair enough but I did want to ask what books/series you did like or would recommend that are of a fantasy/romantasy vibe!

lmfao, i am destined to become known for my parasocial enmity with the wingspan lady on this hellsite.

I don't read stuff with the same vibe as SJM all that often anymore. I used to read a lot of paranormal romance but the heteronormativity of SJM clones was upsetting me, so I've turned more towards the romance genre or just straight up fanfic these days.

So these recommendations might not be the perfect overlap but-!

Books with Fey Romances that are good

Holly Black, for all your fey needs. Tithe is the OG (and if you like sad men with white hair, have I got a blorbo for you!) but The Cruel Prince is her most popular series, that most people have read. The Darkest Part of the Forest is also an amazing standalone novel with a bit more creepiness than the other two. Not very explicit sex.

Olivia Atwater's Half A Soul and Ten Thousand Stitches are regency romance novels with fey associations, the first book is about a girl under a fairy curse and the second is about a fairy himbo trying his best at being a fairy godmother. No sex, that I can remember.

Heather Fawcett's Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Fairies. I've talked about this book a lot. If you like my fanfic, you will like this book, because this book was written for Me specifically. Not very explicit sex.

The Falconer series by Elizabeth May. This is the closest in this list to what SJM writes, only this is. um. better. Much sex, but also just... 'what if we started an apocalypse together, and the guilt meant I was scared to touch you, but we've got nothing else to live for now so why shouldn't I just do it?'

Fantasy Books with Good Romance

T Kingfisher's Swordheart and Nettle & Bone - both standalone novels. Swordheart is just Howl x Sophie dynamics, if Howl was a martial class, and also. A sword. Some sexiness.

Uprooted by Naomi Novik (if we count the love interests as both the hot sexy wizard man AND the protagonist's gal pal). Some sexiness.

Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia. If you like your immortal/mortal romances, this is a pretty stellar read tbh. Some sexiness.

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan. This is such a fun book just generally but the slowburn of a 7 year high school romance sent me a little feral actually. Some sexiness.

Daevabad trilogy by S.A. Chakraborty. Now, this one is a little bit evil bc its an epic fantasy trilogy that is quite dense, and the romance is amazing but it takes a WHILE. *I* can write an evil slowburn, but there is nothing more evil than what happened in these books bc everyone is so fucking repressed. Alternatively, The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi by the same author, which cut to the chase a lot quicker, romance-wise.

Fantasy Books that are 😌😌 sexy 😌😌

The Dark Days Club by Alison Goodman. This is my favourite paranormal romance I've read in recent years, and they don't even have sex but I'm putting it here because um. they did. to me. That's what happens when you write a regency romance where if a woman takes of a man's coat they have 37 horny thoughts about it in real time. Imagine if Darcy and Elizabeth for P&P were also fighting demons at the same time as falling in love (not metaphorically. literal demons.)

Mating the Huntress by Talia Hibbert. Talia Hibbert's books in general fucking slap but I wish she'd written more paranormal romance than just this ONE story bc um. This was. um. Good.✌️

A Marvellous Light and A Restless Truth by Freya Marske. Freya Marske is also a popular fanfic author, and it shows with the way she writes sex.

That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon by Kimberly Lemming. This author is the one who went briefly viral bc she accidentally has a book cover with Astarion on it lmao. This book was the first in that series, and unfortunately it wasn't for me (dragon shifter porn, I did *not* know going in) but the sex was really, really well-written, if that's something you could be into.

[aces-and-angels]

She means it as a comfort. But all I hear is that he only loved me before I was actually me. Once I became myself… I was no longer perfect to him.

brb sobbing 😭😭😭

Father and Son

Characters: Lincoln Aquino (main focus), Matthias McQuoid, Silvia McQuoid, Abel Flint Word Count: 5394 Warnings: Emotionally abusive parenting, trauma A/N: For ILAW Day 2, favorite characters, this favorite character being Lincoln Aquino (previously McQuoid). I was planning on doing some more with this fic, but I never got around to it and figured I may as well post what I have. Fun fact, this fic was actually written to explore Lincoln and Matthias's relationship in the past, and inspired the chapter 15 flashback scene! Tagging: @ila-appreciationweek

Hearty laughter echoes throughout the polished dining hall. A chandelier glitters overhead and classy orchestral music plays from a nearby stereo. And the dinner table is occupied by good food, good drink, and four people. A father, a mother, a son, and a friend.

“I love this boy!” Matthias says, his voice booming across the table as he claps Abel on the back. 

Abel smiles sheepishly and scratches behind his ear. “It’s just a historical theory.”

“One that most people don’t even understand when studying it in graduate school,” Matthias says. “You’re an intelligent boy, Abel. Never be ashamed of that.”

“Thank you, I’ll try.”

Abel practically glows as he takes another bite of the pork adobo Silvia prepared for dinner. But across from the table, Lincoln slouches in his seat, looking anything but pleased.

Matthias and Abel don’t seem to notice, but the crease of Silvia’s brow as she looks over at her son shows that she does. She always notices him, even when no one else does.

“So,” Matthias says as he pours himself another glass of wine. “Tell me, Abel. How are your classes going? I trust that you’re making sure Lincoln isn’t getting into much trouble.”

Lincoln rolls his eyes and Silvia, noticing his reaction, shakes her head disapprovingly at her husband. “Matthias.”

“It was a joke,” he says with a chuckle. Silvia looks back at him, unamused, and Abel clears his throat awkwardly.

“Well, uh, yeah, classes are going well,” he says, glancing over at Lincoln. Lincoln just glares down at his plate. Whatever good mood that had once been present is gone, replaced by an uncomfortable tension. “By the way, Mrs. McQuoid, the food is amazing.”

Silvia smiles warmly at Abel. “Thank you, dear. I appreciate that.”

Without warning, Lincoln abruptly stands. “Yeah. Thanks for the food, mom. I’m going upstairs.”

“Oh, I’ll finish then too—“ Abel starts, but Lincoln shakes his head.

“There’s no need to rush, Abel. I’ll be in my room.”

Matthias frowns as he watches his son leave. But really, he only has himself to blame.

***

My mother claims there was a time when my father believed I was perfect. When my tiny baby feet and quiet coos were his pride and joy.

She claims he used to say, “That’s my boy. That’s my beautiful boy who I love.”

She means it as a comfort. But all I hear is that he only loved me before I was actually me. Once I became myself…

I was no longer perfect to him.

***

Ten years ago

Lincoln’s short legs struggled to keep up after his father as he followed him through the forest. At seven years old, he had already seen more and experienced more than many grown men. And tonight, he was going to see more. To do more.

He was finally going to make his father proud.

“We’re almost there, Lincoln,” Matthias said. “We’re almost there.”

Nervous anticipation fluttered in Lincoln’s gut. Today was the day he’d been looking forward to for years. It was the day he was finally going to get a power of his own, just like his father.

They reached a small clearing in the woods and Matthias stopped. A stream ran alongside the clearing and the grass was littered with wildflowers and tree branches.

Matthias turned to Lincoln with a warm smile. “We’re here. Are you ready?”

Lincoln nodded. “I’m ready. What do I do?”

“Don’t worry, son. I’ll show you.” Matthias knelt in front of Lincoln and took his hand. His fingers were long and slender compared to Lincoln’s tiny stubby ones. He pulled a pocket knife from his shirt pocket and flicked out the blade. “Now, this will hurt a little bit, Lincoln. Can you be strong for me?”

Lincoln nodded. “I can be strong.”

Matthias pressed the tip of the knife into Lincoln’s palm, just hard enough for the skin to split. Pain shot through Lincoln’s hand and he bit back a whimper.

Be strong like Dad, he told himself sternly.

Matthias pocketed his knife and patted the top of Lincoln’s hand. “Well done, son. Not a sound. I’m proud of you.”

Lincoln nodded his head proudly. “I’m strong,” he said.

“Yes you are,” Matthias agreed as he got back to his feet. “Now Lincoln, repeat after me. From blood to earth, from shadow to dust, I pledge myself to the Power and the Power pledges itself to me.”

Lincoln took a shaky breath and with his high boy’s voice, repeated after his father. 

“Good,” Matthias said. “Now drip some of your blood into the river.”

Lincoln obediently held out his hand and dropped the blood into the river rushing by the clearing. And the moment his blood touched the water, something strange happened.

The river began to glow cyan; the current became faster. Misty blue tendrils reached out of the water, reaching toward Lincoln.

Nervous sweat trickled down Lincoln’s neck and he backed away from the tendrils. “Dad? What is this?”

“It’s alright, Lincoln!” Matthias said. His voice was laced with excitement as he watched. “The ritual is accepting your offering! Stand still and don’t move.”

It was hard to obey when all he wanted to do was run. The tendrils were terrifying and made him feel sick, but Lincoln forced himself to stand still.

I need to make him proud, Lincoln thought over and over again as the strange Power-fused tendrils wrapped around his body. I need to make him proud! 

His head began to spin and he felt dizzy. Every cell in his body told him to run, but he stayed rooted to the spot. He stayed until the tendrils drew back from him and dissipated once more back into the water.

He felt different. He felt strong, but weak. He felt enlightened, but confused. And when Matthias rushed to his side, pride glowing in his eyes as he said, “Now that’s my boy,” Lincoln couldn’t stop himself from collapsing to the ground from exhaustion.

When Lincoln awoke, it was beneath a wad of blankets on his bed. He sat up too quickly and his head immediately began to spin.

“Ouch,” he mumbled, pressing a hand up against his forehead. When his dizziness settled, he pushed the blankets aside and climbed out of bed. His hand ached and when he went to scratch it, he realized it was wrapped in a white cloth. And suddenly, everything came back to him. The forest, the ritual, the strange tendrils that rose up from the stream…

“That wasn’t actually a dream,” he whispered to himself. A grin split across his face and he ran for the door. He needed to find his father, to ask him what his power was—

But the moment he threw open the door, all he heard were raised voices.

“What do you think you’re doing with him?” Silvia yelled. Lincoln couldn’t see her, but he knew that voice. That was the voice she used when she was very, very angry, and she almost never used it. “He’s seven years old, Matthias. Seven years old! He doesn’t need to be dragged into this Power-obsessed world, not yet. And he’s obviously not ready! Look what happened to him! He’s been unconscious for almost an entire day now. Let him be a child.”

“I’m not going to apologize for giving him the life that I wish I’d had,” Matthias retorted. His voice was softer and smoother, but it was tight. He wasn’t happy either. “Lincoln has a potential I never had. He could someday be greater than me. He could be greater than any witch or Power wielder out there! Don’t you see? I’m doing this for him, Silvia. You should’ve seen how strong and brave he was. He wants this more than anything.”

Silvia sighed in frustration. “You really think this is what he wants? You think that’s what it is, and not that he’s desperate for his father’s approval? Anyone who truly knows you knows how much the Power means to you, Matthias. Your passion is part of what made me love you. But you can’t force that on other people. You can’t mold Lincoln into what you wish you’d been. You need to let him decide for himself who he is.”

Lincoln peeked out around the edge of his door frame and looked down the balcony to where his parents stood in the foyer. 

Matthias shook his head and turned away from Silvia. “I love you, my dear, but I suppose there are some things that even you will never understand.”

“I understand that if you keep trying to form Lincoln into a better version of yourself that you’re going to lose him forever. And when that happens, you won’t be able to say I didn’t tell you, because I’m telling you now.”

Without another word, Silvia turned her back on Matthias and climbed up the stairs. She stopped abruptly when she saw Lincoln standing in his bedroom doorway.

“Lincoln! Oh sweetie, you’re awake!” Silvia fell to her knees in front of him and swept Lincoln up into a warm, engulfing hug. She smelled like she always did, of lavender, citrus, and home. Lincoln hugged her back, because there was absolutely nothing better than hugs from his mother.

When she finally pulled away, Lincoln shot her a goofy grin. “Did you know that I have special powers now?” he said. “Dad got them for me!”

Silvia’s smile faded. “Yes. I heard. How do you feel about that?”

“Excited! Maybe I’ll be like Superman now. Or Dad! We could fight bad guys together I bet. You think Dad will be really proud of me?”

Silvia brushed the hair out of Lincoln’s eyes. “I think that Dad will always be proud of you no matter what you do, honey. Powers or no powers, your daddy and I love you so much. You’re our perfect little boy, okay?”

“Oh. Okay!” Lincoln shrugged and then pushed past her to run downstairs. “Love you Mom I gotta talk to Dad!”

“Careful, Lincoln! You were just sick. Take it easy.”

“I will. Hey Dad!” Lincoln waved at Matthias who was still standing in the entryway. “Do I have powers now?”

Matthias shot Lincoln a crooked smile. “That’s my boy. And yes. Yes, you do. Once you’re feeling better, we’ll find out what they are, alright? But for now I need you to take it easy so you can feel better. And Lincoln? Know that I am so very proud of you.”

And those simple words made Lincoln’s heart swell.

***

The Present

Lincoln lies sprawled out on his bed as he stares at the lazily spinning fan above him. A family dinner shouldn’t have to be like this, he thinks. But every single goddamn word that man says seems like it’s specifically targeted at me, to make me feel like absolute shit.

It’s not an uncommon way for Lincoln to spend his evenings. Because Abel is over tonight, Lincoln has refrained from blasting angry metal music from his bedroom speakers, but the rest is typical: brooding in his room, thinking about how awful Matthias makes him feel, wishing he hadn’t ever gotten this stupid power in the first place.

Tap tap. Knuckles rapping against his door pull him out of his thoughts.

“Who is it?” Lincoln calls out, a bit more testily than he intended.

“Now is that any way to talk to your mother?”

“Sorry, Mom. Yeah, you can come in.”

The door creaks open and Silvia steps into the room. She looks more like Lincoln than Matthias does, with her warm brown skin and straight black hair. And she understands him more than Matthias does, too.

She crosses the room and pulls out Lincoln’s desk chair to take a seat. “So,” she starts with a cheeky smile, “your art teacher called me today.”

“What? Why?”

“She wanted to tell me how talented you are and she thinks you should submit some of your art to an Oregon state art show. She thinks you have a good chance of having your art accepted. That kind of thing looks good on college applications, you know.”

For a moment, excitement bubbles up inside of Lincoln. But almost as soon as it’s there, his excitement fizzles out.

“You know dad doesn’t give a damn about this art stuff. If it’s not about the Power it’s not important,” Lincoln says. He turns away from his mom to stare despondently at the Nirvana poster hanging above the foot of his bed.

“That’s simply not true, sweetie,” Silvia says. “Now, I know your father can get a little… one-track minded about the Power, but he and I will always support you no matter what you choose to do.”

Lincoln snorts. “You don’t actually believe that, do you?”

“Lincoln…”

“Dad barely has anything to say to me since I told him I refused to use my power anymore. And the way he talks to Abel makes it obvious he wishes I were like him. Not some screwup who can’t do anything useful with the Power and who gets Bs and Cs in school and whose greatest dream is to work at a tattoo shop.”

“Hey.” Silvia’s tone is serious and firm. “Don’t ever call yourself a screwup again, understood?” At Lincoln’s silence, Silvia repeats herself even more firmly. “Lincoln, do you understand?”

“Yeah,” Lincoln says quietly. “I understand.”

“You are not your father. You’re Lincoln McQuoid. And you’re the only person who can decide what path in life will make you happy. Maybe it’s true that Dad wishes you cared more about the things he’s passionate about, but regardless of any of that, he loves you Lincoln. And I do too.”

At Silvia’s words, Lincoln can’t help but smile. “You’re a pretty kickass mom. You know that, right?”

“Oh, I know.” Silvia reaches out and gives Lincoln’s shoulder a soft squeeze. “Where do you think you get your kickass-ness from?”

Lincoln laughs. “That’s so not a word. But to answer your question… I definitely get it from you.”

***

Ten years ago

“It’s not working,” Lincoln said miserably. “Maybe the ritual didn’t work. I don’t have any powers like Superman or Wonder Woman.”

They’d been working nonstop since the ritual and Lincoln missed an entire week of first grade, yet Lincoln’s power still hadn’t decided to reveal itself. Lincoln was starting to think he wasn’t strong enough after all, that somehow the fact that this wasn’t working was his fault.

They were standing behind the garage. Forests and trees expanded in all directions behind them and birds chirped overhead. The mansion rose high above the ground, its stony exterior seeming cold and foreboding today. The pool cleaner hummed nearby, and the home’s generators buzzed in the distance.

All of these sounds, all of these sights, were a distraction to Lincoln’s young mind. Anxiety weighed down on him. He was never going to get this to work, was he?

Beside him, Matthias ran a frustrated hand over his face. “Don’t compare yourself to those childish superheroes, Lincoln. You’ll be far greater than them.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Let’s try this one more time.” Matthias squatted in front of Lincoln so they were the same height. “We don’t know what you can do yet, but the Power obviously blessed you with something. So I need you to focus.”

“I’ve been focusing.”

“Well obviously not hard enough!” Matthias’s voice was suddenly rough and his mask of patience shattered to reveal swirling anger beneath it. Lincoln flinched back a step, but almost as soon as it was there, his father’s anger was gone. Matthias sighed and reached out, taking Lincoln’s hand. “I’m sorry, son. I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way. But I know you can do this, alright? I know you can.”

Lincoln nodded warily, but his little hands trembled ever so slightly with uneasiness.

Matthias ruffled Lincoln’s hair. “Close your eyes. Feel the warmth of the air. Listen to the sounds surrounding you. Focus inward. Try to feel the Power deep within you. I know it’s there, Lincoln. You just have to find it.”

So Lincoln did as he was told. He closed his eyes… he focused on the warm sun beating down on him… he focused on the sounds of birds chirping and tree leaves rustling and the pool cleaner whirring… and then he tried to feel whatever power was hidden somewhere inside him. He thought about how he felt hungry, because he was supposed to have eaten lunch an hour ago but Matthias had been so focused on the Power that he seemed to have forgotten about it. He thought about how his toes felt hot and stuffy inside the socks and tennis shoes he was wearing. 

He thought about how he wished he could find his power already so that he could stop doing this and go watch some cartoons. And then he thought about how guilty he was that he was thinking that instead of focusing, like his father had told him to.

Lincoln squeezed his eyes shut tighter and ground his teeth together. Focus… he told himself. Focus…

And he did focus. He focused for so long that he lost track of time. He focused until all he could think about was how loud his stomach grumbled. Finally, he felt a hand on top of his head.

“Alright, that’s enough, Lincoln,” Matthias said. His voice was thick with disappointment.

Lincoln looked up at him hopefully. “Did it work?”

Matthias shook his head with a frown, and Lincoln’s heart sank. “Don’t worry,” Matthias said. “We’ll try something else. I won’t give up on you.”

In that moment, the words were a comfort to Lincoln. He hadn’t failed his father, not completely. But within a few years, those words would come to mean something else to Lincoln.

I won’t give up on you is what his father had said. I won’t give up on me is what he’d meant.

A few hours later, Lincoln was splashing about in the pool while Silvia reclined on one of the poolside armchairs.

“Look at what I can do, Mom!” Lincoln yelled before giving a rather unimpressive attempt at an underwater backflip.

Nonetheless, Silvia smiled and clapped when Lincoln’s head popped up out of the water. “That was wonderful, sweetheart!”

Lincoln grinned from ear to ear and began to backstroke across the pool. As he swam, the door to the pool yard swung open and Matthias stepped out onto the deck. Silvia’s smile faded and she looked away from him.

“You’re rewarding him with pool time?” Matthias asked as he took the chair beside Silvia.

“Yes. He’s having a great time. Can’t you see?” Silvia gestured at Lincoln who had reached the opposite wall. His excitement dimmed when his eyes landed on Matthias.

“Hi Dad,” he said with an uncertain wave.

Matthias nodded at him in acknowledgement. “Hello, son.” He turned back to Silvia. “He still hasn’t gotten in touch with the Power. I know it’s there, Silvia.”

“You’ve kept him out of school for a week, Matthias. I know you love the Power, and I know you’re passionate about it, but there’s more to life than this! He needs to go to school. He needs to learn and to make friends. I’m not against him learning to use the Power but if that becomes more important than everything else in his life? If that weakens your relationship with him? Then yes, I’ll be opposed to it.”

Lincoln was pretending to not listen as he threw a water-soaked squishy ball up into the air over and over again, but he was. That was the thing about parents. For some reason they always thought that whenever they talked about adult things, kids wouldn’t hear it. But Lincoln always heard, and he always listened.

“This is the most important thing in my life,” Matthias said. “It should be the most important thing in all our lives, Silvia. You may not fully understand now, but someday, I promise you that you will, my love.”

“Will I?”

“Yes. You know what my dream is. For the three of us to always be together. And I promise, that’s what I’m going to make happen.” He stood and leaned down to kiss Silvia on the top of her head. “I love you and Lincoln with my entire being.”

A reluctant smile pulled at Silvia’s lips. “I know you do. And I love you too.”

“Then you’ll trust me to do what’s best for us?”

Silvia looked up at Matthias in consideration. After a long moment, she nodded. “I trust you, Matthias.”

Matthias smiled at her in relief, and then turned to Lincoln in the pool. “Lincoln?”

Lincoln immediately dropped the ball into the water and looked over at his father.

“Would you mind getting dressed and coming with me? I want to try one more thing with you to awaken the Power. If it doesn’t work, we’ll take a break from it, alright?”

“You don’t have to do this,” Silvia cut in. “But if you want to, then you should.”

Lincoln looked between his parents and then finally nodded. “Okay. I’ll go with Dad. I want to have powers anyway.”

Matthias grinned. “Perfect. Now hurry and get cleaned up.”

Soon, Lincoln was dressed in pajamas and sitting cross-legged on the dirt ground beside the stream that he’d dropped his blood into in return for power. Matthias was sitting beside him, seemingly unbothered by the way his expensive custom-made suit pants were getting dirtied and stained from the ground.

“So… now what do I do? The same thing as before?” Lincoln asked.

Matthias shook his head. “No, Lincoln. We’re going to try something else. It’s something that some… old friends of mine used to do when their power wasn’t awakening the way it was supposed to.”

“Okay.”

“It’s going to be a little uncomfortable, and it might hurt a little bit. But I promise you that you’ll be okay and this is all just so you can have the best, alright?”

Lincoln’s stomach twisted with nervousness. “It might hurt? Like when I had to cut open my hand?”

“Not exactly,” Matthias said. “It’s more in your head. Maybe you’ll feel some pressure there. Do you trust me?”

Lincoln immediately nodded. “Of course I do.”

“Good,” Matthias said with a warm smile. “Now do what I usually have you do. I’m going to provide some outside assistance.”

So Lincoln did as he was told. He did what he always tried to do—sense the Power inside him. He closed his eyes and focused on the world around him, he tried to become one with it. And as he did, a strange feeling crept into the base of his skull. At first it was nothing more than a distant pressure, but after a few moments the feeling began to spread from his head to his fingers to the very tips of his toes.

Lincoln groaned as the pressure spread, becoming more and more uncomfortable. Perhaps this was the Power? He cracked one eye open to see his father kneeling across from him, an ancient-looking book open in his lap as a light glowing light emanated from his fingers.

“What—what’s that?” Lincoln asked, his voice shrill with fear.

Matthias’s gaze jerked up from the book and his eyes narrowed. “Don’t think about me! Focus on what you’re supposed to be doing.”

“But it hurts, Dad. It hurts!”

“I told you that it would hurt,” Matthias snapped impatiently. “You told me you could handle it. Can you handle it?”

Lincoln sniffled and wiped at his watering eyes. “I… I think so.”

“Good. Because I know you can do this, and I’m not letting up until you have your power.”

Lincoln closed his eyes again, trying his best to ignore the painful pressure that was spreading through his entire body. He tried to focus on the power—whatever that even meant—so he could make his father proud. That was all he wanted… wasn’t it?

“AHHH!” Pain shot through him and he fell forward, his elbows digging into the dirt. His breath was ragged and labored. It felt like his entire body was compressing, like his arms and legs were being ripped apart.

“It’s all in your head, Lincoln,” came Matthias’s voice. “I know it hurts, but you can pull through! People have gone through this dozens of times before and it always makes them stronger.”

“I can’t…” Lincoln whimpered as tears squeezed from his eyes.

“Yes you can! I know you can.”

All Lincoln wanted was to go home, to curl up in bed, for his mother to hold him and tell him everything was alright. He wanted his father to stop doing whatever he was doing, to leave him alone. But as the fragmented thoughts started to float around his head, a new sensation awoke within him.

It was something that buzzed warm and strong in his core. The new feeling seemed to chase away the pain until Lincoln felt like he was floating. Lincoln sat up slowly. He held his hands up in front of himself and cautiously placed one hand against a rock that was resting in the dirt beside him.

The moment his hand made contact with the rock, something strange happened. It was like a million different intersecting stories were all making their way into his mind all at once. There was so much information, so much history, it was too much for his child’s mind to handle. The rock slipped from Lincoln’s hand and his hands flew to his head, gripping on either side as he screamed as if that could force the pain away.

“Lincoln? Lincoln!” Matthias tossed the book aside and knelt in front of his son. “What’s going on? Are you alright?”

“No no no no no…” Lincoln repeated over and over again. It was too much, it was far too much…

Matthias wrapped Lincoln up in his arms and held him close against his chest. “I’m sorry,” he whispered into Lincoln’s hair. “I shouldn’t have pushed you. I’m sorry.”

When Lincoln’s head was clear and he could finally speak, he pulled out of his father’s embrace. “I think it worked,” he said softly.

Matthias’s eyes widened. “Your power awoke?”

“Yeah, but…” Lincoln’s lips tugged downward and once more he felt like he was on the brink of tears. “It hurts, Dad. It hurts so much.”

“What hurts?”

“Seeing everything. It hurts.”

Matthias’s eyebrows lifted. “Seeing… everything?”

Lincoln nodded solemnly. “When I touch things, I can see where they’ve been. I can see what they’ve seen. But they see too much. I can’t do it, Dad, I can’t.”

“I understand,” Matthias said, but something dangerous sparkled in his eyes. “So you can see the histories of objects by touching them? That’s the gift the Power gave you?”

Lincoln gave an uneasy shrug. “I guess?”

“Then it would appear that you are blessed after. Yes, you are very blessed indeed.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re going to master this power, Lincoln,” Matthias said. “You’re going to learn what makes this family so special.”

Lincoln’s stomach tightened with fear and he suddenly felt sick. “But I told you. It hurt. It was too much. I don’t want to do that ever again.”

“You say that now, my boy, but once you get through the worst of it, I promise you that it’ll be worth it. A gift from the Power is a rare thing. You must be grateful for it.”

Lincoln nodded, but he wasn’t so certain. And as his father held his hand and walked him back to the car, Lincoln felt unsure. Unsure that he was grateful for this power, unsure that he wanted to strengthen it, and unsure that his father was right.

***

After that day, some things were forever changed.

“Do you trust me?” he had asked. In that moment, I truthfully answered yes. He was my father, the man I looked up to more than anyone, the person I wanted to become. Of course I trusted him.

But after that day, that trust was gone.

For good.

***

The Present

A few minutes after Silvia leaves, Abel joins Lincoln inside his room. He takes the seat at Lincoln’s desk, which is littered with pens and piles of papers covered in artsy designs.

“Hey, Linc,” Abel says.

“Hi.”

Silence blankest the room, the only sound the soft whirring of the fan overhead. After a long moment, Abel finally speaks. “So. That was an interesting dinner, I guess.”

“Sure,” Lincoln says.

“Can I ask you something?”

“You can do whatever you want, Abel.”

“Okay.” Abel leans back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling as he contemplates his next words. “I know you’ve had… issues with your dad. I mean, it’s obvious and I’ve known for a long time. But the thing is, I don’t know why.”

“Because he’s an asshole, man.”

Abel chuckles. “I mean, I’ve gotten that much. But like, don’t hate me for saying it, but every time I talk to him he seems really nice.” Lincoln’s eyes narrow and he throws Abel a glance verging on furious. Abel quickly adds, “Not that I think he’s a nice guy! I’m just saying, I obviously don’t see the same side of him that you do.”

Lincoln lets out a humorless laugh. “I’ll say.”

“Look, Linc. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. But in case you do ever feel like you need to talk to someone about anything… you know I’m here, right?”

A small smile pulls at Lincoln’s lips. “Yeah. I know. It’s just, my dad and I don’t get along. We haven’t for years. He wants me to be someone I’m not, and he can’t accept that I’m not that person. So when I see him treating you like a son…”

“Oh god…” Abel says, his brow furrowed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“I know you didn’t. I’m not mad at you.”

“What exactly did he do?”

Lincoln sighs and turns to look at the posters on his wall. “It’s complicated and weird. But all you need to know is that I hate that man, and I have good reason to.”

“Okay. I believe you. So do—”

“Abel,” Lincoln interrupts. “Can we talk about something else? I’d rather not have that bastard on my mind right now, you know?”

Abel nods. “Okay, yeah. No problem. Let’s talk about something else. Um, are you excited for the senior prank this weekend?”

A grin stretches across Lincoln’s face. “Hell yeah I am. Your idea for turning the entire school into a beach party was pretty genius.”

“I just got it online, but thanks for saying so anyway.”

“Now the real question is if you think Avery will be impressed by all of your preparations,” Lincoln says with a smirk, and Abel’s face flushes pink.

“I—I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes you do.”

“I don’t!”

“Do too.”

“Okay, maybe I do know a little bit.”

Lincoln sits up, grateful to have something else to think about, even if it’s just for a moment. “Then we’d better knock this thing out of the park.”

[mathlann]

9 People You Want to Know Better

Tagged by @undyingembers and @arendaes, thank you!

Three ships:

Casimira x Marazhai. My brain is so souped about them I started writing fanfic again after a 12 year hiatus. My drafts have a file/tag system now for subject of whatever 10pm shower thought I get about them. It's just over for me, I may never get better.

@poetikat's Tree Baby and Animal Man /Silfrun x Ulbrig. I'm so invested in their divorce drama like you wouldn't believe. Even in my own game, he's Silfrun's Problematic Ex-Husband first, man second.

Matilda/Rosario x Ambrosio, The Monk. Two horrible people who deserve each other. I don't know what to say except this book still has my head turned 'round backwards a year later and the scenes of Matilda seducing Ambrosio are 90% of the reason.

Last Song:

Miss Murder-AFI. Free nostalgia from the song guessing poll that was.

Last Movie:

Bad Boys: Ride or Die, for Father's Day. It was like, okay. A Dad Movie™.

Currently Reading:

Nothing. Currently on book burnout.

Currently Watching:

The Double, on Netflix! I love family revenge and court intrigue C-Dramas so it's right up my alley.

Currently Eating:

Pizza. Skipped on tennis tonight and its just me and my dad for the evening, which means tradition dictates we order trash pizza.

Currently Craving:

My brain juice coming back. In a write/stupid flow as is customary, so the start of my week was nothing but the former and now I must suffer a few days of the latter until my brain stops making static noises.

Favourite colour:

Blue, especially deep jewel toned blues.

Current obsession:

Rogue Trader. But also Pathfinder 2e. I have a love-hate relationship with Paizo because I dont find their game design in either edition to be very fun (for me personally) and I spend enough time on the subreddit reading design discourse to have parasocial enemies there, but at the same time it's also where I learned the art of the Character Build and Paizo's flavor/concepts are top notch even if the concept doesn't always get expressed as well in the actual mechanics. So with another Remaster book coming up I am once again drawn to Pathbuilder+Archives of Nethys to make little guys.

Last thing I googled:

Pathfinder 2e subreddit. See above.

Favourite season:

Fall! Birthday season, cooler weather, and most importantly its the end of the cicadas' tyranny over the outdoors.

Skill I’d like to learn:

Oil Pastels. I foolishly bought some for my birthday while entirely forgetting i hate oil based art products and don't have the temperament for them. But they're so pretty! I wish I did.

Best Advice:

Writing specific, but having a talk buddy works! I get really stuck in my head about a lot of things because of perfectionism/anxiety means I never really know if I'm making sense but genuinely one of my de-stress rules I adopted in college is just talk it out, and for voice conversations keep the pepe silvia sticky note board updated while I do it. Works for my academic shit and my fandom writing stuff, because if nothing else, the time it takes for me to explain whatever im thinking to someone not-me helps cross the first anxiety hurdle of "this is dumb and incoherent."

No pressure tagging:

@poetikat, @bladesmitten, @molochka-koshka, @moosifers, @hellishhurricane, @spidercatenthusiast and whoever else wants to do it!

[fistacaffs]

!! LONG RANT ABT EEVEELUTION SQUAD !!

Came back to this comic after years of forgetting abt it and I have a lot on my mind after finishing it so long rant ahead LOL

It genuinely had something good during the first part of the comic (might be the nostalgia talking) but after the unnecessary plot points like with Cc and Solarflare's virus it felt so overwhelming especially the pages during Solarflare's dream stuff it was so full of dialogue only one panel had any illustrations at some point. I feel bad for complaining about this because I know EV was probably stressed out of their mind when making the comic and I understand it was from the pressure of the fandom but I just need to say more stuff regarding it (I don't blame EV for the writing, what's done is done and it was definitely some of the fans influence which made it rused)

The story was better of as a slice of life with a bit of action instead of having so much lore and plot that didn't make sense. The first few main chapters were good for it's time (even though some parts were iffy ex. Gai being a genuine creep) but after chapter 5 it started to go downhill. The Cc plot point was so unnecessary it felt she isekaied out of a fanfic and tried to Frankenstein her way into the story. I liked the idea of her character in a way but I feel like it would have been a whole lot better for her to have her own story instead of being forced into the ES plot. She seems more of a fanfic protagonist than a side character. For the Solarflare virus thing, it was also pretty weird, I wouldn't say unnecessary but it felt so out of place. With the vacation plot happening, the ship shenanigans between Speed, Lazuli, and Silvia, and the Cc plot, it just genuinely felt so tiring to read when it came to that part. The comic panels were filled so much unnecessary lore and plot to the point you can only see text bubbles, I wish it could have been saved for another time to develop Flare's character but instead it was plopped into an already complicated plot. I loved Fluffy but I feel like they were introduced far too early into the plot.

I wish they had the time to develop more of the characters, especially Leafy, I think the only reason why she's one of the more well liked characters from the comic is because she felt like a breath of fresh air from the other characters (ex. lore-heavy-Speed and angsty-Black, etc.), I wish we got to see more of her like the time she was sad because of her father or when she took the blame off from her friends, it made her feel like a character you could relate with. (But I'm glad we got what we got because I feel like she would have been badly written otherwise)

It might seem like I'm angry but I genuinely love this comic (even though it's badly paced and written lol) it's very sentimental to me, it was a great creative outlet for me to cling on to during my younger years and I'm very thankful for that 💞

[sailorsplatoon]

Chapter 8 is here! I was pretty excited to post this one. If you've been following my blog, you'll get to see a few familiar names in this chapter that haven't shown up in the fic until now!

First (prologue)

Previous

Next

Read it on ao3!

(Fanfic under cut)

The door slowly creaked open as Four made their way inside. As usual, there were people everywhere. When Four entered, every head turned towards them. 

“I’m home,” they said, as if asking a question.

A roar of elated shouts filled the room as every member of Four’s family rushed over to hug them as once.

“My baby is home! Where were you?”

“Are you alright? We missed you so much.”

“What are these?” Aunt Shina noticed Four’s scars immediately. 

“Don’t worry, I’m okay. There just some scars—” Four’s voice was drowned out by the worried shouts that followed. “I’m okay now, really. Its a long story…”

“Hey, Four, I know you wanted to do a big reveal thing but Deep Cut is outside vandalizing your car.” Acht poked their head through the door.

“They’re what!? How do you know!?”

“They’re streaming it. People are trashing both of us in the live chat. I think they’ve convinced their fans that we have a rivalry with them.” Acht held up their phone, on the screen was Shiver and Frye destroying Four’s car and a very worried Big Man in the background.

“Okay I’m going to go deal with them, while I’m gone you guys get to know each other. Acht, this is my family. Family, this is Acht, my partner. Okay I’ll be back soon bye!” Four rushed out the door.

Acht could feel everyone’s eyes on them.

“Partner?” A woman asked, who they assumed was one of Four’s moms.

“Yes.” They shifted around awkwardly. “It’s nice to meet you all.”

“Come on in. My name’s Nancy, I’m Four’s mom. This is my wife, Alex.” A different woman said, gesturing to the first one as she introduced her. She stepped to the side to let Acht in. “Then there’s my sister Fran and her son Ash, my other sister Artemis, her wife Luna, and their kids Wanda, Ember, Raine, and Jace, Alex’s sibling Birch and their child Kai, her sister Quinn and her kids Vi, Silvia, and Rini, and Alex’s other sister Shina.” Nancy introduced everyone in the family at once, leaving Acht to memorize all their names as if studying for a quiz. She showed Acht to a sitting area with enough cushions for everyone in the family and more. As Acht sat down, they felt like they were on trial.

“So, tell us about how you and Four met.” Nancy sat across from them.

“And maybe how they got all those scars?” Alex said sharply.

“I think that maybe they should be here for this conversation.” Acht was getting nervous. How were they supposed to explain everything to Four’s family on their own? Suddenly, they felt a set of small gentle hands picking theirs up. A young child had crawled over to them and was holding their hand in front of her face.

“Why are you green?” The kid asked.

“Uhh…” Acht didn’t know how to answer. How were they supposed to make sanitization kid friendly?

“Rini, come back over here.” Her mom— Quinn was her name— called her back over and she returned.

“That’s a good question, why are you green?” Alex narrowed her eyes. Acht felt like they were being interrogated. 

“Okay, Deep Cut’s gone but the car is in bad shape. It’s going to cost a ton in repairs.” Four strode in, not bothering to knock. They caught sight of the upset faces throughout the room. “Oh shoot what did you talk about without me.”

“Nothing. We’ve been waiting for you. What exactly happened while you were gone,” Alex said, fuming. Nancy put a hand on her arm to try and calm her down.

“Okay. Kids go play outside.” Four sighed.

“But we wanna know.” A different child spoke up now. Acht was pretty sure his name was Ash.

“I’ll explain it to you all later, but right now the adults need to talk privately, okay?”

“Okay!” With that, the children got up and rushed out the back door. It led to a huge yard adorned with swing sets and stick forts. They would be busy out there for a while.

Four found a seat next to Acht and looked around at the remaining people in the room. “Do you remember when I introduced you all to Captain and Eight? And how we talked about the Deepsea Metro? And sanitization?” Realizing that Four was starting with their story, Acht tensed. Four grabbed their hand, squeezing it tight.

“Yes, why?” Another one of Four’s aunts replied, their name was Birch. 

“Well, that’s where Acht was before we met. They were sanitized. That’s why they look the way they do.”

“So they’re okay now?” Shina said slowly, cautiously.

“Oh yeah yeah yeah, absolutely. They still have some physical effects, but mentally they’re totally fine! It’s actually because of that project I was helping Marina with, the Memverse. It was made to help bring back the minds of sanitized octolings.” Four squeezed Acht’s hand harder, not ready to talk about the Memverse again. Acht squeezed back.

“So what happened to you?” Alex asked. Her words were harsh, but it was because she cared.

Four took a deep breath and began. “When I went into the Memverse for a beta test, there was a glitch in the code that caused a being to be formed called Order. Well, technically Smollusk but Order when I met it. But that’s not important. It did this thing called greyscaling to me. What that means is it took away my memories, my thoughts, and my emotions so that it could use me to fight.” Four’s words grew shaky. They felt tears burning behind their eyes. Acht let go of their hand and wrapped their arm around them. “Thank you,” they muttered. “Eight, Acht, Pearl, and Marina were able to save me. They had me climb the Spire of Order— the thing in the Memverse that allows sanitized octolings to regain their memories— and it worked for me too. I met Acht in the memverse while I was still greyscaled. As I regained my memories, I started to realize how amazing they are. They are one of the biggest reasons I’m even here right now.” Four’s tone was softer now, it’s shakiness nonexistent. Acht blushed at their kind words.

“You make it sound like you didn’t do any work to regain your memories. You fought hard. And it’s because of you that I’m even out of the metro.” Acht pulled Four closer.

“And what about the scars?” Nancy asked.

“Oh, we don’t actually know. Marina’s current theory is that because I was in the Memverse for so long, it caused my headset to overheat and burn me. But I’ll be alright, you all really don’t need to worry about me!” Four waved off their family’s concern.

“We’re going to worry about you. But right now I’m just glad you’re home safe,” Shina said.

“Should I go call the kids back in? They’re going to want to play with you, Four.” Birch stood up, walking over to the door.

“Ooh I’ve missed them so much!” Four joined them, dragging Acht close behind.

“I don’t think I like that Acht person,” Alex muttered to Nancy, out of earshot of everyone else. “I’m worried Four is just so attached to them because they were the first person they met after a traumatic experience.”

“I was thinking the same thing. We’ll make sure to talk with Four about it later,” Nancy muttered back.

Every child ran inside at once, practically tackling Four. They all had a million questions, only a small portion of which actually had to do with the topic at hand. Four introduced Acht to each child individually, giving them a refresher on their names. The two ended up being pulled in different directions. Acht was dragged into a room full of instruments by a group of older teens who, upon learning they made music, wanted their help with their band. Four was called over by Jace to see all the stuff he got for his birthday. They felt so bad about missing it, and decided to make it up to him by letting him tell them everything about how it went. They’d buy him an amazing gift later.

“And I got this cool Super Squid action figure, oh and I also got this!” He ran into a corner and unplugged something. Four couldn’t see it yet from where they sat. “Mom got it for me. It’s a VR headset, so you can play all kinds of games on it!”

Four’s hearts sank into their stomach. It was clearly a different headset than what they had used, but it just felt so similar. The memories of that digital world bubbled in their mind. They couldn’t keep the worst ones from resurfacing. “That’s really cool.” Their voice cracked. “You can tell me more about it in a minute, I have to go to the bathroom.” They stood up and ran to the restroom as fast as they could. They refused let their cousins see what they feared was about to happen to them.

****

Acht felt a light buzz in their pocket just as the kids stopped playing. 

“Did you like it?” One of them asked with enthusiasm.

“Yeah, it was amazing. I’m impressed by how good you all are already. Sorry, I think I got a text and I have to make sure it’s not something important,” they said, whipping out their phone. Their eyes widened when they saw the message. It was from Four.

“I need you.” That was all it said. Not good.

“I’ll be right back.” Acht stood up and walked out the door, trying to stay calm.

“Acht, are you alright?” Nancy asked, seeing Acht wandering around the house aimlessly.

“Where’s Four?”

“The bathroom. Why?”

“I think they’re in trouble.” Acht ran down the hall to where they prayed the bathroom would be. They didn’t understand the layout of the house at all and were just hoping they weren’t about to run straight into a closet.

“In the bathroom?” Nancy called back, confused. She ran after Acht, the other family members following close behind.

Acht rushed to the door, now certain they had found the right room. They practically rammed their body into it when they knocked. “Four, are you alright?” 

No answer.

“They’re an adult they can handle themself in the bathroom,” Alex remarked.

Acht ignored her comment. “Four if you don’t answer me I’m going to assume you’re not okay and come inside.” 

Still no answer.

Acht ripped open the door, thankful that it wasn’t locked because they certainly would have knocked it down if necessary. Four was crouched on the ground, staring at nothing, their face blank.

“Shit it happened again. Get the kids out of here, they don’t need to see Four like this,” Acht instructed, joining Four on the floor and kneeling down in front of them. Birch led the children into a different room.

“What’s happening to them?!” Nancy asked, frantic.

“They’ve lost control.” Acht gently placed their hands on Four’s shoulders, ignoring the worried shouts from Four’s family. They didn’t have time to explain. They had to help their partner. “Hey Four,” they spoke soft and calm. “I know you can hear me in there. We’re going to get through this just like we did last time, okay? Just focus on my hands, and my voice, and your breathing. Ready, we’re going to breathe together. In…” they took a deep breath, waiting for Four to take one in return. They did not. Acht kept going. “Out… again in… out… in…”

Four suddenly inhaled sharply, as if gasping for air after nearly drowning. The life returned to their face and tears began to form in their eyes. “Acht…” they squeaked. 

“Good morning, gorgeous.” Acht choked. They wrapped their arms around Four, pulling them into a hug as they began to sob. “It’s okay. I’m here for you. You’re safe,” Acht whispered as Four bawled into their shoulder. 

Four’s family watched from the doorway, unsure of wether or not they should go in. Noticing their hesitation, Four reached out their arm to them as if to say, “Please come, I need you all right now.” They each slowly made their way over, pulling both them and Acht into a hug.

Acht hadn’t noticed when Four’s relatives walked over, they were too focused on Four. But they certainly felt each of them joining in their embrace. And was was amazing was that they didn’t just hug Four. They wrapped their arms around Acht too. 

“Thank you for working so hard to protect them,” Alex whispered into Acht’s ear. “I’m sorry I judged you so harshly. Four cares about you, and it’s clear you care about them. As far as I’m concerned, you’re a part of the family now.”

Acht smiled wide. They hadn’t really had a family since being sanitized. And now, they got one of the best ones.

Four’s sobs slowly died down. While the method wasn’t great, they were still able to get their family to like Acht. This was certainly a success.

[cars3s]

Oh dude, I am reading "Mexican Gothic" by Silvia Moreno-García and I NEED a fanfic like that with SpUk

where Antonio is called to the Kirkland mansion to discover the mystery of that house that is poisoning one of his relatives. Of course located somewhere in northern Spain. Honestly, the dynamic between Noemí and Francis, Noemí an extroverted woman, with a somewhat strong but kind character and a more liberal self with Francis, someone who is more shy, reserved, grumpy and has a melancholic past. That totally reminded me of Antonio and Arthur.

I will finish the novel and see if I write myself a fanfic like that, I would love to put references to 19th Century literature like Don Juan Tenorio or the lyrical stories of Gabriel Miro, ofc Wuthering Heights and Carmilla.

Plus:

In Mexico there is a town that was previously dedicated to mining called "Real del Monte" that has influences in terms of Spanish architecture from the colonial period but also elements of English Victorian architecture from the English migration to the country for the mining industry during the 19th century. Real del Monte, It's where "Mexican Gothic" takes place.

[dutifullylazybread]

I just read deeply and immovably so and I am BLOWN AWAY by your writing! the details you put into your stories are beautiful 💕 what inspires your writing? are there any authors you look up to? sending love from europe! 💘 (ps: i can’t wait to read chapter 13! the WIP you put out got me so excited!)

Ahhh! Thank you so much! 😭I am so glad you are enjoying the story!! I'm going to put my answer under the cut, because it got a little lengthy!

For fanfiction, I find that I get inspired when I read up on the lore and world building behind a series. I have so many ideas for Baldur's Gate 3 fics from just reading articles on the Forgotten Realms wiki. I'll ask, "Wait... what would happen if ___?" And then I build stories out from there (and I jump down research rabbit holes while I go).

I also will fixate on small details and game mechanics. Deeply and Immovably So was inspired by a glitch in my game and by Cal telling my Tav that she would always have a room in the tower. I have a Stardew Valley horror fanfic that I want to write, because I can't help but wonder how a farmer on year ten would respond to no one in Pelican Town aging.

I also get very inspired by reading stories that employ different magic systems (the Abhorsen series and Naomi Novik's Uprooted are the first two stories that spring to mind). Fairy tales and myths always inspire me to think about the sorts of legends that would go into world building for my original stories. Lore-heavy video games like Mass Effect and Skyrim give me absolute life too, because it feels that much easier to create a character who can seamlessly occupy a place in such an elaborate world (and I have so much information to work with!).

I really look up to writers like Alice Hoffman (her Practical Magic series, especially Magic Lessons was so, so good). I adore Madeleine Miller (Circe is one of my favorite books). Everything R.F. Kuang has written is fantastic--each book in her Poppy War trilogy destroyed me, and I was totally okay with it. Silvia Moreno-Garcia has me in a chokehold (Mexican Gothic was SO GOOD). Ava Reid's descriptions in Juniper & Thorn really encouraged me to think about the imagery and the emotions I use in my own writing.

I also love reading poetry. Rupi Kaur and Natalie Diaz are two contemporary writers that I love reading, but Keats, Wilde, T.S. Eliot, and Christina Rossetti (to name a few) are also big favorites. I love reading poetry, because then I get to see how poets use imagery, and then it gets me thinking about how I can get creative with my own descriptions.

Thank you so much for your ask! I hope that I answered your question--I most definitely began to ramble, so thank you for bearing with me!!

[14carrotghoul]

Nine Favorite Books

Thank you to the lovely @cricketnationrise @tintagel-or-cockleshells @daisymae-12 and @happiness-of-the-pursuit for tagging me!! I had to think about it for a second because I've been in a reading slump for several years!

Piranesi - Susanna Clarke

Giovanni's Room - James Baldwin

Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafón. I was reading this during a very tumultuous time on flights to and from funerals, so now it's intertwined with the memory of my grandparents.

Mexican Gothic - Silvia Moreno-Garcia. Kicked off my Gothic phase and my passion for reading more books by Latine/Hispanic authors.

Red, White, and Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston. This book is such an outlier from my usual reads lol I don't like reading published romcoms (and am lukewarm about the romance genre in general) and this has truly been the only one that I have enjoyed and then it had the absolute audacity (hehe) to grip me by the throat and inspire me to write fanfic for the first time in years.

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

The Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater. Cheating with a series but everyone else has soooo :)

The Fifth Season - N.K. Jemisin

The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini. This is the first book I remember reading that really expanded my world view as a teenager :)

And this isn't necessarily a favorite but Educated by Tara Westover was set in the area I grew up in, so it's probably the most vivid read I have ever had! A scary thought, but my upbringing was also significantly more chill than hers!

Tagging @indomitable-love @inexplicablymine @read-and-write- @athousandrooms @fuckingyrs @heartitinthesilence @formorewishes @historicallysam @myheartalivewrites @orchidscript @sherryvalli @suseagull04 @xthelastknownsurvivorx

[moonmeg]

Hi!! I’m the person who asked about Silvia and Andrew! Aaahhh it’s so cute thank you so much I just truly love them! Haha sorry just one more question are you ok with people writing lil fics about your characters(crediting you for the creation of the characters of course) because I have so many lil hc’s bout them I just adore them so much!

Thank you again!!💛

Hell yeah!! Fanart, fanfics, hcs and all else is so very welcome!! Can't wait to read your work 🥺🤍

[astriiformes]

I want to make it clear that I mean this 100% lovingly and unironically, but the best comment anyone has left on the trans Caleb fic so far is the person saying they're excited to read it because they really enjoyed The Crucible in their literature class.

First because it has immense "If you enjoyed Encanto, have you considered reading One Hundred Years of Solitude?" energy, but in reverse -- If you enjoyed Arthur Miller's classic 1953 play that got him put in front of the House Committee on Un-American Activities, have you considered reading a fanfic interpreting an extremely minor background character in Disney's The Owl House (2020-2023) as transgender? -- which is funny and great, but also because if you prod at all beneath the surface, there is an actual interesting thesis lurking down there about modern (20th vs 21st century) portrayals of the witch trials and the respective contemporary events they are interrogating. Like hm I wonder if perhaps the 1950s work interrogating McCarthyism via Salem and the 2020s one that places its Puritan villain opposite a decidedly queer cast of main characters in a series that very intentionally associates its witches with queerness and acceptance of "weirdos" (in this, the political climate of 2022; I saw Goody Proctor using the wrong restroom, etc etc) are perhaps actually doing something similar vis-à-vis cultural commentary. Even if one of them is on the Disney channel, that doesn't necessarily keep it from saying something about the zeitgeist.

(And like, I have thought vaguely about this before, I wrote a short essay about The Owl House, the irony of TERFs crying out about "witch hunts," & Silvia Federici's extremely political scholarship on the witch trials for a midterm in a cultural studies class last year, but some other gears are amusingly turning in my head now. I love themes and media.)

[very-grownup]

Book 12, 2024

God I love Silvia Moreno-Garcia. "Gods of Jade and Shadow" is the third book of hers I've read and it did not let me down, while reinforcing that one of the things I love about Moreno-Garcia's writing is how uninterested she is in marrying herself to genre. She has themes and motifs she is interested in and revisits, but recognizes that the space she has to explore them is infinite.

Set in 1920s Mexico, teenaged Casiopea, resented and treated like a servant by most of her family, accidentally frees a Mayan death god whose bones were being kept in a chest in her grandfather's room. Inadvertently bound to the resurrected but depowered god, Casiopea seizes the unlikely opportunity for freedom and sets out to help Hun-Kamé find the pieces of him that are still missing and restore him to the throne taken from him by his twin brother.

The friend who was recommending it compared it to Neil Gaiman's "American Gods" and that is a good reference point, always being ware of how imprecision and marketing language can make that slide into "POPULAR THING BUT X" (my friend was not doing this, she is very wise and good of taste). A human in a tough spot becomes the guide/ally of a god on a road novel quest in a (comparatively) modern setting. But of course, Gaiman was not doing anything unique in placing figures from mythology into a contemporary setting, nor in his fundamental linking of human belief to mythology its shaping our gods (it's a recurring idea in the work of Terry Pratchett and probably stretches back to James George Frazer's "The Golden Bough", at least in the context of Euro-centric works).

Besides, it's understood that "American Gods" was essentially fanfic of Diana Wynne Jones' "Eight Days of Luke".

In some ways, the "American Gods" comparison undersells what "Gods of Jade and Shadow" is, because one of Moreno-Garcia's strengths is the sense of identity and drive and longing in her protagonists (Gaiman's Shadow is passive, witnessing and experiencing, but rarely doing). There's a ravenous hunger to Casiopea that I recognize from "Untamed Shore" and "Mexican Gothic", and I doubt it's coincidence that Moreno-Garcia, with her interest in colonialism in Mexico, sets all three of those novels in a time and place where the country and people are trying to shape themselves around historical European and contemporary American presences. It's a coming of age story and a story about identity, about how to adapt to change without losing what made you (and how you can share blood with someone while being fundamentally different and opposed). It's a hero's story (not in the Hero's Journey Call Reject the Call and all that), a questing story, a fairy tale.

It's really a perfect road novel buddy adventure with Casiopea and Kun-Kamé relying on each other and learning and growing together as they go from Casiopea's small town, eventually crossing the border into America. They encounter a few other mythological figures, including KAMAZOTZ THE GIANT DEATH BAT. Moreno-Garcia commits to the blood and bone and death of her chosen focus, complete with throat slicing and human sacrifices, without making a moral fuss about it, or indeed dwelling excessively on filling the reader in. There's a little glossary in the back, but Moreno-Garcia isn't interested in holding your hand and teaching you while she's trying to tell you a story. Imagine if you had to sit through an explanation of the Persephone myth every time it showed up in something fantasy adjacent.

Two things in particular caught my attention, distinguishing "Gods of Jade and Shadow" from similar books. The first is that the gods and myths present are entirely Mayan in nature, with one exception - Loray, a French demon, who came to Mexico with French colonialists and couldn't find his way back. There's otherwise no mention of other gods, other stories. Mexico is a country that has been colonized, its indigenous peoples suppressed by Europeans and their culture, but little of what they bring truly takes root in the new world.

The second is the matter of belief. In his Discworld novels, Pratchett presents gods being created and sustained by mortal beliefs. Gaiman similarly ties the vitality of gods and similar forces to their presence and relevance for humanity, in multiple works. Moreno-Garcia's gods are something deeper than their relationship with humanity, sustained by something deep in the earth of the country. Kun-Kamé is not weak because he is no longer worshipped in the Mexico of the 1920s, he's weak because he's had pieces of himself severed and scattered. He does not need Casiopea to believe to find them or to reassemble them; they're physical items and once found are part of him once more. That's not to say the gods are severed from humanity, but there's a sense of choice. Kun-Kamé's conflict with his brother is partially because of disagreement over how they should exist with and alongside the mortal realm, with Kun-Kamé seeing their time as being at an end, while Vucub-Kamé wants to flex their divine powers again and guide humanity back to the glory days of blood sacrifices. It doesn't even seem to be, necessarily, that this will materially change things for the gods. It's just something Vucub-Kamé wants. The divine conflict of the novel is ultimately a question with an answer balanced carefully between acknowledging the the truth of the past while also recognizing the futility in trying to return to it.

A lot of things are lost in the course of "Gods of Jade and Shadow" and Moreno-Garcia acknowledges those losses, but never restores things to the way they were. It makes for a beautiful, engaging novel that is never soft. The grit and pain are important.

[skelezomperman]

What are the other longest Jugdral fics besides yours then?

Glad you asked! Not counting Memoirs of the Holy War twice (that one got rebooted), there are 8 Jugdral-centered fics on AO3 that are longer than 100k words and 16 fics that are longer than 60k words (i.e., unambiguously novel length). I'm excluding fics that are crossovers with FEH or whatever. The content of these are fairly varied.

Memoirs of the Holy War is the only "straight novelization" of both generations FE4 that is among these. That fic got rebooted and it also has two spinoffs in Memoirs of the Crusaders which follows the legendary heroes at Dahna (Heim, Baldr, etc) and Memoirs of the Lost which is a collection of vignettes by that author. Crusaders Reborn is also a "straight novelization" but it focuses solely on the second generation.

Then we have a couple novels which focus primarily on a couple characters. Her Shadowy Protector has the broadest focus but it's still focused primarily on Julia x Scathach. My own A Tale of Star-Crossed Knights focuses on Finn x Erinys while A Fairy Tale come to Life (still in progress) focuses on Finn x Tailtiu. Children's Crusade focuses on Tine I think. And then there's The Life and Times of the Lance of Legend which focuses on Finn x Silvia (the complete version of this one is on FF.net, not AO3).

Then we have the AUs. Twofold Light is set in an AU where Leif is separated from Finn in Tarrah/Tahra and goes feral. Balsam and Ash is set in an AU where Sigurd survives Belhalla through divine intervention. Children of the Wind is an AU where Forseti is evil focused on Ced and Arthur. Never Be Enough is a Julia and Julius role swap. Knight Errant is Eldigan x Grahnye set in a Regency AU (i.e., early 1800s Britain). Mission Impassable is Ares x Lene set in a modern AU. Beneath a New Light is Ares x Lene focused too in an AU where all of the Gen 2 kids get to go to an academy in Belhalla.

Fire Emblem: Revival 800 doesn't neatly fit into any of the above categories. It's in progress still and focuses on a third generation.

I think that's all of the English-language Jugdral fanfics that are indisputably novel length. I haven't read all of them but I think all of them have work put into them. If there's one which I'd personally recommend first, I really liked Her Shadowy Protector. It flows very well and I think the author's novelization was believable.

[icepixie]

I was tagged by @castalianspring:

Three ships: Oh, come ON. Three? Three is nothing! Ugh, fine. Somewhat at random: Fraser/Thatcher (due South), McMurphy/Richard (China Beach), Garibaldi/Ivanova (Babylon 5). The last two are ships where I've written either 95% or 100% of the fic, so I guess that's remarkable.

First ship: Riker/Troi (TNG), with Julian/Jadzia (DS9) right behind

Last song: "What's the Internet?" from the Stranger Things S4 soundtrack

Last movie: ...I so rarely watch movies that I actually have no idea.

Currently reading: An absolute shit-ton of Good Omens fanfic, but book-wise I also just started Silvia Moreno-Garcia's newest, Silver Nitrate.

Currently watching: Rewatching Lower Decks in anticipation of the season premiere next month.

Currently consuming: Chocolate chips straight from the bag

Currently craving: Sleep that's not interrupted every few hours by the need to blow my nose. Two more months until my revision sinus surgery.

Tagging: Anyone who wants to.

[azulaloml]

hi, im faith or silvia depending on the day (i cant pick between my aliases)

my account is currently 4 things

1) a 'the glass princess' fan account (actually go read it, genuinely incredible)

2) a ramble about writing fanfic

3) gcse nonsense posts

4) random stuff

anyways, this is my random intro post. enjoy the mess <3