#silver monstera

[arctictropical]

House plant wishlist!

Latin name: Ficus elastica 'Abidjan' Swedish name: Fönsterfikus 'Abidjan'/'Burgundy'/'Black prince' English name: Rubber plant 'Abidjan'/'Burgundy'/'Black prince'

Light placement: Sun, indirect light, partial shade Moisture: Dry slightly Moisture meter: Optimum at 4, water at 3 Poisonous to pets and kids Folklore: See Rubber plant

Latin name: Monstera siltepecana Swedish name: Silvermonstera English name: Silver monstera

Light placement: Indirect light, partial shade Moisture: Dry lightly Moisture meter: Optimum at 4, water at 3 Not poisonous but irritating to pets and kids Folklore: See Monstera

Latin name: Philodendron brandtianum Swedish name: Filodendron brandtianum? English name: Philodendron brandtianum?

Light placement: Partial shade, shade Moisture: Moist Moisture meter: Optimum at 4, water at 3 Poisonous to pets and kids Folklore: See Philodendron

Latin name: Epipremnum amplissimum 'Silver stripe' Swedish name: Gullranka 'Silver stripe' English name: Pothos 'Silver stripe'

Light placement: Indirect light, partial shade Moisture: Dry lightly Moisture meter: Optimum at 4, water at 3 Not poisonous but irritating to pets and kids Folklore: See Pothos

[girrldrool]

they prosper

[cowboylikemaybelle]

ever since I discovered I could name plants after sonic characters I’ve just been goin bonkers buying them. like I just saw a lil pathos for sale and went “oh hell yeah that’s silver” and bought him. man😭😭

[tripably]

Yesterday I reorganized my house plants in a way that made me really happy

Like I'm So Proud

But also So Disappointed because it's not like literally anyone will ever notice :-D I had to physically drag my partner around our living room and dining area to quiz him about what used to be where and where is it now and what has changed pots and why these changes have been excellent etc. He did good but it's like with all compliments - it doesn't quite feel the same if you have to ask for it.

So let me give you* a litte tour because I really want to talk about this some more 🥰

Now here we have most of my Pothos collection. The pale one on the far right, 'Lemon Lime' or something, used to be next to our tv and most probably didn't get enough light there, but definitely was always in the way when doing laundry. I don't have the energy to explain it in detail but we need to hang our washed clothes to dry next to our tv and though the pothos looked really pretty there it was unpractical as all hell. It's also not at the prettiest health of its life but I mean it was only just moved here, so it's not really set yet. Anyway I love that it has darker green at the edges of some leaves but is mostly a neon colour. Really pretty 🥰

The one in the middle is not doing well. It never has. I'd like to say that I don't know why but I've been neglecting it its whole life so that's probably why :-D I think it's an Epipremnum pinnatum so not a golden pothos but it's in the same family and I think of it as one anyway. It keep growing leggy stems with no leaves, and I keep cutting them off. Once I've got back to watering it appropriately, and if it still keeps doing that, I'll have to figure out the real root cause. For now, I'll try to just give it more love.

The one on top right is really pretty on the other side but I'd like it to be pretty on all sides so it was high time to turn it around to encourage more balanced growth. I'm pretty sure it's a 'Pearls and Jade'. It's a really good girl.

The one on bottom left is, to the best of my knowledge, a 'Manjula'. It's doing surprisingly well considering it also has been neglected nearly all of it's life. Perhaps I gave it good enough care in the beginning, or perhaps it has developed Stockholm syndrome. Good for him, I guess. Yes it's s he. No, I couldn't say why.

This one is a sweetheart, a 'Marble Queen'. It used to be next to my pc and got neglected severely in a really bright spot, so it lost nearly all of its leaves near the bottom of the pot. As of yesterday, it is now the first and only pothos I have that is encouraged to grow the way all vines are supposed to - upwards along a "tree trunk". We'll see what happens. She's a beauty on a good day. Don't tell the others but it's a bit of a favourite. I hope I handled it with enough care and didn't damage it when wrapping around the pole. I want to take cuttings of it to make sure it survives but I also don't want to do too much at once, so I'll have to do my best to stay patient and hopeful.

These are a bit of an odd bunch. The emerald palm (also known as zz plant) is one of my biggest successes in the sense that it can barely fit anywhere because it just keeps on growing. It's so pretty. I love it.

The cathedral cactus was a gift from an ex-colleague of mine as a cutting, and is prized for that reason specifically. I'm not the biggest fan of where it is right now, but the emerald palm is making my life difficult and my house just isn't big enough. Anyway, I love the purplish hue on the plant <3

Then in the corner we have my experimental greenhouse/closed environment. On top of the jar we have a common orchid, the substrate of which is made of bark and some green moss from my backyard. Inside the jar we have some more moss from my backyard, and the plant in there is a silver vine. It is thriving!! The orchid "bowl" on top is a new addition though, we'll see what happens from now on. The bottom of the bowl has holes so i'm thinking that while the silver vine transpires moisture through its leaves, it will help the orchid to have just enough water in the substrate to keep growing and staying alive without the risk of overwatering. But that the bowl and the orchid still work as a kind of a lid, meaning that most of the water will stay in the system, keeping humidity high and the silver vine thriving. And then every once in a while I'll need to add more water into the system, and I can do it just by watering the orchid from on top. As said, we'll see what happens. Side note: this is the longest-surviving orchid I've ever had; usually they flower for a while and then slowly start dying on me due to a mix of overwatering and neglect. This one has been in my care for months and is still alive. A modern day miracle, really.

Now this dracaena I got as a stem cutting at school in like 2019 or something. It used to be where the 'Marble Queen' is now, but it had definitely outgrown the spot. It's an easy one to keep alive.

Behind it we have two more pothos. The first one, I think, is another 'Pearls and Jade', so severely neglected that it probably won't survive. I honestly completely forgot about it, as it was buried behind a pile of books on my pc table. Next to it we have a plain but beautiful 'Jade'. I got a cutting of it from my grandma in like 2017. It's been with me through quite a few periods of neglect and pests and general shit, surviving mostly because I've had the foresight to take cuttings in time 😅 It is my most prized house plant and more important than many of my other possessions. All my friends have received potted cuttings of it as housewarming gifts, so I should be fairly safe in terms of keeping it alive one way or another. Decentralized investment or some shit.

Now here we have five saint paulias, all with pink flowers. They are at the moment doing their best to recover from anthropogenic drought. They're used to it, and I think they flower almost all the time as a result of it. Flowering, after all, is often induced by the plant realizing its own mortality and jumping at the last chance to produce heirs. I got them from my mom a couple of years ago when she and my stepdad sold my childhood home and didn't have space for them at the new place. According to her, some of them are as old as me. I used to neglect the poor bastards already back when I lived home and was occasionally in charge of caring for them.

The money tree at the far end of the window sill is leggy and unstable and ridiculous and precious. <3

Here we have some more saint paulias, plus some placeholder pots for future saint paulias. These are also from my mom. I'm really happy with this area in our home right now, with the spices and dried chilis and dried mushrooms at the back and the blue-flowering fuzzy leaved beauties in front.

This here is my cuttings station. It would be a perfect place for so many plants if it weren't for the dining table that's way too close to it. We might have bought a table that's a smidge too big for the space 😅 so far I'm the only person who's ever knocked a pot down from that windowsill, but I'm not willing to have guests live through that experience at my house. So, only cuttings it is. This is also the place where problems are created and purposefully ignored. You'll see.

Off to the right of middle of the picture we have some more saint paulias forming roots so that they can be repotted. They'd grown so uncentered that I decided to just cut them out, remove some of the lowest leaves, and stick them in water. It's going extremely well; the first one was cut a few months back and would be ready for potting any day, I just need to defrost my potting soil first. The second one was cut yesterday. There's also one more saint paulia hiding, already in a pot (the white one) that I got as a leaf cutting from my partner's grandma. It has very pretty, multicolored leaves and cute pink flowers, and it's not doing well. I'm trying to first aid it into a bit of a better health before repotting it, and I haven't really thought much further than that.

There's also a bunch of pothos cuttings that I don't know what to do with - I should probably give them to someone as it's clear I don't have any room for new pots. But it's winter so I can't send them by post, and my local friends already have what they want from here. And, I always keep safety cuttings on hand in case my neglect kills one of them. At the moment, I only have the classic golden pothos as a cutting - the one furthest to right. I'll need to figure out a place for a pot once the cuttings have rooted. In the future.

At the other end we got some more money trees. One of them is an accidental cutting from the leggy one on the other windowsill. The other one is a cutting from Spain back when international travel with undocumented plants wasn't illegal within EU. I hope they don't start growing any faster, because I don't know where to fit them next.

Also, and it's not very visible in this picture, I've decided to give propagating an avocado yet another go. I don't know where to put it if it succeeds, other than in a bottom-watering pot with a tank. Let's not make that into a problem right now.

This here is another 'Pearls and Jade', I think. It's also very pretty, which is why I'm keeping both. This one's been here forever and I've tried to have it grow in a balanced way, but yesterday I decided to be done with that and embraced the one-sidedness. So I stuck in that beautiful, curly branch and some sticks to keep it upright, and we'll see where we go from here. I was told yesterday that we have a ps5 coming soon and that it might have to be placed on this very spot. I'm preparing notes for the negotiations.

And finally, the saddest little silver vine ever to live. I should have taken before-and-after pics yesterday before I cleaned it up, it was so incredibly ridiculous. Most of the vines were dead or dying, crumbling and saggy leaves everwhere, half of the branches dead st near the substrate. Now it's just small. This is the spot where the lemon lime pothos used to be btw; this dwarf of a vine should not become a problem during laundry time any time soon 😅 and I really love this pot, specifically here. I'm not expecting the plant to survive but of course I'm hoping <3

Ok thank you listening <3 If anyone actually did read through all of it, please let me know which plant or placement or picture or detail is your favourite <3 Mine is the half-broken wall clock in picture 6 👀 It's only half broken because it actually tells the time correctly if you just ignore the numbers and concentrate on the direction of the hands - like, clearly the picture was taken at 8:30 😁

[the-wonder-in-his-eyes]

just me, causally rearranging my plants at 2.30 am to make room for the two new plants i definitely did not need to buy today, but could not resist.

[saint-in-chains]

I also very deeply want more of the philodendrons in the princess/knight/wizard variety because my white princess philodendron actually stole my heart...

[unorthodoxsavvy]

House Plant Asks 🪴

Aloe Vera: Have you ever had any serious injuries?

Golden Pathos: Have you ever won anything?

Snake Plant: If you could have any animal for a plant, what would it be?

Moth Orchid: Butterflies or Moths?

Peace Lily: What could you use most right now?

Basil: Favorite food?

African Violet: If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?

Jade Plant: Favorite crystal/gem?

Spider Plant: How do you feel about bugs?

Rubber Plant: What’s your favorite/least favorite texture?

Dumb Cane Plant: What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done?

Monstera Deliciousa: What’s your favorite mythical creature?

Rosemary: If you didn’t go by the name(s) you go by now, what name(s) would you choose?

Umbrella Plant: What’s your favorite weather?

Money Tree: If you had $1m to spend ONLY on yourself, what would you spend it on?

Lucky Bamboo: Is there anything you consider lucky/unlucky?

English Ivy: What language(s) do you speak/sign/write?

ZZ Plant: Favorite band?

Boston Fern: Favorite City?

Areca Palms: What’s your favorite climate/biome?

Fiddle Leaf Fig: Do you play any instruments/wish you could play any instruments?

Pilea: Have you ever jumped into a pile of leaves?

Bromeliad: What’s your favorite color?

Dragon Tree: Do you collect anything?

String of Pearls: What’s your favorite jewelry?

Croton: What’s in your ideal salad?

Chinese Evergreen: Do you have a favorite folklore?

Ponytail Palm: What’s your favorite hairstyle?

Oyster Plant: What’s your favorite sea creature?

Kalanchoe: Do you believe in any supernatural forces/cryptids?

Jasmine Plant: What’s your favorite scent?

Heartland Philodendron: What’s the best way to win your heart?

Cactus: Are you an affectionate person?

Silver Leaf Philodendron: What’s a silver lining you’ve found in life?

Polka Dot Begonia: If you had to wear only one pattern for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Black Velvet Alocasia: What’s your aesthetic?

Birds Nest Anthurium: What’s your dream house like?

Ficus Audrey: What’s your favorite season?

Homalomena Selby: What’s home to you?

Sweetheart Plant: Talk about someone you love

[averageanonymous]

Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley have agreed that they won't buy each other gifts for frivolous human holidays. That certainly isn't going to stop them, though.

i.e. Brief Valentine's Day Fluff 🖤🤍

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

Aziraphale could feel it. This was the one. Settled in a corner, surrounded by arrangements that were full of pink hearts and red balloons, it alone was unadorned. It didn't need any embellishment. The plant was gorgeous. A large, well-established Monstera deliciosa, also known by the name “Thai Constellation” Monstera. They were popular, but this particular variation was quite rare. Its enormous fenestrated leaves, spackled with white and yellow variegation, were full of life, lush, and verdant. Aziraphale had only the most basic experience in caring for houseplants, but he could recognize a beautiful specimen when he saw one. And this one was nothing less than perfect. 

He eagerly made his purchase, and then, upon exiting the nursery with it on a cart (to "take to his car," naturally) he surreptitiously miracled it straight to the bookshop, returned the cart, and began the walk back home. 

His mind wandered as he walked. He thought he had some black and silver ribbon in the back of the shop. He might tie a nice bow around the Monstera’s pot. Or perhaps that would be too much. Maybe somewhat too obvious a gesture. Best to keep it simple. A nice surprise (Oh, my dear, I just happened to wander by a nursery, I spied it through the window, it was nothing, really, didn't even have to go out of my way…) to complement a lovely glass of wine at the bookshop (one of his finer vintages, the ones he kept in the cabinet up in his room) after they went out for a splendid dinner (at the Ritz, of course) and had a quiet stroll through the park (nothing like a casual moonlit stroll to settle a full stomach). 

Aziraphale smiled to himself. He felt almost giddy. There was a fluttering in his middle, what he thought humans referred to cleverly as butterflies in the stomach. He wouldn't think that after literally thousands of years that going out for an evening with Crowley could affect him in such a way. Yet here he was. 

He reached the bookshop. A quick change into his evening attire, a check on the certainly-not-a-Valentine’s-gift Monstera, and he'd be off to the Ritz to meet up with Crowley. He took the steps with a skip, opening the door with a joyful flourish. And froze.

The Monstera had made it to the bookshop just fine. It sat, lovely green shining in the late afternoon sunbeams that filtered through the windows. And standing there, staring at it wide-eyed, was Crowley. 

“Crowley!” Aziraphale cried in alarm, “You were- I thought- Well, you- Ahm,” he trailed off, wringing his hands slightly, and finished weakly, “Weren't we supposed to meet at the restaurant?” 

Crowley gaped at him. Gaped at the plant. Looked between them several times. Then crossed the room in three determined strides and pulled Aziraphale into a crushing embrace. 

“No gifts, angel,” Crowley growled into Aziraphale’s shoulder, arms squeezing him until his lungs began to protest. “That's what we agreed. No. Bloody. Gifts.” 

“Oh, this isn't a gift,” Aziraphale wheezed, “I just…happened…by…” 

Crowley released Aziraphale just enough to let him breathe properly. Aziraphale looked up at him, feeling his face warm under Crowley's bright gaze. “Do you…like it?” Aziraphale asked hesitantly. 

“She's gorgeous,” Crowley said with a shake of his head. He set a hand on Aziraphale’s cheek, and Aziraphale leaned into it, turning just enough to press a kiss to the Demon's palm.

“Incorrigible angel,” Crowley muttered softly, “you just can't help yourself, can you?” 

Aziraphale chuckled, “Old habits, I suppose.” 

Crowley rolled his eyes, pulled Aziraphale back into his arms, and pressed a kiss to his lips that promised more later. 

“Come on, then,” Crowley finally said when they drew apart, both a little flushed and out of breath, “The Ritz won't wait forever.” Then he took the angel's hand in his and dragged him out of the bookshop to the Bentley. 

He opened the door for Aziraphale and Aziraphale was about to thank him when he noticed a black box on the seat. It was a few inches deep and around six inches long. He leaned in and took it, raising an eyebrow at Crowley as he straightened. 

“No gifts, hm?” Aziraphale said coyly. He lifted the lid. The smell of chocolate wafted out.

“It barely counts,” Crowley huffed as Aziraphale lifted the small stack of artisan chocolate bars from the box. Each was wrapped in thick, beautifully designed paper with detailed descriptions of the origin of the ingredients, the flavors that could be detected in each bar, the journey those ingredients took to become the precious ounces of chocolate in his hands. Crowley would have had to search for these chocolate bars. They were practically art themselves. 

“Crowley,” Aziraphale sighed, “You're far too good to me.” 

“Oh, shut up,” Crowley huffed, a smile tugging at his lips. “Will you please get in so we can go, angel.” 

So Aziraphale did, gently placing the chocolate back in its box, and laying it in the back seat so he was free to reach across and take Crowley's hand in his, lacing their fingers together. The butterflies fluttered pleasantly in his stomach. His heart beat a joyful rhythm in his chest. Aziraphale sighed contentedly. It was going to be a wonderful night. 

-----

Thanks for reading! Happy Valentine's Day!

[konoko]

What plants do you have?

monstera adasonii, deliciosa. sansiveira normal and baby one. spider plants, tradescantias, angel wing, azalea, dieffenbachia, impatiens, philodendron silver, syngonium, dracaena fragrans, alocasia, strawberry, lettuce... and prolly more but brain is eepy

[retro-embellishments]

[acheronist]

big updates for the My Houseplants fans

i weatherstripped the inside of the new ikea greenhouse so it'll be much better at holding in moisture now, which is grand because it's still cold dry winter where i live and i have been FRETTING!!!!!!!!! ABOUT MY TROPICALS!!!!!!!! BEING DEHYDRATED AND COLD!!!!!!!

also found a spare plant light, so that'll introduce some warmth to the mini greenhouse situation + extra light on cloudy days when the sun isn't out. good stuff

also stopped by lowe's to get the weatherstripping tape, and did some minor plant shoplifting (found a mostly healthy raven zz branch on the floor / a pilea schumi red branch fell off the main plant as i picked it up) and i said 👁️👁️ i could probably propagate these. so now i have those two in addition to my teeny pothos propagations

the pilea has been spitting out new baby leaves pretty regularly which has been exciting, but after reading about the monstera preferring a chunkier soil for drainage, i wanted to doublecheck that i was using the right soil in my Other Plants. and i was not lol. so the pilea has been repotted for the first time in about a year and is now in a much better draining + dry soil....... sorry i was making u live in a swamp my dear

and its my blog post about my houseplants i wanna include archival pics so in eight months i can see how much they’ve changed

the monstera deliciosa !! my mom and i decided to name her nessie (the long neck monstera, ha ha ha). i was super impressed with the roots while repotting + here's a glamour shot now that she's all set up

onto the mini greenhouse wheeeeee 🪴

first pic is: the black cardinal philodendron (keeping eyes on that new leaf) + some golden pothos propagations second pic: the pilea after being repotted + the schumi red / raven zz propagation attempts

first pic: silver inch plant second pic: english ivy third pic: white nerve plant, which i suspect will come out of the greenhouse when it's warmer because she's the largest plant in there and is pet friendly so if peppercorn bites the leaves, it won't be disastrous for her health and well being

and then an obligatory glamour shot of the peacock calathea loml

okay 🖤 yay

[augustpoem]

monstera leaf silver ring

[kpforpresident]

What if Clarke accidentally kills one of Lexa's plants that she asked her to take care of while she was away? Clarke replaces it with a lookalike but Lexa knows something is off

Lexa, armed with a spray bottle and a glass of her favourite six dollar Trader Joes red, wanders absently through the apartment that her and Clarke have shared for the past year as she hums quietly along with the radio that plays faintly in the kitchen as Clarke bangs around making them dinner. Lexa had winced slightly as she was shooed gently from the kitchen by a slightly manic-eyed Clarke, deciding to not point out the smear of pesto that marred one perfect pink cheek.

She picks up the slender silver watering can from its home on the mantle as she gently tips the spout into the base of that same Thai Constellation Monstera that had brought them together a few years ago, smiling slightly as the semi-dry soil soaked up the clear waterfall like a thirsty sponge. Lexa had flown out to the west coast at the last minute over the weekend to meet Anya and Raven's newest little one, a bright eyed little girl with a singular tuft of midnight hair and the most beautiful rosebud mouth that Lexa had ever laid eyes upon. She was named Jo after their favorite character from their beloved Louisa May Alcott book, and she had completely and utterly twined Lexa around a perfect little finger within the first minutes of meeting.

Lexa smiles softly as she remembers how Jo had slept on her shoulder as Raven and Anya had chatted softly in the background, eyes tired but alight with the soft kind of contented love that only parenthood could bring.

Burnt orange light bathes their living room as the sun quietly sinks below the skyline, casting burnished golden shadows over everything. Lexa continues to sip from her crystalline glass and tent to the plants she knows that Clarke most likely nervously avoided with all of her might while Lexa was away.

Her fingers brush over the fern that slumps on the small stool next to her favorite reading chair, the slouchy green velvet an idea place to curl up on a rainy morning with a cup of tea and a novel.

She's halfway across the room to dump the remainder of the water onto the fiddle fig that stand sentry by the doorway when a thoughtful crease mars her forehead as Lexa slowly retraces her steps to cast another thoughtful eye across the leafy green fern.

"Love?" Lexa calls as she wanders her way back across the worn hardware floors, battered wood gleaming slightly in the dying light of the lazy Saturday.

Clarke hummed an affirmative as a golden halo of hair popped out of the kitchen door, eyes lighting up as she glided forward to press a soft kiss to Lexa's wine flushed cheek. Lexa leaned into the small act of love as she moved around the counter to perch on a barstool so as to not get into the way of the culinary hurricane that was Clarke making homemade pasta.

"Clarke?"

Clarke looks up with a quicksilver smile as she tosses the pasta into the battered pot at the back of their small stove, stirring as she deftly sprinkles a pinch of salt into the merrily burbling water.

"Lexa?" Clarke chirps back, obediently moving away from the stove to focus on Lexa. Clarke scoops her wine glass off the counter as she enters Lexa's orbit, cradling the pale liquid in one hand as she brushes errant hairs out of her field of vision with the other.

"Why is the fern in the living room different, Clarke?"

Lexa watches with faint amusement as her words sink into Clarke, sees her process as a faint flush steals across already reddened cheeks, her fingers twitch around her wine glass as she flounders slightly. Because Lexa knows Clarke and her infinite roladex of facial expressions by heart, Lexa can also tell when Clarke decides to go with honesty as a faint pout shadows her bottom lip.

"I'm sorry Lex, I tried," Clarke beseeches as she spreads the fingers on her free hand placatingly, a small poof of flour flying off of her person as she practically vibrates with the energy of someone newly condemned. "The damn thing just crisped immediately when you left, and I know you said that one in particular is picky, and I couldn't do anything to revive that silly little fringe plant, so I went to Indra and-"

Lexa, whose eyebrows had been climbing higher and higher on her forehead throughout Clarke's impassioned speech, holds up a finger to cut off her harried lover before steam can begin to spout from Clarke's ears.

"Clarke, it's fine, it's just a maidenhair fern," Lexa soothes as she reaches across the bar to grab a flailing limb, smoothing her thumb across Clarke's hand as she feels her girlfriend's entire body relax at her touch.

"I- well- ok," Clarke lamely finishes, peering up at Lexa from her lower position with guileless eyes.

Lexa presses an adoring kiss to Clarke's hand as she smirks slightly, swinging her legs off the barstool to move into the kitchen to help tug down plates as Clarke hastily stirred the noodles.

"I can't believe you thought you'd just be able to swap plants and that I wouldn't notice, I run a plant shop, for chrissake, Clarke," Lexa manages to laugh around a mouthful of wine as she playfully hip checks Clarke.

Clarke shakes her head emphatically as she stirs fresh pesto into the now-drained pasta, spots of red still high on her cheeks.

"They're both green and fluffy and I cannot tell the difference Lexa, not all of us can identify every plant and fungi in the animal kingdom with one eye closed--"

Unbeknownst to the girls, the sun crept slowly below the horizon as night settled, velvety and infinite, over the city of Polis.

[elminx]

2024 Planty Update: Year in Review

Background: Prior to March 2020, my partner and I had a few houseplants: two spider plants, an african violet, lucky bamboo, a coleus, some sort of ivy, and a couple of succulents. We started collecting Sansevieria and two "Corn Plant" Dracaena early in the pandemic. Then, during the summer of 2022, I caught the houseplant bug. HARD. (Yes, it was a Monstera) That same winter, my partner was working full-time and taking classes, so I became the primary plant carer in our household.

As of October 2024, I am caring for 50 "indoor" houseplants. I am putting "indoors" in parentheses because many of my plants live outside for the warm season (about half of my collection). This currently includes a tiny English Lavender plant that was in a pot and too small to be transplanted and survive the winter. It also includes an entire pot of lemon seedlings, which I will need to rehome sometime soon.

My "permanent collection" includes 12 Hoya, 11 Dracaena (Corn Plants, Lucky Bamboo, and Snake Plants), 3 Begonia (two cane and one rex), 3 African violets, 2 Philodendron, 2 Schlumbergera, 2 Scindapsus, 2 pothos, a Spider Plant, an Aloe vera, a Gasteria, a tiny jade plant, a lemon we are trying to bonsai, a Discidia, a cyclamen, a Monstera adensonaii, a fishbone cactus, and a Pepperomia.

For the most part, this was a great growing season, and my plants are doing very well. The spider plant and Philo Basil are being rehabbed for root rot issues, and my Hoya publicalyx is still outside because it's got aphids.

My goals for 2024 were:

Figure out how to get my Philodendron "Painted Lady" to grow well (done)

Learn to trellis Hoya in an attempt to tame them (done)

Grow my Golden Pothos up my wall (failed and rehomed)

Master trimming cane Begonias (eh - I mostly just let them grow)

Flowers on my Hoya (success, sort of, though not the expected one)

Work on coleus care (eh, its just really not an inside plant but my partner insists on keeping it)

"the great repotting" (done)

Over summer my cyclamen successfully (done)

Turn my front porch into an outside growing space (done)

I also wanted to try out different-leaved Hoyas, a Philodendron Brasil, and possibly a Rhypsalis. I ended up with the Philo (see above: that's not going well), a Hoya linearis, and two smaller-leaved Hoyas. Instead of a Rhypasalis, I got a fishbone cactus.

My favorite houseplants for the growing season are as follows (in no particular order:

Hoya carnosa 'Krimson Queen' wins for Biggest Surprise as it grew two nearly white leaves.

Scindapsus pictus 'Exotica' wins for Prettiest Leaves because those silver speckles leaves are outstanding.

Philodendron erubescens "Painted Lady" wins for Best Glow Up because it was on the struggle bus last spring and is now growing leaves out of their own cataphylls (a sign of maturity).

Dracaena trifasciata 'Laurentii' (formerly Sanserveria trifasciata) wins for Best Form because, wow, it looks like the perfect sculpture.

Hylocereus undatus 'Dragon Fruit Cactus' wins for Biggest Weirdo because it so wild.

Honorable mention goes to a two-way tie for Best Plant Pot Combo, with my NOID African Violet in its perfect pink pot and my Hoya 'Mathilde' cascading like a dream out of its mushroom pot.

My favorite genus is Hoya, followed by a tie between Scindapsus and Begonia. As a general grouping of plants, I prefer epiphytes and semi-epiphytes. I'd love to add more jungle cacti and an orchid or two to my collection. But for now, I am completely out of room, and (most) of my houseplants will keep growing!

[orangeboulevard]

The Fruit (Oneshot)

Day three gangsters!! Actual smut (near the end), still ocs. We may have lost the plot kinda? we started ranting about the elite Dynamic: spy x spy, older male x younger male Content: public sex -> hold the moan moment -> hate sex Word Count: 1004

Objective: 'Enter the event. Locate the Person Of Interest. Dispatch the Person Of Interest without drawing attention. Leave event.'

Simple enough, Agent Red thought dismissively, he didn't even have to ponder what was meant by 'dispatch'. 

Red fished out a lighter from the pocket of his rented tuxedo, a vintage style: longer coat-tails, figure framing waistcoat and trousers, the whole nines. He flicked open the top of the silver box, the flame was steady as he held it to the paper, and he watched as it swiftly burnt up. No evidence, a swift trip in and out, and no witnesses to testify, a type of job he'd done plenty of times before, he really should think about retiring soon. 

His pace and strut were casual as he approached the event, an exclusive party, the elite kind. The historical New Orleanian manor was an aged white, it centred acres of rolling planes of grass, meticulously trimmed trees framed the long driveway, and the walkway was lit by olden Victorian street lamps. It was a handsome house, this kind of handsome in New Orleans almost certainly made you wonder if it had once been a plantation, the answer every time is yes.

Enough about architecture, Red chided himself, he should be concerning himself with blending in with the staff, his agency had supplied him with a matching uniform suit; his dark eyes followed a valet entering the building through a side door, too easy. 

The interior design is even more impressive than the high pillars and French windows of the outside: an Art Decó touch, large swooping parlour palm trees and monstera plants drape over the large sofas, with the warm tones and colours of a Tuscan building, the place was lighted by a central chandelier, one with actual candles that cast a golden flickering glow, and other dim lights line the floor. The elite kind of party, indeed.

He is aware of a live performance further within, the main lady's voice is sugar-sweet. The party go-ers are either standing around game tables or draped over the furniture, cigarettes and alcohol in hand as they idly chat with each other. Beneath the glam, there is a smell of rot. It permeates the air in the way these people are blissfully unaware of what's going to happen tonight, what goes on outside their bubbles even, ignorance. Their lives are the stinking fruit of the age, past their ripeness, transformed from what they used to be and what they used to represent. When did we as a people make space for rotten fruit? 

It's almost too perfect when he spots the Person Of Interest excusing himself to go to the restroom. Red should be suspicious, he is. He feels the gaze of another on the back of his neck. Red has learnt to see through his peripherals, you do this job long enough and you will, the watcher isn't aware that he's seen him. Michelangelo. Great. That tricky bastard. 

He's eyeing him from the lower floor, over a flute of champagne, over-indulgent bastard. He places it down and starts to make his way up the grand winding staircase. Red needs to move now. His steps are silent and calculated, he has control over every cell of his body. He has control. He will complete this mission-

Just as Red went to push open the door to the bathroom, skillfully picking the lock, the thunder crack sound of a gun echoes in the manor. Shit. There's silence before the screams start. There's no salvaging this, Red thinks before absconding through a nearby window. His feet just hit the ground when another body collides into him, they tumble down a small hill into the gardens of the house. 

He finds himself on top of Michelangelo, wild roses frame the other, his youthful face is flushed and wide-eyed before a devilish grin paints his lips, and boyish dimples line his face, "Hey there, Red."

"That was you, wasn't it?"

The younger male shrugs coyly. 

"Okay. I want you to listen closely to me when I say this," Red whispers into his ear, "Pull something like that again and I will kill you." The grin on Michelangelo's face falters at that. "I will hand deliver your head to your agency. Don't fuck with me. You're just a little boy playing games you don't understand."

 A deadly glint settles into the other's eyes and that smirk returns to his face, "You'd miss me too much."

"Wanna bet?"

"What was it you said last time I saw you?" Michelangelo's thigh comes to press against Red's crotch, "The best sex you've ever had? Oh, I'm sure you'll miss me." 

Red scoffs, his features contorted in thinly restrained rage.

"You look good in this," Michelangelo purrs, his hands snaking their way up Red's waistcoat. 

It's not long before Red is fucking him, right there in the dirt and flowers, their own garden of Eden, even if just for tonight. His hips snap into Michelangelo, a bruising and furious pace, he's given up growling at the other man to keep quiet- the distant sounds of police are an ever-looming threat- and instead swallows his cries and mewls with biting kisses. Michelangelo's nails run down his back like he's trying to rip him open, he wants Red to hurt. 

His legs wrap around the older man, tears starting to form at how hard he's fucking him; in a twisted sense, Michelangelo is proud, he's the one who managed to make Red like this, a man considered the epitome of blasé. Red leans back, his hands coming to wrap around Michelangelo's throat, pulling him impossibly further onto his dick. Michelangelo's eyes squeeze shut, the tears spilling down his cheeks, his brows are knitting together, and he's clenching around Red. 

Red leans down and licks the tears up. 

[ryehouses]

ugh one step forward (the white knight philo I cut to propagate last year has responded by putting out three new leaves) two steps back (dropped and broke half of my monstera acuminata; CANNOT figure out how much water my little silver sword philo needs,)