#siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

[backmarkerr]

Nascar Kimi crumbs (2011)

[tsoarw-if]

K so bad news; I didn't finish like i thought i would. Good news; I'm up 7k words and getting real close.

[pybun]

i couldnt sleep last night so i started thinking abt the ending to tatters' comic

i already have a somewhat definitive ending for months now but i thought of an alternative, bittersweet ending that would be v fitting to a certain allegory

now this doesnt mean im gonna use this ending so im throwing it out there

some major(?) spoilers, specifically abt AJ and tat's sharing body situation and how much their relationship has grown

AJ and friends defeats the final bad guy but tatters is left without a body (tatters is dormant inside AJ during this so he had no say). in order for tatters to live or remain in this world he needs a body. the very existence of these two has been intertwined with each other for so long it would be impossible to separate them without disaster. AJ decides that she will give herself so tatters can live throughout time AJ's body slowly reshapes itself, forming under the influence of tatters' faint life force. until one day AJ suddenly becomes very tired for no reason. she goes to bed in the middle of the day, perching a letter on the bed side before facing the eternity tatters wakes up

at this point this would be a good place to end it but that wouldnt satisfy my media consuming ass so i thought of the aftermath and 2 other endings to this

spoilers again

tatters wakes up. immediately tries to look for AJ. he calls a friend. mark tells tatters about a letter that AJ mentioned months ago. tatters sees it on the bed side. it was her goodbye and the explanation of what and why she did it. tatters is distraught. hes alone. this time its permanent GOOD ENDING: tatters grieved. a very human thing that he first experienced. after some time, tatters has slowly learned to live again. cherishing AJ's final gift to him BAD ENDING: tatters doesnt want to face the world without AJ. despite what friends protested, he was willing to toy with the rules. "just like old times" he thought. "AJ is somewhere in me, i just know it". and he found her. or at least some version of her. not her soul and certainly not herself. but he got what he wanted. built from his own flesh and memories. AJ is back. everything is fine now. he'll deal with the side effects later

the true ending that i will not spoil isnt gonna be this sad tho. but there sure is gonna be an aftermath :)

[chipped-chimera]

I haven't finished BG3 yet but I am kind of scared that it's gonna be one of those pyrrhic victory endings and I'm not sure I can mentally deal with that at the moment 😐

[luckycolor]

cosplaying evil gob would fix me

[theflyingfeeling]

one might think Aleksi's not streaming because he's busy. I know better 😤

[landofsamurai]

@jiraipink replied to your post “( you people disappoint me jfc )”:

Smfh WHY did I see this coming brooooooooo

( he was picked over kamui in the cock poll i shouldn't be surprised. )

[dynmghts]

there are hardly any times where katsuki bakugou feels cornered. when he's in a fight, leaving himself vulnerable to such an event often spells unprecedented danger, and guaranteed at least a few wounds in the process / the paparazzi outside of work have never been able to pin him down, either. nobody has been able to claim they had katsuki in a corner.

after all, when someone is cornered, that is when they are most vulnerable to an attack of any kind ; it would mean a forced confrontation. it was arguably the worst position any pro hero could find themselves in.

but izuku speaks to him in a disarming, calm tone - there is no emotion to be deciphered in gaze or expression, none to unearth in vocal inflections. izuku speaks, asks, those green eyes keeping contact with red, and katsuki can feel every fibre of his being tense. his hair feels as though it stands on end.

even though it was katsuki who had provoked him, even though it was him who had thrown the punch and pinned him to the wall, he does not feel as though he has the upper hand anymore / his anger boils under skin, but there is something else that makes a home in the pit of his stomach, churning and grasping violently inside him. his hands that once held the proverbial knife to throat feel empty now, as the cold feeling of steel now presses against his neck instead, digging into his adam's apple, dangerously close to his carotid artery.

this is not what actually happens, of course. only a rough hand wrapping around his wrist despite the dangers of explosions, fingers pressing against pulse.

it's the horror of knowing that in a few simple sentences, katsuki was cornered.

whatever venomous words he had prepared on the tip of his tongue dissolve with how quickly izuku undermines his defence / he challenges katsuki's hate in two ways. he calls into question if katsuki truly hated this, hated him - but in doing so the wrong way, he would arm deku with the means to prove that all of his actions leading to now was discrimination, that the reason for his hate was because deku was quirkless. it was all down to how he worded it, and katsuki played right into his hand by giving him that chance.

does deku feel powerful, having the pro hero cornered as he does ? did he want to seize the upper hand to humiliate katsuki - to make it so pro hero dynamight's career was now in his hands ?

katsuki seethes, but he refuses to give an answer straight away : his mind is already seeking ways out of this. he's looking for the best path ... [ don't let him win. find a weakness. make an opening. ] ... even while he keeps the green-haired man against the wall, his hand still rife with sparks and pops, even as his brows furrow and his snarl deepens the longer he can't find the right way to answer the damn questions.

but katsuki bakugou does not admit defeat. ❛ it could've been anyone else, and i wouldn't have given a fuck. ❜

free hand finally moves to seize izuku's wrist, the hand that wraps around his own, and he works to pry it away from his skin. his glare becomes resolved once more, now that he finds the words he wants to use against him. ❛ quirkless or not, i woulda fucking dealt with it. it would've just been a stupid kiss. ❜ [ this was not about deku's quirklessness, after all. it was all because he had something katsuki didn't. ] he tightens his grip in both hands. ❛ get it ? it was disgusting because it was you. ❜

in all honesty, there is no festering wound to be poked at.

izuku has never held a grudge against kacchan for whatever kacchan may have done, or whatever the blonde may have said — and izuku is aware of what exactly has been said to him: from the staunch rejection his childhood friend had spewed at his face, to the premature insults from someone who clearly hadn't thought twice on the ramifications of those hurtful words. they were kids, izuku would argue even now. and it was a long time ago. had kacchan apologise now, izuku would have forgiven him easily.

though then again, things were never quite so simple for them, are they ? in truth, izuku has never quite figured out why kacchan had one day become so incessantly mean. they were the best of friends when they were toddlers, or so he was told. wherever kacchan went, izuku had wanted to follow. whatever izuku discover, kacchan wanted to know. of course, it's easy to chalk it up to his quirkless state as being the main point of tension, but even blaming their eventual estrangement to that seems so... cheap.

what kacchan displays towards izuku had never felt like simple discrimination; it felt like izuku had torn something sacred to his childhood friend that he hadn't known, and kacchan had never quite forgave him for that.

sometimes izuku wishes he could just ask, so they could finally talk this over, finally have this long-standing tension between them breaks, or come to some sort of conclusion. but to ask would be to— to have done with, isn't it ? to ask would mean izuky would finally tie away this unresolved conflict between them, and shelve it somewhere so he could only remember kacchan five, ten years down the road with a nostalgic lens. not that he wasn't prepared to have done so when they parted after middle school, but this ...

this is different.

yes, it sucks and it's exhaustive and kacchan lights up every trigger for anger izuku didn't know he'd possess, but when kacchan had offered him his contact number, it'd been done because kacchan chose to keep this contact with izuku. and when izuku had reached the blonde right back, it's because he too, in a way, chose to bridge the gap between them. they were no longer simply following the motion of where life takes them. they chose this. kacchan wants to see him by choice. the thought is exhilarating: here was the boy who never wanted him, showing an ink-sized drop of interest, and it was enough.

even now, the punch a concentration of pain blooming egregiously across his cheek, izuku catches kacchan's blazing red eyes, fully burning into him, it's enough.

izuku touches the area of his upper lip tentatively, his mind reeling from the force of both the punch and the way the back of his head hits the wall that it takes him a while to register the blood running down his nose. if there is any pain, izuku doesn't necessarily show it. not from some sense of pride though, more so because the shock of it all is still running ragged down his body. kacchan looks pissed, and izuku doesn't know why, because he knows he ought to be on his knees begging his childhood friend for forgiveness, but instead he feels the agitation accumulated all evening bubbling itself up his chest. he doesn't feel like pleading. he feels like fighting back.

and it's as izuku said. in truth, there is no festering wound. izuku has long been in peace with his limitation and lack of this biological power. he has a career he's proud of, and a day-to-day life that's fulfilling. that doesn't mean the same could be applied to kacchan. clearly if any of them had carried any injury from their easier days in kindergarten, elementary and middle school, it is on bakugou katsuki's skin and not izuku. and so, with a straight face, the green haired paramedic manages, voice oddly calm: ❛ is it that disgusting kissing someone quirkless, kacchan ? ❜

his roughened hands place itself on bakugou katsuki's wrist then. this close, the sparks land on izuku's skin. it burns, but izuku doesn't falter. his thumb presses into kacchan's pulse instead; the movement is gentle, intentional. ❛ does it feel especially repulsive that a defective, an empty-blood... ❜ a common derogatory slur for the quirkless population, ❛ … is holding you like this ? ❜

[evelynismahnameboi]

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

This was coming eventually… I’m sorry for my sins

Based off of this:

[thepollyjustice]

oooohowowowooooooo casts homosexual thoughts about your childhood best friend on you ooowoowooohoowoowooaaoooooo

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

[bluecatwriter]

Last week's driving lesson: Nothing fancy but I practiced a lot of turning/parking techniques, kept track of when I started feeling overwhelmed, managed to get through the whole thing without crying.

Today's driving lesson: Made it through about 20 minutes of literally just circling a parking lot before I broke down crying so hard I gave myself a nosebleed. Called it a day and went home.

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

[do-these-eyes-look-human]

Long, dramatic siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. Everyone's busy or gone today for some reason. And for once, he actually has nothing to do. Not even paperwork.

Siiiiiiiiiiigh.

[r4bbitdragon]

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. sure. fine. rip off the bandaid.

he has the divine right of kings he shouldn’t even need or whatever. woo. bleh

[luxflora]

Personal opinion of TFO under the cut. Spoilers ho.

I would give this movie like... a B.

Points in favor:

Visually fantastic

Balanced score

OP and Megatron as buddies

Hell yeah FUCK Sentinel

False Prime Sentinel

Sentinel's personality

Sentinel's designers, writers, and voice actor all did a FANTASTIC job.

Like honestly, OP, Megatron, Bee, and Alpha Trion were all pretty meh (I'm about to praise how OP was handled, but honestly he gets like a C or C+ from me), but Sentinel and Elita I felt like were both done very well overall. A for both - I don't feel qualified to give Elita an A+, and for Sentinel to get an A+, they would have had to cancel the shadowy overlords plot point.

Well of Allsparks

The Orion Pax->Optimus Prime story and ascension

The editing in general, and in particular, the editing of the simultaneous ascensions

The flashback during the Decepticon exodus from Iacon

Optimus Prime in general was handled well. Idealistic to a fault, with the divine right of kings? Perfect setup for a hero I love to hate.

Any time D-16/Megatron was genuinely angry/wrathful. I love a righteous fury.

Specific scenes where I thought Megatron was handled well: His reaction to learning the truth with Alpha Trion, the High Guard intro scene, and the Megatron vs Sentinel fight. ...And I'll make a special allowance for the final Optimus vs Megatron battle, even though I'm of two minds about it.

Points againt:

Oh also: AIRACHNID MENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AIRACHNID HELLA SCREENTIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh also, sadomaso Starscream??? I'm here for that, it didn't feel completely in character but I'm prepared to accept that shift.

Shadowy Alien Overlords: this felt very sus. I understand that the Quintessons are a thing, but they don't gotta be a Secret Shadowy Alien Overlords thing.

The D-16->Megatron story

Probably a solid 85-90% of the way D-16/Megatron was handled honestly:

So, the Orion Pax/D-16 relationship. I like that they were presented as buddies, but they were VERY much presented as like... coworker buddies. I never felt like D-16 genuinely liked or trusted Orion. They were work friends. So the split just... didn't feel weighty. It felt like D-16 mostly barely tolerated Orion, and like it was VERY easy for him to ditch Orion.

However, at the same time, I briefly thought during the reveal segment on the surface that there had been some corruption in the cog that Trion had given to D-16, because it felt like such a severe change in him.

Also like... ALL OF THE D-16 STUFF BEFORE THE REVEAL. Like, yes, idealistic pre-anger Megatron is absolutely a thing and I'm here for it... but wanting to keep his head down???????????????? Wanting to just keep going and like... working his way up the ranks, or whatever the fuck????????????? We are NOT thinking of the same idealistic young Megatron. Where's my poet??? My philosopher??? My revolutionary??? My visionary??? THEY MADE ORION THE VISIONARY. THEY TOOK THIS FROM ME

This movie sucking the dick of the Megatron Rule(1), the ~Greater Good(??????????????)~, and the divine right of kings (tbf: this is inherent to most/all Transformers continuities, and strongly correlates with the Megatron Rule(1).)

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh* Okay to be fair, it IS a kids' movie, and my standard is like... IDW1, and within IDW1, like three specific runs. And also fanfics. And no mainstream movie will ever live up to that standard, because of the Megatron Rule(1). My kingdom for the secret good Transformers continuity that lives in my head.

Could have been bc I was whispering with my niece during the High Guard intro, but I was like... really confused about that scene. ???

Related to the High Guard scene - I REALLY wish there'd been a scene where Orion had been showing people in Iacon the message from Alpha Trion and trying to spread the truth about Sentinel and failing. That would've probably broken the Megatron Rule(1) though I suppose.

Airachnid (or Sentinel) should have ripped out Bee's voicebox.

I have no real opinion on the rest of it, basically. If they make a sequel I'll probably go. In fact I actually think it could be done excellently as a trilogy - for pacing reasons, I think they'd need more time to develop and hit all the plot points I'd like to see them follow up on.

(1) the Megatron Rule: High-value/Mainstream Transformers stories may never acknowledge that Megatron Has A Point Actually. This would be dangerously communist and the United States Government and also the Capitalist Structure Which Owns the Transformers IP can't have that.

[notriipentry]

siiiiiiiiiigh. siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

[fridayyy-13th]

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

(shaking myself by the shoulders) read your goddamn textbook you have a test to take tonight