#sigmalicous!!!!!!!!!

[izzywizzydizzlestick]

Rebuilding

M!Kylar x Gn!pc **NOT PROOFREAD**

you can't take it anymore, Kylar needs a cleaner house.

As soon as you stepped into that building, you knew you just HAD to do something. How, the HECK did Kylar manage to live in this shit hole? Why the FUCK are there rats in the kitchen?

Yeah, You're definitely gonna do something about this.

Without another word, you grab the age-old broom and duster out of Kylar's storage closet and got to work.

PART ONE : getting rid of the rodents

You never liked bugs, so creepy crawly and unnatural, able to get on your nerves whenever you thought of them, but cleaning Kylar's house outdid that fear almost instantly.

After a sharp breath and many prayers a spider doesn't land on your face, You start cleaning out the bugs and rats that dwell in the darker corners of Kylar's house. Left turn, rat. Right turn, beetle, look up, a colony of spiders, down, termite-infested wood. God, no wonder this place gave you the creeps... But, then again, it's for Kylar, so You just have to bear with it till you're done.

PART TWO : dusting the house down

phew... you're finally done with the bugs. The whole place looks much better after that. Now, just what do you do with those dust covered walls?

Maybe cleaning out the hawks tower really was just a training course, you can't believe how dust-caked this house was. Putting on the best mask you could find, You dust and dust till the walls finally look presentable.

PART THREE : hosing the furniture

One of the most enjoyable parts of housekeeping is sinking into the furniture you cleaned while looking at the work you've done, But how were you gonna do that when all the couches and beds were hard as rock?

Borrowing a large hose from Alex, You set the furniture outside in the garden and washed till the sun went down, then you fluffed the cushions till they felt like oversized marshmallows. perfect you thought, till you remembered one thing. How were you gonna get these back inside before nightfall? (answer, Kylar's parents)

PART FOUR : Bob the builder moment

The carpets were ripped, the curtains burned, the rugs with loose threads threatening to trip you at any second, and the floorboards that probably couldn't hold a human jumping on it. Time to put your Bob the builder ™ skills to use.

You're sitting on the floor, repairing the rugs and repairing the curtains, you honestly feel like a grandma doing this, but it's still fun to see the cat designs you sewed on to the curtains.

PART FIVE : showing Kylar

a/n :Honestly, I really just wanted to write this part by making the PC jump out at Kylar while screaming yabidi yabidi yaaaa but it was vetoed by my friends :<

Ohhhhhhh my gosh, you're finally done. Also, shouldn't kylar be coming home from the arcade by now? mann you were excited to show him

This was how the following events played out :

Kylar: oh em gee PC thank you so muchhh I love you mwah mwah

Pc: *basks in glory*

Then they fuck.

(Yabidi yabidi ya part will forever reign superior in my mind)

[chlobear-uwu]

Slightly incomprehensible, but this is basically my own little vlr au where they all live normal lives, but through morphogenetic chicanery, they all end up meeting and becoming friends, more under the cut

The crux of the au is that sigma and alice are both very attractive individuals, and I think they would enter a slightly superficial relationship that would blossom into something real as they got to know each other. This is mostly substantiated by the Alice end in vlr, wherein Alice opens up to sigma bc of his surprising amount of kindness and empathy. Some notes on other characters:

Sigma and Phi are roommates, since Phi would have been old enough to move out on her own at the start of vlr

Clover and Phi are dating, and Clover is besties with Alice and friends with Sigma (she’s the one who introduces them)

Akane and Sigma are coworkers

I kind of wanted to include Diana, bc it felt weird to just leave her unacknowledged, so she’s Sigma and Phi’s neighbor who gets involved in antics with them, essentially the d team dynamic minus all the sexual tension between siggy and Diana lol

I’ve also decided that quark is here too bc uhh idgaf and akane and junpei are his adoptive parents at the ripe age of 22. He’s going to be a baby or a very young toddler, not sure yet

Dio is Alice’s bitchy coworker who gossips with her and thinks sigma is really ugly, constantly telling her she can do better (he’s right but shhhhh)

Kyle and Luna are wayyy too awkward to fit into this au, so I’ve decided that they don’t get to exist 💔 love em but sorry

Ig this is basically a version of the story where the events of ztd don’t happen (which contradicts phis existence but wtvr)

This whole au exists to justify Alice x sigma to myself, bc I want them to bang but I need a setting to base them in

[red-viewe]

Sigmalicous person you are there

Ugrh ....*makes sigma sound* THANKS🛀🛀🧘‍♂️🧘‍♂️🧘‍♂️

also sigmalicous is such a creative word wtf im gonna use that STEAL tyyyy🦅🦅🦅❗❗

[eclairelic]

ever love a character to the why the fuck am I saying this on my EDITBLR ACCOUNT OH MY GOD

hi guys stay sigmalicous or something

Sent with love by sigma quarters or something