#sighh. im exhausted besties. so exhausted. i hate this

[piddle-paws]

Feeling so frustrated today. Made a post on reddit asking about my relationship issues, and it went just awfully. I was in a ENM relationship with my current partner and our ex but we've since broke up. I explained in my post that we were indulging in something similar to a QPR, our ex changed their mind about they wanted very suddenly (7 months in) and did not talk to us about it, just started pushing for things to become serious and feeling neglected and unequal when we weren't doing that for them (because we didn't know they wanted it), and so we ended things because they weren't working and we didn't want the same things.

I asked Reddit if I was in the wrong, and most of the comments said I was. They said that we weren't treating them as a established part of my partner and I's relationship. And that I didn't put in the work to make the relationship a healthy triad relationship. Said that it was wrong that I talked about our issues as "us" and "them". Someone said that regardless of if I say we are dating or not that since I am saying "relationship" and I mentioned things like blowing each other kisses and sleeping in call with them then it was an established relationship and i was lying or something.

I said "relationship" because I thought it was easier than saying "situationship where we are affectionate with each other but have agreed upon no romance, sex, or commitment." I've slept in call and blown kisses to friends, thats not inherently romantic.

I just felt like nobody was hearing me when I kept saying that there was never meant to be any love or romance or sex involved because it was meant to be similar to a QPR. Nobody was hearing me when I was explaining that our ex said their ideal relationship was "my two friends who are in a relationship and let me be involved sometimes" and not a triad. They wanted to be on the sidelines. The 3 of us were not in an established relationship and we were not meant to be a unit. It just feels like nobody was understanding that they were IDing as aroace when we first started seeing them and that this was never expected to change. My partner and I were in an established relationship and were a unit so I used "we" to express that. They wanted no part of that.

I'm tired. Maybe posting in a space that is not conscious and understanding of aroace people and experiences was not the best idea. I posted in the ENM subreddit and I just felt like nobody was actually listening me and was just talking about it as if it was a normal allo triad relationship.

They were also saying shit about how it being online made it bad or something. Yeah, okay boomer. My partner and I are long distance, the fuck am I supposed to do about that.

It just felt like I was arguing with a wall. I felt like it was going like this:

(I'm upset so I made memes)