#sigh. sigh
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no im fine. just cant stop thinking about a fourth line grinder who only played on my team for about five minutes. who no analyst ever cared about. who nobody will remember even playing for us
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experienced an autism loss today
#my friends made fun of me because i said i liked cats :(#we have a musical every year at our school and i said if they did cats next year i would want to join#and they laughed at me :(#even my friend who does the musical every single year laughed#sigh. sigh#i know it's pretty silly but. idk#i rarely share things about myself or my interests with my friends because they always make fun of me#so idk. i've learnt my lesson by trying to share with them!#i know i shouldn't really care what they think but. i'm sensitive 🤷♀️#sorry for being negative i'm always about the positive vibes here but i just wanted to get this out because it's been bothering me
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Guardposting Vanderposting 🖤
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It’s so refreshing to see someone also sharing the same sentiment that Veilguard really just felt like smth for solavellan’s or even ppl who are huge fans of solas and not for other ppl (especially ppl who romanced Dorian)
Yeah... they gassed up the solas arc so much for this game and then it was. so nothing if again you didn't make the choices the devs obviously wanted you to make. And the game isn't even for huge fans of solas really, i'm personally a big solas fan, I think he was an incredible character and i loved his friendship with my inquisitor but because i wanted to explore choices that it seems trick weekes was just not interested in writing i got fucked over. Like i'm still reeling from the fact that if ROOK. NOT EVEN THE INQUISITOR. decides to not redeem solas the inquistor/solas relationship (whether antagonistic or friendly) just never gets resolved. I wanted a 20 min argument where my inquisitor after 7 long years of turning around that last interaction he had with solas in his mind got to ask him VERY important questions like "did our friendship ever really matter?", "did you ever really stop seeing me as subhuman?" and what i DESPERATELY needed "if the qunari hadn't forced you out of hiding, would you have come to save me from the anchor?" but they stuck varric into the role that should've been the inquisitor's so i got nothing 😐
+ What they did to us dorianmancers was so insulting my blood boils every time i think about it again. The inquisitor is in minrathous. Dorian is in minrathous. We never get a proper reunion with those two and they also have the audacity to dangle that shit in front of our faces with the "yes i know u will be in minrathous" line in dorian's letter. The inquisitor doesn't even MENTION dorian to rook when he's in the city, the city can be overrun with venatori, half of it can be destroyed and we don't even get a voiced concern over the man he loves???????? sick and fucking twisted the way this game actually had me missing dav*d gaid*r's writing but it did.
#datv spoilers#anyway sorry for the tangent <3#its just. when i saw the only three worldstate choice thing i was so concerned over what that would mean for the dao/da2 choices#and the dai decisions not mentioned in the three worldstate options#but surprisingly (because they just did away with the entire da lore tbh) those were almost. fine#def not offensive#but never in a million years would i have ever thought that they were going to fuck up those three bullshit choices u do get to make#and in the way they fucked them up#like the devs now can say all they want about the higher ups not letting them do things but u stood there#and advertised those choices as something u could really create a great narrative with. and that was absolute bs#+ how hard would it have really been to write a couple of bullshit lines about solas being a danger#instead of the ''don't u think he can change 🥺" lines we got for the inquisitor#how hard would it have really been to LEAVE OUT harding's ''morrigan turned into a dragon'' line. how hard would it have been#to change the inquisitor for divine justinia in those stupid ass letters from the south#i do believe some of the shit writing was the tumultuous development this game had yes. but a lot of it was just because the writers#didn't know what they were doing/didn't care#sigh. sigh
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from what I'm hearing, tucker is as crazy as Angela at this point, but no one's talking about getting him out this week
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i miss tawog so bad like this is actually tragic
#need to get back to my nightly episode watches. comfort show#when s7 comes out im gonna cry bc i dont want the show to End Forever#bc i have a feeling it's gonna be funny but also ridiculously fucking depressing .#sigh. Sigh#tawog#bee.txt
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“Nova was basically OBSESSED with Casper.” HATE. HATE. HATE. HATE. HATE. THERE IS HATRED IN MY SOUL AND IN MY BODY. ANGER
#1. the sicko4sicko erasure nooooooooo#2. SERIOUSLY.#THEY FRAME THIS ENTIRE THING LIKE BETTY WOULD HAVE DONE WHATEVER SIMON WOULD HAVE WANTED TO DO#LIKE SHE DROPPED THINGS TO DO WHAT HE WANTED *BECAUSE HE ASKED HER TO*#(LIKE HE DICTATED ALL OF HER CHOICES)#(LIKE SHE WAS A HYSTERICAL WOMAN)#??? BETTY DOES WHAT SHE WANTS ALWAYS.#THE CLOSEST SHE EVER CAME TO DOING SOMETHING BECAUSE SIMON ASKED HER TO#WAS HER INVITING HERSELF ALONG ON THE ENCHIRIDION TRIP#BECAUSE HE BROUGHT THE IDEA UP AS A JOKE#SIgh. Sigh#the casper & nova animation is so fun and cute and cool#Unfortunately whenever I see them I just get very mad instantly.#atlb#basilposting
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At my most recent ophthalmologist appointment, she was examining my eyes at the back so she had me looking in the corners of my vision or whatever but she'd go "look left please" and I'd DESPERATELY start moving my eyes because I've almost alarmed my OPTOMETRIST by having a delayed response refocusing my eyes (I can move them individually, ie, giving myself a lazy eye on command) so I NEEDED to make it very very clear that no, there wasn't a delay between my impulses and my muscles, I was just stupid.
Anyway she picked up on this real quick and just started telling me to look at her finger
#shitpost#optometrist appointment#im hopeless with my left and right mannnn#is this a result of the curse? we'll never know. except we probably will because the curse is very very obviois#i think im masking so well and then i do something like suddenly and publicly understand the “married to the job” expression#i didnt know for too many years that it meant commitment because in a marriage youre committed to your spouse so if the job is your spouse#youre committed to your job#yeaaaahhh#sigh. sigh#im not dumb im just autistic im not dumb im just autistic im not dumb im just autistic I AM NOT DUMB I AM JUST AUTISTIC#says this while slamming my head into the sonk#my mantra
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I personally am still sad that every chapter that deals w Indian servants always ends up being about half as good as it could be if it could just escape from the need to be locked into doing the most basic thing
#like if it isn’t reverting back to the same rivalry theyve done 4 other times then it’s fucking uhhh 5000 pseudos and f/z reskinned#and both have decent parts but I can’t help but feel they could just be BETTER so much better#sigh. sigh#my post
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i think actually accommodating friends struggling with sobriety is not that hard. btw.
#i have the bestest friends in the whole world that were so kind to me this past couple months and so accommodating to my needs.#and i would similarly for them! its just kind of crazy to me that there are people like 'Well. cant go out drinking with you. Guess we#cant hang out.' WHAT! WHY NOT! like my message to you if youre trying to get sober or be more MINDFUL of drinking. see who still#will hang out with you regularly if drinking isnt involved. who is your friend when youre sober and still thinks youre a buddy when youre#sober. do u have to suggest bringing booze to every hang out in order to 'get the gang together?'#its just not worth it! i want friends and i have friends who like me sober and are mindful of how much i drink.#reading stories about people fully quitting drinking and their friends just. leave. because they want a party friend and not a friend.#SIGH. SIGH#alcohol
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Emily Dickinson
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nobody will ever hate my beloved team i support through everything more than i do. i hate them so much. i wish i could blow them up with my mind
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i know the human souls in the omega flowey fight are most likely in the order they fell BUT. clover being the last one freed something something flowey doesn’t want to let their friend go because they have a promise to keep (helping him get what he wants) and totally not because they don’t want to lose their only friend
im p sure clover was last in the fight tho anyway??? oh well oh well-
GHHHHGNGNG yeahyeahyeah flowey is so. no totally notttt cuz he wants to keep his friend around haha who said that what?? haha????
#asks#i think. even though flowey cant feelings or anything i think in a wah he still enjoys clovers company#like he has fun with them! he likes them!#sigh. sigh#undertale yellow spoiler
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"he sounds tired... bored. as if the whisperer was his game and his game is up and now he just wants to go home."
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i have a therapy appointment in an hour and literally want to die. what if they hate me. i can tell already that they hate me. what if they were able to deduce how much they hated me simply from the text conversations that we have had. ohhh lord
#it's the anxiety for Sure#but i mean. this is why i need therapy. among other reasons#sigh. sigh#bee.txt
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playing a lil gensh n thinking abt kinich in the archon quest. he's so brave and so determined and i admire him so much and his laser-focus on doing the next right thing has my entire chest just tightening because i know if we were partners i would be terrified and begging him to stay safe... every passing hour would be worse than the last and i would really struggle not to ask him to stay with me in the stadium instead of fulfilling his duty to his nation
#thinkmin!#genshin spoilers#<- just in case#i just remember seeing his little icon all alone in ch iv and every time it just. made me so scared for him#sigh. sigh#+kinich
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