#sigh. can y’all learn to think about other cultures for one (1) second

[quillsink]

why would you name yourself aryan. seems kinda weird idk

google is FREE <3

[cluttermind]

Without A Parachute (3/?) - No Judgment

Summary:  Emma worked tremendously hard to give herself a better chance. From group homes, to living in her car, to ivy league student, this English Major’s only solace was escaping her reality through books. One night, Emma comes home to find a small package with only her name on it written in beautiful calligraphy. The package contains a thick, brown leather journal. Emma soon learns that the fiction she writes in the journal eventually becomes reality. Will Emma learn to control this gift, or will she fall too fast into the temptation to change too much? With the help of her good friends August, Robin, and Elsa, and the mysterious, intriguing bartender of The Jolly Roger, Emma discovers just how easy it is to lose control, and how difficult it is to pick up the pieces.

Rating: M 

Words: 10,482 total / 3,335 Ch 3

Read on ao3: Beginning | Current

Note: Thought it was time to finally post this here! Thanks for reading friends! I hope you like this one - I had a lot of fun (maybe too much fun) writing it. Here's a little fun fluff and sweetness and lots of pop culture references before things get ~interesting~ Next week will probably be a hiatus while I finish up some [online] finals but a LOT happens in ch 4 so I hope you stay with me. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

//

Chapter 3

“No Judgment”

I can be your lover or your shoulder to cry on

You can be whoever you like

When you're with me, no judgement

You can get that from everyone else

You don't have to prove nothing

- Nial Horan, No Judgement

Emma worked at the bookstore all day on Friday. Being there always made her feel a little better. She was surrounded by books and all the things Belle brought back from her excursions. Bell had recently gotten a new shipment from an independent publisher she had recently found. Rose and Petal Books, while stocking many popular titles, had an extensive collection of lesser-known novels from independent publishers along with a plethora of local authors.

One book in particular caught her eye and there was only one copy sent in the box. The book was bound in a soft, brown leather with its title engraved and filled with gold foil on the cover in beautiful cursive. Into The Page . There was no barcode to scan for inventory.

“That’s odd.” Emma commented to herself, turning the thick book over in her hands. She opened it up to skim the pages and noticed that it was a journal filled with handwritten content. Something about the book felt faintly familiar. While the title was beautiful, there wasn’t anything remarkable about it. She figured it might have been someone’s manuscript that was sent to the publisher that got mixed in by accident.

“Hey Belle,” she called to her boss who was at the register, reading.

“Find something interesting?” Belle asked as she walked over to where Emma was in the back room.

“I think they accidentally sent us someone’s manuscript?” Emma handed her the journal.

“Hm. That is interesting.” Belle gently flipped through the book. “I’ll call the publisher tomorrow. It’s getting late, why don’t you head home for the night.”

Emma looked at the clock. It was 8:00, only an hour till closing anyway. “Sure. I’ll see you next week?” Belle nodded and gave Emma a quick hug. Before leaving, she hung up her apron and turned her phone back on. Emma usually turns her phone off during work and uses the time as an escape from everything. There were a few texts coming into her group chat about the meeting Elsa and Robin were at. Essentially the meeting was going to run long, lots of signs needed to be made before Sunday’s protest about something or other. Emma wasn’t really up-to-date on this particular one. August offered to come help because he was bored.

There was a text from her roommate Sarah to her and Claire that came in half an hour ago.

Sarah to group: Hey, Josh is coming over to cook me dinner and you know ;) can y’all stay out till like midnight? Maybe 1 if things go really well ;) Don’t want any distractions tonight ladies

Claire to group: Yeah I’m staying with Danielle tonight - we’re hitting up the Alpha Delta Pi party tonight

Emma sighed. Her friends were busy and she wasn't in the mood to spend hours making posters and signs after working all day. But the library would be open for a while longer. She could use the computers and scroll through Reddit for a few hours.

Emma to group: Sure thing. Have fun :)

Then she remembered someone she could waste some time with. She walked towards The Jolly Roger and opened the door. It was starting to get crowded but it wasn’t too hectic yet. Emma made her way to the bar and noticed Ruby there along with a man she hadn’t met yet.

“Hey Ruby,” Emma said, smiling. She and Ruby had gotten to know each other since they had first met at the pub. Ruby was a junior majoring in art. She also hated Macroeconomics, the class they were in together, but it was filling a graduation requirement. They studied together a few times and always ended up begging Killian for free food. Emma always ended up paying though, sneaking the money under the plate before she left.

“Hey! Looks like you’re in better spirits today. You okay?” Ruby responded, referencing the previous night that Emma would very much like to forget.

“Nothing that sleep couldn’t fix,” she lied. While the initial shock of yesterday was gone, the pain, the anger, the self-doubt still lingered.

“If you’re looking for the Captain he’s upstairs.”

“What?” Blush rose to Emma’s face.

“Killian. He’s upstairs. Took the night off. Just take the stairs behind the bar, walk two floors up and you’ll be at his door. I’m sure he won’t mind!” Ruby explained.

“Oh. Thanks.” Emma headed up the stairs, and hesitated at the door. Through it she could hear the sound of a guitar strumming. Maybe he didn’t want company. Maybe he’d rather be alone. Maybe he didn’t want to see her . She could just go back and sit at the bar and talk to Ruby for a while. They weren’t super close but she could find things for them to talk about. It was also getting busy downstairs though. Pull it together Emma. She knocked on the door.

The sound of the guitar stopped and seconds later Killian opened the door. He was surprised and happy to see her. “Hello, Swan. What brings you here? A little early for a booty call no?” Killian grinned, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Oh it’s never too early,” Emma played along staring right at Killian who was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed at his chest. “My roommate sexiled me and I needed somewhere to crash for a while.”

Killian stepped aside to let her in. He was wearing just a plain black v-neck t-shirt and grey joggers. It was odd seeing him out of his work attire - a black button down with two buttons undone at the top and dark, a black vest, and slim-fitted jeans. He watched her as she walked in and closed the door, distracted by her being.

“Sexiled?” Killian teased. “Well if you insist, love. Can’t leave a beautiful woman unsatisfied now, could we?” Emma slapped his arm.

“You know what it means. Sarah kicked me out so she could fuck her boyfriend without interruption. Honestly the warning was appreciated because even my ear buds can’t tune her out.” Emma explained. She took her jacket off and draped it over a stool at Killian’s kitchen Island. His apartment was beautiful. It was an open concept with a gorgeous kitchen, a beautiful island, a ridiculously comfortable sectional, with an oversized chase at one end and a large TV mounted to the wall. Speakers were all over. The doors to his bedroom with glass french doors, making the one-bedroom apartment look bigger than it is. “Sorry for not texting before, I thought you’d be working and was coming to sit at the bar for a while. Ruby told me you were up here.”

“No worries, love. I quite enjoy the company,” Killian said, moving to flop down on the chaise part of the couch. “And it’s clear that you find me so irresistible that you just had to see me tonight instead of one of your other friends.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Oh I can resist you just fine. Everyone else was busy.”

“Ouch!” Killian feigned pain, his hand going to his heart. “So I was your second choice.”

“4th actually.” Emma teased.

“Keep telling yourself that.” He winked and patted the spot next to him. “How about a movie? Anything in particular you’re interested in watching?”

Emma kicked her boots off and flopped down next to him. They were so close their arms and legs were touching. He nudged her foot playfully and he turned on the TV and opened Netflix. She shrugged against him. “Whatever you’re watching is fine. I don’t want to disrupt your evening.”

“You’re not disrupting anything, love.” Killian responded, handing her the remote. “Snacks?” He got up, taking the warmth of his body with him and Emma suddenly missed the closeness.

“When have I ever turned down food?” Killian laughed. She adored the sound of his laugh. It always made her smile. Emma scrolled through Killian’s watch list on Netflix. Ozark, The Witcher, The West Wing, Grey’s Anatomy . The last one made Emma giggle under her breath. So Mr. Bartender is a Grey’s fan. She made a mental note to tease him about that later. Not like she was the one to speak though. Ever since August let her use his Netflix account she’s been on that binge as well. Killian tossed a bag of popcorn in the microwave. “How was your day?” Emma asked, genuinely caring about the answer.

Killian groaned. “Infuriating. It was a lot of inventory and ordering and arguing to get things here on time. I prefer working the bar to that any day. How was yours?”

“Eh, it was fine. I spent all day working down at The Rose and Petal.”

“The bookstore?”

“Yup.”

“Aye, my grandad loved it there. Belle still owns it?”

“She does. Your grandfather lives here? What’s his name? Maybe I’ve seen him.”

Killian leaned back against the island, gripping it a little tighter as his eyes moved from Emma to the floor.  “Nah, love. He used to live here. He passed away 2 years ago, just after I opened the pub.”

Emma’s face softened. “Killian, I’m so sorry.”

He looked up at Emma. “He was a professor at Cornell. In the English department actually.” He tilted his head and smiled a bit. “You remind me a bit of him.”

Emma smiled back. “How so?”

“He loved academia and his research and teaching. He always had a book in his hand. Sometimes he’d lose all track of the world around him when he was working or reading. He was a fountain of useless knowledge. He knew little about music but always asked me what I was listening to, only took his coffee black except for at the pub, and asked me how my day was every time I saw him and always cared about what the answer was.” Killian reminisced. He had spent nearly every summer growing up in Ithaca with his grandma and granddad. Killian still couldn’t believe that he’s gone. “He always made me smile and loved telling me about what he was reading. He was my best friend.”

“He sounds wonderful.” Emma noted, blush creeping to her cheeks feeling both sad for Killian’s loss and flattered at the sentiment that she reminded me of someone he clearly loved so deeply. When Emma wasn’t physically at The Jolly Roger or with her friends or at work, she was usually texting Killian. They talked about nonsense most of the time but there was something comforting seeing his name pop up on her phone after long days. In retrospect, she wasn’t surprised that it was him she made her way to last night when life had shaken her to her core. Emma knew he’d be the one to help her hold the broken pieces together. If she was being honest with herself, it still felt as if those pieces were scattered on the floor. And from the look in his eyes, she could tell he had some pieces there as well.

“Aye. Wonderful.” Killian said. Although it was unclear who exactly he was talking about as he looked at her. Just then the microwave went off, breaking his trance. He opened the hot bag and poured the popcorn into a bowl. “So what’re we watching?” He asked, reaching to grab and open a bottle of wine.

“Well I saw this really fascinating documentary on sharks the other day that I wanted to show you.” Emma explained.

“Sharks, huh? What about them?” KIllian asked, intrigued.

Emma brightened, and animatedly explained the general plot. “So there’s this group of sharks that are living in the water around New York City. And there’s this big storm that’s coming, but no one is listening to the people telling them about the storm so of course no one prepares for the storm. So two tornadoes form over the water picking up all the sharks -”

“Emma.” Killian interrupts her, turning to look at her. “That’s the plot of Sharknado.”

“Sharknado 2: The Second One actually.” She corrects him.

“We are not watching Sharknado 2.” Killian says, chuckling. He hands her a glass of white wine which she accepts as he takes his place on the couch next to her.

“Sharknado 1?”

“Swan.”

“You mean to tell me you have no desire to watch Ian Ziering fight some flying CGI sharks?” She joked. She was clearly teasing him, enjoying the way he laughed at her ridiculous suggestions. Truth be told she’s seen all the movies multiple times. Who doesn’t love a flying CGI shark and an awful romance plot? Emma and her friends had multiple drunk movie nights last semester to watch them all. They provided a good laugh.

Killian laughed. “Aye, how about a real movie?”

“A REAL movie?” Emma feigned offense. “Clearly you have no respect for low-budget disaster films.” She grabbed a handful of popcorn, popping some into her mouth.

Killian nudged her playfully. “I think the low budget disaster movies have no respect for the viewers.”

“That’s the point! But fine.” Emma paused, thinking of a movie. “How about Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No?”

“Again with the flying sharks! You know that you have not listed a single shark documentary yet, love.” Killian jokes, taking a sip of wine.

“What about The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society?” Emma said, taking some popcorn. “It’s one of my favorites. Also Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens, Sharknado 5: Global Swarming, and The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time are just not as good as the first three so I’m out of flying shark suggestions.” Killian stared at her, jaw nearly hitting the floor at the absurdity of the existence of 6 Sharknado movies and the fact that Emma has clearly seen them all. But her actual suggestion was sincere. It was an intriguing story of love and war and literature that Emma had seen at least 10 times. It reminded her of the power that books had.

“Now we’re getting somewhere.” Killian said eventually, choosing to let the Sharknado movies go. He searched for the film on Netflix and hit play when he found it.

About 20 minutes and a glass of wine later, Emma had snuggled closer to Killian. Partially for warmth, partially because her body reacted instinctively to his being so close. Killian, feeling that Emma was cold against him, reached behind them to grab a blanket, tossing it over them and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She leaned in closer to him, resting her head against his shoulder.

Her favorite film about writers and readers and the power of literature and love pulled all of the pain of the events of yesterday back to the surface. The weight of her professor’s words were sitting on her chest like a boulder and she couldn’t bear that weight alone anymore Eventually, Emma spoke softly. “I didn’t tell you the whole story last night.” The words spilled effortlessly out of her mouth. There was something about Killian that made her feel safe.  

Killians eyes stayed on the movie as he rubbed his thumb reassuringly over her shoulder. “Aye, I figured.” He wasn’t about to push her to tell him. He wanted to let her know that he saw her and that she could some to him on her own terms.

“Professor Gold told me I shouldn’t be a writer. That I don’t have what it takes and that I should consider another career.” This caught Killian’s attention. He shifted so he was looking right at her.

“What?!” Killian’s accent was thick with concern.

“He was apparently doing me a favor.” Her eyes were wet. Control was slipping from her grasp. She desperately needed to let go. Emma had tried so desperately to tell herself that none of her professor’s words mattered, to pretend like they didn’t affect her. Truth be told, she barely slept last night, constantly being woken up by recurring thoughts that he was right, that she wasn’t good enough, that she was a fraud.

“What kind of person thinks that’s a bloody favor?” Killian interrupted the tightening spiral of her thoughts.

Emma paused, letting the spiral start to slowly unwind. “What if he’s right?” She whispered. The question she’d been asking herself she had finally said out loud. A single tear escaped from her eye that Killian was quick to wipe away.

“He’s wrong. And you’re too stubborn to let him be right.”

“I just - I don’t know if I can do this.” Emma fell apart. She had held everything together until this moment. She didn’t know if she had what it took to survive Cornell. She didn’t have the support system most people had and she certainly didn’t have the resources others did growing up. Her average grades weren’t helping her imposter syndrome. What if she was here by mistake? What if she would never be good enough? What if she didn’t deserve to be here? Tears escaped her eyes faster than Killian could wipe them away.

Killian pulled her close, rubbing her back. “Shhh, love. Shhh. Yes you can.” He kissed the top of her head. Why? He had absolutely no idea. He hoped it would comfort her. “You made it this far. You got here. You got to this point. Fuck what Gold says. Fuck what anyone says.” Emma let herself relax into his arms locked tightly around her as she choked on sobs, tears falling to his shirt.

Then Killian remembered what his brother used to say to him when he was struggling. “You get to make your own choices. Make them based on what makes you happy.” He gently brushed her hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. “Does writing make you happy?”

Emma looked up at him. “It’s the only thing that makes me happy.”

“Oi, now I’m slightly offended!” He joked, smiling at her.

Emma tried to fight the smile pulling at her lips. “Your ego is ridiculous.”

“But I got you to smile, no?”

“You always do.” Emma wasn’t joking anymore. The way he looked at her made her heart skip beats and the way he cared for her scared the hell out of her. Something about Killian drew her to him and she didn’t doubt he felt the same. He ensured she was fed during late night studying and provided distractions when she needed a break. It was Killian she found herself going to when she needed to scream to someone.

They returned their attention to the film. While Killian had no idea what was going on, Emma was mesmerized, whispering some of her favorite lines under her breath along with the movie. Killian spent more time watching her than the move, enamored by the way she memorized her favorite parts, the way her brow furrowed when characters she didn’t like appeared, the way she gently hit his chest to shush him every time he attempted to ask what was happening or who a particular character was.

Eventually the movie ended. Emma reluctantly sat up, sighing as she removed herself from Killian’s arms and the warmth of his body.

“Thank you for letting me interrupt your evening. It was nice to be in a bubble for a bit and feel something other then . . . I don’t even know.” Emma said quietly. Killian turned to look at her.

“Then stay in the bubble for a while longer, love.” He held his arm out to her and she settled against him. Emma rested her head on Killian’s chest, draping her arm around his waist. His fingers traced lazy circles on her back. He wanted to be her escape, her bubble where things were good and where she could cry if she needed to. And she had the urge to be his.

For a while they laid like that - content in each other’s arms, clueless to the world around them, shutting out all the pain they both felt. In time they fell asleep for the most restful night either of them had in a long time.

[what-the-pyaar]

Hi! So I remember a while back that you said that the dargah scene in IPKKND is what made u fall in love with the show but what are ur fave Arshi/non Arshi moments BEFORE the shaadi????

HI!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE this question! And I wanted to get itperfect, so I took a long ass time getting back to you, and I’m sorry! 

So I’m gonna go by Season throughout my favorite scenes pre(forced) marriage track!!! I’m gonna TRY limiting myself to 3 scenes perseason, otherwise this will be a ridiculously long post!

Season1 

·I think everyone knows what this is! My number one scene fromthis entire show happened in season 1. Y’all know what I’m talking about?!?!THE ARZIYAAN SCENE! that scene is literally the reason I started watching notonly IPKKND but any tellywood show in GENERAL! like that is how much of animpact it had on me. I think it’s just so beautifully done, everything about itis perfection. And if you don’t understand, WATCH IT AGAIN. CAUSE IT’SAMAZING! 

·I think the second scene is also kind of an obvious one…THEFIRST EVER RABBA VE MOMENT!!!! Like I reacted the EXACT same way as Arnavbitwa. So like. Yea. I get it Arnav. Also kinda attached with this scene-Ireally enjoyed the first (real) interaction between Akash and Khushi. I felt asif it was really indicative about Akash and Payal’s future relationship,because Akash was acting like an older sibling towards Khushi.

·The entire Khushi trapped in a damaged building + Arnav savingher –So..this scene I have really mixed feelings about. Sometimes I love itand sometimes it makes me SOOOO angry. BUT the aspect of this small sequencethat never fails to make me happy, is Khushi grabbing on to Arnav’s lapels, andnot letting go even when he puts her in bed. I just adore that motif that theyhad going throughout the series-and it was especially significant in Season 7,when Khushi DIDN’T (and then Arnav’s smile when she woke up and did..ANYWAYS!CUTEST SHIT EVER)

·A scene I feel is really underrated in season 1 is the scene inthe mandir after the resignation. Ijust loved the whole, “bumping into each other, and spilling Kumkum everywhere”thing. And also Arnav getting all whiny when Khushi won’t let him talk to heris ADORABLE.

·My last favorite scene during this season is when Khushi breaksher fast with Arnav!!! (I actually think that’s the name of the episode…???TWOOD needs to title episodes better y’all) I’m just such a slut for auspiciousforeshadowing like that.

Season2

·My first favorite scene in Season 2 (Maybe my all time favoritescene in this season???) is the scene where Arnav finds Khushi hiding in hiswardrobe. Like HOW FREAKING CUTE WAS THAT WHOLE SCENE?!?!? And he just looks soin AWE of her! Like he just gets so excited, and relieved! It was just thecutest shit ever.

·I love the scene where Khushi thinks she has to rescue Lavanyafrom Arnav, because he’s holding her “hostage” and not getting married to her.Like the way that Khushi just rationalized that! I was like “…this girl isinsane.” BUT ADORABLE! SO IT’S OKAY! And then the next day she passes himeating her fucking chole and muttering about what a “bin shaadi waala rakshash” he is

· Another! Instance of Khushi being just the fucking cutest! Wouldbe when she’s trying to cheer Payal up, and she acts drunk and ad-libs thescene from Sholay where Dharmendra is all drunk on the water tower! AND THEN! WhenArnav sees her safe at home and just breathes the BIGGEST sigh of relief (BECAUSEYA IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HER. IT JUST WOULD’VE BEEN BITWA’S FAULT. END OFSTORY.)

Season3-This is one of myfavorite seasons sooooo!!!!

·Straight off the bat! The scene where Khushi apologizes to Arnavabout playing all those pranks on him !!! LOVE IT!

“Mango juice.”

“It’s cause I couldn’t findorange juice!

Like howadorable can ONE person be????!!!! AND BITWA CLEARLY AGREES WITH ME.

·The scene where the pink dupatta lands on Khushi’s head whenArnav throws it. IT’S THE FIRST TIME ARNAV LIKE SEES HER AS HIS BRIDE. AND IT’SANOTHER MOTIF I’M IN LOVE WITH.

·I liked the scene where Arnav “learns to apologize” but I alsodon’t think it’s that big of a deal, so like it gets a mention, but in my headI always kind of roll my eyes whenever writers make a BIG DEAL of the male leadsaying sorry for the ~first~ time ever. Cause like, that just shows that thecharacter is so selfish and egoistic that they just never thought they’d evermade a mistake before…which like…really????

·THE SCENE WHERE KHUSHI CRIES WHEN SHE SEES ARNAV PUT HIS FUCKINGARMS AROUND LAVANYA. LIKE SANAYA AND BARUN DID THIS DAMN SCENE SO FUCKING WELL.LIKE KHUSHI IS HAPPY AND DANDY AND FINE, BUT AS SOON AS ARNAV RECIPROCATESLAVANYA’S AFFECTION, KHUSHI’S LIKE “HELL NO. THAT’S MY MAN. WHAT THE FUCK ISGOING ON?!?!” AND HER OWN BEWILDERMENT AT THE FACT THAT SHE’S CRYING. THISSCENE IS GOLD. SOLID FUCKING GOLD.

·Khushi saving Lavanya from Dadi when she puts the tulsi outsideAHAHAHA! Gooood shit! And she blames Arnav! He just looks so genuinely thrownoff when Khushi winks at him! It’s so funny!

· Khushi and her acidity waala dhak-dhak 

·The ENTIRITY of the Nanital track. Like that’s all I have tosay. It was just perfect and I loved it. (of course I wish Arnav wasn’t alwayssuch a god damn DICK)

· The scene after Shashi’s paralysis, when Khushi runs to Arnav.What really gets me about this scene is that when Arnav hears Khushi say she’s “completelybroken” you can just see him break too. And he wants to comfort her SO BADLY.But I always felt like he stopped because he didn’t think he had any haq over her. And only later, after hepays the bill and Khushi talks to him about her feelings, does he feel as if hehas haq and therefore comforts her byputting his hand on her head. A VERY meaningful gesture in Indian culture.

·Honestly. Almost ever scene with Khushi and Arnav for the restof the season. Like I’m not even joking this is my second favorite season inthe entire show. I loved everything about the progression of their relationshipand the resistance that they both had. This was the season where I stoppedwatching the show because I was “curious” and started watching because Igenuinely wanted to

Season4

·The entire Raizada clan working DESPERATELY for Khushi to stayin the house! OOO LA LA OOO LA LAAA!

·All of Akash’s attempts to propose to Payal, they’re just sosweet, and so very Akash.

·All the little winking, side smiling moments between Arnav andKhushi as they’re working on getting Payal to say yes to Akash’s proposal. “hai na Arnav ji?”

•The scene where arnav finds out about khushi’s engagement!

·The scene where Khushi cries on Arnav’s shoulder after she findsout the truth about Shyam. I always think about what would’ve happened if shehad told him. I still feel as if things wouldn’t have worked out with Khushiand Arnav for a LONG TIME

Season5-THE MOST GLORIOUS OF ALL SEASONS!!! THIS SEASON IS MY FAVORITESEASON EVER. LITERALLY EVERY SCENE BETWEEN ARNAV AND KHUSHI! I LOVE IT! THEYFINALLY REALIZE THEIR FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER AND JUST EVERYTHING ABOUT THISSEASON MAKES MY HEART FLUTTER! I can’t even pick specific scenes, because I’dhave to list them ALL. Literally this season is the BEST SEASON.

SO CLEARLY! my attempt at choosing 3 scenes per season failed MISERABLY! but I just LOVE THIS DAMN SHOW! 

[loveinthewriteway]