#side note: she probably would not have actually done this had she understood everything thats actually up with the Wither

[poisonouspastels]

well to summarize

Look Who’s Inside Again - Bo Burnham TW for some minor depictions of gore (zombies and burn injuries) Groda has to deal with the consequences of her actions. White Eyes unfortunately also has to deal with that.

[doyouevenshipbr0]

gruvia dabble

author's note: bruh. yall knew i had to write SOMETHING!!! these last couple weeks have been CRAZY for us gruvia lovers ughhh im so happy!!! and ok im probably eventually going to write what i think will happen in the upcoming chapters before they come out, but i usually don't like to write fics based on like what i think will happen in the next chap. cus then when my fic is just completely disproven by the following chapter im kinda like "eh thats kind of a waste." u know what im saying?? ik theyre called "fan fiction" for a reason but idk. i like to write things that could actually be in the realm of possibilities for the canon. ok does that make any sense??? ok well this fic is heavily inspired by our beautiful chapter 26. also it is soooo like 192727 other drabbles ive already written hehe. also this literally doesnt rly make sense tbh. i just wanted gray telling juvia his thought process like he did w juvina. so. enjoy❤️❤️❤️

*

"Gray-sama would you like to-" Juvia eagerly approached her dear Gray. Since the guild was finally up and running again after the Alvarez war, she couldn't wait to spend actual quality time with Gray. They hadn't really gotten to since they were so busy with the construction of the guild.

"Nope. Goin' on a job." Gray casually walked passed Juvia with his hands in his pockets.

"Eh?!" Juvia snapped her head around and watched Gray leave. "So soon?! Can Juvia at least come with?!" She called out as he continued to walk.

"Nope. Talk to ya' later." Gray didn't turn around. He just stuck a hand up and waved, still heading straight out the door.

Juvia was taken aback for a moment, but she understood. As much as she loved to shower Gray with affection, she knew he was a lone wolf at heart. And with constantly being surrounded by his guildmates as they all fought for who would get to use the hammer next, he was certainly drained.

Juvia nodded with determination. "It's alright. Next time." She said with certainty in her head.

However, over the next three weeks of Gray taking mission after mission and constantly dismissing Juvia, she was frustrated to say the least. She watched him walk out that door with hardly acknowledging her for the last time.

Without even thinking, her feet began to strut their way to catch up with Gray. She picked up her pace and finally caught up with him before he could leave the grounds of the guild.

"Gray-sama." Juvia called, and Gray paused. She used the time to catch up with him, and there they stood in the courtyard.

"What's up?" He simply asked.

"Juvia was just-- well--" She began to get nervous. She cheeks reddened as imagery of she and her beloved Gray danced through her head. She shyly put her hands behind her bag and wiggled her foot a bit. "Juvia was hoping to spend some time with Gray-sama, now that everything's finally calmed down."

"Yeah. We can later." Gray turned right back around and began walking again.

"Wait!" Juvia reached out and grabbed his wrist, stopping him in his tracks. She let go after a brief pause and Gray looking back at her with his piercing eyes.

"It's just-" She looked away, her eyes saddened. "Juvia's been trying to talk to Gray-sama for about three weeks now, and you've done nothing but ignore me." She pouted a bit. "Just when will later be?" She finished.

Gray sighed. "I dunno'"

"You don't know?!"

"Yeah. I don't know when later will be." His voice was firm.

Juvia was startled at the harshness of his voice and sheepishly caved in a bit. "Has-" Juvia stammered, clearly nervouse. "Has Juvia done something?"

"Huh?" Gray rasied a brow.

"Has Juvia done something to make Gray-sama mad at her?" Her eyes were suddenly glossy with tears, and Gray's eyes reacted by opening up.

"N-no! Not at all! You said it yourself, we haven't hung out in weeks. How could I be mad at you?" Gray was guilty for his tone.

"But why haven't you spent time with me in weeks Gray-sama?" Juvia pried, almost begging. "There's got to be a reason."

Gray's face regained composure. He remembered his purpose. He looked away. "I'm busy."

"Busy with what?"

"Busy with work."

"Well, you don't have to be so busy. And if you need to work so badly, you can always bring Juvia with you on-" Her voice regained its spunk as she began to form a new idea, only to have Gray shoot it down.

"No." He was harsh again.

"No?" Juvia's voice quivered.

"This doesn't have anything to do with you." Gray still looked away.

Juvia's heart sunk. "Oh." Tears began to well up again. "Well." She was looking for the right words to say, but she was at a loss. "Juvia will just mind her own business then." Just as she turned away to sulk back to the guild, Gray caught a glimpse of the tear that rolled down her cheek.

"Wait!" This time, Gray was the one reaching for Juvia's wrist. "I'm sorry." His voice was smoother.

"N-no..." Juvia's voice was timid. "Juvia is the one who is sorry for-"

"Stop it. You don't need to apologize." Gray loosened the grip on her wrist, but pulled her back a couple steps.

"I was lying." Gray said as Juvia finally faced him again, tears glassing over her eyes. "This does have to do with you." He blushed.

"Then why can't Juvia come with-"

"Because, that's not why it has to do with you." As Juvia cocked her head to side, clearly confused, Gray realized that what he was saying sounded silly.

"Gah!" Gray called out and hit himself with his palm, feeling frustrated for bot understanding how to form the thoughts in his head into words. "Do you wanna' sit somewhere?" He finally asked.

Juvia was still confused, but of course nodded in agreement.

The two found a nearby bench that was sitting right in front of a big, clear lake. The sunset reflected on the water, and created an image almost as beautiful as the water itself. They looked at in admiration for a moment, and Juvia turned back to Gray.

"So how does this involve Juvia?" She finally asked.

"I-- I--" Gray remained looking at the lake and ruffled his hair. "I gotta' keep going on missions."

"But why?" Juvia asked, sweetly.

"I... have to get stronger." Gray grumbled as he leaned forward.

"Stronger?" Juvia chuckled. "That's silly! Gray-sama is already the strongest man in the whole world! There is no one thay can compare to you, dear! Why would you think a few missions could improve that?" Juvia swooned.

"If I was the strongest man in the world you wouldn't have that scar." Gray finally said something clearly. Juvia choked on her breath.

"Eh?" She said, softly. "Juvia gave this scar to herself."

"And it was to save me." He seemed like he was growing angrier.

"Yes, but-"

"If I was strong enough, I would've been able to break his chains before that happened. I would've been able to stop it and save you." The composure in his voice was clearly wavering.

"Gray-sama..." Juvia reached an arm and placed it on Gray's back.

"I'm sorry Juvia." His voice shook, and he still did not look at her. "I know I promised you an answer, and at the time i meant it. I still do. It's just-"

Horrible images flashed in Gray's mind, making his skin crawl. "After Invel, and almost losing you, not begin able to protect you... it--it killed me." Gray gritted his teeth, almost like he was biting back tears.

"Darling... You know Juvia is just fine protecting herself." She reasoned.

"Yeah, but you don't understand." He spat.

"Juvia is trying to understand."

"I need more confidence in myself. I need it. I need to know I can protect you when the time comes. And I need to know with 100% certainty." He finally looked at her, and Juvia swore she could see tears trying to break loose from his eyes. "I thought I knew back then, but I was wrong. Just like I was with Ur, Ultear, my dad, and anyone that I've ever loved, but wanted to protect. Just when I thought I could, it was too late. I thought it was too late with you, but it wasn't. This is my second chance, Juvia. I need to know for certain that I'll be enough."

Juvia scooted a bit closer. "Gray-sama, there is always going to be something out there that will pose a threat to you or me. It's inevitable. All that matters is that we do everything in our power to protect one another. As long as we try, our love will always prevail. You were more than enough for me from the moment we met, and Juvia would think you would see that by now."

"I know how you feel about me, and I know how I feel about you. I just need to make sure I'm the best version of myself for you. Please, understand. I have to do this." His eyes were beckoning for her.

"Gray-sama, Juvia just-" She paused when she saw the desperation in his eyes. "When will it finally be enough? When will you know you're strong enough?"

"I've decided I'm going to take the 100 Years Quest. After that, I'll be ready. I'm certain of it." Determination was plastered in his face once again.

"This is so unnecessary." Juvia sighed. "But if this is what Gray-sama must do, Juvia will wait. Juvia understands that you must do this for yourself, but I just wish Gray-sama can see that he is already more than enough for me." She put her hand atop of his and gave him a reassuring grin.

"Thank you." Gray smiled back and gave her hand a little squeeze. "I know I'll be ready soon, and once I am, I'm gonna' go after you." Gray gave a smirk, Juvia's face became flushed with his sudden forwardness.

The two shared a heartfelt gaze, as they looked in each other's eyes and finally understood one another. They gave calming smiles, finished by another hand squeeze from Gray.

"No matter what."

[pinkykitten]

bruise

Stranger Things

Steve Harrington x Hargrove! female reader

Warning: abuse, violence, cursing

Specifics: angst, fluff, romance, one-shot, hargrove! reader

People: steve harrington, billy hargrove, max mayfield, susan, neil

Words: 1,741

Requested: By anon Hello! I'm literally in love with your blog and the way you do it. It's amazing. I was wondering if I can request one with Steve Harrington, where the reader is Billy's sister and one time, he hits her because they were arguing so in school Steve noticed the bruises and ask her what is going on and make it kinda angsty but with a fluffy ending? I understand if it's too much or if it's too weird but I had this dream about it and that. Love you so much!

Authors Note: agghhhh this is so nice! tysm darling! i swear dream requests r like the best because i can tell u i have the most mundane dreams or they r like they dont make sense and im like high lol. this has violence and abuse in it so just beware and just a warning. also one scene i got inspiration from a star is born where they go to the supermarket and he patches her up with frozen pears i luv that scene. anyway im gonna be opening up my requests so requests r open again! 

Being Billy’s sister wasn’t easy. He had a temper on him, and where there were good times with him when he didn’t get what he want his anger would consume him. After your mother and your father split life wasn’t easy. It was difficult with them together but now it was just impossible. Billy didn’t want to move, he didn’t want to leave his friends. And your father found someone new. Her name was Susan, she had red hair and she was timid to your father’s actions. She was the quiet housewife. She brought some baggage with her though it may seem to others but to you, she was a gift. It was a little girl, around 13, her name was Maxine, but everyone called her Max. She was a joy. You and her found to spend the most time together. You both understood one another. She felt compassion for you with your brother and father and you felt sorry for her with your brother. He was a jerk to his stepsister, you tried your hardest to stop him but once Billy hates someone, he most likely will hate that person forever. So you intervene when they have their arguments, almost always picking Max’s side. 

From California all the way to Hawkins, Indiana you all went to enjoy or try to live a new life, with the new family. 

“This place looks and smells like shi*,” Billy whined as he smoked a cigarette and placed his hands in his jean pockets. 

“C’mon Billy, it can’t be that bad. Trust me you’re gonna make a lot of new friends, I just know it. Things are going to work out for all of us.” You tried to sound enthusiastic because your father and his new wife were right next to you but you had your doubts as well. “Yeah see, y/n knows what she’s talking about,” your father laughed as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. 

Your father was abusive towards you and Billy, sometimes you wondered if that’s what made Billy that way towards people. Its uncomfortable to hang out with your dad. He was nothing like a dad to you. A father doesn’t smack his child in the face leaving them a bruise, a father doesn’t belittle his children. You just felt stuck. 

Then you met Steve. Steve was probably the best thing that’s ever happened to you. He was your best friend at first but then you started to grow a little crush on him. You think he doesn’t like you back like that because you’re Billy’s sister, and you know Billy bullies Steve. You always try to stop Billy from doing so. 

“Billy would you just give it a break man!” You shouted. You were alone with Billy, the family out for dinner. You and Billy were having an argument about where they currently live, Steve, and about Max. 

“Oh you wan’t me to give you a break, y/n I hate living in this shi*hole!”

“Oh my god Billy, shut up! You complain about everything, Max is not a nuisance, not even Steve is either,” you muttered the last part as you sat on the couch.

“I don’t want her as a sister! Dad keeps forcing this life on me, but I don’t want it. He doesn’t even deserve happiness.”

“Sometimes Billy things happen in life that we cannot change, but in the end you make do with what you got.”

Billy frowned at you then raised a brow, “yeah just like you’re doing Steve. Tell me, how does it feel to be in bed with the king of high school?

With that you stood up, furious. You felt like punching Billy, your fist raised in the air, but you stopped your actions and considered the consequences. “Don’t ever talk about Steve like that again.”

Billy walked closer to you, his face mere centimeters apart, “no one, tells me what to do.” With that he hit you on the face. It was so hard that you fell back and hit your head on the plush couch. Your eye stung and so did your cheek. As you looked at Billy’s face you could already tell he regretted what he did. 

“Y/n, I’m sorry, I,”

“I hate you!” You screamed, tears running down your face as you ran to your room. You locked the door and cried on your bed for the rest of the night. 

When you woke up you looked in the mirror to see that it now became a bruise. You tried covering as much up as you can with makeup. It was time to go to school and you walked there, not wanting to ride with Billy. 

“Hey y/n,” a smile appeared as Steve walked to you. He put his arm up on your locker and saw that you weren’t your usual cheery self. “Hey what happened?”

You took your books out and shook your head, faking a grin, “nothing. I’m fine really.”

Steve knew how Billy was and was always on your side. All he wanted to do was protect you and to make sure you were safe. “If anything were to happen between you and your brother, you would tell me, right? I do care about you a lot y/n, I don’t want to see you hurt.”

You closed your locker and placed your hand on his cheek, “I’m fine Steve, you have nothing to worry about.” As you spoke you scratched where the bruise was at. You winced and looked away. 

“Wait, you’re hurt.” Steve turned your face so you can look up at him and thats where he saw the bruise. His jaw clenched as he saw the purple wound. “Who gave you this?”

“Steve its nothing really I-”

“How did this happen?” Steve was getting angrier and angrier by the minute. You didn’t deserve to be treated this way, you deserved way more. 

“Funny story actually, I fell down the stairs and I got this.”

“Bull shi*, its your brother isn’t it? Its Billy?” Steve asked but in reality he knew it was either your father or your brother. 

Tears started to form in your eyes again, “yes, it was Billy. We had an argument and he got mad.”

Steve was so irate, he almost ran to the entrance of the school but you stopped him by pulling his sleeve, “no Steve please. Don’t leave me, I, I need you.”

Steve saw the desperation in your eyes and that you did need him at this moment, you were hurting and he knew that he needed to be there for you. 

“C’mon we need to get that taken care of.”

Steve grabbed your hand and he led you to the cafeteria. “Steve we’re gonna miss class.”

“Screw class, right now I’m only worried about you.”

He led you to the frozen area and brought out frozen bag of mixed vegetables that they serve at lunch. “Those things are pretty disgusting,” you chuckled as Steve looked for tape, he laughed as well, “yeah they kinda taste like as* to me so I’m glad I’m not the only one.”

Once Steve found the tape and brought the frozen vegetables he stopped by the refrigerator. “We also need these.” He then stacked up on chocolate pudding. 

“Oh my god Steve! My sister’s friends love those!” 

Steve grinned and still holding your hand managed to hold all the items, “they are essential to making you feel better.”

“You do know there is a clinic near by that I could of gone to at the school?”

Steve shrugged, “yeah but all they would of done was dab some hand sanitizer on that and call it a day. I can’t have them doing that to you, you need more work done.”

You lightly bumped into him playfully. “You’re so silly Steve Harrington.”

“I try to be for all the pretty ones.” He gave you a playful wink. Your heart was beating fast with him. You liked Steve a lot but you thought it was just not meant to be. 

He brought you to the science class. It was empty and it would be since it needed remodeling done. 

“What are we doing here Steve? We’re not supposed to be here!” You tried to knock some sense into him but he just held onto your hand and brought you to the desk. You sat beside him. You two sitting next to each other. 

“We need to take care of the bruise.”

Steve brought the frozen bag out and lightly placed it on your bruise. You winced a little at the pain and Steve apologized. He was so close to your face! Then he taped it. You looked up and saw what he did, making you laugh, “I look ridiculous!”

“I think that kinda suits you.”

You shook your head and the vegetables in the bag shook, “Oh my god why are we doing this? Why are you doing this?”

Steve placed his hand on yours and lightly brushed it, “Because you were hurt, and you don’t deserve that.”

Your eyes twinkled to him, they were like stars. You couldn’t handle it no more. With a leap of faith you moved closer to him on the chair and planted your lips on his. At first he was surprised but then he deepened it himself. It was a passionate kiss, you walked forward and placed yourself on his lap, deepening the kiss. When you two separated your breathing was harsh. 

“Wow, that was amazing,” Steve was breathless, looking no where else except your face. “God you’re beautiful.”

You looked away bashful, “even with this ugly bruise?”

Steve kissed you again, “nothing could ever make you any less beautiful.”

You, still sitting on his lap, wrapped your arms around his shoulders, “you don’t know how long I wanted to do that.”

Steve kissed your bruise, or more like the frozen bag, “I’m so glad you did, I’ve wanted to be with you ever since I saw you.”

You two missed classes that day and he told you to stay at his house for a little bit until you’re ready to face Billy again. You were now the king’s girlfriend but none of that mattered, all you cared about was Steve and your love for him. 

You two enjoyed chocolate pudding in that empty science room, talking about everything. You were finally happy and thankful for all that Steve had done for you. 

Tag list: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @andreaoreas, @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @fangirl-4-life415

wanna be tagged in my crap? comment!

[i-writing-is-hard-i]

Blood Traitor pt12

Summary:  You are Draco’s older sister.  A pureblood Witch, without the prejudice and anti-muggle beliefs of your family. Who just so happened to fall in love with none other than a blood traitor, just to complicate matters more Voldemort has returned.  What will you do?

okay, I suck at writing descriptions,

[Disclaimer] Mentions of sex, violence, and hints of torture, I may have screwed up the timeline somewhere along the way, and no one dies, because, thats sad

[Begining]  - [Previous] - [Next]

Part: 12

Your first mission was that night, so Sirius had suggested relaxing, maybe get some more sleep and something hearty to eat before you left.  You agreed, heading up to your room to read.  Your nerves were distracting you, it wasn’t like you were experienced with this sort of thing, and you only really knew the most basic of defensive spells.  You did have a great memory though, so at least you shouldn’t forget anything ‘Right?’ part of you also feared you would be too tired.  

Your mission was to head to ‘suspected ally of Voldemort, the order knew he was an ally, apparently, there were quite a few wizards and witches entering and leaving the place, but nothing could be done about it, they weren’t actually breaking any lays.

When it was time to sleep you were wide awake.  You just couldn’t sleep, a mixture of nerves and just genuinely not being tired.  You continued to try though.  Eventually, you got up, changing into something more suitable, then headed to the kitchen to make something to eat, asking Sirius if he wanted anything.  He agreed, joining you for dinner.  Sirius must have noticed your worried expression.

“You will be fine” his tone was like normal, gruff and a bit harsh.

“Yeah, I will be” you returned, Sirius continued trying to ease your mind right up until you left.  

You knew you had to fly most of the way, but you were able to get pretty close with magic.  The house wasn’t hard to find, it was very large and magnificent.  Kind of like the Malfoy Manor, sure enough, there was a meeting being held, those who attended were mostly lower ranked people, things, and whatnot, but knowing their plans was important nonetheless.

After the meeting when everyone went their separate ways you decided to hang around for a bit longer, just in case, but nothing happened.  So when the coast was clear you made your way to an Auror, who had a meeting spot set up for just the two of you.  You shared everything you witnessed before making your way back to Grimmauld place.

This repeated, every time the order got a tip-off, that there was a meeting so far, unfortunately, the information was pretty minor, nothing that would involve Voldemort himself.  A few months had passed of the same old thing, at one point a week would pass before your next mission, but they were getting more and more dangerous, most of the plans involved attacks, or threats, you had managed to prevent a few deaths.

George made sure to visit you every two days it not more, sometimes he would stay over if he could.  Every time he would make it clear, how much he hated you doing this,  every time you had to reassure him that it was for the best, that you are and will continue to be okay.   It had been a quiet period, over a month of nothing, the order knew of a few potential attacks, but no meetings.  You were currently sitting in your room, reading your most recent novel.  You had debated with yourself, whether or not to get a job, maybe higher education.  You had considered being a teacher, as cursed as the DADA position seemed to be, that was that you wanted to teach.

Remus and Tonks both agreed you having a job would be inconvenient if you were needed, but you felt guilty, Sirius was supporting you financially.  He would repeatedly say it was actually his mother supporting you both, that brought him joy.  Probably because you were now both blood traitors.  As you started reading the third chapter in, the door suddenly flew open, it was George.  You jumped, almost dropping your book.  

“What are you doing here?” you asked still calming your heart, but happy nonetheless.

“Well, I thought I would take the day off and spend it with my beautiful girlfriend” George bounced on the bed beside you.

“Beautiful huh” you blushed.  George gave you a quick kiss on your cheek.

“Very Beautiful actually” George clarified.  The blush on your face deepened.

“So what did you have in mind?” You asked.

“Diagonally?” George suggested.

Thinking about it, this would be the first time the two of you went out in public.

“Okay, sure, I just need to get changed” you agreed, jumping up off the bed faffing about your room, getting ready.  The whole time George watched you in awe, as you moved around.

“Why are you staring at me Weasley” you turned round in the middle of trying up your boot.

“I was just thinking how lucky I am” he replied simply.

You were blushing again.  George was being very sweet today, not that he wasn’t sweet normally.  After you were ready you stood back up.

“Ready?” you asked.  George jumped up pulling you against him, he gave you a long meaningful kiss.

“Shall we” he held out his hand for you, which you took.

“Can’t we visit your shop, I haven’t been there yet?” you asked George nodded smiling.

The first place George took you was the bookshop, where he insisted you picked out a new book.  He then took you to the sweet shop buying your favourite things.  Followed by a nice lunch.  You had protested a few times about him buying you all this, but he kept on insisting.  You made the point, of stopping at a small, shop, it was nearing August which meant it was Ginny’s birthday, you wanted to buy the bear that you use for your woman problems.  After that, you headed to George’s shop.  Fred was prancing about showing off their products.  You felt a little proud of him and his brother.  This place was amazing and just how George had always envisioned it.  After having a look around, George brought you up to his apartment.  He showed you around quickly before you both sat on the sofa, talking and laughing as usual.  When he suddenly jumped up.

“I will be right back” he noted leaving you there.  You had another glance around the room,it was so very much the twins home, it made you smile.  

George returned holding a little box, he handed to you, before sitting back down.

“What is it?” you asked

“Open it and find out” You eyed him suspiciously, thinking it might be a joke, but when he gave you an encouraging smile, you pulled off the lid.  Inside was a little vial on a chain.  Inside was a mother of pearl coloured liquid.

“Open it” George watched you,

“Amortentia,” you asked looking up to him, you could tell by the smell, it was of George.

“Yeah, I, uh, yeah, well you don’t have to wear it or anything” George stumbled over his words you looked back down to the vial, placing the lid back on, you wrapped the chain around, letting George fasten it on.

When you turned around, you pressed your lips to his.

“Thank you, I love it” you snuggled up into his side.

“Really?” George asked, still unsure of himself.

“Yes, I feel guilty for not getting you anything” you looked up to him

“Don’t worry about that, I just wanted to treat you, you’ve been working hard, and I can see its not always easy on you” George kissed your nose.

“Thank you” you leaned up kissing his jawline.

The two of you sat there for a while just in silence, it was really nice, you could have stayed here forever, but you had to get back to Grimmauld place soon enough, George insisted on escorting you back.  You had dinner with Sirius, who asked you about your day.  You knew he was lonely here, but he was no longer a criminal, but it was still not safe.  Then there was the fact that he didn’t want to draw attention to Grimmauld Place too.

Since he had been ‘let out’ he was able to do more for the order, which seemed to make him happy.  You don’t mind spending time with him either.  He slowly started talking about this old life as a student.  Harry spent as time here too, however it was recommended that he lived with the Dursleys.  You felt sorry for him,  you were spending more time with his godfather than he was.  

You and Sirius stopped by the Weasleys when it was Ginny’s birthday.  You had wrapped up the parcel nicely like you had with the other siblings and handed it to her.  She looked genuinely happy with it.  Having kept forgetting to grab one herself.

Before long school had started.  Sirius escorted everyone to the train, you were to hide in Sirius pocket, as a hummingbird.  They suspected someone to be watching the students, you were to follow whoever that was.  Hoping it was someone you hadn’t seen before.  Sure enough, some of Voldemort’s followers showed up. Trying to hide their presence, but Sirius recognised them from the first round.

You snuck out, staying close as they wandered around London, they headed to Diagonally and wandered around there for a while, did they knew you were following them?, then the headed into a rather dodgy looked shop in on of the side streets.  You knew this street and it wasn’t somewhere you should go.  One of the men were talking about a family, whose name you didn’t recognised, but from what you heard he was an Auror,  who at the moment was against Voldemort, but they had plans to bring him to their side, and Voldemort had ways of making people do what he wants.   When they mentioned the Aurors children, you knew the method they were going to use, and they were heading shortly too.  You could have to tell someone quickly.

That was the most useful information you got from them.  You immediately made your way to Tonks who was waiting for your report.  You stumbled over your words, in an attempt to get it out quickly.  Somehow Tonks understood you and set off immediately.  Telling you to head back to Grimmauld place which you did.  You were in the kitchen, making some tea for the current house guests when George and Fred came bounding in.

“How was work today?” Molly asked.

“Pretty quiet today compared to normal” Fred answered.  George had walked over to you, still being shy with public affection, he simply gave you a nudge and a smile, then helped you hand out the cups.

“I guess its because all the kids are back to school” Arthur muttered while checking out the paper in his hand.

“Yeah, we have quite a few mail orders to sort out” George continued.  He was playing with your hand under the table, so you decided to play thumb wars, you knew he let you win

The Weasleys stayed for dinner after the meeting which Tonk’s hadn’t attended, she was still dealing with the Auror.  She arrived after dinner with good news.  They had found them in time, and have sent his family somewhere safe.  Apparently, he was pretty high up member, with a lot of influence.  Voldemort would have benefitted from having him under his thumb, but thanks to you, it worked out okay.

[bourbonboredom]

Bachelorette Party II

This was originally going to be a one shot, then I realized I’m basically incapable of keeping things brief.

A ClydexReader fanfic

Part I  Part II   Part III

Summary: You’re back in Boone County for the first time in seven years. Your best friend from high school is getting married and you wouldn’t miss it for the world. On her last night of freedom, the bachelorette drags her bridal party to Duck Tape as a final stop on their bar crawl. It’s under the dimmed lights that you see your high school friend/high school crush, Clyde Logan. Is it fate? Or is your friend just trying to set you up?

Word Count: 3,204

Warnings: drinking, cursing

@a-whole-damn-sackler​ @sadsexvibes @ladygrey03​ 

You spent the next thirty minutes stealing glances at Clyde. You tried to be present at the table and be apart of the bachelorette activities but you were having trouble focusing. Sarah hip-checked you out of one of your space-outs and motioned to the tray of empty shot glasses in front of them.

“Hey can you grab us another round?” she asked.

“Are you making me get it on purpose?” you ask back. You were aware of her intentions now, and were a little more cautious.

“Absolutely,” she said, “You keep lookin’ that way, you might as well go over there,”

You shot her a look, but you knew you’d been caught. She gave you a look back, and you knew she wasn’t gonna let you go on this one. You flipped her off as you walked away, making her and the other girls laugh behind you.

You approached the bar slowly, the deafening music proving no match for the sound of your heart beating in your ears. This was stupid, why were you acting like this? It’s just Clyde. He’s the same kid who had you pull a crawfish off his nose when he held it too close to his face and it pinched him. He’s a dumb boy who you had a dumb crush on. This was fine, you were fine. Just be cool.

You walked to where you stood before, feeling a little more put-together. Jimmy was still sitting on his stool, nursing a new beer. Clyde stood behind the bar chatting with him. They both looked up as you drew near, Jimmy smiled and Clyde’s face was, well, unreadable.

“Back so soon?” Jimmy asked.

“Sarah sent me up for another round, whiskey this time,”

“On it, I’ll be back in a sec,” Clyde said as he went to retrieve a bottle of Jack Daniels.

“He hasn’t been able to stop looking at you all night,” Jimmy leaned over to whisper in your ear. “He’s havin’ a hard time bartendin’, I watched him almost flood the counter with seltzer a minute ago,”

“You’re an awful brother,” you roll your eyes. He just laughed.

“Am I? Would an awful brother tell you he had the biggest damn crush on you in high school?”

Your eyebrows shot up and he took your stunned silence as a signal to keep talking.

“I spent years trying to get him to ask you out. He never did it obviously, he’s too stubborn for his own damn good,”

“You’re crazy,” Jimmy had to be wrong. Clyde never did anything to indicate he liked you.

“He’d kill me if he knew I told you but he has a stack of letters he wanted to send to you when he was serving but never got up the nerve to actually do it. I found them in his pack when he came home,”

This was all too much. This couldn’t be true. But before you had the chance to ask him anything else Clyde was back with a new bottle of whiskey.

“Jimmy what’re you tellin’ her,” his look was dangerous, not that his brother seemed to care.

“Were just catchin’ up, you worry too much Clyde. I gotta head out actually, gotta pick up Sadie in the mornin’,” he said his goodbyes and patted his brothers arm as he got up.

His metal arm.

You can’t believe you didn’t notice until now, it’s kind of hard to miss.

“Clyde, your arm,” you said softly.

“It’s nothin’,” he said, pouring the shots. He worked with his good arm, trying to keep the robotic hand out of view.

“That don’t look like nothin’,” you noted. “Was this overseas? How long ago did it happen?”

“About five years ago now, right as I was gettin’ out of my last tour. They did a trans-radial amputation. This prosthetic is newer. I had a standard plastic one, but was lucky enough to be upgraded to this one. It can grab on to stuff, so it’s closer to havin’ my hand back. I got it probably a year and a few months ago,”

You felt a wave of shame wash over you. How could you not know about this? Sure, you fell out of touch but this was literally life-changing. Your friend lost his arm and you were so busy doing whatever that you didn’t even know. Nothing in college or at work could have trumped this, you felt like you let him down.

“I’m so sorry Clyde, that must have been so painful to go through,” his eyes caught yours as you spoke, flitting away a moment later to focus on the bottle of Jack. “I should have been there for you,”

“It wasn’t your fault. And you were busy with school, I wasn’t gonna bother you. It did hurt but I’m better now. The doctor’s said I healed near perfect and I got this fancy arm,”

“I would have dropped everything to come see you if I knew,”

“I know, that’s why I didn’t tell you. You got out of this town, I wasn’t gonna have you comin’ back on account of me gettin’ hurt,”

You looked at him, at a loss for words. He purposely didn’t tell you because he knew you, and how you’d react. Part of you wanted to be mad, but the other part understood. You were overwhelmed with emotion. You wanted the counter separating the two of you to disappear so you could hold him close. You settled on reaching across the bar to hold his good hand in yours. He looked taken aback at first, but gave you a gentle squeeze when he saw the look in your eye.

“Don’t be worryin’ about me, you’re supposed to be partyin’ tonight,”

“I’d rather talk to you,” the words came out of your mouth before you could stop them.

“Go, we’ll catch up later,” he gave a small smile that made your heart skip a beat.

You took the tray of shots and headed back to your table. Except it was empty now. You looked around for Sarah and the rest of the bridal party, but they were nowhere to be found. Still carrying the tray of shots, you headed outside to call her. It was colder now and you crossed your arms across your body in an attempt to keep warm.

She picked up on the third ring and you immediately heard a chorus of laughter in the background.

“Hey girl!” her voice came.

“Sarah, where did y’all go I can’t find anyone at the bar,”

“Oh sweetheart I’m so sorry! A few of the girls got real sick and we had to take ��em home right away! And you were talkin’ to Clyde and I didn’t want to disturb you because you looked so happy!” your stomach formed a huge knot. This was the damn country, there weren’t any ubers or taxis around and Sarah’s parent’s house was a few exits down the highway. It was much too far to walk back.

“So whats the plan then?” you tried not to grit your teeth as you spoke.

“Well, my sister and law and I and come back and get you but it might be a bit. One of the girls threw up in the car and we wanna get it out as fast as possible. You could ask Clyde for a ride home, maybe? I don’t think he could say no to you,”

Ah, there it was. This was probably not an accident. Sarah liked to try to set you up. You thought it was just her taking you here but you realized she’d planned a little further than that.

“Oh! And I left my card at the bar, can you close my tab and stuff?”

You stop for a beat and smile to yourself. You had your own plan now. If she was gonna play this game with you, you were gonna change a few of the rules.

“Sure thing babe, I’ll ask if Clyde can help me out, I’ll be home soon hopefully,” your tone dripped like honey, a rare occasion for you. Sarah was too drunk to notice though and just said her goodbyes.

You hung up and let out a loud sigh. It was almost three in the morning now, way too late for this shit. Way too early too. You headed back into the bar and back over to Clyde. Duck Tape was rather empty at this point, the crowded dance floor had cleared out and your friend was closing out the last few tabs for the night.

“Hey, didya find your friends?” he asked.

“They had to run home for an emergency, so I’m kinda stuck here for a bit,” she settled on telling half of the truth.

“Do you need a ride? I’m pretty much done here, I can take you home if you want,”

“Thats sweet of you, I’d appreciate that. But no need to rush, I don’t want to keep you from your job,”

He stepped away from the cash register and put both arms on the bar counter on either side of yours. He towered over you, his long locks threatening to fall in his face as he spoke softly.

“Darlin’, I’m the owner. I can do whatever I want,” he said as he stared into your eyes with a small smile.

You knew he didn’t mean it like that, but fuck you felt heat pool in your stomach with those words. He’d never called you by a pet name before. You didn’t know if that was something he just said when talking to girls, or if it was just for you but you wanted to be the only girl he’d call darlin’ ever again. You mustered a nod in response and sat on a stool to wait.

“Sarah, um, left her card here. She wanted me to close out her tab,” you mentioned.

“Sure thing, I kept the card but I wasn’t gonna charge her for anything,” he passed the plastic your way. Before he could turn around, you tapped his shoulder with it.

“Actually,” you started. “She said I could get myself something for the trouble. Would you wanna stop by the Exxon station and get some junk food? For old times’ sake?”

He smiled for the second time that night, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Only if we can get Slushies,”

—————————

The two of you practically bought out the gas station using Sarah’s card.  M&Ms, chips, twinkies, cookies, candy bars, and of course, slushies. You don’t remember when it started, but buying gas station junk food was kind of a thing between you and Clyde. When one of you was having a bad day, you’d both go to the Exxon by the high school and buy as much crap as possible. Slushies were always a must, no matter the weather. Red for you and blue for him.

Since there wasn’t anywhere for you to sit at the gas station except the pavement, you’d accepted his invitation of going to his trailer. He’d noticed you were starting to shiver as you walked through the store and he offered you his coat that he kept in the back seat.

You sat in the passenger seat of his car as you drove down the highway. You were the only car on the road, something Clyde told you he was used to. He worked weird hours because of the bar, and was fine staying up with you. You snuggled further into his coat as you listened to him talk. It was much too large for you, but you didn’t mind. It was warm and smelled like him. 

His trailer was just off a main road, tucked in the trees. He told you about how he lived with Jimmy for a while after he and Bobbi Jo divorced and after Clyde’s medical discharge. They never really said it out loud, but they needed each other back then. Now, Jimmy moved to be closer to his daughter and he’s been seeing this girl so he’s all set. And Clyde has the bar, and he’s saved up “a lil bit of cash” so he figured he should get his own place. It looked modest enough from the outside, just a standard trailer.

When he took you inside though, it was a far cry from anything she’d seen in Boone County before. It was clearly new, with no wear and tear in sight. It had a decent sized kitchen, with an even bigger living area. A tv was mounted on the wall in between two large built-in bookcases that were filled with books.

He always did like his books, you thought.

You could only imagine what the rest of the place looked like. You were kind of surprised he could afford this, the bar must be doing really well.

“This place is gorgeous,” you tell him, “did you decorate this yourself?”

“Mellie helped a lot, she’s better with that stuff than I am. I chose the bookshelf though, wanted to have a place to put everything,” He stood next to you, watching you look around.

“Well it looks great, I bet girls love coming over here,” your cheeks heated as you realize what you had just said to him, you turned away to focus on drinking your slushie, trying to use the cheery-flavored ice to cool down.

You didn’t notice as a blush spread across his cheeks. He was thankful for the hair covering his ears because he could feel them burning.

“I don’t get too many girls coming here. Or any, really,” he said.

“I find that very hard to believe,” you tease him. Your mouth was clearly on auto pilot and you decided to just roll with it. “A handsome guy like you? You mean picking up women at the bar is harder when you’re the owner?”

“I don’t know about all that,” his face was getting pink.

“About what?”

“Bein’ handsome. That’s not somethin’ people really think,”

“They’re idiots then,” you say, meeting his gaze. He gave a half-smile, cheeks getting a little pinker.

“Come on, lets sit down and eat all this junk,” Clyde said. You knew he was just changing the subject but you didn’t mind much. He’d always been bad at accepting compliments.

You sat down a respectable distance away and poured out the contents of the gas station bag on the table. You grabbed a pack of m&m’s while he grabbed a Twinkie and you sat in silence for a moment, reminiscing.

“So what’re you up to these days?” He finally asked.

“Nothing exciting really, I got a job in my field of study and have been working there for about four years now. I’m up north now, not too far from where I went to college,”

“That’s nice, I’m glad you’re doin’ well,” he paused for a moment, clearing his throat. “Are you seein’ anyone?”

“Not at the moment no. My last relationship was kinda... intense so I’ve been taking it too slow,” you explain.

“Intense?”

“Well, there was talk of marriage and I thought I wanted that at first, but the person I was seeing was pressuring me and I wasn’t really comfortable with it. And then i found out they were cheating on me and it kinda fell apart from there,” you tried to drown the bitter taste in your mouth with more chocolate, it was kinda working.

“You got cheated on?”

“Yeah, it’s shitty, but at least I didn’t marry them. I got out while it was still relatively easy to. It’s harder once there’s a ring and a wedding involved.”

“I suppose so, and I’m glad you aren’t with them. They don’t deserve you,”

“Thanks,” you mumble, cheeks heating. “I think being at Sarah’s wedding is helping me not be so bitter about it all, her and her fiancé really love each other,”

“That’s good to hear. It’s a shame she had to run off like that, I hope those girls are feelin’ better,”

“Actually,” you press your fingers to your temple, in disbelief that you’re actually going to tell him her plan. “I kinda think she did it on purpose,”

“She’d leave you behind on purpose?” he asked, clearly confused.

“I think she’s got bride brain, she’s too obsessed with love right now. It’s embarrassing...” you start, figuring out if you really wanted to tell him this. “...but I had a crush on you in high school. And I think she thought it’d be a good idea to try and set me up with you because of it,”

He was silent, brow furrowed as he studied you. You didn’t know whether to look at him or not, your gaze flicked between your lap and his face. Suddenly you weren’t so sure of what Jimmy had told you. Maybe he’d just been pulling your leg. Maybe he didn’t really feel the same way and this was all a cruel joke.

“I–it’s stupid, I know. That was like ten years ago, it’s not really helpful to tell you now and Sarah’s clearly out of her damn mind and–”

“I had a crush on you too,” he rushed to say.

Your eyes shot to his. He was picking at the slushie cup in his grip.

“I didn’t know you felt the same, I thought you just wanted to be friends so I never brought it up. And then when i went to the army and you kept sending me letters about how much you missed me and I thought maybe I had a chance.

"I was gonna tell you. I wrote letters where I was gonna tell you when I was afraid I might not make it back. But I never got up the nerve to send them. And when you came and visited me between tours, you were seeing someone else. I didn’t want to come between you. So I stopped writing as much,”

You had no idea he felt that way.

“I wanted to be with you,” you said quietly. He almost missed it. So you spoke again, louder. “They didn’t mean anything, i broke up with them as soon as we got back to school. I— thought I was over you but then hanging out with you that week just brought everything back. I wanted to be with you, Clyde,”

“And now?” he asked, his tone almost ghostly.

“Now…” you swallowed, his dark eyes felt like they were going to swallow you whole as he waited for your answer. “I walked into that bar tonight, saw you, and knew nothing had changed for me—”

His lips were on yours in an instant. You were shocked at first, barely registering what happened. This was something you’d only dreamt of, and now here he was, kissing you like you were the only thing that mattered in the world. Your hands tangled tentatively in his dark curls, something you’d been longing to touch all night. He leaned into your touch, deepening the kiss. He broke it when he needed air, chest rising and falling lightly as he looked at you.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since I was 16,” he said.

“I’ve been wanting you to do that since I was 16,” you smiled, pulling him back in.

[svtmatokis]

Maid of Honor Part 5

Hi!! I am soooo sorry I’ve been MIA as of late, if you guys saw my last post, I was having post length restrictions cause of the app and I didn’t have the laptop all last week (plus I hit my limit on life yesterday and had to take a mental breather...thank you @hypergalaxy for keeping my sane <3) 

Anywho...I hope you guys enjoy this next part and as always, feel free to request or just pop by to say hi :)

Parts: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 5.2

Genre: ANGST - I cried writing this

Pairing: Wonwoo x Reader

Words: 4314

Yerin walked up to the group from her table with a big grin on her face.  “Did you decide to ditch your friend and have drinks with us? We have a table over there, if you want to join us.” A thought struck her, “Or maybe we could move here, I’d love to get to know your friends.”

Wonwoo chuckled nervously as the group turned to look at him everyone but Mingyu; who was glaring a hole into the side of his head, wondered who the girl was. “Ah, ani...she wasn’t feeling well and went home after dinner. So I decided to meet my friends for a quick drink before going home.”

Ye-rin pouted and Mingyu’s glare on Wonwoo intensified. He knew the whole history between the two and how Ye-rin was one of the few girls who Wonwoo actually liked but the only issue was that Ye-rin couldn’t stay with one guy. Wonwoo had caught her on multiple occasions with other men which was why he never made it official with her but she always called him to tell him that she missed him and wished that they had become more than friends before he left.

“You should’ve caught up with us then if that was the case. We would’ve waited for you. I’ll go get my friends and we’ll pull up some chairs okay?” She said excitedly without even asking the rest of the group if it was okay to join them or not.

Jihoon’s nose scrunched as he looked between Ye-rin and Wonwoo and knew instantly something was up. Pushing his chair back, he stood up announcing his departure.

“Already? You only had one drink!” Soonyoung whined not ready for Jihoon to leave yet.

“Does that mean you’re going back to your place tonight?” Chan asked.

“Ani, I’m going back to Y/N’s. I forgot that she and I have an early morning tomorrow.” He said the last part while making eye contact with Wonwoo before shooting Seungcheol a pointed look, “And did you forget that you volunteered to drive”

A grin appeared on Seungcheol’s face as he processed Jihoon’s words, “That’s right...it’s tomorrow.”

“What’s tomorrow?” Seungkwan asked.

“Biggest and last hike of the year before season ends” Seungcheol stated getting up, “I should get going too. Tell Y/N I’ll come get you guys at 5”

Jihoon nodded his head, “If Joshua’s already there, that means you just need to get Jisoo. I’ll see you guys later” he waved to the group and walked out not before glancing at Wonwoo and Ye-rin who was coming back.

Wonwoo stared at Jihoon’s figure as he disappeared, debating whether to follow him or not. Choosing the first option, he got up to follow Jihoon but was pulled in the opposite direction towards the back exit by Mingyu. Leaving everyone confused.

“What the fuck happened tonight?” He asked leaning against the wall in the alley way behind the lounge, “And what did Ye-rin mean by ditch your friend? You ditched Y/N?”

“No! you know I would never do that!” Wonwoo argued and Mingyu looked at him, “You know how much I like her. She actually said she wasn’t feeling well. I offered to take her home but she left in a rush….” Wonwoo explained as Mingyu looked down at his phone, reading a text from Hye-mi.

His blood boiled reading the paragraph she sent him about what you told her and Joshua that night. IWhen he read the last part everything clicked in his head and he let out a roaring laugh,

Instead of saying anything, he showed him the text message and Wonwoo’s heart dropped as he read the text message.

“She saw…” he muttered

“Ye-rin fucking kissed you?” Mingyu growled, “What happened to, I’m done with her?”

“I am done with her! I didn’t think Y/N saw…” Wonwoo said looking down at his hands as he balled them into fists and suddenly something didn’t click.

“Wait a minute, why are you defending Y/N? I thought we were best friends, why are you taking her side!?” He growled, this whole entire time instead of asking what happened, Mingyu was getting angry at him for what he assumed and  read in the text message.

“Because, Y/N doesn’t deserve to go through the shit she went through again.” Mingyu let out a frustrated breath, “I’m going to tell you this once and once only because I know that you actually care about her.  Y/N has been cheated on so many times,  that up until you, she gave up on love. THATS the reason why she doesn’t date. She’s been screwed over so many times that she feels the only thing she has for her is her work.”

Wonwoo looked at the ground, his whole body felt numb in defeat and it wasn’t from the alcohol. Now he understood why you left in a hurry.

“Don’t try to talk to her right away. She’s needs to calm down and unfortunately…” he paused and cursed, “shit Jihoon.”

Wonwoo turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

“What about Jihoon?” Wonwoo asked as Mingyu shook his head.

“Jihoon isn’t going to let you talk to her” Mingyu stated, “knowing that Hye-mi and Joshua are at her place is one thing. But when he finds out that the reason she’s upset is because of you… he isn’t even going to let you in anywhere near her.”

The history behind you and Jihoon was interesting cause the two of you weren’t best friends but had a mutual understanding with one another. Jihoon had actually witnessed one of your bad dates where the guy spilt red wine all over your dress for some stupid reason and proceeded to make comments about your weight before Jihoon came over and proceeded to shoot the guy down with his blunt comments on how he should treat women before sending him home with a black eye. Well, that’s the story Mingyu and all your friends knew about anyways.

Since then, Jihoon became protective over you and the rest of the girls though he had a soft spot for you since you let him stay at your apartment.

“I need to go…” Wonwoo said as Mingyu shook his head.

“Not a good idea, Jihoon isn’t going to let you in” Mingyu stated.

“I can only try right?” Wonwoo asked as the two walked back into the lounge and noted that Ye-rins group was now sitting at the big table with the remainder of the guys.

Jeonghan was the first to notice the two and quickly walked over to them,  a glare evident on his face.

“Jeon Wonwoo, are you fucking kidding me? You said you and Y/N had a date tonight and now a girl is suddenly showing up claiming she’s your girlfriend….” Jeonghan rambled as Mingyu and Wonwoo shared a look.

“Shit” wonwoo muttered. This was getting messier than he wanted it to be.

“I. Need. To. Go.” He said walking back to the table only to be met with uneasy looks and glare from the guys while Ye-Rin called Wonwoo over. Wonwoo knew he was in trouble but his mind was only on talking to you which set it in autopilot.

“I’ll see you guys next time. I have to go deal with something…” Wonwoo said hurriedly as he grabbed his jacket and left the lounge, making a beeline for your apartment.

Ye-rin looked at Wonwoo as he exited the lounge, a look of confusion and pout on his face.

Mingyu who was trying to calm Jeonghan down watched Wonwoo practically run out the door and smiled to himself but couldn’t help but feel worried for his friend.

“She’s a snake.” Mingyu said to Jeonghan and explained who Ye-rin was and where Wonwoo was headed.

“He’s going to have to go through Joshua” Jeonghan stated.

“He’s going to have to go through Jihoon…” Mingyu added as Jeonghan bowed his head in a silent prayer.

Wonwoo managed to get to your apartment within fifteen minutes and the first thing he did was ring your door bell.

He wasn’t surprised to see Jihoon answer the door with a blank look on his face before he proceeded to slam the door in his face.

“Oh come on Jihoon” Wonwoo cried ringing the doorbell again.

“She’s sleeping. We have to wake up in five hours. Go back to the girl at the bar.” the voice through the door said in a final tone and things went quiet.

Wonwoo could only sigh as he leaned on the door in defeat. Were you that special to his friends that they would do anything they could to protect you? Nothing made sense to him. He thought things were going well and had been genuinely concerned when you said you weren’t feeling well.

He knew he was stupid when he decided to play off the kiss on the cheek. Why had he even allowed Ye-rin to kiss his cheek anyways? Wonwoo felt disgusted.He wanted to talk to you but he knew how Jihoon could be when he got fed-up. Last time, Mingyu ended up with a black eye.

From the other side, Jihoon watched his friend through the peephole before letting out a deep sigh.

��I trusted him.” He muttered shaking his head.

“It’s probably a misunderstanding.” Joshua tried to reason from behind him.

Jihoon turned to look at your sleeping figure wrapped in a blanket with your head on Joshua’s lap, the marking of tears proved as evidence that you cried hard in that short time.

Letting out another sigh, Jihoon looked at Hye-mi who had just gotten off the phone with Mingyu. The two made eye contact and nodded and looked at you.

“Take care of her.” She whispered said to Joshua and Jihoon, “Gyu and I will take care of Wonwoo.”

Joshua and Jihoon nodded at her before the three said their farewells.

Wonwoo, who was still leaning on your door, almost fell backwards when it opened and that little piece of hope inside him bubbled that Jihoon changed his mind or even Joshua talking to Jihoon to change his mind.

He couldn’t help but feel aa bit disappointed when Hye-mi stepped out looking at him with a look of empathy.

“Hye-mi-“ Wonwoo stood up as Hye-mi shook her head.

“Can you at least let me see her?” He tried.

“She cried herself to sleep.” Hye-mi stated which didn’t make Wonwoo feel any better.  “Let her rest this weekend and maybe try to talk to her next week.” She advised, “Plus Jihoon and Joshua are with her now, she’ll be fine in no time.”

Wonwoo didn’t like that it was Jihoon and Joshua taking care of you instead of him. He didn’t like that he was the cause of your pain but Hye-mi was right. If you weren’t ready to talk to him, then you would talk to him when you were ready.

Wonwoo only let out a sad sigh making Hye-mi give him a short hug.

“Come on, Mingyu’s downstairs. We’ll give you a ride home.”

Nodding his head solemnly, Wonwoo followed Hye-mi. Not before looking back at your door one last time.

The next day, Wonwoo, Jeonghan, Dino, Hye-mi, Minghao, Jennie and Mingyu were having lunch.  He had not heard from you, Jihoon or Joshua for that matter and he thought that for now it was for the best.

Mingyu, with the help of Hye-mi explained to him last night certain traits of yours and found out that once you cleared your head, you were fine. He’d let you sort your thoughts out and then try to talk to you again later.

“Do you know where Y/N and them are now?” Dino asked Hye-mi who was looking at the photos you were sending her from your hike with Jisoo and the boys.

“From her last picture, it looks like they’re almost at the peak? Here hun, this is for you.” She showed Mingyu the photo before showing the group of Seungcheol holding Jihoon off a cliff which was clearly a high rock with Joshua going ‘O-M-G’ under it.

“Now all he has to do is let go” Mingyu stated taking a bite of his breakfast.

Wonwoo looked through the photos you were sending to Hye-mi and it looked like you were having a lot of fun. There were photos of you and Jisoo posing, selfies of you and the various others. He laughed at the one where you were posing in front of a rock and Joshua was using your two pigtails behind you as a moustache.

As lunch progressed, he started getting a better feeling that things were going to be better once you got back. Everyone was giving him advice in regards of what to do with you. After hearing him out at. Mingyu’s place the night before, most of them agreed to help him out while others decided to stay out of it out of respect for you.

After lunch, everyone decided to spend the day at Mingyu and Hye-mis and let those who weren’t present know so they could come if they wanted to.

Towards the late afternoon, Vernon and Hye-mi’s phone rang at the same time, both saying Joshua or Jisoo’s name.

Wonwoo felt an uneasy feeling come over him as he watched both of their faces pale and Hye-mi’s phone drop from her hand before she crumbled on the floor with silent tears shocking everyone around her as Vernon just held his phone to his ear but it was clear he was no longer listening to what Joshua was saying over the line.

”NOOOO!” Hye-mi cried making everyone crowd around her.

Mingyu who was the first to his fiancé picked up her phone and handed it to Wonwoo while he consoled his fiancé, all the while wondering what was going on.

“Jisoo?” He said into the receiver but all he could hear was her screaming and crying.

“JISOO!” He yelled and he heard Joshua mumbling to Vernon on the other side.

“What’s happening?” Jeonghan asked swiping the phone away from Vernon.

“Joshua, what the heck is going on?” He cried frustrated into the phone.

Jeonghan’s face dropped as Joshua explained to him the best he could what had happened without losing it.

Wonwoo looked at Jeonghan, Hye-mi’s phone still in his hand.

“Hello?” A panicked voice was now heard through he line making Wonwoo respond instantly.

“Hyung?” Wonwoo said into the receiver though all he could hear was Jisoo crying in the background.

“Wonwoo?” Seungcheol said from the other side.

“Neh. What’s going on? Hye-mi, Vernon and Jeonghan have all gone mute.” Wonwoo said as he heard Seungcheol swallow hard. Putting the phone on speaker, everyone crowded around to listen.

“Y/N and Jihoon got into an accident” Seungcheol stated. “They’re being airlifted to the hospital… J-Joshua went with them.  Jisoo and I are on our way now. You guys have to meet us there.”

Wonwoo had no idea how many speed limits he broke to get to the hospital but all he knew was that you were hurt and he needed to be there regardless if you talking to him or not. H

When he and the rest of the group walked into the waiting room, Seungcheol and Jisoo were sitting on the chairs, Seungcheol comforting a crying Jisoo while Joshua spoke with the nurses.

“Hyung”. Mingyu said as they approached.

Seungcheol looked up at him with tears streaming down his face.

“What happened?” Jeonghan asked the question on everyone’s minds. The girls huddled together, comforting one another while the boys surrounded them waiting for Seungcheol’s response.

“S-She lost her footing on our way down...Jihoon was the closest to her and was able to hold her but wasn’t enough to steady her. They both rolled down a few meters but the ground they were on was unstable...Jihoon tried…” Seungcheol’s voice was about to break and everyone knew it.

”Jihoon tried to move her to the side where the ground was more stable but he lost his grip and..” gasps were heard around the group as the girls hugged each other closer crying for their friend.

“Where are they now?” Jeonghan asked.

“Y/N’s undergoing emergency surgery and I was just notified that Jihoon’s surgery is over and that he’s being moved to a room now..” Joshua said walking up to the group, his eyes just as red but he had to compose himself.

He had been here the whole time since you and Jihoon arrived. He took it upon himself to sort out the necessary paperwork and told the doctors that they had to do whatever it took to save you and Jihoon. He saw the whole thing from where you slipped to the point where Jihoon unintentionally lost his grip. His hand slipped from your wrist and you had fallen a few meters. Joshua had a hard time erasing the look on Jihoon’s face and knew his friend would be blame himself if you didn’t make it.

Everyone sat in the waiting room, waiting for more news on you as some people went to see Jihoon in his room. Joshua was making the necessary calls to work explaining the situation as well as contacting your parents.

Wonwoo sat numbly in the chair, the girls had gone for a walk, deciding to stick together leaving him, Vernon, Seungcheol, Mingyu, Joshua and Jeonghan sitting in silence. You had to be okay. Things couldn’t end the way they did, he had to tell you that everything was a misunderstanding and that you were the person he cared for.

A few hours later, a doctor walked out in his scrubs and Wonwoo instantly knew it was your doctor.

“Are you here for Y/N?” He asked as the boys nodded .

“How is she?” Wonwoo asked being the first to stand.

The doctor sighed,  “She has three broken ribs, a bit of internal bleeding, a broken arm and leg that we’ve realigned and some head trauma. Her body has gone through a lot over these last few hours, especially from the hike so its up to her on when she wakes up. We’ve moved her to the ICU, one person can stay overnight with her. Just let the nurse know who so she’s can give them a pass.” He bowed to the group before taking his leave.

A few minutes later, everyone else, including Jihoon was notified of your status. Jihoon couldn’t hold in his sobs when Joshua told him of your condition and everyone’s heart broke. Wonwoo looked at Jihoon who was being comforted by Minghao and Jun before stepping out and making his way to your room where Mingyu and Hye-mi were.

He peeked into your room and his heart broke at the sight of you. You looked so fragile and broken with all the bandages wrapped around various parts of your body including your head.

Hesitantly, he took a seat next to your bed and gently took your small hand in his. It felt so cold compared to what he was used to. He looked back at the last few weeks, including the week you spent on Jeju with everyone and thought about how lively you were compared to yesterday and it was all his fault. Joshua had told him earlier on that you were initially going to invite him on the hike too but decided not to after the whole Ye-rin situation and now like Jihoon he blamed himself.

“She’ll be okay” Hye-mi said, “Y/N’s a fighter. She’ll be good as new in a few weeks.”

Wonwoo could only look at her with uncertainty but he hoped Hye-mi was right.

Three days passed and you had yet to wake up which worried the group but was constantly reassured by the staff at the hospital that your body was just healing and resting itself and that you would wake up when you were ready.

Joshua and Hye-mi alternated on staying with you over night while Wonwoo visited everyday and the rest of the group came when they could. Jihoon had finally been allowed to leave his hospital bed and was always at your side in a wheelchair. He suffered a deep cut on his head and had a broken wrist but that was about it for him. Though he acknowledged Wonwoo’s presence, he refused to say a word.

The two would sit in silence on either side of your bed. Every time Wonwoo tried to explain himself to Jihoon, he would just pretend he didn’t hear anything and continue whatever he was doing on his phone.

Joshua had taken full control of your workload which to his delight was light since your major project had finished the week before. The company was notified and was shocked to hear about the accident from Joshua. A few department managers that you were close with had come to visit, bringing various gifts from flowers to chocolates and get well soon cards. They advised Joshua that if he needed to take time off for whatever reason to let them know and that they’d take care of everything.

The girls took care of the things at your apartment, like tidying up and watering the plants and going as far as to resetting your whole house and restocking your fridge.

It was on day six that you woke up. Hye-mi and the girls were talking about her upcoming wedding when she expressed her worry about you not being able to make it and that was when your voice shocked everyone.

“Don’t worry Mi, I’ll make sure I’m good for your bachelorette” your voice was weak and dry but the fact that you were actually awake made all the girls cry tears of happiness. You were enveloped in gentle but firm hugs from each and everyone of them before Jisoo and Lisa left to get Jihoon who was undergoing some testing in his room.

You later found out that you were going to be stuck at the hospital for at least two weeks while your body healed much to your dismay.  After touching base with Joshua and the company who said that if you tried to contact them while you were healing that you’d be fired, you had forgotten what doing nothing felt like.

Jihoon was stuck in the hospital for a while because of a few broken bones was in a wheel chair by your bed side everyday keeping you company and apologizing.

One day, Wonwoo had gotten off work a bit earlier than usual and decided to try to talk to you. It had been a week since you woke up and you were progressing just fine and if nothing happened in the next week, you were good to go home.

Wonwoo and most of the group came to visit you and Jihoon after work almost everyday and they were all happy to see that you were healing just fine.

Hye-mi was especially excited to hear that you would be fine for the wedding in a few months.

Wonwoo couldn’t help but feel a part of him break everytime  you addressed him formally. Ever since your failed date and the accident, it was as if you had become strangers. You never spoke informally to him and would only answer questions he asked but never initiated conversation. He wanted to talk to you and explain the whole thing but there was one thing that got in the way. Jihoon.

After picking up a few snacks, he made his way to your hospital room hoping Jihoon wasn’t in there.

The relationship between the two had not improved at all and the two had yet to say a word to each other. Wonwoo couldn’t for the life of him figure out why Jihoon was so adamant on the silent treatment but upon opening your door, he heard a conversation between you and Jihoon that made his eyes widen and everything click in his head.

Jihoon sat next to your bed in a wheelchair like he always did. He would get up to stand once in a while with a crutch or sit on your bed, but for the most part, he stayed in the chair where he felt like he belonged.

“I’m so sorry..” Jihoon apologized for what it seemed like the tenth time that day.

“I told you Jihoon. The accident wasn’t your fault, I would have  fallen regardless if you were there or not.” You said calmly. You felt bad that Jihoon was blaming himself for the whole ordeal, it was your fault that you got lost in your thoughts about your situation with Wonwoo and landed you and Jihoon in the hospital for it.  

“No Y/N. Not that” Jihoon said almost exasperatedly, “I’m sorry about the situation with Wonwoo, if I didn’t tell you to go on that date with him, then you wouldn’t have gotten your heart hurt again. I wouldn’t have to see that look on your face….”

You let out a small breath, your chest hurting slightly as you inhaled again. “You know it wasn’t because of that….I told you, I’m used to it Jihoon. I have you, Joshua, the others…-“

“How can you say that to the person that hurt you last Y/N? How can you be so calm but even to this day I’m still living with the guilt-“ Jihoon started.

“I forgave you a long time ago Jihoon…” you stated sternly but Jihoon kept going.

“Then why can’t things be normal again? Why can’t they go back? I made a mistake Y/N, I promised you that I would protect you but I…”

“Jihoon” you leaned forward to hold his arm

“Y/N, how can you forgive and be close friends with the last person who cheated on you in your own apartment while you and Joshua Hyung went on a business trip?!” Jihoon broke.

:OOOOOOOO.

[iamsonyeondone]

heir! seventeen // yoon jeonghan

♥ fluffy!! and sum angst

♥ 2.1k words

♥ summary: being yoon jeonghan’s deskmate has its pros and cons but what happens when the cons outweigh nearly everything?

yoon jeonghan; the heir to a large conglomerate group and also one of THE most good-looking heirs in the entire of Pledis High

everyone likes to assume that he lives such a picture perfect life because, he looks perfect?? every moment of the day??

the students in his class even tried to take an unglam photo of him before whenever he takes his naps between classes, and all of them turn out so photogenic

even his group of friends advice them to give up because in all of their 7 years knowing him, there has never been a time when he looked remotely ugly

jeonghan will give them hell if they exposed him lmao

he actually does pretty well in school, rarely failing any of his exams or tests and most of the time, if he ever did, it was because he missed class for a photoshoot

other than that, he's practically a perfect dreamboat that everyone envies and swoons over because bOi if you dont have either one of these emotions around him, there's something wrong with you

and thats what your friends always tell you

"are you sure your heart doesnt flutter when you see him?"

"uhh hh no?? i mean, he's pretty but my heart doesn't skip a beat or anything,"

"sometimes i wonder why we're even friends,"

"hEY :(("

sO why weren't you attracted to this man who's been sculptured meticulously by the gods??? you don't know either lmao

you were more focused on becoming a good example to your little siblings so that when you take over your father's insurance company as the chairperson, you'd be more than prepared

and as the new semester began, you went to your first class in accounting and scrolled through your phone as you waited

students rushed in at the very last minute, some still sneaking a few bites for breakfast before your teacher walked in to begin roll call

"Jeonghan?? Yoon Jeonghan?"

" he went off for another photoshoot, sir" Joshua replied while your classmates began murmuring about who knows what

"I've already planned seating arrangements so please check it in front and go to your seats. we'll begin class in 5,"

and as you walk up to the front, everyone was murmuring as always but this time, their eyes bore holes through your soul

wtH is goinG On?? until you look towards the piece of paper and see none other than THE yoon jeonghan having a seat next to you

and his friend, Joshua, pats your back and youre just like????

"so you're his deskmate for this class? take care of him well, yeah?" Joshua flashes a friendly yet devious smile before everyone was shooed by the teacher to take their seats

and you swear to yourself because you can feel every pair of eyes in the room staring holes through your head

and you're just silently cursing because you didnt ask for this!! :((

and being the sweet deskmate that you were, you ensured jeonghan had his own set of notes prepared before you went to your next class

but even before you could step outside, you were dragged back into the room, a group of girls hovering you with fire in their eyes

wtF??? is it what you think they're gonna do??? because you can merely pack a punch

and one of them steps up in front of you, a face that seemed familiar, and by the way the other girls stepped aside for her to 'shine' in front of you with her excessive jewellery, you just new she was the leader of a jeonghan cult

"let me say this just once, lay a finger on my hannie and i'll make sure your parent's business will be destroyed and unrepairable,"

she was hissing at you with her disgustingly pearly white teeth and her well-manicured nails digging through your cheeks

and you have to admit, this evil aura around this classmate of yours is really terrifying you

to the point where your knees were turning into jelly and that your fingers were desperately clinging onto the desk behind you to balance yourself

saved by the bell, she scoffed at you, swaying her hips as her minions followed her trail

and with a deep and shaky sigh, you gather your things for next period, which you would be inevitably late to

"there's always something wrong when you play with your food, (y/n). you always try to gorge it down even when you can't," your best friend, Kyulkyung, tilts her head as she sips on her drink

"It's nothing, really"

"the last time you said ‘it was nothing’ was when someone put bricks into your bag and stole all your notes. don't even try to 'it's nothing' us," as Minghao lays his tray on the table and takes a seat beside you

and then your walls start to collapse and tears threaten to spill

after taking a closer look at you, Minghao gasps in horror, grabbing your face gently towards him as he inspects the dents in your cheeks, flesh tearing

and Kyulkung and Minghao was ready to fight whoever did that to you, especially with how defeated and afraid you looked

"Don't. she's my classmate and her father is my parent's sponsor. If we do anything to hurt her, it's the end for me, for my family,"

and they understood your decisions

but that didn't mean that they wouldn't do anything about it

from that day onwards, they would always walk you to class, and wait outside your classroom whenever they ended – your safety being their top priority

and during this period of time, jeonghan notices

i mean,,, how could he not notice the way you passed him his set of notes you wrote for him that day so sneakily and the fact that you always try to avoid a n y of his questions

"hey (y/n), do you know-"

"sorry, i don't," you reply, whiLE you're doing the said question with much ease

and it feels like something is driving you away from this specific lesson, the only lesson you had with him

and he takes it as you're trying to avoid him

and he's been nothing but polite to you ever since he appeared for the next lesson after that photoshoot

and he's just so??? confused??

so on the next lesson when the teacher was about to wrap up, jeonghan was already packing his bag, ready to intercept

while your two best friends watched out for you outside the classroom

and just as the teacher announced that class was dismissed, jeonghan grabs you by the wrist and you tense up

to the point that you couldn't even react to the situation and simply just,, stood there

and you could feel the pairs of eyes in the room staring through you yet again and you just want to disappear, hoping if you closed your eyes tight enough that time would rewind

but that was impossible

"(y/n), I'm sorry if this is sudden but I just want to know if I did anything to piss you off,"

and with that little courage you had left, you looked around the room

a grave mistake

the one and only Miss Kim, the leader of the Jeonghan Cult, is staring right back at you, her arms folded while her lips formed into a tight-lipped frown

and you stiffen even more, jeonghan noticing the change in your behaviour as he connected the dots, glancing between you and her

without another word, you were dragged out by none other than jeonghan himself and for a second you almost trip from the anxiety and the nervousness bubbling inside you

and your best friends stood there in shock, jaws hitting the floor as their eyes followed your figure running down the hall with mr yoon

"do they think it's a damn kdrama?" Minghao muttered, in disbelief with the way that you guys were attracting attention from left and right

"oh shut up, (y/n) hasn't had any romance in their life for years," rUdE kyulkung

and as you were running through the hallway with Jeonghan, your heart beat is racing through your chest and if it weren't for his strong grip around your wrist, you would have probably let your fatigue consume you

the both of you pant, leaning against the wall while you slid down onto the floor legs too tired to function

"someone's threatening you, right?" was the first words that tumble out from his mouth

and you couldn't rub off the chill running down your spine while you hung your head low, away from him

"if it's because of Kim Areum, I'm very sorry. This isn't the first time that she's done it," he sigh, plopping down next to you

why was he apologizing? it wasn't his fault and neither did he intend for her to do this, or at least that's what you know of

maybe it was the adrenaline still rushing through your vines

or the stress being unbearable for you to handle

but you began spilling words without knowing

"why the fuck are you apologizing for? it's not like you planned all this right? this isn't the first time for me to deal with this people either, so i can handle myself,"

"you can tell yourself that but i won't let someone like you get pushed down for nothing,"

"someone like me? what do you even mean-"

"can't you tell that I like you, (y/n)?"

OOOooooOoo shit's bout to go down

and your head shot up towards you, nearly giving you whiplash as you lips part to talk, but to no avail

but jeonghan avoids your eyes, chuckling to himself as he ran his hand through his hair

"w-when??" was all you could muster as you anxiously waited his reply

"i don't know, maybe ever since sophomore year?"

and bOI LET ME TELL YOU this guy right here always found you intriguing since the first time he saw you during a volleyball game between your school and another neighborhood school

he was there to support one of his best friends while you were probably doing the same, except your energy was beyond his

seeing you cheer the loudest with your other two friends, holding banners and having paint on your cheeks as if you become a completely different person compared to your quiet and calm personality in school

and he was amazed that you actually had something more than just the quiet girl in his school

you were more than people assumed you to be and oh my god, jeonghan wanted to see that side of you even more, to see you be yourself than hide yourself in your little shell

he didn't know why he did nor did he realize the pounding of his heart when he saw you with that wide grin plastered on your face during that volleyball game

but as what his parents advised him to do was to, "follow his heart,"

that was so foking cheesy please excuse me while i shut myself in a corner

and here he was confessing to his long time crush while the both of you sat side by side, having an actual conversation besides the short yes and no's you would give him in class

"i never knew you felt that way about me," you mumbled, bringing your knees closer to your body while you attempted to hide the pink hues rising onto your cheeks

“But now you do, and I’ll do anything I can to stop Areum. Anything for you,” he mumbled while your heart is pounding through your ears 

“T-That sounds nice and everything b-but-”

you didn’t know how to react, to the fact that one of the most popular men in this school liked little old you

but to him, you weren’t plain, or boring or anything you assumed yourself to be

because he can never forget the gorgeous smile plastered on your face that day, no matter how long ago it was, he still found you as beautiful now

“Why don’t we find a compromise. I’ll find a non-harmful way to get Areum off your back and... you go on a date with me. Sounds good?”

You couldn’t ignore the heat rising in your cheeks even if you tried and with a hesitant nod, jeonghan took your hand gently in his and planted a soft kiss

“You better not forget our date okay, princess?”

let’s just say jeonghan broke some of the rules, sneaked a little here and there and snitched Areum by telling on her to her parents, nearly getting her pulled out of the school for his safety and others

but you had to admit, that date with him was pretty fun wink WOnk

and maybe because he finally managed to steal your heart uwu

A/N: this is longer than i expected :O also i should probably write for the other groups because i’ve only written for svt for the past 2 months OOPS hope you guys enjoyed it anyway ^^

[knightofbalance-13]

https://thoughtfuldreamercreatorduck.tumblr.com/post/178356941317/knightofbalance-13 @thoughtfuldreamercreatorduck

Well Yeah but thats Not the point. There is literally a word for it being used for queer relationships. I dont Really See your point to be honest?

My point is that if that is all queerbaiting is: Then it means nothing. Gay people don’t get special treatment, just like straight people don’t get special treatment.

Well ühm… what? Just so i understood everything youre saying that one gay relationship means the show itself cant be guilty of baiting? Queerbaiting is, at least how i understood it, to tease something explicitly between Two characters and than Not go through with it.

And WR (nothing against the ship) just doesnt have the Same build up?

Is your auto correct weird or something? Or is that “uhm” with the symbol above the u a word I don’t know. If it is sorry but I have no idea what it means.

Yeah, the issue is that term implies that the creators teased an LGBT pairing but never delivered one. If they deliver but not the one you wanted: That doesn’t look like queerbaiting to me. It just looks like another sunk ship.

And to make my point clearer: Bumbleby doesn’t really...have any canonical ship tease or build up. Everything you listed was interpretation and that...doesn’t count since anyone can interpret anything from an piece of media.

Really a sigh? Is it this painful to Read my comment? I tried my best to Not Sound condescending or arrogant or something you know? Am I really that horrible to endure that you Need to put upon the extra Time you use of your spare time to write this comment, which i Hope no one forced you to Read or even comment on, on a actually resolved discussion, the extra seconds to add a sigh?

No, I’m just tired of shippers using interpretation as evidence in ships. I was tired of it when I was a shipper.

It’s nothing against you, it’s general exasperation.

Well Yeah… Thats kinda the point. Hints Not confirmation. Its like that in the entry i copied and entered.

... Was it? Sorry I might have missed that. I was in a shipping community that treated using teasing and such as canon evidence. I just assumed all shippers were like that.

I am Not pushing bumblebee to become Canon. Would i be overjoyed if it does? Yes of course but i wouldnt rip RT a new One if it didnt. When did i say something like *I RIOT IF BB DOESNT GO CANON* Seriously when? Cause that was Not at all my intention.

Sorry again, I might have missed that but I have literally seen people threaten the writers over shipping so I’m kind of touchy about it.

Do we REALLY Need to force this to becoming a BB vs BS thing? Because it looks like you try just that. I was Not trying to do that. What point does it have here?

Sorry I didn’t mean to. It’s just easy to counter one side with the other.

My point was “This can be done for literally the exact opposite so this isn’t a good argument.”

I didnt want this Post to be about another Ship war i just Wanted to point out that something that gets in your words like being okay with Ghosts has some reason with it. Thats why i decided to Not go into the other reasons and just Make a Quick overview of some that came at the Front of my head.

That might be our difference: I almost never consider queerbaiting to have a valid reasoning. That just because it may have a reason to exist doesn’t mean it actually does or that it’s a good reason.

And AGAIN when did i say that? Look you appereantly seem to misunderstand some Things so Let me explain…

Please do: No one ever explains anything to me.

This Post was mainly just me trying to Show that there ARE reasons behind the overused queerbait threat. Can it be overused or wrongly used? Yes of course but there is some sort of ground work set that DOES have a Form of valid argument.

Okay then. As for me: those reasons don’t work. Why? Because the word carries an implication of double standards against LGBT people but from a shipping perspective, BB is being treated the same as what is considered it’s straight counterpart.

For me it wouldnt count as queerbaiting till they just Make Fun of bumblebee in the Show: something like Sun kissing Blake while ridiculing Yang. (THAT would be something we’re i would snap but mainly because Yang is my favorite character and she doesnt deserve any more shit, but thats beside the point)

Yeah, that is shitty no matter what.

About Interpretation… You know this works both ways right? All the interactions of Sun and Blake can be seen as friendship too. (As a side Note Adam didnt even aknowledge Sun existed till he saw him at haven, just felt like saying that)

For the sake of this discussion, I agree. ...I have no stake in this war aside from whatever gets the writer’s the least hate. And that’d probably be no ships canon at all.

Anyway if you want to Really reopen this already closed thing and try and turn this into a Ship war, why dont you just Message me personally when i get the Time between eating, sleeping, work and living i answer to it and we talk like this like the civilised humans we are. Besides this Can be seen by everyone and i think titan and katie are just about as done with this thing as i was. (Very Happy this got resolved peacefully btw)

I had no idea this was finished at the time.

Hell I chewed Titan out for his outburst since he’s a friend right after that post.

This was just apparently my toxic fandom paranoia going out of control. Sorry this got so bad.

[bxebxee]

BTS Wings Tour 170323 (Newark Day 1) Fan Account

Okay, so here is a really long fan account of my experience at the BTS Concert on March 23rd, 2017 for the Wings Tour. I put this off for a couple of days because I was still not in the right mindset to write this all down. There are also links to all the fancams I took. 

Note about my ticket/seat: I was general admission P1+soundcheck. 

Soundcheck: 

Line for soundcheck: 

I don’t have a lot to say except staff was very strict when it came to filming. I was not going to risk getting kicked out, so I kept my phone out of sight. BTS performed Dope, Save Me, and Baepsae. They were playing and saying things like “please lower so-and-so’s microphone volume” but like most of the crowd didn’t understand it because it was in korean. it was cute. 

Also, i did a really stupid thing, but I knew if i didn’t do it I would regret it. During one of the quiet moments, I screamed “민윤기 멋져” at the top of my lungs. And literally there was no one else saying anything at that moment, so it was mortifying, but I had to do it. I have no idea if he heard or not, but i swear i saw a smirk. KEEP IN MIND that I could totally be projecting my hallucinations on him. Anyway, BTS looked so good without any (serious) makeup on. I don’t know if they were 100% barefaced, but they looked good REGARDLESS. I would refer you to @hobibliophile‘s great fan account for more details. 

Namjoon in a beanie and sunglasses saved my life. And Hoseok was so... HOT. He was the only one kind of getting into the dancing and I screamed so much. SO MUCH. 

They looked mad tired tho...

Main Concert: 

I’m exhausted as I type this. The post-concert depression is SO real. 

Before I really go into the main concert, I just wanted to say that for Newark Day 1, everyone was really supportive of each other. I didn’t see a ton of people pulled out of the pit (I only saw 2). And like while we were on line waiting for the concert, everyone was feeding each other ljfasdk. I basically had nothing on me, and everyone was like “DID YOU EAT? HAVE A COOKIE!” or “HAVE CANDY!” etc... 

Anyway, the ONLY time when it was a mess was when we were trying to get inside the venue, and then the Pushing(tm) began. Thankfully, I was sandwiched in between two people who smelled good, so no harm done lol. My friends and I were like... within the first several hundred people to get inside the venue, but by the time we got there, the extended pit crowd was way too heavy. We got a pretty okay spot by the sides of the extended stage, and it was a BARRICADE spot, so no real complaints. (Next time though, istg if I have to camp out to get front pit I guess that’s what I’ll have to do...) 

My spot: 

It was REAL FUCKING CLOSE TO THE STAGE. BARRICADE!

At around 7:59... they start playing Spring Day projected on the main white sheet pictured: 

(my fancam: right before the concert started)

And the lights dimmed after Spring Day played 2x. So you KNEW it was happening. If you notice, the white sheet is being held up by these little clip things. And BTS was behind that sheet!!!!!!!! THEY PULLED AWAY THAT SHEET AND THERE THEY FUCKING WERE.

They performed Not Today. (my fancams: Not Today [1, 2]

My memory is getting vague already, but they did some introduction comments (suga said: “SUGA IN THE HOUSE” and my friend captured me flipping the fuck out), and then jumped right into Baepsae. I was dying during Baepsae, but I did manage to capture the MOST pivotal moment of the performance (for me) HERE. 

I think after that, it was a vcr and some solo stages. This is out of order, but here are all the fancams of the solo stages that I captured: 

-Begin -First Love  -Awake

Honest to goodness... Jungkook is so GOOD at singing and dancing. Like... he’s UNREAL. He is SO STABLE, and his voice is just SO NICE. BUT YOU ALREADY KNEW THAT RIGHT??!!?!? 

The best thing was that my friends and I didn’t really have overlapping biases, so we held each other’s spot anytime there was a solo stage. So when Yoongi’s stage was up they were like “GO” to me hahaha. @jatriciaapungg finally found her bias in hobi, and it was so cute. (Note: he was the ONLY solo stage that started in the extended stage, so she had to run ALL THE WAY BACK after securing a decent spot near the main stage. RIP but we got her to the barricade up front so that she could see properly. BUT OF COURSE IT HAD TO HAPPEN FOR HOBI.) 

Yoongi’s stage... what can I even say... I CRIED near the end. (only a little though because I was trying really hard not to be emotional) He’s so passionate and talented. There was an orchestral arrangement and the cello was beautiful. (He was beautiful.) 

I made a promise to myself that I would limit recording things because I wanted to experience the concert first hand instead of through a screen. But I was physically unable NOT to record Jin singing because he has such a beautiful voice, and Awake is my favorite solo song. 

This is so out of order, but I didn’t record Jimin’s, Namjoon’s, Taehyung’s, or Jhope’s solo stages because I was too absorbed in the performances. Jimin’s dance lines are UNREAL. How were Jimin stans even ALIVE standing near him for his LIE performance????? HOW??? 

Namjoon’s solo... my goodness... They had the phonebooth with a ton of writing/graffiti on it. @jatriciaapungg noticed LUST FOR LIFE written, and I wish I could’ve gotten a pic of that. That phonebooth was so aesthetic. Right before Namjoon started, there was this whale in the background and the crowd let out this collective “Awwwww” so it was nice to know we were all emo together. 

Our other friend (I’ll call her M because I’m not sure of her tumblr?) is a Taehyung stan, so we were like GOGOGOGO when Stigma was gonna start. And like... Taehyung’s outfit was so shiny. He’s so attractive, and his voice. omg. 

JHOOOPE. I have to tell you... Thursday night was ALL about Jhope. Everyone was so WIRED for Jhope. I loved it!!! I love seeing jhope get love you have no idea. He was the only one to start from the extended stage instead of the main stage, but when the dancers started walking over to get into position over at the extended stage it was a like a mad dash of this HUGE crowd of people over at the main stage to secure a decent spot over at the extended stage. This one super tall girl sort of pushed me out of the way, but she looked like she was having a good time jamming to her bias so I wasn’t too mad. I feel like we’re allowed to have those moments for our biases, yknow? 

Okay, so chronologically I’m blanking, but at some point Jimin, Taehyung, Seokjin, and Jungkook were already by the extended stage to get ready for Lost, and HERE THEY WERE:

My fancams for Lost: PART 1, PART 2 You have not LIVED if you have not heard Jin sing. He’s SO GOOD.  And Lost is such a good song omg. 

Then there was Save Me, which was so good. The crowd collectively LOST OUR MCFREAKIN MINDS when Jhope’s part came on. But let’s be real that’s like such an amazing part of the song. I apologize about me screaming when Namjoon came out for his part but he was SO ATTRACTIVE GODDD. 

I NEED U was next, and let me tell you I was so emo seeing this live. I never thought I would actually see them perform this live EVER. (short note: I NEED U was the song that made me really stop and listen to them and acknowledge that YES I liked them to bits. and HYYH came out at a pretty pivotal moment of my life, so by extension I fell in love with bts even more.) I welled up for this but no tears.

Anyway, you’re probably wondering about CYPHER PT 4, and yeah I have that whole thing recorded, so go check it out. Honestly, my heart was palpitating so much. And I wish that I was near the water, but it wasn’t meant to be. I still enjoyed the fck out of that performance. 

Everyone was HYPE for FIRE (part 1, part 2). They performed more for the front, but at my spot in line... I saw a lot of... butt... (im blushing ok. i never thought i’d actually bangtan’s butt LIVE okay!!!)

Here are some pics... (yoongi)

The medley was right after fire. Honestly, @jatriciaapungg‘s fancam for the medley was EVERYTHING. She and I were standing right next to each other, so her blessed fancam is exactly what I saw. 

My shaky medley fancams: A short break, No [part 1, part 2], No More Dream, Danger [part 1, part 2], Run [part 1, part 2]

Notes about the medley: I consider myself to be a mostly Yoongi bias, but I truly love all of them. ALL. Of. THEM. He wasn’t really on our side of the stage but do you know who was???? JHOPE, JIMIN, AND TAEHYUNG THATS WHO. 

Honest to goodness eye contact with Jimin was fucking fatal. And he changed his hair color to that soft brown that makes everyone nut. Taehyung was king of fanservice as expected, but Jimin was such a surprise. My heart was beating so fast because it wasn’t just once or twice that he came over to our end. And I lowkey (kind of sort of) think it’s because my friends were super pretty so make sure you go with pretty friends. 

Funny story about RUN. So towards the end of my fancams you’ll see me like rush towards the front when the boys move from the extension to the main stage. In my friend’s fancam, you can hear go “Unni Run! Gogogogogogo!” (and pls we’re both korean so don’t think we’re into that koreaboo shit lol). 

Right after RUN was 21st Century Girl [part 1, part 2]. They were so playful. Especially Jhope and Taehyung hahahaha. 

After that: Blood Sweat Tears. They had on these nice, expensive-looking blazers omg. 

Pretty stuff: confetti & rainbow ocean 

WINGS [part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4] I lost my fucking mind for WINGS. And maybe this is me being like annoying or whatever but I finally realized for WINGS that the crowd was kind of.... dead. Like we’re all in the front and stuff, and you can tell from my fancam that I was like v hype for it. TBH I wasn’t even paying attention to recording; I was jumping around and having a blast but everyone around me was so still wtf? Ah, it’s not up to me to dictate your own concert experience, but I really understood what people were saying regarding crowds being dead just to record stuff... Keep in mind though... that a lot of people who went to the thursday show were in really bad condition because of how cold wednesday night was...

(Almost ending picture)...

Ending Fancams: Short Break, Yoongi Ending Ment, 2! 3! (this is so short lol because I was SINGING lmao), Spring Day (Full), Almost Ending (everyone singing that last oh-oh-oh part of spring day. dont look at me i’m emo), Final Bows (this was supposed to be a picture but whatever), Saying Goodbye (feat. taehyung getting hit by a plushie), Jungkook Saying Goodbye, Jhope + Jimin Saying Goodbye, More Goodbyes, Yet More Goodbyes, Final Goodbye 

What an experience... There was so much DRAMA surrounding me going at all, but I’m so glad I went. And to have my first real concert be with BTS has been more memorable than you guys know...

Note about my videos: I feel like this should go without staying but, please do not post elsewhere without crediting. But probably some of you will do it anyway... (They’re not even that great of fancams so I’m not too mad.) 

Meet Ups: 

Honestly, I would not have been able to even GO at all if it weren’t for @jatriciaapungg. (The whole thing is a long story.) This was our third meeting, and I was SO HAPPY to get to go see BTS with her and her other friend. I couldn’t have asked for better concert buddies. And honestly we were so cute together. (IF YOU’RE READING THIS WE’RE GOING TO GO SEE BTS TOGETHER AGAIN!) Honestly, @jatriciaapungg is just super pretty on the inside and outside, and her fancams saved my LIFE.

I saw @hobibliophile a couple of times, but  both times we were in line or in a precious barricade spot, so we couldn’t really interact a lot hahaha. But it was great to see her and scream each other’s names from fifty feet away hahaha. 

Okay. So when I finally met bangtan bookclub babes @ohsuga and @triptaech I lost it. We made First Contact right before the concert started, but I got yelled at by security staff when I lingered for too long near a barricade thing separating seated sections from standing. But our real meeting was right after the concert ended, and we met in the cold outside. I tackled both of them in a hug. Let me tell you: they’re both super attractive and my heart was beating so fast because I finally got to meet some of the bookclub fam. We only spent like 20 minutes together because we were all going different directions, but they waited with me for my uber. I miss them already. 

Finally, I said hello to @versigny as I was leaving to go back home by train. (She’s so cute goodness gracious...) I think other writers were there with her too, but I had to leave and catch my train. 

[jyum]

- ̗ ̀fan account ̖ ́-  #TURBULENCEinLA

let’s start this yo okay so i met up with @poeticyoungjae (mina) and @soft-jaebum (mia) at the venue around 1ish?? i got there last because i took forever to get ready and then my sister and i hit traffic :/ but it was all good

i honestly thought the line was going to be suuuper long to get our wristbands (hence why we got there early) but it wasn’t! there was no line at all so we got our wristbands and we were set!

we then ended up going to ktown to go to this kpop store and it was so fun the car ride was the best thing because we were bumping to got7 and when boomx3 came out we pulled down our windows and we were getting lit! (i bought this cute jaebum ring thingy for my phone from the kpop store and IT’S MY FAVORITE THING EVER)

by the time we got back to venue it was like 4ish and we just walked around and bought stuff from the fansites and got all the cute banners and stuff they were passing out

we were just hanging out when we hear someone talking from the mic and i guess that was the cue that the doors were gonna open soon so i booked it up the stairs (idk why if our the venue was all seated so we had a guaranteed spot ???)

so we’re all out here doing fan chants calling the members names AND ONE OF THE MEMBERS (I HAVE A STRONG FEELING IT WAS JACKSON OR BAMBAM) OPENS THE CURTAINS FROM THE VENUE RECORDING FROM THEIR IPHONE AND EVERYONE IS JUST LOSING THEIR MARBLES (they did it a couple times)

so that got everyone even extra pumped so we’re waiting and they finally open the doors (by this time, we had met up with @cu​ june) so it’s me, mina, mia and june and we’re all walking in arms linked so we can get our tickets scanned

we get our tickets scanned and we have to separate because mina had center, june had left center but mia and i were on left so it was kind of :( but it was all good

mia and i walk to our seats and i honestly didn’t think i was going to be that freaking close??? (i was row e seat 39) like i was sh*tting bricks because i was hella close (mia was 2 rows behind me if any one is curious)

so i’m sitting by myself waiting for people to sit next to me so i can make friends and oh my god everyone around me was so sweet (none of them had or used tumblr so we added each other on snap but i love them all so much and we actually planned to meet up if we go to the next got7 concert/fan meet)

so we’re all talking getting pumped and people just start screaming and my friends and i were like ??? whats going on AND WE COULD SEE BAMBAM WITH HIS SNOWFLAKE HAIR AND I THINK IT WAS JACKSON FROM THE CURTAINS

THATS WHEN IT GOT REAL BECAUSE THE LIGHTS DIMMED AND THE CONCERT WAS STARTING

they started with ‘let me’ (I WAS SINGING MY HEART OUT EVERYONE AROUND ME WAS LAUGHING) and then it was ‘boomx3′ (DOUBLE B) and then ‘just right’ those were the first 3 songs they performed

after ‘let me’ they introduced themselves AND LET ME TELL YOU, WHEN JAEBUMS SAID “hi guys i’m jb” I-I ALMOST D-E-D JUST 4 WORDS AND I ALMOST K.O

i got the cutest jinson interactions i’ll post them later but bless i think i’m passed my markjin phase hello jinson i’m ready to be loyal

okay okay so they did the questions where they get the sticky notes with questions on it and ask another member the question and honestly!!! i can’t really remember-JUST MOTHERPHUCKING KIDDING I REMEMBER SOMETHING

JAEBUM WAS TALKING DURING AND IDK IF THE VIDEO GOT CUT BUT I REWATCHED ONE OF MY VIDEOS AND IT WAS QUIET EVERYONE WAS TRYING TO HEAR JAEBUM EVERYONE WAS BEING GREAT EXCEPT FOR MY ASS IDK WHAT HAPPENED BUT I JUST START SCREAMING “JAEBUM YOUR ENGLISH IS GOOD YES YES *screams*” (HE LOOKED AT MY PHONE Y’ALL I JUST WATCHED ANOTHER VIDEO AND MY DUMBASS WAS SCREAMING THAT I LOVED HIM SO HARD AND HE WAS STARING AIDNAJSNJSJDJSJSJ)

okay moving on if you read my tags i love disney so much when mark asked what their favorite disney movie was i obviously lost my marbles and wow jinyoungs favorite disney movie is toy story bless hIM

yugbam danced to juju on dat beat AND BOY WAS GETTING IT AYE AYE

watching them play the guess this song game was one of the best things to watch jaebum kept having to do the squats while flapping his arms like a baby bird and there was one point where they put their ears to the speakers to guess the song like wow they was getting wild they was here trying to pop an ear drum (youngjae won and i loved hearing him sing a part of the song he guessed bLESS)

tHERE WAS ONE TIME WHERE JAEBUM WANTED TO GUESS A SONG AND HE RAISED HIS HAND SO QUICK BUT THE TINIEST AND SOFTEST “jaebum” CAME OUT OF HIS MOUTH IT WAS THE CUTEST FREAKING THING I LOVE HIM and then the rest of the members teased him about it it was cute

jaebum and yugbam had to sing their parts on helium and freaking bambam started singing watch me whip and do the stanky leg and yugyeom sounded so cute he sounded like a minion

they played the behind the scenes from the filming of hard carry and came back on stage with ‘fly’ but okay so we all have seats and we can stand but we have to stay at our seats but there were these groups of girls that ran to the front of the stage so everyone else thought it was okay too so they kind of blocked the way and my friends and i were trying so hard to stay at our seats but ended up getting frustrated because couldn’t see crap so ended up moving a little up (don’t worry we didn’t stay there when we were suppose to be seated like most people we would go back to our seats) 

‘FLY’ WAS SUCH A HYPE STAGE YOUNGJAES VOCALS WERE FREAKING AMAZING AND THEY WERE DANCING SO HARD YUGYEOM DIDN’T COME TO PLAY MY BOY WAS GETTING IT EVERYONE WAS DOING FUCKING AMAZING AHHHH I LOVE THAT STAGE

after it was ‘if you do’ and jaebum came out with his emo side and had his hood on (i hope he was doing it for the effect i hope it wasn’t bad or anything pls pls pls i hope he wasn’t upset or anything okay no bad thoughts arianna stop) but yeah my boy came out looking good and was going HARD AND 2JAES VOCALS AND MARKSONBAMS RAP 

that stage was amazing tambien i just remember saying “FUCK IT UP” throughout the whole thing

they started their goodbyes and oh my god i was so :-( merp but i was so happy when youngjae sang for elliot yamin he sang for him and then he got up from his seat and was so hyped for youngjae ahhhh i’m so happy for him our sunny

jaebum said his speech and wow i seriously love him with everything my 🌎"thank you for coming *my screams covering up what he said after* peace” and THEN MARKS SPEECH REALLY HAD ME HE WAS LIKE CHOKING UP AND GOD I’M SO HAPPY HE WAS HOME THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LETTING HIM BE HOME (idk who i’m thanking but JUST THANK YOU)

jacksons speech really got to me like i know i’ve been saying this but (not to be a sap) his speech was something i really needed to hear oh my god i’m going to cry BUT JUST UGH I LOVE JACKSON WANG 

they “finished” up with ‘hard carry’ and honestly i thought it was for real done like idk why i forgot about ‘homerun’ but they came back on stage AND HAD THEIR ENCORE STAGE ‘HOMERUN’

THIS STAGE WAS ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAVS IT WAS LIKE MY TOP 3 1. boomx3 2. homerun 3. fly

OKAY BUT I KNEW THEY CAME CLOSE TO INTERACT WITH THE FANS BUT I DIDNT THINK IT WAS GONNA BE THAT CLOSE I WAS SO CLOSE TO JINYOUNG HE WAS GIVING SO MUCH FANSERVICE YUGYEOM ALSO HE WAS OUT HERE BEING THE CUTEST THING (i also got cute jinson moments here) 

jaebum didn’t come to my side :/ its cool i see him no i’m kidding but i have a close up of each member except my babe BUT IT’S ALL GOOD BECAUSE HE MADE IT UP AT THE HI TOUCH (i know this very long and theres probably going to be more but pls bare with also thank you for reading so far :-)

they finished up ‘homerun’ and they did their bows and it was such a heart warming feeling like i really saw them perform i was and still am so happy like i didn’t even cry i was just so happy i couldn’t stop smiling :-) i could just feel all my love and their love and it was just a big aroma of love and i loved it

^^^ i was going based off my memory and videos but i forgot about when they played the hacky sack game oops

okay so when jaebums partner was introducing herself her name was kat (like a gato) and she did like claw with her hand and jaebum was confused he was kat? and she was like yeah kat and did the claw thing and once he understood he was like oh kat and did the claw thing too aiandjsjdjsjsjs CUTEST THING

and once again youngjaes partners name was arianna (or ariana) and every time they said her name i would scream so freaking loud (i think she was one of the girls that they surprised in the buzzfeed video but i’m not sure)

jinyoung is hella good at that hacky sack game when he was done i kept screaming “messi who?? messi WHO?”

and lastly MARK CARRIED HIS PARTNER BECAUSE THEY WON AND I SWEAR IT REMINDED ME OF A DRAMA HUG WHERE THEY’RE IN SLOW MOTION AND HUG DRAMATICALLY IT WAS SO CUTE AND JACKSON WAS BEING THE BIGGEST GENTLEMEN (like always) TO HIS PARTNER HOLDING HER COAT AND PUTTING IT ON AND THEN PUTTING IT BACK ON HER

oh and bambam called his partner queen and noona and aishsinajsjsjsjs i love him

OKAY HI TOUCH TIME so they’re finishing up the photo op and now i’m reunited with mina and june so its mina, mia, june, 2 other friends we made there and me! we kind of wanted to go last for the hi touch but apparently some fans went twice for the hi touch :/

i guess they didn’t leave the venue and just went back in line and got to high five them again so security was getting pretty strict and somewhat rude

so before anything else could happen we got into line (we ended up losing june) and the line started moving fast

the line up was jackson, jaebum, youngjae, mark, yugyeom, bams, and jinyoung

so ya girl was coming up with what to say to them and the line is moving hella fast!! so mia was first then mina then me and our other 2 friends

i get to jackson and he’s leaning on the table and i high five him and tell him “please be healthy i love you” aidnajjsjsjs he gives me his little turtle like smile and i freaking almost d-e-d but jaebum was after so i pulled through

something happened and mark was not letting go of minas hand so i was with jaebum for like a cool minute so he has like his hand in a low high five position and i’m resting my hand on his and i’m telling i love him and to stay healthy and thanking him and he’s nodding and smiling and staring into my soul like hard core and oh my god i thought this was it this was the end for me it felt like i was going up to heaven

his hair was covering his eyes but i could see his eyes and FLIP I LOVE HIM SO MUCH JAEBUM I LOVE YOU

its youngjae next and i sorta blacked out with jaebum because i was there pretty long and youngjae is the cutest thing ever i high five him and tell him i love him and thanked him and then mark!

i don’t know what happened to me but i was chill with mark so i start “welcome home mark… mark you look so good in turtle necks i love you” HE WAS NODDING SO CUTELY AND WHEN I SAID THE TURTLE NECK THING THING HE RAISED HIS EYEBROWS AND DID THAT CUTE CHUCKLE HE DOES AND I ALMOST K.O AGAIN

then it was the maknaes and i told them i loved them and thanked them (i forgot what i wanted to tell them because of everything that happened :/) and finally it was the prince himself jinyoung

jinyoungs english is so good everyone he practices so hard to improve his english each time they come to the states so i knew what i had to say “jinyoung i love you so much your english is amazing thank you for practicing so hard we all appreciate it” he was nodding and smiling and said thank you aidnajfjsjsjs in my head i was like boy don’t thank me thank yourself you’re out here Doing that THANK YOU

and that was it i walked down the stage and mina and mia were a little ahead of me and once i got outside the venue mina was holding my hand and I BROKE DOWN

I WAS ON THE FLOOR CRYING HOLDING MINAS HAND AND I JUST COULDNT BELIEVE I SAW THEM I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEY WORK SO HARD FOR ALL US AHGASES AND I JUST WISH I COULD GIVE THEM MORE THAN THANK YOUS AND I LOVE YOUS BECAUSE THEY JUST DESERVE IT ALL I LOVE MY ANGELITOS

after my little moment i had to leave because my sis was already at the venue ready to dip so i said bye to everyone and i had my little dramatic ‘looking out at the stars through the window’ moment while we were driving home

BUT MINA AND MIA SAW MARK GETTING ESCORTED OUT THE VENUE TO HIS CAR AIDNAJFNSJNSJSJS low-key jelly

but yeah that was my fan meet experience if you read all this: thank you so much i love you and i should be posting most of my videos and picture tomorrow while i’m at school (it’ll probably be in my queue)

ON ONE LAST NOTE: JAEBUMS HAND IS SO SOFT HIS LITTLE CHEETO PUFF FINGERS ARE SOFT SO SOFT aidnajdjsjsjs

[jaydanosaurus]

I’m a leader, not a boss.

Story Time!

So I worked at JCPenney in my hometown my senior year of college. My time there, I learned a lot and grew, taking opportunities and moving up.  It wasn’t long before I was the visual merchandising associate (my favorite job I ever had).

Then, upon graduating college, I decided to move to Chicago where there were “more opportunities.”  Really, my boyfriend was going for grad school and I wanted to finally leave that godforsaken small town. Side note, while Chicago is amazing and huge and great for business people, try getting a fashion job that isn’t retail... you can’t.

So when I moved, I transferred to the closed JCPenney until I could find something “better” for me to do.  Most of my peers already had fancy jobs awaiting them in New York or California, but not me. I could not find anything Chicago.  So alas, I stuck it out in hopes of at least moving up and making more dough.

So there I was, demoted back to sales associate in the men’s department making barely minimum wage for Chicago. Let me interject by saying that I worked really hard to get 3 raises in my time back home to be making great money, but in Chicago market that was nothing.  So I worked hard, in a VERY urban, big store unlike the store I was accustomed to. I searched and searched for opportunities but alway lost out to people with “more experience.” Finally, after nearly quitting and moving back home, my store manager asked me to be the temporary supervisor for the holiday season.  Around that same time, I applied for a manager program that I thought I damn near deserved but probably would never get into.

By November, guess what. I made the cut. I got it. I was the new Assistant Manager Trainee for the Chicago market. While this doesn’t sound that great, it was. Only 12 Trainees were in the program nationwide, and Managers in big-time department stores are no joke. I started my first big boy job out of college, and while it wasn’t necessarily designing clothes or buying like I wanted, it was a decent job.

I transferred to my 3rd JCPenney in just under 2 years with the company to the notorious and infamous Orland Park JCP for my Training. There I met some of the best people I’ve ever known. I grew more than I thought I would and became a success. Mind you, this is one of the biggest JCPenney’s in the whole company, and is notorious for corporate visits. While there, I got to meet the CEO, tour the store with all kinds of people, lead major projects, and takeover the launch of the New Major Appliances. Once I completed my 3 month training, I was rightfully so, an Assistant Store Manager. All the while, my partner was growing more and more pregnant. Finally, she gave birth and took her leave, allowing me to take her spot while I awaited my final placement. (I’m going to brag a little and just say that the other managers all told me that I was the best Trainee they ever had). It was like home, family. I loved this store and wanted to stay forever, but I always knew I wouldn’t get to. Which brings us to Chicago.

The day came when my District Manager finally started to give me news about being placed in my very own store. It was exciting and nerve-wracking. So I had to conference with a general manager at the store in Fort Wayne, which made me super hopeful because my friend from home who went through this program the year prior was placed there. Fort Wayne is also where my boyfriend is from close to home for me. But then, two days later, just after Black Friday, when I thought my DM was going to say Fort Wayne, he said Ford City Mall.

I had always heard of Ford City, but it was never good words. The trainee from the year before me was placed there and was already leaving. This store had gained a reputation as hard, crazy, dangerous, and worst of all just plain awful.  They went through managers left and right, for many reasons. Either way, I had no choice in the matter, and this was my new place to work. 

I found out on a Thursday and had to report to my new drill sergeant, I mean General Manager, on Monday. Everyone at Orland Park was sad to see me go after nearly 10 months. But it was like a promotion, so I should have been happy. Right? After the sweetest going away party in true Orland Park fashion, I said my goodbyes and hugged and cried with my peers.  Shout out to the best boss I could ever ask for, a man who changed me and taught me so much.

 So all weekend my head was spinning a web. All I ever head of Ford City was negative press, so I didn’t know what to think. I knew that the guy I was replacing never liked it there, so what was I about to get into. I loved JCPenney so I went in as optimistic as I could. Monday came, it was 7am, and I was now the assistant manager at JCPenney in Chicago... the only JCPenney in Chicago...on the southwest side.  But the first day, I set up my office, met everyone, and had a great day. I was actually very excited and hopeful. 

 Cut to a few weeks later and I completely understood the rumors. This store is very urban, meaning very different and challenging. It is also huge. And I had to learn things I thought I already knew, without much help. My boss was everything I heard he was and more. The micro-managing devil who wanted everything done exactly his way or no way. I was working roughly 70 hours every week. Being “coached” about every decision I made, made to feel inferior and small. I went from the best boss ever to Donald Trump. But I decided I would prove myself, prove what I could do, and do my absolute best even though the other manager was not. 

There were countless things I could go on about forever which made it awful to work there. But there were some positive lights at the end of that tunnel. I made connections with people that will always be there because of this experience. The other two assistant managers and myself are very close now because we all know the struggles. And some of the people who worked and shopped at the small are the best kind of people. Also, because this store is the only one in the city, and right next to Midway Airport, it got frequent corporate visits. For me, seeking a career in buying at corporate level, this exposure was priceless. I also made hella bank, like really good money for a 23 year old. Oh, and it was a shorter commute, which can be EVERYTHING on your drive home.

But all this was not enough for me. I came into work every day afraid to see what challenges I’d face that day. I would wake up to 10 emails almost everyday, 30 or so on my days off. And I was expected to work like a dog. All this would be okay if my boss cared, recognized it, or even said please & thank you.  

After months of unhappiness, and me taking this experience for granted a little bit, and complete mental breakdowns every week, I finally decided to do it. I was going to put in my 2 weeks.  But I stuck it out again. You see, I have never felt like I am great at anything, but rather just good or okay at a lot of things. But this, my work ethic and my hardworking nature, that is the one thing I know I am amazing at. And I had always gotten praise for it. I got to be a manager in under 2.5 years in the hardest store in the midwest. So yeah, I think I should be happier in this circumstance. I had never been told I wasn’t working hard enough or that I wasn’t good enough at my job. Until now.

My mother always said you need to work somewhere at least 3 months to give it its fair shake, and to decide if its you or the job. Well after 5 months, I finally, finally, finally just quit one day.  I worked really hard, my hardest I could despite hating life, slipping into a deep depression again (first time since high school), and despite not having support from my boss. Side bar, I asked for transfers, I asked for guidance, I even started sticking up for myself to him.  The thing is, I am close with my family, my family who lives 5 hours away. I want to see them on holidays and my weekends off, which only happens once or less a month. Easter was approaching and my boss was riding me hard.  I finally just blew up at him and I felt an air of confidence, serenity, and approval in myself for standing up for myself to him. And to some extend, I think he was waiting for it to happen because I think in a way I earned his respect. And he stopped coming for me for a couple days. But then the next week, he was at my throat again, and I threatened to walk out. He quickly stopped and apologized. Then it was calm for a few more days. I had the weekend off and just contemplated how worth it all this was, for the millionth time. I worked Monday with a different mindset over me, like I knew something needed to change. And on Tuesday, I called my mom, my boyfriend, and dad, and just said I’m doing it. I decided today is the day, and I’m off today. I am quitting. I wrote a letter and sent it to my boss and my District Manager. I resigned effective immediately. Right before Easter Weekend (HA!).

The funny thing is that every time I wanted to quit and didn’t, I thought things could change. It finally hit me that they wouldn’t. And all the times I should have but didn’t quit, I was so upset and mad. This time was different; I was calm and clear headed. This was my choice. I quit and I was proud of myself for choosing my happiness. I didn’t look at it as me giving up but rather me standing up. And it made me feel just a little vindictive to give him no notice in a holiday peak. Honestly, he didn’t care about me so I didn’t care about him.

Reflecting back on this whole story that has been my life for almost 3 years now, I see things could have been done differently. But thats life. I share this story because I need to. For me. My journey upon graduating college has not been what I always thought it would be. I am finding myself now more than ever.

Recently I have been struggling to find a job. I don’t know what I want to do with my life after quitting managing a store I used to love but now resent.  I apply and apply every day, get a handful of interviews, but never land the job. I try to pick things I think I’d like, because after all, I’m not putting myself through that torture again. My depression that started from this job has stuck around, and some days around great. I start regretting my decision to leave abruptly, a thing I swore wouldn’t happen.  My parents wished I would have found something else before quitting. My mom wished I had given two week notice so I could be re-hirable. But to me, none of that matters or is worth it.  All that matters is that I ended that book and now I am starting a new one. I’m in the prologue awaiting to start the first chapter.

All things considered, I am still happy I left. I just wish things could have gone differently. The whole point of me moving to Chicago was to experience the city, to grow, and to find a job that is right for me. I’ve done two of those things. I just need to find myself and then the career.

The challenges I’m facing now are finding the career path that is right for me, as I now know managing isn’t. In a way, it was always me settling. I look to buying as my next conquest, however who really knows what’s next. The future is real, the struggles are real, but the happiness is real too.

I do thank that awful boss though. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t know just how special, important, and awesome I am. I wouldn’t know my limits. I wouldn’t know that while he thought I wasn’t a good manager, I KNOW I am. I learned a lot about what I am looking for in my life in order to be happy at work.

I have gone to a few interviews where they ask what my managing style is and I ALWAYS SAY, “I believe in being a leader, not a boss.” Managing isn’t about being a tyrant, its about empowering, teaching, and leading by example. 

It is now 3:32am, I am tired, rambling, and clearing my soul. With that I am done. Thank you for reading, or not. 

Good night. Hire me.