#side note i was going through the google doc for their backstory and it made me realise

[nach0]

au where everything's the exact same except yopper is osha compliant, featuring backstory

headinhands this was meant to be a QUICK DOODLE for a JOKE. "oh that parkour isn't very safe" says my friend. "oh wait i can do a funny doodle about that" i say back. one hour later here we are

[couchpotatoaniki]

Idol!ATEEZ: Their s/o secretly writes fanfics pt.2

A/N: This was a request from someone who wanted to read their reactions to dirty fanfics *wiggles brows* but cba coming up with more backstories, so this’ll be a continuation of the first reaction

Tag list: @lovelyrose014-blog​ sorry this took so long :((

WARNINGS: swearing, mature content, heavily suggestive

Part One

Kim Hongjoong:

Hongjoong made no effort to hide that he read your stories. It was as he promised; the first time he read them was not the last.

He’d been filling up his rare breaks with your works, powerful words contrasting your timid nature and no matter how many times he indulged himself in your crazy mind, Hongjoong never ceased to be amazed.

You had more sides to you than he ever could imagined.

Although, there was one thing he put off for quite some time now, and that would be reading your more popular fanfics. The fan favourites. After all, being the leader, he should know what his fans like, and as your boyfriend he should know what you crave.

Hongjoong was a smart guy despite the goofy act he put on--very similar to your intelligence and geeky-yet-quiet nature. He knew that you wanted to keep him away from the dark side of your account, not wanting to scare him away (which he would never let happen). Hence why he hadn’t gone on it since he wanted to respect your wishes to some extent.

Until now.

Hongjoong swears it was curiosity, nothing more, but deep down he knew. He still needed to see that side of you, the side you deem acceptable for a whole world of strangers to see but not him.

Drove him mad.

But he was still in denial as he chanted in his head that this was only for research purposes. Bullshit.

Late at night, when pretty much everyone had gone home and he still had some work left to do, Hongjoong decided to take a well-deserved break, lying on his sofa as he scrolled through his phone.

He was doing what he had planned--he was finally doing it and nothing made the adrenaline rush faster through his veins. He clicked on the one which had the most reads, the one that was the most popular among anything you wrote, and from the title, it appeared innocent enough.

Maybe this wasn’t the one...

Then again, you were adamant that he never read it.

“Never hurt to try...” Hongjoong mumbled, despite being the only one in the sound-proof room. He clicked on it, anticipation making him restless.

Long chapter, as usual, and everything started out fine enough. No sign of anything, nothing suggestive at all.

What was the big deal about?

The next few chapters were of a similar feel. Sweet, gentle, fluffy. But he couldn’t put his phone down, something about this story had him...unsettled. It was nothing like your usually ones--with sadistic characters and an intricate plotline.

No. This had him slightly confused. It felt too kind.

Then he carried on. And then he realised.

That was exactly your intention.

The filter you had put over the first few chapters was slowly startling to peel away, into something more twisted.

Hongjoong buzzed off this, knowing exactly that the earlier chapters were a trap, a false sense of security. How you managed to poison every reader slowly, like your words were mercury.

By the time he got to the first smut chapter in the series, he was already consumed, work forgotten . Every word felt like it sucked out a part of his soul, and the heavy themes in the scenes had him in an uncomfortable situation of rather tight jeans.

Right now, all Hongjoong wanted was you. He needed you. To do all those things you wrote, to be there with him and feel the things he was feeling.

Luckily, you were always awake at this time of night.

Just a phone call away.

Park Seonghwa:

Although he loved your shower time, there was one habit that Seonghwa didn’t like and that was you leaving your notebooks everywhere. It made his daily cleaning harder than it should’ve been.

Never did he look through them, caring too much about not invading your privacy (save for a few months ago where he accidently found out about your fanfic account on AO3). But today was a stressful day already.

All he wanted right now was to lie down with you and watch some cheesy romcoms, accompanied by some snacks. Hongjoong, ever the perfectionist, was under more stress than usual and that meant all the other members were too.

Seonghwa was the nurturing mother, and even he felt like he lacked the energy to be as such with the way things were going right now--a comeback just around the corner.

So, yes, the tall boy was quite peeved today. He needed his charger. He needed you. But you were taking your damn time in the shower and he had to pick up all your damn notebooks from the most random places.

What even was it about these notebooks that you had to buy--or try to buy--a new one every time you entered a shop? Seonghwa never understood your love for them as he had only linked the devilish little thing to his work, where Hongjoong would be composing or writing lyrics.

The last thing he needed right now was something to remind him of his job.

The stress continued to build as this argumentative thoughts accumulated in his head, causing him to drop the hardback in his hands. “Fuck��s sake,” he growled, too pissed off at the moment to notice that your book had oh-so-conveniently opened up.

When he did, however, his fiery anger cooled down at the page, which had a few words on it. Luckily for him, your handwriting was fairly neat (unlike your normal habits) so he could read your little notes.

Phrases, sentences, ideas, the plot line in general, that’s what he got from a first glance. Maybe he could have a peek, seeing as though he was exerting a lot of energy recently.

The words, the plot, everything on that page was something he did not expect. It was smut.

Surely his innocent sweetheart wouldn’t be writing those, right? He gave you the benefit of the doubt when he found out about your fanfics. But you were a sweet girl, and he had always thought you mind was as pure as your heart was.

Then again, no one’s heart is truly pure, and it wasn’t the first time you had been tainted by him.

His eyes scanned your words, finding that it was somewhat vanilla and gentle.

A sigh escaped past his lips when he found that you were still his soft-hearted princess.

Then he noticed it was an old entry. Flicked through the pages and saw that the smut scenes progressively got more frequent and dabbled a little more in the dark side of things. 

His heart plummeted. Not just because your innocence was slowly peeling away, but because he too found himself getting a little interested by it. Especially one of the last entries of that notebook, where he found himself blushing hard enough to turn his normal skin to resemble that of rubies.

Yet, he couldn’t stop.

That was until he heard your voice yelling, "Seonghwa!"

Eyes like those caught in headlights, his large hands shut the book with lightning speed. But you had already caught him snooping.

"What are you doing with my notebooks?" You cheeks a dusty rouge from both the hot water and embarrassment, you snatched away the book from his hands.

"N-Nothing! It fell and opened up and I just..." He sighed, afraid that he'd already broken your trust. "I'm really sorry..."

Exhaling softly when you saw Seonghwa looking like some sort of scolded puppy, you reached on your tiptoes to ruffle his hair. Calms him down a little.

“What,” you cleared your throat to rid your voice of fear, “what did you read?”

Now how was he going to play this? Was he going to lie and say it was only one page, or would he say that he had a peruse through the whole thing? As you had caught him already, it would not be a bad idea to tell the truth. “Um...bits and bobs. Just skipped through, really. I’m sorry.”

Smiling softly, albeit a little awkwardly, you patted his shoulder comfortingly. “It’s fine, I just... didn’t... expect you to... find out this way.”

He chuckled nervously. “Well, I’ve know for about two weeks now, about your... writing.”

“What?!”

Jeong Yunho:

One problem that you have, is that now Yunho knew you wrote fanfics, you became sloppy with hiding it. Not like there was a real need to because--as mentioned--he knew about it. How you loved to write thrillers and suspense and all there strange wacky things you’d find on a documentary about dangerous people.

Though that didn’t mean you never wrote other things as well.

Your works were obviously for a certain age and above (not like the warnings you put matter because the underage ones read it anyway), so writing the occasional smut was normal for you.

In fact, you were comfortable with it. Your personal experience with Yunho, combined with the ones you read online, all fuelled your creativity. Unfortunately, now that you became more open, Yunho had more opportunities to read what you wrote.

Not like it mattered much, you thought, because the words in your google docs were pretty much ineligible from the phrases only you could decode.

Sadly, when it came to smuts (what you wanted in them and what you didn’t), there wasn’t really a way to hide what you were talking about.

So when your tall and rather innocent boyfriend took a sneak peak at your latest entry, he was smacked in the face with the bullet points on there:

Fake dating AU

Cunnilingus

Blindfolds

Size kink

Hand kink

Sir kink

Power play

Complacent sub

(Because for some goddamn reason, every Yunho smut I’ve seen had either a hand kink or size kink...not that I’m complaining tho--)

Was this the stuff you were into? Because he certainly never never knew it. Your sex life with him had been somewhat vanilla due to the fact it only recently started and both of you were still a little too shy to branch out and dabble in other things yet.

His only thoughts until he next saw you were about this. If you were channelling your frustrations into your writing, then he could help you, right? After all, he wasn’t against trying this stuff out. It was a learning experience he was willing to go through. For you.

So when you came back from work, he sat you down on the bed, very nervous with his large hands engulfing your own. Concern would be a drastic understatement.

“Y/N?” You hummed in reply, now thoroughly scared. “I just wanted to let you know... that I’m not afraid of...expanding our experiences and neither should you be.”

Your heart dropped into the abyss of your stomach. “Y-Yunho, are you breaking up with me?”

“Wait, what?” The confusion of this situation seemed rather familiar. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. I just...” he bit his lip, still quite shy. He really didn’t know how to say this outright.

So he showed you instead.

As your eyes fell on the document of your plan for the next smut scene you had to write, your face dropped. Horror was evident in every part of your expression and he could see that.

“Yunho, I--”

“Look, there’s nothing wrong with you wanting to try some of this,” he said, before bashfully looking out the same window you had when you had been discovered. “Besides... I wouldn’t object.”

Now that the both of your faces were redder than roses, the air had become slightly more...still and heavy.

“Listen, Yunho, just so you know, I don’t often write my own preferences. But I suppose trying new things is a bad idea...”

Kang Yeosang:

Almost a year had passed since your boyfriend had found out about your writing (through your clumsy cousin, no less) and you were careful as to what you showed him.

He often helped you through tough times like writer’s block, and understood your strange little habits. Even threw you an idea once in while whenever you were struggling to think of something or even took you out--restaurants, landmarks, whatever would help.

Yeosang was looking after you.

But now? Now, he pampered you.

That had you lowering your guard. He was being so kind, so why not let him read more?

Here’s ‘why not’:

Because he kept pushing his limits. Yeosang and you never had done anything, despite the fact that both of you were living together--by your request, since you had been in quite a few bad relationships where sex was a major factor. So, for the past two years, Yeosang had been alone in his endeavours.

All his intention was to find out what you were into. That was it, he swears. Thought it might at least curb the growing need to have you begging under him--or above him--just have a small glimpse as to what was in store. Maybe even have them as company when he really needed you.

Mission Impossible, is what this felt like, buttering you up, making you feel safe and comfortable (this came naturally since he always wanted you to feel this way with him, horny or not). You were like a fortress, always giving him more but not the stuff that he needed.

So he tried the same tactic he used to get you confess.

Truth or Dare (alone, obviously).

“Seriously? Last time we did it like this, you found out my rather embarrassing secret.”

“Just answer,” he pushed, watching you carefully as you climbed into bed next to him.

“Okay... truth,” you mumbled as you buried your body between his arm and chest.

“How about ‘dare’ this time?”

Your lips released a tired chuckled. “That’s not how this works, Yeosang...” But after a long few minutes of silence, you caved into his request. “Okay, fine. Dare,” you grumbled after saying something along the lines of, “if you wanted me to do something, then just ask.”

His lips brushed against the lobe of your ear, sending electric shocks down your spine. “I dare you to send me one of your smut fics.”

‘Surprised’ wasn’t really the word you would use to describe the immense shock that hit you like a train. “No.”

“Can’t go back on a dare.”

“But that’s even more embarrassing than having you read my normal fanfics...”

“No, it isn’t. Not to me, at least.”

“Yeosang,” you whined but as it became more and more clear that he would not give up as time passed on, you caved once more. Hesitant, you pulled out your phone to scroll through your works. What was the best one to send to him, you had no idea. “Can I at least ask why?”

“Because I want to get to know you more. All of you...” That one sentence had you more excited than you’d be willing to admit.

After all, it wasn’t just Yeosang who felt alone at nights (and sometimes days) for the past two years. Arguably, it was harder for you since you used to be very...active. Hence why you had such a selection to choose from right now--it was your outlet.

Perhaps it would be best to let him see the one that had you more bothered than anything after writing it--since he wanted to get to know that side of you as well.

Finally making a decision, you handed over your phone with bated breath. What would he think? Would he be weirded out? Would he not be into any of it?

For the boy, however, it was a completely different story; he was too into it. The more he read on, the worse his boner got until he looked physically uncomfortable.

Immediately seeing the discomfort on his face, it was as if your worries became reality. Hand reached out to snatch the phone from his hand but his reflexes were much quicker than yours, pulling the slab away as he kept on reading.

By the time he finished, his breathing was heavy and ragged.

This, sadly, had only made his situation worse. Only purpose this served was to make him crave you even more. Certainly didn’t help to have you leaning over him, soft, bra-less chest beneath thin, stretchy cotton of your shirt against his bare arm, trying to see if he was alright. Definitely had you concerned seeing his pained self.

“Are you okay?”

“Not really,” he humourlessly chuckled, “didn’t know it would affect me as much as it had...”

For some reason, you leaned further down and kissed him. Whether it was because of seeing his hooded eyes or feeling the tension in his muscles as he restrained himself against your body, you didn’t care. Relief was the first thing you felt, knowing that he was just as frustrated as you when you wrote it.

No, he was worse. You could tell by the feverish movement of his mouth against yours. You could tell by the harsh grip he had on your waist. You could tell by the stiffness poking your thigh.

Yeosang pulled away with as much willpower as he could muster, while your lips chased after his. “N-No, we can’t, remember?”

Huffing, you were thoroughly pissed off at the promise you made two years ago with him when you first started out dating. “Yeosang, look at me.”

His gaze was even more reluctant, knowing very well that it would be much more difficult to have the eyes he loved so much staring back at him with as much lust as he had clouding them. But he listened.

“That promise was there so I could get to know you and see if I want to commit to this relationship, long-term, and we’ve had two years to think it--which is long enough for me.” Each hand cupped his cheeks, pulling him closer for a peck since you couldn’t handle being that touch starved anymore. “So, screw me.”

Yeosang didn’t need to be told twice.

Choi San:

It had been a little over a month and San had still not dropped his admiration. Didn’t look as if that was going to change anytime soon either, especially with one of your recent updates.

Your current story had a lot of pent up sexual tension and all your readers (your boyfriend being no exception) were at the point of begging in the notes of each update.

Finally, you decided to take mercy on all the poor folks and finally write that one scene which had them crying with gratefulness at the end.

As it was a long-awaited scene, it had to live up to high expectations. While you could do the most tooth-rotting fluff ever, that wasn’t your style. This scene needed to fit the vibe of your series so the whole bit flowed nicely.

The problem was, everything you wrote was ‘too much’. Too much fluff. Too much kink. Too much basicness. Too much weirdness. Too much awkwardness. Too much cringiness.

Unfortunately, this put you in a bit of a pickle and you were close to losing your damn mind. On the other hand, San--the caring lover he was--had noticed. Wanted to do something nice for you, not just because he could clearly tell it was a bad case of writer’s block and he wanted to you to write more things he could read, but because it hurt him a little inside to see you this frustrated.

Requested a day of, which he got considering how hard he had been working, an spent that day as your personal servant. First up was breakfast in bed--fried egg (sunny side up), beans, buttered toast, hash browns and a tall glass of cold, hand-squeezed orange juice. Not to mention a shirtless San in plaid cotton pants, the only coverage his torso receiving was the pink apron he had on.

Kissed you on the forehead and told you to take your time, then get ready or a day out while he made lunch.

The next two meals went by in a similar fashion, where he had put so much love and care for everything to be perfect for you. Your favourite sandwich and a fruit salad, water and a chocolate chip cookie before a walk in the park where you both fed the ducks in one of the nearby lakes.

Later was dinner--arguably the best one out of them all. Steak with roast potatoes, and steamed vegetables (much to San’s dislike, but he withstood it for you). The day’s activity had you more than tired, cheeks aching slightly from smiling too much. Then again, you didn’t even notice because all you could think about was how lucky you were to land yourself such an amazing boyfriend.

Even after dinner, he continued to treat you like the royalty you were in his eyes. Offered a nice massage to relieve the past week’s tension all pent up in your poor muscles. It was innocent enough...

Until it wasn’t any more.

Despite the cloths thrown about everywhere on the bed, neither of you had motioned to clean up and San had instead opted to run you a bubble bath. Scented candles and all. It was more relaxing than you had imagined it to be, and by the time your face rested on San’s now-clothed torso--both of you wrapped snuggly up--you fell asleep.

The man loved the sight, and for once, he actually enjoyed running after you, making sure your every need was fulfilled whether you expressed it or not.

Because throughout the day, you were the happiest he had seen in a while, and all his efforts let up to this sight: you cuddled up close with that beautiful, enchanting smile faintly on your plush lips that he had so gently attacked not two hours ago.

He found himself loving you even more; a pleasant surprise as he had thought his cup was close to overflowing.

Two days later, he found himself falling even deeper when you had finally posted your latest chapter. San found himself grinning by the end of it--a little turned on, but more happy than anything.

Because San’s magic had worked. Cured your painful writer’s block since the words simply flowed as you typed the scene that had been causing you hell.

And whole chapter was awfully similar to that special day when San decided to take care of you.

Just tweaked a little so it would be more smut than it was fluff, adding just the right amount of sweetness that allowed your story to continue to flow perfectly.

Which was why San had been more joyous than usual the past week.

You were a perceptive person so you caught the change in his usual demeanour rather quickly. The source of it, however, was beyond you (he was good at hiding his knowledge of your secret). Any reason you tried to pin down on him was a little off.

Stress? No, he was too happy for that. Upcoming event? None that you knew of, and he shared everything of importance with you. Feeling happy just because? San was the more emotional out of the two of you and none of his moods lasted this long.

So what was it?

It was frustrating to say the least, but your boyfriend wasn’t letting it out. And you don’t think he ever will.

“Oh well,” you mumble, “can’t be that bad if he’s so happy...”

Song Mingi:

The boys had made a pact when they began to read your stories: no reading smuts with the group. This was fairly easy since they would normally be oneshots and you generally weren’t one to write them often into your series. On the odd occasion you did, you often put up a warning and explained straight after if there were any important bits.

All in all, very easy to avoid.

Mingi was a gigantic baby, and with babies, comes curiosity. A sense of need to know what’s happening. An insatiable thirst for knowledge and experience. Suppose what is trying to be said here is, is that Mingi wanted to read the explicit stuff you wrote.

What went on inside that wonderous brain of yours, he wanted to find out. But he couldn’t do that with the boys, nor did he want to. No chance in hell he was gonna be caught with an awkward boner.

Never would he live that one down.

So his plan commenced at night, when everyone in the dorms were fast asleep, he opened up his phone.

Now would normally come the dilemma of what to read, but Mingi is not that patient; as mentioned before, he is a giant baby. The first post he found that fit his criteria was the one that he read. Coincidently, that was result of your ‘experimental’ ones.

Using metallic things wasn’t something you had tried yet with Mingi, but you though you’d take it for a test run through your work to at least see it clearly how it would run if something like that was to happen. Sometimes, you found, it’s makes more sense to write it out rather to keep in your head.

On the other hand, Mingi didn’t really know that your writings stemmed from mild curiosity rather than what your really into (not that you would particularly mind trying some of it out). In his head, this was what you wanted to do.

He’d be lying if he said that the idea wasn’t much of a turn on, and the time he  spent trying not to make a sound loud enough to wake up the other members would prove that. To him, this is was your wish and he would gladly comply to it.

The next day, he decided to run along with the theme, but to also add in a few twists of his own. You often liked that, both in and out of the bedroom.

Went out to buy some new rings for you, larger ones decorated with pretty gems for his pretty baby (even though he was one himself). Handcuffs, too, were ordered online, and a silver-chain choker--he made sure to double check it was safe to use. Next up was a little metal ball--he got this idea from the pokey challenge and something called the ‘passion fruit kiss’ on snapchat. Either way, he was excited to try it.

Babies like Mingi, as mentioned, have little patience and so he wanted to try it out as soon as possible, so the moment everything came, he quickly sterilised everything and waited for you to come home.

Made sure each metal piece was cold to the touch by keeping it in the fridge, and had a rolled up black silk tie stuffed in his pocket to act as a makeshift blindfold.

Sensory deprivation was the ‘twist’ he wanted to put on, since you both had tried something similar before with ice cubes and that went quite well...until it became too cold for Mingi’s mouth and that plan had to be scrapped sooner--hence fridge, for a little bit of coldness.

When you finally arrived, he looked like an excited puppy, and you had no idea why. Until he spun you around and tied a soft cloth over your eyes. “Mingi, I’m really tired and I just--”

“Shhhhh,” Mingi lulled right next to your ear, warm breath fanning over the nape of your neck which felt more sensitive than usual, “trust me?”

Sigh escaping past your lips, because yes, of course you trusted him. And now that you felt slightly more awake from his action, maybe you were willing to hear him out. ”Baby, what are you doing?”

Chuckling that followed your question was deeper than normal. Had it always been like that or was it your mind playing tricks on you? Either way, he didn’t answer and all you had heard was the fridge opening.

“Seriously, baby, what are you doing?” Now you were just nervous, all intentions of a lazy evening down the drain as your heart sped up.

It closed, and shortly after your lips were met with his, a faint taste of strawberry attached to them. Then something smooth and cold slipped past from him to you.

The metal ball was passed between the two of you in a playful game of which only your boyfriend knew the rules of.

When he could tell your guard was down and now you became a little more comfortable, Mingi slowly took your hands behind your back.

You had not paid attention, but you should have. Cold, tight restraints pressed against your skin, shockwaves making you gasp from the low temperature. But Mingi kept on going, kissing you to ease your tension.

Two metal things, so there must be a third, right? You knew about people’s strange obsession with threes so you completely expected another cold metal object to come into play. But the question was, what?

You soon found out when a thick chain choker brushed against your neck, clasping around it snuggly. This was it. This was the third and final one. And your suspicions seemed correct when you had not felt another chilly accessory grace your skin.

You wouldn’t have, not when the coldest of all the items--the rings--were being slipped onto your boyfriend’s fingers. You were in for a surprise in just a few moment.

Needless to say, there was only one thought swirling around in your head.

Maybe he isn’t that much of a baby.

Jung Wooyoung:

Ever since Wooyoung found out your fanfics were not about him, but his favourite K-Pop band, BTS, he had been...difficult. Moping around, trying to play for your attention a lot more than normal, not letting you have some peace of quiet with your computer.

It was almost as if he was jealous. You knew how needy the boy could be, wanting skinship with you more than he did with San. Knowing that you were fawning over men that weren’t him had certainly done something to him.

But Wooyoung knew you were no-nonsense. The complete opposite of him. It was exactly why he fell for you, and it was exactly why he wasn’t being as petty as he wanted at the moment.

He knew deep down you were his and he was yours.

Then again, that still didn’t stop him from feeling jealous, and had even gone so far as to decrease the amount he listened to BTS’ songs--especially around you.

At first, you didn’t notice the change since Wooyoung was often spontaneous so his behavioural pattern was difficult to decipher. Eventually there came a point where the clinginess increased so much, you couldn’t feign ignorance anymore.

Looking back, maybe you should not have burst his bubble and let him think that your fanfics were about him... Actually, no; either way, the moment he found out about your hobby, it was going to be hell. But now you just feel bad.

Yet, you don’t feel bad enough to stop. You never actually fantasised about being with them--it was just fun to write about. Clearly, he didn’t understand.

Your boyfriend seemed to be at his tipping point when he came back to you after a long day of dance practices that went sideways, typing away intently on your computer.

This was his time. You usually spend time with Wooyoung when he came back, but you were too busy to comfort him in his desperate time of need. Too busy with fantasising about Taehyung’s large hands or Namjoon’s dimpled smile.

Wooyoung was as cute as Hoseok and Jungkook. He had a unique laugh like Seokjin and was as flirty as Jimin.

He had all your favourite qualities in a partner so why spend time thinking about other men? He was literally right there, begging for your attention and yet, now it seemed as if you gave him none (which wasn’t true since the only thing you’ve done is become less secretive about writing).

When his attempts at distracting you from writing had fail, he tried to see what exactly it was you were writing about. Unfortunately, you had tried to hid it from his sight; the only thing that helped in doing was pissing him off even further.

Only after a tough struggle did he finally see what you had been so focused on that you had neglected him.

It was more BTS fanfic, but this one was worse. This one had him fuming--skin hot red and ears pooling out steam. This one was smut.

It was about no other than Yoongi, and by God, was it a rough.

That was how you liked it, and so did Wooyoung. Probably why he was so angry while reading about mirror sex with one of his fellow idols; you were just twiddling your thumbs in the corner, not sure about how badly your boyfriend was going to burst.

Wooyoung, no matter how mad he was, he had to admit... it did turn him on. Although, he was a prideful boy--not liking how you thought about others and more importantly, how threatened he felt while reading it.

Suddenly realising that it wasn’t enough just being all the perfect parts you liked (even if it came naturally to him).

He had a point to prove; Wooyoung could go beyond your wildest fantasies--and boy was it a wild fantasy.

Throwing your phone haphazardly somewhere (making you wince in prayer that it was not broken), your boyfriend gripped you by the wrist and dragged you across the room. You had barely enough time to realise what he was doing, only feeling a cold surface against your back as his lips ravished yours.

At some point, he broke away--lips swollen and slightly more red than normal. To say the sight had not affected you more than you already were would be a lie.

Still not giving you enough time to speak, Wooyoung turned you around so you could finally see what he had you pressed against.

A mirror.

If an idea of what he was planning hadn’t dawned on you, having his fingers tug at your clothes certainly gave you one now. His free hand had clasped around your jaw, making you look right into your reflection, seeing how your boyfriend’s lips were dangerously close to your ears as he looked at you dead in the eye through the mirror.

“Let me show you that I can be better than your imagination. Let me show you that you need to think about no one but me. Let me show you how good you’ll feel and who is the sole reason behind it.”

Yes, Wooyoung has all your favourite qualities in a partner while exceeding all expectations. That’s why you’re dating him.

Choi Jongho:

Ever since the release of your first movie and publication of the book it was based on, your career had blossomed. Finally, you quit the job that had been draining the life out of you to work full time at the publishing company.

Everyone around you could tell you were much happier, and the one who noticed it the most was Jongho.

Sure, your eyes were less sunken in, your cheeks more red, your step more bouncy. But he could feel that you changed on the inside too.

Your smile didn’t feel so forced after you came back from work and he had asked you how the day was. Now, your boyfriend found himself talking less and listening more to what you had to say.

If there was an expression more powerful to describe how he loved this happier version of you, he would use it in a heartbeat.

Sure, there were still times when the both of you couldn’t hang out as much as you would like to, but that was always in the job description, and the both of you were more than happy with it as long as the bed had both of you in it at the end of the day, both metaphorically and literally.

Then came along your second movie deal of a completely different story. In fact, it was based upon a movie you had watched at the time, and you hated it so much that you simply redid the entire thing.

In fact, it had irked you to the point no one could even tell it was based off of something since you had changed so much of it. However, there were still concepts you kept in the story--intimate scenes, for example (even if they too were completely changed).

You wrote such concepts before, and you would continue to do so since it was just interesting to write. Jongho, however, did not know about it.

At all.

So once your second movie was released, he was in for a surprise.

It was miraculous how terrible your memory was, since you had forgotten that you had not told him about the scene that would come up as you both watched it at home just before it’s release in the cinemas.

‘Surprise’ wasn’t really the word Jongho would use when it did come up, nor would it be ‘shock’. He was... mildly curious? Not that either... Well, all he knew that whatever he was feeling was not overwhelming.

“Did you know they changed this scene?” you spoke up.

“Really?”

Humming, you nodded your head. “They said the original scene was... Let’s just say they thought it was ‘too much’.” Then you scoffed under your breath. “Don’t know why they thought that though. It was fairly vanilla. Just some wall sex is all,” you confessed.

Now he felt a little overwhelmed. But he was mainly amused. “I don’t remember doing that with you.”

“Hmm? Oh... that’s because we didn’t.”

Chuckling under his breath, he cocked his head to the side, the paused scene in the background long forgotten. “Have you ever wanted to try it?”

“Once upon a time. Suggested it to my ex once before but he couldn’t lift me up since I was ‘way too heavy’,” you recalled with air quotations. “Didn’t bother trying after that.” You laughed at the memory, finding it to be hilarious back then and even now.

But your boyfriend on the other hand had not. In fact, he was no longer amused.

He was pissed.

It wasn’t about the fact that you had mentioned your ex--he never felt even remotely threatened by him. It was because he had called you heavy. He called his precious darling ‘heavy’. And you just laughed.

That was who you were--no matter how mean another person was being to you, you took it as a joke and moved on. You saw no point in dwelling over the bad, and that was one of the many genuine things he had fallen for. This time was different; it annoyed him.

Sure it might have been a dumb little memory for you, yet simply hearing about it had his blood boiling.

“Get up.”

“Wha--why?” The dark look in his eye had your lips sealing within the second. As if on autopilot, your body stood from the sofa you two were so comfortably perched on.

He followed you up, wrapping his hands around the back of your thighs, which only meant one thing. “Jongho--no. You won’t be able to.”

“Am I or am I not the strongest man you’ve ever met?”

“You are, but--”

“‘But’ I don’t care.” Forcefully, he lifted you up as you yelped, legs wrapping around his waist. “See? I can pick you up completely fine.”

Scanning his face, you saw that what he said was true. He picked you up as if you were as light as a feather, no tension in his neck, face, or arms to suggest he was having a hard time either.

It had you leaning against him, forehead touching forehead, laughing even more than you did before. Smile once again etched on his face, Jongho pecked your lips, walking slowly with you in his arms.

“Now shush and let me fuck you against the wall.”

[scone-lover]

Happy Birthday to Holding Out For a Hero!!! ❤️

art by @subparselkie

I published the first chapter of my longest and most popular fic just about a year ago! And I bet you always wanted to see some shitty outlines. Right? Just giving the people what they want. My brain is chaos and now you all have to be subject to it. Strap in, boys. ���� Everything’s below the cut!

Read Holding Out for a Hero on AO3

This fic was born because I saw a tumblr post about a hero and villain who are roommates and I just had to Snowbazzify it. I had so many random ideas in my brain, and I’d been engaging with fan content for the CO fandom for a few months now.

So I started off by opening a blank document and writing the Prologue, featuring Shep. I had a few basic facts in mind: Shepard’s a reporter, Simon’s a hero, Baz is a villain, Mage is an evil mayor. And that’s. Literally it. I made it up as I went along. I actually still do that with fics, even though I do try to outline in more detail now—I have to write a scene or two that’s been bouncing around in my head to get a feel for the story, then I can give it a direction.

The document is 337 pages on google docs, LOL. 

Here’s the first ever set of notes I had. I wrote this on March 29, 2020, directly after typing out the Prologue! 

Like I said, absolute chaos. The third Simon bullet point originally said something like “also I’m a superhero and only Penny knows,” then the following day I changed it to “but he’s so handsome? what do???” 

I didn’t publish the prologue until writing 5-6 additional chapters, but I think the only major change was going from Baz being “The Vampire” to just “Vampire.”

Chapter 1 was originally called “not a bloody avenger” before I decided to do the rhyming thing. I actually decided that because I wrote “counter spray and earl grey” down for chapter 2, unintentionally rhyming it, and then @ashspren-writes was like, “you should make them all rhyme”... so I did. 😂 For 25 more chapters.

I have a section labeled “quickie backgrounds” in which I finally sat down halfway through writing Chapter 2 (the blade/vamp fight) and said to myself, okay, maybe they should have backstories or something. Or like, reasons for being the hero and villain. Right, yeah, those would be good to make this into a coherent story. In the first version of that, Simon was a sports coach on the side, not a baker, and Baz was an English teacher. LOL. 

Once I had all that, I literally just wrote for four days. There’s a weird kind of magic to your first-ever fic for a fandom. All your ideas and thoughts and wishes for these characters comes to a head as you suddenly have an outlet for the first time. It’s why I think people’s first works are often their best or most creative or most profound. The first couple chapters took some time and a couple 1am epiphanies, but once I got into a rhythm it was quick going. I wrote a lot of it in a linear manner, but after writing the first Simon/Baz scene (watching the news together in the flat), I doubled back and added Simon going to Penny’s house after meeting the Mage so that I could work her in as a character earlier.

Fast forward to April 5, I had 5-ish chapters written? I thought this fic would have like... 10 total. And be less than 20k. Haha. Ha. I asked @ashspren-writes to beta read for me - I’d been bouncing ideas off her since the beginning - and then I started brainstorming titles. 

The list actually started with that second one. It took a whole 24 hours to decide on the final title. 😂 I thought it might be too cheesy. But hey, it worked out -- now I can’t open AO3 without the damn song getting stuck in my head. 

I worked a LOT with my friend @ashspren-writes on this fic - we were friends long before fandom, and she was the only person I knew at the time who had read CO and was involved in the fandom. I didn’t even have a tumblr at this point, I interacted mostly through Instagram and AO3!

On April 6, right before I posted, I realized that if I was going to actually put this on AO3 I should probably know where the story was going. So I made sure Chapters 1-6 were complete, then I wrote one bullet point per chapter up until 12 or so -- you can read those below.

Then I texted ashspren THIS mess:

Some silly notes:

Then I have a section that says “Why do they even have roommates?” because it was a few chapters in and I hadn’t justified richboy Baz and superhero Simon... living together. Cool cool cool

I also did this cool little writing experiment I want to share. Remember that line in Fangirl that’s like—“Once Cath wrote what she thought was a swordfight, and Wren turned it into a love scene.” (Or maybe it was the other way around? LOL.) Anyway, there’s swordfights in this, AND love scenes, so I wanted to do a play on that for two alternate ways Simon might figure it out.

I have a huge Deleted Section in which I wrote an alternate version of Simon and Baz finding out about their secret identities. I have one version where Baz figures it out first—it’s a very tropey yet angsty scene where Simon comes home totally wrecked from a fight, and Baz realizes as he’s helping with the wounds that he caused them. I actually like it a lot, but it ended up not quite fitting with the vibe of the fic (and I rather like them finding out through kissing better). :) I also had an idea where Simon figures it out because Vampire smells like cedar and bergamot, but it really just wasn’t interesting enough. 😂

Now onto... Outlines. 

I say that hesitantly because I think these are literally a disgrace to outlines everywhere. These are the baby ones I wrote on April 6 right before posting. Some are more detailed than others, clearly...

Gotta live up to my username somehow. 

We do love to see it. ​

I love this next one: 😂 CHAOS, SCONEY.

THEN, I wrote this as a very long text to ashspren, when I realized no sconey, this is not going to be under 20k words. LOL. 

And then I did A Dumb Thing and I put it on AO3, having absolutely NO CLUE WHERE THE STORY WAS GOING. 😂 

This is my favorite heading on the document.

Another one of my favorite notes in there.

This next part wasn’t even divided into chapters yet, it’s just a word vomit. I’m so sorry you have to read this mess.

Hahaha, once upon a time there was angst in this story. 😂 

And then I realized my true calling: bakery fluff.

Then and only then, I actually decided to divide into those things called Chapters. This is the point where I made the admission to mr scone (boyfriend, not husband lol, we just call him that) that I write gay fanfiction, whoops, and can he please help me because he’s a HUGE DC comics fan and knows everything. And of course, he was super chill about it, and he did. He really did. He’s the genius behind Egghead!!! And also the entire Mage-Humdrum-Supercomputer/Politics plot. I’m serious. I did none of that.

I can’t even say I’m trying anymore. “Flort”??? I AM LITERALLY NOT TRYING.

Why yes sconey, so very specific. 😂 

This is what qualifies as a “good” outline for me, that heading was just for my betas. Isn’t it fabulous to see that some of this actually made it in and I’m capable of planning in advance? 😂 

Get ready for the shock of your life, though -- I actually have a SUUUUPER detailed outline for the two finale chapters. Because, well, it’s the finale. Wrapping up loose ends does actually require planning, WHO KNEW. Also I’d been writing and posting for a couple months at this point and it had been several more weeks in quarantine so maybe I’d regained some sense of reality? It’s like two pages but still shittily written, so I’ll just share a couple tidibits.

That bullet point is extraordinarily cracky BUT actually, Baz shooting up from the cloud like an awesome fucking hot dramatic person was one of the very first scenes I envisioned for this fic :D 

I hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my writing brain! It’s a terrifying place. I love all of you that say Holding Out For a Hero is a well-crafted masterpiece, but respectfully, no ❤️ 

(Though I swear I AM super, super happy with how it turned out - it’s still my favorite thing I’ve ever written. Read it here!!!)

[b-rainlet]

📓📓📓📓

- the-scarecrxw

(Since you sent 4 of those emojis I'm gonna go off but I'll stick to one in this answer and make seperate posts for the others aksnsns)

I can't give you anything Jonathan centric (that isn't Tommy/Jonathan, one of my fave rarepairs) but Jerome features in lots of my AUs.

This one is one of my faves that's entirely self-indulgent and if it ever gets written it's probably gonna be the longest fic I ever published (Again: If it ever gets written):

I gotta apologize in advance, it's just a fun little AU I haven't put too much thoughts into in terms of plotting so this is gonna be A. Long, B. Messy and C. A little chaotic

- First off, you gotta understand that @nsfwitchy2 Me had some fun with a pretty nonsensical and definitely not canon-compliant AU where Jerome and Jeremiah have three Mums (Tabby, Lee and Barbara, who all date) and live with them and Barbara Lee as their little sister.

- Ecco also lives with them, she sees herself as both the twins' gf more than a genuine part of the family tho (for now)

- (Meanwhile at Wayne Manor Alfred and Jim date and are very tired parents of Bruce and his clone 514A, in this AU - and pretty much every AU - nicknamed Brook)

- (Selina kinda goes back and forth between living at Wayne Manor or at Lee's place)

- Also, everyone dates. The twins. The clones. Eccomiah, Jecco, Batcat, Valeyne, Wayleska, they're all fucking

- Which isn't THAT important for this particular AU but I figured I'd give a warning xD

- This is mostly my attempt to give Tabitha some more backstory? Just...how I personally see her character and how I could see her end up if things would've went differently after S2

- The google docs file is called 'How Tabitha started being a Mum while disregarding canon completely' lmao

- Like her current life involves having 4 kids (if you count Selina) and two wives and that's a hell of an AU and I just like to overthink things and play with the way things would have needed to have gone in canon to have her 'end up' like this

- Also I can see her struggling with having a family all if a sudden (that isn't a manipulative brother or a weird cult)

-Especially if that involves Motherhood

- So on one hand it's a 'S2 until now' fic, explaining what happened to her in my canon

- But also - mostly because I find that easier to organize in my brain - it's interwoven with a 5+1-esque fic of all her children calling her 'Mum' (and her getting emotional over that)

- So it switches back and forth between the past and the present but for rambling's sake, I'll start with the past

- She still leaves Theo behind and flees with Silver but she keeps Silver close instead of immediately sending her away

- And her and Silver get taken in by Fish after they leave Theo because they have nowhere to go and Fish loves taking care of strays

- (Fish, who probably didn't end up in Indian Hill but rather lives in hiding until she is ready to strike against Penguin)

- She refers to herself as Liza's Mother in canon, you can't tell me she wouldn't instantly adopt Tabby and call her 'Honey' and give her motherly advice while Tabby tries to be all bite but actually enjoys somebody taking care of her for once

- Selina🤝Tabby

'Trying so very hard all the time to not show how soft and insecure they are'

- Actually, I'd start diverting from Canon even sooner aksnsjd

- Well not full on changing canon, but I'd...pepper in some stuff

- Like some scenes of her back with Theo and the Maniax

- Mostly her talking to Theo about Jerome's planned murder, which, yeah, she knows it's been set in stone from the beginning but that doesn't mean that she isn't talking about alternatives where he doesn't get killed off

- And Theo's like "Don't tell me you're going soft. No one will miss him. He was just a boy. Not worthy enough to be remembered."

- And later on she betrays him and goes 'I remember him'

- Anyway, they stay with Fish for a while but Tabby doesn't wanna keep Silver in Gotham

- So she sends her back to the school she went to before coming to Gotham with Theo (but makes sure their weird cult can't get their hands on her there)

- And Silver wants her to come with but Tabby says she has some unfinished business

- Aka she just doesn't wanna leave Barbara (who is in a coma atm, if Memory serves right)

- And Tabby's reasoning is that it's not safe in Gotham but really, she thinks she can't be responsible for another person

- "She needs a mother. A Family. I can't give her that." - "You are her family."

- So Silver's out of the picture and Tabby hangs with Fish until Barbara wakes up and they get together again (and never ever seperate)

- Also there's no Butch/Tabby because that was unnecessary as fuck

- And I gotta be honest, I haven't thought more about canon because Butch/Tabby alone makes my head hurt already but somehow they start dating Lee

- Who brings Jerome into the relationship because I sure am fond of Lee being Jerome's Mother (like as in, I have several wips with that concept alone not counting this one)

- Jerome probably came back to life after S3 and Lee fought to have him not be treated like a violent criminal but rather a child who was taken advantage of and after his release from Arkham (where she visited him and made sure he got some proper treatment) it seemed natural to have him live with her

- (But also he's still a criminal aksnsjs, you can see how much I thought about this)

- (Sue me for sticking to the heartfelt scenes and avoiding the mess that is plotting)

- Tabby and Barbara already had Selina and through Jerome, Jeremiah and Ecco were added et voila! Their Family is complete

- (Why exactly Barbara Lee exists if Tabby and Barbara have been non-stop dating since S2 I can't tell you, I simply think she is neat and I like the idea of big brother Jerome)

- (This AU? Self-indulgent? Why would you ever think that?)

- In the present however she is dealing with what is mostly referred to as 'feelings'

- Mostly panic at realizing that the bunch of weird children she's been living with are seeing her as some kind of parental figure

- Because suddenly they all call her 'Mum'

- Unsurprisingly the first one to call her Mum is Jerome at breakfast

- She's reading the newspaper and there's an article about a hostage situation the twins planned and he goes 'Mum, are you done with that? Can we see?'

- And they snatch it from her and argue about how they didn't even make the front page while Tabby nearly chokes on her coffee

- And of course she breaks down talks to her wives about it later while they get ready for bed because no one ever called her 'Mum' before

- Barbara's braiding her hair, while Lee's off to the side, getting ready for bed and it's very domestic and I am very gay

- But neither see it as a big deal because both of them have been called Mum before (by Jerome at least. Like. Immediately upon meeting them)

- So she's trying to be nonchalant about it because it's only a big deal if she makes it one

- While also not being able to deny the warm feeling that spreads throughout her body when Jerome keeps calling her 'Mum'

- Miah and Selina on the other hand are both hesitant to call anyone Mum

- Miah cause of Pride, Selina cause of her Mummy Issues

- But they both do at some point

- I think I have more notes on this SOMEWHERE but I kinda wanna have Miah call her Mum while he's ill (because we all know he'd be super fussy and want attention 24/7)

- So she humours him and while he's close to falling asleep - and she's totally not carding her fingers through his hair because she isn't soft or anything - he mumbles: "Thank you Mum" and she melts

- Selina would be more angsty

- Like, maybe it's her birthday and she disappears for a while (as she tends to do) but Tabby (who's closest to her) knows how hard this day is for her (since again her Mum isn't there with here and looks for her and brings her back home but doesn't make a big fuss out of her birthday

- Just...lets her be, gives her space but also lets her curl up close to her and maybe Selina doesn't call her Mum on that exact day

- But it's the day she realizes she wouldn't mind calling Tabitha her Mother, so she hesitantly tries it out a while later (maybe days, maybe weeks, however long it takes for her to feel comfortable with it) and they share a smile

- Then there's Barbara Lee, but she barely counts because she's a toddler and calls everyone 'Mummy'

- Even her father ajsnsnsn

- The last one would be Ecco because I have a very soft spot for Tabby and Ecco being close

- Ecco's rather formal with them for the longest time (she calls Barbara, Lee and Tabby 'Ma'am' for the most part because she may like them, but she doesn't think they see her as family. She's just the token girlfriend).

- So there's a scene where they connect, possibly over Tabby's hand and Ecco's head since I hc that Ecco gets headaches and migraines a lot (considering that she still gets shot in the head by Miah, like I said, this AU isn't necessarily the most bullet proof in terms of linear timelines)

- But so is Gotham so-

- So there's possibly a scene where Ecco's headache is getting super bad and no one's around (especially not Miah to dote on her) and Tabby awkwardly tries to bond by telling her about her hand and how she can't feel much (is a little clumsy with it) and Ecco immediately imprints on her like a duckling

- Maybe it's even the first time anyone reached out to Ecco in a way that feels genuine, especially without the twins or any of her (various) other partners being present so now she's willing to die for Tabby

- Which ends in her also calling her 'Mum' (while she keeps calling Lee and Barbara 'Ma'am' and Lee's so mad ajsnsjdj she was trying so hard to bond with this kid but couldn't quite get it right and you're telling her her socially pretty clumsy - but still wonderful of course - wife managed with just one conversation?? Slander

- And of course because I can't stop myself, there would be even more tidbits here and there of Tabby overcoming her previous way of living (as in, thinking caring or showing emotions is weakness) by having her reminisce a LOT about Theo

- For example by having Jerome climb into bed with her while Barbara's sleeping and Tabby is waiting for Lee to come home

- Lee works as a doc in the narrows which may be a little illegal, but the people didn't just stop needing help after her Queen of the Narrows arc was over, so I vote she keeps at it (and is held in very high regard for it by pretty much everyone)

- Tabby always stays up until everyone is home because she likes knowing where everyone is and that they're safe while Jerome has frequent nightmares and wanders around the house, so this isn't a rare occurrence

- And sometimes, they talk Theo

- "You miss him?" - "Don't know."

- "I wish he was still alive so I could kill him." - "....Me too." - "Which one?" - "...Both."

- (ajajsbssj this is all just copy pasted and cleaned up a lil', leave me and my pretentious way of writing dialogue alone)

- Tabby also has a lot of interludes where she thinks about what growing up with Theo was like/her childhood in general

- How she always protected him from other children bullying him and how they swore to have each other's back but how in hindsight, she was the one doing all the dirty work for him, helping him fulfill his dream and enact his revenge

- Realizing that he probably never cared for her, not like she cared for him

- There's also allusions to them having sex because you cannot tell me they did NOT have sex

- And it ends with Tabby realizing that she is quite happy with how she ended up, even if it's neither how she thought she would ever live nor what her old self would've even wanted, possibly seeing too many attachments as 'weak' judging by the way she canonly used Butch for convenience sake at first

- And yeah, maybe now she can provide the family - the Mother - somebody else desperately needs

- So she brings Silver home

[shesawriter39049]

|GOD SAVE THE QUEEN|M|JH|

(Does he not look like he should be scaleing a damn window?!)

SMUT/ ANGST

Pairing: Hitman Hoseok & Mob Boss OC

Genre: Mob/Mafia/Organized Crime/Drug cartels/Established/unofficial but lowkey official couple...

WC-10K (A good 3-4 of it is smut btw) 

___________________________________________________________

 “I’m going to fall a fucking part, and so will my families empire and then what!? WHO the fuck are they going to blame then!? Huh? Definitely not my damn brother, he’s too coked out to even tie his fuckign shoe laces neverthless run the family business!”

________________________________________________________________

Note- This is old...I have a TON of mob/mafia-related “Pilot” chapters as I call them..stashed in my google Docs! This is a heaverier/ agngisterst read by the way, not a downer but just heavy ya know? It works just fine as a stand alone, but by the end of it you can tell that when I initially wrote it I was setting it up to be a series! One that would eventually involve the other boys as well, so there is some backstory!

________________________________________________________________

Hoseok;s tatted, and just radiates soft dom energy…and tbh that’s all we need in this world

The OC is stressed, and needs a damn hug...the end!

Warnings: (Nonsexual- Strong language, mentions of guns, drugs/drug use and addictions, violence and mentions of chronic illness..not pertaining to Hoseok though)  

Warnings- Soft Dom Hoseok, breathe play, slight pain kink(very minimal prep before sex...by choice) overstimulation, handjobs, light come play, spit play, chill dirty talk....unprotected sex.Semi public sex-ish(in her office while the guards are outside the door...)

______________________________________________________________

Hibiscus island, Miami Florida 8PM 

‘Alright, so I’m looking at about, a half kilo of snow, hmmm, maybe a little over a quart of skag and a couple hundred Tabs of Molly…”

The line went dead on the receiving end causing the man in question to attempt the phrase again…maybe his connection was bad?

“Helll-lo? Boss I said I-”

“I heard you. Was there a an actual question in there somewhere or where you just letting me know your eyes still work?” The level of just…. dry...that fell from his tongue just now….

“Well I-umm no.No...I just wasn't told exactly what was being retrieved from the plane so I just wanted to make sure this was accurate and noth-”  The scoff that rung through the other end was borderline humiliating, as if to imply there's no way in hell he could even think this was “accurate”.

“No Mark, it’s far from accurate, but what you see in front of you is what’s there…”

Ahhh, so that explains his happy go lucky sunshine personality at the moment.

“Okay, well I’ll have this sorted and get the plane sterilized, am I sending this down to the west wing for a quality check first or is this just being disbursed to the runners?”

A deep agitated goan rattled in his throat, god whyyyy does everybody have so many questions today!?

“Just-just put it in one of the storage units for now, I’ll deal with it later” Hanging up the call before any more questions could be rendered because he honestly didn't have the patience to even pretend like he cared right now! The minute the call dropped his phone buzzed indicating he’d receive about his 8th text in a row from a person he’s a second away from releasing a full barrel face on! 

It took every ounce of self control not to just let the phone slip out of his hand and shatter against the patternized stone walkway swirling beneath his feet!

Clearly,Hoseok’s not in a good mood, like, at all...there’s just so much floating through his mind right now he’s practically running out of space to even breathe! 

He’s tired, Irritable, that earth-shattering smile of his is nowhere to be found, instead it appears to have been replaced by a semi-permanent snarl. Oh, and the best part, Germany, yeah that was a complete and utter shit show. It was supposed to just be a simple negotiation in regards to you guys expanding to a new territory. Yet he feels like the last thing he did was actually talk, I mean fuck palms still feel as though they’ve been damn near rubbed raw at this point.  Hours, that’s how long it took to rid his otherwise delicately stealth hands of their custom crimson overlay! And to make life even better, he’s the one who has the pleasure of sitting down and debriefing the whole failed mission to you! 

So yay, he loves that for himself...truly…

 Everything just feels heavy, his head, heart hell, even his spirit at his point! Feet dragging through the opulent Medetriann style courtyard as if they weigh more than he did. The only thing that somewhat has Hoseok in a decent mood was you, the fact that he’d be able to see you in person after what felt like 6 years, which in all actuality was a little shy of 5 days! 

Easing his way through oversized dual french doors, into an area that essentially acted as the east wing's  “Lobby” if you will, panes of white walls, and thick black arched windows framed the entryway. The dim lighting hanging from the cast iron chandelier gave the effect that the stark white walls were almost glowing against the moonlight peeking in. My point? The atmosphere appears calm at first glance, warm..inviting...everything Hoseok needs it to be right now because again he’s NOT in the mood for bullshit. All he’s dealt with over the past 120 some odd hours was bullshit! Hint’s why your European connect is a good, meh, four soldiers down at the moment!

I can’t say Hoseok had a specific…”Greeting” in mind upon strolling back into the compound tonight…..

However, what I can guarantee is the soundtrack that is you going full hulk mode in your office, while your guards stood outside looking like bats outta hell, definitely wasn’t high on his list! The men stationed at the security desk were already whipping their heads around before he even pulled the door open. Ah the beauty of cameras, at this point they weren’t sure what was worse. You, playing whack a mole behind the wall or Hoseok’s reaction once he put two and two together! 

It takes all of 3 steps before another piece of something glass and undeniably expensive shatters against the wall. Accompanied by a loud grunt on your behalf, voice breathy and fragile, which lets him know you’ve been at this for a while. 

The level of just, exhaustion he could hear heaving from your throat is what had him more alarmed than anything else. The fact that you clearly didn’t have the self-control to tell your body to stop…which isn't like you at all! I mean fuck, how long have you been in there?! Hoseok’s heart was beating so loud he could hear it pulsing through his ears! 

“What the fuck did you guys do?!” The first and only thing to leave his lips as he huffs towards the control desk. The guard initially stationed in front of the camera’s, rolled his seat to the far left within seconds. Allowing his superior the space to do whatever he needs, they heard Hoseok’s mouse make about 1 good click before…

“Fuckkkkk” Cursed from his lips with enough depth to bounce off every surface in the room. There was an additional gruffness laced within his tone due to lack of sleep.. which almost made the sound more initiating, borderline animalistic. Hoseok’s voice actually broke towards the end, the growl dying on his tongue before it even started. Head bowing towards the monitor as he rocked forward, attempting to re-center himself. Keyword there….”Attempting”

Precipitously, there’s another sound rattling the air and no, it’s not another object flying against the wall ,it’s Hoseok’s fist...right into the marble desktop! Yup, there are no cameras in your office...why? Because you and the man in question have no fucking self-control...which suddenly he’s really, really regretting! Well, actually, there are cameras, however they can only be turned on from inside the office,and he already knew you turned the feed off! That’s why he’s on 10 because he can’t see you..at all! You could be hurting yourself in the process and he’d have no idea! The entrance to your office is camouflage for obvious reasons, to naked eye one wouldn't even know there was an office!

Even as your consigliere Hoseok didn’t ask for much, never has, not a big fan of relying on others to handle his needs...hmm wonder why he got to that point. Still, an unspoken rule of thumb when he leaves..is it’s every mother fucker's job within the compound, hell even the damn birds that frequent the garden! Everyone, needs to do their part to make sure he dosen’t come back to this..especially with the way things have shifted internally as of late! 

And by “This” I mean you having a mental breakdown in your office, because you aren’t one to just break shit for shits and giggles! This isn’t how you deal with a transaction going south, or a distributor sending over a bad strand of coke.. something’s wrong..really fucking wrong! 

Silent, dead silent, that's what Hoseok was, and that was utterly terrifying, your men knew to give him his space, that he’d address them when he’s ready. All the while carefully observing the way his fingers twitched anxiously next to one of the soldier’s guns, before wrapping his hand around the trigger. Teeth grinding together hard enough to crack a molar, repeating his initial question…

 “What. The. Fuck. Did you guys do?” Gritted through clenched teeth as he paced the gun between the three men standing in the lobby. Not even remotely concerned that he was outnumbered because they all looked petrified...as they should….clearly patience was the very last thing he had tonight. 

“Ugh, nothing we-” Click….there goes the sound of the safety, all of three words and a staggered pause in….

Hoseok’s stance never faltered, eyes blazing into the youngers with such intensity it took everything in him not to divert his gaze away from his superior. Head cocked to the side, jaw clenched painfully tight, you can actually visibly see it twitch. The slight arch in his brow let the guard know that was the wrong damn answer and this wasn’t multiple choice, it’s fill in the blank! So he’s got about one more try before this gun goes off, and suddenly you lot will have yourselves a red accent wall! 

“Hoseok, I swear we really-” Coyly swaying from behind the desk, edging his way closer and closer, to the dumbass that still hasn’t figured out how to properly answer the question. Connecting the gun to the side of his head, shoving the lackey against the wall in the process, there was an oddly calming aura radiating off his body right now. Which was clearly in strong contrast to what was currently taking place...and that’s because this..isn’t new to him anymore. The act of taking one’s life doesn’t weigh on his heart the way it used to and maybe that makes him a monster or..maybe it makes him damn good at his job. 

This was simple honestly, if they're not the reason for said breakdown then tell him what is. Not excuses as to why it wasn’t them because clearly that won’t get him any damn where now will it?

“Fuck-...she-she went and saw her dad!” Bingo! He all about choked on that…

 “ ...and she’s been like that ever since...I swear! I swear!” Hands above either side of his head,  shaking like a leaf in the wind, Hosoek could practically see his Adam’s apple bobbing against this throat, as he backed away. 

The shift within the air was palpable, they could’ve gotten whiplash from how quickly his eyes inverted, from pure rage to pain and concern. Shoulders slouched in on themselves as he released a shaky breath from his lungs, staggering backward as he ruffled his fingers through his jet black locks. Almost appearing somewhat winded by the update that he already kinda braced himself for honestly. 

“Fuck”  The word hushed from his lips so faint he doubts any of the men even heard him. Eyes fluttering shut briefly, his opposite hand rested on the bridge of his nose. Squeezing unnecessarily, tight, intentionally re-inflicting the pain he felt maneuvering through his chest!  It wasn’t even a full 30 seconds before he heard something else shatter into pieces, instantly snapping him back to reality, forcing him to reroute his thoughts. 

“How long…” There was a sudden dryness laced within his delivery as if he really didn’t want to know the answer.

“About a hour...or so….” 

“And I’m assuming she insisted on going alone?” No even bothering to make eye contact as a hushed “Yes..” fell from the guards lips. A low hum rang in the back of his throat while his eyes outlined the patterns within the marble, silently trying to pull his shit together before he made his next request….

“Override the security, and buzz me in….” The guards couldn’t help but feel a little shell shocked at how, monotoned, and emotionless his delivery was. One minute they could feel every once of his frustration without Hoseok even opening his mouth! Suddenly, it was like he’d completely removed himself from the entire conversation. Initially, his lack of patience steamed from other bullshit but now, none of that mattered, Germany, the drug deal, none of that even scratched the surface, all that matters right now is you. 

“Boss I don’t thin-”

Gaze slowly rising from the desk, cold, and somewhat feral, not quite sure why he’s being questioned, but right now, but it's definitely not the time! Bringing his nine back level with the guard in question, Hoseok didn’t have to say anything, his middle finger caressing the trigger said it all, expression blank. Gaze daring him to do anything but, buzz his superior in as he asked..nothing more, nothing less. 

Within seconds the center wall which at first glance just looked like a block of white Statuario marble started to shift, exposing all the shattered pieces of decor on the ground. Not even attempting to warn you first because he knew you’d tell him to leave. So instead, he took a deep breath, dropped the gun back onto the desk, cracked his neck a couple times, braced himself, and stepped inside. 

_________________________________________________________

Ya know, if circumstances were different the site in front of him could actually be somewhat comical. You, standing in the middle of this obnoxiously large gilded office, all dolled up in your heels, tight little LBD, dawning every curve on your body. A wrist full of Cartier and Bvlgari,hair curled...looking like you’re ready for a night on the town. Yet, instead of sitting in the middle of some 5-star restaurant drinking aged Scotch your in here. Angry, winded and breaking shit...really expensive shit at that! 

However, there was nothing even remotely humorous in regards to the reason behind your sudden rage. Honestly, it broke his heart to see you like this! Yes, the heart that most barely believed he truly had, but that’s neither here nor there, the people that matter know it threw and threw. Hoseok could feel the anger radiating off your skin even from where he stood. You were ablaze, nothing but utter rage, doused from your pores, but what made it even worse was the blatant desperation underneath it all. 

Every scream just seemed more and more broken...sure maybe he’s a hypocrite, he breaks shit all the time when he’s angry, hell people and objects included.  But you....this wasn’t you..and this wasn’t a healthy way for you to cope! To be real the only reason he stood there so long was because he needed a second to pull his shit together! The longer he stared at you the more his chest tightened, eyes burned like hell. His fingers twitched at his side trying to resist the urge to just come grab you, but he knew better. 

Sure, in most people's eyes, and by most I mean 99.9% of the population, you’d be the farthest thing from an angel! You lost any ounce of purity yearsss ago, still, in his eyes..there’s no one more untainted then you where it counts! And that’s, all that mattered because he knows better than anyone that you have a heart made of 24kt gold. A heart that needed to be protected at all cost, and clearly at the moment that’s not happening, because he can see it! Shattering all over the place along with very pricy china! 

Chest rising and falling painfully hard against itself, you were damn near blacked out in rage. So much so you didn’t even notice your office doors opening or closing. You, the woman that trained her ear to hear the faint hum of an elevator in an upscale hotel. 

Leaning down until your face was flush with the desk, gripping the edges so hard Hoseok could hear the floor creak. He couldn’t help but notice how flushed your knuckles looked, bouquets of bruises already blooming along the smooth surface. The moment of silence only lingered about….half a second, just long enough for you to recharge and grab something else to hurl at the wall. Voice-breaking before the hiss even fully rolled off your tongue, and that  “Something” was a set of Tiffany’s champagne glasses that you utterly adored! Well aware that wouldn’t go over well once this was all said and done so he figured that was his cue. 

“Y/n…” His voice wasn’t loud enough, abrasive enough, and frankly, you were far too absorbed to even hear him on such a neutering level! Sooo, he tried again. Slipping seamlessly into his…”Boss man”  tenor if you will, adding a dash of base to his voice that you could not only hear..but feel! 

”Baby!”

You startled upon hearing the endearment, head snapping around, body staggering until you fell back onto the corner of the desk. Bracing yourself with one arm, so you didn’t actually fall, chest heaving in short staggered breaths, as you gazed back at him, though it was clear initially you really weren’t looking at him.  

“Don’t!” He could see your body starting to curl in on itself as you shifted under his gaze which currently felt like an uncapped bulb in the middle of an integration room. The warning was too half hearted for him to even acknowledge!!

“Fuckkk''  Cursed from your lips only loud enough for you to hear once you gazed up at the clock through swollen eyes, not even realizing how late it was. Far too consumed in anger to remember that Hosoek was even coming home tonight, infuriating yourself even more because this was the last thing you wanted him to walk in on.  You didn’t want to burden him with the task of having to put you back together again, you’d been doing it just fine yourself for the past 5 or so days since this has secretly become routine as of late! You cry, you break shit, you touch up your makeup, and then you walk out of your office like nothing happened and continue running this 9 figure empire.

 “Just-go-go, back outside….” You were trying to sound strong, determined like you weren’t falling apart, and you were failing...miserably failing, you weren’t in control you were practically begging. The concern in Hoseok’s eyes was more than evident and that made shit even worse. Yet no matter how bad his palms were aching to touch you, he didn’t dare to reach for you yet, he knew your limits, and right now still wasn’t it…He could physically see you shudder as if it  wasn’t a solid 75 degrees outside right now.

The silence was too much, way too much, it felt as though it was ripping you apart, or maybe you were ripping yourself apart? Maybe it’s just harder to hide from yourself when you no longer can drown out your thoughts with the sound of you screaming and breaking shit…

“Fuck, this is about Germany right? Or Amsterdam? Whatever it is, whatever you need from me. You can have it...we can talk I promise, but right now,  I need you to leave…” Trying your damnedest to hold is gaze but it felt impossible because you knew he saw straight through you!

The pause was long enough for him to say something and still...nothing...it was like he was trying to push you enough to finally admit what you really needed from him.

“I just need a minute...t-to pull my shit together and then I’ll be fine, then we can talk.” You were practically whispering, your voice was so trashed and distressed. Forcing yourself to drop an octave, removing any texture from your tone  in order to properly “convey” your message yet he still didn't budge! 

“Hoseok, don’t make me ask again...just-” Shoeing your hand towards the door to replace the word you couldn’t quite get to roll off your tongue. 

Everything about you was contradictory because now you wanted him, your eyes were pleading in agony for him to hold you and make everything disappear. Yet, your tone was dry, removed, as if he was some low-level soldier on the totem pole, not to mention you legit just told him to leave. But oh how your emotions betray you when it comes to Mr. Jung! No matter how much bullshit you just spit out, you really only said one thing...and he heard it clear as day. 

Hoseok already knows, he knows you like the inside of a VP9 Veterinary pistol, no matter how cold your delivery was it didn’t stop him from easing off the wall and invading your space. You could feel him before he even got in within 10 ft of you, his aura already starting to infiltrate your little bubble! His stride was slow, confident, making up for all the things you currently lacked because that’s what a good partner does! 

He could see how hard you were clinging to the table as if you were using that to ground you, afraid of how lost you’d get once he got in arm’s length. This man had a soul that outweighed yours by miles and that was one of your favorite things about him, how deep he could go in more ways than one.  Hoseok didn’t stop until he was standing directly in front of you, close enough for you to taste the speirment on his tongue. Still, he hasn’t touched you and now you really needed him to touch you! The sweet musky scent of his cologne filling your lungs, you could practically feel the heat radiating off his body, god why weren’t the two of you in bed right now? Not even having sex nesicarilly,  just naked, skin on skin...you just wanted to feel him. It’s actually disgusting, the amount of control he has over your entire sense of being at this point. The way even just the slightest touch can completely throw all of your senses out of whack or back in whack I guess I should say.  

“Hmmm, a minute is all you need yeah….” Not even attempting to phrase it as a question because he knew it was all bullshit anyway!  So you didn’t dare respond, not trusting your voice anyway, just keeping your eyes trained on his...getting lost in how bright they looked in contrast to yours. Spreading your legs on instinct so he could get even closer, shifting slightly on top of the desk. 

Hands braced on either side of your frame to give him leverage as he tilted forward. “Well, it seems as though you’ve had….many minutes, hours even..” Eyes wandering around the room observing the mess you’d made, yeah the maids gonna need a bonus after this!  

“It doesn’t appear you having time alone has done you much good so try again baby…”Hoseok had a tenor that was meant for your ears, and your ears only. The typical bright almost giddy little accent to his tone was always replaced by a calmer, warmer one. An underlying element of sensuality that exuded just the right amount of calculated…. control….an effortless sense of dominance if you will.

Staring down at you through hooded lids thoroughly, reading for any ounce of discomfort! Once he didn’t find any... finally, you felt his hands take a firm grip on your waist. Your body tensed initially, hoping to counteract how hard you were still shaking! Hint, you failed, you were practically vibrating against him at initial contact!

“Breathe y/n...” 

“I am, trust me that’s the only thing I can do right now…” There was still a slight bite rolling off your tongue, no matter how winded you sound. However, in Hoseok’s eyes sass is better than silence so carry on! 

Nosing along the side of your neck, right beneath your ear, next to your windpipe, letting him feel how you truly felt, which was unbalanced and a little lost. Your heart rate per 15 seconds was probably double what it was on an average day and yes, Hoseok knows how many times your heart beats per minute on an average day! 

“Baby...” Cooed from his lips almost sympathetically as he slowly started painting a trail down the side of your neck with his lips. 

“Hoseok, I-god-I can’t-” You “can’t “what exactly?  Relax? Give in? Shut your brain off? What “Can't” you do? 

“Yeah, yeah, you can, let me turn shut your brain off for a minute , let me take care of you.” Hands gently ravishing your body, effortlessly sending goosebumps down your spine with every feather-like touch. 

“I’ll give you any, and everything you want, but I won’t leave you alone right now…” The words fanned against your skin making your shiver against him, no matter how calm his tenor was the dominance was clear as day! You didn’t have a say in the matter….

Reclining your neck on instinct giving him more room to work as you tried to clear your mind of any and everything that wasn’t Hoseok as you let your eyes fan shut. 

“Hoseok…” Staggered out heavily feeling like you were choking and he only offering a hum in response, not letting up from his current mestractions….”Fuck, yeah, okay just- just keep touching me...please” You weren’t typically a beggar even in bed but right now you needed him, not int he mood to be sassy or play hard to get, to be honest, you just didn’t have the energy. 

“I’m not going anywhere baby..I’m right here..all here for you..always…in any way you need me…” Palms soothing down your thighs, reaching under to smoothly wrap them around his waist, bringing his hips flush to yours. Once he felt you secure your ankles he reached for your hands, kissing along your knuckles before sliding them under the back of his shirt. Knowing how skinship puts your mind at ease, and the second the pads of your fingers graze his skin...you’re already finding  yourself digging your nails into his shoulders. Ripping a low growl from his throat, as he rocked his hips forward, re-positioning his arms on either side of your body so his forehead was flush to yours. 

“All here for you, in any way you need me..” That seems to hold a lot more weight as of late and no matter how much you’re trying to rid your mind of those thoughts..you can’t, you fucking can’t. Suddenly you’re clawing at his shoulders for a different reason, and it hurts, and not the fun kinda pain either…he hears a faint whimper leave your lips, as you clung to him even tighter.

“Y/n….” He exhales, voice shaking eyes glazed over, welting full of tears he’s praying don’t fall because he needs to be strong for you right now. “Baby” There was a blatant plea laced within that and you...

“I know, I know…” it’s unsaid...though it’s clearly not unsaid because you know...youuuu know, the two of you avoided that word. Maybe because if you said it that makes the idea of losing each other even worse. So for now, you’d just prefer to endlessly show it…....

Talking would just suck ass right now, so you opted for the later and leaned in, it wasn’t soft or delicate..you kissed him hard. Until he was gasping through his nose to breathe while, almost stifling forward,letting your hands wander up his shirt to thread into his hair.  Tugging at his scalp until you heard him moan against your tongue, taking that as your invitation to lick your way into his mouth which he accepts willingly. Reclining his jaw letting you have control because he figured you could probably use that right now.  Your lips moved with such emotion, and just pure passion that you don’t know if you’d ever felt so weak under him..yet powerful all at the same damn time! You almost feel lightheaded, the more you kiss, tongues meeting with such desperation your chest feels like it’s burning. Teeth clashing, nails clawing so hard into Hosoek’s skin it hurts but he doesn’t give a damn.

You tilt your head back giving him free access to do as he pleases and he bites. Hard. Until he rips a moan right off your tongue and it sounds so damn good….Nipping licking and sucking over every inch of skin he can reach. Feenin to hear you moan over and over again...until your lips find his and your clawing at his v-neck for dear life. Yanking at the neckline until you hear it rip, lifting and tugging it until he finally takes the hint….

“Offff” 

“Come take what you want.” Pulling back to allow you to yank it over his head, exposing mounds of warm and toned honey-coated skin, covered in trails of articulately placed ink. A combination of new-aged back and white with hints of watercolor paint his skin, telling an array of stories that you know like the back of your hand at this point!

Tugging him back by the nape of his neck so his chest is flush to yours, the warmth radiating through the fabric of your dress, which didn’t cover much, to begin with. Rolling your hips up into his for slight friction until your moaning back against his tongue again, hands moving down to help you grind at a steady rhythm. The contrast of the rough material of his jeans, against your clit was really fucking you up right now.  

“Hoseok…”

“Baby” He countered in a way that had your curls trying to curl under the pad of your heels! 

“Fuck, Fuck me,” You whispered against his lips intentionally whiney, and he froze instantly, not that he didn’t want to because fuck he wanted to he just...Hoseok’s big on talking shit out. Not one for hiding or aiding emotions, and clearly there’s something wrong here!

“I really,need you right now”  You whisper again, nipping at his bottom lip and now it’s hopeless because this man knows he can’t deny you a damn thing. He hasn’t been able too since the two of you met in Paris, initially as strangers stood on a roof with your Colt Pistols aiming dead in each other’s faces.

You could feel the frustration growling from his throat but still, he kissed you deeper, harder, rocking you against the desk so your laying on your back. Rolling his hips against you slowly just to hear you moan against his tongue. ‘Hoseok!” Yeah, your whiny, and yeah your inpatient…

‘God, the shit you do to me…” Leaning in to steal your breath away with another deep brusing kiss.There was a hint of frustration and disbelief, lingering within that, and you can’t help but smile up at him, soothing your palms down the smooth planes of his chest. Nails idly outlining the array of cherry blossoms painting his skin, framing his collarbone perfectly. Not even trying to hide how much you loved knowing you had the same effect on him, which in laymen’s terms just means your both helplessly and endlessly whipped! 

Being in this deep, with someone within your world is dangerous, even more so when they’re actually in the field,  not hauled up in a castle, like some modern-day Repunzel. It can make you vulnerable, irrational, hypersensitive, but on the flip side, it can also turn you into the most lethal version of yourself where enemies are concerned. Your need to ensure no one stands in the way of whatever you deem your “Happy Ending” to be, becomes insatiable...you’d set cities ablaze for that man and he’d do the same..in a heartbeat! 

Considering that’s the first, and only smile he’s seen from you in days he can’t help but lean down again. Leaving one more lingering kiss against your lips sighing out in content at how laxed and pliant you feel under him, you already know he’s smiling, you can feel Hoseok's teeth against your lips. Tentatively he untangles himself, not before leaning down a good three or four more times to kiss you again. As if he's going far, hell as if your ass was going any damn where to begin with even if he was. 

Smoothing his hands up your thighs, hiking your dress around your waist in the process, hissing at the fact you opted against panties today. The minute he eased your legs apart not only could he smell how much you need him but he could see...the need dripping from your lips. Wiggling your hips a little, as your arched even further onto the oversized glass desk, shoving the mounds of files to the side, your heels gave you the perfect angle to completely spread out. Putting yourself on full display, the slight elevation on your lower half had your hips tipping slightly forward, giving him  access to everything he needed! Your gaze was far  too innocent for his liking as you batted your lashes in his direction. Easing your hands up your body.. taking a little detour to caress your breast in your hands before letting them get lost in your hair. 

An all-knowing smirk playing on your lips as you watch his eyes slowly unravel every inch of your body. If you didn’t know any better you’d think his mouth was watering, stealth fingers digging into your skin hard enough to leave a mark. Dropping to his knees..

“I don’t-”

“I know, I know”  Leaning forward until his lips were flush with your inner thigh, eyes trained on yours daring you to look away, jerking slightly when he bit you, then a low moan fell off your lips as he sucked on the spot. 

“You sound so fuckin good” Slurred against your skin, teeth sinking into your thigh even harder this time leaving a larger bite mark. Not pulling back until you squirmed from under him, his name husking off your tongue. 

What you meant earlier was you didn't want him to fully prep you tonight, you wanted the pain, the feeling of him stretching you open around his cock instead of his fingers. The delicious burn that almost makes you feel like your on the brink being split open! But I mean, fuck, look at you, he can’t just..not taste you, right? I mean no he HAS to taste you…

Resting his head against your inner thigh, thumbs kneading your skin while he started to kiss  his way around your bikini line. There seems to be no rush and at the moment you were just enjoying the warmth ghosting off his lips so you laid there content. Then, he leaned forward, placing his lips flush against your clit, leaving an array of solid lingering kisses all the way up your lips. And yeah they were somewhat chaste at this point,but you were feeling real needy  right now so even that had you squirming beneath him. 

“Hoseok” Sighed from your lips as you felt goosebumps spread through your body, gently massaging your nipples through your dress, somewhat teasing yourself instead of giving direct contact. Just allowing your touch to ghost over, until you’re arching into your own hand, pinching even tighter but still not giving your body the full sensation . 

“Y/n” Hoseok replied, calm as ever, a smirk playing on his lips as he watched you “God, your so damn sexy…” Slowly his tongue fell from his lips and landed right around your clit, sucking it into his mouth with a moan that shot through every cell in your body. He sucked, and slurped you between his lips so hard, and you damn near smothered him with your thighs on accident. Your body's first instinct was to pull away, there was so much pressure and stimulation being applied to literally the most sensitive region of your body. And it was steady, once he had you wrapped around your tongue that's where you stayed.

“Holy shit-babyyy” Eyes squeezing shut, trying to remember how to breathe!

 Your mind and body weren’t on the same page, thighs practically vibrating on either side of his head and the minute he felt your legs close in, he nipped the skin between his teeth.Forcing you to arch up and away instead of clamping down, a broken cry of his name falling off your tongue as you tried to desperly keep your legs apart. 

He knew you needed a distraction, leaning forward, grabbing your hand and burying it into your hair, making sure you had an almost painfully tight grip on his scalp! You were damn thankful because holding him like this gave you some sense of ground, instead of you feeling like your about to plummet through the glass.

Hoseok always touched you like he wanted too, like he was the one getting off which prompted your next question once the air resurfaced to your lungs. 

“Mmm, fuck your hard for me already aren’t you? Just tasting me get’s my baby hard doesn't it?” You knew the answer but damn if it didn’t feel good to hear him moan it out anyway.

Nipping at your thigh again, this time a little harder “You fuckin, known, what you do to me, I could come right now if I didnt need to feel you come all over my cock” You moaned so loud at that, gripping his scalp even tighter. “That’s it baby, keep me where you want me.” So you did just that. Pushing his head down so he had nowhere to go but your clit, however the smirk you could feel resting against your thigh should've warned you that he was about to rip you apart.

Hoseok circled his tongue around the very tip, meriscally, his strokes were deep and languid, and they ripped you apart. There's no other way to describe the way he’s volleying your pussy around his tongue, right now! The only comparison I can give you is he’s kissing your clit, and every crevice between your lips, as if he was thoroughly exploring every inch of your mouth . He was loud, and messy, in his pleasure where your concerned, the almost primal sound of his lips, and spit smacking against your folds. Low, needy moans vibrating against your skin as if you were the best damn thing he’d tasted all day. Pulling back to spit directly on your entrance, pursing his lips, and blowing , directing it to fall straight in and your body clenched hard. Fuck you needed, him to inside you…. nuzzling his face between your thighs until his nose was flush with your clit. He knew better than to work you open with his fingers so he opted for his tongue. Picking his own lubricate back up with the tip of his tongue and swirling it around the entrance. Moaning at the wall your body naturally started clenching around the muscle. You were a moaning mess beanthe him, hips rocking against his face.

You’re getting antsy now, wiggling your hips harder, you felt like you were close from this alone and that;s not what you wanted “Fuck Hoseok, baby just fuck me…”  Yanking his head until he pulled away, dragging his lips down to meet yours, chin glistening with all traces of you. The kiss was hard, messy,your essence was all you could taste against his tongue, moaning out as he rocked his hips into you. Leaning forward so he could reach into the Hermes gift box which was kinda decoration kinda used to store lube and other shit you really should have in an office! 

The minute he grabbed the bottle you ripped it from his hands, this was the least you could do,plus you just loved how heavy he felt in your palm. Hoseok almost growled as he deepened the kiss, more teeth and tongue than finesse,the kiss is hard, it feels like your both gasping for air the entire time but neither of you want to pull apart. Pulling at his belt with nothing but a whine until he gets the hint and smacks your hand out of the way, within seconds you feel him hit your stomach. Hot, hard, and heavy, and god if you didn't clench so damn hard, he’s literally twitching  on top of you right now.

“Do you even have the slightest idea how fucked up I am for you?  How hard I am and you havent even touched me yet?” 

“Mmm, I don’t know baby it’s been a minute since I’ve seen you...” Your whispers seductive yet taunting,kissing at his jaw and his neck, smiling against his skin at the low moans that spill from his lips. “Tell me..

Digging your heels into his back as you uncapped the bottle, taking an obscene amount in your hand before reaching between your bodies. Ripping a shaky moan from Hoseok's throat once you laced your fingers around his cock. Squeezing just enough to let all the acces lube drizzle down his shaft and land on his balls, he’s just throbbing in your palm right now and your not even moving yet. “Does it make you feel good to know you got me wrapped around your finger? Knowing- I’d- fuck-” Now, your moving,  hand working his shaft, flucuating the way you distribute pressure, loosser at the bottom and tighter twoards the head  becuse thats his sweet spot. Lube just running down your fingers, it’s so damn messy and you love it,he's straight up whining into your mouth right now. Breath fanning against your face as he nuzzles into your skin...lips parted.

“Knowing that you’d what baby?”  Tugging his bottom lip between your teeth, feeling the way his hips twitched above you , so you slow down your pace, and tighten your grip. Hoseok's brows are furrowed chest flushed…..he looks fucking beautiful.

“That I’d kill anyone in a heartbeat for you, that i’d never let a damn thing happen to you” He can't help but rock into your fist even harder, eyes struggling to stay focused but he refuses not to look at you.. “Does that get to you the same way it does me? Because I still get hard thinking about the way you went toe to toe with Jin’s father about me that night in Italy.” Trailing his tongue down the side of your jaw nibbling ever so slightly “That,was-fuck-the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.”

“God, I-...” Licking your way back into his mouth as you continued working him in your hand, moving your thumb over his tip, smearing the mounds of precum into the excessive lube .“Yeah, fuck yeah, it turns me on wayy more than it should. I shouldn't want you to be reckless when it comes to me but god if it's not sexy as all hell knowing you would be…” 

“And I would” he responds with zero Hesitation….

The sudden passion somewhat catches you off guard honestly, and the fire burning through his eyes as he said that is….stifling to say the least. 

“You’d go to war with me baby?” You didn't intend to shift the mood this heavy, yet you couldn't help the way it just vomited off your tongue. Maybe it’s your subconscious talking right now, still trying to fight it’s way through regardless of your current surroundings! 

Reaching up to cup your jaw, tilting your chin upwards, placing the most fragile kiss along your lips . “With you, for you, anyway you spin it the answer is yes...a hundred times over baby it’s yes…” The ache you currently felt coursing through your veins for this man right now...

“I need you in me. Now. I promise will go slow...please let me do this” 

Hoseok held your gaze for a moment before responding, searching your eyes for any hesitation “‘And you’ll tell me if it’s too much..” Grip firm around your waist, not even bothering to phrase it as a question because it wasn’t one...

‘Promise…” Placing the tip right at your entrance,and Hoseok can feel your heat trying to pull him in but he retreats. Giving you full control, keeping your eyes trained on his, well aware that’s what he needed to make sure, he could gauge our pain whether you wanted to admit it or not. Initially, nothing happened neither of you moved, just the faint suction of your very neglected pussy trying to suck him in.

 “I said I wanted you to fuck me...you know my body better than I do..make me take you…” 

‘I-” Yeah. Hoseok.Exe stopped working because he definitely wasn't expecting that, thinking you’d just rock yourself down, not that you wanted him to gauge your restience! Nails raking down his back as you roll your hips against him, making sure he can feel how warm and wet you are, how ready you are..positioning your lips to moan right against his ear.

“Fucking come’re” Hosoek leans forward smashing his lips against yours so hard it hurts, grabbing your legs, bracing them on either side of his shoulders. Sliding your hips forward until the backs of your thighs are flush with his chest, and your red bottoms are facing the ceiling. Gripping his length, teasing the head up and down your folds, as he left a trail of open wet mouthed kisses down your jaw,behind your ear, over to your neck. Ending with his lips nuzzled against your ear…returning the gesture “Missed you, touching you,” Exensuating each word with a kiss “The sound of your voice, waking up to you, being inside you...” Rocking his hips against yours deep, and hard.

You can’t even help but moan at just the mention of him being inside again after what feels like months “Want you, need you....” You’re in rare form tonight, yeah, your always a little submissive with him but not to this extent. 

“Your really tryin to break me today huh?” Tugging your lobe between his teeth before suctioning his lips around your jaw, at this angle Hoseok had the fronts of your thighs colliding with your chest. If he even considers  bringing you back this deep once he’s in you...it’s game over…”You ready?” 

“God yes” Soothing your hands up his stomach once he pulled back, skin hot to the touch and initially nothing happens, just the pressure of Hoseok's tip. Wiggling your hips playfully gives him a little incentive, so he starts to rock forward, and suddenly play times over! Your body freezes dead in its tracks...Hoseok's eyes stay trained on yours the entire time and your jaw clenches at the exact moment your pussy clamps down around his tip. As if you're trying to reroute the pressure elsewhere…A slight whine spills form your lips which lets him know there is still some pleasure laced within all of this.

‘Touch me, keep touching me baby….” Somehow Hoseok appears to be offensively calm regardless of the vice like grip you currently have around him! The request was more for you than him, knowing how much you needed his warmth right now! Clearly your not even close to being settled enough for him to come down flush level yet. So, this will have to do,taking your hands in his, guiding them down his body leisurely. Leading your fingers on a little field trip, sighing contently once you feel how warm and toned he is, how strongly his body reacts to your touch. The way every muscle twitches as you ghost over it, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. Subconsciously you found yourself leaning towards his touch, hissing out once you shifted a little too much for the moment.

“You still with me baby?” 

Nodding slowly as you try to focus, steading your breathing as much as possible, you wanted, no, needed to feel him like this! He can see the pain coursing through your body as the two of you still hold each other's gaze, which is the only thing keeping you grounded right now. Resting his head against your inner thigh, kissing along your skin once he feels his tip breach your quivering entrance. And it’s tight , fuck it’s tight, your body feels like it’s buring from the inside out once you swollow the swell of his head between your lips. Your jaw slacks open and nothing comes out, he’s not even sure if your breathing right now but what he does know is your eyes are still open and focused on Hoseok. 

“Goddamn” Hoseok groans deep and low head lulling back and finally he sounds just as fucked up as you,hand taking a bruisingly hard grip on your hips. He’s actually trying to shift back a little, so he can rock back in, but he can’t. You won’t let him go,“You gotta-shit, you gotta  let me breathe a little baby….fuck” He’s winded and using every once of self control he has to stay stationary, even though your applying a dangerous amout of pressure to the most sesentive regin of this mans shaft. The tip, that's all that's suctioned between your heat and your squeezing him like your trying to break him, and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it.  

 So you try, fuck you try, exhaling then inhaling then exhaling again, attempting to get all your msucles to relax. Only problem is your not even clenching around Hoseok’s cock, you just have him trapped. Your just clamped tight, so tight it hurts, on both ends! He can feel your thighs shaking around him, pulling inwards as if your bodies trying to curl in on itself , and he knows this isn't going to work! He’s hissing hard too, nails digging into the swell of your ass, and thankfully once the two of you make eye contact yours are daggering into him with a silent plea. And he already knows what you want! The real issue is there’s way too much swirling around your head mentally for you to have full control over your senses right now. So, that's when you render him full control of any and every inch of your being to do as he pleases in order to give you what you need.

“Ho-Seok...fuck just-” 

 Reaching out for one of your hands so you can squeeze his as hard as you need, kissing along your knuckles.”Yeah?” 

“Yeah!” Tilting your head back with a beathy whine, squeezing his fingers even tighter….

 “You trust me?” Nodding without hesitation “I need you, to keep your eyes open, and focus, can you do that for me baby? ”  It’s a lot but Hoseok knows your limits and if it was truly too much he’d pull out, you can take it, all of it. Shifting your thighs so there now wrapped around his waist as opposed to above his head.  Pouring an obscene amount of lube on the remainder of his shaft, not even bothering to rub it in, just letting the excess drip onto the table. 

“And if you can’t get your colors out?” 

“Pinch you...I’m good, I know you got me...”A lazy smile tugging on your lips as you just try to stay calm.

“On the count of three, take a deep slow breath through your nose...and don't exhale until I tell you too” Hoseok cups your cheek and you nuzzle into it, kissing the tips of his fingers, you can feel them trembling though he’s trying to appear at ease.. 

“K” Yes wide, but focused, determined...a  little stubborn but hell you've already started right? 

Hoseok's eyes flutter shut briefly, taking in a deep slow breath of his own, making sure he’s in the right headspace to guide you through this. Once those big brown eyes of his creek open and your gazes meet again it’s heavy. Hosoek’s eyes are blown out, half lided, already glazed over, he just looks like sex...and he looks like hes about to break you in all the right ways! 

Adjusting his grip on your hip, steadying himself, thumbing at your side, “Count with me….1” God, the textures in this man's voice where unreal, he just sounds so damn smooth, the hushed command had so much control, and warmth wrapped up in all of 4 words.

He rocks forward, barely...just to see if you’ve loosened up and you still haven’t budged... Flicking his chin in your direction indicating he wanted you to continue…

“Two…” You’d be lying if you aid your heart wasn;t hammering in your ears as you let a deep breath start to fill your lungs.

“Three” Whispped through clenched teeth and he didn’t hesitate, rocking back just a little so he has better leverage tilting his hips upwards and he watches your eyes widen..thighs tense but he doesn't stop. Redirecting all of his weight into his abdomen, grinding down with a deep, heavy roll of the hips, you can feel every muscle in his back within this first thrust. Your fingers twitch in his hold, eyes glazing over relatively quickly, but your still looking at him, barely but you are. Even Hoseok’s breathing a little shaky, brows furrowed, but he's in, his tips fully past your entrance “Let it out baby….” 

And you do, whimpering hard, as a choked out breath hippicus through your chest, initially you were expecting him to pause. Give you a minute to adjust to the initial stretch…..Nope…

He doesn't stop, he's still rolling forward and now your gasping and whimpering all over again, even louder this time! Hoseok’s thumbs bruising the hell out of your hips but you don’t have him stop, you can’t! Your mind and body needs this right now, the tension the burn,all of it! 

“That’s it…” Even though his restricted breathing you can hear the fondness dripping off his tongue. “ Focus on me, I got you” The more he breaches his way through your heat the more the wind gets knocked out of your lungs but it’s good, it’s soo damn good! You manage to somewhat choke out his name and he just hums in response, biting down on his bottom lip in concentration. Untangling his hand from yours to brace both on either side of his head. Hoseoks pushing through steadily now,morphing his way through your heat that’s still trying to fight against him but he doesn't stop.No matter how hard you pulsing around him, Hoseok's shaft drags forward until his balls meet the swell of your asss. And finally he’s right on top of you, your bodies trembling beneath him so he gently lowers himself. Bringing his chest flush to yours letting your wrap your arms around his neck. Clawing your way down his back, intentionally releasing some of the tensions coursing through your veins. Licking his way back into your mouth, kissing deep, and messy until your light headed and desperate. Endless Moans richoching against one other, his palms soothing down your thighs. 

Everything pauses for a while, neither of you move, your both panting hard into each other's mouths while you adjust and Hoseok's not rushing you either. Wanting you to relax a little so he doesn't come after all of 2 strokes, idily  tracing patterns against your skin. Finally able to feel your breathing even out, muscles becoming more laxed beneath him!

“You ready for me baby?,”

All you can do is moan in response, still so overwhelmed, squeezing your legs around his waist as hard as you could so he at least knows your still with him. 

So he does, pulling out and pushing back in, and your eyes automatically roll back at the feeling. It’s still tight as fuck but he’s somehow managing to weave his way through. .

“Hurts?”  He can’t help but ask since your thighs are still shaking a little, and you nod honestly.

“Good pain? Good enough to make my pretty baby come?” More of a statement than a question, you can hear the smirk in his voice, as he kissed down your jaw. Trying to distract you a little,sucking a couple bruises along the front of your neck . Edging his way back and forth building up a steady tempo, and finally Hoseok can feel the shift. He’s able to breathe within you a little better, your letting him wade in a little deeper! 

You exhale shakily and nod again, feeling him shift off of you, repositioning your legs on either side of his shoulders.Leaning forward pressing all his weight into his arms until your thighs are flush to your chest. 

Your mouth opens and closes, kinda like a fish outta water, you do it a few times but not shit comes out.

“Baby…” Kissing up your inner thigh as he gently rocks forward , slowing down a little so you can feel the slow drag of his cock pull you apart. Back arching ever so lightly, moaning out low and wanton “Your so, sexy, doin so good for me” Nuzzling against your skin, nipping lightly at your inner thigh. 

“Your deep” The word barley leaves your tongue “Fuck, faster..”

“Yeah?”

Before you can even respond he snaps his hips forward and you almost scream, nails digging into his disciples as he stares down at you with a smirk that’s..real concerning considering the position he has you in. So he does it again, pulling his cock halfway out and rocking forward, 

“That’s it, that’s what my baby needed,” Hoseok whispers and thrust forward even harder this time, rocking up on the heels balls of his feet as if he’s aiming for your damn ribcage. 

Your mouth falls back open, looking like you wanna moan but you can;t every exhale gets cut off by another deep roll of the hips,repositioning himself so he braced with one arm. Running the other up your face, into your hair, before cradilling your jaw, thumbing at your bottom lip which you nip and suck into your mouth. Humming out contently, as you lick a stipe up his index and middle finger, not missing the way Hoseok’s cock twitches at the added stimulation. 

“Look at you…..” Eyes trailing down your body agnoniziling slow, taking in each and every detail as if it’s the very first times he's ever seen you like this. And still, you can’t help but shutter at the genuine astonishment burning through those lust filled eyes of his. Which eventually land on the site that his is cock dissappring between your wet and swollen pussy, lips just sprawled over his balls just the way he likes “ My baby's so good for me hmm?

“Always…” you whisper eyes rolling back,,completely glazed over, as his fingers fallback from your lips, every inch of your skin feels like it’s on fire right now.

Hoseok gets lost for a minute, watching the way your so pliant and trusting with him, eyes squeezed shut just letting yourself get consumed by all things Hoseok! Pulling back just enough to spit directly on your clit. The texture has your eyes flying open the instantly rolling shut once he brings his thumb down to work the bud at a swift steady pace. 

“Fuckkkk” Whimpering loudly in repsonse “Don’t stop, fuck harder..” And that he does, harder faster every thrust has his balls smacking against your ass. “Fuck, yes! Fuck, you feel so good…” 

“Yeah, yeah...your right there...come on baby…” He can feel you pulsing even harder against him. Not that you ever fully stopped but the tensions different now, more constricted…..he starts thrusting home hard! Spitting an even bigger wad on your clit, mixing it with the extra lube dripping down his balls as he continues ripping your nerves wide open. 

“Fuck, kiss me!” Whiney and bossy as per usual!

Smacking his hand away, exchanging it for your own so you can drag him down and take what you need, placing  your index and middle finger straight to the clit, which was rock hard. Applying as much pressure as possible, until the friction almost burns. Feeling your release dangling right in front of your face.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come...” You whisper out  all of a sudden slowly rocking your hips forward trying to meet his thrust though it’s  kinda hard in this position. 

“Yeah? You gonna come all over my cock? Then let me fill you up until I’m dripping down your thighs...” The kiss is messy more tonuge and teetht han skill, he can feel you, your right fucking there, thrusting into so hard it almost hurts.

Your eyes widen, brows furrowing to the center of your face, breath shuttering in your throat, mouth just parted against his, then your eyes squeezed shut. Fingers still working your clit, and your coming, silent at first until your crying out, voice shattinger , nails dragging from the nape of hoseok's neck down his back! He dosen’t stop fucking you, not even for a second, going just as, and fast as he was before, while you whitherbenathe him. The second he feels you try and pull your hand away he drops his hips even lower, restricting any movements. 

“Don’t fucking stop! Keep coming until I do, I'm right there,ride this out with me baby” He all about growls at you, and you don’t even dare to disobey, to be honest you don’t wanna stop. Body almost working on autopilot to chase the buzz running through your body, running towards it as much as your trying to run away…it’s too much but it’s soo good!

He’s thrusting into you as hard as he can but fuck if his biceps aren’t on fire and he just can’t finish the way he wants...the way he needs. So he pulls out, fast, barley giving you time to whine nevertheless realize what's going on and he slides over next to you. Lying back on the desk and grabbing you within seconds, sinking you back down onto his cock in one swift notion. Nails digging into your hips as he fucks you down onto him, hard, short thrust rip through your body, not making you do a damn thing but try and hang on for the ride! Your gasping hard, tossing your head back once you reconnect your hand with your clit. Attempting to roll your hips down and meet the pace he’s set but it's merciless… and he’s picking up speed quickly. 

“jesus-fuck-Ho-oseok!” Your nails are raking into this man's chest so hard you wouldn't be surprised if you broke skin but he’s groaning deep and that’s only egging you on! 

His honey coated complexion’s just dripin, brows furrowed, eyes barley ajar, Hoseok seems to be returning the favor. His thumb is about a second away from leaving a permanent indentation and it hurts but you need it. Not even a question as to if you guards can hear you or not your loud! Voice trashed, and very swipe of the hand has you jerking and twitching above him because your clits sentive as all fuck, but goodamn if he dosen’t look good, forhead sweaty  jaw slacked. 

“Y/n, Y/n, fuckk” He’s whining high and needy, heats rashing over his body, and you feel his balls tighen against your ass, and now he turly is right there. You can feel him twitching hard inside you.

“Come onnn baby, you know I fuckin want it, you know I wanna be fu-” There’s a choked out tear rolling down your cheek your bodies spazing so damn hard, it’s painful. Before you can even make sense of what’s happening your crying, and your clenching and coming all over again, your bodies completely spent. Toppling on top of him, instantly because...what the hell just happened?? 

 You clamp down tight around his cock unintentionally, body just luid, and spasming above him and you both moan and that’s when he comes, hard. Eyes open, and locked with yours, a low goan of your name falling from his lips as he spills into you. Hoseok’s shaking beneath you but he doesn't even try to pull out, reaching up to gently brush the tears off your cheek. Taking your hand in his, and sucking those same two fingers into his mouth, eyes locked with your as he does so, and your too damn spent to even react properly. Slowly he still continues thrusting into you, leaning up to press a couple soft kisses against your lisp, humming contently as you taste yourself.  Adjusting his grip so he has one hand, caressing the back of your neck and the other wrapped around your waist. Rubbing slow soothing circles down your spine, as he cards his fingers through your hair, your chest heaving together in unison as your bodies slowly come down. 

“Hi” The words hush off your tongue with a lazy, and utterly exhausted smile, eyes too heavy to open until you feel his teeth pressing against your lips. Letting you know he's smiling too and I mean, fuck, who are yuo to declien a front row seat to to watch the sunrise!

“Hi baby…”  Leaning up to press another linger kiss against your lips as his hips to a halt, just letting you simmer around him. Even the slight stimulation was enough to have both of you moaning out in overstimulation...

________________________________________________________________

The comedown was always slow between the two of you so it’s not a surprise that your bodies and tongues stayed tangled together long after Hoseok came. Eventually, the desk got a little uncomfortable, Hoseok's damn near stuck to it ,there's so much heat radiating off his skin.  So he wraps you in his arms and plops the two of you down on the couch. All the while , his cocks still bured between your lips, your dress is still flipped over your ass and his jeans and hanging low against his thighs! 

“How you feelin?”Pressing delicate kisses all over your face, hands rubbing your inner thighs because he knew they were burning by now.

“Tired” You pouted, mumbling slightly...

“Well, I guess I did my job then huh?” A faint smirk tugging on his lips, as he kissed down your jaw….

Once the two of you settled on the couch Hoseok waits a moment, opting to see if you’d want him to pull out though he should’ve known better, the two of you fall asleep like this more times than not! Gently stroking his fingers down your back in hopes it would coax you into talking without him having to pry it out of you!  The longer you lot sat in silence the faster your heart rate got, Hoseok could actually hear it echoing throughout the room. Leaning down to press a flurry of kisses into your scalp trying to ease you in anyway he could. Eventually, the T-rex in the room was starting to feel a little suffocating sooo...

“He’s just not...doing well, like…. at all…” Tone flat, as if you were trying to remove yourself from the situation at hand. Purposely nuzzling into the side of his neck, bussing yourself with the chains dawning his collarbones. The lack of eye contact wasn’t because you were embarrassed it’s because you just really didn’t wanna cry. You came wayyyy too hard your body can’t handle shit else! 

“I know-I know we’ve known this for a while…” There was this really thick lump hammering in your throat that really didn’t want to leave, the stability within your tone was swiftly heading south. Hoseok could hear it too, no matter how muffled you sound, suddenly more kisses were being pressed into your scalp.

“I guess, I was just fucking naive because he was doing soooo damn good earlier in the year ya know? ” Eyes fluttering up to meet his tentatively, your lashes fanning his skin gave that away, and he gazed down instantly. A dry chuckle leaving your throat, shaking your head as if your the butt of your own joke, but didn’t find it funny nor did he find it naive. 

Holding you even tighter, if that was possible…Those big brown eyes of his were soft and so damn fond of you it was actually ridiculous. If only your enemies could see you now, two of the most notoriously cutthroat people in the industry, throwing googly eyes back and forth! Looking like a couple in some cheesy Netflix romcom! Leaning down to press a lingering kiss on your lips, not pulling back until you released the breath that apparently only he knew you were holding. 

 ”Listen to me baby, there’s nothing naive about being hopeful, there’s also no handbook on how to handle your father dying. Even if you know it’s coming sooner than later..doesn't make any of this shit easier...”

“I know but...fuck…” Shifting slightly so your sitting more upright arm propped on the cushion behind his shoulder. “It’s just a lot, because I feel like I can’t fully do my job because if I do, I’ll miss something. Maybe I’ll miss...it, I mean Germany for fuck’s sake! That’s totally something I’d typically go on..instead, I forced y-”

Leaning down to press his lips against yours again, hoping you’d get the hint “In case you forgot..I volunteered, you never asked...you didn’t have too. And my job, for the record, is whatever you need it to be!” There was nothing but fire blazing into your eyes right now, he needed you to feel that, that he’s here for whatever you need..whenever you need it...however you need it! 

“I know, Seok-baby I know, and I appreciate that more than you’ll ever know” Reaching out to cup his jaw, melting at the way he instantly nuzzled into your palm before giving it a kiss. 

“However, I’m suppose to be in charge, I’m suposed to be in control, and I’m not.. I’m already falling apart and he’s not even gone yet…” That sentence alone had you feeling like you wanted to throw up! “I mean can you fuckin imagine how much of a wreck I’m gonna be?” Hoseok could hear how agitated you were getting so he opted to just stay quiet until he was sure you were done talking…

“Seok, I’m going to fall a fucking part-” You tried to turn your head before the tear rolled down your cheek but you failed, voice breaking off before you could even continue your thought. Hastily whipping your face as if you were mad at yourself for being so emotional right now. Nails daggering into his but he didn’t pull away, he let you be, he’s felt way worse. 

“This empire, his, empire is going to fall, apart, and any legacy my family ever had will  go up in flames! And who’s fucking fault will that be!? Huh? Not my brothers, Nothing’s ever his fault, how the hell does that work out!?” Your voice was hammering so hard in your chest it almost sounds as though your speaking straight into an industrial fan!

“ The one who fucked up everything gets to just ease by like nothing ever happened! Cause lord knows he’s too too damn much of a junkie to even tie his fuckin shoes nevertheless run the family business! It’s not that I didn't want this, I just don’t think I’m ready...nobody asked me if I was ready, my own fuckin brother never even offered to help like-I-fuck!” 

And now your crying again, great, great…..your first instinct was to get up, get away, move, break more shit I don’t know! Just anything, but sitting in this man’s lap, those assassin reflexes though, Hoseok caught your thigh before you could completely ease off the couch. Shifting your weight again, helping you pull out, you were far too gone to even react to the slight sting you should’ve felt. Slamming you back down so your hips were flush against his pelvic bone, holding you so your body hovered over him. You knew the position was so he could look straight through your damn soul but you couldn’t handle that right now….eyes fluttering down to your lap instead. 

“Y/n” No, he needed you to look at him, gently reaching down to cup your tear-stained face, eyes, and nose rivaling a blowfish!  

“And I say again…you don't have to do this alone anymore. I’m here for you, for you my baby, in any, and every way you need. You wanna regroup and brainstorm as to how I can help more let’s do it, if you need me on the field more let’s fuckin do it! Whatever you need to make this easier just tell me .” His pause was intentional holding your gaze, making sure you felt that. Allowing you to search his eyes for any hints of uncertainty that he already knew you’d never find. 

“And if you fall apart guess what!? I’ll be there to help put you back together time, and time again...and this empire will be fine. Stop, stop thinking everyone’s gonna leave you, you’ve been acting as your father’s second in command since you were 19! More importantly, you’ve been running shit with very little delegation for well over a year and if anything this operation flourished. Give yourself more credit, everyone here thinks highly of you, and not because they have too...it’s because your someone worth being admired. Regardless of how dirty our work may be, you and I both know there’s still a way to run this with some heir of dignity! “ 

Reaching up to grab you by the nape of your neck, bringing your forehead down to rest against his own...hoping it would ground you a little “You got this baby..and you got me...I’d burn down the world for you in a second if need be and you know it! Imma get you through this...I promise!”

You let your eyes flutter shut briefly, trying to calm down, you could feel him pressing light kisses against your tear stained cheeks and you couldn't help but smile. Yeah, it was small, definitely did not reach your eyes but it was something...

“I know we aren’t the most honorable people, and he won’t get some fuckin gold plaque like the Mayor when he dies but my dad was a very honorable man for the work he did. And I’ve always tried to do the same, I just..fuck I just want him to be proud of me….I mean at least that.”  Your face hurts you were trying so hard not to cry anymore, a shaky breath ghosting off your lips. 

“He’s already never gonna see me, grow old or walk down the aisle or-.fuck..”  Shit…Hoseok look’s utterlly terried as to where this is going....

“Fuck, he’s never gonna see me walk down the aisle one day” Eyes wide, panicked I guess this was the first time you’d had that thought...the first time you’re really thinking about all the things you’d have to do without him. You've always promised yourself that regardless of how crazy your world is...eventually once you're settled you’d stop denying your heart of its desires! 

Having someone to endlessly love and share this empire with is something you’ve always wanted...and something your father always told you, you deserved and would have one day! 

“Hes nev- holy shit what if I have ki-oh my god.” Every word felt as though it was strangling you, as it hiccups from your chest “ Oh. My. God ” Now this was a lot, this was pain strong enough to split you in half, all the thoughts you’d been avioding suddenly rushed to the surface! 

Your full blown sobbing into the side of his neck … and Hosoek’s heart hurts , fuck it hurts. slouching down into the couch, engulfing your body into his arms which only made you cry even harder. Ya know what makes it even worse? Is that there isn’t a damn thing he can do about this kinda pain. There’s no one he can shoot or stab to make it go away and it’s fucking gut-wrenching, as your body breaks apart above him . 

“Shhh,your okay baby, it’ll be okay….” Even Hoseok didn’t believe that, he didn’t have the slightest idea as to how he was going to get you through losing the first man you ever loved! But fuck if he wasn’t going to try! 

“Listen to me, stop, don’t do that to yourself” Gripping the sides of your face tight enough in his palms to force you ro focus on him and only him. “Let’s get you home alright? Will talk about work and all the other bullshit later you just need-”

“Y/n! Y/n!” 

Who the actual hell...

The sound of someone squawking your name like they’d lost their damn minds had both of you rerouting your attention. Completely shattering the moment causing your body to tense on command. Your brains been wired for so many years to just cut off emotions at the blink of an eye it almost happens on autopilot now! Zoning in on the chaos that appears to be unfolding outside your door and within seconds your pain becomes old news! Which is….just great for your mental health but carry on! 

You could hear your guards all standing outside the door trying to calm whoever this person is with a very clear death wish down. However, they didn’t seem to falter.

“Y/n, open the damn door now! This is serious you can’t just shut me out like this!!” 

But wait, wait, wait, random’s don’t just get acess into the compound so there’s only so many options…

Then, you start to recognize the tenor...and so does Hoseok, and he’s fucking livid. You could literally feel every muscle in his body tense from beneath you. Reaching down to snatch you off his lap, and tucking  himself back into his pants so damn fast you almost got whiplash. If he wasn’t soft before he definitely was now! 

“You’ve gotta be shitting me!” Striding over to your desk to grab your Glock34 from the drawer. 

“I fuckin told him not to come here today...” Growled through gritted teeth, as he reloaded your gun, spinning the barrel. 

Shit.

”Yn! YN! We need to talk about what’s going on with dad!” The slow-motion drawl said it all, he’s high as hell and it’s your fucking brother…

“Ohhh, he wants to talk about your father?!” Tone loud and Exaggeratedly cheerful as they leave his lips sing song esque “Of fucking course he does!” 

“Hoseok-” Yeah, this wasn’t ending well, swiftly readjusting your dress back around your thighs. Though your thighs felt like a damn slinky you still ran over to barricade yourself in front of the door! The door that your brother was still banging on like a fucking idiot!

“Jason. Leave!!!” Praying the distress resonated through the pans of marble, your just now realizing how gone your voice truly is, honestly you don’t even know if he heard you. But for his sake, you hope it did, because it Hoseok gets through this door...

“Nooo,Jason stay!” 

“Hoseok…” Bracing your hand firm against his chest, pushing him away from the door. The warning laced within your tone was clear as all hell, no matter how brittel it was .

“Nah, he wants to talk, let’s fuckin talk! He’s the last thing you need to be worrying about right now, considering he only gives a fuck about you when he’s tapped out of his monthly allowance! What? All of a sudden he cares so deeply about your father?” Brow arched knowingly “ Let him even fix his mouth to say the word “Will” and I will buss a cap so far up his asshole, he’ll cough out all the coke he’s been sniffin’!”

“Y/n, I can have him escorted-”

“One second Spade!” That mans been around since you were in middle school. You know the sound of his voice anywhere, yeah even muffled through a marble wall.

“Comere” Tone dropping to a purr, that you knew wans’t fair but fuck it, no matter how angry he’s on you in seconds, like I said...he can’t deny you anything. 

Leaning forward to wrap your arms around his waist and you can feel how tense his body is initially...yet he still instinctively lets his hands find their home right on the swell of your ass. The edge of the glock resting against your waist…..

 “Baby, I know your angry, and I know that’s mostly because of me, hell I was just chewing him out a second ago. But at the end of the day he is my brother and that is our dad...that’s damn near on a fuckin resperator. I know how to keep him at arms length... I don’t have the mental capacity for this right now. But, I’m gonna open that door, and see what the hell he wants, and I need you, for me...to just chill. If he gets outta line I’ll have him escorted out.”  He physically growled at that, Hoseok would much rather handle this on his own.

Leaning up to card your fingers through his hair, acting as if you didn't even notice his little tantrum “I really need you by my side tonight, and I need you to stay calm,because I’m far from it. Let’s hear him out and if he steps out of lines he’s out.” 

Wrapping his hand around the one you have laced within his hair “You already know I can’t say no to you!” He’s pissed about it too, long gone are the days when he could just do what he pleased regardless of who it affected. 

“But I swear to go Y/n, if and when he steps outta line-fuck-you just better make sure,  your boys are ready to throw his ass out ...because if I do it...he’s gonna end up in the ER for more than just wirthdrawls!”

`__________________________________________________

THAT’S ALLL SHE WROTE FOR NOW…KINDA I ALSO WROTE HALF OF PART TWO, SO IF YOU ENJOYED SHOW THIS SOME LOVE AND COME TALK TO ME! My GENERAL RULE OF THUMB IS AS LONG AS SOMETHING GETS AT LEATS 100 LIKES I’LL CONSIDERING ADDING TO IT DOWN THE LINE!

ALSO,  A LITTLE BONUS BECAUSE I DID MAP OUT THE FIRST 4 CHAPTERS BACK WHEN I WROTE THIS...

_________________________________________________________

It’s clear the OC’s brother will probably/definitely be an issue, in more ways then one! As well as her father is obviously going to die, like, within the first couple of chapters.

Her family’s association is called “Grim” and she’s commonly known as “The princess of the Grim clan”. 

There is a 2nd member set to be introduced in part 2 that will eventually work for the OC...hint it’s a makane! He tries to robe one of their local establishments and well...clearly that probably won’t end too well…

Jin is a mob associate...his family's Forbes ranked multi-million dollar empire was founded with blood money! Sooo, he’s a mutual between “Grim” and “The King Tapian’s”.

3 of the other members are in another association overseas called “The King Tapian’s”. A name she’s heard of, as they have one hell of a rep but they’ve never “officially” crossed paths. That is, until another death within the mob world which brings a new territory on the market! One that her fathers been eying for years over in Europe! (Another hint, they kinda join forces and eventually agree to co-inhabit the area in efforts to shove another “shysterier” gang out, which in turn starts a little war if you will!) The other members would be a sub-focus however It was undecided as to how big of a part they’d all play!

 Lastly, the final member is a freelance hacker/hitman that knows Hoseok very well, so much so the pair used to fool around back in the day so yes that would make him BI! 

I was also undecided if I wanted to incorporate another member sexually or not...as I’d dabbled with the idea of them being in an open relationship! There was also the possibility of making the “King Tapian” Boys lowkey poly! Either solely male on male or maybe throw in the idea of a minor female character who i’d name so there’s no confusion! 

The overall gist of the story was essentially the OC finding her footing after her father dies. Making her own path as one of the only women in charge on the black market! While also creating some allies and gaining of course some enemies along the way! Regardless this would also be a Hoseok centered series with the possibility of semi regular OT7 guest appearances!

  Love you as always,

Rocki,

[wulved]

i feel like a tl;dr on some of my lore is needed because i essentially built it from the ground up, and the show only gives us like 10% and i had to fill everything else in and i also rewrote a lot .  this will be temporary until i get my ass together to put it all up on a google doc.  hopefully i got everything, but if i missed something i will go back and add to it as i remember

first some of the vocab from the show that i use that’s probably confusing:

zweilt’s / zweilt guardians :  “god’s warriors.” a group of individuals who are continuously reincarnated and gifted with different supernatural powers that aid them in fighting demons and keeping the balance of the world in order

duras :  the word for “demon”

niedertracht :  lowest ranking demons, normally appear in the form of animal like beings ,  with red glowing eyes    &    black crystalline skin

mid-villain :  mid ranking demon, as the name suggests. appear humanoid, but closely resemble sprites or fae. they do have the ability to gain more power and rank up to opast over time

opast :  the most high ranking type of demon, just below the demon king himself. known to be deceptively and strikingly beautiful, usually spotted by their tell tale fangs, claw like nails, and slitted pupils

the demon king :  their ruler of hell, the highest ranking and most powerful demon

infernus :  their version of hell / the underworld. the home of the demon king    &    all demons

the black lake :  a lake that takes up a vast majority of infernus. its waters are pitch black and deep, reflecting only the starlight above. it is said that any who try to journey through it have never returned

lore changes from the show that i personally made    (  if you’ve never heard of the show or read anything about it, you probably don’t need to read this part  )

luze does not exist. the idea of him is stupid im so sorry

the demon king is not “lucifer,” but an entirely separate entity named alcmena

the “bloody cross” is both a branding and a contract / blood pact made between luka and alcmena. this does not make luka his servent as the show suggests, but instead makes luka unwaveringly loyal :  i.e. he cannot directly harm or usurp alcmena’s throne. he can still hold distasteful feelings, and downright hate him, but he cannot commit any acts to betray him. this contract also placed luka as the leader of alcmena’s demon army, and binds him to stay in that position eternally

the zweilt’s know luka’s real name. for the love of god i don’t know why he used the codename zess, that just doesn’t happen. what a weird idea

since the zweilt’s usually retain their memories with each reincarnation, that means they KNOW luka, and he’s close with at least some of them, specifically touko and tsukumo. they consider one another family

luka is the most powerful demon to exist to date

luka has jet black angel wings, we see them in the intro and then never again. he has them. they are hidden most of the time, only visible and tangible to others when he wills it

now luka’s backstory / lore in as short as i can get it

luka is the son of alcmena, the demon king, and an angel named mora crosszeria

from his very birth alcmena was wary of the power luka could possess. the combination of the most powerful demon in existence, and an actual angel was potent, having both divine and demonic blood in his veins

mora noted this, and became afraid of what alcmena would do if left with their son, and she ran away with luka to the mortal world, where she hoped to raise him on her own. 

despite this alcmena still sent demons to watch luka as he began to grow, and after noticing severe power spikes that lead him to believe luka would grow to be more powerful than him, he had mora killed and brought luka back to infernus as a young child

alcmena treated him decently, not well, but not horrible. he never acted as a father, and often passed him off onto a demon named elya to care for him. elya, secretly an old friend of mora’s, tried her best to shelter luka from alcmena while raising him. alcmena mostly just wanted to keep tabs on his growing power, and other than that left him alone

once luka became an adult, alcmena banned elya from seeing him any longer, after gathering that she had spoken ill against him and told luka to follow in his mother’s footsteps. at this point alcmena was well aware that luka had become more powerful than him, and that if he so choose it he could very well usurp the throne. he was lucky, however, because luka himself was not aware of the full extext of his power

now an adult, luka began to speak out against alcmena and defy him, often starting fights wherein his untrained powers would explode and injure alcmena. to stop this, he forced luka into a contract of loyalty. luka did not yet known the full extent of how cruel alcmena was, and did not bother reading the contract. luka was then branded with two blood red x’s on his upper forearm, and the deal was sealed with blood. 

luka was now unwaveringly loyal to alcmena, and would therefore be unable to cause him any physical harm, or to start any sort of uprising against him. along with this, to keep luka busy and exhausted, he put him in sole charge of the demon army. he was to watch after, train, and lead them into battle day in and day out without rest. it was only then luka began to see the full extent of his father’s cruelty. tricked into an eternal contract, and constantly battle torn and exhausted. and because he could not strike alcmena due to the contract, any form of speaking out against him or disobeying commands would result in punishment

eventually exhausted by this ordeal, luka takes his familiar and decides to try to look for the path out of infernus. he single handedly crosses the black lake, and finds a cave that leads to the mortal world

there, he meets yuki giou. a zweilt guardian, and someone he had seen briefly on battlefields fighting against his armies. 

luka and yuki begin to sneak off together to meet, with luka traversing the deadly lake in infernus to see her. eventually luka tells her of the contract binding him to alcmena, and she offers him a deal. instead, he could make a contract with her. a contract bound by heaven, and the divine, would overrule anything alcmena had done. and because of the angelic blood in luka, this contract would be especially binding. in return he would swear to protect her, and to stay by her side. luka agrees. the contract with alcmena is broken, and he never returns to infernus again

luka remains bound to yuki and the other zweilt’s, fighting against other demons to protect them. he is known as a traitor, or betrayer to his kind

npc’s of my creation

alcmena :  luka’s father, the demon king

mora crosszeria :  luka’s mother, an angel 

elya :  one of the first demons created, sister of laelia and phaedrian, represents “speak no evil.” caretaker / adoptive mother of luka. mute, speaks strictly telepathically, lives at the far edge of infernus, deep within a thick woods, exiled

laelia :  one of the first demons created, sister of elya and phaedrian, represents “hear no evil” deaf, resides both in the castle and on the shores of the black lake

phaedrian :  one of the first demons created, brother of elya and laelia, represents “see no evil” blind, the gatekeeper of infernus

wolf mrithun :  the first of death’s reapers, often appeared around luka when he was in infernus, andreas’ love interest

andreas :  a mortal prophet who foretells of luka’s eventual overthrow of alcmena

canon characters

sodom :  luka’s familiar, a giant dragon that often takes the form of a large wolf. found shivering and abandoned as a baby on the shore of the black lake by luka

yuki giou :  “god’s light,” the most important member of the zweilt’s, luka’s love interest and the focus of the show

touko, tsukumo, hotsuma, and shusei :  the other zweilt guardians

takashiro giou :  leader of the zweilt’s ,  immortal ,  in an eternal dogfight with reiga because he killed his girlfriend like 500 years ago

cadenza and elegy :  two high ranking opasts that torment luka, very powerful, ranking just below luka and alcmena. cadenza took over leading the army once luka abandonded infernus

reiga :  basically just the bad guy, hates takashiro which i think is understandable

[marshmallowprotection]

I HAVE FINISHED TURQUOISE’S INFO (her name is now Jessamine)!

Also heres a link to the song “The Last Revolver” by Mothy, though note this is a cover with a newer version of Gumi’s voicebank, and this is also a fanmade PV remake of the original PV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xsdMtgEJEg 

This song is directly responsible for giving me the inspiration to make Jessamine. uwu

Also ignore the weird spacing I made this in google docs originally and apparently it decided to copy paste like that and im too lazy to fix it oof also its kind of long sooo oof.

like…2398 words long ;-;

I suggest you listen to “The Last Revolver” whilst reading this. idk gives mood lol

Name: Jessamine ‘Jess’ Belle 

 Aliases (If Any): Evera (Assassin Name)

 Age: 20 (On Liam’s Death)

24 (Currently)

 Date of Birth/Birthday: Day 31 of Aria’s Star, 2045 T.C. (the equivalent of December 31st)

 Zodiac: Sagittarius 

 Status: Alive

 Species: Human

 Magic:

 Height: 5'0 (152 Centimeters)

 Ethnicity: Mijean

 Relatives: Unnamed Mother✝

Unnamed Father✝

Liam Adelson (Fiance)✝

 Birth Place: Collapsed Kingdom of Mijea, Theda

 Nationality/Current Residence: Mariah Empire, Theda

 Religion (Which Goddess Do they Worship?): None

 Occupation: Assassin Employed By Kiara Malories (Formerly)

Wandering Gunner

 Affiliations: Kiara Malories (Formerly)

Kingdom of Mijea (Formerly)

None

Personality (In Phrases): Uptight, Cold, Adorable (According to Liam), Secretly Really Kind, Just Kind of Quiet, Stubborn, Was Kind of Clingy To Liam Due To Having Literally Nobody Else, Her Parents Died In The Mercenian Invasion of The Kingdom of Mijea In 2062, And She Had Basically No Friends, So Liam Became Her Rock, She’s Still In Mourning, She’s Extremely Suicidal, Pretty Unstable, Has A Temper

 Marital Status: Engaged To Liam Adelson (Formerly)

Single

 Sexuality: Heterosexual

 Likes: Her Revolver, Macarons, Liam, Cherry Blossoms, Hummingbirds, Butterflies, The Color Purple, People Who Don’t Get In Her Way of Revenge

 Dislikes: Spicy Foods, Her Height, Kiara Malories, Mercenians, The State of Mercenia, Killing For No Reason (Developed After Liam’s Death), The Ocean (She Doesn’t Know How To Swim), People Who Do Get In Her Way of Revenge, Anyone Who Tells Her Suicide Doesn’t Solve Anything, Anyone Who Tells Her She Doesn’t Need To Get Revenge, Anyone Who Claims Liam Wouldn’t Want Her To Do [Anything Under The Sun]

 Role: Secondary Character

Debut: Undecided

 Random Facts: 

Her smile is absolutely beautiful to see. However, she hasn’t smiled since her fiance, Liam, died.

She’s one of the last pure Mijeans still alive, as most were slaughtered in the Mercenian Invasion of 2062 T.C. in a genocidal sort of fashion. There are an estimated 500 Mijeans still walking the planet, and likely a lot more half-Mijeans exist than pure Mijeans.

The revolver she currently uses is a very expensive, efficient one that is very rare, which Liam gave to her for her birthday a few hours before she realized she had to kill him. 

Jess is the definition of a person who gets really, adorably mad if you dare mention how short she is. 

Liam was 6'0, a full 12 inches taller than Jess. You can bet that Liam teased her about it constantly. 

Liam often picked up Jess in order to kiss her without hurting his neck. It wasn’t very hard since she’s fairly light. She was a flustered mess about it constantly.

When they first met, Jess didn’t tell Liam her real name on the spot, instead telling him her assassin name, Everina. He called her Ever most of the time, and when she confessed to him, that was when she told him her real name. He still called her Ever sometimes, but usually only if they were (for any reason) in public.

Very rarely, Liam called Jess “Mina”, which was a nickname he alone used for her. He only called her that during extremely personal, special moments (e.g. first kiss, kisses in general, making love, and when Jess had to kill him)

It’s very easy to fluster Jess, usually, just give her a peck on the cheek or her lips, or pick her up, and she’ll get flustered immediately.

Jess’s most sensitive spot is the right side of her neck, like sort of between her neck and shoulder. Liam used this to his advantage ;3

Jess is extremely ticklish on her sides, but nowhere else.

Jess’s favorite season is Spring due to it being when she met Liam, and her least favorite is Winter due to it being the season where she had to kill Liam.

Jess dreads and just plain old hates her birthday as her birthday doubles as the day where she had to kill Liam. 

The only reason Jess hasn’t killed herself yet is that she feels she needs to kill Kiara first as vengeance for Liam. She plans to kill herself immediately afterward.

Jess plans to give Kiara an extremely painful, long death.

Jess is terrifying when she is determined to kill someone. Seriously, don’t get in her way. Else you’ll be killed too.

Jess’s favorite things about Liam according to her was his blue eyes and his dark, maroonish hair. His eyes because to her they were beautiful and she loved staring into them, his hair because it was extremely soft. 

Jess is a total bottom 99% of the time…except one time when Liam let her top.

Liam constantly attempted to make Jess laugh, which was usually successful whether his joke was good or not, most times she laughed because his jokes were just stupid but in a funny way

Liam is 3 years older than Jess, being 22 when they met in 2064 T.C. and 23 when he died in 2065 T.C. as he was born on Day 13 of Ayja’s Star/September 13th, 2042 T.C.

Jess’s situation is a bit similar to Cora Hallow’s, as Jess lost everything she loved and became a wandering gunner, and swore revenge upon the person responsible, where Cora lost her entire family (supposedly) in the fire of Saseraia and swore revenge upon Nymeria believing her to be the one responsible; The fact that actually Jess is descended from a bastard line (descended of a bastard child of one of Cora’s descendants- also can I just say, Cora had one biological child, a daughter, who was conceived using early, experimental artificial insemination technologies and paved the way for refinement of such technologies for same-sex couples- it’s not that important but I wanted to mention it cus why not) of Cora makes it kind of ironic because history is sort of repeating itself in a way. 

The reason Liam was targeted by Kiara was that he found out what Kiara was through overhearing her talking to someone at his police station, and due to that, she wanted him dead because he was also getting in her way by rescuing some of the other people she wanted dead or killing the criminals she wanted to recruit. He was also planning to reveal to the world what she was.

Backstory: Jessamine “Jess” Belle was born the only child of a pair of general store owners in the Kingdom of Mijea on the coldest day of the year. Jess’s childhood is relatively uneventful, until when she was 17 in 2062 T.C., when the State of Mercenia invaded the Kingdom of Mijea, looking to absorb it into its territory as it was falling into chaos anyway. Jess’s parents die helping Jess escape. She flees the country and ends up passing out on the border of the Kingdom of Lavinia, being found by Kiara Malories (who is really just Aya having possessed Nymeria’s body and using the body appearance changing spell that was within Nymeria’s ability pool to make herself look different), who takes her in, on the condition,  however, that Jess becomes an assassin working for her. Having basically no other choice, Jess agrees and is taught how to use a gun by another assassin in Kiara’s employ, as it turns out Kiara had a whole group of assassins and other people working for her for vastly different reasons. Jess begins her work as an assassin for Kiara by killing about 40~ people within the next 2 years (20 per year).

 On the first day of spring (Day 1 of Xomura’s Star/February 1st, Note The Calendar of This World Is Different In Which The Year Starts In April Instead of January And Thus Ends In March) of 2064 T.C. Jess goes to a small hill with a cherry blossom tree on it, which was a spot she loved to go to think about everything. However, that day was different in a significant way: Jess met a tall man with maroon hair and eyes. She indulged him with some idle chatter, telling him her name was Everina when asked. As he talked (and flirted a bit) with her, she learned his name was Liam and that like her, he was one of the survivors of the Mercenian Invasion of 2062, but that he was spared only because he was not Mijean, rather, he was from Aleon, at least, he was born there, but his parents moved to the Kingdom of Mijea when he was young. Jess also learns he is a police officer, and due to that remains cautious of him, always being prepared to kill him in case he ever suddenly turned on her. However, as they continued to meet up together at that cherry blossom tree, Jess steadily began to trust him.

 In Summer (Day 28 of Kaila’s Star/August 28th; Summer Starts On June 20th/Day 20 of Eros’s Star In This World; Also The Year Is Now 2065 T.C. As April Has Passed), Jess was invited by Liam to a “date” according to him, though she chalked it up to him just flirting with her yet again, but accepted the invitation anyway. He took her to a park where together they watched a meteor shower that only happened once every 460 years, and that the last time this meteor shower happened was around when Archbishop Briella, the first archbishop under the new government system and after the Second Great Theda Civil War, was on her death bed. After the meteor shower was over, Liam confessed that he had fallen in love with Jess, and conflicted, Jess asked him to give her some time to think. After a few days of thinking, Jess realized she had fallen for Liam as well, and asked him to meet her under the same cherry blossom tree that had met at originally, and when they both arrived, she confessed to him that she had fallen in love with him as well. She also told him that she had lied to him about her name, as she didn’t trust him originally, and revealed to him her real name was Jessamine or Jess for short. Liam, overwhelmed with joy, picked her up and kissed her, calling her “Mina” for the first time, and over time it evolved into a special nickname that only he was allowed to call her. Liam also laughed when he saw Jess’s extremely flustered face after he kissed her.

 In Autumn, Jess and Liam’s relationship truly blossomed, and mid-way through the season, they made love for the first time. And, mid-way through the last month of the season, Harmonia’s Star, Liam proposed to her, and Jess accepted. However, near the end of the season, Jess learned her next target was a man named Liam Adelson. While she was distressed at first at seeing the name “Liam”, she calmed herself by telling herself that the Liam she was engaged to and Liam Adelson must be different people- but deep inside there was a feeling of dread that told her that the two Liams were the same person.

 In Winter, Jess asked Liam what his last name was, and he said he’d tell her if she told him hers, and she agreed. He revealed that his last name was Adelson, and in shock, she slowly said her last name was Belle before collapsing onto her knees, breaking into tears. Liam asked what was wrong but she fled not even a minute later. For the next month, she avoided Liam as much as possible, but eventually, he found her back at the cherry blossom tree they met at together all the time in mid Aria’s Star (December). Jess revealed that she was actually an assassin and that all the murders that had been happening had been her and her colleagues working. She told him she didn’t have a choice because she had nowhere else to go. She had been lying to her colleagues that she hadn’t been able to find him anywhere and that’s what it was taking so long to kill him because she desperately didn’t want to kill him. Before Liam could say another word Jess fled once again. On the 31st of Aria’s Star (December 31st), Liam got Jess a gift: a very rare, very efficient revolver, having known she had a fascination with revolvers and had planned to buy herself one. While she had originally claimed she was going to use it for self-defense, Liam knew she was likely using it to kill people. Liam managed to find Jess under the cherry blossom tree yet again, presented to her his gift. When she asked why he had gotten her a revolver, Liam told her to kill him with it. It was made to kill people as quickly as possible. He had even gotten her bullets. He told her that he didn’t want her to lose her home, or neglect what she had to do. In tears, Jess told him she didn’t want to kill him and even suggested they just run away, but Liam told her that there were others after him and that he would likely die anyway, so if he was going to die, he wanted it to be by her hand. Before Jess could say another word he picked her up and kissed her. When he finally broke the kiss, he quickly grabbed Jess’s revolver, knowing she would be unable to gain the courage to shoot him, and shot himself for her, his last words being “I love you, Mina.”

 That day, Jess ran away from Kiara and swore revenge against her. 

And to this day, in the year 2070 T.C., she still looks to do that, waiting for the day she can kill Kiara and then kill herself so she can be reunited with Liam. 

— Submission

Ah, yes, holding the gun that tilts the fate of the universe. Gumi songs always tend to have a really specific note to them and this one assuredly is wild and a lot to take in when you listen to it in the context of the Villainious series. Glad to see it play out, though. I think there’s something bittersweet about how she was forced to do this, but her love stopped her from having to stain her hands with his blood. Him taking the shot himself implies that he loves her enough to die for her if he must. 

It’s upsetting that there was no way out. But, pain and grief in stories like this provide an arc for a character to follow and deal with, and perhaps her story will not entirely end in misery, but peace and resolution of the fate that she’s been dealt and what it means to be okay with where you’re heading and what you’ve been forced through. 

[pindaleng]

Title: But I Knew You

Pairing: Avatrice

Chapters: 1/1

Wordcount: 2270

Summary: College AU. Beatrice is Ava’s favorite person. Ava loves being around her in a way she can’t explain. She wants to do everything with her, from studying to partying to walks outside. Which is completely normal for best friends.

Getting flustered by close contact and fake flirting is also definitely a super normal friendship thing.

Read on AO3 or below.

“I don’t get it.”

Beatrice sighed from her desk. “You don’t have to, it’s organic chemistry.”

“But I feel like I should. Like, this is the structure of living things right? I’m living, so I should understand how it works.”

“You use the internet, but you don’t know how that works.”

“Good point.” Ava shut the thick textbook in front of her. She didn’t really want to learn anyways. “You done yet?”

Beatrice sighed again, turning in her chair to face Ava, who was sitting on her bed. “We’ve only been working half an hour, and I specifically said I was spending the entire day studying. Which you should be doing too, since I know you said you have an exam Monday.”

“Fine Ms. Studious.” Ava made a big show of loudly unzipping her backpack and finally pulling out her laptop and notebooks. “I’ll…study,” she said, punctuating her last word with air quotes.

Beatrice narrowed her eyes, definitely looking skeptical, but turned back to her own pile of schoolwork.

Ava opened up her Google doc notes on her laptop, and simultaneously picked up her phone to check Twitter. Beatrice was right to doubt her; she practically never did any work on Saturdays. That’s what Sundays were for.

And yet, every Saturday, she showed up at Beatrice’s room under the guise of studying, just so she could hang out with her favorite person. Beatrice was one of the few people Ava felt comfortable in silence with, maybe due to all the death glares she’s received from Beatrice when she’s being too distracting.

Either way, she found comfort in it, even if they’re just sitting in the same room together, focused on their own activities. Beatrice studying, and Ava scrolling through social media on her phone, occasionally typing a paragraph or two for a paper due the following week.

They’re pretty much polar opposites, and Ava often wondered how they stuck as friends. Probably due to the weird crucible of living on the same freshman year dorm floor. People got to know everyone really quickly, for better or worse.

Luckily, it turned out for the better with everyone Ava met. A few of them with rooms in the north wing bonded fast, and they rented a house together for their sophomore year. She loved them all: Mary, Lilith, Camila, and Beatrice.

But especially Beatrice.

Beatrice was smart, kind, and witty, and honestly the best listener Ava’s ever met. Ava unabashedly talks a lot. Like, a lot. And being like that, people can lose interest as conversation and friendships progress.

But Beatrice still gave Ava her full attention after a year of Ava talking her ear off. Which was still impressive every time.

It’s cool.

It’s cool that she has a solid group of friends when there was no one back home to keep in touch with.

She really loved it here.

There were so many things to do and people to meet, sometimes she still got overwhelmed by it all.

And the best place to get the full experience? College parties.

It was the midst of midterm season, but honestly all the more necessary to have something to blow off stress. And to be real, midterm season lasted from the second month of school to the end of the semester. So, no better time than the present.

After Ava got kicked out of Beatrice’s room for being too distracting, she spent most of that evening helping the rest of her housemates set up their party. Mary was in charge of getting alcohol, having the most connection with older students. Lilith put Ava and Camila in charge of cleaning and setting up, which basically meant that Lilith didn’t trust Ava to actually do the work well. Ava would have been offended if she didn’t enjoy spending time with Camila so much. The girl was a ball of literal sunshine, yet also unexpectedly, full of dirty jokes.

So, setting up the apartment with Camila was a party in itself, full of fun banter and deep life discussions.

Ava just finished putting out the snacks and booze, when the first people arrived. She cracked open a bottle of Fireball, and downed a double shot.

Ava happily shook out her body as the the liquid warmed her up. It was going to be a good night.

———

Ava’s in the middle of laughing at some stranger’s story when she caught sight of a figure coming down the stairs. She grinned.

“Woo! Life of the party’s here!!!” She yelled across the room, startling the people around her, and drawing Beatrice’s attention towards her. If Ava was sober, maybe she would have cared more that Beatrice looked slightly (very) embarrassed, but Ava definitely wasn’t sober. She half skipped and half jogged across the room, undoubtedly spilling her drink on herself and several bystanders.

She hugged Beatrice tightly when she reached her. God it felt nice. Like sinking into a bed of clouds. Or something similarly soft and fluffy and comforting. “I missed you.”

Beatrice laughed softly, close to Ava’s ear. The best sound in the world. “You just saw me a couple of hours ago.”

Ava pulled away and pouted. “Still.”

Beatrice smiled, in a perfect way that made her entire face brighter. Holy hell she was beautiful. “Well, I finished up for the day and I’m here now. Any chance you can show me where the party is?” Her eyes sparkled with playfulness.

Ava looked at her in disbelief. “Wait seriously? You wanna join?”

“I can’t be a dud at a party in my own house, can I?”

Beatrice had definitely sat out on many parties they’ve hosted, but Ava ignored that. For now, she was going to enjoy this win. She led her to the kitchen, where various bottles of alcohol and sodas crowded their dining table. Beatrice shrugged when Ava asked what she wanted, so she just made a vodka cranberry. It was a crowd pleaser drink in her opinion. Plus, some rich kid brought Grey Goose, which was probably double or triple the price of everything else on the table.

Beatrice took a sip. “Not bad.”

“I may not know much,” Ava tapped her index finger a couple times to her temple, “but I do know my liquor.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, you also know how to get on my nerves.” Beatrice said teasingly, voice devoid of any malice.

Ava took a overdramatic bow. “Thank you, m’lady.” She refilled her own cup with a mixture of vodka and sprite. “Shall we?” Ava offered her hand to the other girl.

Beatrice rolled her eyes, but put her hand in Ava’s.

Ava led them back to the main room, navigating through groups of bodies to eventually land them at a couch, which was miraculously unclaimed.

From there, Ava launched into basically non-stop talking, wanting to entertain Beatrice in the best way she knew how. She shared stories of all the people she met during the night so far, with Beatrice supplementing the conversation with appropriate reactions and commentary. Ava recounted one guy that recklessly challenged her to shotgunning a beer against him. Spoiler alert, he lost miserably. Ava watched Beatrice’s eyes as much as she could while she was talking, entranced with their intenseness, openness, and expression. Did they always look like that?

The eye contact felt so personal, like it took away everyone else in the room, ignoring the raging party and loud music around them.

And the music was definitely loud, though the song choices were good. Mary knew how to set up a playlist. Ava got banned from music duty when she un-ironically added in Friday by Rebecca Black.

No regrets.

After exhausting all the tales from that night, she moved to discussing and speculating with Beatrice on the backstories of all the partygoers. People watching with Beatrice was always fun. As strait-laced as she appeared, Beatrice was also incredibly creative. Whatever wild stuff Ava theorized, Beatrice could match or do better.

At one point, a couple joined them on the couch, pushing Ava into Beatrice, pressing their sides together. The couch was much too small to comfortably fit 3 people, much less four.

“Shit, sorry.” Ava tried her best to back up and give Beatrice space, but there was nowhere to go.

Beatrice put a hand on her thigh and smiled. “Ava, it’s fine.”

Ava suddenly found it hard to breathe. Probably due to being surrounded by two more people.

“You okay?” Beatrice furrowed her eyebrows.

“Yeah, think I just need to get out here for a bit. Wanna take a walk?”

“Sure.”

There was a nice, cool breeze outside, a welcome relief from the humid air inside. It was also much quieter.

Beatrice suggested getting ice cream from Mcdonald’s and Ava emphatically agreed. Beatrice really knew her.

Fifteen minutes later she was contently humming to herself as they walked back to the house. This was the best party ever. She had an ice cream cone in one hand and somehow Beatrice’s hand in the other. A perfect night. Ava’s pretty sure this is the happiest she’s ever been in her entire life.

———

Ava groaned as she slid back into consciousness. She felt grimy, which was not unusual for her after a night of drinking.

She did a quick self inventory to assess the damage.

She was in her own bed, which was good. Boxers? On. Shirt? Also on, but in her sleep shirt instead of the button up she was wearing last night. Interesting. No bra. Also interesting.

She felt around to her right and left. No body in the bed with her. Good to know.

Minimal pounding in her head. She sat up, breathing a sigh of relief that she didn’t feel like throwing up.

She noticed a glass of water and a couple of Advils on her nightstand. Definitely Beatrice. No one else would be nice enough. Okay maybe Camila, but she still had bets on Beatrice.

She quickly washed down the pills with water and slipped on shorts and a pullover before making her way downstairs to the kitchen.

Mary was sitting at the table eating, and Beatrice at the stove pouring batter into a pan.

“Pancakes, oh my god. Bea you’re the best.” Ava gave Beatrice a tight hug and overdramatic sloppy kiss on the cheek.

Beatrice playfully pushed Ava away and made a show of wiping the kiss off her face. “Yeah yeah I know, now eat it while it’s still hot.”

Ava saluted. “Got it chef.”

“Dork.”

“You love it.”

“No comment.”

Ava’s in the middle of inhaling her fifth pancake when Mary said something. Beatrice left the room about a pancake ago, so it could only have been directed at Ava.

“What?” Ava momentarily stopped chewing.

Mary got up and started rinsing her dishes in the sink. “I said, you should really tell her how you feel.”

Ava knitted her eyebrows together. “About what?”

Mary stared at her for a while, long enough to make Ava to feel uncomfortable. Her mouth was still full, and Mary has perfected the gaze that made her feel like a kid in trouble.

“Never mind,” she said, as she put her dishes in the dishwasher.

“About what??” She repeated. Mary ignored her and walked out the kitchen. Ava swallowed the rest of the food in her mouth. “Asshole!” Ava yelled after her, eliciting a middle finger response.

Beatrice appeared in the doorway. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just Mary being cryptic and messing with me.”

“Sounds about right.”

Beatrice sat down at the table. “How are you feeling?”

“Surprisingly… not bad. Seriously thank you for the food and Advils,” Ava remembered her state of dress when she woke up. “And…probably also for helping me out of my clothes.”

“Oh um, right, it was nothing. Didn’t want you sleeping in an uncomfortable, sweaty shirt.” Ava noticed Beatrice’s cheeks turn a little pink. Shit, she didn’t mean to embarrass her. She could fix this.

“Did you see something you like?” Ava wiggled her eyebrows, trying to lighten the mood, but it only made Beatrice blush harder. Oh my god Ava you’re so bad at this. She felt herself digging herself into a hole. Of course fake flirting with her is going to make it worse.

Ava was about to say something (probably dumb) to attempt again to save the situation, before Beatrice spoke.

“How could I not? You’re beautiful.”

For once, Ava was speechless. The incredibly reverent but casual way Beatrice said it completely took her breath away. There was something magical about how soft Beatrice’s eyes were, and how vulnerable it felt. Half of Ava felt calmed, while the other half of her was a raging mess. Ava felt the need to do something. She wasn’t sure what, but she needed to do something. She started racking her garbled brain for any ideas.

Beatrice’s smile slowly slid into a smirk, “Got you.”

The spell of the moment was broken. Ava laughed to dust off any lingering weird feelings. “Wow, got a taste of my own medicine. I’m impressed.”

“I had a good teacher. You should have seen your face.” Beatrice mimicked a “deer in the headlights” look for a brief moment before grinning again. She got up from the table. “Now hurry up and finish your food so we can get to the library. I’m not going to let you forget about studying for your midterm tomorrow.”

“Right. Yeah.”

“Cool.” Beatrice slapped Ava’s arm playfully before leaving the room.

Ava watched her go, wondering what in the living hell just happened. Fuck. Was she about to kiss her best friend?

[god-touched-monsters]

1, 2 & 4 for the Munday meme. Also hello.

(( Hello to you as well! ^^;; I've been slow talking to people since I'm just getting back from a very long hiatus, but I'm also excited to meet new friends. ))

at what age did you start RPing?

I made my first rp blog in... nov 2015, I had to look that up. It was in the Megamind fandom @syx-blue. It spiraled from there because I have no control over the quantity of muses I have but I've loved every moment of it. As far as roleplay in general, I tabletop and LARPed before starting on tumblr, that started back in 2005? And before that I did forum rp in high school. **edit** I see now that it said age so larping at 22, tumblr at 29

do you RP anywhere else, other than tumblr?

I rp on discord and through google docs with close friends.

on what platform did you start RPing?

other than the ancient forums, tumblr was my start for written rp.

what made you choose this muse?

I'm going to answer for Benny since she's the main on this blog. I've always loved Egyptian Mythology for as long as I can remember but I recall my interest in Sobek specifically started with K. A. Applegate's Everworld series. When the kids had gotten to the Egypt section of the books, Sobek was the main god featured and her take on him was just fascinating and stuck in my head for the longest time. So as I was experimenting from moving from rping canon characters to bringing my OCs into the tumblr rp space, I decided Benny was the one.

Tbh, I don't know if I decided on the name Benny first or if I just loved the name Benerib "sweet of heart" for a crocodile, but rather than playing a god themselves I wanted to explore the ideas of demi gods and refusing the call to action trope. Benny just sort of evolved from there and as I'm prone to do, the backstories and side muses have just grown exponentially in the time I was away from tumblr.

(( on a side note, crocodiles in general are just fascinating creatures and how they are just ancient monsters, barely changing over thousands of thousands of years. ))

[som3thingcr3ative]

Voluspa Part 5

It’s HERE!!!!!!! I promised a new chapter, and I have delivered. This one is a little slower, but things will pick up veeeery soon, I just needed to get some backstory in, some life in characters. 

(side note, this looks longer on my google docs...the next one will be longer and sooner, I promise.)

synopsis: Astrid is welcomed to the feast and to Kattegat. She meets a new ally and settles into her new home, enjoying the attentions of a certain Viking King. 

warnings: mentions of suicide, drinking, slavery. 

previously: 

“I have seen it,” I say, raising my chin just a tad. My fingers leave Einar’s fur and relax at my side. No fear. “The gods have shown me.”“

“I like this one,” Ivar muses, leaning forward once again, his eyes on me. “You are welcome here, Astrid. So long as your loyalties remain true, you are my honored guest. Welcome to Kattegat!”

PART 1 2 3 4 5 6

That night, I can relax. Old Norse takes no effort for me; it comes as naturally as any language to a native speaker, which allows my efforts to shift toward containing a disturbing number of prophecies from slipping out of my mouth. Normally, if I were to prophesy, it would be in Old Norse around english speaking people- seen as nothing more than a character quirk, but around Vikings, the prophecy would be chilling. I would be avoided at all costs if one wanted to keep their sanity. 

So for the small blessing of control, I am thankful. 

There is good ale (a bit weak compared to beer, but still enough to loosen the tongue), good food (without all of the hormones and hassle of my previous home), and good company. Vikings share their stories of raids and victories- and with enough ale, their defeats. Only once do I think of Damon; of how he would love to hear these stories from living history itself- so I chug the ale in my cup and get a refill from the blushing (and very thankful) servant girl whose arse I’d saved earlier, all thoughts of my brother banished. I learn that her name is Rita, that she was captured from what is to be France, and that by giving her the distraction needed to clean up and act as if nothing had happened, I’d spared her a great deal of pain. 

An idea blossoms. I turn to Ivar who sits to my right. “My king, could I pay you for this servant girl? I wish for her to be my handmaiden.”

Ivar’s eyes barely glance over the girl. He smiles at me and waves a hand. “You are my guest, Astrid. There is no need to pay me for her; she is yours.”

I grin at him and bow my head just briefly. “I am grateful, my King.” He nods and turns back to his food and his conversation with Ubbe while I smile at the girl. 

“Well Rita, it appears you will not suffer any more punishments. From now on, you are under my protection.” 

Rita’s jaw drops. In old french, I add “as my handmaiden, you will be given a great deal of freedom- all I ask is that you do not lie to me or plot behind my back.”

“Yes, my lady!” She replies in enthusiastic french. “Thank you so much, my lady!”

“Go get yourself cleaned up-” I hand her a small coin ‘borrowed’ from a drunken Jarl encountered on the journey here. “And get some new clothes. You are a handmaiden now, it’s best you look like it.” 

She turns the coin over and over between dirty fingers, her eyes wide. Finally she nods to me and scampers off, grinning like a fool. I allow myself a victorious smile and take a sip of ale. 

Only a few minutes pass before Ivar turns to me, at Ubbe’s goading. 

“You are certainly a puzzle, Astrid.” He comments, eyeing me. “I am told you rode here on a stallion with no tack- and then carried your own bags to this hall where you proceeded to single-handedly beat three men.” He glances down at Einar who is draped over my feet, crunching away at a cow femur. “With a wolf, no less.”

“I assure you, my King, it is quite the story.”

“Ivar.” He smiles. “No need for pleasantries, you are my guest.”

Another small smile. A gracious tip of my head. “Ivar,” I correct. “If you have the time, perhaps I could tell you?”

He raises his mug, signalling a servant to serve him more ale. Once the cup is full, he sips at it, eyes never leaving me. “I have all the time in the world.” 

My brows lift. I take a swig of ale, making a show of it. He laughs. 

“It’s one of those stories, is it?”

I grin. “It all started nineteen years ago, when my mother pushed me out of her body screaming and covered in blood…

My childhood was a pleasant one, by most accounts. I had a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food on the table. When I was three, my father died. As the first born, I inherited his ability to sense...things. Things that I shouldn’t have known. Things that, for a while, drove me crazy. I scared people. One man jumped off of a cliff because I told him his wife would die by his hands if he did not kill himself first. He believed me because I had been right before- another man had a baby girl- I told him that he would have an accident and kill his child, but he scoffed at me. One day he was carrying his child through the house when he tripped, sending the baby flying. She landed on her head and broke her neck, just like that. He killed himself two days later. 

We moved away. Packed up everything we had and left. My mother trained me to hold those prophecies in, to keep them from hurting anyone, so instead they hurt me. I look at someone and I know how they will die. I know the defining moments of their life and their worst mistakes. And I keep all of that bottled up inside of me. 

So I started fresh. I turned to animals instead of people. Animals do not expect things of you. They want to give and receive love, they do not judge or place blame. They do not envy or betray. If you trust them and give them reason to trust you, they will be there for you, no matter what. The best part is, I can’t see their whole life mapped out before me. I can’t know exactly what to do to change their whole path, their entire fate. It is a weight off of my shoulders. 

I helped bring Hvardr, my stallion into this world. His mother orphaned him, so I made sure he was fed. I cared for him, and when he grew, I trained him to trust me and only me. He will buck anyone else off of him. If someone tries to restrain him in any way, he will hurt them- maybe even kill them. But not me. 

Einar was barely a month old when I found him strung up in a trap. I helped him heal- and I tried to keep him wild- I really did. He’s stubborn, though, so when he chose me, there wasn’t a thing I could do to say no. Here we are eight seasons later. 

I never found love, I never had those firsts so many women have. I am not like others. I am different. And because of that difference, I see things in a totally different light. This gift is a blessing and a curse- and sometimes I wish I were normal, or that my younger brother had it, not me, but then I realize that everything I am and everything I have is because of what makes me different. 

I would not be who I am if I were the same as everyone else. 

~

Rita finds me in my room that night, shortly after the feast ended. Her hair is in a loose braid, nothing too complicated while still showing her stature. Cleaned up, I can see that she is actually quite pretty, in a youthful way. No more than fourteen or fifteen summers, if I had to guess. 

Her life flashes before my eyes in quick bursts, defining moments and tragedy lasting a brief second longer than the rest until I see her death- and I know instantly how to treat her. I smile at her, eyeing her new dress. She blushes, grinning at the floor. 

“You look beautiful,” I tell her, speaking in Old French. “Like a princess.”

“Thank you, m’lady.” She ducks her head, showing respect. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“You can extinguish that torch over there, Rita. I’m quite tired from the day’s events. Oh, and I had them bring in an extra bed. I know it’s not much, but… well it’s yours.” 

Her eyes widen as she looks over at the bed. It has two furs on it for the cold night, a few feet away from my own bed. Our beds take up only about half the space in the room Ivar was kind enough to lend to me. 

“Thank you, m’lady!” She says, holding a hand to her chest as she stares at the bed. I know that it is more than she’s probably ever had- first as a frankish peasant and then as a slave, a bed to her is a luxury she’d only dreamed of. I hope she can sleep, knowing for myself the difficulty of sleeping on a bed after more than a few nights on the floor. 

“I’ll see you in the morning,” I tell her, moving to cover myself with a fur. “Good night, and sleep well.” Behind me, I can hear her move to the solitary torch burning against the far wall. Einar, curled against my legs, watches her carefully as she walks to her bed and gets comfortable. He is still wary of her, but is slowly warming up to the idea of another person sleeping close to him. 

tag list:  All Ivar tag: @inforapound​ @amy8220 @sallydelys​ @youbloodymadgenius​ @i-am-a-teenage-dirtbaggg​

Voluspa: @tis-itheapplepie​ @thetwistedqueen @inforapound @wuxiesalt @readsalot73​ @themusingkitten @youbloodymadgenius

[hydrospanners]

A-Z on the writing meme because I need to know absolutely everything immediately.

WELP okay but just remember you asked for what’s about to happen. meme is here. most of this is under a cut cause i’m longwinded as hell.

A. If you could rec a piece of music to accompany one of your fics, what would you pick? Why?

Um I absolutely was vibing to Lips by The xx when I wrote a wish your heart makes and you should too.

B. Who’s your favorite side-character from something you wrote?

I feel like the answer here is supposed to be Doc because he is not The Main Character in the game but also I have written about him and from his POV so much it feels unfair to call him a side character at this point. So instead I’m going to say this random woman named Cherita who was just trying to make a midnight snack for her pregnant wife from a little eggstra. I thought she had a lot of character for someone I pulled out of my ass for the sake of an outside perspective.

C. Get any good comments on your stuff this year?

I am thirsty for praise and I feel every single comment is a good comment but I think the one that sticks out to me is when I wrote a wish your heart makes someone said something like “if you like doc at all you have to read this” and I don’t remember who it was or where they said it but it really stuck with me!!! If that was you, thank you!!!!

D. Any drawings or pictures that had a big influence on your writing?

No!!! I feel guilty about this answer somehow but it’s true. I think it would be a fun challenge to try to write a piece of fic inspired by someone’s art so I may play with that idea next year (Editor’s Note: it was still 2k18 when I wrote the answer for this one) but for 2k18 the answer is no. :(

E.  Who’s your favorite main character you’ve written?

I feel like this answer is obvious but it’s my girl Rea. I’ve reincarnated her as an Inquisitor and a Pathfinder but the OG Jedi Knight is still my fave.

F. What stories are you planning for the future?

I won’t pretend that a lot of planning goes in to my fic. I normally only write short bits so it kind of goes like this: I have a concept, I write the bit I fixate on, and then it sits in my WIPs for five years until I get motivated during some Fictober or something to finally finish it.

I will say I do have serious designs to finally finish the second chapter of the things you do for love are gonna come back to you one by one as that one is a little more complex than stuff I usually write. I have plans to do some kinda flashback-y thing that finally lays out The Velaran Backstory in clear and obvious terms after years of hints and tidbits I’ve been peppering through my fic. I also have a thing planned and kinda partly written about the first instance of horrific violence in the lives of all the Knight’s companions. Also I have a long series of AU vignettes that glimpses into universes where Rea is a Sith or Kira never made it off Korriban or Rusk remained a pacifist or where Rea never joined the Jedi after losing her family the second time. Stuff like that.

G. Where do you think you grew the most this year?

Structure? I’ve been really working on trusting my reader to bridge some gaps and not letting myself get caught up in details that are important for me to know to write the next part but that don’t necessarily need to be in the story. I think I’ve really tightened up my game where trimming the fat and staying focused are concerned.

H.  How do you write? Paper, pen, computer? Music, no music?

My fic writing process is very different from when I am trying to write original stuff and is even kind of different depending on the mood I’m going for? I always write fic in Google Drive cause I write fic from a lot of different machines and need the easy cloud saving.

My ideal condition for fic writing is listening to instrumental music or ambient sounds playing through headphones either in a coffeehouse or the library or when I am at home completely alone. Angst and smut are best written at night with the lights low and warm. Comedy and fluff are best written in the late afternoon/early evening after one single alcoholic beverage (any more than and one I am drunk and no longer capable of writing).

Realistically though, I usually write in whatever time I have. Mostly at work. My job requires me to sit at a desk and wait for things to happen. Since I start work at 5am, things usually aren’t happening. Even with me going out of my way to create new work for myself and excel at what work I do have, I have a lot of downtime. I spend it writing fic. I get interrupted too much to have the focus I need for original writing, but fic writing is much easier so mostly I write my fic at this bland little desk under the terrible fluorescent lights with lots of noise and interruptions, occasionally playing a thematic playlist very quietly in the background.

I.  What’s your favorite work you did this year? Why?

This is a very tough question. Surprisingly, I published a lot of things that I really liked? ([not pictured: me high fiving me for finally allowing myself to state that I like my own writing]) I think I’ll go with when the wicked play if I have to pick just one. Relative to my other work I think it’s very structurally sound and thematically focused and pretty efficient with its characterization and imagery without ever getting too sparse. Also I’m a slut for examining the commonplace nature of violence and brutality in the Star Wars universe.

J.  What are the best jokes you told this year? Any jokes you thought were funny that people didn’t catch? Vice-versa?

I’m gonna say the pun I used as the title for bars and stripes. Honestly the whole fic is a joke and I like it and I don’t care if anyone catches it or not because I know that I am hilarious and no one will ever convince me otherwise.

K. Who have you killed this year? Why did they have to die?

No one, I think? I don’t think I even mentioned any specific off-screen deaths except for shit from the decades old Tragic Backstories. Not even Valkoriate. I’m not an especially murderful writer, maybe because I haven’t had to deal with a lot of that kind of loss in my own life. Mostly I write about things that are somehow adjacent to my own emotional state/journey. That’s why I fixate a lot on the weight of duty and moral philosophy and the nuances and complications of relationships, of how you can hurt someone and be hurt by them and still love them and how messy yet fulfilling the whole thing is. Thankfully--for me--not a lot of grieving the dead in there yet.

L.  Which character did you most write about this year, and why do you like ‘em?

Pretty sure it’s Rea. Maybe Doc because of the Docember thing I squeezed in at the last second but I’m still pretty sure it’s Rea. Pretty sure it always is.

There’s a particular kind of release I get from writing her because her whole sloppy person is a part of me that doesn’t often see the light of day. I won’t say she’s aspirational because I like who I am and I don’t have any special destiny or Force powers or anything to save me when the consequences of living like she does catch up. But there are pieces of her that I admire, pieces that are still part of me that I have a hard time expressing, and spending time with her gives me a little more strength to unlock those dark musty corners of who I am, I guess? Writing Rea makes me a little more bold, a little less apologetic, a little less prone to overthinking and anxious fretting and a little more prone to doing. She makes me feel strong enough to ask for the things I want and confident enough to feel like I deserve them.

Also she is a damn good time, even when she’s falling apart.

M. Meta! Have any meta about a story you’re dying to throw out there?

Of course I do. I could ramble for hours about the story behind any single one of my stories. Aren’t all of us creative types like that??? Don’t we all love to talk about what we were going for and why we made the choices we did??? What we liked and what we think needs improvement??? Why we wanted to make the thing we made in the first place???

I could ramble about this for hours and honestly the possibilities are overwhelming so I am not going to go into any detail and just say yes. Obviously I am willing to ramble about the story behind every single story I’ve published but there’s 63 of them so if there’s something specific you want to hear about you’ll have to ask about the specific one!!!

N. Anything you were planning to write that never got written?

Nothing will ever be “never got written” until I am dead and unable to write. I am still going back to WIPs from 2014. I am rewriting garbage exercises I wrote in 2013. I like to think everything in my WIP folder will eventually be moved to my Published folder and I am going to keep thinking that until I am physically incapable of writing.

O. Do you believe in outlines? Show us one!

I believe in them very much and yet I do not practice them usually. I rely on them more with my original work which is longer and more involved and doesn’t already have a convenient structure to follow in the form of 300000 hours of video game. Most of my fic is really short, just a single scene or so. I usually start out by writing the moment that inspired me to write the fic and fill in the before and after. I do have an outline for the second half of the things you do for love are gonna come back to you one by one but I don’t really want to share it for something that isn’t written yet!

P. What are your pet peeves in other people’s work?

This question makes me kinda uncomfortable so here we go with some disclaimers: I write the stories that I want to read or that I really need to tell to satisfy something inside of me and I assume other authors do the same. I don’t want to say anything here that might have a chilling effect on someone exploring some idea they really need to explore, even if it’s tired or cliche or offends my own tastes. Writing is very personal and I think everyone should tell the stories they want to, whether anyone else likes them or not.

That being said, I am always desperately wishing for more media about close, intimate friendships and familial bonds. As someone who isn’t interested in sexual or romantic relationships, it makes me weep basically every time I read a story about characters who are friends or family that give that kind of relationship all of the value and weight and nuance that you see romantic relationships getting. It is a very special kind of feeling to see that it is possible for people to value what I have to offer them as much they might value someone who will romance them and sleep with them. It is very validating to see the possibility of emotional intimacy with people outside of romantic/sexual partners.

But I would never want anyone to feel bad about or stop writing their romances and their smut. That stuff speaks to people and that’s what fic is about. Telling the story that speaks to you. I want everyone to write what they want to write and if that leaves gaps, well that’s why I started writing fic in the first place. There was a story I needed to read and no one had written it yet, so I did it myself.

TL;DR Genfic & friendfic & familyfic is the greatest gift anyone could ever give me, but no one should write to satisfy other people. Always write for yourself first and foremost.

Q. Quote three bits of writing you read his year. Can be your writing, or not.

I keep little quotes everywhere--index cards and sticky notes scattered among all my belongings, snippets on my phone, untitled documents on every cloud service there is, random word docs hidden amongst my many hard drives--but the only ones I can find right now are from @meonlyred‘s Dark Horse so please enjoy three bits from that fic that I loved:

They remained sitting on the floor, Rossa leaned against him, eyes staring into the distance. Her silence might as well have been weeping.

I just love how I can feel the vacant, numb quality of her despair in this line. How it feels more poignant for its lack of drama.

“You're an idiot and I hate your hair,” Jonas said over the rim of his glass.

I mean.... Do I need to explain this?

He had never believed in happily ever afters. Not for him, at least. But the cruelest thing about being with Rossa was that he had begun to believe that maybe, just maybe, it was possible.

Closing his eyes, Theron didn’t expect to open them again.

This little snippet still punches me in the gut no matter how many times I read it. It’s so relateable and so Theron and so painful.

R. If you had to rewrite one of your stories from scratch, which one would it be? What would you do to it?

I don’t think I’d rewrite any of them? At least half of my fic has been completely rewritten once or twice before it ever gets published so I mostly have it out of my system before anyone else sees it.

S. What’s the sexiest thing you wrote this year?

a wish your heart makes. It may also be the saddest thing I wrote this year which I consider an achievement. (I was asked for smut but I literally do not know how to write just smut without anything else going on in the story.)

T. Themes, motherfucker, do you have them? What are they?

The importance and nature of family (it is what you make it and not what you were born with! but sometimes you get lucky and get to choose the one you were born with!)! The cost/impact of violence and war! Failure and coming back from failure! The nature of what is right and what is wrong and how much responsibility any one individual bears for the moral direction of their society!!!!

I don’t think I’ve ever written anything that didn’t include at least one of these concepts and most of my stuff deals heavily in at least two of them.

U. Any stories that took a abrupt u-turn from where you thought they were going?

Yep! I was trying to make a stupid joke about a haircut when I started making take back what the kingdom stole but in working my way backward from the joke I ended up with a heartfelt exploration of my character’s past emotional trauma, her character growth, and the nature of friendship and forgiveness.

V. Which story was the most viscerally pleasing to write? Tell us your narrative kinks.

I don’t know that I would necessarily call the sensation pleasing but, once again, the things you do for love are gonna come back to you one by one was probably the story that made me feel the most, that I was the most connected to. It hit on every single one of the themes I find compelling and I really got to play with telling the story in the white spaces, which is something I really love. I’ve been working a lot on trusting my readers and not over-explaining and I think this story really saw the impact of that work, stylistically. It’s peak self-indulgence honestly.

W.  Who are your favorite writers?

Does this mean like authors of original published works or fic writers????? How am I supposed to choose???!!!! Either way my reading habits this year have been abominable. I have really been going through some shit, lifewise, (not bad shit but emotionally consuming and time consuming nonetheless) and I had to let the reading go a little bit.

I have been really into NK Jemisin though. Her stories are complex and challenging and there is so much poetry and power in the straightforward way she tells them. I also was obsessed with the Temeraire series by Naomi Novik. The characters were so textured and real with such clear voices and the relationships and ideas were so complex and compelling, yet the story never got weighed down by the heft of the subjects. She has a very light touch as a storyteller that makes her work so easily digestible without making her tale any less impactful or profound.

As for fic…. I’ve got about forty million fics bookmarked, waiting for me to get around to reading them and I am the worst kind of person because I have not yet read any of them. I’m behind on reading one of my very favorite fics right now. I think I’ve read a total of like ten fics this year and straight up probably only read that many because I was doing a bit of beta’ing.

I’m gonna do better in 2019 and I’ll get back to you on all the good shit I’ve read then.

X.  What’s your least favorite work of this year?

crapshoot. It was a really old concept that probably would have been better as visual art than a fic but my artistic talents were too limited so I wrote it instead. It could probably stand a little more meat and a lot more polish, but I don’t have the time to try and turn every goofy image in my head into a fictional masterpiece.

Y. Why did you write? For fun, for a friend, for acclaim?

For fame and fortune obviously. It’s why most of my fic is about a super popular ship in an enormous fandom.

Or, y’know… not. I write for fun and because I have to. Because there are stories inside of me I want to tell, ideas I feel compelled to explore, things I need to say. It doesn’t matter if anyone else hears them or likes them; I need to get them out of me. Also it’s a really great way to work through my own emotional turmoil at a safe distance, so I can engage with what vexes me without being consumed by it.

Z. If you could choose one work and immediately finish it, what would it be? How would you end it?

the things you do for love are gonna come back to you one by one. It’s the most self-indulgent thing I’ve written probably but it means a lot to me and if I knew how it ended I would have finished it months ago. D:

[altonadventures]

ALTON ADVENTURES BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

So...because its Friday and I usually update AA on Fridays, I figured it was time to make my big announcement! 

And that is...that Alton Adventures is changing. A little bit. 

Am I rebooted the comic again? No haha! Once I get back to it it shall continue as normal but some characters may look a bit different going forward. 

Who may those characters be?

Sir Gareth Nemesis 

Why is he changing? 

Sir Nemesis’ change is actually less drastic than one may think. For starters, he needed a design rehaul. I wanted his armor to be more simple, easier to draw but with still details that could tie him to Nemesis (the green eye, the arms, the light pink details instead of inconsistent tentacles). I also had an issue where his hair was too close to his skin color, so to combat this I turned him into a ginger! His eye color also changed from gold to green, another thing to visually tie him more to Nemesis. 

So yes, I changed Sir Nem’s design because I was unhappy with it. His armor was never drawn consistently ever, I was constantly changing the tone of his hair and his skin so that was inconsistent. I want my designs to be more consistent and polished going forward.

What else is different? Well, you can probably tell he looks much more serious, like in older pictures I drew of him. Why is that? Well, I was kind of..honestly tired of his role as the “dad character tm” that he kind of turned out to be. It almost undermined his true characterization and turned him into a typical over the top exaggerated hero character. And I started to realize how much I missed his original concept. A battle hardened solider that was filled with regret and remorse, who heavily sympathizes with the plight of the alien he’s locked in combat with. He’s still much a father however, as he has a biological son and adopts an alien who mimics his likeness (hence another reason he’s a ginger now as his Nemesis daughter always was one). He’s just returned to his roots as a character. Because I felt that characterization was a unique one for the Nemesis ride. And it was an idea I really loved. Sir Nemesis actually WAS one of my favorite characters...I wanted his role to be much larger than it is in the comics. I don’t blame anyone for him becoming a joke, I did initially kind of fuel the fire for it, I’m just hoping that its not to late to get back to the Sir Nemesis I originally wanted to write. And of course, all my characters are still meme and joke worthy. I just want to tackle much more serious issues with my comic and show the more serious side of some of my characters and don’t want there entire existence to be a joke Mr.S can’t have too many folks 1 uping him in the laughs department!  I guess to note with this change that his original voice claim has also been solidified as well. It’s a more somber and serious tone that I feel fits him as a character. 

Final Notes 

Sir Nemesis is a character that I have a lot of thought put into. His backstory is tragic, emotional, and his character is complex and he’s not the perfect hero people might image him as. I plan for his Arc to follow the Fireworks arc in the comic, as well as I am planning to start some more text heavy short stories about how the Secret Weapons became Secret Weapons (which I will likely call Secret Weapon Short Stories hehe) and will be writing his first. Also a very important thing i must address. Yes, the eye on his chest moves. (I have a gif but it doesn’t want to work on this post Ill have it up later ><)

Erica Annabelle Cloud 

ooof okay this is a huge one. Confession time. Erica was always my least favorite character. Why? She just had...no character. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with her, her design felt phoned in and there because I needed an Air/Galatica character, (yes, she is changing as her Galatica stage too). She was just. not well thought out. She had a dual identity but I think a lot of people didn’t pick up on that? She felt like a Rita 2.0 as just a nice and friendly optimistic person and literally had 0 backstory. Originally she was supposed to have had some sort of accident that turned her into Galatica and she had memory loss and forgotten about when she was Air, yeah it was a mess. That eventually just turned into Nebula Corona being a character she made up (bc her one trait was that she was into space and wrote a lot) that she played as when her rides themeing changed. 

She was just..barely a character and her design was abysmal (Her Galatica suit was okay but her Air outfit was an afterthought) She needed a massive visual upgrade. A sleeker flight suit that makes more sense (I used a ref or two for this design!) A different face shape to help her stand out more, my signature they wear glasses they have dot eyes look. Long, wispy, flowing hair to resemble those trails planes make. A bit more lanky and tall. And let me tell you I LOVE her design now. It looks so much more unique and you can just SEE she has so much more character now!  As for her characterization im going full into her being a nerd. A very tech nerd at that! She designed her suit to help her fly at her best, and eventually will be the one that designs and builds all her Galatica tech! Her Galatica design hasn’t been done yet, mostly bc I wanted to focus on her current comic canon design, but not much would change I feel with her upgrade anyways! She is effectively the brains of the group, and the others often turn to her for plans of attack when dealing with a situation, or innovative solutions to problems! I have yet to get a voice claim for her, but im sure one will come to me soon enough! 

Final Notes

Erica/Nebula was a character I struggled to connect with. Everyone else had Airs that were either super plot important, or just much more cool and creative in general. I felt, that with my Air/Galatica she was just there, and I wanted her to be more. So a full character rehaul was done with her and it makes me so happy. She feels much more fleshed out, better designed, and I’m super excited to do more stuff with her, and hopefully you will all see her much more now that I’m a lot happier with her as a character! <3 

Welp that's the end of the updates....wait. Hold on. I have something written here. What could this be? Oh! I remember now! 

Black Hole, AkA Beatrix, will be joining the MAIN CAST of Alton Adventures! 

When I drew my Black Hole design, I knew she was something special. She stands out compared to a lot of my characters, and her design SCREAMS main character. While the biggest main roles will still be held by Mr. S and Rita, I wanted to add another non SW coaster to the main crew, and because Canonically Corkscrew is MIA, Black Hole seemed like a fitting addition to the main crew! As she isn’t human, a species literally only referred to as Black Holes, I thought making her a main character and giving her a big arc would help flesh out the reality of non humans in Alton Adventures! Her powers and design and character and personality are just too fun to shove her into the background. I feel that adding her to the main cast gives them not only another character to support them, but a closer friend! You will all see her much more in the future for certain! 

Well that's about it! In terms of comic updates themselves...its still going to be hiatus as long as I’m being swamped with school work. I hope you all understand. I’ll try to squeeze in updates over the breaks I have IF im not working on assignments for class. As I also said, I wanna do short stories as well, to expand the world and explain it better, as a comic will only develop the world so quickly and lots of you have tons of questions! I also wanna do something animated at some point, that’s my dream. I’ve ALSO mentioned to some people about merch, likely going for making stickers first since that's simple. I got an excited reaction for that so I’ll come up with designs for them soon! I just wanna do a lot with Alton Adventures, because I know how much it means to people, and of course it means so much. Goodness I really need to actually get to this park, I look quiet silly constantly gushing over a themepark I’ve never been to all the time XP  That all aside I thank you all for sticking by me. I promise that even if I don’t do comic updates as frequently during the school year, I’ll still work to push out as much AA content I can outside of that! I’m always open to suggestions to what you guys want to see! ALSO, working on a big google doc spreadsheet with info on all the characters I’ll be posting when its more completed! So be on the lookout for that! 

Again thank you to everyone who’s stuck with me through this, Your support makes me feel nothing but proud of what I’ve created. These characters may have been created out of something some may consider silly or odd, but the only thing that matters to me if that I can make at least someone happy with what I create. 

Patreon (note that patrons got to see all of this content as it was being worked on!) l Ko-fi

[missnoirr]

11, 14, 17, 18, 20, 23

11- What do you envy in other writers?

The ability to write several scenes in a chapter without going off on tangents. I write way too much with too much detail and its an issue. Some writers can portray so much emotion in so little space and its simply not a talent I have. 

Also, everyone that doesn’t have dyslexia is a god to me, and I envy that greatly.

14 - At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

It varies, sometimes its the first thing I have, sometimes I’m scrounging up at the last minute, but as a general rule I usually have a concept and a few scenes - enough to establish the vibe - and then I’ll put a title to it. I’ll usually have a working title which doesn’t make the cut (ie. pas de deux was originally called “the dance of the sugar plum fairy” and soon or never was, for a while, “maybe, again” when the backstory was more important) 

17 - Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

Yes. Even I perceive my work differently to me, because what it is in my head is very different to what it is when I go back and read it after I’ve had a lot of breathing room from it. Because I write so much - a lot of which ends up on the cutting room floor - I often don’t even remember what has been published into the actual story, so things people might think are probably more accurate than my memory of them. Though sometimes I get comments that make me go. that is incorrect. 

I also think people would be surprised how much exists around the stories and how much work and time I spend on things that are never seen. I have a lot of google docs and editing and story notes that will never see the light of day. I made a whole map for LA in MMIYB and for New York in pdd. I did a full painting for pdd the other day and create a lot of playlists. 

Another thing is that what I’m trying to say is often very deliberate within or without the framework of the story. 

18 - Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

Yes! Many of them! 

A few of my favourites are: 

At the end of MMIYB, Christen and Tobin do NOT end up together. Tobin returns to Portland and Christen stays in LA, though a lot of the life changes outside of Tobin she makes still happen. The last scene indicates that Christen may go to Tobin’s last game in Portland, and therefore that they may still have a future together- but you don’t ever get to see them together. Figured people would kill me for that lmao 

An AU of pas de deux has Tobin go to the Paris Opera Ballet as a guest artist instead of Christen coming back to ABT, their history is still the same and so tension erupts

Another AU of pdd is that Christen is still at ABT when Tobin suffers the injury leading up to the beginning of the pdd that exists on ao3. She’s only a soloist and their history is not the same, but Tobin still has to tutor her. Its all around a much less weighty use of the ‘enemies’ part of enemies to lovers. 

There’s many scenes missing from the final version of soon or never which I’ll probably eventually posts as drabbles including - blow out argument over Christen keeping secrets, reveal of whats in the angry notes jar, Christen looking through her text messages with Tobin pre accident, Christen returning to the school she teaches at, more exploration of the state of their only alluded to economic issues. 

20 - Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Thank you thank you thank you for asking this!!!! 

Something I hid in Soon or Never that made me feel very smart is that the way Christen regains her memories is foreshadowed in chapter three when they first return to their house. Tobin is mentioned as having a keychain with ‘John 14:26’ engraved into it. In the new international translation of the bible, this passage says: “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.”

Christen’s memory is regained by remembering phrases and conversations that she had with Tobin - and the glimpses of memory she has in the last chapter, where she has an impression of someone speaking and, as the extremely unreliable narrator that she is, attributes the words to herself, are all moments when Tobin is the actual speaker. 

Other little things I’ve done that I’m proud of: 

Christen’s lipstick shade in This Christmas Is Ours Alone is called “one step ahead,” because Christen is one step ahead of Tobin in planning her proposal, and ultimately one step ahead in executing it

In Tobin and Christen’s heart to heart on her couch in MMIYB’s - which changes the course of their relationship entirely - Christen is eating the ben and jerrys ice cream named ‘unfudge our future’, because, you know, they’re unfuding their future 

Christen wears the shirt Tobin bought her to their dinner at the beginning of MMIYB, and Tobin is very aware of this, even if Christen isn’t 

In Soon or Never Christen describes the sheets as being “sort of coconut smelling. A tinge of spice.” and sleeps on the side of the bed that has the strongest smell of spice, because its comforting to her and so she assumes its her side. She later describes Tobin as smelling “like coconut sunscreen, her breath warm and spicy.” ie. Christen slept on Tobin’s side of the bed. 

There are a lot of clues for futures scenes in pas de deux, but since those scenes aren’t published yet I can’t talk about them much, but the openly passage in particular - and its last line - are something to hold in your memory. Christen’s cat Nurse is also named after a significant literary figure for a reason.  

23 - What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

If you go off last edited dates in my google drive, its called “decadence is a four letter word,” which I started in early September, which is the art curator/heiress/artist AU i’ve mentioned in passing before. Its actually being corralled into two different stories. The original concept of it is going to be put into an scify esque parallel universe story thats currently plotted out to be around 200k words that is on the list for after pas de deux, and the version of it that was inspired by an anons prompt a few months ago for a guerrilla girls/art curtator fic is becoming its own thing. 

Writing Questions!

[pumpkin-toast]

Some OC Questions

This is gonna be long so I finally figured out how to properly use tumblr formatting to add a read more section

1. Your first OC ever?

My best guess is a little fellow called Scribbles

2. Do you have a personal favorite among your OCs?

Three actually - Gretchen, Flooken, and Quasar. All small and precious, all very overpowered.

3. Have you ever adopted a character?

Yes actually, several times. A Cuphead OC named Jess and a few fantrolls.

4. A character you rarely talk about?

I rarely talk about half of my characters because I have so many but I feel like talking about Blinkey. He’s an aquaphobic Enderman who wears a little grassblock themed raincoat in case it rains

5. If you could only make one of your OCs popular, who would it be?

I think it would have to be Pindle. I feel like she could make it big.

6. Two of your OCs that look alike despite not being related?

Icicle and Noelle, although I heavily based Noelle’s appearance off Icicle. And then there’s Spindler, Spindle, and Pindle, who all have basically the exact same name.

7. Are your OCs part of any story of stories?

I have a looot of stories. Too many, actually, which is why most of them are on the backburner and I’m trying to focus on just one of them for now. Here, take some concept art for it:

8. Do you RP as any of your OCs?

Yes, I have RP blogs which interact with a small circle of other RP blogs. Specifically I RP as Flooken, Kamyx, and Remund.

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

Only if I didn’t have a personal connection to them, which I do for a crap ton of my characters. I’ve only given away one character and that was because I didn’t have that connection. Somebody like, say, Flooken? I would never consider giving him up.

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

I don’t really have any tbh. The whole point of my style is to be simplistic.

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

Yes, Purity! She’s innocent, a bit naive, and a total extrovert.

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

A female serial killer character made by my friend.

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

The Suits. All five of them. Oh, and also Note, and Hanret.

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

There’s too many to choose from

15. Do you like to talking about your OCs with other people?

Yes

16. Which one of your OCs would be best at biology?

Sophie, because she kind of is a biologist.

17. Any OC OTPs?

Graalu x Qiospe, Hana x Seven, Ragdoll x Dollface, Drobyme x Remund, Kayla x Camilla

18. Any OC crackships?

Spindler x Duplin, Entity x Spindle

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you

So hey, this is Gretchen. I really like her.

20. Do any of your OCs sing?

Lots of them sing. The first one that comes to mind is Kamyx, she usually only sings when she’s alone and my voice of choice for her would be Bryana Salaz.

21. Your most artistic OC

The only one that I can think of right now is Drobyme.

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize?

I can’t really think of any, so I guess no

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would look like?

Almost all of my fantrolls. Because I recently redesigned them into humans for a non-homestuck related story

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

Flooken, so I could hug him and tell him everything’s going to be alright and buy him 2001 chicken nuggets

25. The OC that resembles you the most

Coffee or Cupcake, because Coffee was based off all the craps I don’t give and Cupcake is my optimism.

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?

Yes, this is a funny story actually. So I had been adopting several fantrolls off a person on Amino because I needed fantrolls for a fansession and I was going creatively bankrupt at the time. But it turns out there had been a mixup and one of the trolls I adopted was actually adopted by someone else first, so I had to give her up. And then I just adopted another troll and gave her the same name.

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

I’ve had backstories that I’ve fleshed out a bit more using songs, but I don’t think I have any characters that were inspired by a specific song.

28. Your most dangerous OC?

It’s a tie between Kamyx and Reaper

29. Which one of your OCs would investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

There’s no doubt in my mind it would 100% be Gabby.

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?

Quinn, Pindle, Ivisd, or Cressida.

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain their Tumblr blog layout.

Okay, let’s go with Baxter.

He’s got the default blog layout, burgundy background with black text. His icon is a purple eye and his header image is just a black fill. He posts about the weird crap he and his friends get up to, reblogs a lot of witchcraft, lots of divination and tarot cards. And also demons, he’s into demons. And then he has a more innocent side blog where he posts about baking.

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?

Seven, because he’s a big scaredy cat but would probably be able to go through a horror game scenario if he had the proper motivation.

33. Your shyest OC.

Ivisd

34. Do you have any twin characters?

Totally. Kefi and Lypi, Noiche and Blanr, Blue and Pink, Quinn and Harriet. I even have a set of quintuplets.

35. Any sibling characters?

Yes, but if I listed them all we’d be here all week and this post is already too long.

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else?

Yes

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

Most of my OCs aren’t human actually but uh I’ll go with Seven

He’s the one on the left. No one really knows what he is but he looks human, although his eyes are a bit weird (he’s also blind). He’s pathokinetic, always wears a yellow raincoat, and his LI is a tsundere. He’s not exactly shy but he’s a scaredy cat and always very very fretful

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?

I’ve thought long and hard about this. And it has to be Lyric.

39. Introduce any character you want.

*ahem* I’m gonna do two

Aight so this is Entity (left) and Censor (right) and they’re my protagonist duo in my story. Censor is overly pessimistic and Entity is overly optimistic and they’re pretty much stuck with each other. They’re also both fugitives.

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters?

I remember playing Splatoon as some of my OCs and having lots of fun being terrible with their weapons.

41. Has anyone ever drawn fanart of yours OCs?

Yes

Qerri, Murck, Flooken, Flooken again, and Lyric

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?

Lorelei, because she’s a god herself.

43. Do you have any certain types when you create OCs?

I tend to lean more towards making badass girls and fretful boys. I don’t know why it just happens more often than not. But I’ve been trying to push past it as of late.

44. Something you like about your OCs in general.

I just love them all. I view them all as my children and I love them.

45. A character you no longer use?

There are a few from stories I’ve scrapped and abandoned, but I still keep them around in case I need another cast member for another story. They’re just like understudies!

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

Yes and I do. I may love them but it’s tough love.

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

Yes

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

My baby boy Flooken, the best boy of them all

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes?

Entity, that little shit

50. Freebie!

Oh a freebie?

So I’ve got this google doc. I talk about it sometimes but I’ve never actually showed it to anyone outside of a very small group of individuals, but it does exist. I call it Ramager’s OC-Palooza of Epic Proportions and Broken Dreams. It lists every single one of my countless characters, all organized into sections based on what story or universe each character belongs to. In fact it was lagging so much that I had to make a second doc (Titled ‘(P2) Ramager’s OC-Palooza of Epic Proportion and Broken Dreams’). Collectively the two docs have a total of 207 pages. These docs are where I store every bit of information about my characters, including pictures, themes, voice claims, and more. I have been working on it since October of 2019. I’m still adding to it everyday. It terrifies me greatly.

[forbidden-creepypasta]

Wampus Collection: The Doctor’s Orders

Here's a story from /x/ credited to some chick named Wampus. Nothing in this thread has been edited in anyway. This is good shit. Shit that can shrivel Josef K's manhood. - Tower ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Since it seems /x/ related, I’d like to tell you some stories about my family. I’ve never really thought to write this down, but people seemed to enjoy my last thread so I thought I’d share more. Plus, /x/ is a little out of sorts tonight, and I’d like to help if I can. Hopefully there are people around still interested in hearing. In my last threads I talked about my mother’s side of the family, and their curious beliefs and practices down in the Deep South. I told those stories, not because they were especially paranormal but because I’m most comfortable with them. My childhood was filled with them. I grew up down here, and although it’s a strange place, these are eccentricities I understand. Unfortunately, while the stories about Often and my mother are cute and occasionally spooky, they don’t really compare to the /x/-factor that leaks down from my father’s line. If it's okay with you guys, I'm going to repost the backstory before I begin since I don't think the thread is in the archive yet. I can also post the first story if that would help too, but there's no plot or anything, so it's not important to the grand scheme of things. To say that these stories have been difficult to come by might be sugarcoating it. Up until a few years ago, I had always assumed that my grandmother’s family was filled with a bunch of alcoholics or petty criminals. Something vaguely tragic but hardly interesting enough to warrant juicy gossip. Asking after them would usually make my already cold grandmother clam up and either deliver a smack to the wrist or tell you to go play in the yard (read: in traffic). Recently though, she’s started to open up about her strange past. I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe she realized that after all these years of running from it, that world has finally died off. Maybe she’s actually begun to look back at her life and miss what she had. I don’t really know, and I guess it’s not that important. What is important for you, /x/, is that my grandmother ran away from the circus. And not just any circus. She ran away from a travelling medical show. As always, I make no claims toward the truth behind these stories. Most of these are cobbled together from my great grandfather Max’s journal and the notes of his brother Arthur. Max may or may not have been somewhat of a drunk, and Arthur really only wrote about things his good nature and soft heart would never allow him to speak out loud. My grandmother gave my brother and me these journals a few summers ago, and I was hoping to get some scanned pages for you, but if I keep waiting for my brother to do that, you may never get to hear these stories. What I do know for certain is that these people did exist. I’ve changed around some of the names and locations to protect those involved because it’s surprisingly easy to Google them. So whether or not you choose to believe Max’s stories, know that he is real, as is the show and the performers mentioned. The only thing I’m adding are some adjectives, transitions, and the supporting details my researching drummed up. The stories included are only a few from the years and years they spent on the road. These are the ones I find most /x/-related and in some cases most disturbing. I’ll start before my grandmother was born. If you like these stories, I’ll continue. If not, that’s fine too. While I’m no expert on anything relating to circuses or performances therein, here is what I know. Max and Arthur were brothers. Max was a bear of a man who spent his youth winning boxing championships and had hands so fast his favorite game was to dodge the hammers of men driving tent stakes into the ground. Arthur was more sensitive, a gifted musician and talented gymnast. Both were absolute gentlemen and both loved to put on a show. The brothers somehow fell in with a man who went by the name of Doctor DuMonde (like the café in New Orleans). The Doc, as they called him, was likely not a real doctor, but he prided himself in his travelling show of medical wonders. The show featured acupuncture, herbal remedies, medical oddities, and the usual circus acts to catch the less scientifically minded. Arthur and Max performed as magicians, acrobats, clowns, assistants, barkers, and anything else the doc needed, while other performers included an amazing trick rider, a man who performed with bears and dogs, a sword swallower/fire breather, and a psychic. Over their years together, DuMonde came to appreciate the fact that Max and Arthur’s many talents made them valuable allies, while the brothers came to appreciate the fact that the Doc was a couple rings short of a circus. Doc was forever hunting down medical oddities, if not to recruit them then to at least examine them. While he may not have held a medical degree, by the end of his life, no one could claim they knew more about the abject horrors the human body could produce. So when Max answered a knock on his wagon one early August morning, his stomach had good reason to lurch with unease. “Max, my boy,” Doc greeted. “We have an errand to run.” If you need a title, you can call this one “The Doctor’s Orders” or “What became of that unfortunate soul.” Unlike the larger circuses that dominated the railroads, the little medical show still puttered along in the old ornate wagons and trailers. This made travel much harder but allowed for the doctor to make his own curious, meandering paths. Max often wondered how his life had been hitched to every whim of this strange little man, but as Arthur reminded him, if he really cared that much they could have just quit. This particular detour had led them to a small town in eastern Iowa. A brutal drought left the fields near scorched, and summer heat made the small crowds sluggish and irritable. The morning sun had only just begun to crawl up above the treetops and already Max felt his shirt clinging to him. The Doc wore his standard three piece suit and kept time with a polished cane. The old man rarely ever showed the wear and tear of the roads. Probably because his trailer had an icebox. As they made their way on foot, DuMonde informed Max that this was a house call. He was responding to a letter mailed by a desperate family seeking help for their unfortunate child. And why had he brought the former boxing champ along? Simple a precaution, rest assured. The young man had his doubts, but the farm house they were aiming for was no more run down than any other lonesome homestead in the middle of nowhere. As they approached, a solitary donkey sounded the alarm, and his braying brought the owner of the house out the door. He was a short, stout man with a weathered face and an unnaturally tired look. Max thought he saw others peering through the windows at them, but after very brief introductions, they were lead away from the house and over to a storm cellar. “Heard about you coming to Des Moines last season,” the man explained. “Thought you might be able to do something about this.” He threw back the cellar doors and led them down into the darkness. It was difficult to see much of anything with nothing but the morning light shining in to guide them. The stench down below was unreal. The unmistakable odor of rotting meat and feces reminded him of neglected monkey he had once seen locked in a barren cage. The only thing that kept him from gagging was the fear that the smell would get into his mouth, and even the decorous doctor covered his nose with a handkerchief. Once Max’s eyes adjusted to the lack of light, he realized there was a pile of badly stained blankets near the wall to their left amidst piles of dung and fly-ridden scraps he couldn’t identify. The farmer took a rake that had been resting near the stairs and poked at the lump. The thing that shot out from beneath the blankets was such a confusing flurry of limbs that even Max had a hard time understanding what he was seeing. It was human, though really only by technicality. The boy crawled about on four twisted limbs, but a fourth and fifth leg jutted out from his midsection and right thigh respectively. Though shriveled, these forgotten appendages twitched and flexed as he scurried about. His mouth was torn by a severe cleft palette, though that didn’t stop him from hissing and snapping with teeth grown long and somehow sharp like rodent incisors. He was naked but covered in sores, growths, mud, shit, and rust colored stains Max didn’t want to think about. One eye bulged out slightly, causing it to look off in a different direction, though the odd shape to the iris raised doubts over its ability to see anyway. The boy darted wildly to the end of the rope that had been tied around his neck and presumably anchored somewhere out of sight. He nearly choked himself trying to reach for the three men, and when that didn’t work, he resorted to spitting and finally pissing at them. “Don’t have a right mind,” the farmer said as he stepped away from the spray. “It’s our second boy, but you can see why we keep it down here. Eats just about anything and doesn’t do much but raise hell. Killing it would be a sin against the Lord though.” Max had to hold his tongue to keep from asking what that made keeping the boy alive down there. “Very unfortunate,” DuMonde agreed. He kept his face covered with the handkerchief, but leaned in as close as he could without getting hit. For a terrifying moment, Max thought the Doc might actually take the boy. While he understood wanting to put it out of its misery, accepting the thing instead meant trying to integrate it into the show. And that meant Max would have to deal with it. “I am sorry,” DuMonde said finally. “While this is a very sad case, I’m afraid I have no room for such a child in my show.” “What?” the farmer asked. His look of detached exhaustion gave way to a visible wave of grief and then rage. “You said you handled this kind of thing! You take these monsters off those folks’ hands! Now take this away!” The man’s rising tone made his son launch into a frenzy of yowling and jumping. Max was more focused on the rake the farmer was brandishing, however. He stepped between the farmer and the doctor and took in a deep inhale. He instantly regretted doing so, but at least it puffed out his chest and straightened his spine. The farmer was no weakling by the looks of him, but Max was well over six feet and nothing but muscle. He stared the man dead in the eyes. “Now, the doctor said there was nothing we can do. We’re real sorry about your son, but that’s all there is to it. If you don’t mind, we’ll be going now.” Max let his words hang in the foul air between them for a moment before waving his hand for the man to lead them out. The farmer looked as though he might argue but swallowed whatever bile he had brewing and said not a word to them as they took their leave. The only response a farewell from the Doc got was a spit straight into the dust. The pair got the message and wasted no time getting back on the road and putting the house far behind them. “Such a shame,” DuMonde murmured as the safety of their tents slowly came into view. “Such a poor, poor child.” “I’m glad you didn’t take it though,” Max admitted. “I would have made you carry that thing back.” If the story ended here, I’m sure that everyone would have had a good laugh, learned a little something, and the credits could roll safely. Obviously, that’s not the case. This wasn’t nearly the last time Max and DuMonde had to deal with the Unfortunate. Their troubles were only beginning. The next night, Arthur was called to the ticket booth by one of the few roadies that travelled with them. Max was tied up helping with the bears, and DuMonde had no interest in dealing with the ordinary nuisances of running the show. He approached the depressingly short line and was directed to a wooden box sitting off to one side. “A wagon rolled up and dumped it off here,” the roadie explained. “They ran off before we could stop them. Thing split open and some kind of animal jumped out, but crawled off into the bushes faster than we could catch it.” “What kind of animal?” Arthur asked, but the roadie only shrugged. “Didn’t get a good look. It didn’t look like a dog though. Too big to be a cat. One lady said it might have been a person, but who knows.” “Box’s firewood then, I guess,” Arthur replied. Secretly he hoped it was a monkey. Arthur loved monkeys and never did understand why their show had horses, mules, bears, birds, and dogs but not a single monkey, especially now that Ringling had Gargantua the Gorilla. Later in the evening once everything had closed down for the night, he mentioned this to Max. Max went pale and stared at his brother as if the young man had grown a third eye. “Was it a person? Did they see? Was there a man in that wagon?” “I’m sure there was a man in the wagon,” Arthur answered. “Someone had to drive it.” Max was in no mood to argue with his brother. Instead he rushed off to DuMonde’s trailer, and Arthur followed close at his heels demanding to know what was going on. When Max gave a hurried explanation, Art shut up and helped pound on the Doc’s door. Dumonde listened to their concerns with his usual stone-faced quiet. When they finished, the older man smoothed out his heavily waxed moustache and nodded. “Gather the dogs. Tell the young ladies to remain in their wagons. Search the area for it, but if you find nothing, then I suppose we have nothing to worry about. “ Max roused Carl, the dog and bear trainer. Carl was a short man who loved alcohol and had been occasionally accused of letting his beloved bears drink with him. His dogs came in all shapes in sizes, and though he insisted during the act they were all purebreds, he had once admitted to Arthur they were nothing more than strays he couldn’t possibly turn away. They gathered up the four largest mutts and a couple of guns, and met up with the other roadies Arthur had called out. The only woman among them was Ellen the token bearded lady who was probably at least as strong as half the men there and refused to be left out of the fun. “We’re looking for…something,” Max tried to explain. “You’ll know it when you see it. Just be careful.” “That narrows it down,” Arthur muttered helpfully. They took up lanterns and fanned out through the brush surrounding the campgrounds. They’d taken up temporary residence in a lightly wooded area on the outskirts of the small town. Much to Max’s dismay there were plenty of places for an evil little monster to hide, and every rushing bush or snapping twig made him jump a good foot in the air. He wasn’t entirely sure what the boy could actually do to them, but the pit that was weighing down his stomach told him nothing good could come from this situation. Unfortunately, he didn’t have to wait long to find out. Two men’s screams shattered the nighttime stillness, and Max and Carl went racing towards whoever was yelling. One voice rose above the other in obvious agony, and the pair tore through the bushes fueled by instinctive panic. They arrived close behind another search group, but that didn’t stop Max from nearly getting clubbed by a hammer. “He broke my hand!” a roadie leaning against a tree wailed. “My hand!” “There was a monster on you!” the one with the hammer insisted. Max took the weapon away from him anyway. The man’s eyes were wide with shock and terror. “And then you broke my hand!” the injured man yowled. The man had more than a broken had to worry about. According to the pair, a monster had rushed out of the bushes and attacked the man, clawing like a monster and ripping a good chunk out of his arm. In an effort to save his friend, the roadie had swing blindly but was too slow to connect with the creature and instead had shattered the poor victim’s hand. “You think that thing had rabies or something?” the roadie asked Max as they dragged him back to the camp. “You think I’m gonna get sick?” Max thought back to the conditions the boy had been held in and didn’t have the heart to tell the man about it. He ordered everyone else back to the camp. Searching the brush in the dead of night was just going to get more people hurt or worse. Instead they opted to lock doors, sleep with guns, and get the hell out of this place as soon as dawn hit. With all the yelling and nervous energy in the air, every animal in the show was riled up beyond hope and the humans weren’t all that much better. Max and Arthur found themselves sitting up in their trailers, playing cards and casting nervous glances out the window. “Why would they dump that thing on us?” Arthur asked. “Because they’re cowards,” Max replied. “They’re probably hoping we’ll kill it for them, and then we can go to hell instead.” “Is it really that bad?” his brother asked. “You can let me know if you get a good look at it,” was all Max would say. Some time after midnight they had both managed to dose off. Max was fading in and out of restless dreams, and the incessant barking of Carl’s dogs kept jarring him back to the waking world. He had almost gone under for the last time when a sudden sharp yelp of pain and vicious growling made him leap out of his bed and grab his gun. Both he and Art flew out of their trailer, but though they were the closest and first to respond, they were already too late. In the moonlight the Unfortunate was even more hideous than in the dark of the cellar. Its twisted spine heaved and pressed unnatural ridges against its skin, and the greasy, patchy hair on its head hung in oily ropes down to its shoulders. What skin wasn’t covered in blood and filth was a sickly white-gray, and its vestigial limbs were flicking wildly at the air. The monster had gotten one of the small dog’s cages open, and it was in the process of ripping the poor animal to shreds. When the boy jerked his head up to look at the brothers, the dog’s neck tore with a wet, meaty rip. The animal continue to try to yelp, but the only sound it could make were gurgling, trembling gasps as it shook and bled out. Max was too stunned to quickly read his gun, but another figure was on the scene. Carl took one look at what the boy had done to his beloved dog, and the little man’s face actually grew red with wild fury. While the Unfortunate was distracted by the brothers, Carl took the opportunity to jump onto its back. The thing thrashed and howled, trying to buck the man off or at least get in a good gouging bite, but this was a trainer who routinely wrestled bears, both friendly and not. Carl bellowed out obscenities and slammed the boy’s misshapen skull into the remains of the cage, and when those gave way from the pummeling, he pounded the monster into the earth instead. There was finally a sickening crack as the Unfortunate’s skull split from the force. When Max and Arthur finally dragged Carl off the boy, only his frail, shrunken limbs still flexed reflexively at the night air. By this time the whole camp was awake and watching the commotion. Doctor DuMonde made his way through the small crowd too look upon the remains of the fight. There was still a strip of the small dog’s neck between the boy’s rodent-like teeth, and Carl was now covered in blood and whatever else had been on the child. He was panting and staring at the body of his pet, making no effort to fight the brothers as they pulled him away. Pools of human and animal blood soaked into the dry ground beneath them. “What a shame,” DuMonde said, shaking his head. “I’m so sorry, Carl. Max, when you get a moment, carry the body to my office if you please.” The Doctor’s office was a wagon where he held many of his exhibits. At least the ones that weren’t living. The walls were lined with shelves filled with glass jars and odd creatures pinned to the walls like grotesque butterflies. There were some workers who refused to set foot in the place, but after so many years the brothers had grown accustomed to the good doctor’s collection. Max had to wrap the corpse in a blanket to avoid touching the filth, and ignoring the smell and the unpleasant stiffening setting in by the time he gathered the courage to pick the monster up was no easy task. The Doctor, however, could not have been more pleased. Not two days later, the stuffed and posed corpse had a place of honor on the wall behind his desk.

[topicprinter]

Hey - Pat from StarterStory.com here with another interview.Today's interview is with Ashley ‘JP’ Lockwood of Deskmate, a brand that sells affordable standing desks.Some stats:Product: Affordable standing desks.Revenue/mo: $10,000Started: January 2017Location: LondonFounders: 2Employees: 2Hello! Who are you and what business did you start?My name is Ashley ‘JP’ Lockwood. I am the co-founder of Deskmate. We are a standing desk startup on a mission to make the world work better.I met my now business partner, Arthur at the back end of 2016 during an incubator called Escape The City. Both working on separate projects and set up Deskmate as a side hustle to earn some extra money whilst we were living and working in London.We have two products, Deskmate, for large setups, desktops, keyboards, and Minimate, which is specifically for laptop only users. All of our products are environmentally friendly (cardboard) and take less than 10 seconds to pop up.We are proudly the cheapest standing desk available, globally. Which is pretty cool I think? We’ve sold over 5,000 units since launch, to just under 100 countries.Cool fact: Deskmate started on £300 and we launched in 3 weeks.imageOur first homepageWhat's your backstory and how did you come up with the idea?We were working from a coworking space and wanted standing desks. We asked the community managers if they’d considered them. Answers ranged from, ‘too expensive’, ‘space doesn’t allow them’, ‘why do you need one?’, I guess that was the lightbulb moment.The idea behind Deskmate was quite simple really, there was no affordable standing solution in the UK. We did the typical google search, amazon check and there was nothing there. We saw the gap and went for it.With regards to the standing desk and office furniture market, we had no idea. I’d recommend anyone launching a business in an area they don’t understand to research but not to overthink it. Learn on the job.I was personally from an e-commerce background, having launched an online shirt retailer at University. I then went into Fintech and left as Sales Director of a venture-backed startup. I’ve been working for myself for about a year and a half.Take us through the process of designing, prototyping, and manufacturing your first product.I had a family member working in cardboard production and we had a rough design. We sent it over and within a week we had a prototype.We launched without a website with a pop up at WeWork and sold 5 desks in the first 30 minutes.I had a friend, Tara, who was working as community manager who said we were too early stage to pop up. I left it with her but said if anyone cancels, we'd be happy to fill in. The next week a coconut water brand cancelled, we got the gig!That was idea validation, market testing and customer feedback all in one hit. We had no real business plan, cash in the bank or strategy, but we knew if could sell in WeWork, there was a market, at least in the start up space.We bought 250 white units and realised we didn’t get a logo printed. Here’s a photo of Arthur sticking the Deskmate logo manually to our first ever batch:imageimageDeskmate first pop up at WeWork - no website, stickers purchased on the internet and stuck on product 10 minutes before we startedDescribe the process of launching the business.We built version 1 of deskmate.co in 14 days on Shopify and launched a week later.Sales were slow to start and we didn’t have that much content to start advertising online, we took our own cameras wherever we went and shot the product. Not everything we shot was useable, but it built up over time.This was with no coding background and on a shoestring budget. As the units began to sell (slowly) we realised we needed some capital and formulated a business plan.We approached Virgin for a startup loan and raised an initial 12k. This is the only debt the business has taken on to date.Biggest lessons I’d give anyone is to only outsource if it’s absolutely necessary. We’ve used agencies, PR people and Sales execs before but until you absolutely know your product, you are the only one who should be selling and marketing it, especially if you are selling in a niche, like ours.Personally, I’d also recommend anyone moving from ‘side hustle’ to ‘full time start up’ to have a real plan and make careful considerations on the position of your team and co founders.We’ve had a few people come and go since launch, with me and Arthur consistent throughout. Startups are tricky, you have to be 100% committed and you need a thick skin.imageSince launch, what has worked to attract and retain customers?Deskmate is a really interesting product in that it has multiple customer channels and routes to market.We break our sales channels into three main sections;1 - B2C (direct to eccom)Driving customers directly to deskmate.co. Main traffic drivers are paid ads, PR, social media (IG, FB, Twitter) and blog posts.Google ads are challenging (CPC is high due to competitors price point being 10x higher), so we’ve worked hard on FB adverts, building content to help the top stage of the funnel understand who we are, what we do and how we can benefit.2 - B2B (business to business)Our direct to business sales mainly consists of outreach out to businesses directly that look to sell multiple units, directly to businesses.Main drivers for this are email marketing, LinkedIn, strategic sales calls and hustle! We use G sheets to track our leads and conversion rates.3 - Wholesale (retailers, partnership channels, amazon)These are third parties that either resell Deskmate or are able to promote the product to their network. Deskmate is available on Amazon, Wayfair (hopefully US) soon and we regularly offer the product on third party relevant websites.I have also had meetings with a host of other wholesalers who have said no: ASOS, Urban Outfitters, Argos, the list is extensive!Segmenting like this allows you to have a clear understanding of what's working and what's not.We also use different marketing techniques for each market, e.g. B2B is directed far more in relationship management, email marketing and targeted sales calls. B2C is more digital marketing, paid ad spend and content marketing.Within our marketing efforts we use digital advertising (IG, FB, etc), PR (via a programme called response source), SEO (blogs), and partnerships (Virgin, WeWork, Three), to attract customers.Via basic outreach, I have secured PR with Forbes, and other major newspapers in the UK. Be consistent with your outreach, create a positive message and be clear on what you are offering.We’ve partnered with the likes of Three, Virgin and WeWork to sell to their customer bases. We started our relationship with Virgin through start up funding. We used their network internally, asked for introductions and eventually find our way into Virgin Red, who are Virgin’s customer loyalty app. This was a slog and took around 3 months!Why? It’s great distribution and usually free marketing if you can get in there. My advice for any start up would be to think about their sales channels and how to sell to them before you start!How are you doing today and what does the future look like?Gross margin is around 65%, monthly traffic to the site is around 10k and our customer database (B2B + B2C) is 14k. Our sales funnel is long and takes time to educate people on the product. The business is tricky today and it will be tricky tomorrow, but our aim for 2020 is to break 1m units sold.Our Operations are lean, we manufacture, pack and ship from the same factory in the UK, meaning less time from production to customer and also means we can stay nimble on stock, test product ideas quickly and provide a great service to the end customer.Through starting the business, have you learned anything particularly helpful or advantageous?In hindsight, I would have started selling other products earlier, hired interns to help with admin and onboarded international shipping from the start.Deskmate has done well with our partnerships, considering we are a niche product in an emerging category. I think signing contracts with Three and Virgin are the two that stay front of mind.Our PR has always been strong, and I’d recommend any business with a unique idea or service to start reaching out to journalists right away. They don’t bite!What platform/tools do you use for your business?Slack - communicationWhatsapp - quick answersGmail - emailKlaviyo - emailsShopify - e-platformResponse source - PRGoogle Docs - to do lists every weekGoogle sheets - a great way to process orders with fulfilment centre if you can’t afford to right awayHave also used:Trello - better for larger teamsMonday.com - same as above, good programme thoughWhat have been the most influential books, podcasts, or other resources?The Subtle Art of Not Giving A FuckShoe DogStart With WhyAdvice for other entrepreneurs who want to get started or are just starting out?Don’t overthink your MVP, keep your business as lean as possible until you have validated your idea, don’t overspend on outsourcing, you can figure most things out yourself and call in as many favours as you can.Are you looking to hire for certain positions right nowWe are currently hiring a sales intern and a marketing intern. Drop us a note if you want to apply! hello@deskmate.co.Where can we go to learn more?www.deskmate.cohttps://www.facebook.com/wearedeskmate/https://www.instagram.com/wearedeskmate/?hl=enLastly, we are currently looking for a partner to expand our US presence. Previous background in e-commerce, furniture, and early-stage products preferable.imageIf you have any questions or comments, drop a comment below!Liked this text interview? Check out the full interview with photos, tools, books, and other data.For more interviews, check out r/starter_story - I post new stories there daily.Interested in sharing your own story? Send me a PM