#sibling!e-tion

[ambivalence-and-torpor]

Kaitou: I think you☾ have to take that up with my father. Not too sure how far you☾ en☾ up.. but the thought is not a ba☾ one.

Perhaps you shoul☾ set your aim twoar☾s my younger siblings to ☾ote on. As much as I enjoy some attention, I am not as keen as they are for someone's attention.. an☾ especially of the parental variety.

->He gives a small chuckle..

But seeing as you are here, I take it you have met some others? I hear☾ my sisters speak of you.. an☾ my father must be rather intereste☾ in you to have you as his guest.

AC: Oh I'm sure you're ol☽ enough to be fine without some parental gui☽an☾e. You look like a proper man and everything. AC: Hah... to be honest, you look more likely to have a family of your own by now.

AC: As for your siblings... I've met Haruyu briefly. Lovely la☽y she is. Perhaps a little shy for wor☽s, but I ☾oul☽ sense her ☾onvi☾tions. AC: And I've met Yani. Oh what a bun☽le of joy they are! I alrea☽y offere☽ to a☽opt them multiple times. I hope they ☾ome by again.

AC: And while I ☽o think that Jaevya ☽oesn't resemble Tayashi in the least, I ☾an't help but feel like he belongs to the family too...

AC: Shoul☽ I prepare for even more of Tayashi's ☽es☾en☽ants? I'☽ love to meet them! Everybo☽y so far has been su☾h sweethearts... Well, Tayashi ex☾lu☽e☽, but I'm sure you ☾an un☽erstan☽ that sentiment, hehe.

[aug-archive-1]

Radio Transcript: Raw Audio File #3

Day 88

This is a message from the people remaining from the coast, being broadcast to anyone who can ----------ur city, our home, this shining jewel of civilizatio-------------------here is no w-----o carry on here. Every ye------e storms come a--------------what we need to surviv------------- golden -ields of grain--------ean water, and-------------------------------------------------------gly -----g------us weath------------this-------------aven, a place of peac------------------angels. Now, it is------------eing carried ----------------- 

--------------istening to this, know that --------------------------We did not fail-------------------- -------here by our own -----------------------se we allowed ---------------- metal bodies of the things we built to serve us. Our automata, the ---------------------------------------improve the quality of our li--------ook it upon the---------------prioritize th-------------------------------------------urvival of their makers--------------rafted them, raised them ---------------------or ---------------red existence, taught ------------------------------------------------------and shielded th-------------destruction which w------ ---------------- consumed ---------------------------------umanity------------------ trust we pla-------------- -------------------------------ital power fr--------------------------------------------------------------------- to prevent the-----------------------------------------the city----------------------------- green, growing, and safe -------------------f hum----------------------------------able. 

As I re--------- broadcast, we prepare-----------------------------march inl---------------------ay here. If you are hea------------------------------------------------ome here, and do not -------------------- ---------tion marked with ---------------- seal. The city is d--------------------nded by --------------------- ------ healing that ca-----------------e a place of safety, -----------Do all you can w--------------- and trust in one another. Humani------------------lies with our ab-------to overc------------sible odds. We’ve done it --------------can do it again. 

----------------------------------ma (form--------------------man 7) signing off. 

This Message Will Repeat.

Press enter for next...

[a-z0-9-i-n-gram-completionist]

1:    0 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z    34/36    (26/26)

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4:    2863 3557 4cha 5573 5730 6355 8635 acce addi ades adob agin aliz ally amil anne ante anth anua apad appe ause beat beca been blog body brac capa caus cces cess chan clip colo cond coul ddin diff ding diti dobe dont draw eali ecau ecol eems ejec embr emov enin enjo eren erro esca esqu essi etti ever exit fami feel fere ffer foll free from gett gimm gine glad gonn grey gues hann happ have here hole hoot houl hred ible idea iffe ilia imag immi inst into ipar ippe isyp itio itse ized ject liar like lipa lipp lize llow lore lour mage magi make manu mbra mick mili mmic more move must ndit ners neve nfam nice ning njoy nner nobo note nste nted nthe nual obod oday olen ollo olor olou ondi onna oote ored orld osts oter otes ould over pade pant part peni phus pink post pped ppen race real reco reje remo rent rror scap seem self shoo shou shre sibl sisy sque ssib stea stoc stol suck syph tead teal that them then ther ting tion tock toda tole tsel ttin uall ucks uess uldn unfa used want what worl your yphu    202/1679616    (195/456976)

5:    28635 35573 4chan 55730 63557 86355 acces addin adobe agine alize amili anner anted anthe anual apade appen becau brace capad cause ccess cessi chann clipa clipp color colou condi could dding diffe ditio ealiz ecaus ecolo eject embra emove ening enjoy erent error escap esque essib ettin famil feren ffere follo getti gimmi gonna guess hanne happe hoote hould iffer iliar image imagi immic inste ipart ipped isyph ition itsel lipar lippe lized lored magin manua mbrac milia mmick mover nditi never nfami nners nobod notes nstea nther nuall obody ollow olore olour ondit ooter ouldn pades panth penin posts ppeni reali recol rejec remov scapa seems shoot shoul shred sible sisyp ssibl stead steal stock stole sucks syphu today tolen tself tting ually unfam wante world yphus    129/60466176    (123/11881376)

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9:    286355730 4channers accessibl ccessible condition different escapades happening nfamiliar recolored unfamilia    11/101559956668416    (9/5429503678976)

10:    accessible unfamiliar    2/3656158440062976    (2/141167095653376)

I was gonna steal @i-remove-color-from-posts’s gimmick but then I realized I have no idea how

So instead I recolored them

Enjoy >:)

[onf-headcanons]

ONF MEMBERS AS YOUR SIBLING (HYOJIN & E-TION version)

We will be heading to universe 3!!!!! (Still have a long way to complete this series as there are 21 pairing)

Either you are related from Hyojin or Changyoon side and either one of them later joined the family. Confusing? OK example you are Hyojin’s sibling by blood and then later Changyoon joined. Or in reversed, Hyojin was the one who joined later.

Or You are the youngest sibling (could be in terms age when the family comes together or you being born later)

Or, You are the eldest, as stand in for Hyojin’s elder sister, or Changyoon’s elder brother.

Any scenario that is suitable to your own imagination. Also there will be some repeated ideas from first universe because i would like to keep characterization consistency.

Btw this pair of sibling would be quiet but noisy unless they are triggered. But if you are their sibling, you might have already kinda used to the noise.

*For Hyo-tion, I will not be doing recommendation *winks

BUT!!! IT WILL BE FUN TO HAVE THIS DUO TO BE CLASSMATE TURNED SIBLINGS. To elaborate, Changyoon was transferred from Jeonju to Seoul some years ago, and then enrolled to the same high school/college class with Hyojin.

*ONE BONUS IDEA WHICH I AM NOT GOING TO ELABORATE, WOULD BE HYOJIN’S ELDER SIBLING AND CHANGYOON’S ELDER SIBLING GETTING MARRIED AND THEY BECOME IN-LAWS LOL 

Also, this family is close with the other 2 families that sharing the same universe. You can check masterlist to see which other families are in universe 3 here 

Ok lets go to some common headcanons (Also apply with you being the eldest)

They might need a bit of time, because suddenly they had to live in a household. Both are looking headstrong on the outside but also sensitive in nature.

(As food is important based on them both in recent interviews and Changyoon’s “we need to eat so that we could live.” ) THEIR USUAL GREETING TOWARDS EACH OTHER IS : “HAVE YOU EATEN?”

Frequently, non nonchalantly asking each other if wanna eat out

If you are related to Hyojin, should Changyoon finds a nice Jeonju cuisine restaurant, he would bring Hyojin and you over to try it out.

To elaborate it further, Changyoon will bring you and Hyojin around when the new family first visited Jeonju. It could be Hyojin suggested Changyoon to do that so that he can know more about his new brother. 

They act like being distant acquainted friends with siblings status recognised by the law, but actually both are very observant and caring towards each other.

You might worry if your brothers cannot get along well because they seems to be interacting less. But actually your worry is just overthinking.

Changyoon might be a bit intimidated by Hyojin because of his temper when Seungjoon teasing the latter. 

And Hyojin might felt Changyoon is a very distant person who prefers to be alone. But we all know Changyoon is just a bit timid when it comes to getting know/ approaching one step further with new people. So both are not a lone wolf type. With Hyojin being observant, he will absolutely stand back and let the other party to come when their more comfortable.

With INFP Changyoon and ISFJ Hyojin, It is not like they are not good at expressing sibling affection towards each other, they just don’t attach to the overly clingly brothers mode because they are more practical in my opinion. They tend to show each other they care by supporting each other, talking about deeper topics and remembering small details. 

Teasing and joking will be there (boys will be boys) but it is kept to the minimum.

(BTW depending on some sources Hyojin is ISFJ and ESFJ both are from some random variety show snippets, as from IDOL WORKSHOP where members mentioned Hyojin like to stay indoors, I will irresponsibly conclude him as ISFJ for now)

So it is possible that they will be awkwardly adjusting due to being too cautious until one party gives in and mentions they need to be more frank towards each other.

Then the chemistry start to change. Even though same age, Hyojin would act as if he is older than Changyoon.

Both knew about each other’s singing ability and will occasionally hang out at Karaoke. Bonus actually if they both have Youtube account that upload covers,you might suggest them to upload a cover video to Youtube. Also occasionally you are the one who suggested song titles for them to cover.

Then their subscribers might wonder how did they get close and as more collaborations happen, they just tell the truth.

If you are Changyoon’s sibling, you will help out by finishing his sentences when he is buffering. Hyojin knew about it as they are in the same class, he will give Changyoon some time to reorganize.

But then if they do fight, Hyojin surely will be the one blasting words, being on point as possible. (this scenario is rare unless it is something that triggered he to the point he could not hold in)

Even though they look “not close”, they will still laugh at each other’s jokes and weird antics. 

When they both are older, one of them had a notion to get a tattoo and started researching it and another gained interest after peaking. Then they both went to get tattoo together, Hyojin even get 2 because he could not decide. (Maybe later end up being scolded by parents lol)

Scenario  (You being the youngest or being the one to be born later)

Your elder brothers play with you by giving out a lot of weird aegyos. And then they will laugh at themselves for being OOC

BTW you three when playing hide and seek or tag in the house will defo turn the house up side down. 

From your childhood memory, Changyoon seems to be the brother who is smitten with you, typically likes to squish your chubby cheeks when you are still younger. Hyojin would be the sometimes prankster that would jumpscare you.

When you are toddler, Changyoon carries you in his arms most while Hyojin piggybacks you the most.

But both of their love are endless for the younger sibling. you might find it funny when you introduced your boyfriend/Partner to your brothers and Hyojin is the one who is being unsettled.

If you are from Hyojin’s side, similar with your brother, you might find Changyoon a bit intimidating. 

If you are from Changyoon’s side and you have opposite personality, you will be the one to approach Hyojin first.

BLESS your ears when they sing in the house.

RIP your ears when you play video games or monopoly with them both.

YOU FORCING THEM TO GO INTO HAUNTED HOUSES DURING THEME PARK VISIT BECAUSE YOU WON ROCK PAPER SCISSORS, and you are trying hard to catch your breathe as you laugh at your big brothers. Also RIP your ears.

OH AND RIP YOUR SOUL if you happen to messed up. Them both will nag you for sure. Changyoon is a more softer type big brother while Hyojin definitely is a more stern type. Changyoon forgives/lets go easily after he criticized and understood that you will learn from the mistake. But Hyojin will need you to understand what you have done wrong and exactly what led towards the mistake before letting you go free from his nagging.

So unlike previous sibling hcs, you will not go to only 1 brother when you ask for opinion/guides in life choices. You will come to them both same time. Even if 1 of them are not present, you will wait until them both are free and all ears.

They are supportive, but also worry if you are perfectly prepared of your choices.

Hearing them discussing in front of you before turn their opinion towards you actually can give you great insight too.  Hyojin will elaborate the consequences and makes sure that you understand and you have the mental preparation to bear it. Changyoon will be the worrywart and asking you some blindspot matter that you did not think of.

If your personality happens to be funny and a bit of crackhead underneath a serious facade, Changyoon will team up with you if you start something funny or you  joining Changyoon. Hyojin would be at one side clapping and laughing his heart out.

Changyoon : Woah, my younger sibling indeed, you sure have sense of humour

lol

If your personality is somewhat closer to Hyojin’s, you and Hyojin both will be supportive when Changyoon participating in singing competition.

Fun fact, should Changyoon participates, Hyojin will not participate. Same goes with the other way round.

Ok I am gonna stop here, I tried to add new hcs that I did not get to cross my mind during previous universes. You can read about them by searching Sibling!onf tag, or just refer to masterlist should you want to read more of Sibling Hyojin or Sibling Changyoon (but paired with other members)

[thatnamelessbutler]

There is nothing wrong with using It pronouns, my younger sibling does that too, along with other pronouns.

-Sweet Voice

[They put their hands over their mouth(or well, mask) and quietly vibrate with joy.]

[octaviasdread]

any girls! dark academia movie recs? i really struggle to find anything not about a group of boys (as much as I love them)

SO MANY!!! This is probably a far more detailed answer than you were expecting but this is a popular question and I want to keep a list for myself and others.

Feel free to add to it/give opinions. I've tried to give a tw for anything I can remember

Girls! Dark Academia Movies/TV Shows

Mona Lisa Smile (2003)

1950s Women’s college

Art professor! Julia Roberts

She’s legit the female Mr Keating of the art & college world

Feminism vs. Tradition

Maggie Gyllenhall x Ginnifer Goodwin; their characters were more than friends. Fight me.

Does not end how you expect

Strike!/All I Wanna Do/The Hairy Bird (1998)

MY FAVOURITE!!!

Free on YouTube under one of its various names

Comedy

1960s all girls boarding school

Young Kirsten Dunst

Group of girls plot to sabotage a merger with a boys school less prestigious than their own

Secret attic clubhouse meetings of the D.A.R aka Daughters of the American Ravioli (eaten cold, ew)

girls get political & advocate for their rights using ANY elaborate and chaotic scheme

TW: eating disorder, vomiting & creepy male teacher but the girls plot against him too

The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (1969)

based on a short book I read for uni by Muriel Spark

1930s girls school in Edinburgh

Scottish teacher! Maggie Smith, controversial with a focus on romantic ideals

Spoiler alert, the liberal teacher is actually a fascist

Her group of fave students has cult- vibes and it’s fascinating

Picnic at Hanging Rock

1970s movie or 2018 mini series

Never watched either but I plan to

Wild Child (2008)

00s romcom every UK teen girl loves

Emma Roberts as the spoiled rich American teenager sent to a strict English boarding school

Plots to get herself expelled but oh no she’s making friends with the girls who help her

And the headmistress has a hot son, and he’s nice??? Double oh no

ICONIC SCENES

Everything! Goes! Wrong!

omg she burns the school down

Feel good, comfort, nostalgia

St Trinians (2007)

English girls boarding school

The kids are all criminals, no joke

So are the teachers

CHAOTIC

gay awakening for british girls

Art heist pulled off by school girls

Government tries to shut them down but oh no, the education minister & the headmistress are ex-lovers

Colin Firth x Rupert Everett in drag

Superior cast: Jodie Whittaker, Gemma Arterton, Juno Temple, Stephen Fry, Colin Firth, etc...

embodies the phrase 'problematic fave'

St Trinians 2: The Legend of Fritton’s Gold (2009)

Mystery, pirate ancestors, hidden treasure

omg Shakespeare was a woman

girls disguised as boys to infiltrate and rob the posh boys school

Villain! David Tennant in that ICONIC boat scene

Teen girls vs. ancient misogynist brotherhood

like the first film but MORE chaotic and BETTER!???

The Falling (2014)

1960s all girls school

best friends! but its unrequited love

Agoraphobic + distant mother aka mommy issues

Sudden death and the school suppresses/ignores the students grief, sparking mass hysteria & a fainting epidemic in the girls

Cast: Maisie Williams (GoT) & Florence Pugh (Little Women) & Joe Cole (Peaky Blinders)

TW: teen pregnancy, death, vomiting, underage s*x, sibling inc*st, past s*xual assault

READ THE PLOT SUMMARY FIRST

The Book Thief (2013)

Based on an amazing book by Markus Zusak

set in 1940s Nazi Germany

Daughter of a communist whose family were taken by the Nazis/died is fostered by an older couple who teach her to read & she paints a dictionary on the basement walls

Coming of age story about a compulsive book thief. No joke, this kid steals books from banned book burnings and breaks into the mayor's library through the window

Family hides the Jewish son of an old friend in their basement and he helps her to start writing about her experiences in the war

TW: death, bombings, WW2 anti-semitism

Mary Shelley (2017)

Overall good & roughly biographical

Pretty costumes and aesthetic

Modern feminist take on Mary Shelly in her own time period

So many INACCURACIES for the drama so don’t take it as truth

Percy Shelley slander and not all of it is justified

Cast: Elle Fanning, Douglas Booth, and Maisie Williams

The Secret Garden (1993)

Based on a fave childhood book

1901 colonial India & Yorkshire, England

Orphaned, spoilt & neglected girl sent to live with her reclusive Uncle in the English countryside

Gothic elements, mysteries, secret doors/passages/locked gardens

local boy with a flock of animals, magic, kids chanting around a fire and all around immaculate vibes

Happy ending!!!

Hidden Figures (2016)

African-American women as mathematicians for NASA

1960s space project

Women balancing a career and family obligations

Deals with racial & gender discrimination

Loosely based on the lives of Katherine Johnson, Mary Jackson, and Dorothy Vaughan who worked for NASA as engineers & mathematicians

Anne of Green Gables (1985) & sequel (1987)

Adaptation L.M. Montgomery’s ‘Anne of Green Gables’ books

Canada (late 1890s/early 1900s)

Highly imaginative & bookworm orphan is adopted by a reclusive elderly brother and sister duo

Small town & school years comedic drama

Unrequited Enemies -> Friends -> lovers

Inspiring new woman teacher

Girls re-enact Tennyson’s poem and nearly drown for the aesthetic™

Dramatic poetry reading with INTENSE 👀eye contact👀

Writer! Anne & English teacher! Anne dealing with unruly girls school antics

Collette (2018)

biographical drama on french writer Sidonie-Gabrielle Collette

Victorian & Edwardian era France

More talented than her husband so she ghostwrites for him

Fight for creative ownership of her wildly successful novels

Affairs with a woman called Georgie and also with Missy, born female but masculine presenting

Cast: Keira Knightly, Dominic West, Eleanor Tomlinson (Poldark)

Enola Holmes (2020)

Netflix book adaptation

Younger sister of Sherlock Holmes

Victorian era! feminism/suffragettes

Mother-daughter focus

Mystery, adventure, secret codes, teens running away & escaping from (and eventually fighting) assassins

Cast: Helena Bonham Carter, Henry Cavill, Sam Claflin, Fiona Shaw, Millie Bobby Brown

Ginger & Rosa (2012)

1960s England

best friends since literal birth navigating troubled teen years

poet & anti-nuclear activist! Ginger

off the rails but also catholic! Rosa

Shout out to Mark & Mark the gay godfathers we all want

family troubles 

TW: older man has an affair with a 17 yr old

Testament of Youth (2014)

based on WW1 memoir by Vera Brittain

young woman (writer & poetry lover) escapes traditional family & goes to study at Oxford University

abandons to become a war nurse

romance, tragedy and war trauma

Cast: Alicia Vikander, Kit Harrington (GoT), Taron Edgerton (Rocketman), Colin Morgan (Merlin)

Little Women (2019)

Writer! Jo & Artist! Amy

Mother/daughter focus and sister dynamics

the March sisters’ theatre club is *chefs kiss*

champagne problems edits of Jo x Laurie are a mood

Ambivalent ending perfectly captures Louisa May Alcott’s dilemma with the book the movie is based on

set in 1860s America

ALL STAR CAST and a Greta Gerwig masterpeice

Lady Bird (2017)

coming of age in early 2002/2003 Sacramento, California

all girls catholic school

writer! Christine aka Lady Bird wants to get outta town and start her life again at college 'in a city with culture'

Mother/daughter dynamics - so realistic!

I live for that Jesus car stunt & the nun's reaction

school theatre program

Cast: Saoirse Ronan, Timothee Chalamet, Beanie Feldstein

Another Greta Gerwig gem

Beguiled (2017)

Virginia, civil war era

Girls school with only five students and two teachers left

Find an injured Union army soldier & bring him inside

Women & teenagers want his attention (v. problematic) before uniting against him

(tbh you'll either love it, hate it, or watch once & forget it)

Sofia Coppola film so its very feminine gaze

TW: violence, death, underage

Legally Blonde (2001)

No questions will be taken

Elle Woods was the blue print

TV series:

House of Anubis (2011-2013)

I know it’s a kids/young teen show but I still unironically love it

ANCIENT EGYPT!!!!

Modern day with Victorian era links to treasure hunters & Egyptian research expeditions (stealing from tombs)

Chosen one plot lines, curses, kidnapping, mysteries, secret tunnels under the school, elixir of life

Teens have investigate & protect themselves cus oh no the TEACHERS are involved in some shady stuff

new American kid at British boarding school is the actual premise not just a fanfic au

Nostalgic, light-hearted, funny, and kinda cheesy but I will accept no criticism

The Alienist (2018 -now)

Mid 1890s, New York

Woman’s private detective agency (Season 2)

Serial killer mystery

Woman secretary turns detective and teams up with a criminal psychiatrist and a newspaper editor to solve crime

TW: violence, child pr*stit*tion

Cast: Dakota Fanning, Luke Evans, Daniel Bruhl

The Queen’s Gambit (2020)

Woman chess prodigy

1950s & 1960s

TW: drug & alcohol abuse

Gentleman Jack (2019 - now)

Based on the diaries of Anne Lister

Victorian Yorkshire, England

Upper-class lesbians

Confident, suit wearing! Anne Lister x shy! Ann Walker

Business woman! Anne running the family mines

Cast: Suranne Jones (Doctor Foster) & Sophie Rundle (Peaky Blinders)

TW: violence

Gilmore Girls (2000-2007)

bubbly/ambitious single mom + intelligent daughter

bookworm! Rory Gilmore gets into a prestigious private school and then an Ivy League college

Small town drama is comedic gold

Fast dialogue packed with pop culture and literary references

Comforting & nostalgic

TEAM JESS

Anne with an E (2017-2019)

Loose adaptation of L.M. Montgomery’s ‘Anne of Green Gables’ books

they completely change the plot lines but it’s still very good content!

Orphan girl with trauma and a love of books/poetry is adopted by an elderly brother & sister duo, bringing light and fresh ideas to a rural community

Feminism, girls writing club, lgbtq safe spaces, girls eduction, black/indigenous representation

Miss Stacy as THAT inspiring teacher

Aunt Josephine’s lavish gay parties have my heart

TW: creepy male teacher tries to marry a student, racial discrimination, indigenous assimilation school

Victoria (2016-2019)

Adaption of Queen Victoria’s life

Victoria navigating her political, royal, and personal life

Albert’s involvement with The Great Exhibition, 1851 (on cultural + industrial innovations)

Alfred Paget x Edward Drummond is exquisite

Gorgeous costumes and aesthetics

TW: bury your gays trope

Derry Girls (2018-now)

1990s Northern Ireland during the troubles

Comedy, episodes 20-25 mins long

English boy sent to an all girls Catholic school with his cousin

✨Dead Poets Society parody episode ✨with a free-spirited female teacher

Sister Michael, the sarcastic nun who hates her job & reads the exorcist for giggles

Wee anxious lesbian! Clare Devlin (plus her friends wearing rainbow pins)

Badass with bad ideas! Michelle Mallon

Main Character! Erin Quinn

Lovable weirdo who would fight a polar bear! Orla McCool

Wee English fella & honorary Derry girl! James Maguire

Dickinson (2019-now)

Loose adaption of the poet Emily Dickinson’s life

Set in 19th century Massachusetts, US

Historical drama with modern dialogue & music that works SEAMLESSLY

gives a great understanding of Emily Dickinson’s poems

💕Vintage gays! Emily x Sue💕

Theatre club, writing, poetry, dressing as men to sneak into lectures, love letters, teen drama, feminism, and an underground abolitionist journal as a brief side plot in season 2

Wiz Khalifa plays death in a horse drawn carriage

TW: opium use

A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017-2019)

Based on great childhood books

Bookworm! brother, Inventor! sister, and baby sister with sharp teeth

Mystery, secret organisations, orphaned siblings figuring things out & fending for themselves against the villain after their fortune

Adults either cartoon evil, comedically incompetent, or SPIES

Boarding school, library owner, scientific researcher, and theatre episodes

Ambiguous time period which is really fun to try and pin point

Killing Eve (2018-now)

Classic detective who has homoerotic tension with the assassin she is tracking down

British Detective! Eve Polastri figures out the notorious assassin MI5 are investigating is a woman, is fired & then put on a secret MI6 case with a small team

Assassin! Villanelle, a psychopath with a tragic past and a mastery of both accents & fashion

Woman MI6 boss! Carolyn Martens, head of Russian section

Travel Europe following Villanelle’s killings and escaping the assassins sent by Villanelle’s organisation

‘You’re supposed to be my enemy and moral opposite but omg you’re the only one smart enough to get me and why am I obsessed with you????'

🚨 GO IN FOR A KISS AND THEN STAB YOUR ENEMY 🚨

Cable Girls/Las chicas del cable (2017-2020)

Spanish drama set in 1920s Madrid

Four young women at a telecommunications company form a group of friends and help navigate the difficult situations they are all in

Secret identities, dangerous pasts, murder, crime, lgbtq couple & throuple, trans man character, feminism/suffragists

girls commit crimes for humanitarian reasons and cover! it! up!

UNDERRATED SHOW!!!!

Gorgeous costumes and set

Haven’t finished it yet and I’m catching up

TW: abuse, violence, death

Outlander (2014 - now)

haven’t watched yet but plan to

Woman time travels to Scotland, 1743

Rebel highlanders, pirates, British colonies, American revolutionary war

Time jumps between 18th & 20th century

[highoctanegem]

[pm] Mmmm, hot. Are you taking charge just to make me feel some type of way? Now, I totally trust my girl Lynn, but I won't be the person to stop you in this endeavor. Do I know? I can never get you out of my head, you're rent-free, baby. I think I have a clue what that feels like!!!!

You really think so? :( That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me, and that's like, saying something. You deserve someone with a stiff D. I will I'll be that person I dunno. Van thinks And Emilio, you know? And even Siobhan Maybe I'm just not good without my siblings.

Babe, you really are tone-deaf. It's one of the things I love most about you. I think it's so cute how it works like that. You and me. I'll have all the tone we could need. [user actually isn't sure of something she'd always wanted to do, almost like her whole life orbits around one particular thing] Well, I do love the beach. Ooooh, taxidermy on the wall. It brings back the best of memories :) See, you're in my mind again. Mmmmm... [user gets distracted] Oh, I don't have a collection. But I do have the deluxe version of E•MO•TION that I've never gotten to play.

Well, just cause it's for me it doesn't mean it's not soaked. And, there's nothing wrong with sharing that sogginess with the rest of the world. Everybody would be so lucky. Maybe you weren't what I had in mind cause my mind never knew what perfection felt or looked like before. It's the bestest discovery. And now I know, and there's nothing and no one that compares. Is that moist enough?

I think you're a little jelly, babe. By the way you wanna throw hands (fight) with a vacuum :) I have no clue how tall Kirby is, actually. So not desirable. You sound so hot wanting to discard that vacuum actually, I don't even wanna keep hyping up the vacuum. He's forgotten.

Uh-huh. Yup. I mean, I get it. More limbs can do a lot more things. Soooo cool. Soooo dope. RIGHT! Remember I'm fit and I have nice arms!

[pm] Yes, I believe I should speak to this veterinarian. Who knows what vet school is teaching them? Perhaps nothing at all. Were I able to touch Melody I would examine his eyes myself. [user could definitely touch the cat] Well, I was waiting to get home from work. Do you know how difficult it is to think about that while at The Apple Store? Or not think about it? Actually, it's rather appealing in there, with the sterile white walls and minimal decor. Perhaps after everyone leaves one day

Your D will harden again, Jade. I have never known anyone to have a harder D, other than banshees And if you require my assistance or support to maintain your D, you know where to find me (most likely next to you). What do you think has afflicted your D?

She tried, but I wasn't any good, apparently. I thought it sounded about the same as when she I am not tone deaf. [user is tone deaf; user knows she is tone deaf but is stupid about it; user's stomach hurts] You know how I feel about the bog. But the bog was for me. You will select the trip next time -- something you have always wanted to do. However, we should still attempt to find a hotel with taxidermy on the walls. A record player? I don't want to break your records by examining them, but which have eluded your collection? Do you have a collection?

[user is taking copious notes] I will do my best.

Both parts. I am neither excessively soggy nor am I grumpy. I... the moisture is only for you. No one else can see me damp. I doubt that I'm what you had in mind. But then, I never imagined anyone like you. Not even dead.

I do not get jealous, either. Especially of vacuums. [user's stomach hurts again] I am not jealous. We can admit that I have allowed myself to feel certain ways but this is not one of them. Wait, is the vacuum taller than me? Is that what you're saying? How tall? That sounds unwieldy and not at all desirable. I would discard that vacuum at once.

The extra limbs are interesting, aren't they? I have never seen such fully formed extra appendages. But they're not your limbs. Your limbs count for twenty Vitruvian Men.

[girlactionfigure]

Only when he got older he realized just how fortunate he and his family were to be alive.

“The extermination of most of his relatives and millions of other Jews by the Nazis; the intrusive, unemployed immigrants who survived and crowded his parents’ small apartment; his sickly childhood; his mother’s dark moods; his own ever-present depression” - all of this, he survived, according to Patricia Cohen of The New York Times.

He was born in Brooklyn to Polish-Jewish immigrant parents on June 10, 1928.

One of his earliest photographs (attached to this story) shows him as an infant - “a plump, round-faced, slanting-eyed, droopy-lidded, arching-browed creature” held by his mother, with his older siblings, according to writer Margalit Fox.

Growing up, Murray as he was then known “har­bored ongo­ing fear of the per­ils that might lurk out­side of his home and neigh­bor­hood” and remembered how he cel­e­brat­ed his bar mitz­vah, according to writer Stephen Whit­field. 

That's when his father discovered that much of his extended family had died in concentration camps. The young boy thought he had "done something very bad, that I had made him suffer more than he had to."

“The death of members of his extended family during the Holocaust . . . exposed him at a young age to the concept of mortality,” according to NPR.

“As he got old­er, he was con­stant­ly aware of his mar­gin­al­i­ty and dif­fer­ence,” wrote Whit­field.

He seemed to be always sick, but when he was well, he could be naughty. He remembered his mother often called him “vilde chaya”, which in Yiddish meant "wild animal".

“His view of the outside world was often limited. . . and the little that he could see from his window,” according to PBS. “It was during this time that he began to draw and to allow his imagination to run free.”

He made a name for himself as an illustrator. When he received an opportunity to write his first book, he used the title "Where the Wild Horses Are" - unfortunately, he realized he couldn't draw horses, so he told his editor. His editor would respond, "Well, what can you draw?"

He would answer "Things."

He would become “the most important children’s book artist of the 20th century, who wrenched the picture book out of the safe, sanitized world of the nursery and plunged it into the dark, terrifying and hauntingly beautiful recesses of the human psyche,” according to the New York Times.

He remembers receiving a letter from one fan:

In an interview with NPR, he is quoted as saying, “A little boy sent me a charming card with a little drawing on it. I loved it. I answer all my children's letters – sometimes very hastily – but this one I lingered over . . . I wrote, 'Dear Jim: I loved your card.' Then I got a letter back from his mother and she said: 'Jim loved your card so much he ate it.' That to me was one of the highest compliments I've ever received . . . He saw it, he loved it, he ate it.”

~~~~~

“Maurice Sendak has been one of the most consistently inventive and challenging voices in children’s literature,” according to PBS. “His books and productions are among the best-loved imaginative works of their time. Like the Grimm brothers before him, Sendak has created a body of work both entertaining and educational, which will continue to be popular for generations.”

“Roundly praised, intermittently censored and occasionally eaten, Mr. Sendak’s books were essential ingredients of childhood for the generation born after 1960 or thereabouts, and in turn for their children,” wrote Fox. “He was known in particular for more than a dozen picture books he wrote and illustrated himself, most famously ‘Where the Wild Things Are,’ which was simultaneously genre-breaking and career-making when it was published by Harper & Row in 1963.”

He brought “to life a world of fantasy and imagination,” according to PBS. “His unique vision is loved around the globe by both young and old.”

When he died in 2012, the Washington Post wrote:

“They say that a creative adult is simply a child who has survived. Sendak survived a great deal, losing relatives in the Holocaust and struggling through a childhood that he remembered as “a very passionate, upsetting, silly, comic business.”

“And his books captured this — never talking down, yet always reassuring.

“The best writers are the ones who trust their audiences. Sendak did. And we trusted him right back.

“Sendak did not lie to children. He did not attempt to say that the world was more or less difficult than it was.”

~~~~~

In 2008 in the New York Times, Sendak revealed that he was gay and had lived with his partner, psychoanalyst Eugene Glynn (February 25, 1926 – May 15, 2007), for 50 years before Glynn's death in May 2007.

In that article, Sendak said he never told his parents: "All I wanted was to be straight so my parents could be happy," he recalled. "They never, never, never knew."

In a 2011 interview with NPR host Terry Gross, Mr. Sendak said "finding out that I was gay when I was older was a shock and a disappointment. I did not want to be gay. It meant a whole different thing to me — which is really hard to recover now because that's many years ago. I always objected to it because there is a part of me that is solid Brooklyn and solid conventional and I know that. I can't escape that. It's my genetic makeup. It's who I am."

Elisabeth Hoffman of the Baltimore Sun wrote, “Why do we pass laws that isolate, demean and shame people for something so utterly personal? It's no surprise that gay teens are bullied. No surprise that Maurice Sendak had to hide part of his identity from his parents — and from his readers.”

“In that often emotional NPR interview, Sendak also said: "I have nothing now but praise for my life. I'm not unhappy. I cry a lot because I miss people. They die and I can't stop them. They leave me and I love them more. What I dread is the isolation. There are so many beautiful things in the world which I will have to leave when I die. But I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready."

~~~~~

“His work . . . did not seek to for­get the emo­tion­al threats that scarred his life,” wrote Whit­field. “Sendak’s rec­ol­lec­tions of dread and dan­ger instead became the source of a painstak­ing cre­ativ­i­ty that [Golan Y.] Moskowitz [author of “Wild Vision­ary: Mau­rice Sendak in Queer Jew­ish Context”] read­i­ly calls illus­tra­tions of ​“genius.” Sendak believed that his fan­tasies must instill truths, rather than con­firm the con­ven­tions of inno­cence, and this think­ing rev­o­lu­tion­ized the way that young peo­ple were under­stood and addressed.”

In that last interview with NPR, “the beloved children’s writer and illustrator was 83 years old and in declining health. He was feeling the loss of people close to him who had died in recent years. Inevitably, the discussion turned to issues of mortality … By the time it was over there were teary-eyed people in cars all across North America. One listener, Brent Eades, left a message on the NPR Web site: “I happened to be listening to this extraordinary interview while on the early-morning commute from my small Ontario town to Ottawa. I was entirely absorbed in it; and the final couple of minutes left me with tears streaming down my face, which I’m sure nonplussed my fellow commuters.”

~~~~~

In “Where the Wild Things Are”, Sendak wrote:

“ . . . the wild things cried, “Oh please don’t go we’ll eat you up-we love you so!”

And Max said, “No!”

The wild things roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth

and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws

but Max stepped into his private boat and waved good-bye

and sailed back over a year

and in and out of weeks

and through a day

and into the night of his very own room

where he found his supper waiting for him.”

~ jsr

The Jon S. Randal Peace Page

[taste-in-music]

My Favorite Albums of 2019

It’s that time of the year again folks! 2019 was year filled with exciting new releases by some of my all-time favorite artists being dropped left and right at an overwhelming rate. Not only that, there were so many debut full-length projects from artists that had been simmering in the EP zone for years, or had otherwise gotten onto my radar from their shorter efforts in years prior. Needless to say, I found this year to be even more enjoyable and enthralling than last year, and last year was pretty great. I’m going to stop rambling. Like last year’s list, this is in no particular order with the exception of the final album, which is my favorite album of the year. 

Dedicated by Carly Rae Jepsen: Part of me was nervous for this album’s release. How could Queen Carly Rae possibly follow up the modern pop masterpiece that is E•MO•TION? However, my nervousness was sated when I heard the single “Now That I Found You,” which, I’m going to say it, is the best pop song of the year. Hands down, no competition even came close. It slams every single time I put it on. The whole album is a lot of fun to listen to, from the glimmering sugar-rush synths on the opening track “Julian” to the playful Popeye sample on “Everything He Needs.” If for any reason you’re still a Jepsen skeptic stuck on her being the “Call Me Maybe Girl,” give this album and E•MO•TION a try and you will realize just how much she has to offer.

My Top Tracks: Now That I Found You, Party For One, Happy Not Knowing

Heard It In A Past Life by Maggie Rogers: This album dropped in January and it’s safe to say it was my first favorite album of the year. I’d been counting down the days to this since falling in love with Now That The Light Is Fading early last year. I made an entire post reacting to this album, and while some of my thoughts have changed since then, I can still say that this project has an array of great folk-pop songs with excellent vocals and lush production. Classics like “Alaska” are always fun to return to, but the deeper cuts are what really shine on this project. The bounciness of “The Knife” cements it as an essential Summer bop, “Say It” is an achingly relatable and sensually delivered unrequited love song, the fluttering opening chorus of angels on “Retrograde” gives me chills every time, and “Back In My Body” reduces me to an emotional wreck.

My Top Tracks: The Knife, Retrograde, Back In My Body

Sucker Punch by Sigrid: Sometimes you just need to listen to something that will make you happy, and this album offers joy in spades. Sigrid’s vocals range from fleeting and emotional to raspy, but are always charming. The production is vibrant and colorful, from the flurry of strings that open “Sight of You” to the splashy sound effects that pepper “Business Dinners” or that giant, stomping chorus on “Mine Right Now.” The hooks on this album are catchy as ever, crawling their way right into your brain and making a home there in the best kind of way. Sigrid is such a reinvigorating presence in the pop world, and while I do wish that she could have made more of a splash stateside, seeing her European success gives me hope for the future.

My Top Tracks: Sight Of You, In Vain, Don’t Feel Like Crying

Keepsake by Hatchie: If I had heard Hatchie’s debut EP Sugar & Spice last year, I’m sure that it would’ve made it onto my year end list. Thankfully, this year we’ve got an album, so I can continue to gush about Hatchie and give her the notoriety she deserves. Her vocals are filled with genuine, love stricken euphoria as they drift over fluorescent, guitar driven soundscapes. Listening to this album feels like floating away on cotton candy clouds, it’s a sugar rush of dreamy indie rock that will sweep you clean off your feet.

My Top Tracks: Stay With Me, Without A Blush, Her Own Heart

WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? by Billie Eilish: Listen to this thing with a pair of really good headphones and you’ll be in for a whole experience and half, the production is amazing. Not only that, it’s creative. Take the vocal warping on “xanny” and “bad guy,” or the knives scraping along “you should see me in a crown,” or the sample of a dental drill used on “bury a friend.” (The only exception to this is that first track where she takes out her Invisalign. Those slurpy sounds make me cringe every time.) The rest of the albums is pretty great though. Billie Eilish and Finneas O’Connell went and crafted one of the most lyrically tight and sonically textured pop albums this year had to offer, and for that I have nothing but respect.

My Top Tracks: when the party’s over, all the good girls go to hell, bury a friend

Jade Bird by Jade Bird: Jade Bird has been one of my favorite up-and-coming artists of the past year or so, dropping not only the wonderful Something American EP but also a slew of firecracker singles in anticipation for this album. This project contains not only rock bangers that showcase the firepower and grit in Bird’s voice, (“Uh Huh,” “I Get No Joy,” “Love Has All Been Done Before,”) but also softer, somber ballads that allow her lyricism to shine, (“17,” “If I Die.”) This album is a strong debut that showcases not only promise, but prowess as well.

My Top Tracks: Uh Huh, Love Has All Been Done Before, I Get No Joy

Pang by Caroline Polachek: This album transports me to another plane of reality, melding frosty art-pop soundscapes with glistening synths and captivating melodies. Polachek’s vocals are some of the most expressive and impressive of the year, gliding through runs and jumps with ease. Each song feels like its own little world, whether it be the wistful seas of “Ocean of Tears,” the flitting pianos on “Go As a Dream,” or the funky groove of “So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings,” the most instantly addictive song of the year.

My Top Tracks: So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings, Hit Me Where It Hurts, Look At Me Now

Cheap Queen by King Princess: Everything about King Princess’s music and aesthetic is so self-assured and cool that I feel slightly unworthy of being in her presence. That doesn’t mean that this album is devoid of relatability, however, as the lyrics still touch on themes of self consciousness, (like on the opening track, “Tough On Myself,”) and the trials and tribulations of relationships, (”Prophet,” “Ain’t Together.”) The production on this album meshes King Princess’s modern feel with vintage flourishes, such as old vocal samples or record crackles, that come together to give the record a sense of timelessness. 

My Top Tracks: Tough On Myself, Cheap Queen, Hit the Back

Cuz I Love You by Lizzo: From the very first note of the very first song of this album, you know that Lizzo is putting in 1000%. Can we just sit back and thank the powers of good for allowing us to be in her presence? We truly don’t deserve her. This album has everything, from empowerment anthems, (”Like A Girl,” “Tempo,”) to heartbroken ballads, (the title track, “Jerome,”) to roof-raising bops, (”Juice,” “Exactly How I Feel.”) Every element of this project, from the vibrant production to the powerful vocals to the lyrics, emulates such a sense of confidence and love that by the end of each listen I have no choice but to stan both Lizzo and myself. 

My Top Tracks: Cuz I Love You, Juice, Jerome

Atlanta Millionaires Club by Faye Webster: This album is one of the most charming listens of the year, I heard the very first line of the very first song and fell head over heels in love. Faye Webster’s tear-stained R&B-infused folk pop walks the line between catchy and melancholic, joyful and melodic, just perfectly. “Kingston” gets my award for dreamiest song of the year, I can’t think of any other song that is able to put me at ease faster. Whether she’s lamenting about her best friend being her dog or letting Father jump on a track to deliver the chillest rap verse ever, she’s got something you’ll love up her sleeve.

My Top Tracks: Kingston, Jonny, Room Temperature

Norman Fucking Rockwell! by Lana Del Rey: As soon as I heard “Mariner’s Apartment Complex” last year, my expectations for this album skyrocketed through the roof. Needless to say, this album didn’t disappoint, and is in my opinion Lana’s strongest work to date. Norman Fucking Rockwell! features some of the most mature and sharp songwriting, beautiful performances, and sweet melodies of her whole career. The title track works like a diss track, as Lana roasts the subject in question with beautiful eloquence. The lilting syllables on the chorus of “Bartender” allow the song to nestle deep in your brain and stay for a while. The atmosphere of the album reminds me of a cool day in early September, driving down the coastline of rural California, and I adore it.

My Top Tracks: Norman fucking Rockwell, Cinnamon Girl, Mariners Apartment Complex

Don’t Feed The Pop Monster by Broods: What a fun and refreshing listen this turned out to be! Whether it’s with a Summery synthpop jam on “Peach,” the 90s-eque grunge of “Old Dog,” or the heartbroken pleading on “Why Do You Believe Me?” Broods always deliver. While the sound of this project is a bit all over the place, that doesn’t mean that it isn’t cohesive, as it is grounded by the creative force that is the Nott siblings. If you’re on the hunt for some pop that’ll keep you on your toes, then this should be right up your alley. (Also, get some good headphones, wrap yourself up in a fuzzy blanket, and really take in “Life After.” You won’t regret it. That song continuously brings me to tears. Just beautiful.)

My Top Tracks: Peach, Sucker, Life After

Practice Magic and Seek Professional Help When Necessary by Tōth: I think I’ve finally found an album that can finally help define as “warlock music.” I stumbled across Tōth due to his involvement in the band Rubblebucket, (whose song “Fruity” made my favorite songs of the year list last year,) and what a hidden gem his music turned out to be. There’s a kind of sweet peacefulness that inhibits this album that always keeps me coming back for another listen. The lyrics follow a painful breakup and the healing process after, and the tone of the music wonderfully matches the fragility of that state of mind. The instrumentals are soft and somber, but also have some unique elements sprinkled in, (take the trumpet solo on “No Reason” or the clip-clopping groove on “Copilot.) If you need an album to put on to just unwind, give this one a try, I really love it.  

My Top Tracks: Copilot, No Reason, Picture Of You

Good At Falling by The Japanese House: Let’s contextualize my love for this project. When I heard the single “Follow My Girl” last year, it literally made my jaw drop with its beauty. Now, it’s not even my favorite song from this album. The plucky guitars on “You Seemed so Happy” gets me smiling from the very first chord, and the rhythmic rush that follows each chorus in “Wild” makes my heart skitter. Amber Bain’s vocals are coated in their signature layer of slick vocoding, allowing them to drift over the icy soundscapes with ease. Just lovely.  

My Top Tracks: Follow My Girl, We Talk All The Time, You Seemed so Happy

LÉON by LÉON: And here we have it folks, my favorite album of the year. After years of only releasing EPs, LÉON finally delivered her first full-length project, and it did not disappoint in the slightest. This album’s got it all, both the ever-bouncy bops and the heartbroken ballads that make me miss a relationship that isn’t even mine. LÉON's vocals are as warm and smoky as ever, the melodies are instantly catchy, and the lyrics are to-the-point yet endlessly effective. “Hope Is A Heartache” discusses working through possessive feelings following a breakup, and hits like a gut punch every time. Her voice shines on the “Cruel To Care” voice memo, where she sings in one take over a simple plucked guitar. Other favorite moments include the airy, vocoded “Pink,” (an excellent unrequited love song that tunes into my clownery,) and the doo-wop “ooh-woo”-ing add-libs on “Baby Don’t Talk.” 

My Top Tracks: Baby Don’t Talk, Falling, Pink

Also, if Saved by Now, Now had come out this year it would be #1 on this list. 

What were your favorite albums of 2019? Did you listen to any of these albums? Leave your recommendations and thoughts down below.

[aug-archive-1]

Radio Transcript: Raw Audio File #2

Day 122

This is a messa-------------people remaining from the coast, being broadcast to anyone who can ---------ur city, our home, this shining jewel of civilizatio-----------------here is no w------o carry on here. Every ye--------e storms come a---------------------- what we need to surviv------------------- fields of grain-------lean water, and----------------------------------------------------gly ---g---us weath-- -------his--------aven, a place of peac------------angels. Now, it is----------eing carried -------------- 

----------istening to this, know that ----------------- We did not fail----------------------------here by our own ---------------------------se we allowed --------------------- metal bodies -----------------------lt to serve us. Our automata, the -------------------------------------mprove the quality of our li---------ook it upon the-------------- prioritize th-------------------------------urvival of their makers--------------rafted them, raised them ----------------------lor ----------------red existence, taught ------------------------- -----------------------------------------and shielded th---------------------------destruction which w-------- --------------------- consumed -----------------------umanity,---------------------- trust we pla---------- -------------------------tal power fr----------------------------------------------------------------- to prevent the -----------------------------------------------the city--------------------------- green, growing, and safe -------  ---------------f hum-------------------able. 

As I re-------------- broadcast, we prepare -------------------------march in--------------------- ----ay here. If you are hea---------------------------------------ome here, and do not ---------------------- -------------tion marked with--------------------- seal. The city is d----------------------nded by --------  ---------------- healing that ca-------------------e a place of safety, -----------Do all you can w--------- ------------and trust in one another. Humani-------------------lies with our abi-----to overc-------- --------sible odds. We’ve done it -----------------can do it again. 

-------------------------------------ma (form---------------------------man 7) signing off. 

This Message Will Repeat.

Press enter for next...

[little-watcher]

it gasps in excitement, eyes lighting up. “i love the li ghtnin g the if mus ical! it s so go od! by far th e be st ada pata tion of th e perc y jackson bo oks! th ey’re so goo d. gr eek myth ology is sick.”

it considers their next question for a while. it knows he meant it as a joke, but…

“my fav orite sibl ing is m y si ster. vicky. sh e was th e bes t.”

Rose arrives at the Institute after briefly gathering a few of his things, quite literally buzzing with energy, zapping anything metallic nearby unintentionally. His heart races and he knows that, when caught in a certain mood like this, he'd be stuck wanting to do nothing but what he'd just done over next. He wanted, no. Needed to reassure. To speak of the volume quickly rising in his chest, threatening to spill over, split him apart at the seams. He loved and he cared, both of which he did too much. But with his thoughts racing in a crazed manner, like an animal in a cage, like the Minotaur stick in his labyrinth, he needed to get it out or he might just-

He needed to say it. Say these things, tell them, face to face, to someone. To Ellery. To Laertes. Rose didn't even know what he was going to say, not in a concrete manner, but it needed out.

ellery sits in reception, kicking its feet. it had a feeling this would be the first place rose would come. it winces slightly at their windswept look, he must’ve traveled by the vast?

ellery waves them over, smiling weakly. “he y rose! o ver her e!”

[rkhyxnggu]

HAPPY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY RKSEOKJIN -> RKCHANGYOON -> RKSUNGMIN (and to me)

Wow. I never once thought I would make a post like this. I had thought I would leave after just a few months like the previous times I’ve joined Rookies and that this day would never come but yet here we are.

My muse has come a long way within the past year. He has grown and developed in ways I never expected but I’m glad happened. He has gotten much nicer and softer over time and with each new face I changed him to. I had first wanted a muse that was the complete opposite and unexpected from Seokjin (who was his initial face) which is how rapper Arrow was born. He went from two vocalist face claims to a rapper and I’m glad. Sungmin fits him so well and, even though I think about changing his fc at times, I know I most likely won’t. I’ve come to grow attached to not only Sungmin but the fact that he and Yena are real life siblings (which was the main reason for me to change from E-Tion to Sungmin).

Sungmin has been through a lot this past year. He started as an underground rapper who had 0 friends and a sister complex to then join and ultimately debut in a band that became a family to him. He was then scouted within six months of joining and he signed with Sphere which is where he’s at now. He’s only a few points away from being debut ready and it feels like it has all gone past so quickly. He has had various people come and go from his life and been through hardships and it has taught him so much. I can’t wait to see how he grows and matures within the next year.

Thank you Rookies for embracing both Min and I with open arms.

Now for sappy mun stuff since it’s also my first anniversary here:

Wow. One year at Rookies after how many previous attempts? I’m extremely emotional and overwhelmed that it’s been that long. There is so much I want to say to everyone but there are a few people that have kept me here and have played important roles in Sungmin’s life and in his development. There are so many people I’m leaving out and I’m sorry but don’t think you mean any less! I love you all so much. Some of you will show up in Yoona or BGyu’s announcements later.

In no particular order:

@yuzurk - MY LOVE. You are the reason I’m here today. Joining as Yuzu’s brother has been the best decision of my life and I’m so thankful you opened the connection up to me. Our babies have come so far in the past year and it’s all because of you and the amazing person you are. Without the cuteness that is the siblings I probably would have left long ago. No matter what happens in the future, they will always hold a special place in my heart, as will you. We have so much in common and we get along so well and I’m grateful. Thank you for introducing me to the squad and to everyone here. You were the first to follow me on Twitter and are always the first for a lot of things and I appreciate you so much. You’re a beautiful soul who never fails to make me laugh. You know me so well and I’m blessed to have met you. I love you.

@rkohsehun & @rksxngyeol - My two longest roleplay friends. Words cannot express my love for you both. I remember it was me that once brought you both here (I’m pretty sure. I know I brought one of you here at least) and I’m so happy to see that you have stayed this long. I remember the first rp we met at so many years ago and our memories over time will always linger. I love seeing you guys on my Facebook and you are honestly like family to me. You two are another reason why I’ve stuck here so long. I missed you both more than words can express and to be able to roleplay with you both once again is like a dream come true. All we need is Candace and it’ll be perfect. I love you both so much. Thank you for being with me all these years.

@rkkangjoon - YOU. I love you. I don’t tell you this enough but I do. Even if you don’t know it, you’ve become so important to me. I live for the friendship between Sungmin and Kangjoon and the fact that they are soulmates. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.

@rkxboo - MY LOVE. MY BEAUTIFUL. You have become so important to me. Thank you for taking up the connection I once wanted for a love interest for Sungmin. I never expected SungKwan to become what they are today and it’s because of you. You’re an amazing person and a good friend of mine. I love you. I’m always here if you ever need me.

@rk6tunes - Even if some of you can’t see this, I LOVE YOU ALL. 6tunes has become such an integral part of who Sungmin is today and it’s because of all of you. Even if 6tunes is almost no more, they will always be a family to Sungmin. Each of you muns are amazing and beautiful and I miss you all.

[totalvibration]

55 Albums Released in 2019 That Splash Oat Milk In My Earl Grey

This year felt like slo-mo, a holding pattern and a fast-forward button stumbling towards unknown ends. I spent the early months in paternal bliss and sleep deprivation, caring for my newborn daughter, then spent the rest of the year running to slow down… to make the most of small moments with my family, to juggle that thing every lifestyle magazine calls the work-life balance, to know when I need help and being willing to ask for it, to making priorities with loved ones. 

Also, after years of oolongs and a staunch no-milk-in-tea-except-milk-teas policy, I started putting honey and oat milk in my Earl Grey, an old tea standby that's felt warmly familiar in colder months. Similarly, I dug my heels into familiar-to-me gnarly metal, deep drone and abrasive punk this year, uninterested in poptimist takes on indie-rock. In an effort to maximize more time with new family and less with bulls***, I leaned hard into my Viking's Choice column at NPR Music (which went weekly!) to shout out underground debauchery and beauty to anyone who would listen. 

Below are 55 albums (and a few reissues and archival releases) that hit me in different ways over 2019. No ranking, just links out to Bandcamp where available. They come paired with emoji because that's a thing I do on Twitter. 

See also:

Viking's Choice: The Year In The Loud And The Weird (my annual year-end episode of All Songs Considered)

20 Punk Albums Released In 2019 That Flip Eggs, Pick Up Chains

20 Metal Albums Released In 2019 That Bluurgh Over Sick Riffs

A nine-hour playlist of 2019 jamz 

But first, some stray thoughts:

Ta-Nehisi Coates' still-ongoing Captain America run has been extremely rewarding. A beloved superhero comes to terms with the line between patriotism and nationalism as Coates underlines that American progress often comes from reluctance. 

Daniel Warren Johnson's Murder Falcon spoke to me not only as a metalhead who loves cartoonishly kick-ass violence, but also as a dude with a tender heart… that final issue still gets me in the feels. 

Krzysztof Kieślowski's Three Colours is secretly a trilogy of movies about the loving, painstaking process of creation, specifically music. I'd never seen any of them until paternity leave (and a sleeping baby) gave me hours to binge long-neglected to-watch lists. In 1993's Blue, in particular, a composition mirrors the grief of Juliette Binoche in an exquisite performance. 

Tiny Desk concerts I produced for NPR Music in 2019: American Football (with a children’s choir!), Thou, Erin Rae, Carly Rae Jepsen (sort of), Jimmy Eat World and Mount Eerie (videos coming in 2020). 

There’s a gallery at Glenstone, a truly stunning museum experience, that’s literally just a room full of books, a sculpted wooden bench and a large window that looks out on the rolling hills of Maryland. I could spend hours there. 

The second season of KCRW's Lost Notes, hosted by Jessica Hopper, built episodes like albums, sequenced with eureka moments throughout. See: the story of a teenage Farsi New Wave sibling duo and a difficult and necessary reassessment of John Fahey through the women in his life.  

High Spirits (May 7, Atlas Brew Works) is such a force for good. Heavy metal singalongs about love, friendship and positivity. I feel like this band needs to tour with Sheer Mag to be fully appreciated by an unknowing audience. 

Has your baseball team ever won the pennant with the sleeping baby on your chest? So many silent screams of joy in our household as the Nats not only won the National League, but the whole dang World Series. I haven't lived in a city/state with a baseball team that's gone to the World Series since 1995. 

Circuit Des Yeux's Haley Fohr (Dec. 5, Hirshhorn) tuned her voice to feedback hum and the rest that followed felt like a wordless eulogy for 2019. I felt renewed by it. 

I can't think of a prettier song released in 2019 than "This Time Around" by Jessica Pratt. It is saudade whispered into the wind.

This was my Linda Ronstadt year. Heart Like a Wheel, Canciones de mi Padre, her records with the Stone Poneys — the Queen of LA, with a voice that both bursts out of and melts into dusk, softened the edges of long days with an equally adventurous and easygoing spirit.

🚙 Petrol Girls, Cut & Stitch: In 2019, it was crucial — life-affirming and -saving, even — to make your own noise. "This is the sound / It moves in our bodies / It passes through time / Brings what came before us," Petrol Girls' Ren Aldridge screamed at the top of a turbulent punk record filled with compassion. That boundless philosophy resonated with me this year — to listen and absorb more deeply, to excavate the traces of memory in music.

👽 Blood Incantation, Hidden History of the Human Race: Simultaneously exists in the gaping maw of death-metal tradition and the galaxy brain of its future. 

💾 Kali Malone, The Sacrificial Code: Seeks the solemnity of the drone in the pipe organ, but leans into the vulnerability pushed through the air.

🕹️ billy woods & Kenny Segal, Hiding Places:  An album-length self-excavation that crawls through moldy memories in a brutal poetry that is at times darkly funny but mostly wrestles with personal and societal truths that'll leave you touched, shook. 

📟 Holly Herndon, PROTO: One of our deepest thinkers went to the past to make music from the future. 

🚨 Rakta, Falha Comum: Creepazoid emanations from a subterranean plane.

🐣 Sunwatchers, Illegal Moves: Ecstatic protest music summoning the beauty and rage of Alice Coltrane, Sonny Sharrock, Rhys Chatham and Hawkwind. 

🏞 Bill Orcutt, Odds Against Tomorrow: The most engaging, radical, but surprisingly accessible solo guitar album of the year. Bill Orcutt's ragged-yet-tender guitar skronk gives shaggy texture to rapturous melodies.

🍕 Control Top, Covert Contracts: This hits some dance-punky Erase Errata sweet spots for me, but with the technical finesse of a power trio. 

🚟 Real Life Rock & Roll Band, Hollerin' the Spirit: Applies minimalist techniques to rumbling, dueling guitar histrionics with a reckless, but locked-in energy. Never woulda thunk American Football and Henry Flynt could hoedown together. 

🐠 Caroline Shaw & Attacca Quartet, Orange: Balances austere beauty with rumbling earth. Riveting music for string quartet. 

💥 Mdou Moctor, Ilana (The Creator): Where ZZ Top bombast, Black Sabbath riffs and Tuareg trance rhythms swirl into an acid-rock stomp. 

👑 Vagabon, Vagabon: Goes so many places, yet always returns home. 

🎭 JPEGMAFIA, All My Heroes Are Cornballs: A neon-freaked feast blasted in slow mo and fast forward all at once.

🌆 Denzel Curry, ZUU: Dude's a metal rapper without a metal band, but if he ever started one, I'm down 100 percent. 

💨 Whistling Arrow, Whistling Arrow: An avant UK supergroup of prepared guitar, violin, electronics and hypnotic percussion drinks deep of dark lagers and mossy earth.

🐸 101 Notes on Jazz: Things are getting hard around the boloney hole...

🐳 M. Sage, Catch a Blessing: Warm, fuzzy world-building from blocks of sound stretched and warped into a new nostalgia.

🚇 Mizmor, Cairn: Deliberate and patient in its annihilating pace; lumbering, yet regally melodic riffs echo into a chasm of feedback.

🌅 Takafumi Matsubara, Strange, Beautiful And Fast: Next-level grind from the Gridlink mastermind and friends. While No One Knows What the Dead Think picked up where Discordance Axis left off, Takafumi Matsubara shreds into the future.

🐎 American Football, LP3: A reunion that keeps on giving and growing. Impressionistic in its quietly bursting arrangements and attuned to the individual talents of its vocal guests, especially that stunning duet with Hayley Williams. 

🔋 v/a, Seitō: In the Beginning, Woman Was the Sun: This compilation does for modern Japanese women in experimental music what P.S.F.’s Tokyo Flashback comps did for the Japanese psychedelic scenes of yore. 

👗 Carly Rae Jepsen, Dedicated: Didn't hold together as much as I wanted, or play like E•MO•TION's late-night mixtape, but every time one of its singles popped up on a friend's playlist -- "Julien," "Want You in My Room," "The Sound" and especially the slow-burn synth-pop exhaustion of "Too Much" -- I'd think, "Carly Rae Jepsen is the Queen of the Song I Needed Right Now."

🌕 Rong, wormhat: Just bonkers. Boston's Rong channels the joyous chaos of Japanese punks Melt-Banana and the aggro skronk of Brainiac with a tad of Deerhoof's weirdo-pop hooks.

✊🏿 Sounds of Liberation, Sounds of Liberation / Unreleased Columbia University 1973: Free jazz and funk band deep in spiritual grooves. Killer performances all around, but such a trip to hear more from young vibraphonist Khan Jamal during his Drum Dance to the Motherland era. 

🐬 Great Grandpa, Four of Arrows: If Sixpence None the Richer made an emo record, but only had Return of the Frog Queen on the mood board. 

📳 Sarah Louise, Nighttime Birds and Morning Stars: One of my favorite guitarists right now. Digitally processes melodies and single notes in an electronic elation landing somewhere between Robert Fripp, Alice Coltrane and Terry Riley.

📮 Sarah Hennies, Reservoir 1: An immersive sound cycle in constant motion, a quiet rumble that slowly transforms in and out of a glorious clatter. 

👣 Psychedelic Speed Freaks, Psychedelic Speed Freaks: Munehiro Narita essentially picks up where High Rise left off, still plays the guitar like it's about to blow up. 

🍩 Town Portal, Of Violence: Most instrumental post/prog-rock puts me to sleep, but this Danish trio illustrates just how dynamic and sound-rich this music can be. 

🛀 Jim O'Rourke, steamroom 45: An electronic excavation from the deep abyss. The 37-minute "Sigaretstraat" is a master class in patience, dynamics and sublime dissonance.

🎀 Cristina Quesada, I Think I Heard a Rumor: Multi-lingual, ultra-chic dance-pop with super-smart synth arrangements. Think: Tiki drinks and mod dresses. 

⏹ John Luther Adams, Become Desert: Truly time-less music; as in, music without time. 

⏏ Julia Reidy, brace, brace: Late night, longform excursions that offer an alternate Blade Runner soundtrack with frenzied 12-string, fuzzy synth glossolalia and an Auto-Tuned bummer haze.

🚞 A Million Dollars, I Love Your Voice and I Love You: Weird and warped twee-pop that woulda headlined Silent Barn. 

📠 Priests, The Seduction of Kansas: Truth-telling and truth-seeking through a mangled disco haze and bleak New Wave romanticism. 

🏭 Werner Durand with Amelia Cuni and Victor Meertens, processions: Majestic drones capture an undulating wonder with enveloping somnolence.

🎳 Sheer Mag, A Distant Call: The denim-and-leather-jacket-wearing standard bearers of truly independent rock and roll double-downed on their sound, but opened their hearts a bit more. 

📒 Susan Alcorn / Joe McPhee / Ken Vandermark, Invitation to a Dream: Illuminates the flickering motions of exploration. 

😱 Serpent Column, Mirror in Darkness: Pitch-black metal chaos with forceful melodies twisted into the tableau. Honestly? Deathspell Omega but skramz.

🏅 Pernice Brothers, Spread the Feeling: Joe Pernice digs into his '80s record collection to return with some of his most delicately written, winsome guitar-pop in years and tons of one-liners: "Love is a shoeless charlatan, a silver-tongued huckster with a sadist’s lipless grin."

🍓 Kalie Schorr, Open Book: Whip-smart, hook-twanged country-pop raised on MTV2 pop-punk and Sheryl Crow. 

📀 Angel Olsen, All Mirrors: In a year where we lost Scott Walker, this felt like a torch passed from 1969. 

😪 Mount Eerie, Lost Wisdom pt. 2: Phil Elverum draws us in evermore, revisiting a beloved album, mode and collaborator (the remarkable Julie Doiron), and molding them into his ever-changing songwriting and circumstance. Contains the most tender couplet of the year, which I'll carry with me always: "If ever the bonfire that I carry around could warm you again / I will be out here in the weather for you glowing."

🙉 75 Dollar Bill, I Was Real: Serious hypno-grooves from these drone excavators. 

👢 Karen Marks, Cold Cafe: The early '80s artist behind the Sky Girl comp's broodiest track gets a few more songs of existential synth-pop and jangly post-punk. Just wanna put them on mixtapes for friends. 

🍻 Haunt, If Icarus Could Fly: Synthesizes an earnest, studied love for '80s heavy metal with tons of guitar harmonies and can-crushing anthems, yes, but also a ton of heart.

🍖 Bob Dylan, The Rolling Thunder Revue: The strangest, most mystical and wild Dylan persona in all of its face-painted glory. 

🌹 A Pregnant Light, Broken Play: Damian Master's endless creativity and shameless bravado coalesce into a rugged beauty. As always, riffs for days. 

🦄 Fire-Toolz, Field Whispers (Into the Crystal Palace): Clashes New Age synthscapes, clubby raves, jazz fusion and metal shrieks into an idiosyncratic master's pure creation.

🌇 Maria W Horn, Epistasis: Quiet, yet forceful acoustic elements are wrapped in the sinews of technology to blur composition. A stirring mix of icy string drones and minimalist piano. 

🐲 Soul Glo, The N**** in Me Is Me: Distills the rage and terror of living in America while being black with blunt force.

🍢 Mára, Here Behold Your Own: Snapshots of a time before parenthood rendered in garbled organ, ambient guitar loops and echoing lullabies. Felt this one deeply. 

🚙 The Go-Betweens, G Stands for Go-Betweens: The Go-Betweens Anthology - Volume 2: There's a live KCRW version of "Quiet Heart" that just absolutely destroys me. Deeply thankful for the presentation and preservation that's gone into these box sets. 

😈 Bat for Lashes, Lost Girls: A coming-of-age concept album about a teenage vampire gang that was somehow severely overlooked. Some of Natasha's most tender songwriting and a rich synth-pop world that'd make M83 jealous.

[oh-the-bliss]

tagged by @johnathot-seed ​, thank you! i tag everyone who wants to do this :)

a - age: Twenties 

b - birthplace: vienna

c - current time: 23:15

d - drink you last had: apple juice

e - easiest person to talk to: parents, best friends

f - favourite song: currently idonwannabeyouanymore by billie eilish

g - grossest memory: idk. falling into cow pie?

h - horror yes or horror no: NO

i - in love: not anymore

j - jealous of people: i’m not a jealous one 

l - love at first sight or should i walk by again: both

m - middle name: beatrice

n - number of siblings: one (1)

o - one wish: moving

p - person you last called: my dad 

q - question you’re always asked: “why are you like this?”

r - reading anything right now?: towards another light from greg bryk that my lovely friend @another-bryk-in-the-wall got me as a surprise 😭

s - song you last sang: i’m singing right now - black smoke rising by Greta van fleet. and before that i sang to Disco Inferno in the shower.

t - time you woke up: i had a day off, so i didn’t have to get up early 😌

u - underwear colour: Always black, you never know. i mean... what

v - vacation destination: does this mean Dream vacation? then australia

w - when was the last time you really laughed?: last night when @burgundy-aes and i made the most ridiculous internet quizes together. i cried! 

y - your favourite food: italian and chinese

z - zodiac sign: Cancer

[nadiineross]

Chlodine with kids!!!!!! Maybe Nadine’s little siblings I can imagine her having a huge family. Or Chloe having a secret son or daughter from her more wild days and Nadine not finding out for like years and being like !!!

imma do nadines family bc my thoughts on chlodine + kids are Complicated and also someone else wrote a fic abt chloe w/ a secret kid im waiting on an update !!! lots of e•mo•tions

this got rly long

Chloe Frazer is, without a doubt, an only child. Nadine had never assumed anything else and would’ve been very surprised if she learned otherwise, but as it stands, this is not the case. 

Nadine, on the other hand, has four siblings. She’s the oldest, having the responsibility of inheriting Shoreline and bearing the brunt of her father’s expectations. He wasn’t a bad father, all things considered. Sure, he had his faults like everyone does, but he never neglected her nor did he seek to pressure Nadine into a future with Shoreline. That was all on her and, upon realizing this, he had only tried to push her into it further, to support her. 

In the end, it didn’t really pan out, huh? 

No one in her family blamed her for the loss of Shoreline. In fact, they had all tried to pitch in when Nadine had truly hit rock bottom and did their best to make her feel better. The incessant phone calls and hugging, she accepted. Their money? She did not.

Now, two years after the fact, she finds that she’s much happier, lighter, in her new career path and her family seems to agree.

“Nadine!” her brother, Junior, hollers the moment she steps through the door. “You look great!”

He’s the second child, only two years younger than her at 30, and the one she is the closest to because of it.

She barely manages a greeting before she’s engulfed in a tight bear hug. Quickly, another weight is wrapped around her back and one of her legs is ensnared by a pair of smaller arms. Like moths to a light, her family.

The compulsory family reunion in their old family home in South Africa is something Nadine secretly looks forward to, though she would never say that aloud, lest she wants to be razzed to death by her siblings.

After Junior comes Mia, who turned 29 only last week (Nadine had flowers delivered and mailed her a beautiful bracelet she’d found snooping through old Greek ruins), and finally Grace, 24.

As it turns out, it’s Grace that barreled into her first. Behind her, her mother fusses with her hair and around her leg is Junior’s 6-year-old son, Blessing.

“Ma,” Nadine croaks out around a mouthful of Grace’s hair. “Leave me alone, I’m going to the barber next week.”

Her mother does not leave her alone. “You don’t call for three weeks and this is the first thing you say to me?”

Grace lets go, snickering at Nadine’s apprehension. Nadine glares.

After Junior and Mia get their turns hugging her, she ducks away from her mother’s grabbing, muttering a quick “love you!”, and scoops Blessing up into her arms. He instantly shrieks with glee, trying to claw up her arms and settle on her shoulders.

Junior’s wife, Vivienne, a plump Filipina with enough wit to beat Grace in an argument, presses a brief kiss to Nadine’s cheek as she passes by.

“Don’t mess with Auntie’s hair, boy,” she says, sternly. “Grandma will make you do the dishes.”

Blessing giggles, clearly unaware of what’s going on. Nadine rolls her eyes. “All right, all right. Where’s Rose?”

“She’s at a friend’s birthday party. It’s a sleepover. Apparently turning 10 is a really, really big deal.”

“2 months until you have to throw that party for her,” Nadine says with a laugh.

“Ugh, don’t remind me.”

It’s then that Mia cuts in, only pausing to poke Blessing on the nose, and stands directly in front of Nadine just to annoy her. “Viv, I need pregnancy advice. Is it normal having to pee this much? I hate it. This is why I didn’t drink enough water when I was in high school.”

Well, that’s her cue. She elbows Mia sharply in the back before hurrying into the kitchen where her mother and Junior are to avoid retaliation.

They’re preparing to set the table, so she makes to hand Blessing off to Junior except he does an impressive job of wrapping himself around her back like a sloth on a branch. Junior bellows out a laugh.

“He likes you more than me.”

Nadine pulls a face. “Ma likes you more than me, so it evens out.”

Nadine’s mother thwacks her over the head. “I don’t play favourites.” Grace whisks by, picking up the plates as she does. Her mother follows after her with the rest of the plates. “Never mind, Grace is my favourite.”

Junior makes an indignant sound from the back of his throat.

“Can—Can you take a picture?” Nadine asks, gently removing Blessing’s entire hand from her face. “I’d like to show my— Chloe.”

“Sure,” Junior says, raising an eyebrow. “Your Chloe?”

“Shut up,” she huffs.

Blessing chooses this exact moment to sling himself over her shoulder, making her yelp and grab onto his arms to steady him. He laughs, waving his fists in the air like he has won something.

Chloe will love that picture.

“Eish, what are you feeding him?”

Junior tucks his phone away and grins a boyish grin. “Love.” Nadine wrinkles her nose. “Viv learned how to make some kind of pasta and he’s obsessed with it. We have leftovers still in our fridge.”

He stops disjointedly, in a way that makes it clear he expects a reaction from Nadine.

She frowns. “Okay?”

“Where’s Chloe?”

“Australia, with her mum. She flies in on Sunday.”

Junior hums and pushes a salt shaker with a single finger, looking too nonchalant to actually be nonchalant. “You and Chloe are welcome to come over for pasta, if you want and if you’re still around next weekend.”

Nadine, jaded from years of being the oldest sibling, is instantly wary, narrowing her eyes at him. “What’s the catch?”

“There is no catch.”

“Liar.”

Junior huffs, plucking Blessing out of her arms and setting him onto the island. “Seriously. No catch.”

“Okay,” she says slowly, cautiously, “We’ll come over for dinner next Friday?”

“Great! Show up at 6:00.” He claps his hands together. “Reheat the pasta and have a glass of wine, on me. Rose needs help with math homework and Blessing likes to watch Kim Possible, we have DVDs. Bedtimes at 8:30; Blessing usually passes out earlier. We’ll be back midnight at the latest.”

“You said there was no catch!”

“Does spending time with your beloved niece and nephew really count as a ‘catch’?” he asks, snooty, with air quotes to top it all off.

Nadine sighs. “Yes, but we’ll be there.”

She loves family reunions, really. Especially the fact that it’s only compulsory once a year, barring Hanukkah.

Chloe has met her siblings and her mother before. Not during the family reunion due to unfortunate timing, but on separate occasions over the year and a half they’ve been working together. She has never met Rose or Blessing.

Junior and Viv like her enough to have a group chat with her (one that Nadine has tried to join, but had been ruthlessly denied entry by her partner after a sharp cackle), so she’s not surprised that the first thing Chloe says to her after catapulting herself into Nadine’s arms at the airport is: “Heard I’m a babysitter. Try not to crush on me, china.”

Nadine had laughed into her neck at that, made a quip about how she smelled like an aeroplane.

Now, they’re on Junior’s porch, seeing the happy couple off on their date night.

“What are your intentions with Viv?” Chloe jokes, nudging Junior with a conspiratorial wink. Viv snorts.

“Curfew’s eleven,” Nadine calls after them.

“They grow up so fast.”

“Ja.” Nadine smiles then, leaning against the door so Chloe can pass through first. “Ready?”

“To eat good food, drink, and watch 2 kids for a couple of hours? Not that hard, is it?”

Nadine bends to take off her shoes, about to reply with something smart, but Blessing comes pounding down the hallway, blowing right past Chloe and taking an impressive leap onto Nadine’s back. He snakes his arms around her neck and wiggles his legs until she stands.

Nadine gives Chloe a look.

“All right, maybe I misjudged.” Chloe leans closer in, curious, face startlingly close to Nadine’s. “Hey, I’m Chloe. You’re Blessing, right?”

Blessing squints, puckers his lips, then gives one decisive nod, chin digging into Nadine’s shoulder. “This is Auntie.”

Chloe’s face dissolves into an endeared beam. “I know her!”

Nadine tries very hard not to flush out of pure adoration. She’s not sure if it works because Chloe doesn’t mention it.

“Where’s your sister, B?”

“Here,” Rose says, skidding down the hallway in her socks. “Who’re you?”

Chloe holds out a hand which Rose takes and shakes enthusiastically. “Chloe. I work with your Auntie.”

When she turns, Nadine furrows her eyebrows, hands tightening imperceptibly under Blessing’s legs. She tilts her head when Nadine brushes by, suddenly feeling bereft.

Before Nadine can disappear into a room, Chloe stops her with a hand on her stomach.

“Don’t tell, but I think she has a crush on me,” Chloe stage whispers to Rose. “I told her not to.”

Rose’s eyes grow wider. “Do you like her back?”

Chloe stands then, smiling at Nadine brilliantly. “I do.”

This time, Nadine’s certain she’s blushing and judging by how Chloe’s started to leer at her, she must look redder than usual.

Before Rose can ask any more questions, Nadine hikes Blessing higher up and moves towards the end of the hallway.

“C’mon, Rose. Let’s watch some TV while Chloe heats dinner up,” she says, jerking her head towards the kitchen door for Chloe. “Your dad said you need help with math?”

Rose lets out a very loud and long groan at that.

After Nadine is directed to the collection of Kim Possible DVDs and sets it up, she sends Rose off to grab her homework. Then, she pries Blessing away from his Barbies and props him against one hip.

Chloe’s humming a tune and opening random drawers when Nadine finds her in the kitchen. She’s got an apron hanging from her neck, even though she’s literally just popping something into the microwave and opening a bottle.

Blessing reaches for the counter, so she sets him down. “Chloe, I’m hungry!”

Chloe spins and catches Nadine’s eye briefly. “Yes, yes,” she says, “give me a minute, love. Impatience runs in the family, I guess.”

Nadine chuckles, crossing the distance and tugging the loose ends of the apron. “You’re one to talk.”

“Oh, hush.” She leans back a little, into Nadine’s warmth.

She turns after a beat, corners of her mouth tipped up, and catches Nadine’s mouth in a kiss. It’s nice, for about two seconds, then Blessing starts drawing out an “eww” and smacking his palms on the table.

Chloe pulls away, eyes still half-lidded. “I was gonna say they were adorable, but…”

Nadine huffs a laugh and narrows her eyes at Blessing. “What are you complaining about?”

“Rose does that when mama kisses daddy,” he says matter-of-factly.

“Hm,” she says, “keep doing that, champ.”

Chloe barks out a laugh, lightly slapping Nadine’s arm. Nadine grabs her wrists, kissing her chastely before pulling away completely.

“The forks are behind you.”

“Thanks,” Chloe says, not moving and hauling her back in. Nadine looks unimpressed.

Blessing groans again.

“What does the apron say, soldier?” KISS THE COOK. That’s probably Junior’s. She grimaces at it with great disdain. “So?”

In response, Nadine untangles herself from Chloe and places Blessing into his usual spot at her hip.

“Ah, figures.”

Rose is waiting in the living room when they all return, pasta in hand; one bowl each for the kids and a big plate for Chloe and Nadine to share. Fewer dishes to do this way. Plus, Nadine only has one hand to spare, the other keeping Blessing from wriggling onto the floor.

After setting the bowls down, Chloe presses play on the first episode and puts the volume lower so Rose can concentrate.

Poised over the couch, Nadine cranes her neck to watch Blessing tuck his face into her back, holding on stubbornly.

”Off! Off, off, off.” After a moment, he grabs tighter onto her shoulders. “No?”

Blessing shakes his head. “No.”

“You asked for it.” She grabs onto his legs for safety and starts to hop in place—once, twice, three times. Blessing squeals in her ear. On the fourth time, she drops into a squat, so that his legs are on the couch and scrapes him off her back. “Time for dinner, B.”

He pouts, eyes wide. “Aw, boo.” It takes her a hot second to resist that. Atrocious.

She pushes the lime green bowl and matching plastic fork into his hands. “If you want to grow taller than your sister, you gotta eat up.”

When she looks over to Chloe, she’s on the floor next to Rose with her homework out on the coffee table some ways away from the couch. She’s watching Nadine, jaw cupped in her palm, with a soft look.

Nadine, self-conscious, looks away and scoots closer to Rose’s other side. “What?”

“Nothing,” Chloe says after a beat, bending closer to look at Rose’s paper. Almost immediately after, she touches Rose’s hand before she can write something down and quietly points out her mistake.

They get through two episodes in relative peace before Blessing decides that he’s done with his dinner and bonks the bottom of the bowl lightly on Nadine’s head. Chloe stifles a laugh at Nadine’s exaggerated outrage.

She takes the bowl from Blessing, towering over him as he giggles madly into a pillow.

“This is my shield,” he declares.

Nadine crosses her arms. “That’s not fair. I don’t have a sword.”

“Victory!”

Chloe doesn’t try hiding her delight this time.

It’s only another Kim Possible episode later that Blessing calms down enough to sit still on the couch. Nadine scrapes his leftovers onto their shared plate.

Rose has picked her entire bowl clean and has been sipping at a glass of milk Chloe had gotten for her when Nadine had been busy entertaining Blessing. When Nadine offers her a second serving, she just shakes her head, brows furrowed at the question on her paper.

Finally, she turns her attention to Chloe who is, funnily enough, engrossed with the Kim Possible episode playing.

She jerks her head up when Nadine places her hand on her back, startled.

“Go eat on the couch, I’ll watch Rose.” She promptly shoves the plate into Chloe’s hands and plops down onto the ground, leaving no room for argument.

“Last one,” Rose says, tapping her pencil on the table.

Nadine leans over her arm to look at the paper. “Do you need any help?”

“Nope,” she replies, popping the p. She scribbles something down, then crosses it out. “Auntie?”

“Ja?”

“I think Chloe likes you,” she whispers, glancing back at Chloe who’s using Blessing’s head as an armrest while he squirms under her, mouth open in his best attempt at a roar.

Nadine tries not to smile, turning back to Rose. She fails. “You mean like-like?”

Rose puts her pencil down and scowls at her. “I’m not 8. I can say love.”

“You’re 9.”

Rose scoffs, pointedly going back to her homework.

Nadine feels nervous all of a sudden, and bizarrely, embarrassed. She’s 32, Chloe 35, and they have yet to say the L-word. Not that she can presume to know how Chloe feels, but she knows how she feels.

They’ve been officially together just over a year now. The months before it, they had spent sleeping with each other sporadically when they met up for a job. Back then, Nadine knew how she felt too. Her feelings hadn’t been quite as deep as they were now — maybe fondness. She felt that whatever they had, if they both allowed it, would last and for a very long time.

A year, they’ve lasted so far. She knows all the little things now. Chloe’s morning routine, her weird figures of speech, which side she sleeps on. She knows the important things and the unimportant things that Nadine cherishes equally to the former.

They have lasted and strengthened, taking Nadine’s feelings lightyears past simple fondness. She wonders sometimes, considering the trajectory, if she can find the words to describe it if her feelings stretched past love. For now, that word will do.

She loves Chloe, this she has known for months. Chloe certainly likes her in a way that extends past the shallow.

She drags a hand down her forehead. It’s one thing to think it, another to confront it head-on, but Nadine Ross has never been a coward. Cautious, yes, but not cowardly.

She puts her chin on the table, watching the top of Rose’s pencil wave in the air as she writes.

“I like Chloe too,” Nadine says, voice low because if Chloe overheard, she would never hear the end of it.

Rose finishes what she’s written with a flourish, then copies Nadine, putting her chin on the table. “Only like?”

“More than,” Nadine replies, pausing to gather her courage. Then, scandalously: “Love.”

“Ooh, Auntie,” Rose teases, mocking, in a whiny tone that you’d expect from a pre-teen boy sneering “cooties!”

“I thought you were mature,” says Nadine, reaching out to poke Rose’s cheek.

Rose turns her nose up. “I’m only 9.”

Nadine laughs. Rose is so obviously Junior and Viv’s child, she can’t help the sudden urge to hug her.

She gets away with swinging Rose into the air and carrying her over her shoulder, running twice around the room as she laughs and lets Nadine do this without complaint. Afterwards, they collapse onto the couch where Chloe’s got Blessing in her lap, the both of them watching the screen intently.

Rose gets comfortable, settled between Chloe and Nadine, while Nadine tries to sneak pictures of them all together.

She gets away with two before Chloe cuts away from Ron Stoppable in his tree house and looks directly at the camera. She gives Nadine a winning grin, tightening her arms around Blessing’s middle.

By 8:30, Blessing’s dozing off on Chloe’s sternum, snoring lightly. Similarly, Rose is nodding off against Nadine’s arm.

Sharing a look, they both get up, carrying a Ross in their arms. Nadine shushes Rose when she jolts awake, instinctively rocking on the balls of her feet in an attempt to get Rose to fall back asleep.

They go up the stairs to another hallway, Nadine leading Chloe to a door that has the letter R painted on it in baby blue. She sets Rose down in her bed, pulling the blanket over her shoulders and turning the A/C off in case it gets colder at night.

“The night light,” Chloe whispers. Nadine flips it on before ushering Chloe out, towards the door with B painted in mauve.

Chloe does the motions: tucking Blessing in, checking the A/C, and finding the night light.

Nadine leans against the doorframe, waiting for her to finish with the curtains. It’s weird, seeing Chloe like this. Not in a bad way, no. Nadine finds that she can watch Chloe do this for hours, fascinated.

There’s a warmth blossoming in her chest, the kind she feels when she’s come home for the first time in a while for Hanukkah and her family is gathered around the room, closer together because it’s cold outside.

Nadine is not entirely sure what she’s supposed to do with this.

In the end, Chloe finishes up and interrupts her introspection, shooing her away so she can close the door. As is natural by now, Chloe grabs her hand and gives it a pull towards the stairs. Nadine grips back before she can drop her hand away.

They don’t speak until they’re back in the living room, Kim Possible still playing on low volume. They won’t leave until Junior and Viv get back, in case the kids wake up again.

Out of nowhere, Chloe makes a thoughtful noise after easing onto the couch with a sigh.

Nadine examines her face, eyebrows hiking up when Chloe’s eyes flick to meet hers and discovers that they are arrestingly determined.

She uses her free hand to pull Nadine in for a languid kiss. It’s fairly innocent for them, so Nadine’s unsurprised when Chloe settles back into the couch after they part, focused on the TV.

“Liefie,” she says, waiting for Chloe to look over. “I think I like the babysitter.”

Chloe chuckles, pressing into Nadine’s side. “That’s convenient. I think I like the babysitter, too.”

It’s quiet then. Nadine’s content like this.

They get through three and a half episodes of Kim Possible before Chloe makes a really undignified noise at something that happens on screen and Nadine has to hide a laugh behind a cough. Chloe catches it and scowls at her.

“Hey now, Ross, that wasn’t—”

“Calm down, I won’t tell anyone that you’re a die hard Kim Possible fan.”

Chloe harrumphs, sprawling onto Nadine more so that she’s half on top of her.

Nadine winds her arm around Chloe’s waist and turns so her nose brushes Chloe’s cheek.

“Liefie,” she says again.

“Mhm,” Chloe replies distractedly.

“I love you.”

Chloe stiffens, and in quick succession, relaxes, tenses, and relaxes again.

She turns her head, swaying back so she can see Nadine’s face properly. Then, she smiles, eyes wrinkled at the corners and all, and says, “I love you too.”

Nadine can’t help but kiss her. This one is longer, more earnest.

And Chloe pulls away, sucking in a breath. “We should pick this up when we go back to the apartment.”

“Self-control? For once?” Nadine says against her jaw.

“I want to watch my favourite show: Kim Possible,” Chloe replies, voice light with mirth. “You’re just here for the commercial breaks.”

“It’s a DVD.”

Chloe blindly pats her face, mhms absentmindedly, and accepts a kiss to her cheek.

Nadine loves her for it.

[bisteverogers-archive]

rules: answer the questions & tag ten people you want to get to know better. (i was tagged by @beautifullybarnes thanks, cass 🌸) 

tagging @capntony, @smokingwithalaska, @itsjustanotherblogger, @winterspider, @stvebvckys, @nomadbucky, @january-jones, @robbstark, @wlwbrunnhilde, and @defrostedbuck, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to!

a) age: 23 b) birthplace: quezon city  c) current time: 13.30pm d) drink you last had: water e) easiest person to talk to: depends on what we’re talking about LOL probably my friends jess or tim or kristen, tho f) favorite songs (currently): carly rae jepsen, ‘e•mo•tion’; vince staples & yugen blakrok, ‘opps’; keljet ft. ayer, ‘if it’s not you’; james reid ft. kiana valenciano, ‘mean 2 u’; made in heights, ‘drexler’ g) grossest memory: OK SO LIKE i saw this question while i was reading cass’s answers and i??? genuinely can’t think of one?? although i guess we can go with when i uhhhh, threw up in a las vegas hotel bathroom on my 21st birthday: a timeless, classic coming-of-age story in america h) horror yes or horror no: mmm hard no, especially if it’s a filipino horror movie, probably because the superstitions/ghost stories/etc are just that much more real to me. i watched matakot ka sa karma a long, long time ago and it’s not even the best scary movie out there by far (or a good movie lmao), but even thinking about it makes me nervous i) in love? nah j) jealous of people: sometimes! i’ve been trying recently to spin it more positively into motivation for myself, tho l) love at first sight or should i walk by again? i’m aro-spec, you might be walking a while tbh m) middle name? patricia n) number of siblings: none! i’m an only child but i’m close to my cousins o) one wish: uhhh that the grad programme i’ll eventually apply for will be a good fit for me  p) person you called last: my dad q) questions you’re always asked: ‘where are you going for grad school?’ or ‘what did you major in again?’ (lol bye) r) reason to smile: good music + good weather, my cousin’s getting married next week and i’m going to georgia for the first time, i’m going home to boston in a month to see one of my very best friends for the first time in over a year 💗 s) song you last sang: børns, ‘electric love’ t) time you woke up: around 11.30? u) underwear color: black v) vacation destination: going to savannah + boston in the next two months, planning philly + chicago some time this year?? the ideal tho is madrid so i can get lost in the museums w) worst habit: i bite my lips a lot :/ x) x-rays: yeah, i’ve had them taken y) your favorite food: oh wow uhh, mostly any filipino food is a go + i love japanese food z) zodiac sign: sagittarius