#shutanic temple answers

[shutanictemple]

just passing by to wish a happy shuhite sunday to all the members of the temple :)

Thank you, @crowfully

Happy Shuhite Sunday to all Bildites and Bilievers of the Unholy Not-A-Church of the Shutanic Temple!

All Hail Bildaddy!

Gamen.

[bil-daddy]

bildaddy gives everyone else ox ribs but has anyone offered bildaddy any? (platonic)

Once yeah. Can't find the post now though. And if anybody saw me crying cause I was so touched, no you didn't. I'm not crying now, either. I've just got something (platonic) in my eye.

[shutanictemple]

Is this a cult???????

What makes you think like that? We are just a group of people who obey the great leader Bildad the Shuhite and are ready to give donations and accept everything he says as pure truth) We have nothing in common with cult!

666th Scrivener @lady-without-name

(Ps: All sarcasm aside, we are not a cult )

[shutanictemple]

Hello,

I would like to donate these goats to the Shutanic Temple

🐐🐐🐐

In Bildad we trust,

Mossy x

Thank you for your generous donation to the Not-A-Church of the Shutanic Temple, @ineffablemossy. Your donation will help support our mission to provide shoes, babies, and ox ribs to all those in need.

You have been automatically subscribed to our mailing list, and will receive a daily letter with a picture of wide-eyed sad kid (goat), guilting you to donate again,

along with a free-but-useless gift of address label stickers.

You'll throw out immediately, of course, or stick in a drawer somewhere and forget about them. Either way, they won't be there the one time you actually do need them.

Then, once you don't need them anymore, the batch will show up in the mail. Doesn't matter if you never donate again. Even after you die, your children and their children and their children's children will still be receiving address labels from the Shutanic Temple until the end of time (and perhaps after, too) as a thank you for donating.

We look forward to your next donation.

[shutanictemple]

I volunteer Pan as tribute.

DO NOT LOOK UP PAN STATUE WHATEVER YOU DO TnT

Thank you so much for this generous offer! Unfortunately, I'm too curious not to Google it... Okay... so, I'm not sure what to do with Pan so i just toss it to @loretta-dont-you-oppress-me ) Would you deal with it for me please?

666th Scrivener @lady-without-name.

[shutanictemple]

Hello Shutanic Temple Staff do you have a library and if so can i apply for the position of librarian

Hi 666th Scrivener here) Of course we do! @mrazfellco is huge fan of books so @bil-daddy. has a library in his temple! Also he (mrazfellco) is the one who managing all books and stuff in there but I'm sure he would love to get assistant! So if he confirm it, you would be honorary 666th librarian of Shutanic Temple!

Gamen!

666th Scrivener lady-without-name

[shutanictemple]

I've realised I've never donated to the shutanic temple before, though I've been following for a while so I humbly donate to thee:

Two goats from the modest flowering fields of google

And an Amazon goat

Thank you for your generous donation of three goats, @theinsanelycoolconnormurphey. Please accept these useless useful address label stickers as a token of our gratitude.

Along with this black and white photograph of a sad kid (goat) to guilt encourage you to donate again.

[shutanictemple]

Dear Priests (gender neutral) of the Shutanic Temple, please find herein my regular donation to the cause.

Although this week I do not have any goats to donate, I did find this particularly Satanic looking sheep that I thought you might appreciate. (The breed is called Jacob, appropriately biblical)

All hail Bildad!

The Shutanic Temple thanks you for the generous donation of this incredibly horny sheep. The herd will doubtless appreciate this impressive endowment.

As a token of our gratitude, here are some more address label stickers, as we are sure you have already used every single one from the previous sheet you received the last time you donated.

In addition, please accept this black and white photo of a sad lamb to guilt encourage you to donate again.

[shutanictemple]

I humbly submit from the coffers of my household a tribute of geckos and a curly eared goat:

Thank you for your generous donations, @randomfandom2387.

We have named the goat with the lovely long ears Rapunzel and she (gn) has been added to the @shutanictemple herd. The geckos are in our newly established reptile house, made and run by Jemimah.

As a show of gratitude, please accept these useless useful address label stickers.

As well as a black and white photo of a sad lizard to guilt encourage you to donate again.

[shutanictemple]

For Shuhite Sunday, I wold like to donate a puddle(cat) to the cause

Thank you for your generous donation of one(1) puddle (cat), @aroaceblackhole. Please accept these useless useful address label stickers as a show of our gratitude, since you certainly must have already used all of the ones we provided before.

As well as this black and white photograph of a sad baby cat (kitten) to guilt encourage you to donate again in the future.

Gamen (platonic)

[shutanictemple]

I'd like to make a donation of one (1) bebe(cat[suspicious])

Thank you for your generous donation one (1) bebe(cat[suspicious]) to the Shutanic Temple. (This may be the first donation of a cat we have received--@loretta-dont-you-oppress-me, please confirm.)

As a show of our gratitude, please accept these useless useful address label stickers,

along with this black-and-white photo of a sad kitten

to guilt encourage you to donate again in the future. Perhaps additional cats to keep your original donation company?

[shutanictemple]

Dear Mr. The Shuite, please accept this humble submission to the Activity Book for Kids (human):

Accepted.

[shutanictemple]

I have donated my services but I would also like to donate a few of these

Welcome back, @mrazfellco. @bil-daddy thoroughly enjoyed your services and your body last night. It's impressive that you are up and walking around already. Bildaddy is still a bit sore (positive) and hasn't been able to get out of bed yet.

Thank you for this additional generous donation of three goats. Here are you address label stickers, whether you want them or not.

Also, please hold this goat for us, as it needs to be in the arms of an angel (Aziraphale).

[shutanictemple]

Hail Bildaddy,

I offer thee my 12 year old sisters drawing of farmer Sepp and his goat whoms name I have forgotten (feel free to name them). She told me that in her very deep and moving story they sometimes do swap heads.

She also made a video of one of our actual goats, but i can not send it as an ask here (it is a very moving slideshow)

Blessed be the shoes, blessed be the goats and blessed be the angel in the corner eating beef like a starving lesbian.

Thank you for your generous donation to the Not-A-Church of the Shutanic Temple. Some further clarification is needed before we can process your donation.

Is the human farmer Sepp part of the donation? Or just the goat whom you forgotten the name of?

Also, we would very much like to see them swap heads. Please post a picture, along with the moving slide show of your goats, and tag us.

In the meantime, please suffer enjoy these address label stickers and heartstring-pulling photograph of a sad kid (baby goat).

(PS: if the angel you were referring to is Aziraphale, he was eating ox ribs like a starving lesbian, not beef)

[shutanictemple]

Hello, i would love to donate some kids (little humans) and goats.

they are very good kids (humans and goats), I hope my donation is accepted, I am an avid follower of this temple🐐🐐🐐

(you are not supposed to know where I got them, but I hope they are welcome)

Due to recent legislation regarding human trafficking, the Unholy Not-A-Church of the Shutanic Temple can no longer accept kids (human) as donations. However, we still accept kids (goats), and we thank you for your generous donation of three kids (goats).

Please return the three kids (human) to their parents or guardians. If they do not have parents or guardians, @loretta-dont-you-oppress-me may be willing to adopt them.

As a show of our gratitude for the kids (goats), please accept these address label stickers.

and this black and white photo of a sad kid (goat) to encourage you to donate more kids (goats--not humans) in the future.

[shutanictemple]

I feel that as the soul responsibility for originally asking how to donate (for a friend 👀👀👀👀) it is about time that I make my own donation

In Bildaddy we trust

Thank you for prompting us to incorporate the Shutanic Temple as a nonprofit so we could accept donations, including your generous donation of two kids (goats).

As a token of our gratitude, please accept these useless useful address label stickers.

Along with a black-and-white photograph of a sad baby goat, which will doubtless guilt encourage you to make further donations.

We look forward to receiving your friend's donation as well.