#shut up lidia

[theostrophywife]

lidia cervos taking no shit from a man even if that man is the crown prince of the valbaran fae

[alexanderpearce]

of course the 'racially aggravated' harassment sam kerr did was against a white cop of course they didnt reveal the cop was white for ages of course it was just her saying "stupid white bastard" and of course it was spun to look like something else

[taegularities]

i was listening to my jungkook playlist because i'm a bit of a sad mess... and let me tell you... daylight from the one and only taylor swift is such a cmi song 😭

a sad mess is right.. wdym it hasn't been 18 months already :') daylight really.. ugh. summarises these two bc life was a shit show, but it's been lighting up for them lately.. gives the same energy as oc always talking about how jk's been changing dull greys to vibrant rainbows :( also jk never ever lying to her and being 100% honest and never ever wanting to let go </3

and since we're here.. i was listening to "the only exception" a few days ago and had to fight for my life to not cry on the subway like!!

accepting loneliness and hurt and never opening up bc nothing was worth the risk until.. they found each other :( hold me i can't

[andorerso]

writing a modern au and I’m debating whether I want to keep Kerri as Kerri or spell it as Carrie instead... idk Kassa and Kerri sounds good, but if I’m using Cassian, Cassian and Carrie just looks better? (especially because I want them to be twins in this one)

or I’m probably just overthinking 😂

[divinerivals]

Imagine if Bryce left the portal open to Prythian, and she took Az and Nesta clubbing. Introduced Az to the frat pack, let him smoke mirthroot, and Ruhn showed him his music collection. Ruhn, after realizing he's pretty cool, apologizes for when Bryce introduced them, and he called him a fae asshole and warning him if he ever tries to threaten Bryce again.

Cassian also joins. There's no way in hell Az and Nesta are going to another world. He and Hunt are stupid awkward at first. Then he discovers Sunball. They never shut up. Also heavy on the clubbing with Az. Cassian makes sure to go see Randall as well. They talk war. Cassian discovered shooting ranges, and it's the best thing. Az meets Lidia, and they talk about spywork when he hears her past he's extremely moved by it. Ruhn and Lidia are his favorite people out of the new crowd.

Then we have Nesta who enjoys the dancing, but Bryce brings her to the dance studio. Introduces her to Juniper, and they do dance classes together and Nesta absolutely thrives and loves it. Bryce is also showing Nesta trashy TV. If Nesta doesn't see Ember, she asks to see her. Nesta always makes sure she has Ember time when she comes to Lunathion. Ember learns her birthday and gets her gifts and makes her things. She does the same thing for Solstice. When Nesta meets Lidia, they bond traumatic pasts and people judging them. Nesta feels like she found a true companion in her, and Nesta introduces her to smutty books.

Of course, eventually, Bryce and Ember and Randall meet the Feyre, Nyx, Elain, Lucien, Gwyn, and Emerie

[psychee92]

How Azriel/Elain in the Bonus POV mirror Ruhn/Lidia in HOFAS | Spoilers

I haven't posted anything in years, but the release of HOFAS—and all the crumbs we've gotten, everything we've learned that will directly impact future ACOTAR events—brought me back.

I might post more in the upcoming weeks, but wanted to first share something with my Elriels because I'm tired of the narrative being spun about Azriel's Bonus POV.

Beware: HOFAS spoilers under the cut

This is a scene between Ruhn and Lidia. It reminded me a lot of what happens between Azriel and Elain in his bonus POV, including how they react to each other.

He took one more step, and he could see her trembling. With fear or restraint, he had no idea. “Lidia,” he murmured, in front of her at last, and she closed her eyes, the pulse in her throat fluttering. Her scent shifted—like flowers unfurling under the morning sun. That scent was pure arousal. His cock tightened painfully.

vs.

Azriel's fingers lingered at her nape, atop the first knob of her spine. Slowly, Elain pivoted into his touch. Until his palm lay flat against her neck. 

Azriel's cock strained behind his pants, aching so fiercely he could hardly think. He prayed she didn't peer down. Prayed she didn't understand the shift in his scent. 

And

He didn’t care that they were in the middle of a hallway with his awful cousins running amok. He slid a hand onto her waist, nearly groaning at the steep curve, the way it fit his hand perfectly.

vs.

Wrong -- it was so wrong.  

He didn't care.

He nearly groaned with relief and need as he lowered his head toward hers. 

And

She kept her eyes closed, her pulse still flickering. So he took his other hand and tilted her head to the side. Leaned down and brushed his mouth over that fluttering spot.

Her breathing hitched, and his eyes nearly rolled back in his head. She tasted … fuck. He needed more. His teeth grazed the soft skin of her throat, and his tongue skimmed along the space just under her ear. His cock throbbed in answer.

vs.

Azriel's hand slid up her neck, burying in her thick hair. Tilting her face the way he wanted it. Elain's mouth parted slightly, her eyes scanning his before fluttering shut.  

Her arousal drifted up to him, and his eyes nearly rolled back in his head at the sweet scent. He'd beg on his knees for a chance to taste it. But Azriel just stroked her neck again.  

And

Her body loosened, pliant in his hands, and her head tipped a little further to the side. An invitation. He licked up the column of her throat, hand drifting from her waist down to her ass—

vs.

"Yes," he said, his thumb sweeping in long strokes along the side of her throat. 

Elain shuddered, drifting closer. So close one deep breath would brush her breasts against his chest.

Offer and permission.

And

She stiffened. Pulled away.

He stood there like a fucking moron, panting slightly, cock fully hard and straining against his pants, and she just … stared at him. Wide-eyed.

“I …” He had no idea what to say. What to do.

vs.

Rhys vanished, and Azriel was left standing before Elain, who still awaited his kiss. His stomach twisted as he pulled his hand from her hair  and stepped back. Forced himself to say, "This was a mistake.”

She opened her eyes, hurt and confusion warring there before she whispered, "I’m sorry."

“You don't -- Don't apologize,” he managed to say. "Never apologize. It's I who should…”

And

“Good night,” he rasped, and turned to his own room before he could make a greater fool of himself.

She didn’t stop him.

vs.

He shook his head, unable to stand the bleakness he'd brought to her expression. "Goodnight.”

Azriel winnowed into shadows before she could say anything

And the part that caught my attention the most:

His head swam. This female had so much blood on her hands, yet—

vs.

[...] that he knew she had no idea that he had done unspeakable things that sullied his hands far beyond their scars. 

The funny thing is, the Ruhn and Lidia interaction is VERY similar to the Nesta/Cassian interaction in Cassian's bonus POV—AND an interaction between Rowan and Aelin. And yet, some still refuse to see what's right in front of them.

Either way, HOFAS has been amazing so far, and I cannot wait to see what the future will hold.

[throneofsapphics]

loyal friends

poly!Ruhnlidia x Reader

Summary: “You look so pretty on your knees,” “At least I didn’t get arrested,” and “You look so good with my hand around your neck” with Ruhn and Lidia. 

Warnings: references to drinking/intoxication, sexual content, oral (f!receiving) minors dni

A/N: for this! I'm so obsessed with them.

You slipped through the door, shutting it quietly behind you, trying to hide your heavy breaths.  Somehow, you’d managed to avoid whoever was on patrol, but it was a close thing. Your heels were long gone, discarded behind some dumpster or another. It had taken you an hour longer than it should’ve to get home, covering your tracks as best as you could. 

Vandalizing hadn’t been on the agenda for the evening, but when that asshole insulted your friend it was all too easy for the three of you to find their home, and leave a nice little message behind. 

A tang of guilt hit you. Not for the sweet revenge, but for leaving them behind. They’d told you to run after you’d figured out you were caught. Sure, you’d all disguised yourselves from the camera’s, but the world knew who your mates were and how much of a shit storm it would cause if you had been caught in the act. Lidia and Ruhn were out late tonight, but your alcohol hazed mind couldn’t remember exactly what they were doing. Work, probably. 

Hot water washed the grime away, aided by furious scrubbing. After washing your hair, twice, you slipped into comfy clothes, fully prepared to spend the rest of your night on the couch, letting a mindless reality tv show calm your still thundering heart. 

Turning the volume up to an obnoxious level, your phone slipped from your hand. Cursing, you tried to shove it closer to you with your foot - only succeeding in sending it under the couch. Groaning, you slid off, kneeling in front of it - ass up in the air, arm reaching blindly to try and sweep it out. 

“You should be more aware of your surroundings,” a faintly amused female voice called. A familiar one. 

You cursed violently, you hadn’t even heard the door open, probably couldn’t hear over the noise. Noise that was now gone with a click of the remote. You slid back, shuffling yourself out and sat on your heels. 

First, you saw Ruhn’s boots, then snapped your head up to see him - hand outstretched, looking rather severe. 

“What is it?” you asked, placing your hand in his. He didn’t move. 

“Shame,” he muttered. “You look so pretty on your knees,” and tugged you up to your feet, his other hand gripping your shoulder to balance you. A shiver ran down your spine, his words making specific nerves in your body stand on end, but you’d save those for later - in case an apology was needed. 

“What is it?” You repeated, looking past him to Lidia. Her lips curved into a smile, but she jerked her chin towards Ruhn. 

“Two of your friends,” he started and your stomach dropped, “are currently in holding cells.” 

“What happened?” You tried to keep your voice from wavering. 

“There’s currently a giant dick painted on the home of a very wealthy investor,” a touch of amusement entered his voice, “and said investor is howling about a third ‘criminal’ escaping, demanding they’re brought in at once.” 

It was obvious both Ruhn and Lidia knew the identity of said criminal. 

“And do you have any suspects?” 

“Whoever it is, they’re good at hiding,” Lidia said, “almost like they know exactly how to avoid the camera’s.” 

“Good for them,” you shrugged. Ruhn’s hand from your shoulder, up the side of your neck, thumb brushing over your cheekbone, before dropping back to his side, his other hand releasing yours as well. You flopped back on the couch, phone forgotten for the meantime.

“I should take you in myself,” he glared at you half-heartedly. There was a hint of pride in his eyes. 

“With what evidence?” 

“At least tell me what he did,” Ruhn countered. 

“I wasn’t there,” you emphasized, ignoring his eye roll, “but theoretically, he could have said some very rude things about a friend of mine. Looks like the type.” 

“This asshole isn’t going to let it go.” 

“Tell him he’s hallucinating,” you offered, giving him your best grin. Lidia let out a soft laugh, golden hair falling over her shoulder. “At least I didn’t get arrested,” you threw as much honeyed innocence as you could into your voice, “that would’ve been a bigger mess. Theoretically”

He shrugged noncommittally, but he knew you were right. “You have some loyal friends.” 

“I wasn’t there, remember?”

He groaned, but you noticed some of the tension left his shoulders, and he collapsed back on the couch, arm hanging over the side, legs spread wide. His fingers played with his lip ring. You remembered what that lip ring could do, a shot of arousal running through your core. 

“Really?” Violet-blue eyes danced, mouth curving into a smirk, hand falling to rest on his thigh. 

“I can’t help it,” you shrugged. 

His eyes traced over your shoulder, but before you could follow there was heat behind you, Lidia’s body pressing into yours, one hand on your stomach, pressing you back against her, the other resting delicately around your neck. 

“You look so good with my hand around your neck,” her lips grazed over your ear, words soft and breathy. 

A slow breath, eyes closed, head tilted back, resting against her shoulder, pulse thrumming  against her fingers, her other hand trailing along your waist band, barely dipping into the skin below. 

“Please,” you breathed, and she chuckled. 

“Should we give him a show?” 

“Yes,” Ruhn answered for you, “absolutely.” 

Lidia’s hands dragged up your stomach, nails scratching lightly, taking your shirt with her. Each touch felt imbued with flame, the softness of her lips against your neck making your breath catch, the small whimpers involuntary. 

“Naughty,” Ruhn’s voice interrupted as your arms raised, letting Lidia toss the shirt over. You were bare beneath, as always at this time of night. You rolled your eyes, but twisted, catching Lidia in a kiss. 

Teeth nipped at your bottom lip, tongue swiping against to ask for entrance. 

Parted lips, heavy breaths, hands winding in hair, the world forgotten, you leaned into her, let yourself be fully embraced in her presence and all encompassing aura.

It wasn’t long before Ruhn gave up on his show, deciding to take a more active role. You chuckled as he pressed against your back, fingers sliding down the rest of the fabric covering your bottom half. 

Jeans rough against your bare skin, shadow laced fingers cooling the heated parts of your body, moans grew louder as they worked you in tandem. 

“Too. Many. Clothes,” you managed to force the words out, regretfully breaking your lips away from hers. 

“You’re naked, love,” she teased. 

You tugged at her shirt in response. Her eyes rolled, but she first pulled you - ignoring Ruhn’s discontented grunt, before flipping you over her shoulder in one smooth movement. You squeaked as she carted you off towards the bedroom. 

There, she finally let you tear the rest of her clothes off. Not literally, but they did fly across the room, Ruhn laughing as her shirt hit him in the face. 

“Yours off too,” you scowled at him. 

“Someone’s bossy today,” he tutted, but obliged.

“Have I told you how beautiful you are?” You commented as he undressed, examining the tattoos you already had memorized. 

“Yesterday.” 

Lidia huffed, pushing you back. “My patience is running out.” 

Her head found its way between your legs, bliss following. Each kitten lick, the finger slipping inside, the spot she pressed against was all perfection. 

You barely registered Ruhn behind you, your back against his chest, his fingers toyed with your nipples, focused on the goddess before you - golden hair falling over her shoulders, eyes filled with wicked triumph. 

[julemmaes]

Always Been You

Nesta Archeron x Cassian, ~2.5k words

a/n: I saw a reel of a baby and this was born, it's trash but I love them, so enjoy!

"Sweetheart, do you know where my sweater is?! The black one?"

Cassian was rummaging through his wardrobe in desperate need of something heavy to wear in the frigid winter Velaris was hitting them with.

Nesta's robotic voice came from the speaker of his phone, hidden somewhere between his bed sheets. "Uh, might be here, actually."

Here, as in her place. On the other side of the city. More than half an hour from his flat.

He groaned, bending his head forward and halting his hunt.

"Care to tell me why yet another piece of clothing of mine is at yours?"

Nesta chuckled, rejoicing in his despair. He glared at the phone, thankful that his best friend couldn't see him and level him with an equally nasty look.

Her words came muffled this time, more distant, and Cassian knew he'd put him on speaker.

"Not my fault this time. You used it to wrap Little Miss Sunshine up," he couldn't help the smile at the nickname he used to call her daughter. "You claimed she was gonna be too cold on the oh so long way from your car to the door."

"Sounds like something I would do," he muttered to himself, a dopey grin on his lips still. He loved that little nug of happiness that was Nesta's daughter. He loved her as if she were his own.

He shook his head, focusing on the date ahead, and put on another sweater, of a light brown colour he despised, and shook out his duvet, fishing for the phone.

Turning off the speaker, he put it to his ear, "You think I could pass by after the pub?"

Nesta only hummed, seeming distracted.

A few beat of silence, "What is the girl's name again?"

Cassian clenched his jaw, pondering whether he should lie or not, and knowing full well that if he gave Nesta too much information she would stalk the poor lady till sunrise.

"Her name is Anne," he lied.

"Liar," she scoffed. Then she grunted, "Whatever, keep your secrets. But don't come crying to me when you'll find out she has a secret dark past as a pig slaughterer."

Cassian laughed, "You're so dramatic."

"And you love it." She couldn't even begin to understand just how true those words were. "Now leave me alone before you're late to the party."

Nesta didn't give him the time to say goodbye that she'd hung up.

***

Slamming the door and closing himself shut in his precious, silent car, Cassian finally got to open his texts app and check what Nesta had sent him mere minutes before.

The date hadn't gone terribly, but Lidia was not his type. And he wasn't hers.

That had been starkly clear after the first fifteen minutes they'd spent talking about a new friend of hers, a certain Ruhn that she'd been crushing on for a while now.

He was her type. He and him only.

She had apologised, and Cassian had laughed, confessing that he had been forced into this date by his brothers, who were so over seeing him brooding because he was single and they were married and with kids.

Their words, not his.

Because in reality, Cassian was happy.

He was happy waiting for his friend to notice he was there for her, when she decided she was gonna have him.

He was happy splitting his time between his own apartment and Nesta's, whenever Logan requested his presence. Which nowadays bordered on always.

Exactly why he wasn't surprised when, opening his thread with Nesta, he found a video of the little girl, now almost one year and a half old.

A weak smile blossomed on his face as he clicked on it.

Nesta was lying on her side, her right arm under Little Lo's head and the baby was looking up at the ceiling, probably staring at the bioluminescent stars he had glued there.

He didn't press play immediately, because the picture of his best friend's half face was too distracting.

Nesta wasn't even fully in the frame, but Cassian wasn't seeing anything else. Her lips were tugged on a corner, a half smile there as she cuddled with her daughter. Her nose glimmered with moisturizing cream, something he knew she put on every night before bed. Her eyes were hidden, out of the picture.

He could have killed, if it meant the promise of tracing his finger down the nape of her perfect nose, to her lips and chin. Of caressing her jaw, holding her face in his hands.

He would have killed to taste those lips, even once.

Taking a deep breath and pretending he wasn't unsettled by the mere thought of touching Nesta, he pressed play and his heart clenched in his chest.

"Da-da, dada, da-da-da-da," Logan was simply calling out for him, basically whispering in the quiet room, brushing her fingers on her lips. "Dadadadada, dada."

His eyes stung lightly and his pinched the tip of his nose, reigning in his emotions.

The little girl turned to the phone once she noticed her mom was recording her and the smile she gave him ended him. Lo yawned in the most cute and tiny way on video and Cassian's stomach tightened to the point of pain.

He loved her.

She smacked the phone from Nesta's hand, calling for her dada once again and everything went black for a few seconds.

The moment colours and pictures came back up, it was Nesta's face smiling at him, now sitting with a writhing Lo saying his name over and over again.

Nesta tilted her head to the side, avoiding being smacked in the face by the baby, "I need you to come here asap. This little beast won't go to bed unless she hears her favourite uncle's lullaby."

Uncle.

The video ended with an otherworldly screech from Logan and Cassian turned off the screen, throwing the phone on the seat, a weird kind of sorrow pulling at his heart.

Uncle.

Nesta had this bad habit of calling him uncle whenever Logan insisted on calling him dada, or dad, or any other way that pointed to the girl thinking he was her father.

And he couldn't be mad. Fuck, he couldn't do shit about it if not accepting the fact that that was the truth.

Logan wasn't his daughter and the only reason they had stopped trying to make her call him anything but dada was because of the meltdowns she had whenever they did.

She was definitely too little still to understand what they were saying, but she rejected the idea anyway. It was like trying to take her favourite toy away.

Putting the car in reverse, he drove out of the parking spot and on the road, hoping Lo would still be awake once he got to their house.

He tried to keep his thoughts at bay as much as he could, failing miserably.

Cassian wanted in on their life. Cassian wanted to be part of it, every morning he wanted to wake up next to them and love them the way they deserved all day long and at night he wanted to hold them tightly to him and fall asleep again. And do it all over again the next day.

For the rest of his life.

He didn't have a single dream or goal that topped this one.

And he was so tired to pretend anything else was more important to him.

***

He cupped the chubby rosy cheek with his palm, passing his thumb over her eyebrow over and over again, watching the way her tiny, tiny lips moved in her sleep, as if she was latching. Logan's little body twitched in his arms, and Cassian repositioned, hoping not to disturb her too much.

Her minuscule hand clutched his shirt and she rubbed her face in the niche of his elbow.

He lowered just enough to place a kiss on her forehead and the small sigh she released did something to him.

He was so focused on memorizing every little detail on her baby face—knowing perfectly well how fast she was growing—that he hadn't noticed Nesta standing just outside the nursery door.

"I'm happy she has you," she whispered.

Cassian didn't look up from Logan, too afraid of his own feelings, which were riding rampant in his mind tonight.

"I'm glad she..." Nesta paused, drew a deep breath and stepped inside. She sat next to him on the fluffy couch and pulled her legs up to her chest.

He hoped she didn't feel him tense when she leaned against him, her head on his shoulder as she put her hand on Logan's belly.

"I'm glad she can count on somebody else. That is not me."

Cassian paused his face massage, sliding his hand under Logan's head and moving so her neck wasn't straining. He fixed his gaze on the floor, not daring moving a muscle.

"Sometimes I think I'm fucking everything up by not actively looking for someone that would step up as her dad, but–"

Nesta moved again, pressing closer to him, moving her hand from Lo to his arm. He knew that if he looked at her, even if he just turned her way, he would kiss her.

When she spoke again, her voice was trembling slightly and Cassian's heart was threatening beating out of his chest.

"What I'm trying to say is, thank you. For being here for her."

He stayed silent, not knowing what to say. He just resumed tracing lines on Lo's cheekbones, something that never failed to soothe her before bed and that knocked her out almost immediately.

It was a long time before he found the courage to talk.

"Nesta, I–"

Or maybe not.

What if he fucked everything up?

What if he was reading her wrong, and all of this was just in his head?

"Yes, Cassian?" She whispered.

He took a shaking breath, closing his eyes, and said, "I don't wanna be her uncle."

The words were out now. And he couldn't seem to be able to stop them.

"And I don't want you to text me during a date that you can't get her to sleep because she needs me to sing to her. I don't wanna have to drive all the way down here every other day because you might need something from me. And it's frustrating when I'm at home and I wanna eat something, just to remember that I bought it for your place and not mine. And don't even get me started on my clothes. Half of my wardrobe is in this house, as far as I know."

Nesta retracted from him so fast that his head whipped her way. He missed her warmth on the spot.

She was looking at him like she'd hit her. Her brow was furrowed and her eyes were shiny, watering with unshed tears.

His throat closed, "Nes, what–"

"I'm sorry we're such a fucking problem to you," she hissed, doing a piss poor job at hiding the hurt.

Cassian's eyes widened with horror, "Problem? What are you talking about?"

She didn't give any sign she'd heard him, "If it's such a pain in your ass driving here just to make her happy, then don't. I annoy you with my texts, I'll stop texting, no big deal." She was heaving now, emotion and exhaustion from a long day taking over. "And you can get your food and your clothes and get the fuck out of here and never come back for all I care. But you could've told me sooner that we were such a bother to you, I'd have kept her from getting so attached."

Cassian was moving before he knew what he was doing.

One second he was on one side of the couch, looking baffled and confused for all the shit that she was spitting at him, the next he was on her, Logan's body close to his chest as he lunged for Nesta's lips.

He moved his hand to her hair, sliding his fingers to the back of her neck, pushing her towards him. He closed his eyes, savouring the plush touch of her mouth on his for the first time.

Taking in everything she was giving him.

Nesta didn't react immediately, but as soon as she realized what was happening she melted into the kiss, backing away slightly before going back for more.

Her hands went to his face, cradling his neck and bringing him impossibly closer to her, as much as she could without hurting her daughter, and Cassian soared.

They both lost track of time before they stopped, never going far. Nesta pushed her forehead against his, brushing her nose sweetly to his.

"Explain," she breathed out.

He chuckled, stunned, "I want her to call me dad, dada, daddy, whatever she prefers. I wanna be there for her, I'm happy to be there for her." He started, leaving a kiss on her lips.

Nesta turned her head sideways, keeping the contact with him, "Focus."

"I hate driving up here every day because I wish I didn't have to go back to my house. It's just another reminder that I'm a guest, someone that is temporarily here.

"I forget I bought food and brought it here because I eat basically all of my meals with you girls, and I want the entirety of my wardrobe to be in this home. I hate going back there. It's lonely. And I want to be here. All the time.

"I want this to be my permanent home. I want you to be my permanent home."

Nesta was keeping her eyes closed, but a tear was running down her cheek. He swiped it away with a thumb, and then passed his fingertip to her lips.

"Cassian," she said.

He kissed her again, a slow, full-of-love peck on her lips.

He inhaled, "I love you, Nesta, and there's literally no other place I'd rather be, than here with you and Logan."

She opened her eyes then and let him in, at last. She let him see the love there, the wanting and longing that had been eating at them both for years.

But they were done running.

"It's always been you," she said, running a soft hand down his cheek.

Cassian nodded, nuzzling her palm, "It's always been you."

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[maddiethedogstories]

Sarah's Playground - 8

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

I am shaking as the tone of my mom's phone ringing resonates over the receiver of Lidia's phone. Lidia is hovering over me, watching my every move, making sure I do exactly what I am told.

I don't have any idea what to do. For years, I'd been dreaming about getting out from under my mom's thumb. The freedom of moving across the country to go to college was so close. However, I could feel my dreams evaporating like the piss drying on my panties. What was I going to do?

There was no way I wasn't getting demoted out of this. If I tell the truth, I would be admitting I am an immature bedwetter and mom would take away my adult privileges. If I lie, Lidia would certainly narc me out to my mom, and the consequences of wetting the bed and lying would certainly be worse. I couldn't even blame Lidia and the alcohol for this. If mom found out that I was drinking, well, I knew that would be the worst situation.

So, when Mom answered the phone, I picked the best of my bad options.

"Hello, Lidia? Is everything ok?" I heard my mom's voice coming over the receiver.

"Um, hi Mom, it's not Lidia, it's Sarah," I said meekly.

"Sarah? Why are you calling me on Lidia's phone? What's wrong?" Mom asked with a tinge of concern in her voice.

"I'm okay, but, I, I have something I have to tell you," I continued hesitantly. Lidia continued to stand over me, listening closely to my conversation.

"What's wrong? You know you can tell me anything baby! I love you no matter what!" Mom said.

I smiled at her reassurance, but it didn't make my next statement any easier.

"Mom, mommy, I, uh, had a little accident last night, and I, uh, I wet the bed," I started to break down in tears from the shame and humiliation of admitting to doing something so childish to my mother. I deserved to be demoted. I could feel it in my soul.

"Really? You wet the bed? You haven't done that since you were 13!" Mom said, sounding surprisingly happy with this situation.

"Yes, it's been a long time," I said to Mom between my sobs, "I'm so sorry!"

"Oh, baby, don't be sad! All little girls have accidents sometimes! I'm not mad at you at all! But, your 18 now, so you must know what this means. Adults don't wet the bed. If you wet the bed, I can't, in good consciousness, keep treating you like an adult," Mom said, still sounding unsettlingly excited about the situation.

"Please, Mommy, it was just one accident! Can't we just ignore it? I am so close to getting to go to college. All of my plans? What will happen to them! Please don't make me a baby again!"

"Ssshhh, baby, it's okay. I'm not going to demote you all the way back to diapers. You know better than most that some big girls have a hard time keeping their pants dry at night too. You'll still get to go to school, just, probably not college for now. How does spending a little time back in adult grade school sound?" Mom said, trying to be reassuring.

"Grade school? Mom, please, don't do this, please!" I pleaded.

"Sorry, sweetie, I don't really have a choice. I'll email the Age Readjustment Agency after this call. From now until you earn the right to be treated as someone older, you will be treated like a 10-year-old," Mom announced.

"Mommy, please!!!" I begged, but mom cut me off.

"Sarah, I would stop and think about what you are doing right now. I have been kind and am letting you keep some big girl privileges. I have not reached out to the ARA yet. You will accept my decision, or you will end up back in preschool!"

That threat shut me up. I immediately closed my mouth and changed tacks.

"Ok, Mommy. Thank you for letting me be treated as a 10-year-old," I said, still sniffling.

"Good girl, now, please hand the phone back to Ms. Lidia. While she wasn't hired to be your babysitter this weekend, that's going to have to be her job now. Please be a good girl for her. If I hear about you putting a foot out of line for her, I might just have to reconsider how old you really are."

I swallowed nervously as I handed the phone back to Lidia who was grinning with a familiar predatory gleam in her eye. Lidia grabbed the phone and immediately turned on speakerphone so I could hear her conversation with my Mommy.

"Hello, ma'am, it's so unfortunate that little Sarah wet the bed last night! I thought she grew out of that years ago. I guess she just isn't as big a girl as we thought she was, huh?" Lidia said.

"Yes, it's so unfortunate!" Mom said, her tone a stark contrast to her words. "Thank goodness you're there though! I know I just hired you to come over and have a good time with Sarah this weekend, but, given the situation, would you mind switching back to babysitter mode until I get home? I'll pay you extra, of course," I heard my mom say.

"Of course! Sarah is always such a LITTLE angel to care for, babysitting her again is no problem. I have to ask though, how old of a little girl am I watching?" Lidia asked.

"She's 10, for now. We'll reassess based on how well behaved she is though," my mom responded, "I am going to need you to help me transition Sarah through her demotion though. Are you okay with that?"

"Of course, she won't be the first demotee I've babysat or the last, I'm sure. What do you need me to do?" Lidia asked.

"Well, I had a feeling something like this might happen, so I am prepared. If you go up to the attic, you'll find a number of boxes labeled with Sarah's name and various age ranges. I need you to grab all of Sarah's adult things--her cellphone, clothes, computer, ecetera--and pack them in the box labeled, 'Sarah - Adult.' Then I'll need you to grab the appropriate box for her now, bring it down and unpack it. Sarah should be willing to help you with that. If not, let me know and we can talk about further, um, readjustments," Mom explained.

My jaw went slack. I know I shouldn't be surprised that my crazy, overprotective Mommy would be prepared to demote me once I grew up. However, hearing just how prepared and organized she was was overwhelming. I suddenly had the sinking feeling in my stomach that, if my mom got her way, the last few days where I was treated like an adult would be my last.

"That sounds perfect, ma'am! I am sure that Sarah will LOVE to help in her readjustment. I'll let you know if their are any problems," Lidia said.

"Thank you, Lidia! You really are the best. What would I do without you? Please let me know if anything else comes up!" My Mom said.

"Of course! Enjoy your trip! Little Sarah is in good hands," Lidia made eye contact with me before hanging up the phone.

Once the phone was disconnected a broad smile crossed Lidia's face.

"It looks like I have my favorite little baby dollie back! This weekend is going to be great!" She said.

[missgavi]

No one can make me believe that Gavi doesn't like to gossip. he probably knows all the dramas that happened at your university/work😭😭AND DOES NOT FORGET ANYTHING. When you give examples like the blonde girl etc. he will instantly say the name of that girl😭😭 and tells you everything that happened at the training. football gossip😋😋

the gossip girl of football 

Huffing and puffing , your fingers begin typing a mile a minute. For whatever reason , one of you classmates from university decided to start a whole fight on the group chat about some assignment 

Normally, you’d ignore her but she just had to drag one of your friends through the mud and you will not let that slide. 

When Gavi walked into the room he could basically smell the gossip, turning from relaxed to overly giddy. “What’s going on amor ?”

Glancing over at him you say “You know that blonde bitch from my architectural engineering class ?” 

Pablo was already munching on some chips and with a mouth full he asked “Who , Lidia ?” 

“No, she’s in my Econ class. I’m talking Samantha” 

At the mention of Samantha your boyfriend almost spit his food “Ugh, I hate her. What did she do now ?”

That’s how you spent the next half an hour explaining to him the whole scandal and showing him all of the text of her accusing your friend for not telling her about the assignment due next week and how now she had no time to finish it. 

“That bitch. It’s not your friends job to inform her of assignments”

“I KNOW. That’s what I told her” you sigh, shutting your phone off and turning towards him. With a much lighter expression you asked about his day.

Gavi once again giddied up at the question “Let me tell you, so...” 

[skyfallscotland]

Ok, House of Sky and Breath live reactions, final part! We're done! Only one more Maasverse book to go. Thank fuck

• Ithan noooo! How will Tharion ever survive if you die before he realises how perfect you are together?

• Oh, Tharion's actually here? Don't worry Dumb, Dumber is here to make sure you're ok 😭

• Wait??? Is Tharion with Hypaxia?? I mean...that's ok, she thinks Ithan's cute? We could make that threesome work??

• Ooooh Ruhn setting up his own Cinderella moment? 🥺 top tier shit!

• Ruhn's Cinderella moment getting ruined by the evil step-sister? Not top tier shit 😤

• WAIT, Hypaxia and Celestina?! Ok, that one I didn't see coming! Literally everyone in this fic book is in an arranged marriage and none of them want to be in it and honestly, I'm so tired of SJM using consent and rape as a plot device and barely ever touching the consequences

• Almost as sick as I am of Bryce and Hunt's sex drive. Shut the fuck up, honestly, you're insufferable!! I'm almost finished this book I think? I hope? And there's been barely any (worthwhile) plot whatsoever. I'm here for the smut, I love smut, but there is such a thing as too much and these two are so boring, I can't even. I'd rather eat stale bread, bye

• Lidia 😭😭 Imma take that as confirmation that I'm right and Day is the Hind. I have such a soft spot for the sister who was discarded and turned into a vicious little thing, may she get her own shadow wielder, she deserves it 😭🖤 Remi 🤝 Lidia forever

• "I don't have a foot fetish." You're BITING HER TOES 😭 I hate them istg

• Oh, we're talking about a war? Yeah, must be the last 200 pages.

• Tharion is such a fucking idiot. Maybe that’s why I ship him with Ithan—just...dumb and dumber.

• Baby Baxian being Danika's mate? Danika not telling Bryce a single thing? No, no, nope, not having it. Firstly, Baxian deserves better tbh. Secondly, Bryce is an idiot if she a) missed aaaall this and b) still thinks Danika was ever her friend, what a [insert c word here]

• It’s actually incredibly depressing how much emphasis she places on sex and the way the men are always thinking about sex. Like?? I’m not here for realism gal and I’d like a side of feelings with that. Ruhn is at least more interesting than Hunt in that regard, but still…ugh.

• “Your starborn bloodline specifically hailed from a small isle a few miles from the mainland….the isle existed in a near-permanent twilight” ACOTAR Dusk Court???

• Celestina being a backstabber? I was surprised tbh, you lulled me into a false sense of security in those many, many pages, good for you SJM, but also, fuck you for handing her someone as nice as Hypaxia, unless she's about to turn into a hidden psycho too

• YAY, the internet's worst kept secret is here! Hiiiii Rhysy! 👋🏼

• Also the internet: what if Azriel is Bryce’s real mate??? Me: what if Azriel and Bryce are related??? 👁️👄👁️ Not sure how my mind jumps to the complete opposite place of other people all the damn time but…here we are 🤷🏼‍♀️

Final impressions: • fuck that was a big book for not much happening • why the fuck did i ever need to find out anything about sofie or her brother at all, what a waste of time, really • danika's still winning the world's worst friend award, two books running • if i ever have to read about bryce and hunt having sex again it will be far too soon.

[eventinelysplayground]

When Bonds Are Broken

This is a fic that I have had the idea with for so long and I just finally finished it. It is going to be a 3 part fic, with the others being POV fics. I just can't cover all the in depth emotions, thoughts etc that I want to in one fic so I decided this was the best way to get all of it. I started with the overall fic because it was easiest and not as emotionally heavy as the POV fics will be. That said this fic still does deal with what happened just ata more only scratching the surface way. Silvio and his father begin a long overdue conversation with uncertain results. WC approx 2523. CW/TW ⚠️: Contains spoilers for Silvio's route, this also mentions Alfios past treatment of Silvio and why it happened. There is also mild swearing. If Silvio and his Dads history/relationship bothered you then you may want to skip this one.

“You expect me to stay here? What if-”

“Silvio.”

Lidia may not have been Queen anymore but she still had an air of command about her and she made use of it now. Silvio shut his mouth for the time being and just listened.

“I understand you're worried but trust me, I've given birth myself in case you've forgotten and what Emma needs now is fresh air and exercise.”

Silvio frowned and was about to start arguing again when Lidia laid a hand on his shoulder.

“I promise you I will keep very close to her and make sure nothing happens. You’ve kept Emma in this room for the last week. It's time you let her move about again, you can trust me, Silvio.”

Of course he trusted Lidia, she had always treated him kindly even after what his mother had done to her and she adored Emma but he was still worried. The birth had been hard on Emma and she was still healing. He was afraid something may happen to her or slow down her recovery.

“Please Silvio, I'd love to go outside. I promise I won't go far or overdo it.”

Between Emma's pleading eyes and Lidia’s commanding tone he knew he wasn't going to win this one anymore.

“Fine, but only in the garden and only for half an hour! If you're gone even a minute longer I'm coming to get you and-”

Emma flung her arms around Silvio's neck and kissed him on the cheek.

“Oh thank you Silvio!”

“Just what the hell do you think you're doing!?”

“Come Emma let's go.”

Lidia gently tugged on Emma's elbow and began to lead her to the door when Silvio called out to them.

“Wait what if he-”

Without stopping their escape Lidia called over her shoulder.

“I'm sure you'll figure it out just fine Silvio, I have immense faith in you!”

And with that the door to Emma's room shut with a gentle thud.

“Damn it.”

Silvio plopped down in a chair near the bassinet and let out a sigh before running a hand through his hair.

“You could of helped me out ya old fart.”

Silvio glared at his father who just snorted at him.

“Have you learned nothing in two years of marriage? Besides, this is more fun.”

“Rotten bastard.”

“You're the king yet still talking like that. I would have hoped you had learned some decency by now.”

“There's nothing wrong with-”

Just then the baby let out a tiny noise followed by loud crying.

“Shit.”

Silvio was quickly on his feet scooping up the infant and holding him to his chest. The baby settled but only momentarily before crying again. Silvio lightly bounced him while softly shushing him as he had seen Emma do but it didn't work.

“What's the matter? You ate already and you don't smell or feel wet. I’m not wearing anything that could bother ya or you could get caught in.”

The infant continued to cry and wail, his little face contorting. Silvio continued to gently bounce him but it was clear looking at his face he was quickly running out of ideas. He was about ready to send for Emma when his father stood up and walked over his exasperation evident on his face.

“Oh give him here.”

Alfio reached out for the baby but Silvio reflexively held him closer.

“Don't act like that, I raised three sons. I know what I'm doing.”

“The hell you did, you raised one son.”

Alfio scowled and grabbed the infant out of Silvio's arms than began rubbing circles over his back. He took a seat with the infant in the nearby chair and began alternating his circles with firm pats and soon enough the baby stopped crying followed by a very loud burp for such a tiny infant.

“There, all better now aren't you.”

Silvio watched the scene unfolding more confused than anything. It wasn't just that his father knew exactly what to do but the melancholy look in his eyes that had his thoughts tripping over themselves.

“How’d ya know that was what he needed?”

Alfio looked up at Silvio briefly before turning his attention back to the baby in his arms. He was silent for long enough that Silvio became aggravated and clicked his tongue.

“Fine, keep it to yourself, I don't need your damn help.”

Silvio reached out for his son and now it was Alfios turn to hold him closer.

“He looked just like you.”

“Huh?”

“When you were a newborn infant. You would wail and cry and scrunch your face up just like that any time you needed to be burped.”

Silvio's eyes were wide, he had never heard the old man's voice sound like this before. It was heavy with an edge of anger but also extreme sadness. He wasn't sure how to handle it so he stood there motionless looking down at the two of them.

“Despite everything that has happened between us I'm relieved that that's one thing you will never know. One thing that can never be taken from you…it's such a horrible thing, I would never wish it on anyone no matter how much I hated them.”

Silvio knew exactly what the old fart was talking about and for the first time he felt the tiniest bit of short lived sympathy for him. He took a seat on the footstool across from the chair and stared at his son while once again thinking how incredibly thankful he was to have found Emma.

“I won't lie, I was certain that was the way things were heading for you. The type of women you attracted was always the worst, not really surprising given your attitude. I'm still trying to figure out how a dog like you managed to get somebody so.. so pure and kind to fall in love with you.”

Silvio was pissed off now and reached out, taking his son back. The infant squirmed slightly but soon settled against his father's broad chest.

“Geez thanks.”

“What? I'm just telling the truth, if you can't handle it then maybe you should change your att-”

“Why do you hate me so damn much? What the hell did I ever do to you?”

Silvio had kept his voice low since his son was now falling asleep but the anger in it was unmistakable. Alfios eyes widened looking exactly like his sons had earlier, clearly stunned by the questions and Silvio just huffed seeing it.

“Forget it.”

Silvio kissed the top of his son's head content to just hold him and stare at him in silence but the old man recovered his senses almost immediately.

“I don't completely hate you, deep down I've always loved you in some way.”

“You sure as hell got a funny way of fucking showing it!”

“For once in your life just shut up and listen to me will you!”

Their voices had gotten louder but they both stopped when they heard a small whine come from the baby. Silvio immediately began swaying him gently from side to side to soothe him. The crisis averted, both men let out a sigh of relief and Alfio continued.

“I was so happy when you were born, no… happy isn't even the right word for how I felt, it was so much more than that.”

Silvio ran his hand over the top of his son's head, he knew the feelings his father was trying to describe.

“Then not two weeks later it was all shattered to pieces. Stolen away from me by that conniving horrid excuse for a woman.”

Silvio's involuntary shudder didn't go unnoticed by his father and he let out a sad chuckle.

“Those few simple words broke me that day. She was twisted and hateful enough she could have said it just out of spite but it didn't matter, once it was said there was no going back and she knew it. Your grandparents tried to reassure me, he has your eyes is what they'd all say. If blue eyes was all it took to make a kid mine I could be the father of thousands of children.”

Silvio looked up but instead of meeting the old man's gaze the former king was looking past him, his face twisted with decades of deep pain and anger.

“I found that I couldn't bear holding you... or even looking at you anymore. As the months went by and you grew and started to develop something of a personality it all just got worse. Everybody commented on how you were acting like me, how you'd grow up just like me and that woman, she'd just sit there smirking at me or make some backhanded comment like ‘we’ll see’. It made me sick and furious and every time I saw you do something that reminded me of myself or something that was nothing like me it just threw it in my face all over again that I would never know whose child you really were. Everything I felt towards you became so twisted, it was mental torture what I went through.”

“So what? You think that's an excuse for all the damn torture you put me through? Hell you were gonna kill me the last time if it wasn't for Emma and the damn mutt!”

“I don't need to excuse anything I did, especially not to you.”

Alfio leaned forward on the chair, his sharp eyes locked on Silvio's.

“You may think whatever you want about what I did but you will never have the faintest idea of what I went through, what I fought with, what I still fight with to this day over you.”

Alfio practically spat the words out at Silvio who leaned back from him while instinctually bringing up a large hand to shield his son. Alfio seemed to return to his senses and leaned back again, his face softening ever so slightly.

“There was a night not long after Emma had arrived in Benitoite that I saw the two of you together in the hallway. I don't remember exactly what was said but I do remember the way you two looked at each other, nobody can fake that look. Any doubts I had as to her motives vanished in that moment. As I continued to watch the two of you I found a weight I didn't even know I had lifted off me. It was from the fear you would go through what I had. Being tormented by uncertainty, your actions and your own feelings of insecurity and inferiority.”

Silvio started at those last words, the old man had always been such a blow hard he never even considered he could feel insecure or inferior about anything. Silvio was unsure whether to believe the old man or not so he simply asked him.

“Why did ya never say any of this before?”

“I don't owe you anything plus…this isn't something easily explained or understood. But now you have your own child, your own son and you know how wonderful and life changing it is.”

Alfio reached out and like Silvio had earlier he ran his hand over the baby's head.

“To have this perfect expression of your love, this tiny child who completely belongs to the both of you and, unfortunately for him, looks just like you.”

“Hey!”

“You know this joy now and know what it's like. You're in the best position you'll ever be in to imagine what it feels like, what it would do to you to have it all ripped mercilessly from you and thrown away. And even with all you know now your imagination will still never come close to the horrible truth of it all.”

Silvio didn't know what to say. He knew Emma loved him and would never but his mother was a different story. He had become familiar with her twisted cruelty at a young age and he knew how it had sent him reeling the day his mother so casually told him he may not be the king's son, how much it had tortured him since but none of that excused the old man's behavior.

“I told you I don't need to excuse anything. Empty apologies won't undo what's been done for either of us. Even with all the conflict and torment I went through I still continued to recognize you as my son, though admittedly I did so begrudgingly most of the time.”

“That's an understatement.”

“So what if it is, you still never lost your place here like you were so afraid of.”

Silvio's breath caught in his throat.

“Thought I didn't know about that, did you?”

Silvio said nothing, not wanting to confirm anything and Alfio huffed.

“You're easy enough to read, especially for those close to you. Even without that though I'm not so incompetent I couldn't pick up on the change in you. I thought about asking your mother to confirm my suspicions but what would have been the damn point, everything was so much worse after that.”

Silvio couldn't deny that and he clicked his tongue thinking about how his mother was probably laughing at them from hell.

“You’re a shitty father.”

“And yet I still made you king.”

“Ya because I forced your hand you old fart!”

“What does that matter, you still got what you always wanted!”

“What I wanted was the father that Valerio had!”

Silvio cursed internally when he realized he had said that out loud.

“The man that could have been that father for you died a long time ago, Silvio.”

There was a resigned bitterness and sense of loss in Alfios voice.

“I can promise you this though. Regardless of whose son you actually are, this little one is my grandson and I plan to be much better as a grandfather than I ever was as a father."

Silvio snorted.

“That ain't exactly hard considerin’ where you're starting from.”

“Watch your tongue with me, I may not be king anymore but I'm still your father!”

The air had been tense but somehow the familiar chastising had lightened the mood and Alfio leaned back further in his chair and began laughing.

“What's so funny?”

“I'm just thinking about when he grows up and starts talking back to you. I mean with the example you're setting and the way I've heard his mother sass you well…”

Silvio went to argue but very quickly thought better of it, not out of any respect for his old man but more because he was probably right.

"You'll be a good father Silvio, even with that mouth of yours."

“Rotten bastard.”

“Maybe so but that doesn't make me wrong, and that type of response is exactly what I'm talking about!”

That night as Silvio sat close by watching Emma and their son sleeping he thought back on everything the old man had said. He still thought he was trying to excuse away all his shitty behavior but in the end it didn't really matter. Nothing could repair the decades worth of damage that had been done but now, if nothing else, they could make sure that the horrors of the past remained just that.

[fieldofdaisiies]

Ithan x Reader | Rude Boy

type: angst, suggestive warning(s): cursing, nightclub, alcohol consumption, vulgar wording word count: 2.6k words request: Omg omg since ur writing for ithan holstrom i was wondering if you would write like a second chance fic with like a lot of angst and like them being broken up, she's tryna get over him, and he is possessive so she dirty dances with any of the other guys like flynn or tharion and he's just like get the fuck off my girl like huh?

- all rights reserved -

“And what does that mean now?” “That I cannot stand it anymore,” Ithan growls, his jaw tense, his expression so very angry. 

“So you are breaking up with me?”

“Yes, I am.” Ithan shudders when he turns away from you, only to turn back at you, glowering. “You never have time for him. Everything else is more important than me. Your studies, your friends, your work, even your guy best friends.”

You don’t have guy best friends. The most you have are Danaan and Flynn as your friends but you only met them through Lidia and only befriended them through her and through your relationship with Ithan. But they are not your guy best friends, they are friends and that is it. You also only ever spend time with them when all of your are together.

“That is not true,” you say, your voice quivering. Your feel your lower lip tremble, your lashes dampening. “I was just busy this last week.” “And the week before. And before that as well.” Ithan pauses, his chest heaving with deep inhales. “If you no longer wanted to spend time with me, you should have just said so.”

“That is not true.”

It was the last conversation you had with Ithan, packing your things on that day and leaving his place. Crying you return to your own apartment, the one you share with Lidia Cervos. She is sitting on the living room couch, her legs thrown over Ruhn’s lap, both of them laughing loudly. Your heart cracks open once again, a sob parting your lips.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” you breath out, dashing through the corridor, back to your room, nearly stumbling over your own feet and the bags filled with things you had at Ithan’s place. Slamming the door shut behind you, you fall face forward into the bed, letting your tears run free, your weeps muffled by the pillow that slowly gets wet from your tears. A door falls close somewhere in the flat and you assume Lidia and Ruhn have gone to her room. But you thought wrong, as a soft knock sounds at your door a moment later and soon the door is opened.

“Y/N?” Lidia’s voice fills the room and your hear her walk in. You lift your head, your blurry vision hindering you from seeing the expression of her face. But you have a feeling it is pained. You and Lidia have gotten extremely close over the past years, you have helped her a lot to get out of the relationship with Pollux, offered her a place to stay and protected her, kept her safe when he showed up here. Her heart breaks when another sob slips through your lips and she hurdles over to you, sitting down the bed and cradles your face in her hands. “Oh baby, what has happened?”

Lidia swings her legs onto the bed, leaning against the headboard, her hands not leaving your face.

“Ithan and I…” A cry cuts your off and you bring your hand up, wiping the back of it over your face, under your nose. “We broke up,” you bubble, shaking your head. 

Lidia looks shocked, her eyes going wide, her lips parting. She has always pointed out what a beautiful couple you are, how perfectly you fit. She has been the one to get the two of you together, having loved the thought of one of her best friends dating one of her boyfriend’s friends. And you have been a beautiful couple, but apperently Ithan decided to throw it all away because of his jealousy or whatever. Maybe he had his reasons, but he did not tell you them.

“Why?” Lidia asks carefully, lying down on the bed next to you. You shift a little, cuddling up to her, your head in the crook of her neck, her arm around you, hand softly stroking your back. 

“I don’t know,” you breathe, tasting the salty tears in your mouth. “He said I did not spend enough time with him. That I rather spend time with everyone else but him.”

Lidia huffs loudly and gives her head a little shake — as good as it possible why lying. “That is bullshit, you have been at his place every weekend.”

“That was not enough I think.” You brush your face over her shoulder, feeling a little guilty as there is already a damp spot on her shirt. “You think he really does not laugh me anymore?”

Lidia turns her head a little. “I think he still loves you a lot. He loved you so much before, he would not just stop loving you. I think he might have different reasons.”

And he had, but you only find out about them later, for now your are bathing in your pain, the ache in your chest only getting more rather than vanishing. 

Lidia stays with you that night, holding you in her embrace the whole night and letting you sob until you have no tears left to cry. 

You wake up in the morning with red puffy eyes, your face swollen and your throat dry. Lidia and you have breakfast together, and later you make yourself a girls day, filled with face masks, and nail care and movies. She tells you that she sent Ruhn away last night, telling him that you were her priority then and he understood. He understood. He understood other than Ithan, that there sometimes are other priorities but that she still loved him the same way. 

It is a week after your breakup when Lidia is once again in your room, rummaging around in your closet. “That one?” She tosses a bright red and way too short dress at you and you huff a no.

“Well then that one?” Now a black dress comes flying at you and Lidia throws you a warning look when she leans backwards and looks at you around the door of your closet. 

You pick the dress up and look at it, it has low cut outs and some transparent pieces. You pull one shoulder up, shrugging a little. “I am not sure.” You are not sure for more than one reason. You don’t feel yourself so much after the breakup with Ithan, you don’t know if you will feel comfortable and secondly, it was Ithan's favourite dress on you. Would this just rip open the wounds again? You aren’t sure, but when you meet Lidia’s pleading eyes you say yes. It is Ruhn’s birthday party — he is celebrating at a club and you really did not want to go but Lidia was persistent, saying you need to get out again, mingle a little and really need the distraction. So you agreed. She also said she would really like to have you there, not yet having fully connected with Bryce and would love to have her best friend with her. So you agreed not wanting her to be alone, but in the back of your mind regret takes root. You know Ithan will be there as well. Ruhn was his friend, he was definitely invited. 

A cab drops you off at the venue, a long lineup of club goers already waiting to get inside. But Lidia takes your hand, pulling you past those people, past the people smoking outside the club, until you come to a halt in front of the door and a big Hulk-like male that gives the two of you a once over. 

“We are on the guest list for Ruhn Danaan,” Lidia says casually. The man checks but still asks to see your IDs. He checks them as well and lets you pass with the wave of his hand. 

You heart is thrumming in your chest when you follow Lidia through the crowd of dancing people, strobe lights flash from above and all around you, otherwise the club would be completely dim. 

“He is here!” you shout to your best friend over the loud music, pointing forward, your heart now beating in your throat. 

“I know, I am sorry, Y/N,” Lidia says, squeezing your hand tightly while pulling you with her. Seeing Ithan would anyway be inevitable, but still your stomach churns as you have no idea how to approach him. Would you two speak?

Ithan’s eyes, full of pain and an emotion you cannot quite place, land on you the moment you get up the VIP area and Lidia greets her boyfriend with a passionate kiss. YOu obviously follow, wishing him all the best for his birthday before greeting the others. 

Ithan watches you with a stoic expression when you wave your hand at him. He does not greet you, just looks at you and your heart cracks open. It is like he is blaming you. Like you made a mistake while he was the one to break up with you. Tipping his glass to his lips he downs it in one gulp. 

You are getting angry, your gaze holding his until arms wrap around your waist from behind you.

Tristan’s head appears next you and he beams. “Hello, beautiful. Haven't see you in a while, how are you?”

“Fine,” you mumbled, trying to turn in his hold or rather leave his embrace. But then—

“You want to dance?”

“I was just about to offer you a drink,” —Tristan holds up two glasses—- “but dancing sounds like fun.”

“Drinking as well. Thank you!” You take the glass from his hands, clink his with it and then down it in one. He does the same. 

If Ithan thinks that you spend too much time with the other boys, which was bullshit, you would show him how much you love spending time with them. It was super silly and on the edge of childish, but he had no right to be pissed right then, he was the one who broke up with you. 

You follow Tristan who is holding you hand onto the dance floor, he turns you to him, grinning brightly. "I assume we are trying to make wolf-boy jealous?”

“He is already jealous,” you groan, moving your hands up chest his chest, feeling his strong muscles underneath the shirt while his own hands find their place on your waist. 

“Yeah, but I think we are just adding oil to the fire.” A wicked glint appears in Tristan’s, his hands just moving his hands a little lower. “He has been miserable the past week,” Tristan shouts, leaning in, his lips brushing your ear.

“He broke up with me, you remember?” You tip your head to the side, eyes widening.

“I know, but you know why?” “Because apperently I have neglected him,” you grumble.

“Hmm.” You shake your head. 

He takes one hand of yours into his, swirling you away from him. Your hair shifts over your shoulder and lifts. Irritation coats your insides, but still you force a grin to your lips. Wanting Ithan to hurt just like you did — although you actually don't it. You don’t really know what you want. (imagine rude boy by Rihanna playing)

Flynn pulls you back to him while you sing a long to the text. Through the crowd you directly meet Ithan’s gaze, he has already been looking at you —glowering. Anger is etched into his features, his eyes like burning coals. 

Come here rude boy, boy

Is you big enough?

Tristan turns you a little, pulling you closer to him, his hands come to rest on your waist. You move your hands up, your butt grinding a little against his front. You continue singing, your eyes are closed. 

Come here rude boy, boy

Can you get it up?

But when you open your eyes again, you don’t see Ithan anymore. Has he left? Have you taken it too far?

You clamp down on the regret that bubbles up inside of you and turn back to Tristan, hands sliding up to his neck. 

“He has left,” you say matter-of-factly. Tristan parts his lips but right when he wants to say something, you feel another pair of hands on your hips.

“Fuck off, Flynn, get away from my girl!” Ithan growls behind you and you are pulled back towards his hard chest. You startle, fuming. “I am no longer your girl, Ithan!” you growl out when your head whips to him.

It looks like all life whooshes out of him, his eyes widen, his lower lip trembling. “We need to talk,”he shouts over the music, but you shake your head.

“Don’t tell me what I have to do!”

Ithan turns you in his hold, eyes full of pain when they catch your gaze. “Please, let us talk.”

Slowly you find yourself nodding, hurt radiating from every fiber of his body. “Okay,” you said and lean upwards a little, his scent of cologne, of wood and nature filling your nostrils. 

Ithan lets you lead, you guiding the two of you through the crowd of people until your are outside where people are lingering on the fringes, smoking. 

You try to find a place that is not so full of people and so you stop right next to the wall of the building, leaning against it and crossing your arms over your chest. 

“Now?” You raise a brow.

“Forgive me please,” Ithan says, his voice quivering and hoarse. He braces his hands on the wall beside you, leaning closer. 

“All of a sudden? Did it really need Tristan and me dancing that you realise you made a mistake?” Ithan’s throat works on a swallow, will fury blazes through your veins. You glare at him, feeling tears burn behind your eyes. 

“No,” Ithan bites out, his hand forming a fist and he punches the wall a little. “Please, forgive me. I have been such an idiot. It all got too much. The weekend I broke up with you was the anniversary of Connor’s death. I just couldn’t handle my emotions. And then you went out with Lidia instead of me and helped Ruhn choose a birthday cake and I just once again felt like everyone I love is leaving me.”

A tears runs out of Ithan’s eye and your heart shatters. You place your hands on his shoulders, squeezing them. “Oh Ithan,” you breathe. Ithan’s mask slowly cracks open further, his lips quivering, his hands trembling. “You should have told me,” you say in a low voice, your own eyes watering.

“I tried to. But I thought you no longer loved me and I would just break up so you are not leaving me. It was stupid and selfish.”

“You are right it was stupid, but not selfish. You wanted to break you heart, Ithan. Oh gods!” You pull on his shoulders, bringing him closer to you, before curling your arms around his neck. 

“Why didn’t you tell me about the anniversary of Connor’s death.”

Ithan exhales loudly into the crook of your neck, his tears falling to your skin. “I did not want you to see me so weak.”

“Ithan you are my boyfriend, I want to see all of you. You are not weak if you mourn your brother’s death.” 

He pulls back a little, staring at you with big, pain-filled eyes. Another tears slips out of the corner and you quickly brush your thumb over it. “You boyfriend?” he whispers, the corner of his mouth tipping upwards. “So I am forgiven.”

“You shattered my heart into pieces, there is a lot more you have to do to make up for it, but yes, you are a little tiny bit forgiven.”

“I can promise some making up tonight. You are coming back home with me, yes?”

You smile at him. “Yes, but only if you promise that we talk about things from now on. Everything. I want you to share with me what you are feeling, what you are going through. I want you to talk to me about Connor. I don’t want you have to deal with that all alone.”

Ithan inclines his head and then leans in to kiss your forehead. “I promise I will!”

~~~~~~~~~~

tags: @headcanonheadcase @azrielsbabyg @randomness-it-is  @brekkershadowsinger 

[hlizr50]

I hope you're ready for some RuhnLidia ANGST!!!

This idea came to me whilst chatting with @headcanonheadcase and @highladyofillyria about the Pack Darling books by Lola Rock. Highly recommend, in case you haven't read.

I hope you enjoy a bit of a darker, more angsty take on Lidia post-HOSAB.

Read it on AO3 or below!

Ruhn heaved a sigh of relief as he loosened his tie and unhooked the top button of his crisp collared shirt. He felt stifled by the formalwear, and even more so by the event that had required it.

Lidia Cervos had been awarded the Medal of Honor for her service during the Asteri War and in the volatile time after. It was the first time Ruhn had seen her since the Eternal City. Since she’d looked at him with dark, haunted eyes and traced her fingers over the fuzz that had grown in since his hair had been shorn to his scalp. 

Since she’d hurriedly unlocked his shackles and told him to run.

Lidia Cervos looked like Hel.

Her formal military regalia hung limply from her shoulders, not filled out with sensual curves of muscle and flesh like they used to be, though the silver torque still curved around her neck. Her fists had remained clenched so tightly her knuckles were white through the entirety of the presentation. Her pale, sunken cheeks were devoid of makeup and life, and her unpainted lips tight and curved into a frown. Sleeplessness had bruised the flesh under dark, dead eyes.

And her hair.

It stuck out in haphazard chunks, as if shears had been taken to it in handfuls, and there had been no attempt by her or anyone else to control it. It was so unlike the cool and collected agent he’d known, and so unlike the confident beast she’d also been.

Lidia Cervos looked like a dead woman walking.

The image, seared into his mind, made his chest ache. It fit perfectly next to the echo of her broken voice, calling to him as he built the walls that shut her out as his sister ran to another world. And both of those memories snuggled up with the feeling of her fingertips against his shaven head and his cheek as those golden eyes glimmered with unshed tears and a wordless apology rippled in the chasm between them.

Ruhn’s hand combed through his hair, which had grown down just below his chin, his fingers lingering and rubbing the ends absently as he tugged the tie clean away from his neck.

He’d just stepped into the living room, on the way to the liquor waiting in the kitchen, when a soft knock on the door stopped him in his tracks. The tingling sensation at his nape and the faint tug against his rib told him what he could’ve looked through the doorbell camera to see. And when he swung the door wide he was unsurprised to find Lidia Cervos on the other side. Her posture was straight and proud, in spite of the exhaustion in her gaze. In her black fatigues and faded black v-neck she looked almost like the female that the world had feared before they learned her truth, though even these were baggy and ill-fitting. 

Ruhn didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to greet the female who’d stolen his heart before he violently wrenched it from her hands. How long had it been since they’d been face to face? Nearly a year?

“I have something for you,” she murmured, looking squarely into his chest. His indigo gaze traced her outline, catching on the black duffel she held in her left hand. With a single dip of his chin he stepped to the side and gestured for her to enter. Lidia led him into the living room and then gestured for him to sit on the couch. She remained standing, stoic and silent, on the opposite side of the coffee table.

Then, without words or fanfare, she knelt and unzipped the bag. To the Valbaran prince’s unholy fascination, she fished out bundle after bundle of what looked like…

Hair?

Gold and auburn and onyx and chocolate brown, each handful tied with a string with a little white tag. Some were wavy, some straight and silky. One bundle was longer than his forearm, though most were considerably shorter. Ruhn leaned forward with furrowed brows, reaching for the tag attached to a fistful of blonde waves.

‘Pollux Antonius’

Holy. Fuck.

He tipped the tag of the next bundle: pin straight strands of darkest night.

‘Castor Scelus’

The Hawk.

Ruhn’s eyes snapped to the woman across from him as she stared at the macabre collection.

“I… what is this?”

“Everyone who hurt you, or ordered it. They’re all dead, save for one, though I wasn’t always the one dealing it.” Through her lashes, the former prince could see something glimmering in her stare — something dark and deranged and satisfied.

At least it was… something. But it still put him on edge.

He looked down the line, reading each tag, lungs stuttering when he read through six names that required no surname:

‘Austrus’

‘Eosphoros’ 

‘Hesperus’

‘Octartis’ 

‘Polaris’

‘Rigelus’

The Asteri.

Deep down he’d known the shifter had been involved when their bodies had been found, each with hair shorn to the scalp. She may not have dealt the final blow to all of them in the war — though she had likely killed one or two — but she had ensured their final humiliation.

The proof was there before his very eyes.

Then his attention fell upon the last bundle: the longest, still shining as if it had been spun from the sun itself. There was something unsettling about its beauty, about the urge he felt to run his fingers through it. But when he reached, he only touched the tag, and the name there sent his heart into his stomach.

‘Lidia Cervos’

When his gaze whipped back to her, they met smoldering liquid gold. Her stare was unwavering. Powerful.

“They’re all dead, save for one.”

“I never apologized to you. For the secrets I kept. For the things I did.” On a soft sigh she rose to her feet, the duffel forgotten. “You deserved so much more than I could ever give you. If I were stronger, I would have taken my own life just as I took theirs.” Her chin jerked toward the coffee table and where he sat, frozen with shock.

Lidia Cervos headed toward the door.

Ruhn stared at the grim collection of trophies strewn across the table. At the long golden ponytail that had been part of self-imposed penitence of a woman who had given all of herself. All he could hear was the echo of his name, the pounding of her fists against glittering adamant walls, the snick of cameras as she grimly accepted an honor she didn’t believe she deserved. He was blinded by her unkempt appearance and her empty gaze and the blur of tangled tresses of red and brown and black blonde.

And then… clarity.

“You remind me that I’m alive.”

It was the click of the closing door that spurred him. He leapt from the couch and reached the entryway in three colossal strides, throwing the door wide.

Ruhn’s large hand circled the shifter’s wrist before she’d made it to the bottom of the front steps, and she froze.

“Day…?” He whispered, praying that a sliver of her had survived. That would be enough — a seed that he could cultivate with comfort and love and understanding and forgiveness.

Silence.

He gave her a gentle tug, turning her body toward him. Her eyes were trained on the ground, so he palmed her cheeks and lifted her face to his.

“Lidia,” he breathed. Her name was foreign on his tongue. Rich and exotic and perfect. Gods, why hadn’t he said it before? Her eyes shot to his, wide and glassy, with the tiniest glitter of life.

That was all he needed to see.

Dipping his chin, he claimed her lips. The kiss was charged with everything he’d forgotten about how special she was — strong and capable and stubborn and beautiful. Something sparked inside him, a warm glow filling the void in his chest where she had been missing since that first day he’d shut her out.

The shifter pushed against him, breaking the kiss with a whimper.

“Ruhn… I…” she choked out before taking a shuddering breath. “I don’t deserve you.”

The Valbaran prince chuckled softly, his lips quirking into a gentle grin.

“I don’t give a fuck. You’re mine.”

He kissed her again before sweeping her into his arms and taking her inside. They had a lot to talk about. A lot of healing to do.

Ruhn was determined to make her smile again.

She’d killed for him.

Now he would bring her back from the brink.

Tag List: @headcanonheadcase @vikingmagic33 @thecrispypotatochip @mystical-blaise @daevastanner @mercarimari @sunshinebingo @foreverinelysian @freyjas-musings @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @octobers-veryown @damedechance @romancebooksandshit @daybrights @seleneastra @sv0430 @madie2200 @everfairypie

[divinerivals]

Imagine if Bryce left the portal open to Prythian, and she took Az and Nesta clubbing. Introduced Az to the frat pack, let him smoke mirthroot, and Ruhn showed him his music collection. Ruhn, after realizing he's pretty cool, apologizes for when Bryce introduced them, and he called him a fae asshole and warning him if he ever tries to threaten Bryce again.

Cassian also joins. There's no way in hell Az and Nesta are going to another world. He and Hunt are stupid awkward at first. Then he discovers Sunball. They never shut up. Also heavy on the clubbing with Az. Cassian makes sure to go see Randall as well. They talk war. Cassian discovered shooting ranges, and it's the best thing. Az meets Lidia, and they talk about spywork when he hears her past he's extremely moved by it. Ruhn and Lidia are his favorite people out of the new crowd.

Then we have Nesta who enjoys the dancing, but Bryce brings her to the dance studio. Introduces her to Juniper, and they do dance classes together and Nesta absolutely thrives and loves it. Bryce is also showing Nesta trashy TV. If Nesta doesn't see Ember, she asks to see her. Nesta always makes sure she has Ember time when she comes to Lunathion. Ember learns her birthday and gets her gifts and makes her things. She does the same thing for Solstice. When Nesta meets Lidia, they bond traumatic pasts and people judging them. Nesta feels like she found a true companion in her, and Nesta introduces her to smutty books.

Of course, eventually, Bryce and Ember and Randall meet the Feyre, Nyx, Elain, Lucien, Gwyn, and Emerie

[ruhnlidiasworld]

Ruhn x Lidia 🎡

Title: Rollercoaster

Pairing: Ruhn Danaan/Lidia Cervos

Rating: Free

Words: 2,132 (one-shot)

Summary: This is just Ruhn taking Lidia to have some fun post-hofas.

Warnings: This have small Ruhnlidia spoilers! I wrote them after their hofas ending, so pls be aware!

AO3: Link | Thanks to my ruhnlidia friends for giving me the idea 🥹

Pov-Lidia

“Drop everything you're doing. We're going on a date.” Ruhn stated, sitting on my table.

“Where are we going?” I replied without knowing if I understood his words correctly.

“A date.”

“We are in the middle of a working day!. We can’t leave Aux without superv…”

“We are going. Clean your desk.”

I cross my hands across my chest and look at him seriously, with my more menacing expression.

“You can't demand it.”

“I can.”

“You cannot.”

“I'm the Aux Commander, so I'm your boss and I'm kindly asking you to shut things down.”

Ruhn smiles. That damn charming smile, and he knows damn well that I lose the ability to argue against him when he does that.

“You can’t use the ‘I’m the commander’ card with your own mate.”

“I can't?” Ruhn says, leaning towards me until our faces are inches apart. “Who's going to stop me?”

I return the provocation with a fake smile, leaning further towards him.

“You can be the commander, Danaan” I whisper, bringing my index finger to his chin. “But I’m your mate, so I command the commander. And if I say you can't, then you can't. Am I wrong, Night?”

Lust stands out in the glance Ruhn gives me. He runs his tongue across the piercing in his bottom lip, pondering his next move.

“No. But if you refuse to go out with me to be stuck in this office on a very boring day, I will take it personally...Day.”

Appealing for my emotional side. Ruhn 1 x me 0.

“Why now?”

“Why not?” Ruhn teases.

“Where will we go?”

“That's up to you.”

I can't take it and let out a loud laugh, leaning back in the chair.

“Your plan was to come here and ask me out, but you didn’t plan where to take me?” I say, raising my eyebrows.

“ I've never taken you on a date. It would be our first, so I thought to let you choose where you wanna go.”

Even though we're having fun, I feel the weight of those words hit me. We are together. Married. We are mates. Still, Ruhn is right. We never had a date. The simple act of acting like a normal couple, developing our relationship like any other couple would, was taken away from us a long time ago. We had been trying to find a rhythm in our life as a couple, but with so much to resolve in our brief sigh of peace, marital plans ended up being shelved.

“And you're going to let me choose like this? Anything I want?”

Ruhn nodded firmly.

“I enjoyed my youth. You didn't. Anywhere you want to go on our first date, I'll take you.”

“Even if I choose a very expensive restaurant?” I tease him one more time.

Ruhn laughs scornfully.

“Money has never been a problem for me. But I doubt you want to go to dinner somewhere fancy.”

And he was right. Gods, sometimes I hated how well he could read me.

“And you're right, I wouldn't like it.” I ponder for a few seconds thinking about everything I've ever wanted to do in my life, but never had the opportunity. Fun. Freedom. And a childhood dream that I was never able to fulfill. “Anywhere, really?”

“Anywhere, Day”.

“Amusement park.”

Ruhn's confident face falters for a brief moment. Almost imperceptible to others, but to me it was visible.

“Any problems with the amusement park? I don't want to force you…”

“No way! I was just…surprised.”

I stare at my partner suspiciously. Ruhn was never the type to hide feelings and tastes, in fact, he was always like an open book that was even too open. Showing too much. Giving too much. Gods, he was on the verge of death, but he would run to save me even though he was mad at me, if the others hadn't stopped him. Of course I loved him even more for these attitudes. But I wouldn't want him to be uncomfortable because of me.

“Are you sure that's all?” I try to force it a little, checking if he will let anything slip.

“I am sure! Let's go before it gets crowded with noisy children.”

I smile at his overconfidence, but take his hand, leaving all the boring work behind.

***

The park is…noisy. Much noisier and crowded than I thought it would be. Despite our efforts, it was packed with a wide range of audiences. Children, family, teenage couples, elderly couples. It's a place for anyone, and everyone's so focused on having fun that they don't pay attention to us.

I squeeze Ruhn's hand tighter, afraid of losing him in the crowd. He squeezes my hand in response, offering a shy but welcoming smile.

“So, which attraction will it be?”

“Attraction?” I ask confused.

Ruhn laughs loudly.

“Do you even know how an amusement park works?”

“I never stopped to think about it.” I admit, shrugging my shoulders. “I only saw people coming here and I wanted to come one day too.”

“Well,” my mate begins to drag me across the wide space. “There are several attractions here. Some are more radical, others more calm. Most are made to get the adrenaline pumping in you. There's usually a lot of screaming, especially in the Haunted Mansion and the Haunted tunnel.”

“Haunted?”

“Yes, haunted. Like in horror movies.” amusement dances on Ruhn's lips. “You stay in a small, roofless car. Then you enter this dark, gloomy tunnel or mansion, full of scary figures, coffins, skulls, blood, people jumping at you screaming out of nowhere, it's very...chaotic. But good if you like horror.”

“We can go there, I think I'd like to! I like horror movies”

My partner looks at me as if I were a mental hospital patient.

“Come on, Night! You have a skull tattooed on your hand, don't tell me you're afraid of horror things.”

“I'm not afraid!” Ruhn defended himself. “I just...it's not my favorite spot.”

I cast one more suspicious glance in his direction as we walk through the park. I evaluate some of the attractions trying to judge which one would not be boring.

“Okay, what's your favorite ride?”

Ruhn seems to be scheming something in his mind.

“I like the Teacups.”

“Then take me there.” I encourage him to take action. For someone so brave, Ruhn seemed more fearful than usual. “I want us to have fun together, Night.”

I rub my thumb over his hand. Maybe he was nervous about it being our first date, but he takes a deep breath and smiles at me.

“Get ready then, I'm going to show you all my favorite rides to go.”

And he showed. The Teacups. A kind of chair that collapses from a frighteningly high height. The bumper cars that, although he denied it to the death, I won every time. Spinning gravity, The Rotor, Pendulum ride, he even encouraged himself to go in the haunted mansion with me and his frightened screams amused me more than anything. I have never felt so free and alive. Being able to be with my mate, without any worries, just acting like a normal woman was more than I could have asked for. Ruhn also won me a stuffed deer from one of the stuffed animal machines. I was still thinking of a name for my new creature when I felt like something was missing.

“I want to go on the roller coaster”

Ruhn doesn't show any reaction at first, but he seems to consider my request carefully.

“Are you sure about this, Day? Some roller coasters are dangerous, people vomit…”

“Oh please, Night!” I give him a quizzical look. “I've never been to one, I'm willing to do anything! Not to mention look at all the rides we've been to?! Every single one of them is dangerous, I'm sure we can face the roller coaster.”

Ruhn doesn't answer me, he just looks at me with a skeptical face and I knew he was about to give in.

“Please…” I give him my best pair of puppy eyes.

Ruhn catches me off guard and gives me a peck on the lips.

“Okay, sweetheart. Let's do this”.

I jump in celebration as we walk to the line. The queue was huge and we spent about five minutes standing around waiting until it was our turn. Ruhn was silent, making only occasional comments when I tried to talk to him. I didn't let myself be affected by his lack of words, I just held my deer plush and excitedly entered the attraction. Ruhn checked that the safety lock was truly secure about ten times and only stopped because the car started to move. At that time he grabbed my hand tightly.

“I love you.” Ruhn declared randomly.

I look at him confused

“Why?”

“Because you are brave, you saved my life, you are beautiful, you’re my mate, you….”

I start laughing hysterically.

“I meant, why did you say that out of nowhere?”

“Because if we both die here…”

Another laugh that I can't contain.

“Honey, we're not going to die! It's just a roller coaster.” I stroke his arm trying to comfort him.”

“That's what you 're saying!” Ruhn argues desperately.

“Raise your arms.”

“What?”

“Raise your arms, go!”

That's what I do, but Ruhn doesn't. When the carriage plummets at high speed, screams begin to echo and Ruhn's are the funniest. I couldn't stop laughing, I've never felt so complete. Full and sincere happiness runs through my veins and I wouldn't change anything right now. The wind whipping through the strands of my hair, the adrenaline burning in my blood, Ruhn's hand squeezing my thigh as he screams, terrified but smiling. Everything is a blur, the rise, the fall, the curves, suddenly we are upside down and before I could recover it starts again. And again and again. Happiness, freedom, fun, love for my mate who agreed to this madness for me, I experienced a real overdose of feelings in minutes, but it felt like hours until the carriage stopped and the lock released us to get up.

My breathing was labored and I still couldn't stop laughing. Ruhn, next to me, with his eyes closed, breathed deeply, trying to find the strength to stand up. My mate threw his head back and laughed loudly, slightly desperately, and it was the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard. The moonlight reflected off his lower lip piercing and I leaned in to give him a kiss.

Ruhn grabs my hand and we exit the attraction as quickly as we can to let the next group on.

“That was…Insane! I never felt like this! Wow, Night, that was absolutely hysteric…’

Ruhn lets go of my hand before I finish and sticks his face in the nearest trash can, throwing up his last meal. I have to bite my lip to contain the laughter rising in my throat, but the other part of me, the protective part, rushes toward him. What a great mate I am, laughing at my mate while he spilled his stomach.

I approach Ruhn, grabbing his hair with one hand and rubbing his back with the other. It doesn't take him long to get up and wipe his mouth with the sleeve of the shirt he was wearing under his leather jacket.

“Did you have fun?” That was all Ruhn asked me when he could speak.

“It was the most fun day of my life. In truth.”

“Great. So it was worth it.” My partner speaks still breathlessly and looks at me with satisfaction in his eyes.

He was much paler than usual though.

“I think we can go home now.” Ruhn declared

“I think we can face the roller coaster one more time.”

He looks me up and down in disbelief and I can't help the smile that appears on my lips. Ruhn gives me a playful shove and starts walking toward the exit.

I run until I reach him, intertwining our hands. I try to kiss him, but Ruhn avoids my face.

“I'm not going to kiss you tasting like vomit.”

“What nonsense! I've seen you worse.”

“I can't argue with that.”

We walked in comfortable silence to our apartment. As soon as Ruhn passes through the door and takes off his boots and hangs his jacket on the wall, I grab him with my hands in his strong arms. I look deep into those violet blue eyes, noticing the confusion in them.

“I also love you because you are brave, beautiful, my mate and…”

“Fuck you Lidia!”

Ruhn shows me the middle finger in response to my mockery and I throw myself on the couch, laughing uncontrollably, while I hear him close the bathroom door.