#shut up kirstin

[pixiesfz]

teammates k.c

plot: you vowed never to date a teammate every again.

warning: suggestive, sorry Courtney Nevin I love you

You swore you would never date a teammate again.

At first you opened your arms to the idea, your heart exploded when your crush kissed you at your game at the under 17’s World Cup.

You remembered Courtney’s smirk when you backed away with fluttery eyes and blushed cheeks.

You didn’t know the heartbreak it would cause you months later.

“Courtney we only see eachother at camps I- I don’t think I can do the long distance anymore” you sobbed to the blonde girl who sat on the bed next to you.

Courtney stayed silent, looking down at her feet.

“Please say something” you begged, leaning over to grab her hand.

“I slept with someone” she blurted out and you quickly pulled your hands away, your mind ran a thousand miles per hour.

You stayed silent as she was now the one who was begging from a sound out of your mouth.

“With who?”

“Just some random girl- I swear it didn’t mean anything I swear” she talked but you jumped off the bed.

“Courtney I need you to stay away from me right now, or for a while” you muttered, walking back to the door.

“y/n”

But it was too late you had slammed the door shut, making your way to your and Mary’s shared room.

You swore never to date a teammate again.

You had met Kerstin through Mary, constantly having to deal with the girl FaceTiming her Man City friend. “Fowler let your friend sleep” she laughed as it was clear you were trying to sleep in the background.

“Please listen to her Mary I told Kyra I would sit next to her in the bus and she won’t let me sleep”

You heard the Dutch woman’s laugh in the other end as Mary huffed.

During many camps after that you were invited into the FaceTimes, sometimes even talking to Kerstin yourself whilst Mary’s in the bathroom or running errands.

You found your cheeks blushing one time after a game, you were talking to Kirsten as Mary was washing her hair for the teams dinner tonight.

“I took Inspiration from you” she smirked “oh how?” You asked and she lifted her arm

You tried not to draw your eyes to the veins that popped out but you couldn’t help yourself. “Look a number three, inspired by your hatrick” she laughed and you rolled your head back “what is it you Australians say…you’re a gun!” She cheered and you blushed, too embarrassed to see the notification that Kirstin had taken a screenshot at the interaction.

Mary walked into the room with her hair wrapped up in a towel “looking fancy” you stated and panned the phone to her “nice Fowler, looking scrumptious” the Dutch girl laughed and you joined.

“if you guys are ganging up on me now I wonder what it’s going to be like when y/n joins city” Mary sighed and Kerstin gasped “your joining city?” She asked and you nodded your head “signed a contract not that long ago, so surprise?”

You were welcomed to City with open arms from all the girls Alanna taking you under her wing as she felt protective over you.

After all she was the one who caught you crying in the hallway after Courtney had told you she cheated, your eyes filled up with so much tears you could barely see.

“How’s Manchester treating you?” Allan’s asked as you sat with her and Leila, a Spaniard you had grown close with.

“Good I’m enjoying my time here everyone is so nice”

Whilst the three of you sat in the corner Jill cornered Kerstin who was ‘subtly’ looking at you from the other side of the room.

“You like her” Jill piped up and Kerstin jumped “nuekan!” She whisper yelled and Jill smirked “no I don’t” she denied.

“Yes you do”

“No I don’t”

“Yes you do”

“Yes I do”

Jill smiled triumphantly and clapped her hands together “then ask her out” Jill encouraged

“Ask who out?”

The two Dutch girls widened their eyes at Mary who had innocently jumped in on their conversation “uhm” Kerstin started and Jill looked around.

“Nobody”

“Y/n”

The two spoke at the same time and Mary’s eyes widened as she turned to her friend and hit her “why did you tell Jill before me” she said as Kerstin pulled away “ow stop” she said as Jill laughed and turned to Mary, pulling her away from her friend.

“So” Jill trailed off “do you know what y/n thinks of Kerstin?” She asked and Mary’s face fell and with that so did Kerstins “oh my god” she groaned.

‘I’m so stupid’ she thought but Mary grabbed her arm “It’s not that she doesn’t but it’s just that she doesn’t date teammates, she’s very big on it” Mary said and Jill shrugged “why?”

“Well when we were younger her and Courtney dated during Matilda’s camps and well when Courtney moved to Leicester and y/n stayed in Melbourne well…” she trailed off

“It’s easy for a couple to break up cause of long distance” Kerstin said as she thought of couples she knew “it wasn’t just the long distance, Courtney cheated on her and it really hurt her, so she’s vowed ever since” Mary said and the two girls nodded “oh” was all Kerstin said as she looked over to where you sat.

You were roomed with Mary for your first away game as your international teammate now was on edge from keeping Kerstins secret from you.

“You and Kerstin are close” she spoke up and you blushed, thankfully you were facing away from your friend so she couldn’t see the small smile that erupted on your face.

“I guess” you shrugged and Mary nodded “I know you vowed off dating-“

“Mary” you warned her and she groaned “I know but Kerstin isn’t like that”

“Yeah well I thought Courtney wasn’t like that either” you defended and Mary dropped her head “look” you started “if we weren’t teammates and there was no chance of having a weird team dynamic after we break up sure yes I would take her on a date” you shrugged

“I mean she’s nice, really cute, makes me laugh aswell as laughs at my jokes and has the tattoos that I’m attracted to and sure she would probably make a good girlfriend and-“ you stopped talking as you looked up to your fellow Aussie who was grinning ear to ear.

“I like her” you realised

“You like her a lot” Mary sang out and you slapped her.

You didn’t know what to do with your newfound information. Everytime Kerstin came up to you at trainings or at games you blushed and ran away like a little school girl.

“Y/n/n what’s up?” she asked you one day as she ran behind you “oh nothing” you trailed “any weekend plans?” She asked shakily as you both stopped.

You could lie and say no just incase she wanted to hang out but you found yourself wanting to hang out with her, by yourself…with nobody else there.

“None at the moment why?” You asked with a smile and the girl blushed “we should go out for coffee or lunch or something” she said and your breath hitched “or we could not-“

“I’d like that actually” you smiled and the Dutch girl nodded “great”

And with no thought your mouth betrayed you.

“Sounds like a date”

And you ran off.

The weekend came and you found yourself with Kerstin walking through a couple of clothe stores before you went out.

You couldn’t lie and say you didn’t like the way how Kirsten’s body would press behind you when you looked at a top for too long.

“That would great on you” she mumbled, her breath hitting your neck due to the height difference.

The top was nice and you were looking for your size until and idea popped into your head.

You turned your body to her, faces inches apart “how about we buy a piece of clothing for eachother and wear it out”

“wear it to our date?” She asked and you smiled, nodding and dropping your head to hide your blush.

“Okay but the top I like for you is near so close your eyes” she said with a grin as you did so “you pick yours then I pick mine I saw something at the start that is perfect”

Kerstin tried to be quick as she picked up a flowy top near where you stood, she remembered how your eyes lingered on it when you walked in.

“Okay I’m done” she announced before you smiled, a jump in your step as you made your way to a sweater vest that you knew that she would like and you knew she would look hot in.

“Okay I’m done too” you said and the Dutch girl laughed “alright let’s go pay and then get changed because we are already five minutes late to our reservation”

Getting changed you tried to ignore the way your heart was racing when she picked out the top that you secretly hoped that she would.

Kerstin stepped out with a grin “Love it” she smiled and lifted up her arms to flex as you laughed but secretly admired.

You both sat down and ate, Kerstin offering to pay as she invited you out. “Well next time I’m paying” you told her

“Next time?” Kerstin asked and you sheepishly nodded “yeah”.

It wasn’t until your next international camp that your teammates buckled down on you.

“No love life in Manchester?” Kyra teased as you smiled and you blushed, ignoring the stare on your face from a certain blonde.

“She would tell me” Alanna boasted and Mary choked on her food “no she would not” Caitlin told her “Yeah Lani if I was y/n I wouldn’t want you Interrogating my new girl” Mackenzie laughed.

“Well is there?” Charli asked with a grin and you shook your head as a ‘no’ but your facial expressions betrayed you.

“Who?!”

“What?!”

“I have to approve!”

“Aight everyone off her” Mary laughed before Steph quirked her eyebrow “you know” she stated and Mary shrugged “Well I’m the one who has to leave our room whenever she comes over” she groaned and you laughed from your spot.

“So does she follow you for all your matches?” Teagan asked and you nodded “you could say that”.

You laid on top of Kerstin, straddling her hips as you kissed down her neck “you know people are starting to catch on” you smiled, lifting your head up to press a kiss to her lips.

“So let them I don’t care” she mumbled “you’re just saying that cause you’re enjoying me right now.

“I have a pretty girl on top of me what else is there to ask for?”

“The FA cup?” You perked up as you both laughed.

“I’m just happy I finally got my own room this camp” you tutted “also my team knows I’m seeing someone but they don’t know who”

“Even Courtney?” Kerstin asked and you nodded. You saw hunger creep into your soon to be girlfriend’s eyes as you talked about your ex.

“I don’t like that your with her for the week” she said, her grip tightening on your hips.

“Then why don’t we show her that I’m taken” you smirked , leaning back down and kissing Kerstin.

You moaned in pleasure as she moved her lips down your neck, sucking hard on certain parts, knowing when to stop so they wouldn’t show up for your Matilda’s game.

You decided that you liked it when Kerstin was jealous.

You broke away as Both your hands went to the ends of your top, trying to take it off before knocking was heard at your door.

“Y/n!” Little Harper Gorrys voice yelled out as you rolled off Kerstin pulling your top back down “ow” you cursed and threw a blanket over Kerstins body who was silently laughing at your fall.

Opening the door you looked down to Harper who was smiling “you make weird noises in your sleep” she giggled and you nodded “where’s your mum?” You asked and she pointed down the hallway where you saw Katrina talking to Allanna who was on the phone.

“There you are Harps” Katrina smiled and walked over to you where Harper put her hands out for her “go to mama” you coed as Allanna got off the phone.

“Hey you and Kerstin are close yeah?” she asked and you nodded “yes” you nodded, panic laced in your voice as the said girl was hidden underneath a blanket metres away.

“Jill called said she’s not at the hotel they’re staying at” she said “oh” you mumbled, trying to look around your room to see if there was a clear body on your bed.

But a gasp was heard.

Katrina had her hand to her face and the running footsteps of both Kyra and Mary were heard as they went to your room.

“You have a hickey!”

“I know who you y/n is seeing!”

The mother daughter duo spoke at the same time as all eyes returned on you.

“Did your girlfriend follow you to Netherland for one game?” Alanna asked as Katrina laughed.

“That’s who you’re seeing?” She asked, putting the pieces together and you sheepishly nodded.

“Who?” Alanna asked, still confused as your nerves rose but a hand grabbed onto your back for comfort.

“Jeez Lani you’ve suffered one too many concussions in your life”

“KERSTIN!”

she latched onto your waist and placed her head on your shoulder “surprise?”

[ontinetine]

DID ARCHIE JUST START HIS OWN JUSTICE LEAGUE AT 9 AM

[kittyboones]

🍁🌈💜 for cameron ?? ♡ ( @caffeinatedkissesxx )

😭🥺😳 thank you for the ask lyell @caffeinatedkissesxx​, you’re a true MVP for letting me talk more about Cameron😌🥺

🍁 How did your f/o and s/i meet?

I think Cam knew of me longer than I knew of his existence, but I did know of the new kid at Padua, just didn’t know his name, you know? We also shared a math class, which is maybe the subject I’m the worst at, so when he offered to tutor me, I was very grateful.  When he was tutoring me, he asked me if I had a date to the prom and I said I would go with my friend Kat because neither of us had a date, so he offered to take me.

🌈 Do you have any LGBT+ headcanons about your f/o and/or s/i? If so, what are they?

I haven’t had Cam as an f/o for long, but the bi vibes I’ve gotten from him so far are immaculate! I think they’re stronger than mine! so I definitely have a headcanon he’s bi. My s/i is also bisexual panromantic!

💜 How does your f/o and s/i flirt?

Cameron is very helpful and when we were first just getting to know each other, he was kind of curious and would ask so many questions, but as someone who loves being paid attention to, ✨due to past experiences ahem✨,  I kind of liked it. He still pays a lot of attention to me, which I appreciate.                                  I’m a bit more.. awkward so maybe I’ll give a compliment or a very flustered “pick-up line”, like possibly “You must be tired from.. being on my mind all day? that can’t be right, sorry-”

bonus if you’re still reading, I accidentally got distracted while answering this so here are some gifs I made when I was distracted!

[ultraviolencced]

everyone who survived the tdc express live pit is braver than any us marine

[heartbreakgrill]

Annabel Lee; Matthew Gray Gubler

a/n: I usually hate wedding imagines BUT fuck I watched Jim and Pam’s wedding scene again and just had to. Then I got carried away...

description: just getting married to mgg

You ran your fingers down your corset, gripping the red roses in your right hand almost too tightly. The doors that led inside the hall were shut, but you could hear the murmur of the guests awaiting the ceremony to start. Your bridesmaids- your sister, and Kirstin- and his groomsmen- Shemar and Steve- stood before you, casually chatting. Everyone was waiting for your cue, which you weren’t quite ready to give. You needed a few more seconds to breathe.

Your dad (or whomever, I know some of y’all got daddy issues) tapped your elbow, “You ready, honey?”

You looked at him with wide eyes, feeling your breakfast in your throat. “I don’t know. I feel like I’m gonna vomit. Everywhere.”

Kirstin overheard your confession. She turned on her heel, worry in her eyes. Your sister followed her over to you. The three of them crowded you. Your sister set a hand on your shoulder, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothings wrong. I’m just nervous,” you confessed as your hand landed on your skirt. You kept feeling the dress as if to ground yourself.

“For what?” Kirstin prompted.

You shrugged, “I don’t know. Like, everything. Like, yeah.”

“Girl,” Shemar interjected, “that man is so in love with you, it makes me sick. You’ll be okay.”

Steve added, “Oh, for sure. He never shuts up.”

Your face flushed and a shocked-in-love expression flooded it, “Really?”

“You look like the equivalent of the gushy eyed emoticon,” your sister laughed. “I think you’re okay.”

“Yeah, I think I’m okay,” you breathed out.

Your sister smoothed your skirt before returning to her position with everyone else. Your dad tucked his arm into yours, “You ready?”

“Ready.”

The doors swung open. Steve and your sister began to float down the aisle, but stopped halfway down. You couldn’t see him over Steve’s head, but you saw Paget at the top of the aisle, smiling proudly. She glanced down to her left and you saw just the slightest bit of brown hair flop in the air. You smiled widely, but became confused when the organ stopped and an upbeat song came on.

Your sister spun around towards you. She leaned around Kirstin and Shemar and winked. Suddenly, she started dancing to the Bruno Mars song. You groaned, tossing your head back and leaning your weight in your dad. Your forehead landed on his shoulder and he chuckled, patting your hair.

You peaked up to see Kirstin and Shemar join their flailing dance movements. Some of your family and friends were pulled up to dance with them. Your eyes flicked across the room, watching everyone engage in the loving moment. Your eyes found the front of the room and landed on Matthew’s.

He was grinning dumbly, hands crossed in front of his tux. He had shaved for the occasion and his hair was short. But, his personality still showed through the little crooked bow tie at his throat and his bright red Converse. His left foot was tapping along to the song and he tossed his head back to laugh. When his head came forward again, his eyes met yours.

He literally gasped, eyes widening. He hit Paget with his shoulder, nodding towards you. She looked at you and you briefly met her eyes, smiling so wide. She gushed to Matthew about you, and he only said, “I know.”

Your dad pulled you forward, urging you to dance with everyone else. You resisted a little, embarrassed by all the eyes that were landing on you. But, you grabbed his hands like you were a little kid again, giving in the numerous spins he tucked you into. He dipped you, letting your head fall towards the floor as a guttural laugh fell from your lips. When you were lifted back onto your feet, you shook your hips and spun around on your own.

You had made it about halfway down the aisle and the song was halfway over. You let go of your dad’s hand, finding Matthew’s eyes again. You needed to touch him, to hold him. You balled up your dress in your hands and ran up to the risers. He grinned down at you, about two steps up from the floor.

“Well, hello,” his cheeky voice remarked. You held out your hand and he didn’t hesitate to grab on. You pulled him into the aisle, his other hand coming to rest on your hip. He swung you round and round, rocking side to side as the song continued on. Everyone looked towards you, still dancing.

Eventually, the song winded down. Matthew held your hand as you climbed up the steps, feet aching in your heels. He straightened out the bottom of your dress, drawing awes from the crowd who was settling down. You let out a hasty breath, feeling somewhat sweaty from the dancing. Matthew stepped up beside you, Paget standing between you.

“Alrighty, then,” she remarked, brushing off Matthew’s shoulder. The room laughed a little at what had just happened. Once they silenced, Paget looked between the two of you. “So, I have the awesome honor of officiating these two’s wedding. Matthew officiated mine and Y/N sang a song at the reception. They hadn’t been together yet, but at the reception, they danced for hours. I remember talking to Gube after the night ended and I mentioed Y/N. He told me that he was planning on going to buy her roses the next day, that he was going to show up at her apartment with the proposition of going to Vegas and getting married.”

Matthew held your eyes in his, lips pressing together as a sheepish expression came over him. Your eyes widened, squeezing his hand in yours. “What?” You mouthed. He shrugged, eyes flicking away cheekily.

Paget laughed at your interaction, “Yeah, don’t worry. I talked him down. I told him to bring you a coffee, considering she’d drank plenty that night. I told him, coffee and roses. And ask her to dinner. He called me the next night and told me that they were going to be painting birdhouses that weekend. I told him that he was literally the weirdest man I had ever met. And then he called me again on Sunday and told me that they’d kissed. And, despite me urging him to wait, he went out and bought this ring.”

Paget held up the ring that was going to be on your finger room. You gasped, looking up at the piece of jewerly. Tears flooded your eyes at the realization. Matthew tugged on your arm slightly, drawing your watery eyes back to his.

Paget continued on through her speech, though you could barely focus on anything but his eyes. They were so, so thoughtful and loving, and you just wanted to hug him. He kept you grounded by rubbing his thumb over your knuckles, the rough edge of his thumb soothing your senses.

When it came time for your vows, you thought you were going to burst. You went first, “Um, okay, I had it written down, because I knew I would ramble, but I kinda just want to ramble.”

The guests chuckled at your words. You continued, “When I first met you, I thought that you were just the coolest person ever. You wore these big, colorful shoes and patterned socks which you always made sure were visible when wearing pants. You had all these cool kimonos that you’d wear on set all the time and you always made sure everyone laughed at least once a day, no matter if the scene we were shooting was sad or terrifying. I was so intimidated by you because you were this really successful actor who everyone in Hollywood says is some heartbreaker, but then I was eating cheese on set and you came up beside me and started talking to me about birds. Like, rattling off stupid facts about birds. And I think that’s when I was in love with you.

“But of course, I didn’t really know it. I was kinda just blindly finding companionship in you. And then, one day, you walked into my trailer one day after shooting and told me about this Edgar Allen Poe poem. You pulled out your journal and showed me this pen drawing of me, like, my face! And beside it you had written, ‘tell Y/N about Annabel Lee.’ And that’s when I knew I was in love with you.”

You took a moment to sniffle and draw your thoughts. You noticed Matthew’s bottom lib wobble and a thin line of tears fell down his chin. You reached up and wiped at his cheek with your thumb. He leaned into your hand.

“Matthew, everyday with you is a literal adventure. You force me out of my comfort zone in the best way possible. Without you, I think I’d still be avoiding phone calls with people in general. You’ve taught me to be fearlessly brave and to love myself more than anyone else. Except you, of course. You, I love more than anything. More than everything. You are larger than life and bigger than any stupid argument we could ever have. I love you.”

A bout of silence followed as Matthew attempted to refrain from sobbing. He thought about what to say before beginning with, “I bought a pair of socks with dinosaurs and hearts on them just because of you and this stupid song you showed me about dinosaurs being in love. This was before we got together. You told me how much you loved them and even though they cost like $20 and I couldn’t find them again, I let you have them.”

You gaped at the man, a slightly annoyed smile present. Of course. He winked at you and went on, “I always did stupid stuff like that. Like, going out of my way in the morning to get you those mini pancakes from the coffee shop that I lied and said was right across the street from my apartment. You didn’t know that until. You also didn’t know that I went to three different states to find you a birthday present that was literally just a blanket. But it was so worth it to see you curled up on the couch with it. And then, of course, there’s the little things, like filling up your car with gas and pretending like you just hadn’t known you didn’t use that much. Watering your plants without you knowing. Always making sure I buy you the same type of food I’m getting even if you’re not hungry because you are hungry.”

Laughter came again. Matthew shook his head, eyes crinkled, and he continued, “I’m not boasting about how great of a partner I am. No, I’m just telling everyone, telling you, that I love you. I would and do go to the ends of the Earth for you because you are my world. I don’t know how else to end this than to end it with our true beginning; ‘For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams of the beautiful Annabel Lee.’ You are my Annabel Lee.”

Everything moved on pretty quickly as you recited more repetitions and slid the rings onto each other fingers. Eventually, you were being prompted the room as Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Gray Gubler.

“That sounds ridiculous,” he leaned into your ear.

You giggled in response, squeezing his shoulder. Paget announced that you were to kiss and, as if he couldn’t be more dramatic, Matthew swooped you across his body. He dipped you, leaning down as you held onto his hand and shoulder and kissed you deeply. The room erupted into applause.

And you lived with no other thought than to love and be loved by him.

[dcwrdvm01]

A Much Needed Conversation: The Future of Art and Technology in Crypto

A researched Think Piece for English 167/GASP 103Q with Professor Katie Brokaw at UC Merced.

Written by Darah Carrillo.

The one thing you can't escape right now. If you have a phone, a social media account, friends, boomer parents, a sibling with a Tiktok account they probably shouldn't have; you get the idea, if you exist and have landed on this essay, chances are you have already heard of NFTs. You might understand them, but it's likely you don't. It's also likely that you have a pretty biased, slight disdain for them despite your lack of knowledge, unless you are a famous millionaire or a tech-bro looking for a way to become friends with famous millionaires. If you like art and hate capitalism, or if you have a brain that can still hear about the crisis of our planet without immediately shutting down, you can at least conceptualize that NFTs don't sound very good for anyone that doesn't spend their whole day on Discord, trading crypto and typing words into AIMade.Art. 

At first glance, cryptocurrency and NFTs can provide a sugar coated, hopeful look into the future with quick money schemes, reliable investing, and ways to receive real, tangible profit and recognition from digital art beyond likes and retweets. Yet, the consequences that these energy-based digital ventures have are also completely real although hard to digest when it all seems so distant, as if it were all a part of some shared lucid dream. This isn't a dream and these innovations don't just exist on some cloud. They are man-made, relying on natural resources, destroying our ecosystems as we speak. Furthermore, the future of art is also at stake with creators being left on the backburner while million-dollar corporations such as Adidas take number one spots on NFT platforms. Technology is here to stay, art is needed more than ever, and the greediness of corporations is a deeply rooted issue we can’t afford to ignore anymore. Whilst it is easier to turn a blind eye to whatever Elon Musk wannabes are plotting in the tech-world, if you care about art and the planet I assure you this is a conversation you want to be part of.

For starters, familiarizing yourself with the basics of this digital phenomena is unavoidable. It is pretty hard to grasp just how bad NFTs and crypto can be if you don't first understand some basic ideas, but do not fear, I will be simple. A computer completes a puzzle, a process termed mining. A process called Proof of Work then takes place verifying that this computer is completing hard enough work and adding "new blocks" to the blockchain with some level of difficulty. Once your computer is at it enough, you receive currency in a token known as bitcoin. Voila. Mass amounts of energy used up and you now own cryptocurrency. These tokens or currencies can be traded, with numerous different "coins" being in use such as Dogecoin. Thus they function as stocks of a sort, holding value through scarcity and popularity. It is important to note that transactions on the blockchain are mostly public, which provides a sense of transparency and accessibility for users. The blockchain also adheres to the concept of decentralization which presents the idea that these records, or blocks of data, are immutable once added on. Still, some researchers like Kirstin Cornelius argue there may not be any real method of accountability in these blockchains due to anonymity, despite their boasting transparency. This is an important point to note in light of claims of money laundering and other illegal acts through crypto.

As more and more users and computers attempt to earn Bitcoin, the amount of energy required to complete these transactions goes up as well. In a 2022 article, Jon Turby presents the damning realities that the Proof of Work process entails for the planet, with Ethereum's mining and verification process consuming energy at the scale of the entire Republic of Ireland and Bitcoin's 2021 emissions being projected to cause approximately 19,000 future deaths. Cornelius, Turby, and numerous other scholars have proposed a much-needed shift away from the Proof of Work process, but most developers are discouraged from this due to its commonality and "essential" nature to the mining process.

NFTs too are already being supported by these same PoW reliant blockchains. They exist as tokens through a slightly different process called 'minting'. Yet, they add a completely new strong point to cryptocurrency which is acting like real assets with ways to verify authenticity, smart contracts to transfer ownership, detailed history of every minted nft, and most importantly lots and lots of value. Here are only a few of the records set and broken by NFTs and their creators: 

"... $2.5 Billion in sales just within the first two quarters of 2021." - Scientific Reports

"Grimes sells digital art collection for $6M" - The Guardian

"Beeple sold an NFT for $69 million" - The Verge

When first reading about NFTs all I could think was “are those numbers even real? where is all this money coming from and where is it going?”. Well I don't think this will come to any surprise, but that money is mostly staying within the elites. As Turby powerfully writes, "the polluting costs of NFT trading and other types of blockchain activity are passed onto society, while the commercial benefits are retained privately". But why is that? Aren't NFTs this revolutionary tool supposed to finally give digital artists credit for their hard work and talent? It hasn't really been working that way. 

Anil Dash, co-creator of some of the first classifiable NFTs via blockchain-technology, wrote a powerful article titled "NFTs Weren't Supposed to End Like This" for The Atlantic. In this article (a must read for anyone learning about NFTs and crypto) Dash simplifies the concept of NFTs, what they were created for, and how they have been taken over by what he calls "tech-world opportunism". To understand the concept of NFTs as “artwork” Dash explains that when you buy an NFT you don't buy the art, you buy a link to it. You are the rightful owner… of a link. This echoes the thought that "the NFT should be understood as the autograph, not the art", as said by the co-founder of CoinMetrics. Consequently, we can assume that an NFTs value relies almost solely on popularity and reputation of the "artist" or "art".

The academic article "Quantifying NFT-driven Network in Crypto Art" explains how the importance of popularity is reflected by earnings on the NFT-selling platform Foundation. The article starts by noting how the public nature of the blockchain allows for tracing of the patterns between artist and collector relationships, artist earnings, and success rates; something that has historically been kept private, usually only known to consumers in high society. Because transactions on the blockchain are public it is easier to research these aspects of artist growth and success. Yet, research shows that exclusivity remains a defining trait of art even on the world-wide web, with invite-only features and bigger investments coming from small groups of "collectors". The authors find very important correlations between who invites an artist, how popular they are before arriving on the platform, and how much they are able to earn. As comedian and content creator Ro Ramdin puts it, "NFTs are not a blanket good for artists, they are good for people who will have no trouble monetizing them and mobilizing their audience to purchase". It's important to note that the wealthy finding new ways to make a quick buck through innovative technologies is not new to crypto whatsoever. Some of the biggest (and earliest) earners in crypto have always been old money heirs, finance criminals and venture capitalists as presented in a video essay by YouTube channel Folding Ideas.

Back to the NFT specific conversation, Anil Dash adds in his piece that most NFTs sold today aren't exactly art, simply digital pictures of conventional media, i.e memes, screenshots, selfies, etc. This is not surprising in terms of media that has previously been traded on the blockchain, as explained in a paper analyzing the history of NFTs and Creators. However, the NFT platform itself was created to support artists specifically. Sadly, today we are seeing elite groups of multi-million dollar companies, established entrepreneurs, and A-list celebrities having a field day becoming crypto's biggest earners while artists without the resources and popularity are driven off the platform by an overwhelming amount of tech-trolls stealing their work. In an article by The Byte, Victor Tangermann tells of renowned comic artist Liam Sharp shutting down due to people stealing his art. They also address an even more insensitive NFT venture, using late Stan Lee's twitter to cash in for a superhero NFT. Tangermann ends by shedding light on non-artists suffering from this innovative space with "thousands of crypto enthusiasts out in the cold", referencing a developer fleeing with $2.7 million worth of crypto funds for an NFT project; an action so common in the crypto world that it has been coined as rug pulling. With such discouraging factors lining up against artists who already struggle to make a living off of their work it is hard to believe that there is a successful future awaiting digital art.

But where does the environment come into play in this money-making machine? As said in a striking piece by Charlotte Kent for WIRED, "There is no context in which we can speak of the environment separate from economics". In the article, titled "Can You Be an NFT Artist and an Environmentalist?", Kent explores different ways in which artists and businesses have attempted to compensate for carbon emissions through new Proof of Stake methods, carbon credits, and NFT's produced with carbon offsets in mind. Proof of Stake acts as a replacement for the Proof of Work methods widely in practice, requiring less than 1% of bitcoins energy consumption. Carbon credits on the other hand provide businesses the ability to offset their emissions by avoiding or removing carbon from the atmosphere. These credits, which can be bought, are limited by being "retired". This limits how much carbon a company is allowed to produce and later offset. As the crypto world looks for ways to balance project emissions through removable mechanisms, different projects have come to life such as Sven Erberwein's M Carbon Dioxide and CO2_Compound; two digital art pieces with carbon neutral and carbon offset outcomes in mind. Eberwein partnered with a company called KilmaDAO, who tokenizes carbon offsets in an attempt to hold businesses accountable for carbon emissions. Companies and projects like KilmaDAO x Eberwein hope to drive up the price of carbon and carbon offsets, "incentivizing alternative fuel programs and practices".

Kent, Eberwein, and other digital artists and tech-devotee's hold hope that society can collectively aim to rework technology, cryptocurrency, and the digital space as a whole, to embrace it as we move into the future. Certainly these carbon credits and off-sets sound easy enough to enact and produce cleaner results for crypto and digital art, but some scholars argue it is not that simple. Peter Howson and Alex de Vries write an insightful paper about the effects of cryptocurrency mining on some of the poorest and most vulnerable communities. From nationwide bans that have caused miners to use up energy in rural, low-income communities, to mining specific hardware requiring upgrades every 12-24 months (likely related to recent GPU shortages and price spikes). It is hard to accurately trace and regulate the effects of cryptocurrency in turn making it hard to attribute credibility to carbon offset projects. This paper lists numerous pledges that, at a closer look, cancel out exactly what they set out to do. One example is Luxxfolio, who pledged "commitment to green cryptocurrency mining and exchange" yet operates a mining operation on Navajo Nation territory, using up coal reserves where 14,000 indigenous homes don't have access to electricity. There are numerous examples of impoverished communities being left without power while mining companies thrive off cheap energy, so how exactly are any green deals being productive? It’s difficult to believe any change is being done when there are no ways to realistically quantify potentially sequestered carbon. When communities are suffering from disproportionate amounts of environmental impacts brought on by these multi-billion dollar ventures, how can we trust these companies and their pledges?

Howson and de Vries propose a worldwide ban on these polluting technologies and while that would solve the problem, who's to say that the world won't find a new capitalistic venture that will use as much if not more resources? With the world's population projected to increase to 10.9 billion by the end of the century it's hard to imagine that the world will be able to stay away from technological advances such as cryptocurrency. Already we are seeing mass shifts to the digital sphere with Apple Pay, Zoom, Tiktok, and more. Banning digital currency does not solve a problem that is rooted in greed. It does not tackle the lack of value our society places on art, arguably the one tool we could use to come together, educate each other, and pioneer change for the environment. Banning to me feels like running away from the issue instead of accepting that this is where our path as a human collective is taking us and yes, it is terrible and yes, we can fix it. But these solutions lie less with technology and more with the corrupting sense of individualism and greed we carry as a whole. Forget what proof of whatever you think will fix the problem, I want to know how we are going to fix the minds and hearts of those who don't even think twice about exploiting impoverished communities. 

Art, in each and every medium, is not at fault for the way that humanity has discarded the care for its home planet and for each other. If anything the lack of art, the historical elitism and privatization of it, has been a main factor in our detachment from each other. The way NFTs are headed right now provides no change for that, but it doesn't have to be that way. Shying away with our privilege and avoiding conversations about the issue won't help. Instead, advocating for the arts, advocating for our planet, and demanding change in the power structures that exemplify the detached nature all around us can get the ball rolling. All it takes is one conversation, one essay, one video, one documentary, one play, one photograph, one digital art piece. It is time we step out of our bubble and talk to each other, connect with each other, and create a future that has a place for all of us. 

Create digital art. Share digital art. Advocate for digital art spheres and platforms, created for and by artists. Just because famous millionaires and tech-giants have appropriated one of the spaces that was meant for artists, doesn't mean we can't create another one. Perhaps we won't be as powerful or wealthy, in all honesty we may never be. But if you can touch someone's mind, inspire them to take that next step for our future, spark a change in the way they see the world around them, the end result will be worth more than any opportunistic material endeavor, more than any currency man creates.

Author Notes:

This is an essay simplifying and touching the very tip of the giant iceberg housing crypto and blockchain technology. From where it began to the intricacies of niche NFT sub-cultures, this think piece aims to start a conversation and consequently can’t address every aspect of this phenomenon. I highly reccomend checking out the sources, and specifically the incredible video by Folding Ideas if you want an even more detailed understanding of this concept. Thank you for reading!

SOURCES:

Quantifying NFT-driven networks in crypto art.

Betraying Blockchain: Accountability, Transparency and Document Standards for Non-Fungible Tokens (NFTs)

Blockchain, climate damage, and death: Policy interventions to reduce the carbon emissions, mortality, and net-zero implications of non-fungible tokens and Bitcoin

“It’s A Blessing and A Curse”: Unpacking Creators’ Practices with Non-Fungible Tokens (NFTs) and Their Communities

Preying on the poor? Opportunities and challenges for tackling the social and environmental threats of cryptocurrencies for vulnerable and low-income communities

Grimes sells digital art collection for $6m

Can You Be an NFT Artist and an Environmentalist? | WIRED

Why NFTs are hard to explain. A disambiguation | by Nic Carter | Medium

NFTs Were Supposed to Protect Artists. They Don't. - The Atlantic

NFTs Are Getting Worse. Like WAY Worse. 

Line Goes Up – The Problem With NFTs

Inside the GPU Shortage: Why You Still Can't Buy a Graphics Card | PCMag

Future Population Growth - Our World in Data

NFT Developer Absconds With $2.7 Million Dollars

Artist Shuts Down Because People Keep Stealing Their Work to Make NFTs

honorable mention: two amazing and funny conceptualizations of NFTs in case this essay was a little much lol

A quick analogy on what an NFT is

time for some nft facts !

[weaselsmuses-aa]

Day 9:

A loud sigh as Emma lay out on her back. She was resting on a bed made of palm fronds, and over it was stretched out a few shirts and a sleeping bag that she’d nestled herself in. This palette was one of three that were strewn out next to her. Emma’s eyes felt extremely heavy. It’d been at least two days since she’d had any sleep. They’d just come out of a nasty storm last night, and it was still raining. Thankfully though there was now a tarp that they’d propped up over the sleeping area so they wouldn’t get soaked. 

                Tired eyes strained through the darkness over at Kirstin who was still waltzing around the raft. It didn’t feel like a good idea to leave her as the only one awake while both her and Lapis rested, but it wasn’t like she had much of any choice. Her eyes snapped shut already. Though she was listening for as long as she could, there was no denying that she was going to be fast asleep in a matter of a few moments. 

[askwaterwitch-perbear]

Monsoon Island resident headcanons

Kirstin

Traveled to Monsoon island for new opportunity Former mayor and resident of Poquoson 

Has little to no spine because she is a doormat but she gets help from her friends.

Not the brightest bulb in the world, but she makes up for it with enthusiasm and her own logic

She’s quiet, shy, but once you get to know her she’s a ton of laughs.

She will upgrade her tent eventually because she’s a little slow with crafting at first

Friendly amongst the villagers even the homely ones because she wants a strong community

Favorite activity is fishing, fruit gathering, and giving everyone bells who need them. 

Claims frogs can turn into Tigers

Favorite spots on the island include The Museum, The beach, The campsite, and the air-conditioned airport  

Pearl H. (Splatoon) 

A former resident of the city Poquoson 

She is very interested in the island vacation deal because she wants to live in resorts

She followed Weasel when they were forced to leave because even though she loved her home Weasel was more important and the tropical weather, come on! 

She’s an expressive loud, stylish, big extrovert, and will show everyone what’s she’s got!  Sometimes violent

She has her sneaky suspicions about everyone’s island but her own and still does not trust the getaway but her love for cash drives her.

Quick to turn her tent in for a house because she will not even sleep on a hotel bed let alone a cot she hurt her leg and won’t shut up about it. 

She is quick to denote whatever she’s got the money to spare when she’s feeling generous. She’ll roll out the Red Carpet all for Weasel. 

Has many roses and pink flowers surrounding her home

Favorite hot spots are the mountain views, the waterfall, and the beach duh!

Aquamarine

Former resident of the city Poquoson  

Absolutely will not sleep in a tent not for long over the dead shattered remains of her gemstone body she WILL have a home! A proper house

wants to be the center of attention and the first thing people see when they fly to the island.

Will kill anyone who messes with her flower bed and or decore outside.

She is not very open to socializing with the villagers if only to build up their confidence and strike them down for fun 

She will gladly let Swiss in so that they can judge each other’s progress. 

She doesn’t enjoy doing busy work but to decorate she has to 

Her favorite parts of the island are the Beaches, The Able Sister’s Shop, Town Hall, and civilized parks to have tea. 

Steven, Quartz, Cutie Pie, Deymayo, Diamond, Universe

Fresh resident to Monsoon Island

Updates his place as often as he can 

Always friendly to everyone even to the ones he shouldn’t be

Trying to get away and escape his problems, but low and behold his problems followed him

Tries to visit Spinel when he can but doesn’t like to get too close to her property 

He’s a real fashionista he will be wearing something new every day

Writes letters to everyone and all that he misses

Helps everyone in need and needs to stop trying to fix everyone

NEEDS THERAPY

Favorite spots on the new island the beaches, the forest where the campers are, the shops and exhibits in the museum, food stands 

Spinel

Fresh New Loud resident to Monsoon Island 

She lives in the tent for the longest time until her girlfriend rips her a new one!

Will attack on sight if you get too close and she doesn’t like you

Causes great noise and dangerous destruction around the island

Will send letters either funny ones or death threats unless she’s fallen for you then they are flirty

Considered the Island nuisance!

If she feels like denoting something to the museum she will but only if there is something in it for her 

CLOWN

There is a lot of junk and garbage around her house but it’s not filthy and unhabitable

Favorite spots are The Museum but not the gardens, The forest she thrives in, She’s curious about the beach but she doesn’t like sand, sometimes she’ll go into the town with her girlfriend just hope she doesn’t spit on your sign

Has some flowers when she WANTS to never just out of the blue

Very Creative and Crafty

Her favorite spots on the island include The rocks by the water, the mountain ranges, her little hovel where her home is with dirt surrounding her pathway to her door, backwoods where she fights people, behind the waterfall, pranking the campers 

Plays loud music (Heartbreak, Violent, and carnival-themed sometimes) 

She has a ring leader kind of style to her home very goofy and also a two-faced a false sense of security when you step into the rest of her house. Weapons! 

Lapis Lazuli

Long-lasting former resident of Poquoson 

Lapis has been down this road before and was very eager to get on with the tropical island getaway 

She loves to fish will go after the big deep-sea fish even swimming for them

Her house is on the beach obviously she only wishes she could move it to the water and have her house literally on the swallow water

She gathers rare and exotic fruits and is responsible for planting a lot of tropical seeds

Has a wide collection of costumes, but only one pair of sandals HA! 

More to her than meets the eye she’s very intelligent about survival even though it would matter less to her

Known as the island’s biggest loon for being so out there and creative  

Loves to paint and make art all day long. 

Her house is surrounded by nature she found or is fixing up definitely has a lawn chair to laze around in 

She’s pleased her long time techie friend was able to come to the island this time no idea why she’s wanna stick around though

Her favorite spots on the island are Swimming in the Ocean, Walking along the beach, Going into the lighthouses to look at the occasional passing ship, The Museum’s Shark Tank, and Flying over the mountains, Personally taking herself to Steven’s house for a visit 

Peridot

New Fresh Perspective Newcomer City Dweller to Monsoon Island

She came in from the city worried about her friend that was living around some very shady people

Intuitive, Naive, Smart, she is a big crafter she’s excited to give it a shot roughing it for a while

She left the comforts of the city to find herself in a camping island and plans to live out her favorite tv love drama camp pining hearts

She looks out for everyone as a crystal gem stands in her intentions, but many villagers believe she’s way over her head! 

She crafts like crazy and often too back in the day she didn’t have a lot of time to be productive since working in the city she has gotten a lot busier.

She loves to keep close to her closest girlfriends and even welcome some villagers who are curious about her living right under the crazy gem

She is often the butt of everyone’s jokes but she gets things done

Her favorite spots are the beach, the campsite, the museum bones section, and the town hall with anything she can report nehhehe 

[ontinetine]

About a month ago, one of my coworkers, who has worked in special education from the preschool through college level, turned to me and asked, "Do you have ADHD?"

I was like "ummm no?" because of the whole alphabet soup of diagnoses I have, ADHD is not one, and I always thought of ADHD as something where you run around or have bad grades or whatever. I was a Good Kid.

Coworker asks, "You just read as ADHD to me. What were you like at home as a kid?"

I'm like, "Well, I couldn't sit through a movie without pausing it every five minutes to run circles in the basement." (I still struggle with this; at home I go on my phone, and at the theater I talk too much, I'm so so sorry to everyone around me.) I tell my coworker a little about how my mind jumps tracks so fast that I'll say things seemingly out of context and someone, usually my mom when I was little, will get annoyed because they don't understand, and I'll get frustrated because I have to go back through miles of thought to explain. I've gotten better at this, but it happens. I couldn't sit through class without doodling or writing entire stories in the margins of my notebook.

Coworker says, "You sound like a kid who was smart enough to mask their ADHD using coping mechanisms. Obviously I can't diagnose you, but that's what you seem like to me."

That, plus this post, has fucked me up

What are the symptoms of ADHD besides hyperactivity? All I've been exposed to is stereotypes of what it's like to have ADHD and I want to learn more!

well here’s what it’s like for me

feeling like you need to Do Shit All The Time

like, literally every second

if you aren’t stimulated for even a second you’re incredibly bored

boredom is literally painful

it’s worse than death

worse than e v e r y t h i n g

feelin that sweet Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria™ any time you get teased or insulted

when you’re listening to music you always tune it out eventually

not picking up on social cues At All

actually, what are social cues?

can’t regulate attention

not interesting = not worth paying attention to

hyperfocus for hours

“wAIT ITS 4 PM WHAT THE F U C K”

did i forget to eat again

The Thoughts go from point a to point g in less than one (1) fuckin sentence

*someone says a thing* what *person repeats thing* what *person repeats thing again and you still don’t hear them but dont ask what again in case they think ur weird*

or, alternatively

*someone says a thing* what *person starts to repeat said thing; you reply less than a second after they start*

using subtitles all the time so you don’t have to go back twenty times to determine What The Fuck someone said

“sorry i tuned you out for that entire sentence can you repeat that”

needing e x t r e m e l y s p e c i f i c d i r e c t i o n s

EXTREMELY POOR VOLUME CONTROL TBH

tfw that thing u were working on falls apart and u cant redo it bc u already did it and that would be boring

long blocks of text are Extremely Hard to Read

ur fuckin brain works 12 times as fast as everyone elses. for every ADHD person it’s somethin different. for me it’s puns. ill choke on my own laughter at a pun an Entire Second before anyone else even gets it

RAMBLING

The Leg Bounce���

Disassociation

that ADHD feel when you

^^ that one is a True Marker of an ADHD person. only ADHD people understand.

[herzdieb]

💜💙💛💗💋💪🔊👏👑

i want to make sure you’re happy, i have a friend crush on you!, i just think you’re cute!, i want to give you a hug!, i want to kiss you!, i’d fight someone if they talked shit about you, I’m really glad i started following you!, everything you say is great wtf…, your blog aesthetic is lovely!

may i direct your attention to: “i want to kiss you!“ because yes, i will milk that and yes, how could you ever resist someone as charming as me.

but all jokes aside, you’re a fucking delight. i don’t know what you guys are breathing, drinking and eating up there in Scotland but i’ll forever be thankful for you and never doubt just how wonderfully talented you are. and don’t get me started at what a great friend you are, because i would never shut up.

it’s unfair really; kirstin is the full package, she could have left the photoshop talent to me at least! but seriously never stop your graphics inspire me on the daily and whenever you aren’t around, my muse gets all bored and i get nothing done in photoshop.

ASK GAME: send me an emoji come on, come on

[ontinetine]

Me, thinking about how much I love working as a naturalist: Hey baby? I can't wait until we have kids and can do educational things with them. Like going to the woods.

My wife, who has just finished watching Blair Witch: looks at me in absolute horror

[thegreenfairy13]

Salacious Start Part 1/2

A Gobblepot Fanfic. AU. Edward Nygma leaves Oswald Cobblepot for Mrs. Kringle. Heartbroken, Oswald tries returning the goods he bought for a very special night with his boyfriend. At the sex shop, he runs into sales assistant Jim Gordon and develops a massive crush. Read it on Ao3 here. 

Her name is Kirsten, or Kristine, or Kristen. Oswald doesn’t know, doesn’t care. All he knows is that her name, whatever that might be, numbs him, makes him feel weak to the core. Red hair, wherever he spots it, feels like being engulfed in fire; he’s sick of red hair, and frumpy glasses, and pencil-skirts. Heels make him want to gag.

Kirstine Krankle. That’s her name, probably, maybe, could be, doesn’t matter. Before that bigoted witch entered his life, everything had been fine. Deep down he knows it’s not her fault, but the wound is still too fresh, his love for Ed still too deep for him to think clearly. Only days ago, they had been in love, almost ready to go public, to tell the world that the entrepreneur Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot and his bookkeeper, Edward Nygma, are a couple. Of course, that was before Ed found Kirsten - and back to God, whatever that might mean.

“You know, Oz,” he said, holding his hand too tightly for it to be comfortable, sweating profusely while doing so, “I’m not really gay.”

The table had been set for a romantic dinner. Olga, his housekeeper, had placed flowers on the dining-room table, candles had been lit, silver cutlery and crystal-glasses sparkled in the pale light. A metal clamp grasped Oswald’s heart and squeezed it tightly.

“I’ve never been,” Ed carried on, and honestly, it would have been more merciful if he had just shot him into the guts. “You’ll understand, in my line of work, it wouldn’t look good if I was with a man.”

Oswald’s ears are ringing. Not really gay? What's that even supposed to mean?! What line of work? He’s a bookkeeper, for fuck’s sake! Not that he’d ever say ‘fuck’ out loud, he’s way too dignified for that, but in his own head, he can swear all he wants.

“I won’t deny it, I’ve been infatuated with you, but you’ll have to admit, we’re not suited for the long run,” Ed said, looking expectantly at the man who had only seconds ago been ready to spend his entire life with him. “It was a misstep, and I’m sorry if I hurt you,” he said gazing intently into his eyes. “But we can remain friends,” he suggested and Oswald wanted to vomit.

“I understand,” he said instead, forcing a broad smile onto his face.

And that was basically the story of how Edward Nygma walked out of his life.

Well, almost.

There was still this little, discreet, white plastic bag in the corner of his bedroom. It should have been a surprise for Ed.

Oswald knows Ed likes it rough. He himself isn’t particularly fond of pain but who is he to deny Ed his pleasure? So one fine day he set out and bought shackles with pink plush covering the metal, a whip, and a blindfold. He wanted to give Ed a special experience, an unforgettable night. Now, those items just make him want to cry.

Entering the sex-shop once more, even weeks later, isn’t any easier than it had been the first time. His heart is beating too fast, his hands are shaking, and not even his sunglasses grant him any sort of privacy. He’s constantly looking over his shoulder, hoping nobody he knows will recognize him here; despite the fact that those people would be shopping here too.

He rushes through the aisles, hoping to find a salesperson soon. Oswald just has to return the items before they drive him crazy.

He bumps into a man built like a locker: broad shoulders, heavy biceps, perfect abs, gorgeous blue eyes, hair like the color of the sun.

Swallowing heavily, Oswald reads the name tag: ‘Hi, I’m Jim,” it reads and there’s another button right next to it: ‘Don’t be shy, I’m bi.’

Oswald feels the blood rising up his cheeks as he takes the information in. His throat runs dry when the other man arches his eyebrow at him, staring him sternly down. All of a sudden, he can see the appeal of whips, shackles, and blindfolds with absolute clarity. And good graces, he does feel shy.

“Can I help you?” the man asks and if Oswald ever heard thunder, well, it’s not half as intimidating as this deep voice. It’s a low rumble, the sound of molten lava on its way to destroy entire villages. It's only purpose is to wipe out each and every resistance. Oswald’s knees go weak.

“Yes,” he squeaks, having never felt smaller in his entire life. The man talking to him is a Roman god come to life, he’s Apollo, he’s Ares, he’s gorgeous, perfect, beyond words.

And he?

He’s Oswald: too scrawny, too pale, too black-haired, and he’s got a disability. Ever since that damn car-accident, he limps, his knee is turned sideways at the weirdest angle and he can’t even outrun a snail.

‘Hi Jim, I’m bi,” could probably outrun a sports-car if he wanted.

Swallowing heavily, Oswald clutches the plastic bag tightly to his chest. And no, he’s definitely not ogling the man, not a bit, no sir! He’s just very tastefully checking him out, that’s all.

Jim rolls his eyes and waits for his tongue-tied customer to speak at last.

“I’m certain you can help me with all kinds of sorts,” Oswald blurts out, mentally kicking himself how that came out. For a second, the employee looks taken aback but he composes himself quickly enough. By that point, Oswald’s cheeks probably resemble a wildfire.

“I simply want to return some goods,” Oswald finally shares, slowly releasing his death-grip on his plastic-bag. In comparison to Mr. Ares, he sounds like a teenage girl talking to one of the Jonas brothers.

“We don’t take anything back unless the sanitary-seal is still intact,” Jim informs him cooly while already holding out his hand to take the bag from Oswald’s trembling fingers. “You’ll understand that in this kind of shop we only resell stuff if…”

“I perfectly understand,” Oswald interrupts. “And I can assure you that my seal is perfectly undamaged, untouched,” he rambles on, fighting the urge to bite his fingernails. “You can totally check if you want,” he adds nervously. “In fact, I’d love you to see…”

Oswald thankfully snaps his mouth shut when observing Jim’s eyebrows slowly creeping up to his hairline. It takes him a moment, but then he finally understands. Slapping a hand over his mouth he just stares at Jim, mortified.

“That,” Oswald stutters. “That,” he soldiers on, stumbling awkwardly through the words, “that wasn’t me trying to tell you I’m a virgin.” “My seal is broken,” he rattles on. “I mean if I had a seal,” he adds, earning himself a bewildered expression from his newfound Roman god.

Shaking his head, Jim takes the bag mutely from Oswald’s hands. “I think I’ll check for myself,” he mutters flatly and the raven-haired man prays for a hole in the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

One year! One year he had been with Edward, his first boyfriend, his only boyfriend. It just hits Oswald now how easy everything had been with him. Everything had progressed naturally, no awkward flirting on either part had been necessary, and thank god for that! He’s terrible at it!

To Oswald’s endless mortification, Jim tips out his purchases over the counter and checks if the original packing is indeed still undamaged. “You still got the bill?” he asks, not a hint of emotion to his voice.

“I, yes,” the embarrassed entrepreneur rasps out, checking each and every of his pockets and coming up with nothing.

“Sorry,” Jim tells him flatly. “Not taking anything back without the receipt,” he adds with determination and if that attitude doesn’t make Oswald’s blood run hot and cold at once! This man is steadfast, he can tell, and it’s a massive turn on.

But Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot isn’t used to taking orders. Especially not by some sales-assistant. He’s used to getting his will and right now, he wants to get rid of his Ed-memorabilia - right the fuck now.

“I’m sure there could be something arranged,” he whispers conspiratorially once he found his voice again. He doesn’t know it comes off as slightly disconcerting. “I mean,” he continues, dropping his voice an octave in order to sound more persuasive, “it won’t be that hard for you to just issue an invoice for your, eh, services." Oswald’s eyes wander down Jim's chest, reading the name tag once more, and really, somebody should have told him to be more subtle. "The tip I’d leave would be as handsome as you if you know what I mean, Jim,” he adds with a clumsy wink, trying to sound flirtatious.

Jim drops the bag as if it had bitten him. “I’m sorry?” he asks slowly, sending off all sorts of alarm bells in the other man's head. “I think I’ve misheard you,” he says, drawing out the words very slowly, almost angrily. He straightens himself. With his back stiffened and his chest puffed out, Jim looks even taller - and a lot more intimidating.

“I, no?” Oswald asks insecurely, shrinking another two inches.

Shoving the bag back into the pale man’s hands, Jim backs away. Eyes narrowed threateningly, he goes into a lecture the usual sales assistant wouldn’t dare to give a customer. “The button on my chest might say ‘don't be shy’, but that sure as hell doesn’t involve proposing paid sex," he informs him bluntly. "It's just our way of encouraging our customers to ask questions. If you need someone to fulfill your desires,” he adds with a knowing twitch to his lips and simultaneously shoving the bag back into Oswald’s arms, I’d go to another establishment. But I’ll happily answer any question on penis pumps you might have.”

With those words, he turns on his heels, leaving a mortified Oswald behind. Again clutching the bag helplessly, he’s right back where he started with the only difference that he made a complete fool of himself. Cursing under his breath, he tries figuring out how that encounter could have probably gone so terribly wrong. Worrying his lower lip, he considers calling after Jim but the man won’t even look into his direction.

Shoulders slumped, Oswald decides to leave the store and wait until Jim finishes work. Well, in hindsight he really should have given that idea a second thought.  

[howimetyourfather]

Snip Snip

June 1, 2022

I don’t know why I am crying right now. I’m feeling a lot of emotions and it fucking sucks. 

Albert just fucking texted me out of nowhere and was like very honest which I appreciate it didn’t string me along and said basically he’d love to meet me at a platonic level. 

Which I should be fine with so quite frankly I don’t really know why I am upset and crying. 

But I did delete my dating apps because it’s just not working, I cannot be sobbing over man that I have met on dating apps that’s fucking ridiculous. 

This is no way to start my hot girl Summer. 

I don’t even know why am crying because he was very cordial and nice and said he would meet me at a platonic level. 

And maybe I just thought in some delusion or fantasy or invisible string part of my mind that like there was something more and maybe it’s just a testament of how much I want love and how much I want to share my life with someone and it seems so fucking hard. 

And I’m crying because I want to share my life with someone because I have a lot to offer and I am actively like working on myself too so I want to share my life with someone who wants to share their life with me. 

So maybe that’s why I’m frustrated and crying because I guess I’m delusional part of my mind it just seem like it would click with him after eight years but I should’ve I’m not gonna say I should’ve just known better because the last few days talking to him were great.

As your Aunt Kirstin said, perhaps it was because we reconnected on a dating app where the intention is romantic or hooking up. 

I told Albert that I appreciate his honesty and he had to care for himself as well as for me in order to be open about how much capacity he has for love and other people. It still felt like being shot down. I guess that’s the part that hurts most. When you can see something beautiful and the door shuts in your face, it will fucking hurt. 

I guess if we’re being totally honest, I thought maybe just maybe... 

There could be something romantic between us. 

And I think that’s why it particularly hurt. 

I wanted something that he didn’t. 

That sucks. 

But that just means I can, should, will make space for someone who can give me what I want. 

Love always,

Mom

[briannamarguerite]

its really hard to find a good beta you can connect with you though :(

Hi love! Oh boy, do I feel ya, and I think a lot of writers in the fandom do as well. Writing is such a vulnerable thing (so first of all, yay! i’m proud of you for putting yourself out there it’s so fucking hard and people don’t even realize). But finding someone that will help you but also be just the right amount of gentle and ALSO match what you’re looking to get out of a second pair of eyes is just ... hard. 

My first suggestion would be to check out the people offering to beta for the @1dfanworksforcharity -- and see if there’s anyone you’ve always thought would fit your style offering their help. it might be a good way to get in with someone who now just betas for friends, or at least test out new beta styles (i think they’re going for very reasonable prices too!)

Second, I don’t always think you need a beta to read every single word of a fic to help you improve your writing overall. You could try reaching out (ug fucking scary) to writers whose style you like and just ask them to take a look at a sample of writing. This means less time commitment for them and they’d probably be really willing to help if it’s less of a lift. When i say find a beta to help, I mean find someone who will point out your blindspots. Like for me, the first time I had someone edit me, they’re like you’re using “feels” and “thought” and you don’t need to do that, you’re in the character’s head. And boom, one suggestion improved my writing by like leaps and bounds. I think some people are shut down to taking on more writers because betaing IS a huge time committment but even if you can get one or two helpful suggestions to things you didn’t notice you were doing -- you’ll see huge results. 

Third, if neither of those sound appealing, my suggestion is to NOT rely on those stupid lists that circulate on tumblr. Their tone is so damaging (at least imo) because anyone doing those things is immediately going to be defensive and feel shitty. An EXCELLENT resource that i’ve found is advice from literary agents. they’re the ones that get hundreds of submissions a day and see all the common problem areas and some of them have blogs, or twitter threads, or articles for advice. I love Kirstin Nelson’s blog on beginning writers’ mistakes (this is for more than just beginning writers it’s just their name for it) like this post about common problems with opening pages (http://nelsonagency.com/2017/08/all-9-story-openings-to-avoid-in-one-handy-post/) if you click on the tags you’ll find a bunch of posts like that. It’s free of snark and actually really helpful. 

That was long! Sorry! But I hope a tiny bit helpful? Anyway, I’m ALWAYS up for chatting about writing and so are a bunch of other writers here. I feel like it might seem cliquey sometimes, and it’s ridiculously terrifying (eek at least for me, i might be projecting here) to reach out to people, but so many creators in this fandom are so friendly and willing to help!

Lots of love and good luck, darling!! xo

[mitchstongue-blog]

Slut Drop - Where Were We? (XXX)

(Mitch's POV)

"Wake up guys, we're getting food." I peaked out of my privacy curtain to see who was disturbing my slumber. Kevin. I love Kevin to death but please don't wake me up.

Everyone groaned as we all slowly got out of our bunks. We all looked dead.

We walked through the parking lot heading into the restaurant. It was a Subway. At least it was something new this time, most of the time we stopped at a McDonald's. Don't get me wrong, I love McDonald's just not all the time and it's very unhealthy.

I felt something brush against my hand. I looked down and realized Scott was trying to hold my hand, but we're in public. We haven't told anyone, not even our friends. He grabbed my pinky to make it less noticeable. Scott let go of my hand so he could open the door for me. What a gentleman.

"Thank you" I giggled.

We all ordered, got our food, and got back on the bus to eat.

After about two hours we arrived at the hotel. Esther told us all to wait in the lobby so she could give us some information. We did as she said and waited patiently for her to walk over after getting us checked in.

"Alright here are the schedules..." She handed each of us a sheet of paper explaining what well be doing each day we are here.

"...We will be staying here for three days, we have nothing today. We have a press interview tomorrow morning, be down in the lobby by 7:45 AM and Concert tomorrow night."

We asked questions if we had any and then left to our rooms. As usual it was Scott and I, Avi and Kevin, and Kirstin was normally by her self but she shared a room with Nicole to make things a little easier.

Scott and I finally got into our rooms and he set his stuff down quickly. He walked over to me and grabbed me by my waist, spinning me around so I was facing him. "Remember what I said earlier?" He said looking into my eyes.

"Mhmm" I hummed.

He pulled my chin up and leaned down to kiss me. His lips are so soft. He gently lied me down on the bed, crawling on top of me. His hand on either side of me, next to my head so he could keep his balance. I placed my hand his side and moving to the center of his chest sliding my hand down lower, and lower, and lower. Once I reached his bulge he let out a breathy moan. I slightly cupped it with my hand, squeezing it a little. He was hard. He let out of the kiss so we could both breathe and he began to kiss my neck, going lower to my collarbone. He began to nibble at my collarbone as I let out slight, breathy moans. He looked up at me and smirked.

"May I remove your clothing?" He asked.  I love that he respected me so much.

He got off the bed and pulled me up so I was sitting up. He raised my shirt and began to pull it off when...

knock.

Knock.

Knock.

UGH! Who could this be, ruining my time with my Scotty Buckets.

Scott walked over to answer the door and talked for a few seconds and then shut the door, walking back over to me.

"Who was it?" I asked. Wanting to know who ruined the moment.

"Esther, she gave us more information about tomorrow." Scott put the papers aside.

"Now where were we?" He leaned down kissing me and began to lift up my shirt. He took it off and threw it across the room. Hs hand slid down my back, then to my waist, then to the button of my jeans. He quickly un-buttoned them placing his hand on my shoulder, slowing pushing me to lay down. He pulled off my pants in a swift motion. He looked at the tent that had formed in my underwear. He bit his lip and lied down on top of me like before, his hand holding him up. He kissed me and began to grind his hips against mine causing me to moan into the kiss. He kissed down my neck once again.

After what seemed like forever he kissed down my chest. I grabbed his shirt as a hint I wanted it off. He took off his shirt and pants. He continued to kiss down my chest. My breathing getting heavier as he went lower to my waist band. He slid my underwear down and kissed my tip causing me to gasp. He took me in his mouth and pushed his head back and fourth, bobbing his head. I held on tight to the bed sheets and tried to hold back my moans but I just couldn't help it.

"arghhff Scott!" I moaned.

He looked up at me and smirked, continuing what he was doing.

"Im c-close" and with that I came and he swallowed.

He came back up to face me and gave me a kiss. "My turn" he chuckled.

[ultraviolencced]

not doin good lads