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ziracona · 4 years ago

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so can u tell us a little about ur characterization of Lisa?? What's she like inside and outside of trials? Does she have a lot of lucidity, what were her relationships with others like, would she ever get better, do you think? ( im SAD.) Just. What's she like!! Also, same for Sally? Oh! And I'm rly enjoying two songs by Meg Myers which maybe you'll like? Running up that hill (Cover) and Desire. Maybe check em out? :3 - Sleepy

Sure!

My Lisa is from a bit before the archives for her placed her (early 1970s), because I wrote ILM back when there was no date given for many killers or survivors, so I just hoped they were historically accurate with the things they did mention & went through a fairly exhaustive list of drained swamps in the Southern US & paddleboat makes & placed her according to that data (it’s been a bit so I don’t remember the exact date without looking up my notes) in the 1920s-1930s, I believe? And in her early 20s, since she’s described as a girl & young woman, which DbD usually does only for characters in their early 20s. (Which I’d still assume is her age, bc even though her archives, if you go by them, have her in her teens, they’re not connected to the events of her disappearance/definitely happened before them.)

In trials, Lisa has like 0 lucidity. I talk about this some in chapter notes, so I’ll try to give a quick overview instead but sry if I restart myself. She’s so starved that any time she sees a living being, she is just completely overcome with hunger and can’t do anything but operate on it. Very scary. Feral. Like being attacked by a starving animal. She’s super out of it, and is completely wild and violent and has no control, only the need to eat. Outside of trials, if no one is around, she’s lucid again, but will remember trials and what she did to people, and spends that time in horror and despair. She’s tried to kill herself before, because the last thing she ever wanted was to become the thing she swore vengeance on (the Entity’s a real cruel motherfucker. Did the same to Rin, to Philip, to everyone it could. Likes to really twist decent people into what they would most despair to be), but in the realm, she’s stuck as it. She’s not really aware for trials, but remembers them with decent clarity, and is in constant agony over what she’s done. Unfortunately, suicide does not take in the realm, and every one of her attempts failed, just like her attempts to maim or tie herself up so she wouldn’t be able to hurt people did. She’s horribly alone and despairing, and also in physical agony. She’s at the worst end of what a human can be at as far as emaciation and starvation while still being alive goes, and that’s physically awful. It fucks up your brain chemistry too, and everything is just really fucking miserable all the time. It hurts to move, it hurts to breathe, your breath smells tastes like rotten fruit but in a way that’s so much worth than that can sound. She’s so hungry, her addons are things like dragonfly wings consumed to give her extra stamina. That’s the kind of bare sliver of relief she ever gets. God, poor Lisa’s life is hell. She’s completely heartbroken and isolated and almost dead. As far as relationships go, she didn’t have any for a long time. No one can really interact with her, because she goes feral at the sight of food. She’s kinda utterly alone. But briefly, when Alex, Philip, Vigo, Benedict, and Sally were a group, she kind of got stumbled into, and after a kind of nasty first encounter, was able to regain lucidity around other people, and had a truly sweet and memorable and invaluable bit of time with love and friends and other people. She was kind of in love with Sally, who did her hair for her and was really kind to her, and Sally liked her too. They were close. Lisa was close with all of them. But when things ended the way they did, the Entity took that away. Lisa remembers it, but she could never get them or it back, and was cast aside and left behind until the end of ILM, when she finally got peace and found happiness in finally getting to be at rest in the arms of a friend. Overal, she’s a fairly young and wide-eyed, bright, cautious, fun and sweet girl by nature, now massively traumatized and hopeless and broken, but still with a truly incredible amount of that kind nature retained. She would have really loved reading fantasy novels aloud and exploring the worlds of lore and history, travelling, seeing other cultures and geographic features and animals. Enjoys fashion too, and has a heart for designing and making cool, personal and cultural and symbolic tied designs, and would have been both great at that and loved it if she’d lived long enough. (Shoutout to @artianaiolanthe who inspired the fashion take & it is so suited to her I love it). A little shy, but an extrovert at heart under it, just a nervous one. Loved people. Liked climbing trees and fording brooks and baking bread and throwing rocks and baseballs to knock a target out of a tree and win a prize at little town fairs. Didn’t get the length or quality of life she was owed, and it’s just not fair or okay at all. Liked to watch the stars.

As far as getting better goes, mentally, totally. If they could get her out of the realm or break the Entity’s connection, she’d immediately stop killing. She has never done it of her own free will. She’s a sweet small town kid who was just trying to live her life. As far as physically goes though, Lisa is in one of the worst possible spots. Unlike say Amanda, who was on death’s door but healed by the Entity, or the Legion, who weren’t injured at all, Lisa was on death’s door and like Adiris, did not get healed. Just preserved in that near-death state and forced to work in it. Honestly, it’s possible she could survive long enough to get to a hospital and be saved, but at best, she’d probably live another year. When you starve, your body begins to catabolize/eat your own tissue to save itself, starting with fat, and ending with muscles and organs, which, when it reaches the heart, kills you. Lisa was so close to dead, the organ damage was probably awful, and would leave her with complications that would take her very young. The most likely thing, since she was saved literally seconds before death, would be for her to step outside the realm and immediately die. However, it’s possible she got lucky on body damage and could be saved—kinda up to interpretation—and if say, she was around for Quentin’s Vigil going healing batshit, and got some organs repaired that way, she’d have a real shot. (I also am sad. Lisa was actually the only determinate character in ILM to me/that I wasn’t sure the ending for, and while I am very happy with what ended up being her closure, I also would like to see her live for even more love and peace TuT. Lol, if I ever end up doing my goddamn four fate route fics like I’ve joked now a truly dangerous number of times about doing [>.> me @ me] then maybe she will get a variety of lives in the end). I’m glad you wanted to know! I really like and pity her. This poor kid really did nothing wrong, much like Rin, and just got eternally tortured for asking for help and justice against the monsters who took her life so violently. Fuck Brittany. (Read: the Entity.)

Ahhhh Sally. My sweet, sweet girl. Uhhh, not sure which of the Lisa questions you meant for her too, so I’ll try to speed-answer them all? Sally’s intelligent and understanding and thoughtful, patient, polite, almost elegant despite how impoverished she spent most of her life—she just tries to act like a lady and treat people with as much respect and esteem as she can (unless they suck lol). She’s also very mentally damaged and not there though, and has extremely unstable mood swings, especially into despair. Her relationships with the other killers were limited. She talked to & was on polite terms with any who would talk to her and not be condescending or a dick so openly she’d pick up on it (so like, on cordial terms with Evan, Herman, Caleb if she’d been there that long, but not like, Kenneth or Freddy or someone who wouldn’t bother to put up an act). But mostly, after figuring out she wasn’t really of any use to them, they quit communicating with her. Sally has been extremely isolated since shortly after being taken. She believes that the survivors are innocent and suffering and knows that they don’t deserve the hunt, but has no way to stop the whole system, and has been convinced by the Entity that if she does a good job and earns moris, the ones she strangles to death get to stay dead instead of coming back after death to suffer endlessly again, so she works very dedicatedly and slowly trying to earn kills to save them. It took her physical eyes when it got her and lets her see through it’s powers, and uses that to randomize what survivors look like in her memory so she doesn’t catch wise it’s the same people over and over and she’s not saving them at all. It’s extremely tragic. God it’s one of the most cruel Entity tricks, which is saying a lot. Poor gentle woman is Sisyphus pushing a boulder up a hill day after day year after year and she doesn’t even know how hopeless and meaningless it all is. : (

When the Vigo-Philip-Alex-Benedict team was going, though, she met and attacked, then was convinced to instead befriend them, and quickly became very attached and well liked by them. Met Lisa while with the group, and became extremely fond of her and loving towards her and was truly, truly happy for a brief period of time. Still remembers her, even as lost as all her memories are. Not her name, but what she looked like to Sally, and how her hair felt, and how nice it was. Sally would have considered everyone in that group a dear friend, and in ILM, Philip most definitely becomes her deepest, closest, and best friend, just like she does to him. She’s a very faithful woman to her soul. Loved her family, loved her husband and mourned him, worked as hard as she could. Cared for her patients, and did her best in that hell until the Entity slowly whittled away at her sanity until it broke her mind and left her convinced the only way to end their pain would be to give them death, and she had to do it to save them. Sally loves little pretty things and neatness and collections. Flowers, bows and ribbons, china and colored glass. She would have treasured gifts like decorative holiday cards and carved animal figures and left them on her mantle or carefully tucked in lovingly organized and decorated books she could open to revisit the memory. Likes dresses and skirts and the way the wind feels. Hopeful and very enduring. Loving. Had a mom heart, and will never really get entirely over the loss of her children, but is strong and kind and will find new love that makes life still worth living in other people. Will remember both kindness and cruelty a long, long time. Loved Quentin from the second he gave her flowers (Dwight: Quentin, why did the entity let you have three moms? Quentin: Because I fucking earned it >:[“ [author’s note: he did. God that poor kid...]). Loved Kate from the day she sat with her in a hospital and held her hand. Is like that. Remembers small kindness and treasures them.

Sally could definitely recover. Not all the way probably, physically or mentally, but by far enough to be complete and happy and realized and who she wants. She never meant to hurt people, so she really just needs some stability, and I think she finds that with her new family. I mean, it is a lot to adjust to. It’s been like nearly 100 years. The Entiry broke her mind, and she’s got some damage that just probably can’t ever be fixed, but a lot can be, with drugs and treatments and therapy and kindness and a good support system, and honestly, the biggest things she needs are people to keep her memories together and herself present, and influences to protect her from being manipulated and controlled now that she’s so suggestible and easy to hurt, and she’s got that. I am 100% certain that while some things—the scatteredness, the ease of slipping into other moods especially deep sadness, the different way of thinking altogether—never leave her, she gets better in the most important ways and is truly happy and quite functional and what she wants to be. While there’s no way (yet anyway lol. Cybernetics that good when?) to give her new eyes since the Entity ripped hers out, and she’s blind now, and can’t be changed, her seeing eye dog does a great job for her, and she’s very happy and adjusts well. She has a lot of friends to be her eyes, and learns to lean into what she can do and has a quite fulfilling and blissful life outside the realm in ILM.

Also: thanks for the recs! I’m going on a run soon, and I’ll add those to my iPod and give ‘em a listen if I can. Hope this answered what you wanted to know! ^u^

#ask #sleepy #in living memory (fic)#in living memory #ilm spoilers #dead by daylight #Lisa Sherwood #Sally Smithson #long post

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autisticmob · 5 years ago

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HELLO everyone i am now ten days out from my tiddy surgery so i think while everything is still fresh-ish in my mind I should get a rough timeline of how things went for me, just so anyone having similar stuff done in the future can have it as reference??

so under the cut is how shit went down, warning we are gonna be tmi about it for Max Information Dissemination, i will be talking about IV placement, Needles, Bleeding, Bruising, Bathroom Stuff In General, etc. so like. Be Warned.

OKAY SO what did i have done and how did i get it:

- i got a bilateral breast reduction with a “T,�� “keyhole,” or “anchor-shaped” incision. this procedure, unlike double-incision top surgery, does not detach your nipples at all, but it DOES leave a decent hunk of breast tissue behind to avoid the nip graft. this connecting tissue keeps your nip attached and supplied with enough blood to survive. that means with this one, theres basically a limit to how much they can take off, and it depends on how big you are to start off with.

- i went with the T-incisions because as a NB person, I wanted to sidestep the “gender-confirming surgery” route with my insurance. technically, I believe it would have been covered if i had gone through the process of talking to a therapist and getting a note that the surgery WOULD help confirm my gender, but i suspect it would have taken much longer, and I was afraid that my doctor and community resources would not have ended up approving me FOR the surgery since I don’t exactly fit the typical trans narrative. and luckily for me i had Massive, Spine-Bending G Cup Tiddies to contend with. so every doc that took a look at me said “yeah, you need those taken care of for medical reasons.” so i thought hey, let’s see how far this will get me!

- i talked to my primary care doc about my back pain and mentioned i’d like to look into a breast reduction, and she referred me to a local surgeon who could do the procedure. at the time i was still entertaining the idea of double-incision, but as it turned out, this surgeon just didnt do that. but i knew for certain my insurance would cover him, his results were good, and he was local, so i said yes to the T-incisions, which he said would likely get me down from a G to at least a C. it wasnt my ideal scenario admittedly, but frankly the back pain was getting to be too much, and i needed it to be addressed sooner rather than later.

- i had a consultation with the surgeon in early december, and they took pictures and measurements to send to my insurance so they could confirm the tits WERE in fact Too Bomb To Live. Doc said that it varies between insurance companies, but most will have a minimum amount of tissue that needs to be taken off, in grams, from each breast. he was like, “your insurance needs at least 1000g total removed, which’ll leave you on the small side, is that cool?” and i was like “My Man, take AS MUCH as you possibly can, im sick of these” and he was like “cool, makes my job easy then.”

- it took my insurance like 1.5 to 2 months to get back to me, but late january the surgery place called me and we set a date for february 5th, 2020!!

PRE-OP:

- before i went into surgery, the hospital made me go over my medical history with them over the phone, informed me of all the risks, and gave me a special scrub kit to shower with at home for the last 2 days before the surgery

- fun fact this soap will make your whole bathroom and body smell strongly and exactly like a hospital and it is gross as hell if you hate hospital smell

- i also had to go to my primary care doc to get the OK that i was healthy enough to go under general anesthesia, and also get some blood tests and a urinalysis done. i fucked up the urinalysis tho (which is a whole other story) so i had to redo that the morning of the surgery when i got to the hospital anyway.

- when i scheduled my surgery they also gave me a list of things i had to NOT DO before i went in. this included stuff like avoiding herbal medications and non-prescription supplements and not drinking any alcohol for like 2 weeks prior to surgery, and not eating anything after midnight the night before surgery.

- then it was SURGERY DAY!!!

- i went in with uhhh a LOT of anxiety about what everything would entail, ngl. i knew i had to do it because staring down the barrel of life with tiddies forever was way scarier than surgery, but yknow whenever you go under general anesthesia they legally do have to let you know that you could die and thats just a lot to consider, PLUS the whole thing involves just, really mangling your torso so like. its a lot! its okay to be scared!

- both my parents went with me for moral support which i appreciated a lot, but i didnt actually see them much since they had to spend a lot of it in the waiting room.

- when i went back with the doc they had me Wash The Tiddy Off with some antiseptic and change into a gown. i got some grippy socks out of the deal which is probably not a universal experience, but this hospital did it so shoutout to them for the socks i guess

- then they asked me all my medical history stuff again and checked me for any like, rashes or open sores or anything. i had some Tit Zits but they did not seem to be worried about that.

- then the surgeon came in and drew lines on me for the incisions. bro when i saw how high up my nips were gonna be i was losing my damn mind. this is one of the really exciting parts, because you finally get to really visualize what your end size is gonna be!!

- once he was satisfied with how everything looked, they started really Prepping Me For Surgery.

- they hooked me up to a blood pressure cuff, a heart monitor, and some compression leg thingies that would inflate and deflate intermittently around my calves to help me not get blood clots. this felt weird but tbh also like kind of a nice massage

- then the iv placement. bro im not lying when i tell you this is the worst part. the nurse numbed me with some lidocaine before placing the needle and let me tell you that shit HURTED. lidocaine Stings and Burns when it hits and this was arguably the most painful part. but the good news about that is it means nothing else after that is all that bad. and i got THREE lidocaine shots because these two nurses could NOT find my blood anywhere. they finally called in their ringer (an EMT named kirk, s/o to kirk) who got that sucker in my arm with NO numbing and NO pain in like, 2 fucking seconds. i pray you all have a kirk. kirk knows where your fucking blood is and hes not gonna fuck around getting to it because he JUST wrestled a drunk dude into an ambulance like an hour ago and compared to that this is nothing. kirk had sleeveless scrubs. im obsessed. anyway.

- then they put a plastic, inflatable, heated blanket over me? it was between two regular blankets so it wasnt as uncomfortable as you might imagine, but it was strange. warm tho so that was nice.

- THEN they wheeled my bed down to surgery. i was having so much anxiety at this point it was like... dreamlike. getting wheeled into the OR was just surreal. i was like, no thoughts head empty, just taking everything in.

- once i got there the surgical team was very cool about keeping me calm tho. they were playing their like, pump-up music and one of the guys was like “hey fyi about halfway thru the surgery we will be turning the lights off and having a rave, just in the interest of full disclosure. promise not to leave any glowsticks in there tho” and i was like what no i would LOVE glowstick tiddies

- i had to kinda roll from my bed onto the operating table, which was significantly harder and smaller. that kinda made things feel real, so i got a little more anxious at that point.

- to help me calm down they had me breathe in some straightup oxygen thru a mask while they hooked my iv to the fluids and such, and the guy was like “WHOA you got some lungs on you dude” and i was like yeah thanks im recovering from hyperventilating

- then they let the anesthesia into the iv, letting me know the whole time what was happening, talking to me until i was just OUT, which was not a lot of conversation time because i was out in like 5 seconds or less. they didnt make me count down or anything, but i promise you it was nigh instantaneous.

POST OP

- it really was instantaneous. i know everyone says that but it really is the truth, it feels like the whole thing takes seconds. like one moment youre laying there in the OR feeling the drugs Hit, and the next youre waking up in the little wake-up room feelin kinda groggy with a nurse talking to you, and youre still druggy so youre just rambling to her about how fucked your voice sounds right now and as soon as shes contented that youre basically lucid they start wheeling you to your room where youll ACTUALLY stay while you recover.

- THE THING I WAS THE LEAST PREPARED FOR WAS MY THROAT

- your throat will Hurt afterwards, but even more than that, you will be producing So Much Mucus. my surgery took about 2 hours and during that time, all my muscles were paralyzed by the anesthesia, including my lungs, so i was on a breathing tube. my throat, understandably, hated this, and started producing Gallons Of Fucking Mucus to protect itself. it then continued to do this for the next two days or so. the nurses were encouraging me to breathe deep and cough Hard to combat this, and avoid getting pneumonia, so i did. but THAT hurt the tiddies. it was really a vicious cycle. but its necessary because god if i had to have pneumonia on top of all the other recovery shit?? god. 0/10 wouldnt recommend. so it might hurt but dont worry your tiddies wont bust open or anything.

- i spent basically the rest of the day still hooked up to all the machines i listed earlier, PLUS a thing that would beep at me if my heart rate went too high, which it did a lot because i have anxiety, but luckily the nurses didnt seem too concerned. it really kept my breathing on track though because if i didnt breathe deep enough my heart would shoot up super fast and it’d beep and god that was just annoying and im pretty sure that was The Point. you kinda have to get used to breathing again, and the beeping trained me.

- they gave me like a bunch of crackers and a huge mug of water to work on at my leisure. i actually had lunch pretty quick after waking up? i know a lot of people have nausea issues from anesthesia but i didnt experience any of that. i DID move like a fucking sloth while i was eating tho. the pain meds and general grogginess of recovery slowed my whole body down sooooo much. my mom was actually like “are you okay??? like neurologically??????” and i was, totally, i was just. on slo-mo.

- anyway i didnt have to get catheterized for this procedure thankfully but they DID make me measure my pee every time i went to the bathroom. like i had to pee in a little bucket attached to the toilet and the nurse had to come check it every time and i felt really weird about that. so idk just be prepared for that i guess lmao

- also idk if it was the pain meds or the anesthesia itself but post-op, i couldnt shit for like a week. the constipation is real so get u some fucking laxatives asap when you get home, this is not a joke lmao

- they also had me put on a belt every time i got up so the nurse could hold onto me in case i decided to fucking biff it. they got me up a couple times throughout the day/night to walk up and down the hallway outside and get my body used to being upright again

- oh speaking of i never got to lie down completely flat, they had my bed locked at like a 30 degree angle minimum to help with... something. im not quite sure what, but im not gonna question it

- when i got up the next morning they had a couple nurses come in and help me un-bandage so i could shower and finally look at what the tiddies looked like for the first time!! and it was exciting but i didnt cry like i expected lmao i think i was too drained and too distracted by the bleeding

- the bleeding wasnt too bad actually, just little beads kinda coming out of parts of the incisions between the stitches. but once i got in the shower obviously stuff started getting diluted in the water and it looked like a lot more than there actually was, so dont be alarmed by that!

- SHOWERING: its a little complicated. youre not supposed to soak the incisions, and youre not supposed to apply direct water pressure or actually touch them at this point. so what i had to do was get a washcloth wet and soapy (with antibacterial soap, i think it was hand soap honestly. hand soap’s what ive been using at home so........) and then just kinda. squeeze it at your collarbone and let it drip down over everything kinda minimally. its kind of a process but it works fine. washing your hair and like, tbh literally everything else is gonna be hard. reaching over your head is hard and scary at this point. i will admit my hair care Suffered the first week.

- then i got bandaged back up and they got me back into my own clothes and ready to go home! they also put a bra on me over the bandages in my new size. i was only there for about 24 hours total, since i didnt really have any complications.

- on the ride home i had to make sure the cross-chest part of the seat belt was NOT touching me. if whoevers driving you hits a pothole, your soul WILL exit your body tits-first for a moment. im sorry if you live somewhere like here in nebraska where the roads are garbage but its not gonna be fun.

ONCE YOU’RE HOME!!

- i live at home with my mom and sister and if you live alone, id try to have a friend basically move in for the first week. you will need Help with things. basic things. you’ll mostly want to sleep because of the pain meds but those made me pretty dizzy so it was cool having my mom around in case i like. fell on the way to the bathroom and died or anything like that.

- changing bandages is really kind of a 2-person affair too, and youll have to do it at least once a day post-shower, so keep that in mind.

- the bleeding is like, not that bad after that first day honestly. i never had to change the bandages more than just the once per day.

- basically from here the procedure is just to take it easy, get up every few hours and walk around a little to keep the blood clots at bay, and enjoy yr new silhouette basically

- worst thing about recovery honestly? im a stomach/side sleeper, and i cant manage anything other than laying flat on my back with my arms at my sides right now, and thats just like.... idk i really cant sleep like that. its not comfy. ive had to set up kind of a pillow fort around me to keep me from rolling over in my sleep bc im afraid i might hurt myself accidentally like that, but idk how well-founded that fear is.

- i will say as someone who did have back problems before this, the difference is IMMEDIATE. i literally had better posture like Day 1. im still a little hunched over because the stitches create a bit of tension in your chest, but like literally it was instantaneous. god. once i got healed to a point that i could like, kinda relax and not be so fucking tense all the time? back pain has basically just been GONE.

- other fun things to notice: i had some pretty significant stretch marks before, and now they are running in a completely different direction. i crossed my arms over my chest the other day and they actually touched my torso for the first time in like, well over a decade. if i close my eyes and try to grab my tiddy from muscle memory, i stop like a full 3 inches from where my tit actually starts now. the size i am now, just like, freeballing it? this is how i looked when i wore a binder before. if i wore a binder now i imagine id be completely flat, and honestly if i layer up at this point you cant really tell that i have anything more than the average chubby dude’s moobs, which as a kinda chubby person is totally fine.

its a trip relearning what i look like and what im supposed to feel like but its just. such a fucking improvement over where i was. absolutely no regrets, regardless of how hard recovery has felt at times. anyway i hope this information is at least interesting and maybe helpful to anybody considering anything similar!!

#words #top surgery #breast reduction #info post #again yall lemme know if you have questions abt anything i didnt cover here i tried to hit all my bases but u never know #teat yeet

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procession-of-blades · 5 years ago

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Tagged by @commander-thiernaen

― your muse’s name:

Magister Pukh/Prosthetist Pukh

― a favorite picture/face claim of your muse:

― two headcanons you have for your muse:

- Since the story choice I ran with for my initial run just trying out the game was Synergetics, I decided to keep this for Pukh going forward. This led to the concept of Pukh becoming friends with Zojja during their time with the college, and as such, their entire view of Destiny’s Edge is originally filtered via the lens of the group’s Elementalist. Pukh goes into the meetup at level 40 with a lot of very tainted ideas about how these people actually work. Since the dungeons focus on the members of DE making up, and not us personally bonding with them? Pukh KEEPS a lot of these tainted views well into LW1, LW2, and hell, even into Heart of Thorns. Catch them not bonding with Rytlock until PoF as a result and even now bordering on antagonistic with Logan

- When Pukh went through Omadd’s Machine, it retroactively messed with a few things for them. For one, both in the present, the past, and the future, they became tangentially aware of their own AUs. Via dreams, hunches, gut feelings, deja vu, you name it, Pukh has probably had some awareness of an AU via it. Be it the version of the story where Trahearne somehow survives as a giant centipede monster, or the version of the story where they’re actually an eight-foot-tall Roegadyn woman in Eorzea, or even things with something just slightly to the left. As uncomfortable as it is, it tends to blend in with PTSD symptoms? and is easily ignored during times of great stress. Usually. Maybe

― three things that your muse likes doing in their free time:

- Cooking, baking, and just about anything in the kitchen! Pukh was never fantastic with things like chemistry, but cooking is a hobby that benefits EVERYONE

- Sending letters to old friends who aren’t otherwise kept in touch with. Think people like their old krewemates (shoutout to Pol, hey Anet put him back in the game please?) or people from the Pact who aren’t really in active front-lines stuff anymore

- Pet pampering. Pukh did start as a ranger, and as a result, has a friggin menagerie of collected companions that deserve to be spoiled rotten

― seven people your muse loves/likes:

- TRAHEARNE, to a problematic degree, in fact! Like many commanders, Pukh’s time with the Pact made a big impact, and even if they hadn’t become romantically involved, he’d at the very least be a dear friend. Their start was rocky enough to quite literally count as violent, with Pukh outright injuring him directly once, but fortunately, the two are decent communicators and worked their way up from there

- Aithne, a sylvari demolitionist of @nekhs‘ with a history in the Whispers. Holder of the figurative baby leash in terms of keeping Pukh from acting on anything too rash or inflicting any lasting harm on themselves or others. (Unless necessary or deserved, Phlunt)

- Phari, @tired-gay-and-a-dj‘s norn soulbeast with a thick accent and a heart nearly as big as her snow leopards are. They met during the events of LW2, and while their friendship started incredibly rocky, they had their trauma bonding and would both literally and figuratively kill for each other

- Taliesane, @thelittlestnorn‘s once-ranger, now revenant. Metamour and dear friend, the two met during the campaign against Zhaitan and despite starting as someone Pukh despised, they ended up pillars of each other’s support systems. Though, if they ever find out the extent of exactly WHO Tali’s channeling a lot of the time, blood may be spilled

- Technically in an AU, at the moment at least (who knows about rift shenanigans,) but @addakax‘s Dross and Pukh have a storyline where they’re co-commanders, essentially, much in the same way Pukh is co-commanders with Phari and Aithne in the more ‘mainline’ canon they’ve got. Pukh may see him as an absolute disaster but loves him all the same. Also all of his cats

- @a-blue-tree-man‘s Willamenah is somewhat of a cross-dimensional adopted son to Pukh, despite the fact that he’s approximately....uh... probably many hundreds of years older than they are. Due to the situation with Omadd’s Machine, and the developing...symptoms that Pukh has had from it, it gives the two more in common than either would like

(honorable mentions to the many AUs I have with friends, you know who you are, it just made me pick seven)

― a phobia your muse has:

Pukh is actually fairly afraid of the dark. Not NORMAL darkness, mind you. I’m talking pitch black, not low-light. I headcanon that asura probably have decent low-light vision, but it’s unlikely that they can see in actual pitch-black darkness. The first time Sieran took Pukh into a ruin, she got to experience her new partner stranding themselves on a rocky outcropping and crying until she came back.

Tagging:

uhhh almost everyone has already been tagged oh no....

@addakax, @thelittlestnorn, @esteracussoressi, @resonatingfern?? And whoever else hasn’t been tagged who wants to! That means YOU even if you think I don’t mean you! Yes you!

#ask memes #commander-thiernaen #thank you for the ask!

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dimpled-gukkie · 6 years ago

Text

Stupefy

Verb- Make (someone) unable to think or feel properly

a.n.: Sorry it’s been a while guys. I had ideas but didn’t know how to start any of them so it took me a while. Shoutout to @cooked-noodle-yoongi for making this beautiful��moodboard for me. I’d also like to thank @today-we-will-survive for helping keep me motivated to finish this. Love you both ❤️

Pairing: Pureblood!Min Yoongi x Muggle!Reader/ Best friend & halfblood!Kim Taehyung x Muggle!Reader. (Also occasional appearances by the rest of the members)

Genre: Fluff with Angst, S2L, Harry Potter AU

Summary: You weren’t supposed to be in diagon alley. You weren’t supposed to interact with other wizards. You weren’t supposed to know about the wizarding world. Yet here you are, a muggle, catching feelings for your anonymous wizard friend with the snarky owl. You’re definitely not supposed to find out who they are and definitely not supposed to find out that they’re a pureblood, known for hating anyone less than magic worthy. Yet here you are, hiding from the guy you love because you can’t face the fact he’ll hate you when he finds out you’re less than perfect. He’s definitely not supposed to fall in love with you either though and he’s definitely not supposed to want to kiss you. And yet here he is, chasing after you like a lovesick teenager.

Warnings: slight cursing at the end, drinking, despair

Word count: 10.4k

“This is stupid.” You grumble staring at your reflection in the bathroom mirror. Your figure is drowning in a Gryffindor robe two sizes too big, equipping you with the ultimate sweater paws, and your face is half-covered by a witch hat from an old Halloween costume. Looking to the left of your reflection you can see him struggling to stifle a laugh by biting his lip. If you hadn’t known him since you were in diapers you might think it was attractive.

“You look adorable kitten.” His voice is higher than it’s normal low timbre signaling that he’s lying. By the soft look on his face though, it’s only to make you feel better.

“Don’t lie to me Kim Taehyung.” You glance once more at your reflection and pout because it’ll be your first time interacting with the rest of the wizarding world and you look like a toddler in their older sibling’s Halloween costume. You turn to face him, opening your mouth to complain but he beats you to the punch.

“I’m not lying kitten. You’re so cute I just want to boop your nose.” He finishes this statement by actually booping your nose, complete with a small “boop”. You sigh in defeat and choose to appease him by staying in this ridiculous outfit.

“Why aren’t you wearing your robe?” You only just noticed that Tae was in black jeans and a grey hoodie, his own robe nowhere to be found.

“They already know I’m a wizard kitten. They’ve seen me in Diagon Alley since first year. You not so much.” He says before taking your hand and leading you outside to embark on your new adventure. To be the first muggle to ever enter Diagon Alley.

When the brick wall begins to move, creating an archway big enough to fit a giant, you can’t help but stare in awe. With your mouth agape and eyes wide, you struggle to take in your surroundings. Diagon Alley is vibrant with carts containing mysterious plants that seem to have minds of their own, to owls hooting from cages, to the women in pointy hats selling various colored potions, and so much more. In every direction something new and exciting is occurring and you find yourself easily going into sensory overload. There’s too much to take in and it takes a tug on your arm to snap back into reality.

Taehyung is smiling at you fondly, happy that he can finally share his whole life with his best friend. Hearing about the wizarding world is nothing compared to experiencing it and Tae can see himself at 11 years old in your expression. Eyes wide, gaze fleeting, mouth slightly open, it all reminds him of his very first trip to Diagon Alley. He only wishes you would’ve been there with him.

With his hand still on your arm, he begins to lead you down the streets into the various shops. The first stop is a pet shop where students can pick an animal to accompany them to school. Upon first glance the shop is chaotic with cages everywhere, animals of all types making noises as if trying to call out to prospective owners, and a frenzy of tweens dashing between the rows trying to see all their options. You and Tae remain in the pet shop for nearly an hour, the both of you cooing and petting anything that gives you a semblance of attention. Taehyung almost winds up leaving with a ragdoll kitten but you manage to persuade him to let the kitten go. His other five animals at home will surely appreciate it.

The next store you enter is the quidditch store, a sport you know quite well. When the season is coming up, all Tae can talk about in his letters are the new techniques he’s learning and how he plans to be captain that year. The year he finally did become captain, his fifth, you sent him a cupcake from his favorite bakery in town. Taehyung is currently explaining to you the differences between broom models- you didn’t realize you couldn’t just take one from the closet- when a loud group enters. The bell hanging above the door can barely be heard over the ruckus of said group. You turn to look at them and make eye contact with a boy with orange hair and soft brown eyes. When he smiles at you his cheeks puff up causing his eyes to turn into little slivers, resembling a sleeping cat. Taehyung, noticing your sudden disinterest, also looks towards the group.

“Jimin!” You turn to Tae and notice his boxy grin has widened as he moves past you and towards the boy with the cute eye smile. They’re mid hug when you approach them, too anxious to be left alone in this unfamiliar setting. The stranger notices your presence first and steps back from Tae to stick his hand out.

“Park Jimin, prefect and soon to be Head Boy. You are?” You glance nervously at Tae not knowing whether or not to disclose your real identity. Taehyung however doesn’t notice your look of desperation, too busy hugging the other boys from Jimin’s group.

“Uhhh… I’m Tae’s best friend.” You gingerly stick your hand out shaking his before immediately stuffing your hand into the pockets of your-Tae’s- robe. You don’t need Jimin to see that your hands are starting to shake with the onslaught of nerves at the fear of being caught. After all what would they do if they found out you were a muggle?

“Oh!” A light bulb seems to go off in Jimin’s head because his eye smile returns before he points at you. “You’re kitten right?” You flush at the nickname, not used to it coming from anyone but Tae. From another boy it sounds almost…romantic?

At this Tae suddenly appears, wrapping his arms around your frame from behind and sticking his chin on your shoulder. “Yah! You have your kitten and I have mine. It’s Y/N to you.” You turn your head slightly to the side and can see Tae’s pout clearly. You pat his hand in reassurance that you are his Kitten and his only. One, to make him feel better and two, because you don’t think you can take another guy calling you that. Just Jimin-you’re pretty sure that’s his name- saying it had your face flush and your knees weak.

Jimin nods in understanding but you can sense something is off. The way his eyes have a mischievous glint to them make you wonder what’s going on inside his head. “So I’ve never seen you around Hogwarts before. Taehyung keeping you hidden away?” You don’t know how to answer this so you opt to laugh awkwardly.

“I didn’t want your grubby hands anywhere near her.” Despite the seemingly harsh words Tae’s jab is playful and does nothing to deter Jimin. As if to add emphasis to his claim, Tae pulls you in tighter against him so there’s no space left between your bodies. If this waasn’t your best friend, you probably would’ve been a blushing mess. But Taehyung has always been one for physical contact and being this close is nothing new to you.

“Well hopefully I’ll see you around?” You smile and nod in confirmation. Jimin waves before walking away and Tae walks you back towards the brooms you were looking at earlier. He still has yet to release his hold on you, which makes walking a little awkward but you manage.

“So as I was saying…” He begins and you lean into him as he speaks knowing this will be a while.

By the time you’re finished in the quidditch shop, you’re sure you have more knowledge about brooms than anyone actually needs to have but you smiled the whole way through the lecture because it made taehyung happy. And as his best friend, it is your job to keep that distinct boxy smile on his face as much as possible even if it means listening to something as trivial as the type of wood used in different broom models.

Tae leads you to a small bakery next, claiming that the thought of playing quidditch made him hungry. You know, all that mental exercise he did. While weaving through the crowd you keep your head down to avoid catching any eyes or causing any interactions. The less people who know you were here the better. Fate doesn’t seem to care though as you collide with someone after stepping only a foot inside the shop. You mumble out an apology and attempt to hide behind Taehyung when a hand on your wrist stops you. The grip they have is strong and you can’t help but wonder if a bruise will be left on your skin.

“Look at me.” The voice commands and you know by the tone it’s best to comply. You stiffen, something you’re sure they can feel as their hand is still on your wrist, before glancing up. You instantly relax though when you realize that the person you ran into is your age and not some scary man who has the power to kill you on the spot. The look this kid is giving you however says that if he could he would. “Do you see this coat?” He asks, pinching the fabric and pulling it so you know exactly what he’s referencing. Like you can’t tell what outerwear is. You struggle to withhold the eye roll. “This coat right here probably costs the same as your life.” He sneers before doing a slow once over. You fold into yourself under his intense gaze and wish that Taehyung was beside you. Glancing towards the register you can see him in the process of ordering, so used to your unspoken presence he hasn’t realized you’re still by the entrance. “Although, judging by the state of your robes and stupid hat, your life is probably worth less than even that.” He flicks the brim of your hat and you flinch back from the action.

He seems to draw joy from your discomfort and laughs, the sound rivaling that of a strangled animal. You open your mouth to defend yourself or maybe to call out for Tae- you’re not sure- but the boy cuts you off. “You see this stain?” He points to a spot on his coat but you don’t see anything. You shake your head and he growls in annoyance before shoving the coat in your face. You try to back away but his grip is still on your wrist and your eyes start to well up in fear. “You’re gonna pay for this mud-“ He doesn’t finish his sentence as another voice cuts through. It’s deep and gravely and seems to be speaking latin. You look behind the boy with the grip on your wrist to see another one standing there with a wand in his hand and an icy glare. When you make eye contact you don’t know whether to be comforted or scared.

Your attention shifts back to the boy holding you hostage as he suddenly shrieks and runs to the shop window to look at his reflection. On his head two donkey ears have sprouted and his cries turn into broken brays. Donkey boy whips around infuriated and you scramble over to Tae’s side to avoid the line of fire. He only has just seemed to notice what has happened as he quickly tugs you to stand behind him. “Yoongi.” Donkey boy spits out the name with so much venom you can’t help but shiver at the tone. The other boy, Yoongi, seems positively unbothered by this though. Instead he just gives a blank stare, seemingly unimpressed by Donkey boy’s efforts to intimidate him.

Donkey boy only becomes further enraged and whips out his wand only to be stopped by the burly barista behind the counter. “I suggest you boys take this outside.” He seems to contemplate this before turning and seeing Yoongi as disinterested as before, and slowly backs away.

“I’m telling father.” The tension clouding the air drops as the boy rushes out of the shop with his hands over his head to cover his new appendages. The whole bakery seems to let out a sigh of relief and Taehyung allows you to come out from behind him. You make eye contact with Yoongi again and you wonder how someone can seem so cold but so warm at the same time.

“I suggest you keep an eye on your friend Tae. She seems to get easily caught up in trouble.” You bite your lip in embarrassment as Yoongi approaches and look down to the floor.

“Trouble? Kitten doesn’t get in trouble; well at least not without me.” You know Tae is furrowing his eyebrows as he pouts, probably upset that something happened and he didn’t realize it sooner. You can feel a gaze fall on you and you close your eyes knowing it must be Yoongi. It’s disturbing how easily he’s making you flustered and you don’t know how to react because a boy has never made you so nervous before. You look up at him through your lashes and can see him running his hand over the nape of his neck and running his palm over his ear. He almost looks shy?

“Yeah well she umm had a run in with a nasty pureblood. He had his hand on her arm keeping her in place as he yelled at her.” He takes a pause and sucks in a breath before licking his lips. “So I uhh… stepped in and helped her.” You look up and are about to thank him when Taehyung pulls you into his embrace trapping you against his chest.

“Kitten I’m so sorry. I thought you were behind me the whole time, if I had known you were in trouble I would’ve saved you. I’m such a bad best friend, I’m so sorry.” Tae’s big heart often gets the best of him and you can feel him shudder like he’s going to start crying. The thought of him starting to cry makes you tear up as well and you rub his back to calm him down.

“It’s okay Tae, it’s okay. You’re not a bad best friend at all. You’re the greatest friend a girl could have.” You continue shushing him until his breathing evens out and when he pulls away you place a gentle kiss on his forehead. He cracks a small smile at you and you decide now would probably be a good time to go home. You take his hand in yours and lead him out with your bag of goodies but not before turning to say thank you to Yoongi. Except the boy with the dark brown almost ebony hair and icy stare is nowhere to be found.

A few weeks later and you’re standing outside of Taehyung’s house watching as his belongings get loaded into the car. Tears well in your eyes at the thought of having to survive without your best friend by your side and you sniffle to try hiding it because Tae is faring no better than you. You’ve gone through this for five years now but it doesn’t make it any easier. As his last trunk gets loaded into the car and his owl is placed safely in the back seat he finally turns to you. You give a tight-lipped smile trying to conceal your downcast expression but he can see right through you. Wrapping his arms around your figure, he pulls you close, tucking his face into the crook of your neck even if he has to bend a little. You stay like that for a while, just taking each other in. “Tae…” You start noticing his parents idling by the car. He doesn’t respond, just clutches you tighter like a child holding onto a stuffed animal for comfort. “You’re parents are waiting.”

He grunts but refuses to let go of his hold. You gently push away until you’re in arms length of each other. “I wish you could come with me. I hate leaving you here.”

“I know but think of all the new spells you can show me when you come back.” It’s technically against wizard law to use magic in front of muggles but every trip home Tae shows you what he’s learned. He’s also not supposed to use magic outside of school unless he’s a seventh year but he’s never cared. He even came over to show you his Hogwarts letter the minute he got it because ‘you’re my best friend, I could never lie to you’.

“That reminds me, put your hands out.” You smile at what’s about to happen next as Tae sticks his hands under yours and with a small grin plastered on his face as well. “Come on, say the spell.”

“Herbivicus” Between the palms of your hand a dark red carnation sprouts and blooms. You smile as you watch it grow and pretend that it really was you who cast the spell not Taehyung. It’s been a tradition for every year that he goes away. Each year the flower is a different color carnation and is a little piece of him that you can keep with you. You hear him mutter something again and assume it must be the incantation that keeps it preserved forever. “Why dark red this year?” You wonder and Tae’s eyes go slightly wide for a second before he licks his lips.

“Just thought it would be pretty.” He shrugs looking back down at the flower.

“It is, thank you.” Instead of saying anything else he pulls you back into a final hug, avoiding crushing the flower, as his parents tell him it’s time to go. He’s already almost late as it is. When he pulls away he gives you one last smile. “Tae?” He turns around immediately almost like he’s expecting something. “Have a safe trip okay. Oh and tell your friend Yoongi thanks for save- I mean helping me.” He swallows and gives a small nod before entering the car. You watch as he pulls away while gently caressing the flower petals.

Yoongi tucks himself away in a compartment near the back of the Hogwarts Express. He likes it better back here; it’s quiet. Well as quiet as it can be with six other loud teenage boys. Not that he minds really, but he’d never admit that out loud. One by one his best friends enter the cabin, the last to join being a glum Kim Taehyung. Jimin seems to miss the cue entirely though as his first words to Tae are, “I’m surprised you’re here and not with kitten.” Yoongi stiffens at the name, instantly reminded of the girl who’s plagued his thoughts since their interaction at the bakery, and notices that Tae does the same.

“She’s not here.” He grumbles plopping down next to Jin and placing his head on Jin’s lap. Jin gently strokes Tae’s hair in an attempt to comfort him, which seems to work a little.

“Did she miss the train or something? The way you two were wrapped around each other at Diagon Alley I thought you’d be stuck to her.” Yoongi rubs at his ear not understanding what Jimin is getting at. Surely he can tell that she is the reason behind Tae’s sour mood.

“No. She can’t come.” At the realization of his words Tae’s eyes widen and he licks his lips.

“Why not? She is a witch after all right?” Jimin laughs.

“Yeah she uhh.. had to drop out. She couldn’t afford the tuition.” Yoongi’s ears pick up on this information and he can feel himself deflate a little. Why he has no idea. It’s not like he was hoping to see her in her adorable oversized robes that make her look so cute that he just wants to pinch her cheeks. Nope not at all. As the topic switches to something less interesting, quidditch, Yoongi finds himself drifting off to sleep, the face of the girl with the oversized hat and robe imprinted on the backs of his eyelids.

You wake up the next morning and scream upon looking out your window. A large brown owl stands at the sill watching your every move. As you scramble to sit up and pull your comforter along with you, it cocks its head seemingly confused by your reaction. It’s then that you notice the package tied around the owl’s neck hanging like the pendant on a necklace. ‘Oh. It’s a wizard’s owl.’ You think only to be stumped again. You know that this isn’t Tae’s so who’s is it? Cautiously you open your window and allow the bird to fly inside. It perches on top of the chair by your desk and sits patiently while you gingerly take the package from around its neck.

Glancing back at the bird one last time, you bring the package back to your bed and open it. Inside are several books, some of which you recognize from Tae buying them while you were in Diagon Alley. You stare perplexedly at the books, wondering why on earth anyone would bother sending them to you. You have no use for them as a muggle. When you flip open the page of the top book you find a little notecard with clean handwriting.

Kitten, You never gave me your name so I don’t have anything else to call you by. Hopefully Tae doesn’t mind. He told me you had to drop out of Hogwarts due to financial issues so I thought I’d send you my old books so you could continue learning. -Suga

Smiling you hold the note gently in your hand. Whoever this Suga is cared enough about you to send you help. Even if you don’t know the sender you can’t help the swell of your heart and wish to thank them. The owl hoots reminding you that she’s still here giving you an idea.

Suga,

Thank you for the books! I spent the whole day reading them; the wizarding world is fascinating. I appreciate that you were so willing to help me even though I don’t know you. Not many people are like that nowadays. I was wondering if you wanted to continue writing to one another? If not I understand, it’s just you seem like a genuine person and it’d be nice to receive a letter from someone other than Taehyung. He really only talks about quidditch.

-Kitten Y/N

Yoongi scrunches his nose at the letter from kit- Y/N and a big gummy smile draws its way across his face. His heart hurts a little at the thought that you don’t really know who he is but it’s for his own protection. Most people stop talking to you when they find out you’re a pureblood. They think you’re just like the others in thinking background determines worth and don’t bother to listen to your pleas. Yoongi’s tried before to get other to realize that he’s not that way. That he doesn’t care about wealth, background, or species but no one bothers to listen. They’re especially less likely when you’re part of one of the oldest wizarding families known to date. But it doesn’t matter because Y/N doesn’t know who he is and if he keeps it that way maybe he can keep her around.

You wake up to a letter placed neatly on your desk with an owl staring back at you. You’re not surprised because you may have possibly left your window open in hopes of said owl coming with a letter. Standing up and stretching, you head over to grab the letter and give the owl some pets. It’s a pretty good owl after all, sitting quietly for who knows how long and waiting for you to notice it. When you stroke its head it lets out soft chirps in what you assume to be content. You give it a soft smile.

You gently tear open the letter hands shaking slightly from nerves. You wonder if the owl can hear your heart beating against your chest. You let out a sigh of relief after reading the first line.

Y/N,

I would enjoy to keep writing to you. I can’t deny your letter made me smile. It’s not often people choose to talk to me. Anyone outside of my friends think I’m cold and don’t bother trying to get to know me better. I’m glad you are willing to though. Helping you is the least I could do and judging from what I can tell, you’d likely do the same if the roles were reversed. Am I right? Also my owl’s name is Holly and she seems to like you. She whistled when she returned, something she only does when I give her treats.

Have a good day,

Suga

Your heart breaks slightly when you find out no one tries to talk to him. You’ve always been told you’re warm and inviting, another reason you and Tae get along so well, so you can’t imagine what it must be like to be perceived as cold. You also can’t imagine not talking to someone because they look cold but maybe that’s because you’d try and melt them with your warmth. You guess you’ll just have to be suga’s personal heater.

Suga,

I’m sad to hear that your peers don’t talk to you much. I promise I’ll always be here if you need me. You are right in saying I’d send you books if you were in my position. I always try to help people when I can. I’m also glad that your owl likes me. I like her too. It must be a long trip having to go from Hogwarts to my house everyday. What type of treats does she like?

Good day to you too,

Y/N

P. S. If you don’t mind me asking, why do you go by suga?

Yoongi sucks in a breath after reading the last message. Should he tell her his real name? He doesn’t think she would judge him, but then again he’s not sure. In the end, he’ll be judged anyway but he doesn’t know if he can take that from her. He can still see her panicked tear-filled eyes and shaking hands. His heart pounds loudly the same it did when he jinxed his brother to defend her. He can’t do it. He can’t have her looking at him like he’s a monster. He can’t have her be afraid.

Y/N

Suga, genius. Those two words are enough. If you don’t mind me asking, why does Tae call you Kitten? Are you two together or something? He mentions you a lot during our conversations, somehow always managing to make them come back to you. Jimin said he met you too and that you were pretty. I can’t relate. I’m good at doing ugly stuff. In your previous letters you mentioned you don’t like quidditch. If not quidditch what do you like?

Suga

P.S. Holly will eat anything. She’s basically a dog with wings. She does like Eeylops Premium Owl Treats but they cost a few galleons.

“Holly where is Eeylops?” You ask not looking up from the letter. You’re still reading over again the line about Jimin saying you’re pretty. You’re not used to hot guys paying you compliments. Usually it’s just stares from creepy old guys. You can’t help but wonder if suga were to see you if he would think you were pretty too. A blush creeps up your neck at the thought and you go back to the task at hand. “Holly?” The owl squeaks and only then do you realize you’re talking to an owl. “And I’m talking to an owl… Did I lose my last brain cell?” Holly chirps in what you assume to be agreement. “I already knew I was dumb Holly. I didn’t need you to remind me.” Holly says nothing in response.

“Why are you always looking out the windows?” Jimin says during breakfast at the Slytherin table. It’s one of those rare days that Yoongi woke up early enough to attend.

“What are you talking about?” He quietly groans fighting a yawn.

“Anytime I see you now you’re always looking outside like you’re waiting for something. Or maybe waiting for someone?” Jimin gives a suggestive smirk and Yoongi looks away feigning disinterest. “You act like I haven’t known you for six years. I can see you’re lying, who is she?”

“Shouldn’t you respect your elders?” Yoongi snaps. He doesn’t want to let Jimin in on his little secret. He doesn’t want to let him in on her.

“You’re right, my bad. So grandpa,who’s the silver fox?” Yoongi shoves Jimin hard causing the younger boy to nearly fall off the bench before leaving to avoid further questioning. He’s nearly out of the Great Hall when Jimin calls out after him. “Don’t forget to take your meds!” The room falls silent before students start murmuring, not hearing their previous conversation to understand he’s referencing the grandpa joke. Sometimes he really hates Park Jimin.

By the time he makes it to his room his cheeks have gone red from the physical exertion of running the whole way. The only thing that could make his day turn around is a letter from Y/N. He finds himself crossing his fingers before licking his lips and walking inside. The room is silent and after seeing no sign of Holly he sighs loudly flopping on his bed. He doesn’t think he’ll go to class today. Yoongi hears the flap of wings and can already feel the smile making it’s way onto his face. In comes his beloved Holly, in all her grace, holding a letter in her beak. Yoongi doesn’t think he’s ever loved anything more.

Suga,

You’re really funny you know that? Here I was hoping to discover the identity of the boy who I spend all my time talking to and yet you don’t even have the decency to give me your name. I feel like those guys who get fake numbers from girls but it’s okay because you probably have a reason for not telling me. Honestly, the kitten thing started years ago. Tae and I have been neighbors since we were little and I was always the quiet one who just sat and watched. We were watching a Disney movie, The Aristocats, and he said I reminded him of one of the kittens. The name just kind of stuck after that but no we’re not together. I’m glad Tae still talks about me since I haven’t received a letter from him yet. Not that I’m mad about it or anything…. Maybe it’s a blessing since quidditch tryouts are coming up. Anyways I like reading, drawing, writing, really anything in the Arts. What do you like?

Y/N

P. S. Your owl called me stupid earlier. I’m very offended

Yoongi can’t help but let out a bark of laughter. He shouldn’t be surprised that Holly is a savage like him. He’s trained his baby well.

Y/N,

You should know by now that Holly is a savage, she is my owl after all. Plus she is surrounded by my genius every day so every other intelligence seems much lesser in comparison. Since Tae has a nickname for you I was thinking I should as well. I don’t know what I’ll choose yet but you’ll see in my next letter. I’ll make sure Tae writes you a letter too. He’s been busy helping Hagrid with the magical creatures on the grounds and has been sneaking into the Forbidden Forest to care for a baby unicorn. Regarding what I like to do, my specialty is rolling around in bed on days off. I’m really good at it. I think I want to be a stone in my next life. That way I can remain stationary forever.

Suga

You smile at numerous things. That one, Suga is just as confident as ever. Two, Suga wants to be a stone in his next life and three, that he cares enough to help you regain contact with you best friend. You understand that Tae is busy and now you have Suga to talk to but you still miss him. Glancing on your nightstand the dark red carnation stands stark against the white table. You gently pick it up to avoid disturbing the petals and hold it close to your chest. You think back to the day you “created” it and smile imagining that Tae was still beside you.

Suga,

If you want to be a stone in your next life, maybe I can take you with me so you can still see all the beautiful places in the world. Thank you by the way for offering to talk to Tae. I just really miss him. Over the summer I always forget that he won’t be with me for the rest of the year and when he leaves it’s like a piece of me is missing. Please make sure that Taehyung is safe while in the Forbidden Forest. It’s forbidden for a reason you know. I was wondering if besides just rolling in bed if you like to write? I was reading through the last book you sent me and noticed some lines scrawled in the margins. It says, “ I hide myself completely like I’ve become a criminal/ I can’t even take one step outside the dorm that’s like a prison”. I hope that you’re okay. If you ever need someone to break you out you can always call me.

Y/N

P.S. I’m dying over what this new nickname could be. The possibilities are endless

His heart warms at the thought of you worried over him. Warms enough to disregard the fact that Tae being gone makes you feel less whole. Yoongi catches himself wishing that he could be the one to complete you.

Y/N,

I’m still working on the nickname. You’re special to me therefore you deserve a special nickname. And the words you found, the ones that you saw in the margins of my book, are lyrics. The same way you write stories I write lyrics to make sense of my emotions. The things you read in there are things I was feeling at the time but don’t worry about me. I’m doing better now that I have you. Thank you for always being here for me. This letter has to be cut short though because I have a potions essay due in two hours and I have yet to start.

Talk to you later,

Suga

You squeal at the fact that you’re special to him. That he might be developing feelings for you like you are for him. You wonder what his lyrics are like now, if he still writes them. He said he’s better now so you’re hoping they’ll be happier. The last one you found, “This is my one and only life so whatever it may be/ I should try becoming the number one for once” made you think that maybe he could be your number one and you his.

Over the course of the next couple of months Yoongi receives a letter every day. They’ve become the one thing he looks forward to. The thing that makes him wantto get up in the morning. Speaking of mornings, Yoongi is again sat at the Slytherin table with Jimin. “Seriously, are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been to breakfast everyday for the past month.” Jimin says concern swimming in his eyes. Yoongi sighs tiredly. He understands it’s out of his usual behavior to choose to be awake early in the morning to “eat” seeing as he’s not a morning person or a big eater but he’s tired of everyone’s questioning gazes. He gets it enough from his classmates, he doesn’t need it from his friends too.

He sticks his tongue in the side of his cheek to prevent himself from snapping at Jimin. He knows it’s not his fault, that Jimin only cares, but if they keep asking he knows he’ll tell the truth. That Yoongi is talking to a girl, a girl he’s positive he’s falling in love with. Jimin nudges him gently, pressing him to answer the question. “I’m fine chim. I just decided I should start taking better care of myself.”

“I guess you do look less dead in the morning since you have time to wake up now.”

“You’re acting like we don’t all look ugly in the morning.” Jimin feigns hurt.

“Excuse me? I’m sexy, cute, and lovely 24/7. Many people have said so.” Yoongi gives a gummy smile.

“They’re lying.” Jimin slaps Yoongi on the arm before clutching onto him as he breaks down in his fit of laughter. Taehyung makes his way over as if beckoned by the call of Jimin’s cackling . Jungkook follows, followed by Hobi, Jin, and Namjoon. They all sit down at the Slytherin table not caring that they’re technically supposed to sit with their own house.

“Why are we laughing? I don’t remember making a joke.” Jin laughs before stuffing a sausage in his mouth. He groans in satisfaction, too caught up in his food haze to notice no one else thought it was funny.

“Yoongi made a funny joke.” Jimin says breathlessly, still recovering.

“Maybe you should give Jin some pointers.” Jungkook snickers and ducks away from Jin’s swatting hands.

“Maybe you should just get a sense of humor.” Jin fires back.

“I don’t think I’m the one that needs it.” Before Jin can get up to chase Jungkook around, Namjoon steps in.

“Alright children settle down. Remember what we’re here for.”

“What are you here for?” Yoongi deadpans.

“We’re worried about you Yoongles. You’ve been acting strange lately what with waking up early, constantly looking out windows, always being lost in your thoughts. Is there something you need to tell us about?” Hobi gives a gentle smile after his statement hoping to coerce an answer out Yoongi. Yoongi wants to tell Hobi to never say that dreadful nickname again but can’t find it in himself to reprimand his best friend. He looks away to avoid his group’s concerned eyes, trying to steel his resolve. It doesn’t work however because he can feel guilt draping itself around him the longer he avoids their gaze. With guilt eating away at him, he finally decides it’s time to explain what’s been occurring over the past couple of months. He can’t let his friends worry about him just because he’s scared of the consequences. It’s not fair to the people who’ve stood by him when not even his own family would.

“Let’s uhh… talk about this elsewhere.” Yoongi licks his lips nervously and rubs the back of his neck as the boy’s follow him up to his room. There is no conversation between them as they walk towards the Slytherin house. Once inside the boys all pile around Yoongi making sure they’re close enough to hear every word he says. Jimin gives him a pat on the back trying to comfort Yoongi’s now rigid form. Taking a deep breath and licking his lips, Yoongi begins.

“It started back months ago when I was in Diagon Alley and saved a girl, Y/N or Kitten as Tae likes to call her, from my brother. He was being mean and was about to call her a mudblood and I cast a jinx on him before he could finish the demeaning word. After the incident, I couldn’t really get her out of my head and when Taehyung said that Y/N… I mean Kitten had to drop out of Hogwarts because she couldn’t afford it I decided to send her my books from last year so she could keep up with her studies. I wasn’t expecting anything in return but then I received a thank you letter back from her and she asked if I wanted to keep talking. So I said yes and we’ve been sending each other a letter every day since. It started out just getting to know each other and making stupid jokes but then I started looking for her letters and waking up earlier in hopes of reading them sooner. She doesn’t even have to tell me anything important, she can just tell me about her mundane day and I’d still enjoy it. I know I’ve fallen in love with her, I wouldn’t be feeling this was if I wasn’t. The problem is that she doesn’t know I’m Yoongi, she just knows me as Suga.”

Yoongi rubs his neck again, to the point where the heat created by the friction starts to burn his skin. He takes his hand away and sticks it between his legs so he doesn’t rub the skin raw. The boys have been silent for the past few minutes after Yoongi’s speech and it’s unsettling. He almost wants to shrink into himself, to make himself small, so they forget he exists. “Are…are you planning on telling her you’re suga?” Namjoon asks.

“I… I don’t know. What if she doesn’t like me when she finds out I’m a pureblood? What about-“ Yoongi begins rambling all the doubts crossing his mind when Taehyung interrupts him.

“No! You have to tell her.”

“Tae it’s not-“

“No Yoongi. She deserves to know and if you won’t tell her I will.” Before any of the boys can calm down a fuming Kim Taehyung he bolts out of the room. The boys all look at him startled by his outburst. Hobi coughs to fill the awkward silence and Jimin sighs.

“I’m going to go find him. Come on kookie.” The boys head out to go find Tae and stop him from making a rash decision but from the pit growing in Yoongi’s stomach he knows it’s too late.

When you find a letter perched atop your desk you immediately jump out of bed and tear it open. You can feel your grin widen at just what Suga could’ve written today but it falters when you realize the handwriting is different. Confused you turn to the window, “Hol-Tannie? What are you doing here?” Perched on the window sill sits Tae’s black and brown horned owl. You remember when he first showed him to you, claiming that he loved his angry eyebrows. The owl doesn’t say anything unlike Holly who chirps in response when you speak to her and you feel your heart yearn for the sarcastic owl and it’s sarcastic owner. That yearning however does not stop you from giving Tannie the pets he deserves. He nuzzles his head into your hand making you smile as you realize you may have missed him more than you thought.

Tannie hoots as if reminding you for the reason he stopped by and you return your attention to Tae’s letter.

Kitten,

I’m sorry I haven’t written since I left. I know you’re probably thinking I replaced you or something but I didn’t. I couldn’t replace you even if I tried, not that I tried or anything. I promise you I will always purple you as purple is the last color of the rainbow colors so it means I will trust you and love you for a long time. I’ve also been really caught up in school lately and haven’t had much time to myself. I’ve been drilling the team really hard lately to make sure we’re ready for the Quidditch season. Your boy got captaincy for the second year in a row! I also decided to join frog choir like you said and I’m enjoying it. They put me as a baritone and I’ve been trying to become friends with my toad. He’s a little like Yoongi by seeming intimidating but I think he’s warming up to me. He croaked hello when I walked into practice yesterday. I’ve also been helping Hagrid with the magical creatures and have been nursing a unicorn foal which I’msure you’ve heard from Suga. That’s really the main reason for this letter.

There’s something you should know. Suga is lying to you. He’s really Yoongi, my friend you met at the bakery when that wizard started attacking you. The wizard that attacked you was also his brother. He’s a pureblood, Kitten and you need to be careful because his family isn’t the type to tolerate anyone less than a full-blown wizard. Especially not when they’re one of the oldest pureblood families left. I don’t think his family has even ventured into the muggle world. I just don’t want you getting hurt. If I had known sooner I would’ve told you before you got attached to Yoongi but I only just found out earlier today. We had to force it out of him. You don’t want to be with someone like that.

With all the love and purple in the world,

Your Tae

The ink on the page starts to swirl as your tears fall silently onto the paper below. You watch it erase Tae’s words but they remained ingrained in your memory. The wizard that attacked you was also his brother. He’s a pureblood Kitten and you need to be careful because his family isn’t the type to tolerate anyone less than a full-blown wizard. You’re not even really mad at the fact he lied about his identity. If what he told you was true about other’s perceptions based solely on his background you could understand. You’re more upset that the chances of him loving you back have gone from slim to none. You don’t think you’ve ever wished you were a witch more.

The next morning Yoongi awakes and turns to the window with a hopeful look in his eye. He’s praying that Jimin and Jungkook managed to get to Tae in time. Yet Holly is not sitting near the windowsill with a letter in her beak. Instead she’s sleeping soundly in her cage and Yoongi notices the letter he sent last night laying by his feet. With a shaky hand he brings it closer to examine the letter closely. He’s hoping it’s new mail and not what he thinks it is but the address written in his own writing stares back at him. His heart begins to break at the thought that she didn’t even bother to open it, just immediately sent it back. Maybe if she had read it she’d understand why he did what he did but kindness is not a luxury he’s used to so he shouldn’t be surprised. Nothing good lasts forever.

You spend the weekend at home. You’re not sure how your body has produced so many tears. At some point you’ve pulled the box that holds Suga’s Yoongi’s letters out from under your bed and have just been glaring at the box ever since. He must’ve known you’re not a pureblood so why go through the trouble of writing a letter everyday? Why bother to toy with your feelings when you should hold no significance to him? Maybe, that’s why. You don’t matter to him. You can feel yourself spiraling down the rabbit hole crashing against every negative thought on your way down. Each one beats you, bruises your already wounded heart. By the time you reach the bottom, maybe it’s just a ledge you managed to catch onto, you’re not so sure there’s an end. New tears are cascading down your cheeks, face flush from exhaustion, your mind a muddled collection of sad thoughts. You glance down and see the box again, each letter holding a piece of you in between the lines. The box slams against the wall with a loud clunk, the sound muffled by your scream of frustration, and you watch as the letters fly out before scattering around your floor.

Yoongi hasn’t left his room in three days. Each day he sends Holly back to Y/N’s house in hopes that she’ll return with a letter in her beak. He waits by the window until she returns silently, staring out into nothingness. Holly returns each night empty handed and upon her return Yoongi gives her a treat before falling on his bed and sleeping the sorrow away.

Jimin has had enough on the third day of Yoongi’s pity party and storms into his elder’s room. Yoongi is passed out on his bed a bottle of firewhiskey laying carelessly on the ground. Jimin sighs before picking the bottle up and transfiguring it into a spray bottle. Jimin sprays Yoongi continuously before he groans and wipes his face. “Oh thank god. I thought you were going to drown with the amount of water I’ve sprayed on you.” Jimin chuckles at his own joke, but is met with only silence. “How much did you drink last night?” Jimin says softly, sitting down on the edge of the bed to be eye level with Yoongi.

Yoongi sucks in a breath before his eyes glaze over and his mouth falls open. Jimin sprays him again. “How much?”

“Enough to think I’ve slept for about 20 hours straight.” Yoongi tries swallowing to alleviate the burn of his throat. It feels like he hasn’t talked in days, probably because he hasn’t.

“Yoongi…”

“I don’t want to hear it. I’m a fuck up I know.”

“No. You know you’re not. Do you think I’d be here missing my lessons if you were? I’m here because you’re not a fuck up. It’s okay to make mistakes Yoongi. It’s okay to pick the wrong decision and to fail. You just need to learn from it. And resorting to drinking,” Jimin holds up the empty bottle of firewhiskey for extra emphasis. “this is not how you learn. You learn from talking about what you did wrong and working through it. Hiding in your room from us and yourself is not the answer.” For the first time since he barged into his room Yoongi meets Jimin’s eyes. He can see the truth in him and for once he decides to believe in not only Jimin but himself.

“How do I fix this?”

You hear a subtle tap on your window and turn to see Holly pecking at the glass. You can tell by her mannerisms she’s confused just like the first time you met her. You haven’t closed your window since that day. You shake your head at her and tell her to go away but she remains persistent with her tapping. Infuriated you rip open the window only to have to duck as she darts inside. “I don’t want to hear what he has to say Holly!” You scream. You’ve had enough of Suga or Yoongi or whoever the hell he is.

She screeches back at you making you scream. It almost feels like you’re being reprimanded. You shrink back under her sharp gaze and crawl into your bed for safety. Seemingly pleased with your compliance, she chirps before pulling the ribbon holding something to her ankle. With a clang the object hits the floor and when you crane your neck to get a better look you realize that it’s a mixtape. You can’t help but laugh. He really thinks you can trust his words now? Holly ignores you before flying down to the floor and pressing the middle of the mixtape and immediately a song fills the room. You don’t know why you’re surprised that he’s charmed the thing, he is a wizard after all. A pureblood wizard at that, who won’t want anything to do with a muggle like you.

“Holly I don’t-“ You stop mid-sentence as a voice cuts over the instrumental. It’s a deep and raspy voice, a voice you remember even though it had been months since the bakery incident. Maybe part of you hoped out of all of Tae’s friends Suga would be Yoongi.

“Someday you’ll also understand my words. my seasons were always you, my cold heart is 248 degrees below zero. It stopped the day you erased me, damn. I’m just orbiting you. I missed you, I lost you. I’m just going in circles. You erased me, you forgot me.” Your breath catches in your throat and you can feel a frog leap up your throat. You let out a choked sob at the realization. He cared. He cared and had feelings for you but you left him. You’re no better than the people he told you about, the ones who judged him based on his bloodline even though he defended you. Even though he went against his own family. How could you have been so blind?

“Taehyung!” Yoongi calls upon seeing the tall brunette at the end of the hall. Yoongi watches hurt as Taehyung stiffenes before disappearing amongst the crowd of students. It’ll be a lot harder than he thought to get Tae to talk to him.

Yoongi later manages to catch Tae alone down by the black lake and takes it as his time to strike. Quietly he makes his way over before sitting down next to him and looking out onto the lake. He can see Tae look over at him and sigh in his peripherals before taking Taehyung’s hand in his before Tae can walk off. “I’m sorry.” Tae scrunches his eyebrows and Yoongi sighs before releasing Tae to run his hands over his face. “I know she’s your best friend and I should’ve just been honest from the start. I was just scared that she’d not want to talk to me anymore if she knew who I really was. It was easier to hide behind suga but I wasn’t being honest to anyone. I’m sorry I lied to you and hurt both you and your best friend. I let my insecurities get the best of me and it ended up hurting everyone I love.”

Tae visibly swallows before taking a deep breath. “So you love her?”

“Yeah I do.” A small smile makes it’s way on to his face as he pictures her standing there in her oversized robes. It’s been months since he saw her and yet she is still a clear image in his mind. He’s too lost in his thoughts to see Tae observing his reaction before lacing his hands together.

“It wasn’t because you lied. I mean it was a little but that wasn’t the main issue.” Yoongi turns his head to fully look at Taehyung. Not only has the younger seemed to fold into himself but his voice is also smaller, quieter. An abnormality for Kim Taehyung. Yoongi turns back to the lake to give Tae privacy as he bares his soul to him. “I… I love her too. And not in the friend way, in the I want to kiss you way. I even tried to confess by giving her a dark red carnation which means love and adoration but she didn’t get it. I should’ve known since herbology isn’t a required course for muggles.”

“Muggles?”

“Oh yeah. She’s a muggle.”

“Then how’d she get into Diagon Alley? And who’s robes was she wearing?”

“Me and mine. I snuck her in.” Tae gives a sheepish smile before continuing. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“No Tae it does matter. You need to tell her and since you loved her first I’ll back off.”

“No! She… she can’t find out. She doesn’t love me like that, but she does love you like that. And I’d rather have her in my life as my friend than have her as nothing because I know I can get over my feelings for her but she can’t. It’ll make us awkward and I can’t lose my best friend.”

“Are you sure?” Yoongi’s mind is spinning. He has so many thoughts in his head he doesn’t know which to focus on. The fact that one of his best friends loves the same girl as him? The fact that Taehyung is letting Yoongi confess instead of himself? The fact that she loves him back? Wait… “She loves me back? How do you know?”

“Yeah. A best friend just kind of knows these things you know. Plus I asked my owl how she reacted to the letter and he made crying sounds. She also wouldn’t have wrote to you everyday if she didn’t.” Tae gives Yoongi a sad smile before clapping him on the shoulder. “Go and make my best friend happy.” He stands up and is about 3 yards away before Yoongi breaks out of his spell.

“Tae!” The younger stops and turns to face Yoongi, stumbling back as he’s met with a hug. “Thank you. You truly are the better man.” When Yoongi steps back both Tae and himself have tears in their eyes.

“I think we’re both equal. But if you hurt her I’m beating your ass.” The boys both laugh.

“I hope you do.” Yoongi says before dashing across the courtyard and towards his room.

You’re sitting outside on your porch enjoying the fall weather. You’re curled into your swinging chair that took years to convince your parents to buy with a blanket and book curled in your lap. The book is a romance, one of those sappy ones you’re using to fill the void. You’ve begun to read over the character names and place yourself and Yoongi as the main characters and reading with anticipation as to whether they’ll get a happy ending. You think at least one version of you deserves one.

Chewing on your lip, you hastily read towards the climax praying to anyone who might hear you that you and Yoongi the main characters get together after everything they just went through. You’re startled by the sound of a car door slamming and look up to meet a set of cold but warm eyes. Except the longer you keep contact the more the ice melts until he’s standing in front of you with warm pools of brown. You stand up and find yourself getting lost in them, drowning in the rich color, and wonder if maybe you read too much in one go and now your brain is hallucinating. The cold hand on your cheek however tells you that you’re not imagining him. That he’s real and here and he came back for you. “Yoongi?”

His nose scrunches before a gummy smile breaks out onto his face. You reciprocate the gesture before leaning in closer. You want to take in everything while it’s right here in front of you. You want to take in the lines on his face, the texture of his skin, the flecks of color in his eyes. You want to take in everything that makes him who he is. “Babygirl” You feel your knees nearly give out at the long awaited nickname.

“Finally found one huh? Although for how long it took you, I would’ve thought that it’d be something more original.” He just nudges his nose against yours.

“Don’t ruin the moment.” You laugh lightly and his eyes flutter as your breath gently hits his skin. He wraps his other arm around you before placing a tentative kiss on your mouth. It’s almost like he’s afraid he’ll break you again. Like you didn’t mend all the fragments the first time. When he pulls away slightly you keep your eyes closed hoping he’ll get the hint to kiss you again. He does and you find yourself getting lost in his touch. His lips move in sync against yours and you sigh into the kiss placing your hands on his chest to keep balance. With your arms out of the way he pulls you in even closer until you’re pressed flush against him. Your cheeks heat up at the action but you’re too engrossed in the way his body feels against yours to get bashful. He nips softly at your lower lip and only then do you pull away.

His lips are tinged a deep rose and are shiny from the passion of your kiss. You don’t think you’ve ever seen something so beautiful. Your heart swells with pride at the fact that you were the one to do this to him. That it was your lips and your being that captured his affection. “I listened to your song. I didn’t pull away because I didn’t love you. I pulled away because I thought you didn’t love me. I thought you’d hate me because I was a muggle and had no magic.”

“Babygirl, I’ve never cared about blood status.”

“Yeah I get that now.” You both give each other soft smiles.

“Besides those lips of yours are pure magic. I think I could kiss them all day. ” You turn away with a blush dusting your cheeks and laugh.

“Shut up Yoongi.” He pulls you back to him so once again you’re facing him. You smile again before kissing the tip of his nose.

“What was that for?”

“You’re just cute. Can I not shower you with my love?” You jut out your bottom lip and Yoongi smiles again before tugging on it lightly.

“Only if I can shower you with mine.”

“Oh wow. The big bad pureblood is actually a softy. Who would’ve guessed?”

“I really hope that’s the last time you refer to me as that.”

“Softy or bbp?”

“Both.”

“Yoongles then?” Your face breaks out into a grin as his breaks out into a frown.

“Who told you about that?” You bite your lip to keep from laughing.

“I have my sources.” You wiggle your eyebrows before darting out of his grasp and running into the house.

“Park Jimin!”

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ilovemygaydad · 6 years ago

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a sanders sides umbrella academy au

has this been done? maybe. do i care? absolutely not.

warning: lots of emotional trauma, unhealthy coping habits, abusive family, major character death, murder, ghosts, super-humans, mentions of the apocalypse, anxiety, depression, swearing, food mentions, drug mentions, alcoholism, substance abuse, sympathetic deceit, an oc, spoilers for the umbrella academy, possibly other things

pairings: qpps one/three

i only thought this through for the main seven and mom because uhhh yeah and a quick shoutout to @deskofrandom, who allows me to talk through aus

number one (orig. luther); peter (pride oc). he's got super strength and leader skills. idolizes dad because he was the favorite. he’s kind of an asshole, but like... he tries? he was adopted from the uk

number two (orig. diego); logan. feelings? ew. super cool knife man. hopelessly in love with det. eugene patch, who left him due to his vigilante status. kind of against seven because of instilled prejudice against him, but still loves all of his siblings nonetheless (except peter a lot of the time). he’s got a soft spot for four because he won’t let his idiot brother go hungry. when he was a kid, he had a horrible stutter, but he got over it with the help of mom. he was adopted from mexico

number three (orig. allison); dc. liar man. has vitiligo and is an Actor. loves his daughter so much even though that Shit went down by abusing his rumor power. kind of a bitch, but like.... he’s a lot nicer than one is most of the time. tries to keep up his image. he was adopted from the us

number four (orig. klaus); roman. disaster gay. he can talk to and summon ghosts (but he generally is the only one able to see them). has so much fucking ptsd it isn't even funny. bffds (best friends for death) with number six. addiction has really fucked him up, but who cares to add another tick to the wall when you've already got a lifetime's worth of shit pent up inside of you? not this guy. he was adopted from ireland

number five; sleep. named based on the fact that it's something that he never does. coffee addict. spiteful gay. swears Too Much. abuses his teleportation abilities maybe a little too much, but who can blame him? i don't want to walk the five feet to the fridge either, and he survived the apocalypse for multiple decades after accidentally time traveling there and getting stuck. he’s currently wanted by the commission because he’s trying to stop said apocalypse, and he is not having that shit at All. he was adopted from brazil

number six (orig. ben); patton. really Did Not want to have to use his powers, ever. he hated that he killed people so much. he just wanted to cuddle with his siblings and spread love. his death was honestly a bit of a blessing because he didn't have to be the horror anymore. he loves to talk to roman because it sucks not having anyone to talk to because... he’s kind of a ghost, you know? gets a little sassy, but he wants roman to take care of himself more. he was adopted from e. asia

number seven (orig. vanya); virgil. a complete outcast. he obviously doesn't remember his powers. his only friend was sleep, but then sleep disappeared, and... that went out the drain. all of the shunning for being "normal" really weighed down on him, and he ended up developing really bad anxiety and depression. he is easily manipulated because he wants to avoid conflict as much as possible, and he has trauma to rival four's. he was adopted from russia

mom (orig. mom/grace); valerie. she’s a nanny android that the kids affectionately call mom. she pretty much raised them. hargreeves treated her like shit, but she obviously didn’t realize (programming’s a bitch). helped two overcome his stutter. she’s just a sweetheart, tbh. i’d die for her.

feel free to add on to this or write about it! all i ask is that you tag me :)

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #ts deceit #sympathetic deceit #i... may or may not hate number one #i'm SORRY he's not my favorite okay #m writes things #tua!au #the umbrella academy

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juniemunie · 6 years ago

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HTTYD Books: How To Ride a Dragon’s Storm Commentary :P (w/text pictures!)

((shoutout to astrid-the-fearless that started the whole thing and giving me permission <3))

Yoooo this is how far I’m in the books right now thanks to the blessing of pdfs and I thought; “Hey? Lemme try reacting to this!!”

Mind you, this is ridiculously long and it’s all because of the pictures I added in lmao so peruse for your amusement ((I might continue this just for kicks :P))

So it begins!

-everything went wrong when the fire nation attacked

-OOh! Swimming competition?? Don’t count me in!! I’m terrible at swimming, in fact, I don’t know how to do it at all!!! :DDD

-of course the competition has to have a spice of suicidal bravery and possible death

-clueless, tf dude

-aRE WE GONNa TIME TRaVEL??? WHaTS THE WHOLE aLaRM THING OLD WRINKLY??? EXPLaINNNN HoW DID U EVEN KNOW????

-the judges are basically 99% old dudes 99% of the time

-aweeee toothless u cutie

-snotlout my boy, sometimes i really want to strangle u, u know

-yooo sTOICK U'RE DOING UR BEST THE BEST ISNT aLaWYS THE MOST OBVIOUS he's trying im proud that he's trying

-good ol teamwork

-nONONONONO DONT TRUST EM

-u got bamboozled

-only in the near end of his life, yeah

-oh man hes gonna kill em again

-same

-awe, she's just like meatlug

-uh oh

-bet y'all it gets worse

-damn straight

-sHOOT CaMI NOOO-

-i hear the Jaw's theme song guys

-tOOTHLESS KEEPS TRYING ;-;

-well you're a jolly dragon23

-how was this marketed for children again

-brUH U SERIOUS?? I JUST THOUGHT IT Was only nORBERT

-woh fist time getting a look on nobert and he looks cool

-whoops u gon axe him again??

-u mean an unfortunate series of events??? wink wink

-i wouldn't go there if i were you its completely messy there

-buddy this dude has survived so many times out of pure dumb luck

-theres still more to go hiccup so much more

-awww this is such a throwback to the first book

-norbert is a crazy inventive dude i wanna see how well he goes with movie hiccup in the right circumstances :/

-thats a problem

-im not sure whether to be terrified or impressed

-yoooo hiccup youre right youre prize is absolute misery

oh no

-whoops i guess this is where he became a slave??

-bitter grandma is bitter than all my mates when discussing love42

-oH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD THIS IS IT HES GOING TO BECOME a SLaVE HOLD ME

-nONONONONONONONO NOOOOOOOO

-my poor boy my POOR BOY

-oh man i knew this already but its still giving me shivers

-look at these drunk cuties lmao

-perfect excuse toothless hiccup totally believes u

-yOOO dragon nip exists in the books too!!!??

-This is one happy lot

-( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

-Uh oh

-Look at this happy boy <3

-U sure??? I don’t think so

-Oh shit.

-oHHHH shitTTTT

-u aint wrong tho

-hahahaAHAHAHAHA not yET

-well fuck

-YO. WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE.

-Oh. My fucking god.

-pHYSICS WHY WOULD YOU BETRAY US-

-Knock knock its death’s doorstep

-Chances are, it wont.

-yEP

-“dafuq, why the hell is he running at us??” “maybe he’s given up”

“is it just me or is that an eye back there? “oh sHIT-“

-Y’all these kids know the drill already

-Toothless’ still asleep during the whole ordeal lmao

-So that’s how it works…69

-Stuff like that usually happens boyo they’ll prolly be back

-Poor Ronald.

-Not anOTHER ONE

-Shouldve made a spare and changed it while you were still in the border smh *Cinema Sins Ding*

-same

-a terrifying but intriguing thought.

-These sweet loyal kids backin up their parents yo ((Poor Fishlegs))

-i like the books that they portray a more worrier Stoick but the movieversion is also great too

-DON’T BELIEVE IT STOICK

-This LITTLE SHIT

-what??? really?? That’s a dumb revenge excuse :/

-We DON’T

-Holy shit he survived ((just like his third son cOUGH COUGH))

-In short; “Sorry to disappoint the masses, but I AM STILL ALIVE”83

-YOOOOO OLD WRINKLY KNEW??? HE’S AWESOME aND INSaNE!

-Poor stoick, tbh if he was movie stoick he’d have a heartattack by now

-Shit I feel bit teary in the eyes-DON’T LOOK AT ME!

-True just like this post that has way too much pictures like tf

-Sweet, but WHY WOULD yOU LEaVE THEM BEHIND???

-tbh this is both true

-Basically every country that was going to pillage America

-Oh shit times up

-whA-AA-At???

-Hiccup u little shit

-Discrimination between hair color too??? Jesus. Just when I thought skin colors -were ridiculous

-Have I told y’all I love sword fighting hiccup?? Because I do

-Nooo not his poor beard agaIN

-Oh. Oh no.

-fuck.

-Godzilla??? That u??

-tHINK aGaIN

-Tbh cats are sometimes really cruel ; - ;

-Nope. Theres always a chance of death bro

-OF COURSE IT WaS.

-This ridiculously huge shit

-Geezus. You’re fucked hiccup.

-Press F to pay respect

-ToothLESS HICCUP IS GONNa FUCKIN DIE

-TOOTHLESS U LITTLE SHIT

-Tbh, he does have a point

-Friendly reminder hiccup wrote this himself

-Hiccup the Insane. Sounds about right

-Me procrastinating some stuff i cant procrastinate while everything is going wrong

-yOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

-yOOOOOOOO tf he doin??

-“yo bro”

“yeah loki?”

“some kid’s asking for your help. It’s getting pretty intense.”

“really? Lemme see”

“see?”

*whistles* “wow, he’s crazy. I like it.”

-“wtf is this dumb redhead doing??” everyone thought simultaneously

-oHHHHHH LIGHTNING LIKES METaL!!!!

-Benjamin Franklin can eat HIS HEaRT OUT123

“wow thor, you actually helped”

“¯\_(ツ)_/¯”

“how tf did you say that”

-Ship: If I die, I die with STYLE.((Like Grimbeard fucker sang to his death while burning his entire kingdom down))

-SWIM FISHLEGS SWIM ((wow he c an swim now amazing what near death experiences teach you))

-Poor toothless ; - ;126

-Itsss the cirrccccleeeeee the ciiirrrccclleeeee of liiiiiifeeeee

-Lets hope I wont learn to swim in this emotionally draining way 0-0

-Tbh this is kinda terrifying imagine if they died this way 0-0

-I KNEW THEYD BE BaCK YOU BETTER BRING HICCUP aBOaRD U LITTLE SHIT

-Oh thank god

-In short; “we have ship standards, peasants.”

-LaTE FOR a VERY IMPORTaNT DaTE

-G G. u did ur best lol

-yEEEE YOU BEST KNOW IT HICCUP Me BOYYY

-They gONNa FLYYYYY

-FISHLEGS MY BOY WERE GONNa DO IT WHETHER U WaNT TO OR NOT

-That’s THE TRUE CHIEFTaN WaY BOIS EXaCTLY HOW STOICK DIED- I mean shit uh

-Awww berk would love u back in their own way too

-*sobbing in the distance* ((fuckin alvin))

-yOU BET THEY ALL ARE

-“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!” screamed the Reader.

-Happy sweet old senile future guessing dudes make me happy ; v ;

-How tf would it be deer

-Just like Grimbeard did.

-YOOOO IM SO PROUD OF YOU FISHLEGSSSS

-“IM SORRY TO DISAPPOINT THE MASSES, BUT I AM STILL ALIVE.”

-SNOTLOUT DO U WANT TO BE DEAD??? ((before your proper death))

-When Old Wrinkly is mad at u, you better be ashamed of urself.

-He really is Grimbeard’s Heir ain’t he? ; v ;

-Uhhh more common than u think boyo *turns to Harry Potter*

-oooHHH u done for gumboil

-My heart kindly says mercy, but my mind screams revenge

-SHit stop giving me ides to draWWWWW

-Somethings are often just found at home <3 like my MISSING PENCIL WHERE TF IS IT

-Summary of Httyd 2 Hiccup

-SO MUCH WISDOM IN THE EPILOGUE HICCUP SLOW DOWN

-Nooo HICCUPPPP- THE DRagONSSSSS

-DON’T REMIND ME OF THE SLaVEMaRK U CRUEL BEING

wow

that was a ride from start to end. (pUN INTENDED)

things are getting intensee

*scrambles to read the next book*

#httyd books #comments #this was fun #how to train your dragon #how to train your dragon books #httyd

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flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash · 7 years ago

Text

Eleven Questions

I was tagged by the amazing @jeffreydeanneganstrash @neganismyobsession and @sherrybaby14 to play this game.

Rules.

1. Post the Rules. 2. Answer the questions given to you. 3. Make 11 questions of your own. 4. Tag 11 people.

Since I was tagged 3 times, I’m gonna slightly cheat by answering the 33 questions I was asked, then write 11 of my own questions to tag 11 people in (rather than create 33 questions which I would spend all night coming up with lol).

I’m putting a keep reading bar because this got hella long.

@neganismyobsession‘s Questions:

1. Favorite movie genre?

Lately, it seems to be horror, although I’m always a sucker for a good romance.

2. If you could bring one thing to show your favorite celebrity, what would it be?

Tbh, if I ever met JDM, I’d love to magically have the resources to print out a copy of ID to give him, or at the very least take the first chapter and ask him to sign it. No shame lol

3. Who is your favorite fanfic writer?

Just one?!?! Oh god...I read fanfiction in so many fandoms that I literally can’t say I have one favorite. However, I’m gonna give a shoutout to my girl @hannibalssweaters whose writing has introduced me to some kinks I didn’t even know I was into, and has had me reading fics about characters/fandoms I’m not even involved with. If you haven’t read her stuff, I strongly encourage it (altho heed the warnings).

4. If you could live anywhere where money was not an issue, where would you live?

Ireland, most likely

5. What brought you to Tumblr originally?

Oh wow...that was back in like 2011, and I only made a tumblr because my undergrad roommates were talking about it and told me that I should, so I did lol

6. What is your favorite past time?

Reading...does that count?

7. If the zombie apocalypse did happen, what is the first thing you would do?

Pack up my cats and attempt to make it back to my hometown, although that’s a 4 hour drive away so idk if I’d make it. But I’d have a much better chance of survival in my small hometown out in the woods than I’d ever have here in a major city. I honestly think I’d be pretty fucked and die really quickly just trying to get out of here.

8. What is one movie you could watch over and over and not get tired of it?

Pride & Prejudice

9. If you could have been born in another time era, what time era would you pick?

Tbh, the reality of any past era is not one I’d be interested in, especially as a woman. But I love reading romance novels set in various historical eras.

10. If you could be a famous person, who would you be?

Hmm...maybe Taylor Swift? Just to know what that level of fame would be like, but also because she’s relatable enough with her cats and old lady habits that I wouldn’t feel totally unlike myself lol

11. Apple or Android?

Apple

@jeffreydeanneganstrash‘s Questions:

1. Was there a book or movie that you read/watched that truly disappointed you? If so, which book/movie and why?

Book: The Game of Thrones series. I love the show (although I’m a few seasons behind) and bought the first 4 books, planning on trying to catch up and surpass where the show was, so I could know what happens next. I barely made it halfway through the first book before giving up. I was so disappointed that I just had no interest in it at all, and was forcing myself to read it. It wasn’t worth the dedication needed to read those beast-sized novels, if I wasn’t enjoying them.

2. If you could travel back in time, where would you go?

I kinda stated above how I personally would not wanna go back in time, because I like having more rights now as a woman than we have had in the past haha. I’m also not super into history, so I’m good with leaving the past in the past.

3. What is your favourite quote or song lyric?

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” ~Marilyn Monroe

4. Who is you least favourite “popular” celebrity and why?

Donald. Fucking Donald. Do I even need to explain why?

5. When there’s something strange in your neighbourhood…who are you gonna call?

Hmm...I usually call my mother or grandmother in any panicky situations, so I guess one of them? Although they live 4 hours away, so idk how helpful they’d be if it was a physical danger lol.

6. Would you ever play with a ouija board?

Fuck no

7. If you could be a part of any T.V./Movie universe, which would it be?

Most TV shows I watch are ones where human women end up dead way too often lmao. Uhhh...Harry Potter, perhaps?

8. Do you prefer mornings or nights?

Nights, definitely. Even though I have to be at work at 8am, I don’t think I’ll ever totally get used to that early morning shit.

9. Can you name 11 things that are around you?

couch, fluffy blanket, glass of water, laptop, cell phone, coffee table, 2 books on said coffee table, cat scratch post, 2 cats, purse, boots

10. Black or white?

Black

11. What is the soundtrack to your life?

One song that I relate to a lot and jam out to is Alessia Cara’s “Wild Things” lol. Also, just about anything by Taylor Swift or Kelly Clarkson is usually pretty relatable.

@sherrybaby14‘s Questions:

1. Favorite Holiday?

Thanksgiving (which is coming up!) or my birthday, if that counts

2. Santa is going to bring you one toy this year. What do you ask for?

Heh...I’d probably pick out one of the super expensive sex toys that I’ve seen and lamented being unable to afford.

3. If money were not a concern, what would your dream job be?

Being a published writer

4. What are your favorite type of puzzles?

Ohhh I love puzzles of all kinds. I went through a phase a couple of years ago with large jigsaw puzzles that I then glued and framed. But I also love Sudoku, which I haven’t done in forever.

5. What was your first kiss like?

Drunk and nothing special

6. If you had to change your first name, what name would you pick?

I’d refuse. I love my first name. It’s unique, and I rarely ever meet anyone else with it.

7. What is the best dessert you can make?

I make some pretty bangin’ chocolate chip pumpkin cookies from scratch.

8. What are you thankful for this year?

I feel like I went through quite a few stressful and heartbreaking tests this year, such as being unexpectedly evicted from my apartment due to renovations earlier in the year, and watching one of my cats lose his health over a period of 6 months and having to finally make the decision to put him down in August. Both those situations were ones where I just wanted to let my mental health tank, let the depression take over, and give up. So, I’m really thankful for my support system. For my family who offered support, for my friends offline who were always there to talk, come over and let me vent, or help me in whatever ways they could. I was also incredibly thankful for my tumblr family. The Negan fandom (and some lovelies in the Supernatural fandom) provided so much support to me that I will be forever thankful for. I had so many people message me about both situations, and I even received over $200 in ko-fi donations for my writing, to help out with moving expenses. I don’t have enough words to even express how much all the messages and asks and just the aura of support I received, both on here and offline, meant to me. Because of that support from those around me, I was able to keep myself from falling prey to my depression, was able to find a new apartment that I absolutely love, and was able to make it through the loss of Sebastian (and I now own a new kitten who has helped patch up both my grief and my other cat’s grief, and refill both our hearts with love). So, to everyone who sent me a message, sent donations, and/or just had me in your thoughts...thank you. I couldn’t have kept it together and made it through without y’all.

(Sorry, that got uber cheesy XD)

9. Do you decorate for Christmas? If so, do you have any theme?

Ha, no. The cats would destroy any decorations, so I don’t even make the effort.

10. Do you enjoy getting ready (i.e. hair, makeup, clothes)?

Eh, not like I used to when I was younger. I take maybe 15 minutes to throw myself together for work in the morning. It’s only a few select times a year when I’m either going home or to a friend’s house for a holiday (or the one time a year when I go out drinking for my birthday) when I enjoy putting on music and taking my time getting all made up and going all out with makeup and such.

11. Favorite store to shop in?

Probably Target. Or Kohl’s.

Now, for My Questions:

1. Do you have any pets? If so, what species, and what are their names?

2. Your favorite place that you’ve traveled to?

3. What are you currently reading?

4. One thing that you’re currently looking forward to?

5. Where do you hopefully see yourself in 5 years?

6. Your favorite flavor of ice cream?

7. What’s the best piece of advice that you’ve ever received?

8. Favorite brand/chain/type of coffee?

9. One thing you never leave home without?

10. Name 3 things (can be physical, emotional, etc.) that you love about yourself.

11. If you were to recommend one published book/series for me to read, what would it be?

I’m gonna just tag a bunch of people since I answered more than 11 questions: @i-am-negan-trash @hannibalssweaters @strangersangel9 @vizhi0n @mrs-squirrel-chester @kellyn1604 @seraphimkouenki @superprincesspea @megmeg-chan @noodlecupcakes @faith-in-dean @sweetsweetpeach @ryangoslingstanktop @negan--is--god @thegirl-fromthesky @hazel-nuss @backseat-negan @autumnescape @wickednerdery @bamby0304 @embracetheapocalypsewithme @wheresthekillswitch @rapsity @supernaturally-lucky @superwholoki

#personal #about me #questions

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brothalynchhung · 5 years ago

Text

2019 overview.

this year.. was fucking two years in one. also a little late again but whatever. this is going to be long as FUCK.

started 2019 in dubai

spent the first couple of days in Dubai on the beach

YOOO AS AM WRITING THAT IT FEELS SO FUCKING LONG AGO HOLLYY SHITT

went to London and just fucked around dt and chinatown lost that damn snake ring fml

I got drunk eating dumplings watching Jeffrey star in that bed LMFAOOOYOO LMFAOOOOOEGJEORIGHSREUG

got back to Ottawa and it was straight GRIND from the get go

back to my last semester of uni

back to club m (omg.. I miss:( kinda lol)

started that govt job

back to social media marketing for Dubai

3 jobs + school basically

did that dumbass STUPID FUCKING govt job all the way in quebec that I woke up for and travelled for everyday

would go straight to gym, work again, or school fml

wasn't entirely bad I kinda needed it cuz I applied to a million jobs during that time and did school work LMAO also printed a lot of important shit and got paid so whatever

CAME TO TORONTO IN MARCH W TRAND OMG I FORGOT THAT WAS 2019

SAW VINCE STAPLES!!

AND The fortune teller who like prophisized all this shit goddddd

iconic if I must say

little did I know...

I miss movati fml lol

working at club Monaco omg ugh they gave me life honestly

fun times w trang cc precious Courtney mich JACK Amanda Raman donia even tho she annoying lol and whoever else I worked w jana jil Daria honestly I just miss Courtney LMFAO uhh jenn was cool too

I'm never going to forget that place I swear to god I have so much loyalty and pride for my memories for that place im never going to take my experience there for

chilling with avid Vinny and like Alex a bit LMAO he would randomly ask to chill it was weird

that Chinese dinner and chat time thing in his car WHAT WAS THATTT

chilling like a scrub a cu with hector and that crew goddLMAO

avin vin rideau gang

visiting avid at nordstorm the Rui girl and Herman lol he was sofunny

MY BODY IS FOR ME NOT THESE BITCHES LMFAOO

last class with strangle omg he was iconic honestly

trang pargol fidede zainab mannnn honestly shoutout old Ottawa friends

xinyii!! and jelly!! my last times with them

I miss Xinyi so much :( im so happy I got to see her before leaving she was so nice I wish her so much success

remember working those last shifts at cm like.. yo I feel like things are going to change and my days are numbered.. I feel it.

did interview after interview, applying EVERYDAY to escape

the amount of focusing I did on applying around feb and April like I was just focused on working and getting out of there

did two interviews in like 2 hours always on the go always moving always working

and then like clockwork.. at the govt job.. went to the bathroom knew? to bring my phone with me.. and then right when I left I got a call from mk went into that empty conference room and got the offer. cried. accepted. life changing

I honestly just left that place... went to cm and just.. resigned... put my two weeks in...

and it happened literally in my last week of the govt job..

like fate

immediately went home told cc precious fam

fam weren't happy

BUT I FINALLY ESCAPED!!!! LOOKING BACK ON THIS BLOG AND EVERYTHING I FINALLY F I N A L L Y GOT OUT OF THERE THE BITCH ASS CURSED SHIT CITY NEVER GOING BACKEGIUEHGEIRUGH

shout out precious for helping me honestly he helped so much

found my place through hmida who held it down

that whole condo scenario LOL godddd my landlord a HOE

met zgy gvy at precious while I crashed a night

THE MILLIONS OF RIDESHARESSS GOODDDDDD

remember the one I took last minute from Yorkdale LMAO that one wasn't bad honestly I slept good

moving my things packaging them up. like yo.. lol

bringing the boxes from shoppers godddd LOL

finally landed in Toronto with my place

waiting outside for 5 hours for my damn keys crazy with my suitcase lol...

THEN FINALLY GOT TO MY FIRST PLACE!! MY FIRST RENTAL CONDO ALL ON MY OWN NO ROOMATES JUST ME

unpacking my things

like just finally having my own place mannn that was my dream for such a long ass time

getting around dt a bit getting used to tdot...

crazy exciting

then... 3 days in..

...

met that bitch that fucked me up

met everything I ever wanted in a person? physically and interest wise and yet?

nothing?

SO CONFUSED I MET SOMEONE WITH EVERYTHING I THOUGHT I WANTED

first hookup? lost v?

new city new job new life new home lost v new everything

in 3 days.

my life crazy..

spent the whole time like until October till low-key NOW just thinking about it bitterly

my feelings up and down I was drowning in obsession and confusion

I know I fucked it up but it was fucked up since the beginning

shook everything about what I thought I wanted in gl or a person

standards are definitely raised and all men trash and hoes Idgaf

I feel nothing towards nobody

my whole mind switched to money and power.

gl I love you but you're not here and we got a lot growing to do so imma see ya ass in a couple of years

anyways started working at mk!!! craziest 3 month probation thing I had

HOWWW DID I DOOOO ITTTTTTT

met so much people... holy shit.. zgy,gvy,hailey,gab,aisha,priya,rach,lisa,alex,DANIA, goddddd

clubbing.. mon., thurs... weekenddd... wake up... 8:30 work

how did I do it.... fuck lol

met a lot of hoes.. fucked with Sunday once more before he died bye bitch ass hoe.. Leo, sleeve, uhhh that's it I think actually

CABANNNAAAA

OMG I SAW SEAN PAUL LIVE ICONICC YOO THIS FUCKING YEAR LMFAOOOOO

omg YEAH I SAW NCT IN MY FIRST WEEK OF TO WITH PARGOL LMFAOOO YOOOOO

damn this year was crazy I keep forgetting shit

all the weird ass ppl I met at cabana omg the humber guy YOO THE ASIAN GUY WITH MY KEYS LMFAOOO ZGY FUCKLMFGIESH

omg tsf lmao and like yeah all the clubbing ppl in to fuck

half and half like didnnt know if I liked it or not but it was crazy

still think about that Frans night the damn milkshake and food omggg

just spent summer exploring to trinity Bellwoods ossington like summer stories clubbing stories

managing my double life lol

SPIDERMAN OBSESSION LMAOOOO TO DISTRACT MY MIND FROM THAT BITCH ASS HOE LMFAOOFREJGIEURHSTESUIH THEN I FOUND OUT HE HAS A WHOLE WIFE AND BABY YOOO LMFAOOO

good distraction made work fun when I needed it during my last months of probation LMAO

omg going home during lunch and then back to work ICONIC

leaving the girls at my place and coming back for lunch LMAOOO god really iconic honestly showering and going back to work sleeping hoeing all that LMFAO

omg the time I left Leo at my place YOO LMAO

still have that expensive ass sweater LMFAO WAT A SIMP

those drunk texts he sent Me in august and I punked him off LMFAOO 😩😂

men trash

darren Chris rob goddd all those damn ppl I met the one guy who saved me during that blacTHE BLACKOUT CABANNA NIGHT GOD THAT WAS A MESS LMAO TITTIES OUT EVERYTHING but yeah he was low key useless I forget his name highboy but whatever

YOOO THAT GIRLS TITTIES I SLEPT ON NGEIRGHEUHUE ICONIC

I got catfishes twice 😩 the change bitch and the John bitch airehguerihserh FUCKKK LMFAO

AND THEN THE CHANG BITCH WAS TRYNA SAY OH U JSUT LOOK TO ARAB THATS WHY WE HAVNET TALKED AGAINL IKE BITCHHHHH FIRST OF ALL UR A WHOLE CATFISHFHERGUERBKSHETERU AHERUIGESRUYR LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

and then I catfish Sunday to punk him off for revenge and call him a thot and thought he was talking about me for catfish when it was just about another bitch he was hoeing with cuz he a hoe.. Jesus my life wild

SO MUCH SHIT THIS SUMMER UHERGHSREG

gained weight fml I don't even wanna mention it iDONT WANNA TALK

even if it is muscle I dDONT WANNT TALK ABOUT IT

the cabana pool jump... godd... walking home drunkregiuhersguhe fucK

summer was crazy

nada and mama coming wow that was annoying I rlly can't do family even though I love them

getting high swimming the catfish racing munchies arguing with Alex LMAO

eating out with Dania gab Lisa the normal ppl I met lool

a lot of stress of money and where I want to go I was in a hella rush idk why I think everything happening so fast made me not want to slow down at all but im finally slowing down

priya end of the year rebel tiff stuff

basically drowning in depress and regret around the end of summer cuz everything calmed down and I had the time to think and reflect about everything and yeah.. got super depressed

that bitch cc and her bullshit yo just fucking go bye

notice how there's like no memories with her like yeah there was but they were just annoying cuz she was annoying highkey

thanks for bringing my shit from Ottawa tho dumbass LOL eat a dick

THE HOT TUBBBB SUMMERSSS AND SUMMER NIGHTS

omg all my emo ass walks at night to the port and water and trillium park in the morning aiohreughresehre writing with my journal god that was actually nice tho

super peaceful so happy to live near the water highkey

always in between losing myself who am I what do I do now who am I like did I lost myself did I ever have myself

major existential crisis

how did I survive work god

musicmusiscmusicccc

moviesmovesmoves

readreadread

actually I had a lot of night walking home from the club sad

omg remember the ovo guy fucking loser liar

as usualllll

RECORDRESCORSDCRECORDDSSS SO MANY TDOT IS PERFECTT

ugh what else fuck too much shit happened OH YEAH

my birthday with the girls and the bbq!! the cake!! omg so nice :((( so funny lol

that weirdo ass man that I still see in the gym sometimes god help me lol

passing my probation!!!! and then like finally fitting in and feeling apart of mk and the “family” lol

CLARK KENT AND SCOTTISH MANS MAKING MY LIFE EVRYDAYYYYYugh love them

got a moomin from Scottish mans 🥺 love him

anyways got depressed drowning in obsession.. nothing surprising there 🙄

got high and drunk like bottom of the barrel...

right before pargol came LMAO

oh yeah I went to Ottawa because yo I was going out of my mind about losing myself.. needed to go BACK to the place I hated to find myself

went back and it was like??? everything was the same.. still saw vin and avid and Herman at Rideau still had bbt with them

still fucking around hector and that whole crew had Ivan his girl moe.. ribal..Kyle YO lol that weird ass club experience AS USUAL Ottawa clubs trash god

apple picking same year in a row wit z <3 and hamza and fams lol

saw the kids and got to be stupid again loool

anyways came back to my actual life

like it just felt weird knowing that the place I had all my memories and experiences in like.. felt nothing

even the forest felt weird like I didn't need to be there anymore?

as much as tried to drown myself in obsession and my past and bad habits.. I couldn't?

im being forced to move forward and learned Sunday was the last experience it was just eye opening

after the emotional shit I sat down again and had a whole purging

I never felt that bad and horrible and drowned in obsession since raglan..

like.. deleted the hidden pictures... the feeling.. like I've done this before...

that was the final straw..

you think its over just because I am dead but its not over..the games just begun.

never again.

anyways I met Aisha!!! love her vibe with her heavy

introduceed me to the sugar shit YOOOO LMFAOOO

THEN WE STARTING PIMPIN AND MAKING EXTRA MONEY

NO MORE MONEY STRUGGLE

GOT FUCKED OVER HEART TURNED COLD NOW WE FOCUSING ON MONEY CAREER POWER PLAYING THESE HOES FOR THEY MONEY AND RECLAIMING MYSELF

weird ass fucking people but get the money and go

stack up crazy and saving up this past few months

and just chilling w friends and therapy sessions

scheming and planning for the future

therapy sessions

got close with Lisa

oh yeah BOLO!! UGH BEST GYM

ALSO OMG I FORGOT I SAW BROCKHAMPTON AGAIN!!! AND SOMEHOW GOT TO THE BARRIER AND LITERALLY HAD SO MUCH INTERACTION WITH KEVIN LIKE SINGING TOGETHER AND THEN HE CAME DOWN SAID I GOTCHU AND TOOK TWO PICS WITH ME FUCKGIERGEIUTHSEUH THAT WAS INSANEEE MY LIFE WILDDDD

iconic holiday party and New Years with again like random weird ppl and my girls exemplifying how wild and fresh the whole experience of this year was

at least I be waking up warm and clean in MY PLACEby myself with no bullshit

just like.. got a new place new job new city basically live the life I always wanted? reading movies? new friends no problems? wtf how my life change so quick

new interesting experiences

getting drunk high dancing at my place out in these streets just meeting bare people all these new people and experiences holy shit...

and like yeah im not where I want to be but this progress and process is FUN now

everything a strategy and a move and love staying busy

wish I had more free time tho I never feel rested my life fucking crazy LOOL

that weirdo bitch who thought he was dating me UGHHH BOTTOM OF THE BARRELL JUST FOR A CAR AND FOOD BITCHARE U CRAZY

power trip crazy im so sorry jfc

anyways block and move on

met Chris and we still talking for like 3 months in a row god... lol gunna see him Saturday idk was the HALE going on

im like surrounded by hoes???? and I don't want it GOD I JUST BEEN FOCUSING ON ME AND MONEYFUCK EVERYONE ELSE

idek what else maybe im missing shit but this whole year wild best year of MY LIFE though

idk what the fuck gunna happen in 2020 cuz my split lives and the chaos and playing hoes and always thinking about opportunity and abundance and money got my mind and moves all wrapped in strategy but we only ONNLY ONLYYY GOING UP from here no excuses lets fucking go I always say this but 2019 was fucking wild and you know what.. lets fucking go 2020 LETS FUCKING GO as long as I don't gain weight LMFAO lets fucking GO. money and power on my mind exclusively. gl imma see you in 2 years. focusing on bigger things but at least im OUT HERE and ESCAPED and we onLY ATTRACTING AND MANIFESTING ABUNDANCE

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