#shoutout to anyone who has been here since i was a troubled 15 year old. i made it. i’m doing alright.

[biblically-accurate-soup]

life is crazy like do y’all ever think about the numerous minuscule decisions that led you to where you are today and the people who you love. what do you mean i look forward to the end of the workday because i know i’ll see you at home. how did i get here

[all-the-kookies-fall]

A THEORY: Linear Timeline of reputation

This is going to be a very long read; but it may just include unlocking the 15 Taylor's from the LWYMMD MV so read on if you dare…

 (OK it totally includes the theory, please read and tell me what you think!)

An Introduction:

I've been a casual fan of Taylor Swift since she started. Loved all her radio singles, listened to her albums (at my leisure upon release), and admired her platform and brand image. I guess I became a huge fan after 1989, but around the release of reputation, I realized just how much this woman's music has been there throughout my life and decided to fully stan her. As I fell down the rabbit hole of  learning everything I could about TS as an artist, I became completely enamored with her wits & charms. However, the more I learned to love about her, the more I could feel just a slight inauthenticity; I was constantly thinking of the hypocrisy of how she "never names who her songs about" yet she created this scavenger hunt with her liner notes that seemed to point in an obvious direction of one of her "ex-boyfriends." It didn't align with how she presented herself in every other aspect. Then, I felldowntherabbithole for real and found all of the incredibly documented and organized realm of the Kaylor's, and everything was literally in screaming color.

reputation made even more sense with fresh Kaylor eyes and once I read this Taylor Swift quote: 

reputation, in my mind, is an album that is very linear in it’s timeline. Meaning that it kind of starts out where I was when I first started making the record. The album ends more where I am now in my life. So this is more towards the end of the album, it’s called ‘Call It What You Want.’

my mind became OBSESSED with cracking this code. I had combed through all the kaylor blogs and while I had read everything I could, I still couldn't place it within any timeline. Then, Delicate came out and the code started to crack; I could peek inside and make sense of something, but was still unsure what it was. I put together a loose concept which had some plot holes, but it was when I remembered to revisit the 15 Taylor theory that everything completely revealed itself.

  I would like to start with a disclaimer: I have never, ever actively participated more than lurking or even posted anything on Tumblr. I would like to fully acknowledge that there is a huge, fat chance none of this makes sense to anyone but me, but my husband was really getting fed up with me talking about it and I just needed to share. THANK YOUS to the Kaylor blogs I frequented with incredible analysis and POV of Tay in the media and her music-  @all-my-possessions​ @howyougetthenerd​  @jennyboom21 @karlitakloss​ @kaydar​ @kaylorrepdetective​ @larrienation​ @out-of-the-klosset​ @paradisekisses  @tallcurlygirl​ @taytaysbeard​ @that-curly-haired-lesbian @thoseflashinggreeneyes​ @whaler13bg​ to name a few. (Sorry, tumblr is not letting me tag a few of you.)

 A lot of the information I am providing is not new and connects the dots from the amazing posts from this community. I tried as best as I could to cite all relevant posts - you can definitely let me know if I've made any errors. Please feel free to edit//contribute//comment because I have a feeling that a more seasoned eye would be able to expound on so many more clues and easter eggs!

Let the Games Begin!

Overall Concept/Themes

There are truly some insightful analysis of the overarching themes and concepts of the album already. Secrecy, partners in crime, forbidden love… In general there's a complex theme of Duality to the album; conflicting feelings, Brand vs Self, bad vs good, truth vs reputation etc. I think it's most important to note is that any analysis that views these tracks differently than listed below, can still be correct. Our Queen is a lyrical master plus there's that added layer of intentional dualities in her story telling; there's always at least 3 different meanings to her songs and that's one of the reasons we admire her wordsmith ways.

 The Timeline!!!

 …Ready For It?  - So It Goes… 2012* - 2014

This has long been inferred in every side of the fandom to indicate this is Part 1 of the Story, implied by the ellipses as the beginning and end of the track names. All the timelines I've previously read started at either the introduction of  1989 or even later beginning with 2016/2017 events, but it didn't make sense applied to the album as a whole. Once Delicate MV came out, I began to notice that all of the nods to RED in all these MV's were not just for nostalgia. She is literally telling us that this part of the story was about the end of RED era leading into 1989 - not quite 1989 era just yet. ;)

*2012 is an estimate based on the beginning of the Delicate video; it's possible that TS & KK met before Swiftgron was officially over but who will ever know? Karlie's buzz cut was December 2011 (x). The first half of the album is difficult to theorize specific dates within this period because we really have no idea when KK & TS met.

LWYMMD - New Year's Day 2014 - 2017 (NYD)

I gotta tell you - immediately after reading this, go watch LWYMMD. It was (is?) literally hiding there in plain sight; it's a GENIUS video walking you through EXACTLY what she did (you could say from a satirical standpoint more how the media/GP thought she did) to prepare for this era! When she refers to the "Old Taylor," she's using the term in the exact way her fans have been using: to refer to Country Taylor. She is officially Pop; Look What We Made Her Do when RED, a pop-country album, "a patchwork of songs," didn't win the Grammy. She went full POP princess. This post in particular helped me remember that these songs are not fresh in regards to her life even though they are brand new to us. Part 2 of the story more clearly follows the events of the 1989 era through just before rep's release.

Track by Track // 15 Taylors

…Ready For It?  Intro

I believe this is an introduction of what's to come, an overview of the story. Yes, she's definitely asking herself if she's ready to come out of the closet (x/x), if Karlie is ready to glass closet (x), is her beard ready for the consequences(x), and most specifically, are we, her fans, the GP, are we ready for her to come out and live her truth unapologetically? It's her laying the groundwork to prepare for 1989; her literally coming up with the concept for the whole era which is why we see the references to her 1989 MV's in the glass room. This post  cites the connection to the Dykes on Bikes; are we ready to accept Taylor to not only come out, but be a strong voice and activist of the LGBTQ+ community?

End Game April 2013 - June 2014

I KNOW Taylor is singing to KK about them first meeting - and I KNOW we think they just met before VSFS 2013 (even though there are rumors that say they met sooner…) But, hear me out because this lines up way too easily with the information we get from the MV (x/x). Remind yourself… Who opened for Taylor's RED tour? That’s right, our favorite ginger. It's a nice additional nod with the callback of Everything Has Changed duet with Ed Sheeran. Miami (shoutout to my hometown even though I have no inkling to its significance) tour dates were 04/10/13, London was  02/01/14 (Did she really show us their first  NYE together?!), and Tokyo was 06/01/14.

Irrelevant now but important for later (LWYMMD): And I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put ‘em. This post highlights a cool interpretation of the line that applies to this whole post!

I’ve been doing some digging to try and somehow link Miami in this mix, and this is pure speculation but I feel like Future represents her bearding with Harry Styles. Karlie’s “buzz cut” was in December 2012, and shortly thereafter she was in Miami for a photo shoot. 1/4/12 marks the official break up of Haylor in the US Virgin Islands… it’s a stretch and I’m totally grasping at straws but they are geographically close and it’s all I got for now.

   "Me, I was a robber first time that (s)he saw me…"

I Did Something Bad early 2013

So, I have to admit… IDSB and DBM were the two songs I was having the most trouble placing within the linear timeline; my initial thought was this must have been a metaphor for her confessing her "sins" a.k.a. bearding, to Karlie when they first started dating. This was the song that clicked once I looked through the lenses of the 15 Taylors and reaffirmed my thoughts with the visuals of this Taylor on the cross in LWYMMD. In digging a little deeper, I found a Vanity Fair article - one of the only cover stories found online about TS during 2013. I'm not as confident about my perspective on the linear timeline with this track, however I feel like it's a good start especially considering the next holy church track.

In regards to the "light me up" lyric, and clear visual reference in the …RFI MV as well as the crucifixion of Taylor in LWYMMD, I thought this answer she gave the   73 Questions With Taylor Swift | Vogue video was also interesting to note. The question was what is the one thing she wishes she would have known at age 19 (8:03)?

"Hey, you're going to date just like a normal 20-something should be allowed to, but you're going to be a national lightning rod for slut-shaming."

I'll leave this quote from the April 2013 Vanity Fair interview right here:

"But nobody calls them the kinds of names that get thrown at Swift. “They’re ‘playboys,’ ” Swift says wryly. “They’re ‘having fun.’ ”

By the way, in the Vanity Fair article there's an "authorized source" giving insight to what "really happened" to Haylor aka probably lies.

 Every lie I tell them, they tell me three

Don't Blame Me early - mid 2014

I can really only hypothesize through the lyrics and the Taylor line up that this may be a reference to how the RED "media" circus (as quoted from the VF article cited above) literally made her do crazy things - maybe how her past experiences had caused her to react a certain way in an undefined relationship, maybe how the media circus in general had her guarding her heart, and of course the religious context of the song leads me to believe of course it is connected in that aspect to the confessing of her actions in the previous track. Big Sur trip also falls within this timeline. (x/x/x) 

I once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy…

Delicate 2013 - 2014

I think this one has so many beautiful analysis with the music video that syncs perfectly with this time line with no need for additional explanation, and I think it's especially apparent why this Taylor represents TraKK 5 in the line up. (x/x)

It's interesting that Fearless Taylor and Red Taylor were the ones actually fighting on Taylor Mountain in the LWYMMD MV; this may be a reference to her insecurities and headspace during the RED media circus//break up anxieties fighting contrasting to her want to just dance in her best dress Fearless with KK with no inhibitions.

Dancing in my best dress, fearless 

LWYMMD End of 2014

Has anyone noticed the crows in the beginning? It literally hit me as I was finishing this post - a group of crows is called a murder.

We see her Driving a new Maserati (well, car with significant meaning) down a dead end street and then crashes into the pole. (x) She literally killed the "Old Taylor" to get the Grammy - as well as set up clever disguises as red herrings* so that we missed the most obvious clue that this is about the release of 1989. I think even cleverer, how she walks away from the crash unscathed at the end of the MV to imply she rose up from the dead, she does it all the time (with each era release). (x/x/x/x)

*Red herring: something, especially a clue, that is or is intended to be misleading or distracting. In reference to the post regarding hatchets in End Game, she's definitely sending us on the hunt… remember that post above I asked you to note?

 Then of course another hint to the timeline is in the lyrics and MV (look at the date of the tweet...)

I've got a list of names and yours is in red underlined 

So It Goes… October/November 2014

This was definitely the most challenging to figure out, but there's definitely two clear ideas that are represented here - the linear timeline alludes to the HOT KINKY SEX our girls probably had after VSFS '14 (x/x/x) and the death of her 'innocence.' Coincidentally, I had read Slaughterhouse Five for the first time earlier last year and lurking around the Reddit TS  community where they spent so much time trying to figure out how they could circle this back to Vonnegut. Unluckily for them, it is the most heteronormative//homophobic community where even Kaylor posts are censored/deleted/ridiculed etc so they weren't ever going to get it. This song represents a toxic relationship with CH in their eyes, and I can see that perspective… another Salute to the American Queen of Wordplay.

 Anyway, here is a quote from a NY Times (https://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/18/books/review/and-so-it-goes.html)

That is, the constant repetition of “So it goes” makes readers ask themselves about the meaning of death (or its lack of meaning) and the incalculable human costs of war.

The 2009 VMA's Taylor is the epitome of everything her art, brand and music spoke to prior to 1989; and with the Pop princess she was no longer the relatable girl next door. She had gone full big-city, celebrity friends, glitz and glam - feeling so Gatsby for that whole year. With 1989, represented by the LWYMMD music video, that image was shattered, it was the death of her reputation but the true beginning of laying the groundwork for her and KK's future and she truly felt alive. 

Not to mention a song about kinky sex is a huge step away from that image.

So it goes...

And so it goes, now Part 1 of our story is done.

Gorgeous Met Ball 2015

Part 2 moves into the 1989 era starting with the Met Gala. (x/x) I read a great analysis using the lyrics to prove why this song is not about someone you just met because of the intense conflicting feelings. (I have scoured Tumblr to find it and link it but can't rediscover it… sorry I explained I've been a noob and a lurker and I never liked or reblogged anything, I'll update with a link if I ever find it again!) That made me reevaluate my original thoughts of this track being Enchanted 2.0 and representing her meeting Karlie for the first time. This was the first public event Kaylor attended together; it must have been strong conflicting feelings of joy & giddiness of the relationship quickly overtaken by nerves, fear, and anger that she would be found out and/or couldn’t show any outward PDA towards KK at the event. I would imagine there was a lot of drinking that night to cope, thus the “drunk” perspective.

 PS she probably didn’t go home alone that night (DING)😉

 'Cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts

Getaway Car May - August 2016

There are great analysis looking at this song from two main POV's- 1. the bearding CH-TH circus(x/x) and 2. a reflection of Swiftgron in hindsight (x). For the sake of the timeline/15 taylor line up, it was too coincidental that this was the Taylor snapping at the beards in I <3 TS shirts and  from that perspective, fits perfectly into the linear timeline. It is suspect  that TS went against her management in anger of how the "break up" with CH unfolded, and so it would make sense to be a little apologetic towards TH -- the one beard aftermath she may have regretted but that is just pure speculation.

And a circus ain't a love story, and now we're both sorry

  *I JUST NOTICED! She POPS HER LEG for the 7th boyfriend in line - AKA CH. She is SO EXTRA!

King of My Heart August 2016

The below quote and Taylor line up don't need further explanation. 

"I think it’s very interesting when people talk about their love stories. Like when you guys blog about, “my and my husband, me and my boyfriend” or just anyone talking about how they fell in love. 

There seem to be these very definitive phases. It doesn’t matter how long that phase lasts. There seems to be a moment where you know it transitioned to the next phase. People will be like, “Oh my God, we were friends for six years and there was this moment and we knew and then it changed. Then there was a moment and it got even deeper. Then there was a moment and we knew” or like “I saw this person and there was this moment and we knew.” Everyone has a different story with how they connect with someone else and what i find interesting is the moment where it switches. You always hope that switch is going to move forward and not backwards because it can happen either way. I always wanted to structure the song where each individual section of the song sounded like a move forward in the relationship but still being listenable. So I wanted the verse to seem like it’s own phase of a relationship, the pre-chorus to sound like it’s own phase of a relationship, and the chorus to sound like it’s own phase of a relationship. I wanted them to all have their own identity but seem like they were getting deeper and more fast paced as the song went on. So finally I was able to achieve that in a song.”

 Here’s a couple of my favorite analysis regarding this song. (x/x)

 Up on the roof with a school girl crush

 Dancing With Our Hands Tied Mid - End 2016

This analysis  really explains the lyrics and matches the allusion of the Zombie Taylor to make it seem like it is a hindsight song about Swiftgron; however Out of the Woods is the last MV of 1989 era released the end of 2015 (aside from New Romantics your video) and this can perhaps be expressing the death of Taylor’s 1989 reputation after the slew of public feuds. It can also be interpreted as a hindsight song in regards to Kissgate in 12/2014(x/x); how she had found herself coming into 1989, but was a zombie version of that because she had to beard with CH and TH and it perhaps made her feel dead inside. Maybe she’s implying that she would have just taken the fall from grace then put herself through another (particularly long and grueling) fake relationship.

I had a bad feeling

Dress October 2016

Not only is Dress pretty frequently analysed, it's also the most obvious and blatant within the theory.  I thought it was very cute that this was represented by the Ballerina in the line up as a not so subtle nod to Karlie. October 2016 was the infamous Golden Tattoos at Drake's birthday party. (x/x/x)  

Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo. 

Sorry I couldn’t help myself with this gif :P

TIWWCHNT November 2016

Originally, I thought this was the easiest one- yes, the Snake Queen is sipping and serving tea on her infamous feuds however it just didn't fit in the more transparent timeline of the second half. There's been a few posts that hint the track may be a slight diss to her fans. Once it hit me she was alluding to herself as our (the fans) American *dream* Queen, I realized: this song is not a slight diss - it is harshly directed to us, all of us. Hear me out: Just like KOMH is about a love that reflects back on different periods in life, this track also calls to a couple different conflicts with the relationship of TS and her fans. She's never enough for either aspect of the fandom.

I thought it was curious that she would have the "ET TU BRUTE" (x)  as a reference to Kanye because let's be honest, she probably never trusted him after 2009 and rightfully so. "Et tu, Brute?" is a Shakespeare reference and a phrase that is now used to describe a friend stabbing you in the back. This would be more applicable to us, her fans. V1:

It was so nice throwing big parties

Jumping to the pool from the balcony

Everyone swimming in a champagne sea

And there are no rules when you show up here

Bass beat rattling the chandelier

Feeling so Gatsby for that whole year

This easily refers to 12/2014 - Kissgate. Feeling so gatsby for that whole year; throwing big parties. She had to close the gate before she was outed prematurely by the fans watching her during the concert.  We were the last ones she ever expected having to protect herself from; she had been so open, glass-closeting, but the fans took it too far and crossed the line of her privacy. She was surprised by the network that had expanded to track her every move. A couple years pass, V2:

It was so nice being friends again

There I was giving you a second chance

Think back to the election of 2016; Taylor being back in the media and more open again with her life wasn't enough at this point. America had reached a boiling point and everyone had to pick a side; even Taylor's most dedicated fans were constantly expressing their disappointment at her so she changed her priorities and went into hiding.

 As @paradisekisses once posted, “Not everything is about Kanye.”

 Salute to you, our American Queen of Red Herrings

 Because you break them, I had to take them away.

Call It What You Want End of 2016

The lyrics all harken to 1989 (x) and this is when her reputation has never been worse (again), but she’s stronger this time and it didn’t break her as much as post RED era. Not to mention, she’s madly in love and found her end game so nothing else really matters to her; her priorities have been shifted and she knows what truly matters in her life. 

Call her what you want, she is Karlie's Partner in Crime.  it's an obvious call to the gold cage, hostage to my feelings; she will jail herself once more with this ((hopefully)) last beard and that will be the official death of  (2.0? 6.0?) Old Taylor. The best part is the BTS video showing how much fun she was actually having in the gold cage. There are beautiful analysis of this song (x/x/x/x/x)   , and to me it's just the most real/pure love song. Love isn't just about all the good times, it's how your partner and you navigate the bad. Sometimes the worst moments in life show us just how strong our relationships are and bring us closer together.

Karlie what you want, call her what you want to (I can't unhear this in the background now <3)

New Year's Day January 1, 2017

This Taylor is hidden from us because she will probably never be as open with the GP, media, or her fans ever again. Who knows what to come in the future, but she actively tells us "don't read the last page" and to "hold onto the memories." Ugh, this is making me tear up --  I just officially joined the fandom!! Don’t tell me this is it already... (x/x/x) 

This post highlighted the importance of the sunshine necklace with Taylor's obvious sarcasm in the BTS in saying “It’s really important to wear subtle jewelry in music videos, I’ve learned.” (If anyone can forward the gif I’d love to add it to the post :))

Sidenote: technically, isn't this another closet she's in during the rep era?

Wear you like a necklace…

And I will hold on to you...

I had so much fun putting this together and being inspired by all the amazing perspectives the Kaylor fandom has been churning! Hope you like it :) Let me know your thoughts!

[katalyna-rose]

Sorrow’s Joy

So this ficlet is sort of a quasi-sequel of a sort to Vhenan, but it also sort of isn't because it has a very narrow focus. I don't really think I'm revealing any huge spoilers by posting it before Vhenan has been finished, I mean you all knew I'd take the Veil down, right? I'm such a sucker for happy endings...

I've had this written for months, since Fenora decided to pop into my head. It's undergone lots of edits and I sometimes pull it up to tweak it a little more. Honestly, I just want it posted. I just want it done! It's been sitting and staring at me accusingly for ages and it needs to shut up. It’ll probably end up being twenty-four super short chapters, plus the minuscule epilogue. The whole thing is only about 12,000 words or so. So here it is! Enjoy it, or don't. Whichever.

Abelas/Original Character

Explicit Sexual Content (not this chapter), First Time, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Smut

To watch a child grow up is a beautiful experience, but for an immortal it happens often. Abelas has seen many infants become children become adults, but none quite like her. He'd never really expected to care for anyone as much as he cares for her, but how can he betray her by allowing himself to love her?

Since the removal of the Veil from Thedas, life for those elves who regained their immortality has slowed, time left now for all the things they wish to try. But it is still faster than it was when that immortality was all the knew, as though the world was holding its breath expecting this gift to vanish. For Fenora, this new world is all she knows, and the rules are unclear. The man she's grown up beside has never aged a day in all her life, but will he always see her as a child no matter how old she gets? The world is full of magic and miracles, but the happiness she wants might be lost to her.

Chapters: 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11 12  13  14  15  16   17  18  19  20  21  22  23  24  Epilogue

EDIT: A great big belated shoutout to @eshidu for some truly amazing beta work like months ago to get this story really hammered out. Thank you, eshi!!

The first time he met her she had no hair. She was also covered in blood and screaming, an unfortunate side effect of the birth trauma that he really could have done without.

He wasn’t supposed to be there, but when his queen went into labor suddenly in the middle of a meeting he felt he had no right or power to refuse her when she asked him to stay with her. He hadn’t known until that moment that she was fond of him and wasn’t entirely certain what to make of it.

“Abelas, where is he?” she asked desperately as she caught her breath between waves of pain. His hand was numb from the strength of her grip but that pain couldn’t block out the fury he felt at her husband, his king, who had allowed himself to be called away on other business when she had been due to give birth at any moment. No matter what urgent business had come up, he should not have left her side.

“He will be here soon,” he told his queen as her face scrunched and the pain built again, healers running around the room frantically and peeking between her legs every few moments. It felt horribly undignified, but what he knew about childbirth could fit into a thimble. “He has been summoned.” She nodded, but any reply she could have made was lost in the contraction and her subsequent screams of pain.

Scant minutes later, as if he had been conjured by his wife’s words, Solas burst into the room, running at top speed and shedding messengers and advisors in his wake. He waved a hand and the door shut behind him, slamming in the faces of several of his people.

“Vhenan!” he cried, grabbing her free hand and kissing her whitened knuckles as she immediately attempted to crush his bones. He reached out to her, his hand glowing with magic, but the lead healer snatched his wrist.

“No magic!” the woman barked, glaring. “Everything that can be done has been done, but she needs to feel this. She must know when to push and be able to feel her child leaving her body.” Abelas was amused that the healer would bark orders at her king, but in this room she was the law, not the man who wore the crown or the woman in bed panting and heaving her breaths. Abelas watched Solas struggle to reign in his magic and his desire to take away his wife’s pain and tried to extract himself from her grip. She would not release him even as the contraction ebbed, her grip too strong for him to break it without hurting her.

“Solas, you made it,” she panted gratefully, gazing at the man she’d married with open love and adoration and a level of vulnerability she would never have shown in front of others under any other circumstances. It made her look remarkably young, much closer to her thirty-seven years than she normally seemed. Abelas found it both endearing and slightly annoying; he wasn’t supposed to find his queen adorable.

“Of course, ma sa’lath,” he breathed. He didn’t seem to have noticed that Abelas was in the room. “I made a vow to you and I would not break it. I will be here for this, for every moment of it.”

“You already missed a few moments,” he murmured because he couldn’t help it. The queen still would not release his hand and it was troubling him.

“Why are you here?” Solas asked him, scowling, only just noticing his presence.

“I asked him to be,” Lyna told him, her eyelids drooping as the pain receded far enough for her to be fatigued. “You weren’t here and I needed someone.”

“I am here now,” Solas told her, lifting her hand to his lips again. Lyna turned her eyes to Abelas.

“I know I have no right to ask this of you, but will you stay?” she asked softly, an apology in her eyes that he didn’t know how to rebuff. He realized in that moment that he felt a certain kinship for the woman who had despoiled the Well of Sorrows in her race against an old evil. It was an odd feeling and an odd time for such a realization.

“If you ask it of me, I will stay,” he told her, and settled beside her again, his hand starting to turn blue as her pain crested once more.

The child, when it was born at last several hours later, was squishy-looking with strangely hued skin, covered in gore. Lyna started sobbing with relief when the child was finally free of her body and Abelas wondered why women put their bodies through such agony, especially more than once. The child was briefly taken away and wiped down swiftly. Then it was wrapped in a blanket and deposited in Lyna’s arms.

“It is a girl,” the healer said with a grin. Lyna smiled down at the tiny bundle in her arms, tears beginning to leak from her eyes. Solas took a deep, shaking breath as he ran one finger lightly down his daughter’s cheek.

“Fenora,” Lyna said suddenly, her voice hoarse from screaming. Solas grinned and kissed her sweaty forehead.

“Fenora,” he confirmed, a depth of love and reverence in his voice that Abelas had never heard before and would never hear again.

Her name was Fenora, and he was already lost for the tiny, wailing bundle of blankets and flesh. He just didn’t know it yet.

Read on AO3!

[call-of-quileutes-blog]

When it Happened.

Here’s my second request! I hope enjoy

(also shoutout to @masochisticlion for helpin ya gurl edit and coming up with the title im useless w/o you abigail)

Request: EmbryxReader where the reader is his imprint but she already has a boyfriend

The sound of the floor creaking under my heavy steps made an echo through the hall as I attempted to sneak my way through the dark house; my head snapping back towards my mother’s bedroom in fear that she had heard me. I held my breath, waiting for her to emerge from her room, pissed off at how late I was coming home; again. I stood there frozen for what felt like hours, but was really less than thirty seconds, before releasing my breath and tip-toeing to my room. I fell face first onto the bed I outgrew last fall after the transformation, turning to my alarm clock and seeing it was just past three in the morning. I groaned and planted my face into the pillow, falling asleep instantly.

The blaring of my alarm jolted me from another night of dreamless sleep. I reached up to hit the snooze button, still too tired from last nights patrol to get out of bed just yet. I rolled onto my side, cocooning into the comforter, considering just skipping school for the day. It was Friday, anyways, and what's one day? My eyelids began to droop and I was almost back asleep when my door slammed open and I sat up in shock.

My mother stood in the doorway, looking like she was about to erupt. She was already dressed and ready for work; her arms were crossed and her jaw was clenched. Her charcoal eyes burned into my own and she didn't even have to say anything as I made my way out of bed and to the bathroom to shower and get ready. She waited outside the door as I got dressed and stood by the table as I ate some dry wheat toast and old coffee. She still didn't say anything as she pointed to her old, beat up hatchback in the driveway and grabbed my book bag, making her way out the door. I followed her in silence, too scared to say anything.

She didn't say anything the entire drive, up until we were stuck in the drop off line, where she tore me a new one about staying out late with my friends and getting into trouble.

“…just don't make the same mistakes I did, that's all—“

“Whoa, wait,” I interrupted her, confused and honestly, a little pissed. “What mistakes?”

I didn’t mean for it to come out as harshly as it did when I saw her flinch slightly out of the corner of my eye. Her cheeks flared up and she opened her mouth to speak again, but then closed it, then opened, then closed; like a fish. I was growing impatient waiting for her answer while she fished around her brain to find a way out of her little flub. Before she could respond though, we had pulled up to the front of the line, and she audibly sighed in relief.

“Have a good day at school, Em.” She leaned over and kissed the side of my head before ruffling my hair and grabbing my book bag out of the back seat.

I forced a smile. “You too, mom. Love ya.”

I got out of the cramped car and stretched my legs, making my way through the sea of copper skin and jet black hair. I could feel their stares as I made my way to the old building and it made my cheeks heat up. It had been more than a year since my growth spurt but they still looked at me like I had grown a second head. Not to mention that rumors of the pack taking steroids still plagued the reservation, much to Sam’s annoyance.

Muscle memory took over as I opened my locker and tossed my back pack in, grabbing a notebook and a pencil, before slamming it shut. I turned around to see Jake and Quil barreling down the hall towards me while the other teenagers scrambled to get out of their way. I chuckled at what the other kids probably thought we did; starting fights, drug use, fu—

“Em, did you do the algebra homework last night?” Quil asked as I fell in step beside him as we made our way to home room.

My face paled a I turned to face him. “We had algebra homework?”

His mouth fell open and he started at me blankly. “Dude.”

My head fell back and I groaned. “What the fuuuuuuck. I was out patrolling ‘til three this morning.”

Jake slapped my back as some sort of sympathetic gesture as we entered the classroom. Our classmates idle chitchat growing quieter as we sat down. The irony in their fear of us was almost hilarious since we were the ones who protected them from constant threat of leeches. I'd look at them and remember what my life was like as a normal teenager who wasn't always grounded for sneaking out late and coming home in the early hours of the morning. My heart ached thinking about a normal life, but knowing that they could all live happy human lives because I helped keep the vampires at bay lifted my spirits.

“So, can I copy that homework or what?” I asked, eyeing Quil from across the table.

He rolled his eyes and fished it from his folder, sliding it across the table to me.

My body felt heavy as I rolled out of bed. I looked at the clock on my bedside table and it read1:34PM. I stretched, feeling stiff and groggy. I had to patrol late again last night because Jared had to resolve a fight he and Kim had gotten into after school yesterday. I rolled my eyes thinking about it, but still felt a twinge of jealousy. Jared had imprinted almost immediately after returning to school after his phase. Paul had imprinted on Rachel. Sam and Emily. Quil and Claire. Jake and Renesmee. I fell back on my pillow and tried to force the feelings away. I was still young and had plenty of time to get my life together before I found my soulmate.

I sighed and pushed the covers off the bed, making my way to the kitchen. I was starving after having to patrol two doubles in a row. I searched the cabinets and fridge but all I could salvage was a stale bagel and a bowl of Raisin Bran. My mom had left last night after dinner and still wasn't home yet. My mind wandered as to where she went but I pushed the thoughts away. I really didn’t want to know. All that mattered was that she was safe wherever she went.

I put on a pair of cutoffs and an old tee shirt and made my way to Emily and Sam’s. They would definitely have some food. It was brisk out, but my unnaturally high body temperature shielded me from the early winter conditions. Luckily, it was just overcast and it hadn't begun to rain yet. Not like that would affect me either; my wolf form kept me from getting sick ad helped me to heal quickly. Basically, I was virtually indestructible.

The small cottage was in my sights and I could already smell an assortment of different baked goods coming from inside. My mouth watered and I broke into a jog.

I burst through the door and ran to the kitchen. Half the pack was already there, devouring the freshly made pastries. I fought Collin over a chocolate chip muffin, pushing him to the ground in triumph, and heading to the couch. I plopped down, kicking my feet up onto the abused coffee table, pulling the paper off the bottom and eating it in two bites. I was still hungry, but didn’t want to try my luck against anyone else. There'd be more food later, anyways.

Quil sat down next to me, handing me another muffin. I nodded at him in thanks as he shoved a whole donut in his mouth, getting crumbs all over himself and the couch. I rolled my eyes at his habits and bit into the pastry. I instantly spit it out and a coughed, throwing the sad excuse for a baked good at Quil.

“Dude, poppy seed? Seriously?!” He snickered as I pushed myself from the couch and walked to the kitchen to get some water to wash the taste from my mouth.

Emily caught my arm as I was reaching for a glass and I turned and gave her a questioning look.

She smiled up at me and I couldn’t help but smile back. “Embry, do you think you could run to the store for me?”

I groaned as I filled the cup with water from the tap. “Like, literally run there or—“

She shook her head and held up a pair of keys. “No, no, no! You can take Sam’s truck!”

I pondered her request; I didn’t really feel up to it after having to pull two doubles in a row, but on the other hand, Emily did take care of us without complaining.

“I'll make a batch of chocolate chip muffins just for you!”

And there was the leverage. I sighed, grabbing the keys from her tiny hand, and held out my palm for her list. She placed the folded paper gingerly in my hand. I opened it up and it fell almost a foot down. My eyes bugged and I looked from the list to her, smiling sweetly as she dug through her purse for some cash.

“Thank you so much, Embry! It really does mean a lot to me.” She cried, giving me a side hug.

My shoulders slumped as I made my way through the house and out to Sam’s old F150. The engine roared to life and I made my way to the closest grocery store which was almost 20 miles away. I drummed my fingers against the wheel to the alternative rock song that played on the radio; musing about how I would've already been there if I had just ran in the first place.

As I came up on the Forks/La Push border, I noticed a car with its hazards flashing. It had begun to drizzle at some point on the 15 minute drive, and there was a person sitting on the bumper getting drenched. My heart strings began tugging in sympathy and I groaned as I pulled over. I threw on the emergencies and hopped out and made my way over the sedan.

“Hey,” I called out to the person sitting in the rain, and their head snapped up. We made eye contact, and that's when I felt the whammy. My head was spinning, but also could only focus on one thing; them. My mouth went dry and my heart fell to the ground as I realized what was happening. “Shit.”

“What?!” They yelled to me over the downpour that had started sometime in the five seconds since I had gotten out of the truck.

“Uh, um, I saw your hazards and was seeing if you needed any help.” I told them as I walked closer. My body craved to be as close as humanly possible, but my mind knew that I would come off as a psychopath, so I tried—seriously, tried—to keep my distance. They were shivering from the rain and I wanted to wrap them in a blanket like a burrito and carry them home and just keep them close and warm and protected. I ran my hands over my face in frustration at this situation, as the rain began to somehow come down even harder.

“Oh.” They shifted awkwardly on the bumper, looking away to the empty road. “Er, uh, well, my boyfriend is actually on his way to pick me up with a tow, so…”

I felt my face fall and tried to recover. Boyfriend. They had a boyfriend. Of course they did. I tried to thinking logically. I'm supposed to be whatever my imprint needs. Whether it be a friend, a lover, or a protecter. And they obviously needed a protector right now.

“Well, I'll wait with you until he gets here, if you want. It's pretty dangerous out here.” I tried to comply with the situation at hand, even though I could feel my heart breaking with every uncomfortable shift they made. “I could even take a look at your car if you want. I know a thing or two.”

They glanced around uncomfortably and sighed. “I mean, I guess. You're not, like, a murderer, right?”

I snorted. “Definitely not. So what's wrong with it?”

“It just…won't start?” It came out as a question and I couldn’t help but laugh again.

“Lemme take a look.” I said walking closer and they hopped off the bumper and opened the door.

They put the key in the ignition an tried to turn it, but all that came out was a loud gurgle. I asked them to pop the hood, and they did so. I took a closer look and nodded to myself.

I shut the hood and turned to see them nervously biting their nail. The rain had lightened up a little bit and I could see their hair sticking to their face, their eyebrows knitted together, and staring of into the distance deep in thought. I smiled to myself, wondering what they were thinking. What did they think of me? Did they like me?

Oh. Boyfriend. Right.

I attempted to push the imprint from my mind. “So, it looks like its just your battery. If you want, your boyfriend can bring it by my place and I can take a better look and fix it for the cheap. A mechanic will milk you for all you have, when it's really a cheap, easy fix.”

They turned to me, confusion painted over their features. I searched their eyes for something—anything—but I couldn’t tell what they were thinking. They just stared at me blankly. I dug my toe into the ground waiting for some kind of response, but they just stayed silent; and the silence was heavy.

They cleared their throat. “He has a guy, but thanks, uh…”

“Embry.” I smiled even though I felt like I was spiraling into the seventh sector of Hell.

“Thanks, Embry.” They held out their hand, and my own engulfed it. Touching them felt like a million volts of electricity flowing through my veins, and I never wanted to let go.

As soon as it had happened, they let go. “I’m Y/N, by the way—oh. Here he comes now. Better late than never, I guess.” They chuckled lightly under their breath as they stepped away from me and waved down a pair of headlights.

The tow truck pulled up and I got back in Sam’s truck. I sat there for a minute while they loaded the car onto the trailer. I felt like a million bees had made a home in my chest as I watched them pull off their soaked parka and exchange it for a dry one their boyfriend had brought. I then felt the bees die inside me as I saw him take their face in his hands and give them a gentle kiss on their forehead. The smile that illuminated from them made my heart somehow soar and deflate at the same time.

They began to climb in the truck, but turned back to give me one last look as I sat in the cab. They waved and gave me a small smile, and my heart burst. I felt a wide range of emotions as the tow pulled away and I made my way back onto the road; the most prominent was the gaping hole of incompleteness I felt in my chest.