#shout out to our artificer! lol

[bumblingdragon]

Sooo~

Some stuff happened in our dnd game this weekend... A lot of things :3ccc

[bluejaytaco]

More DND with Jay

So, our DND campaign has resumed once again, this time with many new things. The DM made an announcement that, very soon, the party will be split again. Possibly permanently. It’ll give us all more screen time rather for our constant clamoring for it (feel like Art’s pretty bad about that...) And it’ll mean battles will become more of a thing that happens. (making encounters for such a big party had been pretty hard. They tend to be longer than necessary.)

I honestly am looking forward to this change.

The session was more about getting us from one point to another. Our goal became finding our way to the small city where Red and Reita were because, as it turns out, that’s where General Batshit (her name is Greta) took Vincent. There was a couple of moments with pissed off Hennessy, a moment where Art tried to stop him from getting himself killed (To which Koejin just said “Art, let him get himself killed....” I love Koejin so much; she’s such a bitch lol.) 

He did calm himself down for a bit, but not before going into an irrational rant about finding an artificer who stole Vincent’s inventions. Once again, Art was forced to be the voice of reason to tell Hennessy why that was a waste of time.

He also had General Green being his back up for that. Considering he’s a lich that knows everything, I feel confident it was the right move. (Also, Green has a history of not trusting Art so it was nice to hear him agreeing with him for once.)

Something else that was kinda retconed; Because she wasn’t there for the explanation, Theodora didn’t learn about the god war until Art caught Green up to speed on it. After seeing her god killed in front of her, Theodora’s mind is completely blown. Like in the catatonic way.

So, Art suggested finding that kid Vance we had saved from the jail because, apparently, he knows a way across the desert. We go to the slums to find him. And here’s a quick rundown of that!

-Alabaster nearly walks down a dark alley with a stranger after asking him for a little boy (Art stops him.)

-Art nearly gets shot with an arrow after trying to talk to some squatters. Alabaster is then invited in only to nearly get himself killed. (Arrows fly out after him which Koejin then picks up for herself.)

-Wreybar tries to stop a gang from beating up a woman (Art and Koejin attempt to keep her from killing someone.)

-Hennessy straight up kills a guy. The rest of the gang runs off in terror.

-Alabaster brings that man back to life and is overjoyed by that. (Koejin’s idea. Her reasoning was because it would make us the most terrifying people in the area if we killed a guy and brought him back.)

All this time, Theodora continues on her ongoing existential crisis. When Koejin goes to snap her out of it, her eyes start to glow and the DM and her player go into a separate chat. I have no fucking clue what was happening there.

Vance then makes his reappearance and is still just... the coolest. The kid just doesn’t give a shit.

Koejin and Vance ended up in negotiations about getting us across the desert, which we did eventually win (for 50 gold that we’ll be paying Koejin back. Maybe.) 

We head across the desert in the middle of a sandstorm with the intent instructions to follow in Vance’s exact footsteps. Koejin’s the last one to go and immediately messes up, which Wreybar saw.

Wreybar shouts up to the rest of us. Art is the next in line and he heard her shouting.

He passes on the message to Alabaster, suggesting they start over because they just started and they can’t afford to lose Koejin.

Alabaster shouts up to Theodora. Theodora doesn’t here him. They have a back and forth, basically screaming “WHAT?!” at one another.

The sandstorm stops. We’ve alerted Shmoogy to our presence.

Cue a quick fight with the giant minotaur and Task Master, who appears because Koejin told a lie at some point. 

Hennessy, knowing Task Master is Chaotic Evil, uses an ability he’s actually used on Ticket Master before. (The power was actually indirectly supplied by Ticket Master when Hennessy talked to his god.) Right as Koejin is staring him down and saying “look, I really don’t want to see you right now,” Task Master got wrecked.

After she said it, a fissure opened up and swallowed Task Master while he was screaming in agony. The power reflected off of Task Master and hit Shmoogy who, at the time, was holding a glowing Theodora. (she went all crazy god-like again.)

Koejin immediately assumed she had powers as we ran for it (The rest of the game was her telling poeple she didn’t want to see them lol.) Shmoogy gave up the chase pretty quickly. Vance immediately flipped out about the fact that we were dealing with gods and uped his price. Then he freaked out again when we got closer to the city. 

His cannibal mother was outside of it. And she was laying on Reita’s cloak.

(For some context: when he was telling us why we shouldn’t want to go to the city, he brought up cannibals. Both Koejin and Art rolled high enough to were both of them were completely unimpressed by his lie. Turns out, he wasn’t that much of a liar.)

The moment we get completely across, Vance demands the money and runs away. Apparently his mother ate his father so... I don’t blame him for not wanting to stick around.

Meanwhile, Art immediately walks up to the woman to demand where she got the cloak. She jumped up and notched an arrow. Then pointed it in a completely different direction.

Art lowered it and nearly got stabbed for it. But, being that he was dealing with a blind woman (and he’s a slippery tiefling) he had no problem avoiding the stabbing and getting the dagger from her. 

When he asked where she got it, she just said it was laying there when she got there. She was then tricked by Hennessy to get out of the way a bit and Art grabbed the cloak before heading into the city.

(Yep, Art robbed a blind woman.... He’s not exactly a good role model. Theodora’s player shared his notes and said he wrote “we robbed her blind lol.”)

We get into the city where everyone immediately scatters. But not because of us.

Greta walks out with Vincent in her grip. At her side is Red, holding Reita on a leash.

Red looked at us and hands the leash to Greta. She then says “There you guys are! You’ve kept me waiting!” The DM then describes that her smile goes impossibly wide as scales and wings start to sprout from her form. She takes on her full dragon form. And next session... we’ll be rolling for initiative.

(We all had to level up for this too. But the DM says this high level is temporary... I’m a little worried....)

[princecharmingtobe]

Oh man, I realized I don’t think I shared the ridiculous shenanigans that happened in this weekend’s D&D game

Somewhat NSFW talk and brief mention of drug use below

So. For those who haven’t been keeping up, I’m playing in a game where we are a special unit in a war. The party was my human artificer, Jack, a wood elf rogue, Rowen, and a half-orc barbarian, Grarg. However recently Grarg’s player decided he didn’t like playing Grarg and wanted to switch characters. Enter Terra, a human monk with purple hair (dyed with berries, this will be important later).

So Terra’s introduction to the party is kind of funny, because she wasn’t invited to join the party. Hell, she didn’t even ask. She just kind of showed up and made herself at home.  Now, Terra’s character motivation is that she is a bookworm, and noticed that in the books about war, they tended to be heavily biased toward the victor. So she joined this war because she wants to write her own book, as accurate as possible and totally unbiased. This means that she is constantly taking notes. About everything. And everyone. 

In their first official interaction (the morning after Terra joined us), Terra tried to flirt with Jack to see how he would react. Jack hadn’t had his coffee yet so he just kind of brushed her off and went back to breakfast. She was not subtle about immediately writing about it in her notes, so Jack caught on.  The night before she had overheard Jack asking to sleep in Rowen’s room (Both are paranoid about assassins, so since Rowen does his elf trance in a dark corner instead of the bed, Jack sleeps on the bed, acting as a decoy while Rowen acts as sort of a guard dog), so that combined with the breakfast interaction resulted in her notes on him reading “Not easily swayed by feminine wiles, probably likes men.”

Jack doesn’t actually care what people think of him or his sexuality (he’s aroace but not repulsed and uses sex as a means to an end), but he’s not impressed with her just showing up, making herself at home and taking notes on him. So he decided to mess with her. When the party found a tavern to stay at for the evening Jack picked out a conventionally attractive woman to flirt with, intending to screw with Terra’s already inaccurate data. He didn’t really expect to get anywhere, but due to a roll by the DM it was determined that this lady was Down to Fuck, and she began leading Jack to her room. Now, Jack wasn’t too concerned just yet. He figured once the door was closed he could explain the situation and hopefully the woman would play along. Buuuut then Terra decided to get involved.

Terra came over pretending to be Jack’s girlfriend, with the intention of cockblocking him, however another roll by the DM had the NPC mistake them for a couple looking for a threesome. Which she was down for. And which Terra was also down for. And Jack was just screaming internally at this point. However, he is a stubborn idiot, and felt like if he backed out now it would mean Terra “won”. Sooooo...

They fucked. Within a day of meeting each other Jack and Terra (and some nameless NPC) had a threesome. To quote the DM: “I knew you guys would fuck around this session but I didn’t know you guys would FUCK AROUND"

And all while this was happening Rowen had gone off to stock up on poisons, and apparently his poison dealer is also a drug dealer, and Rowen decided to try out some “magic cocaine”. He can cast faerie fire now! 

So after their little romp Jack went outside to smoke. I should note that Terra tried to “see how much Jack could take before going catatonic”, but he rolled a high con save and she rolled low, so he was largely unbothered and she was a mess lol.  While he was smoking Rowen came back and they had a chat. Jack: Get what you need? Rowen: A little more than I bargained for actually. Jack: *sighs* I can relate. Rowen: How so? Jack: I don’t wanna talk about it.

Finding that suspicious, Rowen looked him over for anything amiss and with a high roll noticed he looked more disheveled than usual, in a manner indicative of Having Fucked Recently. He made a comment about Jack being popular that evening, only for Jack to keep quiet and avoid eye contact, which is sort of uncharacteristic of him. With such a high roll, upon getting closer Rowen could actually smell Terra on him (her hair dye gives her a distinct scent).

Rowen: Really? Grape Juice (his nickname for her)? Did she bewitch you or something? Jack: *groans and brings a hand to his face* It’s complicated and I don’t want to talk about it!

I’ve joked about Jack knowing no shame but he sure knew it that night lol

After letting that go they talked about her and their mutual distrust of her. Someone joins you uninvited in the middle of a war and starts asking a lot of questions, you gotta be a little suspicious. So Rowen suggested teaching Jack drow sign language, which he picked up as part of his backstory, so that they could communicate without being eavesdropped on. It’ll be an ongoing process, but he spent an hour teaching him some basics and with a high int roll from Jack the DM has let us pick 5 short phrases he can use. We’re still deciding on what they should be. So far we have: 1. We should speak in private. 2. This person is lying. 3. Danger/Watch your back. 4. I am lying, play along

As they went to turn in for the night Terra popped her head out to ask if Jack was up for a second round. Jack just told her she couldn’t handle it and ducked into his and Rowen’s room, and Terra shrugged and went back into the NPC’s room (presumably for round 2). It’s unfortunate that she left so quickly because Rowen’s player said later that had she lingered a bit longer he would have told her “Thanks for keepin’ it warm for me�� just to further mess with her, and make Jack regret his entire existence. 

Couple more notable quotes:

"And that's where we're going to end our session With two of you participating in a three way And the other doing cocaine with his friend Congratulations you bunch of degenerates lmao" - DM

"shout out to our party for getting promoted by the future king, who trusts us so much... and then proceeding to spend the evening making poor life choices" - me

[igsojisbuuta-blog]

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