#should've stayed home

[rickybowensfever]

28. “I should have stayed home”

@sicktember - Day 28

28. “I should have stayed home”

NEW CHARACTERS!!

I'm introducing my new characters in this fic. Meet Jessie and Luke!

Jessica “Jessie” Rose Baker (She/her): Fat; curly long blonde hair; Southern Belle from Alabama currently living in Maryland, bisexual; dental hygienist. She is fresh out of college. Age: 23

Luke Olsen (He/him): Trans guy; light brown hair and green eyes; slender; from Maryland; 2nd grade teacher at a public school. Age: 22

Bio: Jessie and Luke met at John Hopkin’s University in Maryland. They live together in a small apartment complex and have been together for three years. They met during their junior year of college.

OCTOBER 5, 2023

Sitting at their table in the dim light of the venue, Luke could feel his head pounding as the DJ announced Jessie’s sister and her brother-in-law.

“Everybody give it up for the first time as husband and wife, Mr. and Mrs. Reynolds!”, the room erupted with applause and cheering as the newlyweds made their grand entrance to the dance floor.

Meanwhile, Luke lay his head on the table dressed in a white tablecloth, covering his ears trying to drown out the sound.

What feels like twenty minutes later but is only a few minutes, he feels Jessie’s hand on his back. Her long blonde curls hitting his shoulder and the smell of her rose perfume was strong.

“You okay?” she whispered into his ear. Throughout the last two weeks, Luke had felt something coming on. With the seasons changing and a month into the school year, it was inevitable. Only two years into teaching and his immune system had yet to catch up with his germ-infested students. But he held out hope that the beginning of school sickness would hold out until after the wedding.  

He was very, very wrong.

“I should’ve stayed home” his voice muffled as he kept his head on the table. Jessie sighed at her boyfriend and immediately grabbed her purse from the chair beside him. She sat down and rummaged through it until she found her emergency pack of pain relievers.

Luke knew what Jessie was thinking since they had just had this conversation yesterday. Luke was feeling run down from a long week of rowdy (and snotty) second graders that he skipped the rehearsal dinner that night to rest on the couch and watch [redacted show because the SAG-AFTRA & WGA are on strike!]  for the fifth time.  

Jessie told him repeatedly he didn’t have to go to the wedding sick. But Luke was as stubborn as they came, and he wanted to support her. But now he wanted to kick Past Luke for not listening to her.  

Jessie nudged Luke’s arm trying to get his attention, holding onto the sleeve of his suit jacket. He slowly pulled his head off of the table and looked at her with his big glassy, green eyes. She pouted her lip; she wore rose red lipstick to match her maroon-colored dress.

As the DJ called everyone to watch the father-daughter dance, Jessie handed him the small white container shaped as a cylinder and directed him to take the medication. Luke shook out two pink tablets onto his palm and chase them down with the complementary glass of water he was given when they walked into the reception.

“Why don’t I give you the key to the hotel and you can go lie down?” she suggested, looking at him and back up at the dance floor.

Luke knew she was right. At his job, he was constantly solving childish problems that his seven and eight-year-old students thought were the end of the world so why was it so hard to let someone else solve his easy problems for once?

“I think I’ll be okay” he lied as his head continued to pound to the rhythm of the music.

Jessie had been looking forward to being a bridesmaid in her sister's wedding since the engagement back in Fall of 2019 which happened to be the same time she and Luke met at college. He wanted to be there for her to witness her brother’s big day.

Jessie smiled a thin-lipped smile and put a hand on his back. “If you start feeling bad, let me know and a car can drive you over to the hotel. Seriously,” she said looking into his eyes sternly.

Luke nodded his head in agreement. He would wait at least until dinner and head back to the hotel. He had at least attended the wedding, he told himself trying to convince his anxious thoughts he was doing good by her.

[i-wanna-perish]

I'm not jealous I'm not jealous I'm not jealous I'm not jealous I'm not jealous I'm not jealous I'm so normal about this situation I'm so normal about this situation I am so normal about this.

Reminiscing on Cardinal Meet and Greets…

I’M HAPPY FOR YOU BUT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME

/lh

/hj

/pos

[henry-alex]

I am having the worst morning I am so pissed off this is a nightmare

[ghostblade-3411]

You caast me out when you were the one who took my soul

[nowhere-to-go-but-here]

Sometimes meeting someone new can lift your mood, make you realise the world isn’t such a bad place after all, and remember how much you enjoy meeting interesting people.

Sometimes meeting someone new can be like being sucked into a blackhole of negativity, dragging you down into a dark place, so narrow and miserable that you even after you leave, you can’t shake off the shadows.

Today was the latter. Sigh. Bad introvert, trying to go out there and meet people. Shoulda stayed home and held on to the delicate positivity I managed to dredge up this morning, and turned it into something productive. 

Instead, ugh, I put myself out there, made myself vulnerable (unnecessarily) and was rewarded for it with unkindness and judgement. 

Should’ve just stayed home.

[sillyduckfury]

I feel like I have been ordering the strangest things online lately. Items that I would normally just stop in a store and pick up. But the store is out of stock several weeks in a row or I simply cannot find it because the store is moved around. 

When I was taking business classes one of the things that was recommended to keep people in your store longer was to freshen up your layout so they will browse more and buy more. However, I have reached a point where I need consistency to deal with my anxiety. When they move a store around, I end up getting frustrated and leaving, only to order the thing I went to get online...so I may as well stay home to start with.

I swear I used to love browsing stores and hunting deals. But after two years of avoiding large groups of people I came out the other side different. I have given myself a year to adapt to being around large groups again, but it is not working, I am not reentering society very well. 

[defira85]

Called in sick today because my pain is off the charts only to find out the receptionist called in sick last night

So guess who's at work anyway, running reception

I'm wearing ugg boots under the desk because I couldn't manage to put my shoes on

[skibasyndrome]

.

[wisteria-whump]

whumpee feeling a bit under the weather but thinking they're fine until they go to work/school and realize they are very much not fine but still forcing themselves to power through the day

[paaelle]

I made the horrible decision of coming to school today

[spotaus]

Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡

So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.

At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.

Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.

I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.

So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.

If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.

[yyshcul]

my body be like APRIL FOOLS ❗❗❗[gets a virus that makes you projectile vomit for 6 hours straight]

[theworstofallpossibleworlds]

The lads go surfing on a soundwave and swing through the stars as they tag along on the increasingly alarming field trips of Ms. Frizzle in the landmark children’s franchise: The Magic School Bus. Full episode available on our Patreon at Patreon dot com slash worstofall!

[yearningfortheend]

So my stomach hurts.

[rottedbrainz]

Yay! Finished my water color portraits of the Fam doing beach things! ⛱️ ☀️🕶

I used my regular water color markers but I used an actual brush to paint this time, sooo the just know the mixture of colors was an artistic choice.

[mercymaker]

has to be my luck to go out running with the bf even if i wasn't feeling too hot because i thought 'oh, i'll just run as much as i can and take it easy' only to start feeling pain in my foot by 10 minute mark

but yeah nah i thought 'fuck it, gonna push myself just a wee little bit and make it to the next corner'. made the corner. pain bad. stopped running. 1,5km away from home though. start walking back. pain even more bad. shift weight to my heel. ok. not bad. walk for 5 minutes. pain very bad. can no longer walk. panic. sat down on a random ass bench. keys in hand. no phone. no nothing. realize i might not be able to walk back home. more panic. eventually realize the pain is not as bad if i step on my tiptoes. great. walk back home at the speed of a turtle, resting every couple of minutes when the pain gets bad. it starts raining like hell. smile through pain.jpg all the way back home where my bf meets me all worried because i took forever and had the keys. had to deadass crawl up the stairs to my room