#should really get a specific tag for this au in particular

[starryeyedjanai]

words that are hard to swallow

rated: teen | @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt: christmas tags: modern au, christmas gifts, birthday gifts, accidental come ons read on ao3

Steve doesn't know what to get for Eddie for Christmas so he finds an Etsy shop that does custom candles where you can choose the scent and the message on the candle.

Steve puts in the order note that he’s getting this for someone that probably likes woodsy scents and that the message can be the seller’s choice.

He doesn't look at it before wrapping it because it gets to him a day late in the mail, on Christmas Eve when everyone is exchanging gifts, and he barely has time to wrap it before he leaves to meet everyone for dinner.

Everyone exchanges gifts around the tree after dinner and Eddie pauses for a really long moment when he gets to Steve's gift and it makes him nervous.

Does he not like the scent? A candle seemed like a generic gift that anyone would like, but maybe Eddie is particular about his scents.

A minute passes and then Eddie leans over to say, “We should probably talk later,” before putting the candle back in its box.

Steve follows Eddie to his place after dinner, wondering the entire time if he somehow mortally offended him and when they get inside, he asks, “Did you not like it?”

Eddie says, “I mean, it was a weird time to give that to me, don't you think?”

Steve is confused. A weird time to give him a candle?

Eddie sees his confusion and says, “You have no idea what it says, do you?”

Steve shakes his head. “I told the Etsy shop to surprise me.”

Eddie laughs. “Oh, you’ll be surprised alright.”

He takes the candle out of the box and turns it around.

It reads Light me when you want a BJ.

Steve is obviously mortified.

When he goes back to it later, the Etsy listing was apparently for “Candles for Him, Husband, Boyfriend, 18+ Messages.” He thought it meant there were over 18 messages to choose from.

He sighs and vows to pay closer attention to the listing next time.

—

The next time he needs a gift for Eddie is his birthday and he really does mean to pick his gift up earlier because he’s known for a while what he wanted to get him. But he lost track of time and then suddenly Eddie’s sending him a reminder about his birthday dinner and Steve still hasn't gotten the gift.

He heads to Target hoping and praying the Lego set Eddie mentioned a few months ago is in stock.

He finds it, luckily, and heads to the card aisle, but he’s pressed for time, so he just grabs one in the birthday section and hopes the message doesn't have anything age specific in it.

The cashier rings him up and places the card face down on the envelope, asking if he wants it in the bag.

He says no and asks if she has a pen because he doesn't have one in his car.

He grabs the pen from her and writes Hope you have a great birthday! on the inside, shoving it into the envelope and into the bag before taking his credit card out of the reader.

He rushes out of the store and is only a few minutes late to dinner.

He tells Eddie he’ll give him his gift at his apartment since he forgot to get a gift bag, so he meets Eddie at his apartment afterwards and brings the Target bag inside.

Eddie is appropriately surprised and happy, wrapping Steve up in a hug when he sees what’s inside the bag.

“You wanna help me put this together?” Eddie asks, and Steve says yes because that’s also part of why he wanted to give it to Eddie here.

They start putting together the set, the Bomber Starfighter, and it takes hours to get even halfway through, so they call it a night and agree to finish it tomorrow.

When Steve shows up a few hours before his shift the next day to finish it, Eddie opens the door with an envelope in his hand—his card must have fallen to the bottom of the bag when they took the Lego set out.

“So I don't know if this was a ‘haha remember the weird candle I accidentally bought’ thing or a come on, but I nearly choked on my coffee this morning when I found this,” Eddie says, letting Steve inside.

“Oh fuck, what does it say?” Steve asks, cringing.

Eddie turns and looks at him. “No fucking way this was an accident. I’d buy that it was a gag card, but there’s no way you picked this up by accident.”

“I was running late and didn't have time to read through the cards in Target. I just went with one that looked plain and simple,” he says.

Eddie hands him the card.

On the front, it says I LOVE YOU FOR YOUR PERSONALITY, BUT THAT D*CK IS A REALLY NICE BONUS.

“Jesus christ,” Steve says. “Why did Target even have this card?”

Eddie snorts. “Either the universe is trying to tell us something or you have supremely bad luck, my friend.”

Steve looks at him and hesitantly says, “Maybe it’s both?”

Eddie looks taken aback. “Yeah?” he asks with a shy smile.

Steve runs a hand through his hair. “I dunno. I was… thinking about it after the last time, with the candle.”

“Thinking about…?” Eddie trails off, looking at Steve's lips, his eyes going dark.

Steve nods, biting his lip.

Eddie takes a step closer and says, “I don't know if you realized, but I lit that candle last night before you got here. It was burning while we were building the Lego set.”

Steve's breath comes a little bit quicker. “I didn't notice that, no.”

“Do you want me to light it again?” Eddie whispers and Steve doesn't even have to think about it before he nods.

They don't end up getting around to building the rest of the Lego set that day.

[97-liners]

out of the frying pan and into your heart

jeon wonwoo x female reader

tags: college au, fraternities, fake dating, misunderstandings, childhood friends to lovers, this all could have been resolved with some proper communication, lots of pining specifically for em, fluff, rom com, best friend minghao, y/n is oblivious!!!

warnings: alcohol, weed, frats, american college setting

words: 9.3k

synopsis:

it starts, as it always does with this particular collection of friends, with shenanigans and cahoots.

well, more specifically, for wonwoo it starts with shenanigans, when soonyoung and junhui somehow manage to collide brain cells and write in to the school newspaper's love advice columnist about his crush on his childhood best friend.

and for you, the aforementioned childhood best friend and, in secret, also the aforementioned love advice columnist, it starts with cahoots when kim mingyu manages to convince you to fake date him so he can win some popularity contest for his frat.

for @notesof-mh

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It starts, as it always does with this particular collection of friends, with shenanigans and cahoots. 

Well, more specifically, for Wonwoo it starts with shenanigans, when Soonyoung and Junhui somehow manage to collide brain cells. 

He had barely been awake for 15 seconds when they had barged into his room, laptop in hands, just to show him the text in a pink-colored submission box surrounded by heart emojis. Wonwoo squints, the blurry words coming into just enough focus for him to make out what they say. “Dear Cherry, I’m a third year computer science student and I’m in love with my best friend, except I’m— what the hell is this?” 

He glares at Soonyoung who grins cheerfully and points again at the screen. “Read the rest, Wonwoo!”

Wonwoo sighs and continues reading. “Except I’m a huge awkward loser and she’s so cool and pretty, and I don’t know how to tell her I like her. What should I do?”

“Alright, hit send,” Junhui instructs, tilting the laptop away and laughing maniacally. 

Wonwoo pushes his hand across his face, trying his best to wipe away the last vestiges of sleep-addled confusion, and then he realizes what’s happening.

“Wait, you can’t do that,” he tries to protest, but Soonyoung giggles and clicks a button.

“No, this will be good,” Junhui says, plopping down on the edge of Wonwoo’s bed. “Minghao told me that whoever runs the advice column in the school paper is, like, a love guru, and she has four thousand followers on instagram. And she’s never shown her face, but she’s probably also really pretty.”

Wonwoo groans. “I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”

“Just trust us,” Soonyoung pats Wonwoo’s knee through the blanket, “this is a good idea.”

And for you, it starts with kahoots, when your chemistry lab partner, Mingyu, pulls your stool closer to his side and whispers a proposition to you.

“Do you want to be my fake girlfriend?”

You narrow your eyes at him through your fogged up department-issued safety goggles. “Are you insane? What kind of fumes are you on?”

“None,” Mingyu replies. “I’m Sigma’s nominee for the Greek God award at the inter-fraternity tournament this year and I’m the only nominee who’s single.”

“And so I’m your pick,” you respond flatly. 

Mingyu nods eagerly. His safety glasses slide down his nose, and he has to push them back up. “Yeah, you’re so pretty and cool, I think it’d be really impressive if I somehow managed to pull you.”

“Huh.”

“And,” he adds on, lowering his voice even more, “Jeonghan thinks my only real competition this year is going to be Jung Jaehyun from Nu Kappa Tau, and rumor has it you rejected him in high school. Twice. So I think it’d be pretty funny if we ended up together.”

You scoff and turn back toward the titration in front of you. “You can’t go up to people and ask for things like this.”

“C’mon, you know the winner gets free parking for an entire semester,” he whines. “Ok, how’s this? If you’ll pretend to be my girlfriend for the Greek God award, I’ll write our lab reports for the rest of the semester.” 

His offer makes you pause, and he jumps on that pause, wedging his way in there. 

“I’ll give you executive editing power, but I’ll do all the work,” he wheedles, “and I’ll give you a perfect peer eval at the end of the semester. I promise,” he puts a big meaty hand on your lab notebook and smears the ink under his fingers. “Kim Mingyu isn’t a liar.”

“I’ll conveniently ignore the fact that you’re lying about having a girlfriend to win this award, then,” you roll your eyes.

“That’s different, though,” he protests, “the award is dumb and meaningless and I really want it. But a promise made between buddies is important.”

He looks earnest, so you decide to lay off on him just a little. “When we’re fake-dating,” you sigh, “you can’t call us buddies anymore.”

“So that’s a…”

You groan, hating yourself for being so indulgent. “Yes. That’s a yes.”

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“Hold on Y/N, have you seen this?”

“Seen what?” You look over the top of your laptop screen, where you’re halfway through a paper on the Cuban Missile Crisis. 

Minghao, your co-admin of the school newspaper’s (infamous) advice column turns his screen towards you. “Someone wrote in calling themselves a huge awkward loser.”

“Huh,” you grin to yourself as you read over the message quickly. “That’s kind of cute, actually.”

“Of course you think it’s cute,” Minghao rolls his eyes. “I’m going to assign this one over to you.”

“Yeah, sure, but please,” you mutter, “can you be a bit more discreet about it?”

Minghao looks at you over the top of his glasses. “What, about us being Ask Cherry? It’s not as embarrassing as you make it out to be.”

“Be quiet,” you hiss, looking around, “someone could overhear!” You frown, and then quietly, you add on, “and it is embarrassing. I’m supposed to be a journalism major, and I’m here making up horoscopes and giving fake relationship advice three days a week.”

This is an overstatement, and Minghao rolls his eyes. You only make up horoscopes and give fake relationship advice one day a week (Mondays are for Matters Of The Heart, your schedule says). There’s also Am I The Asshole Wednesdays, a campus favorite, and Friday Free-for-alls, when you field confessions of all types. Dear Cherry, I need to get this off my chest. I’ve been using my roommate’s shampoo this whole semester, and today I found out that our two other roommates have also been using this roommate’s shampoo. He doesn’t suspect a thing. 

You hadn’t meant to end up in this position. You write serious pieces for the school newspaper too, reporting on the Student Government’s legislative sessions and the university’s semesterly budget for grants to culturally-centered student organizations. Those articles, you have your name attached to. But at the end of last year, the new editor-in-chief Jeonghan had approached you and convinced (strong-armed) you into becoming the new writer for the infamous advice column, Ask Cherry, since Cherry himself was quitting to make more time for other priorities.

(“And the kicker is,” you had complained to Minghao, “nobody will ever believe me.” Choi Seungcheol, fraternity president, football player, gym rat, jock, fuckboy extraordinaire— relationship advice columnist? No, it’s simply not realistic. 

“I’m sitting on the juiciest piece of gossip to cross my path in my entire life, and I can’t do anything about it,” you say dejectedly.

“Hmm.” Minghao doesn’t even pretend to be interested.)

But, despite your disastrous real-world love life, your clumsily dispensed life advice, and the completely made up horoscopes, Ask Cherry readership skyrocketed under your intrepid watch. Once, you told a reader that the albino squirrel that lives in the tree next to the physics building was a good omen, and the next day, rumor spread that an albino squirrel sighting would grant you an A on your next exam. For weeks after, people would scatter peanuts and pieces of toast by the base of the tree next to the physics building, until campus facilities had to fence the area off because raccoons were starting to show up instead. 

Minghao finding out had been a complete accident, after you had lent him your laptop to print out a paper that was due the next hour, but you had forgotten to minimize the window with your Ask Chrery submissions. Minghao, being someone who loves giving advice, both solicited and unsolicited, naturally joined in on this scheme of yours. 

“Anyways,” you shrug. You look up as Junhui steps into the public study area of the library and scans the tables twice before making eye contact with you, and then waving. “Minghao, did you invite the others over to study with us?”

“Yeah,” Minghao responds, raising an eyebrow at you. “You got a problem with that?”

“No, it’s just—“ you’re about to complain about never being able to focus on your work with the rest of them around, but the words die on your lips when you spot Wonwoo trailing behind Junhui with a bemused expression on his face and a cardboard tray holding bubble teas in his hands. You can’t help the grin that spreads across your face. “Hey guys,” you wave over to them, clearing off the table space next to you to make room for them. 

“I brought you a taro milk tea,” Junhui announces, gesturing behind him, “and a Wonwoo to boot.”

“He made me walk with him because he didn’t know your favorite drink,” Wonwoo explains quietly as he slides the drinks onto the table and takes his seat next to you. “Are you working on that international relations paper?”

“Yeah.” You take your taro milk tea. No ice, 50% sweet, tapioca pearls and grass jelly, just the way you like it. 

“Do you think you’ll be done by Friday?”

“I will be free by then,” you promise him, punctuating your statement by stabbing your boba straw through the film covering the cup. You’d rather suffer through an all nighter on Sunday than miss your regular Friday night gaming sessions with Wonwoo, a tradition the two of you have kept up since both of you were in middle school and still playing Starcraft.

“Anyway,” Junhui leans over the table, resting his chin on top of his interlaced fingers. “I have a funny story.”

You tear your gaze away from Wonwoo. “Hm?”

“So, you know that advice columnist for the school paper? Wonwoo submitted a question the other day. Well, Soonyoung and I did, but for Wonwoo.”

You feel your blood run cold. It’s not that you’re ashamed of running a love advice column, but it’s more that you’re… embarrassed. And you’ve been running it in secret for so long that at this point, you can’t even fathom anyone outside of Minghao knowing. Maybe when you graduate, you’ll do an identity reveal, but you’re not quite there now.

“Can we talk about literally anything else,” Wonwoo grouses, somewhat to your relief. he glares at Junhui, but the effect is somewhat dampened when he lifts his bubble tea to his mouth and loudly slurps up some tapioca pearls.

“Yeah,” you quickly agree, not eager to have your secret identity exposed.

Junhui steamrolls on ahead, however. “So. If you’re reading the column and there’s a question from someone who has a big stupid crush, you know who it’s from.”

Your breath catches in your throat. Wonwoo? A crush?

“Junhui,” Wonwoo groans, digging his fingers into the bridge of his nose, brows furrowed in an expression of exquisite pain. 

Minghao, however, leans forward and lets his glasses slide down his nose. He laces his fingers together. “A crush? On who?”

Junhui and Minghao both turn to stare at Wonwoo, who flushes beet red. 

“Oh, hey guys!”

You feel a heavy arm around your shoulder and turn to see, to your abject horror, Mingyu, who scoots his way onto the bench to squeeze in next to you. “What are you doing here,” you hiss at your oversized interloper, but Mingyu just glances pointedly at the spot two tables down where a bunch of upperclassmen are sitting and chatting. You recognize Choi Seungcheol, the president of Mingyu’s frat, and you sigh and deflate. Fine. A promise is a promise.

You smile weakly at the other three guys sitting at your table. “Surprise,” you say flatly,” Mingyu is my boyfriend now.”

You’re momentarily distracted by a loud honking noise as Junhui narrowly avoids choking on his bubble tea and spraying the table through his nose. 

“Mingyu?!” Minghao sounds simultaneously dismayed and slightly judgemental.

“C’mon, dude,” Mingyu whines, slumping like a kicked puppy. You pat his bicep soothingly. “You don’t have to make it sound that bad.”

Minghao and Junhui share a conspicuous glance. Mingyu isn’t the type of guy you’d usually go for, but you think this reaction is a bit uncalled for. “He’s not that bad,” you find yourself defending your fake boyfriend. “Mingyu is nice, and he’s really tall.”

You blink. Mingyu turns his pout on you now. “Nice and really tall? Are you for real?”

“It’s true,” you scowl at him. “Are you here to study, or did you just come by to get on my nerves?”

“Okay, well,” Junhui interjects sharply, “Wonwoo and I should get going.”

“Wait, but you two just got here,” you attempt to protest, but Wonwoo, who had been quiet this whole time, stands up and slings his backpack over his shoulder.

“I’ll see you later, Y/N,” he says to you, before leaving along with Junhui. 

(It’s not until later, when you’re lounging with Minghao in the living room of your shared apartment, that it hits you, again, but this time with its full weight.

“Wonwoo likes someone,” you say out loud. It’s not a question.

Minghao glances up form his book at you with a frown plastered across his face, his brows creased with irritation. He evaluates you carefully over the silver rims of his glasses, which you know aren’t prescription but are mainly there to make him look elegant and intellectual.

“...yes,” he finally acknowledges.

You frown despite yourself. “I wonder who it is.”

“What does it matter to you,” Minghao scoffs, “you’re dating Mingyu, remember?”

“You can pretend to hate Gyu, but I know you like him better than any of the rest of us.” You really hadn’t been expecting to defend Mingyu twice in a day, but you suppose that’s life as Kim Mingyu’s girlfriend. “And anyways, Wonwoo and I have been friends since we were kids. I can’t believe he didn’t tell me earlier.”

“Yeah, he probably can’t believe it either,” Minghao mutters under his breath so quietly, you almost miss it. Then, in a louder voice, he chides, “don’t think too much about it, yeah? You still have to reply professionally to his advice request. His anonymous advice request.”

“Right,” you sigh dejectedly, frowning at your laptop balanced across your knees. “How do I tell him that he’s not a nerd and a loser without giving away that I know who he is?”

Minghao shrugs. “Maybe tell him to be patient. Or maybe tell him to try to start getting over his crush.”

You consider his suggestion for a moment. It’s appealing, but then the thought of Wonwoo wasting away in his dark bedroom, sighing as he pines over his unrequited love, flashes across your mind. “I just don’t want him to be sad.”)

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“C’mon, he was right on top of you,” Wonwoo complains. You can hear the creaking of his gaming chair in the background, undoubtedly as he rises from his reclined position to gulp down more of whatever energy drink he has in his mini fridge this week. You groan and dig your fingers into the junction between your neck and shoulder, trying with little success to work out the knot that’s developed over this last round of PUBG.

“Wonwoo, that’s the problem, I suck at close range,” you huff in response, “you know I get panicky and forget to turn off auto-fire.”

It’s game night, and you and Wonwoo have been at it for the past two hours. Your paper isn’t done yet, but it can wait. It’s been over a decade since the years when the two of you would spend your summers together playing video games and walking aimlessly around the neighborhood with half-melted popsicles, talking for hours. But even as your social circles diverted from his, it’s always been something of an unspoken agreement that for this, you’d always make time for Wonwoo, and he’d always make time for you.

“Another round?” You and Wonwoo both ask the question at the same time. There’s a pause, and then you’re both laughing. Even over the headset mic, Wonwoo’s laugh is loud and unrestrained. It feels like a secret, a side of Wonwoo that he saves just for you and for Friday nights spent on opposite sides of the monitor.

“So.” You’re still waiting for the next match to start when Wonwoo breaks the comfortable silence. “Mingyu?”

You fidget at the ties of your hoodie. It’s stolen from Wonwoo, and you’ve had it since middle school at least. “Yeah?”

“Interesting choice.”

“What does that mean?”

He makes a casual, noncommittal noise. “I’m just surprised. I didn’t see it coming, and you didn’t tell me about it.”

You open your mouth to tell him that it’s actually all a ruse, to explain the whole situation, but the hard, petulant edge to his voice makes you pause. Wonwoo sounds… upset. But not quite upset. Jealous?

“Wonwoo,” you laugh. Onscreen, the timer counting down to the start of the match appears, and you jam on the space bar to make your character jump over his character’s prone body. “Wonwoo, are you jealous?”

Over your headphones, you hear the sound of his gaming chair squeaking. “I’m not jealous,” he says, in a tone of voice that sounds exactly like Wonwoo when he’s jealous. 

“You are. Where are we landing?” You toggle to the map in the game and zoom in on the path that the plane is taking. The player count in the bottom starts dropping as other players jump out. 

“Blue marker, does that look good to you? There’s a few houses we can loot, and it’s not close to the flight path. If we get bad circle placement, you can shoot me in the foot, if you want. As a treat.”

“Yeah, fine. Lead the way, boss. Anyways, why are you jealous?” You suppress the flutter in your chest. There’s no reason for you to get your hopes up. 

“You’re my friend,” Wonwoo says simply. It feels like a heavy towel being thrown over you. “You used to tell me everything. Mingyu is… fine,” he admits reluctantly. “He’s a good guy. I’m happy for you.”

Your heart clenches. You want to say something soft and sincere, but instead, you return with a jab. “You can’t be upset at me for keeping secrets, Wonwoo. What was Junhui saying about you liking someone?”

“Junhui just says stuff sometimes,” he replies curtly. 

You frown. “Junhui isn’t a liar, though. Who is it?” You ask, despite everything in you telling yourself that you don’t want to know the answer. “Who are they? Maybe I can talk to them for you.”

He laughs humorlessly. “It doesn’t matter. She’s in a relationship with someone else.”

You almost sigh in relief, but you stop yourself just in time. Why are you relieved? “Oh, Wonwoo. That sucks. She doesn’t know what she’s missing out on.”

Wonwoo makes a noise that tells you he’s shrugging. “She deserves better than me.”

“Hey!” You sit up, straightening your spine in indignation. “Don’t say that. You’re great, Wonwoo. You’re criminally underappreciated. You’re smart and you’re so sincere and kind, and maybe other people don’t acknowledge it, but you’re really funny and interesting.”

He’s quiet for a moment, and the only thing you hear is the game audio as your character collects supplies and clears the building the two of you are in. “Let me know if you find any gun that’s not a pistol, by the way. I have a 2x scope on me.”

“Thank you,” Wonwoo replies. You know he’s not talking about the scope.

Even though the two of you are gaming individually in your own rooms, you want nothing more than to tug off your headphones and go down the two flights of stairs to Wonwoo’s apartment and give him a hug.

“I have an AKM and a bunch of healing items on me,” Wonwoo says, “come to me and you can have whatever you want.”

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It would have been much less embarrassing if you had realized it last week when you were walking to class and Wonwoo had stopped you in the middle of the sidewalk to pluck a fallen leaf from your hair with that stupidly fond expression plastered on his face; or maybe when you accidentally fell asleep in his bed during an afternoon study session and woke up later with your head on his shoulder, legs tangled together, the sound of his soft snoring puffing in your ear, his hand held loosely in yours. Maybe in another life, it would have been one of those soft, romantic moments, like something out of a coming of age anime. But no, because you’re you and your life is the way it is, the moment you realize you’re in love with Wonwoo goes like this:

It’s Sunday, noon already, and you’re in Wonwoo’s shared apartment. Junhui had let you in earlier when you had knocked at their door until your knuckles were sore. When you burst unceremoniously into Wonwoo’s bedroom, he’s still asleep with his glasses on, smudged and crooked, and his phone on his chest. You frown. “Wake up, Wonwoo. Did you fall asleep while watching dramas again?”

Wonwoo jumps slightly and lifts his head, brows furrowing. “Huh?”

“You said you’d go to lunch with me.” You extend your arms and spin to show off your cute, perfectly coordinated outfit, picked out specifically to match the instagram trap you’re going to. You even broke out the eyeliner and glitter eyeshadow to match the cute knit cardigan and wool miniskirt you put on. “What hat should I wear? The fuzzy bucket hat,” you hold up option one, “or the beret,” you hold up option two, looking down at Wonwoo expectantly.

Your best friend groans and collapses back onto the bed, eyes sliding shut. “Um. The beret.”

“Okay great, now get out of bed. Our reservation is soon and you still need to wash your face and get dressed.” You poke at his cheek, which is greasy from sleep and still bears the imprint of his pillow. 

“Can you get Minghao to go with you instead?” He doesn’t bother opening his eyes.

“Nope,” you respond, popping the ‘p’, “he has dance practice.”

“Mingyu?”

“He said he had a textile arts club meeting?” You frown. “I’m not sure what it is, but he’s been crocheting like crazy for it this week.”

“Um,” Wonwoo smacks his hand over his face, clearly trying to think of other options. He forgets, however, that he fell asleep with his glasses on, and ends up jamming the frames against this cheek. “Ow. Ok, what about, uh, Seokmin?”

You pout at him even though he can’t see it. “Wonu,” you whine, sitting down on his bed, “I want to go to lunch with you, though.”

At that, he finally cracks his eyes open. “Why?”

Because, you want to say, I don’t want to do this with anybody other than you. You briefly try to imagine doing this whole thing– dressing up, making a reservation, taking pictures and walking around town, huddling together in a cafe in the afternoon to watch the latest Nintendo Direct together– with anybody else, but you just quite settle on it comfortably. No. It has to be Wonwoo. Because Wonwoo is your best friend, because Wonwoo has always been there for you, because Wonwoo just gets you, better than anybody ever has, and every moment you spend with Wonwoo, you feel your mood lifting and relaxing. Because you trust Wonwoo and he trusts you, and because you know him, and you love him–

You love him.

Oh.

Oh.

You’ll have to process that later. “Because you have a car and you can drive me,” you tell Wonwoo instead, shoving the revelation down to the back of your mind and putting it in a box labeled problems for future me.

“Fine,” Wonwoo acquiesces, sitting up with enormous effort. His hair is still sticking up in all directions, making him look like a big dark dandelion. A part of you expects to see him in a different light, now that you think you love him, like there’s supposed to be cherubs singing and starlight in his eyes or something, but instead, you just see regular old Wonwoo. Your best friend. He doesn’t suddenly look like a vision sent from heaven, he just looks sleepy and crusty and a little greasy.

“Hurry up and brush your teeth,” you tell him, slapping him lightly on his belly and laughing at the resulting ouuff that jerks out of him, “you have morning breath and I can smell it from here.”

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From: kwon.soonyoung@svt.edu To: ask_cherry_svt@gmail.com Re: advice

Dear Cherry, my friend is in love with his childhood friend but she doesn’t love him back :( how do we make her fall in love with him? from anonymous

“Hm,” you sigh out loud, “I wonder if Soonyoung knows that the anonymous signoff is made moot by the fact that he emailed this one in instead of using the anonymous submission box.” You’re draped on the couch with your legs propped all the way up and your laptop on your chest as you scroll through this week’s Am I The Asshole Wednesday submissions.

“You can ignore him,” Minghao says, passing by with a full bottle of wine in each hand on his way to put them away in the kitchen. “I don’t think you should be giving any love advice when your own love life is a mess,” he sniffs. 

“You’re the asshole,” you announce, not looking up from your screen. “That was for you, Minghao.” Clearly, he’s still mad at you after you had revealed the whole Mingyu situation to him a few nights ago. You still remember the blistering look that Minghao had thrown at you, like you’re the dumbest human he’s ever had the supreme displeasure of knowing.

“I guess you don’t want to go to the dance team party with me, then,” your roommate responds smoothly, returning from the kitchen. It’s only 6pm, but Minghao is already dressed in a silk pajama set with a matching robe, lenseless glasses frames perched on the tip of his nose, smelling of strawberry-scented lotion as he pours himself a glass of wine.

You scowl at him.  “Fine. I don’t care.” Turning back to your laptop, you scroll past a few more boring submissions on your hunt for the truly salacious stuff your classmates get up to. “I wonder what Soonyoung is even talking about, though,” you mumble, half to yourself, as you click on the next interesting subject line.

.

.

.

In retrospect, Mingyu was definitely going to win that Greek God competition, even if Jaehyun from Nu Kapp put up a good fight.

Mingyu’s physique is certainly impressive, and the audience erupted when he won the (shirtless and oiled-up, for some reason) pushup contest, but his clumsiness eventually led him to lose at every other physical challenge. It was his overwhelming victory in the popularity vote and personality contest that got him to first place. It’s probably all because of his unwavering friendliness and his constant need for affirmation manifesting into an overwhelming desire to be helpful, but you like to think that maybe you helped too.

That’s why you’re here, in the kitchen of the Sigma house, absolutely wasted at the celebration party the frat is throwing in honor of Mingyu being crowned the best frat star on campus. Between the blunt that you, Mingyu, Minghao, and Seokmin, another friend in your year, had passed around upstairs, and all the shots that Mingyu had plied you with, you’re feeling weirdly bouncy and giggly and not entirely sure if you’ll remember this the next morning.

“Okay, so,” Mingyu mumbles, pulling you closer as the two of you nestle in a corner, away from whatever is going on at the beer pong table, “we should stage a breakup, right?”

You giggle against the hollow of his throat, arms looped over his shoulders. “Can we make it your fault?”

He whines like a kicked puppy. “Why can’t we make it mutual? Jeonghan would kick my ass.”

“Fine, fine,” you huff, not at all reluctant. “We should give it some time so it’s not suspicious, right?”

“Yeah.” Mingyu nods, accidentally knocking his chin against your forehead. “You’re so smart.”

“Which means I’m still on girlfriend duty tonight,” you conclude.

“Oh, come on.” Mingyu’s hands come down to rest at your waist, his fingertips skimming along the waistband of your skirt, eliciting a shiver from you when you feel his rough, warm skin against yours. “You make it sound like a chore.”

You sigh. Oh well, you could do much worse than Mingyu.

You’re not sure if it’s the weed or the alcohol, or maybe just jealousy at this fake version of yourself that’s happy with a boyfriend and not moping over an unrequited crush on your childhood best friend, but you find it strangely easy to lean up and attach your lips to Mingyu’s, feel the wet heat of his tongue in your mouth. and Mingyu, pliant under your grip as always, kisses you back, going along with it without a second thought.

“No offense,” he pants as he parts from you, “but I don’t think I want to hook up with you.”

You blink at him. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No, no,” he clarifies quickly, “you’re a good kisser, I just don’t want things to be weird between us, which I think might happen if we hook up.”

“If fake dating didn’t make things weird, I’m not sure that hooking up would,” you laugh, more of a giggle than anything. You attach your lips to his jaw, pulling him down towards you so you don’t have to crane your neck. 

“And also,” he nudges at the hair behind your ear with his nose, “you’re like, totally wasted right now.”

“You’re not sober either,” you shoot back, accusatory.

“More sober than you,” he shoots back. He’s right, though. His large stature means that he can hold his liquor much better than you. “It wouldn’t be fair,” he pouts, stubborn, “and I’m not a creep.”

“Fine.” You tug lightly at the short hairs on the back of his head. 

“Are… are you okay?”

Mingyu’s question makes you hesitate for a moment. You lean your flushed cheek against the jut of his collarbone. “I’m drunk,” you respond flatly.

“No, not that, you’re just usually not this…” you feel Mingyu gulp, “clingy.”

You wonder if you should tell him about Wonwoo and your stupid pointless crush that’s starting to feel less like a crush every time you’re with him and more like… something deeper. Something frightening, like a yawning chasm, just waiting for you to fall in.

You’re saved the effort of further deliberation, however, when Mingyu suddenly raises his head and interrupts your thoughts. “Hey, isn’t that Wonwoo?”

You lift yourself off of Mingyu’s chest and look behind you. True to his word, it really is Wonwoo, standing by the door, jacket on, looking at you like a deer caught in the headlights. 

“Huh, he doesn’t usually come to these,” Mingyu observes, tugging idly at the bottom of your shirt. “I wonder why he’s here.”

You think you know why he’s here, though. Earlier, back upstairs, you had excused yourself to the bathroom to take a quick breather. Through an alcohol and weed induced haze, you had belatedly realized that it’s Friday night, and you’re late.

you: cn you come pick me u you: at sigma wonu: are you ok? i’ll be there in a few you: sry im drunk you: wanna go home w u

Now, staring Wonwoo dead in the eyes, you realize with a jolt that you had never told him why you asked him to pick you up. You peel yourself off your fake boyfriend and stumble, clumsily, towards Wonwoo, trying your best to ignore the way the room spins around you.

“Wonu,” you whine reaching out to him.

He frowns. “Are you okay? What’s happening?”

“I’m drunk,” you tell him.

“I know.” He extends his arm and lets you cling on to him as you stumble into his torso.

“And it’s Friday night,” you look up at him.

“Yes.”

“We’re supposed to be playing Overwatch together.” You give him the best puppy eyes you can muster, and he blinks at you, looking flustered.

“Huh?”

“Overwatch,” you insist, tugging him towards the door. “Friday night. It’s Wonwoo and Y/N night.”

“Is… is this what you called me over here for?”

You nod and begin dragging Wonwoo out by the wrist. 

The cool air outside hits your flushed skin like a wave, like you’re jumping into a pool. Wonwoo is silent and lets you continue to cling onto him as he walks you to where he had parked on the side of the street, directly under a streetlight.

You slide into the passenger seat. Wonwoo hands you a bottle of water, cap already removed for you. “Hydrate,” he orders. 

“Sorry,” you whimper, somewhat pathetically.

He frowns. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I must be so annoying,” you mumble, feeling tears welling up in your eyes.

“No,” Wonwoo reaches out and takes your hand over the center console. “You’re not annoying.”

You watch him as he drives. He’s so handsome, your alcohol-addled mind supplies. 

“You don’t think I’m annoying?”

“Never.”

Wonwoo says it like a promise.

Silence falls over the two of you as he drives through campus, all the way back to the student housing unit that both of you live in. He turns off the engine, leaving a silence that feels even more all-encompassing. He looks over at you, face half hidden in the shadows and half illuminated by the orange lamplight outside. “Is Minghao home?”

“N…no, he’s back at the party.”

“Okay, we’re going back to my apartment, then,” he decides.

You blink. “Huh?” But you’re already stumbling out of his car and spilling onto the sidewalk, all wobbly legs and loose limbs. 

“I’m taking you back to my place,” Wonwoo repeats. “You need someone to watch you and make sure you don’t wander off and get lost in the city,” he explains drily.

“‘M okay,” you whine futilely. It’s especially unconvincing, since you’re still stumbling over your own feet and leaning against him. 

Wonwoo lets you rest your cheek on his shoulder and cling onto him as he lets you into his apartment, gets you a glass of water, and digs up a pack of makeup wipes from out of nowhere and sits you on his bed and starts to get to work. 

A small (very drunk) part of you bristles at the appearance of the makeup wipes, and you try to scowl, even as Wonwoo gently wipes at your smudged eyeliner. “Whose are these? Do you have a lot of girls over here or something?”

“They’re Junhui’s, he uses them,” Wonwoo explains. He dabs at one last spot in the corner of your right eye, then announces, “there, you’re all done.”

You open your eyes to see Wonwoo grinning dopily at you. “You’re cute,” you poke at his cheek, and he laughs quietly. Seokmin used to be afraid of him, he had confessed to you, and you wonder why, because the Wonwoo you know is so soft, so loveable, so goofy and cute. 

The Wonwoo you know is shy and awkward and doesn’t quite know how to fit himself into social situations. He’s clumsy and absentminded and needs someone to take care of him, to dote on him and give him attention.

The Wonwoo that you know, you’ve known since you were in second grade, standing over the boy you had knocked over with a rubber kickball, staring at him as he sniffled on the woodchips and glared at you through big watery eyes. That day, you decided right then and there that this boy would be yours, and now…

“Wonwoo,” you blurt out without thinking, “I’m in love with you.”

His breath catches. Wonwoo pauses, digesting your clumsily delivered confession, and then he makes the most awful expression you have ever seen on him.

It’s raw hurt, sharp, painful. His mouth twists and his brows furrow and he looks at you like you’re something to be afraid of. You hate it. You hate that you’re the cause of it, that he’s feeling this, whatever it is, because of you, even though you’re not sure why.

“Really,” you insist. You reach out to grab his hand, but he pulls away from you. “It’s true. I’m in love with you.”

You hear a sharp intake of breath. “You’re not,” he says. “You’re in love with Mingyu. You’re happy with him.”

“I’m not… I’m not in love with him,” you try to explain, but your liquor-numbed lips are clumsy and you trip over your words. You lean towards him, slanting your face up, because you want to kiss him so badly it’s all you can think of. Wonwoo shoves you back, hard. 

“Don’t,” he bites, voice sharp and tense.

“I’m in love with you,” you repeat, reaching out to him, but he pushes your hand back and steps away. Like he’s afraid of you.

“Don’t do it. You’re drunk.” His voice wavers slightly. “Don’t do something you’ll regret tomorrow.”

You shake your head, but Wonwoo looks at you with so much hurt and confusion in his eyes, you can’t bring yourself to argue. “Wonu,” you whisper, reaching out to rest your fingertips on his wrist, “please don’t cry.”

He takes a long, shuddering breath, eyes closed, and then when he exhales and opens his eyes again, his expression is impassive. Unreadable.

“Go to sleep,” he says flatly. “Tomorrow you’ll wake up and go back to your boyfriend, and you’ll be happy that nothing happened tonight.”

He closes the door to his bedroom, leaving you in the darkness.

(Wonwoo is cold.

He’s always a little cold, but in his haste to escape earlier, he hadn’t gotten a blanket or even changed into sweats before closing the door behind him, and now Wonwoo lays on the couch, his feet hanging over the armrest, staring at the ceiling. 

I’m in love with you, your voice rings in his head. Wonwoo’s cheek still burns where you had gently rested your hand earlier. If he hadn’t known any better, Wonwoo might have believed you and given in to his most guilty, far-off fantasy, the one where you love him back.

But Wonwoo does know better. He saw the way you were draped all over Mingyu at the party, the way you giggled into his neck when Mingyu slipped his fingertips under the him of your shirt. Mingyu is good for you, Wonwoo decides. Like you, Mingyu is bright and out-going, popular, well-liked, good at receiving love and gives it readily in return. 

Wonwoo closes his eyes, tries to push away the memory of your body curled into his, and wills his mind into silence so that maybe he can get some sleep tonight.)

You wake up, nauseous and hung over and feeling not at all rested, in Wonwoo’s bed.

Groaning, you swipe at your face, expecting to see a gloopy mess on your fingers, but your makeup has already been removed. You squint at the dim sunlight streaming in through the closed blinds, and you reach around blindly until your fingers close around your phone. 

There’s a smattering of random social media notifications and updates from group chats, but one notification in particular catches your eye.

wonu: i’m outside wonu: where are you? are you ok? wonu: i’m gonna head inside to look for you

You feel your cheeks flush as the memories come trickling back– your drunk texts, insisting that your best friend picks you up, kissing Mingyu, leaving the party with Wonwoo, clinging on to him like a koala…

Gathering your courage and steeling your woozy stomach, you stumble out of bed and throw open the door, poking your head out. Wonwoo is sprawled across the couch, undoubtedly playing some kind of mobile game, when he looks up at you. His hair is sticking up in every possible direction and his shirt is crumpled. “Hi,” he says, expression impossibly neutral.

“Hi,” you grin, waving lamely. “I feel like shit. I didn’t say anything weird or embarrassing last night, did I?”

He raises an eyebrow at you. “You don’t remember?”

You shake your head. “I remember you picking me up from the frat, I think.”

For a split second, he looks relieved. Then, he puts his phone down and laughs at you. “You didn’t do anything embarrassing,” he grins, “except for abandoning your boyfriend at the party because you wanted to play Overwatch with me. C’mon, do you want to get brunch?”

You press your palms against your throbbing forehead. Your brain hurts, and you’re almost sure you half-remember telling Wonwoo that you’re in love with him, but Wonwoo is looking at you expectantly and you’d like nothing more than some french toast and a hot coffee right now, so you shrug. “Sure, lemme wash up and get changed in my apartment first.”

.

.

.

“Dear Cherry, my friend is hopelessly in love with his childhood best friend, who is currently dating a hot frat dude. Should he just give up? The moping is starting to bum me out and I’m worried my hair is going to fall out. Love, Wen Junhui.”

You wrinkle your nose at the message. “And has anybody ever told Junhui that the whole point of anonymous submissions is defeated when he signs his messages with his full name?”

Minghao looks up from the canvas he’s busy splattering paint on. It’s his semester final project, and you had promised to accompany him in the basement of the fine arts building as he works.

Instead of answering, he looks at you like you’re the densest human he’s ever had the misfortune of meeting. “Maybe he’s not trying to be anonymous. Maybe he’s trying to complain about someone we know.”

You squint at your laptop screen. “Who is this supposed to be about, anyways?”

This time, Minghao actually rolls his eyes at you. “Whatever. Have you broken up with Mingyu yet?”

“Yeah, we broke up two days ago. It was mutual, because Mingyu was genuinely afraid that Jeonghan would kick his ass if we said we broke up with me.”

The two of you had made a whole show of deleting all your carefully staged couple photos off your social media accounts, and then unfollowing and refollowing each other within the span of two days, because as the story goes, you and Mingyu had talked it over and are better as friends than as a couple.

“That’s nice,” Minghao says. He unscrews a jar of turpentine and starts to clean off his brushes. “Maybe you should respond to Junhui’s advice submission.”

You groan. “I’ll just tell him to tell his friend to get over it,” you scowl.

“By the way, what’s wrong with Wonwoo?”

“What do you mean?” You look up. Minghao is now attacking the canvas with a palette knife, carving some dramatic impasto into the paint.

“The last two times all of us hung out together, he’s been all…weird.” Minghao wrinkles his nose. “It’s like he’s some kind of guilty dog. He stares at you when you’re not looking, and then he looks away when you are.”

You chew on your lip, work now long forgotten on your idle laptop. Minghao is right. Wonwoo has been different, but not… different. He’s as unwaveringly weird as always, and he’s been texting you links to youtube cat videos and starting arguments on video game theories as always, but it feels like Wonwoo has been aggressively normal. Like how best friends are supposed to be. Light and easy.

“I don’t know. I feel like he’s been acting weird these days too, but I can’t figure out how.”

“You should talk to him,” Minghao says, like talking to Wonwoo about his feelings is easy or something. Or like talking about your own feelings is easy.  

“Or maybe I shouldn’t,” you sigh. Whatever is going on with Wonwoo, you’re just glad he still wants to hang out with you. You’re not entirely sure what you even did wrong, but you’d be willing to beg on your hands and knees for him to forgive you and to stick by your side. “Whatever. We’re gaming together this Friday, I’ll think about it then, I guess.”

.

.

.

“Wonu, I’m scared,” you whine into the mic. It’s another Friday night and the two of you are playing PUBG again. You’re in the endgame now– the original 100 has been whittled down to just 5 players remaining, including you but not including Wonwoo, who had been killed earlier and is now spectating you in-game like some sort of ghost. 

“Just sit tight,” he instructs. In your mind’s eye, he’s leaning back in his gaming chair, arms crossed as he observes your gameplay. 

“There’s gunshots,” you complain, “North? I think they’re hiding by those rocks. It sounds like they’ve got a good sniper rifle, too.”

“They don’t know you’re there. Just let the other teams fight it out. You have enough ammo?”

You huff. “I have like, twelve shotgun shells.”

“And you have the location advantage. Just sit and wait for now.”

You sigh, aimlessly panning the camera back and forth in your anxiety. “Fine,” you agree, because despite it all, Wonwoo is still better at this game than you are, and because you trust him. 

Seconds pass. The audio of distant gunfire in crisp surround sound keeps you on edge and tense, so that when you hear Soonyoung, one of Wonwoo’s roommates, you nearly jump out of your skin. 

“Hey, are you busy?”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo replies. His voice is tinny and quiet, but still clear, like he’s slipped his headset off and mic is pushed away. “I’m gaming with Y/N. I’m muted, don’t worry.”

You’re about to shout and let him know that he’s not actually muted, but your curiosity gets the better of you when you hear Soonyoung’s next words:

“Right, speaking of Y/N, that reminds me. Did you hear that Y/N and Mingyu broke up?”

“Oh.” There’s a pause, and then you hear Wonwoo ask, “why?”

“Dunno. Mingyu wouldn’t give me any details. He said something lame, like that they’re better off as friends, or something.”

“Oh. When did this happen?”

“I think on Wednesday? At least that’s what Seungkwan told me.”

“Hm.”

“Anyways, isn’t that great? You can finally shoot your shot!”

“Are you insane, Soonyoung? It’s been less than a week!”

“Well, okay, fair. But next week? She didn’t seem too sad about it in class today.”

“That’s because she was in class. And anyways, this doesn’t change anything between us, so I’m not going to do anything either.”

“Are you kidding me? So you’re just going to keep it a secret forever?”

“Yeah. I’ll die before I tell Y/N that I’m in love with her.”

Oh.

You sit at your desk, staring at your monitor but not seeing anything. Very quietly, you press your fingers against your lips, as hard as you can, and feel the blood rushing past your ears. 

“I’m not going to ruin our friendship over nothing,” Wonwoo continues.

“It’s not nothing,” Soonyoung replies with a pout in his voice. “You’ve been in love with her for years. Since high school, at least.”

“She just sees me as a friend, that’s all,” Wonwoo sighs. 

Since high school. He’s loved you since high school.

You remember the way he looked at you after prom when he was dropping you back off at home. You had gone with him because the boy you wanted to ask you, some boring soccer player, had asked your friend instead, and Jaehyun had already asked (and been rejected by you) twice, and nobody else had asked you to be their prom date. And Wonwoo, awkward and quiet as he was, had fully expected to skip prom completely, but three days before you had shown up at his locker after school, desperate because you already had a dress and a group to go with and tickets but no date, practically begging him to go to prom with you. And without even thinking, Wonwoo had agreed.

That night, when he drive you home, you leaned your head against the car door with the windows rolled down and felt the wind on your face. At the end, when he parked his car on the side of the street in front of your childhood home, you looked over at him and told him. “I’m so glad we’re going to college together, Wonwoo. I want to be with you forever.”

And he had watched you as you said it, quiet, like he was breathless. Like you had said something terrible and incredible at the same time. 

It’s always been Wonwoo beside you, lazy summers spent playing video games, late night phone calls where you’d talk and he’d listen, after class in his car listening to the radio and eating junk food. Had he loved you then? With ketchup on your shirt and acne across your face and poorly box-dyed hair? And had you loved him then too? Before you even knew what love is?

The weight of it is heavy, settling in your stomach like a hot stone. It almost hurts, how much you feel.

You’re interrupted by a very loud spate of gunfire piercing your eardrums and making you jump,  shrieking loudly as you’re killed in-game. Onscreen, your bloodied character rolls limply down the hill as “Better luck next time! #2/48” flashes on top of your game stats.

“Aw, second place, so close,” you hear Wonwoo say. Then he pauses. “Wait. Was I not muted just now?”

“Wonwoo, I’m going downstairs,” you tell him.

“Wait–” his voice is tight and panicked, but you’re already tugging your headset off and grabbing your keys.

You nearly avoid tripping over your feet as you run to the stairwell at the end of the hall and fly down the two flights of stairs, to where Wonwoo is. By the time you’re banging at their door, you’re out of breath and flushed. You’re not sure if the pounding of your heart is from the exertion or if it’s from something else. Anxiety, maybe. Fear. Exhilaration.

Wonwoo answers the door. He looks exactly like you’d expect, with his rumpled tee shirt and sweatpants and bare feet, his glasses on and his bangs pushed back with the bunny shower headband you bought for him last year.

“Hi,” you grin breathlessly at him.

“Hi,” he replies.

“Can I come in?”

He takes a deep breath, like he’s steeling his nerves. “Yeah.” He opens the door wider and steps aside to let you in, and you follow Wonwoo to his room.

It’s dimly lit with the rainbow glow of his gaming setup and the ready screen for PUBG still up on one of his monitors. Wonwoo flicks on the overhead light, which throws the room into sharp relief. The sudden brightness makes everything feel more real, somehow. 

You sit on the edge of Wonwoo’s bed and pat the spot net to you, which he takes. “Wonwoo,” you say.

Wonwoo purses his lips. “How much of that did you hear earlier?”

“All of it,” you chew the inside of your cheek, drumming your fingers against the bedspread. 

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out. “You can pretend I didn’t say any of that.”

“Did you mean it?”

“Huh?” He stares at you with wide eyes.

“What you said earlier.” You pick at a loose thread poking from the hem of your shirt. “Did you mean it when you said you’re in love with me?”

He hesitates, frowning as a conflicted expression briefly flashes across his face, eyebrows drawing together. 

“Wonwoo?” You call his name gently to get his attention. “I’m in love with you too, Wonwoo.”

“I–what?” Wonwoo looks at you like you’ve brown another head. “But, you...  Mingyu?”

You furrow your brows at him. “Mingyu? Didn’t I tell you? We were just faking so he could win that Greek God competition and get free parking next semester.”

“Wait,” he sputters, “so all of that was fake? You were just pretending to be in a relationship?”

“Yeah. I don’t care about Mingyu, I have feelings for you, Wonwoo.”

“You.” Wonwoo takes a deep breath. “You didn’t tell me.”

“I did!” You widen your eyes, adamant. “At karaoke back in October. You, me, Minghao, and Junhui?” It had been after a particularly grueling set of midterms, and the four of you had gone out for some korean barbeque, followed by boba and an extended noraebang session. While Junhui was crooning to an old Cantonese ballad, you were squished on a couch with Minghao and Wonwoo, and the three of you were talking idly about Junhui’s most recent date.

It’s funny, you remember turning and mumbling to Wonwoo, did I ever tell you that Mingyu and I are faking our whole relationship for clout? But Wonwoo hadn’t responded, so you assumed that he didn’t care. Now, it’s looking more like he didn’t even hear you.

“I was asleep,” Wonwoo states in flat disbelief.

“You were asleep,” you repeat slowly.

“It was dark and I was tired. You didn’t notice that I passed out as soon as we dimmed the lights?” He raises his eyebrows as he defends himself, and you bury your face in your hands.

Click. The pieces are all falling in place.

“Wonwoo. I’m so dumb,” you moan. “I run the Ask Cherry column. All those messages from Junhui and Soonyoung. They were about you, weren’t they?”

“Messages? There were more after the first one?!”

“And they were about you being in love with me,” you recall. “This whole time, I thought you liked someone else. Someone who isn’t me.”

There’s a pause. You can hear the sound of Wonwoo’s PC whirring in the background. And then, Wonwoo starts laughing, choked and quiet at first, and then loud, incredulous, almost.

“God,” he gasps between laughs, “we’re both so, so stupid.” And then you’re laughing too.

In retrospect, it’s all ridiculous, this entire situation. You collapse back onto Wonwoo’s bed and laugh until your ribs hurt, and when you turn your head to the side, there’s Wonwoo laying beside you, glasses askew, grinning.

You giggle and reach out to straighten his glasses. “Hi,” you say to him.

“Hi,” he says back, getting up to lean on one elbow. “I’m in love with you, Y/N.”

You feel your smile widen so much, your cheeks hurt. “I’m in love with you, Jeon Wonwoo.”

He looks at you with so much fondness, it takes your breath away. It’s the way he’s always looked at you, you realize, since the two of you weren’t much more than a pair of kids.

“So, now what?”

“Hmm.” You pretend to think. “Can you kiss me about it, then?”

Wonwoo nods, and his hair flops over the bunny headband as he moves his head. “Yeah,” he says, “I think I can do that.”

.

.

.

(Afterwards, a lot less changes with your relationship with Wonwoo than you thought. After all, he was your best friend for much, much longer than he’s been your boyfriend. He still sends you cat videos at strange hours of the night, and he still sticks sullenly by your side during social outings. Friday nights are still game nights, of course, but now it’s mostly spent on your shared Stardew Valley co-op or cuddling in bed while playing Pokemon together. 

But one thing that changes is the kisses. You kiss Wonwoo whenever you can, because you have so much love to give him and not enough time in the day to tell him all the ways you love him. You try, though, to tell him every moment you can that he’s the cutest, smartest, sweetest, kindest, funniest boy in the world, and that he’s the best friend and boyfriend you could ever ask for.

Wonwoo has a harder time with his feelings, but you know, even without saying. It’s in the way that his fingers linger over your hand when he drops you off in front of your classroom, and the way he gives you first pick on all the best loot when you’re gaming together. And when it’s really late at night and the two of you are huddled under the blankets together, listening to the way your heartbeats collide, he whispers it too. “I love you.”

And, Minghao finally admits it. “Fine,” he grumbles reluctantly while the two of you are preparing the upcoming edition of Ask Cherry, “maybe you’re qualified to give love advice after all.”)

[nwjws]

let’s share? - yjw

; pairing - jungwon x gn!reader

; synopsis - in the face of your upcoming midterms, you decide to visit the library to continue your revision. luckily, they had just one copy left of the textbook you needed - but you weren’t the only one who did.

; wc - 1k

; tags - fluff, college au, study date at the library

; warnings - this isn't an accurate depiction of college life bc im not a college student yet... not proofread so lmk if i missed anything!

your shoulder aches as it carries the weight of your bag, full to the brim with books and your laptop.

the cool breeze of october doesn't help you either, hitting your underdressed figure mercilessly. you hadn't anticipated it would feel this cold, so you had opted for just a simple flimsy long-sleeved top and jeans. it was a decision you certainly regretted now.

why does the library have to be a 15 minute walk away? maybe you really should've taken public transport - but that would've taken longer, and you want to make good use of time for your psychology midterm tomorrow.

warmth welcomed you as you finally reached the local library, one that was made specifically for all the college kids around the area; for students like you.

relief filled you as you finally set down your heavy belongings on a table, massaging your shoulder right after.

you look around the huge library as you take your seat, when your eyes land on a cute boy just 3 tables away from you.

you take in the way he's hunched over his own notes, a pair of headphones drowning out all other sound. a dimple appears on his cheek as he makes a concentrated face. you suddenly get the urge to poke it.

maybe i should go to the library more often.

somehow, you manage to pull yourself away from thoughts of your new library crush, and focus on your test tomorrow.

you regret procrastinating for the exam - although, if you hadn't then you wouldn't have gone to the library, and you wouldn't have seen mystery dimple boy. so are you really complaining?

soon, you realise your own resources don't have enough information on a study you needed to learn though, but that's why you came here in the first place.

getting up and stretching, you don't realise how long you had been sitting until you stood up. you immediately start scavenging the shelves for books that might have details of the study you were looking for.

you happen to find one that has a collection of studies and theories on the exact topic and time period, and to your luck, it has the exact study you need! it seems like other students had the same problem as you, seeing as the area where there should've been extra copies of it was empty; you had gotten to the last one.

you turn around to return to your table, but find yourself face-to-face with the very boy you had been eyeing earlier.

"oh, is that the last one?" he asked with wide eyes. they glittered and rooted you on the spot, your heart racing as you got a proper look at his face.

"oh! umm, yeah i think so," you reply after a pause, having to pull yourself out of your reverie.

"ugh, that sucks. i really needed details on schmolck et al," he says, bummed out as he looks down and scratches at his nape.

"no way, me too!" you say in surprise. "you take psychology class too?"

"yeah, i guess we all needed that book for the test tomorrow," he laughs awkwardly.

"well, we could just share the book," you propose. normally, you weren't so inviting, and would come up with a compromise such as taking photos of the pages he needed.

but something about his aura was inviting, and easy to get along with. not to mention, he looked like he was heaven-sent.

"yes please, if you don't mind," he smiled gratefully. you swear your heart just melted a thousand times.

you two get to studying together, whispering easy conversations and helping each other with particular concepts the other struggled a bit with.

after telling him that your weaker point was structuring your responses, he gladly helped you in that area, because he happened to know a cheat code to the best way of doing so.

you learned that his name was jungwon, and took a psychology class at a different time as you, which is why you two hadn't met until now.

he was an amazing study buddy, patiently explaining to you in a way you would understand. his voice was soft and sweet like honey, and helped calm your nerves for the upcoming test. he paid attention to you with those eyes that seemed to hold the world within them.

whenever he shifted closer to you to look at your notes, your skin tingled when it grazed against his hand, the heat rushing to your face.

when the sun had set, you decided you spent the last 6 hours pretty productively, especially with someone like jungwon by your side.

something about him made you feel giddy, like you were floating on air. with him, you think you can do anything.

you wanted to get to know him more, find out what he likes and what he didn't. to give him the same feeling he did to you.

"thank you for today, jungwon."

"no problem," he smiled at you softly.

you two stared at each other for what felt like hours, comfortable silence overtaking your little space. soaking in each other's presence.

"so, i really should go back home and get some sleep. mentally prepare myself for tomorrow, you know?" you tell him, and begrudgingly start packing up your things. he follows you after.

"of course. good luck, you'll do well. I know you will."

you look up at him, feeling like you were going to cry at his reassuring words.

"thank you, i have no doubt you will either."

"tell you what, let's both promise to ace tomorrow's exam okay? and then let's get some ice cream after," he suggests, patting your shoulder.

"in the middle of october?" you raise an eyebrow at him, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips.

"nothing like ice cream when it's cold, right?" he chuckled. "c'mon, i know a good place downtown."

"sounds good to me. is this going to be a first date then or something?" you ask with mock confidence, feeling a little unsure if he was thinking the same. jungown frowned confusedly at you.

"what? wasn't this our first date? a study date?"

you stare at him, and giggle at his cute expression.

"well, if you say so, then tomorrow will be our second."

jungwon smiled at you, satisfied as he waits for you.

"take this, it's cold out," he says, shrugging off his puffy jacket, and handing it to you, before taking your hand. "let's go, i'll walk you home."

; tags! - @wonuslust

[junos-office-drama]

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[anna-scribbles]

hey anna! the wait for kwami’s choice part 2 truly is abysmal and it’s so hard to navigate through the tag with all the leaks about, do you have any fic recs to tide us over until gloob puts us out of our misery?

not only do I have fic recs, I also have way too much to do rn and therefore will spend an inordinate amount of time crafting a detailed rec list for you 😘 (we can also just consider this my 2022 ao3 wrapped lol)

goes without saying perhaps, but ANYTHING by @peachcitt is gold and also uniquely devastating, some of my particular favorites being:

metamorphosis - 97k, enemies, sleepovers, you get it. i'm normal

those benevolent stars - 23k, ladrien thief/prince/soulmates au. what more do I even need to say

chat noir's white french man hit list for feminist purposes - 7k, hilarious and devastating, this fic is a child to me

double dare - 32k, ladrien, absolutely everything. cemented my friendship w/ peach bc I had to scream at her everyday abt it

I thought the plane was going down - 11k, attuned to my tastes specifically, adrinette having a History while on airplanes

@carpisuns also puts out banger after banger like it's her dayjob, specializing in understanding the ridiculous nature of the lovesquare to such a degree and also being the funniest person alive. some of my faves from her are:

tell me something I don't know - 120k, the marichat fic EVER, mar's dissertation on lovesquare and guess what she's right

pink - 14k wip, adrien loves marinette, SOFT

two idiots and a hamster (collab with @botherkupo) - 24k, adrinette roommates, makes me cry laugh

@picayunearts is a goddess on earth. she bends word and image flawlessly to her will. recently she has enraptured me with

final girl - 41k, marichat, au where marinette succeeds in giving up her miraculous to alya in origins. INCREDIBLE marinette character study

@rosekasa invented ladynoir and i'm not afraid to say it. check out everything on her ao3 but just note the following

when things were good - 15k wip, breakup fic/post hawkmoth takedown, has been ruining me in a SPECIAL way

new marinette 12k, post-guardianship memory loss marinette, a classic

like poles of a magnet - 12k, enemies au, hurts my feelings

ya'aburnee - 13k, ladynoir, HURTS ME VERY MUCH. I'VE NOT RECOVERED

@buggachat's fics always feel like i'm attending a course on adrien and marinette's true characterizations explained to me by someone with a PhD in lovesquare and I walk away enlightened. she has an incredible gift for storytelling and just Getting It. anyway read

maintaining a professional distance - 43k, ladynoir hotel room shenanigans, god-tier characterization

when you're near 10k, ladynoir dating but adrinette have never met, a classic

@sha-nwa should honestly quit her career and write lovesquare fanfiction for me full time. proof:

the way I loved you - 68k, marichat break up fic, will be cemented into my mind forever

photograph - 1k, sweet adrinette, abby loves making me cry

things WOULD be amiss if I did not mention @officialratprince (carolinaa on ao3) bc their fics derailed my homework schedule on several occasions last semester, though I'll be honest that their fics are not for the faint of heart or those who wish adrien agreste to have a good time. my faves are

I will take it / it can't go wrong series - 3 fics at 16k, 25k, and 39k, adrien's journey through experiencing child abuse and his friends being there for him, culminating in gabriel's court trial

home sick - 14k wip, adrien gets pneumonia and Everything Is Really Bad

other various fics I love for various reasons:

how hawkmoth got his groove back series by @agrestenoir - 2 fics at 3k and 1k, one of my favorite crack fics i read last year. had me crying laughing

1 step forward, 3 steps back by agnes writes - 10k, breaks my heart every time I read it. also makes me legitimately angry at adrien while still keeping him in character which is a feat in and of itself

the last day on earth by reiaji - 10k, chat blanc keeps happening as marinette gets older, I am incapable of not recommending this fic

okay now go forth and don't do your work<3

[punch-love]

Could you give us some of your fic recs as well? 🙏🏼

I've been waiting for this ask. * is for all time favorites.

Classics/Required Reading:

Between Apollo and Arachne. / He is Soundless From Afar. / Blood Sickness. by elastic honey (infernoconcealed)

I got into this fandom specifically because of this author. I think all of their work is incredible but, these three are my favorites and also the first bookmarks I ever made. I like the ways they explore their dynamic, and they often explore darker scenarios between the two of them with a lot of heart and nuance.

How To Get Physical by Wilt

I like their writing as much as I like their art, but this one in particular is a consistent re-read for me. It's a trans Peter written by a clearly trans writer, and it's soft and kind and good-hearted in a way that really, really sells the history between them.

Up to the Sun (Full Speed Ahead, Mr. Parker) by SleepsWithCoyotes

The first AU I really enjoyed and also one of the best. Eldritch horror Wade that goes from a massive tentacle creature to an off-putting mercenary that gets attached to Spider-Man. It's great. The whole verse is great.

for the wrong reasons by orphan_account

This is one of my favorite Wade character studies of all time. He gets hit with a truth serum and ends up at Peter's apartment. It's sad and complicated and perfect, and I've read it more than a few times.

gunpowder and firewood / steel and flint * by periodically_puzzled

This is forever one of my favorites. It's the best first-person POV in the fandom hands down and is just so fucking good. It's got everything, idenity porn, grindr, complicated explorations of emotional manipulation, bromance, and it's so very funny.

Snake Oil by BunsofHoney

This was so good that my writing group chat temporarily re-named our chat after it. Peter is a preacher and Wade is a possessed snake oil salesman. It's very good, and also you will learn something about the 20s as it is immensely well researched.

Blazed (Smoking Weed is Gay) * by GreendaleHumanBeing

This is one of my all-time favorites. Peter is coping with his midlife crisis by being a huge stoner, and Wade has mellowed out and joins him for long smoke sessions. It's very slice of life, intimate, slow burn friends to lovers. It's one of those reads that just feels really, really good and relatable.

Paradise (spread out with a butter knife) by Sarah_Sandwich

A soulmate/slice of life work that really will make you feel something profound by the end of it. I read this one at four in the morning and didn't sleep until I was finished with it. It made me feel something big.

Dog Years by androgynousdouche

This is the only unfinished work on this list but man, is it a hidden treasure. They really build a foundation for the relationship and the intimacy between these two is so....it's really good. I wish it was finished, but even though it's not, I still think it's worth the read.

Porn:

Tip of the Tongue * by TimidTurnip

I think this is probably the work I go back and re-read the most. It's got everything. Peter Parker's insane oral fixation, his inability to come to terms with his own bi-sexuality, homies who are mean to each other dynamics, and worship based blow jobs. It's great. You should read it.

i could show you and stop (don't stop) by jilliancares

I think this is probably two of the most infamous smut works in the fandom but they both really, really deserve the hype. The first is the eating out fic of all time specifically for me but also for a lot of other people and the second is my favorite situational porn.

Meeting Minutes */ Pitter Patter by WhoopsOK

These are hands down the best watersports fics in the entire fandom. I've read the entire tag, I would know. The first has Peter being hit by a truth serum and telling his fantasies to Wade who intentionally does not sleep with him, and it's hot and good dynamic wise. The second is just a very hot scenario where Peter pisses in Wade's mouth while he works behind the counter. Great stuff.

a luxury few can afford by three-fingered (calciseptine)

I love the way this author writes them so much. It's fun and fresh and so good at building up some good old-fashioned tension. It also has some great character study moments inbetween blow jobs (my beloved)

Fucked Up Shit:

she's not going to die today / Songs for the Zombie Apocalypse / Need You Like A Gun To The Head * by (zerospoons_onlyknives)oprime

I also consider these classics/required reading but they are all very dark and go places that fans of the classic dynamic might be surprised by. SNGTDT is the best and darkest soulmate AU you'll ever read. SftZA is not only an incredible zombie AU but also one of my personal favorite pieces of zombie fiction period. NYLaGttH is one of my favorite smut fics of all time and one I often re-read (the title should be taken literally)

twisted, baby by jilliancares

The Peter "adrenaline kink" Parker work. It's dubious and intimate and exhilarating in a way that never gets old.

tap out whenever by periodically_puzzled

also known as "the fic that triggers me so bad that I've never commented on it despite reading it eight times" this is like. One of the darkest works in the fandom, hands down and if you can relate at all with the content, will put you in some sort of headspace. It's excellent. It's horrifying.

Because You're Mine *- WaterMe

I absolutely love this one. It's a sex-pollen turned non-con work that is very dark (mind the tags) but if you want to go there, this is the place to go. I always come back to it and find something new to appreciate. Also the only second person work I've ever enjoyed/felt affected by in the way I think second person is supposed to do. (honorary mention by this author: their Arbor day fic)

Sinking by coveryourheads

This one is hard to describe, but if you're interested in some really nuanced work on sexuality, this one will sit with you for a while. Peter and Wade are in an intense D/s relationship that is both abstract and personal in ways I've never really read about before.

[vee-lociraptor]

@james-spooky had to get out my laptop for this one /pos. im so sorry if you notice the pattern where several of these are indeed written by my mutuals. my mutuals are really good writers i cannot help this. i will not be tagging any of them because im about to be so cringe on main about their work. under the cut because i accidentally rambled

SupposedToBeWriting on ao3 (organchordsandlightning on tumblr) is really good!! she has a very good characterization of both john and arthur (from what i know she usually portrays them platonically) and she describes things beautifully :) i hear really good things about her writing in general but in particular i have bookmarked - A Light in the Dark (set in s1, coma arthur) - alike and together (spoilers for part 29, very much love this one) - The Alleyway Monster (set vaguely part 6) - A Body Divided (crossover with the monstrous agonies podcast, which i do not know, but very silly and i enjoy it)

WordsINeedToGetOut on ao3 (gayghostrights on tumblr) also has great depictions of arthur and john and writes them more as like. not romantic not platonic not qpr but a secret fourth thing. very fun to read. they have some good sfw fic but if nsfw isnt your thing (and it very much is. not mine) mind their tags. - i specifically follow their "a family found and made" series it's. so nice. it's post canon but an au of sorts so there's not really spoilers - what does and does not fit (post-part 43 john doe poem im Very Normal about (i met him because i was being feral about it)) - again. please mind his tags.

dearcaspian on ao3 (lighthouseshepard on tumblr) is an absolutely phenomenal writer and i am not biased about this at all. please trust. in all seriousness his prose reads like poetry it's so nice to get to read it every time. i know waltz already recommended it but take it as peer review because no sweeter innocence is mind altering. i read all like 28,000 words of it at the time in one go at two in the morning kind of mind altering. (visibly shaking) it's. really good - other than that they write really good separate bodies jarthur fic that makes me feral - i dont even have specific recommendations all of it makes me sick. go forth. some of it is on his tumblr go get it. - i LIED a kind of quiet holy makes me more sick than a lot of the rest of it. call me touch starved if you want but i will say that on main

safe_ship_habored on ao3 (izel-scribbles on tumblr) only has a few works and mostly writes dollins at this point but they're really good! i think they've posted some exclusively on tumblr? can't think of anything specific right now but ik i've read the most toothaching john and arthur fluff /pos from them

i don't want to talk about this one. lea's going to see it. im going to do it anyway because it is my favorite malevolent fic and i feel you should know about it. there is a fic and it's on tumblr and it's called when the land was godless and free. it is by percymawce-arts and ananxiousgenz on tumblr. i am insane about it. it is a cowboy au and it is somewhat suggestive (moaning making out sort of thing) but the prose is so so good. the characterization and the way they translate malev characters into a western cowboy setting is phenomenal. it has catholic guilt in it. it has yearning. it's romantic jarthur and if it's not your thing i get it but percy and lea both really cooked on this one. i know i've posted about it on tumblr before. i am so aware that one of the authors is my mutual now lea don't look.

i am rambling so hard right now i have more. im not even done. im so sorry - styrofoamdoor (ao3 and tumblr) has a noel character study on their ao3 account and it's so good and i am thinking about it always. it's set post-episode 40. - ETA, never change by green_tea_and_honey SO silly and goofy and yet. also serious somehow. au where arthur has a phone and john messes around with it - come, wayward souls is also by green_tea_and_honey and i havent read it yet but it IS an over the garden wall crossover and i love that show so much - kiss me better is the only work i've read by SeerOfTime but i hear really good things about their malevolent fic so i will definitely be checking them out in the future

[randompony03]

The Amazing Digital Theme Park

I'm FINALLY ready to share this au with you all!

It took a very long time bc I kept taking breaks from it, but the second episode has me thinking about it again and I finally got around to designing all of the main cast which is what I wanted to do before showing it off!

With that out of the way, let's jump in, shall we?

AU Information

The Amazing Digital Circus is now a theme park! And a massive one at that. This takes a little inspiration from West World (really just premise wise, not so much plot as I only saw bits and pieces since my parents were binging it while they had covid).

Every character interacted with in this theme park is an android. There are several sections in the park itself. Each one has one particular android that is “in charge” of their section and everyone else in it, that's our main cast.

It also important to note that the sections are exactly that. Sections. They are divided from each other. Per park rules, no characters from different sections should interact. This, however, does not mean that park guests are not allowed to discuss a different section with the androids. They are programmed with a certain level of knowledge of the other park sections and are learning ai.

Characters

Pomni

Pomni is in charge of The Kingdom Jokesalot. This section resembles a fairy tale kingdom with characters who are wacky and jokesters, most resembling various clowns. This section also serves as a gift/souvenir shop. There is a “marketplace” with it that has products for guests to peruse and purchase.

Pomni, as a jester character, will poke fun at other characters and sometimes even guests. However, to give a balance, she is a “clutz” so guests are less likely to be disheartened by her jests. While Pomni is in charge of this section, there is a “king” of Jokesalot.

Ragatha

Ragatha is in charge of The Playroom. This section has characters resembling various types of dolls and toys. There are activities park guests can partake in, most of which are some form of children's game. This section also serves as a candy store, as there is a sweets shop within it. Ragatha herself is equipped with candy hearts to pass out to park guests.

Ragatha is a pleasant conversationalist. She's very gentle with guests and well coordinated. The other characters are programmed to come to her with “problems” to allow for a narrative guests can participate in.

Jax

Jax is in charge of Toon Town. This section, as the name implies, is based around cartoons, more so specifically the rubber hose era of animation. The characters mostly resemble animals, but there are human characters in the mix. This section also acts as an eatery, as there are multiple “stores” or “restaurants” within the town where guests may have their pick of meal type.

Jax himself serves as the supposed “main character” of the “show”. He's a prankster and will get into various shenanigans with other characters, often having park guests tag along and be his accomplices. This can vary from spooking “travelers” on a dirt path or helping him steal a pie from the local baker. Jax is programmed to act differently with guests of different ages. Adults he is more prone to tease and pull harmless pranks on. Children he is more gentle with, playing with them and doing things in their presence to keep them entertained.

Zooble

Zooble is in charge of The Museum. This section is focused around arts and crafts types of entertainment. There are different stations set up to engage park guests in different forms of art. There are other characters who embody these different forms. The Museum also has a caricature stand.

Zooble themselves seems very dismissive in behavior. They will roam around the museum, criticizing the works of other characters. When commenting on the craftsmanship of park guests, they speak only high praises. Guests are also given a choice to leave an artwork in The Museum for display, or take it all home with them.

Gangle

Gangle is in charge of Make Believe Theater. This section is all about the performing arts. The characters there are of various types of performer. There are curtains, lights, costumes, makeup and props of all kinds. This section also serves as a costume shop or rental.

Gangle herself is a “director” of sorts. She oversee the performances. Park guests may find her with a “predicament” of missing one or more cast members, which will then lead to her throwing them into the mix. Guests are encouraged to fully embody their roles to the extent they are comfortable with. Gangle will treat guests as her “star actors” and use them as shining examples for the other characters to follow.

Kinger

Kinger is in charge of Board Land. This section is themed around various board games, which all the characters reflect. Kinger is in fact considered as one of four “rulers” in this section of the park. If questioned about the king of Jokesalot, he will acknowledge him with mild curiosity.

Kinger is a gentle “king” by nature and tends to the other characters, though is programmed to be “jumpy” for added comedic entertainment. He is the only Manager Android to have a “spouse” or “partner” of any kind, his being Queenie, the black queen on the chess board.

Caine

He's the first face you see! Even before you enter the park, given he's sort of the mascot. Caine can be found at the park plaza where he gives directions, helpful hints or even just general banter with park guests. It is made out that Caine is the one operating the entire park given he's the one most aware of everything and everyone else.

Caine is very amiable and pleasant to talk to. He's programmed with knowledge of the entirety of the park to be as helpful to guests as possible. He's equipped with maps of the park to hand out if wanted.

Bubble

Bubble can also be found in the plaza. He has a bubble blowing station with tubs of soap and various bubble wands. There is also a bubble blower to have the constant stream. It's simple and peaceful, fun for all ages!

Bubble himself is a little cheeky, but first and foremost is focused on making it fun for guests. Bubble and Caine are “buddies” of sorts and will have banter of their own.

[lies-unfurl]

Hydra Trash Party rec list

It's @tenyearsoftrash's rec day, so I decided to go through my bookmarks and pull out a few of my favorites! Not in any particular order; please make sure to mind the tags for specific warnings.

Sam POV (series) by @appalachianfireflies: One of the first Sam/Steve/Bucky fics I ever read. Found footage and recovery-focused. There's a really lovely, slow building sort of atmosphere here.

Skin Trade by @defilerwyrm: The Winter Soldier learns to trade its body for things that it wants. Great use of the 5+1 format. The oatmeal scene still gets me.

Motions (series) by Nonymos: I don't typically go for modern AUs. But Nonymos manages to perfectly transpose all the key elements and characterizations of CA:TWS into a contemporary setting, blending explicit trash with one of the best recovery fics I've ever read. I cannot see pool balls without thinking of this story.

A Prelude in Ice by aleberg9: This is technically a WIP, but the chapters all work as oneshots. Really fascinating portrayal of Bucky and the Red Room, plus some fantastic young Natasha moments.

Multiple Subcutaneous Hemotomas (series) by @a-social-construct: Sam/Steve/Bucky, navigating relationships post-retraumatization. The end scene is one I still mull over.

pictures came with touch by Nonymos: I'll take "Fics that cater perfectly to my id" for 2000. Bucky being simultaneously touch-starved and touch-averse.

For Science by @clucku and @mumble--bee: Truly one of the Sam/Bucky HTP fics of all time. Forced to do it, forced to watch, forced to have things done to them. The sequel is also great.

And, last but not least, three fanworks which okay, were created specifically for me and which probably say way too much about my psyche, but which everyone else who's into this should still enjoy regardless:

Mindbeast by @defilerwyrm: Brilliantly original Bucky/Creature fic that's trashy, but also like... not as trashy as it could be. It passes the Harkness Test, I swear!

Please by @thefilthiestpiglet: Found footage AND recovery AND touch starvation AND developing relationships. I'm in this picture and I like it.

The Ties that Bind [ART] by @callmekayyyyy: Beautifully detailed post-HTP art that lets you imagine a story all on your own.

[jinzouactor]

do you have any other fic recs? for shimamine in particular but also for claw chatacter in

boy do i!!!!! sorry this one's been sitting for a while. did u forget to finish the ask perhaps.

i'll start with one someone showed me today: One Who Keeps the Promise (wolffy03) Doesn't have any pairings, it's a Minegishi-centric post-Claw thing. It's originally in chinese but the author has provided a translation. I really enjoy the tone and the attitudes of the characters. Minegishi being cursed by Mogami is such a cool idea.

Cluttered Spaces (beefstatic) Left a lasting impression on me. Shimamine slowburn. I love the tone and it's so well written. Some cool scenes and headcanons (minegishi having a motorcycle 'o'??) and it was clearly written with passion, I'm so fond of it

Superposition (LivGrapefruits) Also a Shimamine seminal work. this is an ult classic to me tbh. It's a slowburn and I love to see how their relationship develops. It still has a powerful impression on me. Liv has been a rly prolific writer for Shimamine and all of it is gold so it's hard to choose any specific ones from the whole lot, but some favourites of mine are: > Deliverance > all of Encyclopedia Botanica vol. 3 > Ivy

Good_beans is another pillar of the ao3 tag. They have such a skill for being tender in their writing and I'm really weak to that. Ones I particularly recommend are: > Don't Leave Me > As Vivid As It Truly Is > Nightmares Again, these aren't just the best ones and you should really check all of them.

There are sooo many other authors who've dropped some great stuff in the tag such as swearizawa / distraitLoser (wrote the first fic in the tag. also happens to be my gf) / Hino (mostly writes hatori-centric which i WILDLY enjoy) / SaturnineMartial / Ace_in_the_Hole (just minegishi-isms) / cursedwurm / shimamine / shinsays and surely more I have neglected to mention

If you're ameanable to reading fic through a translator or can read japanese then pixiv also has a wealth of fics I have slowly been getting through. Some authors I've enjoyed are:

Nagano has a very sweet and innocent take on Shimamine. They are also a really prolific writer who has several novels worth of work. Which is sort of insane, and I need to get through it. A lot of it is a very domestic post-Claw setting.

Kototoru's work is also super cute like this highschool/college AU. All their fics make me soft over Shimamine.

I think Mochiko and Wosashimi tend to write a little darker / more angsty and not terribly romantic? if I remember correctly. They both have a few fics and I remember liking them but I am struggling to think of a synopsis cuz it's harder for me to scan back over their fics </3

[ghoulsbounty]

any fanfic hot takes ?? 👀👀

I'm not sure these are hot takes, but as an avid fanfic reader since the age of eleven, I have a few irks! These are just my personal opinions/preferences and aren't targeted at any one person or intended to offend.

fics without smut are beautiful and valid. fade to black moments are sometimes more sexy and impactful than a smut scene.

that being said, if there is a smut scene then i like it with obscene amounts of description. give me every jaw dropping, filthy detail.

toxic ships in fiction are fun.

i click off a fic automatically if: they use y/n, the new speaker/new paragraph rule isn't followed, and if the fic is one big block of text.

i don't like au's. i've maybe read a couple that i've enjoyed, but generally i find them too ooc.

if an author says that they haven't proofread their own fic, or specifies that they haven't written a summary because they suck at them? automatic eyeroll. if you can't be bothered with your own work, why should i be?

kidfics. honestly so many of them are unrealistic and you can tell people either don't have children in their lives or haven't researched child characters. not every child is cute and well-behaved, and generally, 3 year olds don't sound like philosophers.

leave people's ships alone. i don't understand the audacity that people have to think that they can send abuse to others or reblog/tag posts literally tearing down ships. if you don't like them, don't interact. let people enjoy themselves. use the block button.

your version of a character is valid. headcanons are not canon, they are fun and give an in-depth look at how an author perceives a particular character.

when someone says 'why is no one talking about this?' in reference to something that happened in canon...when literally everyone has talked about it (not fic specific but it irks me)

write what you want to write. read what you want to read. leave the rest alone.

long fics aren't necessarily better. there are some amazing short fics that still stick with me to this day.

it's okay if you haven't received a comment on your fic that you posted literally two hours ago.

i don't mind that my fics have so many more likes than reblogs/comments. i get that it's just how Tumblr is and honestly it's okay. i appreciate every interaction on my fics, but i really love comments for the conversations and feedback. like, knowing what you liked about the fic? how it made you feel? worth everything.

i honestly don't care if your fic is beta read or not it means nothing to me.

it should be more popular/accepted for writers to be tipped for their work. like ko-fi or something similar, the same way fanart is.

writing dialogue in heavy accents. like every word or every other word is accented and I can't understand it. it kills the flow of the fic for me.

[thegoldenavenger]

About... 7k of reverse tropes "nursing home" au inspired by the bingliu server as always. Minor warnings for themes of mortality, elder abuse, controlling behavior, cults (???), and uh less than canon typical violence. Mostly it's funny I hope. Not betad and an outline fic.

LBH volunteers at the nursing home in homage to his adoptive mother who was a nurse there. He's seen as a sweet boy, dedicated and hard working. He is 100% the "statistic that caregivers exert undue influence unto their charge in order to be included as a beneficiary in their will is an error. Luo Binghe who gets included in over three digits of wills and inheritance clauses is an outlier adn should not have been counted."

Mostly bc the folks he volunteers for genuinely like him, but also bc after his mom died, only being in some random grandmother's will helped him survive and start going to college so now he games the system by being sweet and maybe a little manipulative.

Shen Qingqiu is an older gentleman who has been in and out of hospitals and is now recovering in the assisted living center (or something idk). Shen Qingqiu is rich and aloof looking, can be extremely acerbic so a lot of the nurses avoid him when they can. His family, if he has any, do not visit.

Luo Binghe has time and holes in his schedule so he starts feeling out how receptive sqq is. His other target is the old palace master, who is also very rich and old, but less acerbic. Lbh has already started on OPM and he's very friendly but he also has like a billion grandkids who lbh low key has to compete with. OPM seems to favor lbh anyway, but lbh doesn't see any harm in befriending someone a little lonelier just in case.

LQG only meets sqq by mistake. Maybe he's looking for somewhere to house one of his relatives, or maybe he's tagging along to visit a friend's relative. Maybe he has to do volunteer hours for a course he's taking. Whatever it is, he and sqq come into contact. Sqq finds out lqg is [doing something badly that sqq has experience in. Like, idk getting a relatively low grade in literature] sqq immediately picks on this bc he is a terrible gremlin who likes being mean. Lqg, not really beholden to etiquette or respect for old people, fires back.

They get in a very, retroactively, embarrassing verbal spar. Sqq is very haughty and clever, teases out what parts lqg is struggling most with, gives backhanded advice, and mostly enjoys winding lqg up.

Lqg, for his part, is never really challenged in this specific way ever. A) He respects the older people actually in his life bc they deserve it (hmm do they haha) so he just like. Nods when they scold him. B) He usually excels at what he does so he doesn't get chastised often. C) when he doesn't excel he's eager for pointers which are given to him bc he is a martial prodigy everyone wants to nurture except for D) when he's underperforming in the soft arts. He isn't stupid, but no one expects him to be good at poetry or reading, so when he struggles with dyslexia or too literal thinking no one really bothers to help him. So this is like amazing for him.

LBH walks in on the tail-end of the fight, is APALLED, and physically escorts lqg off the premises. Literally picks him up and yeets him out the door. (It's a double KO for lqg who wanders off dazedly) LBH has been trying to get sqq to open up for like weeks now, and he didn't know sqq cared so much for that particular topic, which LBH knows a lot about. So LBH tries to engage with sqq that way. Sqq is perhaps a little more receptive but still taciturn and kind of mean about it.

LBH's endless well of patience finally runs dry, he calls sqq a mean old man, and sqq finally laughs at him. Lbh storms off, upset he got upset and ruined his image and chances of getting into sqq's inheritance probably. The staff and other residents are furious at sqq bc NOONE has ever made lbh upset before, how dare he singe their precious cinnamon roll of a white lotus binghe.

Turns out, the meaner lbh gets, the more crotchety old sqq actaully likes him.  He sees right through lbh's sheep act, is pretty wary that lbh is cozy-ing up to him bc he's about to die and his money and estate might as well go somewhere, and also hates that lbh just lies down and lets anyone walk all over him to seem mild and tender. He's a human person, not a chicken nugget, sqq thinks he should grow a spine and take what he wants and also stop hanging out with literal Cult Leader OPM.

Lqg mulls over sqq's advice, such as it is, applies it, and does a little better then expected. Everyone is shocked and congratulates him (as if the miniscule amount he's improved deserves that) and then tells him to relax and not over exert himself in areas he's not suited towards / doesn't need in life. He is increasingly upset with the people he has around him and goes back to the assisted living center, figures out that they really dont let just anyone walk in and starts a commotion at the front desk.

He can't even say he's there to visit sqq bc he doesn't know his name and saying he wants to visit "the shameless, underhanded, mean old man in green" was probably not the best way to get a visitor's badge...

Lbh is helping sqq take a walk around the center for exercise, sqq bitching the whole time, so they come across lqg making a fuss. Lbh squares up to Remove The Problem, but sqq elbows him out of the way and power walks over to lqg like he wasn't just complaining of a bum hip three seconds ago. He stops half way and switches smoothly into Refined Older Gentleman Strolling mode, with his hands primly behind his back.

LBH is so mad, and also curious so he just watches.

When LQG finally clocks that sqq is approaching he points a very rude finger at him and says "that guy! I'm visiting him!" To the receptionist.

Everyone shuts up, even sqq pauses. He wanted to get in a fight again (lbh has loosened up a tad and will verbally spar with him but he doesn't lose his temper and the sparring is more complicated and maybe a bit more bitter than the uncomplicated win sqq is assured he'd get over lqg) (yes. This man is mad he can't bully lbh more effectively, he's an awful dude ajakskdkdldl) but he wasn't expecting lqg to come back for him. He thought lqg might be here for whatever reason he was here last time.

The receptionist glances at sqq, like... "him? Really?" And sqq sniffs and imperiously waves his hand. "It took you long enough" he says "hurry up and check him in" he orders the receptionist who thinks very hard about calling security before deciding sqq deserves whatever mess he's getting into and hands lqg a visitor badge.

Lbh awkwardly follows them, unwilling to leave them alone when he JUST got sqq to regularly (yell) talk to him. For some reason, sqq's verbal acidity and berating is... well, lbh likes it more than OPM's friendly smiles and incessant little gifts. Like hell he's gonna let some random guy piggy back off his hard work.

Lqg doesn't waste time. He slams his [idk. Test. Essay? Reading report????] Down in front if sqq and crosses his arms.

Sqq stares at it and then at lqg. Lbh sneaks a glance too and makes a face. Sqq says "It was clear at first glance that you were an idiot but I did not know it ran this deep." He reluctantly picks up the paper and flips through, with a face like he's watching a train wreck.

Lqg growls, tense. He hasn't sat down and his hands are white knuckled against the table between them. He leans over sqq almost threatengly, steely gaze watching sqq's every minute change. "Is it hopeless, then?" 

Sqq's expression twitches as he keeps going through, line by line. He recognizes a lot of the mistakes LQG has made, diagnosis him with dyslexia almost immediately, frowns bc he can see the underlying structure lqg is going for but can't execute.

Lbh comes around sqq's side and reads over his shoulder. He's sure sqq is going to throw the papers back in lqg's face, which will serve him right. The paper header catches his attention. Maybe it's the teacher's name, or even lqg's name that he recognizes, but he puts two and two together, realizes lqg would be a Very Beneficial Friend to make, and decides when SQQ throws him out lbh will pick up the pieces. LQG is sure to have richer more influential friends that lbh can use... this will be perfect. He can't stay loitering around this place forever, at some point he has to grow up and be successful and honor his mother's efforts to raise him up...

"It's terrible." Sqq finally says, his voice heavy.

Lqg, who has been told to give up trying by everyone around him and has stubbornly insisted on trying to push through, actually slumps down in his seat. If this random old man thinks it's not worth it, if even he, who doesn't know lqg at all, thinks he's too stupid to improve, maybe he really should stop trying.

LBH cannot help his smug smile. Trust in sqq to tear down anyone's walls, now lbh can just follow after lqg, discarded papers in hand, and offer to go over them with him. It's bad but not hopeless, and anyways, lbh is a great ghostwriter. Lqg looks like a dumb athlete, so even if lbh can't improve his brain he can still improve his grades—

"Whoever tutors you needs to be fired," sqq interrupts lbh's fantasy, and takes a red pen out of his pocket. (He carries it around to correct typos in the books people leave lying around. He also writes scathing reviews on newspapers, magazines, charts that nurses accidentally leave unattended. He's a terror. It is policy to confiscated pens from him.) He starts marking the paper up, saturating it in red.

He actually pinches lqg's ear to pull him closer, pointing at a section to ask for clarification. Lqg halting gives it, sqq expands on it, lqg looks confused and extremely out of his depth.

"Make yourself useful and get my notebook!" Sqq orders lbh, waving his hand in lbh's face.

Lbh grimaces but runs to sqq's bedroom and gets the notebook (he hasn't completely fallen out of his white lotus persona just yet). When he hands it to sqq, sqq pulls lqg in for the Lecture of All Time. Lqg goes from looking wary and confused to determined, all furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips.

Lbh stands around and then wanders off to make snacks, determined to insert himself into this (he wants to be useful so badly! He wants someone to expend that much effort on him!! Isn't sqq supposed to be mean? And yeah, he's yelling at lqg and hitting him with his pen or his notebook to make sure he's paying attention, but sqq is supposed to be making him cry! Not helping him!!!) when he comes back he sets a plate of light finger foods down by sqq's elbow.

Sqq's hand automatically reaches for one and eats it. He pauses his whole lecture to chew. Lbh is unaccountably nervous for sqq's reaction. Sqq's reaction is rather a non reaction. He doesn't comment on lbh's food. But he eats more of it when he continues lecturing lqg and when lqg fails to come up with an answer he points his pen at lbh instead.

Lbh immediately replies, answering perfectly (of course) and sqq nods decisively, awarding him a point. Lbh grins, and lqg hisses "show off" decidedly not under his breath. Lbh responds in kind and the two start in on each other, lqg itching to do something he's confident in and lbh riding high on the one (two!! In sqq's book not taking the moment to spit vitriol is practically praise!) Bit of affirmation sqq had bestowed

Sqq gets tired of them yammering and kicks them both out, telling lqg to stop by again if he's up for getting his brain wrung out like sponge.

Lbh has never been kicked out before so he doesn't really know what to do and ends up wandering after lqg. So what, his plan to comfort lqg kind of... never got off the water, and also the guy keeps shooting wary glances at him, lbh will just annoy him into letting him around lqg's friends and connections. Also, seeing lqg riled up is really making lbh's chest glow. There's no reason to split ways now.

Lqg finds suggestions written in bold all throughout his papers. "Request materials reprinted / displayed in different font" "get a line reader" one note is just a web address. His watch buzzes, and it's time to go to the gym.

Lbh is STILL following him, so lqg tells him to buzz off. Lbh, who isn't blind and can see the gym bag lqg is holding says he is also going to the gym. Lqg points out lbh's lack of gym bag and gym clothes. Lbh says it's lqg's fault for getting him kicked out of his volunteer job early.

Lgq maybe feels a little bad about that so he lets lbh tag along after him. He has to make a stop at his apartment instead of going straight to the gym like he wanted to, in order to throw some spare clothes at lbh, and then they both go to the gym where lqg gets to vent [gestures to all of it]. He's actually feeling pretty damn good! He's got things kind of worked out! Sqq is mean, but he's forcing things into lqg's head that no one has bothered to do before. Lqg isn't like... going to pursue the arts or anything, his family has his future lined up for him already and he isn't particularly interested in the arts. It's just that he wants to prove, if only to himself, that he isn't Just a dumb strong guy.

Meanwhile, lbh's jaw is on the ground. How high can lqg kick? How flexible is he????? How much can he dead lift????????? That's more than lbh weighs!

Lbh is strong but not especially trained. So like, yeah he can throw lqg over his shoulder when the guy is distracted but he's suddenly hyper aware that he might not be able to if lqg was actually fighting him.

He asks for a spar and he learns Very Quickly that, yes, that was indeed an exception... lbh holds his own surprisingly well for someone who isn't trained, lqg is very reluctantly impressed. Lbh ends up flat on his back gripping a Sports Drink(tm) for dear life reconsidering all his plans

So this is how it goes: lqg visits sqq three times a week for the most violent cram school imaginable. Lbh volunteers daily still, spends less time with OPM and more time nagging sqq and following after lqg's gym visits. Sqq is surprisingly content beating knowledge into such a meat head kid, and smug that lbh is dropping more and more of his goody two-shoe act in favor of getting into fights with lqg and debates with sqq.

Lbh enjoys figuring out what snack foods both sqq and lqg will eat; They are both surprisingly picky over food. Sqq likes things that are clean, light, delicate. Lqg eats things that are protein heavy,  clean, and healthy. It's more of a challenge than lbh thought it would be, and a little frustrating when he finds something that one of them likes but the other won't eat.

(Lbh spends an inordinate amount of time on some tanghulu and tea cakes to go along with a high quality tea... sqq practically inhales his portion, praising lbh's tea with more genuine words than he usually does. Lqg makes a face and tells lbh he doesn't eat that much sugar, but they look very nice. The face he makes is sort of resigned)

Lqg keeps improving in his classes. Enough so that one classmates (Mu Qingfang) asks him if he wants to go on a field research trip with him. It's mostly a camping trip, Mqf would deal with all the fiddly bits, but it seems like something lqg would like, mqf says offhandedly.

Lqg mulls it over, brings it up to sqq and lbh the next time he sees them. Sqq is interested in mqf's topic of research and sort of encourages him to go just so sqq can also get in on it. (Lbh watches like 80 year old sqq try and teach lqg how to use the video call function on lqg's drastically unsexy phone)

Lqg goes on the trip.

Sqq and lbh both adjust fairly badly to not seeing lqg like they're used to.  Sqq is surprisingly lonely and takes it out lbh.  Lbh relishes sqq interacting with him more but misses lqg anyways. Without lqg's tutoring lbh goes back to his regular volunteering routine, which means he's back to spoon-feeding OPM

Opm has Not been Happy about lbh spending less time with him. Opm is like, a literal Cult Leader and has been trying to snare lbh for himself this whole time. At first, sqq's abrasiveness seemed perfect, like he'd drive lbh deeper into opm's clutches, but somehow that did not work out. With the addition of lqg helping bridge that gap, lbh seems to be getting further away

Opm pulls some strings, has his dear grand daughter (LPM) start flirting with lbh, and GYX try and take up sqq's time. He also makes a few calls bc he recognizes lqg's family name at least.

It all comes to a head very suddenly.

LQG's family find out he's spending a lot of time is SQQ's care, ducking out on his other responsibilities (he has just rescheduled his time... lqg would never disrespect his family by ditching his other classes and what have yous, but it's all the same to them) that he went on mqf's  camping trip without consulting them, potentially putting himself at risk for injury or sickness or whatever. They're pissed.

Lqg tries arguing that he's literally just getting tutored for his grades and he should be supported for that. He's trying to balance his mind and body, and they should respect that. Instead he gets told that he's undermining their plans for him, being disobedient and willful when he should be grateful he has the chance and privilege to be training for his martial dreams (blah blah blah)

He's thoroughly dressed down and forbidden from visiting the home

Lqg gets increasingly angry and has no idea why he's being punished, because he hasn't dropped any skill he has, and is only trying to improve himself. Honestly, it's starting to feel more and more like committing to the nebulous martial arts / professional athlete career his family is grooming him for is increasingly like stepping into a gilded cage. He enjoys honing his body and competing and it is absolutely killing him that he's getting so torn up about it now.

Literally his only respite is hiding in his baby sister's room and reading stories to her. She loves when he reads to her and she thinks her brother is the smartest person in the whole world.

Unfortunately for sqq and lbh, lqg seems like he drops off the face of the planet. He just stops making video calls with sqq (phone is confiscated) he doesn't show up to his next scheduled cram session (grounded) he just disappears. Sqq idly thinks that he broke him and ran him off.

Lbh is a little suspicious. The man he spars with wouldn't run from anything! He'd definitely tell them to their face when he was done. Probably. Unless lbh scared him off some how? Maybe lqg got tired of lbh stalking him (dropping in on him at the gym, figuring out where his classes were so he can stop by and walk to the assisted living place together, etc) all the time? Maybe... lqg found out lbh was trying to use him to social climb? (Lbh mostly stopped planning to do that the moment lqg laid him flat at the gym but!!! Maybe lqg picked up on something anyway)

Meanwhile, lbh keeps having to fend off LPM, sqq is getting a little annoyed with GYX, and lqg is not sure how he's grounded when he is a whole ass adult... sure he doesn't actually have a job bc he has literally never needed one in his life, but he shouldn't Have to sit quietly and listen to a lecture that boils down to "You're whole life is planned out for you, don't even worry your pretty little head about it."

The OPM is getting anxious bc even without lqg, sqq and lbh seem to be commiserating together. He's in the middle of another Grande Plan to separate the two when they get in a shouting match in the middle of the rec room.  It blew up so quickly no one really got an earful except gyx who was nearby and respectful declines to share, but LBH storms out determined and angry.

OPM is very pleased bc surely that young man will be running to opm now, for comfort and guidance! And opm can guide him straight into his cult's clutches!

Lbh does Not run into OPM's open arms.

He cools off and the next day is back to following behind sqq like a lamb, reflexively making enough finger sandwiches for three and then making sad eyes until sqq eats one more. So OPM plays his cards.

A dapper young man in a suit and a young woman dressed just as nicely show up one day and just, check sqq out of the home.

LBH shows up as the young man is pressing sqq into a wheel chair to cart him off. The woman is holding sqq's coat and is smiling at him, obviously happy to see sqq. Sqq is very Not Happy.

He keeps trying to get out of the chair, keeps telling them to go away and leave him alone, etc etc.

Lbh interrupts them inserting himself in between them and sqq in the chair, creating space. He demands to know who they are and what they're doing, but approaches it cautiously and from the angle that he is oh so concerned with sqq. 

They introduce themselves and Qiu Haitang and Qiu Jianluo (obviously ahsjdk) who are sqq's only living relatives and they've been looking for their grand uncle for months now after he disappeared from his estate. They are oh so glad he's been well taken care of but it's time for him to come home and have the best care money can buy!

Sqq shakes his fist and accuses them of just wanting his inheritance. QHT is offended by the idea, obviously just misses sqq and worried about him, but lbh sees QJL's calculating gaze before qjl waves off sqq's accusation and says sqq must be going stir crazy cooped up in this little home

Lbh can't really do anything to stop sqq from leaving, but he gives his business card to qjl and has to just stand there and watch sqq get dragged away.

OPM edges up to lbh like "look! I am old and in need of attention!" And lbh reluctantly and kind of mechanically goes through his volunteer checklist now that sqq is gone.  Opm takes his chances and tries edging closer to lbh, taking advantage of his obvious poor state.

Meanwhile lqg is starting to chafe under his new restrictions.  He usually likes his routine but it turns out not having any choices really saps the enjoyment out of everything. He takes to bothering his little sister more and more often, growing much closer to her as he isolates himself from the rest of his family. He is just so tired of everyone telling him how great at this one thing in his life he is. Like there's no other choices for him.

It's not like he wants to abandon the life plan his family has laid out for him; he doesn't want to be a scholar, or a scientist, or a poet. He just doesn't like the one dimension everyone has cast on him. He is so, so close to believing he's only good for the one thing and nothing else matters and he really doesn't want to fall into that mindset.

He misses how hard sqq pushed him, and how teasing lbh is. They're both good for him, he thinks. He's known no one else like them in his entire life. Elders are meant to be respected and listened to, and peers, if he had any, were for him to defeat.. he was never encouraged to talk back or think quickly enough to parry one of sqq's spearing little snipes, and has never been allowed to take pride in something as simple as a clever turn of phrase. And no one can keep up with him, so having LBH repeatedly dog his footsteps, improving leaps and bounds just to match him is exhilarating and he misses it.

He thinks about skipping out on leg day to make a visit.

OPM is definitely taking advantage of lbh's sudden unstable headspace. Unfortunately for lbh, he never really processed the grief of his mother passing. He kind of has been low key retraumatising himself by getting old people to love him enough to include him in their wills and then Die on him, but it's totally fine because he has SUCH a tight hold on his emotions that these deaths don't really affect him. Really! There's nothing triggering about being repeatedly left behind. :)

And now he's formed genuine bonds with lqg and sqq against all expectations and they've both left him! And he can't do anything about sqq bc sqq isn't his family or legally bound to him in anyway that he could stake a claim against blood ties, even if he suspects qjl at least of ill intent. And lqg just abandoned both lbh and sqq, so. So.

Opm kind of takes the opportunity to feed into these paranoias and pent up emotions, definitely trying to get lbh to associate opm with some kind of stability. Lbh even goes with opm on a home visit to [Huan Hua Palace analogue] where he's very briefly tempted to join an actual Cult so his problems go away

Luckily someone says something—maybe omp says something a little too reveling, or lpm let's something go that she's not supposed to, or gyx (who genuinely grew to like sqq for some inexplicable reason) gives lbh a stealth hint—and lbh realises that maybe he can't do anything about sqq (yet) but he can definitely track down and wring answers from lqg.

Lbh runs to the gym lqg frequents. Lqg is not there, so lbh tracks him down. (Boy has Stalker in his blood unfortunately)

He finally runs into lqg at a different fancy training gym lbh has to sneak inside of.  He confronts lqg, who seems surprised but not upset to see him. Mostly confused bc lbh is so upset. (His family didn't know? About lbh? So he's not grounded from lbh or even sqq specifically, just the assisted living place.)

Lbh comes off hot, demanding a lot of answers from lqg, who honestly tries to give them, but lbh really isn't in a great headspace and lqg isn't either so it turns into a graceless fight pretty quickly. Lbh is not dressed for a spar, but they tumble across the mats anyways. Lqg doesn't hold back and neither does lbh, who has been learning startlingly fast from lqg so they both end up in terrible condition.

Lqg is finding it kind of cathartic, bc lbh isn't caring about pulling punches or making sure lqg is in top form, and he sure as hell isnt above baiting him with words either.

Lbh is just finding it very nice to actually let lose and not act like a starry eyed little lamb to keep everyone on his good side. Obviously, lqg doesn't like him as much as he thought or he wouldn't have left so it's fine to let everything go

They kind of beat each other into the ground and they're both lying down staring at the ceiling, catching their breath, when lqg finally manages to explain his phone got confiscated and he hasn't been allowed to visit and he bombed that test he was supposed to take, but he did grab a copy of mqf's essay for sqq

And then lbh just bursts into tears

Lqg is frozen, completely unsure of what he said that caused that reaction.

Haltingly, lbh explains that after lqg stopped showing up, sqq's grand niece and nephew took him away probably to get their grubby little hands on his estate or whatever (as if they even care about his extensive historical scroll collections!) and that he's pretty sure he's halfway to joining a Cult even and everything sucks now!!!

Lqg sits up and like. Pats. Awkwardly at lbh's shoulder.

Apparently, since lbh visited Huan Hua Palace he recognized some faces that have been low key following him around and bumping into him all coincidental like. Like. The cult-recrution is very serious and lbh is kind of just realizing it now and freaking out more.

Lqg grabs a first aid kit, tenderly helps clean lbh up, drags him to a store to buy some decent clothes that aren't covered in sweat and blood, and then beings him home.

Can't let him go back to an apartment that's being stalked probably.

He introduces lbh to his family as a novice with potential, and lbh's manners are impeccable so they take a liking to him pretty quickly, even if they are a bit stoic about it. Lqg makes up some acceptable excuse to have lbh have dinner and stay over so they can talk more seriously about everything going on. (Lbh noticed that lqg's dinner is different than the rest of the family's)

Liu mingyan is also there, and adorable, and she likes lbh because he makes her brother frown less.

Anyways, lqg leads lbh to a guest room and then sneaks in from like a side window idk, and starts dissecting lbh's rambling again, this time with focus. He comes to the conclusion that there's two major problems here. One, opm's weird obsession with lbh and that Cult. Lbh can just stop volunteering at the center, but since people already know where he lives and have been low key stalking him that is not the only step they'd have to take.

Second, sqq's nefarious relatives trying to take advantage of him probably. They'd have to ascertain that they really are taking advantage and it's not just sqq protesting too much.

Out of the two, lqg decides the whole. Cult thing. Is more important right now. Sqq's relatives probably aren't planning on, like. Killing him early.

(He spares a moment to lament how weird his life has gotten)

Anyways defeating opm just amounts to getting evidence of tax fraud from the cult, which lqg recruits his acquaintance from school for (that's sqh. Sqh is having his own whole side adventure involving mbj, lgj, madam meiyin, wqw dealing with inheritance rights and accounting. He is not having fun.) which at least results in mbj princess carrying sqh away from lqg and lbh when sqh throws them all the paperwork for proof of money mishandling.

Opm goes to jail, the Cult is dismantled, lbh and lqg aren't even involved so risk of retaliation is very low.

During this lbh gets to come to terms a little more with his unresolved grief and the mortality of those he loves. He has several conversations with lqg about it, in oblique and acute ways. Lqg is straightforward, and hasn't encountered death as much as lbh, so his opinion is mostly that things happen when they happen. You can't avoid it, you just have to avoid having regrets. Which in turn makes him seriously reconsider just going along with his family's plans for him.  Yeah he was fine with it, but he'd been incredibly lonely and unfulfilled. He thought all he needed was improving himself, but with how close he is now with lbh, he realises  that he was seriously close to never having a friend other than his little sister.

He decides to take his own advice and not let others dictate his life.

This causes a fight with his family, of course, a huge blow out. Lqg insists that he's capable of doing the things he wants to do and handle his own schedule. His family cuts him off as like, a lesson in self sufficiency. If he doesn't appreciate them and their guidance then he can go it alone. They obviously think he'll come crawling back when he realises he has to work or something.

He can't afford his apartment (his family owns it but they tell him to fork up rent or figure it out)

Lbh graciously offers his apartment.

There's a mini arc where lqg adjusts to peasanthood. Lbh helps him get a job, lqg struggles to balance that AND training AND school, but he's always been a hard worker so he figures it out. Lbh insists on doing all the cooking when lqg reveals he knows how to make like three meals, and they don't even taste good. (They're calorie efficient and high protein)

Lbh goes back to volunteering bc that's... kind of a huge chunk of his time. It's his hobby. But he spends a lot more time with lqg which helps him regulate his emotions and stuff surrounding. You know. Dying.

Anyways, it's thanks to this that they get a lead on sqq! An older gentleman tries checking in at the visitor center and lbh would ignore him but he overhears sqq's name and comes wandering over.

"I just wanted to visit shen qingqiu. If possible."

"Oh, he's been checked out by his family for a few weeks now."

The man turns away, dejected, and lbh pounces on him, offering to escort him out of the building. Lbh asks him how the man knows sqq, why he wanted to visit, etc etc.

The man's name is Yue qingyuan. He was a childhood friend of sqq's. They were separated and he's been trying to get back in contact. He doesn't want any regrets. Lbh has a very nice and long conversation with the man, and they exchange numbers.

Lbh is excited to tell lqg the news and they both end up calling yqy to set up a coffee date later on.

They tell yqy about the qius and he corroborates their ill feelings and that sqq was never really close with the qiu branch of the family. Yqy knows where sqq's estate is and the qiu's family home, so he and lqg and lbh decide to make a visit.

Sqq, predictably, is pissed at yqy. (Do we get sqq and yqy's backstory here? No. Sqq herds yqq to a private room to yell and cry at him. That's for them. Idk if it's very obvious but sqq here is a mix of shen yuan and shen jiu so hes terrible but like in different ways)

Lqg and lbh awkwardly kind of stand around while that reunion is happening when they over hear qjl's conversation over phone with someone. They decide, you know, fuck it, might as well eaves drop. QJL definitely says something super suspicious and incriminating.

They go back to interrupt sqq and yqy when it becomes clear qjl is headed in sqq's direction. They give sqq the heads up, sqq admonishes them both but is CLEARLY touched  that they both were concerned about him and came after him. 

Qjl's plan is to get sqq ruled unfit and appoint qjl or qht as the trustee or whatever which means the qius will basically have all the access to sqq's money and estate before he even dies.

Sqq tries to outmaneuver him by preemptively disowning the qius from his heritance, but things do get tied up legally speaking. QJL and QHT say that sqq is unfit and old and obviously being taken advantage of by one of his caregivers from when he was recovering from a hospital visit. (They still have lbh's card and try to slander him Liberally)

Lbh does have to face and acknowledge his manipulative ways, at least in private to lqg and sqq and yqy. Sqq laughs, saying he KNEW lbh wasn't the sheep he pretended to be. That's fine, sqq likes wolves better anyways.

Lqg, after all their conversations about lbh coming to terms with his grief and trauma kind of assumes it's a little more nuanced than trying to just dig gold out of old people. Like, it was more of a coping mechanism where lbh was receiving tangible rewards for being in someone's life, assuring that even if he kept being left behind he was being rewarded as well?

Yqy decides that at the very least lbh cares genuinely for sqq so the rest doesn't matter, but his track record is maybe not the best to be involved with advocating for sqq Not Being manipulated and also probably shouldn't be in the lime light anyhow as he might get in trouble if any of his uh inheritances are questioned

Lqg on the other hand, is like. Best boy. Tutored by sqq, obviously hanging a genuine mentor/student relationship that can be backed with his grades improving (if sqq can still tutor someone he probably still mentally competant) with a wealthy family of his own, there's very little reason for anyone to suspect lqg of manipulating anyone in any capacity. (Him being cut off isn't like, a formal thing at all. And it's doubtful his family would make a fuss about it if it would harm their reputation as well, but it never comes up)

So LQG goes head to head with QJL about sqq's capacity for self governance. qjl is charming and clever, but lqg is earnest and captivating. Lqg definitely puts to use some of the rhetoric sqq tried beating into his head and is fairly pleased when he comes off as articulate and well spoken instead of awkward.

lqg and lbh eventually convince qht that qjl is not seeing sqq's best interests and she takes their side and qjl's quest to get his hands on sqq's money is squashed.

Sqq decides he wants to travel, hires lbh as an attendant, mostly so he has someone else to yell at besides yqy who insists on following sqq around like a duckling. Sqq hates ducklings more than lambs.  (The trip is for yqy to make various contact with his connections and businesses now that he's found sqq.)

It's lqg's family that begs lqg to stop being so self sufficient and independent. They say they'll give him a bigger allowance, a bigger apartment. He can have cheat days for his diet as long as it's within certain limits! Lmy misses him!

Lqg figures he's made his point and sort of goes back to the family. He still keeps living in lbh's apartment bc someone needs to feed lbh's stupid birds and pay the rent and what not, but he mostly eases back into his previous routine.

Lbh and sqq give him shit about it, like he's backsliding, but what is he supposed to do? There's only so much time he can spend listening to sqq lecture with the time difference, and with lbh gone there's not really anything to do but train like normal.

It's only when lmy comes crying to him bc she's feeling so pressured that lqg realises that probably things aren't ever going to change. His family won't stop pressuring him or trying to control his life and it won't stop with him. He doesn't want lmy to grow up feeling like she can only be good at what their family wants from her.

So he tells his family in no uncertain terms that he is going on a vacation. And he's taking lmy. When he comes back, he won't stand for them pigeon holing mingyan like they did him, and if they want him to keep being such a successful Liu child, and not disown them all outright, then they better get comfortable with lmy chosing her own path.

He ends up calling yqy, who arranges for lqg and lmy to join them in a layover surprising lbh and sqq.

(Sqh and mbj are babysitting lbh's birds and apartment)

Lmy delights sqq, who starts early in teaching her the joys of literature and teasing her big brother.

Lbh is also ecstatic, he really missed lqg. Lqg explains to them the ultimatum he gave regarding lmy, and lbh is displeased lqg is basically bargaining his own future for lmy's.  Lqg shrugs it off, he does enjoy his projected career and he's good at it. It's really enough for him if he family stops meddling in the rest of his life. He's pleased to choose who and what he gets to spend his free time on, and it's doubly worth it if that means lmy gets to be who she wants to be right out of the gate.

Lbh reluctantly agrees with him.

Anyways, they spend like two months traveling around having a great time on sqq and yqy's dime.

Yqy introduces lqg and lbh to a BUNCH of acquaintances, a large amount of which are established coaches and martial artists who take a liking to lqg and lbh.

Sqq spends so much time writing, probably memoirs or something.

Lmy is adorable and starts her own journals AND insists lqg start teach her some moves.

Lbh picks up so many recipes. Since lqg is on vacation that means lbh gets to feed him whatever he wants!!! It turns out, lqg just hasn't tried a lot of things and actually enjoys most of lbh makes. (Lbh is going to riot if lqg goes back on a diet.)

They make a cute family.

So, sqq is free, lbh is a little more grown, and lqg isn't just putting one foot in front of the other any more.

There's still some conflict in their lives... lqg's family is hard to work with but he sticks to his guns. It's a little embarrassing when lmy decides she wants to follow in lqg's footsteps and he wants to give her the freedom to do that but also wouldn't she rather do literally anything else. (She would. She would also like to write). Lbh gets very over protective of sqq and yqy bc they are getting older and more delicate, which ruffles sqq's feathers so much he threatens to write lbh out of the will!

Lbh is like "I'm in the will?"

And sqq is like, "don't be stupid, I paid you on our vacation as a caregiver, that disqualifies you from being a beneficiary."

Lqg is in sqq's will. Sqq figures lbh will marry him anyways at some point (lbh is a hopeless romantic) so it's basically the same thing.

(Yqy did NOT know sqq didn't put lbh in his will. He put lqg in his too! So he wouldn't feel left out!!! And he wouldnt feel pressured to rely on his family forever! Now he's got to get it rewritten for binghe!!!! )

I'm not going to write about sqq and yqy dying I'll cry. So it ends there. Happily.

[erisenyo]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks to @noexoozes for the tag!!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 40!! Though a few of them are drabbles/shorter things from tumblr that I've been slowly porting over, so without those its 32

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 1,638,585 lol holy shit

3. What fandoms do you write for? ATLA! Though I'm thinking about having a go at the Radiant Emperor for @radiantemperorweek if my schedule allows it 🤞I've also been Consumed lately by a particularly pairing of the Game Changers series by Rachel Reid, with a few specific things I'd love to see that were offscreen in the books, so we shall see there as well...

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Love is in the Hair - post-canon established Zukka, one-shot, banter, silliness, identity shenanigans with people not realizing they're sharing political gossip with the Fire Lord

These Things Written - part one of the series that started it all, "what if Zukka was canon", three-part full series rewrite, lots of angst, lots of smut, lots of feels (and technically the next two parts are also on this list, but instead-)

Lessons in Proper Asset Management - post-canon established Zukka, smutty one-shot, Sokka's competence kink vs Zuko being really good at finance, absurdity ensues

Part-Time Plumber, Full-Time Problem - Modern AU smutty Zukka one-shot, based on a grindr exchange about needing a wrench, identity shenanigans, banter, and Mai and Suki absolutely roasting their respective BFFs

Ten Rules For Sleeping With You - canon and post-canon get-together > established relationship fic, all the things Sokka has learned when it comes to sleeping next to Zuko

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes! I am very behind right now, but I appreciate the time and thought people put into them so much, and I love chatting back!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Ohh I love a happy ending, so this is hard. Its probably Darling I Think There's Maybe Something You Should Know, part of my Zukki series where we end with Sokka and Suki realizing Zuko doesn't think they're together, and has been going on other dates.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I love a happy ending, so this is hard in a different way! I'll go with To Be Named, To Be Known (To Be Loved), because ending with a big wedding and laughter just sets a particular mood :)

8. Do you get hate on fics? I wouldn't classify it as hate as much as people occasionally disagreeing with certain characterization, usually Iroh or Katara from the Burning Bright series, and having a lot of feelings about it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Lol you bet I do. And basically all of it? I think the only thing I haven't written technically is f/f and that's just because I haven't had time for my foursome get-together fic yet

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Not yet and I'm not sure I will, sometimes the framework of two stories fits well together, but I tend more toward AUs than crossovers

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! These Things Written was translated into Russian

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Technically Night Call, though that was more like tumblr posting back and forth that suddenly got long enough for AO3 haha

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? I primarily write Zukka, but I have so many favorites! I love Zukki, Jetko is great, my Jeeko longfic idea has had me in its grips for years, there are ships across other fandoms I love to read. I'm a multishipper at heart.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I...don't actually have any of these. I only post thing when they're already finished, and I don't do well writing multiple works at one time, so I tend to just finish things sequentially rather than have a bunch of WIPs floating around. (Ideas that I want to write but may never...that's a whole different question.)

16. What are your writing strengths? I think I'm really good at writing fun smut scenes that still back a lot of emotional punch, and I love dialogue! I also think I'm good at inverting tropes and reader expectations in fun ways to draw out/build narrative tension.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Descriptions, probably. I struggle to make place and people descriptions feel integrated into the next, rather than like clunkily bolted on. Usually I feel like its interrupting the pacing and I end up cutting it significantly back.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I'd be cautious of it if I didn't speak it myself, unless I was trying to represent someone with a similar level of competency, just because there are so many nuances of word choice and sentence structure and translation that would probably go over my head.

19. First fandom you wrote for? ATLA!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? This is impossible to answer! I love them all so much in such different ways. To Open Every Door to Night, To Meet Each Rising Sun will always be up there, writing Azula was so much fun. I think Of Tea and Turtle Ducks (and the Turtle Duck Guy) absolutely knocked the whole overarching metaphor out of the park, To Cleave These Roots We've Made is maybe my best like angst/emotional intensity fic, All Along You Were There (But I Missed It) just delivered on the mood and vision I had so well and showcased this warm romance so perfectly, and I'm really cheating so I'm going to make myself stop there haha

And lets see, tagging @sword-and-stars @spacecasehobbit @ranilla-bean @lizardlicks @hot-flippin-mess and anyone else who wants to play!

[roosterbox]

hey! found your blog the other day and i love it<3

do you have any arthut/eames fic recommendations? i rewatched the movie a week ago and can't stop thinking about them

(sorry about the wait!)

First of all, hey there! Hello! Glad you found me, and glad to know you liked Inception. Hard to believe that it’s still drawing so many people in, 14 years on.

Second of all…

Oh baby. Oh man. Not just fic recs, but A/E fic recs? Yesssssssss my time has come.

First, there are a couple of writers whose entire oeuvre you should definitely check out if you haven’t.

Lolahardy, whose Dreamhusbands work is vast and varied, but here are a few of my own favorites (important note: no links because Lola’s fics are currently locked, but they are easily findable if you have an AO3 account, and you should definitely check out all of them, not just the few I mentioned here!):

In Every Universe - the fic that will never die, lol. So many great A/E stories here, but for me, the biggest draw are the other JGL/TH ships contained within. My personal favorite is Forrest/Evelyn, who I almost love even more than A/E at this point. Also, so many tropes and kinks and whatnot. Safe to say, I’m positive you’ll find a lot of different things to enjoy!

Le Mal Du Pays - this one is just lovely. I reread it again for this rec list and boy… still amazing. The chapters set during canon are so good, it’s like watching the movie again, but with the added bonus of actual A/E in the plot, you know?

Love is Strange - A/E by way of Dirty Dancing! I love it when you can enjoy an AU based on a very specific property even without having seen said property. For example, I adore everything about this fic even though I have never watched DD, not even once, lol.

OneWhoSitsWithTurtles, whose A/E work is never anything less than stellar and beautiful, and regularly makes me cry. Also, they have works in other fandoms that are equally worth checking out!

Christmas Without You (Is a Christmas Not Worth Having) - the best. The pinnacle. If ever you (or anyone else, for that matter) were curious about what my favorite A/E fic of all time is? Here’s your answer.

Dream of Me - This one is just beautiful. A simple little somewhat canon-compliant love story. So sugary sweet at times, it runs the risk of being tooth-rotting. But I’m always willing to take that risk.

39 Days to Fall in Love - the survivor AU you didn’t know you were missing. Seriously, it’s so good it might make you want to watch Survivor if you haven’t already, even if you know there’s no Arthur or Eames in it, lol.

Lullaby - Hands down, the saddest A/E fic I have ever read, and certainly in the running for saddest fic period. Seriously, it’s beautiful and worth reading but don’t go in without some tissues.

The Bumblebee and the Flower who Fell in Love - Also very sad, but so very whimsical and sweet besides. A/E works well in seemingly silly setups like this.

And now, for a few more individual recs. Mind you, a lot of my recs are a bit older - I really need to go back and peruse through the ship tag to find new stuff to bookmark - but hey, something something wine metaphors, lol.

End of the Road - this one is so cool. If you like Mad Max Fury Road and ever wondered what it would be like if you combined it with A/E (sort of) and some A/B/O Dynamics, you can’t do better than this.

Quiet Desperation - a lovely little A/E and 00q crossover story! I would read an entire series of this if it existed.

Next Big Thing - A/E as judges on a HGTV reality show. Classic! The exact kind of fairly low stakes drama I can get behind. No spoilers, but my favorite character is Misty Rainbow. For one scene in particular. If you read it, you’ll know exactly which one. Also I wish this show was real.

The Party - heavy subject matter in this one (heed the tags), but getting through the rough stuff makes the eventual fluffier bits almost extra sweet.

Out of Reach - a recent addition to my ranks, but absolutely beautiful. The emotions are so palpable and heartfelt.

And… would it be completely shameless if I included a couple of mine? I don’t like to toot my own horn too much, but since nobody else ever puts me on their reclists, why not, right?

Darling I’m Killed - my somewhat still ongoing Inception/Bond crossover. There are two sequels, and I have no concrete ideas for more yet, but there’s potential.

(I Would Like To) Paint the Way a Bird Sings - the Paint Shop AU that wouldn’t quit, lol. Still can’t believe I actually finished it. Four ships for the price of one in this fic!

Other inception fandom peeps, feel free to reblog and add any fics or authors you like! Especially more recent stuff because I am such a fandom oldtimer, lmao.

Thanks for the ask! I love recommending fics! Also thanks for the follow!

Happy reading!!

❤️

[scurvgirl]

I was tagged by @energievie and @callivich to answer some fun Gallavich questions!

What’s a fic you’ve read more than once?

There's A Class for This by @sam-loves-seb. It is just so soft and normal and intimate and it just...it hits all the things for me. I love it so much.

What’s a gifset you always have to reblog?

A few scenes - the club kiss and the van kiss are definitely ones I will always want to reblog because they are just so so good. I also love the "you're so sensitive" deleted scene kiss.

What’s a headcanon you can’t stop thinking about?

Mickey exploring his wardrobe options and fashion sense. He clearly has an eye and a feel for it and I think it is something he would enjoy exploring years down the road when he's more comfortable in his identity.

What’s a fanart you love looking at?

All of them, but in particular I really really enjoyed seeing all of the AUgust dress-ups by @suzy-queued, those were so fun, I love them.

What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration?

I want to write that fashion designer! Mickey AU so bad. I have lots of thoughts that are very scattered and disorganized.

What’s something you’ve discovered since entering this fandom? A new trope you love? A different analysis of the show? Something else?

My opinion on Debbie definitely changed following some analyses here on tumblr. I think I related to Fiona a lot and saw Debbie through Fiona's perspective and that really negatively colored my perspective. I will say that my ire has turned towards the writers, and writers for shows like this in general tbh, for honestly doing a shit job of portraying a sister relationship, even one as parentified as this.

What’s an underrated trope or concept you’d like to see more of?

I'm not sure!

What’s your favourite season? And has this changed after multiple rewatches of the show?

It switches between season 3 and 4...though I do like season 2.

What’s a plot hole you wish had been answered or resolved?

The cartel???? They after Mickey or not???

What scene or moment do you feel isn’t discussed enough?

In the show or in fandom because those are two separate answers. In the show? We all know that one. In fandom...hm. I've seen so many good analyses, let's see. Oh, this is going to ruffle some feathers but Ian going to Trevor after losing a patient on the ambulance and how that paralleled him running to see Mickey, and how different it was at the same time. Mickey immediately softened his demeanor, immediately put himself in a potentially unsafe situation for himself to comfort Ian. Trevor was thinking of himself in that moment, not about Ian, and I think it really encapsulates the differences between the two relationships. (NOTE: I don't think Trevor was a good romantic fit for Ian, I think it would have worked better as a friendship!)

What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship?

This song - particularly "I wanted more than you could give me, so certain for a 15-year-old, something 'bout you feels like caffeine, pure gold."

I also like this song for Mickey specifically - particularly "I was far to scared to hit him, but I would hit him in a heartbeat now, that's the thing with anger it begs to stick around // It makes you hurt the ones who love you, you hurt them like they're nothing."

What do you think is next for Ian and Mickey post-finale?

Directly post finale I want them to adopt a dog, I think it'd be good for both of them. It can go running with Ian. Snuggle with Mickey. Be in their Christmas cards that Ian INSISTS they get now. For kids...I go back and forth on this, honestly. I think it would depend if Mickey was serious about putting the work into his anger and identity issues. I don't think they should or would rush into parenthood at all, I mean, they're still really young in the finale - 25 and 27. All things going well, I could see them pursuing parenthood in their late 30s tbh.

Thank you for the tag! I am very tired and feeling kinda shy since I haven't been as active as previous - but if you want to do this, feel tagged by me!

[naranjapetrificada]

Time for another Fanfic Friday!

Let's get the obligatory self-promo out of the way: Monday night, just before bedtime, I finally posted Chapter 2 of my bizarre little gay pirates arranged marriage ancient-world-inspired AU From the Firmament. I get if you don't trust WIPs, or don't think it's for you, and I'll be the first to tell you it's unusual. But if you find your curiosity piqued at all, maybe you should give it a whirl? If being in the OFMD fandom has taught me anything, it's that even things that are certifiably Not Your Thing can surprise the hell out of you.

Onto the recs (including one that absolutely wasn't My Thing and a non-OFMD rec)! Here's what I've been reading lately:

1) Of the AUs that should be "definitely Not My Thing", Wanna Fly Away is probably the least My Thing I've encountered. It absolutely, positively should not be something I'd ever consider reading, no matter how much I trust @petrichorca not to lead me astray. Monsterfucking? Nope, absolutely not for me, but blessings upon all who enjoy it. And Animorphs? I mean really, Animorphs???

So anyway I'm on Chapter 9 now, although I'll admit to having skimmed the final chapter many moons ago out of curiosity. I do that sometimes because I'm generally spoiler agnostic and sometimes I need to know ahead of time if a certain story will leave me existentially devastated. Jury's still out tbh! Crucially though, even after skimming the last chapter, I didn't start reading. What actually got me to read the fic proper was this separate one-shot that looked at Stede's character before leaving his life behind. That reminded me in a lot of ways of this pre-canon fic I've long appreciated, and that sealed the deal.

2) Next, for something ENTIRELY in the canon universe, I've been following the gentle, meditative innkeepers-era fic The Waters Around You by eimeo (not sure if they're on tumblr) and it's made for really rewarding reading. There's still plenty of work our boys need to do, but for once they actually have time to do it!

3) I've also been trying to catch up on my OMG THEY'RE ✨BOYFRIENDS✨ fics and one I heartily recommend is Tenderly the Light by the one and only @darcylindbergh, which perfectly captures that effervescent feeling you know they both had during the boyfriends scene while also not forgetting that they have to go out there and escape the British while also just being so full of LIFE. Pitch perfect.

4) Next up is the recently reposted Powder Blue by @scarrletmoon. It's a modern AU which I missed the first time around because I wasn't in the fandom yet (if such a time ever existed). Heed the tags going in, but if you're like me and heard so much about it after it got taken down, you'll absolutely want to check it out now. In particular, I love how like, grounded I feel inside Ed as a character, and how the in-world power dynamics replicate for a reader how Stede's specific brand of inscrutability would have felt to Canon Ed, who doesn't have the benefit of knowing how Stede feels. There's that little bit of distance there that just makes everything a bit more...more, I guess.

5) Lastly, for those of us anxiously awaiting the latest update to @moonyinpisces's phenomenal GO fix-it How Do We Turn On The Light (brb refreshing my email again), I want to recommend Talk to Me of Things to Come by Atsuki, which visits Crowley and Aziraphale on New Years Eve, 1988. It's flirty and sweet (although I definitely would not call it "fluff") and has some S-tier Aziraphale pining if you're into that. Not even sure how I found it tbh but I must have been throwing GO fics at the void where Chapter 16 of HDWTOTL waits to melt our collective minds.

Happy Friday, and happy reading!