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vivid-ink · 1 year ago

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"Show Me & Teach Me"

Neteyam Sully / female Omatikaya reader

Summary: You were an inconsequential member of the Omatikaya clan who had failed your rites of passage once already. You were born to heal, not hunt or fight. So, why had the tsahìk designated Neteyam of all people to take over your training? What business did the future olo’eyktan have mentoring you? But it was too late now. You should have known better than to fall in love with your mentor. You had known this day would come; the day when your success would mean losing his company. You should have clung on tighter to your heart while you still had it…

Content: Angst & fluff, pining, protective Neteyam, romance, Neteyam is your mentor, teacher-student chemistry, eventual happy ending, slight age-gap fetish, older man-younger woman.

Word count: 6.5k

Notes: This is my first ever Tumblr fic post! I've posted previously on AO3, Wattpad and FF.net, but I discovered this wonderful fandom on Tumblr recently and you've inspired me! Shout out to these bloggers whose work and writing I've been avidly browsing recently - @cinetrix, @andraga12, @pandoraslxna, @lanasblood and @draiochtwrites Special thanks to @cinetrix for her fabulous Neteyam renders. SO. BLOODY. GORGEOUS. This is also my first attempt at a Neteyam/Reader style of writing, so I hope I've done it justice. I personally don't like the usage of 'Y/N', so the reader's name in this is Seyla. The name is not used often, but there are a few points where it has been used for stylistic/emotional effect in the dialogue. Cross-posted also on AO3 - Show Me & Teach Me Other works available - VividInk AO3

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The dichotomy of emotion that swirled in your chest was a frustrating ache; a blight against the happiness of the occasion. Today was a happy day, and yet the unwelcome despondency you felt stubbornly insisted on battling with your elation at having finally completed your rites of passage. You had completed Iknimaya to tame your own ikran last week, and yesterday you had completed your uniltaron (dream hunt).

You were officially a woman now, born again as one of the Omatikaya, and tonight the entire clan was celebrating you and your other successful peers. Your peers who are all a few years younger than you are… The pessimistic part of your brain unhelpfully supplied.

The swallow of saliva down your throat was tight at the thought and you mentally attempted to bat away the negativity. So what if you were a late bloomer? What mattered was that you had succeeded now, and you had one person in particular to thank for that.

Neteyam…

His name breathed like a soothing balm over your fraught mind, but before your thoughts could carry you further away from the jovial festivity that surrounded you, the call of your name jolted you from your contemplation.

“Seyla! Come and join us! Tonight isn’t for sitting, it’s for dancing!”

Twisting your torso where you were seated to meet the mirthful eyes of another girl across the bonfire, you gave her a small grin in response and shook your head. Nope, you were not much of a dancer. You were skilled with your hands; at weaving; at beading, and at healing – especially healing -, but the rest of you was as uncoordinated as they came. This was one of the reasons it had taken you longer than most to achieve your rites.

You raised your voice to ensure it would carry over the percussion drumbeats of the music and the crackle and spit of the fire, “No thanks! You go on, Pania! I can’t dance, and I’m happy being merry over here with my drink!” The vessel of bittersweet alcohol in your hand was brought to your lips once more to prove your point and though Pania pouted, she acquiesced and returned to her frolicking.

Shyness had been your constant companion your entire life. You had never liked being the centre of attention, had always been content to just blend into the background where it was safe and constant. Happy though you were tonight at your success, no amount of cajoling would to persuade you to join the mosh pit of revelry around the bonfire. You preferred your quiet contemplation, observing and finding joy in others’ bliss while they enjoyed the celebration around you.

With another sip of your drink, you sighed to yourself as the liquid burned a path down your throat.

As always, your gaze wandered through the sea of swaying and jaunting bodies, seeking out the strapping frame of the man you had become familiar with recently. You had grown fond of him over the many moons you had spent under his tutelage, far too fond, you realised. It was not long before you found him, mingling amongst a group of the other mentors.

Neteyam was laughing heartily among them, nursing his own vessel of alcohol. His smile was dashing, and his laughter was like music to your ears, warming the cockles of your heart and setting it aflame. You felt your own lips pull into a diffident smile of your own at the sight of him. He was so beautiful; both inside as well as out.

You remembered being mortified at first when he had been assigned as your replacement mentor. It had happened not long after his family had returned to the clan following the Long War.

The return of Toruk Makto and his family had been greatly celebrated; the return of their beloved olo’eyktan and the return of Neteyam as his successor. Neteyam had always been handsome, even in his youth. You recalled the silly girlhood crush you had harboured for him, a boy several years older than yourself who took not much notice of you, although he had always been kind in the few interactions you had shared.

Neteyam had returned to the clan even more striking now that he had grown into a man, with the toned musculature of a warriors’ body that made even the most reserved of women think unchaste things. You were guilty of this too.

So, imagine your horror when tsahìk Mo’at had pronounced that Neteyam would take over training you for your second attempt at your rites. Great. Just what you needed; more self-conscious pressure…

You had not done well under Rini’s instruction. Rini was one of the best young warriors in the clan, but she had found your lack of confidence frustrating and your timid nature more annoying than endearing. She had been impatient and exasperated as a result, the entire ordeal culminating in the shame of your first unsuccessful attempt at Iknimaya. You had not been injured, but you had failed because none of the ikran had challenged you and you had made no further attempt to tame one.

The decision for Neteyam to replace Rini had shocked you and it had made no sense. Even thinking back now, it still made no sense. Great Mother, why would anyone devote the time of the future olo’eyktan to the training of an inconsequential young woman?

Nevertheless, Mo’at’s decision had proven to be beneficial to your learning. You put it down to Neteyam more so than yourself. You were still the same old you; bashful, uncertain and reluctant to cause things harm, even if it was hunting wild game for the clan’s sustenance. Neteyam just had a way about him; he was unassuming and patient, and he had made you feel at ease with him.

The lively swell of the music around you faded into the background as your thoughts consumed you once more. The memory of your first meeting with Neteyam floated into the forefront of your mind…

*** FLASHBACK ***

“Tsahìk, I think the yalnabark tincture is done brewing. I’ve taken it off the fire for now or the mixture might scorch at the bottom.” You called out assuredly. If there was one thing in life you knew you were good at, it was the art of healing.

Mo’at reappeared from around the partition in the healers’ hut, crouching down to test the consistency of the tincture in the pot by stirring it gently with a wooden ladle. The viscous fluid bubbled gently and you knew it would cool eventually to form the thick salve you were used to slathering on cuts and wounds.

The tsahìk sniffed the wafting fumes before settling appraising gold eyes on you. She smiled and the expression made the corners of her eyes and mouth crinkle with warmth, “Well done, child. It’s the perfect consistency.”

Beaming at the praise you received, you settled the pot to the side to cool and began gathering your things to clean up for the day. Eclipse was fast approaching and the light of day was fading fast. Quietly, you wondered to yourself why you could not just carry on as you were, learning from Mo’at and assisting her with the sick and injured from day to day.

You were born to help people; to heal them and give them comfort in difficult times. Hunting and learning to spar with knives and spears were the farthest things away from your proficiencies.

“You are thinking so loudly I can hear your thoughts.” Mo’at hummed, her lips forming a wry grin.

“I just don’t understand why I have to train and pass Iknimaya. I’ll never be a hunter or a warrior. Can’t I just learn from you and be a healer for the rest of my life?”

Mo’at fixed you with an astute gaze and she narrowed her eyes at you, “You can and will be a great healer, Seyla. But Iknimaya is a rite of passage that all Omatikaya individuals must pass. You need to tame an ikran or how will you travel? You’ll never fly otherwise and you are too grown now to be a pillion passenger on another’s ikran.”

With a resigned huff, you slung your pouch across your torso, preparing to depart for the evening when Mo’at called out to you again.

“Just stay back for a while today. I told Neteyam to meet you here at eclipse. I figured it would be good for the two of you to reacquaint yourselves with each other a bit before you he starts your training tomorrow.”

Self-conscious flutters erupted in your belly.

Of course, you knew you would be spending a lot of time with Neteyam in the coming while since he would be mentoring you, but the timid part of you had thought you would not need to deal with your nerves around this until tomorrow. You did what was requested of you nonetheless.

Neteyam was prompt, stepping into the healers’ hut within moments of eclipse’s onset. Your heart had been racing steadily behind your sternum in anxious anticipation, but the sight of him made it skip a few beats. Eywa help you, he was so attractive… How were you ever going to be able to concentrate on your learnings being mentored by him?

You immediately rose to your feet from where you were knelt out of respect at his arrival. Dipping your knees slightly and with a bow of your head, you greeted him, “Oel ngati kameie, Neteyam. My name is-”

Neteyam interrupted you before you could finish, “Seyla. Yes, I know. I remember you.”

Your head snapped up in surprise at his words. His smile was kind and his eyes gentle as he regarded you and you blinked, lost for words, for several moments before you found them again, “Oh, you do? We never really spoke much.”

You were six years his junior. Too young to have been in any of the social circles Neteyam had made his way around in. Any interactions you had shared were fleeting and often just greetings in passing. He was as good as the crown prince of the clan, so naturally you had known who he was. It would not have been unfair though to assume, especially with your quiet nature, that he did not notice you.

A jovial grin danced across Neteyam’s lips, the tips of his canines peaking charmingly out from his behind his upper lip, “The girl with the pretty braids. Though I see you don’t wear them as long anymore.”

The peal of laughter that bubbled up from within you was involuntary, sparked by pure delight at the realisation that he did indeed remember you. You had worn your hair much longer as a girl, your tresses trailing in luscious locks down to your hips. Your hair had been one of the beautiful things about you, and you and your mother had spent countless hours crafting new beads and braiding them into your hair in intricate styles. The length had unfortunately become inconvenient as you grew older, so the ends of your braids were now lopped shorter to brush the small of your back.

A flush heated your cheeks under his scrutiny and your laughter died down. Clearing your throat clumsily, you nodded, “Yeah, that’s me.”

A hoarse chortle emanated from behind you and you remembered Mo’at was still present. Her husky voice piped up, her eyes twinkling with some enigmatic reason in their depths, “You need to look after this one, Neteyam. Her hands work miracles with the ill and injured. She is gifted with healing, both physical and spiritual. And you of all people should understand how exceptional that is.”

The tsahìk’s words were high praise and you felt the flush on your face intensify. Her words reminded you suddenly of the reason for your meeting with Neteyam in the first place though, and you quickly added, “I will work hard as your trainee. I’m not particularly athletic or strong, but I’ll always try my best. I don’t wait to fail again and I don’t want to bring you shame as my mentor, so I’ll pass my rites or die trying.”

Neteyam appeared taken aback by the candour with which you spoke and the severity of your tone. He gave a slow cock of his head to the side, his eyes calculating while you fought hard not to squirm at his silent assessment.

His assessing gaze only lasted several moments before the comfortable warmth of his usual expression returned. His voice was benevolent when he spoke, “No one is going to die trying anything. We will go at your pace. I may push you at times, but if it gets too much, you are at every right to voice this to me.”

Neteyam’s words were a reassurance and the thundering of your heart began to subside. Mustering up what little dregs of courage you possessed from within yourself, you lifted your head to peer into his eyes and found them void of any judgement. Their green-gold depths were open and sincere, and you perceived also a silent promise of security in them.

The lump forming in your throat hindered you from finding your word, however, and your response to Neteyam was a mute nod.

He spoke again then, the baritone of his voice rumbling delightfully through you, “I swear to you as your mentor that I will keep you safe. Your safety is my priority and you will have the protection of my body too if need be.”

Neteyam’s masculine pledge of security made parts of you squeeze in feminine appreciation, and you berated yourself internally for letting his appeal distract you.

You watched as he extended a hand out to you and you placed your hand in his to shake it, only to feel him raise the back of it to his lips instead in a gentle kiss against your knuckles.

*** FLASHBACK END ***

A stray ember spat from the bonfire and sailed through the air towards you. You hissed and slapped at your arm where the ember made blistering contact with your bare skin. The heat of the fire suddenly felt stifling and you got to your feet, intent on heading somewhere quieter where you could be alone with your thoughts.

Great Mother, you missed him already. You were going to miss him so much.

Feminine laughter reached you and the points of your ears swivelled in that direction, your eyes following suit a moment later. You spotted one of the female warriors, Penina, giggling while she clasped on to Neteyam’s forearm as the troupe of warriors continued in their conversation. She raised herself onto the balls of her feet to whisper something in his ear before she pressed a lingering kiss to his cheek. Neteyam turned his head and gave Penina a sly smile in response.

You turned away quickly, not wanting to witness anything more. You should have clung on tighter to your heart while you still had it.

A sharp stab of sadness pricked in your chest and you silently chastised yourself for being so foolish. Neteyam was the future olo’eyktan for goodness sake. He had his pick of the females and he could court who he liked. You had known this day would come; the day when your success would mean losing his company.

Looking around you, you saw that everyone else was engrossed in their carousing and it allowed you slip away unhindered. Padding towards the appealing tranquillity of the woodland glade that surrounded the clan’s new Hometree, you found yourself a patch of soft moss amongst the bioluminescent eyaye ferns and settled yourself there.

Taking deep breaths through your nostrils, you closed your eyes and surrendered yourself to the sounds of the night; the soft pattering of water from the nearby cascades; the chirruping of insects and the occasional calls of a troop of syaksyuk in the lush canopy overhead. Beating back the soreness in your heart, you willed yourself to pray to the Great Mother, to be grateful and thankful for your achievement.

However, your mind did not appear to want to co-operate and the painful image of Penina kissing Neteyam’s cheek flashed through your consciousness again.

Being mentored by Neteyam was both your greatest blessing and your greatest curse.

After that first meeting with Neteyam, you had only gone from strength to strength under his guidance. He was a kind but firm tutor who held an unwavering belief in your abilities, despite the fact that you did not share that same confidence. He pushed you to your limits, but never beyond them and like any good mentor, he knew when to reward you with praise and when to be more critical.

You should have known you were a lost cause from the moment he had sworn to protect you during that first meeting. You should have been more careful. You should have guarded your heart with the constant reminder that he was not yours and never would be no matter how much you felt drawn to him during your lessons.

*** FLASHBACK ***

Neteyam stood at your back, his stance almost a mirror of yours as he adjusted your shooting form; legs positioned firmly apart, back straight with a strong core, bowstring drawn as you took aim at the target in the distance between the thick trunks of the trees. Your aim and accuracy had strengthened considerably in the weeks training under Neteyam. Tomorrow, you would attempt again the first rite of making a clean kill.

It was difficult to concentrate when you could feel the heat of his body radiating off him and feel his warm breaths tickling the point of one of your ears. The heat of one of his hands seared against the skin of your hip as he steadied you and the fingertips of his other hand supported the wrist of your bow arm. Unable to take your eyes off the target to confirm your suspicion for yourself, you also swore to the Great Mother that the tuft of his tail was delicately caressing the calf of your back leg.

“Whenever you’re ready, loose the arrow.” Neteyam whispered, and the purr of his voice sent a shudder through you that you hoped he did not notice.

Target in focus, you narrowed your eyes and when the instinctive urge hit, you let your arrow fly. It hurtled through the trees to embed itself dead centre of the mounted target amongst your previous attempts. The thrill of success washed through you once more and you gave a little skip on the spot in celebration.

“Seysonìltsan (well done)!” Neteyam cheered, looping an arm around your waist and pressing his cheek to yours in an affectionate nuzzle that made your face and neck flush, “You’re all set for tomorrow. You’re going to be just fine.”

Your initial joy at your success with target practice soon clouded over when you contemplated the final part of making a clean kill: A dagger through the creature’s heart to return its soul to Eywa; the part that you had failed to complete on your own during your first attempt. Rini had been forced to end the creature’s life for you.

The sound of the yerik’s pained, bleating cries still haunted your ears to this day. You had felt rotten being responsible for the arrow that had impaled its side. You had not wanted to cause it anymore pain…

Sensing the change in your mood, Neteyam ran a gentle hand down your side, “Hey, come back to me. What are you thinking about?”

Chewing on your bottom lip, ears twitching, your nervous eyes flitted to his, “Did Rini tell you why I failed this rite last time?”

A frown marred his handsome face and he shook his head, his concern evident as he snaked an arm around your shoulders to pull you against his side.

The soothing strokes of his thumb against your upper arm coaxed you to continue, “My arrow’s aim was true and I managed to impale the yerik. But I couldn’t end its life with my dagger. I don’t like to hurt things. It was in pain and all I wanted to do was make the pain stop. Of course, the pain would’ve stopped once I ended its life but the thought of stabbing it was too much for me to bear. Rini had to do it in the end. I was too weak to.”

Your last words were uttered with all the dejection that you felt and the tears of your shame stung in your downcast eyes. Something so simple, so natural in the cycle of life that all creatures shared in the Great Mother, and you could not do it. You were weak.

You felt warm fingers grasp your chin gently and your face was tilted up to meet Neteyam’s. Your eyes remained shuttered, however, and you cursed the two fat tears that squeezed their way from behind your closed lids to roll down your cheeks.

“Seyla, look at me.” Neteyam implored you, and it was only the sheer tenderness in his tone that made you brave enough to obey. Your breath was stolen from you as you met his striking eyes and his expression was full of compassion, “You’re not weak for finding it difficult to end a life. Your calling is to heal, to restore life even in the direst of circumstances when all seems lost. There is great strength in that. Empathy is not weakness. You have a big heart and I don’t want to hear you call yourself weak ever again.”

Swiping your tears from your face with the back of one hand, you sniffled softly and nodded. But your chin wobbled along with your voice as you posed your question, “What if I can’t do it tomorrow? What if I fail again?”

“Then I’ll guide your hand and we’ll do it together. And after you’ve completed your rites, you’ll never have to hunt again if you don’t want to.”

*** FLASHBACK END ***

And he had guided your hand in the end.

Neteyam’s bigger hand had enveloped yours to steady its trembling amid the bleating cries of the yerik you had felled, and he had given you the strength, the driving force that you needed, to complete your first rite.

Afterward, your adrenalin and your distress had all come to a head and he had held you in his arms where you were both crouched, comforting you as you cried.

That had been the first of your successful firsts, as you called them, and Neteyam had been there every single step of the way after that. Your first kill; your first climb to Iknimaya where you successfully tamed your ikran; your first flight; your first talioang hunt; and your first Dream Hunt. It was always his eyes that you sought out first at the end of each achievement, and your heart had always soared to find his gaze waiting to receive yours.

You were not even aware of it at first, that your heart no longer beat inside the confines of your chest. Then one day as Neteyam had graced you with another one of his magnetic smiles, you realised that your heart now beat in the hold of his hands. He had swindled it from you without you even knowing it and now it was too late to get it back.

Today had been the first day in many moons – almost seven – that you did not arise in the morning and head out to meet Neteyam. You were one of the people now. There was no more training to be had and you had felt the loss of his presence keenly during the day today.

You had thanked Neteyam last night, for all his guidance and perseverance that had led to your success. You had been weary from the exertion of your Dream Hunt, your mind still foggy from the psychoactive effects of the glow worm one had to consume as part of the rite. However, you remembered murmuring your thanks to him and falling asleep against the blissful warmth of his chest as he had carried you home to your family’s alcove.

He must feel it too… You thought to yourself. That magnetism that pushed and pulled between the two of you, surely it was not simply one-sided on your part?

Neteyam had never said anything, had never given any indication to you of wanting to address the bond that had grown between the two of you. All the smiles, the embraces, the tender nuzzles, the deliberate touches and the gentle brushing of his fingers against your skin; all the almost kisses; had you imagined it all? Did your lovesick brain infer more than there actually was to all of it?

“What are you doing here?”

The voice at your back startled you out of your skin and you jumped with an unintentional yelp.

Neteyam’s deep laughter reverberated loudly in the serenity of the glade around you and you turned to swat at the calf of one of his legs, your tail lashing crossly behind you at being alarmed. He moved to settle himself on the moss next to you and you shuffled over to make room for him where the moss was its plushest.

“What have I always told you about watching your back?” Neteyam clucked playfully, reaching out to poke you in the ribs lightly.

You recoiled from the ticklish jab, unable to stop the giggle that escaped you despite the frown you still wore due to his previous action, “I don’t really think anything dangerous will sneak up on me whilst I’m on home-ground. So you’ll forgive me, karyu (teacher), for letting my guard down.”

“You don’t think I’m dangerous?” There was a mischievous glint in Neteyam’s eyes and his tone was cheeky as he regarded you.

Oh, you knew Neteyam could be dangerous with his imposing stature and warriors’ body, corded with powerful muscle that guaranteed brute strength in a wrestling match, and promised carnal delight for a woman caged within his hold in a very different kind of match. The explicit nature of your last thought surprised you and you hoped the furious blush staining your cheeks was not obvious in the dim light of eclipse.

“Seriously though, I know you’re not one for crowds and carousing, but what are you doing hiding out here?” Neteyam queried again, and sincerity coloured his tone this time.

“Everything just got a bit much. And I’m still tired from yesterday, I think. I just wanted somewhere quiet to reflect.” You muttered softly.

The familiar musk of his scent tantalised your nose and you took a discreet inhale, savouring the comfort it brought you while you also tried simultaneously to embed it into the deepest recesses of your memory. You were not going to be around Neteyam much anymore. You had healers’ duties to attend to and he had duties as future clan leader to attend to. That certainly made for quite a lot of distance.

Another twinge of sadness pulled at you and you kept your gaze on your folded knees, unable to look at him. Wanting to deflect and distract yourself from the sombre mood that was threatening to overwhelm you, you parroted his first question back at him, “I could ask you the same thing. What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be back with the others, enjoying the party? You seemed to be quite engaged with the warriors before.”

“I saw you sneak away and I figured I’d check in with you. This is technically your party after all, to celebrate your rebirth. You sure you don’t want to head back out there? There are quite a few people who want to congratulate you.” Neteyam cajoled.

“Not right now. I’ll come back in a bit. You go on though. I’m OK, you’ve seen that no danger has befallen me.” Your attempt to be jovial fell flat even to your own ears and you felt Neteyam shift beside you, lowering his head to try and catch your eye.

“Seyla, what’s wrong? You’re upset. Has someone said something to you tonight? Hurt you? Tell me what happened and I’ll deal with them.”

Neteyam’s concern and immediate oath to defend you was moving. It was wonderful to know he still cared deeply for you despite the conclusion of your mentor-mentee relationship. His devotion to the people he cared about was one of the many things you loved about him.

Great Mother, you loved him. You were in love with him.

The sentiment threatened to choke you and you swallowed it down painfully. You were determined to keep your composure. You did not want to cry tonight in front of Neteyam, not when it was a night of celebration for you as well as for him as your mentor. You would look like an absolute ingrate and you were not about to admit to him the real reason for your melancholy either.

“Nothing untoward has happened. No one has said anything or done anything.” The words were forced from your throat and you realised with mounting horror that you were failing miserably at trying to sound normal. Your voice was unsteady and unbidden tears were pooling in your eyes.

Neteyam’s brow furrowed uneasily at your apparent distress and he shifted to face you. His large hands encircled each of your upper arms, rubbing gently in an attempt to mollify whatever turmoil you clearly felt but seemed reluctant to tell him of. “Shh it’s alright, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but you know you can tell me anything, right?”

A choked sob left you and you pawed in frustration at your wet eyes, lying through your teeth, “Ugh, I’m sorry. I’m just really tired and out of sorts. That glow worm really did a number on me.” You pushed at his forearms gently, faking a smile and urging him to return to the merriment of the party, “Go, honestly. Don’t let me ruin your evening.”

Neteyam appeared utterly unconvinced, which was testament to how well he had come to know you; how easily he could read you. He fidgeted uncomfortably then and you mused to yourself how uncharacteristic that was of him when he was usually so self-assured.

He took a slow and measured inhale, one of his hands leaving you to scratch nervously at the back of his head, “I actually wanted to talk to you about something. Something important.”

The downturned points of your ears pricked upwards with interest, his last two words piquing your curiosity, “What is it? Is it bad news?”

By Eywa, please let it not be bad news. What could be so important that he needed to speak to you right now?

Neteyam took in your worried expression, your beautiful doe-eyes shiny with emotion, and he chuckled lightly, “No, it’s not bad news. Well, it could be bad news for me, but that depends on your viewpoint on the matter.”

“What do you mean?” You queried and you both watched and felt as he took your smaller hands in his, his fingers squeezing and rubbing your palms gently comfortingly.

Licking his lips and swallowing the knot of nerves in his throat, Neteyam began to explain slowly, “You know my position within the clan as my father’s successor.”

“Yes.”

“You know that I will lead this clan as olo’eyktan when my father’s time in that position ends.”

“Yes.”

“Well, every olo’eyktan needs a tsahìk.”

You blinked perplexedly up at him. His three statements appeared rather matter-of-fact and ‘old news’ to you. It was nothing you did not know and nothing you were not already aware of. You were quite puzzled as to why Neteyam was bringing this up now. “Sorry, I don’t think I’m following you. I know all this already.”

A nervous chuckle left Neteyam then and he ran a hand down his face. He knew he was being cryptic and it was the result of his own nerves that caused him to be so. He could see you had no idea where he was going with this and he took the opportunity to tease one last time, “Have you never wondered why I was assigned as your mentor?”

You perked up at the question. Ah! This question you could relate to, “Yes! I wonder about this all the time actually. There are many other skilled hunters or warriors who could’ve trained me. I don’t understand why they designated you. Surely your skills would’ve been better used elsewhere.”

“It was my grandmother’s decision specifically. As tsahìk, she interprets the will of our Great Mother. She determines the best candidates for the future leaders of this clan.” Neteyam continued, his tone measured and he watched carefully for your reaction while you took in his words, “Seyla, you were her choice of tsakarem (future tsahìk). Of course, it was all dependent on you passing your rites, which is why no one could tell you this fact. Not even me. She assigned me as your mentor not just because of my skills, but because she wanted to see if we would get along.”

“W-What?” Your heart was galloping in your chest, your brain reeling as it tried to process the information you had just been enlightened about.

“It was such a hard secret for me to keep.” Neteyam appeared a little sheepish then and he chortled, bringing both of your hands up to his lips to press several kisses to your knuckles, “Your heart is so pure and you’re so beautiful. I grew fonder and fonder of you the more I got to know you. I wanted you to pass your rites and I knew you would with time if I could build your confidence. Now you have, and I’m so proud of you.”

A sudden burst of clarity struck you as Neteyam’s words began to sink in. Everything that had not made sense before made perfect sense now: The reason the future olo’eyktan of all people had been assigned to mentor you; the reason Neteyam had been so forward with his affection during your training; the reason Mo’at had always been so welcoming towards you learning from her, despite the unofficial mantle you had once held for so long as the ‘flop’ of the clan who may never pass your rites. There had been a bigger picture all along.

“Your grandmother wants me to be your tsahìk?”

Neteyam nodded and he reached out to cup your cheek, “Yes, if you’ll accept the position and accept me as your betrothed.”

Something dazzling white and wonderfully warm pierced through the cloud of your melancholy. You looked at Neteyam’s face, really looked at him and at the future he was presenting you with. You, tsakarem! Neteyam’s betrothed and future mate. You would stand at his side, tsahìk and olo’eyktan…

It was such an about-turn of events from what you felt moments ago that you could hardly believe it. But the sheer joy that burst within your heart was so welcome and in that moment, all was right with the world. It felt like the misshapen pieces of your wounded pride that had taken a beating after your past failures had reshaped themselves and found their place.

Beaming at Neteyam through glassy eyes that were now filling with happy tears, you laughed and the sound was bright in your ears.

Neteyam leaned in to nuzzle your cheek tenderly, his warm breath ghosting across the smooth skin there, “Please say you’ll accept and be mine. You are gifted and blessed by Eywa, and it would be an honour to have you as my tsahìk.”

“Yes. Yes, I accept.” Your giggles were wet and your arms instinctively curled around Neteyam’s neck as he lifted you in his arms to your knees in a triumphant embrace.

Neteyam drew back then, his face mere inches from yours. He nuzzled your nose lightly, “May I kiss you?”

With parted lips and a bashful nod, you absently thought to yourself that you were yet again about to experience another one of your firsts with Neteyam. Your first kiss.

His lips met yours in a tentative meld at first, the moist brush of lips an entirely new sensation to you. Neteyam pressed forward again after, claiming your lips this time in a deliberate sweep of lips and tongue that stole your breath from you and sent a spark of desire coursing through your veins.

Your earlier melancholy seemed lightyears away now in the face of what had just happened, and your heart sighed in contentment at the uplifting of its grief that had come with Neteyam’s declaration.

Not wanting to scare you with his fervent ardour, Neteyam pulled away a little to rest his forehead against yours, “By Eywa, you don’t know how long I have wanted to do that.”

“I see you, Neteyam.”

“I see you, yawntu (beloved).” He returned the sentiment, smiling as he delivered a couple more chaste kisses. He sat back on his haunches then to properly look at you, his expression turning serious then, “Will you tell me why were you upset before? I’m just concerned, that’s all.”

Rolling your lips together in mild embarrassment, you outed the truthful answer to his question, “I was sad that I wouldn’t see you every day anymore. I was missing you. But it seems I don’t need to worry about that anymore.”

Several emotions flitted their way across Neteyam’s face; surprise, compassion and then satisfaction. With a wayward smirk, he purred, “Our daytimes may be spent apart now, but our evenings, well, we’ll have to fill those, won’t we? I’m looking forward to getting to know my betrothed in a more personal manner.”

Neteyam surged forward to kiss you again, more forcefully this time, and your head craned backward under the pleasurable plundering of his mouth. You moaned lightly and when a mistimed re-angling of your head caused your teeth to clack against his, you pulled away self-consciously with an apology, “Sorry, I’m new to this. Looks like you’re still going to have to teach me, karyu.”

The impish grin that Neteyam cast you sent hot shivers down your spine and his eyes glinted with the promise of the best kind of wickedness. He placed slow kisses to your face; one to your chin, one to your mouth and then to each of your eyes before he murmued, “Oh, there is so much that I plan to teach you, yawntu. And we have a lifetime to explore all that.”

He punctuated his words with a searing, open-mouthed kiss to the column of your neck and the suction he applied there made your toes curl into the plush moss beneath you.

With your eyes closed and your mouth slack-jawed from the pleasure his lips were wreaking where he worshipped your neck and chest, you knew without a doubt that today was just the beginning of the first of many firsts with Neteyam.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~*** Author's Note:

If you've made it this far, THANK YOU for reading! <3 How did I do with this? It was very tricky to write at points, as I had to be mindful of the POV and the pronoun usage.

Leave me a line with your thoughts! <3 Could you relate to the protagonist in this? Did you feel what she felt? All the angst, her shyness, the fluff at the end...

On a side note, I love Mo'at always playing matchmaker. I always seem to write her with some cheek in her personality.

Want more Neteyam & Seyla? Check out Part II below which has a very steamy spice-extension. ;) Next Chapter: Part II - I Like Your Stars Better

#neteyam #atwow #thewayofwater #neteyamsully #neteyam x oc #avatar movie #avatar neteyam #avatar james cameron #neteyam/reader #fanfic #fanfiction #avatar #atwow neteyam #neteyam sully #avatar twow #vivid-ink works

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minniethemoocherda · 4 months ago

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Just A Friend To You

A/N: Thank you so much to @pkmndaisuki for agreeing to be my beta reader for this fic! I never would have spotted any of my spelling mistakes otherwise lol! Please go check out their amazing X-men art! I hope you guys enjoy the fic! I know I don't post that frequently but I am trying my best to help keep this ship afloat! Xxxxxx

Ao3

FF.net

From across the diner, Morph watched as Jubilee and Roberto inched ever closer to one another, neither of them quite yet taking to leap to touch.

Ah, the perils of young love, Morph thought. Although it wasn't as if the perils of love stopped once you became an adult. Something that they knew all too well as they turned their attention to the man sitting opposite them.

When Logan had learnt that the two teens were going on a date, he had demanded that he chaperone them. After many protests, Jubilee had agreed, on the condition that Morph also came along to make sure Logan didn't stab anyone, namely Roberto.

Which was how Morph came to find themselves that Saturday afternoon, watching a date, whilst on a not-date with the man they were in love with.

Most times when they and Logan were hanging out they would be roughhousing, or watching TV, or playing basketball. But here there was nothing to do but just enjoy each other's company. It was nice.

Morph wore their usual human form but with dark jeans and a pink crop top that they may or may not have borrowed from Gambit's wardrobe.

Wolverine was reluctantly wearing a buttoned shirt, because Jubilee had demanded that if he insisted on stalking them then he should at least look presentable. Morph was pretty sure that Logan had stolen his shirt too, probably from Scott, especially given that it was at least three sizes too small for him. He'd had to roll up the sleeves to hide how short they were and left the two buttons undone as it wasn't wide enough to fit across the expanse of his chest. Not that Morph was complaining about the view.

Nor were they complaining about the sweet potato fries that came with their burger.

"You should try one of these," Morph told him as they dipped one of those said sweet potato fries in ketchup.

The next second, Logan leant over the table and bit the one that Morph had been holding between their fingers. Which under different circumstances could have been romantic, but instead reminded Morph of when their old family dog would steal scraps of food from the table.

"I didn't mean that one you animal!" Morph cried, throwing a fry at his face.

But Logan bit that one too, catching it in his mouth, which then spread into a wide grin. With the ketchup dripping from his teeth onto his white shirt, he really did look like an animal.

In retaliation, Morph stole one of his onion rings which Logan protested with a "Hey!" But didn't otherwise complain.

Of course, that was when Roberto finally got the courage to make a move and draped his arm over Jubilee's shoulder.

Morph heard the familiar snikt of Logan drawing his claws from under the table.

"Calm down Wolvie." Morph said, reaching under the table to wrap their hand around his wrist. "I doubt he's gonna try to jump her in the middle of a diner. And even if he did, Jubilee can handle herself."

"She sure can." Logan said, his snarl turning into a proud smirk as he put his claws away.

Now, Logan might say that he didn't like kids, but Morph had seen how he interacted with them.

He always gave into Jubilee's demands to go shopping, or play video games with her, no matter how much he said he wouldn't. And when the teenager needed a non-judgmental shoulder to cry on, he was always there.

Morph knew Logan didn't want kids of his own, and in their line of work they couldn't really blame him. But still, they couldn't help but think it was a shame. He really would make a good father.

It was just one of the many reasons why they loved him.

Suddenly the waitress appeared next to their table and Morph realised that they were still holding Logan's wrist. They quickly retreated it back.

Thankfully, the waitress appeared not to notice, too busy trying to balance an overstuffed bowl of ice cream, sauce and sprinkles in her hand that she placed on their table.

"We didn't order that, lady," Logan told her.

"I know. The girl over there did," the waitress replied, pointing over to Jubilee where a similar looking desert was placed upon her table. When Jubilee caught them looking her way, she waved a cheeky grin and Robert just looked confused.

By the time Morph looked back, the waitress was gone and Logan was digging a scoop out of the ice cream.

"What?" Logan shrugged, shoving the spoonful into his mouth. "I ain't gonna waste free food."

Melted ice cream dripped down Wolverine's chin adding to the collection of stains on that poor shirt, and Morph took a scoop themselves to try to distract themselves from that train of thought.

They had to admit that the dessert was pretty good, not too creamy yet not too solid with a perfect balance of ice cream and toppings.

Logan must have thought so too because as he licked his spoon he let out a low rumbling moan. Morph knew that in this form, they had to have been blushing at pink as their t-shirt. Not even Logan dipping one of the left over fries in to it could lessen their blush, so they did their best to hide it by ducking behind the large bowl as they ate the remainder of the monster of a dessert.

But try as they might, Morph couldn't distract themselves from the thoughts in their head. Logan had to know how this looked right? The pair of them, sharing a dessert. Morph swore they had already seen some of the other diner patrons giving them funny looks. Maybe Logan didn't care? Or maybe he wasn't as hyper-aware about appearances as Morph was?

At least their internal breakdown didn't last for too long, thanks to Logan's never ending appetite.

Morph glanced over at Jubilee's table to see that they had finished too.

Now all that was left was to pay the bill.

"I'll get it." Logan said, grabbing some bills from his trouser pockets. "I'm the one who dragged you into comin' with me."

"Wow, a burger, some frees and a free dessert. You really know how to treat a girl." Morph teased, as if the idea of Logan ever treating them to a real date would be a complete joke.

"Fine." Logan snorted, handing the money over to the waitress. "Next time I'll persuade that Roberto kid to take Jubilee some place fancier."

Next time? Morph felt their stomach somersault.

"Well, if you insist on taking me somewhere fancier then we will have to get you a new shirt," they said, pointing to where a third button had now snapped free. They tried to hide the fact that they felt left like they were about to puke up their own gloop.

"Why? You not likin' the view?" Logan said through a smug smirk.

"I like not getting kicked of restaurants more."

"So you do like it," Logan stated, that smirk turning predatory.

Wait, was Logan actually flirting with them? No, of course not. That could not be happening. This was just their usual banter. Right? Morph must have gotten so caught up in how the pair looked that their brain must have tricked itself into believing that Logan was flirting with them. Yes, that's what must have happened.

Of course that was when Jubilee decided to interrupt.

"I thought I told you to wear something decent!" She cried, grabbing Logan's leather jacket from where it was draped over the back of his chair and throwing it over the exposed expanse of his chest.

"I wore a shirt didn't I?" Logan protested, shrugging the jacket on properly. "Besides, Morph said they liked it."

Jubilee turned her accusatory glare towards them.

"Okay first of all, I never said that. Also I was the one who told Logan that shredding his only shirt wouldn't get him out if wearing one in the future so this-" Morph waved their hands in Logan's general direction. "Is not my fault."

Jubilee stared up at the ceiling but she was unable to stay annoyed for too long as Roberto placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and when her gaze once again found his and a smile once again graced her face.

"Whatever. Me and Roberto were going to go to arcade if you two insist on stalking us."

Morph glanced towards Logan and was surprised too see him shaking his head.

"Nah, you kids go ahead. We got our own plans."

Jubilee looked between them, a suspicious smile on her face that had Morph's stomach churning. But for once she chose to keep her mouth shut simply waving them both goodbye.

"You kids have fun!" Morph called after them.

"But not too much fun." Logan grinned making Roberto's brown skin pale as the teens headed for the door.

Despite their teasing, Morph truly was happy for Jubilee. Robert was a good kid. They were good for each other. Roberto helped to keep her grounded whilst she showed him the light around them.

Morph watched as Roberto reached out his hand and Jubilee didn't hesitate to take it in her own. Morph knew that it wasn't easy for the pair of them easier. As an Afro-Brazilian and Asian-American couple, they too drew their own fair share of less than happy looks. But the two teens ignored the stares, only having eyes for each other.

"Not that I'm complaining about getting out of babysitting duty," Morph said getting up from the table. "But I wasn't aware that we had any plans."

"We're going bowlin'." Logan stated, getting up himself, when he suddenly refused to meet their eyes. "If you want. 'Cus we still haven't been since- I mean we ain't been in a while."

Morph chose to believe that Logan's uncharacteristic fluster was because he had reminded them of how they still hadn't gotten the chance to go bowling together since they'd been freed of Sinister's control, and not the fact that he'd accidently made it sound like he was asking them out on a date.

"I'd love too." Morph quickly covered up the sincerity with a joke. "As long as you promise not to act all stabby when I beat you."

Logan snorted.

"As long as you promise not to act all bratty when I win."

"No promises."

As the two of them left, Morph couldn't help but glance down at Logan's hand as it swayed between them. They hoped that one day, they would have the courage to take his hand too.

#morpherine #x men 97 #wolverine #logan #x men #morph #morph x men #morph xmen #kevin sydney #jubilee #jubilation lee #roberto de costa #sunspot #james logan howlett #logan howlett #logan x morph #morph x wolverine #juberto #marvel

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gilbirda · 10 months ago

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Friendly neighborhood vigilante. Chapter 21

BatmanxDP crossover. JasonxJazz

[Read on AO3] [Read on FF.net]

Based on this post

First chapter || << Previous chapter || Next chapter >>

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“I’m so sorry.”

“I’m fine.”

“Your ankle is twisted.”

“Is not that bad,” Jazz said for the tenth time. And it really wasn’t, she had worse before, and it would be healed in a few days, tops. She wasn’t in top condition since she had to share her last dose of ectoplasm with him; but that didn’t mean she would let a sprained ankle bother her so easily.

“Are you sure you are okay? Jason is an absolute unit.”

“Hey.”

“What? You know it’s true!”

Dick nodded at Tim. “I almost broke my back trying to carry him piggyback once.”

“Really?” Jazz looked up from where Alfred was kneeling with the first aid supplies. She had already tried to insist she could deal with it herself and had been ignored twice. “Are there photos of that?”

“Sadly, no.”

“Damn.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be on my side?”

Jazz turned to smile at her boyfriend, not-that-secretly enjoying his slightly pink cheeks.

“Hmm?”

Everyone turned to look at Alfred when he hummed. The butler was frowning, eyes fixed on Jazz’s right foot — not in her red and swollen ankle he was about to bandage, but on one of her toes. It was crooked and stood out next to the other perfectly aligned ones.

Oh. Right.

“What happened?”

Jazz felt a bit crowded when the siblings leaned in to see her foot. She could feel their eyes scrutinizing her feet, and she never felt more self conscious before. She could have painted her toenails, at least, but she didn’t find time to do so before the dinner.

“I broke my toe a long time ago.”

Dick wore what she had come to understand was his “that’s nice” smile. She had seen him use it many times during gymnastics class, when he definitely had some comments to say but bit his tongue and said “that’s nice” instead. He had used it with her a few times, but she didn’t hold it against him.

“It didn’t heal fine.” Tim beat him to the comment. Jazz expected it, and sighed.

She gathered her thoughts as Alfred carefully twisted her foot this and that way, not upsetting her injured ankle.

“I was… eight? Ten? I think I was ten years old. I ran upstairs a bit too fast and stumbled with the last step and broke it.” She fixed her eyes on her feet when she continued: “I thought — It was just one toe. I thought I could power through and it would heal on its own.”

Someone tensed. From the corner of her eye she saw Bruce shuffle closer. She didn’t miss his troubled eyes as she ranted about her childhood back at the dinner table.

“Your parents didn’t take you to the hospital?” He asked, trying very hard to mask his horror and disappointment. Cute, but unnecessary.

“They would have, if I had told them.” Why did she get weirdly defensive, even after all these years? “But I knew I couldn’t afford the hassle of getting a toe splint and the bed rest. Danny — We had to eat. The house wouldn’t run by itself.”

Jazz had time to reflect and address how unfair it was for her to assume that role so young. She didn’t help either, trying so hard to be treated like an adult and shoehorning herself into the parenting position; but her parents gave up control to her too easily and faster than what should have been legal.

“So you walked around with a broken toe? For months?”

She didn’t look at Jason, but nodded in response. Memories of the pain coming back to her mind. It hurt so much. It really, really hurt, but she just couldn’t give up. Giving up meant not eating. Meant her grades slipping and having the school call her parents. Meant worrying Danny.

“At the time I was dealing with a lot of pain. It wasn’t until we discovered the long lasting effects of ecto contamination that we realized that the pain Danny and I experienced for the best part of our childhood and adolescence was the ectoplasm changing us from the inside out. I thought it was just growing pains. So I just… ignored it all and moved on.”

It truly was how she lived her life, huh? Ignore the pain and power through. That’s how she dealt with things when she was a kid, how she did during highschool. How she managed to just adapt and give up her dreams so she could become Danny’s pillar and support during the preparation to be King. How she came out in one piece after fighting at his side for so long.

She had always been such a hypocrite — advocating for staying in touch with your inner child, to address mental health, while ignoring her own. Nagging and pushing Danny to not let things accumulate and talk about them with her or with his friends.

And when it was about her? Power through. Ignore. She would have time to work through it later.

A soft touch on her shoulder brought her back to the moment. She breathed out slowly, looking into the eyes of the one person she knew would poke her until she admitted she wasn’t as fine as she thought, and sit with her as she worked through her thoughts.

“I’m okay.” She told Jason with a little smile.

And truly, she was.

Someone cleared their throat, and Jazz jumped, feeling her cheeks burn. Oh, Ancients. She hoped she hadn’t been staring at his eyes for too long.

By the quiet snickers and how the group that had formed around her dispersed, she assumed she did. How embarrassing!

“In any case,” she tried to get back some of her dignity, “that’s the story why the toe looks weird. It healed wrong but,” she shrugged, not really wanting to dwell on that.

“Well,” Alfred continued after a brief tense silence, “we may not have recent pictures of Jason at hand, but I know where the old albums are stored. If you want to see.”

Old albums? As in, Jason when he was a kid?

Jazz perked up at the thought — he must have been such a cute kid! — but looked to check on him if it was okay. Jason was very private and he didn’t talk much about his days at the Manor.

He looked… relaxed? He was lifting an eyebrow and looking at Bruce with a little smile. “I didn’t know you kept the pictures.”

The other man looked a bit tense. “I keep all the pictures of my kids.”

“Awww,” Stephanie leaned over where she was resting over Tim and Bernard’s laps on the other sofa, arching her back to look at Bruce upside down. “Even mine?”

“You are not one of my children, as you like to remind me every day.” Bruce said with a tired sigh, but that made it obvious he was joking.

“Damn right.”

Jazz giggled, a numbing cream Alfred was applying on her ankle tickling her a little. She stayed put as he bandaged her ankle with practiced moves, with just enough compression to support her injured ankle but not enough to cut her blood flow. Jason mentioned that Alfred usually patched them up after patrol.

“Thank you.” She said to the butler when he was done, a conversation about “baby pictures” and half hearted threats flowing around the room.

Alfred smiled at her, softly patted her foot and then gathered the first aid kit stuff and left quietly.

“Picture time!”

Jazz had little time to prepare before Dick dropped a thick album on her lap and sat down on her free side, opening the album on the first page.

The pictures were old and some were shaky and off-focus. They had this homey feeling that reminded her of the days before her parents became obsessed with the portal and family time took a backseat in their lives.

They watched her thumb through the pages and answered questions about the pictures — mostly Bruce, Dick and Alfred — and tried to not crowd her too much. Jason kept himself distanced from the situation, maybe to give her space too, maybe to be able to watch her react to the stories and the pictures of a faraway past. Jazz was polite and showed genuine interest, laughing at the memories with the rest of the group.

Soon they got to the pictures that featured the second addition to the family. Everyone breathed in relief when any reaction from the estranged family member was overshadowed by their guest’s high-pitched squeal.

“So cute!” She murmured, hand hovering over a picture with a much younger Jason covered in bandaids and glaring daggers at the camera.

“It was shortly after he arrived at the manor,” Alfred supplied the information, “and young master Jason didn’t like posing for pictures.”

Her cheeks colored pink, eyes fixed on the picture of a frowning child with curly hair. They watched in silence as she went through the pictures of her boyfriend, wondering what she was thinking. Back then Jason was a completely different person, did she notice the differences? Did she mourn the kid that he was? The man he could have been?

Jazz turned the page and a pile of pictures slid down the album. Jason was the fastest, picking up everything before it hit the floor.

They were Batman and Robin pictures.

“Oh shit,” Tim grumbled, trying to reach for the pictures, “forgot those were there.”

Jason moved his hand, and the pictures, out of his reach.

“I thought I told you to remove them, Master Timothy.” Alfred’s disappointment was perceptible, but his worried glances at Jason’s face minimized the impact.

Everyone held their breath as the man looked at the pictures, smiled, and showed the one at the top of the pile to everybody.

“I forgot how ugly the old uniform was.”

Jazz yanked the picture from his hand and held it close to her chest. “Don’t say that!” She reached for the rest of the pictures. “I liked it.”

“But that’s because you were a groupie.”

“You were a Robin fan?” Bernard jumped at the opportunity to keep the mood light.

“A me fan!” Dick smirked, flipping his hair like a diva. “Our dearest Jasmine was the club president for years!”

“Just two.” She grumbled, face red as a tomato. “And yes, I may or may not have been a Nightwing fan —”

“But you said—”

“I know what I said!” Jazz huffed, keeping her eyes on the pictures. The Robin in those pictures was Dick, given the wavy hair parted on the side. And the giant smile on his face, showing his dimples. “This is so embarrassing.”

“And yet you keep looking.” Did Jason focus on messing with her to ignore everything else? He was as calm and collected as he had been during the whole evening.

“Robin pictures have always been very difficult to come by. Good quality ones, at least.”

Tim smirked, pleased. “Some of my best work, if I do say so myself.”

“These are yours?”

“Yep,” he popped the ‘p’, “although I didn’t catch Dick until his last few months as Robin.”

Jazz hummed in response, eyes still focused on the pictures. “The resemblance is uncanny.” She murmured.

“With?”

“Danny, my brother.” She smiled up at Dick. “He dressed up as Robin one Halloween. Costume was really good, my parents bought the good quality stuff.” She chuckled. “I threw the biggest fit ever — Danny didn’t even like Robin! He thought he was lame and not as cool as Superman. But it was what my parents got him and everyone at school told him he could pass as the real thing; and well, he caved and didn’t give it to me.”

“You wanted to be Robin?” Dick asked, amused.

“Yeah! I was sooo mad. ‘Girls can’t be Robin, Jazzypants’” She scoffed. “Of course my parents weren’t helpful.”

Stephanie hollered, not looking up from her phone screen. “Yeah, girls can’t be Robin. That’s absurd.”

“In the end I went as Wonder Woman, since I didn’t have time to get another costume.”

“You don’t like Wonder Woman?” Jason asked her.

“No, I like her just fine. It’s just—” she sighed, leaning on the backrest of the sofa, gathering her thoughts. “Robin, for me, was more than a celebrity. I was… Growing up, I felt so helpless. Everyday I ended up exhausted and wondering when it would end, counting the days until I turned eighteen and I could take my little brother and leave that house. I think —” her voice got tight for a moment, but she cleared her throat fast, “ — I think that I was a huge fan because Robin was such a capable hero while being a kid like me. If he could do so many amazing things then I could, too.”

Jazz was suddenly pulled into a muscular chest, arms squeezing her so hard she was about to beg for mercy when Dick finally let her go. “That was so nice to hear, my dear number one fan.”

She chuckled, unsure of what to say, feeling everyone’s eyes on her person after such an embarrassing speech. She patted the man’s forearms a few times before moving out of the hug.

“I don’t think I’ve ever shown you guys a picture of my brother. The one with the costume should be somewhere in my childhood house — I remember taking pictures that day — but, here.”

She pulled her phone out and went to the gallery app, quickly finding a selfie of her with Danny. It was at the Nasty Burger and was a bit old, about a year old, but it was safe to show it. No Realms business.

“Tim, he could be your clone.” Bernard murmured, eyes on Jazz’s phone.

Jazz giggled. “Doubt so. We would know”

“What?”

“What?” She answered Tim, a nervous smile on her lips. The other narrowed his eyes, pondering her words, but let it go.

“I can see what you mean about the resemblance,” Dick moved on, “and I’m sure you could have passed as Batgirl, with the red hair. Babs’ is a bit darker, but it’s close enough.”

“I thought about it the next year but Danny said he was ‘too old for trick or treating’ and I also didn’t see the point of spending money on an expensive costume and, well, life happened.” She sighed, going back to the pictures, maybe looking for one of Batgirl. “I should have insisted, who knows. Is in the past now.”

“I mean, if you want the suit, it’s in the basement.”

She gave Dick a look, raising an eyebrow. “No, thank you.”

Dick opened his mouth to insist but he choked with the words, watching Jazz pick the next picture on the pile, showing a much younger Robin. It was Jason, of course, who was pictured running and flying around Gotham’s rooftops.

Everyone watched Jason. Jason watched Jazz.

“You look weird without the white streak,” she smiled up at him, lifting a picture where the kid wearing the bright colored uniform was clear and in frame, placing it next to his scowling face. “Yeah, I think I like you more with the punk hairstyle.”

“It’s a death souvenir.” He said, trying to act nonchalant, but everyone noticed the slight tension in his jaw as he watched her reactions.

“Oh I know. I knew it wasn't dyed since that day in the elevator.” At his incredulous look she added: “I told you. I know death, buddy.”

He rolled his eyes, but picked up the pile of Robin pictures in her hands. Eyes somewhat distant, the now young man went through the pictures without really stopping at any of them.

"These are really good." He commented.

"Thanks…" All Tim got in response was a grunt.

Jazz leaned in to look at the pictures too, one of her hands softly placed on his without drawing attention to the gesture. Jason didn't comment on it either, choosing to continue looking at the pictures.

"Hm." He finally said. "The short pants were a mistake."

Bruce exhaled slowly, realizing he had been holding his breath. Jason looked calm enough, even after everything that happened. Was this a sign that things were going to get better?

“If you hated them so much then you should have changed them,” Jazz’s voice lacked actual bite, and her glare was playful.

“Didn’t have enough time to change anything.” He stopped at a picture where the little kid looked more adolescent. Maybe it was taken the year of his passing. “And I knew Dickolas would flip if I changed the outfit. He hated me—”

“I didn’t—!” Everyone jumped at Dick’s outburst. He shrunk in his seat. “I didn’t hate you,” he started again, softer, “I was mad at Bruce. I shouldn’t have misplaced my anger like that.”

Jason considered his brother for a few seconds, ignoring everyone’s stares, and nodded. Without any other comment, he turned towards his girlfriend and asked:

“What did you think about the second Robin? Wasn’t he also a child hero?”

Bruce didn’t know what hurt more; that he spoke of that child like he was a stranger, or that “hero” was obviously not Jason’s first choice of words.

Jazz snorted and looked down at the picture of a serious-looking fifteen year old Jason Todd wearing the Robin costume.

“I hated him.” She answered in the middle of a tense silence. “He wasn’t as funny.”

Bernard was the first one to break into incredulous giggles, shortly followed by Stephanie. The rest watched in horror, waiting for the trainwreck to happen, unsure what to do at their guest’s statement.

Jason blinked once, twice, and joined the laughter as he grasped Jazz’s face with one hand, squishing her cheeks.

“You are weird.”

“And I’m right. You weren’t as funny.” Her words were almost incomprehensible since she couldn’t move her jaw.

“What are you talking about? I’m hilarious.” He leaned in, pulling her towards him so their faces were very close. His smile wasn’t kind but the corner of his lip twitched with amusement. “You love my death puns.”

Jazz rolled her eyes. “I’ve heard every death joke under the Sun. You are not special.” She said as best as she could articulate.

Everyone saw the young man’s eyes travel down her face to her lips, and what was once a tense silence became charged with the obvious attraction between the couple. If there was ever a doubt they cared for each other, it was gone now.

But instead of kissing, he let her go and leaned back to his lounging position. Jazz chuckled and let her body fall so she could let her head rest on his shoulder. She picked up the picture, admired it for a few seconds and gave it back to Dick to put it with the others in the pile.

“Thanks for showing me these,” she gestured at the album. Whatever else she was going to say was drowned by a big yawn she hid behind her hand.

“I think—”

“You guys could stay the night.” Bruce interrupted Jason. He smiled nervously. “I mean, it’s late and,” he vaguely gestured towards Jazz’s bandaged foot. “Alfred could give you a lift tomorrow.”

It was easy to see through the attempt, even for those that knew Bruce the least.

“Everything is as you left it. Your room—”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Or I can prepare a guest room immediately.” Alfred manifested out of thin air, having left during the picture time to tend to his duties.

Jazz looked up at her boyfriend’s face, worried. She picked his hand but stayed leaning on his side, maybe hoping her weight kept him grounded. Jason was very tense, and she could feel his breaths grow quicker and shallow.

“You can show me your room another day.” She muttered, unsure if it was the correct thing to say.

He looked down at her eyes, searching for something. Exactly what he wanted, she didn’t know; but Jazz held his gaze with determination, letting him know she would follow his lead with whatever option he chose. If he really didn’t want to stay, she was fine with riding back to their apartment with her injured foot.

Jason clicked his tongue and breathed deeply once. “My old room is fine. Just for tonight.”

Goodbyes were brief and hasty, the mood ruined after the uncomfortable exchange. Tim left with Bernard and Stephanie, since the couple was giving her a ride home, and Dick decided to stay the night as well. Duke made a tactical escape to his room with barely saying good night. Cass disappeared for a moment and came back wearing her pajamas, picking up Jazz’ bag and discarded shoe to bring back to Jason’s old room, leaving a spare pajama set for Jazz on the bed by Alfred’s orders.

Bruce watched all happen from his loveseat with a worried face. He glanced at Damian as he passed by with Titus behind him, both coming back from the dog's last walk of the day.

“They are staying the night?” His son asked when he approached, watching Jason pick up the young woman in his arms.

The older man smiled at her blushed face and embarrassed antics at being carried like a princess. “It seems so.”

Damian considered the situation and nodded, his thoughts concealed. Bruce was positive his youngest’s opinion of the new addition to the family changed during the evening; but he didn’t know how Damian felt regarding having Jason back. His son didn’t deal well with change, even less when it was regarding family dynamics, and he was worried about the whole situation.

For the moment everything seemed okay — Damian nodded again and went upstairs to his room without asking anything else.

And so, Bruce was left alone with Alfred.

“I like her.”

The butler hummed at his master’s words. “Shall I prepare a new suit, Master Bruce?”

That finally made the man laugh. “She’s not a vigilante, Alfred.” He said when he calmed down. “I wouldn’t drag her deeper into this life than she already is.”

Alfred gave Bruce a look, lifting one thin eyebrow, like he knew better but was biting his tongue.

---

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#jazz x jason #anger management ship #hardcover ship #jazz/jason #dp x dc #dc x dp #batpham #dpxdc #friendly neighborhood vigilante #neighbors au

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jessaerys · 8 months ago

Note

your fav mello/near fics??? thank yeww (also love your drawings!)

oohh this reminds me i should pick up my ff.net archival reclist project up again...

it is of note that it's been a looooong while since i've combed the archives and there's a couple of common tropes i don't usually read due to personal taste, so i'm sure there's a lot of good fic i'm unaware of and/or forgetting about! this has totally renewed my interest in making a comprehensive personal reclist >:) perhaps i'll come back and edit this post every now and then.

i owe comments to nearly everyone mentioned here i am SO sorry. it's a lost skill that i am working on developing again. at the very least i've got everyone in one place so i can go down the list this year. i encourage everyone reading from this reclist to leave a comment too!

i wrote "off the top of my head" but this got VERY long so under the readmore it goes

obligatory classics

• the famous @tierfal 's sidetracked (2010) and full of surprises (2009). rated e and m respectively. these are like the allegorical little black dress in the wardrobe of the platonic ideal of the mellonear oneshot. seem to be pretty well known across the ship fandom • stripped (2009) by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire on tumblr. explicit. i haven't read this in a while but i remember it capturing the delicate gossamer tension of the ship in a way that was sooo bittersweet and nostalgic. • to speak of rules and privilege (2008) also by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire, gen, a manifesto on tenderness, soooooooooo soft, changed the game, near being afraid of thunderstorms was immediately adopted into personal canon. big time influence for the way i write near and mello's pre-canon relationship re: big brother, little brother. • an understanding (2008) by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire, rated T, short and sweet, razor sharp prose, the aesthetics of the little piece live rent free in my head. • dual(2011) by ramasi, @ramasi here i believe. rated m. historians say this might be one of the first examples of mellonear choking kink ever recorded,

•scarification (2012) by gacrux11 on fanfiction.net, rated m, big time dead dove do not eat. sorry this one leans early 2010s era grimdark melodrama but i love it sjkdfkjfd. not enough dead dove fics about the boys if u ask me. • salt in the wound (2007) •tempus fugit (2007), and • white out (2006) by vaudevillain king on fanfiction. net. a beloved rare find. all of them are rather grimdark edgy products of their era, but some of the best the era had to offer. they make me so nostalgic for my teenagehood on fanfiction.net. i get the impression these might've been written even before death note was finished? • birthday smut (2009) by kleine_aster on livejournal. explicit. this one is SO funny to me because it is both really, really good, very in character, but unfortunately it suffers from almost satirical misogyny that afflicted fujoshis back in the day. near literally is like oh that bitch... like. he would not fucking think that but i can edit quickly in my brain as i read. bisexual mello rights! otherwise really sexy imo. i might be writing something that's kind of in conversation with this fic.

RARE finds

(please tell me if you enjoy any of these, i want to feel like an explorer that's brought back treasures from far away lands)

contemporary favorites:

• you've heard about it before and you will hear about it again: the archer ensnared (2023) by jabbernatty, rated e. a jessaerys obligatory syllabus read, the fic that made me go fulltime yaoi disease. i owe so much to jabbernatty they are my white whale my friend my enemy the writer i've psychically imprinted on from the beginning. honestly too scared to even leave a comment given the jessarys archer ensnared lore. may one day may contact and pray i don't come across as insane • postmortem (2023) by the_hemlock true gen, a favorite of ALL time. it's only tangentially mn really, it is 99% about near trying to piece together the mystery of lawlight post-canon, but the characterization and prose are some of if not the best i've ever come across. reads like it could be a piece of canon material. if you only read one fic on this list i'd pick postmortem. • it's friday i'm in love by neallo/@neallo rated m. possibly my all time fave in the neallo cinematic universe. something about the after-hours longing and the standing in the kitchen by the refrigerator lights, as the poets say. i love when stories feel like you're cutting out a window to peer into a larger universe that is just out of reach. perfectly captures what it is like to have a maddening crush • i want to hold you (hostage)(2023) by neallo/@neallo rated e. thee defining fic of this current modern mellonear era. manages to walk the line of kinky/sexy/sweet/fluffy all at once. plot twist of the century in the last chapter. near is properly as bananas insane as mello is in this fic, which is the marker of a good mellonear dynamic. really everything by morgan neallo is a safe bet for a great read • there's nothing i want but you (2023) by neallo/@neallo rated t. wammy's era mellonear obsessiveness that is soooo teenagery and yet a portent of just how codependent they might one day get. cute and ominous. • armageddon/kill game (2024) by bolide/@bolide-archive came out of nowhere a couple of months ago and ascended to the top of the game like a dark horse. rated m, chess au. one of my favorite interior mello narrations and one of the most similar to my own interpretation. such naturally talented prose. i rotate lines from this in my head all the time. still in progress but i have faith that it will be completed :') • how to burn down the sacred loom (2023) by dornishviper/@vriskarlmarx a contemporary CLASSIC. the less you know going in the better. beautiful prose, beautiful structure. they don't make fic like this anymore • the house always wins (2023) by mer_curia/@vivi-scera. screaming with my mouth closed. holds a special place in my heart given that it is my posting that convinced vi to give the ship a try, and i was rewarded with a fic that is so catered to my tastes i honestly had to read it through my fingers. SO good, the manifesto on wammyscest, so rather controversial. heed the warnings. • moonlight (2023) by tsukinousagi/@quicktimeeventfull rated t. an austere, cold little glimpse into a vampire au. it's giving let the right one in. so melancholic. one of the saddest near examinations out there. •proximity tells (2018) by abysmallypresent, rated m. truly lives up to death note's second-by-second minutia while managing to keep up the tension the entire time. great characterization. •silhouettes (2015) by bad blood/eroticcodependence, @wxmmyshouse on tumblr. unrated, post-canon compliant. made me CRY! elegantly short and simple, bittersweet and so so wistful. •arsonist's lullabye (2023) by tzviaariella/@tzviaariella. rated t. this one has a heart-wrenching air of realism to it that exists outside the chaotic universe of death note, one of those examinations of picking up the pieces after the titans have all gone away. very bittersweet.

honorary mentions

• let's die somewhere prettier (2020) by firesafinething also one of my absolute favorites, unfortunately it is discontinued and it is likely it will never be completed. sad! the premise seemed SO promising. in my mind i file it right next to postmortem mentioned above. the exploration of the tragedy of 27 year old near we could have had in a better timeline. one day i will leave a comment so good maybe it will bring back the fic from the land of the dead • august underground by me & @firebuggg rated e, in progress. >:) (shamless self promo)

#death note #meronia #mello dn #near dn #mihael keehl #nate river #mello #near #fic recs #this took so long to compile dfkgjfdjkgfdjk

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biconickyoshi · 8 months ago

Text

So I started posting my fic to both Wattpad and ff.net last year just as a backup after the ao3 outage, and while for the most part people have been fairly normal, recently I have started to get comments (on Wattpad, which honestly doesn't surprise me) from someone who seems to SERIOUSLY hate Katara???

And I mean hate hate, like calling her a bitch for speaking her opinion??? And not only that, but this person is literally ragging on her for being mad at Pakku for being sexist?? Like bruh wtf is going onnnnn

This person has also literally made no other comments about any other aspect of the story thus far lol. I kinda wonder if I should hop in and say something along the lines of "hey so I know this is a Zukaang AU and all, but I still very much like Katara and I don't appreciate the way you're talking about her" or what. Idk if it's worth my time.

Because yes, in this house WE LOVE AND RESPECT KATARA!!!!

EDIT: Okay it seems like they're mad at Aang too??? Again, for OPPOSING SEXISM IN THE NORTHERN WATER TRIBE. Like this is a gay fanfic, my guy. WHY ARE YOU MAD AT PEOPLE OPPOSING SEXISM

#my fic #the avatar and the fire prince #taatfp #atla #atla fanfic #avatar the last airbender #katara #pro katara #atla fandom critical #zukaang

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clover-blossom · 10 months ago

Text

ANIDALA FIC RECOMMENDATIONS- Part 1*

Realized I inadvertently left off several great fics. Stay tuned for Part 2!

Snowbaird has inspired me to revisit a favorite ship from my younger years. Inspired by @burntblueberrywaffles list, I put together one of my favorites. The vast majority of these are on ff.net BUT BUT BUT remember you can convert them here for download to your Kindle.

The Anakin Saga by geo3

A five part series published before all the prequels were released (so this is an OG). The first two are one shots. The last three are multi-chapter.

The Hour of Souls

The padawan and the Senator find that it is very difficult to be in love when everyone is watching and a shadowy figure is pulling strings....

Step into My Parlor

At the end of Episode II, why, oh why did they let Anakin travel back to Naboo with Padme? It turns out that a certain Dark Lord had something to do with it...

Children of Circumstance

A story about Anakin, his love and his path.

Winds of Change

Early days of the fall... Anakin's path after he is secretly married and returns to the Temple.

Ring of Fire

The final story in the Anakin Saga Series.

Living a Lie by Leah Naberrie

After the forbidden wedding, the reality of living a lie hits the Skywalkers.

Slight of Hand and Twist of Fate by irnan

"I suppose we should just be grateful they're not planning to televise the investigations," Anakin grouses. "Hmm," Obi-Wan says, too busy playing with Leia to answer him

Purgatory by HelenT

As if the comment Obi-Wan had made to Luke about Anakin ‘dying’ when he became Darth Vader was literally true, a newly dead Vader wakes in a strange world—as a twenty-three year old again. Post ROTJ

Kratisto by Irnan

Collection of ficlets about Anakin Skywalker

Pulse by froovygirl

AU for ROTS. As Padme's life hangs in the balance on Mustafar, a stream of brilliant light causes Anakin to reconsider his choices.

Into the Archives by skygawker

After hearing the legend of Darth Plagueis the Wise from Palpatine, Anakin decides that his best chance to save Padme is to break into the restricted Holocron Vault of the Temple Archives to search for information about Plagueis. Predictably, all does not go according to plan. Revenge of the Sith AU.

No Real Affection by Meredith Bronwen Mallory

After the second attempt on Padme's life, the young senator and Anakin find themselves getting to know each other again.

Underneath by CrazyAni

After feroscious duel on Mustafar, ObiWan Kenobi and Darth Vader are given a chance to go back and save Anakin. The Force sends them back to the past, but they wake up in each other's bodies...RotS AU*

*unfinished but worth a read

Part 2

#anidala #anakin and padme #anakin skywalker #star wars anakin #padme amidala #padme skywalker #anidala fic #anakin x padme

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stewy · 1 year ago

Note

hi do you have any tenmartha fic recs. I’m not strong enough to sift through the ao3 tag but I love them

absolutely i do! too many in fact and i would recommend checking more on livejournal because there are so many i haven't read yet

AO3

and the stars look very different today 1969

a desire of the mind (a pursuit of the heart) 1913

A Life More Ordinary 1969

Mr and Mrs Smith (Go to Lyrae)

Memento Mori

Felix Culpa 1913

On Hunting and Being Hunted 1969

Swear To Me

It's All Been Done post-breakup

Benefits of Lying tentoo/martha

Like Lemonade

Huntsman

Mind Over Matter

The Professor and the Physician: 1913

Five times fic 1969

New Beginnings

The Art of Surviving post-breakup

A Shadow In The Human Heart 1913

Bliss

Informed Consent

More under the cut!

ff.net

Honestly, all fics by HDUC, they're fantastic at smut and setting

@tendoc recommended me Haleine Delail and tbf i haven't even gone through half of their fics but my GOD!!!! how are t/m authors so good!! i think Not Better, Just Different might be the best T/M fic out there.

Attack of the Ladurians

The Fake Date

Well, This is Different mpreg which i'll always support in het fics bc it's funny

Touched By An Alien

Letting Go and Moving On

Whofic

there are like. way too many good fics in there + their tagging system is complete and utter shit so i’ll just link my favorite authors and let you have your fun!

Lucky McLurklurk

persiflage (so many good fics)

radiantbaby

Bobsyeruncle (not tenmartha but a TRUE martha girl/ten hater, of which i know few)

DutchLady

AspieSays

ayiana

okay so. livejournal. it'd be hard to link all the hundreds of amazing fics in that beautiful martha heaven so i'll just direct you to the Doctor/Martha & the Martha Jones communities and you can splash around in there. truly a wonderful historical piece of the internet god bless you if you watched doctor who in 2007 and thought hey. these 2 should fuck lol. also the T/M LJ has a page with exclusively 1969 fics so!!!! you can imagine my JOY at seeing that :~D

#i swear i tried to start a list from lj but like there are SO many and i'm not a patient person. god bless everyone though #ask #tenmartha #ten x martha #there are more on ao3 as well i was just trying to make it non exhaustive #ALSO. also #there was a martha/ten2 community which is as fantastic and insane as it sounds

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hollyethecurious · 3 months ago

Text

CS AU: Pan Says... (10/13)

Summary: After waking up in a strange room with a naked stranger, Emma and Killian must endure the twisted game their kidnapper insists they play in order to gain provisions and avoid punishments.

A/N: You read that right! I have a final chapter count! We are nearing the end, and I can't thank y'all enough! I hope you enjoy these concluding chapters (they'll be updating on Mondays and Thursdays) and don't yell at me too much. (Actually, go ahead. I kinda like it 😘)

Much love to my @kmomof4 and @ultraluckycatnd for being amazing cheerleaders and betas! Love you, ladies!

Rated E / Also available on ao3 and ff.net / buy me a coffee / add to tag list / Curious? Come Ask Me!

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven / Part Eight / Part Nine

Part Ten

“What sort of game is he playing at now, do you think?” Killian murmured as he and Emma made their way to the showers.

“Who the hell knows,” Emma groused. “I’ve given up trying to understand him or even attempt to stay ahead of his demented games.”

“Aye.” Killian sighed and gestured Emma towards the working showerhead, allowing her to go first.

“Not that I’m not relieved that our fears seem to have been… premature,” she said, stepping into the spray and wetting her long tresses.

Killian swallowed past the bolt of lust that always manifested when he saw her like this and added, “It is hard to enjoy the current peace and quiet, knowing there is likely a sword of Damocles hanging over us, though.”

Emma swiped the cascades of water from her face and gave him the look she usually employed whenever his “nerd side” came out, complete with an eye roll and stifled grin.

They spent the next few minutes in silence while Emma lathered, conditioned, shaved, and rinsed. In an effort to keep his libido in check, Killian let his mind wander over the past two plus weeks since he and Emma entertained Pan’s guests.

They’d gone to sleep that night with the worry of what Pan might have in store for them next and Killian’s dreams had been nightmarish reflections of those fears. None of which had come to fruition these past weeks. In fact, Pan had demanded very little of them at all, leaving them to their own devices much of the time whilst lavishing them with unearned gifts.

It was downright unsettling.

Killian’s eyes drifted down to his Swan’s lower abdomen and his jaw tightened from the equally unsettling knowledge that their recent activities may have already begun to bear their natural consequences, yet there was no way for him to know for certain. He knew she had not yet had a period, but he did not know whether that was unusual after the removal of an IUD. Of course, Emma was completely unaware that she was no longer protected from an unwanted pregnancy, therefore a lack of period was of no concern for her. He wondered, should they be fortunate enough to dodge the bullet of conception, what her reaction would be if and when her period did occur. Would Pan expect him to continue the charade of not knowing?

The continued deceit and knowledge that every aspect of their lovemaking wasn't completely consensual caused Killian’s stomach to tighten and churn painfully with guilt. He hated keeping it from her, but what other choice did he have?

“Your turn,” Emma said, pulling him from his tormented thoughts. His eyes snapped up and met the concern expressing itself through her furrowed brow and curious expression. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, love,” he replied, waving off her scrutiny with a quipped bit of sass that wasn’t entirely untrue. “Just a bit vexed by our esteemed host.”

Emma hummed her understanding and agreement, rubbing her hand down his arm affectionately as they traded places.

Once back in their now very cramped room, given the number of ‘luxuries’ Pan had provided them in the wake of their exhibition, they went through their normal, post-shower routines before settling back on their bed.

“Do you think he’d let us visit the terrace again without having to complete a ‘Pan Says’?” Emma inquired softly, tucking her legs beneath her in an attempt to get comfortable. “Like he did with the shower?”

Killian pondered her question. He knew they had both been surprised at the lack of quid pro quo when they’d finally broken down and begged Pan for an opportunity to shower. After all, it had been over two weeks since they’d been given leave to go and have a proper wash-up, and there was only so much a rinsed and reused washcloth, a small sink, and a vanishing bar of soap could do at this point. Killian had braced himself for the expected, unpleasant demand of a Pan Says in response to his and Emma’s request, but when Pan had simply agreed and opened the cell door with a reminder to not stray off the blue line, they’d both found themselves unnerved. Begrudgingly grateful, but mostly unnerved.

“Might be best to not push our luck,” Killian replied.

Emma’s shoulder sagged in disappointment, but the action was followed with a relenting nod of concession that he was probably right. He hated to dishearten her, especially when he’d love nothing more than to go out and breathe fresh air whilst basking in some sunshine. However, until Pan showed his cards and revealed what this new round of the game would entail, he didn’t want them lured into a false sense of security or led into a trap of their own making.

“So,” Emma said, changing the subject. “What will it be? Reading? A movie? Board game? What do you wanna do today?”

Choosing an activity - from the myriad of options their host had provided them over the past fortnight - that might keep them occupied, they spent the rest of the day, and the subsequent days afterward, in relative peace.

Too bad that peace couldn’t last.

“Pan says, you two are going on a field trip.”

Killian balked and noted the way Pan’s unexpected announcement had caught Emma off guard as well.

“A field trip where?” Emma asked warily.

“To another part of the compound,” Pan replied. “There’s something I wish to show you, so…” The cell door screeched open and revealed two Lost Ones standing at the ready. “Pan says, follow the orange line until my Lost Ones indicate you’ve arrived at your destination.”

~/~

Emma was probably going to end up with a crick in her neck from the way she kept craning it to look over her shoulder. The distraction of attempting to ascertain whether these were their original Lost Ones - the ones who seemed to have a connection to her and Killian - had her stumbling over her feet a number of times on the way to their mysterious destination. It was no use, though. Pan had changed their outfits, including their masks. Where before an opening had remained at their mouths and eyes, this new mask covered their faces completely. Emma doubted she’d be able to tell for sure, so she returned her focus to the new areas of the compound the new line led them through.

The orange line had run parallel to the green line, the one that led to the garden terrace, but branched off at the stairwell that led to the upper level. Killian had been silent since they’d left the room and hadn’t glanced her way once since the lines had split off. She knew it was because he was taking in every detail he could and adding the new information to the map in his head. He did finally peer over at her when the Lost Ones ushered them into an elevator, his hand still wrapped firmly around her own as they squeezed in beside the Lost Ones.

“So…” Killian drawled, startling Emma with the way he broke the silence within the elevator. “Are you them? The Lost Ones responsible for us being in this nightmare?”

“Killian,” Emma hissed in admonishment.

His eyes cut down to hers and met her incredulous expression. Why would he ask such a thing now?

“It’s not as though it’s a secret,” he said, turning his attention back to their guards. “Nothing escapes Pan’s attention, so I’m certain he’s well aware of the information one of you gave Emma. So let’s stop pretending we don’t all know you two are the reason Emma and I are here in the first place.”

Neither of them responded, though Emma did notice the guilty shift in one of the Lost One’s stances. Given the raise of his brow, Killian did, too.

Before he could question them again, the elevator lurched to a stop and the doors opened. The first Lost One exited as the second gestured for her and Killian to follow, dropping in behind them both as they continued down the orange lined hallway. They hadn’t gone far when the Lost One stopped and punched in a code into a numbered keypad mounted to the wall. The click of a lock releasing echoed through the hallway and the door swung open, revealing an entryway one might see in a swanky city apartment.

“Come in! Come in!” Pan’s voice crowed excitedly from the speakers in the room beyond. Squeezing her hand, Killian led them through the door and entryway, until they were standing in a naturally lit, warm and inviting living room, lavishly furnished and a sight more welcoming than the cell they’d been inhabiting for the past six weeks.

“What…? Where are we? Who… Who lives here?” Emma stammered, trying to take in not only the spacious living room but the other spaces connected to it as well.

“That will depend entirely on the two of you,” Pan supplied with a familiar note in his tone that alerted them both of an impending Pan Says on the tip of his tongue.

“Let me guess,” Killian snarked in reply before Pan could issue the edict. “Pan says this will be our new home if… we agree to whatever depraved, humiliating, new heights of degradation he has planned for us now?”

Again, Emma stared slack-jawed at Killian. What on earth had gotten into him today?

“Actually,” Pan began, his words carrying a hard edge that was difficult to miss despite the light tone he was attempting to keep. “It’s nothing new. In fact, my request is for you to do a Pan Says you’ve already completed for me once. Rather successfully, as a matter of fact.”

Ripples of dread cascaded down Emma’s spine as she exhaled on a panicked breath, “You want us to do it again. You want us to… entertain them again.”

Killian stiffened at her side, his posture becoming even more menacing than it had in the elevator. “Absolutely not. Separate us if you must, but I’ll not have Emma endure that again!”

“Separate you?” Pan parroted in mocked inquiry. “Why on earth would I separate you?”

“But…” Emma began, a myriad of emotions sweeping through her all at once. “Last time you said if we didn’t, you would--”

“Well, that was before you proved to be such a smashing success with my guests,” Pan told them. “You wouldn’t believe the praise I received for delighting them with such a feast for their debauched tastes… or the amount they’ve offered to pay for a repeat performance.”

“And if we say no?” Killian questioned.

“If you say no, then my guests won’t get a repeat performance… they’ll get an entirely new experience with the two of you.”

“What does that mean?”

Pan paused, allowing the tension and dread to build before explaining, “I’ve never been very good at sharing my toys with others, which is why my monthly exhibitions have always been just that. Exhibitions. Performances. Looky, but no touchy. However…” Another pregnant pause stretched through the room and Emma met Killian’s anxious eyes with panicked ones of her own, both of them now deducing what Pan was about to reveal. “If you will not allow my guests the voyeuristic experience they’ve already paid for, then perhaps I’ll give in to the obscene amount they’ve offered to allow them a more… hands-on role this month.”

“No,” Killian grit out from between his clenched teeth.

“Oh, yes,” Pan oiled in reply. “You can either allow my guests to watch you ravage each other for one night, then have the freedom and luxury of this apartment to dwell in afterward, or I can have you tied down and give my guests what they truly desire. The opportunity to ravage each of you for themselves - in some cases several at a time - for All. Three. Nights. The choice is yours.”

Emma wrapped her arms around her waist and doubled over, a mournful cry catching in the back of her throat as Killian roared next to her, picked up a vase from one of the end tables and chucked it at the wall, shattering it into oblivion.

“Now, now,” Pan tsked over the speakers. “I’ll give you some time to mull it over. We’ve another week before my guests arrive. Pan says to have a look around and talk it over. You can let me know what you decide before my Lost Ones take you back to your quarters.”

Feedback rang through the speakers, but it was nothing in comparison to the ringing in her ears. Reaching up, Emma placed her hands against her hot, flushed face, wet from tears yet also clammy to the touch.

“Swan,” Killian said, somewhere off to her right, his words a mixture of apology and commiseration. His hand ran a soothing caress down her spine, but it did not have the calming effect he intended. Instead, Emma felt her stomach lurch.

“Swan, I’m so--”

“I’m gonna be sick!” Darting through the living room, she just managed to make it to the sink in the kitchen beyond before emptying the contents of her stomach through a series of retches.

“Emma!” Killian cried out in concern, making his way to her in time to hold her hair back for her. She wished he wouldn’t. Wished he didn’t have to see her like this. Wished… so many things, actually.

“I’m sorry, love,” Killian continued to apologize. “I shouldn’t have let my anger get out of control like that. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to make things worse. I--”

“It’s okay,” Emma said, clearing her throat and reaching for a paper towel to wipe her mouth with. “Could you find me a glass?” she asked him. “I need some water.”

“Of course!” He tore open cabinets until he found one with drinking glasses. Handing it over to her, she could feel his scrutiny as she filled it from the tap and took small sips.

“I’m sorry,” she said, taking a turn to apologize for her own lack of ability in keeping it together. “I don’t know why I responded like…” Her words trailed off as something occurred to her. Something that nearly made her heart stop as she instinctively began to reach down towards her abdomen then thought better of it at the last minute, hopefully before Killian noticed.

No. Surely it would be too soon for that if I were…

“You’ve no need to apologize, love,” Killian soothed, though his voice was tight and strained. Glancing up at him, she noted how he only held her gaze for a moment before cutting his eyes away. His Adam’s apple bobbed and the muscle at his jaw flickered. When Emma followed the path of his eyes, she saw the shards of the vase littering the floor.

“You don’t need to beat yourself up either,” she told him. “I don’t think either of us was expecting…”

Killian slammed his hand against the counter, causing her to jump. “That’s just it!” he hollered. “We never expect it! We’re always several steps behind when it comes to his schemes! I’m tired of never knowing what’s next! Of always being on the defensive, never letting our guard down! I thought… I thought we might have the upper hand for once! I thought this might have been our chance to thwart him, but now…”

“What do you mean? Thwart him how?”

Killian ran his hand through his hair and forced himself to take a calming breath. “I thought he might threaten to separate us, like he did the last time. I thought… even though I’d hate being parted from you and having someone else… I thought it would at least mean we could keep one another safe from…”

“I know,” she said, placing a hand on his chest. “I was thinking the same thing.” His eyes snapped to hers and his lips parted in surprise. “As much as I don’t want for us to be separated, I couldn’t help but think how choosing to do so would mess with his plan.”

“Aye,” Killian said on a heavy breath. “Instead, he’s backed us into a corner once again. Leaving us no option but to comply.”

“At least we know what to expect this time,” she said, offering up that small consolation as she looked around the apartment. “And unlike the last one, this prison cell has windows,” gesturing towards a glass door at the back of the kitchen, she quipped, “and a balcony we can throw ourselves off of if it all gets to be too much.”

“Not funny,” Killian clipped even as a smile twitched at his lips. Releasing another heavy sigh, he took her hand. “I suppose we ought to take the full tour,” he groused, nodding towards the big screen tv in the corner of the living room with Pan’s most recent edict scrolling across, “before our jailers come to fetch us.”

~/~

Begrudgingly, Killian had to give it to Pan. The flat was magnificent. Several times he had to remind himself that a gilded cage was still a cage, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t eager to share the space, and the sense of normalcy it might provide, with his Swan.

The kitchen was state-of-the-art and fully stocked with all their favorites. It opened to a balcony that stretched the full expanse of the flat, giving access to the bedroom, bathroom, and…an additional room.

The bedroom was outfitted with a king sized bed, lush linens, a reading nook, and a spacious closet already filled with garments more keeping to their life before their incarceration. Adjoining, there was a luxurious, spa-like bathroom with a shower large enough for both of them to bathe at the same time, as well as a two person soaking tub. The room next to the bedroom was a bit perplexing, however.

“What do you think this space is meant for?” Emma asked after they’d swung the door wide to reveal a cozy, not yet furnished bedroom.

Killian swallowed thickly and shrugged his shoulders, hoping Emma would not take notice of his sudden change in demeanor. He had a pretty good idea what potential use Pan may have had in mind for the small room only steps away from the main suite, but just as he had when his suspicions had run rampant in response to Emma becoming violently ill earlier, he tamped them down and put on his best poker face. Fortunately - or unfortunately - he was spared from having to bluff further.

“Well?” Pan’s voice echoed in from the living room. “What’s the verdict?”

Making their way back to where the obvious camera was, though Killian knew there had to be many more hidden throughout the space, he and Emma glanced at one another with an affirming look before Emma sighed and said, “When do we move in?”

Pan practically crowed in response to their answer. “How about now?”

Killian and Emma both balked. “Now?” Killian said, incredulously.

“Why not?” Pan replied. “Call it a token of my gratitude and a reminder of how generous I can be.”

Killian wasn’t certain how to respond and found himself murmuring an astounded thank you alongside his Swan.

“Just remember my benevolence this weekend when it comes time to entertain my guests,” Pan commented with a slight warning in his voice. “Oh! And I have a few notes to go over with you later this week in preparation.”

“Goody,” Killian grumbled under his breath, earning him an elbow in his ribs.

“Until then… enjoy your new home.”

Killian shuddered and huffed out an exhale. Turning towards Emma, he was met with a stern look and disapproving hands on her hips.

“What has gotten into you?” she demanded.

“What are you--”

“Don’t give me that,” she countered. “You’ve been off all day. Earlier in the shower, then confronting the Lost Ones in the elevator, sassing Pan, smashing vases… Killian,” her expression softened as she reached up to cup his cheek. His face nuzzled into her touch as it was prone to do. “What is going on with you? Talk to me.”

Killian opened his mouth, but the words kept getting stuck in the back of his throat. He didn’t want to lie to her, didn’t want to keep this secret from her, but the alternative…

“I’m scared,” he choked out in no more than a whisper. “Scared I can’t… protect you. Scared that there will come a time when we are truly faced with an impossible choice, or that I’ll have to betray you in some way in order to protect you. Scared that I might be forced to do something you could never forgive. Something I could never forgive myself for.”

“That isn’t going to happen,” she said in an attempt to assuage his fears.

“You don’t know--”

“Yes, I do.” Her tone left no room for argument, but she continued on just the same. “Do you know how I know?” Killian shook his head. “Because I have the same fears. Because I know all of the terrible things you have imagined us having to endure and I have already forgiven you for each and every one of them.” Pressing her forehead against his, she closed her eyes and wet her lips before flicking her gaze up to his once more. “There is nothing - NOTHING - you could ever do in response to Pan’s insanity that I would not forgive you for, just as I hope you would be willing and able to forgive me for--”

“Always,” he said, cutting her off. “There is nothing I would not forgive, love. Nothing.”

A smile ghosted over her lips and she pressed in closer to him. “Then what do you say we get the broken vase cleaned up then make ourselves something to eat, hmm?”

“I suppose I could eat,” he said, pulling back slightly so he could gaze down at her. “Any requests?”

Emma’s brows shot up her forehead and surprise colored her features. “Don’t tell me you can cook.”

“I’ll have you know I am quite deft in the kitchen, Swan.” Waggling his brows, he added, “Almost as much as I am in the bedroom.”

Emma giggled and pulled him in for a kiss, but not before she murmured a final, affirming, “Yep. Total. Forgiveness.”

Part Eleven

#csff #csfic #cs au #cs ff #cs fic #captain swan #killian jones #emma swan #pan says...#words by hollye

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roseus-eli · 3 months ago

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Welcome to my blog!

My name's Eli! (can be pronounced as e-lie or el-ee)

Everything you need to know is under the cut. :)

@angelic-pinkheart is my 2nd blog!

The LGBTQIA+ community is welcome here. :3

I mostly go by the pronouns she/her and they/them (mostly femme aligned), but he/him pronouns are fine too! Mixed pronouns are not a problem for me, either.

I am an afab bisexual aceflux (leaning towards asexuality) demigirl/genderqueer :)

I'm a minor. If you do anything that makes me uncomfortable, I won't hesitate to block you.

I'm Filipino, but I mostly speak English, although I'd be glad to talk to some fellow filos!

I love reading, especially books and fanfics! I also enjoy listening to music and sleeping. I also write, but I rarely post my written works anywhere.

My super duper besties are @cheeeryisaro and @jhikebipolar! You guys should check them both out sometime. :)

My online bestie is @amy-harper!

To all my fandom friends, you guys are also my besties. :]

My favorite fandoms and ships:

Honkai: Star Rail

No specific ships.

The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon/Amy (Shamy for life!)

Leonard/Penny (Lenny, my cuties)

Howard/Bernadette

Penny/Amy, because why not

Stuart/Denise

There might be more if I'm being honest…

Death Note

Light Yagami/L Lawliet

Light Yagami/Misa Amane

Light Yagami/Misa Amane/L Lawliet (I actually don't care too much about this one)

Doctor Who

The Doctor/The Master

The Doctor/River Song

Rose Tyler/The Doctor

Thirteen/Yaz

And many more because there are way too many ships to count

Daria

Daria Morgendorffer/Jane Lane

I haven't really thought too much about the ships but here is another obvious one, Helen Morgendorffer/Jake Morgendorffer

Good Omens

Aziraphale/Crowley (ineffable husbands)

Archangel Gabriel/Lord Beelzebub (ineffable bureaucracy)

Again, there's probably more…

Spy × Family

Loid Forger/Yor Forger

Anya Forger/Damian Desmond

There's probably more fandoms I'm in but I lost count

(Keep in mind, I do occasionally reblog something that isn't related to my favorite fandoms :3)

My AO3 account: roseus_eli

My FF.net account: roseus-eli

also pls don't steal my pfp, I made them both myself ;3

(This intro post will be updated every now and then.)

#roseus-eli #intro post #angelic-pinkheart

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kiliinstinct · 5 months ago

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Chapter 32

Rating: R Pairing: Nalu FF.Net || AO3 [Ch: 1] ||| [Prev] | [Next] Well, this was a doozy and took longer to update than I wanted. Special thanks to @phoenix-before-the-flame as always. And I'd also like to give another special thanks to @genavere for helping motivate me to get this chapter out. A few set backs had drained my inspiration for this and she helped put me back on track! See This Post For News About Future Updates The post linked above is an older one, so I'll also say this here, Flame's Desire Will be back with the Start of Act 3, but like last year, I'm going to take a 2 month Vacation from it to get my stuff back in order. So expect me to come back by the End of August! Enjoy!

Soft breathing broke through the quiet settling in the still room. The chaos that ensued mere moments ago still echoed in the minds of Natsu and Lucy; Both kept their distance from the other, too afraid to speak first.

Natsu sat upon the charred bed, head in his hands. Fingers dug into his scalp as he pulled at his hair in frustration. As if attempting to keep his broiling emotions under control through distracting pain. Holding back a pitiful whine, Natsu grew all-too aware of his reddened cheeks. Not from the magic that sizzled beneath his skin, just waiting to explode at the slightest drop in concentration, but at the shame filled embarrassment that rolled in his gut. Likewise, a similar embarrassment painted Lucy’s face. Sitting on a dust-covered chair in the corner, she twiddled her fingers. Unable to sit still, Lucy crossed and uncrossed her legs, eyes looking this way and that. Her face was burning, her neck and ears pounded in tune with her heartbeat. Searching for a distraction, she kept her gaze everywhere but Natsu. She couldn’t face him.

Not yet.

Both were too lost in the maze of their own minds to figure out what to do next. He could still feel her lips against his; Still taste the slightest hints of her on his split lip. The memory swam behind his eyelids, refusing to sink under the rest of his emotions. Her frame, soft in his arms —and the sheer comfort of having her close — made him feel empty at the loss.

He needed to regain control of his emotions before they clawed their way back up his throat and exploded another hole through the keep.

That was his goal.

It should have been his main focus, but this new development knocked him flat off his feet. He didn’t even have anyone to blame other than his own, impulsive self.

Lucy was a welcome relief that he desperately wanted to cradle in his arms and tightly hold onto. While concerned for his health, she had entered his room without pity, without fear — so unlike what he’d become used to over the last few days. Despite Makarov straining against his own injuries during his visits, it only served to fill Natsu with so much guilt he couldn’t breathe. And then there was Lucy… a balm he feared to lose after his days of isolation.

Once Freed and Levy had visited, mostly to reinforce the runes placed on his door. And though they attempted to speak with him, Natsu had stubbornly pulled the sheet over his head as they worked, refusing to speak with them. He couldn’t stand the pity in their gazes, or the way they tip-toed around him as if afraid he’d pop off a second time.

He’d almost done the same when Lucy had come knocking. It was too exhausting, too debilitating to continue seeing the results of his lack of control. He had been seconds away from shouting at his new visitor to leave him alone until Lucy’s voice broke through his discomfort like a siren song.

It took all the control he could muster not to tear the door off its hinges when he threw it open to see her.

The sight of Lucy gave him such exaltation that he reacted before his thoughts could catch up. Instinct needed to hold Lucy tight and let her calming aura seep into his very being until all he could feel was the gentle magic she possessed, pulsing beneath her skin.

In those span of seconds of holding Lucy tight, the warring thoughts in his mind went quiet and his vision clouded. What came next? … he… he wasn’t so sure after that.

It wasn’t until she bit hard on his lip, palm striking across his cheek, that sense finally returned to him.

Natsu released her immediately, eyes wide as the world froze. He struggled to put together exactly what he’d done while Lucy had spared no moment to scramble as far from him as possible.

When she had slipped in her rush, Natsu was coherent enough to steady her with a hand on her shoulder. But Lucy slapped his hand away with wide eyes. He was confused at first, uncertain why she would wish to run from him, but the sight of her sucking in air as if she’d been drowning, lips swollen as she shook, made Natsu finally step back. A part of him focused on her lips for a second too long before he realized exactly what he’d done.

He really fucked everything up.

Having the time to gather his thoughts and think clearly, Natsu stole a glance towards Lucy as he released his grip on his hair. Her face was still red, but carefully set in a neutral expression that gave nothing of her inner thoughts away. If not for her restlessly twitching fingers, he may have thought she’d gone numb from shock.

“I- … Lucy-” And words stuck like moss in his mouth, filling his throat and lungs until all he could do was stare at the floor.

Seeming to have better control of her vocal faculties, Lucy inhaled deeply as she replied, “I want you to start talking now. And you better have a good reason or else I’m going to make sure my hand leaves a proper mark when I slap you again. You can’t just give a girl her first - “

“I don’t know why I did that.” Natsu interrupted, words practically tripping over themselves as they fell out his mouth.

She paused, her neutral mask cracking, “... it … was a whim?”

Natsu leapt to his feet in a flash, “No!” He protested as an underlying edge of panic filtered through him.

“Then what was it?!” She demanded. “Why-” “I don’t know!!”

Natsu knew it sounded foolish. Ridiculous even, but what else could he say?

Lucy’s mouth fell open, ready to respond in a fury Natsu felt was more than deserved. She had every right to tear into him. The scathing words he expected never came, however, as the words caught in her mouth, only to die a second later. She sighed instead, shoulders sagging as every ounce of her fury escaped through that one, deep, exhale.

Instead, she pinched her nose, eyes shut tight as she struggled to hold back a wave of frustrated tears.

Panic set in. He’d made her cry. Despite her attempts to remain calm, he’d done the one thing he never wanted to do. Reflexively Natsu stepped forward, intending to console her, but forced himself to stay in place a second later. She wanted distance: he should give that to her…. right?

It wasn’t right. Natsu didn’t dare offer comfort now . Not without permission. Indecision and discomfort settled sickly in his stomach as wispy tendrils of smoke curled off his shoulders. His words were useless, coming out faster than he could process as he struggled to say anything that could fix things. But what could he say when he didn’t fully understand his own actions?

“I mean, it’s not like I didn’t enjoy kissing you-” No, that was wrong.

“I mean, I never thought about it before until right now, but -” That somehow sounded even worse!

Growling, Natsu groaned as he tugged at a strand of his pink hair. The stone beneath his feet was starting to melt as the build of magic and emotion grew too much yet again. Ugh, why was this so hard? Lucy wasn’t responding, and he couldn’t look at her again, shame filling his gut like a cascade of stones. Frustration at his inability to explain himself made his eyes water.

What was wrong with him?

Ever since the beginning, he’d been pushing his luck with her. Natsu knew that. What started as duty turned to friendship and friendship turned to… he couldn’t put it into words. It was some connection that compelled him to stay near right until she’d screamed those awful words at him. Despite assuring him otherwise, Lucy’s panic over being touched still echoed in his memories.

It was his fault then. Reminding her of the horrors of their first meeting was his doing. And while he’d once promised never to give her a reason to remember, he’d broken that vow.

First nipping her when he was half asleep at the tower and now this? His knees buckled as he attempted to reign in his magic. How was he any better than the man that night? Forcing himself on her, saying things like–

Natsu stilled, eyes wide. He recalled his earlier words, pounding into his reddened ears, ‘It's about time you got here’

Why did he say that?

He suddenly couldn’t breathe. The heat of his embarrassment and shame was unbearable as he pleaded for her to leave the room. She shouldn’t be here. She didn’t need to see him like this. Natsu didn’t deserve the company, didn’t deserve the chance to explain – his thoughts derailed as Lucy moved, the chair clattering behind her. Grasping his face with cool, soft fingers, she kept his gaze on hers, lowering them both to the floor as she brushed the hair from his eyes. “Hey, Hey, shhh, calm down-” She said, brows knitting together at his answering, pathetic whine, “Your magic is going crazy, shhh.”

Battling with his broiling emotions and the struggle to breathe, Lucy stayed close, prying his hands from his scalp and holding them tight. The words she spoke melding into the background, muted by his own pulse. He clung to her hands like a lifeline, grounding himself as the steam continued to rise off his heated body.

Sweat beaded on Lucy’s brow, his own body heat treating the room like a mini sauna. Strands of her hair stuck to her neck as she powered through the heat. He needed to stay in control, before it became too much, before he -

He tried to tell her to leave again, but she stayed, mumbling quiet assurances that he couldn’t catch over his own, labored breaths.

Seconds turned to minutes. And with time, the air returned to normal as the steam dissipated. Natsu focused on her hands, glowing in a soft, ethereal light, blanketing him in a cold that soothed his magic. When his senses returned, tears were streaming down his cheeks and his body shook from the exertion. “... I’m so sorry-” He pleaded, exhaustion and hopeless desperation bleeding from his every word, “I… I missed you… And then you were here and I hadn’t seen anyone in days and I just- “

He just… what? How could he explain what he also didn’t understand?

“... take deep breaths,” her words finally reached him, talking him through the aching terror in his chest as her magic answered him. Lucy’s magic spilled from her fingertips, flowing freely in warm golden threads that pulsed weakly, wrapping his arms and torso in a soft light. The rhythmic thrums became a subtle call to calm the beast of power inside him.

Her voice pulled him back into focus, “That’s it, just keep breathing. Remember what you told me before? You’re okay, it’s going to be okay. You’re safe. I’m right here.”

Stunned, Natsu blearily lifted his head, confused,“But I-” “Yes,” She clarified, covering his mouth, cheeks still red, “You crossed a boundary, and we’re going to talk about it. But I need you to understand that I’m not going anywhere. You’re still my friend. I didn’t sneak up here just to run away. ”

Her firm declaration forced a startled sob from him. He curled in on himself, finally allowing the grief and guilt to escape him. All that’d he’d held back, the crushing weight of all his wrongs that he’d stuffed away cascaded down his face.

How long had it been since he’d cried so openly in front of another, without the cover of night to hide behind? Since he’d allowed himself to fall apart?

So many secrets, so many things he feared speaking of; And now his Chief, a man he saw as his own family, was permanently injured. The loss of control Natsu thought he’d left behind in a childhood he believed to be separate from himself was coming back to haunt him. And now this.

Lucy didn’t deserve this.

She didn’t deserve his lack of understanding, his inability to control his emotions, his touch, his — the sobs shook his shoulders and he held himself against her. He soaked in the comfort she willingly gave. Apologies tumbled from his lips over and over again until he no longer understood what he was sorry for. She took it in. He couldn’t explain it, but she held him tight and let his emotions spill out of him like an ocean until his eyes burned and the tears dried, staining his face.

When he could cry no more, Natsu held still, spent of his energy. His throat felt raw and bleeding and his stuffed nose was irritating. He knew his eyes hardly fared any better, puffy from his emotions. For a moment, Natsu wanted to cover his face, but he was too tired to move. He chose to wait for Lucy to make the next move, instead.

He’d crossed enough boundaries for one day.

The seconds passed by and Lucy, lost in thought, continued to run her thumbs over his scarred knuckles. It was….strange to see Natsu like this. She knew he had his secrets -everyone did- but to witness him at such a loss was a different thing entirely. It hurt to see her friend so normally full of life terrified of things he couldn’t name.

Just how much was he holding in? How deeply did his grief run?

Lucy didn’t have the answers, but whatever had led him to this breaking point could wait. As he'd done for her, she would help him over this hurdle even if it meant sitting with him till sunrise. Then she'd get answers.

Minutes bled steadily by, matched by the lack of circulation in her legs and the muscles twinging in protest. In response, she tugged him closer, pressing his ear against her chest and continuing the soft circles over the back of his hand that matched the beat of their hearts. A moment of hesitation hung between them when he tensed against her, and she feared he would bolt.

However, that fear dissipated with each labored breath that slowed and left her shivering from the differing temperatures. Slowly, as the tension lessened and his weight increased, she could feel him piecing himself back together—or attempted to. Even a shattered mirror would show the cracks once repaired.

“Natsu?” she hummed his name gently, enquiring.

Burying his face further into her shoulder remained the only answer he had for her, one she seemed to accept for the time. Grateful for the extra time, he focused on the scent on her skin—a distinctly Lucy infusion of spice and something that reminded him of that moonlit night on the beach. Breathing became easier, and his thoughts less muddled.

And that clarity brought a sigh to his lips. There would be no running away from this mess. Lucy was too smart and knew him too well. She’d give him a push, but he’d have to open up first if he wanted this cleared up between them.

“A lot…” —he swallowed through the pain and discomfort in his throat— “a lot happened.”

Lucy snorted, “I couldn't tell-”

“Oi,” He defended, popping his head up and pouting. “I'm trying here. Really.”

“I am, too.” Her voice, a soft caress to the tatters of his being, wormed their way into his chest and stoked the growing ember. Even with her thinly veiled threat that followed, “I’m trying hard enough to give you a chance to explain yourself while I weigh whether I should slap you again for good measure or not.”

Maybe not so thinly veiled, Natsu let out a low chuckle and motivated himself to finally put some distance between them. “I wouldn’t stop you if you did. Maybe you’d knock some sense into me.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he took a moment of reprieve to gather his thoughts—or tried to. He rocked back onto his heels and felt the pull of the freshly healed scars. “I wouldn’t know where t'start, if I'm honest.”

“How about explaining why you were moved from house arrest to an actual cell,” Lucy offered, scooting around to sit next to him and stretched her legs out.

Natsu ran a frustrated hand over his face and flopped back against the cool, stone floor—a welcome balm compared to the emotions stirring inside. “The actual cells are downstairs,” he explained, staring at the ceiling. “This is just the old man’s extra room. He thinks its best I stay here ‘til I get a handle on myself.”

“But he still hasn't told anyone else why,” Lucy interjected, the accusation already pouring from her lips. “It's like everyone who was there is keeping it one big secret!”

“...Probably ‘cause he wants to make sure I wont blow up a room again when he does,” Natsu said with a shrug.

“Oh right, that.” The reminder of the now gaping hole in the keep mollified her. “Why…?” She let the question hang unfinished between them.

Natsu swallowed, mouth dry, ”I lost my temper, and I– I ain't exactly right in the head right now, so I don’t blame ‘em. I scared everyone pretty good when I snapped over something stupid and got tossed in here. And I—it’s just—”

He sighed, trying to gather his thoughts. “Everything's all over the place, and I was just feeling too much when you came in. It was…good to see someone who wasn't staring at me like I was a bomb or something.“

”So…you kissed me because I don't expect you to blow out another wall?“

When she put it like that, he had to wonder why she decided to stay and not turn tail immediately. “No, that’s not…I mean…Yes? Or maybe? I was just feeling too much at once and my body reacted before my brain could.”

Her silence spoke volumes; he quickly raised a hand and continued, ”Don't take that the wrong way or anything! S’not like I'd have done that to just anyone who came to visit! But that doesn't mean I understand why that was the urge I had when I saw ya, either! ...Damnit, why is this so hard to explain?!“

“Because it's embarrassing, Natsu!“ she hissed, covering her face with a whine. ”VERY embarrassing! We’ve never done that before! I’ve never done that! We’re friends! Close friends, but still only friends! We can’t—we don’t—! We don’t even like each other like that, Natsu!”

“…But… I do like you.”

Lucy blinked through her fingers, “...Come again?“

“I DO like you,” He emphasized, scratching the back of his head and realized what his words meant. Not just for himself, but for Lucy, too. Everything slowed as he focused on emphasizing what needed to come across in a form of communication he always struggled with. “At least, I'm pretty sure I do. I’m just not sure what kind of like that is.”

“So you,” she started slowly, trying to understand clearly, “are not sure how you like me?”

“I’m sorry!” he blurted out, fixing his gaze on the wall ahead. “I can't say there ain’t somethin' there, I just haven't really thought about it, and—and after what—'' Lucy heard the click of his teeth as he quickly shut his mouth, backtracking on his words. “ I put you in a weird spot. If you still wanna hit me, you can. I deserve it.”

“No!” She felt him pulling away and felt trepidation choke her. “It’s just...I guess that makes sense?” Her voice wavered, the words more of a squeaking sound. But, a weird sense of satisfaction pushed down the panic earlier as she watched color creep up the back of Natsu’s neck.

It also brought clarification.

Why wouldn’t it make sense, she mentally chastised. Since they had met, every interaction, every emotion that they shared had been carefully tucked away. A connection born from when he had seen her at her worst, and helped her to find her footing in a new place that she wanted to call home so badly. They were…close but even Lucy had to question herself in moments of solitude. Her swiftness in seeking him out when things felt off, the peace his presence often brought.

Their friends could view what they had however they wanted. Tease them from an outsider's perspective.

She had never thought of it beyond the line she firmly drew. Nor did she want to before.

“I’m confusing myself,” Natsu muttered after some time.

Lucy coughed out a helpless laugh, burying her face in her hair. “This is…not how I was expecting all this to go. It’s…” She hesitated, searching for the right word. “...awkward…”

And that was an understatement if either of them ever heard one.

“I’m not happy about what you did.” The words were forced, her lips pursed together as tightly as the grip of her fingers on her skirt. But the words rang true, the bitter taste of lies nowhere to be found.

Natsu mumbled, eyes lowered. “I know.”

Slowly, feeling consumed with emotions she still struggled to name, much less handle, Lucy allowed herself to take in the expanse of his marred back. Earlier, her mind could not grasp the discolored skin, the erratic scarring of Laxus’ magic that warped flesh and muscles. Every raised portion, each jagged edge looked painful even with the healing magic she could feel it doused in.

Would it ever fully fade, she wondered, reaching out to touch without permission.

The skin felt stranger than she had imagined. A softness that belied the truth of how it was imparted. Biting her lip, Lucy carefully moved her fingers to the only spot devoid of scarring over the whole of his back. She caught his gaze over his shoulder and felt the fluttering of her heart at the small glimpse of red on his cheeks and soon the back of his neck again—a similar color to her own cheeks, she knew.

“But it’s something we can move on from right? It’s not… this whole—” She waved a hand around between them, “—This situation between us isn’t what we expected. There is something between us, but, maybe, right now isn’t the best time when neither of us are in the right state of mind to figure it out.

She took a breath, and with a finger and a look, gave him a pointed warning. ”So, just don’t do that again without warning. And, I don’t know, ask first? Then it’ll be fine when we sort ourselves out.”

“Uh, yeah,” he said, stomach twisting and churning, “Yeah, I can do that.”

For a split second, Natsu thought he saw disappointment flash across her face, but it was gone too fast to register. It gave the distinct feeling of missing a step in the dark, but the relief he felt strongly overpowered the sensation. She didn’t hate him. She was fine. She understood, maybe. She wasn't going to leave-

He took a breath, trying to calm the inane spiraling he could feel pulling at his sanity, and focused on Lucy. Heat and iron warring in his chest at the tentatively hope blooming there.

“So,“ he prompted, “are we...good?”

Her smile settled the tension in his heart, the heat radiating outward and the iron raising him up. “Yeah, we're good for now.” Though he didn't have much longer to relax, as her attention turned back to the other elephant in the room, “But you still need to tell me exactly why you’re stuck in here.”

He groaned. Damnit, did he have to tell her all THAT too?!

Their conversation went well into the early morning. Once Natsu began, Lucy couldn’t stop asking questions. It wasn’t until the first chirps of birdsong reached their ears that Natsu cut her questions short, reminding her of the time. “The old man’s gonna be coming soon. He always drops by with food so I don’t eat alone. And he hasn’t been late yet.”

With the time fast approaching, Lucy didn't have time to process their earlier conversation or the retelling of events that happened the day before. What's more, she knew without a doubt that Natsu still hadn’t told her everything that had transpired.

Recalling the way he'd burnt her and the damage to his house, it wasn’t hard for her to accept that he’d lost control of his temper. What she couldn’t accept was laying the blame all on Natsu. Every situation lately had come up after the arrival of that Draconis, Gajeel. This stranger seemed well equipped with enough knowledge to poke the Natsu’ buttons with ease, which she said as much, pressing into the last few minutes they had until she forced herself to leave.

When Natsu heard the truth in her words, he fumbled, eyes darting to the wall as words tumbled from his mouth in quick succession. “And he was a jerk who said too damn much and pissed me off!” He snapped, flinching when Lucy pinned him with an imperious stare.

He skimped on the details of what Gajeel had actually said and she knew it, “... He uhh..I think he knows me, from before I came here. And he said some stuff about that…”

He hated thinking of it. The fact he'd lost sight of friend or foe in that moment, weighed heavily on his shoulders. He didn't want to relive it again, even to tell Lucy the truth.

So he didn't.

"...The others, if I asked them what he said, would that upset you?" Lucy asked cautiously.

Natsu knew Makarov had sworn them to secrecy, it was something the old man drilled into him on each visit, a constant reassurance that his secrets would stay just that. He knew this, but a horrified grimace still shadowed his features from where he lay, telling Lucy all that she needed to know.

Lucy sighed, picking at the hem of her skirt nervously before her final question, "Ok. Then will you tell me when you're ready? I'll wait."

He desperately wanted to say no. The vicious thought of how rumors of his lineage would spread through the village crossed his mind. No, Lucy would never do that, but what if she turned away from him? If he dared to tell her what lay buried away inside, would she still see him in the same light once she knew?

Natsu stayed quiet, nodding instead. She had given him a choice, not a time limit, and he'd tell her when ready.

Didn't she also have things she didn't care to speak of?

Her train of thought followed the same lines as the conversation abruptly ended. Both were unsure how to continue. While Natsu fretted over the details he wished not to face, Lucy reached for him, gently rubbing his shoulder.

"I know it's hard," She murmured, sweeping a stray strand of hair from her eyes, "when all the pain you don't want to think about gets brought up against your will. I understand. ... thanks for telling me as much as you could."

Natsu felt like the breath was stolen from his lungs at that moment. His eyes stung with unshed tears. He refused to cry again, he’d already broken down once. He'd burdened her enough with his lack of control.

"Makarov's gonna be here soon," He reminded, easing away from her touch. He grunted with effort as he rose to his feet, his shoulders tense with apprehension. Lucy looked as if she wanted to call out to it, but fell silent when he offered his hand. “You should get outta here before he catches ya.”

And that was that.

Lucy saw the dismissal for what it was and took the invitation, allowing Natsu to lead her out. But not before crushing Natsu in a tight, desperate hug that made the pressure in his chest better and worse all at once. He sucked in air like a drowning man when she released him, leaving behind remnants of her scent on his skin.

It was dizzying, but relief flooded him the moment the door clicked shut. He had too much to think about after today and his head hurt from the enormity of it.

Lucy, on the other hand, wavered behind the door as soon as she left. Something inside her screamed to stay, to keep him company and damned what Makarov said when he arrived. But she also didn't want to push her luck. They both needed a break, him especially and she...

She leapt back from the door as if it had shocked her, face flaming red as she thought back on their earlier conversation.

Did she... basically tell him she shared the same confused feelings he had?

"Oh god," She whined, panicking, lacing her voice as she rushed back down the stairs, "what did I say that for?!"

Fortune proved to be on her side. Too wrapped up in her racing thoughts to be cautious and hide her presence, Lucy raced down the halls. However none one was around to catch her when she finally made it out into the open air, cheeks still brightly aflame as she ran home.

Lucy thought of many things as she went. Every piece of information circulated from one emotion to the other. Her embarrassment would jump to worry, then to anger and frustration as she thought back to Natsu alone in that room. After blowing up so much of the keep, she understood Makarov's reasoning, but the Draconis' desperate tears as he clung settled against her skin like an invisible brand.

Natsu was suffering... That alone was enough to make her insides squirm and feel sick.

She thought, now that Kage was dealt with, that her odd dreams and premonitions of danger would be long gone, but these new developments overlayed that hope with a deeper apprehension.

Just what exactly was going on?

And that question, wrapped along in the seriousness of Natsu's explosive temper, circled her right back to her earlier embarrassment. Running a finger over her lips– the ghost of her own touch was nothing like the searing kiss that he gave – pulled her deeper into distraction. She struggled to ignore it. Skewed priorities, Lucy figured, but she managed to put the issues aside in lieu of eating the moment her home came into view.

Hopefully the Draconis had his meal already and maybe, just maybe, Makarov would realize just how strained Natsu was with this whole ordeal and change his mind. These were a lot of hopes that Lucy held tightly to as she thought over what dried fruits she had to nibble on for breakfast.

-Only for those thoughts to fly out the window as she opened her door and came face to face with the Chief, sitting calmly at the table as if he lived there.

"What the hell are you-" She shrieked, mind catching up with her just in time to change her wording, "Sorry! That... slipped out."

Amusement crinkled the edges of Makarov’s eyes as he smiled. And for the first time, the romni got a good look of the bandages covering half his body beneath the jacket. Though the table hid most of him from view, Lucy feared the wrappings covered far more than anyone would have liked.

Her earlier apprehension blossomed anew as she shut her door with a shaking hand. He shouldn't be here alone, she surmised. Not with injuries like that. Looking around the room, Lucy searched for any other intruders, pulling a laugh from the elder.

"You're right to suspect another," Makarov said, wincing as his chuckles stretched a sore muscle, "She's next door with Mirajane. Porlyusica wouldn't let me too far from her sight even if I ordered it. And she's interested in giving you another check up."

The ‘she’ll be back soon’ was left unsaid, but understood.

Well, that answered one thing at least. Lucy furrowed her brow, unaware her earlier shock had melted into aggravation. "... Natsu said you were supposed to visit. Whose with him now then?"

A brow raised, “So you've seen him after all, have you?”

Lucy cursed inwardly: busted by her own big mouth.

But fury spurred her onward, kicking respect out the window before she could collect herself, "No one ELSE was telling me anything, were they? I like it here, but the way you keep everyone in the dark while you deliberate with only a few people is almost TOO much for me! You know what? I'm not even sorry. Do what you want with that!"

An aggrieved sigh escaped Makarov as he deflated, slowly repositioning himself to lean against the table.

For that moment, he didn't look the part of an elder or a Chief. Just a tired, hurt man, with too much weight on his shoulders. He looked small. His eyes were downcast, tracing the grooves in the wood without a sound. Almost like a child being scolded.

It was almost enough to mollify her, but not enough.

"You make an excellent point," He said after a time, just when Lucy thought the silence between them would drive her to shout more obscenities at him, "and I'm willing to discuss this. In fact, that's exactly why I'm here. Please, sit down, Lucy, you shouldn't have to over use your magic in your own home."

It was a well-placed observation that made her realize just how tired and sore she felt. The magic she called to support her leg was becoming second-nature, but the drain on her body was immense after a full day of use. She slid to a chair and breathed in deep to collect herself.

It seemed, she was in for another long talk; She mourned the loss of getting a little shut-eye and a light meal.

Makarov wasted no time. Once she was comfortable, he cut to the chase, folding his fingers together as he watched her with a hard, unreadable stare, "I'd like to speak with you regarding your place here in the village. And whether you would consider leaving."

He waited for a response, unaware of his words shooting Lucy’s heart out of her body and into a dark void. The world dropped out around her, suspending her in nothingness.

.... what?

#Flame's Desire #chapter 32 #nalu #natsuxlucy #Lucy Heartfilia #Natsu Dragneel #Makarov Dreyar #End of Act 2 #please dont kill me #i swear the ending is not what you think

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siriuslychessi · 1 year ago

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Hello lovelies!

Since many of you actually replied yes to the poll, I think I'll bite the bullet earlier and expedite things for the gift exchange!

For those of you who don’t know what a gift exchange is, well it’s basically a Secret Santa where you sent a prompt and someone in the fandom will reply with something (a drabble, micro fic, a drawing, edit, moodboard, etc.) by December 28th, just to make the end of the year a bit more cheerful.

To participate you just have to fill this form by November 29th.

A few guidelines (this is long but necessary but I'll put it under the cut):

This is a fun event, for everyone involved. Please keep in mind this if you decide to participate, if you want to join the fun but can't make a gift that's okay too! Sharing is caring so share the event and the works, and of course like/comment/etc!

Respect each other. This is a hard rule, if you start bashing anyone for their preferences you will be taken out from the list. It is important to know that we have differences but that doesn't mean we need to spread hate around our fun groups.

Ship and let ship. There is a space for everyone, and we will try to make it so, there are a lot of Jily shippers in my mutuals, but if this spread to other ships and part of the fandom this will be welcomed, and respected, even if we all agree to disagree.

Communicate. If you have any issues whatsoever with the timeframes, the prompts, etc, please communicate. We want everyone to have a gift by the end of the year. If you can not make it, or need more time, or whatever it is, we will understand, we have backup creators in case something happens.

All creations should be posted on December 28th. Extensions can be granted if informed.

Other things:

The non sensitive information will be shared in a general document, this way if anyone loses their prompt they can go back and check it there.

We’ll have a general list of triggers. We send all the triggers to the Gift Givers so they know not to put things in their works. However, if you prefer to be anonymous about it we will just add the triggers to a full list that the creators need to mind not to us.

The date of publishing is December 28th, your timezone. This is so we all get surprised by the same date.

Tumblr: You can draft the post or add it to the queue if you finish it earlier. Or you can submit it to me and I’ll post it at the proper time.

AO3: there will be a hidden collection in AO3 that will reveal itself at Dec 28th so you can publish there and no one would see the work until then.

FF.net: There is no queueing in that site, you can draft and publish on that date.

None of the above: You can submit it to me and I’ll post it at the proper time.

Tags: Please tag the post #potterversegiftexchange2023 the person you are giving the present to, and the ship.

If you have any questions don’t be afraid to ask!

#potterversegiftexchange2023 #potterverse #harry potter #jily #hinny #blackinnon #wolfstart #remadora #tedromeda #lucissa #marauders

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nozomijoestar · 8 months ago

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I WON THE WAR AGAINST THE WORD DOCUMENT; LA VIE EN ROSE...2!

FF.Net upload | Part 1 post

*I reccomend listening to Sade's 'The Sweetest Taboo' from the last mention of it raining in the story to the ending

READING LIST:

@tofucasserole @xo-mochi @headlessstar @gingeralesy @pierogi-z-czeresniami @dyke-a-saur @denizloves

----

2 L'ESPRIT

Asuka wiped the last of the polish off her bike frame. She’d almost had a heart attack brushing the grime weeks ago to find newborn rust spots. Under this mid-July heat and rain showers she wasn’t in the mood for dumb gambles. For an entire day rust was the first thing she nipped in the bud. Be it at morning or afternoon into sunset she picked and picked then turned to maintenance and replacing all the bolts. Lately she couldn’t pick on Lili for wiping down every few minutes; the humidity stuffed Asuka’s mouth with cotton. Dad’s muscle flares needed more ice while he swallowed a whimper. The three of them practically wore fly paper for clothes, their sweat stuck everything the same.

She wiped her forehead with the clean end of her rag, huffing hot air. A cicada buzzed somewhere. She leaned back and tossed the rag onto a huge cardboard box beside her feet. The bottom bracket and chain had been beyond saving, so were the tires. She had no choice but to give the bike a new heart.

‘I’m gonna turn you into a twelve speed!’ she’d thought.

She’d placed the order for a cassette, bracket, and chain three weeks ago. And that was as far as she’d gotten. There were too many damn choices! Should she stick with parts she was used to for the important areas? Should she go completely new? How much was safe to modify before the bike would ride her and not the other way around?

Thinking hard made her head hurt. The bike had never been a question before beyond if it performed decent for as cheap as possible. But now, now there was a debit card tempting her to burn a hole in her wallet. She had never owned one in her life. The bank teller put it in her hand after she gave her name, and there it was raised on plastic. Several million yen in one place, converted from some of Lili’s ‘pocket money’ into an account she’d opened for Asuka. Holding the desk counter kept her from blacking out on the spot. She remembered Lili mentioning it while flying to Japan; Asuka just blinked at her, speechless. What was it supposed to be if not another trick?

Well, she couldn’t refuse. She stretched and felt her shoulders pop.

“How’s it coming along kid?”

“Still don’t know what I wanna do.”

Dad stopped beside where she had her bike resting on cinderblocks. The entire thing was stripped down to the frame and its dark blue paint shining in the sun. Today his face had color; he didn’t limp or freeze when walking over. He smiled at her. That gave her confidence.

“Whatever you decide on I know it’ll be something you’re proud of.”

He sat next to her on the parts crate after she cleared space. He put his chin in his hand.

“I remember buying you this one since I biked with my friends as a boy. I wish you could’ve had that yourself, but tinkering comes close I suppose.”

“Wish doing the work wasn’t such a headache. Thinking sucks.” She sighed, resting her chin on both hands.

Dad chuckled and clapped her on the back.

“That’s the freedom that comes with growing up! Get started shouldering it now before you’re too old.”

She pouted but let him ruffle her hair. All his cheer evaporated. A grimace brought out the rough lines of his face.

“I’m not gonna be around forever y’know.”

“…Don’t say that to me.” Her voice walked a tightrope.

“Heh! Your pissed off face has gotten better! I’d hate to be some punk’s made you mad now.”

She didn’t grin back and he dropped his act. They said nothing. She didn’t want to tempt this heaviness lurking inside. From a distance the front door slid open.

“Asuka? Quit playing with grease, I must show you something most wonderful.”

Her right eye twitched. Lili glided around the corner in her practice clothes sporting the cockiest smile Asuka had ever seen. She moved so pleased with herself that Asuka’s brow rose realizing she didn’t care about dirtying her bare feet. This was serious. When she saw Dad, Lili went cool and calm. She cleared her throat.

“Mr. Kazama, since you are here as well I’d appreciate your opinion.”

“Of course. Begin whenever you’re ready.”

She set herself into stance; legs shoulder width apart, back straight but not tense, hands open palmed with one low the other at chest height. It was the same way she’d always readied herself, but this time she looked relaxed. Patient, not loose.

Letting out a cry Lili threw herself forward launching her left leg toward an imaginary center. She flung up her arms, pivoting the moment her toes hit ground and twirled, right leg rising as she spun. In the time it took to blink Lili’s right leg snapped into the end of a roundhouse kick. There was no way Asuka could describe it, other than a ballerina imitating a kung-fu movie. And yet somehow, it looked like it would fucking hurt. With an exhale Lili reset her stance.

Then she went low twisting her torso right and thrusting an open palm toward chest height on her rise. She leaned into it until the motion stood her up again. Lili paused for breath. Then she turned around, eyes narrowing as she pictured an attacker. Now it was all striking; she rushed chopping with her left hand where a jaw would be. Asuka leaned forward. Lili turned and rammed her elbow backward, gritting her teeth. Crying out she lifted her arms in time with her left leg. It whipped backward cutting the air forcefully; Asuka’s bangs fluttered.

She winced feeling debris in her eye; when she rubbed it out Lili smirked at her. Finished, she gave a bow, awaiting their approval. Where to start, how to start? What the hell was Asuka supposed to say? Dad should know. She looked at him. His mouth hung open. Asuka felt her spirit bury its face in its hands. Lili’s stare started lingering; the corner of her mouth twitched.

“Well?”

“It’s uh…”

She looked at her father, but his face told her to take a shot at this.

‘Damnit old man!’

Just get it out already.

“It’s one of the crazier things you’ve come up with. But, your hits are strong. Your timing could be tighter but that’ll improve with practice. What’s important is you know your base. And you’ll need a stronger core to maintain enough balance from move to move.”

“Hmm…very good Asuka. I’d add that your kicks were a few centimeters too high. The strikes tapered off and got a little sloppy by the end. Don’t be afraid over leaning into your momentum. That hesitation from overcorrecting will cost you.”

Now Asuka gave him a wide eyed stare; her heart stopped. Those were too many negatives! Reflexively she glanced at Lili, she’d be pissed-

Lili stood unreadable, except for the deep thought in her eyes. Her mouth pursed not enough to be angry but instead contemplative. She started rubbing her chin absentmindedly.

‘Seriously?’

“I see. I shall take this into consideration.”

“When you feel you’ve fixed it come demonstrate again. Matter of fact Asuka should help you improve in no time! Ain’t that right girl?”

Lili smiled at her something wicked. She’d always be some kind of pain.

“Sure…”

“Then it’s settled, thanks for the showing.”

“The pleasure is mine sir.”

He got to his feet groaning into a stretch. A few cricks popped in his neck but he recovered before his wince turned into a grimace. The hairs on her nape rose, but he seemed alright after a once over. He checked his watch.

“Time for my walk today. You girls mind the house good while I’m out. Let me know right away if anything comes up. Be back in an hour or so.”

“Go slow and don’t forget your painkillers.” She called after him.

“Aye aye, already wearin’ ‘em.” He said patting his pocket.

Then they watched him hobble and turn past the gate then close it behind himself; he was gone. Her eyes narrowed at Lili, an annoyed groan rumbled in her throat.

“What?”

“He gets to advise ya however he wants but I gotta not step on your princess toes.”

Lili put a hand on her hip, tucking loose hairs behind her ear. She huffed.

“There’s respect for one’s elders; then there’s one’s peers. Quite simple a concept, Asuka Kazama.”

She shot up, hands balled, her nostrils flaring.

“Ya wanna fight?”

“Not particularly.” Lili threw back, teasing the hint of a smile.

Her stare traced different parts of Asuka’s face; hovering over…her lips? A tingle raced up her spine. She had to be reading into it too hard. But suddenly she felt a poke as Lili tapped her chest. It was just enough force that Asuka’s balance stumbled; she heard her giggle. So she pushed her. Not hard, but when it was Lili’s turn stumbling she smirked at her, as nasty as she could make it. There was only a pause for Lili’s rising brow. Back and forth they shoved each other until someone gave and they fell to the ground.

They rolled around, tussling, cursing, and tangling but Asuka wrestled on top of her with ease. Pinning Lili under her weight she seized her arms and pressed them above Lili’s head. She sucked her teeth.

“Fair’s fair! From now on I get to be honest about your technique the way I wanna talk about it!”

“…Fine. Since you insist, you pest.” Lili huffed.

She let her go and caught her breath.

“Stubborn moron.” She grumbled.

Asuka started feeling comfortable again when everything turned unbearably warm. She looked down. Her heart stopped. She was straddling Lili, who didn’t mind much at all. Instead she saw her little smile that managed to be either self-satisfied or a tease. Scowling, Asuka got off and pulled her up; she wasn’t giving Lili any ideas. Certainly not for free. They dusted themselves but being sticky with sweat barely mattered. What she wouldn’t give for a bath right now.

“Now that you’ve let that out your system this weather is far from my liking.”

She felt a chill watching Lili’s eyes; this girl wanted something.

‘Wait a minute…’

Already Lili was on the move striding toward the front door. Even if she stood taller than Asuka and had longer reach Asuka speed walked right behind her.

“Oh no you don’t, hey! Get back here!”

Immediately she saw her break into a run. The door rattled open. Lili’s blonde hair vanished inside just as the frame came within reach. In a split second Asuka had two choices; try outpacing her, or boost the air around her own legs. But if she did the easier thing she might tear through the floor boards. She sucked her teeth. There was no time! She threw her muscles alone into overdrive.

“Let me wash first you’re gonna take forever in there!”

“The early bird shall seize the worm!”

“Shaddup!”

Asuka slid into a stop, ashamed to feel herself stumble up the stairs. How the hell was this girl so unfazed? Their footsteps thundered, the only thing filling her ears. Suddenly Lili went right; Asuka threw herself reaching out her hand…then crashed onto the floor. The bathroom door shut. She scrambled, getting back up when she heard her voice muffled through the walls.

“I’m undressing as we speak. Don’t you dare step inside.”

Asuka huffed and sat leaning against the wall. What stupid luck. She crossed her arms over her knees, resting her eyes. Then after a moment the water rushed on; Lili began humming. She’d never listened before, because why the hell would she give her that? But it was either waiting here or trailing any dirt that shook off into her room sooner rather than later. And besides, if Lili came out and found her missing, Asuka would have given her the last word.

The humming grew louder bouncing into an upbeat melody. She couldn’t help listening, tapping her fingers on her knee without thinking. She didn’t catch herself smiling.

Scrolling the web on her phone numbed her mind. Classes crawled by on their last day; every teacher wanted to spin a lecture on behaving over summer break. Her bag sat bulging with homework at her feet under her lunch desk. She glanced around. Everyone looked like they were either talking themselves into a standstill or just hanging out. She turned back to her phone. G-Corp armies had crossed the border of another South American country. Asuka flipped her phone shut. She gripped it and her knuckles went white. There was nowhere she could put this feeling of uselessness.

Her eyes fell on the time. Where was Lili? They had forty minutes left. Sure that was the entire lunch period ahead but Lili would never skip.

‘Maybe her class ran late.’

That didn’t entirely make sense, classes here were strict blocks, but it was as good as she could guess.

‘Maybe they want everyone to stay with their year on the last day.’

She waited. Then she packed her empty bento box away. She waited. Should she go looking for her? Her mind mulled it over while her body grabbed her bag and left the classroom. Asuka would never leave her stuff around these idiots in a million years.

Going down a floor was easy enough. When she got to the lower hallway some second year friend circle hid their drinks and lowered their conversations as she passed. Of course people here would’ve heard too. She saw about an even split of people eating or sitting in class and people hanging around the hallways. But the longer she went the crowds started thinning, until there was only a girl holding a bucket of water. The girl stood outside her class door clenching it with both hands. A bead of sweat rolled down her chin when Asuka stopped to cringe. She didn’t even know this school still pulled that old punishment.

“Standin’ in tha’ hall for missin’ homework…Mogami River…” the girl murmured to herself, exhausted.

“Yo.”

“Uwagh! An upperclassman!”

“Sorry ta’ bother ya. Ya in this class with tha’ foreign transfer girl?”

“H-How’d ya know? I mean yeah.”

“I wanna talk with her.”

The girl sighed and the effort made her slouch.

“Tough luck, ya came at the worst time. Teach is keeping us in for lunch. Some lecture about current world events and feelin’ involved.”

“Seriously?”

They looked in through the window on the room’s rear door. Inside most second years had their food out and sat eyes forward. At the front a teacher paced up and down, pausing sometimes to write on the blackboard. She couldn’t make anything out clearly. But she found Lili by the beacon that was her blonde hair. She sat in a middle row not back enough that she’d see Asuka easily, but not so thick in everyone else. She wasn’t looking anywhere but the teacher’s face anyway. Her fork played with her food without Lili giving how rude that was any mind.

The teachers voice Asuka could make out in muffled sections. She heard phrases like ‘remain vigilant’ and ‘remain in touch with family’ or ‘cherish your loved ones’. He told people to not panic but remain cautious. Every topic bent Lili more and more out of shape. Asuka could tell; her shoulders began slouching, her body seemed rigid. Her head tilted the way it did when she knew she’d been called out but was pretending otherwise. She seemed…sad.

Asuka felt chills; what the hell would steal that girl’s confidence?

“So ya see, everybody’s stuck ‘ere, probably ‘till school’s out.”

“S’alright. Thanks fer tha’ help.”

“Yeah! Any time.”

She looked down. The girl’s hands were a flaming red.

“…Why not put tha’ bucket down when no one’s watchin’.”

“Ah. I said I’d hold it, so I’m holdin’ it!”

Asuka shrugged.

“Guess I can respect that.”

School finally ended a bit later, and this time they would meet. She went straight to Lili’s classroom the moment the bell rang. Everyone but those on cleaning duty crowded as they left; she didn’t spot her. Then she felt eyes at the back of her head and knew.

“How polite of you to meet me first for once.”

“Yeah yeah. Ya went missing earlier so I’m here to collect.”

“No need in feeling shy; your gesture is appreciated. My teacher most unfortunately prevented our lunch appointment.”

Asuka gripped her bag strap. Her eyes narrowed.

“Walk and talk with me.”

They tailed the thinning crowds heading for the shoe lockers. From the corner of her eye she watched Lili top to bottom. Her mood seemed normal. There had to be a weakness if Asuka studied hard enough. A cold, gross, off feeling still sank her stomach. Why had Lili been so tense?

“Yer not hidin’ more from me are you? No big stuff?”

“I don’t know where this inquisitiveness is coming from but there is nothing you need concern yourself with. I’m sure there’s nothing more to get worked up over since you visited me. I’m in one piece as you can see.”

Shit! That underclassman had squealed! Well, of course she would, she was just being a good person. No helping that.

‘Better than I’m actin’ now I guess.’

“You…you’d lemme know if there was somethin’ bothering you.”

Lili looked at her with the closest Asuka had seen to concern since she’d got that black eye.

“If it’s relevant I will. You’re being oddly persistent on this.”

Asuka thrust a finger at her.

“’Cuz yer carrying yerself weird! Like, more than how weird you always are.”

Lili’s brow rose.

“You like me that much do you?”

“Ugh! Why do you turn what I say into something else...”

She heard a sincere gentle sound, light and airy, that just as before made her chest jump. Lili giggled without teasing her. Asuka’s face flushed, out of embarrassment or some other thing she wouldn’t dwell on. She shrugged it off. Lili looked prettiest like this.

The shoe lockers were coming into view when they saw a shape rush toward them. In seconds their hands were raised, bags hitting the floor. A boy jumped and yelped, but he got himself together as if he’d been waiting all along. Slowly, Asuka lowered her guard. Lili followed suit throwing Asuka a worried look before she pinned the boy in her gaze. He stuttered finding his words, pointing at them.

“I knew it! You two fought at the seventh Iron Fist; you must be friends with the Mishima Zaibatsu, wanting their prize money!”

“Repeat that again you pathetic weasel and I shall-“

“You watched it live didn’t you? So what?”

“Everyone else can pretend things are fine and hide from the truth, but I know better. Both of you are willing to play with the Mishimas. They must have made you agents. Two more recruits for the Tekken Force!”

His chest puffed, his nostrils flared, his eyes were huge, red, and furious. Neither of them moved hell she swore she didn’t even see Lili blink. Her heart thudded fast and thick shooting pins and needles. He took the stunned silence as an opportunity. The people still on their way out started peeping at what would be the final gossip of the semester.

“Especially you. You’re the heiress to Rochefort Enterprises aren’t you? I’m not stupid. They got bought out by the Zaibatsu for their oil supply. Then they blew up the world. It’s your fault! You’re a fuckin plant!”

Lili went pale, a milky see through white as if her blood gushed out all at once. Asuka saw him strike before his own body knew. She moved. Her hand closed over his fist; it barely stung. What a scrawny little shit. He tried squirming free but her grip was steel. Then he remembered he had another fist. She caught that too. Asuka squeezed, watching him go limp and wheeze, his forehead got sweaty.

“That’s no way to talk to girls. One more word out of you and I’ll stop being so nice.”

He gasped in breathless pain the more muscle she used. He nodded fast, then faster. She grabbed him by the collar.

“Get the fuck outta here. Now!”

Releasing him almost brought him to his knees. He clutched his bag as he turned, tripping over his feet as he ran. She watched until the squeaking of his school slippers faded. Asuka dusted off her hands and slung her bag over her shoulder.

“Let’s go, Lili.”

That snapped her back to life. Lili picked up her bag in a trance. She never left her side or said a word going home, until the front door was shut behind them.

Asuka crossed her arms over her gi. Gathering herself, Lili launched into a handspring, thrusting her legs as one during the arc. Asuka hummed thoughtfully. It looked cleaner and this time she didn’t collapse on the landing. She took another pause for breath, and then switched to the weird ballet routine she’d demonstrated before. In just a few days the movements were snappier, some gaps were closed. Asuka tightened her fist. Some random, spoiled girl could fine tune herself in ways that took months or years for others. Lili wasn’t a prodigy, but that didn’t make it less ridiculous.

Lili wasn’t into screwing around. Even if something she did looked screwy, the execution was a viper’s bite coming from five steps ahead. Asuka felt her face harden for how many times she’d taken bites.

‘No wonder she felt confident jumping into tournaments.’

Still, she kept over relying on aggression and footwork as her biggest defenses. And for both as defense, there were gaps to be filled.

“No more exhibition. Lemme show ya a few techniques.”

Huffing, Lili wiped her sweat away and stepped back. The exhausted flush darkening her face stood against her alert eyes. There was always a hunger there. It never stopped making Asuka’s skin crawl as much as whipping her heart; there was a mirror there. The part of Lili’s lips when she panted yanked her train of thought. She yanked it right back before her body got too warm. The corner of her mouth twitched when she composed her face. She stood apart from Lili by a few paces and cleared her throat.

“Since you’re tall you’re sorta harder to toss around, but it’s not impossible. Plus there’s another use fer your long legs. Fer example,”

The narrow of her eyes was Lili’s only warning. Asuka took a running start then flung sideways arcing through the air. Her waist shifted until she flipped head down and legs up on her descent; shin and foot together fell stronger than a hammer.

Lili gave up on dodging. Asuka saw the blur of her arms rising into a guard shifting weight into her stance. At the last second before gravity took control, she moved herself off center. Anything at full force and she’d break her wrist. A tailwind burst when Asuka hit bone, almost shaking Lili’s hair undone. Her eyes widened. Instead of sinking to her knees Lili yelled and bent low then sprung pushing Asuka backwards. Quickly Asuka spun into a landing.

“That was good.” She gasped.

“Good? You could have knocked me out!”

She smirked.

“Exactly. That’s what your opponent will think before everything goes dark. You countered pretty well.”

“I see.” Lili said shaking her reddening right wrist.

“We call it Thunder Fall Kick. All I’m doing is a cartwheel with the momentum of my body behind me as I fall. Give it a try.”

For a second Lili gave her a look to be sure. Asuka nodded. She let her stretch, then came the run. It was too fast and she soared into the cartwheel just to tumble out of it. Lili barely managed rolling for safety when she landed.

Lili huffed, glaring at her to not laugh or say a word. Her second try sailed through the air; she saw Lili’s lean muscle flex pulling strength from her core. It looked like something from an Olympic routine than martial arts, but it was a start. With nothing to hit but the floor she ended it in a split. Panting she rolled into sitting cross legged. Asuka walked over clapping her hands slowly.

“Alright alright that’s better. This way lets you either get them on the first hit or scare them into taking the second one. Hold onto that. I’ve got another one for you.”

“I would think nearly flipping myself into a concussion was enough.”

“Well smartass you need more reversals, since you can’t bother bruising your pretty skin.”

Her chest did a leap watching her go pink and stammer; Lili pouted, stomping herself up.

“For this you use the momentum of the attacker against them. It’s different from the others I showed off because this uses more force. Try striking me.”

This time Lili glared but her eyes promised to obey. Her left fist moved fast but not fast enough. Asuka caught it by the wrist yanking it down then stepped behind her in the same motion. With gentle force she locked her free arm around Lili’s neck, bringing her sideways. All at once she fell, tipped off balance, Asuka her guide. They spun letting her right hand cup Lili’s chin before she could yell. In the time it took to blink Lili fell on her back.

“That’s Aiki Nage.” Asuka said coolly.

Groaning Lili tried sitting up, just to slide back down.

“My body is jelly.”

“C’mon I wasn’t so rough.”

“We have very different definitions for that word.”

Asuka snorted and smiled.

“Yeah, I guess we do.”

She pulled her up so she could sit. She tossed her towel into Lili’s lap and sipped some water.

“When yer ready we’ll practice Thunder Fall Kick and Aiki Nage fer today.”

Steady, steady, their forms grew in sync.

‘Hey. Is what that guy said at school true?’

‘I see you insist on inviting yourself in.’

‘Shaddup. What the hell do you call what you’ve done to me?’

A pause.

‘My family, Father is...nothing cures his broken heart. Jin Kazama took everything. There were phone calls and camera footage; hundreds of Tekken Force soldiers had raided the oil fields. We kept our personal assets, he granted us that mercy, but Rochefort Enterprises folded into the Mishima Zaibatsu. You’ve seen the global news since. World War Three.’

Asuka’s concentration slipped; wind rippled off her punch. Part of the draft clipped her right ear and she winced. The wound was thin, she didn’t feel much blood. But, alone, it took nothing for her memory to dunk her head again. She centered herself. The air tamed behind her punches.

‘Yer fuckin’ kiddin’ me. What’re you wasting time here for? You oughta be home with him.’

‘Don’t talk as if I hadn’t tried! I hunted Jin, bastard he is. The sixth Iron Fist was supposed to be my revenge. I meant to take it all back, but a man called Lars bested me in combat the moment I arrived. Clearly he has broken his promise to kill that scum.’

‘…Yer dad’s still got ya though.’

Lili’s eyes had been so far away.

‘That walking corpse is not my Father. It only pretends.’

She hadn’t known what to say. And when she awkwardly patted her shoulder Lili had spoken like she might break,

‘I couldn’t even see you.’

‘…I coulda kicked his ass if I found ‘im. But he got away on his murder spree. An’ I guess we never got matched in tha’ brackets. Since, y’know.’

She’d crossed her arms and an idea made her brain go tingly.

‘Wait. Did ya find me at school back then cuz ya really, really, really wanted ta’ see me?!’

‘You. Are unbelievable.’

‘Ya scared me and I dropped my lunch on tha’ ground!’

‘It was not my fault you hadn’t secured it to your bike!’

‘Like it’s normal fer limos ta’ cut people off in tha’ road!’

In the here and now Asuka let another punch loose; sweat flew off her brow. The breeze whistled just for her. Good! She should try legwork next. Standing, she kicked high, hopping into another with her other leg. But the moment her second leg started rising she lurched sideways like someone tugged her ankle from underneath. She collapsed in a heap.

“Shit! That hurt.”

She got to her feet. On the next try she full body flipped and splat facedown. Groaning, Asuka gripped her hair. It’d been like splashing waves at the beach, where you’d kick the water one way but it got everywhere else. Not using her legs for stability felt the same as climbing stairs by sliding up the handrail.

Hold on.

She readied again and closed her eyes. Imagine stairs…

Asuka ran, the sound pounding her ears, hopping, snapping into one kick then another. Her feet climbed as if there were steps for less than three seconds. Keeping herself from flying into the ceiling she pictured falling, gravity touched her again. Asuka let herself sink on a knee, her chest heaving, and every cord of muscle she had burned. Rest first. She sat and slicked back her hair.

The good:

She was able to concentrate air into pinpoint areas and shapes. Visualization worked best.

She could keep herself from spinning out if she paced it.

The force behind her momentum was at least twice stronger than normal.

The bad:

For now there was no way she’d last very long without hurting herself.

If she didn’t maintain focus she couldn’t power up fast enough; opening her to attacks.

Even while focused, the set up took long enough she still risked being vulnerable. But she had a better chance of canceling it if she kept some awareness.

She wiped her brow on her crop top. Going up meant with enough practice she could go down just the same. That had to be true. What if there were stairs that dropped into nothing? She stood and stretched, gathering her courage.

‘One more time.’

Asuka took another running start, not a sprint but almost, climbing the air. At the highest point she looked down. Now! She flipped and threw out her left leg; the ground raced closer and closer, her kick a speeding bullet. Suddenly her stomach sank, fear wanted to save her life. Shit! At the last moment she managed a roll, breaking the fall. Asuka gnashed her teeth.

It’d been the flip; the stupid flip! Instead of conserving power she wasted part of it on extra movement. Dad shook his head and grunted in her thoughts. Even Lili wouldn’t try something so dumb. This was about timing. She flopped on her back, scowling. Patience was so damn hard! Something…there had to be something here. What if she jumped higher straight into the dropkick? No, switching up so suddenly and adding another rising step would stop her dead. The enemy would fill in the gap more effort created with less chance for an escape. So if she closed distance before they could while staying on the offense…

‘I should kick off them first!’

One set of climbing hop kicks should carry the momentum to bounce off someone’s head. Then she’d wind another kick as she fell! And while she was open they’d be too stunned to do anything back.

She got to her feet. There was more work ahead.

“What happened with your ear?”

Dad’s eyes locked on her band aid; dinner went quiet. Lili started pretending she was moving food around to pick it up. The tension in her jaw was too obvious. Asuka did her best not to miss a beat.

“Scratched it while workin’ on tha’ bike. I had to unscrew a bolt and tha’ damn thing was wound tight. Went flyin’ by my head. S’not tha’ bad, just stings.”

She felt him searching her face as she kept eating. In reality she hadn’t done any work past polishing for a week. With a mouth full of rice it’d be rude for him to make her talk.

“Yer not lookin’ great around the eyes either. And ya keep asking fer seconds. I don’t want ya spending all yer free time on that bike, ya hear?”

She swallowed a gulp of food big enough for Lili to throw her a funny look.

“Yeah alright I won’t.”

“I’m serious Asuka.”

“I said I won’t Dad. Don’t worry.”

He glared and she played it cool, raising a brow ‘There more ya wanna say?’ Finally he sighed and started digging into dinner again. She took another bite; Lili was staring, holding a question so bad her face went red. ‘What the hell are you doing?’ her eyes shouted. Asuka sipped her Pocari Sweat, glancing away.

She lay belly down on her bed flipping through the newest Cycle Sports while Lili sat at the desk. There were pages and pages of new bikes made for any use a person could think up. Scattered in between were reviews and interviews, bike route guides, until she landed on the parts ads. Her jaw dropped. Clincher tire prices had hiked to almost five hundred thousand yen a piece. Even the mid-range speed cassettes sat close to a million. In a red and yellow font the magazine gave a paragraph next to a cartoon drawing of a cyclist apologizing.

Customers, we ask your patience regarding price point and shipping at this time. Due to global shortage our sponsors are experiencing significant delays in resource procurement and assembly. Prices will now reflect-

Asuka’s eyes glazed over the page. She set the magazine down and sighed.

“What’s the matter?”

“Fixin’ my bike’s gonna be the same as buyin’ a house. Everything’s gettin’ too damn expensive.”

She flipped through Cycle Sports again covering her face.

“For regular people y’know not you.”

Lili stopped applying her makeup, glaring at her, and then kept brushing her cheeks.

“Ah yes more biting wit from a comedic genius. No matter, money won’t be a concern. Get whatever you like.”

“Yer being weirdly cool about this.”

“Take me with you on your ‘Gang Mediation’ hunts.”

“A- wha- Are you crazy?! No!”

Lili uncapped a thin dusty pink pencil and started outlining her eyes.

“We’ve been training over a month and I refuse to continue being locked away without real world practice. There’s no point in learning anything if it isn’t applied.”

“No.”

“Oh why not?! I traveled the world getting into battles long before I met you.”

“Fighting for yourself doesn’t mean you can follow someone else’s rhythm. Teamwork is coordination! If you get hurt…I gotta think about you and keeping creeps away. We’d be screwed.”

She heard the pencil clatter on the desk. Lili leaned in the chair arms crossed; the irritation could’ve rolled into steam off her face. Asuka shuddered.

“I see. You’d rather keep me imprisoned in this bird cage so I’ll be under your thumb. It’s enough to control how much I know and how I use it; never mind a day coming where I would need teamwork yet find myself vulnerable. Or perhaps you doubt yourself.”

Asuka stammered, a pit opening in her stomach swallowing all her thoughts. She put her chin in her hand, covering her mouth, her eyes shifting.

“That’s not guaranteed…and no shit I can handle anythin’! It’s got nothin’ to do with doubt!” She cried, her voice wavering at the ends.

“What I know for certain is whatever cut your ear wasn’t as ridiculous as a bike bolt. Really, you call that lying to your father?”

She shot upright on the bed.

“Don’t assume I did that for fun!”

“I never said as much. But you’ve got quite the nerve to lecture me when you’re the one hurting yourself.”

Asuka sank sitting cross legged and sighing as she stared her down.

“Fine. You can come. But yer still listening to me out there; if I say ‘get out’ then go home.”

“I knew you’d understand. That settles it. Now, which of these colors is prettier?”

Lili picked through the makeup kit replacing Asuka’s PC keyboard and held up a little tube bottle in each hand. On the left was something rose pink; pale enough to look almost natural but still wasn’t. The other was dusty lavender with a matte texture noticeable without opening it.

“What’s that gotta do with- oh, the pink.”

“Excellent.”

She smiled at Asuka with her perfect teeth and turned back to her mirror, uncapping the bottle. Asuka absentmindedly flipped through the glossy pages showing new bikes. Between each she snuck a glance, watching the care with which Lili painted her lips. If it seemed like she’d get caught she darted her eyes to a random spot on a page. But as time passed, the longer she watched anyway. Until, of course, it’d be safer to just read.

Not long after she heard her throat clear and looked up slowly. Asuka’s eyes widened; she gasped softly.

“So? What do you think?”

Lili pulled any chance of forming a sentence from Asuka’s throat. She was more or less the same, but now with a soft definition to her cheeks. Thin pale orange eyeshadow dusted her lower eyelids making her pink eyeliner wings pop. Her eyes were the blue of a sky against those dusky colors. Her lips were glistening and vibrant without overpowering the natural curve and shade. Really she was,

“Beautiful.”

Lili put her chin on her hands so they framed her face like a ‘V’. She grinned. Asuka’s entire body throbbed, the air blazed like every drop of blood rushed to her head.

“I mean no, ya look like those models on beauty mags or whatever. Nothin’ that special. It’s just…good.” She stammered out.

Her brow rose when she saw her pick up a blank index card of blotting paper for her fountain pens. Lili pressed it to her mouth, giving it a hard kiss. Then she took a sheet of laminate and carefully sealed it. Asuka stared, the spell of the entire thing demanding she watch. When she saw the paper handed to her she accepted, afraid to use any force.

“Since you enjoyed this shade keep it.”

“…Thanks.”

She got a smile and a wink; and at once she became shy yet lighter than air.

That night in bed Asuka strained her eyes tracing and retracing the card. The pink was still visible against white paper, as moist and bow shaped as the mouth it’d been on hours ago. She ran her finger along the outline afraid it’d smudge anyway.

Closing her eyes brought Lili’s face clear as day. Here she could touch her or stare without any nagging worries. She could run fingers through her hair knowing it would be silky smooth. This time she cupped her cheek, tracing her thumb along Lili’s mouth. Lili gave her one of those inviting stares; the kind where she was both reading and listening. Their eyes fluttered half shut as Asuka brought her closer. But of course, she could only hover over her pink lips. Lili turned away.

Asuka opened her eyes. Night stayed. Her hand not holding the card gripped her sheets. She tucked it under her pillow, furthest from where her head might crush it. She rolled over finding Lili’s shape on the futon. Asuka watched until her eyes grew heavy. Then she fell asleep.

Shinsekai was bright and sunny ignoring them as they walked. She scanned around finding the usual. Families, friends, people by themselves, a foreigner here and there- all present. The world was in order.

“Quit scowling like that. It’s such beautiful weather today; really one would be an idiot to want to cause trouble. And look-! There’s a giant octopus on that building!”

“This isn’t a date! We’re hunting morons. Takotsuba’s ain’t a bad spot for later though.”

“I shall hold you to that. Don’t forget.”

“Yeah yeah.”

“Oh! And that tower beyond it, what a fascinating industrial shape.”

“Tsutenkaku? Sure sure that too but are you gonna help or not?”

“Ugh. I dislike this side of you. Why not pay a few people and have them stir up some thug looking types? We’d net more off the street.”

Asuka groaned pulling her aside; she poked her chest.

“I don’t start fights. I break them up. I end them, got it? No schemes.”

Sucking her teeth Lili brushed her bangs from her face.

“Since you insist.”

Asuka sighed and scratched her head.

“Let’s check the alleys or around convenience stores an’ parks. Anywhere it’s easier for people ta’ gather.”

“Lead the way.” Lili said behind a wolfish grin.

And it made her heart skip finding the same hunger Asuka knew in her eyes.

They got lucky; several boys were shouting as they passed Naniwa Nishi Park. She stopped, pressing herself against the wall; Lili followed suit. She peered over the gate and counted ten standing around an abandoned dohyō. The rope boundary was frayed, dirty, but they split themselves even down the ring. The shouts turned to yelling when someone threw a punch, opening himself to get tackled. A few boys at the edge cheered the fight on. A closer look, they all had bruises. Asuka took a breath.

“Alright. It’s ten of them and they’re already kicking the shit out of each other. This should be easy if they’ve tired themselves out.”

“What are we waiting for then? Let’s pummel them.”

She put her arm in front of Lili.

“Don’t get cocky. I can’t protect you from everything.”

Lili huffed, rolling her eyes.

“Your repeated warnings have been noted.”

“It helps making sure you take them one at a time too.”

Pushing past Lili growled teeth flashing as she stomped in their direction. Asuka groaned running after her. One by one the boys turned their heads and tapped their buddies.

“Idiot I’m supposed to go first! Come back!”

The two boys wrestling in the dohyō stopped hitting each other over the head. Immediately the jeering went silent. Lili stood in front of them, hands on her hips. The closer her legs carried her the better Asuka saw their faces. Her hairs went up. It wasn’t the hunger she knew in her reflection, the kind making boys piss themselves when she knocked out teeth. These guys wore something darker checking Lili up and down. She'd heard about this; guys who'd want her on her back while they took turns. Guys saw you as meat and knew exactly the cut they wanted, what type of hungry they were as they took their time before passing you off for their friend's fun in your body. Her stomach sank. She quit running; now she sprinted across the open field.

“Halt sirs! Cease behaving like ruffians this instant! How shameful doing this in a public place. There must be a better way to get along.”

“Oh yeah? We’re all ears princess. Maybe we can help ya think of some.”

Asuka’s vision narrowed to the center of a boy’s head. She climbed. Her hop kicks slammed him one two, the first step his waist the next knocking his head back; an explosive sound rocked her senses. Around her she thought she heard someone yell ‘was that a fucking gun?!’ She gritted her teeth. Now! She brought her left leg down riding gravity. He flipped ass up still spinning from her force; Asuka’s kick hammered him. The ground cracked swallowing him head first. A burst of wind whipped her hair biting her skin.

She landed. The boy’s legs went limp above ground, the rest of him nail straight in dirt; he looked like a tacky art piece. Everyone froze staring with bulging eyes. In the split second between getting up and resetting her stance she saw the boy closest to Lili move for her.

“No more talkin’! Knock ‘em out!” Asuka shouted.

A boy threw a right hook, she grabbed his wrist and flung him forward, his body flipped bouncing his head on the landing with a crunch. The next charged wanting to spear her. Asuka side stepped, roaring, and stepped into her weight. She thrust an open left palm slamming him in his solar plexus. He flung backwards, bouncing, crashing against three boys who collapsed easier than bowling pins.

Lili shoved another boy off then crushed his toes under her square boot heel. He yelped opening him up for her kick striking his shin. As he crumpled Asuka saw her half cartwheel with her hands behind her back. The first kick crushing him gave her ground enough to slam her next one square on his dick. He howled, screaming as if someone wouldn’t stop stabbing him again and again. Jumping off him Lili kicked the closest boy Asuka had knocked down in the head before he could stand. Beside him his two friends screamed. Then Asuka was on them.

They lay pinned under the bodies, squirming but only sinking themselves deeper. She slammed her boot under the chin of the boy screaming loudest. His teeth scattered across the dirt, blood flying from his mouth. His friend gave up struggling. As she wound back her fist she twisted off balance; another one had tackled her. Quickly Asuka grabbed his forearms as he grabbed hers. Their feet shuffled trying to steady themselves. His sweaty, growling face sat a hair away from her nose. He pressed down his weight but she rocked herself shifting the balance. Her heel gripped on the dirt in the struggle. She grinned. She kicked his shin knocking him sideways.

His hands lost grip; Asuka spun him around, booting his back like kicking in a door.

“Lili! Behind ya!”

Lili dodged an attack turning just in time to step in. She thrust both palms hitting his middle and spinning him on his face. Asuka ran toward her, past her, throwing herself behind a kick that folded a boy flinging him several meters. Quickly she glanced back and found her dodging the last one to free himself from under his friend. He went down easy.

The last boy standing whimpered shaking like a shitting dog; sweat dripped down his face, his clothes soaked. Asuka put a hand on her hip. Lili rejoined her, huffing as they glared at him. He glanced back and forth between them. A word started stuttering out his quivering mouth but Asuka’s brow narrowed and he swallowed it. Dust swirled as a breeze passed.

He swallowed again; she read fear overpowering the shock in his eyes. He twitched, panting so hard he could pass out any second. Asuka slid back her foot. The boy let out a ferocious scream and charged raising a fist. Lili jolted but Asuka stepped in front of her. He ran wobbly as if coated in honey. Everything was slow. The rustling leaves and grass, the wind through her hair, the clouds as they drift in the sky. She raised her fist. One punch; he dropped instantly.

She sucked her teeth rolling him over with her foot. Out cold he could only be peaceful.

“Moron.”

“Well then, I must say, what a hell of a- AAH!”

Asuka whipped around. The boy she’d sent flying into his friends rushed Lili from the side. She didn’t think. The world fell away. Her body moved. Wind curled along her forearm down to the fist; everything became a single point. Asuka let it fly.

His jaw gave way butter smooth under her knuckles. She felt the teeth dance across her skin scattering into shards. Then all at once the air exploded. A storm swirling in its burst blew at the impact. Her ears grew full; a droning whine cut any sound. She couldn’t see him, only a hazy shape speeding down a wind tunnel. That something skipped along the ground with a stone’s weight a long, long time. Barely, just barely, it stopped before the park fence.

She took a breath. Suddenly the ground grew closer.

‘Ah shit. I’m fallin’.’

Lili caught her arm pulling her back on her feet. She felt herself be pat down, but her vision was such a blur things returned to focus one by one. The newest thing she felt was Lili’s warm hands on hers. She focused on her making herself feel real again.

“My god, that looked as if it should have killed you both. How are you bleeding so little?”

Lili held Asuka’s hand at her chest; pricks of blood oozed on her knuckles. She tried asking her for a bandage. Instead Lili took the hand to her mouth and started sucking each spot gently. Her lips were soft, careful. There was nothing she could say, nothing she wanted to say. It was pure instinct when she let out a shaky gasp. Her eyes fluttered fixed on her. Warmth from her tongue melted the barely there pain. Then all too soon Lili finished and Asuka had never been more disappointed at air on her skin. The bleeding stopped. Lili wiped her mouth.

“Hardly worth a handkerchief.”

“Thank…you…”

She huffed out still heavy to the bone. Lili smiled, giggling quietly and pleased with herself. Asuka took a step; she may as well be wearing cement bricks. Her chest dipped. Again Lili grabbed her, plucking her really with how tall she was. Asuka groaned.

“What a pain in the ass. Dad’s not gonna believe we were just hangin’ out. And now I feel like I’m gonna fuckin’ drop.”

Lili scoffed.

“I should be insulted with how often you disregard my many talents.”

“Huh?”

Lili put two fingers to her ear. A short beep followed- since when had she been wearing an earpiece?

“Hello, Sebastian? No I only require the limo. Yes.”

She heard her give him the address. Was Sebastian the same as the old man she saw when Lili arrived? He’d been driving when Lili showed up at her school just for a fight. They had to be the same guy. Whatever, everything was so heavy. He could come bringing a stretcher and it’d be better than standing here. The fantasy of lying in bed letting her muscle aches melt made her smile. She almost didn’t hear the rasping cough at their feet. Asuka jolted, stepping back as Lili ended her call.

One of the boys crawled toward them bloody and lumpier than potatoes. Breathing seemed to take the life from his lungs with each drag. He stopped at Asuka’s boot. He craned up his neck and she found the strength to glare.

“You…it’s gotta be you. Word got around. I thought those wind moves were bullshit. Yer tha’ demon who put Takeshi in tha’ hospital. He needed a full body cast y’know? He might not walk again.”

Her eyes were cold.

“Am I supposed to care? If he wasn’t such an idiot attacking me he’d be fine. He did it to himself. He shoulda been stronger.”

“Yer fucking crazy!”

Lili crushed her heel over his head; that finally made him go limp. Asuka’s eyes widened turning and finding satisfaction as much as hatred. She opened her mouth. She wanted to correct her, wanted to get upset. But she remembered his face at the start. Her eyes narrowed, mouth twisting. Asuka kicked him for good measure. Then she kicked him again, again, and again letting his bruises bloom blood. Lili joined in one last time letting out a yell. Asuka spat beside his head. They looked over the bodies.

“Good riddance. Is this what you’ve been doing? Leaving a trail of carnage?”

“I ain’t kill anyone!”

Lili turned staring at the boy lying limp near the park gate. She started walking not waiting for Asuka or rushing in the slightest. Her heart jumped up her throat. She followed half running while his body came closer and closer. All her thoughts vomited out.

“I didn’t hit him like that on purpose. That much force, tha’ wind curlin’ like that I had no idea I could hit that hard. There’s no way he’s dead. I didn’t wanna kill him!”

“Will you cease your incessant prattle? Look at him, he’s breathing.”

Barely. If he didn’t get treatment soon it’d be game over. Lili hummed thoughtfully and stroked her chin. She leaned over him.

“Though I’m very certain the human jaw should not bend this way. Nor appear so, floppy. And not a single tooth left either. Impressive.”

Asuka made herself look at him. The length of his jaw sagged clearly broken, but the way it twisted sent shivers through her. It curled the same as the tailwinds she left behind. But, at least she hadn’t killed him. No one could blame her for that.

“Thanks ya damn weirdo.”

Lili looked at her, annoyed. Asuka put her hands on her hips.

“I presume then this is what cut you. That sort of power, you became a living hurricane.”

“H-How’d you figure? I’m not some amateur when I train and this doesn’t mean I can cut-“

Sighing Lili slowly fanned out her dress skirt. Dozens of tiny tears split the fabric to the seams. Several sections of lace looked like they’d been put through a shredder. The one saving grace was that her skin stayed covered. Somehow.

“Yer kiddin’ me…”

“This is couture costing over a hundred thousand euros. However, in this instance, I shall forgive you.”

“Ya better, cuz no way I could pay that fuckin’ bill.”

“Do not insist I should change my mind.”

Asuka swallowed and looked away scratching her head. Her eyes wandered over the boy on the ground again. She reached into her shorts pocket flipping open her phone. Quickly she dialed.

“Hey you guys need to send an ambulance over by Naniwa Nishi Park. There’s ten boys here unconscious. No I found them; they beat the crap out of each other. Please hurry. Thanks.”

As she flipped it closed Lili watched, and when their eyes met she read approval. Or was it curiosity? This was Lili so the answer had to be both. Then the crunch of tires broke their concentration. A white limo pulled beside the sidewalk; with it came Sebastian springing from the driver’s seat. He rushed to Lili’s side clutching a first aid kit. How far had Lili thought ahead?

“Mademoiselle Lili! Are you and Mademoiselle Asuka hurt? Goodness my lady, what has become of your dress?!”

“I am unscathed Sebastian. See to Asuka’s left hand. Her right ear requires attention also.”

“Yes Mademoiselle.”

“I’m fine. My hand stopped bleeding rememb- urgh!”

Right as she instinctively flexed it her left hand seized up into an angry throbbing patch of tendons. She winced, hissing out a breath. Her adrenaline finally ran on empty.

“Pardon me. If I may treat your lacerations and apply a compress, the pain will certainly ease.”

“Sure. Just make it stop.” Asuka panted.

Asuka was tough, always had been. But each step disinfecting, spreading ointment, to wrapping a bandage shot floating starbursts through her vision. She stared into the sky hoping for birds or clouds. Anything she could count. A flock flew by in V-formation; she sighed, relieved.

“There. The bandage itself doubles as the cold compress. This should eliminate the need for a cumbersome ice bag, Mademoiselle Asuka. As for your ear-”

“That doesn’t hurt your princess over there’s just working herself up. But, thanks.”

“I see. Understood.”

He shuffled to the trunk to stash the supplies; she felt Lili’s stare meeting it without hesitation. She caught her dazed, brows knit with concern. Then in the most Lili fashion she noticed and cleared her throat. Just like that her expression turned cool again. Asuka let out a dry chuckle.

“After you Mademoiselle Lili.”

Sebastian opened the passenger door bowing as he waited. Tilting her head Lili beckoned for her as she got in. Asuka made sure she was seated first; she couldn’t fight a grin anymore.

“Welcome to my most wonderful lounge. I trust it is to your liking, no?”

“Like I drive in one of these enough to know any difference.”

Dad never even owned a car. Not that she could remember anyway. Asuka stared out the window fixed on the city rolling past them. Her ears perked when Lili cleared her throat hard. She looked at her and slunk into the plush seat ears red with embarrassment.

“It’s real nice. Never been in a seat this comfy. If I pass out it’s yer fault y’know.”

“Feel free. I shall take it as a compliment.”

“I’m holdin’ ya ta’ that. Don’t mind if I do.”

Lili smiled. Now Asuka found she couldn’t stop talking.

“That was somethin’ back there too y’know. We beat the crap outta ‘em! You were flyin’ everywhere I almost couldn’t catch tha’ action. I bet they didn’t know what tha’ hell hit ‘em.”

“As I remember you turned several into mincemeat. I should thank you for providing me such opportune openings for attack.”

“Hell yeah! That’s the kind of teamwork I had in mind! Great, right?”

Lili brushed back her hair and turned up her nose. She could hear the smirk when she spoke.

“Of course. When I fight with absolute concentration, there is nothing I can’t handle.”

Asuka’s face pinched.

‘That took everythin’ outta ya?’

She saw Lili marching in front of those boys over and over in her mind. If Asuka hadn’t been there making it easier on her to fight; suddenly she thought she might vomit.

“...The way they were starin’ at ya felt off ta’ me. When ya talked at them an’ stuff.”

There’d been way too many of them; blame stung on her shoulders.

“How so?”

“Ya were a piece ‘o meat. An’ they seemed real hungry, if ya catch my drift. They were those kinda guys. Yer pretty an’ all remember.”

Her chest panged watching Lili go pale.

“That…will not discourage my combative pursuits.”

“I ain’t sayin’ forget martial arts. People use ta’ warn me all tha’ time. It…it scared me fer a second. That’s all.”

Silence muffled everything. Asuka let herself breathe; her eyes lit up.

“But still, I looked cool saving ya at the end didn’t I?”

“…And if I say yes?”

Fire ripped through Asuka like striking a match. She leaned forward.

“Yeah?”

“You terrified me. I demand you repeat it at the earliest convenience.”

She blinked at her; Lili sat straight faced. Without thinking she burst out giggling.

“What? What now? How rude you are.”

“It’s just, it’s just you love saying weird things!”

Lili’s mouth twitched. Asuka stared right back, bracing for an insult. Instead she smiled. The limo stopped at a red light.

“Can you guess why I began fighting?”

“Huh? Cuz ya wanna right? Yer family doesn’t teach nothin’ about it like mine. Ya can be good at protectin’ yer money or somethin’.”

“Nothing as silly as that I assure you. Money is Father’s concern not mine. Though one could say money was the reason I discovered it.”

Lili rested her arm on the window sill. She shifted crossing her legs.

“Four years ago I was kidnapped for ransom, you see.”

Asuka’s jaw dropped on reflex.

“Of course back then I was utterly helpless. I was but twelve. Making a proper fist was beyond me. I was bound in a chair inside a room for I’m unsure how long. I remember best the dark, the panic dreaming of home and my stuffed animals. When I would wake fear reminded me exactly where I was. But the more I grew afraid, the deeper anger hardened inside me.”

Her eyes were a razor.

“I don’t remember much of him. I bit my guard doing everything my body could to thrash him out cold. Then I slipped my bindings and ran. And ran and ran until I collapsed beside a road.”

“…What…happened then?”

“What do you think? A passing car found me in France. Father was on his jet the moment he heard the news. He thought I would be crying and huddling on my bed at the hospital. But I sat ready to meet him.”

“No way! Yer lyin’!”

Lili cocked her head, not amused.

“Come now Asuka I’ve never had reason to lie to you. Certainly not over a personal memory either.”

Sucking her teeth she folded her arms out of habit but stopped. She winced at the dull ache shooting from her hand. She could feel her expression soften and didn’t fight it. There came nothing to say that felt right enough, except for maybe,

“…What about yer mother? How was she?”

Lili cut her off, sharp, but strangely wavering.

“My mother isn’t worth discussing.”

A slight movement caught her eye. Asuka looked down; Lili’s hand was trembling. All of Lili was trembling. She didn’t think as she held her hand. She heard her breath hitch and Asuka’s heart raced faster.

“I ain’t got a mom either.”

Lili’s expression shifted around struggling for the right reply, the right anything. Asuka felt her fingers squeezed. That was enough. At least she’d stopped shaking. Sebastian glanced at them in the rearview mirror, his stare warm. They sat there not moving, light through the windows dancing across their faces. Soon their stomachs growled. She started laughing thinking nothing of it and she heard Lili join in the melody. Their hands let go, but that was alright.

“I believe you promised me octopus. Unless you’ve forgotten.”

“Yeah yeah I know. I’m soooo hungry. If I don’t eat somethin’ I think my arm’s gonna start lookin’ tasty.” She groaned.

“Well that won’t do. Sebastian!”

“Yes Mademoiselle?”

“Return us to Shinsekai then you may retire at the hotel.”

“At once my lady.”

Lili turned to her concerned.

“You’re up for walking are you?”

“Of course I’ll be fine. I’m made of tougher stuff.”

Getting out and standing in the middle of a proper street again left her disoriented. They must’ve been driving only twenty minutes; it may as well have been another world. The moment for people to gawk at them seeing the limo had passed. Until now Asuka never considered such casual attention annoying. Then again, for a long while she’d always been alone.

“Hmm…I believe it was a building with a giant octopus climbing the side.”

“Yeah that’s Takotsuba’s alright. C’mon we might still beat the rush hour.”

They did not in fact beat the rush hour. While it wasn’t a full house either it came pretty damn close. Getting a booth to themselves was another of the day’s small victories. She looked over the menu as a formality; her heart had already decided to keep eating anything until she’d be crawling outta here. Her stomach wrung out a gurgle.

“What would you suggest? I’ve never seen it prepared in quite so many ways.”

“Well ya know the staples like okonomiyaki and takoyaki so that’s nothin’ new. There’s octopus salad, octopus rice, sushi, and karaage too. Karaage’s got more fry to it than takoyaki. I heard once it’s chewier if you don’t boil the octopus first.”

“My! Then I must try them all it seems.”

“What’d ya ask me for?”

Lili giggled.

“Why not?”

Ah, of course it’d been another one of her weird teases. Oh well. Asuka shrugged smiling to herself.

Maybe she should blame her hunger, but everything tasted divine. There wasn’t a bite she could get down fast enough before she went for the next. The texture felt as smooth as if she’d caught it from the sea. Each seasoning burst together yet she could name them all. And the sauces, she never imagined sauces so sharp they might ruin the dish. How had she eaten anything before today?

“Try this it’s amazin’!”

She scooped a huge chunk of crispy karaage and held it up between her chopsticks. Lili stared from her face to the octopus, thinking. She smiled easy playing along. Asuka grinned watching her bite it. Her face exploded.

“My god what a powerful flavor…I’m unsure where I should begin. Give me another.”

She picked up an even bigger chunk inching toward Lili’s parted mouth; then at the last second just as Lili’s eyes focused Asuka ate it.

“You scoundrel!”

“I’m hungry.” She hummed, smiling and content.

Under the table their feet nudged together back and forth and back without force.

By the time they stumbled out of Takotsuba’s the sky burned dusty orange. Beside her Lili gripped a wall hunching over into one big sigh. Asuka stretched and yawned with a bursting stomach feeling her eyes droop.

“I believe… I should have stopped… at dish five… “

“Ya didn’t have ta’ try everythin’ off my plate.” Asuka huffed half-heartedly.

“You have the luxury of living here. I must take the experience when I can get it.”

“Hey. Wasn’t there another place you wanted ta’ go?” She asked, nudging her.

“Where could that possibly be in this state-“

Asuka stared above them saying nothing as Lili followed her line of sight. She smiled. Towering like a lone pillar propping up the heavens, Tsutenkaku stood, the sunset dressing it in gold.

To her surprise there was little fuss from Lili as they climbed the access stairs. A ten minute rest had her back to swiveling her head trying not to miss anything she saw. Some gawked at the jagged tears on her dress; but if Lili didn’t care then neither did Asuka. They held hands climbing the tight crowded stairwells and through narrow doorways. At the first observation deck she felt Lili start letting go to wander inside; Asuka squeezed her fingers.

“That’s the boring part. Lemme show ya some real excitement.”

A second staircase so narrow you had to climb single file squeezed them up the second deck. It was a tight caged circle, full of people crammed between the tower and tall mesh wire paneling. Everyone could barely make space for others passing and so she made sure they followed the flow without getting crushed. Despite this no one pushed or shoved; she lifted her head letting the wind cool against her face.

They got lucky. Another couple left passing them by while everyone else was busy going either up or down, creating an empty pocket where no one would bother them. Asuka seized the chance.

“Mon dieu…”

They stood at the entrance of an open roofed tunnel made of more mesh wire and a grated ramp. It jutted out several meters, pointing its finger through the sky. Yellow font on a white sign shouted the rule of allowing two standing people at a time. Asuka grinned and pointed.

“After ya, ladies first.”

“You can’t be serious. No matter! I am not afraid.”

“I’ll be right behind ya, duh.”

Slowly Lili stepped out one long stride after another until she soon let go of gripping the mesh for safety. True to her word Asuka followed casually at ease like they were still on a sidewalk. She stopped beside her at the end, the floor now a single piece of reinforced glass. One glance down and they could feel the plummet to their deaths. She was alive, wired, a living drum. The air filled fresh through her lungs. Lili’s tight face softened. She smiled hearing her gasp.

The city went on and on and on, framed in golden fire. The clouds became infinite vanishing into a thick blanket on the horizon. High rises, highways, and all the packed in streets bunched together or winded around each other like a spread fan. Most were grey, but dots of color boxed in the edges of green parks. Trains snaked along the outdoor rail lines in the gaps between. Even floating from up here the sounds of life came through in pieces.

“It’s really pretty.”

“…Yes. It is.”

She watched the city, and she watched her watch the city. Then all she could see was her. Lili seemed to glow; tearing down the calculating look she knew so well. Instead she was smiling; she outdid the sun. Their bodies touched. They were all but one in such tiny space.

“Do you know what I’m thinking when I see you now?”

Lili spoke softly tapering the syllables like a melody. Asuka decided then and there her eyes were the gentlest blue.

“Knowing you? Could be anythin’ I guess.”

Lili cleared her throat. Her words came in a rhythm.

“There’s a poem we were taught back home for literature studies. A line went, ‘Now let us sport us while we may, And now, like amorous birds of prey, Rather at once our time devour Than languish in his slow-chapt power.’ ”

She stared at her waiting, patient despite going bright as a tomato. Asuka didn’t have words for the funny feeling turning her into a tingling fool.

“Sounds nice, but what’s it mean?”

“…I-I thought, I thought it sounded pleasing.”

“Ya don’t know do ya?”

“Sometimes it’s perfectly acceptable not to.” Lili stammered, glancing down.

They stood there on thin air. Lili held her hand. Asuka brushed her thumb over her skin.

The walk home went all too fast and just as slow. Between a few curious silences they chatted about anything that from outside was absolutely nothing. Together they walked through the front door, laughing over a joke Asuka told easy. And there stood Dad drawn by their noise; on his face reality.

“What were you two doing?”

His eyes were staring straight at the cuts on Lili’s dress. At once Asuka knew she had lost.

“We found boys all beating each other to death at the park; course we had to do something.”

“Yes and I’m sure that something didn’t involve calling police.”

Her wound throbbed under his stare. She saw his brow narrow and her heart ran laps.

“Let me see your hand.”

“I’m fine-“

“Now.”

She looked at Lili, who by the hard swallow in her throat could only watch. All the clever poetry and snappy remarks dried at their source; as much a blade now as a blade of grass. Asuka raised her left hand bringing her bandage in full view. Her body held itself while he undid the wrapping. A hiss squeezed out her lungs when he examined the newborn scabs.

“I knew it.”

He checked over her ear then looked again at Lili’s dress; the cuts matched.

“Explain everything. And I mean everything, Asuka.”

Quickly she stuffed her left hand behind her back, eyes downcast. Her fingers clenched with her pride bearing the pain. Beside her she heard the slight step of Lili shifting closer. She found her voice.

“The fighting went fine, we won. It almost felt too easy. When I thought the last boy went down, one got back up out of nowhere. He started charging at Lili I, I couldn’t think anymore. I knew I had to do something I had to protect her. (At hearing the word ‘Protect’ his eye twitched.) These guys seemed more dangerous than my usual. So my body just moved on its own. I hit him. I hit him harder than I’ve hit anything in my life; he went flying like cars in a tsunami.”

“I must add, when we checked his body I believe only by a miracle did she not pulverize his skull, sir.”

“Your wind, what did it look like. How did it shape? Do you remember?”

“Not much. I know it became all I could see, like a tunnel curling around and from me.”

“Worse than that; I’m amazed you saw so little. Had you done any more it would have meant his life.” Lili said, very small with Dad here, but Asuka sensed a lingering fascination.

A heavy look on his face made her stomach drop. She heard the day’s joy shatter.

“No more fighting. Defending yourself I will allow, but nothing else. You will not provoke anyone nor give in to verbal insults. You will not go getting yourself involved in other people’s battles. You are to get away then call the police if you see such nonsense. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes… sir.” She forced through her teeth meeting his eyes.

His mouth made a line and that was final.

The hair on her nape still bristled sitting on her bed. Her left hand dulled throbbing quietly as she gripped her homework. Her leg started bouncing while her eyes glazed over the equations.

“You worry too much. At least he hasn’t confined you here. And so what, in a few days I’m sure his temper will calm.”

Lili stopped writing. Sitting at the desk she reminded Asuka of a perched eagle with lanky limbs. Her voice soothed if nothing else. She let herself breathe. Asuka swallowed, face tight.

“He’s never said anythin’ like that before. Never. Even if sometimes he’d give me a look the older I got.”

She stared at an equation passing it through her muscle memory. Her pencil underlined her answer over and over.

“I don’t get a damn thing anymore.” She said to herself.

Then she perked up snapping her head toward Lili.

“I ain’t say anythin’ about worryin’! Don’t go assumin’.”

“Please. The way you’re acting says quite enough.”

Asuka searched her brain for a biting one liner, anything she could throw would do. She sighed, sucking her teeth softly. She flipped the page and tackled another equation with a mind like stilled dark water. It was autopilot; it had to be after Lili drilled the rules into her piece by piece dozens of times. But the steps came sluggish, the numbers vague, and a feeling of wrongness trailed everything. This, she realized, felt something like doubt gnawing its way into birth. And she held it quiet so quiet in her chest; between her bared teeth. Dad was tough but fair. He was strong. She pictured his smile.

Days kept coming one after another. Each morning she shuffled out of bed (closer to noon now thank god), trained, washed, then a big breakfast, homework, bike work, training, another wash, bed. Dinner would come and go giving a bit of color in filling her belly beside more Lili. It took longer than she liked meeting Dad’s eyes again for longer than a second. He wouldn’t say anything more on why he’d been angry though to her credit Asuka didn’t dare push. Time trickled slowly by the minute to the hour. Her body woke up between the seconds; how many years had passed, since she knew lasting stillness?

The little things made her angry now. Tea took too long to boil and food too long to cook. Cars driving by the house had eyes in their lights and off the tint of their windows. Internet scrolling threw itself up telling her nothing. Silent moments picked and picked letting thinking seep through cracks in her stone. She spent time sitting. She paced around. She stared at the ceiling. She didn’t dare go outside the first few days. When she did, her legs made trips around the yard.

She held on to the sparks found in sparring Lili up and down the dojo. It’d always been the first place her mind became a blank slate, her original place. She gave orders knowing they’d be understood. She took fun in the blows of their words saying less and less now, letting truths spill behind their tangled limbs and measured hits. There everything else turned to steam.

And it was bad for her now, it was bad for her. The solid landing of a strike, the smacking of bone colliding against skin, the racing heart during a back and forth marrying technique with gut instinct- all of it meals without ever filling. Then just like that with the clap of her hands it too ended. Sometimes, they stopped thinking anything at all pushing their strength further and further into force. If one bruised the other grinned; if both bruised they laughed.

It came simple. Act. React. Counteract. She hardly noticed now whether Lili grew slower in the thick of it, or if those moments made Asuka move faster. It was as pointless as trying to decide if you tasted your sweat in your mouth or having it flood your nose. They blended the same.

It was life and she savored it greedily whenever she drank. It reminded. She tasted it in her dreams.

“Will you quit sulking outside our practices? I may as well find better conversation with a tree of late.”

Asuka shot up from lying on her side tossing her pillow aside, furious red, face all hard angles. She roughed up her hair as if shaking the frustration.

“Things are too normal!”

“Isn’t that what you’ve been fighting thugs for? To uphold normal?” Lili said, stopping filing her nails.

Asuka hopped from her bed in one motion balling her fists. Her room blurred past and she slammed her hands on the desk. The muscle in her neck twitched as she leaned over her. Asuka’s broad shoulders shaded her from the light. A hollow burned in her chest. She growled out,

“I need it Lili. I need it.”

Setting her file aside the grin on Lili’s face, the one Asuka of a different time would’ve called unreadable, read hungry delight. She saw her perfect teeth widen across her lips. Her canines glinted.

“Now, did you think I’d stop you in this endeavor?”

They used the limo. Dad still allowed Asuka errands and hanging out, so long as Lili swore to keep an eye on her. And, of course, Asuka had to show her hands when coming home. They’d walk several blocks without looking back or stopping save for Asuka’s new habit of fiddling with her sparring gloves hidden in her pocket.

By the first busy intersection Sebastian would park. He never skipped out or let himself be late. Not once did she hear him complain or caution them; save for politely praying they be safe and that Lili understood what they were doing. At that last point Lili had given him a look. Asuka never heard it again. If the old man wore any frustrations they found a home in his caring eyes instead.

Her first time back made the boys drop fists and run hoping to not get crushed in the stampede. Their hollering bounced off the alley full of apartment blocks where no one stuck their head out the window. Asuka stood hand on hip sucking her teeth.

“Hey! None of that now; we’ll find a catch next.”

“…We fuckin’ better.” Asuka said, pouting.

“If nothing else you’ve certainly grown your fame.”

She whipped around glaring in protest but Lili laughed watching her ears go red. She sighed running a hand though her hair. A tiny smile brought some light.

And it was true. The next drive and the next gave her a handful of boys who found the fire in their fear to stand their ground. And there were an even smaller few who still hadn’t heard her name. Her knuckles grew slick with sweat, bones vibrating under the aftershocks linking blow after blow. She stamped it into her skin, her muscle, her bright grin. Thinking faded into the waters of a dark, dark place. She went blank again. To herself she smiled like a child.

Lili was spared repeating the dangers of their first time; boys barely got a word out before Asuka crashed upon them, a furious living storm. In fact their teamwork lasted a day or two before she complained Asuka was having all the fun. She taunted her over not being capable of pulling in a share. But from then on Asuka beat up a few less as they slid through the rainy season into early August.

So, then, Asuka made herself blink raindrops from her eyes and cocked her head when she found it blooming under her bloodied sparring gloves. A chain of bruises spotted her skin with sickly flowers.

“No…no no no no. No! Why?!”

“Why…are you, fussing?” Lili huffed as she wheeled a boy down using Aiki Nage. One stomp of her heel against his chest (Lili called it the Root of Evil; Asuka had long since given up rolling her eyes).

“Look!”

Panting Lili leaned over her suddenly stone still.

“Dearest me. I suppose we must retire early today.”

“I’m not finished!”

“With that you most certainly are.” She hissed without anger.

Asuka grunted. Lili touched her earpiece and barked,

“Sebastian!”

Like clockwork the limo rounded the corner.

Lili dragged her waving off Sebastian to stay put before he could step out as she opened the door. Another white sheet of rain beat against the roof. Their bodies scrambled sliding onto, around the leather seats. Somehow they struggled upright. Lili slammed the door shut. Asuka barely knew she was sitting when she saw Lili picking through a container islanded between them and the driver seat. She set a white box on her lap.

“Hold still, let me see it.”

Asuka came into focus; she offered her hand. The cold pack sent shuddering chills racing down her body. She hissed gritting her teeth. Thinking fast Lili tied it atop her hand by wrapping gauze. Gently she pressed it in deeper, sinking against her seat. Throbbing violently her skin screamed at her; the clench of her jaw yelled ‘Shut Up!’ right back.

“Here.”

She blinked letting her head roll toward Lili’s voice. A long oval pill sat pinched between Lili’s fingers; she heard the rattle of the bottle as she held it up.

“Acetaminophen should serve nicely.”

Asuka’s eyes grew half lidded, the pain second worst besides the ache coursing up her arm. Without thinking she closed the pill between her teeth no more gently than taking a kitten by the scruff. She heard Lili’s gasp but didn’t care, and swallowed as she leaned back.

“Ya got any water fer this?”

“What a ridiculous question ma chère.”

At the press of a button a side compartment slid away a lid revealing a cooler inside the island. Lili passed her bottled water. Asuka gulped it down.

“You know you’re very lucky you don’t break your skin open completely; or that you’ve not broken a knuckle bone. With how often you prefer punching lately.”

“What tha’ hell ya know about medicine?” Asuka asked, surprised, staring at her out the corner of her eye.

“Sebastian has had…several…experiences tending me. It felt proper I should learn some along the way.”

The old man glanced at them in the rearview mirror. Asuka thought she saw the edges of a smile.

“Doesn’t sound like you at all.”

“Yes, well. I am of many talents. And I believe you are due to finally sing of them.” She chirped, grinning as she flipped her still drying hair. When damp it turned into slippery spaghetti sliding over her face and Asuka snorted a laugh.

They sat letting the engine’s low rumble pass between them; staring out the windows. Now the city disappeared, buried under pouring rain. It drummed a pounding rhythm against the limo; stomping its footsteps every which way. The slight sway as the limo moved started rocking her; her head nodded off. But of course, Lili wanted to say more. It would have irked her just a bit, if the adrenaline wasn’t leaving her body. Her knuckles hurt less. The muscles had grown cold and heavy. Tight.

“It’s been about fifteen minutes wouldn’t you say? Let me see it one more time; we can’t possibly leave it as is.”

“How the hell are ya keepin’ Dad from spottin’ this? There’s a buncha ‘em all over.”

Lili held up her makeup bag in both hands, her face suddenly more smile than face. She giggled fidgeting giddily; shock kept Asuka’s stomach from dropping but not her jaw. Her eyes bulged though she should’ve known better. She buried her face in her good hand. Of course that would be the solution.

“What about when it wipes off if I have’ta wash my hands?!”

“Then you will refrain from doing so until he is either sleeping, preoccupied enough he leaves us alone, or is out of the house. Or in cases like the bathroom, you may message my cellular after your business and I shall distract him or excuse myself buying us time.”

“…I hope yer right.”

“Relax. There are several waterproof brands in my collection for the choosing. At least one should complement your skin tone and be of use, so long as you avoid soap.”

Giving her a cautious look Asuka sighed then offered her hand. The liquid stuff gave her chills she never got over while the powders reminded her of flour. The makeup brush tickled. Lili explained each new layer, how everything must go with the mixed green and yellow foundation. Those colors were best at hiding redness. Each layer stacked like a cake. At times Lili muttered to herself checking, double checking, triple checking her work. Sometimes Asuka tingled feeling the tip of her nose graze her. Never had Asuka seen her hunch over or have any posture than a straight back. But here she didn’t care at all. Eventually Lili stopped talking altogether. Unease crept with the silence. But, little by little Asuka let herself watch. Her mind went blank, lost in the rhythm watching an art be practiced.

And it was an art; her skin may as well have stitched itself whole. She could only tell the skin tone was slightly off if she stared too long. But she couldn’t be upset with using what they had. It would probably be enough. It had to be. Her face pinched for an instant; she smoothed it out.

“Thanks.”

“You are welcome. Continue using the ice; concealer has its limitations.”

Asuka obeyed, shivering, unable to ignore the damp soaking her clothes any longer. They fell silent again; the engine purred. She drew closer against her touching their knees. She sighed in relief feeling warmth. Lili did the same, since she was taller her body heat radiated over the top of Asuka’s head.

“This damned rain has made me dreadfully chill.”

Sebastian turned a knob beside the steering wheel; more warm air flooded from the vents. Asuka let the ice bag slide into her lap. Her brow narrowed. Her brain spilled words for her; that racing anxious ball in her chest reminding her too much of everything she’d seen on prey animals being torn apart.

“…What if Dad figures this out anyway? What the hell am I supposed ta’ do when I’ve never seen ‘im so pissed…”

“My father shut me inside our house.”

“He what?!” Asuka looked at her.

“Yes. When he discovered I participated at the fifth Iron Fist Tournament he yelled at me, for the first time in my life, for our entire argument. He is a soft spoken man you see. Even when serious or giving a command he finds raising one’s voice distasteful. The idea one of his family could seek battle made him sick enough to collapse when he’d heard. He is too much a pacifist for his own good. That I kept my involvement a secret worsened my punishment.” Lili said bitingly soft and eyes far away again; drowned. Asuka could feel the scolding hearing Dad’s voice instead; she winced.

“So then, ya got grounded so bad that he…”

“I couldn’t take one step out the front door. Leaving my room was itself treated with suspicion. Our help staff reported all my movements and escorted me to and from family meetings or dinner and so on. He refused looking me in the eye. We could hardly hold conversation. Mother took great care stressing those points. I believe it amused her.”

“…That’s horrible. But ya got out fighting in the sixth tournament right? How’d ya manage that? Did ya stuff a doll under yer blanket and climb out the window?”

Asuka imitated shimmying down a rope like in movies; Lili giggled.

“Something rather like that, yes. Jin Kazama visited his barbarism upon us shortly after leaving Father bedridden. I feared for him. I told myself I had no use feeling such a way; he must hate me as it stands. Yet I couldn’t help sharing his sickness seeing him in that state, a walking corpse. Mother was hysterical over the security of our funds after our forced merger. On all other subjects she went deaf. I…I had to do something for him myself.”

“An’ that was winnin’ the tournament.”

“Taking Jin Kazama’s resources as he begged for my mercy would have been payment enough.”

Asuka sat straight crossing her arms. She hummed in thought.

“If ya got ‘im that way yer dad woulda gotten angrier. Probably.”

“Perhaps. I can’t deny the chance. But at least he can complain safe in knowing what rightfully belongs to him has returned.”

Asuka huffed. She stared at the floor, the seats, out the window. Her words dragged each other searching for the strength she gathered piece by piece. The hurt cracked her throat. It felt strange, hearing herself from someone else’s mouth.

“I know ya… ya were lookin’ fer me back then. Doesn’t matter what ya did, I don’t think ya coulda found me. And it was better ya didn’t.”

“Why would that possibly be?”

“I…got real angry. I didn’t care who I hurt long as it got me close to the people that pissed me off. I fought ya at the tournament sure, but the one after wasn’t about just Dad or havin’ fun.”

She watched the veins flex in her hand as she clenched it. It pulsed her heartbeat, solid and rough worn after a lifetime together.

“I woulda done ya in real bad. And I don’t think I’d be able ta’ stop no matter who was under me.”

She breathed out hard; her fist began trembling. Her heart drummed.

“I remember hearin’ about Jin, the anger, not findin’ ‘im…not even carin’ along tha’ way. I got ta’ fight lots of people; every single one of ‘em just like ‘im. An’ when I came home Dad kept layin’ in that hospital bed, blacked out. He never opened his eyes. So when more of those people like Jin fer some reason came stumblin’ around the dojo from tha’ tournament, I couldn’t think of nothin’ else. I had ta’ turn ‘em into pulp. Anyone I saw. That made me feel somethin’, ya understand?”

Her grit teeth glinted under the lights.

“Fightin’ let me feel somethin’ so I didn’t have ta’ feel nothin’ else anymore. It just makes sense ta’ me. An’…it’s people like Jin an’ that Kempo bastard who can turn people like me this way.”

She searched Lili for signs of approval, for some base understanding. The logic held up itself, it didn’t need anything more. But instead Lili’s face pinched; this time not with anger or insult. This time Asuka’s stomach dropped far worse; she found disappointment. Lili looked directly at her. Firm yet gentle came her reply,

“I don’t think that’s true about you at all. Fighting because they made you want it.”

“An’ what’s that mean?”

Lili scoffed and crossed her arms.

“You should bother with a bit of reflection. Perhaps I shall give you yet another example to ease you along.”

Asuka glared, grumbling, starting to speak with a curse or two on her tongue, but kept her mouth shut. Maybe there would be a point.

“I made my escape for Father…but I hoped to see you.”

Lili tapped her chest with a finger putting just enough force to start tipping her.

“Fer your stupid rematch.” Asuka said jabbing her right back.

“Yes and no.”

“Ugh, again with tha’ stupid riddles!” Her head began throbbing.

“I… did something for someone else, and for myself. I fought so I could achieve what I wanted and found joy in fighting to do so. Nothing forced; nothing coerced.”

“Fighting cuz ya want it is no different from a thug! Everybody loses when ya resort ta’ that and any kinda violence.” Or so Dad had told her over and over.

“Is that so? Then what are you calling everything we’ve done these last few weeks? Or how about why you decided continuing to fight would be the best way of achieving the goals on your journeys?”

“That…that’s not tha’ same.” Asuka grumbled a chill ripping through her no longer able to meet Lili’s eyes. She rubbed her head.

“I suppose you may call it whatever you like. Clearly so far such a method has suited you.”

“…I wanted ta’ go home too ya know.”

‘Sometimes. Sometimes I did.’

She yawned. The air had gone from warm to heated, like when she was seven and visited the neighbor’s puppies all piled together in a box. Beside her she felt Lili wait a moment before starting up again on their field performance today. Her clothes were dried, stiff from the rainwater that’d soaked through in the first place. She let her eyes go heavy. This time her aching body got its way. Her head rolled against her shoulder. Curling against her felt easy; she was so warm. Asuka’s voice dragged.

“Lili. I need ya ta’ be quiet right now. Can ya do that fer me?”

“…Yes.”

“I’m gettin’ sleepy.”

She heard her give Sebastian an order and was out like a light.

Her dream took her back home and sat her in the living room. She looked down finding her favorite floor pillow; the TV flickered casting its light over the tatami mats. The room was bright, burning into her eyes and hurting even when she shielded them. On screen a movie played without sound. She held her breath. The entire house had fallen quiet. Nothing filtered in from outside either. She started breathing in shallow strokes. She made herself look at the TV. There played out her life- from Dad encouraging her first steps, to beating down elementary school bullies, into her second year of middle school when Dad let her teach her first class. Each new slide overtook the old one after barely a few seconds. Her heart hammered but she watched.

Next she saw high school, biking to her entrance ceremony, everyone wanting to share lunch with her, then the splintered floor and walls with their pieces buried under those who’d gotten in the way. Dad’s body long wheeled away in an ambulance. She saw the surviving students, the fear stamped on their faces clear even in this place. Somewhere she heard someone vomit again. Jin was a hazy thing, a memory of a memory of a concept. All she remembered best were her fists, battle, shadowy figures one by one marching upon the house or crumpling with no answers for where he could be. A whirlwind she recognized by the scent of blood filling her mouth and old friend adrenaline coursing through her.

Everything, there played everything, until finally there sat her body sleeping in the back of Lili’s limo.

Wait a minute. Lili…and Dad…and-

“Hey!! Anyone?! I’m over here!”

She stood looking around and met only with more silence. The hairs on her neck rose. She stomped through the halls from door to door; all were locked. Asuka licked her lips, chest heaving up and down. She ran up the stairs; every sign of Lili had been scrubbed from her room. Her entire existence erased. She ran to Dad’s room but the lock had bolted shut from the other side. Looking down she glanced at her hands. Bruises blossomed on her skin.

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?”

A chill froze her to her spot. She stared into the ceiling; the voice rattled her bones forcing from her a whimper. This was Dad. Sweat dripped slicking her palms. Her breaths were a machine gun shooting clouds into the air.

“DISOBEYING AGAIN? ABANDONING ME AGAIN? DOES HURTING ME PLEASE YOU?”

Her throat let out a pathetic cry. She tore herself from that spot and raced downstairs. The front door wouldn’t give. The side doors to the outside wouldn’t give. Frantically she kept forcing it until she swallowed hard and threw herself against it. She kicked. Still it didn’t budge. From the kitchen window she spotted her bike, smashed to pieces in a pile. Asuka ran to the kitchen; all the knives were gone. The air choked, it burned to breathe.

“AFTER EVERYTHING I’VE DONE AND SACRIFICED FOR YOU. ALL MY WORDS HAVE FALLEN ON DEAF EARS; YOU DISAPPOINTMENT OF A CHILD.”

Her back pressed against a wall.

“Somebody…hey, somebody…”

A crash from the other side of the house shook everything. A grating sound flooded her ears; the voices of two men wrecking their way closer and closer. Her jaw tensed, everything tensed. She raised her fists with half a heart in it.

“FOOL GIRL OF MINE; CARRY THE WEIGHT OF WHAT YOU HAVE WROUGHT.”

Her blood buzzed, brain pounding as the world started spinning. The ground grew closer.

Somebody.

Hey somebody-

Asuka woke up. She lurched forward but remembered she was sitting just in time to not tumble out the seat. Something heavy bound her in place keeping her from getting very far. She turned her head. Lili leaned against her right shoulder, fast asleep. Her breaths tickled Asuka’s neck. She glanced to her stomach; Lili hugged her tight. The calm on her face slowed her racing heart. Even as Lili’s hair spilled everywhere, a few strands tickling her mouth. With a bit of work she managed wrapping an arm around her. That stupid dream couldn’t disappear fast enough.

‘I guess yer cute too, sometimes.’

“Hey. Gramps.” She called softly.

“Yes?”

“Take us home, please.”

His smile glinted off the rearview mirror.

“As you wish.”

If an obstacle stood in her way she would face it.

Dad gave her hands another once over, humming in thought. She kept her face as straight as possible. Their eyes met. He let her go. He crossed his huge arms over the slimmed remains of his barrel chest. He’d always been a big tall guy; now he had the posture of an oni guarding one of the hells.

“Dinner’s on the table for ya both. Gotta be ice cold by now though.”

“S’alright we can heat it up. Right, Lili?”

She scratched her head still playing cool and turned to her. Lili’s mouth twitched a bit in disgust at the thought, but she fixed herself. She smiled politely and gave a nod; Asuka figured that counted as good enough.

“But of course Mr. Kazama! Why, your cooking is so superb I know it shall be as delicious as when new.”

Asuka’s face fell into a dry ‘Really?’ with just her eyes.

‘Ok now yer overdoing it.’

“Wow. That’s the biggest compliment anyone’s ever paid my cooking! Asuka your friend has some taste you could learn from.” He said ruffling her hair.

She balled her fists and pouted; she wasn’t a little kid! From the corner of her eye Lili was fighting a giggle staring at them. Asuka’s blush grew.

“We’re not friends.”

“Well ya coulda fooled me with how much time you two spend together these days. Quit being so stubborn; just think about how poor Lili feels hearing you say that.”

Gah! He knew how to play on her embarrassment.

‘Damnit old man…!’

She turned facing Lili who made a show of twirling a lock of hair, genuinely waiting for what she felt owed. Asuka scratched her head.

“I guess…you are…almost my friend. We’re…partners.”

Lili blushed. Her doe-eyed stare made Asuka feel funny.

“Well that coulda been better but if the lady isn’t complaining all must be forgiven! C’mon an’ eat before it gets any later. I’ve already finished mine but I don’t mind listening to you girls talk about yer day.” He said slapping her on the back before heading off.

When they had room for themselves again she sighed in relief.

“You consider me your partner?” Lili said each word like she was catching them and putting them in jars.

“Yeah. Don’t think too hard on it.”

Instead Lili clasped her hands over her chest, squealing and giggling. She twirled then started skipping lighter than air toward the kitchen. Asuka huffed, but a grin upturned her mouth.

“Moron.”

The pain sucker punched her until her eyes widened half keeling over. With her nerves out the way she finally felt her bladder bursting. She had to fuckin’ pee! But why? Why now so close to the finish line? She studied her knuckles; the makeup was holding up fine. Her breath hitched.

‘The water from when I took that painkiller!’

And then after she’d had the bright idea to fall asleep. When they’d stepped out the limo her mind had been scrambled eggs thinking about fooling Dad. She clutched her head running in place folding her lips in to not make a sound.

‘Short end of the stick, short end of the stick- how do I always get the short end of the stick?!’

No. She stopped herself and straightened her shirt. All she had to do was not pee. The day was practically over. She checked the time on her phone. Dad would head to bed in about an hour or less since he already ate. If she didn’t go to dinner he’d know she wasn’t feeling right. They always talked over dinner. Just hold it! How hard could it be to hold taking a piss?

Pretty damn hard.

She got through four minutes struggling down karaage before she started shifting in her seat. She chatted and smiled and did her best to not space out into her food. Lili was keeping eyes on her but only whenever he glanced away. Asuka didn’t stand out, right until the second Dad’s brow wrinkled. Her heart jumped. She stayed cool.

“You alright girl? Ya keep wiggling around.”

“It ain’t nothin’.”

“Well ya keep doing it, figured I’d ask.”

Shit! The worry on his face turned flips in her stomach. She swallowed. The more you deny the more suspicious you appear. Her phone weighed down her shorts pocket.

“I gotta pee.” She said in a small voice, glancing away.

“Seriously? Go ahead! Ah sorry for her language Lili. It’s been just us two before you moved in.”

“I find her bluntness can be rather endearing.”

Lili laughed but the smile didn’t reach her ears. The look in her eyes chided ‘Already? Already?!’ and Asuka grit her teeth.

‘I don’t like it either!’

It hurt standing up but she did then speed walked to the stairs before running. She rushed inside the water closet beside the bathroom, closing the door as normally as she could, sighing hard.

There were ten seconds of relief as she turned on the faucet. Then the soap landed in her palm. Her heart was thudding in her wrists, up her throat, through her veins.

‘Stupid, stupid, stupid!’

She got to her knuckles and scrubbed gently as if feather dusting. Asuka squeezed her eyes shut working centimeter by terrible centimeter. She opened her eyes. The red of her bruises ringed a border where the makeup peeled. Asuka stared at the ceiling absorbing silence. Then she kept washing.

[To: Dumbass]

[I’m done. Get up here, hurry!]

She flipped her phone closed; her leg bounced up and down sitting on the toilet lid, head bowed, breathing between the seconds. How would she explain everything to Dad? Could she? Her open hands were trembling giving her one resignation. He wouldn’t understand. She let her mind wander, feeling the impact of bone on fist ripple through her arms. No, he wouldn’t know. Better to stop thinking about it.

Her head snapped up hearing the doorknob turn; Lili came barging in gripping her makeup bag. Quickly she shut the door and knelt beside Asuka; it made her think of the doctor at her last physical.

“How bad is it? Let me see.”

Asuka put her hands up. Lili gasped. Immediately she set to work. The entire disguise hadn’t disappeared but it was close enough. She kept herself stone still this time. Her eyes glanced from her hand to the door and back again until Lili gently swatted her arm.

“Will you stop that, I can fix this.”

“Could ya do it faster he’s gonna get suspicious.” She whispered, annoyed.

Lili’s head snapped up at her not hiding the irritation.

“Yes, please allow me to simply wave my magic brush thereby dispersing your bruised blood back into your body. There’s fast and then there’s doing a convincing job ma chère.”

“I’m sorry.” She murmured.

“As your partner I’m inclined toward forgiving you.”

Asuka’s face widened stammering and pretending to fish for a comeback; she huffed not fighting a blush. Lili giggled. She worked a little faster but no less thorough, until Asuka started forgetting why they were stuck here.

Then her reminder knocked. Lili jolted clinging suddenly against her knees; she steadied her.

“Asuka? It’s been an hour ya alright in there?”

“I’m fine! Just, uh, doin’ the other one.”

Lili gave her the most dead-eyed, embarrassed, disgusted face she’d ever seen on a human being. She mouthed, ‘What am I supposed ta’ say?’ and slumped, humiliation throbbing under her skin.

“That’s still bad! Don’t force yerself ya hear? Anyway I can’t find Lili so when yer done see if ya can make sure she’s alright. Yer leftovers are in tha’ fridge. I’m headin’ ta’ bed.”

As his footsteps started turning Lili’s makeup cases crashed to the floor. She’d leaned in just enough, shrinking at the calls of his gruff voice. Asuka threw a hand over her own mouth and the other over Lili’s. She recoiled struck through with fear and bumped the wall behind her. He stopped.

“What was that? Somethin’ breakin’? Did ya trip?”

Lili scurried picking up her things but only made more noise; Asuka helped, her fingers trembling.

“N-Nothin’! It ain’t nothin’.”

“Oh no ya don’t- I’m not fallin fer the ‘I’m fine Dad!’ but ya hurt yerself and get stubborn as a mule sayin’ anythin’. Like tha’ time ya slipped in the tub. I’m comin’ in, prepare yerself!”

Her heart dropped. They’d lost. She froze watching the door open in slow motion.

Instantly his worry fell, rising again with rage like sparked fire. She followed the path of his sight. Her bruises peeked through their half-finished cover; her hands clenched on Lili’s shoulders. Dad’s eyes hardened.

“Ya wanna hurt people that bad, huh? Or do ya just not care about hurtin’ yerself? Which is it Asuka?”

She could taste her heartbeat.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yer sorrys are countin’ fer little lately. And you, yer helpin’ her too; I can’t believe it.”

Lili went pale. Asuka saw her swallow hard, feeling it in her own throat. She didn’t think; she stood in front of her. Her eyes narrowed never tearing off him. He raised a brow.

“Tell me why.”

“I couldn’t not! People count on me to feel safe; police never solve a thing. Every second I was stuck here I was eating myself from the inside. I’m not gonna sit and take that.”

Every deeper word holding each other from tumbling formed a dam in her.

“…I’m disappointed.” His voice went rigid.

“Eh?” Her hands shook so she balled them.

“Lili, how many people did you two help recently?”

“…One…sir.”

“Lili!”

“And I suppose the two others were yourselves. And I suppose, Asuka, you felt stronger and stronger.”

That wasn’t untrue. She sucked her teeth quietly. Static crackled her brain.

“Not by much...”

Lili’s face pinched blurting out her thought; she felt the slightest tremble from her.

“Had you done as now during the tournament it may have meant my life.”

The instant the words became more than spit on Lili’s tongue Asuka put a hand over her mouth. She was too late. A vein popped on Dad’s forehead. His fists balled and his teeth glinted on every syllable. They shrank at the fury in his eyes.

“During the what?! Asuka what is she talking about?”

“…When you sold the dojo to Lili…we were fighting at the recent Iron Fist Tournament. And it was her fault I was there in the first place! She signed me up and called me after.”

“Yes but I had nothing to do with your being in the sixth tournament.” Lili’s voice cracked rushing, her words bleeding together.

Asuka’s eyes widened. She nudged her.

“The sixth too?! What were ya doing there? How did ya even-“

“Jin! That stupid Jin invaded and destroyed any country he set his sights on-“

“How do you know about him?”

The look in his eye made her shrink back.

“I, I saw his last name and his face shares some stuff with ours so…and he was in the news. Back when he started his mess.”

“That would’ve been when I was unconscious at the hospital…then you weren’t looking after me. You abandoned me?”

“I FOUGHT FOR YOU! Just like I did hunting the bastard who hurt you!”

Her voice boomed, split, cracked down the middle. The air stilled; she’d never yelled at him. Something changed about him, her body told her to run.

“Lili, why did you force my daughter into the last Iron Fist?”

Asuka’s head turned stiffly; Lili was gripping part of her shirt. Somehow she kept her face level, her eyes sincere despite the waver as she spoke.

“I wished to fight her again. I hoped of finally claiming revenge for losing my honor after she defeated me at our first meeting.”

“And where did you first meet?”

“The fifth Iron Fist, where she was seeking your attacker.”

“Did you find him, Asuka?”

“…No.”

Dad rubbed his chin. He wore no emotion. Or it was more like the rage stretched so tight it slid into blank nothingness.

“I want you out of my house. Leave my house, now. Asuka, you’re not taking one step outside the front gate.”

“But-?!” Asuka cried with her, both bent in terror.

“You brought my daughter directly under the Mishima’s notice and only by divine luck did they do nothing to her. You kept that from me.”

“I-“

“GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!”

He roared the command letting it bounce off the walls so that it crashed over them in a wave. And that was that. They lost. Lili slumped against her, eyes dead. With a gentle grip Asuka guided her past his glare into their room. She never once felt herself breathe; not even as Lili cried. She saw herself from the outside and collapsed onto her bed, motionless in static.

An hour was needed before everything Lili owned was crammed into the same old duffle and suitcase. They looked around the room. Seeing the bare walls, the flutter of her curtains, the open signs of herself pulled a scab from Asuka as it formed. She winced. Beside her Lili started wheeling her things, then looked back and took her hand. It ached. Her eyes were still red, makeup ruined, and Asuka crushed the start of tears. Her voice pleaded under a soft command.

“Don’t let it drive you mad Asuka Kazama.”

Then she was down the stairs and out the front door and climbing into her limo, then Asuka stood alone in the night.

She didn’t wake up until the sun was flooding her window. Her throat burned and she went into a coughing fit rolling lazily on her side. Her rug lay on the floor. She blinked. It was still there. She squeezed her eyes shut really, really hard. Rug. Outside the trees were dead still. The birds were quiet today.

She didn’t look him in the eyes at breakfast. Really, she didn’t look at him at all. When he spoke he spoke to a wall. When he tried lecturing her to not act so down she dumped her food in the trash, tossed the plate in the sink, and locked herself in her room. She’d tasted nothing anyway. If she went somewhere and saw his shadow ahead she ducked and hid herself or took a longer route. When she bathed or used the bathroom she did it fast, trying to go after whenever she knew he did. Her day she marked by the shadows along her ceiling, but even when the sunlight changed colors or fell away she wouldn’t leave bed. He learned, after a lot of grumbling on deaf ears and a dozen silences, to knock and leave her meals outside. He argued, shouted, pleaded to see her but she wouldn’t give him a thing. Eventually there was only the quiet.

She couldn’t leave, that first week which became two weeks. Or maybe it was shorter than that, or longer. She had no mind for counting. She had no mind. Lead had moved into her body and decided it liked having a space of its own. When it decided to set up furniture, only then did she feel the bites it’d chewed out her insides. The pitted scars it left were jagged and merciless.

On that afternoon after waking she clenched herself really, really tight, until her heart hammered up her mouth. She sat up and made it to the computer. Dragging herself became a struggle stepping around a few plates. At first she’d done her dishes whenever he went to bed, but one day she lay down without doing it. She learned she could sleep that way. If you could sleep through it you could accept anything. That old lesson reared its head again without any fight from her.

Asuka slid into her chair and booted the old thing up rubbing the sleep from her eyes. The scent of Lili’s perfume still hung around but had grown stale; this place was due for airing out. She looked through her browser bookmarks and opened every bike store in a new tab. Her bank account still had money. Dad never said anything about not spending it. If the magazine catalog was gonna take forever she may as well give online a shot.

On a notepad she wrote her list:

Hubs

Brake Levers

Chainring & Chainstays

Brake & Cabling

Tires (mountain grip type) & Wheels

Saddle

Front & Rear Derailleur

The paper grew cramped; she buried a hand in her hair. The words blended together, lead fog rolling over her, but she gritted her teeth and started typing. One by one she went down comparing the most reliable against those adding speed and reducing weight from each type. Lili would want everything pretty over function, covered in decal art roses as much as real ones. She smiled to herself. Asuka chewed her lip and checked off her list. Then she crawled back under the covers into a ball. The hum of the computer filled her ears, its glowing screen her nightlight as she slept.

Lili giggled walking along a water swirled beach in her dream. The sea pooled around their ankles. Asuka said nothing holding her hand, catching up. She didn’t care where she might follow.

When she woke a few birds sang announcing her yawn as she scratched her head. Her hand fumbled around finding her phone. The time read eleven. At least this time she beat the lunch hour. She stood sluggishly, forcing herself into doing stretches. They were hell on her stiff muscles but got the blood flowing; she moved easier again. Then she stopped by the kitchen tucking a slice of bread in her mouth, grabbed her water bottle, and went outside. The front gate was locked. Where Dad was she didn’t care.

She sat on the crate facing her bike, chewing thoughtfully. While she waited on parts now was the time for another check-in. At least, that’s all she did for the first half hour. She wrote down every fix, replacement, and what could stay divided by colored pencils. Then she stared at the frame, and stared at it. She never marked the sky passing by or moved save for if she remembered her water bottle. All the streets, lanes, avenues she’d ever ride down played their routes in her mind. She thought of where she’d been, where she could go in a different future- maybe even outside the city. She thought of finally testing the forest trails and saw herself racing through flying colors over rocks or cliffs or streams. Lili could come with her, but only in the city lanes, watching the sunset down by the ports.

She did this every day. Dad crossed paths with her, his face dropping in shock but saying nothing. She took more food gradually; then one day a meal was left out for her and the day after that and so on. Finally the parts came within days of each other. She got to work. Her skin, hair, and clothes grew black streaked and sweat matted under the August sun day in, day out. Wire the brakes, tighten the hubs, replace the saddle, tighten the cassette, grease the chain before threading it, and screw in the handlebars and bolt in the wheels after sliding on the tires. Routine keeps you sane. She thought of all the places she would go. Of how many more people she could fight. The hunger lurched inside her, fists aching. She held it in her mouth.

Her eighteenth birthday came and went with Dad’s cake the reminder that snapped her from her work. It was a big layered thing where each section represented a different flavor. Covered in frostings of birds and waves and fruit as it leaned under its weight, she swore she saw it in a textbook once. The Leaning Tower of…someplace. He smiled ear to ear hopeful as he clapped her on the shoulder, asking her if she liked it. She tried the strawberry part- her face lit up; eyes almost popping out her skull. She took more stacking them together before devouring them.

“It’s fuckin’ good!”

He’d ordered it special since he still had money from selling the dojo. Her heart warmed. For a moment the wind whistles outside; the trees dance. Using short bursts they made conversation. Everything felt a little easier. By evening storm clouds gathered. When she crawled into bed lying under the covers brought reality in darkness. One good thing reminded her of every other good thing she didn’t have. Plugging one hole made the others leak faster; the hunger gnawed her. She gritted her aching teeth and held her smallness. Tears warmed her face, her humiliation.

‘Am I still strong?’

A choked cry.

‘I’m scared.’

Howling winds beating at her window pelting water like a battering ram scared her awake. She shivered; cold slipped through the glass. Her phone beeped twice; she froze.

[From: Dumbass]

[Come outside. Please.]

Asuka threw off the covers and ran.

The rain poured fast and ugly driving swirling rivers into the earth. Lili’s wiry body climbed spiderlike over the gate, almost tumbling when her heels hit the mud. Their eyes met and Asuka’s heart stopped. Lili ran to her. At times she stumbled but never stopped. Then there she was, standing breathless at the door.

Lili stared at her, shaken, tired, yet bursting with a racing mind behind her eyes. What little makeup she’d applied drizzled away. She looked like she had a million things to say, but couldn’t remember any of them at the final hour. So instead she moved closer until Asuka felt her warmth. She let her put her hands on her shoulders; Lili hesitated, weighing what came next. Asuka felt her fear, could all but taste it. Knowing something made her afraid and dealt impossible odds yet meeting the challenge to spite it-

‘That’s what I like about ya.’

Well then,

‘Come and take it, if ya can.’

Asuka closed her eyes and lifted her chin. She felt Lili’s trembling fingers slip into her hair.

The kiss pressed nervously but exploded her sense of being. There was no Asuka or Lili; there stood the thing the rain would not have. They held each other hard and when they separated Lili breathed out,

“Je t'aime.”

Asuka stared at her lips, catching a breath. She could do better. She gripped Lili’s collar, kissing her and never giving a chance for air. Hungry. Finally gorging.

“Come in before ya get sick.” She said hoarsely.

The door shut.

#tekken #asulili #asuka kazama #lili de rochefort #my writing

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minniethemoocherda · 5 months ago

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Am I Pretty Enough To Fucking Die?

A/N: Sorry it's been a while since I've posted! IRL stuff got kinda busy for a minute! But I hope it was worth the wait! Also this takes place before my last fic "Saying Something Stupid" Xxxxxxx

Ao3

FF.net

They should have realised the first time that they should have died.

They had spent so long in their human form back then that they had nearly been successful in making themselves forget what it was like to be in their natural liquid state. But subconsciously, they mustn't have had, as it was all too easy for Sinister to bring them back from death.

Countless of the countless experiments Sinister put them should have killed them. At times they wished that he had. But as much as it felt like he was trying too kill them, Sinister always brought them back to life.

It wasn't until when Sentinel-Trask shot a fireball at their face, and they heard Logan scream their name in a repeat of that first fatal night, that the thought first came to them. Because whilst the force of having their body ripped apart hurt like hell itself, it could only have been half an hour later that they were able to pull the burnt blobs of their body back together.

Logan refused to leave their side for at least a week after that and whilst Morph wasn't going to complain, they couldn't help but wonder if the extra protection was even necessary.

Morph had no idea about the science behind it but they knew that somehow they didn't need a brain to function. That the few times they reverted back to a full liquid state, just because they didn't have a physical brain to control them, didn't mean they couldn't. Whenever they were in a human form they would create whatever they needed to move their body, such as their heart or lungs or whatever gendered organs they were feeling that day, even though technically they didn't need them to function, as e it would hurt if one of those concocted organs were injured, as it was their cells that were getting damaged, at the end of the day, they could just shift themselves a new one.

They knew that there were other shapeshifters out there. Mystique being the most famous amongst them. Morph had never met her in person but they had read her file. They knew that she could also change their internal organs, it was how Nightcrawler had come into existence after all. And Beast theorised that she could shift at a cellular, maybe even atomic level. But her natural state was still human, a blue skinned and yellow eyed one but human non the less. Whereas Morph's natural state was as a pile of gloop.

Currently they were in what the team saw as their normal form, pale grey skin with a featureless face. The others did know that it wasn't their real form, but Morph doubted that many of them remembered that.

Except for Logan of course, who knew them better than anyone.

They were sitting besides The Wolverine now, a half forgotten game of go-fish scattered across the table between them and bottles of beer keeping them warm against the chill of the evening breeze.

Stealing glances at Logan wasn't anything new for them but this time was different. They gazed at how the last rays of sun illuminated the sharp edge of his nose, wondering how many sunsets that face had seen. Morph believed that Logan was a sight that they would never tire of seeing.

"You gonna keep starin' or are you gonna ask whatever's in that bald head of yours?" Logan grumbled after Morph must have been looking for too long.

The liver and stomach they'd created, digested the alcohol, giving their body a warm buzz, which was probably why Morph didn't think much before opening their mouth.

"When did you realise that you were immortal?"

Judging by the look on Logan's face that wasn't what he had expected them to ask but he answered anyway.

"The first time I remember getting shot in the head."

"Yeah but how did you know, for certain that you were immortal?"

"I don't. Not yet." Logan shrugged. "Beast reckons that gettin' my head cut off would probably do the trick but I ain't plannin' on testin' that out." He then fixed them with those sharp blue eyes of his. "Why?"

Morph took a deep breath. Honestly after coming out as gay and non-binary, this wasn't half as scary.

"I don't think I can die."

"Oh shit." Logan replied after a moment, rare genuine shock crossing his grizzled features. "You sure?"

"Not yet." Morph repeated back to him in his own voice.

"Well I definitely ain't helpin' you test that out either." Logan snorted as though the pair of them were just shooting the breeze, as though this conversation was a completely normal thing to talk about. As thought this was just nothing thing to add to the list of things they had in common like their love of beer, enjoying taking the piss out of Scott and past psychological torture.

But then Logan had always been the only one who understood them. It was what made him so easy to talk to. Almost too easy. Which made it hard not to tell him how they truly felt.

"Looks like you're stuck with me then old man." They said instead.

"Huh." Before Morph had the chance to reflect on that reflective tone, Logan continued. "Well I can think of worse people to be stuck for eternity with."

"Worse then me?" Morph said through the sharp teeth of Sabertooth's mouth.

"If you spend the rest if time dressed up at Creed, I'll kill you myself." Logan said, punctuating his point with the familiar snikt of his claws.

Then the crease in Logan's brow tensed into something sharper.

"Look, sometimes it's harder to be the one who survives. And just 'cus you can't die don't mean you can't feel pain." Logan stated, watching the sun as it finally sunk bellow the horizon.

They both knew that he wasn't talking about the physical kind of pain. It probably wasn't the healthiest conclusion to come to when dealing with ones own mortality or lack there of, but the thought that they couldn't stop coming back to was that it meant that they would never again be able to hurt Logan again with their death.

Then Logan put his claws away, stroking the red of his knuckles as he cleared his throat.

"So don't go looking for new ways to give us all heart attacks alright. I-we don't like seeing you get hurt."

"Trust me I'm not." Morph snorted. "You don't have to worry about me."

Steel blue eyes met their empty grey ones.

"I'll always worry about you."

It wasn't an I love you, and it probably never would be but, promising to care for them for the rest of eternity would most likely be the closest Morph would ever get and they would hold those words forever in their fabricated heart.

Morph honestly hadn't thought too deeply about their new realisation. After coming to terms with their gender and sexuality this was just another thing to add to the long lost of weird shit they'd learnt about themselves.

But it was a comfort to know that whatever life might throw at them, they would always have Logan by their side.

A/N: So the concept of Morph being made of gloop has really stuck in my head and got me thinking how they can function without organs and if they don't need them, then what could actually kill them?? Like they get blasted in the chest in the OG show?? Then Sentinal-Trask blasts them too and we even see them turn to gloop in that shot!!?? So yeah my latest headcanon is that like Logan, they too are potentially immortal! Xxxxxx

#morph #morpherine #wolverine #x men #x men 97 #xmen #morph x men #morph xmen #kevin sydney #logan #logan howlett #james howlett #james logan howlett #morph x wolverine #morph x logan #marvel #xmen 97

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gilbirda · 10 months ago

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Friendly neighborhood vigilante. Chapter 22

BatmanxDP crossover. JasonxJazz

[Read on AO3] [Read on FF.net]

Based on this post

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“Forgive the mess,” Jason murmured as he carried Jazz into the room. “They did leave everything just like I left it, huh.”

Jazz lifted her head from its hiding place in the crook of Jason’s neck. She didn’t expect to be carried in his arms, and even if she should find it funny given how she got injured in the first place, she couldn’t deny it made her heart flutter a bit.

Jason’s childhood room was… what you’d expect from a teenager. It wasn’t messy, but clutter was everywhere — books, comics, more books and what she assumed was a handheld gaming device. Her eyes roamed over the Wonder Woman posters and pictures on the wall, spying a signature in a big one placed safely far from the window and sunlight.

Jason had always been a nerd.

She giggled.

“Cute.” She said, rubbing her cheek against his when he blushed.

“‘m not cute.” He contested halfheartedly. He huffed softly and walked closer to the bed, letting her down on the mattress. “Cass left some clothes for you.” he reached for the neatly folded pajamas and handed them to her. “Do you need help, or…?”

Jazz rolled her eyes. “I have a twisted ankle, I’m not unable to dress myself.”

“Well, I’ll leave you to it, I’ll change in the bathroom.” He walked towards the drawers, opened one and cursed.

“What’s wrong?”

“I was fifteen years old when I last stepped into this room,” he pulled something from the drawer to show her, “and I was a small child.”

Jazz tried really hard to contain her laughter, but the tiny rock band t-shirt over his broad chest was just hilarious. She threw back her head and gave a hearty laugh, not worrying about if he saw her fangs for once.

He chuckled with her, turning back to check the rest of the drawers, rummaging around for a bit.

“Nothing?” She asked softly.

“Nope. And I’m not going to go back out and ask for clothes if I don’t really—” He stopped in his tracks, his cheeks blooming a bit of a blush.

Jazz picked up what he didn’t say. “Do you usually sleep naked?”

She watched his shoulders tense and how he consciously relaxed them before answering. “Yeah. Or just with some boxers or shorts on.” He pointedly wasn’t looking at her.

Okay.

Jazz hummed, controlling her thoughts and what to say. Was this one of those situations she had to be careful to navigate? She didn’t want to send the wrong signals and make the situation more uncomfortable than it needed to be — she knew he was not happy with their sleeping arrangements and Bruce’s pushiness was not welcomed.

“I don’t mind if you want to sleep in your underwear.” First step: vocalize. Don’t leave things unsaid, since not-saying things usually lead to misunderstandings, as she had come to learn.

Jason turned with a confused frown, finally looking at her in the eyes. “Okay?”

“Yeah. It’s okay.” Second: appear calm and collected, safe to be around. “It doesn’t bother me.”

She fiddled with the soft fabrics of the provided pajamas, distracting her hands as she waited for his reaction. What was he thinking? Did he consider this as her making some kind of move? They were going to share a bed for the first time, and she was trying very hard not to feel too self conscious about that fact.

“If you say so…” He finally nodded and walked closer to the desk on the other wall, picking up his stuff from his pockets — keys, wallet and phone — and placing it next to a book pile.

Jazz took this as her cue and picked up the pajamas, quickly hopping towards the ensuite bathroom before Jason caught her and told her she shouldn’t walk on her injured foot. When he finally realized she had made a run for it, she had already closed the door.

Jason dramatically sighed, making her giggle.

She made quick work of the clothes and put on Cass' pajamas, admiring how they flowed over her skin. She suspected some kind of silk blend, but didn’t recognize the brand; not that she expected to recognize it, since she always bought clothes on sale and never worried about stuff like if they were in season or their fabric blends.

She splashed her face with cold water, noticing that the soap brand name was French and with fancy letters. She knew the Waynes were filthy rich, but she guessed that it kind of took a second place in her mind the whole evening. She was more focused on making a good first impression.

Jazz finished getting ready for bed and walked back into the room, her folded clothes in one hand, and hopped towards the same desk Jason left his things. On top of the book pile was Mansfield Park.

“Interesting literature for a fifteen year old.” She picked it up, opening it in a random page, admiring the same sticky notes and annotations she had seen in the books he kept at the apartment, confirming he had always been such a nerd.

“Austen is hilarious,” Jazz could hear the shrug in his voice, “what can I say.”

She put the book back down and turned, finding her boyfriend watching her with those intense blue eyes. He was sitting on the bed, but hadn’t gotten under the covers, opting to rest against the headboard to comfortably watch her every move.

Was he trying to make her self conscious on purpose?

“What?” She confronted him.

“Nothing.” He quickly said. Too quickly.

When he didn’t add anything else, she shrugged and hopped towards the free side of the bed. If he didn’t want to comment on it, she wasn’t going to push the topic. If this was about being self conscious about sharing a bed, or about his nakedness, he didn’t have anything to prove or worry about.

Also, she was very sleepy. Whatever it was, it could wait until morning.

Of course, the bed was gigantic and very comfortable, a wild contrast to her shitty single back at the apartment. Maybe she should invest in a good bed, like she did with her couch.

She turned on her side, careful to not upset her injured ankle, and smiled at Jason, the “good night” on the tip of her tongue.

“Do you…”

“Hm?” She encouraged when he stopped.

Jason cleared his throat and tried again: “Do you not… find me attractive?”

Oh.

Hm.

It was time for that conversation? Well, not the time she would have picked, given that they were sharing a bed in his childhood room; but it is true that one does not pick where conversations happened.

Jazz shuffled around so she was sitting against the headboard too, and picked the hand that was closer to her. She played with his fingers for a moment, admiring how rough his palms were — vaguely remembering when she thought he was an athlete — thinking how she was going to approach this.

“Do you know what an asexual person is?” She tested the waters.

She saw him nod in the corner of her eye. “Yeah. Some of the working girls at the Alley once explained to me.” Jazz nodded. This would make it simpler. “Are you that? Ace?”

Jazz hummed, tilting her head. “I don’t know.” She shrugged. “Never actually cared about labeling things. I just know that there are things others care about that I don’t.”

“So you never…?”

“Being ace and having sex are not mutually exclusive.” She finally looked up at him. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but his intense blue eyes made her blush and look away. “But no. I haven’t slept with anybody before.”

“Not interested?”

His voice was soft. And didn’t let her guess what he thought about it.

Jazz wasn’t going to lie, she had never considered that her lack of experience in sex, or lack of interest whatsoever, could become an issue in their relationship. She wasn’t looking for a relationship in the first place, so she didn’t plan for the scenario that her partner thought her disinterest in sex would be a dealbreaker.

Would it be for Jason?

“I don’t know,” she admitted out loud. “I’ve never— I was always too busy, and investing time in something I don’t actually need always felt like a waste of effort.”

He snorted. “Nerd.”

“But it’s true!” She giggled, letting her shoulders relax. She resumed playing with his hand. “It’s not that I wouldn’t have sex, ever; but more like I don’t… care? Sexual attraction was never in my priority list when looking for a partner.”

He hummed, considering her words.

“But I guess if you are interested I wouldn’t mind it? If it’s with you it’s fine.” She shrugged. She knew there were names and labels for the nuances of how she regarded sexuality, but she didn’t research a lot. Once she understood what she felt was normal and had a term, it was enough for her.

He gently dislodged his hand from her to move his arm around her shoulders, trapping her into a half hug, and squishing her face against his naked chest. She placed a hand on the skin, admiring how warm he was, and vaguely tracing a few of the scars she found there. Mostly healed cuts and barely visible scratches, but she spied a gunshot wound closer to his shoulder.

“That’s enough for me.” He finally said, his voice rumbling in her ear. “And if that changes let me know.”

Warmth bloomed in her chest, making her cheeks burn and her eyes water. Any worry she managed to amass since the conversation started had completely vanished, washed away by those simple words. Fearing rejection over something so simple felt silly after what they have already been through, but the confirmation that he cared hit her like a freight train.

“For the record,” Jazz said, her voice a bit choked from emotion, “I do find you very attractive.”

He squeezed her a little, his soft chuckles vibrating under his skin. “Of course, I’m such a catch.”

“A complete snack.” She smiled up at him.

“A straight up hottie.”

Both giggled, faces close. Jazz was leaning more onto Jason, relishing on his warmth — seriously, this man was a furnace — shuffling a little bit so she could reach his lips.

They kissed softly, not really in a hurry to take things anywhere else.

“I’ve been wanting to do that the whole afternoon.” He said when they parted.

Jazz smiled, readjusting herself so she could kiss him more comfortably, grabbing his hair with her free hand. “Me too.” She said against his lips. “You look so cute when you are annoyed.”

“I’m not cute.” He bit her lower lip. “And you should warn me the next time you go all Dracula on me.”

Jazz groaned and moved away, back to her place under the covers, flustered. “I already said I’m sorry!”

He followed, also getting under the blankets so he could pull her body closer to his chest, successfully trapping her in his arms.

“Just saying, if you need to bite someone I’m game but I need to be mentally prepared.”

He was ready for her fight to get out of his arms, so he trapped her lips when she turned to retaliate. Jazz made angry noises against his lips, but eventually caved and kissed him back, relaxing a little.

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

And she really didn’t, she thought, deciding to drop the topic and let herself be distracted by what he could do with his mouth.

***

Saturday morning in Wayne manor was peaceful. Jason was having shapeless dreams he wouldn’t remember when he woke up, comfortable in the warmth provided by the body in his arms.

And then that peace and quiet was completely shattered.

“What the hell?”

Jason opened his eyes, already cursing himself for sleeping so deeply he didn’t detect the presence in the room.

“I haul my ass as fast as I can because of a worrying and cryptic message,” the voice continued, getting angrier and louder as he spoke, “to find you like— Like— ugh!”

“Danny?” Jazz sat up on the bed, rushing to get out of the covers.

“And he’s naked. Great.”

Jason tried to make his brain work, but it felt like it had been replaced with cotton. He reached for the night table, but of course he didn’t have his knife. Because this wasn’t his apartment. Right. They were at the Manor.

“Do you have any idea how worried I was when I couldn’t find you?” Jason turned to look at the new person, finding Jazz's brother standing there. He was shorter than he expected, and also scrawnier. “I thought— Jazz, do you know where you are exactly?”

“Danny—” She stood up, yelped, and immediately fell back to the bed.

“What happened?” He pointed at her very obviously bandaged foot.

“I fell.”

Danny looked unimpressed. He raised one eyebrow. “And it hasn’t healed?”

“It’s a long story.” Jazz sighed, turned towards Jason. “He is—”

“You know what? I’m not awake enough for this.” The brother interrupted, raising his arms to make a statement. “See you downstairs.”

With that, Danny stomped towards the bedroom door, walked outside and stomped down the hallways without caring about closing the door behind him.

A few tense seconds passed.

“Charming.”

Jazz huffed. “He’s not usually that cranky.” She stretched her arms over her head, sighing. “I guess it’s time to face the music.”

Jason nodded and told her to wait on the bed as he got dressed again.

Weird. Last night he felt like his skin was going to burst when he got undressed, waiting for Jazz to come out of the bathroom. Maybe it was the conversation they had, or maybe it was how easy things became when Jazz was with him; but right then he couldn’t see how sharing a bed with her managed to make him so nervous. It felt silly and childish to care about something like that, especially when he had been intimate with people before.

Jazz felt different. Like he had more to lose. He already had decided he would do and would be whatever she needed and if that meant not ever sleeping together he was ready to accept it.

He knew the conversation wasn’t over regarding the topic, and he had a million more questions, but they could wait for when they weren’t about to walk down for breakfast in his childhood home.

Once he was ready, he picked Jazz up in his arms like the previous night, enjoying her red cheeks and sneaking kisses just because he could.

She mostly stayed put, but right before he made the turn towards the kitchen, she grabbed his head and pulled him down for a deeper kiss, her tongue teasing his lips briefly before she let him go.

“Whatever happens,” she whispered, “please remember I'm the same person.”

Huh. Ominous.

The kitchen was the same as it always was — Alfred's personal haven, where he only allowed the worthy to enter or even assist with cooking.

Right then, the old man watched, entranced, as Danny made wide gestures and huffed and paced around the enormous kitchen, one of Tim's gigantic coffee cups in hand.

“ — and I told him he could shove it where the sun doesn’t shine!” Danny took a sip of the coffee. He looked stressed and not really aware of his surroundings. He probably just picked a cup and got absorbed into his monologue. “But guess what, there’s no sun in the Realms! So he just looked at me like I was an idiot!”

Alfred hummed, a smile teasing his lips.

“I know right?” Danny grumbled, looking at his cup. “Hey do you have a refill, Mr… oh crap I forgot to ask for your name.”

“Alfred Pennyworth, mister.”

“Alfred.” The young man nodded enthusiastically. “Very british. I’ll remember that.”

Someone snorted, coming in from behind Jazz and Jason frozen at the door. This made Danny turn towards his new audience, grimacing when he saw his sister in Jason’s arms.

“You!” He shouted, pointing a finger at his sister.

“Me.” She answered, letting Jason place her on one of the stools at the big kitchen island.

Danny stomped towards the other side of the island.

“You!” He growled. “Don’t you ever do this to me again!” He slammed the empty coffee cup on the marble surface. Miraculously the porcelain didn’t even crack. “I thought another crazy billionaire had kidnapped you to make you fight me to the death, and I find you canoodling with this— this— this guy!!”

Jason didn’t even take offense. The display was entertaining enough. Also, what was that about “another” crazy billionaire kidnapping Jazz? To fight to the death?

“Hello Danny.” Jazz said calmly. “As I was trying to tell you before, this is Jason,” she made a gesture towards him, but didn’t tear her eyes from her brother, “and he’s my boyfriend.”

The younger man’s face went through the five stages of grief in a matter of seconds. His eyes flashed green for a moment, before he closed them and swallowed. When he opened them again, he was glaring at Jason instead.

“Jazz.”

“Yeah?” She answered, giving her thanks to Alfred when he placed a fresh cup in front of her.

Jason accepted his own cup, vaguely registering Dick taking a seat next to him. Or Bruce choosing to become as invisible as he could and shuffle around the kitchen toward where Alfred observed the showdown from a safe distance.

“Jasmine.”

“Daniel.” She sipped her cup, grimacing a bit. She wasn’t a huge fan of coffee. “Hey, did you bring my medicine?”

Still glaring, he reached inside his chest, casually pulling out a little white box. There was something made of glass inside clinking when he slid it across the island for Jazz to catch. When she opened it, six fresh vials of Lazarus Waters glowed inside.

“Six?” She noticed. “They look really good.”

“Had a good batch this time.” He nodded, his glare losing intensity under the praise. But immediately glared at Jason again as if remembering he was supposed to be mad. “And don’t change the topic.”

“What topic?” Jazz ignored her brother while she picked one of the vials, uncorked it and poured the contents in her cup.

Jason crossed stares with Bruce, speechless as both watched Jazz drink the whole thing in one go. She made a face.

“It’s better with tea.”

“Oh don’t you start.”

“Start what?” She winced. Her eyes started glowing a bright green. She looked in pain for a moment, but as quickly as it came, it was gone.

“Jazz.”

“Danny.” She checked her cup was empty, turning it upside down over her waiting open mouth. A few drops fell on her tongue.

The younger brother slammed his hands on the marble. “Stop ignoring me!” He complained. “And explain yourself. What’s with Mr Muscles over there? What the hell have you been doing?”

Jazz softly placed the cup on the island. She folded her hands, and finally looked at her brother. “I told you. He’s my boyfriend.”

“Jazzy, Jazzy, we talked about this,” Danny grabbed his hair in despair. “You have terrible taste in men.”

“Excuse me?”

“Is this going to be like Johnny? Is that it? A bad boy with a motorcycle and leather jacket makes eyes at you and that’s all it takes?” Danny glanced at Jason. “No offense.”

“None taken.” He wasn’t sure he was supposed to speak, but did anyway. Danny was hilarious.

Dick choked on his coffee.

“He’s not like Johnny.” Jazz defended herself. “Jason is—”

“Or maybe like the other one?” Danny interrupted. “What’s-his-name— David! Yeah. Is this a repeat of that one?”

It was Jazz’s time to slam her hands on the marble. “He is not like him!”

Danny bristled, a soft hissing sound blooming in his throat. “Are you sure? Because that one— what was the report? Dislocated shoulder and a shattered hand?”

“I told you I didn’t need your help!” Jazz bristled as well, exposing her fangs in an angry hiss. “And he is not the same!”

“That’s what you said the last time!!” Somehow Danny became taller. Was he floating? His pitch black hair moved like hit by an invisible breeze, too. “No offense.”

Jason didn’t know if he should laugh or intervene. “None taken.” He assured again, controlling his smile.

“And you the one to talk?!” Jazz’s hands tensed. “Should we talk about your horrible taste in women? Huh?”

“Don’t you—!”

“Paulina!”

“It was in highschool!” Danny growled. “What are you—”

“Valerie!” She growled back. The sound wasn’t animalistic, but still not quite human. Jason had never heard something like that, even less coming from the chest of his sweet girlfriend.

“What about her!”

“She tried to kill you!”

“But she never succeeded!” Danny bared his fangs. “And we are cool now!”

What was even happening?

“Sam!”

“Hey!”

“She killed you!” Jazz’s hair started to float, too, right the moment her eyes glowed green again. “Twice!”

That was apparently going too far. Danny’s growl escalated to a full on roar, his body now floating closer to the ceiling. They could see his tapered ears and sharp fangs on full display.

Jazz glared at him from her seat, her hair rising and falling on beat with her heavy breathing; fangs bared and clawed hands raised, ready to fight her own brother. She opened her arms and exposed her chest, making Jason wonder what was about to happen.

In a blink of an eye, all hostility was gone from Danny as he floated towards his sister faster than the human eye could follow — one moment he was on the other side of the island and close to the tall ceiling, and the next he was hugging his sister like his life depended on it.

“I missed you.” His voice was choked and muffled, but the emotion in it was obvious.

“I know.” Jazz circled her arms around Danny like it was the most natural thing in the world. She pressed him tight against her body, her head on top of his, rubbing her cheek against his hair. “I missed you too.”

Everyone held their breaths, waiting to see what Danny would say, but the young man was out cold. Soft snores resonated in the otherwise silent kitchen.

Jazz cleared her throat. Her smile was radiant and warm, like they usually were, as she turned to look at Jason. “Can I put him in your room? He will probably nap for a few more hours.”

Dazzled, Jason just nodded and watched as she hopped down the stool on her — previously — injured ankle and quickly made her exit from the kitchen while easily carrying her brother.

Bruce cleared his throat when they stopped hearing her soft steps. “So…”

“Yeah.” Jason licked his lips and decided to take a sip of his own cup of coffee. It was lukewarm. “That’s, uh... That’s her brother.”

He looked down to where Jazz slammed her hands, finding a crack on the marble. It wasn’t enough to compromise the structure, but it wasn’t small either.

Choosing not to bring attention to that fact, he just sipped his coffee and ignored the barrage of questions from the others. It wasn’t like he knew the answers anyway.

---

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#hardcover ship #jazz x jason #dpxdc #anger management ship #jazz/jason #dp x dc #dc x dp #batpham #friendly neighborhood vigilante #neighbors au

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