#should i change it to ‘stats’ in general instead…? yeah i think i’ll do that.

[deus-ex-mona]

cutest gamer in the world…

[lightsovermonaco]

Speed and Stress: Part 2

Masterlist

Thank you to @acollectionofficsandshit for betaing, your comments on this one were unhinged gold 

Word Count: 3.1k

Recommended Vibes: “Perfect Day” by Tundra Beats

Part 1

Your brother was late. Not that anyone was surprised.

“Got the time mixed up,” he says as you climb into his absurdly tall truck. Living in Texas for three years had turned him into somewhat of a country boy, though not enough that he forgot his upbringing. He was still a blue blooded Los Angeles boy, just with a love for trucks and longhorn cattle.

“At least I wasn’t waiting for an hour this time,” you say and sling your bag to the backseat. Deciding to get right to the good stuff, you clasp  your hands together. “So! I have some news.”

Hunter grins at you. “You finally found a job?”

You roll your eyes and shoot him a pointed look. “No, dipshit. Better than that. I got us paddock passes for the whole weekend.”

“WHAT?” He jerks the wheel, horns honking at you as other drivers swerve. You grab the dash to steady yourself, laughing at his outburst. “Do you know how hard it was for me to get general admission tickets? How the hell did you get paddock passes?”

“May have met someone pretty high up at McLaren in Los Angeles,” you say, examining your nails.

“Like, Zak Brown? You met Zak Brown?” Hunter was such a fan boy, you had to laugh. His love for McLaren ran so deep he practically bled blue and orange. The only reason you watched the sport was because of him shoving it down your throat for years, but damn if you weren't glad for it.

“Daniel Ricciardo.”

Hunter choked on air but managed to stay in his lane this time. “And you waited until now to tell me?”

“I didn’t know it was him when I met him! He was on a motorcycle and I stopped to help film a tiktok and then-”

“Of course you’d stop,” he mutters, shaking his head. “You’re a sucker for bikes.”

“Yeah well, lucky that I am, cause all I had to do was flirt to get us those passes.”

Your intention had never been to take advantage of Daniel. It was more the opposite in fact; you were just living in the moment and capitalizing on the once in a lifetime opportunity to flirt with your celebrity crush. You had to admit, it turned out better than you'd ever thought it would.

“I can’t believe you seduced Daniel freakin’ Ricciardo,” he says, shaking his head. “You astound me.”

“I didn’t seduce him!” You protest.

"Sorry my bad. You charmed him. That sound better?"

You roll your eyes. "Whatever. I damn near had a heart attack when I figured out it was him but he was kind enough to let me brush it off."

"Well, thank god for your two-wheeled obsession because without it, we would be watching the prix from the nosebleeds."

You laugh and shake your head. Hunter tended to have a poor filter when he was excited and tended to spew whatever was on his mind. "Just watch your tongue this weekend, alright? I'd rather embarrass myself than have you do it for me."

Hunter gives a mock salute. "Yes ma'am."

**********

You'd stuffed five different outfits in your bag in preparation for the grand prix weekend. In theory, it shouldn't be hard to decide what to wear. But Friday morning you changed clothes so many times you lost count. No matter what combination you tried you weren't satisfied.

Finally, you give up and settle on a McLaren polo and denim shorts. Simple and comfortable, but form fitting enough to catch Daniel's eye should you run into him.

You knew you shouldn't, but you pull out your phone to text him anyway.

Thanks again for the tickets. Let me know if you've got any free time so I can properly thank you!

You hit send before your brain has the chance to overanalyze the message. You check your phone obsessively the entire drive to the circuit, only half expecting a response. You tuck your phone in your pocket when you get to the gates, determined not to let it get to you. Daniel warned you he would be busy, and you knew that responding to you was likely on the low end of his list of priorities.

Hunter gets you to the circuit a half hour before they let fans in and you have to listen to him ramble about driver stats the entire time. Normally you don't mind; guessing who's most likely to win each Sunday is something of a competition in your household. But today, you couldn't focus enough to put any thought into your prediction, instead just blurting Daniel's name.

"You're only saying that cause he's into you," Hunter says, grinning savagely. "He struggles in Austin and you know it."

"So? He's in a McLaren this year. You saw his pace in Bahrain, and that was with a damaged floor! He'll podium for sure." You cross your arms and return his grin. "Besides, he's motivated."

"Oh, is he?"

"I told him I'd buy the winner of the United States grand prix a drink. Up to him whether it's him or Verstappen."

"Oh my god you have a date with Daniel Ricciardo?"

"Dude, chill out. It's not set in stone. Honestly, he's probably forgotten that I exist."

"Has he texted you?"

You glance down at your phone and are greeted with an empty inbox. "No. Not after the initial time so I could have his number." You shrug and pick an invisible piece of lint from your arm. "But he said he'd be too busy anyway."

"Guess we'll see once we get to will call, huh? If he's forgotten about you."

"Yeah." An odd feeling rolls through you. It feels a bit like nerves mixed with hope, but you stamp down on it. You were here to enjoy yourself. The trip of a lifetime had been handed to you on a golden platter and you were wont to let something as trivial as nervousness ruin it.

Bells chime as you step into the blissfully cool will call office. A blonde woman with a bit too much blush dusted on her cheeks greets you with a smile. 

"What can I do for you?"

"Picking up some tickets that were left for me by a driver?" You try, unsure of the proper procedure. "I don't have a paper or anything."

She waves a hand in the air as if she expected as much. "All I need is your identification. They should be under the name."

"Oh uh, of course." You motion for Hunter to hand over your wallet and show the woman your driver's license.

"Great. Wait here and I'll grab those for you."

You drum your fingers on the desk while waiting for her to return. After what feels like ages she re-emerges empty handed.

"I'm not seeing anything here with your name on it," she says, her plastic smile at odds with her sincerity. "I'm afraid your tickets aren't valid until Sunday."

"Can you double check? Daniel said they'd be here-"

"So sorry. There's no record of anyone dropping tickets off for you."

You blink, holding your tongue in the face of her blunt response. "Okay. I guess ill try and get it sorted out."

Hunter breaks the tension. "Can't you call him?"

"I can't just call him, I'm sure he's busy."

"Either that or we don't get in. Just do it, he gave you his number and specifically told you to let him know if there were any problems, didn't he?"

Yes he had, but that didn't mean you wanted to disturb him. He was probably knees deep in some sort of race weekend press conference or drivers meeting and heaven forbid you interrupt.  But it was either that or you slink home disappointed and empty handed.

"Fine," you grumble, pulling out your phone with deliberate slowness. Hunter crosses his arms and tips his head to the side, a smile playing on his lips.

"Well?"

"It's dialing, you good for nothing busybody-"

"I was wondering how long it would take you to call," Daniel answers, voice radiating sunshine.

You cut right to the chase, not giving yourself a single second to evaluate how your heart skips. "Look, I don't wanna distract you on a race weekend but I'm at will call and they're telling me they can't find any passes left for me."

"Let me guess," he starts, raising his voice to be heard over the pneumatic tools in the background, "You're dealing with Jenny?"

Your eyes fall to the name on the woman's lanyard. She shifts under your gaze like she knew exactly who you were on the phone with. "Yep. Spot on."

"Kinda figured she would be a problem. She's got a huge crush on me and does this every time."

You fight back the strange sensation his offhand comment brings to the surface. "Oh, really?"

"I'll be right there. Give me ten minutes or so."

"Oh you don't have to-"

"Hey, no big deal. I gotta go that way anyway."

"Uh, okay. See you soon?"

"Yup. On my way."

You hang up and stare down at the phone, stunned.

"Well?" Hunter asks.

"I guess he's coming here to sort it out himself."

He blinks rapidly and shakes his head. "Hold on. Are you telling me that I get to meet Daniel? Like right now?"

"Can you relax?" You laugh lightly. "Honestly you're gonna freak him out."

"Uh, yeah sure. No big deal, just meeting one of my favorite drivers in the minus five minutes and I'm completely unprepared. It's fine."

If you roll your eyes any harder they'd pop out of your head. "Relax. He's laid back, but I don't want you to freak out and embarrass us both."

"Excuse me," Jenny breaks in, her distaste clear. "Please move aside if you're not picking up passes."

"Er, yeah. Sorry." You shuffle awkwardly off to the side to wait. Cheesy elevator music plays and Jenny shoots you glares until the door squeaks open and the human incarnation of the sun steps inside. Your breathing stutters when the Australian shoots you a wink and a grin before sauntering up to the counter.

"Why hello there Jen," he says, and she giggles coyly. 

"Hi Daniel." She lays a hand on his forearm, the touch light and flirty. "What can I help you with?"

Daniel leans into her, whispering conspiratorially. Whatever he says has her bold smile faltering, replaced by a mask of professional cheer. Daniel shoots you another wink as the woman retreats to a back room, returning moments later with your supposedly missing passes.

"Thank you," Daniel says sweetly, taking them from her and turning to you. "I think these are yours."

"Thanks." You take the passes and hand one off to your awestruck brother. You nudge him and he comes to his senses in time to shake the hand Daniel sticks out.

"You must be the brother," he says. "I see you're a fan."

Dressed head to toe in McLaren colors, there was no other conclusion for Daniel to draw. For once your brother is the one stunned into silence so you answer for him, "Yeah, only a little. He was crushed when you left Red Bull cause Max is his other favorite driver and now he has to split his loyalties between teams."

Dan's laugh snaps Hunter out of his trance. "I know you're busy but do you think you can sign something for me?"

"Of course. How about this?" Daniel snatches the hat from Hunter's head and produces a sharpie from his pocket, signing the brim with practiced efficiency. 

"He'll be texting the group chat about that as soon as you're gone," you tell Daniel who laughs along with you.

Heat rises to your cheeks as Daniel's assessing gaze sweeps you from head to toe. "McLaren orange looks good on you."

Channeling his easy confidence you flash him a grin. "Not as good as it looks on you."

He smooths the hem of his soft shell jacket, smile turning bashful. "Anyway. I gotta run. See you Sunday after I win!"

Your eyes follow him as he jogs back through the paddock until he's swallowed by the crowd. You sigh, shifting your weight from foot to foot. God, he was gorgeous. And he had such a big heart. It was a shame someone hadn't snatched him up yet, but then again, that meant you still had a shot, even if it was a slim one.

"So where exactly do these get us?" Hunter toys with the lanyard now placed around his neck. "It doesn't say."

"I'm guessing the McLaren lounge," you say and point to the logo on the passes. "Above the garage."

"That's the perfect vantage point for practice."

And it was the perfect view- before getting in the car Daniel walked out into the pit, suited up in his cobalt racesuit and minty helmet and glanced up. You weren't sure if he saw you or not when you waved but he gave a little salute nonetheless.

Hunter was practically glued to the bank of floor to ceiling windows for the entirety of free practice, immersing himself in the experience. You found yourself glancing at the timing tables every lap, silently hoping to see the RIC tag move up. By the end of the second session he had been fourth fastest, a few tenths behind both Mercedes and the Red Bull of Verstappen. 

By the time you make it back to Hunter's house, you're both exhausted from a full day of running up and down the paddock. The pair of you had been determined to soak up every second of it, sneaking into whatever offices you could and stealing bites off the buffets and cups of coffee. 

Saturday’s free practice and qualifying session pass in a blur of color. Daniel drags his McLaren up the ranks to qualify fourth, his best starting position so far this season. He had a decent shot at the podium- Bottas should be easy pickings and if Verstappen and Hamilton made any mistakes, Daniel might even have a shot at the win.

The excitement in the air is palpable as you both flash your badges and head back up the now familiar path to the McLaren lounge. An hour before lights out, the v6 engines rumble to life below. You venture out onto the balcony, watching and waiting for a glimpse of Daniel.

The Aussie does you one better by walking out, race suit on and helmet in hand. He chats animatedly with Michael before stopping and craning his neck upwards. Michael nudges him with his elbow but Dan ignores him, answering your tiny wave with a wink. He mimes taking a drink and you roll your eyes.

Dan throws his head back and laughs, audible over the cacophony below. He gives you one final salute before Michael drags him back into the garage.

Ten minutes later cars begin streaming out on track, Daniel taking the fourth grid place as his mechanics once again swarm him. Tire blankets are secured, keeping them warm and pliable ahead of the formation lap. Thirty seconds before the boys are released, they're peeled back off as everyone scrambles off the pavement. Verstappen leads them away down the 3.4 mile track for the formation lap. Dan does a few small power slides before taking his place on the second row.

One by one, the red lights illuminate and disappear quicker than your blink. Daniel gets away clean while Bottas stumbles out of the gate, leaving himself wide open for Daniel's overtake on his right side. Cheers erupt around you, your brother going so far as to lift you off your feet.

Maybe Dan had a shot at winning after all.

A nail-biting 38 laps pass without a change in the order of the top three. Finally, a mistake in Max's pit stop sees him return to track third, just behind Daniel. The McLaren driver puts up the fight of his life, late braking at every corner and defending his position for all he was worth. Lewis was twenty seconds ahead- he wouldn't be winning but he could defend his second place spot.

Lewis Hamilton, race winner for the seventh time at the Circuit of the Americas!

Daniel Ricciardo crosses the line second, Max Verstappen takes home that last podium step for Red Bull. An astonishing fifty six laps here today in Austin!

The box erupts around you, a roar of cheers making it impossible to hear what else Crofty and Brundle were saying. But it didn't matter as Daniel raises his fist when he swings back into parc ferme, jumping out to be congratulated by his team. It was his first podium for the papaya team and you can tell it means the world to them.

"Looks like you're taking Lewis out for a drink," your brother teases. "Told you he wouldn't win."

"He almost won," you counter. "But hey, I'm not above asking Lewis on a date. Could you imagine? I mean, he would never agree, but still. It would be a hell of a date."

If you crane your neck from the balcony, you can just barely see the podium. Everyone goes quiet for the anthems and erupts again when the champagne is sprayed. The McLaren team chant for a shoey, which Daniel obliges. He sits to unlace his mint green boot and pours champagne into it, drinking from the boot before passing it to Max who joins in on the fun. 

Just as quickly as it began, the celebrations ebb. Daniel is the first to leave the podium which seems odd, given that the PR department surely wants his first big win for the team to be well documented.

Your phone buzzes a second layer. You fish it out of your pocket, a Cheshire grin splitting your face.

"Shouldn't you be busy celebrating?"

"I am," Dan starts, sounding breathless. You can barely hear him over the sound of the crowds chants behind him. "But I want to celebrate with you. I know I didn't win, but how about you let me buy you a drink instead?"

You barely hear anything beyond his first sentence. I want to celebrate with you. Were you dreaming? There was no way this was real.

"Um, I'm sorry, you want to celebrate by going out with me instead of your team?"

"If you'll let me. Hey- just text me okay? I can barely hear you over everyone screaming my name. It may be going to my head."

You laugh, drawing the attention of the vip's nearest you. You give an apologetic smile and move further from the crowd. "I'll text you an address. See you later, second place."

[mallowstep]

Genetics ask! I know that male torties/torbies are very rare and caused by a genetic mutation, but with those who do exist, are there any prerequisites with their parents? I’m assuming they’d have to carry the red gene since tortoiseshell is one red, one not-red, but I barely know anything. And based on this, is it better to just headcanon cats like Redtail as biologically female?

alright! hello, anon.

since i had to do more research than usual for this one, reminder that:

i am not an expert. i can and will be wrong. you can find my self-corrections under #corrections, but those are only things i or others have noticed, and that i've had the time to write a correction to and explain.

disclaimers out of the way, let's talk about tortie toms. (and torbie toms, and calico toms, it's all the same deal.)

if you know how ginger works, you can skip the next few paragraphs.

orange (ginger, red, etc.) is sex-linked in cats. what this means is that the gene that causes orange cats is on the x chromosome. it is also codominant, which means that having an orange x chromosome (Xo) and a non-orange x chromosome (X) is not black or orange, but both.

basically:

X or XX: black

Xo or XoXo: orange

XXo: tortoiseshell

yeah?

now, for the rest of this post, i'm going to be writing O and o instead of Xo and X because it's one less character and i don't run the risk of putting three x chromosomes together.

okay. so because torties need two x chromosomes, they're typically female. the way tortie itself works is basically, cells activate one of the genes (O or o) at random, creating patches. so you need two copies.

wikipedia says about a third of male torties have klinefelter's, which is the XXY karyotype. while this does have physical changes associated with it, the only way to confirm (humans have) klinefelter's is to test it genetically.

luckily, cats are very helpful about demonstrating it. what with them being tortie and all.

(we're also lumping in the variations of klinefelter's here. you can get XXYY, etc., and they all fit into the same broad idea.)

anyway, the extra x chromosome can come from either the mother or the father. this makes tortie toms...not quite easier, since the prereqs are the same, but y'know. if mom is Oo, dad doesn't matter. if mom is OO, dad has to be o, and if mom is oo, dad has to be O. same rules as usual.

XXY toms are going to be...not sterile, but pretty infertile. using human stats, about 50% can produce sperm, although the likelihood of them having kits is still low. humans with klinefelter's are also taller than average, so keep that in mind.

again, and this might be a correction on my part, i can't remember, but tortie toms aren't strictly going to be visibly different than other toms.

okay, so most people stop at klinefelter's, but there are two other ways to get tortie toms: mosiacism and chimerism. these are often confused/combined, but because i strive for generally being accurate, i'll go over them both.

mosaic cats carry multiple genetic lines, because of a mutation. this can either be somatic (happens in the body, is not hereditary), or germline (happens in reproductive cells of parents, is hereditary).

this is not always a gain of a line, you can lose a chromosome as well. the difference between somatic and germline and how it affects torties goes over my head, so i'm not going to speak to it, other than i'm pretty sure we're talking about somatic mosaicism. i think. again, not a biologist or geneticist, just a hobbyist with an internet connection.

right, so what happens is basically, some cells lose their extra x chromosome, giving you a cat with karyotype XXY/XY. these cats are more likely to be fertile and generally have less effects of klinefelter's. i'm not entirely sure how this affects tortie presentation, if at all, but it does happen.

i suppose you could also have some kind of mutation that gives you an extra x spontaneously, but that would be unlikely to cause torties, because it would also have to mutate into the other O allele.

again, i really want to stress that while i'm not bullshitting, i'm also not speaking definitively here.

last up is chimerism, where two embryos fuse in the womb, creating mixed genes.

i'm using a picture of a dog, here, because this is what goes through my head when i think of chimeras. you'll have to take my word for it, but while this would be a normal tortie cat, it can't really happen in dogs without some kind of mutation. and chimerism, given the extent of the patching, is pretty likely.

right! chimera torties are going to be, afaik, normal levels of fertile, although it's likely that they can pass on either black or red, not both.

(while i'm here, before we move on, there are a lot of types of chimeras. this type is called tetragametic chimerism, and it's rare in humans but more common in other animals. it's hard to know how common it is, because the differences are often very subtle, and hard to test. it's also not mutually exclusive with mosaics or klinefelter's, just to really muddy the waters.)

i don't have statistics for how common mosaics and chimeras are, and there's always, "a different type of mutation that doesn't fall into this category"

for mosaics and chimeras, the rules for inheritance seem to be the same as for klinefelter's. there's the added note that, because there can be multiple sires within one litter, a ginger queen could have kits with a ginger tom, and get a tortie son, as long as she also...ahem...with a black(/brown, etc.) tom. (or vice versa, with all brown and a ginger.)

okay! so that's basically how it happens.

as for the second part of this question, well. "is it better?" is a matter of opinion. i don't think anyone is wrong for having tortie toms. i don't care. (a) it is possible, and (b) we're all just having fun.

i, personally, do not think redtail is karyotype XX, because i like him being sandstorm's father with brindleface. idk. i like brindleface. yes, i know this raises huge genetic problems, and it's not very canon. i don't really care. i read that redtail fic where he thinks about sand&brindle as he's dying and it hasn't left me.

that said, i'm still a sucker for trans redtail. love it. idk, this is kind of hard to explain. like? it's not my headcanon, but i still appreciate it.

anyway! to the point: if you care about statistics and likelihoods and how many tortie toms you've had in the clan, yes, you're probably better off saving your chromosome anomalies for when they need to have kits, and using XX karyotype for the rest.

(under the cut: matthew rambles about trans cats and gender identity for a while)

i'm pretty sure cats don't have the western concept of gender. i don't think they have a human concept of gender, either, but at some point i need to be able to pin down something, and i think a third/fourth gender is closer to what they have.

i've been thinking about this a lot lately, because i decided i wasn't satisfied with my old approach to trans cats. i can do better than that. i decided cats don't have gendered pronouns, so why should the solution be, "trans cats don't really get to do anything about it"

no. i am dissatisfied with that.

at the same time, for specific reasons: i also don't think cats are trans in the western sense of the word.

because if for nothing else, remember that cat sexual dimorphism has a bigger effect on their life than in humans.

like, queens are going to be uncomfortable around male cats they don't hella trust and their kits. that doesn't go away if said male cat isn't a tom. y'know?

i'm in a constant state of tweaks with this, because i basically: form opinion, test opinion, refine opinion. my initial opinion was too harsh. and!

part of what's changed is i decided i wanted fernsong to be able to raise his kits in the nursery instead of ivypool. so i had to adjust how i think the nursery and queens work, slightly, to permit for that. now, i can turn back to gender and think about it some more.

i'm not going to coin any new terms, because i'm not in that kind of mood, but i think there is some idea of a female cat who is not a she-cat. i don't think the cats would call them a tom, but i'm not sure what they would say or how they would describe it.

i think they would just, on some level, get it.

actually okay you know what! i do need some lingo here. queens = cats who are raising kits in the nursery. she-cats = XX karyotype, considers self female (cis, if you will). toms = XY karyotype, considers self male (cis, again). and uh...we'll go with...

god i hate. i don't want anything i say in this ramble to be considered "words i am going to now use consistently" because i literally just need some way to describe this for my own sanity. with that in mind, let us use molly for XY karyotype, but not a tom, and...how about gib for XX karyotype, not a she-cat.

again, i don't want that to be considered permanent, i'm just fishing at words people use to describe cats so i can have something to work with.

right so, i don't think cats think gib and tom are equivalent, but i also don't think they (as a society) care about that.

like, okay, let's say redtail is XX, but not a she-cat. there's nothing to really be done (heck, if he wants to be a queen, that's still fine), cats don't have gendered pronouns or names, but at the same time, there's an intuitive understanding of what that means.

this kind of ties into the matriarchy, kind of? like, hm, queens are an important part of the matriarchy, but at the same time, she-cats inherit family lines. not that cats inherit much, but still.

i'm getting very abstract here. take, uh, like let's say a hypothetical trans mothwing. i think a lot of people have that headcanon?

and i think, like, mothwing would not be considered a tom. if cats had a concept of sexuality, leafpool would not be straight, because she likes mothwing, and mothwing is not a tom.

but! i would still think willowshine probably is the first line for nursery visits, at least when the kits are very young.

and i don't think anyone there would be unhappy with that deal.

right. i just kept rambling for a while, because i've been thinking about this and obviously it's semi-tied to the question.

tl/dr: cats don't care about gender, because they are cats meowing at each other in the woods. if a cat says they're not agab, everyone is just cool with that.

[noelclover]

On Genshin Impact: Zhongli

Now I’d like to preface this by saying that I do appreciate Jinjinx and Tuner and their maths and that this isn’t a criticism of them as much as it is a criticism to the folks out there who hate Zhongli and the various arguments given. a) We were baited into rolling through MiHoYo’s false advertising. No. You weren’t. You were baited into rolling for the character because of information obtained from a beta because you can’t understand the simple concept that whatever happens in a beta is subject to change. Unless you mean to tell me that you looked at a cool ad wherein a character attacks and decided that he’s DPS material, which is... kind of understandable but strange, as that would mean that if Soraka is seen attacking, she’s an ADC. ((No, please don’t build Soraka ADC, I’ve seen it, it’s really, really iffy.))

b) Why wouldn’t they make him a DPS if they gave him cool animations?

Why wouldn’t they? The visual design of a character does not necessarily correlate to their roles. Not all wizards have pointy hats and be old, not all fighters walk around in breastplate.

c) He’s not even a good support!

Debatable, but it’s very hard to weight defensive supports against offensive ones because the latter is generally more flashy and something you can really feel while the former is a lot less exciting to think about.

d) Noelle’s shield is better than his!

Noelle’s shield scales with her DEF, which is something you’ll probably be building on her due to how her Burst scales.

Zhongli’s shield scales with HP%

This means that, depending on the calculation, odds are Noelle’s shield will be tankier than Zhongli’s, if only because there’s not as much damage reduction (as far as I understand it. I don’t really know shield mechanics and whether or not damage reduction applies before damage is applied to the shield. It it does then you’ll get more mileage from Noelle’s shield because you probably stacked defense, which means a greater percentage of damage reduction, which means less damage is applied to the shield.) So yes, her shield is better than his, except for the simple fact that his shield does AoE, thus generating quite a few shields for you to pick up and has half the cooldown her does, while having roughly double the duration. This means that if you use his shield not to enable your (masochistic) face-tank fantasies but as a safety net or an opportunity to sneak in some extra attacks, his shield will probably last you all the way up to recast.

Does this make his shield better than hers instead? No clue, it really depends on how you use it and honestly, I think it’s impossible to calculate shield value by virtue of it being a shield. You have to calculate the number of hits a shield can take, how much DPS you lose out on a stagger, the opportunity cost of attacking while the shield is up, etc etc. I personally think that his shield is good if you’re a somewhat decent player because it’s a nice safety net. e) He doesn’t do good damage! Xiangling does more damage than him! He’s a support, not a DPS. I don’t know what their stats are as the wiki doesn’t state it, but he may have more base stats than her, which in turn would work much like the Diluc vs Razor argument, wherein Razor has a higher attack percentage on his attacks but Diluc has a high base stat to work with resulting in Diluc outdamaging Razor anyway. Dreamy made a video on it, I don’t really remember much from it though as it’s been a while. f) He’s bad, you just can’t admit it!

He’s not bad, but I certainly won’t say he’s great. Is he worthy of being called a 5 star unit? Honestly? That’s debatable. The only other 5 star I have is Childe and he can’t reach his maximum potential with me (at c0) because I don’t have the crit damage bow he needs. I do have Diluc on my NA account which I don’t play and I’ll admit that Diluc feels really smooth to use and play however, but he’s basically Riven and saying that an easy-to-use-Riven feels better to play than tanky-Trundle is kinda... well yeah. Hard comparison. g) According to the numbers, he’s not worth it! It really depends. I don’t agree with Tuner’s statement that Zhongli is only good when you can swap out a character because you’d have enough DPS for your content because I think Zhongli can provide some quality of life that makes it easier for you to clear said content. Additionally, if you pair him with Geo MC (and why wouldn’t you) you’d get quite a bit of free damage. Hell, even pairing him with Ningguang is pretty darn good due to her buff from walking through the screen and his pillars basically letting her act as a turret, which means that he can enable more DPS output that you would otherwise (because dodging takes up time and stamina which can be converted to more DPS). Given that it’s tremendously difficult to calculate quality of life changes (literally how), I’m really not sure one can say that he’s bad. Underwhelming perhaps because of them, but not bad. h) You’re just unhappy he’s getting buffs! No, I’m happy he’s getting buffs. I just don’t think this was the buff he needed. If anything, I really want his pillar to generate energy, and, though it’s definitely broken, for it to scale with the number of constructs around. I’d like for Zhongli to do an Unlimited Meteor Works. Additionally, I’m not sure about buffing a character because of a community whining for him to be something he wasn’t meant to be is a good thing, and that’s power creep aside. Yeah, it’s a PvE game and so power creep may not (to some) matter as much, but I’ve seen how games can be ruined by power creep. i) You’re just a blind devotee to MiHoYo and Zhongli! Or you’re paid!

I wish they were paying me, and no. I wish MiHoYo wouldn’t make the whatever-oculus’ into a treasure hunt. It’s annoying. I wish Violetgrass was available for purchase. I think getting 4 star weapons on the character banner is asinine and you should get the banner character guaranteed for your first 5 star when you roll on that banner. Additionally, I wish that they would make MC’s ability to change elements easier, I think resin makes sense but is kind of ass and I wish exp is easier to earn.

The game has faults, as does the company because they’re the ones making them.

Also I don’t even Honkai Impact, I installed it and didn’t touch it on my phone for 3 months. I personally think that Zhongli makes a player’s life easier. It doesn’t mean that I think he’s someone you should absolutely roll for, or that he’s without flaws. When I look at a character and their kit, I think about the role they fill and not the roll I want them to fill.

[welcome-to-afterlife]

before we all go.. could i pls request... cyrille content. literally anything you feel like writing, i'm just really attached to the boy and sad to see him and the game go :(

Why did my brain decide to go with the saddest options like I don’t want to cry while writing this, but here I am :))). Anywho, I decided to write about what your last day with Cyrille at the 14th Department would be like. It’s time to give some closure.

When Cyrille hears the news, his brain freezes. He knew that you were going to leave someday (everything comes and goes after all), but he didn’t expect it to be so soon. Nor did he expect it hit him straight in the chest. It hurts so much and he curses all his emotions to make him so weak. 

Just the mere thought of you leaves makes him irritated. At first, he tries to find reasons to keep you in the 14th Department. Yeah maybe the stats for purified souls have gone up rapidly in the last few months, but it could be better. He creates a data model that shows the worst-case scenario to the department’s performance if the manager leaves them. It might be slightly skewed to scare everyone else, but he’ll do anything to get you to stay.

He puts up a long, hard fight about it. Logically, there are so many reasons why the manager could and should stay. But he soon realizes that there’s no point in fighting for something that he can’t change. So he holes himself in his room and throws himself into his work.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t work. Cyrille tries to put it at the back of his mind, but he can’t stop thinking about what life is going to be like once you’re gone. Who else is going to listen to his passion for science without judging him? You’re the only person with emotions that he has grown attached to. 

So Cyrille decides to spend the whole day with his favorite person. A final farewell before they leave him forever. It was a painful concept to grasp, but he didn’t want his sadness to ruin the mood. Instead, he lines up a few crazy experiments that he and the manager can enjoy! It’s as simple as creating tornados inside bottles, creating a hybrid rocket engine with some yeast and hydrogen peroxide, working with dry ice, and watching blowing up random stuff. While it’s elementary-level to him, Cyrille can’t stop laughing at your reactions and flexing his vast knowledge of science.

Next, the two of you try to test the limits of electricity in the Otherworld. Cyrille created a generator that is able to open a portal to any place in the world (theoretically) and he decides to try it out with you. The two of you carry the machine to the power room and Cyrille plugs the hunk of metal into the outlet. You jump in glee as a small, purple ring appears in the middle of the room. However, it all disappears when the power goes out (because the machine used up all the power). You can hear Nyang Lead Manager screaming to kill you guys.

Before you can say anything, Cyrille grabs your hand and you both make a run for it. Nyang Lead Manager’s shouting is drowned by Cyrille’s laughter as he takes your hand and finds shelter behind some bushes.

The two of you sprawl on the floor and take a moment to rest. Once Cyrille gets up, he pops the question. “Are you really going to leave us?” He stares at the floor, kicking the pebbles at his feet. His eyes are covered in a thin layer of teary-film. But no matter what your answer is, he’s willing to put his pride aside and give you one last hug.

“Don’t worry. I’ll get that portal machine up and running so I can visit you whenever I want! But in the meantime, you better not forget about me! You can’t forget about someone like me!” The tears begin to spill from his eyes as he squeezes you tighter, but the heavy weight on his chest is slowly disappearing. 

 No matter where you go or what you do, just know that Cyrille is always watching over.

Farewell, Cyrille.

[bnha-scenarios]

☕️ Special Thanks ☕️ 

As always, thank you so much for the coffee! Your kindness are very much appreciated! ♡

Emilija | Regan | Nela Kovaříková | 1 Anon

Onwards to the progress update.

I had. So. Many. Things. That I actually wanted to complete.

… Alas, work decided to be a bitch and swamp me with things to take care of. To put it simply, there were a lot of issues that caused a lot of overtime work even on weekends, so I had to step away from coding most of the time so I won’t burn myself out.

So yeah, I didn’t manage to complete a lot of features, though I did dabble on some stuff here and there. I’m not happy with the rather small progress either. But life happens, and there are just other things that are more important sometimes. So we just have to let it go and look forward to the next month!

I’d say that this month I was quite productive in terms of organization and planning instead of the actual coding. I have at least identified what I need to write for the ‘free activity’ time of the game, which makes about 30-40% of the gameplay itself. However, actually writing the scenes and executing it is a different effort altogether, which I have only started to embark on.

Still, it’s crazy to think that the development for the full game has been actively going for around three and a half months now. Whew. Knowing that I have a tendency to hyperfocus and then get tired of something after a short time frame, I’m going to at the very least give myself a pat on the back for still keeping this project up and running until now.

More details below ↓

Added Route: Kirishima

Let me preface this first with a declaration: I won’t be adding any more love interest after this. Please please please don’t make me do it 😅 Going through all the plans and re-setting up things to figure out how to add him in was such a painful experience…

But anyway. I will be adding this boy’s route to the full game, because a lot of people seem to want to have him in the game. He does seem like a fun character to write, so I thought I’ll give him a chance.

Gameplay

Places, Schedules, and Hanging Out with the Boys

I think you would have noticed from the last two devlogs, but there are several activities you can do in-game. One of them is to visit a place of your choice at a certain time in a day.

Some places can be unlocked when you reach a certain threshold in a specific stat, and there are others which will be unlocked when you reach a specific threshold in a character’s affection meter. Nai will message you whenever you manage to unlock a new place to visit, so keep a lookout for that!

But what happens when you visit a place?

Well, each character has their own schedules -- which you should be able to figure out either by coincidence or by talking to them at school when prompted to do so. Your Quirk will allow you to see the unlocked schedule of each of the characters, so my advice would be to check it out before deciding where to go! If you manage to come to a specific place at the correct time, you will bump into them. Normally, this will trigger a set of actions you can perform: Talk, Action, and Skinship.

Talking is a safe way to increase your love interest’s affection meter, especially in the first half of the game. More topics can be unlocked under some requirements. Generally, it doesn’t matter where you are, the topics you can talk about will be the same. There are topics which might trigger different reactions depending on how high your love interest’s affection is, so have fun finding them! However, be warned that most topics can be selected only once!

Action is another safe way to further increase your love interest’s affection meter. Unlike talking, different places have a different set of actions you could select from. More actions can also be unlocked under some requirements. Responses to this doesn’t exactly change based on the character’s current affection level, and it’s not limited to one time only.

Skinship is a riskier way to boost the affection meter: simply put, it’s a high gain with a high risk. Consider the character’s current affection level when you’re selecting from this list! He might not like it if you go touchy-feely when you’re not that close yet.

On the other hand, when his affection is high enough, you’ll find that you can have a lot of fun choosing the various options here. So be smart, bide your time, and have fun ;)

And that’s not all! Interaction is a two-way street, so depending on how your love interest views the main character, he will initiate Talk, Action, or even Skinship. There’s a lot of variations in here, and I hope you’ll have fun with this mechanic! I certainly am having fun while also pulling out my hair out of frustration designing this and trying to put the mechanism to control this into code…

Progress-wise, I think at the very least the functions for controlling this specific mechanic have been 80% completed. The actual writing however, is another story. There are still hundreds that I still haven’t had the time to write yet, and most of them are not yet coded in. Those who have been coded in still don't have sprites and music, so really, I’ll just say that the writing progress for this part is less than 1% completed….

On the left is the currently WIP full game project, with what I would say around 2-4% dialogue scripted in. And on the right side is the completed demo project.

…. Can you see how much effort the whole game is going to take me now? I did say to strap in and relax, cause this is going to be a long ride. And I wasn’t kidding lol

"Nai"

Although throughout the first week, the story will flow as your environment / characters around you teaches you on how the game works, I’m aware that the game mechanics might be hard to understand for casual players who aren’t too used to playing otome games (or games in general). Which is pretty much why I’m giving you a ‘helpline’ of some sort, in the form of another character.

Why a character? Because I can and I want to. Shush 😆

If you’ve played the demo, chances are, you’ve encountered a name which you had no recollection of existing in the canon My Hero Academia universe. Well, you’re right. Like the player’s character, Nai (full name: Namae Nai / 名前 ない) doesn’t exactly exist in the canon universe, but she’s here to help you throughout the game. (She’s also there because if she wasn’t, 1-A class members becomes odd number in total and that just feels weird to me -- plus, the team exercise system in Heroics wouldn’t exactly make sense if the class has odd number of students)

For those of you who hate Original Characters with a passion (why tho), you don’t need to worry too much. She won’t be an intrusive character in the plot and will mainly not contact you unless she really has to (seriously, her full name literally means ‘no name’, so give her a break, ok?). And if, even then, you still hate her, well.... Too bad you won’t be able to enjoy the game, I guess.

For those of you who don't mind her existence: I hope you’ll take a liking to her dark sense of humor and appreciate her helping you get through the game!

Others

Fixed some bugs regarding unlocking Special Moves from certain activities and games.

Played around and customized the ‘input name’ for a little bit, so it wouldn’t awkwardly sit on the bottom of the screen. I have 0 talent in designing UI though, so the background still stays as a black screen -- but at least it looks more prominent now.

Added a little sign to indicate which route the player has entered. I think it’s pretty cute! Hopefully you’ll like it.

Assets

Those who follow me on Twitter would have seen this coming, but anyway, I’ll be using TMGS OSTs as the main character theme for the four love interests. Hush hush, okay?

Other than that, unfortunately I didn’t have time to do any assets gathering this month.

Writing

Nothing much to say here. I think I managed to script around 50% of the events in the first day, but honestly I’m not completely satisfied with it so I might go back and tweak them a bit. Still a lot of scenes to be written!

Plans for December

I'm not too sure whether there would be much progress for the next two months, since there are so many things happening and deadlines to be met at work, which is making me really unmotivated to do other side projects in my free time lately. I also feel like I haven't been taking care of my health enough ever since quarantine started, so I'm trying to get back into doing more exercises and looking for healthier food options, which also cuts into my free time and motivation I guess.

With that said, I'll still at least aim for getting some scripts coded in -- particularly for the events in day 1. Other than that, maybe hopefully some assets gathering for supporting Kirishima's newly added route, and finishing up the coding parts that I was unable to finish this month.

I'll see y'all again at the end of next month!

[slumberinglabyrinth]

a while back i did a review of the prison chapter in por and it was totally overblown and whatever but i kinda wanna do that again for (what remains of) radiant dawn so i guess i will

I'll be doing them in batches since this got long. In this post: 3-5 through 3-9

3-5: it's been two years and i forget why we have to defend this castle

this was a pretty alright map. the reinforcements were annoying but that's because I generally don't actually turtle all that much on defend chapters and as a result I was Right There whenever and wherever they showed up. I tried to grab the energy drop off the boss but the dude ran away from Heather the moment I created an opening and I didn’t want to reset so :^/

I moved provoke off of shinon and onto Brom for this and its... probably way too strong? like it wasn't a 100% draw rate but there were several turns in a row where he was the only person being attacked which is. insane. and also super fun lmao. I think it's a shame that the hostility mechanics in fe aren't as well documented; on some level it ruins the magic, but in cases like this where you're actively influencing it i think it'd be useful to know to what degree you're actually influencing it

disarm + steal is also a really neat/fun idea that would be a great way to counteract how i apparently will never have any money for weapons while playing as the greilgallia party crew 😔 (not to be confused with the greilgallia polycule, which disbanded around twenty years earlier) but I can also never get disarm to proc and half the things that i was able to get unequipped were too heavy for Heather to actually steal 😔

all around a decent map to ease myself back into playing rd with. I certainly could have played better, but defend maps tend to be easier and I appreciated that here

3-6: dawn brigade returns and promptly sinks into a swamp

god this map sucked. it's really hard to pick where to start with it but while i get that lore dictates that they need to only be fighting laguz right here it was probably the wrong gameplay decision with everything else that was going on. I think maybe making tigers have ~4 less str across the board would have been a nice start since I kinda needed to either never get hit by them at all or to kill them first.

several chapters later I’m also realizing maybe i should have like. started to use bexp lol

fighting laguz is also really weird in terms of like... because they have boosted stats while transformed so you can either kill them while they're untransformed (which is fairly easy but since they don't attack, you have to kill them during player phase which means one per turn per unit), deal chip damage (or none at all) to burn down their gauge so you can actually kill them, or try to power through their boosted stats and hope you don’t die in the process.

Because I hadn't used bexp and almost all my units were super weak, I mostly had to rely on the eff against beasts knife that you can buy in the bargain shop this chapter and also volug, who had enough def (even with halfshift) to not die in one round. Honorable mentions go to noland (a fitting name for this map), jill (with canto!), and zihark, who were able to help pick off untransformed laguz, and to micaiah, who could deal magic damage and actually damage transformed laguz.

this was also the first dawn brigade map! i know lots of people people dont like their maps after act 1 and while i was trying to go into this one with an open mind... yeah, they totally got shafted by this map design. it's not really their fault but this map sucked hard. I know that they generally did one of each class variant (fire mage, wind mage, etc.) and not have duplicates but I think that the dawn brigade would have benefited from another mage of some kind if only so you could have someone who could deal with all these goddamned cats

also bk shows up but since he's not a bonus unit i didn't want to feed him kills so i didnt really use him. maybe that was a mistake. also why couldn't he like. warp someone that wasn't the furthest away from the action.

3-7: hey so we heard you liked the previous map

Zihark is there? fuck this i'm reverting to a previous save and unrecruiting him

3-6: i forgot to mention that this map was a swamp map and also had darkness

I know I've mentioned that the similar map in fe6 (desert+fog) was actually kinda alright but this one isnt that at all. Playing through it a second time helped because i knew where enemies were spawning, but it was still more annoying than fun.

Swamps commit the cardinal sin of forcing everyone that can't fly (in this case: everyone but jill) to suffer massive terrain penalties. Deserts at least let mages move a little bit further (which admittedly wouldn't help much here since it's only micaiah and laura), but here everyone friend and foe alike (except Jill) moves slowly and it makes gameplay just grind to a halt which is never, ever fun level design.

Also Fiona just. could not move beyond the starting island. she couldn't even wade a little bit into the swamp like i did with ed and leo to attack at range and get laguz to untransform. they let you deploy everyone but it genuinely felt like i wasn't handed the tools to succeed at this map. always a great goal to have when designing a game

I don't know how to improve this map. unrecruiting zihark (by flying him up to the northeast with jill and having him talk to mordy/lethe) wasn't particularly difficult (battle saves make it easy enough to scout out where they were, and it's not like i'd ever feel bad about 'cheating' on this map) but... would a greater field of view actually help? would making it not a swamp actually help? would giving you more allied units that'll throw themselves in the face of danger with no regard for their own lives actually help?

I don't know.

3-7: but for real this time

Back to ikequest!

this map is... literally the same map as the previous one, but with a different map objective. and larger. and backwards. and not at night.

it's still a swamp.

Luckily, it's a survive map, and the vast majority of the enemy force does not have the time to actually reach you if you hide up in the corner.

Which is exactly what i did.

Here's the list of the optional units (ike and ranulf are mandatory, which sucks because i don't like using twinks cat laguz and ike's plot promotion feels miles away) I deployed and why I deployed them

Haar: to fly out and recruit Jill

Gatrie: to be carried by Haar and specifically to bait the single thunder mage in Haar's way (and help Haar clean out that area so Jill can be safely recruited). I gave him corrosion two maps ago and it actually fully disarmed a guy on this map! 🎊

Brom: stand near where the swamp ends and draw the handful of enemies that actually make it all the way there away from ike and ranulf and ulki and jaffar (who are auto-recruits in this chapter).

This map is. so incredibly easy to both beat and complete the (meaningful) optional objectives on. I missed a conversation between Ike and Micaiah (which requires you to travel all the way across the map that i just finished saying takes forever to traverse and do it in 12 turns), but as long as you unrecruit Zihark on the previous map (he's.... right in the middle of the main force so good luck if you don't) you can probably do this map first try with no deaths even if you haven't trained haargatriebrom At All

I think that kinda underscores a problem that intsys had with rd which was... it feels like they didn't really have a lot of time to fine-tune stuff? like you're going from the hardest (or at least most unpleasant) map to the easiest one this side of the tutorial and it just. doesn't feel good? like there's going to be some inherent difficulty in balancing a difficulty curve when you're shifting from party to party but. this was bad. really bad.

Also a side observation but it does actually say who units can talk to in battle prep which is pretty useful thing to have! you need to shift the stat spreadsheet allllll the way over, but it's there!

i promptly forgot about it by the time 3-10 came around and was like "hey i should just. have ike run up to elincia, see if they'll talk, and then reset" though lol

3-8: Less-than-Lethal Lava Land

A fairly standard lava cave map. My only real comment here is that it was kinda nice how they made the spots where you'd take damage fairly obvious while still making them appear as natural parts of the terrain. I think it was the durandal map in 7 but its "if you're on these at the end of the turn you'll take damage" tiles looked super out of place while the armads map on the other hand wasn't super self-evident and i'm glad they improved

3-9: still cant use lucia >:(

Another party shift (this time to Elincia), and there was some good use of ledges in this chapter!

Most of your units couldn't use them but it created alternate paths for the ones that could (Calill and Devdan). Previous maps tended to use them more as holes in your defenses than needed to be plugged, but it created ways to progress (and ways for reinforcements to catch up) that are usually reserved for flying units, except now you're interacting with the map instead of ignoring it completely.

I think I've yet to meet someone who genuinely likes ledges as a map element, though I think this map really drives home that the sole (inherent) problem with them is the accuracy modifications (which, as this map also demonstrates when the stairs near the end become a chokepoint, are actually present with all elevation changes). While the +2 damage dealt while on the high ground is reasonable, +50 and especially -50 to hitrate are insane and completely unnecessary modifiers. They should be half that if you even choose to retain both.

Anyway.

the absolute lack of a (player-controlled) healer in Elincia's party was also........ interesting. Annoying, but interesting. Why must allied clerics choose death?1

[jungle321jungle]

Level Two: Wait, You’re Not An NPC?

The world of Swords of Power and Conquest was one Virgil dove head first into, giving his soul and life to the game. He would play whenever he could, and had even decided he wanted to go into game design. At times he had even dreamt of how wonderful it would be to be inside that world for even a moment- until that world became his reality.

The familiar world he had come to love was now a foreign prison, one with no way out.

A Log Horizon AU. If you don’t know what that is, this is a Show Better Than SAO AU. If you still don’t know, the sides get trapped in a video game.

Ao3 - Masterlist

Taglist: @hells-missing-a-goat @angels-and-dreams @ollyollyoxinfree @gattonero17 @chumo-cookie @dreaming-always @anxiety-ismy-name @mrbubbajones @janustheliar

~~~~

Level Two: Wait, You’re Not An NPC?

Virgil wasn’t sure how long he had stood there. Stood there staring at his surroundings in shock and disbelief. But it was the familiar sound of a message which shocked him out of his stupor. Virgil’s eyes darted around him wondering how to open and answer- or if he was truly insane- when a voice sounded in his mind. 

“Tony?”

The voice was one which filled Virgil with relief to the point of tears welling in his eyes, but none of this could be real, right? Right? 

“Tony?” It asked again.

Virgil chose to indulge his own delusions as he wiped at his eyes. “Jack?”

“Oh thank God that worked!” The voice came from the other side of- of Virgil’s mind? “What the fuck is going on?”

“You’re asking me? This-” He stopped looking around at the forest and taking in the feeling of the sun streaming through the trees to let its warmth land on his skin, and the sound of animals running round. The sounds which were both so familiar and yet so foriegn. “This is all...” 

“I know. One moment I was sitting in my room, the next I’m standing in the Tavern. And I mean, not my character but- but me.”

The unsteadiness in that voice was something Virgil wasn’t sure he had ever heard before. But then again, neither was this situation. “I’m at the fork,” was all he said. 

“Then get your ass over here.”

With that the “call” ended and Virgil found himself moving. Leave it to Piggy to calm him down to a state of action with so few words. He wasn’t sure anyone else he had ever known was capable of such a thing. 

Virgil moved quickly. He ran down the path following the way he knew but keeping his eyes peeled. Monsters had always been in this area, but when the Tavern had been opened the monsters had become some sort of a rite of passage. If someone couldn’t get past them, then they didn’t deserve to be in the Tavern in the first place. That’s why he and Piggy together had placed the sign post and the teleport spot at the fork. It was a test. One Virgil hoped he could pass. 

He gave a hard swallow as he continued on listening carefully to the sounds in the trees, bushes and forest floor. But not daring to stop long enough to wait for something to find him. He was close. The Tavern would be in the coming clearing. 

Ralph was waiting for him in the coming clearing. 

It was when the breeze ceased that rustling became clear. Virgil’s breath shuddered but he didn’t stop and draw the sword he could feel strapped to his back. Not yet. As it grew closer and it’s footsteps sounded heavy Virgil reached back his fingers closing on his sword hilt- ready. He would wait as long as he could- because he couldn’t afford a fight. He couldn't afford the risks he had thought he had enjoyed. 

Virgil could feel the roar of the monster in his bones- in his core. Tyren. A level 28 monster resembling a mix of wolf and cat with claws which hold poison. They were generally weak on their own. But they had a habit of traveling in packs. This wasn’t a fight he could win- not anymore. All he could do was run. 

His heart drummed faster in his chest with every step he took. His eyes were burning with unshed tears but he couldn’t let them fall and obscure his view. Not when he could see the Tavern. Not when in a few moments he knew he’d be able to see the sign for the Serpent’s Den. Another roar sounded to his right. Followed by one to his left. And the growling from nearly all sides. 

They were going to trap him. To get in front of him and surround him and then take their time ripping him apart. He wanted to puke. He wanted to feel like the walls weren’t closing in. He wanted to be back in his room- hell he’d go back to taking that fucking exam. He’d go back to anything. Anything but this. 

He launched himself into the clearing not daring to look back as the roars continued. He sprinted for the back door praying to anyone who would listen that the door would be open. Thankfully his prayers were swiftly answered as the door burst open and Ralph was standing there crossbow in hand. Despite himself Virgil felt his lips curl into a smile as he watched his friend take aim. He ran toward him not bothered with where Ralph was aiming. It could be to his heart for all Virgil cared, it would be better than being torn apart. But he heard the whistle of an arrow flying past his head and the screech of a pierced tyren. He didn’t dare look back. 

It was close. Ten steps. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. 

Virgil threw himself onto Ralph sending them both flying to the ground and he could only laugh in relief as they both hit the ground, and the door slammed shut behind him. 

Virgil closed his eyes letting his tears fall as he listened to the sound of Ralph’s heartbeat. Ralph himself did nothing simply laying there, not saying a word nor pushing Virgil away. But after a moment Virgil pulled himself off and Ralph moved himself into a sitting position. Today’s face scanning Virgil with eyes that screamed worry. 

“I’m okay,” Virgil said finally. 

“No you’re not,” he disagreed. “No one’s okay right now.”

Virgil only gave a nod as he wiped at his face. When he had he looked back to Simon’s face unsure of what to say or do- but he found his gaze drifting above his head to the screen name which still managed to float about his head, lordofthelies.

“This is too real,” he said finally. 

Simon gave a chuckle, “Not the word I’d pick, but yeah. You sure you’re okay?”

“None of them got me,” Virgil assured him, but seeing the disbelief in Simon’s face he continued. “But I never thought I’d be scared of tyrens ever again. Haven’t worried about them since I got past level 45.”

“I’m not sure if alcohol works here,” Simon said standing. His eyes darted around his office before he extended a hand. “Join me in finding out?”

“Hell yes.”

They drank and sat in a comfortable silence and it wasn’t until Virgil could really feel its mind numbing effects that he spoke again. “Customers?”

“None,” Jack replied. “Today was the peace talk remember? I had closed in order to prep for the guilds which had rented out the space for a private space to talk. They had just walked into the forest and me back into my office when...”

Virgil nodded and knocked back the rest of his glass and reached to get himself a refill. “I had been out scrap picking. I had just teleported.”

“Have you been able to reach anyone else?” 

Virgil shook his head, “I don’t even know how.”

“To be honest I’m not entirely sure either. I was just thinking that I needed to message you no matter what; and then I heard the sent sound. And then I could hear you.”

“Have you gotten anyone else?”

“A few. Tact, Rolls, Bilder67. But for those who aren’t responding I don’t know if it’s because they’re not logged in or because of something else.”

“They probably don’t know how.”

Piggy’s eyes showed overwhelming disbelief but he changed the subject. “You should get some sleep. I’m going to stay up in case anyone comes.”

“But-” 

“You know where my room is.”

Virgil wanted to argue, but the thought of sleep was enticing, so he made his way upstairs to the small little loft and flopped on the bed, drifting off near instantly. 

~~~~

“Morning.”

“Morning,” Virgil mumbled back, moving to sit at the bar counter. “No one came then?”

Simon shook his head then he sipped at what must’ve been coffee. “None. And I’ve only heard back from Tact... but I figured out a few things.”

“Like how to cook us breakfast?”

A smirk graced that face as he turned slightly to face Virgil. “I was going to explain that I figured how to use game controls but I mean if you want burned eggs I can do that instead.”

“You can’t cook?” Virgil asked in surprise. 

“Not well.”

“And you own a Tavern?”

“A virtual tavern. Why don’t you cook and I’ll explain?”

“Alright,” Virgil shrugged, hopping off his stool and making his way to the kitchen. He paused upon entering it, “How do I even access food? Is it in the cabinets? Or my inventory?”

“Ah, so you do need to know how to play.” Simon smiled. 

“Just hand me food.”

Simon shook his head, “You need to learn. Basically focus on what you usually see on the computer screen.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow but when Simon made no move to do anything he closed his eyes picturing his screen in his mind. In the top corner left would be his health. In the bottom right would be the mini map of the area, and his five saved skills. In the bottom left corner would be the inventory he’s wearing, the stats of his clothes and his sword. And in the top right would be the bar for him to access skills or inventory. Picturing it all he took a deep breath and opened his eyes and nearly stepped back in shock to see his screen as pictured. 

And he wasn’t exactly sure if he was shocked or relieved to see his HP at 73%. 

“Push inventory,” Simon advised. 

Virgil nodded and reached up to hit the word inventory and was surprised to see as the boxes appeared. For a few moments he scrolled through what he had, before he found some eggs and he apprehensively moved to tap the icon. Except his arm went into it and his fingers closed around a large egg. He pulled his arm back and the large egg came with it- he needed to take it in two hands to ensure he didn’t drop it. 

“Nice,” Simon nodded, moving past him to turn on the stove and setting a pan on the burner. “I want it over easy.”

“You’re getting scrambled.” Virgil replied, setting the egg on the counter and already searching his inventory for some milk. “This thing is too big for me to flip it. It’s scrambled or nothing.”

“Fine.”

They lapsed into silence as Virgil worked, but a question was still burning in his mind. “The Starter Village... it’s probably safest there, isn’t it?”

Jack gave a sigh, “Probably. But it’s also probably swarmed with people thinking the same.”

“Safety in numbers?”

“Chaos in crowds.”

“Avoid people then.”

“That’s not what I mean. I said I talked to Tact right? People are rioting in the Starter Village. And most cities. They’re gonna deplete all their resources. Meanwhile it’s just the two of us here, we’d last longer here. And if someone makes it here? Well, if we’re gonna survive we need strength. People who can make it here are strong. We know that much.”

“We don’t even know if we can make it here anymore,” Virgil pointed out as he put the eggs on a plate. “But I get what you mean. Is Tact coming here?”

Jack gave a shrug as he handed Virgil a fork and poked at the food. “I don’t know. He said he wanted to gather information first, but I doubt he’ll come this way until we figure out what happens when HP reaches zero. And if health potions work.”

“I hope they do.”

“Same. And when people do get here. I think we should lay low for a while. People will probably swarm you for new armor and swords. Maybe we can get more information from listening to the chaos. But it might be a few days before anyone comes.”

Virgil only nodded, not wanting to acknowledge that they could really be here that long. 

~~~~

Nine days. 

It had been nine days since Virgil found himself trapped in the game he had fallen in love with. And he still found there wasn’t much he could do. One day four he and Jack had been bored and daring enough to step outside the Tavern, to see how their swordsmanship fared against one another before even daring to take steps in the woods. 

From it Virgil had learned he could still use basic moves and swing his sword well enough. And he had also realized he could use his saved skills or very basic skills the same way he had accessed his inventory. But now one day nine neither he nor Jack had figured out how to do both simultaneously. And it seemed the few customers and coworkers which had trickled in didn't have a clue either. They had all run for their lives and stuck to the basic skills and had barely managed to make it to the Tavern. But all of them agreed that despite the danger outdoors the Tavern was safer than the cities which were rapidly running out of space, and due to fear of going hunting players were running out of money and had resorted to robbing one another. Virgil could only hope those people wouldn’t come his way. 

“Hey! Anthony! Get me another beer!”

Virgil only blinked at the drunk customer (blueskiesareyellow according to his screen name), “Hello sir, would you like to browse my shop?”

“Beer! I want to buy beer!”

“I’m sorry I don’t sell that item. But I do my best to sell all sorts of armor, weapons, and rare items. Would you like to look around?”

The man gave a look of disgust and began shouting at one of the Tavern girls, MannaM, to get him a beer. “Damn NPC. Good for nothing.”

A woman further down the bar gave a laugh, and Virgil recognized her as one of his repeat customers, FuckThisImTheB3st. “Be nice to my man Anthony. He’s got some good stuff to sell!”

Virgil gave him a slight smile, “Hello ma’am, would you like to browse my shop?”

“Not right now,” she dismissed. 

“Alright. Please let me know when I can be of service.”

On any other day this would be considered horribly slow. Only six customers, and two workers. Usually they were packed all days of the week with players gossiping information to be sold to the highest bidder. But now all they had was a depleting amount of food and alcohol to be sold. And Virgil wasn’t entirely sure what they would do when they’d run out of food, Simon claimed he was working on it but Virgil doubted he knew either. 

The slamming open of the Tavern door was something of a surprise. Then it walked three faces which Virgil recognized. Virgil tried to keep himself calm as one of which locked eyes with him and stormed up the counter and slammed his hands down on it. “I need the owner. Now.”

Virgil gave him a smile, “I am the owner of my shop. Would you like to browse?”

“What? No- I want the guy who owns this place.”

“I do my best to sell all sorts of armor, weapons, and rare items. Would you like to look around?”

“No! I want to speak to the owner.”

“I am the owner, sir. Would you like to browse-“

“Are you even listening to me?”

“He’s an NPC dumbass!” FuckThisImTheB3st shouted. 

Tact stepped up next to his companion. “Hello Anthony, May we gain entry to your shop?”

Virgil gave him a smile and moved out from the behind the bar and led the way to the hidden door. He unlocked it and stepped into his shop. Inside Simon stood holding out an armored vest to a player, kittycat=patt, but both looked up as Virgil entered. 

“Tact!” Simon smiled. “Good to see you.”

Tact gave a nod as he moved forward leaning on his cane as he did. “I’ve told you many times to call me by name and not that uncreative nickname.”

“And since when do I listen to you?”

“Roman! Remus!” kittycat=patt smiled. “It’s good to see you both! I haven’t seen you both since the Dragon Raid!”

“Patts!” <3getting2Dsat1 cheered running forward to embrace the other girl. The two started talking quickly and suddenly but Virgil was still trying to process that TheSwordTwins- aka the duo with their own YouTube Channel that Virgil had watched every video from were casually standing right in front of him. 

“Tony, lock the door?” Simon asked, stopping Virgil from staring. When the door was locked all of them sat down at the table leaving Virgil standing. 

“Hey Lies,” royaltyforroyalme or Roman started. “Can you tell your NPC to stop staring and leave?”

Simon paused before he shook his head, “He stays. Anyway Tact, why are we all here?”

“My name is Logan,” He corrected instantly. “I am a tactician for the pay, it’s not who I am. But as for why we all are here I have two pieces of information to share. And lucky you for you I won’t charge a fee.”

“How generous.”

“The first is I have seen first hand that just as when this game was purely game, revival is possible.”

“You’ve seen it?” kittycat=patt blurted.

Logan gave a nod, “I have. I had posted myself outside of the East Hospital and was awaiting to see if anyone revived. And someone had. Two evenings ago I was about to head back to the inn where I was staying when the tell tale glow of the building started and a player appeared in front of it proclaiming and crying in relief at still being alive. I kept my post until this morning and confirmed this was not a fluke by watching it happen multiple times and I also interviewed each of the revived players. Thus I can conclude that when a player's HP reaches zero they come back to life as a character should. But at the same time it doesn’t seem to be a pleasant experience.”

“I think that’s the best thing I've heard since this started,” Piggy commented, relaxing in his chair. “But what’s the second piece of information?”

“I have a theory- or perhaps hopeful thoughts on how to get out of here.”

“What is it?” Virgil blurted moving closer. 

“Ah, is that what it takes to get you to break character Anthony?” Logan asked, amused. 

“Answer the question.”

Logan nodded. “The main quest. This game was designed so that it would update itself when the main quest was completed. Perhaps a fix to the servers can free us. That’s why I asked you all here. Lies is not only a legendary holder, but one of the biggest names in the information trade. Roman and Remus each hold one as well, and when I called both they told me Patton was as well. And you Anthony are certainly high enough level to aid us.”

“That’s a gamble.”

“It is,” Logan acknowledged. “But it is better than simply sitting and waiting for rescue?”

“Wait,” Roman cut in. “You’re not an NPC?”

Virgil blinked, “No. I’m not.”

“Then why?”

“People are more likely to talk about things when they don't know they’re being listened to,” Piggy commented. “And now since the joke wasn’t as funny as I intended, Tony come sit.”

“I can’t go get a chair, everyone out there doesn't know I’m not an NPC.”

He patted his lap, “Sit.”

“Fuck off Piggy.”

“Am I not good enough to sit on?”

Virgil resisted the urge to punch him in the face as he looked back to Logan. “If the game reboots if the quest is cleared, wouldn’t that just kill us?”

“As I confirmed there is no death as we know it in this world, that is unlikely,” Logan replied. 

“But how are you going to do it? We’re still missing five swords. Not to mention the main quest is literally impossible. That’s why no one has done it!”

“There was no motivation to. Before the goal of most players was to simply enjoy the game for all about its main quest. We simply need to shift focus.”

Virgil shook his head, “Ralph tell him it’s impossible.”

Ralph paused in thought before he sighed. “We don’t have any better ideas at the moment. And at least it’s something.”

“What if we only have a limited number of lives?” Virgil tried. 

“There’s only one way to find out!” Remus cheered. “Roman! Stab me through the boob!”

Roman paid his brother no mind, “He does have a point. We don’t know if our luck will run out.”

“I think we should go for the swords,” kittycat=patt tossed in. “If it’s possible we can get out quicker shouldn’t we?”

“Do we know where the missing swords are?”

At that Logan turned to Jack, “What do you know?”

Jack gave a frown and his eyes flickered to Virgil before he crossed his arms over his chest. “Before we talk about that we should talk about logistics.”

“What's there to talk about?” Roman frowned. “Either you have the information or you don’t.”

“The game ends when one person collects all ten legendary swords. Shouldn’t we discuss who will be doing the holding of these swords? Because quite frankly I don’t know anyone sitting here well enough to believe you won’t steal everything and sell it.”

“I want to go home, not make money!” kittycats=patt said quickly. 

Logan gave a nod, “We both know I have gold to spare.”

“I want to get back to my life,” Roman agreed. 

“How much money do you think you’re all worth?” Remus asked. 

“Remus.”

“I’m kidding Ro! Kidding! I wanna get back too... mostly. I mean can you blame me? This is cool as hell.”

“I suggest we each hold onto our own swords until the end,” Logan stated, putting things back on track. “And as for acquiring more, I suggest the person who claims it carries it. And once we have them all between us we figure out how to clear the game itself. Until then we have no choice but to trust one another.”

For some reason Virgil wasn’t sure he liked that idea. 

“We’re going to need to practice fighting,” Virgil pointed out. “Jack we could leave the Tavern to MannaM and head to a low level area to grind and figure it out.”

Jack gave a nod of thought, “We certainly could.”

“Have any of you figured out how to use the skills?” kittycats=patt asked. “I can use the easy ones but I can’t do any combinations.”

“I can,” Remus tossed in. “You just gotta move and it kind of happens.”

“I’ll need you to be a bit more descriptive,” Logan frowned. 

Remus gave a shrug and pulled at the mustache on her face. “They just happened. Like muscle memory or something.”

“Hm, then training will need to proceed. Perhaps you can tell us what it is we will need to know about the other locations when we have?”

“No, I’ll tell you here,” Jack sighed. “I know this is the most secure spot. I can only hope your lips are sealed just as tightly.”

Virgil wanted to disapprove, but he knew Simon was right. “Well maybe first we should start with what swords you all have and then Simon and I can tell you everything we know?”

There was a pause as eyes looked round the table before Logan spoke, “I hold the Sword of Time.”

“I have the Sword of Ice and Water,” Patts announced. 

“Sword of Sound,” Remus put in. 

“Wind,” Roman said quickly. 

“Faces,” Simon finished. “As for the others, I know that two elemental swords are still fully unknown, some rumors say they are in circulation others say they are yet to be claimed. I personally believe there’s truth to both sides. One of them, likely the Sword of Stone, is in circulation, given the Sword of Flame is pretty distinct. Someone would know if it was used. The Swords of Darkness and Light are also both unclaimed. Tony has a theory on those. And then the Sword of Stars is in circulation. Last I knew it was in the hands of a guild, so Mr. Guild Hopper might know something.”

Roman crossed his arms, “I don’t.”

Simon didn’t seem convinced but he let it slide. “Tony, your theory?”

Virgil gave a sigh, “The location of the Sword of Darkness isn’t exactly a secret. But despite that no one has been able to get it given the pitch blackness, and the boss monster. According to the lore to the game, the sword belonged to a fallen angel who tried to attack the heavens. When he lost and died the sword created the barrier to protect him. Meanwhile the Sword of Light was considered tainted and needed to be purified. But my theory is this, that given the true quest of the game is to unite all the swords, that the Sword of Light and the Sword of Flame must both be used to retrieve The Sword of Darkness.”

“I don’t understand,” Logan frowned. “I understand wanting to use the Sword of Light but why Flame? It’s said that any lights are automatically extinguished within the dark.”

“Yes, but there’s multiple reports about the boss monster inside. Some seem to think it’s the fallen angel himself revived, some say it’s a dragon, some think both. But all seem to agree that they were certainly burned inside the dark. Now perhaps the Sword of Ice and Water could put it out. But if the Sword of Flame is used it could theoretically form a protective shield of flames to absorb those thrown at us. Or something to that effect.”

Logan paused and Virgil could see the wheels turning behind those glasses, the Tactician's mind working. “Then after training we’d need to go after the remaining sphinxes and gain clues about the Swords of Stars, Light, along the way.”

“I can continue to check in with my network,” Simon promised. “But we need to be careful about people knowing we’re going after the swords.”

Virgil gave a nod before a thought occurred to him, “Eric please do not tell R3M333. He’s not subtle.”

“He’s not that bad. He’s good at collecting information, just not keeping it...”

“Please Eric.”

“Fine.”

“Real quickly,” Roman put in. “What should I call you? Because you’re not-NPC has called you like ten different names.”

Eric blinked as if the thought hadn’t occurred to him, “Tony is a bit of a nerd. See my screen name is lordofthelies. But he read it first as lord of the flies, and ever since he calls me by the name of different characters from the book. But you guys can call me whatever, Lies, Lord, or-”

“Sexy?” Remus asked. 

Eric gave an awkward smile, “I was going to say my middle name is Dante. You can me that or Dee. Trapped in a game or not, I rather not give you my first name.”

“Pleasure to meet you Dee!” kittycats=patt smiled. “I’m Patton! Call me that or Patt! But before we leave, can I buy some armor off of you too? As much as I love this outfit it’s not good for defense.”

Virgil paused looking over Patt’s oversized skirt and heels silently wondering how she had managed to make it to the Tavern in the first place. “Yeah feel free to look around my shop.”

~~~~

“You think this is all a terrible idea don’t you?”

Virgil looked up from where he was sitting on Dee’s bed and gave a slight nod, “I don’t trust them. And yet we just told them everything, Dee.”

“Not everything.”

“Oh?”

Dee raised an eyebrow as he sat beside Virgil on the bed, “I know you lied about your theory. That’s not it at all.”

Virgil gave a shrug, “You don’t know that.”

“Yes I do. I may not have heard your theory before but I know that’s not it. I just know you’re a good liar. But I also won’t ask you to tell me what it is.”

Virgil looked into his eyes- those actual eyes. The way Dee has designed the character before he had earned his legendary sword. “Then what are you asking of me?”

“I ask that you don’t trust anyone.”

“I take it that includes you?”

“I’m number one on that list.”

Virgil gave a yawn as he laid back on the bed, “Then make sure I’m number one in yours.”

~~~~

Level One - Level Two - Level Three

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 502

Watched this episode after winning Wynonna Earp trivia (fuck yeah, The Shit Tickets!) at a bar, put on by a queer af podcast, followed by going to see a queer af movie, and was all ready to get my Beauchamp fix... And it was like oh here’s a taste and a hint that we’re gonna end up in a story line similar to what we’ve already done multiple times, but now on to the menfolk.

For real though, this episode was like an OL greatest hits clip show. It had all the stuff we’ve seen before. A time traveler who wants to go home? Check. Rape PTSD? Check. A man being a dad to a kid who isn’t/might not be his? Check. That same man being the absolute worst? Check. Claire being reckless with future medicine? Check. Townsfolk questioning Claire’s medical knowledge in favor of the local Man of Importance? Check. Jamie trying to be on both sides at once? Check. A villain who seemed to have died the previous season and should have fucking stayed dead? Check.

We’ve literally seen all of this stuff before.

For a show that spent the first part of season two claiming to be a political drama and then last season claiming that they “weren’t political” I see we’re back to just leaning hard into politics that have direct parallels today.

No fucks left to give about the system Murtz is kind of my favorite Murtz. Like this dude spent his whole life living by a code and an oath and was fucked over by the system so many fucking times that he’s ready to just burn it all down. Curious to see how they walk the domestic terrorist vs. freedom fighter line with him for the rest of the season.

Got all excited about the bread title card because yay medicinal mold, but of course, the lead character was relegated to the B story.

Old timey medicine baffles me. Like the fact that bleeding someone was like a catchall remedy boggles the mind.

I feel rull bad for Mrs. Whoeverthefuck though. She tried.

Also, shit like this makes me be like, yo Claire, you sure you wanna stay here? Jamie’s really not all that and a bag of chips. But you do you, boo.

Speaking of Jamie, his hair looks really good. A thousand fruit baskets to the new wig person.

Lulz at Knox thinking the Gathering was about being loyal to king and country. Dummy.

Srsly though, Murtz Valmurtz is really getting under their skin. Is he like the *only* Regulator leader?

The convo between Knox and Jamie is literally as relevant today as it is in the 1770s. But yeah, the show IsN’t PoLiTiCaL.

The fact that fuckers think those at the bottom should be happy with their lot because “lol it could be worse” need to be punched in the face and taken out of power. Stat.

Also any time someone in power talks about civility as a reason not to rise up against injustice, I want to punch them. Because they deserve it.

I want to punch a lot of things.

This whole episode is very Les Mis, tbh.

Literalol at Claire covering dead guy’s face and not his body cavity before Bree comes in.

Aw Bree, why you gotta be a buzzkill? We were cheated of badass Doctor!Claire in S3. Let us have this.

Also, yeah, Claire, Bree’s fucking right. Which you’d think you’d know by now what with alL THE FUCKING TIMES YOU’VE BEEN CALLED A WITCH. AND NOW YOU’RE UPPING YOUR GAME TO LIKE NECROMANCY?!

Also the more she says no one will find out the more annoying it is because *clearly* someone *is* gonna find out and we’re gonna be back on the “she’s a witch!” “I’m not a witch!” “you literally have a dead guy in your closet!” merry-go-round again.

Today in most on-the-nose shots ever: How convenient that Marsali just happens to be doing some butchering right there, right then.

Petition for the show to go full Shondaland and just turn into a backwoods medical drama with Claire and Marsali, and all the others (cough the men cough) can fuck on off.

Tarring and feathering is like the old timey version of #AlwaysPunchAFascist but dialed to 11.

Oh the baggage behind Jamie saying redcoat man will someday wear his scars with honor that none of these fuckers know about...

Ok so clearly the English know that Claire’s a doctor so whenever shit hits the witchy dead dude fan, can we please have a quick resolution and not that dumb af “Claire goes to jail and of course her cellmate is a lesbian because Diana sucks at writing queer characters” nonsense?

Man Jamie is *not* subtle with this convo at the jail. Like Knox is right there and he’s just like hey buddies, I have people and we’re Scottish and y’know how we feel about protecting people vs. obeying the English.

I AM SPARTACUS FITZGIBBONS!

Aaand, naturally, the fuckwit preaching civility is the one to kill a man in cold blood. Rise up, motherfuckers. Rise up.

THANK FUCK ROGER IS A TERRIBLE SHOT BECAUSE IF THAT SQUIRREL DIED I WOULD LEGIT QUIT THE SHOW. RUN AWAY AND BE FREEEEEE YOU PRECIOUS LIL WILDERNESS FLOOFER!

Roger is, and I cannot stress this enough, the fucking worst.

He’s like look how shitty I am at being a soldier but then bitches about having to try to learn. And then he bitches about how dumb it is to shoot at squirrels as if being able to hit a squirrel wouldn’t make hitting a much larger thing, like a man who is shooting back at you, that much easier. And also, how the fuck does he think they get meat to eat? Shooting it, you twatwaffle.

And he’s like so fucking butthurt about being left behind. Like no shit, asshat. You’re bad at being in the past and have made no real effort and you whine a lot and are generally the worst. Of *course* you were left behind. Stop being emo about it and maybe actually try.

“He doesn’t respect me, Bree.” Yeah, no shit. Because you’ve done LITERALLY NOTHING to earn his respect. WHY ARE YOU SO TERRIBLE IT’S LIKE THEY’RE INTENTIONALLY TRYING TO MAKE HIM SUCK.

He also is like butthurt that his wife is a better shot than him when she gets the turkey he misses. How the fuck are we supposed to ship this. Ugh.

#BreeDeservesBetter

Oh Bree, sweetie, Jem won’t get hit by a car, but there are like eleventy million ways to die in the past. Just stick with the “you want to stay with your family” stuff.

Roger clearly doesn’t want to stay and is gonna pull a Fred and make Bree feel bad about wanting to all season, isn’t he. Fahkin’ doucherocket.

“I want to go but I’ll stay for you and look how magnanimous I am as I whine about it and make no effort to acclimate to the time.” Take your martyr card and shove it, Rog.

Shorter Jamie Fraser: “If you stand for nothing, Knox, what’ll you fall for?”

I’m already over Roger singing all the time tbh. Mostly because it reminds me that soon he won’t be able to do that anymore and we’re gonna be subjected to like half a season of him being more insufferable than he already is.

Wait, was Joan already born last episode? Or was there another time jump? Is Marsali preggers with baby #3? I lost track.

I love this scene between Claire and Marsali with my whole heart. Marsali especially.

CAN WE PLEASE JUST HAVE A WHOLE SHOW OF THESE TWO BEING ALL BADASS AND DOCTORY TOGETHER!?

Although, quick question, how fucking long is Claire planning to keep that un-embalmed body lying around in an un-refrigerated surgery/root cellar? Just curious...

Because you know someone’s gonna find it eventually and that’s gonna be a whole to do and I really need to stop being preemptively annoyed at plot lines that haven’t actually happened yet.

And with all this talk of plowshares and swords, I really am going to be singing Les Mis for days...

How long have these biddies been living on the Ridge? The fucking Leoch folks spent like a minute with Claire before they were like yep, she knows what’s up. These folks have apparently been here for months and are like loool, pass. They live in the fucking woods. You’d think they’d be more open to Claire’s brand of medicine.

Omg are they like the accidental antivaxxers of the Ridge?

#VaccinateYourFuckingKids

I mean, Bree, I think there’s some difference between Claire pretending to be a dude doc and telling folks to wash their hands and Otter Tooth.

Season 2 Claire and Otter Tooth on the other hand...

Ok so Jamie needs more men so that means next week is AHS: Beardsley Farm and then maybe (hopefully) instead of being like lol jk you can all go home, it actually goes right into the battle thing. Still not sure if they’re gonna do Roger getting hanged as the mid-season big thingy and then do the Bonnet nonsense in the back half or keep trying to do both of those at once.

Hey, Roger, pro-tip, next time you see Morag MacKenzie, maybe don’t fuCKING MAKE OUT WITH HER YOU FUCKING DUMBASS.

Claire’s totally right about how they should go back. Honestly, they should. But instead of talking with her like Claire is now with Roger, he’s just being all moody about how he’s bad at the past and wants to go back. You’re shooting yourself in the foot, broski.

Oh hey Husband the Quaker. And is that a fellow Quaker named Hunter with him? Are we gonna get Denny and Rachel this season?! Please and thank you that’d be great, I love them.

Murtz talking to his squad is full on Enjolras being like don’t worry fam, Marius will stand and fight with us. His place is there, he’ll fight with you.

The two very different but very similar ways Murtz and Jamie approach being Laird of their squads is fun to explore.

Bree lecturing Claire about changing the future by saving a few backwater hicks like Claire didn’t spend years trying to fucking change all of Scottish history is a bit rich. Like writers, we get it, you’re trying to be like oh snap, wait for the consequences of this bread!science! But like come the fuck on. We sat through all of season two.

“You’re a good dad, you know that?” Oh man, I’m getting that déjà vu about a shitty man getting kudos for being a good dad to a kid as if that negates all of his shittiness.

Oh hey, Bonnet’s back. Clearly we couldn’t have just let him die last season. Gotta drag shit on for longer than it has to. This is the [Outlander] Way.

If they were gonna keep him around as a villain, they shouldn’t have (in addition to all the other reasons) included him raping Bree. Jamie, Murtagh and Bonnet all making choices within and outside of the law to various degrees in order to make their living in the Colonies would be a really interesting contrast. But nope, gotta just go all in. BeCaUsE tHe BoOk.

Also I hate with the passion of a thousand fiery suns the Jemmy’s paternity stuff. Le sigh.

Remember in season one when the show was about Claire and she was in episodes for longer than 10 minutes?

I miss Claire.

[breakingmllc]

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Get born treasure and come follow me when he heard as he became very sorrowful because he Luke 1818 and there are Jesus was asking this man who is rich and successful would you give it all up to follow me would you forfeit for a Slant Sit Up Lean Forward Ask Questions Nod Your Head T Shirt few years in order to have much more for eternity instead of building a career would you spend your life building 19 Jesus wants to be first and foremost in your life you want to be front and center as he should be. He asked Sherry color here’s your twisted Sherry rotating special this one has parts on so this is one of the new LED lights guys this slight changes depending on the leaning also different lights on this headlamp will eliminate depending on which way strikes cheerleading the bike this was that the effects got seats in a day or bars on it Doesn’t have the stage for awnings at the scene he ported heads said this was God the screaming of mufflers they change the mufflers this year guys this radio mufflers is not a lot better this year so those of you who always is kind of a Smith screaming of mufflersand and aftermarket granite you find this year that the screaming of mufflers a little better yes answer question Mario Lego yes the 114 comes on this bike so based on the motor they did this this lady is a 117 I hear here’s another cool thing guys are like they had these bad genes for the campfire cover you can put in the displacements so you know 42 motor workand nobody knows what’s in there so now you got a tag you Miller for a 114 or 117 or whatever it is no sexy some nights I was kinda done that in a light to do that last year Apple car play that’s a good question Glenn Watts I got a look into thatand I honestly I’m not an expert on the infotainment system yet it’s aligned in one day I gotta get my hands on its on their on the current Latina system I consider myself a pretty dang good that had two bikes with it on their but the new system I don’t know yet know that the LED Denny colitis definite standard guys to answer that question here is this is a PNA nothing set partsand accessories paint set guys so this is called the grandstand I ordered this pink stat on a road glide this year so if you guys follow my channel you will see any building not meet our technicians building a road glide with this grandstand pain I there’s no news on an iron guys irons exact same bike they just change the pain on the spike of assassin accessories on it this is a road king special by the way that the new day maker headlamp my bike Henry Lenny about the Santos man data gaskets the the delights in the slam is a rotating standard in the Connecticut green this was all decked out in parts accessories so you barsand everything on it these bikes will roll out the new there is currently guys they should be your dears right now we we had bikes arrived yesterday the day of the announcement these bikes are shipped out to dealers kill the green that youand sorry greens for that so here’s the stuff on any trikes guys so you got a new braking system here so you got the links brake system with ABS traction control you have a traction control on these bikes now guys so I’m in a ride in a try committed to a big in depth review this year guys on the trikes to be looking for that family commenting all the new the brakes on the breaking ABS braking systemand the new traction control as well on his bikes here’s a free Wheeler this is the salts Bonneville salt pearl so I know old dirty biker today guys I apologize there’s another TRICARE try to buy for you system yes the door locks so I have a rawhide deluxe over here I’ll show you a quick though yes but I do lots answering digital locks this is the rawhide years like the rawhide to me now Ellis a root beer I agree with the comments there is one new actual model this year guys really got asked the question it’s right here to steal this the one new model is to recap on what’s new guys there’s someone you model that makes DL the specialsand the altar limited the road but also all went to 114 this year that’s new to infotainment systemsand all the bikes have infotainment system are new there’s a brand new infotainment system this year guys know it does not retrofit back to the old models here is a billiard blue slant OF this one yet Ryan just has the Akronand there’s no model name is called an ethics VR of those kind of weird to good question robot special colors you have memorized you guys I think it’s black billiard blue industrial gradesand himand I think those like that Connecticut green in a Blue Max setting are the colors I could be wrong that I like is a level of colors memorize yet yet a new headlight that rotates that’s a PNA bike arts using a PNA partand accessory parts you can only buy that the parts catalog it does not come stock on any bike but somebody none timeand let me know he is want to see the me know he is on a see here is a rocking serious Iand I answer the question via the new infotainment system cannot be retrofitted back to the old model bikes unfortunately so if you want yeah by 2019 yes I had amount videos all the videos that you see much as I do all that 100 is 1 million questions what bikes you want to see let me know thank you I appreciate it thank you guys closer guys thing on himand he went on the videos here pretty soon I think I got my stuff John Maxwell’s okay on my channel I have a video with him up maybe tomorrow afternoon or something three glide see Bob CVO altar versus road glide on the s’more robotand streetlight stuff gorse orange like a fat boy hoping to have all those guys here’s a robot special in the billiard blue is billiard blues nice guys gave you in the colors I order a lot of it’s really nice you is that still reflects guys think together the right is at a production viewer does not exist anymore guys I’ll be testifying guys new bikes soon the first by comeand try to do it then you ethics VR vacuum to read you a lot of my reviews this year guys because the specials all have a 114and are now I agree Nathan John that you should move to LA work at Laidlaw’s I agree so somebody asked for that still reflects color with find a I know I know I’m gone is the bunch of the colors on the streetlight over here okay so here’s that silver flux you about 1000 people watching right now so. I want to hear what all of you think to review the results of it on Thursday actually Thursdays going to be our twitch show where we do the entire show on twitch so that should be a new thing that we do good night everybody you have a good night and I everybody I want to up the ending so I’m switching your way for actually I you’re right Billy you know what guys I Billy brought up something else before he rage quit I have I you know what I’m glad you brought this up before he rage quit Billy because you distracted me by the way I have time now I have to do push ups and other stuff on a wartlike ground view up we put on the floor we would be doing pretty you how many when he going to do 10 yeah I can do it 10 push ups yeah I can do it unsatisfied I can do 10 push ups and I to zap myself he remembered and he distracted me with like it’s rage quit and move that thing back you pull to do it like her and yeah I don’t have the extension will you do dang well here hold on source sorry Jeff

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[izayoichan]

After leading him through the house, he finally opens the door, a room filled with books, posters and a general feeling of comfort appearing.

“Here you go, the den of the game master.” “You know, I have always wanted to try out this DnD stuff. But I never had any friends to play with, and the guys I hang with at school are the beer, fists and weed kind of guys so, I can't exactly suggest we go play DnD instead of going around kicking trashcans like we're so "rebel"...” “So does this mean you want to join properly, and not just be the comedy frog you were last time?”^ “I am game if you are!”

Rylan chuckles, grabbing a bunch of books, paper to write on, and a small bag that is filled with dice, putting it between them on the sofa. 

“Well part one, what would you like to play as?”

“I don't know? Warlock I guess? Oh! But the type of warlock who summons animals and stuff! Like a nature warlock, can I be that?” “Hmh. Nah, sorry in this game's rules warlocks only summon the undead.. but, but the sound of it, you want to be a Beastmaster.”

Takes one of the books, flipping quickly through the pages, handing it to River when he finds the right one. 

“Can I have a dragon companion?”  “Not at first and only if you are really lucky later on”

Hands him the book in his hands

“These are the different races you can play as a beastmaster: Human, Elf, half-elf, Tabaxi, and Arakocra, I marked them for you, so you can see which one you like the most”

Leaning back he watches River, admitting this was not quite how he imagined the evening to be, but he also had to admit, he did not mind one bit. It was actually very fun to see River like this, so into something he would never even have guessed. 

“So I can be a cat or a bird?... No half-dragons? I guess I can be a human then.” “Yes, sorry, the Dragonborn are fighters and have no spells in this game, silly I know. Now... a name?”

Holds a paper in his hand, where he writes down everything they have talked about so far, filling in his characters sheet as they go. 

“Can't we change that? or are those fixed rules in-game?

Rubs the back off his head, trying to think of a name

“Flynn River? I know, sucky name, Rapunzel “ fixed rules made by the ones that has made the game, I'd need to make a full my own version if I was to allow that, and I'm not that good at this yet. Could do that, or...”

Flips the pages off the books until they land on human names

“Maybe these would help, although I do like Flynn” “ I think you could make your own. I'd help, sure Hayden and Vy would too. Flynn it is.”

Laughs and looks over the names

“Flynn Anders? How about this one?” “Would take a lot off time though, would have to make a ruleset entirely off our own making for every class and race. It sounds like a fun challenge though... And yes, sounds good to me.

Adds it to the paper, writing up the basic stats of humans, then hands the pouch with the dies to River - 

“Now you find a d20... Ehm, just use the book and pour them all out, you'll need the set for playing later.” “ Wait, what?” “D&D uses a different type of dices for different things”

Stretches over him taking up one die.

“They are pretty much called depending on how many sides they have, this one having 20, so they call it d 20 for short. You need to throw it once for each stat so I can add that number to the base stat of your race and class.”  “Oooh! Got it. So I throw the dice for each stat and it tells me which stat points I have? Okay, I can do that. Wait. can I like upgrade stats as the story goes?” “Yep, when you gain experience you get points and you can choose where you think they will benefit you the most. You're rolling a d20 to catch you up to the rest of the group, stats-wise” “Oh! And there won't be a problem with me joining your group? And more importantly, so I get perks from dating the game master?” “Nah, I made it so I can add people along the way, just have to put your character on the way off the group, so you meet up.”

Chuckles and shakes his head 

“Nope, no perks other than maybe a kiss afterward, now finish the rolls and I will check what summons you can choose from” Mods and does as he told, getting the rest of the rolls, smiles at Rylan and sneaks a kiss from him, very quickly with a grin. Rylan just smiling, handing him yet another book as he finishes adding the rolls he just did to the character sheet.

“Okay, you can with your stats choose a main summon of a wolf, bear, snake or boar... And a scout summon is either eagle, hawk or..” 

Flips through a couple of pages, stopping at a leafy looking tiny pink dragon.

“ah look... Pixie dragon. You can use that as a scout.” “There are pixie dragons?! Okay! I totally want this! I don't care if it's pink, fairy-like and adorable! It's a dragon! Can I teach it to hoard coins and jewelry on my pouch?”  “Nah but they are very good scouts, so handy have, and the other, the one that will fight with you?” “It would be cool though. Imagine it decides to hoard flowers instead so my bag is also conveniently full of healing herbs because my pet dragons likes flowers! Can I have a wolf?”  “Yeah, either a Worgen or a dire wolf, you had some pretty nice rolls there”

Chuckles at the concept off the small dragons bringing back flowers and herbs whenever it scouts. “Hmh... I might actually allow it to bring back stuff while scouting, but only on a very high roll on a d20.” “ Direwolf then. We can call him Lobo. or maybe that's too obvious... Farkas if he turns out to be black. And cool! I hope he brings flowers I can gift the "princess" with”

Rylan just shakes his head, as the two off them finish up the last finishing touches of the character, Rylan explaining a bit of the game as they go. His attention suddenly caught by the fact that River put’s his hand on his cheek, pulling him up from the books kissing him.  

“I like seeing you like this, doing something you have fun with. It’s like a new side of you I missed out on seeing.”

Blushing slightly, he tells River how this was originally Hayden's idea, to give them things they could do together, even with him being sick a lot, this was normally something he would be able to do. 

“I’ll talk to my mom about new years even then, so we can play. And you are sure they won’t mind?”

He had asked who they played with, learning that it was friends from school as well as some family members of theirs. River slowly growing tired yawning every now and then. 

“ Maybe we should head back so you can get some sleep, I can just watch some movies or plot stories on my phone.” “I can always lay on your lap and sleep here while you plot? When did you get taller than me?" “When you lie down, I seem taller than you, dummy. And are you sure, the bed is probably more comfortable, although I admit to not knowing that fully.” “Alright, let's go try out your bed, then I can attest it's comfy or not.”

jumps up and grabs Rylan's hand pulling him up- 

“Lead the way, my fair princess.”

🎶

Beginning - Previous - Next

[minecraftoworymode]

local admin discovers this CRAZY life hack, other admins HATE him! click to find out more -->

no but seriously what the hell kind of drama is bad enough that you kill one of your best friends and torture the other for an unspecified but presumably quite lengthy amount of time? did fred start kinning one of romeo’s ‘no doubles’ IDs? did they accuse romeo of being a homestuck and, having no way to deny the truth, he killed them in a blind panic? they didn’t play romeo’s nine-hour oblivion mod and he took this as a supreme betrayal? romeo wouldn’t get off the xbox when it was xara’s turn? what led to them fighting “for control of the world”?

i mean, given how much romeo wants friends you’d think that for him to consciously yeet the only ones he had there’d have to be a really good reason for it, right? right??

[well, at least it’s free real estate. everything in this post is headcanon territory, so to save both of us the trouble of having to read “i think” or “probably” or “evidence suggests” every two sentences i’ll be speaking as if this actually happened. but if anyone else has an idea of what the heck happened, i’d love to hear others’ takes!!!]

big Fs in the chat tonight, pals. for all that he wants people to like him, romeo is really, really, REALLY bad at going about it like a normal person. (ESPECIALLY in canon. like. frankly it’s almost to the point of seeming intentional because NO ONE can be that dense about being such an absolute and utter scoundrel. who does things that actively malicious without being aware of how hurtful it is? even capitalists generally know they’re being bastards. canon, man. i dont know.)

but- he wasn’t always quite that bad at it. it’s just that once you’ve tripped and spilled paint all over your canvas, and also you have god powers that give you infinite copies of other peoples’ paintings, it’s a lot easier to plug your ears chuck the canvas in the trash and go LA LA LA, MUST’VE BEEN THE PAINT’S FAULT instead of admitting you made a mistake, cleaning up the mess you made, and trying again.

the admins’ friendship was the canvas. here is the paint.

romeo really wants people to be his friends, and he couldn’t have had better ones than fred and xara. and honestly? he was perfectly fine with leaving behind everything and everyone else he’d ever known- all he needed were the other admins, no one and nothing else. dependency whoms’t? but for fred and xara, whose stances on relationships were , just a bit healthier than that- as much as they loved romeo- they missed the people they’d left behind.

romeo had invited them here- first xara, then fred- and while he’d of course agreed to let them go back whenever they asked they’ve- like, the idea hasn’t really seriously come up in... it’s been a very long while. i’m still working on the exact timeline here but it’s been- he’d almost completely forgotten about it, actually. they, on the other hand... hadn’t. 

it’s like a freaking 2x combo double whopper whammy of being abandoned and also not being “enough” that hits romeo right in the heart nuts. but hey! necessity (or what he thought necessity) is the mother of invention, and for all that he thinks himself stupid he figured out a solution- more than a solution, even! he could do them one better than bringing them the people they missed. he would bring them the people they wanted.

the custom npcs mod allows you to create, well, npcs. it allows you to set their schedules, dialogue, stats, appearance, etc. and you do most of it by right-clicking with a hoe which i find hilarious but ANYWAY romeo came up with something similar. at first, his constructs were... not very convincing, but a little help from a bright-eyed friend made them almost indistinguishable from real people. (herobrine is another post, but for the record this isn’t even the biggest crap he’s pulled.)

he was so excited, presenting his gift to fred and xara. look, i was thinking- you said you missed that one roommate, right, even though they always left the door open and didn’t put food away? ta-dah! look at that, closing the door like a gentleman! and you were missing your counsellor, right? well, miss no more! they’re programmed to always be there for you- you never have to worry about scheduling or other patients, here’s someone who will always care! and that’s not all- if you’ve been having trouble with any of your moderators- or even the normal humans, those are fun too sometimes- this lets you change their mind! literally! no more arguing about what colour to make the new concrete blocks, no more fighting over who gets the first seat in the rollercoaster, you’ll never have to deal with any of that ever again-! ... hey, why aren’t you- why do you- why are you looking at me like that? xara? ... fred?

yeah, it... doesnt go over too well. the tool ends up broken, and romeo promises to not use it again- though only because it upset fred and xara, not because he really saw anything wrong with it. and he keeps that promise for a time. of course the paint can is already leaking, but romeo doesn’t see that yet. none of them really see what’s coming, not fully. how could they? no one wants to think the worst of the ones they love.

but they’re all understandably... tense, and romeo always tended to look to people to vent his emotions, and- the person who would come to be the warden  has a huge fight with romeo, right in front of fred and xara’s salad. like. it’s really bad. they’re both on the verge of tears and the warden SLAMS the door as he leaves, which does make romeo cry. and the other two are like... hey... do you want anything... some cake...? prog rock...? we can cuddle...? n romeo’s usually already invited himself to one or more of those things by now but instead of throwing himself into their arms and wailing he’s just, standing there silently, tears streaming down his face, looking of all things pensive. and next in the series of many shocking things to come, he does something he’s never done before: he brightens and says, “i’m going to fix this,” before resolutely walking out the door.

fred and xara are like. oh my god. is- is he actually going to talk out his feelings and problems? is this- is healthy open communication here? did we do it? have we reached the mental wellness? is it finally happening? n romeo comes back a few hours later with his arm around the warden’s shoulders and they're both smiling and laughing and it sounds like everything's worked out just fine. in fact, after that, a bunch of people who’d had beef with romeo in the past seem to work things out with him, all parties seeming genuinely happier for it. romeo’s made a real change! fred and xara have never been more proud, more relieved, or more wrong.

he can’t lie to his friends. he can lie to everyone else, up to and including himself, but not to the ones he loves. it’s just... they’d been so happy, and he’d never seen anyone that proud of him, and, and...

that doesn’t go over too well either. and he should really make the tool out of something other than like, wood, so it stops getting broken so easily? he certainly has time to do so- the silence that follows is the longest the admins have ever gone without talking to one another. in retrospect they probably should’ve known that things were only going to get worse from there, but could you blame fred and xara for hoping beyond hope that- since they were always the ones to drag romeo out of his sulking and brooding- him coming to them first was a sign that he’d changed, for real this time? and the way he starts the conversation- by saying how the admins’ absence has impacted the people in their care- it’s certainly promising.

but- ah, what’s that line? something like,

"Oft expectation fails, and most oft there Where most it promises; and oft it hits Where hope is coldest, and despair most fits."

there are very, very few things that make fred visibly angry. not that things don’t ever make them mad, it’s just that their dedication to living their best life means that they’re generally able to keep a firm grip on how they express their emotions. but for romeo to brainwash- no, worse than brainwash- they don’t even have a word for it- fred’s own people? they’re called their friends for a reason! it doesn’t MATTER that he thought it’d make fred happy- did he think, for even a moment, about listening to what they’d said? does he not realize how absolutely vile it was to do that? the others are real people, too! all of them, not just the ones he considers his friends- do you even understand what that word means, romeo? "friend"?

what really burns is that fred isn’t just angry- they’re disappointed. they’re scared. they’re just as hurt as he is, which is just- how DARE they?! ROMEO’S the one who’s being yelled at! why are THEY crying?! (they’re all in tears now, actually, but romeo doesn’t notice his own.)

a deep breath. fred asks him to undo what he’s done. romeo doesn’t move.

a tense heartbeat. fred asks again, and takes a step forward. this time romeo flinches back.

there’s not a single quark between the three of them right now not on edge. it feels like the air before a lightning strike. something’s going to break. none of them are backing down. maybe none of them can because, if romeo’s not going to do it himself- fred takes a final step forward and asks, remarkably calmly, for romeo to give them the tool.

and then he does! and they apologize to each other for not having been more open about their feelings and defining and maintaining their boundaries and then they make up and have a really good hug and it’s great, everything’s great, and this is probably the mental image romeo tried to fall asleep to before realizing that that wouldn’t stop the nightmares and just giving up on the whole “resting” thing. 

if you’re beginning to notice a pattern here with things really not going well, you might just be onto something about romeo’s behaviour. but to be fair none of them had gone into this situation expecting a fight- it was just, fred tried to take the tool and romeo instinctively pulled his weapon and- none of them realized quite how long fred had been losing blood? romeo had been lashing out, fred had been trying to take something he was holding while also trying to defend themself, xara had been trying to protect fred (and was also lashing out too, just a little)- i mean, they realized. eventually. and by that point honestly accidentally stabbing them wasn’t going to do anything the life force loss hadn’t, so like... 

okay, brief side note: as operator, romeo’s existence maintains the mcsm universe. he can’t die, even if he wants to. xara and fred had the next best deal (arguably anyway), in that they could only be truly hurt by one thing: the person who’d given them administrative powers in the first place. which happened to be the same person who’d, like, just stabbed his best friend and was now staring in open horror as said friend’s skin flickered back to its original appearance before-

just like that they were gone. just like that. the lack of body and inventory really should’ve tipped them off that something wasn’t right, but for all that they both replay that moment in their minds for years to come they somehow never consider that fred wasn’t quite dead. and romeo had always had such an imagination! but maybe it was for the best that they didn’t consider it, anyway. ... maybe it was for the best.

it doesn’t have to almost kill xara for romeo to take her powers, but it does anyway because if romeo made a lot of stupid decisions before that’s just gotten amped up to eleven now that 90% of his impulse control is gone.

oh.

oh no.!!

romeo watch out almost a millennium of unprocessed trauma and grief is sneaking up on you- romeo- oh my god he can’t hear us he has minecraft airpods in- romeo oh nO

anyway thanks for coming to my tedtalk! tune in next time to hear about the fallout of romeo’s actions across multiple worlds and the group of dissidents whose entire existence is to, well, diss romeo, aka soren’s cult. in conclusion:

[commander-hanji-zoe]

Do you have any advice for a new blog?

🌸 Oh this is such an interesting ask, I’ve been thinking about it for a few days now, sorry it’s taken a while to get back to you but I was thinking how best to answer it! While this blog has only been around for 3 years and I’ve only really started posting in it recently, I have had my main tumblr blog for 10 years and several side blogs with quite a few followers so I’m hoping I can provide some insight! I do apologise as this turned into a bit of a ramble that I feel is about tumblr but beings to overlap into life advice lol - I blame my age. 🌸

1.) I would say firstly, enjoy it. I feel sometimes there’s a lot of pressure to get loads of followers, create new content etc. and you can forget why you’re here. I got tumblr to reblog photos of things that made me happy from bands to tattoos, movie stuff, art etc and occasionally I would forget that and end up getting bogged down in comparing stats and myself to others. So yeah, enjoy it and remember why you joined ^_^

2.) If you love work that others create (writing/art/gif sets etc.) show your appreciation not just with likes but with comments and reblogging where you can/feel comfortable doing so. Likes are great and always appreciated but comments help to inspire and reblogging means more people will see their work. It encourages content creators to continue creating, it’s also a really good way of gaining followers and make friends. If you support others they will likely support you in return. 

3.) Share the art/fan art/cosplay photos you love as per above - but don’t repost work. This was something I wasn’t really aware of when I first joined tumblr, a lot of people would just save photos from google or deviant art (it was a very different place back then) and post them on tumblr to show appreciation. But often there would be no artist detail or link to the artist, instead if you find something you like reblog it from the creator. If it isn’t on tumblr and you’d really like to post it here, contact the creator and ask their permission to post - then include a link in the post and explain you have the artist’s permission. 

4.) Talk to people :) - Okay like Alice in Wonderland here’s some advice I could really use sometimes! Through tumblr I have met some of the most amazing friends. When I first started out I started chatting to a girl who went to the same Uni as me, we met up to go for coffee, browse record shops and saw The Vaccines together. I’ve also met numerous people who encouraged me to go to Hobbit Con in Germany - I had the most amazing time, remained friends, one of them came to my wedding. I guess the message here is that internet friends are great and you never know what a friendship can blossom into. If there’s someone whose work you admire or blog you love, don’t be afraid to reach out and send a message, even if you feel a bit silly (I often do!). 

5.) Tags - My take on tags is pretty simple, tag correctly. I often tag things quite heavily but I make sure that I only tag characters that feature in a post or fandoms that feature in that post etc. You often come across posts where every character in the show has been tagged, I get why people do it, it means the post will come up in more results but it is rather infuriating when you’re looking for something specific. It also looks messy and can make things hard to find on your own blog. So yeah tag the show/film/book etc, tag the relevant characters, add whatever tags you want regarding your feelings/emotions about the post or thoughts on it. But ideally keep it relevant. On that note, tag ships (people often blacklist ships they dislike or that they find problematic) so doing this helps everyone. Anything that’s only really suitable for people 18+ tag however you see fit (due to Tumblr’s changes last year we had to revert to tagging things on the citrus scale again so I tag anything like that as lemon as well as nsft) Finally Trigger/content warnings - I do use them, some people put warnings on everything, some people don’t do at all. Again like with shipping it is helpful for people who have  

6.) Remember to take breaks - tumblr can be a little addictive and easy to pass time (like social media) so remember to take breaks, when you get back they’ll be loads of new stuff on your dashboard to look at ^_^

7.) Follow loads of blogs! I probably should have put this higher up. But have a think about the kind of content you want to see and spend some time searching for blogs that fit that, I also find it’s nice to follow some more aesthetic blogs or blogs that are calming/relaxing, seeing things like that on my dash is always a reminder to have a breather!

8.) Enjoy playing around with themes - decide what you want your blog to be about (and remember there’s nothing wrong with having a main blog that’s a little bit of everything you love as well as personal stuff!) and then have fun with the settings. There’s a lot of free tumblr themes, some of which are pretty neat and user friendly in terms of customisation. Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you’re stuck. 

9.) Side blogs are also really great. I begun to create side blogs because I didn’t want to spam my main blog with Game of Thrones, The Hobbit, Red Dead Redemption 2 or Attack on Titan, so I created side blogs. I still post about all these things on main but not as frequently. A side blog can also be good if you want to create a blog you can share with employers - I have a side blog for my photography and one for my writing. Sideblogs are also a good way of keeping certain material away from the blog where people in real life are most likely to find you. Generally I won’t post 18+ material on my main blog, so smutty fan fiction etc. goes on the side blogs. As a side note, when you have a side blog you cannot like posts or ask questions as that side blog - it will be from your main blog. 

10.) Try not to get disheartened if you create original content and it doesn’t get a lot of attention at first. When you create a blog it can take time to gain followers/traction. But remember as per point 1, that Tumblr should be fun and creating content should first and fore mostly be for you and your enjoyement. But if you continue to create, tag appropriately but also show appreciation for fellow creators there’s no reason why in time you won’t flourish. And as per point 3, if you reblog others work there’s a chance they in return will reblog your art. 

11.) There’s extension kits you can get for tumblr, I know some people use them and find them helpful. I’m not sure they’re as poplar/needed now as they used to be. I used to use one but don’t feel the need now, however might be worth a google or asking someone more knowledgeable to see if it’ll work for you.

12.) You can blacklist tags through settings, if there’s any ships, characters, things you’d rather not see on your dash or that you find upsetting or triggering I’d recommend blacklisting them. If people tag correctly you shouldn’t much/if any of it. 

13.) Under blog settings you can also choose whether you want your blog to be searchable via the email address you registered with and on google. I switched this off pretty much as soon as it became a feature! My blogs, even my main blog are a piece of me which is only shared with a select few people in real life. I really do not need my colleagues, employers, certain family/friends finding this! 

14.) Use Queues! I adore a queue.... Once I discovered they were a thing I try to have around 100 posts in my queue on main at any time. You can amend how many times you post a day (mine is around 8-12 times, I change it when i go away). It just means your blog remains active even if you can’t really log on for a week or two or if you’re on holiday. Occasionally I’ll add original posts into my queue with writing, it can be nice to come back and see the feedback. A lot of people put ‘queue’ in the tag, but you’ll realise most people have a quirky tag. For example on main mine is - one does not simply queue their way through tumblr. And on my red dead blog it’s - I had a god damn queue! Sadly on here I haven’t got one yet! 

15.) Finally I would say engage in discourse as little as possible. It can be tempting and while drama can be fun for a while, even just to watch from the outside it can quickly escalate into something nasty and toxic. At first you might want to join in but tumblr can be, well it can be a lot at times and very noisy with everyone screaming their opinions and trying to be louder than the person before. I would say no fandom is inherently toxic, but it happens. A fandom I was heavily involved in last year had so much discourse and there was so much drama that even though I wasn’t involved in it my anxiety was through the roof, I had a panic attack over it and felt paranoid. After speaking to other older members in the fandom I felt much better (they too were annoyed with what was happening) and we realised that essentially a lot of it boiled down to a real lack of critical thinking. I’m not saying don’t get involved at all, sometimes I have seen things where I’ve felt things need to be said/action taken especially when it comes to intolerance and hatred. But I would say when you do engage - pick your battles. (I hope this last one makes sense). I started writing a lot more and going into the politics of it and ranting about bigots and then thought that’s probably enough! 😁

I hope this post helps! Like I said I’ve never been asked something like this so it took a bit of thinking but these are some of the key thoughts I had. 

edit - I meant to add that obviously the above is just my opinion and based on my experiences on tumblr/thoughts about things.

[ncfan-1]

Three Houses: Master Tier Additions

So, something I’ve noticed since Three Houses’s release is that there is some level of dissatisfaction with the master classes and a desire for more diversity. The master classes tend to heavily favor riding-oriented units, the massive nerf to the Mortal Savant’s speed growths can easily wreck a unit promoted to Mortal Savant, and so on. Personally, I am not someone with any influence over how the master classes work in Three Houses, nor how many there are, but I will admit wishing that some changes could be made—and that new master classes could be added. Here are some changes I would make, and the master classes I would add on—keeping in mind that I’m not an expert in FE game mechanics, and there may be things you guys think of that I didn’t.

For existing classes:

- Remove the gender-lock from all classes, not just the master classes. Linhardt’s a born Gremory, Lysithea’s a born Dark Mage/Bishop, and I was going to say that the Pegasus line could keep the gender-lock because the Wyvern line is a perfectly viable alternative, but damn it, let Hubert be the Pegasus Knight he’s always dreamed of being.

- Remove the -10% speed growth from Mortal Savant. Seriously, I don’t know what they were thinking with that one. A 0% increase in speed growth would have been fine; for the most part, you’re going to be promoting units with already-decent speed growths like Felix, Catherine, and Lysithea to that class, so it’s not like a 0% increase would hurt them too much.

- Let infantry magic units use gauntlets. I understand not letting cavalry or fliers use gauntlets, but the magic users, too? Like, the developers seriously thought Dorothea wouldn’t be prepared to throw down if the situation demanded it? That girl used to have to fend off attempted kidnappers and murderers when she was a songstress, and she broke their arms as a deterrent. She was 100% ready to fight Ingrid’s would-be fiancé in that one paralogue, and 110% ready to fight Bernadetta’s dad. Also, there are magic gauntlets in this game. Magic. Gauntlets. Seriously; the Aura Knuckles scale attack power off of a unit’s magic stats. And don’t tell me they’re something you can give to a Mortal Savant. Let. Magic. Units. Have. Gauntlets. Let Dorothea punch people 2k19.

Now, onto the classes I would add to the Master Class list of Three Houses, if I had that kind of power.

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The first thing you guys are going to notice about this list is that there’s a lot of classes on it. Well, it seems to me that the Master Class list should have the greatest diversity of all the tiers, the better to make the best use of a unit’s strengths. When a unit is first starting out, their skills and knowledge are limited, and thus, so are the number of beginner classes they have to choose from. You either know swords (Myrmidon), lances (Soldier), axes or bows (Fighter), or magic (Monk). But as time wears on, you hone your skills, train in other weapons and related skills, and discover you had talents you were never aware of, your horizons broaden, and more options become open to you. Hence the need for a massive Master Class tier list. Furthermore, while some of these classes would be the natural progression from a class in the Advanced tier, in keeping with the pattern this game has been establishing, not all of them are. And some of them you need to be planning to get a unit into since pretty much the beginning of the game.

1. Gold Knight

I’ve only played Awakening, Fates, Echoes, and Three Houses, and I haven’t played any of the DLC for the former three games, so I’ve only encountered this class in Echoes. But I loved the Gold Knight. It was a truly awesome class, and Mathilda was a fearsome tank once promoted to Gold Knight. For use in Three Houses, it would also serve as a good promotion for the Paladin that doesn’t involve putting a ton of time and effort into grinding the Heavy Armor skill level for riding units, or grinding the Riding skill for armored units.

Requirements for Gold Knight:

- Lance: A - Riding: A - Authority: B

You may be curious about the Authority requirement. Well, this goes back to my knowledge of what the Gold Knight is. Mycen and Zeke are both renowned generals; Mathilda, even as a Paladin, is regarded as a charismatic leader and a paragon of Zofian knighthood. These are people who have earned the respect and admiration of everyone around them, and thus, I think having an Authority requirement (and a fairly high one, at that) for the Gold Knight class would be appropriate. On top of that, part of the promotion to Gold Knight would involve a +10% increase in charm growth rates, thus making the Gold Knight’s gambits more and more potent as time wears on.

This would be a decent class for Dimitri to promote to, one that would actually be able to make good use of his budding talent in Riding. Other candidates include Sylvain, Lorenz, and Ferdinand. Leonie’s also a good candidate.

And I promise, this is the only cavalry unit on this list, though there are two three flying units.

2. Dread Fighter

I know Dread Fighter is a DLC class in Awakening, and maybe Fates as well, but my sole experience with it was as promotions for Gray and Saber, and damn, was this a fantastic class. Once Gray promoted to Dread Fighter, I could actually take him into late game battles without worrying about an arcanist one-shotting him; it was great. (Yeah, I know, I know; I shouldn’t have been directing him towards parts of the map that had arcanists on them to start with. I’ve learned better since then.)

Anyways, requirements for Dread Fighter:

- Sword: A - Brawl: A

This class would be a viable alternative to Mortal Savant for characters like Felix and Catherine, especially since I envision Dread Fighter getting a +10% increase to speed growths.

I considered making Apotrope (the class skill that automatically halves damage from magic attacks) a skill Dread Fighters learn automatically upon promotion, but it occurred to me that that would make this class incredibly broken, and while a Dread Fighter-only run would probably be fun to watch, it’s not very balanced. So Apotrope is the skill Dread Fighters learn upon class mastery instead, and unless you’ve been seriously grinding your units, it’s not likely to be something they’ll pick up until the last couple of chapters of the game (Though just peeking at screenshots of the map, it sounds like something that would be hella useful on the final map of the Blue Lions route).

3. Dark Flier

Personally, of my three Pegasus Knights in Awakening, Cordelia, Sumia, and Cynthia, I only made Cynthia a Dark Flier. Call me cautious, but I like to have as many healers on the field as possible, and to me, Falcon Knight seemed like a better option. But Dark Flier is a popular class, apparently, and I can see why. A flier that can use offensive magic, if they’ve got decent Defense/Resistance, would be a potent vanguard unit in any army.

Requirements for Dark Flier:

- Lance: C - Flying: B+ - Reason: B+ - Faith: B+

The Flying requirement is based on the Flying requirement for Falcon Knight also being B+. As for the Lance requirement being C instead of A, I made that because the Dark Flier is more magic-oriented than physical-oriented. Odds are, you’re going to be promoting units that were previously magic units, rather than flying units, to this class. And since, according to Serenesforest, Falcon Knights get a 5% buff to their resistance growths, Dark Fliers should conversely get a 5% buff to their defense growths. Again, it’s more likely people will be promoting magic users to this class, and since magic users tend to be a bit frail defense-wise, a 5% buff to defense would be a great thing for them. The Dark Flier’s natural role is to be the magic user that can kite in, take out a low-Resistance unit, and then Canto their way out of harm’s way.

The Dark Flier doesn’t get Lancefaire like Falcon Knights, and they don’t get Black Magic, Dark Magic, or White Magic Uses x2 the way a Gremory would. Basically, you’re trading the massive pool of spells at a Gremory’s disposal for the versatility of a magic user with much higher mobility than infantry mages. Instead, upon promoting, Dark Flier learns Avoid +10 and Canto as a Falcon Knight would. And similarly to the Dread Fighter, Galeforce should be the Class Mastery skill, since learning that right away would make them incredibly broken.

As for who might do well in this class, I would probably indulge myself and bust my ass getting Hubert’s Flying skill up to A so I could fulfill his dreams and make him a pegasus knight who can use magic. Practically speaking, there are other classes that would serve him better (sacrificing Black/Dark Magic Uses x2 is probably not the smartest move, especially considering he’s also got a negative modifier in Faith), but I still have a soft spot for this class for him. Interestingly enough, Flayn comes to your army with a positive modifier to Lances and Faith, a budding talent in Reason, and though she doesn’t have any modifiers to Flying, she starts out with a D rank in that skill. I suspect the developers wanted us to consider the Pegasus line for her as a possible alternative to any of the magic classes, especially considering she also has a negative modifier to Riding. If Dark Flier was a class in this game, she’d be an ideal candidate for it.

4. Malig Knight

Most people who have played Conquest have stories of how many times Camilla pulled their army’s collective asses out of the fire. Even if she gets RNG-screwed badly upon level-ups, her bases are good enough that she’s still viable throughout much of the game, and her versatility as a flying axe and magic unit is excellent. And since this game could use more variety in Master Class flying units (and I’m not fond of Awakening’s Griffon Rider, though given that the heraldic symbol of House Blaiddyd is Loog riding a griffin into battle… actually, yeah, I’ll make an entry for this one, too), Malig Knight gets an entry on this list.

Requirements for Malig Knight:

- Lance: C - Axe: B - Flying: A - Reason: B+

The Malig Knight is somewhat more balanced regarding physical vs. magic fighting than the Dark Flier, hence the Axe requirement being lower than Wyvern Lord, but still fairly high. The Malig Knight retains the weakness to bows and magic of the other Wyvern units, but makes up for it by being able to dish out magic right back. Like the Dark Flier, Malig Knight doesn’t learn Black Magic, Dark Magic, or White Magic Uses x2, trading a deep well of spells for high mobility. The Malig Knight will get 5% buffs to their magic and resistance growths, and will learn Savage Blow from Fates (a skill that enables the unit, when it initiates battle against an enemy, to reduce the HP of all enemies within a two tile radius by 20% after the battle) as its Class Mastery skill.

5. Griffon Rider

Okay, I’m only putting this one on the list because the heraldic symbol of House Blaiddyd is Loog riding a griffin into battle. It has world-building significance, and I’ll admit, the idea of someone riding a griffin into battle is a cool image, even if I didn’t like this class in Awakening. So. Griffon Rider.

Requirements for Griffon Rider:

- Axe: B - Sword: B - Flying: A+

I’ve put Flying at a higher rank than it is for either of the canonical flying Master Classes or the two previously mentioned on this list. This is because of a headcanon for me, that Griffons are harder to tame than pegasi or wyverns, and more difficult to direct in battle.

Mechanically, Griffon Riders are basically Glass Cannon: The Unit (As opposed to Awakening, where their growth rates are so average as to make them essentially mediocre). They have high strength and speed (though their speed isn’t as high as the likes of Falcon Knights or Dark Fliers), and given my headcanon about how hard Griffons are to tame and train, their luck and dexterity isn’t bad, either. Their HP growths are great. But their defense and resistance are both low. Griffon Riders in this game have the same weaknesses as Griffon Riders from Awakening; they’re weak to arrows, beast-slaying weapons, and wind magic (Other kinds of magic do not deal effective damage). You have to be careful about where you place them on the map if you don’t want them to get bum-rushed and killed in a single enemy phase.

The biggest appeal of the Griffon Rider is its exceptionally high mobility. Falcon Knights and Wyvern Lords start out with 8 movement, and the same goes for Dark Fliers and Malig Knights. Griffon Riders, on the other hand, get 9 movement. The Griffon Rider would be effective in its ability to, say, swoop in to rescue an infantry mage being closed in on by an enemy unit with higher movement than them. Any unit can be effective if used correctly, even if it’s in a class I don’t particularly care for.

6 and 7. Sorcerer and its Faith Magic equivalent (Sage?)

The Gremory embodies the saying “A jack of all trades, while master of none, is often better than a master of one.” Gremory is a fan-favorite as far as classes go, and I can see why. The fact that the Gremory gets Black Magic, Dark Magic, and Faith Magic Uses x2 makes them quite potent as a unit, competent in all forms of magic, though I suspect the fact that it’s the only infantry unit in the Master Tier that specializes in magic might make us appreciate it a little more than we otherwise would.

But, for these two units, let’s talk about a couple of Masters of One.

Requirements for Sorcerer:

- Reason: A+

If you aim to make one of your units a Sorcerer, you had better start training their Reason skill up early, because it can be hard to get Reason up to A+ if you’re trying to train a unit up in any other skills. The Sorcerer learns Black and Dark Magic Uses x3, learns Black Tomefaire as well, and learns Seal Resistance as a class mastery skill. However, this comes with a trade-off. Anyone who is classed into Sorcerer loses access to Faith Magic. Therefore, you have to really think about who you want to promote to Sorcerer. Hubert would be a decent choice, since he has a positive modifier in Reason and a negative modifier in Faith; the same goes for Dorothea, if you never foster her budding talent in Faith. But if you have a unit with a good Faith spell list, you might think twice about classing them to Sorcerer.

I’m not certain what to call the Faith Magic equivalent. For right now, I’m calling it Sage, though I know that in other games, a Sage is typically a red mage, rather than a pure white mage. Saint is a class unique to Seiros, so I don’t think it would be appropriate for this class. Anyways.

Requirements for Sage:

- Faith: A+

This really is the Faith Magic equivalent to Sorcerer. The Sage learns White Magic Uses x3 and White Tomefaire, at the expense of losing access to Black and Dark Magic. Like, a character like Marianne, who has an excellent Faith list, or Manuela, who has a positive modifier in Faith and a negative in Reason, would be good candidates for Sage. Someone like Lysithea? Well, you’d think twice, wouldn’t you? I mean, yeah, she gets Seraphim and Abraxas, but damn, look at her Reason spell list. It’s all about the tradeoffs you’re willing to make.

8. General

The thing about armored units in this game is that you get two infantry units, one for Intermediate and one for Advanced, and then you have to switch gears and start furiously grinding riding skill if you want to get them into the Great Knight Master class. And that’s okay for a unit like Ferdinand, who has a positive modifier in Riding and a budding talent in Heavy Armor. But if you’re trying to get Dedue up to Great Knight, grinding Riding is a pain in the ass. Hence, the need for an infantry heavy armor unit in the Master Tier.

General requirements:

- Axe: B+ - Lance: B+ - Heavy Armor: A

I’m not averse to the idea of training up skills for a Master Class that weren’t required in the closest equivalent on the Advanced Tier, though something as disparate as riding was an unpleasant surprise. Unless we’re dealing with a character with a negative modifier in Lances, Lance skill will be something much easier to get up to snuff, as an infantry unit can actually gain skill XP in battle, unlike with Riding skill.

The General gains 1 movement upon promotion, going from 4 movement to 5 movement, the same as a Gremory (And, for the purposes of this post, a Sorcerer and a Sage). Like the Armored Knight and Fortress Knight, the General’s specialty is to be a high HP, high defense tank that can shrug off blows from non-armor breaking weapons like they just got hit with a piece of straw. Magic can hurt a general quite badly, but unless they’ve been getting RNG-screwed badly on level-ups, or they get hit with an especially potent spell like Meteor (or as I like to call it, Death From Above), odds are they’ll be able to tank at least two hits.

A General learns Lancefaire, Axefaire, and Weight -5 upon promotion, and learns Wary Fighter from Fates as a Class Mastery skill, thus preventing attacking units from doubling. Like an Armored Knight and a Fortress Knight, a General is good for holding down a chokepoint and letting frailer units like archers or mages pick off enemies from behind them, but their higher mobility make them more viable for moving around the map and picking off physical-oriented units.

9. Adventurer

Adventurer was a Nohrian class introduced in Fates. It, along with its Hoshidan rough-equivalent (in terms of mechanics, rather than class description) of Priestess was a combination Archer and White Mage. Depending on the situation, the Adventurer works better as either an offensive unit with its skill in bows, or a support unit in its skill with staves. On Conquest, there were only two first-generation units who had access to this class, Niles and Shura, and the utility of having offensive units who could heal on Conquest’s maps was certainly useful.

Adventurer Requirements:

- Bow: A - Faith: B

For Three Houses, I’m envisioning the Adventurer as a unit somewhat more attack-oriented than magic-oriented. It can only make use of Faith Magic; no Reason Magic for this class. Basically, the Adventurer is a seasoned thief who has learned healing magic, the better to patch itself up when it goes on expeditions alone, and to act as a healer to the rest of the team when going on raids. Like the Thief and Assassin, the Adventurer learns Locktouch upon promoting, though this class is more bow-oriented, while the former two are more sword-oriented. The Adventurer has high Speed, Dexterity, and Resistance, average Magic and Strength, and is somewhat frail Defense-wise. I mentioned the Thief and Assassin, but this would be a viable promotion from Sniper as well, since it has the same Bow skill requirement as Sniper, and so long as the unit in question doesn’t have a negative modifier in Faith, it won’t be that hard to get their Faith skill level up to B while you’re waiting for them to reach Level 30. Especially if you’ve already been paying some points into Faith.

So, Adventurer. Hits hard, has a good chance of critting enemies. Bit of a glass cannon, and as far as Faith Magic goes, works better as a utility healer than an offensive magic-wielder, though if you promote a unit with a Faith spell list like Marianne’s to Adventurer, that can change. They do well with the Magic Bow.

10. Master of Arms

You know how I called the Gremory a jack of all trades? Well, the Master of Arms, introduced in Fates, is the ultimate jack of all trades. As you will see directly below, promoting to Master of Arms requires training up more weapons skills than any other master class, but while they all require fairly high skill levels, none of them are super high.

Master of Arms Requirements:

- Sword: B - Lance: B - Axe: B - Bow: B

In Fates, the Master of Arms could only use the first three weapons on that list, but Three Houses being the kind of game it is, and Master of Arms being the kind of name for a class that it is, I feel that the Master of Arms should be on the high-end of competent with multiple weapons.

Is this easily attainable? No. There are no characters in Three Houses who have proficiencies in all four of these areas—Ashe, Ferdinand, Petra, Seteth, Claude, and Cyril come the closest, with three. Hell, the avatar only has a positive modifier in one of them. You’re more likely to encounter characters who have negative modifiers in at least one of them—Mercedes has negative modifiers in all of them, aside from Bows, which she has a Budding Talent in. It will not be easy to get someone up to snuff for Master of Arms, and that’s the point. The Master of Arms is a seasoned combatant who has learned to fight well with multiple weapons, and knows the answer to roughly 90% of the problems combat will throw at them. That is not easy to accomplish.

Stat-wise, the Master of Arms will have high dexterity. Dexterity is the Three Houses-equivalent of skill, and in case I haven’t hammered it in hard enough, it takes a lot of skill to get up to B in four different weapons. Their strength and speed will be slightly above average, magic will be mediocre (but that isn’t really relevant, since the Master of Arms doesn’t have access to magic), and like the seasoned, versatile combatant they are, their defense and resistance are both fairly high.

Since the Master of Arms is a jack of all trades, they do not learn Swordfaire, Lancefaire, Axefaire, or Bowfaire upon promotion. After all, they are not a specialist in any one weapon. Instead, they learn Seal Strength upon promotion, which allows the Master of Arms to, if they initiate an attack against an enemy and land a hit, to reduce the enemy unit’s strength by 6, recovering 1 point of strength by turn. Their Class Mastery skill is Defiant Dexterity, which allows the unit in question to gain Dexterity +8 when its HP is at 25% or lower.

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Anyways, here is my wishlist for additions to the Master Classes of Fire Emblem Three Houses. I suppose I can hope for at least for a couple of them to show up after more of the Expansion Pass DLC drops. (And for them to remove the gender-locks on all of the classes.) Given their popularity, Dread Fighter and Dark Flier might show up, at least.

[nodesiretogrowup]

it’s time for my play-by-play review (put some breaks in so it’s not a giant wall of text):

“Here in Duckburg, life is like...a hurricane?” Ha ha theme song reference.

El Pato is Spanish for the duck and that amuses me. Although we call our version of that storm system El Niño, so shouldn’t it have been El Patito?

Mr. Chunk’s EXTRA CHUNKY Chili Chunks

“Could you give us a hand?” *All laugh* In hindsight, he probably should have helped them instead of using the time tub again. He’d still get in trouble for stealing, but he probably would have gotten a less harsh punishment.

“We should have plenty of food we won’t get sick of.” “I said sick from and you know it.” Classic kid logic.

Are the chili dogs a Sonic reference, since Ben is playing him in the upcoming movie?

“Chili dogs put the ‘hooray’ in ‘hooraycane’ party.” That was an awful pun and we should all be mad at Della for it.

“And we all get scurvy. Again.” This is why they need Donald home.

“Is that your parenting strategy or did you get that off a bumper sticker?” Beakley keeps in real.

Beakley and Della have a great dynamic this episode. I honestly think Beakley sees a lot of herself in Della and is trying to teach Della what she wishes someone had taught her when she had her own kid(s).

Louie pushing Huey to the center of the room so that nobody notices him leaving, smart.

“My brother’s gonna be a professional nerd.” Hooray for supporting your brother!

Mary Poppins-CONFIRMED MEMBER OF THE MCDUCK CLAN.

The wooden cane reminds me of Hop Pop’s

“That boy’s up to something.” Crazy thought here but maybe you should be proactive about that and follow him YOURSELF.

Launchpad never ceases to amaze me. How did he nail wood to STAINED GLASS?

That’s coming out of his paycheck.

“You’ve got your own tub?! Lucky.” GET THIS MAN A TUB, STAT!

I hope we get more Louie and Launchpad stuff. The way they play off each other is great.

Louie’s little presentation is great and runs on kid logic.

Bubba is adorable.

BWAMP. Nice sound effect.

“Time Treasures, a subsidiary of Louie Inc. It’s not a crime if it’s lost to time.” Cute, but I doubt that would hold up in court. 

Also, did Louie’s plan/most of the episode remind anyone else of Bender’s Big Score? Bender pulled a similar scheme at the end, only his time traveling caused a rip in the fabric of space. So they got off lucky here?

I totally buy Launchpad keeping a shower cap and rubber ducky on his person at all times. I WANT HIM TO GET HIS BUBBLE BATH, DAMMIT!

“HEY COOL. A DEAD GUY!” Dewey, you really shouldn’t get that excited over corpses. I know Bubba is actually alive, but did they?

Webby, Bubba is taller and buffer than you. I don’t think he qualifies as a “little” guy.

I DEMAND to know about the times Scrooge was frozen in an iceberg! Is Webby counting the time he and Goldie were frozen together?

Metaphors and hypothetical situations don’t work on Della. Maybe it’s a pilot thing. 

“HISTORY IS ALIVE!” I LOVE MY NERD SON.

I love when people meet someone who doesn’t understand them/speaks a different language, they think talking louder will help.

“He’s got a hat like a person!” Is that racist?

Of COURSE Dewey turns the hat backwards.

“Your Funky Fresh ways” These kids have watched waaaay too much 90s media. The little hip shimmy was great.

Chili dogs>tree bark 

“Man, I am learning SO MUCH.” Me too, Webby. Me too.

Did the exchange between Louie and Launchpad about the ethical nature of Time Treasures remind anyone else of when Jim and Launchpad discussed Jim’s plan to get himself into the movie or am I seeing parallels where there aren’t any?

Louie went to the school of Katara. (Both agree it’s ok to steal from pirates)

NOTHING is ever 100% safe

Dewey reeeeeeally wants another sibling. I bet someone is gonna push his mom into the dating scene.

OG DUCKTALES REFERENCE FTW

Bubba-a lyrical genius

Launchpad looks SO LOST while all of this is going on. Though he seems pretty lost in the whole episode.

“At least make him wear a helmet.” Safety lessons!

“SHUT UBBA, MAN.”

“Don’t think about it too hard.” A rule of thumb when dealing w/ time travel.

Poor Launchpad is having an existential crisis.

 And THAT is why we leave time travel to the professionals, Louie. Next time just ask Uncle Scrooge.

How did they make a graphic for Timephoon so fast?

Roxanne is salty, but of course the source is McDuck Manor.

I DEMAND MORE FRANKLOON. Maybe Fenton could write a musical about him. Sidenote: I REALLY WANT a Ben Franklin musical. 

Bubba-an artistic MARVEL

Shimmy that board clean!

The little head stroke she gives Louie. MY HEART!

I...don’t think that is how to do math.

“I see how you turned this into a lesson in parenting and I’m impressed.” THAT’S HOW GRANDMAS ROLL.

Gyro-the most USELESS TWINK. I love him.

I love the way Bobby says “oh boy” for Louie.

“HE IS OFFENSIVE TO THE FIELD OF ANTHROPOLOGY!” Time travel in general is probably offensive to anthropology.

Is it wrong to enjoy Huey going FERAL AS FUCK? Because I thoroughly enjoy it.

Why would you listen to Dewey on research?

“Did you SEE that finger progression on that solo?” 

Bubba-MASTER MUSICIAN! Also, KEYTARS ROCK!

“COME HERE, YOU HISTORICAL ABOMINATION!” Not saying Huey’s killed a man, but he knows how to and how to cover it up.

 Pretty sure Webby and Dewey are trolling.

“Definitely not cloning an army.” I have SO MANY QUESTIONS. 

Louie’s in hoodie-ville.

“He could be anywhen!” Time travel jokes.

I like that they all assume it’s Gyro at first. WHAT CRIMES HAS THIS MAN COMMITTED?!

“It’s one of the kids.” “I’ll get Dewey.” I could see Dewey stealing the time tub, but he’d just try and change the name of things into Dewey puns.

Ninjas,worse than termites-Scrooge Mcduck, 2019 

MORE BEAKLEY/DELLA TEAM UPS PLZ

“Even good kids do dumb things.” And good adults. No one thinks Louie is a bad kid, but he was pretty dumb.

What was with the log?

SANTA TRAP

“Oh no, they may be French.” That line made me laugh.

Launchpad falling asleep when the tapestry was over his face-hilarious.

“Don’t ask.”

Launchpad-always asking the right questions.

“Thank you past and/or future me.” 

I love Huey trying to make sense of Bubba.

“I hate this.”

Poor Huey.

Bubba-an amazing animal tamer

I really like how much Della admires Beakley.

Webby shouting “GRANNY!” T_T

So is that picture of Scrooge, Donald, and Della fighting pirates a time travel related adventure?

Hi Woody and Jessie

“I’VE IMMEDIATELY FAILED YOU.” Mood

Launchpad is so wise. But I think time is more timey-wimey, wibbly-wobbly, right Scrooge?

Della’s angry mom voice

The fight is cool.

“AH, ME SCURVY!” BRICK JOKE FTW!

Not the time for time travel logic, Dewey. Plus they seem to be coming from different countries so anywhere would still work.

Bubba-A HERO

“GO, YOU FREAK OF HISTORY!”

#youtriedLaunchpad

“EVERYTHING WE DO HAS ALREADY HAPPENED!”

Della shouting “KIDS” and Louie shouting “MOOOM” really hit me in the gut.

Let’s pour one out for Bubba.

I PRAY TO GOD someone writes fics about what each character was doing in the time period they ended up in.

Della was giving me MAJOR Joan of Arc vibes in that armor.

Yeah, this scene hurt. But it needed to be done. Louie still seems to think that it was all a good idea. He hasn’t learned his lesson yet.

That scene also reminded me of Merida and Elinor’s fight in Brave. Both sides have a point, but both went too far.

I’m glad Louie didn’t instantly accept his mom. It’s more interesting that way and feels real.

I love that Launchpad looks around at everyone before he reacts. He most likely knows nothing about the Spear of Selene incident so he has no idea of how hurtful Louie’s comment was.

Gyro had NO REACTION to any of that fight.

That broke poor Della.

“I went to the future. I’ve seen how the world ends.*pause* It was neat! See you there soon!” 

I wonder why Launchpad was the only one who went forward in time. Could it play a role in stopping the invasion?

“Some people aren’t ready for the truth.” So wise.

Bubba-THE FIRST OF CLAN MCDUCK

[avidbeader]

Okay, it’s been a roller coaster of a week for the Sheith community as we dealt with the “leaks”, so I’m going to toss something out here to help make it better. Sorry I can’t share a complete chapter of “Skydancer” or “The Quintessential Bond” or “The Icarists” yet, but I promise, I’m trying to peck away at those with what tiny bit of time I have.

This is a story that should probably end up around four chapters. I started it in June, stress-writing during the runup to Season 6. Current chapter is rated T for a couple of swear words but will probably stray into M territory in Chapter 3. Title is tentative but this has been thoroughly beta’ed by the wonderful @latart. I guess I’ll try and get it on AO3 in the next few days.

Give Me a Sign

Chapter 1 - Graduation

Shiro felt the satin at his shoulders slide to one side yet again and growled in frustration. As he reached to try and straighten it for the umpteenth time, Matt laughed and batted his hand away.

“Here, let me.” Shiro stood still as Matt unzipped the robe a little and looped the hood under his necktie. “Step one, check. Now, step two. Pidge! Need a safety pin!”

A tiny woman, with hair the exact same honey-brown as Matt, eeled through the growing crowd of faculty and reached into the pocket created by her elongated sleeve. She produced a pack of safety pins and stepped into Shiro’s personal space after removing one and thrusting the pack into Matt’s hand.

“Hold still. And don’t forget it’s in here after the ceremony or you’ll rip both your hood and your tie.”

Shiro’s eyebrows rose and he replied dryly, “Yes, ma’am.” He stayed still as her fingers worked quickly at his throat, pinning the hood dead center underneath his tie. Then she pushed at him to turn around. Matt grinned as she adjusted the hang of his hood, turning the point out to show both colors against the black.

Matt returned the safety pins. “Pidge, meet Takashi Shirogane, our new physics teacher. Shiro, this is Katie Holt, comp sciences department chair and my sister.”

Shiro brightened and held out a hand. “Nice to finally meet you. Matt’s mentioned you a few times. Have I seen you at the faculty meetings?”

She shook hands, not seeming to notice the glove covering his prosthesis, and nodded. “Yeah, probably. Nice to meet you, too. Matt told me about your boot camp reviews for the AP exams. If you’ve got some kind of outline that can be adapted to other subjects, I’d love to see it.”

Shiro nodded. “Yeah, I modified it from something the AP Stats teacher did at my previous school.”

“Excellent!” She shot him two thumbs-up and was about to go on, but a cry of “Pidge! Got your safety pins?” from the other side of the crowd made her roll her eyes before taking off.

Shiro chuckled and Matt clapped him on the shoulder. “I swear, you’ll eventually meet everyone here.”

“Really? Because every time I turn around, it looks like you’ve added another dozen faces.”

Matt shrugged. “Yeah, it’s a big faculty, but it’s a big school. We’ve been above two thousand students for five years now.”

Shiro shook his head. His last school, before the accident and prolonged recovery, had been in a smaller town and had a total of about five hundred kids. The graduating class alone here at Glenn High was bigger than that. But being able to step into a job as soon as the doctors cleared him—in the fourth quarter, no less—had been a godsend.

“Have you heard from Ms. Caplan lately?” Shiro asked after the teacher he’d replaced.

“Not for a couple of weeks. She didn’t try to find a job yet; still dealing with the family stuff.”

Shiro gave a tight, sympathetic smile, then jumped slightly as a voice sounded over a bullhorn. “All right, faculty! Two lines, evenly divided! Line leaders, go between the rows of seats and loop around to the front one! Start when the band shifts to the processional!”

Shiro followed Matt, who snagged his sister’s arm as she was passing and pulled her into line in front of him. As the teachers shifted into two groups, Shiro spotted the bullhorn in the hand of a woman in a vibrant pink sundress. For a moment he wondered why she wasn’t in regalia if she were a teacher, then realized as she plunged through the doors into the lobby with the seniors that she’d dressed for visibility against the navy, gold-trimmed robes the students wore. Now she was shouting instructions through the bullhorn at the students, scolding them for getting out of their designated lines.

Matt nodded in her direction. “Have you met Ms. Altea yet? Theater teacher. Always in charge of graduation.”

Shiro shook his head. Pidge leaned around Matt and grinned. “Yep, always and forever. A couple of English teachers tried to take it over a few years ago and it was the sloppiest ceremony we’d had in years. The principal went to Allura and almost begged on his knees for her to come back. She did, but only after she’d leveraged him for doing a fall musical as well as a spring one every year.”

Shiro laughed. He’d only been here for two months and already knew that Glenn prided itself on its arts programs. And the soccer, track, and swim teams. And the fact they offered five languages. And traditionally having the highest average of AP scores in the district.

He was fairly confident that he hadn’t done any damage to the students in the enviro and physics classes he’d taken over. He had simply started on his boot camp review, supplementing the few areas where he noticed weaknesses in the students’ knowledge, and the scores from the practice exams pointed to a robust passing rate. Certainly most of the students had come in from the tests feeling good. The hardest part had been getting used to the fact that everyone here called the environmental science class “APES” instead of “Enviro”.

The music shifted, jerking Shiro out of his thoughts, and he followed Matt out to the rows of faculty seats.

********************

Shiro was dealing with culture shock, yet again. The graduation ceremony was held in the basketball arena of an area university. This was the third ceremony of the day to take place here; the district had nine separate high schools and seven of them were so big that not even the football stands on their campuses would hold all the friends and relatives of the graduating classes. It was so very different from his old school, where they had used the auditorium, or even the small private school he had attended, with the ceremony and reception in a nearby hotel. He looked around as he stood in line in front of his seat, between Matt and a vaguely familiar face from the career and tech department, a large guy who had expressed interest in Shiro’s prosthesis from an engineering standpoint.

Pidge leaned over Matt again as they waited for the students to enter. “You are very, very lucky. This place only got air conditioning a year ago.”

Shiro blinked at that and Matt nodded. “Yeah, it was fucking miserable if the weather was typical June. Last year I think almost all of us cried when we entered the building, we were so relieved.”

The seniors began filing in, following the junior marshals in their white shirts or dresses with gold sashes. Like the faculty, they came in from both sides and did a rather impressive pattern of alternating rows. Even with the very efficient method, it still took ten minutes for the section to fill. Shiro nodded and smiled at a few of the students from his classes, and a couple of seniors actually broke line to fist-bump the teacher beside him, one murmuring, “I made it, Mr. Garrett!”

“Yes, you did, Luis. Knew you could.”

As Mr. Mayfield, the principal, instructed everyone to remain standing for the anthem, Shiro noticed a young man moving to one corner of the stage. He was dressed to the nines in a navy suit, except the jacket seemed to hang one size too large for him.

Then he began moving his arms and Shiro understood. Glenn was the magnet school for the deaf/hard-of-hearing population and the young man was the interpreter. His hands and arms moved continuously through the anthem as he mouthed the words.

Shiro found himself watching the interpreter with growing amusement. He was getting into it, his expression constantly reflecting his thoughts on what he was doing. He showed delight at the jokes the salutatorian included in the welcome, looked overly stern as the senior class president introduced the administration and school board members. Then the student chorus began singing “Seasons of Love” and the interpreter was this close to just dancing across the stage as he signed the lyrics and lip-synced along.

As the seniors who were part of the chorus separated from the other students and filed into the empty rows that had been held for them, Shiro noticed the interpreter change places with another young man who had been seated nearby. The second interpreter was striking, with longish dark hair. His suit was deep burgundy, with a blue-and-gold striped tie to represent the school colors, and his jacket was also a little large to give him greater freedom of movement.

His style was more subdued. He signed precisely and his face showed appreciation for the combination of jokes and serious thoughts that the valedictorian shared, but he was clearly trying to keep general attention on the speaker more than himself. As the interpreter continued with the closing remarks from the student body president and the principal’s warning to the audience not to create noise during the reading of the graduates’ names, Shiro grew more appreciative of his features and began wondering what color eyes he had.

And then Mr. Wimbledon-Smythe, department chair of social studies, began reading the names as students crossed the stage to shake hands with the superintendent and collect their diplomas from the principal. Shiro’s eyes widened when he realized just how fast the man was going. After the first few names, the only noise coming from the audience was the quickest of whoops or claps, because families realized that they might miss the reading of their student’s name. Both interpreters were standing now, taking turns finger-spelling each name. Shiro watched, racking his brain for the ASL alphabet that he learned once as a child for fun, and saw that they were spelling first initials and surnames only.

In a shockingly short time, the superintendent directed the students to turn the tassels on their caps to the left, the students screamed and tossed caps into the air to celebrate, and the recessional began. Shiro followed Matt out and the theater teacher directed them to stay in line, creating a funnel to the exits where families would be coming to find their children. The tech teacher turned to him, grinning openly.

“Okay, Allura just beat her record. Five hundred fifty-seven graduates and we’re done in fifty-eight minutes!”

Shiro laughed. “I can’t believe I’m going to get home in time to watch the game from tipoff.”

“Yeah? Warriors or Sixers?”

“Sixers, I guess. I grew up following the Bulls, so I don’t have a dog in the fight, but the Warriors have enough championships.”

“I hear you. I grew up in Houston. Oh, I think we met but just the once. Hunk Garrett, electrical and mechanical engineering.” “Takashi Shirogane, but call me Shiro. Sciences.”

Their conversation was cut off as the first students emerged from the basketball court and many of the faculty began applauding. Allura was in the middle, without the bullhorn but shouting, “Go, go, GO!” as she encouraged the students outside. As they filed out, many students traded high-fives or ran over to hug a favorite teacher. Shiro was surprised by one young man who exuberantly hugged every single teacher in his line, but played along.

Once the last students were out, Matt and Pidge led Shiro through a side door that let them slip around the growing crowds of family and friends and toward the bus that had been arranged from the school so the faculty wouldn’t have to fight for parking. Pidge unzipped her robe, revealing a loose, light green dress, and unpinned her hood.

Shiro worked his own pin free and handed it back to her. “Thanks for that.”

“No problem. What time are you coming in tomorrow?”

“Nine or ten. I still have a lot of science equipment to inventory and stow.”

She nodded. “I have to go through the laptop carts, make sure everything’s cleared from testing and such. And I still haven’t emptied my desk yet.”

“Emptied your desk?”

“Yep,” Matt replied. “You’ll need to clean out your desk and label all the furniture with your room number. When they do the floors, they just throw everything in the halls. They work so fast you can’t trust them. Get as much as you can into the closets, the big bookcases, or file cabinets. They don’t move those.”

Shiro groaned. “Okay, maybe I’m coming in at eight.”

Pidge straightened, seeing the bus driver headed their way. “Don’t forget, luncheon in the cafeteria at noon. The PTA got Sal’s Catering to do the food, so it should be a nice spread.”

Shiro nodded in response, noticing the two interpreters headed for the reserved parking area. They seemed to be in a heated discussion and finally the first interpreter threw up his hands and got into a car. The second interpreter headed for a motorcycle, trading the burgundy jacket for a leather one from a side compartment and pulling out a helmet.

Shiro hadn’t realized he was staring until Matt elbowed him. “See something you like?”

“You don’t know me well enough to ask that,” Shiro retorted.

Pidge snickered as Matt grinned and answered, “Yeah, I think I do.”

********************

Once again, Shiro found himself comparing his previous school to this one and being impressed. Instead of a basic pizza delivery, the luncheon was a full meal, including two entrees, sides and salads, with everything clearly labeled for a variety of dietary restrictions. There was a raffle with over twenty different gift cards as prizes. Mr. Mayfield quickly but enthusiastically ran through a list of recognitions, and Shiro stood when called upon as one of the faculty members who had joined mid-year.

Pidge grabbed Shiro’s elbow as the meal broke up. “Did you get your room finished yet?”

“Almost, I still have to get a couple more things onto shelves and defrost the mini-fridge in there.”

“Have you covered your shelves yet?”

“Covered them?”

“Yeah, the cleaning crew tends to splash wax on everything. Plus the band kids use some of the rooms for section practice in the summer and you don’t want them messing with anything visible.”

“Um, okay. What do I use? Newspaper?”

She shook her head and called out, “Keith! Hey, Keith!”

Shiro froze as the dark-haired interpreter from graduation turned and headed over. And Shiro found the answer to his question: he had blue eyes that shaded toward gray in a way that made them look almost violet.

“Keith, do you think Ms. Parham still has any old bulletin-board paper?”

He nodded. “Looked like it when I checked in with her this morning. Why?”

“Shiro here needs some for his shelves. Can you show him to her room?” She grinned mischievously, looking very like her brother for a minute.

Keith looked at Shiro, slightly nonplussed, and Pidge rolled her eyes. “Shiro, this is Keith Kogane, our ASL teacher. Shiro’s our new science teacher.”

Keith rolled his eyes in return, mocking her, before holding out a hand to shake. “Yeah, I heard Mayfield say so. Sure, follow me.”

Keith led him to a hall of the sprawling main building he had not seen before. As they walked, Shiro noticed that students had painted a lot of the ceiling tiles. The theme was Spanish: flags for different countries, logos for popular brands or soccer teams. Keith stopped at one open door and tapped on it. “Sarah? You still have spare bulletin-board paper?”

The woman in the room held up one hand as she finished counting a stack of textbooks and wrote a number down. “I do. Didn’t you already cover your shelves?”

“I did, but Shiro here could use some.”

She flapped a hand in invitation and they stepped inside. Shiro looked at the long swaths of colored paper taped across her shelves. Most pieces showed a life-sized outline of a body with colorful clothing labeled in Spanish.

“Sarah’s chair of world languages and we love her forever. She always does these big group projects and then saves them for the end of the year for just this purpose.”

“I thought you loved me because I throw a temper tantrum every spring to try and get you more ASL classes.”

“That too. Maybe next year they’ll listen.”

Each carrying a few loosely-rolled sheets of paper, they started toward Shiro’s room. Keith began rambling, “My position is currently funded through the EC department, not world languages, so they’ll only pay for enough classes to support the DHH kids. It’s always a feeding frenzy when the rest of the students try for the extra spaces. Sarah knows we could support a full slate of classes, and I really want to be in the classroom full time, but we haven’t been able to convince Central Office to spend the money yet. So I teach half the time and do classroom interpretation and student support the rest of the time.”

“How about your buddy?”

“Buddy?” Keith looked mystified.

“The other interpreter yesterday.”

“Oh! That’s Lance. Lance McClain. He’s one of the support staff for DHH.”

“He...gets into his work, I take it?”

Keith scowled as Shiro led him into his classroom. “He doesn’t pull that crap when he’s doing classroom interpretation, at least.”

“So his style is frowned upon?”

Keith sighed, unrolling the sheets of paper on a lab table. “It depends. There’s studies showing that interpreters tend to adjust how they work depending on their audiences. We tend to mouth what we’re communicating more when we have hearing people in the audience, for example. But when Lance gets in front of a large crowd like that...it’s like he’s performing. And that’s not our job. We’re there to assist communication, not put on a show.”

Shiro nodded, thinking about how easily distracted he had been from the remarks being made in favor of watching Lance’s expressions. “I see what you mean.”

Keith stayed to lend a hand as Shiro covered his shelves and insisted on helping carry the defrosted mini-fridge to his car. “Trust me, the football coaches actively search the school for any fridge not behind a locked door and co-opt it for their Gatorade supply. And then they don’t put them back. Keep it at your place. I’m pretty sure it was Mr. West’s before it was Ms. Caplan’s, so she won’t want it shipped to her.”

They walked back in. Shiro planned to take one more look at his room, check in with the department chair, and go home and binge some Netflix, but he was reluctant to part from Keith. As he tried to think of something to ask, debating between coffee or a drink, the office admin’s voice came over the PA system.

“Any teachers in the building, if you are available the counselors need help stuffing report cards for mailing. Please report to student services if you can help.”

Keith glanced at him. “Want to?”

“Sure.”

********************

One of the counselors set them up with stacks of report cards, transcripts, and pre-addressed envelopes, with envelope glue and a box to hold sealed envelopes. Shiro and Keith shared a table and began working through the sophomores, M-R. Keith had obviously helped out like this before and had a system, creasing folds with his thumbnail and swiping glue on the envelopes in two efficient strokes. Shiro did his best to copy him.

As they found their rhythm, they began chatting. Shiro learned that Keith had been riding motorcycles since he was eight years old, had a second-degree black belt in aikido, and lived alone with a pair of cats. He began learning sign language in his teens after a young cousin suffered hearing loss through meningitis. Shiro shared his own love of cats, his taste for the latest Netflix shows, and his dreams of being an astronaut until he exceeded the height limit in college. They compared other places they had taught: Shiro in a small town between their location and the coast, and Keith at the western campus of the state’s school for the deaf.

“I like it much better here. It’s counter-intuitive, but I love teaching ASL to a mixed population. The hearing kids are usually the ones who drive the ASL club and do outreach, because to them it’s more like a cool secret code than learning a language. And it’s just nice to be in a major metro area; I had to drive almost an hour south if I wanted anything that wasn’t a burger chain, pizza, or a mom-and-pop diner.”

Shiro nodded vigorously. “We had one non-Taco Bell Mexican restaurant in our town. That was it. No Indian, no Thai, no Greek...nothing.”

“Ooh, I haven’t had Indian in a while. I think the best one is Rasal’s, over on Western Boulevard. Have you been yet?”

Shiro shook his head.

“Want to go?”

Shiro froze, nearly dropping the bottle of glue, and felt his face grow hot. “I...um, sure. Yes. Absolutely.”

Keith nodded and fished his phone from his pocket. He unlocked it and opened a new contact before sliding it across to Shiro. “Drop your info in there. Would Friday work?”

Shiro tapped in his name and number. “Yeah, that’ll be great.” He slid the phone back, then playfully touched his fingers to his lips and brought his hand down in the sign for “thank you”, one of the few that he remembered.

Keith smiled and responded with his own gesture, spreading his fingers slightly and touching his thumb to his chest, then spelled S-H-I-R-O, his fingers almost flying.

Shiro felt a sudden urge to shove the table between them aside and pounce on him.

Keith’s near-violet eyes danced but his own cheeks were turning pink. He cleared his throat and picked up the next report card in his pile. “Race you? Loser buys?”

Shiro grinned. “You’re on.”

****************************************************************

Thanks for reading! Next chapter up...when I get it finished.