#shopkeep Reviews

[dragon--sage]

lmaoooo @ genitivi (rip) leaving the most bitter yelp review in the world for the imperium. it's not giving critiquing power structures here it's giving 'they're so mean to me there, customer service doesn't exist, the shopkeepers don't even SMILE'. because to be clear he's ragging on a city that looks like this:

police state though she may be, minrathous looks absolutely GORGEOUS?

how did tevinter hurt you, personally, genitivi?

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

Meig's Official Paleontologist Review of Amber Isle

This game is so accessible. I tend to use cheaters/trainers a lot in most video games because I'm a Busy Adult Without Countless Hours To Spend Grinding In Video Games - but I don't need them in Amber Isle. They also don't exist for Amber Isle, but still - I'm not wishing I had them the whole time. It's especially "ADHD time blindness" friendly

THE CHARACTERS ARE SO CUTE HOLY FUCK they all have such interesting and unique personalities and they are just so precious. I must protect Kipper at all costs.

Yes, you're a shopkeeper, but you don't have to be a raging capitalist. In fact, in many ways, it's better for the game to undercharge people / pay more for things they sell you / give lots of gifts in order to bump up your friendship with the community; it's very easy to get money in the game and you really don't need to be stingy or go for huge profits in order to win

I LOVE THAT THEY ARE CALLED "PALEOFOLK". Not a single character is called a dinosaur that isn't a dinosaur, unlike other paleo games *cough paleo pines cough*. And because they aren't limiting themselves to the Mesozoic, there's a nice interesting variety of prehistoric critters for the characters.

It's so much fun that your character is also a Paleofolk and that there's so many options. I wish we could wear pants, but other than that...

The taxon balancing needs a *wee* bit of work. Since they can do the Paleozoic and Cenozoic, it's ironically too dinosaur-heavy; and those dinosaurs are a little biased and don't include anything more derived than Archaeopteryx, which is... a mistake. I recognize the devs had a challenge in picking the right charismatic fauna, but still. Honestly, this problem is easily solved: just add more paleofolk!

That said it is so nice to have a game with Maiasaura :3

The world is beautiful and so much fun to explore

The calendar is way too long. WAY too long. Has anyone actually gotten to year 2? Because I haven't. Also it's windy too much. The weather should be more varied.

I would love for info about different objects to come up when you're going through them so it's easier to make sure the items you're displaying are balanced and so you know what to recommend for different customer requests

The main quest is a little short, so it would be nice for more content to be added to it in the future. I'd also love to be able to have more adventures and activities when hanging out with paleofolk

Once again, a game without romance. Hooray! No pansexual crises!

PEPPER x CLOVER FOR LIFE. L. I. F. E.

Definitely worth playing. It is super fun and super cute. Check it out at @ambertailgames!

My Paleo Pines Review

My Roots of Pacha Review

[avicinda]

A Guide to Faewish Sprite Jobs and Uniforms

I went around the Wishing Woods taking note of what colors corresponded to what jobs, as well as the ornaments on their hoods. This is mostly for personal reference so I know where to find specific types of sprites. Due to the nature of this post there are unavoidable spoilers from Chapter 6 and Chapter 7 of the main story.

In general, the uniforms work like this:

higher ranked (i.e. supervisors) or otherwise unique (i.e. shopkeepers, named NPCs) fairies have the long ribbon-like wings, as well as the large ornament on their hood related to their work

generic fairies within a job have the standard tiny wings but in the same color as their uniform and a small version of the corresponding ornament at the end of their hood

fairies also seem to be allowed to add accessories however they like, a few of my screenshots include some who are wearing extra accessories that are not part of their uniform

For simplicity I will be referring to the two types of uniforms as "supervisor" and "standard". I've also tried to be clear about what things here are my assumptions so hopefully I haven't accidentally missed being clear about anything that is.

I will also mention where I feel I am missing information. This post also does not include the unique jobs like Eltinada's or Dorobo's.

Before we start, for comparison, here are what the general, non-uniformed Faewish Sprites looks like:

This is VERY image heavy so I've put the main content under a cut.

Wish Pass Office

Color: black

Ornament: quill feather

Roles: customs, passport issuance

Every interviewer along the Cavern of Wishes uses the supervisor uniform, so presumably you have to be highly ranked to be an interviewer.

The standard Wish Pass fairies are only found along the road immediately after you enter the Wishing Woods. Their main role seems to be inspecting goods and taking inventory of items entering the Woods.

During Chigda's rule, they were instructed to reject all applications for a passport, giving them a fairly lax work environment for that time.

Given we can find Aventura in the Wishing Woods after Giroda is elected, Giroda presumably encouraged them to start earnestly reviewing applications again.

Wish Inspection Center

Color: pink

Ornament: pink heart with a white heart outlined in blue inside for the director, solid pink heart with a broken blue heart on top for bizarre orb supervisor, solid pink heart for everyone else

Roles: handles everything related to all kinds of Wishing Orbs, splits accordingly into departments for Delicious Orbs, Bizarre Orbs, and Desperation Orbs

Note that only Director Boboda has the two toned heart ornament.

The above are wish auditors, sorters, and inspectors found in the Wish Inspection Center. They are responsible for ensuring the Wishing Orb pipeline goes smoothly.

They sort wishes by listening to them and identifying the kind of wish from there, which is a natural ability to all Faewish Sprites. However, with the development of an amplifier by the Wishcraft Lab, they can now do this much faster, while also improving their accuracy.

It seems you have to pass a sorting accuracy test to join this office. The record is 99.9% accuracy, held by current Director Boboda who is also the youngest director in history.

Wishing Orb couriers/transporters also use the supervisor uniform (as seen in the cutscene where they take Afubo's doll).

There's also a unique ornament for supervisors of the Bizarre Orb Hills.

The Desperation Orb Warehouse presumably originally fell under the Wish Inspection Office as well, but was taken over by the Paladins under Chigda's orders. Currently, there are no uniformed supervisors from the Wish Inspection Office on-site.

Due to Wishing Orbs being the Faewish Sprites' primary source of nutrition, the Wish Inspection Center seems to be one of the two largest organizations.

Wish Celebration Center

Color: yellow

Ornament: yellow and orange striped cone hat with confetti ball at the end for supervisors, yellow and white striped cone hat OR a yellow puff ball for everyone else

Roles: coordinating the Coming-of-Age Ceremony, management of confetti cannons, making decorations and gifts, managing and preparing parents for the ceremony

One of the busier areas outside of the Grand Millewish Tree, the Wish Celebration Center is all about the Coming-of-Age Ceremony.

They work with the parents of baby sprites to assist both them and the babies for the ceremony, including helping them choose gifts for their baby and ensuring they have a name and clothes prepared. They provide ready made gifts like balloons and flowers.

They probably work closely with the dye station.

They're also in charge of the confetti cannons we use to launch Momo and Nikki.

Vikda is part of them, but has a unique outfit.

With how important the ceremony is to Faewish Sprite society in general, they are probably the other one of the two largest organizations.

Wishcraft Lab

Color: dark blue

Ornament: light bulb with a four pointed star inside

Roles: all kinds of research, Whimtech development and engineering, equipment maintenance, Wishing Orb study (i.e. studying the properties of Desperation Orbs, developing better methods to handle Bizarre Orbs), Desperation Syndrome study

These guys do a LOT of things and can be found in almost all the other offices as well, usually near equipment. They are in charge of Faewish technology, but also study things related to the mutated vines and Desperation Syndrome.

Many can also be found in the area around the Desperation Orb Warehouse.

Giroda has tasked them with upgrading the electrical system of the entire Wishing Woods within five years.

Research Institute

Since I was kind of confused by this initially, I'm giving this a subsection here. Created by Chigda and Avicinda as a separate office from the Wishcraft Lab, the Research Institute took budget and resources away from the Wishcraft Lab. Publicly, they were stated to be developing Whimtech weapons for the Paladins, but never actually produced anything. In reality, the Research Institute was a prison for human stylists kidnapped by the Paladins. Quick-Wish Bottles were also created here in the process of trying to create a second Aureum Vase.

After Chigda's defeat, fairies who had unwittingly joined the Research Institute have been absorbed into the Wishcraft Lab.

Quick-Flight Firefighters

Color: red

Ornament: splash of water

Roles: firefighting, preparing water balloons, emergency services

They're obviously found at the fire station in the residential area, where they have many water balloons prepared.

Fires were previously more common in the Wishing Woods when the confetti cannons were powered through ignition. Since the switch to compressed air, this doesn't happen as often anymore and the firefighters now mostly work as a general emergency service and also also help out other fairies where they can.

Wish Master's Paladins

Color: orange, may actually be brown

Ornament: feathered plume, supervisors additionally have a metal band with the four pointed star, captain gets a helm with the four pointed star

Roles: Faewish sprite military, bodyguards to the Wish Master, security guards, peacekeeping

Yes, Avicinda's outfit really is yellow compared to the orange/brown of the other Paladins.

Paladins carry wooden swords and use either Whim or some other natural Faewish magic to fight. Most of them can be found around the Grand Millewish Tree, naturally centered at their garrison, but also as guards in key entrances to the different areas of the tree. They are however, also found all over the Wishing Woods, either as guards or patrolling the area.

At the garrison there is also a trio of non-uniformed fairies doing exercises. I assume these are fresh recruits.

Under Chigda and Avicinda's control, they were exceptionally corrupt and abused their power against other Faewish Sprites while also regularly invading the Abandoned District. It would seem no Paladins other than Avicinda were aware of the true purposes of their work, being only given pieces of the truth here and there, just enough to keep them loyal and willing to abuse their power.

Giroda is presently working on reforming them into a better peacekeeping organization.

Temple of Wishes Library

Color: light green

Ornament: dark blue gemstone of some kind

Roles: maintaining the books in the archive, importing new books, Faewish education

As head librarian, Pokobo's coloration is more yellow-green than her colleagues'.

They seem to be far fewer in number compared to other groups.

Under Chigda's rule, the library was completely closed off to the public as part of his efforts to control history.

Giroda reinstated Pokobo after her firing and has allowed the lending of books. He's also allowed her to start importing new literature to improve Faewish Sprites' critical thinking and general education of the world beyond the Wishing Woods.

Delicious Wish Clinic

Color: standard blue

Ornament: bandage patch on side of hood

Roles: doctors, medical staff, treating Desperation Syndrome, assisting the dye station

We saw them in action when the mutated vines attacked the wishball field. Not much to say about them IMO, they're doctors and most of them are found in the clinic, which is one level above the residential area. Desperation Syndrome is their biggest concern but it's not as common as in the past due to the improvements to the Wish Inspection Center. Most of their work comes from young Faewish Sprites.

Interestingly, you can find a lot of them helping at the dye station.

Dye Station

Note: I'm unsure if there is an official name for this one

Color: light blue, close to cyan

Ornament: glimmergrass flower

Roles: conversion of glimmergrass into dyes, bottling and storage of dyes, management of dye inventory, several also work for Timis

There does not seem to be any of them with the supervisor outfit that I could find.

They are mostly found at the dye station, reachable via cannon to the right of the Temple of Wishes (I'm noting this because I always get lost trying to find them).

Most of Timis's Beauty Lab staff appear to also be from this group, so they also probably consist of a lot of designers or are more inclined to be interested in makeup due to the nature of their work.

The dyes are mostly used in preparation of clothes for baby Faewish Sprites for the Coming-of-Age Ceremony.

Medical staff can be found assisting them as well. Maybe because a lot of them left to work for Timis...?

Anglers

Note: there's no official name for this if they are a formal organization/group, so I am going by Gooeybo's shop "Angler's Catch"

Color: light(ish) blue

Ornament: fish fin

Roles: they are fishing!

As far as I could find, Gooeybo is the only angler with the supervisor style outfit, but does not seem to use the coloration.

A few can be found diving in the river beside the Beauty Lab's Waterwheel.

Gardeners or Farmers

Note: this is another one with no official name as far as I've seen and in fact it's not spelled out what they do, but based on the placement of these NPCs and what Bachada sells, I assume they are either of the above

Color: turquoise

Ornament: four pointed star flower with two green leaves for supervisor, two leaves for standard

Roles: appears to largely be in charge of cultivating plants like lampbloms and glimmerglass, harvests sol fruit and stellar fruit, presumably they are the ones who wrap Delicious Orbs in sol fruit leaves

Bachada seems to be the only one with this ornament and the supervisor outfit, but does not use the coloration. I feel like I've seen other NPCs with this ornament, but I'm having trouble finding them.

They can be found in several places, but notably some of them are working in Dorobo's kitchen overseeing the Delicious Orbs and other vegetables.

Ironically, I couldn't find any of them working in the farm that Timis rented.

Minigames

Color: dark orange

Ornament: standard minigame hat

Role: facilitating minigames

I just felt like I had to include them.

[beannoss]

with you, all in tangles (1)

3 times Yor blows kisses to Twilight and one time Twilight blows a kiss to Yor

For the @twiyorbase fluff fest! No content warnings, T-rating; manga spoilers. One chapter per day matching the daily prompts. Today's prompt: Blush. Title borrowed from Cut to the Feeling by Carly Rae Jepsen 💕 Part 2 (2) ->

It was their third mission together. Something easy, the Shopkeeper had said. For you. We'll see how your Twilight performs.

And Yor was… Yor was seeing.

Their first two missions has been in his world. Tonight's was in hers. Loid-Twilight was backup for her, for Thorn Princess.

He was performing very, very well.

She had always known he was kind and competent and handsome, of course. She'd known that she sort of, kind of, maybe a little bit had something of a crush on him. It's just that it hadn't mattered and hadn't meant anything because everything they were doing was false and anyway, there was nothing about Yor which might draw the attention of Dr Loid Forger in that way. And even if somehow there was, Yor didn't... she didn't like that she had so many lies between him and herself. She struggled enough with that as they were; it made her dizzy, imagining what those lies might do if, if they became — if they became more than —

Then that horrible night happened. Yor learned about Twilight. Twilight learned about Yor. And they both learned about Anya —

Days and days passed with lots of conversation and lots of discussing and lots of disagreeing quietly while pretending in front of Anya that everything was all right (unsuccessfully, because telepath) and being very honest in front of Anya that she had nothing to worry about (successfully, because it was true and also because telepath).

Then WISE contacted Garden and Garden agreed to meet with them, and the conversations became negotiations which included Loid's Handler and her Shopkeeper, and now they were here and doing missions together.

And Yor was being forcibly reminded that she'd never really stopped fancying Loid. Twilight. It had only become more confusing. And it was getting more confusing by the second, because he was incredibly talented. Of course she'd already known that but she hadn't know he was talented like this. And she'd never really thought about men's bodies before except for how to incapacitate or kill them or how to defend against their attacks, but she was thinking about Loid's body now, and how he moved and how he worked and how his hands were very clever and his shoulders a very nice shape and he had excellent foot work and precise muscle control and his waist —

"Thorn Princess?"

Yor bit her lip as her cheeks heated, something fluttery in her chest, in her stomach, and flicked her eyes back to his face. "Mhm?"

Twilight’s expression was mild but she knew that particular light in his eyes: he was frustrated. "I'm not sure how we'll get through,” he said. “WISE's intel must have been outdated; there are more of them than we expected."

"Oh." Yor looked around. They were on some sort of ledge, surrounded by bodies, most she had evidently taken down. She reviewed the assignment. If she wasn't mistaken, the primary client was actually immediately below them, and there ought to be a promenade under the ledge she could use to access his suite. She was confident she could deal with whatever security were physically in with the client, so… "Can you distract these people?"

"Of course," Twilight said. And he often looked unfazed and assured, but how had Yor never noticed how appealing that was before? Something stirred, fluttered, again in her belly. He went on, "But we still need to get two storeys down."

"Is it two floors? I thought his suite was directly below us."

Twilight inclined his head. "The suite has a high ceiling."

"Oh, that's no trouble. If you don't mind distracting these people, I'll finish the assignment."

After a beat where Twilight held her gaze, he asked, "You don't need backup down there?"

"No, but thank you!" Yor said cheerfully. She rolled to the edge of the ledge, and, protected behind a very ugly statue, she stood. There was no railing around the ledge which seemed like a safety risk — what if children ever came up here?! — but was useful for her needs. She stepped back, until her heels were right at the edge. "Don't worry about that!"

"I — if you're sure." He didn't sound doubtful, though Yor couldn't blame him for some hesitation. This wasn't the plan after all and she had long since learned that Loid liked plans! He didn't tend to mind them changing but she suspected he preferred it when he was the one changing them. Still, he was reloading his guns, and then pulling something from his backpack. He looked up at her from his crouch. "Thorn Princess. Yor. Are you sure you don't want backup?"

Butterflies took flight, fluttering sweetly in her in her belly, filling her chest. The way he asked it… As though... as though he cared. About her, about her answer, about what she needed to do her job. She beamed at him, and Twilight looked stunned for just a breath, pink appearing high on his cheeks, and —

And Yor blamed what happened next on the butterflies.

"You don't have to worry about me!" she called. Then she winked, blew him a kiss, and stepped backward off the ledge.

For the whole second it took to drop, her cheeks burning hot enough to heat all of Ostania, her mind was filled with a shriek, What was that?!

Then she landed, and gun shots sounded overhead, and Yor stood. She twirled her stilettos as the guards inside caught sight of her. The work began.

Part 2 (2) ->

[marzipanandminutiae]

could antiques dealers PLEASE stop assuming everyone who wants to buy a mechanical clock or an old sewing machine or any sort of Device only wants it for decorative purposes?

Does It Work should be a question you're able to accurately answer before you put an old machine out on the floor

(this post brought to you by: I bought an antique clock as a Christmas gift to myself and my parents just took it to the Clock Guy for me. it was advertised as working, and did indeed tick when wound, but WAY too fast.)

(turns out it has no pendulum. there's literally no way to know if it's actually working or not- apparently ticking when wound means nothing in terms of functionality without a pendulum)

(not only was this not disclosed, but the shopkeeper wouldn't even let me take the clock out of the CASE until I bought it. let alone open the back and see what the situation was. it's possible they hadn't even opened the back when they bought it, and didn't know it was missing a crucial piece)

(it said "working" and had a key, and you don't assume the worst of every antiques dealer you meet, so I trusted them. I'm tempted to leave a negative review even though I love the clock- I factored in repairs when I budgeted to buy it, so that's fine, but what if I hadn't? I'd have a very expensive 25-pound paperweight when I expected a working timepiece)

[my-my-my]

KINKTOBER DAY 4 - Aphrodisiacs: Mayuri Kurotsuchi x Gender Neutral Reader

Summary: Captain Kurotsuchi needs bodies for his new inventions, and a random old shopkeeper in District 53 has clients to serve. Distribution of illicit drugs seems to transcend the World of the Living, with shinigami and regular souls alike, flocking to the market, but how does Captain Kurotsuchi test his products in the first place?

TW: MDNI! Abuse of power, Mayuri having no sense of ethical obligations as a researcher, what I think drug dealing/trafficking would look like in Soul Society, fictional recreational drugs, dubious consent, fondling, non-consensual drug use.

Word count: 2516

Read on AO3 here.

 “Kurotsuchi-san, thank you for the products last month. It was quite the hit with my customers.” The elderly woman prattled on as she hobbled around her store. Dried plants, herbs and bottles containing questionable liquid filled every nook and cranny of the shop.

“Did any of them report side-effects?” He asked, inspecting her wares, taking fistfuls of items into his haori’s pockets. He continued to rummage through the store, as the old lady watched in amusement.

“Aside from what you told me before hand, no, none did. They remarked they all felt refreshed.” To which Mayuri looked at her, then immediately grabbed something off the shelf behind her. “If you could make that batch again, it will be hit. I can find the ingredients that you need.”

“You will sell what I make.” Mayuri sneered, looking down at the old woman, “I don’t take orders.” But he continued to take things off her shelves.

The woman laughed, “yes, yes. Of course.” She walked over to where she kept her money and pulled out a small, yet heavy pouch, “this was the share from last month.” Mayuri held the pouch in his hand, opening it up and nodding at the money inside. “And of course, everything is on the house for you.” She smiled as he walked out of her store without as much as a goodbye.

Mayuri reviewed the notes he made about the different products he invented under the guise of “research” for the Gotei 13. A few members across the 13 squads knew of his backdoor research, but none dared to report him to the Head Captain.

For all intents and purposes, the Head Captain believed that Mayuri was conducting research for the betterment of Soul Society…

And it just so happens that some of his products fit in line with that thinking.

Technologies, therapies, interventions, Mayuri has done it all, but only a few of them ever see the light of day. Which is how he aligned himself with the herbalist on the outskirts of Rukongai District 53. She would distribute his products to the masses that travelled through her shop, and he would have a willing patient population to test his inventions. They would both profit off the success.

Last month’s product was some type of pain-relief liquid. This month he wanted to try something different.

Taking out all the items he had taken from the woman’s shop, Mayuri inspected each item carefully. Nemu and Akon approached him but left immediately as he shrieked at them to leave.

He trusted Nemu and Akon more than any of the other seated members of his squad, but this process was for him alone. No one was to interrupt him. And so, Mayuri continued his inspection, scrapping off bits of each item, suspending liquids in other liquids. He analyzed and tested different formulas, noting down each one.

Hours had passed, then days, and later weeks. Mayuri would only leave his lab if “the idiots” needed him for something. To which Nemu and Akon translated it as “anyone” outside the two of them that needed his attention.

But at last, his product was complete. Now he needed test subjects.

Mayuri walked along the corridors of the Shinigami Research and Development Institute, disregarding all the fuss and commotion they brought when they noticed him around. He paid no attention to them; they weren’t the test subjects he was looking for.

Instead he made his way to the connected, yet distinct, Squad 12 barracks. Not all his members were involved in the SRDI’s mandate, nor did he want them too, “that would be too boring.” He coldly explained the other captains, not knowing he just wanted soldiers to experiment on that weren’t working in the SRDI as well. That would make things complicated if an invention of his backfired.

You on the other hand, didn’t notice your captain immediately, as you were preoccupied bringing in large manuals of some chemicals for the institute. You dropped the heavy load when you heard Captain Kurotsuchi shriek your name.

Turning around, you bowed your head immediately to the man, “good morning, Captain!” You yelled. You didn’t want to admit it to you friends in other squads, but your own captain terrified you.

“What are your duties today?” Mayuri asked, peering at you as you remained bowed to him.

“I’m delivering these manuals to Lieutenant Akon, then picking up chemicals for Hiyosu, sir!” You answered, anxiety crawling through your body as you felt Captain Kurotsuchi stare at you intensely.

“Deliver these to Akon, then meet me in my lab, immediately. Ignore Hiyosu’s request.” “Yes, sir!” You yelled, watching him walk away, while you struggled to carry the manuals to Akon.

You fidgeted in front of the heavy, locked door to the captain’s personal lab. You weren’t sure if you should knock, announce yourself, or maybe the captain had a secret camera somewhere and didn’t see you there.

But without warning, the door immediately jolted open, scaring you. But you pushed through your fear and entered the lab.

There were numerous devices thrown around, with open bottles, of what you assumed were chemicals, covering several tables and lab benches. The lab smelt bizarre, but it wasn’t necessarily off-putting, yet it wasn’t sterile like you imagined it to be.

You saw Captain Kurotsuchi type something away, scoffing and typing faster. He glanced at you and then resumed typing. You stood there, waiting for him, as he continued to type. You tried to stifle a yawn as you looked around the lab again, “Sir, how long do I have to wait? Lieutenant Akon gave me some additional duties to attend to.” You politely asked.

“And when does Akon’s orders supersede mine?” Mayuri coldly said, the atmosphere of the room getting chilly as your anxiety was going into overtime.

“It doesn’t! I just wanted to be mindful, that’s all.” You nervously explained. You noticed you were sweating and tried to calm yourself.

“Are you nervous?” Captain Kurotsuchi asked, as he moved away from his computer. He stared at you intensely, his golden eyes scanning over your body, as if he was dissecting you.

“No! I’m not.” You lied, hoping your voice came across as confident.

The captain grabbed your hand and forced your wrist open, shoving an innocuous blue pill into your palm. “Take this, it’ll help with the sweat.”

You wanted to die. Your captain noticed you profusely sweating and commented on it. You stared at the pill, your hand slightly shaking, while anxiety filled you up again. Your gut began to turn as you brought the pill to your lips. A part of you doubted the pill would do anything but calm you down.

“Well on with it!” Captain Kurotsuchi yelled, “you said you didn’t have all day!”

“Y-Yes sir!” You stuttered, shoving the pill into your mouth. You struggled to swallow it, noticing your mouth was incredibly dry, but managed to get it down.

It was then Captain Kurotsuchi pushed you on to a chair, and wrist and ankle shackles were thrust on to you. “S-sir?” You asked, eyes bulging. Your anxiety was rampant. “What is this for?”

“It’s a test.” Captain Kurotsuchi said, watching you.

A test?! Your mind screamed. “Why am I being tested?” You pleaded, shaking in your seat.

Captain Kurotsuchi rolled his eyes, “not a test for you, fool. A test for the medication.”

“But you said it would help with my nerves!” You panicked, shaking even harder in your seat.

“In theory, yes, but it hasn’t been tested until now.” You began to hyperventilate at what you were hearing. Until… your brain felt like everything was going by slowly.

Huh? What’s going on? It was as if your anxiety melted away and you were faced with something… pleasant? You stared at your captain but were unable to say anything.

You heard him say something, you saw his lips move, but you weren’t processing what was said.

Captain Kurotsuchi approached you and inspected your body. He poked your face, prodded your chest and flicked your wrists. He took samples of your blood and saliva, while checking your dilated eyes.

Little did he realize; his touch was doing something to you.

You sighed, happily, “sir that feels so good” as you leaned into your seat. Your body felt sensitive, but not in pain. You didn’t notice the vials of blood he had taken from you already.

The captain looked at you in curiosity, and this time undid a portion of your uniform, leaving your chest bare. Another blissful sigh escaped your lips as Captain Kurotsuchi lightly touched your chest.

“Does this feel good?” The captain asked, grabbing your face. You grinned and nodded your head.

“It feels really good.” You mumbled, drool dribbling down your lips. You felt the familiar pangs of arousal flaring across your body, causing you to squirm.

Captain Kurotsuchi stepped back and watched you writhe, taking note of all the physical symptoms you were displaying. “What else do you feel right now?” He asked, staring at you.

But you didn’t respond, eyes glazed over as your hips moved within the confines of the seat. The motion you made felt good, too good you thought, and you needed more of that.

And so you proceeded to rock your hips back and forth, the friction from the seat rubbing against your growing arousal. You moaned loudly and threw your head back and continued on, your hips moving faster as you orgasm came closer. Captain Kurotsuchi sighed, approaching you once more. He slapped your face, to which you gave another loud moan. Your pace didn’t slack

You saw the captain’s lips move and felt something bind and secure your hips. You whined at the sudden loss; you were so close! Until you felt the cold hand of your captain down your pants. Your legs were already spread apart from the ankle shackles, leaving Captain Kurotsuchi with easy access. You groaned again as you felt him touch you.

Captain Kurotsuchi’s touch was merciless though, as he aggressively touched you, feeling your arousal spread against his fingers and in your pants. You then realized you didn’t feel the hip bindings anymore, and let your hips slam up and down the seat, his hand still touching you vigorously.

You bit your lip, and wondered if you tasted blood? You couldn’t tell, but everything felt amazing, yet surreal. It was then you felt the captain push his palm against you, rubbing more vigorously than before. The intensity was too much to bear, and you cried, your orgasm ripping through.

A scream erupted in the lab and Mayuri watched you slump into the seat, unconscious.

Captain Kurotsuchi removed his hand from your pants, inspecting the remnants of your arousal covering his fingers and palm. He pulled your hair, forcing your head up to his level, but you were out cold. He slapped your face again, but no response.

He scoffed at you, rubbing his hands on your uniform as if to clean them. Not satisfied, he washed his hands in the nearby sink. He watched you in the corner of his eye to track how long it would take you to wake up. Once he was clean, he undid the shackles and left you in your seat.

He proceeded to type away today’s event in his product diary. Roughly two hours had passed, and you awoke, which he noted. Your clothes were still on your body, albeit barely, but before you could register what just happened, the captain handed you another pill and you forgot what had even happened.

“I’m sorry about that Captain Kurotsuchi. Did you need me for something?” You asked, confused as to why you were sitting in a seat, and he was staring at you intensely.

“How’s your anxiety?” He asked, his eyes focusing on you.

My anxiety? You thought, “well, I don’t feel anxious right now.”

“Anything else?”

“Um…” you hesitated, trying to think, “my body feels relaxed, like I got a massage?” You tried to explain.

“Nothing else?”

“Not really. I feel fine.” You remarked, checking your body. You remembered taking a pill, then waking up.

“The pill you gave me…” you asked, as you fidgeted in your seat, “does it make you fall asleep after?”

“Yes.” Captain Kurotsuchi lied. “Now get out. You’re done here for the day.” He turned around and went back to his computer, typing away once again.

“Yes, sir!” You squealed, bolting out of his lab. “These soldiers today are a bunch of noisy imbeciles.” Mayuri muttered under his breath, as his lab doors shut close once again.

It was a rare moment to have a day off from your squad duties. Months had passed since the incident with Captain Kurotsuchi, and the memories of it fading from your mind. But you remained grateful to not have done any further direct work for him. Your friends, from other squads, had decided to visit District 53, as they heard rumours of an herbalist with unique concoctions that would heal the body, mind and soul. One of your friends admitted they were struggling with some intimacy issues and Squad 4’s treatment options weren’t working. Your friend had heard that this herbalist would have something to cure that.

You and your friends browsed through the shop, taking stock of what was there, when your friend spoke to the shopkeeper. Although they were quiet, you could hear whispers of “trouble” and “hard to orgasm.” The old lady smiled at them, “I have just the remedy for that, my dear.” You went over and saw her pack in a small bottle of familiar blue pills.

“I’ve had these before!” You exclaimed, “they work wonders. I felt amazing afterwards.”

Your friend stared at you in shock, but the shopkeeper gave you a wide grin, “is that so? I’ve been selling them for a while now.” The old lady rambled, “they’re quite popular with you Shinigami folk.” She cackled, packing the bottle into a pouch. “I’ll pass that along to the creator” she kept laughing, “I’m sure he’ll be ecstatic.”

“When did you take these?” Your friend asked, “you never mentioned it.”

You thought about it, but you couldn’t remember when exactly, but the vivid colour of the pill was seared in your memory, as well as the pleasant association you had with it. “I’m not sure, but I think I took it when I had a really bad anxiety spell. I don’t even remember where I got it from.” You said, trying to recall when and where you took it.

But nothing came up, and strangely enough, you couldn’t recall an blanks or gaps in your memory.

“Or maybe I dreamt it.” You laughed, “I can’t even describe the feeling anymore, I just remember feeling good when I took it.”

“Well if it’s good enough for you, then I’m sure I’ll be fine.” Your friend joked, paying the shopkeeper. Soon night was approaching, and you escorted your friend back to their barracks. Once you made it to the Squad 12 barracks, you made a mental note to ask Captain Kurotsuchi if he knew about the little blue pill.

Thanks for reading!! Mayuri is definitely an interesting character to write for, so I'm not completely sure I nailed it. Either way, I hope you guys enjoy it!

[aspiringtrashpanda]

Satan "knows a guy" for everything. I love how social Satan is. I feel like we don't talk about it enough.

Find the prompt list HERE.

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

DAY 7 Prompt: Satan

It was a warm day in the Devildom. Not uncomfortably warm to the degree where peeling off your skin would be the only way to seek relief – No, it was only that warm in the desert region to the south, or in the steaming waters of Asmodeus’s bathtub – but warm enough that you could comfortably stroll from store to store in a shirt without requiring a sweater. 

“It is a nice day out,” Satan observed, though you weren’t sure if he was speaking to himself or expecting an answer from you. 

Apparently, you guessed wrong when you assumed the former. Curiosity tangoed with amusement in his sea green eyes, peering at you as you took slightly longer strides than usual to keep up with his brisk pace. “Is that why you wanted to accompany me?” 

“No.” You shook your head, tugging open the door to Hell’s Supermarket and grinning at him with all your teeth. He thanked you, a slightly bewildered expression lancing across his face as he entered the store before you. He probably hadn’t anticipated such a direct response. 

“Ah! Satan! Good afternoon,” A fresh faced demon waved from where she leaned over the death deli counter. “Your turn to buy the groceries?”

“Yes.” With a charming smile that squinted his eyes into crescent moons, Satan offered a playful, “I’m lucky I wasn’t the one on grocery duty yesterday.”

You grabbed a basket, and started surveying the meat that the demon had available. Though you pretended to be very occupied choosing between smoked basilisk and oven-roasted black tapir, you eavesdropped on the easy volley of conversation between the store clerk and the Avatar of Wrath. 

“Oh, yes. The rain was just awful.” She frowned, “Your brother made quite a fuss when he stormed in here.”

Satan laughed sheepishly, “Well, that’s Mammon’s fault for failing to check the forecast.” 

The demon giggled, glancing towards you for a brief moment before concluding, “Sure, but I’m certainly happy to see you in his place. What can I get the two of you today?”  

“Why are you smiling?” Satan asked as you both exited the store, two shopping bags in his grasp. 

“No reason.” You chirped, unable to hide the giddy bubble swelling in your chest. A lie would have to suffice. “If I close my eyes, the moonlight is almost as bright as the sun.” 

And you did just that, allowing the affection thrumming throughout your body to spill over into a silly display of closing your eyes and craning your face towards the moon. You heard Satan click his tongue, though you know it was less a sound of irritation, and more a warning to the many demons passing by to watch out for your blind steps. 

Despite the beautiful weather, the downtown strip wasn’t overwhelmingly busy. Merchants seemed to be taking advantage of the quiet afternoon, tidying the front of their stores or preparing new window displays. Even the patio of Hell’s Kitchen was rather empty, with only a handful of patrons munching on a burger and sipping a glass of demonus.

“Are you homesick?” Satan asked, sometime after he had used a book he thought would interest the shopkeeper at Demoning to negotiate a deal on tea leaves, and sometime before making plans to visit the theater with the piano technician at the music store. You had stopped there to purchase a new metronome, as the old one had mysteriously disappeared (Mammon had probably sold it), but you weren’t bothered in the slightest by the employee's fifteen minute review of the visiting symphony. Frankly, Satan committing to plans with someone outside of the House of Lamentation delighted you greatly. 

“Nah.” This time, it wasn’t a lie. 

His steps paused. His emerald eyes swept over you, his brow slightly creased as he tried to see into your soul. You weren’t sure what he surmised from your body language, but he came to some sort of conclusion, as he turned on his heel. “Wait here for a moment.”

You watched as his mop of golden hair retreated across the street, to the bored popcorn vendor lingering outside of Café Lament. It was entertaining, the way he moved with such alert grace. You could practically picture fluffy ears flicking this way and that atop his head. 

He did possess a sort of feline quality, in his movements, in his behavior. He managed to hold a conversation while being more observant than the average demon about his surroundings. The entire time the vendor filled his order, he made small talk that seemed genuine despite his attention remaining on you. You could feel it. 

Satan returned with popcorn, movie theater yellow and wrapped up in a commercial striped bucket. “It’s simple butter and salt. I figured you may want a snack that reminds you of home. The vendor also had an extra coffee from Café Lament, and he was nice enough to offer it to me.” 

You accepted the gift, regardless of the meaning. If it comforted Satan to think that he had cheered you up by buying you a snack, then you would let it be. In reality, simply existing in his space was what had encouraged you to accompany him from the start. His company was quiet, honest, and steady. 

You knocked your popcorn carton against his coffee cup.

You had a feeling many others appreciated his company, too. 

Well, except for the jackass who slammed right into Satan’s chest. The demon’s face had been buried in his D.D.D. It was now dripping with premium hell coffee.

You flinched, gasped, braced yourself for the inevitable blow up. Satan’s hand – the one that wasn’t drenched in spilt coffee – clamped onto the demon’s bicep, steered him off to the side of the street. Should you look away? It was probably best to avoid witnessing a murder.

But then, the demon was walking away, completely unscathed, and Satan was returning to your side with only a mildly perturbed expression. 

“You aren’t upset?” You asked, eyeing the bright skin of his index finger where the hot coffee had gushed over his skin. 

“Hm?” He didn’t seem to understand why you would even ask. “No. Why would I be? It was an honest mistake.”

It was as if the record had skipped and you were stuck in this moment where only the audience understood the irony of the situation. You filled him in. “Lucifer did the same thing when he was half-asleep two weeks ago and you summoned hellfire to burn his phonograph to smithereens.”

“Well,” Satan laughed, loud and brash. “That was personal.” 

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──

OBEY ME! MONTH MASTERLIST

[tokiro07]

Ichi the Witch ch.4 thoughts

[Eight-Foot Vertical Leap?!]

(Contents: narrative structure - worldbuilding, character analysis - Ichi/Desscaras/Kumugi, thematic analysis - Joy/Friendship)

Maybe it's because this is the fourth series I've written weekly reviews for, but I'm really seeing the legwork going into these early chapters

I don't really want to get to the point where I'm beating a dead horse, but I feel like keeping track of this will somehow be beneficial to me in the long run

Chapter 1 - establishes the premise (high concept, basic setting, core cast and themes)

Establishes the cast's personalities and dynamics

Establishes the flow of the series

Begins actual worldbuilding

I don't know if it's just because I haven't paid a ton of attention previously, but the fact that I'm able to so clearly see the functional layout of the storytelling so far makes me feel like this series in particular might end up being a masterclass in basic story structure. I suppose we'll have to see how it continues to develop in the coming weeks, but I wouldn't be surprised if next week and the week after introduce the primary goal and primary antagonist, though maybe that would be too structured?

Of course, it's entirely possible that next week will just be more worldbuilding for a bit, since we're most likely going to get a closer look at the Witches Association, but I have to figure we're going to need to establish a goal soon on account of Ichi being some kind of aberration that captured the ostensible most power Magik in all the land. I'm envisioning something like Gojo offering Yuji a stay of execution in JJK, though I don't know if Ichi is going to be considered a criminal

For now, though, let's focus on the glimpse into the worldbuilding we did get

Worldbuilding

First and foremost, the disparity in magic availability is pretty stark. As Desscaras points out, you aren't likely to see a lot of magic users out in the sticks, and those that you do see seem to get whisked away to the capital for training (as we saw in ch.1). Meanwhlie, magic is extremely common in the capital, to the point that basically every shopkeeper on the street seems to be using or selling magic

I don't know if that's going to become a major recurring theme, but I think that kind of inequity is something we should keep an eye out for. Series like Black Clover touch on it with the literal tiered structure of the Clover Kingdom, but as far as I recall it was never a major point of contention in their society, so I'd definitely like it if Nishi gives it a bit of attention

The fact that there's a clear divide between genders suggests that social inequity is already on Nishi's mind, so economics would probably be a good way to expand on the concept from a different angle. I do believe she's considered it, since the literal first thing she brings up in this worldbuilding expo is the tourism market, a concept I definitely didn't expect to see in a fantasy series like this

While I don't really know enough about the history of tourism to dispute how old the practice is, Nishi definitely seems to be going out of her way to establish that this world is a little more advanced than ch.1 would make you think with the inclusion of a flying motor scooter. It kind of feels like how Naruto inexplicably had TVs or HxH suddenly revealed it had the internet, but this at least happened quickly enough that it's not too jarring

There's also the fact that it's all magic anyway, so nothing really feels too far outside of the realm of possibility; Desscaras had apparently received a ton of messages on her magic mirror in ch.2, so obviously that was meant to be a stand-in for a phone

Magic System

Speaking of magic, this chapter does seem to confirm a suspicion that I've had since ch.2: not all magic comes from the Magiks

In ch.2, Desscaras was able to create and dispel a cage without seeming to use a chant; at the time I figured the dispelling didn't require it and the casting happened off-screen, so I didn't pay it much mind. Then in ch.3, she not only cast a silencing spell on Ichi without a chant, she also mentioned putting magical power into the ropes they used on Raiko

Now in this chapter, the saleswoman mentions charging the magic boots with magic power; in other words, the basis of this magic system isn't just the Magiks, but magic power, an energy source that women seem to either possess or have access to. This would explain why it's so special that Ichi was able to use Uroro even though logically any man should have been to pass his trial - men literally aren't supposed to be able to access magic power at all, even to use basic, non-Magik spells

Brief aside, I really hope that any visually impaired readers are able to hear the difference between magic and Magik in their text-to-speech readers, cus otherwise this series is going to be kind of annoying

Anyway, it's not just a lack of compatibility between men and Magik, it's basically like men lack an organ that would allow them to channel magic power. While it does make a bit more sense, I am sad that it suggests that the line "in this world, magic is alive" isn't entirely accurate. If there are spells that can be cast without passing a Magiks trial, then that kind of cuts into the uniqueness of the power system a bit, though again we'll need to wait and see how it develops

Along with dropping more hints about the magic system, this chapter also drops more hints about what kind of person Ichi is and how he fits into this world

Boy Meets World

It was lightly touched on in ch.1 with Ichi hunting the Flower Field Guardian for the villagers, but Ichi seems to like helping people. I kind of thought he did the hunt for the sake of it and the gratitude of the people was just a nice bonus, but seeing him go out of his way to help a complete stranger even at the risk of exposing his secret drives home that he enjoys being kind just as much as going on a good hunt

The little detail of him leaving his knife as collateral for the magic boots also solidifies that he has a pretty strict moral code; he won't murder, he won't steal, he won't abandon someone in need, and he won't make up excuses either. He could have swiped the boots and said "it was an emergency, I was planning to return them afterwards," but instead he took the time to write a note and leave behind something of value to prove his intent rather than leaving without explanation expecting the end to justify the means

Of course, he's still pretty naive; it's silly for him to assume that the shopkeepers place the same value on his ordinary hunting knife as he does and that it would be equivalent to specially crafted magical boots, and his logic that he didn't use magic since he didn't cast any spells is patently incorrect. Any dolt who sees a man using a magic item is going to piece together that he's the Manwitch that people are talking about, because even something as basic as that is still a fundamental impossibility in this setting

But that naivete is an important bit of development for us to understand and become endeared to Ichi's character. He was a little goofy in ch.1, and we got hints in both chs.1 and 3 that he's a bit crazy, but this chapter expands on what I believe is the most important element of not only his character, but any good protagonist: his ability to enjoy himself

Joy to the World

Previously, hunting was the only thing that we knew Ichi cared about, and his newfound ability to use magic simply allowed him to hunt new prey that he wouldn't be able to otherwise. However, the presence of magic was no more than a facilitator, an excuse to bring him into this world of monsters and witches, but he himself had no clear interest in it

With this chapter, though, Ichi's opinion on magic is firmly established: it's fun. I don't know how it compares to hunting, and obviously those two passions are just going to overlap, but an explicit interest in the subject matter will make the inevitable training arcs to come something Ichi will actively want to participate in rather than a chore

More importantly, though, because we're looking at this world through Ichi's eyes, his fascination with magic is our fascination with magic. Ichi and I now care equally about the potential of this magic system, and I can now trust that he will go out of his way to explore it in a way that I want him to. If Ichi couldn't be bothered to care about the magic, then why should I be expected to?

This approach of synchronizing the interests of the cast with the interests of the audience is something that I've definitely noticed in a lot of other manga as well: Luffy's thirst for adventure, Fuuko's genuine love for all of the other Negators, Iroha's knack for puzzle-solving, Asumi's immersion in MMA techniques, all of these are great examples of the author showing the audience what joys their world has to offer to the audience

A long time ago, I once posited that along with Jump's values of Friendship, Effort and Victory there was a fourth, unspoken value. At the time, I thought it was Dreams, but I've since realized that the attainment of a Dream is Victory. Nowadays, with the unbridled mirth I've seen from Jump's protagonists across the last several years, I've realized that that fourth value can be nothing other than Joy. Victory without Joy is hollow. Effort without Joy is suffering. Friendship without Joy is transactional. None of the others stand without Joy, and yet Joy itself stands alone just fine - Joy can be found anywhere, as it can be created from within those who need it wherever they may be

Media naturally has plenty of room for morose, pessimistic and overall nasty protagonists, so of course not every Jump manga is going to prioritize Joy, but not every Jump manga prioritizes Friendship, Effort or Victory either. This early in the game, I don't even think I can say which one Nishi intends to focus on just yet, but I can say for sure that she wants Joy to be a major element going forward, and that honestly makes me more excited than any promise of cool monster designs or an intricate power system ever could

That said, if I had to guess, of the three main values, I'd say that Ichi the Witch is most likely to prove itself to be a Friendship series based on what we've seen already

You've Got a Friend In Me

Not only is it extremely likely that Uroro's arc is going to see him actually form a bond with Ichi, but Ichi's moment of sparkly-eyed delight with magic even seems to be endearing him to Desscaras as well. It was brief, quickly replaced with her usual sneer and penchant to evade responsibility, but something definitely stirred within her in that moment. A memory? A long-lost emotion? Hope? Whatever it was, Desscaras' opinion of Ichi is slowly but surely changing, and by the end she's definitely going to cherish this crude little monkey boy she found in the middle of the woods

Along with the subtle developments of our established cast, though, we also finally got our first new addition since ch.1! Kumugi's introduction was much too detailed for a throw-away character, and her presence for Ichi and Desscaras' crash landing in front of Monegold puts her in the perfect position to be dragged along for the ride (perfectly in accordance with her established fail-girl status)

I've already suggested that Desscaras won't be a consistently present party member since she's the mentor archetype, so Kumugi offers to fill the void she'll leave by going in the near opposite direction. While Desscaras is the strongest and most skilled Witch in the land, Kumugi is a Cadet who seems to have nothing going for her; no luck, no respect, and likely no notable capability. Both serve as excellent foils to Ichi, a bright-eyed, one-in-a-million talent without an ounce of experience in this world who as of yet hasn't uttered a single word of complaint about anything. Hell, the guy literally got crapped on in ch.1 and he just laughed it off, whereas Desscaras' would no doubt blow a gasket and Kumugi would likely faint in shock

I don't know how big this cast is going to get or if the core cast will be consistent or on rotation, but the three friends we've already gotten for Ichi all already provide such clear paths for how their relationships can and likely will develop that I can't help but feel like those relationships will be Nishi's main priority. Not that I don't see how she could pivot to Effort (the hunt) or Victory (the trophy), but the mere fact that the actual hunt for Raiko actually happened off-screen and was only expanded upon after it was complete suggests that the process and result are less important than the people present

I don't envision Kumugi as a romantic interest just yet, but I do anticipate her anxieties and negativity being strongly impacted by Ichi's spontaneity and optimism. His personality sets him up to drag her into big and unexpected trouble, and those experiences will likely help her come to grips with her own internal struggles. If I'm right, then Ichi is likely to have a flat character arc, wherein he's the one teaching everyone else the right way to be rather than learning from people who have already found their answers

This is more or less what I predicted in ch.2 when I suggested that Ichi would fundamentally change the way that Witches approach Magiks, but now focused on a more interpersonal level than a strictly narrative one

What's particularly interesting about Ichi though is that it doesn't seem likely that he'll have a completely flat arc, since he seems so open to new experiences and ways of thinking. He's strong-willed, but the new experiences he gains will certainly begin to change his perspective and values. Like I said, his personality is likely to get him and Kumugi into trouble, but on the flip side, Kumugi's apprehension is likely to help her get herself and Ichi out of trouble at some point or another, allowing the two to meet in the middle rather than just dragging each other kicking and screaming into their way of life

As usual, I may be getting ahead of myself, but if things go the way I expect them to, I want to be able to look back and see at what points the puzzle pieces clicked into place for me. And if I'm wrong, I'd like to have a record of how I came to those conclusions so I can compare and contrast my expectations with reality more effectively

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

[drconstellation]

The Altar of Eccles Cakes

(updated 21 Oct 2023, for Grain Offerings example) (updated 21 Nov 2023, for link to First Temptation)

The mysterious plate of Eccles cakes. Are they really to "calm people down?' And why do they just ...disappear? They must be there for a reason?

Yes, they certainly are. They are just the first course of a fascinating meal on offer in S2.

So far, most of the meta around the Eccles cakes has focused on the meaning of their name. Eccles is an old name for church. We could view it as Aziraphale trying to calm Crowley down. They are also known as "squashed fly cakes." The white outside and the black inside could be seen as a metaphor relating to Gabriel. Or it hints at the Roger the Stunt Fly, that contain Gabriel's memories, flying around the book shop, who's purpose we don't find out about until the end. There is even a link to the 1650 Sorry Dance that Aziraphale mentioned, in that were banned by Oliver Cromwell for being pagan! (Did I get that right? I've not kept the post link.)

[Edit: They also represent the First Temptation as Jesus fasts in the wilderness for 40 days before the Entry into Jerusalem at the start of the Passion narratives, where bread was made from stones.]

Take another look at the blocking in this shot. The dark horse statue, representing Crowley - even wearing his sunglasses! - has the placating plate of Eccles cakes placed before it, in supplication. Yeah, it didn't work this time, but it's the thought that counts. What we have here is Aziraphale making an Sin offering to the altar of Crowley, to ask for atonement in advance for what he has done (taking Gabriel in.)

Once you frame it in that reference, you realize its not the only altar offering made during S2. It also adds a bit more depth to some of the other scenes, where they have all been mentioned already in some way, but it certainly helps to explain the Eccles cakes!

Firstly, we need to mention the main types of altar offering that are made:

Burnt offerings - for general atonement of sins and for expression of devotion to God. It could be a bull, a ram, goat, or a bird in the form of a dove or pigeon. Such as this magnificent example in the Job minisode.

Aziraphale certainly devoted himself to the sin of gluttony on that occasion. (hang on, that didn't come out the right way, did it...?) But he was still devoted to God, despite his nocturnal conversation with Crowley while they waited out the storm in the cellar.

Grain offerings - a voluntary expression of devotion to God. This was grain prepared in different way, but always seasoned, unsweetened and unleavened. Recall at Gomorrah Lot offered to prepare the visiting angels unleavened bread as part of a meal.

Originally when I wrote this post I didn't think I had any Grain offering examples, but a few days later as I was writing my post on The Ineffable Ducks I realized where the missing S2 Grain offering was - in S2E1, when Crowley yells at the Azerbaijani spies in St James Park. The ducks are usually offered bread, which is leavened with yeast, so technically not quite correct, but when you review all the instances of feeding the ducks crumbs or bread crumbs it certainly fits. Unless you are Crowley, and you'd rather have the current state of quiet "frozen peas" between Heaven and Hell. See my Ineffable Ducks post for an elaboration.

Peace offering - This could be cattle, sheep or goat without defect, but the main purpose to was consecrate a meal between two or more parties before God and share that meal in a fellowship of peace and commitment to each other's future prosperity.

You know where we see one of these? At the eldritch ball!

I did see a nice meta about the vol-au-vents recently, mainly about their name, but I don't seem to have saved it, and can't find it again. They are usually filled with chicken (a bird) and the eldritch ball is ostensibly the shopkeepers monthly meeting, after all, where they are there to talk about their mutual prosperity in the future. Just so happens its also an opportunity for Aziraphale to talk to Crowley about their future...oh, and Nina and Maggie's, as well, of course!

Sin offering - atonement or unintentional sin. It would have the elements of a Burnt offering, as well as a Peace offering, but not be shared. These are what the plate of Eccles cakes are, so they were never meant to be eaten. They were an olive branch to Crowley regarding Gabriel, but he turned it down. So they softly and suddenly vanish away, never to be met with again.*

There is one more altar offering that needs to mentioned, another Sin offering. The one Crowley consumed in Elspeth's place in The Resurrectionists minisode in 1832 Edinburgh - the laudanum.

It pretty clear to most observers that Crowley did a good and "kind deed" for Elspeth here, which angered Hell in the process and then he was dragged forcibly downstairs to be duly punished for it. There is a post here from atlas-hope that suggests this is a parallel of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, drinking the cup of God's wrath to absolve Christians of their sins. They point out the laudanum is even poured into a goblet. Crumbs, that's a hefty bit of spiritual lifting, dear demon. What were you thinking, Anthony J. Crowley? It might cast that conversation you had with the carpenter back on the mountain in a new light, or least make us look back twice at it. (Plenty of time for contemplation before S3 arrives...)

Remember, a Sin offering has elements of both a Burnt offering and a Peace offering: a giant Crowley gets Elspeth to promise to devote the rest of her life to being "properly good, not just pretendy good" and the money Aziraphale is forced to donate to her ensures her future prosperity. Sounds like a win-win situation there, Elspeth!

[*OK, if you don't get the ref, its from the Hunting of the Snark. The Snark represents happiness, a most elusive thing to find, and more often than not its a fruitless search, and you find the terrible Boojum instead. During the third verse the Baker recounts the lecture his uncle gives him about how to hunt the Snark, and to be aware of his fate if he is unlucky enough to encounter a Boojum. It kind of fits in with S2, I feel.]

[adobe-outdesign]

could you review some of the neopets as animals outfits, like the fennec kacheek, red panda vandagyre, and cockatiel pteri? (those are examples, choose whichever you like!) thank you <3

(Note: I included a random selection of outfits in this post, but feel free to send in asks if anyone wants to see a specific outfit I didn't cover.)

I'll be honest, I'm personally not super big on the "outfit that resembles a real-world animal" trend. First, I play Neopets for the cool fantasy creatures; even the most true-to-life Neopets species have some pretty fantastical colors. I feel like making pets just look exactly like actual animals kind of defeats the purpose of them being Neopets. I get why people would like it and I'm not saying it's bad; it's just not my thing.

Also, the other reason I'm not always big on these outfits is that a lot of Neopets have colours that already resemble real animal patterns. Not only do the outfits blur the colour/customization line quite a bit, but usually I like the colour ones much more, as they keep the actual design of the Neopets in place and just change the patterns and colors, rather than covering up the fun fantasy elements. This also helps them avoid the uncanny valley effect, which I talk about more below.

Also I might be over thinking this but who is making these outfits. None of these animals seem to exist in-universe as far as we're aware. what are the shopkeepers basing these off of. the colours at least have a magic as an excuse

Examples that I think are okay:

Feathery Pteri Outfit: This one's nice! I like the layered patterning on the wings and the high-contrast colors. Most, though, I like that this sticks fairly close to the actual pet, mostly just changing up the tail shape. This almost could've been a paintbrush colour, but then again what colour is up in the air.

(Side note: the eye clipping over the beak is a rendering issue? I think?)

Bouncing Zafara: This one definitely strays farther from the actual pet than the Pteri, but it's a fitting animal choice and it doesn't fall into the uncanny valley, which is all I care about. The body is still somewhat recognizable as a Zafara in terms of shape, and the Miamouse as the joey is super cute.

Freshwater Lenny: Kind of the same case as the Zafara; not super one-to-one with the actual pet, but it's still recognizable as a Lenny and isn't too uncanny. The legs are a particularly nice touch, actually changing the pose to look more heron-like (though they are also the part that strays dangerously into being too detailed).

Please don't:

Adorable Kacheek: Sorry to the fans of this one, but this outfit just resides deep within the uncanny valley to me—like it's a mascot suit instead of just a normal pet. The artstyle is way off from Neopets, looking much more Subeta-ish (except Subeta's art usually isn't so off putting). It's not a bad artstyle, mind you, it's just not very Neopets-ish. I also feel like a fennec fox was also a bad pick for this one, as it's basically unrecognizable as a Kacheek at all.

Feathered Eyrie: Speaking of the uncanny valley, this is another pet that lands squarely there due to having entirely too much detail in the shading and weirdly realistic fur textures. It also just doesn't look very good aesthetically—the beak doesn't fit the face, and the wings are an absolute trainwreck (not only is the perspective wrong, but the left wing is coming from the middle of its back!). On the plus side, you'd be hard pressed to not recognize this as an Eyrie, and it's a fantasy creature instead of a regular animal, so I guess that's something?

Furry Meerca: Hmm... no. This one also suffers from an overly-detailed artstyle and way too much realism, which is especially jarring when placed on top of the Meerca's heavily stylized body shape, resulting in a perfectly round animal with hyper-realistic animal eyes. It's also particularly bothersome because we already had a chipmunk Meerca design in the form of the striped Meerca colour, which is just this but less soul-haunting:

Which is what I meant at the beginning when I was talking about colours vs outfits. The colour is a Meerca that looks like a chipmunk; the outfit is a chipmunk that looks like a Meerca. Big difference.

[oddygaul]

Zenless Zone Zero

Well, I’ve been playing the shit out of this game, so fair warning, there will be significant brainrot ahead.

Overall, I really dig it. I’m a huge mark for character action games, and well-done life sims tend to suck me in; Zenless Zone Zero is nailing both those aspects pretty damn well. In fact, it’s nailing them well enough that… how do I put this… it starts to slip into the territory of being A Good Game Generally, rather than just a gacha. And while this is a big accomplishment for ZZZ, this also puts it into direct conversation with other full-price games, resulting in its gacha elements causing more friction than Honkai Star Rail’s ever did*.

*I’ll be comparing this to HSR a lot, because I play way too much of both and they’re made by the same developer. I recognize that it is pretty odd and potentially even problematic to A / B compare them when I could be looking at the game through the lens of, you know, Gaming At Large. But hey, that’s why this is a subjective journal and not a holistic review blog! It is what it is.

So, the aesthetic of this game fuckin rules - it’s like, late 90s to early 2000s VHS-core. The main characters run a Blockbuster, for Christ’s sake. Presentation-wise (and systems-wise, and, hell, music-wise), ZZZ is obviously borrowing a lot from the Persona series, but like… great? I’d love it if more things cribbed that style and made it their own, from the confidant hangouts, to the small but comfy explorable areas, to the dynamic menus with edgy character poses. The character design itself is all superb, all the way down to the crowd NPCs - some the shopkeepers here have cooler designs than the main characters of some other games. Even aside from the designs, ZZZ is doing a lot with lighting and color desaturation that really lends it its own unique vibe. They actually have a cohesive artstyle in here! wild.

The presentation of the story is also killer. Sure, a decent chunk of the conversations are just models lip-flapping at each other - although they at least emote and pose a bit here, unlike the Star Rail dialogue scenes with their demure princess waves. In the main story, though, we get not only a heap of fairly lengthy cutscenes, but also this really cool comic panel-style presentation.

I feel like there was a bit of a trend in the PS3/360 era of games to present a game’s story in this comic panel / storyboard style. I understood the motivation: games increasingly demanded a more involved, consistent storytelling approach, rather than the ‘One big rendered cutscene at the beginning and end’ they used to get away with, and the generation’s increased visual fidelity meant that doing even basic, in-engine cutscenes took a lot more resources to make something half-decent. In Spyro the Dragon on PS1 you could get away with a fun little 15-second gag with a barely animated polygonal yeti or whatever; in the PS3 era, you were going up against tryhards like Metal Gear Solid 4. Amidst this landscape, the pitch of having your illustrators pretty up some storyboards and put them in the game sounds like it’d save a lot of work - plus, consoles were finally outputting a high enough resolution that this sort of flat image wouldn’t be compressed to hell.

Thing is, I always kinda hated that approach. In some cases, I think that’s the popular opinion - I fuckin love Bayonetta, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone defend its weird slideshow cutscenes. Even in games where the execution is perfectly fine, though, it rubbed me the wrong way. I think of Infamous - objectively, the art’s solid and fits the tone of the game, and the motion graphics aim to capture some of the dynamism typical cutscenes would provide. Despite all that, it still feels cheap to me - all of the panning, effects, and graphic imagery feel like they’re trying to polish up something that inherently doesn’t fit.

In ZZZ, though, I’m loving every one I come across. It’s obviously still done for efficiency reasons - there’s already a handful of characters that exist only in these panel scenes, saving the team the effort of having to model and rig them. But the freedom this allows for staging and storytelling is huge; the characters are more expressive here than anywhere else in the game, and we’re able to see situations with huge crowds and new locales much more often than would be possible in typical cinematics. And the illustrations are genuinely good, too - full of character, cool poses and creative compositions/angles.

if everything actually had to be modeled, there's no way we would've gotten Legally Blonde Nicole

Plus, the cutscenes are constant, and boy do I love the animation here. It feels so rare nowadays for a high-budget game to do stylized 3D animation of this ilk. Your biggest budget games are all going for the cinematic look, and pushing realism as much as they can - and while I know an immense amount of work and craft goes into animating something like The Last of Us, boy, I just could not care less about something so lacking in flair*. Even bigger properties that use a stylized artstyle these days, like Breath of the Wild, still tend to lean towards fairly naturalistic animation. Zenless Zone Zero’s cutscenes, on the other hand, spin and stretch motherfuckers around like we’re back on the PS2, are filled with forced perspective, and I am absolutely living for it. It’s not even reserved only for bombastic action scenes, either - we get honest to god character acting-focused conversation cutscenes.

*Seriously, take me back to the Naughty Dog that animated Jak & Daxter. Jak’s hero animation is top tier to this day

Of course, the combat animation slaps too; each of the playable agents is absolutely dripping with character. Even characters whose designs initially left me cold won me over once I saw the amount of care put into their movement and combo strings. It’s honestly shocking to me that this is the same studio that made Genshin Impact, a game I dropped after about 2 hours because of how lifeless all the animation felt*. Unique run cycles for every character, actual non-human designs, the flourishes everyone has when stopping mid-combo to snap them back to idle, the absolute synergistic audiovisual bliss of the parry… it’s really impressive stuff from a young team.

*Same studio in name only, totally different team, I know, but still

Mechanically, I have some mixed feelings about the combat as a whole. Zenless Zone Zero is, without a doubt, aiming to present complexity and depth as a team battler - that is to say, it’s more about team synergy, tag combos, and knowing who to use when, rather than soloing as any particular character. Nonetheless, I really would’ve appreciated individual characters having a bit more depth to their movesets; a jump, a launcher, cancels, anything. As outstanding as all the animation work is, there’s some characters that only have a normal attack string on square and one special attack on triangle. Like, sub-Dynasty Warriors level of complexity here. It’s rough.

This is where ZZZ’s gacha nature gets a bit ugly: so far, more complex kits and skill expression are mostly locked behind rarity, which is kind of scummy. In Star Rail, for the most part, 4-star characters are defined as such due to their numbers: they still have mechanics and complexity, they just aren’t tuned as high as the limited characters. Hell, in some cases they have more complexity. Ruan Mei is an almost incomparably stronger unit than Asta, but Ruan Mei’s play pattern is fucking boring: you use skill every three turns when it runs out. Asta, meanwhile, basically has her own risk & reward minigame that demands more thoughtful SP management.

In ZZZ, on the other hand, the lower-rank characters straight up have less going on in their kits. Nicole has like… one tech, sorta. Anby has one single animation cancel to chain her normal into her special quicker. Lucy’s only skill expression is choosing whether to tap special or hold special. Meanwhile, Zhu Yuan, a limited character, has a normal string that bounces between melee and ranged attacks, can be dodge-canceled at any point in the combo to branch into variations of the string, and a hold-normal attack string that’s completely different and has the same branching dodge-cancel tech.

It’s one thing to lock raw damage and meta viability behind a gacha, but locking the characters that are mechanically more interesting to play straight up sucks. If I hadn’t been lucky enough on the standard banner to pull exactly the two characters I find the most mechanically satisfying, I don’t know that I’d still be playing - and this is the point where ZZZ begs comparison to other, non-live service character action games. Sure, it’s probably not fair to compare a random A-rank’s moveset to Devil May Cry V’s iteration of Dante, a feature-creeped nightmare of a kit 3 console generations in the making. But what about Sengoku Basara Sumeragi, my personal character-action GOAT? By all accounts a mid-budget title, yet it offers 40 full characters chock-full of more unique mechanics and animation cancels than you can shake a stick at.

Fuck, can we please get a new Sengoku Basara? Please? I’m desperate out here. I’ll take anything, y’all.

There’s also the inherent issue that plagues every action RPG (usually deftly avoided by the character action genre), which is the delicate balance of player success depending on the numbers vs actual mechanical skill - a balancing act made even more noticeable due to the gacha genre-standard of characters taking weeks of grinding to level up. This is a topic for another day, but suffice to say, a big part of the reason Honkai Star Rail works for me as a very pretty version of Cookie Clicker is because of the Autoplay option. In Zenless Zone Zero, if you’re not willing to grind out the same mob fight for a week or two, you’re gonna hit an endgame roadblock of doing chip damage to a boss you’ve mechanically mastered because you’re underleveled, and boy, that never feels good.

For all those issues stemming from the gacha, I will say, it’s great that the story missions let you use the characters that are actually supposed to be present for those missions, even if you don’t own them. Aside from how nice it is to have an opportunity to put the whole roster through their paces, it goes a long way for actually getting invested in the story. Honkai Star Rail’s storytelling is a hot mess for many reasons, but it’s always particularly jarring rolling up to a sidequest at like, a local theater troupe with a wanted space criminal, the sitting president of a completely different planet, a ten year old child, and a shirtless cyborg cowboy, none of whom have canonically met each other; ZZZ’s approach sidesteps this issue. The proxy angle even provides a pretty valid diegetic explanation for why agents that don’t know each other might be working together.

Now that we’ve sort of meandered back to the story after talking about animation led us on a long detour - the story is surprisingly solid. In particular, I really appreciate how straightforward the writing is. I don’t know if the issue lies with the original text or the localization, but Star Rail’s dialogue, even in simple missions, tends to be incredibly meandering and overstuffed; ZZZ is a lot better about letting all its characters talk like actual humans. It also helps that the plot so far is a lot more grounded, and spends more time focusing on each faction’s group dynamics rather than the overarching plot. These games live and die by their characters, so leaning into those strengths is a smart move.

Zenless Zone Zero is, unfortunately, fully in line with Hoyo’s weird conservative politics - in particular, 1.0 and 1.1 are absolutely stuffed full of copaganda. With how many safety regulation jokes they made at the construction company, I initially hoped they’d lampoon the police faction a bit, or make a commentary on how comically heavily armed New Eridu’s police force are. In a vacuum, Zhu Yuan shouting combat lines like “Stop resisting!” or “Freeze, hands up!” while blasting someone with her gigantic, ‘JUSTICE’-emblazoned rocket launcher shotgun feels like it ought to be satire. Every time we talk to the officers, though, it’s just line after line about their solemn duty to protect the people of the city, how essential and important they are for the community, and so on and so on.

This wholehearted embrace of the world’s current power structure is something Zenless Zone Zero approaches in nearly the exact same way as Star Rail. In both games, your playable character is someone that’s sort of operating outside the law - in Star Rail, as the maverick organization that is the Astral Express, while in ZZZ you work as an illegal proxy. Despite this setup, any time the protagonists come into contact with a governing body, they are no less than thrilled to help them enforce the will of the law.

In Star Rail, you aid the local governments (one of which is an undemocratic monarchy) in committing massive cover-ups to hide their failures from the populace not once but twice. In ZZZ, you aid the police to an obsequious degree - playing along with them to not arouse suspicion is one thing, but helping them organize a fucking community day on Sixth Street? Fuck that. Hell, said community day is even shown to initially be DOA because none of the local residents trust the police - and you best believe we get two full scenes of the MCs changing the resident’s minds, resulting in them spouting shit about “Oh, it was our fault for judging the police too harshly - they really do have our best interests at heart!”

is it tho

There’s an argument to be made that the N.E.P.S. are a little different, given that they exist in a post-apocalyptic world with monsters popping up every day - and ZZZ’s copaganda is certainly a little less flagrant than something like Spider-Man helping the NYPD install civilian surveillance networks in Insomniac’s Spider-Man. And, sure, perhaps this can help excuse why they post fully armored, rifle-wielding soldiers in the Lumina Square DMV, and provides some justification that their existence is more helpful than the real world’s civilian-murdering property guards.

Thing is, though, at every turn you’re hit with dialogue and situations which make it clear that, no, they’re the normal cops. Every other sidequest seems to involve calling the N.E.P.S. in on somebody or helping with an investigation, and for every time we see them handle ethereal activity, there’s two instances of them being called in for petty property theft or something similarly minor - even the playable character has heaps of dialogue choices threatening to call the police on someone*. Much like Star Rail’s reactionary politics were strangely at odds with the ‘blazing a new path’ ideals of the trailblaze, Zenless Zone Zero’s obsession with the police puts a damper on its underground, counterculture aesthetic.

*Including a case where both options threatened this, leaving me without a non-narc dialogue choice.

illustration by Lv01KOKUEN

And finally… I don’t know where to fit this in, so I guess it just goes in its own little section at the end here. Lots of people, myself included, have touched on the Persona inspirations - and they’re certainly significant. One thing I’m surprised I haven’t seen anyone mention as a huge influence is Yasuhiro Nightow’s Kekkai Sensen / Blood Blockade Battlefront. From its sense of style to its worldbuilding, ZZZ damn near feels like fanfic to me. Hell, it’s right in the name - BBB? ZZZ? And this is on top of the dimensional crossover / big city vibe, the retro fashion, the different factions. Victoria Housekeeping might as well be Libra 2.0 - Von Lycaon is a damn near perfect 50/50 expy of Klaus and Stephen Starphase. And then Belle / Wise, who assist these powerful fighters in a noncombat role just like Leo, also turn out to have some sort of special magical eyes granted to them by untold powers from within the dimensional rift??

I’m here for it, don’t get me wrong - love Nightow. But that can’t be coincidence, right?

[cuttyclowngirl]

Daima EP.4 (Spoiler) review/theories

• My bad Glorio, I wasn't familiar with your game. He actually can fly & is a league stronger than I thought. I was wrong. Good. He's even more fascinating than before. How does a demon from the 3rd world obtain such strength? Why would he need it if he was a simple bounty hunter/assassin as viewers suspect? All that & he can't sense ki?

• Glorio & Shin's (Supreme Kai's) "U can't fool me" dynamic continues to grow ever more tense. Who's going to crack first?

• Glorio sorta gave up on on finding his plane almost immediately in favor of finding a new vehicle. Was the plane even his to begin with? He also doesn't seem to care that about being late to see King Kandan. The nearest Tamagami is miles in the opposite direction they've been heading so far & Glorio still insisted they just gather the balls instead of prioritizing the meeting with Kadan, which tells me he never actually intended to see the 3rd world King & probably wasn't sent by King Kadan.

• Glorio suddenly switching up & almost insisting they gather the balls, coupled with that "All according to plan" smirk/hmph is further feeding into my theory about him working for Dr Arinsu. (There were two shots in the conversation where Glorio's eyes are suspiciously off screen) She was probably watching on a Magic Monitor & sent Glorio a telepathic message/order.

• The shopkeeper couple are absolutely lovely "one & done" type silly characters. Love their designs, their bits, their voices & interactions. I hope they'll be featured in future video games. (Glorio is such an experienced haggler, he even saw through a not so obvious deafness trick. Tells me Glorio socializes a lot.)

• "Medi Bugs". Toriyama never missed an opportunity to remind everyone that JRPGs were one of his special interests, huh? Revive Bug restores stamina. (Compared to Senzu, but wasn't stated to have healing properties. Let's remember that.) Achichi Bug heals burns, Zutsu Bug cures headaches, Beaut Bugs make your skin silky. JOIN BUG: "Feed halves to 2 people & they can fuse for a while". Introducing a Demon Realm exclusive type fusion. Can't wait to see what it looks like.

• Aside from the multiple unnamed Medi Bugs Goku made Glorio ("Goliro" lmao) buy, which we saw in his bag, the shopkeeper lady said they had "most of the different types of Medi Bugs", meaning even more might be introduced later. She also called the Medi Bugs "souvenirs" so they're clearly not rare/hard to find.

• The heavy air yields yet another obstacle in the form of even lower mobility in any attempt at flying at high speeds. "It expends a lot of energy & will tire you out quickly".

• Poor Shin has to keep Goku on task like a kid on a leash, reminding him that the main mission is rescuing baby Dende.

• As I had hoped, the Tamagamis are strong, even by Glorio's standards to the point he's never heard of anyone gathering all 3 balls. So Goku & crew will be the first in ages to do so.

• Demons apparently believe their set of D balls are the originals. Fandom discourse fuel right there.

• "Sky seeds". Shin said he's never heard of one, meaning the "Great Fiend Flower" & their Sky seeds are 3rd world exclusive. The whimsical orchestral cover of Jaka Jann coupled with Goku's attitude throughout the Sky seed riding sequence was pure dragon ball charm. (I got a lil emotional.)

• The Supreme King's military police are called "Gendarmerie" a word derived from the medieval French phrase "gens d'armes" meaning "Men-at-arms".

• Finding out that the red Magic Collars we've seen several demons already wearing are actually oppression devices really hurt me when I remembered that those lovely shopkeepers were wearing them too... I think the scarf Panzy wears is either hiding her collar or concealing an awful scar caused by her manually removing her's that she'd rather no one see.

• What could the life force sucked out of poor demons by that awful machine possibly be for? Keeping the Supreme King young and strong? Like in "Go Go Ackman" where the souls of dead humans kept the demon king young & strong?

•Goku & crew are fugitives now. The obstacles just keep staking. (Bulma's def gonna yell at someone.)

• Panzy seems to be your classic plucky eccentric rebel who's inventions only work half the time, which already sorta sets her apart from Bulma the giga genius & GT's Pan. I look forward to her future antics & discovering her motivation for traveling with Goku & crew. (She should either learn how to fly or make herself a pair of roller skates for quick getaways.) There seemed to be some focus on her eyes. Could her eye color be an additional plot point? I don't remember any other demon having purple eyes like her's specifically, but I'm probably reading into it too much.

[pennyblossom-meta]

The Ides of April, chapter 06 - Fool (draft, pt 01)

Currently working on pt 01 for chapter 06, it's been a good distraction from work and RL. Still need to start my reviews on the excellent new chapters from fandom friends, apologies for the delay. Needed to get this first part out of my mind before anything else.

I think this is the most 'yandere L' I could possibly write -- which is to say, L is incredibly evasive and uncomfortable to stand next to when he's onto someone and trying to get them to do what he wants. Going by the manga and Another Note, it's very clear that he just rubs people off the wrong way on a first meeting. And given how he tries to keep the Kira case under wraps, he's not doing himself any favours where Anna is concerned, as he keeps annoying her.

Writing these interactions is an exercise in restraint; the only reason why Anna doesn't immediately hex L and Watari is, simply, because of the RuLes. Unfortunately for her, if only L had been a little more open about their actions, she might've caught on that Watari turned off the cameras at the underground parking lot and at the hotel, so it would be entirely feasible for Anna to have Stunned them both, Obliviated their memories and Apparated at her apartment.

Oh well. Now that she's stuck with them for the foreseeable future she'll be forced to interact with L often. If only he would stop being such a gremlin.

And how would you react if L took you 'hostage' for seeing something you shouldn't?

SPOILERS AHEAD

--

They were parked at the furthest section of an underground, walled into a miserable structure made out of concrete and lit by artificial lights that went on for miles into the cavernous horizon.

A strangely empty one, Anna thought, lips pursed and eyes narrowed as she inspected their surroundings. Holding onto the headrest behind her, she twisted on her seat to prop herself up on her knees just in time to watch through the back window as an automatic door cut them off from all other traces of civilization — vehicles and people alike, strolling across the lot without a care in the world, how ironic — with a loud thud that unleashed a gust of stale air. 

The hammering inside her chest increased tenfold.

Next to her, someone spoke softly. Anna tore her gaze away from the window, sneering as she found Ryuga’s vacant stare fixed on her, an odd glint in his eyes that she immediately disliked. He opened his mouth to address her, but she didn’t bother to listen. Instead she turned away, her thoughts running wild; in the UK, she’d be allowed to Obliviate and carry on without a hitch — but for all the blasted rules, restrictions and protocols on how to handle Muggles, no one had bothered to introduce her to the basics of lawful procedure in Japan when unlawfully dragged into danger through coercion or omission.

Though perhaps, she reasoned amid a surge of anger and self-pity, it simply hadn’t been necessary before she arrived. Perhaps she’d been the first witch brainless enough in a century or so to fall into this kind of situation. But what had she done wrong? And who were these people?

Doesn't matter, she concluded. Right now, none of it does. Should’ve known better than to ask for help. 

She'd been a fool for ever trusting Muggles.

Anna took a deep breath. The shopkeeper’s words were still burned into her memory: she’d made a spectacle of herself. Mind, if she jeopardized the Statute of Secrecy now without just cause and got caught, she was going to wake up the next day with a gaggle of wizards at her door, telling her to pack her bags and run back to Surrey. Or worse, she’d get arrested on the spot.

Which meant that only one ethical path remained available to her.

But what could be considered just cause? When would she reach the threshold of calamity, so far into danger that she couldn’t do anything but react accordingly to save herself on grounds of reasonable doubt?

I’ll give you one chance, but no more than that. I’ll try to act as a Muggle would — if only because doing otherwise would cause an ordeal of such magnitude that I’m not even remotely prepared to deal with right now.

“This doesn’t look like a police station at all,” she remarked coldly, sinking back into the seat with a grim expression as the leather let out a muffled creak. Her eyes fell on Ryuga's awkward crouch, down to his bare toes and then up to his mane of wild hair. She thought to point out just how poor his manners were but then hesitated, noticing the sorry state of Sarah’s camera, with bits and bobs hanging limp where they probably shouldn’t — and instead settled for a glare. “Curious and curiouser! Or are you going to tell me there's a koban posted at this hotel?”

“Not quite,” Ryuga met her glare without faltering. He was difficult to read, but she got the impression that he’d been bored by her questions. Lazy, he tilted his head towards the driver’s seat. “Are we ready to go up?”

“We are,” said Mister Smith, who fiddled with a piece of Muggle technology she’d never seen before. It made a series of annoying beeps that rang in her ears. 

“Thank you.”

"Wait a second, going up where?" Anna demanded, itching to pull out her wand as she watched Ryuga’s feet slide into the pair of beaten trainers he’d kept under his seat (only very barely in, heels exposed like he couldn’t wait to take them off). She tried to open the door on her side, but it was locked. “Blimey, do you expect me to go along with this — this charade when you won’t even tell me what’s going on?”

He sighed. “As I said before, if you would please settle down. We —”

“No! I will not ‘settle down’,” she all but shouted. Then, swiftly, she flung her suitcase onto the seat, directly in no-man’s-land between herself and Ryuga. As if that would help matters in any way. “If you don’t tell me what I want to know right this instant, I’ll scream for help. Just stop being so bloody evasive and talk to me already.” That ought to do it.

Outside, a big yellow light on the wall blinked.

Ryuga threw her an unimpressed glance over his shoulder as he prepared to hop out into the parking lot. “If only you would listen as much as you talk,” he grunted, pausing for a moment to consider her, the bags under his eyes even darker in the dim light. “Whether you resist or come quietly, the result will be the same. But from this moment on, you are obligated to cooperate with us. Please wait to be let out of the car, we will escort you precisely where you need to go.” A moment of silence hung, tense and obnoxious. Then, he added in a quiet, almost mocking tone that Anna could only define as self-indulgent sarcasm: “Don’t take too long to make up your mind.”

What a complete and utter arse.

“‘Obligated to cooperate with you’? That’s quite the turn,” she spat. “First you lie to me and then try to force me to comply with whatever little plot this is. What makes you think I need to do anything you tell me?”

“You’re in no danger.”

She gaped at him, incredulous. “What the — are you having me on?”

“Since you seem to have made it a habit to jump to conclusions despite all visible efforts to accommodate your predicament, I’m afraid nothing we can do will be enough to convince you otherwise. Suffice to say that, for now, the answer to your question is: because it would be in your best interests to do so,” Ryuga said, and before she could react, he grabbed the handle on her suitcase with a pale, bony hand like a serpent’s, dragging it out. Then, he closed the door without another word.

Anna seethed. Oh, who did this Muggle think he was? 

“I think you need to pick up a dictionary and review what ‘accommodating’ actually means. Something’s not adding up.”

And what did he mean by her ‘predicament’? Apparently lying was not enough — he still had to twist the knife, making it seem as if she was somehow at fault.

As if on cue, Mister Smith left the vehicle and went round the front until he reached her door, opening it with the utmost care. “This way, please,” he said politely. “We must hurry.”

“And why’s that, pray tell,” Anna sneered as she positioned herself to leave the horrid, black vehicle of lies, moving at an almost glacial pace.

“Being contrarian just to prove a point will get you nowhere,” Ryuga said from afar. He dragged his feet towards a metal door and turned the handle. Anna craned her neck to see where it led — to a grey-ish hall, this one with a lift. Outstanding. “Watari, please escort Miss Green inside. And make sure she doesn’t wander off.”

Watari? But —

Anna narrowed her eyes at Ryuga. “Oh, I see it now,” her voice was like acid. “You must feel empathy like other people feel indigestion.”

When neither men deigned to answer her clever quip, Anna took a deep breath to soothe her nerves and then, on trembling legs, hoisted herself up from her seat. She held onto the door for balance and inspected her surroundings more closely; they were alone in what resembled a private parking lot smelling of dust and old tires, perhaps very deep underground. Deeper than she’d be comfortable with, no doubt. Almost like a tomb, made only slightly less macabre by the lack of spiders and undead roaming around. 

Pursing her lips, she tapped her nails on the smooth surface, thinking how she could, hypothetically, get away with a Confundus charm if she was sneaky enough to distract these two by pretending to be, as Ryuga put it, somewhat more ‘cooperative’. Anything short of a full blown fight should be acceptable. But she’d need to be patient, wait for an opportunity to strike.

She turned her gaze towards the older man, Mister Smith, — no, Watari, another lie she’d been caught up in — and saw him cast her an expectant look.

"Perhaps you would rather hold onto my arm, Miss Green?" 

No, not really, Anna thought, biting the inside of her lip. Without a word, she nodded and drew out her hand, slowly, towards Watari's helpful arm. It was warm, the fabric on the vest smooth. She inhaled sharply; it felt like betrayal. 

Heart thumping so loud she was certain it reverberated across the underground, Anna allowed the two men to escort her into the lift without a fuss. She felt Ryuga’s eyes on her even as he stepped inside; like a scarecrow hanging by invisible threads, he stood immediately to her left, curved forward with Sarah’s camera popping out of his pocket, the strap looped around his wrist, holding her suitcase with his other hand. She suddenly felt very small, besieged as she was by the two tall men, unable to even pull out her wand. 

Anna glanced at the floor counter as the lift started ascending, her brows furrowing when it hit number 10, then 15, 16…it went up and up, a never ending journey laced with silence and doubt.

From the corner of her eye, she caught Ryuga’s gaze. He seemed to be studying her intently.

The lights in the lift flickered.

TBC

--

As usual, any feedback is appreciated! Do you think L is OOC? How's the pacing?

[smaller-comfort]

2024 fanfic year-in-review!

tagged by @tearitar tagging @ocelly, @kyuohki, and @the-starry-lycan if you want- and anyone else who'd like to!

number of stories posted to ao3: 14- which averages out to more than 1 a month and that's fucking astonishing

word counted posted for last year: 107,457 WHAT. Granted 10k of that was Love Is War which mostly was written in 2010 but STILL.

For some perspective, my total ao3 word count, which includes stuff I wrote going back to 2005, is 144k. That's a 289% increase! what! the! fuck!

fandoms i wrote for: Sea of Stars, The Messenger, Twice Dead King/Warhammer 40k, and Assassin's Creed.

pairings: Aephorul/Resh'an (philosopher's bone(r)); B'st/Resh'an (musical theorems); Oltyx/Yenekh (monster boyfriends); Djoseras/Zultanekh; Altair/Malik/Maria; Monk/Ninja

stories with the most kudos, bookmarks and comment threads: Hilariously, Love Is War has the most kudos. I'm not sure it should count, though. (I promised an update, and I swear I'll do it this year.) Love Is War and A Certain Slant of Light are tied for most bookmarks. And Hotel California has the most comment threads and second-highest kudos, which makes sense because it's got the highest chapter count.

work i’m most proud of (and why): Every time this question comes up I seem to have a different answer- right now I'm  proudest of Love Is Not All, because it was my first exchange fic and I was leery of my ability to finish. It pushed me way out of my comfort zone, and I'm proud of myself for that.

And I think it's a very fun story overall, but my favorite part is the ending- it kind of wraps up with my thesis statements for both characters as they approach biotransference. Djoseras in particular is an extremely difficult character for me to get my head around, and when I wrote out that scene it really helped to make him click in my head. (It's the closing scene, but it was one of the first parts that I wrote.)

work i’m least proud of (and why): I love all my children equally! Once something gets to the point of being posted, I have to be proud of it.

There are certainly places where I think I could improve, but a lot of that comes down to my writing style shifting over the course of the year. I'm still trying to figure out my own voice.

(I'm not that satisfied with the shopkeeper chapter of hotel california)

share or describe a favorite review you received: man. every comment is cherished, but some of the comments/responses to Dreaming Still and A Light Exists In Spring made me cry.  I was in kind of a "crawl into a hole and never speak to anyone ever again" frame of mind when I first posted Dreaming Still, so those comments were the blessed dopamine shot I needed to get my head back in order. And for ALEiS, it was the weirdest/most niche thing I'd written at that point, and I was not expecting such an enthusiastic response. For both of those stories, I had comments that pointed out themes I hadn't even realized I was writing- and as a writer, that's really the most incredible feeling in the world.

Also shout out to that person who comment-spammed most of my SoS fic with tons of quotes and emojis. You are a shining star in the sky, a bright beacon of light in the darkness, I owe you my life/my firstborn/a slice of cake, etc.

Sea of stars fandom has spoiled me rotten when it comes to comments, and I love all of you.

a time when writing was really, really hard:  uggghhhh right now actually. Christmas killed my momentum and now I keep making hissing noises at all of my wips instead of actually writing anything. words r hard, brain iz dumb.

Summer was rough as well, although in retrospect I actually got quite a bit of writing done. My brain was being astonishingly awful for a lot of it.

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: 

Aephorul, in general. Most of Save Scumming. The way B'st just completely came in with a steel chair and usurped Resh'an's spot as my favorite character- though in retrospect, that shouldn't be surprising, given that he's kind of tailor-made to appeal to me.

The last chapter of Hotel California happened almost entirely by accident. I later found out that the Shopkeeper/Muse theory is a pretty common one, but at the time it made me feel slightly feral. Shared fandom braincell; the games force you to extrapolate a lot, and its very fun to see what conclusions people arrive at independently.

a favourite excerpt of your writing: 

“I don't blame you." Aephorul turned to lean his head against Resh'an's, and press a kiss against his brow. "Not anymore.” “Maybe you believe that, too.” He closed his eyes, listening to the echo of the false heartbeat in Aephorul's body. “And maybe we're both better at lying to ourselves than anyone else ever was.” Aephorul's arms tightened around him. He didn't say anything; there was nothing more to be said. They held each other together, and the stars moved in their slow, inevitable circuit above them.  > Continue? Maybe not quite yet; you can rest here a little longer. You've got all the time in the world.

I get excited whenever I can tie things in different stories/different scenes together. The cyclical mirroring thing that Resh'an and Aephorul do in all my fic is mostly intentional, and kind of integral to the way I approach their characters. So the way the ending to Save Scumming refers back to the ending to Loser Takes All is one of my favorite things about it.

(But I'll be honest, sometimes this happens unintentionally; there's a really funny repetition in YMTE(E) that I didn't catch until after I posted chapter 2, but I actually love that it's there.

Theres that post that's like "sometimes as a reader you just want nine carrot cakes in a row" and I have embraced that philosophy wholeheartedly.)

how did you grow as a writer last year: I wrote so many words! So many. Just an absurd number of words, gosh.

I think I'm getting better at taking risks and being less apologetic about what I write.  Don't get me wrong- I do think I'm hot shit, actually. I'm not reflexively apologizing for the quality of my writing, just the content; the mortifying ordeal of being known gets me every time. I used to get hysterically panicked every time I posted something, and now I don't, mostly. Progress!

how do you hope to grow this year:  I'd like to try writing longer, plottier things; there are some wips (outshine the sun, the obyron/zahndrekh thing) that I've been avoiding because I'm not confident enough in my ability to execute. I'd like to find that confidence.

Also 2025 is the year of the snake so idk I should really write more monsterfucking. Get weirder and hornier about everything, write some new kinks, push myself further out of my comfort zone.

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc.): so many people. most of what I wrote this year probably wouldn't have happened at all if not for the friends I've made here on tumblr. Fandom is this perpetual game of "yes, and" and it's been a delight getting to play it with all of you.

I struggle a lot with making and maintaining connections with other people in general, so just know that if we've talked or interacted at all over the past year, it means a lot to me.

anything from your real life show up in your writing last year: ahahaha oh god. Well, the setting for my modern AU is really just places I've lived with the serial numbers sandblasted off. And in lieu of doing actual research, I'm just pulling from my own memories of the early 2000s for the college-era au. (It's not autobiographical at all; my memory is so fucked that it's really just vibes at this point anyway. But those vibes specifically are very much 'being queer and closeted during the bush administration wasn't great, actually.')

There's also a bunch of the medical/mental health stuff that comes from my day job, but most of that is pretty obscure. Again, rather than actually doing research, I prefer to just absorb the stuff that's going on around me at any given time. Sometimes this is my growing familiarity with all the ICD-10 F codes, and sometimes this is all the things I wish I didn't know about my coworkers' sex lives. *sighs very, very deeply*

any projects you’re looking to starting (or finishing) this year: I don't really think ahead about starting things; I'm kind of always just flying by the seat of my pants. But I definitely want to write more snecrons, and finish all of my current posted wips. So, Love Is War; the parting is all we know of heaven series (which has an actual plot trajectory, I swear); You, Me, Them, Everybody (Everybody); Devotional. And then there are the wips that haven't gotten posted yet, like all the various Etudes stories, the sequel to Save Scumming, and half a dozen other modern AU things.

I'd love to clean up/expand some of my very old ffvi fic, too. Mostly, I'm looking forward to writing more! It's been a trip; I hope 2025 is just as productive.

[mythauragame]

Development Update - September 2023

Hello hello everyone, Miyazaki here with another development update!

This month we cover:

Mutations

Kobolds

Weekend Traveler design

Beast Design Contest winners

Ko-fi Quarterly Rewards concepts

All that and more under the cut!

Mutations

On very rare occasions, a Beast may be born with a striking visual abonormality. These are Mutations.

Mutations are obtained primarily through breeding two Beasts together. Mutations are not passed down to offspring, meaning that parents who have Mutations are not any more likely to pass it down to their offspring than parents without Mutations. There will be methods available to increase the likelihood of a Beast being born with a Mutation.

Mutations will layer on top of all base colors and specials. They do not recolor. There will be methods to remove a Beast's Mutation, if the player does not want it on their Beast. A Beast can only ever have one Mutation at any given time.

There will be a difficult end-game method of adding Mutations to preexisting Beasts, but breeding will provide a higher odds.

Mythaura will launch with 3 Mutations, the first of which is Piebald.

Piebald

Piebaldism is a genetic mutation that has a pattern of unpigmented white spots on a pigmented background of hair, feathers, or scales. The Beast's skin under the white background is not pigmented.

Piebald is now live in the Beast Creator for you to experiment with.

Quarter 2 (2023) Ko-fi Concepts

It’s the first day of Quarter 2 (2023), which means we’ve got new Quarterly Rewards for Sponsors to vote on on our Ko-fi page!

Which concepts would you like to see made into official site items? Sponsors of Bronze level or higher have a vote in deciding. Please check out the Companion post and the Glamour post on Ko-fi to cast your vote for the winning concepts!

Votes must be posted by October 29, 2023 at 11:59pm PDT in order to be considered.

All Quarter 1 (2023) Rewards are now listed in our Ko-fi Shop for individual purchase for all Sponsor levels at $5 USD flat rate per unit. As a reminder, please remember that no more than 3 units of any given item can be purchased. If you purchase more than 3 units of any given item, your entire purchase will be refunded and you will need to place your order again, this time with no more than 3 units of any given item.

Hopefully in the future Ko-fi will offer the functionality to limit purchases per user, but for the time being we will be reviewing orders manually and reaching out to those who disregard these instructions.

Quarter 1 (2023) Companion: Filigree Moth

Quarter 1 (2023) Glamour: Twilight Dreamscape

Quarter 1 (2023) Solid Gold Glamour: Peryton

Kobolds

Kobolds are a non-playable species. They will show up around Mythaura as shopkeepers and other NPCs, along with other sapient species like Harpies, Fauns, and Vitterfolk.

They are masters of magical spatial manipulation—they are itinerant by nature and insatiably curious collectors, so they developed the means to distort space to carry large amounts of items in a small space. These satchels are highly sought-after items for adventurers. While many of these satchels are created purely for function and are minimalist in design, some Kobold artisans specialize in making beautiful, exquisitely detailed bags. These are often sold for exorbitant prices. (Buyers beware that there is a thriving market for fraudulent satchels, especially in the larger cities!)

Kobolds showcase a wide variety of physical traits, often influenced by where they were born. Although their ancestral home is the desert of the Sun Path, Kobolds have long since spread to all corners Mythaura. Their design takes inspiration from alligators, lizards, jackals, and coati.

Weekend Traveler

We originally mentioned the Weekend Traveler in the June 2023 update. This Kobold will bring their rare, luxury wares into town every Friday through Sunday to sell to the player—so be sure to save up your gold and shards for their weekly visits!

Beast Design Contest Winners

Thank you for all the great submissions to the Beast Design Contest! You all never cease to impress us with your creativity. For the September 2023 Beast Creator Contest we’ve got our three winners: Hidranea, Zillychu, and Despot!

Our three winners will each have the rewards automatically applied to their accounts, and these three beasts will be featured on the homepage for Quarter 2 (October through December).

Keep an eye out for our next Beast Creator Contest–we’ll be gathering entries in December to display on our site for Quarter 3 (January through March).

Reminder: Custom Color Contest

As a reminder: to celebrate the cooperative nature of the color wheel that we're making with you, we're opening a Custom Color Contest. We want to offer the opportunity for you to make a permanent impact on Mythaura's color wheel!

This contest is free to enter, and only has the following parameters:

Only one entry allowed

Fill out Google Form by Saturday, November 25, 2023 at 11:59pm PST

We've included a PSD file for you to use, if you'd like!

The dev team will reach out to the winner on December 1 to begin the color design process. Winner will have until December 22, 2023 to complete their color design.

Winner will also receive 3x copies of the Empemeral Ink that matches their color's base hue (Red, Orange, Yellow, Blue, Green, or Violet).

We're so excited to see what you come up with!!

Mythaura v0.23

Laid the groundwork for in-game encounters with functioning decision engine with basic weighting for behaviors.

Added base threads and posts functionality for forums.

Implemented an index for the forum index.

Added the ability to create a thread in the forum.

Prevented non-staff members from posting in the staff category of the forum.

Added enhanced guest user functionality.

Refactored the demo battle to use guest users.

Refactored various map generation functions for guest users.

Created and implemented guest sessions & encounters in the wild area.

Refactored walkable tiles in the wild area and added support for sound effects.

Various schema and database updates.

Added a loading screen to the CMS and related endpoint.

Added parallax backgrounds and refactored existing code.

Added mutations to creator dropdown.

Fixed issue with button widths in battle demo.

Began behind-the-scenes implementation of production layout.

Thank You!

Thanks for sticking through to the end of the post, we always look forward to sharing our month's work with all of you--thank you for taking the time to read. We'll see you around the Discord!

[chronotsr]

No. 9 - T1, The Village of Hommlet (August 1979)

Author(s): Gary Gygax Artist(s): David A. Trampier (Cover), David C. Sutherland III Level range: 1 Theme: Tutorial dungeon Major re-releases: T1-4 The Temple of Elemental Evil, The Village of Hommlet (2009), Original Adventures Reincarnated #6.

CW: Discussion of Antisemitism. I didn't see that coming.

Possibly the end of the hiatus curse? Since then, I had further brainworms and acquired (and read) the fiend folio, the MM2, several Jon Petersen histories on TSR and the industry, and more. Will this reflect in the review itself? Maybe!

...Wait, there's a 4e version? 4e had a really weird habit of random 1e remakes didn't it? It was a reward for WOTC's organized play DMs, I have not read it in its entirety but it is very revisionist in a bad way. It's jarring, it mashes up 4e-style art with the original black and white pen-drawn art of 1e and also greyscale realistic maps? It's a mess of a release and there's some truly weird retcons in it. Anyway, we're here for 1e, not 4e.

Actually, one more aside. There is an adventure sequence called The Great Greyhawk Campaign. It was never officially announced or released as one product, but the idea goes that you start in Hommlet, you go to the Temple of Elemental Evil, you do the Slavelords campaign, then the Giants sequence, then the Drow sequence, and finally wrap in Q1. That's a hell of a ride, and it would probably comfortably get you to level cap for most characters. I really wanna try it some day, but I can't imagine it ever happening (that is SO long!)

So. T1. How do you start with T1?

I think you can seriously argue that T1 is the single most reviewed module of all time. It honestly feels a little excessive to cover it. And yet, I felt obligated to do my dues to T1. Why?

Because T1 is, more than any previous module, the most influential module ever made. Lots of early modules are influential. G1 is important for being the first standalone module. D2 is important for being an early module to not assume hostilities. B1 is the first tutorial dungeon. But the thing about all of those is that in 2025, those types of modules have dramatically moved on. T1 remains the same. T1 is the granddaddy of all starter towns in every video game and every ttrpg. Every starter town is being compared against T1, it is the baseline.

Now this is not to say that T1 is perfect, or that T1 has aged like fine wine. But T1 tapped into something elemental about D&D that it needed to progress. Prior to T1, many parties simply...didn't play out the out-of-the-dungeon part. Characters poofed into the dungeon entrance and poofed out because the game was about dungeoncrawling. T1 represents a wildly different vision for the game, one that Gary and friends had been doing for a while and many people had independently dreamed up, but T1 made it standard that there was a nearby town that you actually went to and played things out, that was your home base. D3 was still, ultimately, a hostile environment. Like look at this:

That's just what DND towns look like. This basic structure (a town with a mayor and farmers and shopkeeps and blacksmiths and the local wizard and a dungeon nearby) is ubiquitous in DND now. You can basically describe any given dnd starting town as Hommlet And BLANK. Orlane is Hommlet And Kidnappings. Phandelin is Hommlet And Miners. Shadowdale is Hommlet And Wizards. Saltmarsh is Hommlet And Smugglers. It's hard to even get across how little has fundamentally changed between T1 and the 2014 Starter Set. Really if one thing has "changed" between T1 and then, it's the belief that adventures SHOULD have narrative hooks and SHOULD have an overarching plot. Even then they sometimes skip those.

Despite it's influence, T1 is weird in that it feels less like a module and more like a game aid. At its core, Hommlet is a town that has nothing to do with the nearby dungeon, and a dungeon that has nothing to do with the town. The town is keyed like a dungeon, and the dungeon is keyed like...a dungeon. The connective tissue is that the Temple of Elemental Evil is lurking as a threat behind everything, but T4 won't be released for QUITE some time, so it feels vague and distant. We get an actually surprisingly sophisticated history lesson: Hommlet was founded as a travel inn, a blacksmithy, and some farms. It grew into a proper town. Things got bad when their neighbors in Evil Town decided to Worship Evil and did Evil Stuff to them. The forces of good rallied and killed the bad guys, sieging the Temple of Elemental Evil and locking the evil inside. Adventurers slowly dried up as the area ran out of adventure to adventure at. So now evil returns and you lot will bumble into it.

Let us, then, get into the town part of the key.

One of the cliches of old TSR towns, to me, is that item #1 is always a farm. The game always presumes you enter town and you find a farm and the family is there and they wave at you. Orlane inverts this a bit by having the farmers NOT happy to see you, which is one of the many reasons I consider Orlane to be the most interesting starter village ever.

At this point time, thieves are a class now, and so (conspicuously) everything is marked for how the players could rob it.

There are a lot of what you might call "empty hooks" lying around town. For example, the son of a local farmer is actually a spy for Verbabonc (SUCH a TSR name) that will help you if paid to, and if he dies his brother will demand restitution. Why? That's left to a later module! Which wouldn't come out for another 6 years! Oops!

The wealth amounts in this town are genuinely unhinged, as usual. Inside a crock in some cowshit is, for some reason, nearly 700gp of treasure. Would you go digging around in cowshit for 70 dollars? Maybe if I had gloves. The placements are all nefariously difficult here: "sewn inside a horsecollar" do kids even know what horsecollars are anymore? Do they know who Horace Horsecaller is? How old are we!

A frankly annoying quality here is that these buildings are keyed with the first appearance in ALLCAPS followed by the actual building title in the body paragraph -- The Inn of the Welcome Wench is buried 3 lines into its text. You're not gonna skim that. You have to know in advance where it is, basically. The inn itself is, inexplicably, keyed separately without calling out that the actual room-by-room is elsewhere. If you scroll forward to page 9 (possibly looking for the map, which is also housed elsewhere), The contents of the inn itself is fairly ho-hum, it's a normal inn with many normal recruitment opportunity and the obligatory gygaxian traitor henchmen (who are unfailingly higher levels than their non-traitor peers). A few specialties are here though: a secret room from the old resistance, a spy from the temple of elemental evil, a secret ceiling compartment where druids can spy on suspicious guests).

A cavalcade of repetitive cottagers follow, emphasizing why in the future we stopped keying every single house. Many are not named, with that classic "so you customize it" excuse that people love trotting out. It does serve the purpose of making sure you have an answer to exactly who is with which faction: The Cuthbertites, the newbie; The Grove, part of the old alliance; the Temple, Verbabonc, the big supporter of the alliance; or one of the few neutrals.

The trader's establishment is also lovingly given a map and keys. Curiously, it is for lack of a better phrase "sub keyed", where the main room has every single item in it given a location. The map is here mainly because the players might discover the traders are also spies and want to kill them. They probably won't succeed, it's a Lv10 thief and a Lv7 assassin, they will at best cause them to flee and at worse die in the process.

I always find it funny how "moneychanger" is a perpetual occupation in DND. I have no idea how common historical moneychangers were, but if DND is to be believed, there's one in every podunk town. What do they do for the majority of the year when it's not market day?

For reasons I cannot fathom, they finally call out the separate map and key for the church after skipping every other keyed location. It's a standard fantasy church, styled after a catholic one, with the bit that Cuthbert is a brute and likes beating his worshippers into compliance. It's trying very hard to be funny but I'm not sure how funny it'd be to any table I've run. Why precisely this needed a room by room map is unclear to me, I can't foresee why you'd fight there. The walled manor is not keyed, despite being the official holdout if the temple attacks.

A half-built castle is underway for the town's old heroes, Burne and Rufus, who are mid level adventurers who have settled down. They live next door in the tower, which gets its own key, though there's not much to report beyond "it's a guard tower." Really, the main advantage of T1 as a document is that it has maps for your default buildings: a town, an inn, a trader's shop, a guard tower, and a dungeon. The maps are probably worth more than the keying for the purposes of the neophyte GM.

It is truly the town-est town ever to have town'd. Its genericity means you really could just put it in any faux medieval fantasy setting anywhere.

Nothing's really driving you to the main dungeon, that moathouse, in fact it never directs you to mention the moathouse from any specific NPC. You either work it in or the players need to wander around and explore it for simply being there -- like you're playing a TES game. In fact, not much of this book's setups really fire off anything else. There are a few people who will tail you into the dungeon or betray you if you hire them to go in with you, but that's pretty much it. All the actual secret going on in this town is immaterial to T1, setting up for T4? But let's talk about the moathouse.

First of all, I just adore the bad guy's name. "Lareth the Beautiful." They really don't make NPC names like they used to. A good title after a first name -- even just a place of origin name (Bridgette of Freeport) starts implying things about the world that are far more interesting that Jane Silvercat. A pox on noun-noun names! It's almost a shame Lareth will probably die here because he begs to be put to greater use! In any event, the Moathouse is a shithole. Just look at this mess:

Your first instinct when you're reading about the new castle is "why don't they just repair the moathouse?" and you see this mess and you go "oh yeah that makes sense." There's not much to say: it's a moathouse the Temple of Elemental Evil built as an outpost. It got destroyed when the Temple got shut down by the big alliance, and now it's despised and destroyed. It's faintly defiled land. Really the weird thing is that it's a full hour away in a marsh. I will spare you the Monty Python bit.

Going into the keying now:

The random table is interesting in that half of the encounters are actually not encounters at all, but rather random happenings. It's a messed up castle so it's echo-y and there's rats and it's still in the process of falling down.

There's something so simple about being jumped by frogs at the front gate. I always love the "drag the player by the frog's tongue" moment and I use it often in my own games.

This dungeon is working hard to communicate how messed up it is. Even the floor will give in on your mount, laming them. Mercifully, there's a chance of discovering bootprints to confirm you're not alone.

The bandits inside have a solid escape plan, and will use it if you look scary: bar the door and run through the hole in the wall into the marsh. It's nice to see clever bandits sometimes.

Not unlike Saltmarsh later, the top level is mostly deserted. It exists to get you off guard for the actual danger in the dungeon level. Physically accessing the basement is fairly easy, there is 1 access that you simply walk into from the big room, although a sister staircase gives you further reason to look for it.

The bottom level, by comparison, is just very stereotypically dungeon-y. There's torture chambers, miscellaneous monsters there through hiring or chance, torture chambers, et c.

The false door trap is so beautifully simple that I'm a little surprised it hasn't made more returns. Essentially a common door that, when opened, closes a portcullis behind the door and reveals a dead end on the other side. It's basically just a loud cage snapping shut. So many traps make no sense but this one is surprisingly simple: it's a gravity powered trap, controlled by a disguised winch elsewhere.

Tragically, Lareth's ambitious do not get much detail. He's the new hope of the Elemental cult but how or why he does this is not clear, just that he's underhanded and clever.

A strange and gross final note to end on: one of his pieces of loot is a phylactery, but not in the Lich sense -- it's an amulet-amulet. That you wrap around a cleric's arm. In fact, Lareth is specifically wearing it on his left arm, which strongly implies he's right-handed. I think this because, when Jewish folks wear real-life phylacteries, they wrap them around their non-dominant arm, and another around their head. Wait, so we have an evil cleric leading a secret cabal that is opposing a catholic saint by spying and infiltrating a community and leading monsters against them, and he is explicitly duplicitous and a talker and underhanded and greedy and in league with a demoness. The fact that Laerth is wearing the phylactery correctly implies that Gary knew exactly what it was. Gary, why did you strongly imply the evil cleric in charge of the evil cult of demon worshippers was Jewish? Gary, what the actual fuck? In hindsight, the bad jokes about Cuthbert scan as an inquisition joke, I was imagining a nun smacking a student with a ruler...

That's...a really bummer note to end on. I'm sorry. Next time, uh...White Plume Mountain, the funhouse dungeon? At least it'll be lighter...