#shoji okita
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thequeerranpokinnie · 2 months ago
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i'll be posting some (relationship/romantic) headcanons for a few different characters soon (im definitely writing for Chishiya from aib and Takahashi from Hanalei Bay, lmk if there's anyone else you'd like me to include, thanks in advance♡)
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ultimateask · 7 months ago
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Question for the teachers at Hope’s Peak Academy:
If monsters were under your beds, what would you do?
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mochiimiiki · 2 years ago
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| Hijikata Toshizō |
A/N: oh my sweet, sweet boy
Pairing: Hijikata x Chizuru
Summary: It’s been a long day, a long life. Hijikata is sick and tired of being called a demon. Is there anyone out there who doesn’t see him as one?
The name Hijikata could not be spoken without ‘Demon Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi’ following quickly after it. There was a point in time when Hijikata loathed the nickname, it was something that Okita used to taunt him. It was something others used to mock what the Shinsengumi stood for. But now? Now the name echoed throughout the streets of Kyoto, it begged passers-by to let them through. Now the mere utterance of the mock title brought fear into his enemies’ eyes. Now… he still hated it now.
He almost wanted the name to grow on him, like how one meets an annoying person and their traits (that you once found annoying) become endearing over time. The nickname did not. It stayed foul, always lingering with a bitter taste in his mouth.
His pen quickly brushed the paper, elegant letters cascading over thin sheets, black ink staining. Signed Hijikata Toshizō. He stared blankly at the paper. Briefly he pondered the tought of scribbling out his name and simply signing it ‘The Demon’. The thought made him frown harder. He couldn’t live up to the nickname, it was ridiculous people had dubbed him so the in the first. What, simply because he followed a strict regime and made sure to ensure the same ideals onto his men that suddenly made him a demon? He shook the thought from his mind. Nevermind that, he had more important things to focus on.
His attention, however dwindling, was disrupted by the gentle call of his name. “Hijikata-san? I’ve brought you some tea.”
“Come in.” Was his gruff response.
Now there was a person who no matter what always said his name with the utmost tenderness; Yukimura Chizuru. A smile threatened to tug on his lips as she gently laid the tea to rest beside his work table. Always the careful one. She idly poured the tea, her attention lazer sharp as though her very life depended on this tea. With a satisfied smile she met his waiting gaze. “Don’t work too hard.” She murmured before bowing politely, leaving the room with a swift exit through the shoji.
Hijikata’s gaze remained on the spot she’d disappeared from. The same smile from before finally curling on his lips. Yes, he might still hate the nickname but at the very least one person could say his actual name. And could say it with the sweetest smile.
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supreme-burrito · 3 years ago
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Bless the Lupin gods to have both a Jojo reference AND a Yakuza reference in the same shot
Left - Okita Shoji from Yakuza Ishin (probable)
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But the right is obviously Baron Zeppeli from Part 1
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sweet-pinkitty · 3 years ago
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shinsengumi-archives · 3 years ago
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The site of Okita Souji's death: the ruins of Uekiya Heigoro's house
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The detatched house on Uekiya Heigoro’s property, where Okita Souji recuperated and died, is located near the Daikyocho police box in Shinjuku Ward.
A little further from the actual place, there’s a signboard for "The Site of Okita Souji's Death" .
Here, I would like to introduce the place where Okita Souji passed away.
Addresses of the place where Okita Souji passed away
Address of the information board: 1 Naitomachi, Shinjuku-ku, Tokyo How to get there: 7 minutes walk from JR Sendagaya Station
Address near Uekiya's main building: 29-2 Daikyocho, Shinjuku-ku, Tokyo How to get there: 6 minutes walk from JR Sendagaya Station Parking Lot: None, coin parking nearby
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Map of the place where Okita Souji passed away
The modern-day ruins of Uekiya Heigoro's house where Okita Souji died
The information board is located at a distance from "the place where Okita Souji passed away"
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Information board marking the location of Okita Souji's death
Near the Daikyocho police box, a little further from the place where Uekiya Heigoro's house used to be, there is an information board for "The Site of Okita Souji's Death".
There was no display before, but it seems that it was made in 2014 by a volunteer group.
This is also the banks of the Tamagawa aqueduct.
The actual house of Uekiya Heigoro is located on the opposite side of the road toward Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden.
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Near the Fujimi Building, built on top of where the main building of Uekiya Heigoro's house used to be
It is said that the main building of Uekiya Heigoro's house was around the brown Fujimi Building.
Okita Souji died in the area.
There is a theory based on old maps that it may be located on the road that is now a highway, but that's just a theory.
The handrails of Ikejiri Bridge that was close to the Uekiya Heigoro house still remains
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The handrails of Ikejiri Bridge that remains next to the Fujimi Building
Uekiya Heigoro's house was next to the Ikejiri Bridge over the Tamagawa aqueduct. The stone handrails remain next to the Fujimi Building.
What kind of place was Uekiya Heigoro's home?
In Shimozawa Kan's "Shinsengumi Shimatsuki", based on the words of Kondo Yugoro (nephew and son-in-law of Isami Kondo):
There were many plum trees in the garden
There were wide fields and rice paddies
The building had a straw thatched roof
A tatami mat of about 8 or 10 tatami mats, and crude porches facing the south and east
The sun shined on the shoji doors all day long, and sometimes a bird flew by
And so on.
Currently, there's a main road passing next to it and the sound from the cars is noisy, but it seems that it was a quiet place at that time.
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Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden, the residence of the Naito clan of the Takato Domain in Shinshu (Shinano)
The current Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden, which is close to Heigoro's house, was the residence of the Naito clan of the Takato Domain, and the rest of the place was covered with fields and thickets. There was a water wheel over Tamagawa Aqueduct near the place where Okita Souji recuperated.
The neighboring Tamagawa Aqueduct has no water at the present, but until the Taisho era, it was a clear river, and spawning ayu fish, haya fish, and carp can be caught.
Also, it is a famous place for fireflies, and it seems that many fireflies flew in the summer until the time of WW2.
Okita Souji died on the 30th day of the 5th month, 1868, which is July 19, 1868, when converted to the Western calendar. Genji fireflies living by the riverside in the Kanto region glow from June to July in the Western calendar.
While recuperating away, Okita probably saw fireflies fly at night before he died.
The last days of Okita Souji
Okita Souji moved to Uekiya Heigoro's house
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The Imado Shrine where Okita Souji recuperated
After returning to Edo after the defeat at Toba-Fushimi, Okita Souji moved to Matsumoto Ryojun's western medicine school and the Imado Shrine for medical treatment.
After that, it's said that he moved to the house of Uekiya Heigoro in Sendagaya at the end of February.
There is also a record that the Shinsengumi paid for Okita Souji's medical treatment.
In the Shinsengumi's financial account book, Okita withdrawed money to pay a carpenter on February 26, and it's considered to be the repair cost for a detached house on Uekiya's property.
On 2/28 and 2/29, there is a record that more money was handed over to Okita Souji, marked as "pass to Okita" before the departure of the Koyo Chinbutai.  You can see that the corps covered expenses for Okita, who is undergoing medical treatment.
Theories that Okita went with the Koyo Chinbutai and theories that he did not go
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The entrance steps of Hinojuku Inn, which is said to be where Okita Souji performed shiko o fumu.
In the book “聞き書き新選組” written by Sato Hikogoro's grandson Sato Akira (Hijikata Toshizo's older sister's grandson), Okita Souji followed the Koyo Chinbutai on March 1st, and at the Hinojuku Inn, he said, "I'm still fine, as you can see." and supposedly imitated a sumo wrestler’s move called shiko o fumu.
After that, he became physically unwell, so he was entrusted to the Sekida family in Fuchu and moved to the Sendagaya district for medical treatment.
However, according to Kondo Yugoro (nephew and son-in-law of Kondo Isami), he arrived at the place of Uekiya Heigoro in Sendagaya at the end of February.
Since the departure of the Koyo Chinbutai is March 1, according to this theory, Okita Souji did not follow the Koyo Chinbutai.
Okita Souji's farewell to his sister Mitsu
Okita Souji's older sister, Mitsu's husband, Okita Rintaro, went to Tokyo as a Roshigumi member, but left Kyoto to return to Edo. After that, he became the head of the Shinchogumi, which was made up of former members of the Roshigumi, which came under the custody of the Shonai domain, and was patrolling the city of Edo.
However, in the 3rd month of Keio 4, the Shinchogumi was dismissed from the role of city guard and had to relocate to the Shonai domain. As the new government forces approached, it seems that it was also a meant to strengthen the defense of the home province (Shonai domain). Since Edo was expected to be engulfed in war, the Shinchogumi members were sent away with their wife and children.
There is no record of how Okita Souji and his sister Mitsu parted ways. Mitsu's departure to Shonai in 3rd month of Keio 4 was the final farewell between sister and brother.
After that, it is said that it was Uekiya's rice cooker who took care of Okita Souji.
Okita Souji going to play with Kondo Isami's wife and children
Kondo Isami's wife, Tsune, and his daughter, Tama, moved to Joganji Temple in Nakano after Kondo Isami joined the Koyo Rebellion Corps. Okita Souji, whose sister and friends have left Edo, often traveled to Joganji Temple in Nakano by kago (palanquin) and stayed there for many days.
Tsune left behind the words, "Okita-san came and coughed up blood."
Okita Souji did not know about Kondo Isami's death
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Kondo Isami's tomb in front of Itabashi Station
Kondo Isami was beheaded at Itabashi on the 25th day of the 4th month, Keio 4. According to one theory, Okita Souji was not informed of Kondo Isami's death by Uekiya Heigoro and others who were worried about the worsening of his condition.
"Why haven't I gotten a letter from Kondo-san?" (Okita Souji)
It is said that he was worried about Kondo Isami until the end.
With tuberculosis, excitement may cause seizures and coughing up blood, which can be fatal after the body is weakened, so it is said that they did not inform him about the death of Kondo Isami, who had been close like family from an early age.
The gunshots of the Ueno War that Okita Souji also heard
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The graves of Ueno Park and cherry blossoms at night
On the 15th day of the 5th month, Keio 4, half a month before Okita Souji's death, a clash between the Shogunate Army and the new government army occurred at the what is now Ueno Park. 
The gunshots at this time echoed throughout the city of Edo, and it is said that the fire that burned the temples and other places could be seen up to 20 ri (80 km or 50 mi) ahead even in the middle of the night.
Harada Sanosuke, who went to Aizu but returned to Edo, finally joined Shogitai and died two days after being seriously injured in the Battle of Ueno.
Okita Souji would not have known the death of Harada Sanosuke, and I don't know if he knew that Kondo Isami and Nagakura Shinpachi / Harada Sanosuke had broken up and acted separately in the first place.
However, he must have heard the gunshots in Sendagaya, and maybe he could see the sky bright at night in the direction of Ueno.
Okita Souji's death poem
The following are said to be the words of Okita Souji's death poem:
Until they fall, The darkness keeps them apart— Flowers and water
According to one theory, Hijikata Toshizo came to visit him and wrote the poem:
My heart is pure As I face my reflection In the water
This might have likened Okita Souji to the mirror-like water. Therefore, Okita’s death poem is said to be a a reply poem for this, that describes the sadness of being separated from his friends without being able to fight, meaning "If I don’t fight, Hijikata-san (or my friends) and I will be far apart."
However, there is little evidence that these are actually the words of Okita Souji's death poem, and there is a theory that it is a creation of posterity.
Okita Souji, the black cat, and his last words
There's an anecdote that the old rice-cooking woman who was taking care of Okita Souji told Okita Rintaro and Mitsu the story of a black cat after they returned from Shonai.
A few days before his death, Okita Souji tried to kill the black cat that came to the garden, but he couldn't because he was already weakened by tuberculosis. The next day he tried to cut him down again, but he couldn't.
After that, he collapsed and became unconscious, and spoke sleepily, "I bet that cat is here again...", which became his last words.
There is no other historical source to support this story, so I don't know how historically accurate it is.
However, in the Edo period, there was a superstition that "keeping a black cat cures tuberculosis", so it seems possible that there was a black cat near Okita Souji, a tuberculosis patient.
The date of Okita Souji's death and his posthumous Buddhist name
The date of Okita Souji's death is the 30th day of the 5th month, Keio 4 in the lunar calendar. Converted to the Western calendar, it would be July 19, 1868.
Since there are two theories about the year he was born, there are two theories about the age at which he died, but he died at the age of 25 or 27.
His posthumous Buddhist name is "賢��院仁誉明道居士".
Tomb of Okita Souji
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The temple dedicated with the tomb of Okita Souji
The tomb of Okita Souji is located at Senshoji Temple in the Minato Ward. It is not open to the public because there were incidents such as a radical fans scraping the tombstone. You can visit the grave once a year unless you're a priest.
Okita Souji's tomb is under a small roof that was set up to prevent weathering in later years. The front is engraved with his posthumous Buddhist name.
Two theories about the place where Soji Okita died
The theory of the Imado Shrine as the place of Okita Souji's death
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The monument of Okita Souji's death at Imado Shrine
At Imado Shrine in the Taito Ward, there is a monument called "Okita Souji's Demise" . This is from the diary written by Nagakura Shinpachi:
"At Imado Hachiman in Edo, he died of illness while staying with Matsumoto Ryojun-sensei"
The monument is based on this description. 
"Imado Hachiman" is the old name of Imado Shrine.
Matsumoto Ryojun, the doctor in charge of Okita Souji, rented space in the precincts of Imado Shrine.
It is known that Okita Souji was moved to Matsumoto Ryojun's house at Imado Shrine after staying at the Western Medicine School after the defeat at Toba-Fushimi.
Previously this theory was widespread. However, Nagakura Shinpachi was not in Edo at the time of Okita Souji's death, so he probably wrote it by guessing or listening to what others say.
The theory of Uekiya Heigoro's house as the place of Okita Souji's death
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Flowers blooming at the banks of the Tamagawa aqueduct
The theory that the detatched house on Uekiya Heigoro's property is his place of death was first introduced by Shimozawa Kan based on what he heard from Kondo Yugoro (nephew of Kondo Isami).
"He rented Uekiya's detached room in the suburbs of Sendagaya, and moved there by palanquin." ("Shinsengumi Imon" (新選組異聞) by Shimozawa Kan)
However, Shimozawa Kan was a novelist, and although he quoted primary sources in his book, he was initially dismissed because of the dramatization and parts that differed from historical facts.
However, in 1994, the "Yoshinoya Document" (吉野家文書) left by Yoshino Taizo of Mitaka was found.
Yoshino Taizo was a Tennen Rishin-ryu master who had a close relationship with Kondo Yugoro. After interviewing Kondo Yugoro on Meiji 22, he wrote:
"Okita Souji was a disciple of Kondo Isami, and a vassal of the Oshu Shirakawa Domain Abe Clan. He died of illness in Sendagaya, Tokyo right before the Meiji era." ("Yoshino Family Document" Yoshino Taizo)
As a result, the theory that Okita Souji's deathplace was Sendagaya came to be regarded as the truth.
Kondo Yugoro lived with Kondo Isami's wife and child, and it's believed that Okita Souji went to Joganji Temple in Nakano to meet Kondo Isami's wife and child. It's judged to be more credible than the words of Nagakura Shinpachi written by guesswork or rumors because the words were left by a person who was actually in Edo at that time and met Okita Souji who was undergoing medical treatment.
For this reason, it is now believed that "the deathplace of Okita Souji is the detatched house on Uekiya Heigoro's property in Sendagaya."
Imado was a place where he was recuperating before moving to Sendagaya, and it seems that Nagakura Shinpachi only knew that much and wasn't aware of his move to Uekiya's home.
Who is Uekiya Heigoro?
Uekiya Heigoro, also called Shibata Heigoro, was a daimyo family purveyor's tree planter, who also went in and out of the daimyo family's garden. It’s not clear why Okita Souji decided to move in to the detached house on his property.
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underratedcharactercorner · 3 years ago
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sabraeal · 3 years ago
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Whenever I view the moon on the battlefield
[Read on AO3]
Written for @bubblesthemonsterartist, on the occasion of her becoming older than me once again. Old as dirt really. Practically middle aged...😂
It had snowed the night before.
Kai can taste it; it’s a sharp bite in his nose, a vivid chill on his tongue. There’s nothing to show for it now; the engawa creaks beneath his tabi, but there’s no crunch, no wetness to tell it was once there. Only the lingering scent remains, and only for those who know to look for it.
Hah, reminds him of someone he knows. Oh, how it would annoy him to hear it, to hear his shadow wrapped in strokes and made solid on the page. Maybe he would whisper it in the Vice-Commander’s ear one day; at least then that bit of poetry could come from a welcome mouth.
He takes in another breath, the cold burning deep in his lungs, and-- ah, it’s not just winter on the air today, but something else. A buzz, a jangle of bells; something dissonant with the usual bustle and boom of the compounds. This is a place filled to the rafters with young men; it should be boisterous, a raucous din of swords clashing and chatter threading through the air, but instead--
Instead it is silent. Kai is not one to put a hand to hilt, not when there is no reason to draw, but in this loud lack, he considers it.
Kai is not a small man; we could put you in the ring, Nagakura would tell him when his wallet no longer made the sweet music it ought, really give those sumo a run for their money, eh, Raki-san? He would laugh-- what man wouldn’t, when Nagakura rolled his words in his mouth, undaunted by sake or sense-- but it was true he was of a size with those men, that he could make the ground thunder under his feet should he choose it.
But when he paces the engawa now, no boards sing beneath his feet. Sound is a choice, but silence takes practice, takes precision. Babes are born into this world wailing, but it takes a lifetime to learn how to stifle a step, how to sit with a quiet mind and a calm heart. When they write of him, they will say that Shimada Kai moved mountains when he walked, but only the Watch will know that he could breathe so slowly that dust would lie still.
Well, the Watch and Gen, who slides open the shoji with a sigh, wiping at his tonsure with a grimace, and promptly jumps.
“Shimada-san,” he laughs, weakly. “I didn’t hear you coming.”
Kai would assure him that he wouldn’t be the first, but considering his reputation, he doubts that will be much of a comfort. Besides, this is hardly the first time he’s caught one of the captains unaware. I’m going to put bells on you, the Vice-Commander told him more than once, frowning at his spilt tea, then at least I’ll know you’re coming before your shadow arrives.
There’s voices coming from behind the paper; the Vice-Commander’s low, intense rumble is one of them, as well as Okita’s higher, prodding tones. The two of them sharing a room without shouting was rare enough, but for Gen to have subjected himself to it-- “There’s a meeting of the captains?”
Gen’s men call him stern, an exacting task master as relentless as any dojo’s sensei-- but they never fail to remark upon his kindness either, nor the open warmth his smile radiates, like the gentle heat off a hibachi. Expressive, a learned man might say; it makes him a good captain, a lethal warrior, and a terrible diplomat.
“Ah...” His mouth pulls tight, a grimace that flashes before he is able to school his face. “Yes. Er, or should I say, among some. There was quite a commotion last night.”
“A commotion?” It had been Okita in that room and the Vice-Commander. It would be a necessity to have Kondo as well, to keep them from nipping at each other’s throats. Captains, with Gen but one among them, but not all-- the arithmetic alone makes his blood run cold. “You mean with the Furies.”
The word alone sets Gen’s face slack, his eyes pulsing wide as he searches the courtyard, fearing the ears that might hear them, unwitting. “Yes,” he replies slowly. “Two ran free last night.”
If Shimada cussed, he would be sorely tempted to do so now. “There were bodies then? Has Yamazaki-kun--?”
“Toshi sent him out last night,” Gen assures him. “Just after he returned with Saito and Souji. There will be nothing for anyone to find when they wake this morning.”
He would be back soon, then. Dawn leaked over the horizon, lazy as it always was in these last few winter months. “Then why have the captains met?”
Gen’s breath tumbles into the air, troubled. “There was a witness.”
“A witness?” Kai shifts, restless. That would make things complicated-- or simple, depending. With their luck, however...well, anticipating the worst made more answers seem sweet.
“It’s a boy, barely more than a child.” Every word bobs heavily between them, weighed down by Gen’s disapproval. “We’ve had him in custody since last night.”
“Even a child can hold a knife.” Something a man who knew Okita as a boy should know, if half of what he’s heard is true. “And those that can’t have eyes and tongue still.”
“You would say that,” There’s no heat behind Gen’s words, just a reluctant fondness. “But you still let them beg you for candy in the marketplace.”
Ah, he would bring that up. “Even a child can hold a knife,” Kai blusters, “but that doesn’t mean every one does.”
“Then you see what I mean.” Gen shuffles down the engawa, casting a thin scowl toward the shoji. “This boy’s cheeks are smooth, not a threat of stubble on them, and yet we have him bound hand and foot like some common criminal. And all because he had no choice but to witness...”
His words stumble, but Kai does not need to hear them to know just what those child’s eyes have seen. Yamazaki may be the one that cleans up after the Fury’s missteps, but he has seen what their bloodlust leaves behind. Pieces, never enough to be made into a whole; hardly enough to throw into furnace for ashes.
“Toshi wants me to bring him,” Gen mutters when Kai matches his recalcitrant pace. “A boy not old enough for a razor, but they’ll interrogate him to see what he knows.”
“No.” The answer rattles around in his chest, hollow. “They want to know what he thinks he’s seen.”
“They might as well ask a man asleep in his bed for all the good it will do them.” Gen’s mouth is little more than a blade’s edge, hardly parting as he grits out, “Fear paints uncertain memories, and the terror this boy must have witnessed...”
Kai does not speak, but in his silence, he agrees. The Vice Commander could fire his barrage of questions, as relentless as any Black Ship, but for a child to remember anything but the beating of his heart as he waited to die-- he would be a true warrior, not to be wasted on Okita’s blade.
“It won’t be so bad,” Gen says with a wave of his hand, as if the movement alone could banish their concerns. “Heisuke is of an age with him. You know he could hardly stand to see a potential comrade in distress.”
True enough. Shinpachi used to tease him about Serizawa’s page; to hear him tell it, the boy had barely awoken before Heisuke asked him to call him by the same, bandying about the name Ryunnoske like they were brothers rather than strangers. He doesn’t, not anymore, not since...
Well, perhaps this time Heisuke would not be so quick to adopt a stray. Not when the last had hardly washed clean from the river’s shore.
“And Shinpachi-san and Sano-san won’t suffer it either.” Gen’s voice bubbles brightly, like the sunshine over a still river’s rapids, danger lurking just beneath the surface. “They might sit quiet now, but once they see this child...”
That, Kai doubted. Both were good men, but they made better warriors. Perhaps if this boy were as pitiful as Gen claimed, he would have the right of it. But otherwise, his age might work against him; boy he might be to men such as them, but to two that were used to thinking of Heisuke as an equal rather than a child--
“Okita will want to kill him,” Kai reminds him instead; the largest danger. Shinpachi and Sano would bend whichever way the Vice Commander’s wind would blow, but Okita is ruled by his own whims-- or Kondo’s word. And Kai knew which of those were faster.
“There’s few enough men he doesn’t,” Gen grumbles. “He can say what he wishes. I doubt his word will carry much weight among the captains, after...”
Everything. The Shinsegumi’s name might be new enough to shine, but already it is smeared with blood, and most of it from Okita’s blade. No one would be eager to follow his lead, not when Serizawa’s influence sat heavy on him as a yoke.
Gen hesitates, steps stilling on the boards. “You’ll watch for him, won’t you?” He turns his head over his shoulder. “Yamazaki-kun, I mean. Toshi will want to speak to him, once all this is...decided.”
Between a body and a hostage, he means. “I will,” Kai promises. “We will be ready, when it’s time.”
One way or the other.
Kai knows better to linger when Gen brings the boy out-- he needs to make a show of normalcy, of everything being what his men expect to see, even if Shinpachi is not there to drill them when they stumble from their quarters, bleary-eyed and cotton-mouthed. He does, however, catch a glimpse later when he lingers at Nagi’s well. 
The boy’s a narrow thing, undersized, not dressed in the more subdued kimono of the emperor’s dictates, but a pale salmon. Not that it makes him strange among the men here, but still-- it’s odd, as is his lack of haori, and the way his hakama sit on his hips. There’s something strange in the way he walks too, in the flexibility of his spine, but Kai can’t put his finger on it, the answer just out of reach.
“There was a witness.”
He does not startle as Gen did; instead Kai peers up at the roof, gaze catching on the shadow that doesn’t sit right until it resolves into a man instead. Yamazaki isn’t a small man-- though he’s not tall either-- but he seems it crouched there, dressed in unrelenting back.
“There was,” Kai confirms, “but the captains mean to keep him.”
Yamazaki nods, eyes too serious above the cloth of his mask. “Until they know what he knows.”
Yamazaki had always been serious; Kai noticed it that first day in Nagi house, when they swore to uphold the name of the Roshigumi. Such gravity is not often seen the young; it marked him to Kai’s eye, made it easy to take him on as a colleague in the Watch, despite their difference in ages. But he had hoped, as he watched this young man take his first stumbling steps toward friendship, that it would lighten him, give him back some of the boy he still should be.
Whatever youth Ibuki had brought out in him, there’s no trace of it left now. All that remains is that stern intensity, that arrow-like focus.
It makes him afraid. Not of Yamazaki-- he is not the sort of man one needs to fear without reason-- but for him. He’s too young to throw himself away on the dreams of other men, but it’s useless to tell him so. At his age, Kai would have been much the same.
“Yamazaki, perhaps--”
There is a commotion in the courtyard; one loud enough that his hand is on his hilt before his thoughts catch up to him. The captains have converged already, all of them on a single door, and he can’t imagine why, until--
Until he catches that glimpse of salmon, and the wide, determined eyes of their captive.
“Idiot,” Yamazaki grumbles. “Who would try to escape when they know they have the notice of the Vice Commander?”
“I don’t think...” Kai slows his tongue to match his thoughts. “I don’t think he did. I think...he doesn’t know he’s of interest at all. He hardly even knows what he saw, let alone what it means.”
The air prickles with silence.
“Enough,” Yamazaki says, decisively. “He saw enough.”
By the time the Vice Commander calls for them, Yamazaki has changed into his jinbei; no longer the lethal ninja, but a mild-mannered acupuncturist. Still, it does not change the intensity his eyes take when he kneels across from Hijikata, nor the way his hands clench at his pants.
His head bows. “Vice Commander.”
“Shimada. Yamazaki. Thank you for handling our problem last night.” A faint smile lingers around his lips, but with his next breath, it’s gone. “But I’m about to hand you another one.”
Yamazaki jerks up at that, eyes pulled wide. “Sir?”
Every word is sour when Hijikata replies, “We’re keeping the girl.”
A pin could drop, and they all would hear it.
“Girl?” Kai’s voice lifts an octave. “You mean that the boy was--?”
“A poorly disguised girl? Yes. And that’s not all.” His mouth pulls thin with distaste. “She’s Kodo’s daughter.”
Were it in him to goggle, Yamazaki would. “Yukimura-sensei’s...?”
“Yes.” The word twists wryly in the air. “Quite the coincidence, isn’t it?”
Kai shifts restlessly on his knees. “Then does she know--?”
“She doesn’t know a damned thing about Kodo’s whereabouts,” he spits out, mouth rumpled in an irritated knot. “To hear her tell it, it’s been a year since she’s heard a single word. Came all the way down from Edo to look for him.”
“Alone?” Kai asks, too sharp.
Hijikata’s brows lift. “That’s what she said. She was coming down here to find Matsumoto, see if he’d heard anything since him and her dad were old friends. But apparently he’s out of town, and she’s out of luck.”
Kodo Yukimura’s daughter showing up on their doorstep mere weeks after his house burned to the ground with not a body to be found... it’s too good a story to be true, too convenient. Still, Kai find himself believing it, believing this girl he’s only seen a glimpse of.
Hijikata sighs into their silence, leaning an arm against his desk to lounge. “Sanan thinks that if we keep her here, Kodo might finally peek that shiny head out from where he’s hiding.”
“Do you think she’ll cooperate?” Yamazaki asks, every word dripping with doubt.
“Maybe. She’s quiet enough.” The Vice Commander huffs out a laugh. “Well, except when she tried to sneak out. But to be fair, I wouldn’t stick around if Souji said he’d kill me either.”
Yamazaki goes rigid at the sound of that name, knuckles blanching on his knees. Still, he stays silent.
“For the record, I don’t think the girl lying,” Hijikata mutters, already ill tempered from the thought. “But as long as we keep her, I want you two to keep an eye on her.”
“But Vice Commander--”
“Yamazaki.” The name cracks like a whip from Hijikata’s tongue. “Are you questioning my orders?”
He squirms on his knees, mouth bowing into a frown. “N-no, Vice Commander.”
“Good.” Hijikata’s mouth twitches. “Her identity stays between us. The men don’t need to know there’s a woman among us, no matter how she’s dressed.”
Kai considers that. “But if she’s meant to stay here, at Yagi House...”
“She’ll need a better cover. I know.” If anything, the Vice Commander turns...petulant. “Souji had the bright idea of putting her as my page, and Kondo thought it was a good idea--” the implication in his tone that he did not agree was impossible to miss-- “so make sure that’s the story that circulates.”
He nods. “Of course.”
“Good, then you’re both dismissed. And Yamazaki?”
The boy perks up, eager as any dog for his master. “Yes, Vice Commander?”
Hijikata hesitates, his face growing lean and wary, the way a hunter’s does before the hunt. “If she runs, you have my permission to deal with her.”
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talesofedo · 4 years ago
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Prompt - Hugs ...
Saito still hadn't slept by the time Okiyo came into the room with hot tea the next morning. He'd spent the remainder of the night sitting beside Soji's bed, worrying, until he'd eventually rested his head against the futon, sleepy with exhaustion, and closed his eyes. But still it wasn't really sleep because every little movement, every change in Okita's breathing, woke him again.
This wasn't lost on Okiyo, who surveyed him with an air of concern while she poured tea into a cup and mixed it with an envelope of the medication that bore his name. "Drink it," she said, pressing the cup into his hand. "You need to rest."
"No." He tried handing it back. "What if I'm asleep if..."
"You are both as stubborn as small children," she sighed. "I will be right here, in the room, catching up on my sewing. If anything happens, I will wake you. But you need to sleep. You're no good to him exhausted like this. Drink the tea."
Saito obediently put the cup to his lips and sipped the hot, bitter liquid before laying down. Yet sleep still didn't come easily. His head was buzzing with worry, a veritable beehive of thoughts playing and replaying. One thing that came to the forefront often was a conversation he had had with Dr. Matsumoto. The doctor had tried to prepare him gently but in no uncertain terms that it wouldn't be long before Soji's bad days would no longer be followed by good ones. And no matter how hard he tried to push that thought from his mind, it just wouldn't leave him alone.
...
"Hajime?"
Saito startled awake into semi-darkness, realizing the shoji to the garden were closed, making it difficult to tell how much time had passed since he'd laid down. He felt disoriented, heavy with sleep still, but he remembered clearly that someone had called him by name just now.
He sat up and saw Soji reaching his hand out for him.
"I'm right here," Saito said, putting his hand on Soji's shoulder, rubbing it gently. "Are you alright? Do you need anything?"
Soji gave him a small smile. "I'm so glad you slept. I'm sorry I worried you."
But his smile faded, and he reached up to wipe away tears that had quietly started running down his cheeks. He covered his face with his hands as if embarrassed, and for a while neither of them spoke.
When Soji lowered his hands again, Saito wiped his face for him. He didn't know what to say.
"I..." Soji started and then stopped again, looking down at his hands which were twisting into each other on the blanket, even though by now he had no feeling in them at all. He took a shaky breath. "Help me sit up? Please?"
Saito carefully helped him up and Soji leaned into him, resting his head against Saito's shoulder like he had many times before during nights he couldn't breathe or on days he felt too weak to hold himself up anymore. But this time felt different. Saito could feel Soji's body trembling and wrapped his arms tightly around him to hold him close. He was so thin under the cotton cloth of his yukata that Saito could feel the vertebrae of his spine against his fingers, and he wondered whether the shaking was from being cold, in pain, exhausted, or some other reason. Soji felt so small and fragile against his own body.
"I'm scared." He spoke the words so quietly, Saito almost didn't hear them. "I don't want to die. I'm scared. Please don't leave me alone."
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goldenlaquer · 4 years ago
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okita and sakata!reader headcanons? like shes really obvious to whatever okita is trying to do ans gin is just instant big bro mode isk
OLDER BROTHER GINTOKI OLDER BROTHER GINTOKI
Okita Sougo Headcanons: 
Oh, Okita has a death wish alright. A death wish written and signed by Sakata Gintoki himself, because the older man really will beat the shit out of him, Shinsengumi captain or not. 
Even Hijikata’s like, “Bro, why?”
Okita just shrugs and continues to chase after you, pinching your nose so you can’t breathe, tugging at your earlobes whenever he passes by you, shooting his bazooka in your general direction, making you look at him and only him. And saddest part of it all, is that you have the cognitive ability of a rock, so Okita is going to rinse and repeat until you get the hint. 
But the most damning obstacle in his path is a man that can’t remember his name and has the nose of hellhound when it comes to you. 
“Shoji,” Gintoki drawls, his arm going around Okita’s neck in a friendly gesture. “Why don’t you go swim in another pond, huh? The pretty fish in this one is being guarded by a very large and very powerful lake spirit, you wouldn’t want to-- I don’t know-- make that spirit mad, huh? 
“It’s Sougo,” Okita replies. “And, boss, you’re squeezing my neck too hard.”
Okita, of course, doesn’t head Gintoki’s thinly-veiled warnings and if he’s going to die by the hands of one protective older brother, so be it, Okita’s going to stand his ground with his sword until his last breathe, like some sordid romance novel hero. 
If anything, Okita’s unwavering perseverance does impress Gintoki, but on the other hand, he really doesn’t want some sadist (takes one to know one, Gintoki) touching his baby sister. 
Gintoki knows that you’re an adult and you can make your own decisions, and if the day comes that you finally realize that Okita is the one for you, he’s not going to like it, but he’ll eventually, eventually come around to it. 
That’s for the future, but for now, Okita is going to chase after you like a love-sick fool, and Gintoki is going to watch, with one hand on his wooden sword and veins in his forehead popping. 
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kondo-hijikata · 4 years ago
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Pairings: Okita/Chizuru, Kondo/Hijikata, Kondo & Okita, Kondo & Chizuru Rating: T Summary: Before leaving for the battle of Koufu Castle, Kondo pays a visit to the house Okita and Chizuru are staying in to see their faces one last time. [AO3]
This story is just over 5k, so I’ve posted a little of the first part. If you’d like to keep reading, please head over to AO3. Thank you!
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.*Where the Loyalty Lies*.
Kondo stood before a wooden gate, his chin tilted up and eyes searching jagged tree branches smattered with green leaves. The start of March was much too early for flowers to be in blossom, but he’d hoped to see them once more in Edo—hoped to see them here, at this small house with its tiny front garden. Fate would have it differently, however, and he was but a mortal bound to its whims.
He shook his head and stepped forward, the gate creaking when he pushed it aside. Ensuring it closed properly once through, Kondo turned at the sound of a small gasp, and his face warmed instantly.
“Yukimura-kun.”
Chizuru had clutched the open doorway and once she heard her name, pushed herself from it in a near bound over the threshold, her feet slipping into sandals and clopping against the circular stone path. “Kondo-san!”
Regarding her fondly, he lifted a light string-tried package and placed it in her hands. “You’re looking very well! It’s good to see you.”
“Mm!! Oh!” Her eyes fell shut and she bowed her head quickly, lifting the package in gratitude. “Thank you so much. You didn’t have to bring anything!”
Still kind as ever, wasn’t she?
“I thought I heard the gate, so I came to look and…” The thought left unfinished, Chizuru sighed and hugged the gift gently to her chest. “I’m so happy you’ve come to visit!”
Kondo nodded graciously. “You’ve really done me a great favor by staying here, Yukimura-kun.”
A vehement shake of the head followed, and a hum in the negative. “Not at all!”
“How is he?”
Chizuru swallowed, her features instantly growing serious at the inquiry. “Okita-san is sleeping right now, but his condition…” Brow furrowing further, she curled his lips in.
“It hasn’t changed.” Kondo’s shoulders lowered and his mouth set in a grim line. “I see.” Such an answer was to be expected, but having to hear it never got any easier.
“I’ve been making sure he eats as much as he can and rests.” She exhaled through her nose. “But still, sometimes he tries to train in the yard and it—” A pause. “It doesn’t usually end well.”
Kondo’s lashes fell in a soft huff, muttering sarcastically beneath his breath, “I wonder where he learned that stubbornness…”
“Kondo-san, please don’t misunderstand.” Spine straightening, Chizuru’s eyes grew determined. “Okita-san is very, very strong and I believe in him. I would never speak badly of him, but his body has certain limits now that his mind just can’t seem to obey. He often talks of rejoining you, and please know there’s nothing either of us would like more, but…”
A warm hand pressed to Chizuru’s shoulder before getting ahead of herself. “Understood, Yukimura-kun,” Kondo said gently. “Maybe if I talk to him?”
“I think it would be a great help.” She lowered her head again in respect for the favor. “Please.” When her face lifted, she gestured toward the small abode. “But for now, please come in. I’ll put some tea on.”
“I take it you’re still making the best tea in the country?”
Her cheeks flushed slightly and she merely shook her head, leading the short way up the walk. “How is your wound? And the others? Hijikata-san?”
At first, Kondo grinned at the barrage of questions. “My shoulder is healing well. As for Toshi, the ages change, but he doesn’t. And the others…” It was then that the smile’s luster faded and his expression fell somber. “It’s a very complicated time, Yukimura-kun. The war is coming to a pivotal point.”
A distant despondency was present in her voice. “I see…” Surely, there was more she’d wished to ask from the way her reply trailed off, but it seemed for now her tongue would be held.
When they reached the porch, each pivoted a half-circle to remove their shoes properly and stepped up. Chizuru officially welcomed Kondo into the home, and ever the one for polite tradition, he excused himself for interrupting her day.
“I’ll go and wake him—”
“Ah—” Kondo’s hand raised. “Please don’t. I’d rather he rest, and I have plenty of time. But I also don’t want to trouble you, so I won’t mind waiting outside.”
She breathed in sharply then. “Oh. A visit from you would never be a burden, Kondo-san. Please, let me show you to the sitting room. Okita-san would want you to be comfortable, and I certainly do too.”
Two pairs of socked feet padded down the hall and the inner shoji opened to a space filled with sunlight. A table and two zabuton cushions rested on the tatami, and Chizuru held a hand out for Kondo to sit. She carefully slid the outer doors open so they wouldn’t make too much noise along the track, and excused herself to brew the promised tea.
Alone, Kondo sat seiza before the table and looked around. The house was old and sparsely decorated, but Chizuru had done well keeping it clean and tidy. Hanging on the wall near a closet was the red flag of sincerity—the hallmark and banner of the Shinsengumi—and seeing it inspired a warmth to spread in Kondo’s chest.
Chizuru had been brought into all of their lives by some incidental whim, and quickly became one of them: a fellow servant to Tokugawa and a genuine friend to all. Now, as Kondo had spent the last days in deliberation at Edo Castle and the rest of his men lay in wait for official battle orders, she was still an invaluable help; without her, Okita would be saddled with some unfamiliar attendant (or perhaps, correctly, that attendant would be saddled with him), and that could only end in disaster.
He closed his eyes, listening to the porch chime jingling softly in the breeze—listened to the singing of birds and a cat crying in the distance. How pleasant it was here, and peaceful…how so far removed from the miseries that had been endured and would continue to be. Gen-san would have liked such a quiet place, and Yamazaki-kun as well.
Their losses cut deeply; their deaths would never not bring a crushing heaviness to Kondo’s chest, would never not mar his heart with an unbearable hurt. Yet, these irreplaceable two wouldn’t be the last to slip through his hands like sand in the wind, not by far. Especially not now.
Katsu Kaishu’s decree had been final; the Shinsengumi was to be renamed to Kouyo-Chinbutai and then deployed to take Koufu Castle from Satcho hold. Even if they’d managed to recruit on the way, Kondo’s forces would be, at best, outnumbered by ten-to-one. It was clear there was no longer any need for him or his men—not here in the east, after the shogun abdicated without so much of a fight. Katsu had therefore stripped them of their beloved identity with a new meaningless name, and given the commander and his loyal followers a battlefield to die on.
They would begin moving out toward this graveyard in just four days. Four days: to get all affairs aligned, to neaten up anything that required final attentions, to see the people who should be seen… And that’s what had brought Kondo here on this afternoon.
It was imperative that he spend time with Okita and Chizuru to have the memories to savor, but also not give away too many details about why. Until his diagnosis, Okita had been at his side since the Shieikan days, and though the years didn’t match, Kondo thought of him as a son. He’d grown up under his watch, learned about the blade and the world from him, followed him all the way to Kyoto to lend his sword…
If Okita were to know of the new orders, he would surely demand to rush into battle in his fragile condition, and therefore right into the arms of a premature death. Kondo didn’t want that—not for any of his men, and certainly not for the one he’d practically raised.
The breeze whispered by again and he turned his face toward the door. When his lashes parted, it was to the image of a brilliant white in the garden and the breath caught in his throat. Kondo stood and walked slowly across the tatami to the porch, his eyes focused on a single flower that had blossomed early. The petals were fully open, the pistil golden and heavily dusted with pollen.
One flower had defied all the odds. One flower had become the miracle of the garden.
Kondo crossed his arms and silently mused upon it, until Chizuru poked her head in the open inner doorway.
“Kondo-san, excuse me.”
He turned to see her lips pulling into a soft smile.
“Okita-san is awake.”
~
To continue reading, please head over to AO3. Thank you!
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cannondisabledcharacters · 4 years ago
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Gintama often has historical people, but their names are changed and their stories altered somewhat. Like the real Okita Mitsuba didn't have tuberculosis and had the name Mitsu instead. In real life her brother Shoji, Sougo in Gintama, was the one with tuberculosis. There's also many characters based on legendary/folk tale people in it, like Sakata Gintoki is based on the famous Sakata Kintoki aka Kintaro & Yagyuu Kyuubei based on Yagyuu Juubei etc. It spoofing actual events is pretty fun too xD
That seems fine
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reignsan · 5 years ago
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Which Fate author made your favorite Servant?
Most of this list comes from Material books. Some of it comes from interviews. Please note that we don’t know every Servants creator, but I listed all the ones I could find.
Servants are listed in numerical order based on GO’s in-game list.
I am not listing Servants who are not in GO because that’d make this list even longer than it already is.
If a character is in GO but is not listed here I couldn’t find who created them. The Material books currently end at Fujino, so unless it’s really obvious Servants after her probably won’t have a known creator.
If a character was a collaborate effort they will be listed under both authors.
Kinoko Nasu: Stay Night, Hollow Ataraxia, Extra, Extra CCC, Prototype, FGO’s Fuyuki, Camelot, Babylonia, Solomon, and India chapters
Mash
Artoria
Nero
Siegfried (collab with Higashide)
Saber Gilles de Rais
Altera (collab with Sakurai)
Emiya
Gilgamesh
Robin Hood
Euryale (collab with Sakurai)
Cu Chulainn
Elizabeth Bathory
Medusa
Ushiwakamaru (collab with Higashide)
Andersen
Mozart
Lord El-Melloi II (but apparently Zhuge Liang’s powers were by Higashide)
Sasaki Kojirou
Hassan of the Cursed Arm
Stheno (collab with Sakurai)
Heracles
Lancelot
Lu Bu
Tamamo
Jeanne
Drake
Scathach
Diarmuid (collab with Urobuchi)
Nursery Rhyme
Mordred (collab with Higashide)
Solomon
Karna
Mysterious Heroine X
Ryougi Shiki
Li Shuwen
Angra Mainyu
Kiritsugu
Hassan of the Hundred Faces (collab with Urobuchi)
Raikou (collab with Sakurai)
Ibaraki (collab with Sakurai)
Gawain
Bedivere
Cleopatra (collab with Sakurai)
Vlad III (Fate/Extra version)
Ishtar
Enkidu (collab with Narita)
Quetzalcoatl (collab with Sakurai)
Jaguar Man (he made Taiga, but apparently Jaguar was a collab with Sakurai)
Merlin
King Hassan
Emiya Alter (collab with Higashide)
Arthur
Meltryllis
Passionlip
Suzuka Gozen
BB
Kiara
Parvati
Ereshkigal
Asagami Fujino
Kingprotea
this one isn’t confirmed but most likely Kama given he wrote her debut story and she’s a Sakura pseudo
Gen Urobuchi: Zero, FGO’s China chapter
Caster Gilles de Rais
Spartacus
Vlad III (Fate/Apocrypha version)
Diarmuid (collab with Nasu)
Iskandar
Hassan of the Hundred Faces (collab with Nasu)
Irisviel? I can’t find anything but I mean it’d make sense, she’s from Zero and wasn’t mentioned in FSN.
Yuuichiro Higashide: Apocrypha, Extella Link, FGO’s Orleans, Okeanos, America, Shinjuku, and Russia chapters. It is important to note that several of Higashide’s characters were from the scrapped beta plans for Apocrypha, which was originally going to be an online game like what GO is. A lot of authors made characters for it that got scrapped, and then when Higashide was hired to turn Apo into a book instead of a game he picked the scraps up and altered their abilities/personalities a bit, making them half his character and half the original’s.
Atalanta (Original scrapped profile for Apocrypha’s beta from Complete Material IV was by Jinroku Myougaya. Higashide revived her for Apocrypha)
Siegfried (collab with Nasu)
Benkei (Original scrapped profile for Apocrypha’s beta from Complete Material IV was by Jinroku Myougaya. Higashide revived him for FGO)
Leonidas
Georgios (Original scrapped profile for Apocrypha’s beta from Complete Material IV was by Kiyomune Miwa. Higashide revived him for FGO)
Blackbeard
Ushiwakamaru (collab with Nasu)
Shakespeare (Original scrapped profile for Apocrypha’s beta from Complete Material IV was by Shoji Gatoh. Higashide revived him for Apocrypha)
Mephistopholes
Zhuge Liang (El-Melloi personality by Nasu)
Jing Ke
Sanson
Mata Hari
Carmilla
Asterios
Kiyohime
Eric Bloodaxe
Orion and Artemis
Hektor
Anne and Bonny
Jack the Ripper
Mordred (collab with Nasu)
Arjuna
Beowulf
Amakusa Shirou Tokisada
Rama
Thomas Edison
Geronimo
Billy the Kid
Tristan
Moriarty
Emiya Alter (collab with Nasu)
Hessian Lobo
Yan Qing
Hozoin Inshun
Osakabehime
Semiramis
Avicebron
Achilles
Chiron
Sieg (but the idea for him was proposed by Nasu)
Hikaru Sakurai: Prototype Fragments, Extella, FGO’s Septem, London, Shimousa, and Gotterdammerung chapters
Caesar
Altera (collab with Nasu)
Chevalier d’Eon
Euryale (collab with Nasu)
Arash
Romulus
Boudica
Ushiwakamaru (collab with Nasu)
Marie Antoinette
Martha
Stheno (collab with Nasu)
Phantom of the Opera
Kintoki  (Original scrapped profile for Apocrypha’s beta from Complete Material IV was by Jin Haganeya. Sakurai revived him for FGO)
Caligula
Darius III
Fergus
Nikola Tesla
Paracelsus
Babbage
Jekyll and Hyde
Fionn
Brynhild
Dantès
Nightingale
Medb
Helena
Shuten-douji
Sanzang
Raikou (collab with Nasu)
Ibaraki (collab with Nasu)
Ozymandias
Nitocris
Hassan of Serenity
Da Vinci (I’m surprised, I expected Nasu given how important Da Vinci is)
Cleopatra (collab with Nasu)
Quetzalcoatl (collab with Nasu)
Jaguar Man (collab with Nasu, apparently)
Holmes
Tomoe Gozen
Chiyome
Yagyu Munenori
Kato Danzo
Sigurd (collab with Meteo)
Ryogo Narita: Fate/Strange Fake
Enkidu (collab with Nasu)
Meteo Hoshizora: Fate/Requiem, FGO’s Salem chapter
Astolfo
Frankenstein
David
Mysterious Heroine X Alter
Circe
Neza
Queen of Sheba
Abigail Williams
Hokusai
Sigurd (collab with Sakurai)
Hiroshi Hiroyama: Fate/Kaleid Liner Prisma Illya (original manga version)
Prisma Illya (of course, original Illya was by Nasu)
Chloe
Miyu
Hazuki Minase: Fate/Kaleid (anime adaptation), FGO’s Agartha chapter
Scheherezade 
Wu Zetian
Penthesilea
Columbus
Makoto Sanda: Lord El-Melloi II Case Files
Gray
Reines (Sima Yi)
Keikenchi: Koha-Ace
Okita
Nobunaga
Hijikata Toshizo
Chacha
Okada Izou
Sakamoto Ryoma
Riyo: Learning With Manga! FGO
Paul Bunyan
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kawaiikatanabushi · 5 years ago
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29 for the angst prompt? ^^
@rei-ryoku I am so utterly sorry this took so long! Your patience has been so appreciated and I hope you enjoy! (I indulged myself at the end, so hopefully the turn later is just as you hoped.)
Angst 29. “I love you.” “I’d rather you didn’t”
"I love you," the words were out of Chizuru's mouth before she even realized she was speaking them aloud.
Okita Souji, previously the Captain of the Shinsengumi's First Unit and recent addition to the Fury Corp, had just moments before her confession been indulging in resting his head upon her lap and gazing up at the beauty of the moon. The peaceful serenity had lulled her into a fall sense of comfort and security, the thoughts and emotions pulsing through her heart spilling over her lips without pause. As fear of discovery and rejection laced her soft brown eyes, his dulled and he slowly pulled himself up from her lap. She knew he was going to reject her before the words formed. She had ruined their intimate moment, foolishly assuming he felt the same way. She wished she could pluck her words back from time itself and tuck them safely back into her heart. As she braced herself for a hostile denial, he sighed, eyes turned to the ground before the engawa.
"I'd rather you didn't," Okita-san muttered, an unnamed somber emotion casting over his features.
Chizuru snapped her head up, tears welling within her eyes and lip trembling against a full sob. Her secret was out and her wildest fears coming true. She loved a man who was most likely unable to reciprocate her affection. She should have known better, she bullied herself inside.
There was no explanation as he rose and began to make his exit, halting upon the engawa. For her part, her heart was breaking and she muffled her sobs within her cupped hand.
He paused for what felt like an eternity, neither of them able to breach the silence as this moment was a crossroads and they were highly aware of the fact. If he walked away, it would be a permanent choice and change their dynamic going forward. It was a symbolic rejection, the action speaking more poignantly than any words could express. He was about to leave her behind and her heart ached for him to stay.
"I'm sorry," he whispered nearly imperceptibly before he casually strode off into the darkness and she lost sight of him.
The simple apology stayed her tears and the longer she turned the moment over in her mind, the further she became dissatisfied with his response. An apology acknowledged his own remorse. It signified the wish for different circumstances or perhaps the ability to love her in return. Whatever the cause if the simple little phrase left Chizuru unresolved, furrowing her tiny brow in the direction he had vanished. After a long moment's pause, she decided that whatever the reasoning, if she had unburdened her heart to him at the very least he owed her an explanation.
Their relationship going forward always held an unspoken tension, as if there was always more to say. She would have said his behavior was unchanged, save for the fact he no longer lounged on her or sought her out unnecessarily. He had clammed up, but she could not fathom as to why. Okita Souji was a difficult man to understand but she usually found a way to make sense of his view. None of it made any sense for her. Her questions bubbled within her.
That was, until he stepped into the path of speeding bullets aimed directly at her. As she held his unconscious body and tried to stop the bleeding as she cried out for help, the view settled within her heart. Those were not the actions of a man who did not care for her. She was in his way, very much so, but he chose to rise above and protect her. He always chose to protect her.
It was sometime before he had the strength to remain awake, let alone respond to her internal quandary. She nursed him, allowing her love to spread throughout her actions. Every blotting of sweat or holding his hand was an unspoken declaration of love. The day arrived though, as he sat propped up in bed with as many pillows as they could find. Yamazaki-san was giving Okita-san a lecture, but Chizuru's heart was not in pacifying their relationship. Exhaustion mixed with a growing impatience toward his unexplained behavior and she finally blurted out with:
"You owe me an explanation,"
For a moment, the two men were stunned into silence as their eyes widened at her uncharacteristically brisk tone. Yamazaki-san was fully perplexed, but Okita-san's shock belied an entirely different emotion. Resignation won over his face and he sighed in equal parts fatigue and acceptance. She had backed him into a corner and he knew he could not escape.
"Hai, hai. Do you mind if Yamazaki-kun finishes up his lecture before we get into this?" He asked, a weak smirk tugging the corner of his lip, "I thought this might come up eventually. I'm surprised it took this long,"
"I wouldn't have to lecture you if you would just think for a moment, Okita-san, " Yamazaki could not withstand to retort and followed up with, "And, is there something I should be aware of?"
Okita-san shook his head.
"It's private," he replied with a slow blink.
"Then, I'll see myself out," Yamazaki nodded, halting in the shoji frame to point at Okita-san, "Keep an eye on him, Yukimura,"
She bowed her agreement and focused her eyes on the man before her. He was fiddling with the hem of his blankets and biting at the corner of his lip. She wasn't the only one who hadn't been able to voice the subject.
"Why?" She breathed, an imploring look shimmering within her eyes, "Why did you do it? Why would you step in front of a loaded gun for a woman who was in your way?"
"That's not really what you want to ask, because I can't give you a definite answer there. It was my duty to keep you safe. You just can't protect yourself, ever-"
"Then, why don't you want me to love you?" She whispered.
He sighed shakily, blinking upwards at the ceiling. A beat passed between them and she patiently awaited him to speak.
"I'm broken," he finally replied with a somber little smile, tears welling in his eyes, "I'm not good for you. I'm not Momotaro, some warrior hero to rescue you from the oni. I'm a murderer. I have blood on my hands... no. I have blood splattered over my life. You say you love me, but you don't know me. Where I've come from, who I am. What makes me who I am. Do you know the story? My first kill, did the others tell you?"
Those green eyes leveled to her round brown ones, showing a brokenness she had never seen in full, only caught mere glimpses of. Her heart tried to leap out of her chest to dart towards his, compassion seizing her. She wanted to erase all that pain, but there was a level of fear. She was about to know the man he was and she would have to handle his fragile emotions with care. He was about to trust her with his heart.
"No. They never told me," she verified, now becoming the one to bite their lip.
"I killed a comrade in cold blood. I found his plan to kill Kondou-san. I lured him out for a drink and killed him on the way back." Tears raced down the sides of his face as he continued the tale, "It wasn't noble. It wasn't an accident. It was the moment I became the Sword for the Shinsengumi. The man chosen to aid in seppuku. Could you love a man like this? I'm not safe for you, let alone good. I'm a wicked man and a tyrant. My name evoked fear in the hearts of Kyoto. That's not a lovable man. Even Kondou-san doesn't know how black and distorted I am inside. I warned you, didn't I? That you shouldn't get involved with me. You are everything that is good and pure. You're an angel. I'd taint you. I'd drag you to Hell. I don't understand it, because I tried to push you away. Oh, Chizuru, please try to actually see me. I'm evil, okay? I'm a monster. Look at me. I'm a beast. I have no remorse, no qualms for what I've done,"
"Then," she began, eyes filling with tears, "Why are you crying?"
His eyes went wide and before she could process her response, he had doubled over the blankets and started sobbing like the broken man she could finally see he was. She did not see evil before her, just someone who had lost their way tangled in doing the dirty deeds of others. He had lost the man he was somewhere in there, but she desperately hoped she could show him the brightness she had seen. The kindness locked away inside the box where he kept his heart.
She sidled up next to him, pulling him against her chest as she shushed him gently, stroking his hair. He curled up in her arms, his efforts to stifle his wails becoming more difficult as he released sorrows he had bottled for years. One simple question had undone the formidable First Unit Captain of the Shinsengumi.
"You can't just do that," he bawled, nuzzling his face onto her chest, "You can't just put your tiny hands on my life and fix it. I'm crazy. I'm messed up. I'm distorted and a liar and demented..."
"No, you're just hurting," she assured him with a kiss to his head.
"You can't just say that! You can't just love me!"
"Why not?"
"Because..." he whispered, sniffing to try to rettain his voice, "I want you to. I want you all for myself. I want every little scrap of kindness. I'm a stray cat, Chizuru. If you feed me once, I won't stop coming back for food. If you take me in, you can't ever abandon me. Once you live with me, you won't want me anymore,"
"Oh, Okita-san. Silly, silly Okita-san. What have I been doing all this time, living in the headquarters? You threatened to kill me so many times, I came to realize you might actually mean 'I love you,' "
He suddenly lifted out of her grasp, his lips crashing onto hers. Chizuru was taken so aback, she fell backwards onto the tatami as Okita accidentally pinned her to the floor with the sheer size of his body comparatively to her own. His hands shook as he cupped her cheek, tentatively working his mouth over hers before he hummed and eased into their embrace. She wound her fingers into his hair, unintentionally pulling out the tie for his top knot.
"I heard shouting is everything..." The voice of Yamazaki-san sounded and stopped as abruptly as he did within the door.
"I fell... I don't need help... get lost..." Okita Souji huffed, his eyes meeting hers as a mischievous smirk played about his mouth.
They both heard the shoji shut without reply and burst into giggles. Whether it was the mounting stress of their lives or the high from their kiss, neither could verify. When the moment had sobered, Souji planted a couple's kisses to her neck before curling up beside her on the floor, his sides heaving in a breathless euphoria. He lay his head upon the crook of her neck, stroking his fingers over her arm as it lay hidden in her sleeve.
"A-Ai-Aishi-Daisuki," he whispered, pulling her fingers to his lips and kissing every fingertip, "Can you believe that? I love you. That's why I wanted to keep you safe, even from me. I love you. I love you, and I will always protect you above everything,"
"Okita-san..." she gasped, giving him a tender hug until he yelped, "Sorry... I just got so overjoyed..."
"Hmmm, call me Souji-san, ne?" He begged tenderly, closing his eyes with a relaxed sigh, "When it's just the two of us, you can call me Souji. I want to hear you say it,"
"Okay. Souji-san?" She asked hesitantly.
"Yes... that's great. What is it, Chizuru?"
"Aishi-Daisuki," she informed him tenderly, kissing his forehead.
He giggled. Actually giggled.
"Aishi-Daisuki, Chizurumaru," he grinned playfully.
"So, I'm a sword now?" She laughed quietly.
"Yes. If I am the sword of the Shinsengumi, you are my companion piece. The wakizashi of the Shinsengumi," Souji purred, planting several kisses to her inner wrist.
"Oh, Souji-san!" Chizuru gasped, tears of joy welling in her eyes, "That is the highest honor I've ever been given.."
He placed his hand upon her forehead, giving it a playful little shake.
"I now dub you as Wakizashi of the Shinsengumi. Because a sword can love a sword. Aishi-Daisuki, Chizurumaru, "
He yawned widely, removing his hand to place around her in a snuggly hug.
"Aishi-Daisuki, Soujimaru," she teased back, tenderly stroking his hair to lull him to sleep.
He gave one short laugh and was asleep within an instant. Chizuru remained as she was, soaking in the warmth he radiated. No matter what happened, she was loved by a tender and very playful man. A man she adored. Her Okita Souji.
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hidetheremote · 6 years ago
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Okita 35 😃
*This is super duper late, but here goes! Enjoy!*
Fandom: Hakuouki, OkiSai 
35. “I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re beautiful.”
Unwritten
Souji barged into Saito’s room, expecting to have a few words with the purple-haired captain. He needed to know if the rumors were true. Why would he leave? Why would he be swayed by the likes of Itou? Instead, he found the place empty and the floor covered with crumbled pieces of paper. It was a mess. 
“Tsk, tsk, tsk.” Souji shook his head, clicking his tongue like a disappointed mother. “You’re not so perfect after all, eh?”
He picked up a half-torn note and read it. “I just wanted….” The ink smeared on the parchment, hiding the rest of the sentence like the author wanted it erased from his life. Souji stepped on another ball of paper. He picked it up and unraveled it, revealing another half-written note.
“I think you’re…” Another block of black ink hid the last word.
Souji’s curiosity piqued and continued unfolding the papers scattered around him.
“I can’t stop…. about you.” An incoherent word splashed in between the words. Souji looked closer and he wasn’t sure if he read “thinking” or “dreaming.”
“I want to express my…” Censored before the note had finished.
He must have opened a dozen trashed letters by now. Each one incomplete with splotches of ink overwhelming the light-brown parchment.
“Waste of paper,” Souji said, shaking his head as he laid the last piece on top of the other ones.
The shoji door slid open.
“What are you doing?” Saito’s voice had a hint of surprise in it. Souji turned to look at him, and he could almost see a faint of pink on the younger captain’s cheeks. Saito closed the door behind him.
“Ah, Hajime-kun. For someone who prides himself a clean man, your room does not reflect such a person.” He chuckled haughtily, as if he had not violated Saito’s privacy. 
“I do not like repeating myself, Okita-san. But once again, I’d like to know what you were doing right now.” Saito’s face remained stoic, his lips so thin it was barely a line on his face. He tilted his head to the side, his eyes widening at the sight of un-wrinkled pile of paper.
“I caught you!” Souji pointed at him, his eyebrows wiggling for dramatic effect.“What did I do?” Saito closed the distance between them. He could take a swing at him if he wanted to. But the way Souji’s tone chirped, he knew it was all a ruse.“You’ve been writing secret letters.” Souji crossed his arms, a grin splitting his face. “It’s all right here.” He pointed to the pile and then paused for a moment. “Traitor.”
The last word caught Saito by surprise. A traitor to the Shinsengumi? The insult wounded him than any cut from a sharp blade.
“That is far from the truth.”
“Prove it.” At this point, Souji had successfully deflected his faults at Saito. It was no longer about him rifling through Saito’s room. He wondered whether it was true: the notes were secret codes to the enemy. It was no secret that Itou was recruiting men to join him, succeeding at turning Heisuke to his side. 
Saito reached into his kimono sleeve and took out a sealed letter, handing it to Souji. “I went out looking for you, you know.”
Souji took it with hesitation. It was addressed to him, and he opened it immediately. “Dear Okita-san, I am leaving to join Heisuke-kun and Itou-san on their journey. Before I leave, I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re beautiful. You are truly the heart and soul of the Shinsengumi and I hope you continue to practice to improve your skills. Your comrade, Saito Hajime.”
Souji crumbled the letter and threw it at Saito’s face. He stomped past him, and Saito grabbed him by the arm to stop him. 
Souji turned around and planted his lips against Saito’s… hard. Souji was panting, face red and heated, but he did not utter a word. Neither did Saito. They looked at each other for a long minute, then Souji turned away and closed the door behind him.
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shinsengumi-archives · 3 years ago
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Assassination of Serizawa Kamo
From Illustrated Shinsengumi
9th month, Bunkyu 3 (1863)
The illustration depicts Hijikata, Okita and other assassins assaulting Serizawa's sleeping quarters at Yagi's residence, Harada and others stab Goro Hirayama, and Serizawa barely attempting a counterattack.
There is a story by Shimozawa Kan, after interviewing a child of Yagi Gennosuke who heard about the situation on the night of the incident at a later date (Shimozawa Kan "Kan Shimozawa's Shinsengumi Chronicles").
On this day, the head of the family, Gennosuke, was absent, and Tamesaburo was sleeping with his younger brother Yunosuke in the next room where Serizawa and his colleagues were sleeping, and Masa was sleeping in the room to the south of it. Shortly after hearing Serizawa's loud snore, he said, "Suddenly, four or five people jumped in from the front door with a violent force, and suddenly kicked the paper walls in Serizawa's room and entered inside.” 
At this time, the assassin seemed to have "already pulled out his sword and had it", and when he was surprised, he said, "I heard a terrible voice, "Ah!"” so he ran to his brother's room. It is said that he saw the Serizawa murder while trying to get in
"At this time, Serizawa fell from the porch to the tatami mats of us (Tamesaburo brothers) who had opened the shoji screen." It is said that he tried to run into the brother's room and saw the murder of Serizawa.
Immediately after the incident, the brothers Tamesaburo and Yunosuke and their mother Masa headed for a relative's house in the neighborhood on a muddy road in the rain, but while washing their feet on a futon, they found out their younger brother was Yunosuke hurt. Looking at his foot, he said, "There was a deep sword wound on my right foot, and it’s bleeding." Serizawa collapsed on the children's futon, so “The tip of someone's sword might have been cut off and hit his younger brother whose legs were sticking out,” said Tamesaburo.
In addition, Okita, who learned of Yunosuke's injury when he heard from his father Gennosuke, said to Gennosuke, who returned after hearing the incident, "I heard that Yubo was injured." and “I’m sorry” based on the story Tamesaburo has left behind.
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