#shocking. befuddling really. completely baffling. Anyways.

[dykeogenes]

I am soooo totally disinterested in what any white lgbtq person who grew up in a liberal city & has only ever experienced homophobia through a screen has to say about pete buttegieg’s personal life btw. there are fair criticisms of his politics & you can make them. but can we maybe leave the arguments about whether he’s a class traitor and a symbol of homonationalist queerphobia or whatever out of the attack posts

[thedreammweaver]

Too Good to Be True part 3 FINAL (Burton-Schumacherverse riddlebird)

part 2

Warnings: anorexia tw, disordered eating mention, fatphobic comments mention, insecurities, insecurities related to weight, the boys are fighting 

Ed was just going to leave Oswald be but he found himself absolutely wracked with guilt and for once actually yearning to hold the other man. The touches that made him recoil before were now all he could think about, all he wanted. That’s what had driven him into Ozzie’s backyard to look for a way in after Oswald didn’t answer the door. He startled at something in the huge tree to his right moving until he realized it was just a bird. His relief was short lived as it looked like all the leaves in the tree were moving and as they continued to move it dawned on Ed that there were in fact no leaves on the tree and it was just covered in birds. Ed luckily had the inkling to flee before all the birds began flying towards him at once. 

He rushed into the greenhouse, birds angrily surrounding the building like something out of a horror movie. Oswald must’ve guessed that Ed would try to swing by and trained his birds to attack the lanky intruder. Ed deduced that Oswald must’ve trained the birds to look out for his signature color, to test this theory he cracked the door door open and threw his green handkerchief out. As soon as it caught the light shining out from one of the upstairs windows the birds were on it. They ripped the thing to shreds. Ed grimaced, imagining that hankerchief was him, he almost wished it was then he wouldn’t have to face up to what he’d done. He had to cover up the green in his suit somehow, he could just strip but he didn’t want to offend Oswald any more by showing up indecent. He pondered for a minute before spotting a can of black paint in the corner. Ed sighed “I am so sorry.” He said mournfully to his suit before walking over to the paint.

It wasn’t hard to guess which room Oswald was in, it was obvious by the sad opera floating the space that he was in the sitting room. “Ozzie?” Ed stepped into the room cautiously, Oswald didn’t startle from where he was lounging on one of the couches, in his pjs, eating a tub of ice cream. “You outsmarted the birds..what a shame.” he muttered “What do you want?”

Ed suddenly felt nervous under Oswald’s gaze “You..I-I want you.”

Oswald scoffed, setting down the ice cream on the coffee table among a small number of empty containers that had accumulated during his post break up binge. “Yeah, right. You can’t stand me.”

“I never said that!”

“Edward, you called me fat, ugly, and disgusting in about fifty different ways.”

Ed huffed in frustration more out of discomfort due to the paint currently drying on his suit than at Oswald “And I sincerely promise to regret it for the rest of my days. I’m so sorry you had to see that, Oswald, really.”

Oswald was glaring at Ed “If you don’t get out of my house in about five seconds I’m calling the cops.”

Ed was shocked, had Oswald really begun to resent him more than the GCPD?? “Oswald! Please, don’t just- I’ll admit I didn’t at first but I was being an..I was being an idiot and now-now I think you’re totally..beautiful.”

“You really think I’m gonna fall for that?” Oswald looked almost amused though he obviously still harbored a lot of rage and distrust. Ed sighed, feeling desperate and not knowing how to convince the other man of his feelings especially since he was quite baffled by the turnaround himself “I’m serious! Ozzie, baby, you gotta believe me. I don’t think I can live without you-“

“Beg.”

“E-Excuse me?”

“Beg. There aren’t words enough for the pain you’ve put me through but I’d like to see you beg anyways.”

Ed was a bit flustered as he completely swallowed his pride and got on his knees “Oswald, please, please, please, forgive me. I was self-centered and-and mean, I worry a lot about how I look to other people and I guess in some fucked up way I-I started worrying about you like that cause I was too focused on how we looked together and I- I’m just...sorry.”

The lack of response from Oswald was worrying.

“You were ashamed of me..” he finally mumbled “Yeah, I’m callin’ the cops.” He said frankly but as he moved to get up he winced and instead laid back down “Nevermind, would you just get the fuck out of here...”

“What’s wrong?” Ed asked cautiously. Oswald growled “It’s just a stomachache, asshole. I know, my fault for being an ‘elephantine hopeless romantic of the most pathetic and oblivious sort.” he said, mockingly quoting Ed’s diary. Ed cringed at words he’d thought clever when he’d written them. “Had to make up for the last few days I guess..” Oswald mumbled.

“What do you mean?” Ed asked foregoing caution and scooting a bit closer to the couch. Oswald pinched the bridge of his nose “I...I was afraid that if I didn’t drop a few pounds you’d dump me so..I was trying to not eat as much or..as little as possible..” Ed didn’t think he could feel anymore guilty but it just kept coming. He struggled with the same impulses and to think he’d made Oswald feel that way too..that explained the bouts of lightheaded ness the man had been suffering from.

“Oh, Ozzie..”

“Don’t act like you care!” Oswald snapped. “Why are you even still here?!”

“I want to love you..”

“Love me? You can’t even touch me without cringing apparently..”

Ed figured that was his cue to prove himself. The paint covering his suit had dried enough for him to get on the couch without staining it. “What are you doing??” Oswald looked befuddled.

“You said your stomach hurts I want to help.” Despite being doubtful Oswald didn’t exactly protest as Ed straddled him. Sort of afraid the shorter man would suddenly decide to attack, Ed gingerly eased one of his hands under Ozzie’s shirt and began rubbing his belly in slow gentle circles. Oswald almost immediately melted, leaning his head back on the arm of the couch. Ed had been so sure this specific part of Oswald would disgust him but now himself lost as he took in the warmth and softness, without thinking he switched to using both hands. Ozzie was practically purring at this point. “Does that mean I’m forgiven?” Ed asked sincerely. “Yes, idiot, you are,” Oswald sounded half in love and half exasperated “just as long as you don’t stop.”

[catflowerqueen]

What if...?

So… I ended up doing this instead of working. It, uh… it kind of got away from me a little… or a lot… I meant for it to only be a quick little thought, but it ended up as a whole outline. Some of it is spoilery.

I’m going to post a small part 2 as well, for if a slightly different scenario takes place even within this already AU scenario.

In regards to some of my commentary on a previous post…Now I’m imagining a scenario in which the Treasure Bag swap did happen, and, in order to avoid being identified so soon as the time gear thief, Grovyle just straight up kidnaps Laura and starts dragging her around with him. Probably in this scenario he manages to do it without witnesses—or else he moves fast enough/is just disguised enough that no one could tell for sure who he was or what his motive was.  

He feels really bad about it, but it isn’t as though he can just let her go after taking his bag back, because then she would just tell everyone else what she saw, and possibly what his next plans were. This wasn’t quite as big a deal to him in canon, because by the time Uxie managed to identify him, he was already 3/5 of the way to his goal. But here, the only time gear that everyone knows for sure is gone is the one from Treeshroud Forest, since Ditto is still keeping quiet about the one from Limestone Cavern being gone.

So he’s basically got her tied up like Pikachu from the original pokemon anime, or like he himself was in canon after finally being caught by Dusknoir (but without the muzzle, because he’s not a total jerk) and is just dragging her along behind him. She’s a surprisingly non-hostile captive, to be honest, even though she is really obviously upset at him. This may be in part because she’s realized that that the direction they are headed is in the same direction that Chatot alluded the expedition would be, so she figures that she will be rescued along the way. Or, if this takes place after the expedition, she recognizes that they are headed to Foggy Forest, and, thus, Fogbound Lake, and figures that she can make her escape once they reach Uxie. Grovyle, of course, has no idea about any of this, as he hasn’t heard about the expedition/might not know she’s from the guild, depending on where he took her.

Her docility has the unexpected effect of making the few people they come across think they are related to each other, though, which is both a blessing and a curse as far as his keeping hidden goes, because the first group they met was highly concerned by his “parenting/older brother-ing” tactics when they saw that Laura was tied up and pouting. So he had to mostly untie her for a while. Probably he just, like, tied their hands together and then pulled her close enough to hide the rope when they came across anyone else.

Grovyle thanks Arceus for the fact that Laura—whose name he doesn’t actually know at this point—can walk on two legs, even as he is insanely jealous of this fact, remembering his own time as a treecko, as it means that dragging her along with him is a lot easier than he thought it would be. Not that he actually planned for this to happen.

Eventually they will loosen up enough around each other that they will start talking. Grovyle is likely going to be the one to start, given that the way she’s acting—silently following him—is going to make him forget at times that it isn’t his partner following him (even though it totally actually is). So he’s probably going to slip up one day and start addressing his “Partner,” using her as a sounding board, etc. And Laura is going to pick up on this. And then start questioning him about things when they stop for the night—with the first question being whether he had a partner, since his use of that term along with some of the things he said is going to remind her about the dimensional scream she had at the groudoun statue (again, assuming that this happens after the expedition). Grovyle is probably going to slap himself for forgetting himself the way he did, but will reluctantly tell her about what she’s actually doing. He’s going to be surprised by her attentiveness—and how really, really into the story she’s getting, as he is likely going to tell her at least an abridged version of the Time Gear Legend—and also by the way she is apparently reserving her judgement on the situation.

He probably won’t actually tell her anything about his partner, though, beyond maybe “yes I have/had one.” Unless I want to do another scenario where he does tell her—but she would likely be at least a little skeptical at this point. Or even if she does start to think that she fits the bill and likely was actually his partner, she’s not going to tell him yet until she ascertains whether or not he’s telling the truth about his goal. If he is, then great! She will totally help! If he isn’t… then she is totally going to turn to the good side and stop him—because she’s come to like the world the way it is—and then will probably turn herself in to the authorities once the crisis is resolved and the time gears are back in their proper places.

But going with the assumption that they both remain unaware… Grovyle still doesn’t know what she’s actually thinking or whether she’s now sympathetic to the cause or not, so when they eventually make it to the Foggy Forest he starts looking for a place he can safely stash her while he goes on ahead to collect the time gear—because even if by now he has completely forgone actually tying her up any more, there is no way that he would be able to keep track of her if things came to fight (which he knows is likely, since Ditto pretty much confirmed that the other guardians had no clue anymore why they were guarding the time gears, and are almost definitely going to fight him) and he still can’t guarantee that she won’t be a hindrance to him. Also, he doesn’t want her slowing him down when time stops after the gear is taken, nor does he want to risk her getting caught up in that in general since, again, he isn’t heartless and feels really, really bad about kidnapping her.

So he probably, like, drugs her with sleep seeds and then ties her to a tree at the edge of the forest—or maybe forgoes tying her up, since after this point it probably won’t matter if she does get rescued/escapes and tells other people who the thief is, because Uxie is unavoidable and will probably tell everyone anyways. He just hopes that in that case she starts heading back the way they came, rather than trying to find help by way of the forest/steam cave. Wherever the perimeter is.

But if this is after the expedition… he doesn’t realize that she already knows exactly what to do in order to get to the time gear—and she has the advantage over his knowledge in this case since she was literally just here a little while ago, vs. him only knowing a route in the paralyzed future which probably doesn’t look quite the same, with the added bonus of things like flowing water/magma and weather conditions which would hinder him a bit, even if he is more used to them now.

So she gets there way ahead of him, and has the chance to talk to Uxie. Or else—and the slightly more amusing option—she gets there just as they’re about to start their climactic battle and yells out something like “So did Relatia really leave the Time Gears in order to stop Temporal Tower from falling?”

And then everyone just… freezes. Grovyle in shock over how quickly she managed to get up there, Uxie over the new information he has been presented as he tries to re-evaluate things and remember the legend. …And then sheepishly recall that, yes, that is actually what they are supposed to be doing with them. And the fact that Laura now knows about this legend when she didn’t before, either means that she remembered on her own… or Grovyle told her. So he asks where she learned about that—still without revealing her name—and when the answer is Grovyle, he figures that Grovyle is probably taking the gears in order to fix the Tower. Grovyle is still baffled by this turn of events, but also hopeful that things will get a little easier now that he apparently has support from the lake guardians. And possibly the apprentices, too, if they aren’t too mad at him about kidnapping her and all that.

So now basically all that’s left for Grovyle to do mission-wise is figure out where the Hidden Land is. Laura suggests that they go to the guild for that, which grovyle almost agrees to… until she also ponders whether the all-knowing Dusknoir might know anything. Upon which he adamantly refuses to go anywhere near that place, and lets slip about what Dusknoir is actually doing in the past. Which of course just makes Laura worry about her friends.

But Uxie still thinks it’s a good idea to seek help from the guild, so he hands the time gear to grovyle (and all three of them are slightly befuddled that time doesn’t stop—see my previous posts for an explanation of why) and then sends a message via telepathy to whichever of his siblings is closest before sending Grovyle their way while he escorts Laura back to the guild. She gives a surprisingly warm goodbye and good luck to Grovyle—or surprising to him at least, since, you know…. He kidnapped her, and everything. He probably sacrifices his Plain Seeds to her as an apology, even as he was, and still is, baffled by the fact that she likes them when it came out at some point during their travels and his heart aches at the fact that he is giving up the “treats” he had saved for his partner. They do remind him to tell Uxie to inform his siblings about the fact that he had a partner who travelled with him, though, just so they don’t accidentally attack her. …But he likely also forgets to give them much in the way of identifying features.

But in any case, Uxie takes Laura back to the guild, everyone is thrilled at her return and Dusknoir is left more or less in the dark about what actually happened. He may or may not have figured out Laura’s identity at this point—since the guild probably sought his help and Paula probably talked to him/them about what little they knew about her past in an attempt to figure out a motive—but whether he has or has not, he is thrilled by her return and doesn’t suspect grovyle’s involvement at all. All Uxie was willing to divulge was that Laura’s kidnapper ended up dragging her all the way over to his Lake, so he elected to bring her back after the problem was “taken care of.” The assumption is left that he erased the kidnapper’s memory—and no one really questions why law enforcement wasn’t involved, because the more pragmatic members of the guild realize that, unfortunately, proper time flow is more important that seeking justice, and the others are just glad that Laura is back. Dusknoir… may or may not actually know for sure the exact locations of the time gears, even though the legend heavily implies that Uxie kept one—after all, he may not have hidden it in his actual home—and since no one knew for sure who the kidnapper was, he may have just assumed that the motive was simply “this is a newer member of the guild, so she is probably therefore weaker than the others, but she still went on that recent expedition, so I can probably easily make her guide me to the treasure that is supposedly in Fogbound Lake.” So Grovyle’s involvement is completely hidden, and so far as Dusknoir knows Uxie’s time gear is still in its usual location.

The second he leaves, however, Uxie informs the guild about what has actually been happening, and who Dusknoir actually is, and asks them to start helping him search for the Hidden Land.

Grovyle, meanwhile, has made it to either Mesprit or Azelf’s Lake and is taking a little time to rest and chat with them before he heads on to the next location. Possibly they are even waiting for the other lake sibling to join them with their gear, but more likely they’re just chatting/waiting for an update since for all they know time no stopping in Fogbound Lake after the gear was removed was just a weird fluke, even though they are probably aware that a guardian taking it out and holding it for a while is fine so long as its still in the general vicinity.

But eventually the lake guardian hears an update and is like “you will be pleased to know that Uxie and Laura made it back safely, and Dusknoir is none the wiser.” And then Grovyle is going to freak out upon hearing that name, demands more information, and then it finally comes out that Laura is actually his partner turned into a pokemon. …Who is now in close proximity to Dusknoir. …And probably still has no clue who she is, unless they use telepathy again to pass that message on.

So that whole thing ends up being kind of a big mess, but Grovyle does rush back to Treasure Town and with everyone’s help they manage to subdue Dusknoir and the others before they get the chance to time travel or drag anyone into the future. And Grovyle and Laura have a somewhat awkward reunion. But Grovyle does get to hang out with the guild for a while, which is cool.

…The fact that the pokemon from the future will disappear will inevitably come out during this time, as a las-ditch effort by Dusknoir to salvage things, which is significantly less cool, and will likely give the others something of a pause as they digest all this, but it ultimately won’t matter much in the long run. As sad and heartbroken as everyone is about it. They are determined to give Grovyle and Laura the best times possible with what time they have left, though, and there is likely some frantic research going on in the background as they try and find a solution to this.

They run out of time to do so, however, so it is with a rather heavy heart that Team Rainbow and Grovyle head out to Temporal Tower to fix things… and then extreme shock, confusion, and anguish when Laura is the only one who ends up disappearing. Things only get more confusing and anguish filled when they return to Treasure Town sans Laura and find out that Dusknoir and the sableye, currently in prison, also still exist—which likely means that everyone else in the future does, too. Things only get more confusing and anguish-filled when they react with absolute horror upon finding out Laura’s fate, since, surprise! She was never supposed to be in danger of disappearing since she wasn’t even from this planet in the first place.

They may or may not decide to actually go back to the future. I’m guessing that they probably will, eventually, but they can’t do it right away since Dialga is too busy to help them and they don’t have any celebi/time passages handy. So it isn’t going to happen until Laura makes it back—because of course she will make it back. But she’s not going to remember anything past the night before they set out for Brine Cave, as in The World’s Treasure.

And then the post-game stuff is going to happen, delaying Grovyle’s trip back to the future even more, and he’s going to have an extremely interesting reaction to the revelation that Darkrai is the one who set everything in motion… Assuming Darkrai even follows through with that plan he had in the post-game, since he is probably more than aware of the fact that Grovyle is still hanging around…

[angstmatsuscenarios]

Let's see... What about a scenario where Jyushimatsu suddenly picks up a kind of amnesia where he thinks he had a totally different lifestyle'? 80's businessman, different personality, only child...

Here we go!! Hope you enjoy this! Maybe not as angsty as intended but it’s still there.

No one was too concerned by the accident at first–after all, Jyushimatsu had incurred many injuries more severe than this and always bounced back just fine. And he’d seemed fine at the time; the baseball smacked into his head and knocked him down, but he’d jumped backup to his feet and resumed playing as if nothing had happened. By the time they went to bed that night, the incident had been forgotten.

It wasn’t until the next morning that something seemed…off.

Choromatsu’s alarm clock beeped as usual, eliciting a series of groans from the groggy brothers whose sleep had been interrupted. But Jyushimatsu sat bolt upright, an almost panicked expression on his face.

“Oh no! What time is it?!” he asked frantically, snatching up the alarm clock and reading the screen. “It’s eight? I’m going to be late for sure!”

“Late for what…?” Todomatsu mumbled, squinting drowsily up at Jyushimatsu as he jumped out of bed. “Do you have a baseball game today…?”

“Baseball? Why would I have a baseball game?” Jyushimatsu questioned, raising an eyebrow at Todomatsu. He wasn’t smiling, bearing a serious expression instead, which on Jyushimatsu was unsettling. “I’m going to be late for work if I don’t get going!”

“Work?!” Osomatsu repeated incredulously, sitting up in bed. “But you don’t have a job!”

“There’s no way you’d end up with a job before me,” Choromatsu muttered haughtily, glancing skeptically up at Jyushimatsu.

“Of course I have a job–I’ve been at the same company for twenty years now,” Jyushimatsu insisted, hurriedly opening the closet door and rifling through its contents. “Now where is my suit? And my briefcase…?! It should be right here where I left it…”

The brothers exchanged baffled looks. What the hell was Jyushimatsu going on about…? He was not acting like himself.  

“Jyushimatsu…” Todomatsu began, unsure of what exactly to say but figuring they needed to start somewhere, “what exactly is your job?”

“I’m an accountant, you know that Todomatsu.” Jyushimatsu paused in searching through his clothes, turning around to glance questioningly at the youngest. “Come to think of it, what are you doing in my house anyway?”

“It’s our house–well, our parents’ house,” Osomatsu amended. “We all live here together, remember?”

Jyushimatsu looked thoroughly confused. “I haven’t lived at home since I graduated from college.”

“But…but you didn’t go to college!” Choromatsu blurted out, shocked.

Jyushimatsu was still studying them. “You know, you all look awfully young…younger than forty-five, that is.”

“Wh…why would we look forty-five? We aren’t nearly so advanced in age,” Karamatsu said, brows furrowed in befuddlement.

“Oh, I don’t have time to mess around, we can talk about this later–I need to get to work!” Jyushimatsu declared, flustered, as he turned back to the closet.

While he tore furiously through their clothes, the other brothers huddled to the side of the room to confer with each other.

“Is he messing with us?” Todomatsu wondered, irritated but partially concerned.

“He seems too genuine to be messing with us…it’s like he really believes this,” Ichimatsu mused, frowning.

“But why?” Choromatsu wondered, and his eyes widened. “He got hit in the head yesterday…could it be related to that?”

“It’s a possibility…” Karamatsu’s voice trailed off.

“One thing’s for sure…I think we’re paying a visit to Dr. Dekapan today,” Osomatsu noted seriously.

Slowly, the other brothers nodded, casting a glance toward Jyushimatsu.

———-

Despite his protests that he needed to get to work, the brothers managed to drag Jyushimatsu to Dekapan’s lab (though he did insist on wearing his suit and tie). Dr. Dekapan was surprised to see them, but quickly agreed to check it out once the brothers summarized the case for him.

The brothers waited around impatiently as Dekapan performed numerous tests on Jyushimatsu, their concern mounting. At last, Dekapan approached them, wearing a puzzled expression that didn’t sit right with them.

“It’s truly bizarre…a case I’ve never seen before,” he began, shaking his head. “The knock to the head seems to have caused a form of amnesia…but not typical memory loss. More like memory replacement.”

Todomatsu raised his eyebrows. “Elaborate, please.”

“For some reason, Jyushimatsu seems to have the memories of what appears to be an alternate timeline version of himself,” Dekapan explained. “He recognizes you as his brothers, but his memories of his life are completely different. He seems to believe he’s a businessman in his mid-forties.”

“That’s…weird.” Choromatsu’s frown deepened.

“Well, how do we fix it?” Osomatsu wanted to know.

“I’ve no idea, unfortunately…as I said, I’ve never seen this happen before,” Dekapan reiterated. “All I can recommend is to try reminding him of who he really is. Tell stories, show photos, get him to play baseball. See if any of that triggers old memories. It’s the best you can do for now.”

“And if it doesn’t…?” Ichimatsu wanted to know.

Dekapan sighed, shaking his head. “You may need to get used to a new Jyushimatsu.”

———

The brothers wasted no time in trying to regain Jyushimatsu’s memories.

The fifth youngest complained the whole time, claiming they were wasting his time and that he needed to get to the office. He never smiled once. Seeing him with such a no-nonsense expression from the typically cheerful, happy-go-lucky brother was disturbing.

They explained the situation to him. Naturally, he didn’t believe them right away, too set in his ways–at least, the ways his mind told himself to be. But the brothers were determined to make him see the light, and bring him back to himself. Reluctantly, Jyushimatsu agreed, though it was obvious he thought this was some big ruse.

They tried everything they could. They told him all about himself, and how much he loved baseball. They showed him pictures of himself playing baseball, racing around the field and grinning happily. Nothing worked.

At last, they resorted to a trip to the park.

“Why are we here?” Jyushimatsu griped, as the brothers practically dragged him to the baseball diamond. “I need to get to work, and this is just a huge waste of time. I know you’re all pulling my leg.”

“We aren’t, Jyushimatsu,” Osomatsu insisted, passing Jyushimatsu a baseball glove, the well-worn one he always used. “This is the real you. You’ll see. We’re just gonna play a quick pickup game, alright?”

“But I don’t even know how to play this game,” Jyushimatsu grumbled, though at last he took the glove and tentatively slipped it onto his hand.

“It’ll come back to you!” Osomatsu said with more reassurance than he felt, then quickly turned to the other brothers and shouted, “Okay! Game is starting now!”

It was what one could only loosely refer to as a game. Ichimatsu stood in the outfield, but seemed distracted and didn’t pay enough attention as the ball flew toward him…until it was rolling away in the grass next to him. Choromatsu and Todomatsu were skittish, instinctively dodging the ball instead of trying to hit or catch it. Osomatsu and Karamatsu put in an effort at least, and played half-decently.  

As for Jyushimatsu…he was the worst of them all. It was like he’d never swung a bat or pitched a baseball in his life. His throws fell short, and every swing came shy of hitting the ball. He grew more and more frustrated and impatient with every little failure, despite his brothers’ encouragement that he would get the hang of it again.

“What are you even talking about?” Jyushimatsu demanded, scowling. “How will I get the hang of it again if I never had it in the first place?”

“Because you did!” Osomatsu intervened. “Because this isn’t the real you, this is–”

“Will you stop saying that already?!” Jyushimatsu burst out suddenly, hurling his baseball glove to the ground in aggravation. “I have no idea what you’re talking about! I never played baseball, I was never in any sports clubs–I graduated with top grades and got into my first choice college! I never had any reason to play sports!”

“But, Jyushi—“ Karamatsu began helplessly.

“No, cut it out—I know this is all a big prank,” Jyushimatsu said curtly. “I don’t know why you’re going to such drastic measures for this elaborate joke, but it’s over now. I’m not playing along anymore. Whatever Jyushimatsu you’re claiming I am…he doesn’t exist. It’s only me.”

This outburst was met with stunned silence from the brothers, all of them having gathered around to gape at Jyushimatsu. The fifth brother drew in a deep breath and straightened his posture, composing himself.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m very busy and have to go back to work,” he stated coldly. “I’ll see you all later, I suppose.”

With that he stalked off, leaving the others to stare blankly at his retreating back.

Todomatsu blinked back sudden tears. “Is…does this mean Jyushi will never be back to himself again?”

“I don’t know,” Osomatsu answered grimly, and sighed. “I don’t think we can keep trying without making him mad.”

“But sooner or later he’s going to learn he doesn’t have a job and he’s not middle-aged yet, either,” Choromatsu pointed out. “So what will he do then?”

No one said anything after that. They had no idea.

—————

Jyushimatsu didn’t return home that night. No one knew where he was, or how to contact him. And that was a scary situation, even though this Jyushimatsu seemed perfectly content to be alone and supposedly knew what he was doing.

It was hard for the brothers to fall asleep that night, but eventually they did, resolving to search for Jyushimatsu the next day.

Morning light was already spilling through their window when a loud crash startled them all awake. It sounded like the front door slamming open and shut. And then, before they could fully process that, another sound met their ears.

“Muscle, muscle! Hustle, hustle!”

They all exchanged a quick, shocked glance before standing up and bolting down the stairs, screeching to a stop in the entryway.

And there he was—Jyushimatsu, wearing the same suit from yesterday (now significantly disheveled) and sporting a huge grin.

“Jyushi…?” Todomatsu began anxiously, full of hope. “Are…are you back?”

“Yeah! I had a nice long run this morning. Dunno why I’m wearing these clothes, though.” Jyushimatsu glanced down at his attire, sounding more cheerful than perplex.

“Jyushi…do you remember anything from yesterday?” Choromatsu asked, frowning slightly. “Anything at all?”

Jyushimatsu thought for a moment, then shrugged. “Nope! Nothing.”

“Like…you don’t remember being a middle-aged businessman, or something?” Osomatsu asked.

Jyushimatsu laughed. “Why would I think that? What a funny thing to say, Nii-San!”

The brothers all glanced at each other again, silently asking the same question—what the hell was going on? Had it actually happened, or had they imagined it themselves? That seemed impossible.

“Well, I’m gonna go shower!” Jyushimatsu declared brightly, and moved past his brothers to go upstairs, chanting happily along the way.

The brothers could only stare until he was gone.

“So…did yesterday even really happen then?” Todomatsu questioned, eyebrows furrowed. “He doesn’t remember anything…”

“We didn’t actually dream it, did we?” Karamatsu wondered. “Something we simply conceived of in our subconscious…? Oh, but how strange it would be for us to share a dream then…”

“It felt too real,” Ichimatsu said bluntly.

“Well…in that case, I guess we’ll never really know what happened yesterday, after all.” Osomatsu scratched the back of his head. “And maybe we shouldn’t tell Jyushimatsu, either. What if it sets him off again?”

Slowly, the other brothers nodded in agreement. They wouldn’t bring it up to their brother again. But for the next several days they kept a close eye on him, monitoring his behavior to make sure he seemed like himself.

After so close to losing him, they never wanted that to happen again.