#shock of shocks I think yohane's my favorite

[animebw]

Okay the mom running back for her kid had me cackling

[impromptu-sketches]

𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘 ✦ 𝕎ℝ𝔸ℙ-𝕌ℙ ~ ℝ𝔼𝕎𝕀ℕ𝔻

Hi everyone! So, I started reading BL for the first time in 2020 but didn’t start doing annual wrap-ups until 2021. So because I feel like I’ve left out a ton of my favorite stories and because I’m a bit of a perfectionist... here’s my 2020 wrap-up rewind!

Out of all of the BL stories -ongoing and completed at the time- that I read, I have a winner in ten categories and four ‘best of’ winners!! Enjoy the 2020 throwback!!

-

✧ - FUNNIEST

And the nominees are...

- 19 Days

- Someone Else’s BL Manhwa

- Sign

- On or Off

- My Purrrfect Boss!

And the winner is…

SIGN

Sign was such a sweet manhwa, but the first 10 or so chapters got me laughing so fucking hard!! I will always remember the secondhand embarrassment, shock, and overall hilarity of these two (˃̣̣̥ ▿ ˂̣̣̥) 

✧ - MOST INTRUIGING

And the nominees are...

- Dear Door

- Killing Stalking

- Red Candy

- Blood Bank

- December Rain

And the winner is…

KILLING STALKING

All of these had me immediately hooked, but I’d be lying if I chose anything but Killing Stalking. Such a wild psychological thriller that had my anxiety through the freaking roof the entire time. I remember reading this for literally two days straight on a certain website that I didn’t have an account with so I clicked through each individual panel (which is why it took so long to get through) and honestly that probably exacerbated the suspense. Either way, there was no way I was putting this one aside until I finished.

✧ - BEST KISS

And the nominees are...

- Incorrigible

- Fools

- December Rain

- Blood Bank

- Cherry Blossoms After Winter

And the winner is…

BLOOD BANK

Blood Bank was such an amazing manhwa!! I loooooved it the first time I read it two years ago and it easily stays with me as one of my all time favorites ♡♡♡ There’s a particular kiss I’m thinking of near the end that I just love so much (⋈◍＞◡＜◍)。✧♡ I was so happy at their happy ending and how it all came together, I just love Shell & Eric so much!! ♡♡♡

✧ - BEST SEX SCENES

And the nominees are...

- Dear Door

- Room to Room

- Liquor & Cigarette

- Unromantic

- Shame Application / Dirty Vibration

And the winner is…

DEAR DOOR

I didn’t want to pick Dear Door because it also won in 2021, but fucking hell I remember the first time I read it and that first scene on the couch... ///o_o/// I cannot lie, Dear Door is on another level ok... y’all know.

✧ - FAVORITE FLUFF

And the nominees are...

- Guang Xiang

- Never Understand

- Cherry Blossoms After Winter

- Path to You

- Fools

And the winner is…

FOOLS

I -love love love- all of these so much, it was so hard to narrow down this list to five, but I have such warm feelings whenever I think back to when I read Fools for the first time! ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡)˚๐*˟ ♡ A little sad that the reboot is still on hiatus but tbh we didn’t need one in the first place ♡ But if it does come back I’ll be reading it immediately.

✧ - FAVORITE BOTTOM

And the nominees are...

- Jungwoo | Fools

- Nathaniel | Path to You

- Yu Yang | Here U Are

- Na-kyum | Painter of the Night

- Shell Overlord | Blood Bank

And the winner is…

SHELL OVERLORD | BLOOD BANK

Ahhhhhh Shell captured my heart as soon as he asked to be stepped on hahaha (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ such a powerful vampire and a complete masochist I love it!

✧ - FAVORITE TOP

And the nominees are...

- Yohan | Sign

- Eunho | Lover Boy

- Taehee | Banana Scandal

- Yoon Taejun | Unintentional Love Story

- Tsuchiya Hazuki | Kiraide Isasete

And the winner is…

EUNHO | LOVER BOY

Eunho ♡.。₀:*ﾟ✲ﾟ*:₀。For real, Eunho fought for their relationship so hard and for so long, I really loved that. This manhwa was really special to me when I first read it ❤

✧ - FAVORITE COUPLE

And the nominees are...

- Conor & Simon | Dark Heaven

- Suchae & Gusam | December Rain

- Yiyoung & Director Kang | On or Off

- Giovanni & Felix | Hold Me Tight

- Cho Ayeo & Woori | Incorrigible

And the winner is…

CONOR & SIMON | DARK HEAVEN

Without a doubt it’s Conor & Simon!! ♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡ They were freaking ride or die, so in love, so good together ♡ I absolutely LOVED the flashbacks to when they were kids growing up and forming their band together. Just amazing. Just two boys in love! So many hardships, but they got through it ❤

✧ - FAVORITE SIDE COUPLE

And the nominees are...

- Chanwoo & MD | BJ Alex

- He Tian & little Mo | 19 Days

- Zhong Qiu Jie & Pan Shu |  Here U Are

- Donghee & Hotae | Unintentional Love Story

- Haruki & Akihiko | Given

And the winner is…

DONGHEE & HOTAE | UNINTENTIONAL LOVE STORY

I was waiting so long to get more of Donghee & Hotae!! And they finally gave us their backstory in the later chapters... but I wanted more!! And I was so relieved when they finally did get together (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡ Something about these two I really loved.

✧ - FAVORITE BOY

And the nominees are...

- Taehee | Banana Scandal

- Baekyung | Scandalous M

- Na-kyum | Painter of the Night

- Shell Overlord | Blood Bank

- Yoon Taejun | Unintentional Love Story

And the winner is…

TAEHEE | BANANA SCANDAL

( ＾◡＾)っ ♡·ﾟﾟ·*: To nobody’s surprise, Taehee had my whole heart from the very beginning!! I simply love this boy!!

✧ - FAVORITE NEW BL

And the nominees are...

- Love me Dramatically

- Nomi x Shiba

- Red Candy

- Semantic Error

- My Purrrfect Boss!

And the winner is…

SEMANTIC ERROR

Also probably to no surprise, Semantic Error had me engrossed in their enemies to lovers, back and forth, the flirting!!!!! From the very beginning └(=^‥^=)┐ the dynamic between them was just so hilarious and I could not picture how they were going to get together but I needed it!!!!

✧ - FAVORITE ONGOING BL

And the winner is…

KING’S MAKER

There were so many amazing BLs I was reading at this time, but King’s Maker was elite for me. I love a good slow burn childhood friends time skip and I just needed them to be safe and happy together o(≧▽≦)o .。.:*☆

✧ - FAVORITE BL THAT ENDED IN 2020

And the winner is…

INCIDENTALLY LIVING TOGETHER

Straight up, this manhwa was emotionally damaging but therapeutic at the same time. Especially because I read it in fall of 2020 when I was at home a lot a a bit isolated, I really felt for these characters. I re-read this again in 2021 when I was going through a sad time and it kept the tears going, but that’s what you need sometimes ✿

✧ - BEST BL OF 2020

And the winner is…

HYPERVENTILATION

❀❀❀ Hyperventilation became my one of my all time favorites right away!!! It was so, so short, but it was beautiful and emotional and relatable. Everyone has regrets, things in the past they wish they acted on, and this gives hope to those ♡ It’s also pretty freaking adorable and I love a well done childhood friends to lovers, especially in flashbacks, so this was an easy one for me to love!! ( ＾◡＾)っ ♡ Check out the anime too!

-

Thank you for reading!

[thedeviljudges]

yohan + physical tough + trauma response

disclaimer: this is based off of eps 1-7, and preview of ep 8; i wholeheartedly recognize that this post may become the worst meta ever depending on how the rest of the show goes. however, i do think there are still some interesting things to note about yohan. a lot of this is also me just talking shit out as i was sifting through all the eps again. i’m more than willing to change my mind or hear other thoughts.

also i kinda, sorta, unnecessarily included all of the moments of yohan and any physicality. a lot of them are not super important, but i do think they help draw a distinction in how he reactions when surprised, alone and around other people.

so, here’s a long ass post that is literally 99% me bullshitting, lmao.

so i wanted to delve more into yohan’s response to physical touch by way of trauma. while i know a lot of us have pieced it together, i think it’s pretty cool to lay it all out visually because i think there’s much more justification for his reactions; not to say it makes it right, but it does really flesh out a fundamental part of his characterization that i think is highly, highly important to understand.

yohan lives on the cusp for reckless behavior, almost as if he doesn’t care whether he lives or dies. the car chase, running through industrial buildings where safety isn’t a concern, etc.

episode one

the first time we see an instance of his disinterest in physical touch is when he first meets gaon. he actually offers him his hand, but the way he goes about it isn’t a handshake. he almost looks hesitant, and then he squeezes and does not shake. it’s truly a split second gesture out of formalities. granted, he’s just met someone he thinks looks like isaac, and might be in a little bit of… not shock, but certainly distracted.

later in the episode, yohan is in an abandoned building with homeless people. he’s checking people’s wrist, but he’s quick about leaving them alone. until, a homeless man comes up behind him and grabs him. in response, yohan swings his arm to knock him off. then, he punches him, steps on him and decides whether he’s worth the effort. again, granted, no one likes to be surprised in a creepy situation like this, so his response? kinda understandable at this point.

next is the scene where yohan catches gaon in his office, where he pushes him against the bookshelf and kinda, more or less, comes off as a bit luring. we know yohan knows gaon’s lying, but a couple of things here. yohan initiated the physical contact, and he did it because of the suspicious nature of gaon. yohan also knows how to use his power and charms to catch people off guard, and i think really, he was messing with gaon when he brushed his shirt and asked him if he lived alone. gay as fuck, lmao, but i also see it as an intimidation tactic, in a way.

i could also pose a couple of theories aside from intimidation if we wanted to squint:

yohan is still in a state of awe of gaon’s resemblance to isaac. he’s not heard his voice or been around the other man for at least 10 years, and now there’s tangibility at his fingertips.

if we want to look at it from the gay perspective, gaon is clearly intriguing to yohan, and as i’ll note further down in this post about yohan in relation to physical touch, i’m sure it could be assumed that this is one of the first people in a long time that yohan has an interest in making a connection with. however, because of his upbringing, it’s clear he does’t necessarily know how to connect with people (ie. ep 7 trying to connect with elijah, eps 1-6 with him trying to non-verbally tell gaon that he has bigger plans than what’s in front of his face. his admission in ep 5 about being monster). more or less, he knows his charms can be used, but when it comes to actually flirting and/or liking someone? it’s left to be addressed, but could be assumed he’s just as awkward about it as when we see him at home.

we also see a small instance of him letting someone dress him. there’s still touch involved, but it’s very clear what the intention is. he has control over the situation, and it’s not a surprise.

the next time he engages in physical touche, again, he initiates it because he’s in control, and it’s meant to be comforting, to an extent.

and then to round everything off, we actually see him reaching for isaac, who is actually gaon in the court scene, but you know storytelling and all that. he reaches for him both in the courtroom and within a flashback.

him reaching out for isaac seems to be a motif within the show as it happens later on, of which i’ll point out.

episode two

we see him initiate a handshake again. at first, to gaon, and then with jinjoo. controlled situation.

later on in the episode is when we see our first glimpses of batshit crazy yohan, an absolute delight and fav, lmao. he actually reaches out to the spoiled kid, and it’s clearly to legitimize intimidation and a position of power.

okay look, i’m not even gonna front, this was a cute scene. when jinjoo gets out of the car, he checks to make sure she’s okay, and they have this moment before they go onto the red carpet where they smile at each other. yohan is confirming she’s okay, and she agrees. again, controlled, and i don’t know for certain if yohan is more comfortable around women, or it’s just mere fact that he doesn’t always have a problem with touch when the situation is safe. he actually lets her take his arm further on in the scene, and yes, it is a public display of niceties, and he knows that.

so in the midst of this happening, we get the ‘devil child’ story. and i want to make note of the bird scene because i do think it’s important to note that people yohan cares for, he’s willing to go to the ends of the earth to protect them. yes, they’re children in school, but the girl next to him is the only one who showed him an ounce of kindness, and yohan is proven to remain loyal to those he loves or trusts in some capacity.

of course, he ends up pitting the rich and the poor kids against one another for their betrayal and making him an outcast. in yohan’s mind, what he did wasn’t necessarily wrong because his sense of justice is based on protection and when people wrong him or those he loves, it’s seeking justice on their behalf or making the situation better - not in the technically right way, but right to him. yohan comes across as a fixer and problem solver.

yohan has a very, very strong sense of trust and loyalty, and we can assume that stems from isaac, who clearly tried to protect yohan from his father, who went out of his way to do so as best as he could as a young kid. yohan values loyalty not because he necessarily wants lap dogs and people to do his bidding. it comes from a place of love and security he’s never really had.

anyway, back to the gala with jinjoo, he does shake the minister’s hand. again, controlled. there are cameras. he also puts his arm around her, and that’s mainly because it’s a battle of the wills, and she’s trying to reprimand him, lol, as if she could. he hugs her a little hard and a little enthusiastically, and you can clearly tell it’s for show.

and then he dances with both jinjoo and sunah. and there is a stark difference between these two scenes. yohan actually teaches jinjoo the proper placement for where she should rest her hands and how to move. he’s actually having a good time with her, and again, it’s actually really cute.

with sunah, he’s reluctant and definitely on guard. he can tell from her demeanor that her intent is with purpose trying to get close to him. at this point in the story, he probably sees it as sunah coming onto him and not because she’s actually the maid from when they were children. when sunah reaches up to whisper in his ear, you can really tell he doesn’t like her being that close to him at all especially because her words may not be overly threatening, but there is purpose behind them, which means yohan’s guards are up. he physically removes her hand and than blatantly turns her down: she tells him that enjoying things alone isn’t fun, and he counters it by saying he’s having a lot of fun.

so at this point to reduce on some screen caps, he meets the minister’s family, has handshakes with her husband and the kid he went after to essentially beat up his car with a mallet, lmao. the handshake is quite funny because they both know what happened. yohan is in control, and that kid is shaking in his boots.

then the explosion happens, and of course, it makes sense that yohan helps gaon after he’s hurt. gaon has never been a threat to yohan, and it’s clear yohan’s not heartless whatsoever, but it’s also poignant to note that gaon helped saved yohan’s life, thus starting yohan’s journey of loyalty to gaon. i think he’s always had his sight set on gaon to begin with, possibly long before he even became an associate judge, but if this was a test, gaon passed it with flying colors because if gaon can rescue a little girl, and he can help an old man who fell off his bike, would he really go the lengths to save yohan who has shown him time and time again his sense of justice is different?

episode three

yohan reacts negatively to soohyun and within good reason when she questions where gaon is. he turns away because for him, the conversation is over, but for her, it’s not. to get his attention, she grabs him when he’s not paying attention, and of course he has a very adverse reaction. at this point, it can be chalked up to disrespect given the fact that he’s a head judge and she’s just a mere cop, but hindsight is 20/20. he does throw her arm off by flicking out his arm. but instead of berating her, he just tells her to catch the culprits who harmed gaon and leaves it at that.

and then of course, everyone’s favorite scene and rightfully so. yohan caring for gaon? very sexy of him. gaon is injured, poses no threat, and as i said above about yohan finding some amount of loyalty in gaon means his physical boundaries aren’t jeopardized. and for that, we get these wonderful scenes of yohan helping gaon as he heals.

and then scenes of him messing around with gaon by hitting him. truth be told, i wonder if this was something him and isaac did as young kids. anyone with siblings know how that goes. fake picking on each other? fake bickering? yeah.

and then it slowly, but surely, it’s revealed that yohan didn’t have the same upbringing as isaac did. our first instance that something at home wasn’t right wasn’t just the conversation with ms. ji and gaon. it’s the flashback with yohan reading in his room when the door opens. he hastily pretends he’s asleep, and you can see he’s visibly shaking and breathing roughly until he realizes it’s isaac who’s there to give him books.

and that’s also when we get our first glance of what kind of abuse yohan suffered from at the hands of his father. it’s clear this isn’t the only incident, and there’s been many times that isaac wasn’t around to help defend him.

it’s also very clear in how yohan acts when he’s terrified and that his abuse has gone on long enough to be a routine pattern in the house. any time he hears heavy footsteps or thinks his father is around, he visibly shakes and gets panicky.

episode four

i include this scene because it’s been noted that a lot of books yohan reads are about humans, human nature, animals, animalistic tendencies, and he says random shit like this that directly points to what he thinks about humanity and humans themselves. we notice this most prominently at the dinner with gaon and jinjoo earlier on when he describes that he likes the feel of the chew and that he cannot taste. he always mentions hunting and prey, and i think this is one of those very clear instances where he actually reveals to gaon what he truly, truly thinks; no gimmicks. this also comes into play later on in ep 6 when elijah is worried about him being out all night. yohan clearly doesn’t trust people at all. he understands their intentions, their motives and how much pain they can cause other people for their own profit and their own gain. it makes sense that he wouldn’t leave his house, especially if he has a strong sense of loyalty to isaac (even after all these years) and caring for elijah.

this is also one of the very direct moments that yohan doesn’t understand family dynamics. when it comes to people, it’s a giant chess game. not only that, later on in the episode when they’re in the car and yohan talks about how people, no matter what, are always the same in front of greed, yohan is cynical, and he expects the bad every single time.

what he reads and the way he words things (here and the discussion of him being a monster, for example) is clearly an indication that he doesn’t trust; that he cannot trust, nor does he want to at this point. yohan doesn’t understand the concept of kindness being given freely (ep 7 when he berates elijah for being used by gaon, telling her she falls for kindness every time). and yet, later on in eps, it’s clear when he’s around the right people and the right mindset (uh, gaon?? lol), he’s constantly putting up a front.

after all in ep 7 when he tells gaon that confidence is key, it literally gives him away not just in the courtroom but in his personal life. there’s a reason he looks softer at home than when he’s not there (the hairstyle changes and clothing).

basically what i’m getting at is this behavior can be seen as a defense mechanism because of his abuse.

then it’s another gala event with gaon and yohan this time. another lovely favorite where yohan helps him get dressed and then proceeds to drag him around and safe him from the lion’s den.

tbh i dont even need to include these, but i’m doing it for the indulgence.

yohan does sorta physically throw gaon as well during the rich people party, but that’s mainly to get him to shut up because he’s trying to show gaon the truth at hand and how all of it’s pretty much a farce.

later on in the episode is when we first have gaon truly attacking yohan verbally, and that’s when yohan snaps. it’s clear that isaac is a trigger for yohan, especially from someone who speaks out of line on something they know nothing about. gaon, truth be told, had a stupid moment confronting yohan the way he did. i don’t know who waltzes up to a proposed murderer and just asks them, lmao.

but here’s the thing, thus far, gaon has not entirely posed a threat to yohan. whether that’s from yohan planting gaon and guiding him exactly where he wants him or gaon just not being as thorough as yohan would like, and he’s trying to tap into that talent, is anyone’s guess. but as i said above, the one thing yohan protects is the things he does care about the most, and he tries to talk himself out of his own feelings. he constantly compares himself to an animal (again, dinner scene with gaon and jinjoo) to justify his actions, and to possibly not feel anything; because that’s easier, isn’t it? not feeling. so on top of gaon calling him a monster and a killer, confronted with the possibility about being a villain in his own brother’s story, obviously sets him off. he beats down his emotions until he’s confronted with it - and this is what gaon also meant in ep 6 about how it’s ridiculous that yohan calls himself a monster over a victim because yohan can’t even see himself in that light. not because he truly believes victims are weak necessarily, but i wonder how much he realizes that what happened to him wasn’t his fault.

to me, and as i just said, yohan convinces himself he’s a monster to make it easier for himself to belief his actions (ep 5 telling gaon some humans are born monsters in relation to himself). it’s not that he inherently thinks he’s wrong, but i think his guidance for what’s right and wrong was misconstrued without a parent figure in his life, especially if he’d read crime and law books as the focus. yohan’s actions, at least quite a bit of them are, are based on a gut feeling of right and wrong. when you think about it and your own sense of justice, how would that differ without the checks and balances in place? what punishment do you think fits the crime if we weren’t bound by written law? yohan thinks any action to protect those he loves is, more or less, justifiable because it’s a means to an end. it’s making a worng right again.

i don’t think yohan is a monster. i think his feelings, and what he knows is love, is misconstrued in terms of how to express it. we see this in episode 7 with his and elijah’s conversation where she’s just trying to be a teen, but his version of love is protecting her without, once again, understanding family dynamics and the pain points of growing up, the learning she has to do on her own. yohan might technically be right; similar to being book-smart but not necessarily street smart. his theory of telling Elijah that she’s soft for kindness and being used was true, but his delivery and the idea that that’s how humans develop doesn’t work. he’s telling her text-book rules, but people don’t live through books. they live through real life. yohan reads to get a sense of fulfillment and to learn. he’s learned his way into adulthood, but that’s not normal.

so uh anyway, back to this familiar scene:

because we don’t know the actual story of isaac’s death, it’s hard to say what role yohan played in his death, but i don’t know that i believe he was the one who did it. the entirety of the devil judge is relying on unreliable narration, so it’s difficult to gauge (for now since we’re on ep 7) how this will turn out and what happened, but to me, it really comes across as yohan upset over the insinuation that he could be the one to cause the death of the one person he loved the most. plus, i think it says a lot that he cares/loves elijah, and she was part of isaac. gaon crossed a thine line. yohan essentially welcomed him in, and this is gaon toeing it. we can also look at this is not gaon being an outsider to their family, but now has become part of the family, and so it’s easier for yohan to be ‘abusive,’ if you will, rather than the perspective of gaon still on the sidelines and pushing too far. by this i mean, the accusations made by gaon threatens their formulating family dynamics.

and once again, the only person he ever actually reaches out for is isaac.

and then we have the aftermath of yohan’s nightmare, where he’s still caught in the dream as gaon comes in, and refuses to be touched after, even if gaon’s intention is to see if he’s okay. yohan makes it very clear to gaon not to touch him, and that’s when elijah comes in with a very accusatory ‘what are you two doing?’ in this moment, yohan is not just vulnerable, but he’s emotionally sensitive. i’ve no doubt he’s still dealing with a form of sensory overload from his dream.

and then, i don’t know that this was necessary? was it necessary?

the following set of scenes are the ones where gaon tells him he’s a victim and he hasn’t confronted his own emotions about his abuse. i think yohan realizes gaon is right to some degree, but it is convoluted, and it’s not so simple to face your own traumas. however, he does for a moment after gaon leaves, remember another instance of abuse he couldn’t stop but wishes he could, wishing a parental figure of sorts would’ve come in to save him like his older self is trying to save the kid version if only he could turn back time, if only he had the power to do what he wish someone else had done for him.

and then the kidnapping scene is just. fucked up in and of itself. it actually makes my skin crawl. not because sunah is scary necessarily, but the lack of autonomy yohan has - especially when we find out later more of sunah’s story. to do something like this after what she’s suffered through makes this scene even more disturbing.

you can see the moment yohan hears heels when sunah (not knowing it’s her yet) comes in. literally the minute he knows someone’s headed his way, he checks the fuck out. his whole face goes slack, especially when sunah reveals herself. and when she’s kissing him? blank as fuck, too. it’s the most dead-eyed stare i think we’ve seen from him.

episode six

so, we get this gem from elijah that i’d like to touch on later. it’s more speculation and just me running through ideas more than it is canon fact. but what it does let us know is that yohan doesn’t seek people out. he prefers to be at home and staying there.

after we get the maid story, and we do get yohan touching sunah’s cheek, and in some fucked up twisted way, this is his way of protecting one of the things isaac cherishes the most. the point of the gesture isn’t just intimidation but serves as an act of intent, of protection in the only way yohan knows how. he’s safeguarding isaac. you can tell he doesn’t actually like sunah at all as a kid, but uses that to his advantage. imagine yohan learning violence for ‘good’ things when his father used violence for ‘bad’ things. what a twisted way of looking at it? and the irony at hand.

additionally, the main reason i’ve included so many varying scenes of yohan touching people isn’t to establish that he’s okay with being touched given how many scenes there are of him randomly shaking people’s hand or touching them. it’s all about context and what the intent is for. most often than not, really way more often than not, yohan only reaches out for people when it’s socially acceptable to do so and because it’s manners. and yet, even in some of those cases, there is still intent behind the gesture.

the moments he acts out the most are when he’s not in front of an audience, when he’s more likely to be alone with his thoughts and is exceptionally more vulnerable to his own triggers.

and i think the scene after he’s back at his house from the kidnapping is noteworthy because it doesn’t just feel like he’s shaking off the effects of the drugs he was given. he seems to visibly trying to compose himself of the mental and physical play he just had to deal with.

the next scene is yohan angry with gaon for taking elijah out. which really, he does have every right to be angry, and one thing i didn’t note above during the ‘you killed your brother’ choke out scene before is that when yohan is backed into any kind of corner, he reacts like a caged animal.

because we’ve already established the scenes with his abuse, his father took his anger physically out on yohan. so how else was yohan supposed have developed the tools to express it? it’s easy to hurt the things you love the most; it’s easy to abuse the ones you know, and between gaon and himself, they both have an unhealthy dynamic because gaon is old enough, strong enough to take whatever yohan gives him. gaon is not family and so there’s still that clear divide and a distinction as to why he lays a hand on gaon but not elijah, for example. gaon can still pose a threat. elijah is family. then again, it can also be said that maybe yohan considers gaon family, and gaon betrayed elijah and therefore yohan, and you don’t do that. not with yohan’s understanding of family dynamics.

but with that said, it begs the question why yohan keeps gaon around, and i think some of that has to do with the fact that gaon surprises yohan. he might’ve set his sights on him long before he became an associate judge or maybe he took interest after gaon was chosen for the role (this is still up in the air), but deep down, yohan sees something in gaon despite his snooping, despite his righteousness. it could be the potential; it could be the fact that gaon could be better than yohan if he just allowed himself to loosen the ropes he’s tied himself with when it comes to the court of law and the justice system.

but here’s the thing that idk a lot of people have really picked up on. gaon is one side of the same coin underneath it all. he’s also provoked yohan with physicality when yohan brought up details about soohyun.

to be fair, we can say that yohan evokes a different type of anger in gaon, one that he hasn’t tapped into for years that allows him to open up to that more physical side of himself he learned to put behind him. gaon doesn’t really come across as the physically threatening type, but yohan does push his buttons and vice versa.

but then, of course, we have the big fight scene where gaon goes in on the attack, and that’s when yohan makes his threat not to attack him ever again. it’d be easy to say he says it based on the merit of him not actually attacking soohyun, but seriously speaking, the intent feels much more than that. more along the lines of asking gaon not to provoke him without warning again because next time might be bad. most of their other fights, especially the one above,have been in the midst of conversation. this time, it’s from a place of complete surprise, and you can tell yohan goes on the defensive when his first instinct is to not just throw gaon back but raise his fist to strike.

episode seven

the only physical contact yohan has with anyone is the president, and that’s when he turns on the live video of the two of them, and it’s clearly intended to be a lowkey threat. he keeps pulling the president back into his side to be on the live camera after the dude tried to come after yohan. i do think it’s hilarious that yohan manipulated the situation with a live component just as the president and the rest of the rich people thought they could turn a live court show into manipulating the public.

and then, of course, the jail scene. the part where he makes gaon stay. he also touches gaon’s shoulder later just before they leave.

episode eight

the most prominent scene in this ep is certainly the scene where sunah comes onto yohan, and you can tell she did it to get under his skin in some way. of course, he’s smart and knows she’s up to something, but i think it’s so interesting how he wraps his fists around hers, almost as if to tame her and prevent her from trying to further put her hands on him.

we also know yohan has no issue with using physical force regardless of who it is (obviously, his dialogue in this scene, too) when he feels caged or trapped. his intention is also to retrieve isaac’s necklace, and i like how he uses literally anything to his advantage. meaning, he’ll use physical touch, his mentality, etc to get what he wants or needs, even if it is marginally uncomfortable to some degree.

and i think that also says alot about him is that he’s able to displace what makes him uncomfortable in moments like this to achieve an end goal.

additional thoughts

i know this isn’t really common with a lot of the characters in general, and could be chalked up to a cultural component, but yohan’s definitely not a hugger.

the other thing i wanted to note is yohan’s seemingly adherence to touch unless it’s for good reason in relation to sex. the main reason i bring it up is because i’ve seen it discussed a bit, especially in regard to elijah’s comment about him not staying out overnight since the fire. there are a few plausible scenarios, maybe more, but for the sake of this, we’ll go for these.

yohan has had past relationships/experience or will in future episodes

day flings

he’s never had an interest in anyone before given his upbringing and abuse and therefore never sought out sex

inexperience could be from lack of interest in other people and sex itself

he’s never found anyone to really connect with and trust in such a way and has avoided it for that reason

and i bring this up mainly because i think it could be something to explore in fanon, but also because i’m kind of annoyed with how people have been talking about yohan being a virgin. i’m not quite sure what the joke is, but lack of sexual experience does not mean naive or that he doesn’t have a sense of humor when that’s clearly far from the truth:

i don’t know that people find it unbelievable because of his age, because of characterization of yohan being more dominant, but none of these things negate this being an option. i think it’s perfectly plausible of a situation (from what we know right now), and truthfully, it would make a whole lot of sense. i just don’t get the jokes about it that i’ve been seeing online (twitter) when there isn’t a mutual exclusiveness to any of it whatsoever.

yohan already has a hard time connecting with people, and i can imagine that level of physicality could be difficult. clearly he knows how to use a version of it to get what he wants. i’ve no doubt he’s used his charms in situations where he’s needed to. yohan knows he has that going for him, at the very least. but sexual appeal and jokes doesn’t mean having a body count any more than it could indicate there being one.

lastly, i also want to pull these paragraphs from @b612sunsets​‘s post because i think they do a much better job than i ever could of explaining, short and sweet, a fundamental part of yohan’s characterization, and mainly what i was trying to get at with this long ass post.

“There's two things we already know about Yohan from the last 6 episodes: he hates being touched when he doesn't see it coming and doesn't have control over it because of the abuse he suffered (I assume). To name a few: Soohyun grabbing his elbow to stop him from leaving and get answers about Gaon, the beggar that touched him while he searched for the fireman, Gaon after punching him and Yohan clearly telling him to NEVER do it again. The impression it gave to us is that if there's a next time he might not be able to stop his instinctive reaction of defending himself and using violence back (something worse than choking or pushing Gaon and he doesn't want to do that with him).

“Unless it's a friendly/small/slow touch like in the breakfast scene when Gaon touches his arm when he gets up to offer them some fruits. When he had the nightmare with Isaac, his walls were up high so even if he could see Gaon's touch coming and it was friendly, he decided to stop it because he was too defensive and sensible to accept the gesture (it would be the first time Gaon started physical contact with him too, he wouldn't be ready for that in such a state).

“The second thing is that Yohan hates when people take what is his or mess with what is important to him. Again, to name a few: Sunah with the necklace when she was a maid, the fireman with Isaac's watch (Yohan made them fall from high places, not caring if they died or not), the guy that fabricated the small bombs that hurt Gaon (Yohan would have burnt his face if "K" hadn't stopped him) and Gaon taking Elijah out of the house to Soohyun without previous notice (a cop and someone he doesn't trust).”

yohan has a very, very large sense of self-preservation for himself and for those he cares about. it’s in his intention, actions, facial expressions, movements, the way he interacts with people. i find it fascinating how calculating he can be, but at home, he’s at his most vulnerable and almost socially unaware and awkward.

yohan is a bit of an irony. he understands people from an action-oriented, instinctual level, but he doesn’t necessarily understand their thoughts and emotions in the waves of nuances that people live through on the daily. like, he gets it to an extent and on a practical level, but he himself is a square trying to fit into a circle - he doesn’t always understand it for himself and has to actively work on social cues so as not to come across as the devil child he was once painted to be.

and let it not be unsaid, yohan really will go to the ends of the earth for family, even if it means stepping out of his comfort zone.

and so anyway, i doubt this offered any real insight, but i think this is my way of breaking all of this down for myself. so, tada!!! lmao

[smol-jinyoungie96]

The Devil Judge

//may contain spoilers for those who haven’t watched it yet!//

Okay so!

I’m obsessed with the show so far! I keep thinking that if the first two episodes were this good and intense how awesome the rest of the 14 episodes are going to be??

Getting to Associate Judge, Kim Ga On..

This has to be one of my favorite characters ever. The character contrast between Gaon and Yohan is amazing.

I absolutely love how well Jinyoung portrays so many different emotions on a single episode. The way he is so cute and adorable with his love interest and the Chief Justice and the way he shows an entirely different side professionally as a judge blows my mind

But especially with Kang Yohan, even though he is clearly terrified of the guy he never shows it, he’s is such a precious and honest character. The fact that he is the “utopia” of a dystopian society at such a young age just shows that he is genuinely caring towards the country and the people.

Not to mention the fact that Kim Ga On is an actual baby when he is not being a judge or when he is not being a little spy. His chipmunk cheeks in the scene where they’re having breakfast, the shocked little pickachu face when he heard the 235 years of imprisonment verdict, the absolute baby face when he ran to protect the little girl 🥺🥺🥺

Jinyoungie did such an amazing job in playing Kim Ga On but also he plays another character too?

Can’t wait for more.

[lightstar789]

My Final Thoughts on My Deepest Secret

SPOILER WARNING FOR SEASON 3!

Well folks. We did it, we've reached the end, and I couldn't be anymore sadder.

I first discovered MDS when the season 2 finale banner went up. I clicked on it, expecting a melodramatic love triangle. However, when I clicked on episode 69 (bad move, I know now) I was shocked to see the black-haired boy, whom I thought was the second-lead, on the ground with a bloody arm, calling out Emma for committing a series of gruesome events. Emma, the innocent-looking protagonist suddenly threatening him with a knife? I couldn't believe it. And so I started reading.

Fast-forward nearly a year later, and it's time to bid farewell to this magnificent WEBTOON. So, I wanted to write my final thoughts on each of the characters, and the plot itself. Obvious spoilers ahead, so let's jump right into it!

THE PLOT:

My Deepest Secret drowns in twists, each one making the story more convoluted as I continued reading. Emma going from bubbly, with a mysterious past, to a broken young woman who just wants those around her to stop worrying about her and be happy. Elios going from charming, to a yandere, to not even being real in the first place, to being killed by Emma, to having him miraculously survive, to be the son of Mr. Oscar. Sophie turning into a backstabbing betrayer, to Yohan abandoning his morals in the pursuit of love, and Hana being a decent person underneath it all.

While some were good, some of these twists weren't executed well, and were inherently problematic from the presentation (looking at you, DID fakeout and Yohan throwing his morals away for Emma twists). I still held out to the end to see a resolution and hoped that the DID storyline was a hoax. Luckily, Emma clarified what she really suffered from, that being hallucinations and hearing voices, and I blew a sigh of relief.

THE CHARACTERS:

Emma Brenton: Let's start with our main protagonist with a mysterious past. Sweet, empathetic, and courageous, she was loveable in every single way. Though she was witless to "Elios'" doings, she still made a wonderful protagonist. However, things take a turn by the third season. After regaining her memories, she becomes heavy with guilt, and her personality becomes a lot more mature, still wanting to do what was right in the end and turning herself into the police, after it was revealed that she was behind most of the series' main conflicts. At the end of the day, I still love Emma, and I hope she's doing better in rehab.

Yohan Lee: One of my favorite fictional detectives ever! Charismatic, funny, but also incredibly sharp and intelligent, he instantly became my favorite character. I was literally rooting for him along with others for him to end up with Emma at the end. At least, until the third season. Hoo boy. He goes from being law-abiding and kind to becoming a rebel to the system, choosing to protect Emma from the law, against his own original morals. The twist came out of left field, and after finding out how he used Sophie as bait, it really left a sour taste in my mouth. I know one of the main themes of this webcomic is that 'not everyone's as they seem,' but the justice-seeking kid turning morally gray isn't something I was a fan of. Regardless, he's still an amazing and funny character, and he's still one of my favorites.

Elios Dunsworth: Where do I even begin? I went from hating him, absolutely detesting him, mind-boggled by how kind he actually is, and felt empathy towards him. Yandere!Elios was manipulative, mean, and a full on sociopath. This belief carried on for so long before it was revealed in episode 69 that Emma stabbed him a year ago, and has been hallucinating him out of guilt ever since, prompting her to 'become' Elios to subside those feelings. I immediately loved the real Elios, which we got to see during flashbacks to Emma's past, and the three-part "Elios" arc. He was putting on this perfect mask so as to not disappoint others around him, and seeing Farah gradually help him take it off was one of the sweetest things to ever happen in this comic. Elios becoming my favorite character by the end of the series is a sentence I would've never seen myself saying a year ago, but it's true!

Hanamika: I was hoping that Hana wasn't really romantically involved with the professor and didn't frame the trio for cheating, and boy was I relieved. Authors. This is how to write a best friend character. She's blunt, yet incredibly compassionate towards her friends. I smiled when she talked Yohan out of committing suicide, knowing full well it would've worked, because it was her. She's the no-nonsense, loyal, and caring BFF that Yohan definitely needed, and I think they make a fine pair (platonically)!

Sophie McCarthy: As soon as she appeared, I knew she was going to do something bad. And I was right. She put herself down an unhealthy amount, to the point that I started to cast suspicions on her. Enter season 2, where she accidentally pushes Emma into a river, and doesn't think of telling anyone else. I pity her, because she got the short end of the stick, having been bullied, used as bait by Yohan, stabbed, knocked unconscious and entering a coma, but she still did those things to Emma and never apologized. I don't exactly hate her, but don't like her at the same time.

Farah: Literally the sweetest girlfriend anyone could ask for. No wonder Emma was jealous. She helped Elios take of his mask and remained patient for him, even though she knew it'd take a long time. She's so sweet that she still managed to feel pity for Emma when she was holding her at knifepoint. Thank god she wasn't run over by that car and was able to get help for Elios.

Nura Kim: A complete foil to Hana, Nura is the stereotypical sassy best friend trope that I have come to hate, but with a twist. She's actually concerned for Emma's well-being, convincing her to report her sexual assault case to the police, and is insanely protective of the main trio. She's extremely violent, and has literally chased and beat up Yohan once he was accused of calling Emma fat (he didn't). She also has threatened to kill the professor who assaulted Emma. While I was sure that at one point, she'd actually commit a crime, luckily, she didn't. I was pretty surprised she got engaged to Jamie of all people though, but they have an interesting dynamic. Never change Nura, never change.

Overall, that's all I have to say about the WEBTOON. Full of engaging and funny characters, yet with a morbid plot, My Deepest Secret does a good job with balancing the dark with the light. I'm sad to see this one come to an end, and I hope that Hanza Art will create many more in the future. I wish them the best of luck in the future, and hope that people remember this comic for many years to come. Goodbye, My Deepest Secret, and thank you.

[nanachingu]

Drama Review: Mouse

I’ve been active lately because I have another drama worth-reviewing for the 2nd quarter of 2021. This drama one of the most complicated story I’ve ever watched. Tips for watching this drama: keep focus and pay attention to all scenes because the details really help you understanding the drama. This story really not as simple as you think, like other drama we find who the villain and protagonist is the main lead, but this drama is not just about that. We’ll be given another plot twist in every episode and suspicious to every character.

*this post will contain spoiler to the story, please keep it mind*

The poster describe our main lead in this drama. I’ve been following all SeungGi drama since My Girlfriend Is A Gumiho. Actually he was the man that introduce and lead me to K-drama. My first drama was My Girlfriend Is A Gumiho and I love Lee Seung Gi. I think he always took a good drama and when announced that he’ll take a role in this drama, I’m really excited. As for the other three I knew them but not quite follow their acting career but it turns out they really good portray their character especially the one who played as Go Moo Chi. This drama will center on Jung Ba Reum (Lee Seung Gi) life.

Jung Ba-Reum (Lee Seung-Gi) is a rookie police officer, working at a police substation. He is an honest person and tries to attain justice. He faces a psychopath murderer, who places the entire nation in fear. Jung Ba-Reum’s life is totally changed afterwards.

Source: AsianWiki

This picture above show us how our main lead meet each other. When Bareum trying to save injured bird, Go Moo Chi car is blocked by them. They’re police and trying to catch psycopath that killed their important people. We got police as our main leads, television producer, highschool student that will become the main story and also a doctor as a candidate of psychopath and another doctor that proved as a psychopath.

Welcome, this is Han Seo Jun. One of the psychopath that shocked the public because he’s a great surgeon and has a nice reputation before a child revealed him as a psychopath and murder his parents. He’s the cause that this drama exist haha because he was succeed gave his psychopath gene to his child. You can’t say that his child will inherited his father gene 100%, but this is spoiler that Han Seo Jun really succeed. His child really have no emotion and smart, qualified to become the next psychopath.

SPOILER *(I know if you treated better, you didn’t have to become like your father *cries*)*

This is the first candidate as Han Seo Jun child or the new psychopath. Sung Yo Han. If you see his face and expression, he’s really suited to become the next psychopath. And he’s a doctor. Han Seo Jun also a doctor. And it turned out that his mom is Han Seo Jun ex’s wife. Automatically become the 1st and most likely candidate of the next psychopath. I just can say that Yohan was one of the most tragic character in this drama. You deserves better. I’m sorry that people really harsh on you, but believe me I’m always sure that you’re more than psychopath like others said ㅋㅋㅋㅋ.

Meet our main lead, Jung Ba Reum. He’s really kind police officer. But somehow we can’t take out him as the next candidate of psychopath. Jan Seo Jun also known as a kind and humble doctor but it turned out he has no emotion and all of it just an acting. Who knows that Ba Reum actually like that? *(I know I already watched itㅋㅋ)*. But after few episodes, something big happen and it’ll really change Ba Reum life. His life is not the same anymore and will lead the drama to a next level.

The last candidate, but I’m kinda sorry to write this but it’s one of my opinion. This is Detective Shin. I know that it’s not just me who accused him as one of the psychopath because of his father!!! The three of them I think born on the same year, so they were born when Han Seo Jun case was discussed and psychopath test on unborn child was questioned. Detective Shin’s father was one of the important people in government and has a vote to agree or disagree to psychopath test and he chose no because he’s expecting a child after a long time. He didn’t want to let go his baby if it turned out that from the test he has psychopath gene. Eventhough it’s just our speculation but I accused that his child has psychopath gene because of some scenes in the drama. Sorry… In the current timeline Detective Shin’s father also become president candidate while Detective Shin help Moochi and Bareum investigate the predator.

So who’s the real predator here?

We can see that tvN update the new poster after several episodes to show where the story will go. Like I said, something big will change Bareum’s life and it shows in the picture. Kind and innocent image Bareum change to more mysterius and dark Bareum. After watching Bareum’s changes, hm we’ll realized that this drama is more complicated than we think. It’s not just about finding the psychopath, but how we can put all the details that we get into another one story that will blow your mind. Lee Seung Gi as Jung Ba Reum wow he really potrays the character really well, even I the one who always follow Lee Seung Gi’s movie and drama still amazed with his skill in this drama. It applied to Lee Hee Joon that play Go Moo Chi character. Many applause to his acting. He describing sad, sorrow, and losing someone important while angry to situation, he really can describe it well. Argh I really wanna share my opinion about all the details but it’s too much spoiler for the story and I’m sure when you already know too much spoiler, the drama isn’t as good as before anymore.

It was more painful than another psychopath drama because….. we’ll see the story from another point of view that drama usually will show, and I don’t know how the writer-nim can think and make this plot. Because of this, I’m interested to watch this writer-nim another drama. Just a TMI, I heard that Mouse already shows as a cameo in writer-nim previous drama called Black. People said that we can see a few scenes about Mouse drama there but no one realized until the drama really airedㅋㅋㅋ Unfortunately I didn’t watch Black drama so I just knew from other people. Watching this drama feels like we’ll get another perspective about psychopath and I think actually society really made a big impact to create someone’s life. As a parents, you’ll have a big responsibilty of your children. How you raise them, and if you really think about society and peoples judgement but didn’t gave your best to your child then what’s the use??? I kinda hate the mom here. I know she’s scared, but it’s her choice but she can’t take a responsibility for her action. If she believe to her action, I know…. this drama will not be exist 😂😂

So last but not least, don’t forget our child actor Kang Hoon that really portray his character as Jae Hoon really well. I always admire his acting since his acting in When The Camellia Blossom. I’m sure that he’ll be a great actor in the future. His range of acting is really wide considering his age and his experiences. From the start until the end, he give us excellent acting for his character and I hope you will get better and better in the future. Fighting Kang Hoon!

One of my favorite quote but also most heartbreaking scene in this drama:

"In the next life, let’s meet each other when I’m born again as a normal person."

Okay! So I write this like after the night this drama ends and overall I really like the ending with all the plot and genre it’s perfect. Eventhough this drama is really complicated, but they wrap up the ending well. All clear and all scenes are explained well. I can’t ask for more. My rating for this drama is 5 out of 5 star ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️. Please if you really have time and wanna watch this drama, please watch it. It’s really worth it!

See you in another review!!! (hope there are more good drama that worth to review in the future!!)

“God heard our prayers… We’re no longer monsters..”

[prncssguya]

Cha Kyung-hee and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

TDJ ep 11 spoilers ahead. 

Wow. The Devil Judge just keeps raising the stakes every episode

Minister Cha watched everything she built collapse in a day. Her secretary quit. Even the president was ready to throw her and her son under the bus. (He needs to go next pretty please. Him and his wife remind me so much of Trump and Melania, but Melania would never be that close to Trump lol). They actually had me feeling sorry for her...for a second. I held my breathe at the scene in the car when she realized it wasn’t her secretary driving the car but local hottie K. That boy has so much restraint, I would have whipped to the side or something lol. I don’t have any remorse for her because in the words of Yohan this episode: “The self pity of the powerful. It makes me sick.”

When K explained how his father was wronged and committed suicide because of her methods, all she had to say was “you resemble your father.” seriously?? She had no remorse or apologies for all the pain she’s caused and she loves to write it off as just her trying to survive. What exactly is in this file she’s been collecting? The president seemed kind of concerned about it.

Can i also say she’s been holding her own against Yohan, but when he joined hands with Sun Ah that’s what brought her down. The last thing she said to her family was not to be weak, but that ending. Did she not take the easy way out? Why would she do that? I need more people to comment on this bc I’m trying to understand the reason.

Kim Ga On sweetie, you’ve really changed huh? Not me expecting him to freak out and be totally traumatized at seeing someone commit suicide but he’s just like “we have to find the files” W.T.F. And why are you, a judge, contaminating a crime scene?? Why would do that and Yohan is so is shock I guess that he can’t say anything to him?

Well if this judge thing doesn’t work out, Kim Ga On has a very promising career as a chef. 

Yes baby deer, just go open a restaurant, this judge stuff is hurting you too much.

That dinner scene. Sun Ah’s jealousy at Ga On blending into the family. Elijah asking her favorite question: are you dating? and Yohan denying it. Sun Ah saying to Ga On that she didn’t know he had so many talents and Ga On saying he didn’t know she had so many talents either and Yohan holding in his smile. *beautiful* 

Why are they like this? You lost bro? Yeah lost in your eyes bro?

The jenga scene, they’re such a family. Yohan wants to be included so bad, but he doesn’t know how to say it. Elijah is just like “leave it he won’t play.”

Ga On said

I’m so glad Ga On called out that priest for what he said about Yohan. Like you’re an adult now and you’re calling him creepy and a devil for staring at you and the kids playing. Don’t you think that’s because he wanted to play too? Just a really dumbass narrative.

Yohan was waiting on Ga On to ask him to join, he’s too cute. 

Look they’re communicating with their eyes again. He’s grateful that he got to play a game with his beloved niece and it was all because of therapist mommy Kim Ga On I’m not crying

hold on a secong. man hold on a second. Yohan that’s reserved for ga on, what are you thinking. I love how honest yohan was in this scene, like here’s my beloved brother’s necklace that i choked you a while ago to get back but you can have and yes I’m totally manipulating you lol. And Sun Ah telling Jae Hee that she kind of wants to be manipulated?? I’m sorry I have trauma from nevertheless I guess, but she reminded me of nabi. You know this man is toxic and he’s playing you but nooo you just can’t help yourself ok

Is Sun Ah going to make up her mind on Yohan the next episode? Because it seems like she will get rid of the necklace and start going after people Yohan cares about. I think she wants to be the only person Yohan has.

Ga On and Soo Hyun- so I’ve been putting off saying anything about these two because it’s caused so much toxicity in this fandom and I really just don’t care enough about their relationship to say anything. Honestly idc if they end up together or not, it wouldn’t make sense to me if they did though. Just because has seen the other side of the law, he has seen what works and what doesn’t. SH doesn’t understand with her black and white morals. I don’t want Ga On to lose this relationship because I fear the moment he does, that’s when he will really go off the deep end and the previews don’t look that great. SH is a good person, but she just annoys me as a character. 

The preview has me so scared tbh, I won’t be able to sleep tonight

I think it’s you who needs to leave them alone

Seems like gahan is fighting again because of you guessed it, Soo Hyun

Glad he’s finally just come out and said it. He’s obviously annoyed and so am I. This statement could also be because he’s feeling possessive of Ga On. He finally has someone like a friend and family to him and I honestly think he wants to protect him like Elijah. Also he knows that Soo Hyun’s morals will get in the way of his ultimate goals idk. If you’re mad at Yohan for telling him to cut off SH that’s understandable. I just hope Ga On makes the best decision for himself, I see lots of hurt for him in the future. I also think his mentor might d word next episode, just a feeling. What will become of him when he’s lost the people who’s been a moral compass for him most of his life?

Sun Ah saying that she wants Yohan to be as lonely as her. Is she going to make a move against Ga On? If something happens to Yohan... I can’t even finish that thought. Is he going to end up like this trying to rescue GO?? Looks like one of @bitacrytic​ bingo board predictions will come true

Get up you’re fine haha.

please stop.

vibe check?  🥲

[bossyohan]

Seungyoun; Enemies-To Friends-To Lovers (au.)

You and Seungyoun always admired each other

Both having your majors in music and in production/composing, you had a lot of the same classes together

You somehow ended up being in the same classes that were unrelated to your majors also, which meant seeing each other maybe 90% of the time on campus

And the other 10% would be off-campus, when you’d try to find different spots to get your creative flow going

Whether it be the coffee shop, a bench in the park, etc.

You’d think that you were on a first-name basis with him at least, but no

He didn’t acknowledge you at all during these times

And when you all had to share your work in class, there would always be positive feedback from all of the students except for Seungyoun

So you decided not to acknowledge him either

But you do have ears, and it’s clear to you that he’s something of a master at composing

Instrumentals, lyrics, the whole thing

And that makes you a bit insecure, which only makes you try harder with your music

And it makes h i m insecure when he hears how effortlessly brilliant your works sound

So this silent battle of “who is better?” plays out for the whole first semester, and you both excel and succeed on just about the same level

But for the next semester, something changed in the way the class works

Your professor assigned each student a partner to create something together as a final project.

And what were the chances that you and seungyoun got paired together? 100%, apparently

For a while, Seungyoun still didn’t speak to you, so you continued to ignore him also, too stubborn to be the first one

Three weeks passed, and you still had some time to get the project done, but you both still didn’t interact

Until you got a message one day from one of your friends (Yohan)

“Wow, why is Seungyoun asking me for your phone number ☺️”

And for a moment, you forgot that those two had been friends for a while, but he clearly knew the situation between you two

“Probably because we have a project to do?”

“probably? hm.”

“Just give him my number and be quiet.”

“Don’t think I forgot about you saying you have a crush on this ‘kinda rude guy in my class’ y/n” he replied, which you ignored

And a few minutes later, you get a text from an “unknown” number asking to meet you at the campus library

So you start walking to the library, but suddenly start to feel anxious about meeting with him

He’d never spoken to you before this, so you don’t really know how or what to say either

Once you get there, you scan the tables briefly to see him facing his Mac, messing around with a few things on garage band

You walk over and sit in front of him, hoping he notices

And he does, immediately taking off his headphones and looking back at you

There’s a few moments of silence that gets a bit awkward before he asks you

“So…what do you wanna do?”

You shrug, replying with “I don’t know, what do you wanna do?”

And more silence follows

“Well…we can pick a theme first. Do we want light, dark, theatrical, poppy…” he says

“I’m not sure…we have the option to make it into a song instead of just instrumentals too. I know that you sing, so did you want to do that, or?”

“Only if you want to sing too”

“I’m not that great at singing though…” you say, getting embarrassed at just the thought of the attempts you made in the past

“I think your voice is good” he says, now changing your embarrassment into bashfulness

And then, confusion

“When did you hear me sing?” you asked him

He kinda froze, looking straight at you as the words cranked out of his brain and through his mouth

“Just a few times when I’d go to the production room when you were already in there.”

You just nod, trying not to think any more about it

“Well, I guess we can make it a song then. I don’t mind singing.” He said, changing the subject

“Great, so now we pick a theme”

And the theme you pick is dark

Not necessarily dark as in “scary or sad”, but the tempo or energy isn’t as fast paced as most songs are

You want the song to convey a different feeling to everyone

So slowly, but surely, you both collaborate

He suggested using elements from a project that you did in the previous semester, which surprised you that he remembered it at all, being as he seemed uninterested in your presentations

And you recommended to mix your instrumentals together to lead into the chorus, merging your sounds for a major part

Seungyoun excitedly works on it, smiling back at you as it played out exactly the way you two wanted

You mark that as the first time he genuinely smiled at you, making your heart flutter at how cute he looked when he did

Then you think about how he looks when he’s working, lips pouty and cheeks puffed, being cute once again

And then you decide to stop yourself from crushing on him, when the only things you two had ever talked about was about the project

“now really isn’t the time” you think to yourself, shaking your head to focus on what your next steps in the project were gonna be

You’re a few weeks in now, but you two may have gotten carried away

The song was almost done now that he had the lyrics placed perfectly with the instrumentals (after a lot of changes, of course)

So you recommended taking a little break to catch up/focus on your other classes for a while more, which he agreed on

You suggested this mainly to keep your feelings at bay, upset about how you let your heart overpower your mind

Though you two never spoke in the past, he did pay a lot of attention to you, remembering your past work, bringing you your favorite coffee drink when you two were working because he remembered what you had gotten the last time, and a lot more

But you knew that it was absolutely platonic, and that made you a little sad

Yet, you accepted it and carried on

You thought that Seungyoun would’ve actually accepted the break with the project, but he still asked you to meet with him one night at the cafe

And you wanted to say that you were busy, but you clearly would’ve been lying since you caught up on your homework for astronomy already

You expected to find him there with his MacBook open and headphones on, but instead, he was just at a table, surface bare, typing away on his phone

Your face must’ve shown your major confusion, because when he looked up, he asked if you were okay

Nodding, you sat down, unknowingly tapping your foot out of anxiousness

“Where’s your computer?” You asked him

“I left it in my dorm room. We were taking a break, right?” He asked, just as confused as you were

“Oh…I thought you asked me to meet you here to work on the project…” you answered

He paused for a moment, scratching the back of his neck before smiling at you

“I should have said it in the text, but I was just hungry and thought you would’ve wanted something here too. I doubt you ate today. Yohan mentioned you forget to eat sometimes”

And it was true, you did forget to eat dinner, but you wondered why Yohan talked about you to him

Then you realized that Seungyoun asked you here just on friendly terms, finally settling the internal dispute you had of “are we friends or just co-workers?”

So you both ordered, and he payed

And you talked about things other than music, like how you both met Yohan at the most inconvenient but perfect moments, the pets you’ve had, and the infamous “is water wet” question

The conversations lasted for a good hour before you realized that you two were the only ones left and that they’d close the cafe soon

Not wanting to be nuisances, you both left before they closed and just walked back to the dormitories

You didn’t have much else to say until he broke the silence one again

“I’m glad we got paired together. If we didn’t, I’d think you’d still hate me” he said with a sad laugh

You turned to him in shock, immediately saying

“I never hated you! I thought you hated me up until maybe two weeks ago?”

“Two weeks ago? Why?”

“You never reacted to my presentations”

“Neither did you!”

“You also never talked to me in any of the classes we had together”

“Yeah, because you never talked to me”

“Wow…we’re the worst at communicating, huh”

He just laughed at the situation

“I was too scared to react to your compositions. I felt like if I gave any comment or critique, then you’d ruin my life when I presented” he told you

“Are you kidding me? Do you really think that your songs weren’t good? I always dreaded presenting after you because I knew you’d have something amazing. Everyone in the class loved what you made, you know that?” You said, projecting your feelings towards him and his music into “everyone”.

He smiled bigger this time, thanking you quietly for saying so

“Well, knowing that you don’t actually never hated me makes me feel even better than knowing the rest of the class likes my work” he said

Now you were at a loss for words, smiling back at him to maybe fill in the silence with a happy gesture

Days pass by and you get texts here and there from Seugyoun that range from

“Do you think you can help me study for *insert subject here*?”

To

“I really think that giving the ducks on campus bread to eat isn’t good for them”

And you end up being with him a lot, even if it’s unintentional

It got to the point where Yohan made a group chat with the two of you and named it “traitors” since you often forget to ask him to hang out with you both

“Yohan, you’re in class right now”

“Okay, but I could’ve skipped to go and have lunch with you both”

Your relationship with Seungyoun grew really strong super fast, and you’ve somehow managed to keep down the feelings you were having for him before

You thought that being his friend was more that perfect at the moment

Even at the points where you were both stressed, he managed to boost both of your spirits that made you wonder why you were stressed in the first place

Until one incident happened

Once you two started working on the project again, everything had gone smoothly

He recorded his voice, and you edited it in with the background music.

You asked him to listen back on it, hoping he’d catch any editing mistakes you may have made

Seungyoun listened, nodding his head as he smiled at the distortions you added for a new effect.

“I really don’t have to fix anything. You did great, as always” he said, pausing the track to talk to you

Just as you were about to reply, the lights dimmed a bit in the studio.

And the systems shut down.

Seungyoun just stared at the dead screen, waiting for it to boot up, but you could tell that he was irritated

Once it fully turned back on, he immediately went to check on the file

Which wasn’t there

And so he stares blankly at the screen again, a million things going through his mind about what just happened

“I…don’t think the file saved, y/n, I’m sorry” he said sadly, clicking on different folders to see if it was maybe saved somewhere else

“What? No, it’s fine! I saved it on my drive before you put yours in, remember?” You told him as you pulled it out of your pocket

The look of relief on his face as he stood up and hugged made you laugh, glad that you thought ahead before a disaster hit

“God…why are you so great?” He asked, finally letting go of you

You just shrugged and smiled, going to put the drive back in to listen to the song again, but before you could, heard him say

“I could really kiss you right now”

And you try not to think about what he had said, but it’s obviously hard not to when the statement was as bold as it was

You just assumed that he was joking with you, because, well, he just does that sometimes

So you turned back answered with a laugh

“Yeah. The same to you”

And deep down inside, you meant that, no matter how hard you tried to ignore the scratching sensation of your true emotions dying to burst out of your heart

You thought that it would eventually go away, until you felt his hand resting on your cheek, and then his warm lips on yours

Now this was the time your own mind went blank, trying to process what was happening

And when you finally did, you didn’t waste a second to kiss back

When you broke apart, you tried evening out your breath to ask him

“If I didn’t say I wanted to kiss you too, what would you have done?”

“I would’ve asked if I could. And then you’d say yes, and I’d kiss you” he said with a serious look on his face before cracking out a laugh

And you pushed him slightly for that

“How would you have known I’d say yes?”

“I mean, when you tell people like Yohan a secret, it never stays a secret, you know?”

You just raise an eyebrow at him before realizing what he meant

“So you knew I had a crush on you this whole time? And never said or did anything about it?”

“I had to be sure! It was a while ago that he told me, I didn’t know if you were already with someone else”

“I think you would’ve know. We literally saw each other everywhere, remember?”

He just nodded and smiled

“Well. We could make up for that time now if you wanted to…date? Maybe?”

“Of course, Seungyoun”

“Woah, really?” He said, his smile a thousand times bigger now

“Yes! Did you think I’d say no?”

“I honestly didn’t think this far in” he told you, making you laugh this time

You thought for a moment before telling him

“Let’s not tell Yohan about this yet, unless you’re ready for him expecting us to thank him for ‘setting us up’”

“True. Even though he kinda did…”

“Yeah, but he’s still just getting over the fact that we became friends and forgot to invite him with us places”

“…Right. He can wait a bit”

[nojaemblog]

X1 Reaction to you seeing them after 4 years and letting them meet their child(hyung line version)

Warnings: none

Requested: yes from :) anon

Notes: I hoped this is what you meant, I imagined y/n parting with x1 and not telling them that she is pregnant and after 4 years they meet again. Also I don't know if you wanted this reaction only with hyung line, since they are old enough to have kids, but you can message me and I can write a maknae line version as well ❤️

Han Seungwoo

when he saw you for the first time after 4 years, he was shocked to say the least

he noticed a small girl sitting next to you and almost immediately thought that she looks like him

seungwoo kind of hoped you will say that she is his daughter

when you confirmed his thoughts, he didn't know how to react

but he was one hundred percent sure that he wants to take part in his daughter's life, whatever it takes

"Is she really ours?"

Cho Seungyoun

after he received a letter from you saying that you wanted to meet him at a coffee shop you used to go to, he was beyond happy

seungyoun was mostly curious about how your life has been in the past years

did you change?

will you think that he has changed?

was he nervous? no.

seungyoun arrived at the coffee shop a little bit earlier than planned, so he took his favorite spot next to a window

he looked outside and immediately noticed your figure

but you weren't alone

you entered the coffee shop with a little girl holding your hand

upon seeing his shocked face you told him about the reason behind this meeting

seungyoun started speaking to the little girl and asked her questions, trying to befriend her

-nd he hoped that he could talk to you more in detail about his daughter and how can he get involved in your lives

"Aren't you really pretty? You look exactly like y/n!"

(imagine hangyul is your daughter and seungyoun is playing with her lol)

Kim Wooseok

wooseok was out doing the groceries, as usual

and he stumbled upon you

he saw how uncomfortable you seemed so he wanted to keep it short, just saying a brief hello and asking if you could talk later

but he couldn't finish his sentence, because a small boy came towards you two asking"mommy, can we buy this plushie, please?"

"mommy?" he whispered

he looked at you and noticed the apologetic look on your face

"i can explain-" "is he my son?"

you didn't know how to say it, so you just nodded

his first thoughts were : "why didn't you tell him?" "did you not trust him?" "if he hadn't meet you, would you have ever told him?"

wooseok really didn't know what to do, but he wouldn't ever judge you

he asked if he can spend the day with you two and promised that he will try his best to help you and your son out

"Whatever you need, I'm here"

Kim Yohan

after you and yohan parted ways you still kept in touch

mostly through messages, and sometimes he would call you on your birthday and vice versa

but one day he received an unexpected call from you

"hello?"

"please help me"

he heard your sobs through the phone and helped you to calm down

he asked you what happened and if he could help you somehow

"minhyuk ran away... i can't find him..."

he didn't know who this 'minhyuk' boy was

your boyfriend?your new dog?

but he immediately put on his clothes and ran to your place

he knocked on your door and he did not expect you to hug him so tight after opening the door

yohan entered your apartment and he saw toys scattered everywhere

"is minhyuk...your child?" he asked

"he...he is our son"

and his eyes went O.O(joking haha), but yes , he was shocked

-he remembered why he came here in the first place,and now, his wish was to find this boy more than anything

-yohan asked you what happened and you told him that you were in the backyard playing 'hide and seek' with minhyuk and after half an hour of trying to find him you started to panic and searched after him everywhere

he tried to reach the door knob to search for his son outside

but the door opened by itself

"mommy, look what i found! who are you?"

you two went to the little boy and hugged him tight

yohan thought "how could such a small boy go so far away from home and not be scared?" "oh... he really is my son after all"

"Is that a butterfly? Amazing!"

Lee Hangyul

he had a concert with x1 near your area and asked if you could come

you went to the concert and had your fun, your daughter sitting on your shoulders for most of the night (ouch)

after the show ended you were taken backstage by the staff

you saw all the x1 members, bowed to them and congratulated them for the great show

hangyul came to you and started playing with the little girl, making her laugh

"who is she, y/n? she's so cute!"

"she is minseo"

upon hearing that name, his faced dropped, that was the name he always told you he would want to give to his daughter

you explained to him that she is, in fact, his daughter

he smiled brightly at the girl, with tears in his eyes

"shall we play now? are you hungry, minseo?" "and I am not done with you, y/n. we should talk"

hangyul looked at you with hope in his eyes that you would talk to him in detail about the past 4 years, and about minseo

"Minseo-yah we are gonna play more, from now on!"

[smileyyohan]

Hyung Line Reaction to you confessing to them

Han Seungwoo:

You and Seungwoo already knew each other before Seungwoo debuted in Victon and real soon also in X1. Seungwoo met you when he was seated next to you during biology class. Immediately, you two became friends and helped each other through thick and thin. You however felt a little bit more for Seungwoo than just being best friends. You could not not notice how good looking he actually was. He also was extremely helpful for you and all of that made you fall for him hard. Tonight was the debut showcase for X1 and because you are Seungwoo his best friend, he insisted you that you should go to their showcase to cheer on him. But sitting there and cheering on your friend wasn’t the only thing you planned to do tonight. After the show you planned to confess to your beloved friend and hopefully you two can continue your journey as couple. The show just ended and you are now waiting backstage for your friend Seungwoo, so you can finally tell him something you wanted to say ages ago. You felt like dying because you were so nervous. What if he says no and your yearlong friendship goes down the drain? More time to stress wasn’t possible because Seungwoo came to you, giving you a bone crushing hug. ‘I’m so happy that you could come today y/n’ he says when he breaks the hug and looks at you with a huge smile. ‘Can I talk to you in private?’ You said while trying not to look like you’re about to die ‘I want to tell you something’. Seungwoo nodded in response and took your left arm, leading you and him to a quiet room. ‘So y/n?’ he says while looking at you worryingly ‘what’s the matter?’ ‘Well-‘ you started followed by grabbing both of his hands in your much smaller ones ‘I like you’. ‘That feeling is mutual’ seungwoo says looking at you with a confused expression. ‘I do not mean in a best friend way’ you interrupted him ‘I like you in a, you know, romantic way’. Before you could apologize for even thinking he might feel the same, he lowered down to your height and kissed your lips. ‘Ah I was planning to confess too’ he said afterwards ‘I loved you the moment you complained about that biology test 4 years ago’ he said with a grin, which made you feel dumb founded. ‘So we are now dating?’ you ask hopefully. ‘I thought I made it obvious’ he said laughing.

Cho Seungyoun:

Today you and your friend Seungyoun are going to work at his workplace, producing songs. That’s also the way you two came across each other because you both love being in the studio creating song after song. Normally, you wouldn’t feel nervous, but today is another story. Today you will let Seungyoun hear a song that you made. It’s not a regular song though, it’s a song where you confess your feelings to him. Scared is how you would describe how you feel right now. You don’t know what to do when Seungyoun doesn’t get the message or even worser, when he’ll reject your confession. It would crush you and you are not ready for that. ‘You ready Y/n?’ Seungyoun says when he sees you entering the studio ‘I made some tracks that I’m really proud of’. ‘I’m always ready’ you said grinning while taking the seat next to his ‘show me what you got Seungyoun’. After Seungyoun gave you his tracks to listen to, it was your turn to show him what you recently created. When you opened the document where the song was put in, you felt like jumping of a cliff. And when he pressed ‘play’ to start the track, you knew there was no way back and you could just pray for the best. When the track was finished, you looked at your palms, too scared to actually look up. ‘Was it about me y/n?’ he says sounding way more serious than the Seungyoun you know. You didn’t even dare to look up, being afraid how you would respond if you saw his face. Too afraid of how your voice would sound if you chose to talk, you decided to nod as response. ‘Are you serious?’ Seungyoun said happily which made you look up in shock ‘I never thought you would like me back’ ‘You like me too?’ You asked him looking surprised at his sudden happiness. ‘yes y/n, I’m so in love with you, you don’t even know’ he said while embracing you in a hug ‘so do you wanna date?’ ‘Guess I can call you now my boyfriend’ was your response which made him smile and peck your forehead.

Kim Wooseok:

You groaned when your friends came up with their perfect idea for a dare during a game of truth or dare. They forced you to confess to whoever you liked. The whole time they asked you during your truths questions to would hopefully expose your longtime crush on Kim Wooseok, who sits across of you. Unfortunately you never said his name during the game, so your friends found out that this would work. ‘Do I really need to do this?’ you said while trying so hard not to scream at your annoying friend who picked the lovely dare. ‘It’s either you who will say it or me that will say it so pick whatever suits you the best’ she said while hitting your shoulder lightly ‘You hate guts now, but you’ll love me afterwards’. Knowing that letting your friend confess your feelings to Wooseok would be even worser, you decided to man up and hope the embarrassment wouldn’t be that big when Wooseok will reject you. You take a deep breath and walked to Wooseok, who looked like an angel wearing his white shirt, black pants and round glasses. ‘Kim Wooseok,’ You started with looking to him ‘We don’t really know each other well, but I like you, a lot’. ‘I love everything about you, and I would like to start dating you and calling you my boyfriend’. Wooseok his friends screamed when they realized it was Wooseok that you liked. You however, felt like crying because you could not see if Wooseok felt the same or not. His facial expression is unreadable. When Wooseok saw that you thought he rejected you, he took your hand in his and lowered down to kiss you, causing the whole group to scream loud. ‘I like you too, you dork’ he said with a smile ‘and perhaps we should go out for a date right now and let these idiots do whatever they want’ ‘Sounds like an amazing idea’ you said with a shocked but happy face ‘See you later’. You and Wooseok left immediately to get to his favorite caf�� to drink and have a lovely first date.

Kim Yohan:

Today was the final of the national championship in the category Taekwondo. Your close friend and crush in one, Kim Yohan, is one of the particpants. He asked you if you could go to cheer him on and help him when he feels nervous. Of course you couldn’t reject his offer and that makes you sit right here in this uncomfortable chair, watching your friend competing for the trophy. You are screaming his name out loud, cheering for him while holding a banner with his face on it. When you showed Yohan beforehand that you will use this banner, he laughed at you and thought you were joking. Jokes on him because here you are with your lovely banner. Too much focusing on your cheerleading skills for Yohan, you suddenly saw that Yohan fell. It wasn’t a regular fall and he didn’t stand up which he normally does, which made you run down the stairs. ‘GET OUT OF MY WAY’ you screamed at every person that came in your way ‘THATS MY BOYFRIEND’. You didn’t realized that you called him your boyfriend which he wasn’t , but at that moment you didn’t care. You needed to be there for him. When you arrived, you immediately kneel down next to Yohan, whose face was full of pain. Your heart broke at the sight of it. ‘Yohan,’ you say while looking at him with a panicked expression ‘are you okay?’ ‘Before Yohan could respond, the first aid worker, asked you if you could help them lifting Yohan up. You helped them getting Yohan to the treatment room. It hurted to carry his weight because even though he’s light, you are not that strong. When you arrived at the room, the worker asked you to wait outside while they treat his ankle. You sat down in the chair nearby while reflecting what just happened. You know how weak Yohan his ankle is, and that made you panic. What if this injury is too severe? What if he can’t do what he loves anymore? You honestly couldn’t care less that he didn’t win today, the only thing you care about is his well-being. After an hour, the aid worker opened the door and said you could go to Yohan. When you came in, you saw Yohan smiling to you with the gummy smile he always has. ‘So, boyfriend huh?’ he said with a smile, which made you look confused until you realized that you called him your boyfriend when you ran down. ‘Yeah-uhm’ you stutter ‘I’m sorry about that-,’ ‘I didn’t say I don’t want to be your boyfriend’ he says interrupting you which made you smile. You couldn’t form a decent response. Your crush said he wants to date you. It made Yohan smile, seeing you so flustered. ‘So is It a yes’ Yohan asked. ‘Yes!’

Lee Hangyul:

Fourteenth of February, aka Valentines Day. Today you decided to gather up all your courage to confess to Hangyul, your partner for the history project. Excitedly, you enter the school with a bouquet of red roses and box of Hangyul his favorite chocolate. You wrote a small note on the chocolate box with your initials on the end because you don’t want other people claiming your confession as theirs. You heard too many horror stories about that and you don’t want that to happen to you. Walking through the hallways of your school, you are looking for the locker with a certain number, aka locker 1207, which is Hangyul his locker. Yes, you planned to put your confession presents in his locker. You sighed in relief when you arrived at locker 1207. The hallway there is really empty and that gives you enough privacy to drop the presents in his locker. You opened your notes from your phone to search the locker combination from Hangyul so you could open it. The reason why you had his code was because you once had to drop something else in it. When you figured out what the code was to open his locker, you quickly tried to open it. When it opened, you picked up the presents and drop them in his locker, which you quickly closed afterwards. ‘y/n, y/n, y/n’ you suddenly hear which made you froze on spot. The voice was extremely familiar to the one you loved to hear but just not now. When you turned around, you saw it was indeed the person you love but right now didn’t want to see. You moved your head to see if your guess was right, and yes, you saw your crush; the Lee Hangyul standing in front of you. ‘Hi Hangyul’ you said to him casually, trying to hide that you felt like you were about to scream ‘How are you doing?’ ‘Why were you at my locker y/n?’ he asked you, resulting you to sort of curse in your mind. ‘I’d say, open it and see it yourself’ you responded trying to sound confident, which failed drastically. It made Hangyul smirk to hisself. ‘Sure’ he said while walking forward to his locker and starting to open it. When he opened he could immediately see your presents and lovely note. You bite your lip, praying he doesn’t humiliate you in the next few minutes. ‘Look Hangyul’ you said because you couldn’t stand the tension anymore ‘If you want to reject me, do it quickly. I’m sensitive’. You tried hard to not panic when Hangyul turned around. ‘I’m not going to reject you y/n’ he said laughing to himself ‘I actually was planning to do the same for you’. He pulled chocolate box out of his bag with a note where ‘for y/n’ was writtin in a messy handwriting. I’ll finish the confession for you’ he continues while he puts his hand between you and the wall your leaning on ‘Y/n would you be my valentine and later on date me?’. ‘I thought I made it obvious what my answer is love’ you said which made him grin. ‘Happy Valentines babe’

[hobidara]

just friends?; cho seungyoun, kim yohan

part 1;

pairing: cho seungyoun x fem!reader, kim yohan x fem!reader

genre: university!au, fluff

word count: 1.9k

next |

“come on, y/n. loosen up a bit! It’s the first week of university.” seungyoun, your bestfriend begs you as he literally thrashes around in your studio room.

“no.” you deadpan, “i didn’t go to any parties during college. what makes you think i’m going to change this year just because it’s university?”

“but it’s the first week! you have to go out and make friends.”

you roll your eyes, scrolling through the hotel del luna episode list, pondering whether you should just watch it all over again from the start or only watch your favorite episodes; flashbacks of chung myung and man weol or when chung myung finally shows himself after 1,300 years. 

“i don’t necessarily have to go to clubs just to make friends.”

“just for once, please. you have to try living a university life since you didn’t live one during college.” seungyoun continues, this guy doesn’t know how to give up.

you groan, becoming frustrated, “for fuck’s sake, seungyoun. i said no and out of all people, you know the best that if i say no, it means no. just go have fun with others.”

“fine,” he sighs, “it would be a lot more fun with you.”

you eye him suspiciously, “you always went clubbing without me during college anyways.”

“okay, cool. i’m really glad you are not coming with me. thank god.” he scoffs, low-key offended by how you just denied his way of expressing his feelings.

knowing that he’s just messing with you, you just wave him off to leave your room quickly. he huffs, storming out of your room only after ruffling your hair. 

you have a pretty okay-size group of friends, consisting of 14 people including you. other 2 boys and you are the only ones who don’t drink, smoke and go out to clubs or parties.

people think you are scared of those kinds of places or you just have really strict parents but none of that is true. you just don’t like the idea of them. you don’t understand why some people pay to just dance with some strangers.

but again, everyone’s different. just like how you don’t understand the way your friends have fun, they also don’t get how you think watching movies and just staying home is fun.

back in college, you used to share a flat with four girls and you are not really close with them. you would greet each other when you see at the halls or at the shared kitchen but that’s it. 

when you first arrived, you tried making conversations but the answers were always cut short, making you conclude that they are just not very sociable but when you saw the four of them getting along with each other really well, talking in their own language, you realized that maybe it’s just the language barrier.

plus, you’ve never heard of them speaking in english. 

anyways, whenever seungyoun visits your room which is like seven times a day, your flatmates were quick to guess that he’s your boyfriend. it’s funny because it’s not only your flatmates who had that idea, literally almost everyone back in college thought that. 

you wouldn’t exactly blame them. you guys were best friends, literally always together. this year, thankfully, you are not sharing a flat with anyone but seungyoun of course, takes that as his advantage to stay in your room almost 24/7. him living on the same floor as you doesn’t quite make the situation better. 

you decide to watch episode 14 of hotel del luna and you are not surprised when you find yourself wanting to munch on something as you watch the drama. tesco is just 2-3 minutes walk away. therefore, you quickly grab your winter jacket and leave the dorm building. 

you came for two things; the packet of 5 chocolate doughnuts, the melted chocolate pudding and pringles. yes, you have a sweet tooth. your friends keep warning you that if you continue eating this much sweets, you might end up getting diabetes but it’s not like you can help it.

with your poor eyesight, you search for the pack of 5 chocolate doughnuts on the shelves after finding the other two items. those are often out of stock or they just run out quickly.

when you suddenly see a guy grabbing a very similar looking pack of doughnuts from the bottom row, an accidental “wait, no!” slips out of your mouth.

his movements freeze aside from his head which turns to look at you, “sorry?”

“sorry.” you apologetically smile, bending down to look if there’s anymore left.

sighing when you find none, you stand straight back up just to see the guy still standing in the very same position from a minute ago.

you blink, “everything okay there?”

“yeah, um, were you searching for these?” he asks, slightly waving the very sweet looking pack of doughnuts in his hand.

“yes,” you nod. “it’s fine, you can have it.”

“i didn’t say i was going to give it to you though.”

embarrassment floods into your system that very moment. right, he never even hinted that he was going to give it to you.

seeing your reaction, the guy chuckles, “i’m just kidding. you can have it.”

“are you sure?” you ask, hoping he would say yes.

he nods eagerly, “i just wanted to give it a try but seeing how much you want them, they must be really good.”

“they are!” you reply, jumping slightly and he finds it cute.

you don’t know that, of course.

“i will give you two. i will show you a whole new world.” you grin cheekily, striding your way towards the cashier to quickly pay for the doughnuts which are now in your hand.

you don’t even remember how they end up in your hand but that’s not important.

“how do i give you these?” you ask, stepping out of tesco with the guy whom you still don’t know the name of. 

“where do you live?”

you look at him wearily. he’s cute, actually really cute. he can even be an actor or idol right away with his looks. also, you are pretty sure he’s korean.

no, you are not a koreaboo. you are just pretty good at guessing people and their ethnicities. 

despite him being really good-looking and cute at the same time, it’s 11 pm. it’s still kinda dangerous for you to be telling him where you live and all that. what if he suddenly takes out a pocket knife and threatens you or worst, kills you?

if this was a kdrama, and both of you were the main leads, you would be shipping hard already, because you know, a bad guy and a good girl makes a good cringe love story.

but this is reality. if he does that, you are dead. there’s nothing else after that, no love, no romance.

“where do you live?” you throw back the question at him. 

“do you know the student dorm right at the top of the hill?”

“i live there too!” you immediately respond. too much for being cautious of a stranger, y/n.

but if he actually lives there, it’s not bad. is it?

“okay, i’m yohan. first year.” he suddenly introduces, holding out his hand.

“after like 10 minutes of talking --” you quickly cut yourself off, “y/n. first year as well.”

“i doubt it has been 10 minutes of talking.”

“i’m sure it has been 10 minutes or even more than that.”

“so,” he pauses as the both of you are now surrounded with the dormitory buildings. “which block are you in?”

“A, and you must be A too?” you ask, seeing the way his plump lips turn into a shape of o the moment you replied.

“let’s go!” he happily hops towards block A, looking back to see if you are still following him.

“i’ve never seen you in college.” you say, watching him press the elevator button after entering block A.

“i did a-levels so i didn’t need college.”

you nod, understanding, “no wonder.”

“what major are you doing, by the way?” he asks. 

“computer science. i have no idea why i chose that as well.”

“i chose --” his answer is interrupted by the sound of the elevator doors sliding open. and there stands a very familiar person in it.

both of you chorus, “why are you here?”  

“did you not go to the club?”

“i turned back,” seungyoun answers, eyeing yohan before laying his eyes on you. “you? why did you leave your phone in your room?!”

“i did?” you gasp, putting your hands in your jacket’s pockets to realize that you really did. “i forgot. i went to tesco in a rush.”

“you got me all worried.” he groans, but the relief evident in his voice.

seungyoun grabs your wrist softly and pulls you into the elevator with yohan following behind, already thinking that seungyoun must be your boyfriend.

because, what kind of friend reacts that way?

“oh, seungyoun! this is yohan.” you gesture between the two of them.

“are you korean?” seungyoun asks carefully, to which yohan nods with a big grin.

“yes!” he replies in korean, “i haven’t met any koreans since i moved in here.”

“oh, me too.” seungyoun chuckles, both of them now conversing in korean. “but i know with a few korean people.”

“a few, my ass.” you interrupt and seungyoun quickly shuts you off, “stop being a koreaboo.”

okay, so you do understand korean pretty well due to the amount of korean dramas you watched since 10 years old. but that’s it. you just somehow started realizing that you do actually understand korean and started watching some shows without needing subtitles anymore.

but promise, you definitely are not a koreaboo. seungyoun always like to tease you that you are though because he likes the offended expression you always give him.

“you understand korean?” yohan asks, looking pretty shocked and impressed.

“like i said, she’s a koreab--” seungyoun answers before you can but you interrupt him by elbowing him in the guts. 

you see how yohan opens his mouth to say something but the ding from the elevator indicates that you have arrived at the third floor, which is where both you and seungyoun live.

“see you later, then.” you wave at yohan and step out of the elevator, seungyoun mirroring your actions.

yohan watches the way seungyoun circles his arm around your shoulders as the two of you walk away, as if it’s a habit or whatsoever.

even though he’s sixty percent sure you guys are a couple, he decides to not come to a conclusion quickly. with his good looks, it’s no surprise that girls are interested in him. 

but he only has guy friends. whenever a conversation comes up between him and a girl, it always turns out awkward. mostly, because, the girl is too shy and timid once she starts talking to someone this charming and good-looking.

yohan who’s a really humble person doesn’t think this. it’s always his friends who point out that he’s too good-looking for girls to not be shy when talking to him. 

y/n is a different story, all the way from tesco to the dorm, the conversation flowed smoothly. it almost felt as if they just didn’t see each other for the first time 15 minutes ago. 

and maybe, just maybe because of that, yohan wants to know you more.

[lonelypond]

Moonlight Becomes You: Apocalypse Midnight Dance Party, Ch. 21

Love Live, Love Live Sunshine!, NicoMaki, NozoEli, DiaYou, 1.4K, 21/?

Summary: Dia and You chat; Nozomi has visitors.

Happy Tails To You

You moved gracefully through the halls. You moved gracefully everywhere, Dia had to admit. And suddenly Dia was under scrutiny.

“Cat got your thoughts?” “That’s not the phrase.” You stuck out her tongue, “Maybe it is and history forgot.”

Dia glanced around the grubby hallway, “Where are we?”

"My office…” You knocked sharply on a door, then opened it, waving Dia inside and grabbing a duffle bag from a bench, “”Grab a seat. I’m going to change. There’s some caffeinated stuff in the mini fridge. Don’t eat anything glowing.” “Wha…” Dia’s question was interrupted by You’s chuckle. “Kidding. Sit tight, Pim Diffy.”

Dia had decided ignoring You’s provocations was the only way to survive. 

You’s desk was neat. Several framed photos, one of a small, brightly smiling You next to a man on the deck of a ship, another of You and Kanan and a third girl, frolicking on the beach. There were a few...artifacts is the best that Dia could think of to call them, items cast in or forged from various metals that looked like they’d been salvaged from a shipwreck. And one walrus plushy. Dia couldn’t resist and picked it up.

“Nope. You can’t have that.” Dia hadn’t noticed the door open. You looked fresh in cargo pants, a light blue polo shirt, a navy knit cap, combat boots unlaced. She sat on the bench and started to tie them. “My favorite place in Japan.”

“Where?” “An aquarium. I worked there in high school.”

“Didn’t you grow up here?” 

“Mostly. My dad got a transfer in high school and I thought it would be cool. Chance to work with a world class diving coach.” You pointed to the wall behind Dia, where several medals had their own frame. “That’s just my show off for co workers set. You should see the ones I keep to show off for dates.” Dia crossed her arms, “No thank you.”

“Sorry.” You actually blushed and tried to run her hand through her hair, but instead just pushed the knit cap over her eyes. Dia giggled. 

After a briefly awkward silence, Dia got back to business, “So, why are we here?” “You mentioned a vaccine,” You said, “and here we have access to a lab.” Dia pulled out a thin, clear card with several circuit like lit segments, frowning…”I may have some research stored on my device…” Dia placed the card flat on You’s desk and twisted her fingers in the air above it, “but…”

Holographic kanji appeared in the air, glowing red. Dia frowned and pinched the one that read “Dissertation.”

“It was a good challenge. Reverse engineer the vaccine from Eli’s blood. Mom had told me stories about how out of control Eli had gotten before…” Dia spun the chair, “What happens if we can’t…” You leaned on her desk, braced on one arm, the other rubbing her cheek, “In theory, we already have…”

“Or I wouldn’t be here…” “Yeah.” You didn’t sound at all convinced.

“But…” Dia prodded.

You sighed, leaning in to just barely brush Dia’s shoulder, Dia wasn’t even certain the You had noticed the contact, “Yoshiko keeps seeing Apocalypse.” Dia shoved off the desk, shooting back to the wall, You’s treasured awards falling to the ground after they bounced off Dia's head.

“Bzzzzt.” Dia grumped. “Hey, watch my stuff.” You pushed Dia back to the desk.

Dia spun the chair, “Define apocalypses.”

You closed her eyes. “Flames, fire, darkness.”

“Sounds like wildfire season.” You shook her head, “Worse. Yohane has a prophet.” “Yohane has a prophet.” Dia repeated, eyes wide.

“It’s complicated. She’s from the future, like you are. Riko.” “RIKO?” Dia bolted up, “Riko Sakurauchi?” “Maybe.” “My sister’s songwriter is that flying disaster’s....prophet?!?!?!? BZZZZT. I will not permit it”

“Interesting tic.” “What?” ‘Bzzzttttt.”

Dia was right in You’s face, towering, “That is not a verbal tic, that is how I, Dia Kurosawa, express displeasure.”

You discovered that as furious as Dia was, she really didn’t mind being this close to her. “Your eyes are pretty.” Dia continued to loom for speechless seconds, then turned around, “I’m still not entirely sure this is not some elaborate prank.”

“I wish.” You scuffed the floor.

“Where is this lab?” Dia grabbed her card off You’s desk, “I need to see what equipment’s available. And I’m going to need some of Eli’s blood.” “I’ll text Kanan.” You pulled out her phone.

“Make sure you keep that feather brain away from me.”

“Yes ma’am.” 

Y: How’s your crazy? Mine’s way too hot.

K: Crowded. And Nico might kill someone. Y: Is that someone Yoshiko? K: Bingo.

Y: Runs in the family  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“Lab, please.” Dia tapped You’s shoulder. “Just a minute.”

Y: We need an Eli blood sample. K: I’ll tell Nico.

Y: Let me know.

K: (b~_^)b

###

Yoshiko, no, Yohane, Nozomi corrected herself, had managed to climb on top of Nozomi’s small couch, wings swept out full and seeming cramped under Nozomi’s ceiling. Eli, all three tails wagging, was poised to leap at this new and fun feathered friend. Nozomi could see the future almost, sometimes, in her cards, but she didn’t need the seer’s gift to know what was going to happen next. Neither did Nico, who managed to shake herself out of the shock the appearance of Yohane’s wings had put her in.

“Eli, NO!” Nico ordered. 

Ready to play, Eli barked and leapt before Nozomi could grab her.  

Yoshiko waved her arms frantically, tilting herself off balance, screaming, “No doggie, good doggie, down doggie. HELP!” And then Eli crashed into Yoshiko, Yoshiko crashed into Kanan who had accurately predicted the disaster’s trajectory, and shoved up against the wall into Nozomi’s kitchen was an angel, Kanan, puppy pile, Eli excitedly bouncing on everyone.

Maki watched Nico. Anger and amused exasperation and concern and so many emotions flashed across her face. Settling on determined, she marched over to the pile, reached in, arms around Eli’s chest, yanked back, and let Eli lick her face happily.

“Nico is glad you’re in a good mood, Eli, but calm down.”

Eli woofed, tails wagging and bounded back to Nozomi, who ruffled the fur between her ears fondly.

“I made coffee.” Hanamaru stood in the doorway of the kitchen with a tray in hand, then glanced at where Yoshiko was morosely staring at a new hole in her jeans that Eli had torn, “Oh, that was the noise. Yoshiko, don’t wreck Nozomi’s furniture.” “It wasn’t me, it was that…” Wings fluttering, Yoshiko whined and pointed to Eli.

“Hey, you, pigeon of darkness.” Nico snapped. “Eli can’t help herself.”

“No, I don’t think she can.” Nozomi agreed.

“But she’s never had three tails before.”

Nozomi knelt next to Eli, Eli bopping Nozomi’s nose with her snout, “The face is different, dontcha think?”

Nico moved so she could get a better look, “Yeah, maybe, narrower. Nico’s not sure.” “It’s more like a fox.” Maki offered.

“Fox…” Nozomi’s eyes went wide, “Kitsune. They have….” “Three tails.” Kanan said.

“Or more.” Nozomi had a casual arm around Eli, who leaned into her.

“Oh, Eli, what are you doing?” Nico sighed.

“But she’s calmer, Nico. Isn’t that good?” Maki’s voice was quiet.

“Yeah, she was very aggressive when she changed at the studio.”

“She likes me.” Nozomi hugged Eli, who kept wagging.

“She likes Nico too.”

“She doesn’t like me.” Maki stepped through the crowded room, kneeling down to pet Eli, “but she’s friendly enough now.”

Yohane rose, hands hovering over Eli, “Yohane senses a divine touch, reaching from the past, to save us, a silent strength of the ancestors.”

“Sure, pigeon.” Nico snapped, then shook her head. “Nico’s never been on a set this weird and Nico’s done sci fi porn.”

“WHAT!” A startled Maki got Eli barking again. Nozomi went back to petting, eyes roving over Eli as if to memorize every detail.

“Kidding,” Nico winked, “It was an animated parody of sci fi porn and still not as weird as this.”

Maki, arms crossed across her torso, slunk back to the corner by the stairs.

Kanan’s phone went off. She typed a few messages. “It’s You. We need a blood sample from Eli.” “Why?” Nico asked sharply.

“Can’t say.” “Can’t say?” Nico had a new target. Maki wondered when they could get some time alone together. “You better say.”

Eli with a soft bark broke away from Nozomi and walked to Kanan, bumping against Kanan’s leg until she was acknowledged. 

“Do you want to go see You, Eli?” Kanan asked.

Eli wagged her tails. “I’m going too.” Nico announced. “Of course you are.” Maki muttered.

“No one else move.” Nico turned, grabbed Maki’s arm and started pulling her downstairs.

“Coffee?” Hanamaru asked.

Nozomi snorted. Eli yawned.

A/N: Hello.

[candyshua]

Linger {Lee Hangyul x Kim Yohan x Reader} Chapter 2

Navigating high school was expected to be difficult, but it was even more challenging without Mom there to guide you…

After the death of your mother, you move into your aunt’s tiny apartment amid the streets of Seoul. With your father working hard in the military, there was no way he could take care of you. Never in your seventeen years of living would you have expected to meet someone quite like the two boys you met. Their names were Kim Yohan and Lee Hangyul, and those names would soon become ingrained in your brain forever.

All you had wanted to do was survive…You wanted to get through the last year of high school without much trouble.

Yet, that was a faraway fantasy. No matter how much you wanted your past to go away, it would follow you wherever you went.

Previous

 Next

Warnings: Death, murder, violence, traumatic events, PTSD, bullying.

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 2627

Friendship. In its entirety, it was something you craved. You desired to have a platonic bond with someone, but ever since the death of your mother, you were an outcast, a pariah. Yet, at Cheongdam High School, the students didn’t know that. You wanted to keep it that way.

One day, you were having lunch with your friend Song Hyeongjun. Hyeongjun was a funny boy, he was younger than you and had an odd yet charming aura to him. Sometimes, Hangyul and Yohan would join you two for lunch, but they usually took their lunchtime to go to Yohan’s father’s taekwondo studio. The two of them were fantastic fighters, according to Hyeongjun. 

Despite never having seen him fight, you didn’t doubt one bit that Kim Yohan was exceptional at it. You didn’t doubt Kim Yohan at all, in fact, you believed in him. You trusted him. During those past three months of getting to know him, he had snuck his way into your heart. Yet, it was oddly comforting, seeing as you didn’t want him to leave your heart. 

“I’m done, Hyeongjun. I’m gonna go outside for a bit.” You explained while cleaning up your tray filled with half-finished food. You picked up your backpack and went.

You arrived outside and decided to settle on a bench in front of the school. The school itself was huge and was protected by a huge gate. Beyond the gate was the beautiful setting of Seoul, the city you had grown to love just as if it were your home.

The blue sky was bright and inviting, along with the few wispy clouds scattered across the landscape. You felt truly content. 

You took out your backpack and rummaged through it, looking for your phone, wanting to take a picture of this beautiful day. 

Just as you were about to take the wonderful photo, a rather rude group of girls came by and ruined your entire mood.

The leader of the crew, Juda, wasn’t exactly your favorite person. She was known for being in love with Lee Hangyul, which didn’t affect you much. She would always whisper bad things about you, which you didn’t pay much attention to, but you still acknowledged the fact that she was rude to you. 

Juda leaned down and took your phone from your hand, her dyed chestnut brown hair aggressively brushing your face while doing so. You immediately attempted to get it back, but your wrist was grabbed by one of Juda’s friends. You sighed exasperatedly.

“Can I have my phone back, please? While I’m asking nicely?” You threatened, your voice on the brink of breaking from pure frustration.

Nobody seemed to notice Kim Yohan and Lee Hangyul walking towards the scene, ready to help out. Yet, fortunately for them, they didn’t have to do much. The moment Juda tried to punch you, you blocked it immediately. When one of her friends tried to kick you from behind, you jumped up and dodged it just in time. Soon, the group of four girls were all ready to attack, swinging aimlessly and unsuccessfully. Within two minutes, the four girls had their butts on the ground, groaning in defeat. You grabbed your phone, which was on the ground near Juda, luckily unscathed. 

“You should’ve just given me my phone back.” You calmly retorted, a smirk filled with victory etched onto your face. 

Yet, the smirk was completely washed off of your face the moment you turned around. There stood Kim Yohan and Lee Hangyul, and during that moment, you wanted nothing else but to disappear. Expecting them to cower in fear, it was much to your surprise when they started clapping.

“That was...impressive.” Yohan murmured as he wore a sly grin. You then visibly untensed, but you still couldn’t hide your shock.

“Relax, Y/N, we’re not gonna report you or anything.” Hangyul giggled, which made you breathe a sigh of relief.

“Oh.” You managed to muster.

“Oh?” Yohan teased, quirking an eyebrow. Yohan was handsome alright; his big brown eyes, sleek black hair, and pink plump lips were tangible evidence.

“I should go…” You suggested, but you were stopped by Yohan’s grip on your wrist. You didn’t miss the way your heartbeat quickened, and you certainly didn’t miss the spark you felt when he touched you. You turned around, your skin on fire from his touch. You never wanted him to let go.

“Where did you learn to fight like that? I know those girls, and they aren’t bad fighters.” Yohan questioned, his hand still around your wrist. You were so focused on him that you missed Hangyul looking at you with longing in his eyes. He had so desperately wanted to break you two apart, but he knew you had already fallen for Kim Yohan, the best student in the school and his best friend. But he couldn’t do that to him or to you.

“My dad serves in the military, and he made me start taking Taekwondo when I was five. I just stopped recently, since I can’t afford it.” You muttered.

“Well, would you like to start again? Free of charge!”

The look you gave Yohan was incredulous. Your eyebrows were basically sky high, your mouth was basically underground from how far it dropped, and your eyes popped out of your head. It took you a moment to compose yourself.

“Huh?”

“I help volunteer at a Taekwondo studio with Hangyul. We teach kids and practice by ourselves as well. Would you like to join us?” 

You pondered the idea. For a moment, you almost said no, since you felt like you were intruding. However, you didn’t have the stomach nor the heart to turn down Kim Yohan, so you ended up smiling and nodding.

“I’d love to.”

-

And so it began. Your bond with the two boys was strengthened little by little. Each session you taught brought the three of you closer together. 

On one Friday evening, Hangyul noticed your mother’s necklace around your neck during practice. “Why do you wear that necklace while fighting? It could hurt you.” Hangyul questioned, pointing to the object around your neck. You fidgeted with it for a bit.

“It was my mother’s.” 

Hangyul gave you an unreadable look with a mysterious glint in his eyes. You cowered a bit, too ashamed to make eye contact.

You hated yourself whenever you thought of your mother. If only you could go back and save her…

Hangyul noticed your tearful eyes before you did.

“Hey, it’s okay. You don’t need to get into it.” He reassured. You nodded and gave him a weak smile.

“Thank you, Hangyul. I really mean it.”

-

Hangyul laid awake in bed later that night, tossing and turning with you fresh in his mind. He couldn’t rid you of his mind no matter how hard he tried. Hangyul knew you didn’t like him, but it still hurt nonetheless. Unrequited love wasn’t exactly fun.

Deciding that it would be a sleepless night, Hangyul got out of bed and started to go downstairs to get a glass of water. When he heard his parents talking in a grave tone, however, he suddenly stopped. He quietly stood at the top of the stairs and listened to his parents, who were in the kitchen.

“How do we tell him, Sookyung?” Hangyul’s father asked, strain apparent in his voice.

“I don’t know, honey. He keeps looking for her, and I don’t think he’ll ever stop until he meets her or gets answers.”

Hangyul gulped. What was so wrong with meeting his biological mother? What were his parents hiding?

The moment he heard his parents’ footsteps, he quietly tip-toed back to his room and feigned sleep in his bed. 

His mind went back to you, and his heart began to hurt.

-

Woosh! The sound of Yohan’s fist gliding past your face, just barely missing, was heard among the quiet studio. 

The two of you continued to spar, punches and kicks being expertly thrown, until you had Yohan pinned beneath your leg. After he started hitting your leg, letting you know that you won, you shot up and screamed a shrill of joy.

“Finally! I beat you!” You laughed, sticking your tongue out at him afterward. He merely crossed his arms and glared at you playfully. 

“I’m hungry,” Yohan said in an attempt to change the subject.

“Yeah, I guess losing can make you hungry.” You taunted, which led to Yohan chasing you aimlessly around the studio. He finally caught up to you, grabbing your wrist and smirking triumphantly.

The two of you stared at each other for just a bit. His beautiful brown eyes stared into yours, and you never wanted to look away.

He was beautiful.

On the other hand, Yohan’s heart was beating unnaturally fast. Why was it doing that?

You tried to laugh the oddly intimate moment off, smoothly slipping yourself from his grasp around your wrist.

“Let’s go get food!” You cheered. Yohan nodded and smiled. After you ran off to go and get changed, Yohan stared at himself in the taekwondo studio’s mirror.

What was wrong with him? Why were his cheeks flushed?

He couldn’t get your warm, adorable smile out of his head. He also couldn’t ignore the tingling feeling you gave him, or the sparks he felt whenever he touched you.

And then, it hit him like a bullet train.

He was falling for you.

-

The two of you went to a small, local restaurant right by the taekwondo studio. The night was filled with laughter and smiles, the two of you just getting lost in each other’s eyes. 

After a bit of small talk, the two of you got to know each other a bit better. For example, you learned about his favorite color (which was blue), his reason for starting taekwondo (he wanted to learn how to protect his family), and his life at home. 

Soon, it turned into him venting to you. His parents, who were constantly fighting, drove him absolutely insane. You listened attentively and hoped you could give him some advice. You mindlessly chewed on your food as he went on about the stress he was feeling.

“I just don’t feel like I’m doing this whole ‘life’ thing right.” He confessed, avoiding eye-contact with you, as if he were ashamed.

You pondered his thought for a moment.

“There is no right way to live life,” You began, “and there is no wrong way. That’s the thing about living, you have days where things feel right and days where things feel wrong. There isn’t a rulebook to this, nor is there a proper way to be human. You just have to be you, and not some ‘picture-perfect’ guy. Only after that will you start feeling better.”

Yohan stared at you innocently. You couldn’t help but internally smile at his adorable side. 

“Wow, you’re really good at giving advice. And, you’re right.” He murmured. You chuckled slightly, your heart swelling with warmth. 

After your lovely night together, you finally went home to your apartment. By then, it was December. It had been a few months since you got your father’s last letter, but you were still shocked to see it on the coffee table nonetheless.

You sighed and mentally prepared yourself. You toyed with the necklace around your neck; it was a nervous habit you had picked up ever since you got it. 

You opened up the letter and let out a sigh of relief once you saw how short it was. 

But then, your heart stopped. A photograph fell out of the envelope. The photo encased a picture of your mother, your father, and you.

You were happy. And, more importantly, you were together. 

Without even realizing it, tears started to cascade down your face. Your heart began to hurt, more than it ever did before. You clutched your chest, and suddenly you realized you were crying.

You missed your mother more than anything else; if you could just go back to that night…

Everything would be different, if only you were a bit quicker. 

Your mind went back to the night your mother died. It was a tranquil evening, and you big your mother good night before going upstairs to your room. 

Little did you know that those would be the last words your mother would ever hear from you.

You quickly texted your father a good night message and then fell asleep without any trouble. Before you could’ve even realized it, you were in a nice, peaceful sleep.

You awoke to the sound of a plate breaking. You shot up from your bed, your chest heaving and your breaths heavy and uneven. Your eyes darted around your room, which was a quaint and comfy place. 

Soon, you heard a noise you would never forget--the sound of your mother screaming for help. 

You wanted to go and run to her, but you knew that you could hurt yourself. You then heard footsteps creak against the wooden floors of your kitchen--the steps much too heavy to be your mother’s.

There was an intruder.

You then got a pair of scissors from a container on your desk and quietly tip-toed downstairs. Your fear was about to swallow you whole, until you remembered who you were trying to save.

Alas, you were too late. Your mother laid on the floor in a pool of her own deep red blood. It was a sight that would be permanently engraved in your brain, your mother’s body clinging onto what little life there was left for her.

Anger devoured you. The man, who looked shocked to see another human being, quickly reacted. Yet, your years of training in taekwondo had managed to save your life. You kicked him in the groin and he hunched over, dropping the bloody knife he held. You threw the scissors aside; you had found a better weapon.

You grabbed his knife and plunged it into his stomach. You cried out at the disturbing noise.

He fell to the ground, he had lost consciousness very quickly. You rushed over to your counter and grabbed the phone, dialing the emergency service number as quickly as humanly possible.

After hanging up the phone, you stared at your mother with traumatized eyes. Soon, the reality of the situation started to sink in with a merciless twinge.

You had killed a man, and your mother was going to die. 

You rushed over to where your mother laid, tears falling down your eyes like an ocean tide. 

“Mom, I’m so sorry...I should’ve been here quicker.” You sobbed, holding her hands. Yet, she didn’t have the strength to respond. Her breaths soon thinned out and halted.

Your mother was dead.

-

You finally read your father’s letter.

Y/N,

I thought you should have this photo. I’m sorry it has been so long, I’ve been so busy with the army. I hope you can smile at this picture just like I did.

-Your father.

You remembered the times when you would talk to your father daily on the phone. Now, the two of you would send each other a letter every so often. It seemed as if your life ended that night, too.

Or, you thought it did. But, after many months of being without your mother, you had realized something:

The living must live.

So, you smiled at the photo of the three of you, fulfilling your father’s wish. 

Your mind then roamed back to the cute boy you had so desperately fallen for. You giggled slightly at the thought of your mother when she figured out you had a crush. She would have loved it!

Although your heart felt a bit empty, you smiled. I have to live on, you thought, I have to.

[indigomovn]

my top 10 picks on produce x 101

(a post that no one asked for)

so the end of produce x 101 is near and i finally watched the episode 11 so i decided to make my top 10 since 11th place goes to the most acculumated votes contestant. this list has definitely changed throughout the course of the show so here is the final change to my list.

kim yohan

ok i think everyone saw this coming but listen, i fell in love with this dork the minute he used his hidden roller skates in the first episode. he continues to surprise me with his rapping skills despite him being a vocal. also his relationship with his sisters makes him so relatable and adorable. he also one of those guys with dual personalities - fierce onstage, cute offstage. you want a vocal and a rapper? this boy is both.

han seungwoo

he’s now my number one pick - mainly because of his stellar vocals (partly because my original no.1 is eliminated) but this guy owns the stage. he was born to perform and he’s just so charismatic. his vocals are out of this world and his dance is clean and precise. also i can’t believe i slept on victon like damn what was i doing with my life then?

cho seungyeon

i stanned seungyeon since 2014 so when he decided to participate in this hellhole show i was shocked. he’s basically a whole package - he can sing, dance, rap, produce music, arrange other versions of a song, write lyrics, super hilarious i mean what can’t he do? also listen to his song “different”.

gu jungmo

out of all the starship trainees, he’s my favorite. yes he made a risky move in choosing the X position but he did that. he has a beautiful voice and i believe he will go far even if he doesn’t make it (well that’s up to mnet lol). he is so adorable i wanna keep him in my pocket.

lee eunsang

i have a soft spot for all the brand new music trainees (from both season 2 and this season) so when sihoon, junghwan and seongjun were eliminated, my heart dropped. eunsang can do it all - sing, dance and rap like what can’t he do? (play the whisper game). he is very ambitious and willing to try everything.

lee jinhyuk

not too sure if he’s considered a triple threat but i like this guy whether he is or isn’t great at all three positions. he dominates the stage with his charisma and rap skills. his dance techniques are through the roof like wow its like he’s swimming gracefully. (should i just stan up10tion already?)

(do you see the trend here? no? yes? next..)

son dongpyo

omg he’s so cute i think i’m gonna die cause cuteness overload!! he’s our very first center on the show so it’s pretty obvious that he has a guaranteed spot in the group but he’s a great vocal and an awesome dancer. he’s constantly trying to show us that he can be manly but he always comes out looking like a teddy bear trying to act tough. i wanna keep him in my pocket. (that’s my way of saying omg adorable)

kim wooseok

my personal nickname for him is prince charming. he has that stage presence. he oozes charisma and he is very charming. he has stellar vocals and he is center material. basically he has that it factor i’ve been looking for in the show. i wasn’t too sure about him but that love shot performance changed my mind about him.

lee hangyul

i knew this guy from the unit so he was a familiar face. this guy can dance like his performance is always clean and they streamline well with the music like as if he was one with the music. he can also sing and rap in a cool manner like wow he can do all three. btw he’s only a 99 liner so uh he’s a lot younger than he seems.

song yuvin

i have heard of myteen (cause mixnine) but i never got around to listen to their music but i have heard of yuvin due to superstar k. he’s vocals are out of this galaxy i mean he’s a beautiful vocal. honestly i wonder how u got it would turn out if he was the main vocal. he truly is a sexy vocal he just hasn’t unlocked his potential at doing so which i hope he does soon. also i love his relationship with kukheon, like their relationship is truly golden.

-

so basically the trend is that i go for the triple threats. i like those who can do all three due to their flexibility with group positions. with the exception of a few, triple threats are really those that caught my eyes since versatility is one of the many things i like about an idol. i wish all the 20 contestants good luck and that the future awaits them regardless of the results (depending on who mnet chooses lol).

[dahlpengee]

Position Challenge [Episodes 6 and 7]

So I decided to combine the two episodes.

I don’t understand why certain people chose the X battle knowing that they didn’t have the skills to back it up. I can’t.

Twit (Midam, Seokhwa, Eunsang, Hyeop, Junghwan): They were my absolute favorite team. Period. The arrangement of the song was perfect, their stage presence was off the charts, the harmonies were on point, and everyone sounded great individually. Hyeop is a GREAT vocalist. Also I was pleasantly surprised how pretty Midam’s voice is. Please let them survive.

Attention (Mahiro, Jungmo, Gichan, Sunghyun, Seongjun, Hyunbin, Tony): They did a nice job and the ending was pretty. I’m pissed that Mahiro, the center, came in last place though. Like what type of shit?

Yes Or No (Dohyun, Seungyoun, Jaehoon, Seongyeon): I was happy that Dohyun became the center. I like Seungyoun more but in that moment Dohyun showcased his skills better. I was also super happy that they both helped Jaehoon and Seongyeon who had no prior experience rapping. Team Spirit for the win!

Their stage had so much energy and I was so proud of Jaehoon and Seongyeon. I was sad that Seungyoun lost but Dohyun is talented.

Finesse (Sihun, Wonjin, Hyungjun, Hangyul, Changuk, Minhee, Dongyoon): The fight between Sihoon and Wonjin was awkward. Sihoon seemed pretty unconcerned with Wonjin’s feelings, but I was glad that they actually talked it out in the end and collaborated well. Also I can’t believe that they didn’t showcase Hangyul during rehearsals). I’m glad that was corrected in the final performance. You could definitely tell that he was center and there were a lot of great moments for him.

Overall they were entertaining! Sihun’s killing part was done well. He has a lot of charisma. Hyunjun remains adorable. And Minhee’s vocals aren’t bad.

AND HE CAME IN FIRST. LET’S GO, HANGYUL.

Me After You (Yohan, Hyeonbin, Junho, ZiYue, Seungwoo): Yohan should always sing in his lower register because he sounds good! I was proud of Hyeonbin, Junho, and ZiYue too! And Seungwoo was great as usual.

ZiYue came in third, yay! Yohan coming in 5th would have been shocking if I hadn’t seen the spoilers. I’m still surprised though since he had the opening and the killing part. Rumor is that he was vote checked by the live voters (He’s already popular so they refused to vote for him. If so, that shit pisses me off (rumor is the live voters vote checked Samuel and Daniel during Get Ugly).

Swalla (Hyeonsu, Yunsol, Taeseung, Minseo, Junseong, Jyunhao): They were entertaining and they did well considering that they had a lot of vocalists on the team! I’m glad that Junseong came in third. I was disappointed that he didn’t end up on a vocal team. I want him to get more attention.

RISE HYEONSU! And I’m glad that Yunsol came in second! They were both amazing and worked hard on the choreo.

Barcode (Yuri, Baekjin, Hyuk, Woojin): Yikes. Their team dynamic was awful. I understand that Hyuk is worried because she’s rank 57. But all sulking does is ruin the team. The team had so much tension it was bad.

And the performance. Oh no. It was so low energy (though Hyuk was trying to save it) and people forgot their lyrics. The ranking went the way it should have. Kinda. Yuri should have been in third. He forgot less lyrics than Woojin did.

Day By Day (Yuvin, Suhwan, Dohyun, Taeeun, Junho): It was nice but lacked a wow factor. Yuvin sounded beautiful though.

Turtle Ship (Jinhyuk, Eugene, Peak, Huijun, Wonjun, Jaewon): Oh Lord. Jinhyuk had to steer this Disaster Ass Boat by himself. I get struggling to write raps if you haven’t before, but I can’t believe that no one tried to help with choreo. He needed to yell so they could get their shit together.

And they did. They had a lot of energy and though you could tell that rapping wasn’t their forte, they did nicely! Jinhyuk was awesome, but Wonjun was good too!

Believer (Dongpyo, Sunho, Yunseong, Donghyun, Kookheon, Dongbin): They slayed! SLAYED.

I really want Kookheon to stay. He has great expressions and his concept worked. Dongpyo’s part was great and he didn’t look out of place doing it. Dongbin sounded nice. Everyone had energy and brought their A game. They betta win.

To My Youth (Minkyu, Wooseok, Jinwoo, Sejin, Byungchan): Again it was nice, but it lacked a wow factor.

Results:

For the most part I was satisfied with the winners! Hyeonsu winning for the Dance Position made me so happy. Hyuk deserved that win for the Rap Position. However, though I like Wooseok, I feel as thought there were better vocalists than him.

But I cheered so much when Jinhyuk won for X Position. 300,000 VOTES. HE IS DEFINITELY MAKING IT PAST THE NEXT ELIMINATION. THANK GOD.

Observations:

I honestly think that there needs to be a challenge where they have to perform in front of the general public and fans aren’t admitted. Otherwise the winners of these challenges will continue to be obvious. Popularity definitely won over talent in some of these performances and it’s so damn annoying.

My Current Top 11: Yohan, Jinhyuk, Hangyul, Yuvin, Hyeop, Kookheon, Dongpyo, Hyungjun, Midam, Ziyue, Seungyoun

[tonidshipper]

The Sky In My Heart Clears - A YoshiMaru Fanfiction

Read on Ao3: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Chapter 2: That’s one hell of an opportunity indeed 

Chapter Summary:  In which Yoshiko is just plain confused with how her day is going.

Yoshiko have Cinematography 1 and Film Theories 1 for today, both of which are morning classes so it is convenient that she is scheduled for an afternoon interview.

Cinematography is interesting, as usual. They’re finally testing the different cameras to use for filmmaking. The Arriflex’ video quality was superb but, she is much more comfortable with the low-costs filmmaking using a DSLR. Thanks to Mari’s gift, her DSLR is up to date with the new ones. She was still using a camcorder back then for her ‘fallen angel livestream for the little demons’ and it was also the same one they used to film their first few Aqours PV and other content. Compared to the DSLR, that camcorder was like a potato, as the internet would say.

Since Yoshiko got the camera, she’s been studying the functions and using it to practice which is why she’s thankful that when they start making their short film projects, they’re not required to use the Arriflex and they can use their rigs. For this term, at least. They will have to use it at some point for Cinematography 2 though.

After that fun class comes Yoshiko’s least favorite course, Film Theories 1. Mis-en-scene is the current topic, which Yoshiko defines as ‘everything you see on the set and in the scene, basically ’. Of course, it is a lot more broader than that, with the different elements and all, but she is just very distracted by the fact that she will be going to an interview after class.

As soon as their professor dismisses them, Yoshiko bolts out of her seat and out of the classroom.

She barely makes it on time. She enters the building, showing her ID to the security guard. She receives a pass which she pins to her ID before heading towards the reception desk.

“Hi, how can I help you?” The brunette receptionist inquires.

“Hello, I’m here for an interview with-” Crap, she forgot the name of the person she was supposed to look for. “Sorry, let me just get my phone,” she says.

The receptionist practically beams at her before which, Yoshiko doesn’t really know how to react to. The older woman watches her for a few seconds. “Tsushima Yoshiko-san, right?” She asks. Dumbfounded, Yoshiko nods. “It’s nice to meet you. My younger sister is a fan of Aqours. As am I, as an extension.”

Oh, right. “A-Ah, yes. Thank you for your support.” She smiles then bows her head, not sure how to react once again. She really needs to calm down, she scolds herself mentally for it. Yoshiko finally manages to fish her phone out and read the text from last night. “Sorry, I’m looking for Tanaka Keiko-san.”

The woman nods in acknowledgement. “For a moment please, Tsushima-san.”

Yoshiko still can’t believe that people recognize her for being a part of Aqours up to this day. In fact, the friends she met in university approached her because they recognized her. While it did have its perks, Yoshiko feels like some people are reluctant to approach her because of it.

A woman comes up to the reception desk while Yoshiko is lost in thought. The receptionist knows her, it seems.

“Ah, you’re here to see Tanaka-san?”

“Yup! She’s here, right?”

“Yes but Tsushima-san here is being scouted as a talent, I believe and she’s asked by Tanaka-san to come here for an interview.”

“A talen-?” Yoshiko mumbles to herself in confusion and finally glances at the person the receptionist is talking to. The woman is shorter than her by 2 inches, probably. Her hair is jet black hair which are tied into high pigtails with red ribbons on both sides. The woman’s ruby eyes are doing the same thing - looking at her curiously.

Then, the woman grins. And Yoshiko swears she has never been more stunned in her life. It’s almost impossible for Yoshiko not to recognize who this person is. After all, Chika would gush about them back in high school non-stop during the time they were in the process of establishing Aqours. Also, Ruby and Hanamaru managed to make her watch a lot of their music videos and TV guestings. Because of that, somehow, Yoshiko knows what the woman will say next.

“Nico-Nico-Nii!”

“Y-Y-Yazawa N-Nico-san!”

Nico strikes her signature pose while Yoshiko bows.

“Call me Nico! You’ll be working with Nico, after all. You’re Tsushima Yoshiko of Aqours, right?” Nico tilts her head. Still, Yoshiko hasn’t recovered from the shock that is meeting one of Aqours’ inspiration that she can only nod. “Ah, this is amazing! Hanayo’s going to flip when she hears that Nico’s going to work with a member of Aqours!”

A lot of things are going on in Yoshiko’s mind. First is, what the hell? Second is the Yazawa Nico of μ's somehow knows her and the rest of Aqours. Third, did the idol just say that she’ll be working with her?

“N-Nice to meet y-you, Nico-senpai,” is what Yoshiko manages to reply because honestly, what do you even reply at a time like this?

Nico grins. “Likewise! You can drop the senpai too, really. But that’s up to you. And, since we’re both heading towards Kei-chan’s office, let’s go together!” The idol waves at the receptionist and heads toward the elevators.

The younger girl continues to stands there in shock which Nico has noticed. The idol looks back at her. “Tsushima-san?”

“E-eh!” Flustered, Yoshiko nearly jumps at the sound of the idol calling her. “P-Please, just call me Yoha-” No, not that, she scolds herself. “Yoshiko.” She bows down to the woman behind the reception desk who seems pretty entertained by their interaction before following Nico.

When Yoshiko was still in high school, she could remember their no. 1 resident idol expert, Dia, saying that Nico was the only one from μ's who actually continued being an idol. Yoshiko remembered the older Kurosawa saying that even if μ's had already made a name for themselves, Nico still worked hard and started in a small agency. But she made it big in the end. Which is why Yoshiko still can’t comprehend how she’s now standing next to one of the members of μ's in an elevator.

“Nico was with Kei-chan when she was sorting through the submissions from applicants.” The older woman starts, breaking the silence. “When she mentioned your name, Nico had to look at your profile because Nico had to make sure that she heard that correctly since I’m a fan of Aqours. I then ended up showing a bunch of videos from Aqours. Nico’s always been really impressed with your voice. When Kei-chan heard you, she was too.”

Yoshiko takes note of the fact that Nico refers to herself in third person which, she finds odd. Then again, Yoshiko referred to herself as 'the fallen angel, Yohane' for so many years that she really shouldn’t judge. Also, did her senior just say that she’s a fan of Aqours? “T-Thank you very much,” is all Yoshiko musters to reply.

Nico tilts her head then laughs. “I know Nico’s presence is stunning but you don’t have to be so reserved!” The older woman is grinning at her. “You need to get used to being with the No.1 idol in the universe if you’ll be working with me on this project after all.”

Okay, she’s… a lot of things, Yoshiko thinks, for the lack of a better word. Overwhelming might be the closest word to what she’s feeling but not exactly. “Sorry, I just didn’t expect to meet you and you’re even saying you’re a fan of our school idol group,” Yoshiko explains, slightly bowing her head as a sign of her apology as well. “Aqours was actually established because our leader was inspired by μ's. She eventually managed to turn us into fans as well. We look up to μ's so much so it’s quite a surprise to hear that from you.”

The elevator stops and Yoshiko sees that they are on the fifth floor. Nico gestures for her to go, so she does and the idol gets off as well then begins walking down the hall. “Takami Chika-san did mention in a few magazine interviews, yeah.” She even knew Chika? At first Yoshiko was thinking maybe Nico was just being humble but, holy shit, is she serious? “Nico likes to be updated with the winners of Love Live. It’s nice to see new faces in the industry, y’know?” The idol continues walking until they reach a door at the end of the hall.

Yoshiko watches as Nico raises a hand to knock on the door three times before turning the knob and swinging the door violently. She stands there in shock as Nico barges in. “Your favorite idol is here!” Nico announces. By the doorway, Yoshiko sees paper, crumpled into a ball, thrown at Nico’s forehead. “Hey…” the idol’s voice lowers and she scowls at who Yoshiko assumes is Tanaka Keiko. “You can’t treat me like that! Especially when I was kind enough to bring you the company's latest recruit!"

The fallen angel feels her face loosen into a smirk. So the idol’s demeanor totally changes when she’s talking to people she’s close to, maybe?

“It was just coincidence that you happen to arrive at the same time, Yazawa.” A stern, modulated voice comes from the inside. “Tsushima-san, please come inside.”

At the sound of her name, Yoshiko walks to the door, peeking inside the room first. She’s met by two keen, blue eyes that followed her as she makes her way inside. They’re not exactly harsh. Rather, the eyes reflected warmth and kindness. Somehow, she feels calmer than before. Yoshiko bows down. “I’m Tsushima Yoshiko. It is a pleasure to meet you,” she greets.

“The pleasure is mine, Tsushima-san.” The woman, dressed in a black blazer over a white shirt tilts her head and smiles. She then stands up from her seat. “My name is Tanaka Keiko. I’m one of the artist managers here in Grand Sky Entertainment.” The auburn-haired woman says. Yoshiko nods in acknowledgement but wonders why she’s meeting an artist manager . Shouldn’t she be meeting the Human Resources for hiring? From her peripheral vision, she sees Nico lounging on a leather couch inside the room and looking at her phone. “Thank you for coming today. Please have a seat.” Keiko gestures the seat in front of her table.

The college student obeys. “I’ve read your profile,” the manager starts. “I do admit that I am quite interested because you came from a school idol group much like Yazawa. Though I’ll be frank, I almost didn’t consider sending you an invite.” Again, her blue eyes looks at Yoshiko, as if seeing how she reacts. When she sees that Yoshiko still looks at her with a determined face, she smiles then continues. “The reason for that is because you’re still a student. You see, we here at Grand Sky rarely accept students because of schedules and conflicts.

However, Yazawa over there insisted because she was very sure that you’d do well so the whole student issue will not apply,” She gestures Nico who is now playing what seems to be a rhythm game on her phone. She has her tongue stuck out of her mouth as she played the game. Yoshiko is getting more confused by the second. What exactly is going on? “Which is why I’d like to know if you’re willing to commit to us, if ever we do accept you in the agency. We don’t just take in people, Tsushima-san. We develop them.”

“Basically,” the idol intervenes, making Yoshiko look at her direction. “What she’s trying to say is that she’s willing to take you in as a talent of Grand Sky and not just someone they call occasionally for a job,” Nico mumbles from the couch. Keiko shoots her a look which she doesn’t even see because she’s too busy playing- “Ah, I was scouting for a UR! What’s with these SRs? Stupid game...” -School Idol Festival, it seems.

Keiko clears her throat, Yoshiko’s attention immediately diverted back to her. “Before I was rudely interrupted by-”

“The number one idol in the universe.”

“I was going to say number one annoyance in my ass,” Yoshiko can’t help but let out a subtle chuckle at that. If the idol did notice, she decided not to comment about it. “But yes, Yazawa is correct. We’re willing to take you in as a talent. Of course, that means you’ll go through formal trainings if you’re on board.”

Yoshiko looks at them, bewildered at what is currently happening. “U-Uhm, you must be mistaken, I’m applying as the part-time assis-”

“And we’re offering that you be a talent of ours instead. We do know you’re looking for the job experience since it does say here that you go to a film school. And yes, we are looking for part-timers willing to assist us in some of our shootings and recordings. But, Yazawa over there has sent in a video of yours back when you were still engaged in your school idol activities. I was impressed with your voice and Yazawa gave me the idea that maybe we could scout you as a talent instead.” Keiko explains.

Nico puts her phone down and smiles at Yoshiko. “Unless you’d rather sort out scripts, manage the schedule and all that, I’m sure Kei-chan’s willing to hire you as an assistant around here too, of course.” The idol chuckles. “Totally up to you, Yoshiko-chan.”

In the end, they gave Yoshiko a few days to think about the offer. She has absolutely no idea how things escalated so quickly. She walked in there, applying to help out for music video shoots and studio recordings - how did she end up with a contract to be Grand Sky’s newest rising talent?

“Admittedly, from a business standpoint, you’re very bankable, Tsushima-san.” Yoshiko remembers Keiko’s words from earlier.“You’ve got a good number of followers and fans up to this day, even if you do not realize this yourself. Aqours may have stopped performing but your fans have stayed. That’s part of why we’re scouting you.

As for Yazawa, she’s coming from a fan’s standpoint. School idol groups from Love Live! tend to disband after a few members graduate. Only a few decide to stay together and transition as professional idols, A-Rise being the first. Fans are devastated when that happens. I think that’s why Yazawa is so insistent to take you in. Because she knows how it feels to have a group disband at the peak of their career. She knows how μ's fans felt during their disbandment.  She also knows that you’ve got so much potential than just sorting out schedules and scripts, and all that kind of work.”

It’s flattering to have someone like Yazawa Nico, one of the most popular idols right now, believe in her so much but, Yoshiko’s not really sure if she can live up to the expectations that her senpai has of her.

“Give it some thought, Yoshiko-chan,” is what Nico said before she went out of Keiko’s office. “We’re not pressuring you or anything. Like Nico said earlier, Kei-chan can offer you the assistant job if you’re set on that. Nico personally thinks that Yoshiko-chan’s got a lot more to offer so, we want to give you the opportunity.”

Yeah, opportunity. That’s one hell of an opportunity indeed. But can she really do it? Besides, she’s studying and she actually likes films. What happens when she agrees to become Grand Sky’s talent? She didn’t really look into what Grand Sky’s talents does because she wasn’t even applying to be one but now, she’d be lying if she says that she’s not interested.

And so, Yoshiko relies on Google.

Apparently, Grand Sky was previously known as a voice acting school and a recording studio.

So, voice acting?

But Grand Sky isn’t just a voice acting school now. When Yazawa Nico, who was under a small entertainment label back then, signed as an endorser and became the face of the company four years ago, she became a game changer for Grand Sky as she attracted investors because of her fame. From then on, it was eventually turned into an entertainment label.

It turns out that during that time, Nico was in the process of going on as a freelance idol because of misunderstandings with her previous label. It was not disclosed but a lot speculated that it has something to do with the idol love ban that her previous label strictly imposed. There are a lot of gossips on the internet about the issue.

Yoshiko makes a mental note that she really shouldn’t look too much into it. The idol love ban is stupid anyway, in Yoshiko’s opinion. It was not confirmed whether that was true but whatever they did to Nico was enough for her to think that she should go on her idol career as a freelancer. That was supposed to be the case however, she figured she could stay with another company for a while so she signed with Grand Sky as their talent. Because of Grand Sky’s sudden popularity, Nico eventually decided to invest on the company as well, now making her a shareholder.

Another contribution that Nico did for the industry other than helping Grand Sky to establish a name as one of the fastest growing entertainment label is the school idol transition program. Grand Sky is closely tied with Love Live! as school idols who decide to go professional are trained there and eventually, they debut as Grand Sky’s new idol group. In short, it became a starting ground for school idols transitioning to professional idols.

Yoshiko’s jaw slacks at Nico’s achievements, business wise. She’s already known how huge the name Yazawa Nico is in the entertainment industry - the idol industry, to be exact so it’s not surprising to hear about achievements such as music awards and idol recognition. Impressive but not surprising. But when she thinks of how her senior was acting earlier, she wouldn’t have thought that the behind the child-like appearance and personality, the idol is a force to be reckoned with. Clearly, more than being just an idol, Nico has thought of helping other idols which, in turn, helps out the idol industry.

Well, Yazawa Nico’s pretty amazing but still, what did she see in her for her to be so insistent on taking her in as a talent? Yoshiko’s been so into her research that she jumps in surprise when her phone rang.

Call from: Zuramaru

Yoshiko swipes on the screen to answer the call. “He-”

“Yoshiko-chan?! Are you alright?!” Comes her friend’s worried (and unnecessarily loud) voice from the earpiece of the phone.

“Eh? I’m fine! I’m fine! What’s wrong Zuramaru?”

A sigh. “Thank goodness, zura!” Yoshiko hears actual relief from Hanamaru’s voice. “I’ve been texting you multiple times earlier and you haven’t replied so I thought you might be busy or you’re still bein’ interviewed but, it’s been hours and you aren’t replying so I thought something might’ve happened to you, zura. I kind of panicked and decided to call you-”

As Hanamaru continues telling her why she’s panicking, a smile tugs at Yoshiko’s lips as she feels warmth envelope her. She’s so cute, she thinks to herself. “Zuramaru,” Yoshiko says and almost immediately, Hanamaru stops. “Breathe,” she instructs and sure enough, Hanamaru exhales. “I’m sorry I haven’t replied. And, thank you for worrying about me. I just had,” Yoshiko pauses, thinking of the right word to describe what just happened to her. “a bizarre day.”

Hanamaru hums. “Did you not get the job, Yoshiko-chan?”

“Quite the opposite, Zuramaru.” Yoshiko lies down her apartment floor and stretches. “I got offered a different job.”

So she spends a good couple of minutes explaining everything to her best friend. “And now, I’ve got a contract with Grand Sky that I’m not sure what to do with.” Hanamaru is silent on the other end and Yoshiko begins to wonder if the other girl had fallen asleep somewhere along her story. “Zuramaru?”

“You met Yazawa Nico-san?! Nico-san from μ's?!”

“Glad to know you’re excited for my new job, Zuramaru.” Yoshiko jokes.

Surprised Hanamaru noises follow afterwards which makes Yoshiko laugh. “That’s not what I meant! Of course I’m happy for you, zura!” Her friend exclaims. “But I think it’s astonishing that you met Yazawa Nico! Was she kind?”

Yoshiko thinks. “Well, she is. But she is also a lot of things.”

“I can imagine, zura.” Silence. “I hope you’re not feeling pressured, Yoshiko-chan. You can say no if you feel like it’s not for you.”

“I know, thank you Hanamaru. Actually, Nico-senpai said that they’re not pressuring me into it.” Yoshiko scratches her cheeks with a finger, lost in thought. “Honestly though, a part of me feels like I want it. I’ve always liked performing. You know how I am with my theatrics.” That earns her a giggle from Hanamaru. “I don’t know Zuramaru. When I think about myself, doing these kinds of things, it just doesn’t feel right.”

“Why so?”

Why? Yoshiko sighs. “It doesn’t feel right not to have you, and everyone else by me.”

Aqours has always Aqours. They all performed as part Aqours. When she thinks of her, alone, without the eight girls she’s been with during their time in the limelight, it feels lonely.

“Y’know, Yoshiko-chan? Sometimes I just wish I was there with you,” Hanamaru says it so genuinely that Yoshiko can’t help but smile sadly. “You sound so different - so sad at times, zura. You know we’re all just here for you, right?”

“Hmm...” Yoshiko sighs. “Zuramaru…” she groans and makes sure to drag out the last syllable, sounding like a whine.

“Now, now, Yoshiko-chan, don’t make me go there,” Hanamaru replies, chuckling. “But really, I feel like you’ve got so much going on so I really worry whether you’re getting enough rest and if you’re eating well, zura.”

Yoshiko leans her head against the table, sighing. Hanamaru always know how to warm her heart. Along with this is a longing to see the girl in person. “I’m alright, Zuramaru. You’re talking about Yohane, the fallen angel! Sustenance is not a problem for me unlike mere mortals like yourself,” Yoshiko says to lighten up the conversation also because Hanamaru has done enough worrying for today. As if on cue though, her stomach rumbles.

“Sure, Yoshiko-chan. Also, I heard that, zura.”

“Zuramaru!” Yoshiko groans in embarrassment as she hears Hanamaru laughing on the other line. She can’t help but smile though because somehow, she feels a lot better. “Fine, I’ll prepare my food.” Yoshiko grumbles. “Say, have you eaten yet?”

“Yes, I have,” Hanamaru answers. “Uhm, do you want me to hang up?”

Yoshiko looks a the time. It’s just 7:30 in the evening. She and Hanamaru have stayed on the phone later than that so maybe she should try and push for a few more minutes. “Shouldn’t I be the one hanging up, since you’re the one who called?”

Hanamaru giggles. “Well, it is not like it is a written rule, zura.”

“It’s a tradition!” Yoshiko exclaims, earning her another laugh from Hanamaru. “A-Are you tired yet, though? If you are, then it’s fine,” she mumbles.

“Does this mean that Yoshiko-chan wants me to accompany her longer, I wonder…” the temple girl says, her tone teasing.

Yoshiko chuckles. “And you call me horrible.” She shakes her head, smiling. Yoshiko stands up and starts heating up some leftovers from her meal the other day. “Is it bad though, if I want you to stay longer?”

She hears Hanamaru make one of her usual ‘Hanamaru noises’ - which is usually a small gasp or a low humming sound or, sometimes just a dragged out ‘zuraaaa’. Yoshiko thinks it’s very adorable when she does that. Though, she wonders what Hanamaru is doing since it’s taking a while for her to reply.

“Zuramaru?”

“Eh?!”

Yoshiko raises an eyebrow. “Are you okay?”

“I am fine, Yoshiko-chan! I-I said I’d actually love to, zura.” Hanamaru replies quickly. “O-Oh, and Yoshiko-chan, actually I’m curious. Did Yazawa-san do that thing she does?”

What was up with that sudden change of subject? Yoshiko wonders but she doesn’t address it. Instead she asks, “Thing?”

“You know! Did she do the ‘Nico-Nico-Nii’ at you, zura?”

Yoshiko laughs. “Yeah,” she says. “That she definitely did.”

The two of them spend the rest of the evening, talking, as Hanamaru accompanies Yoshiko while she eats.

Still, as they continue talking, Yoshiko can’t help but think back to what Hanamaru has said earlier.

She really wishes that her best friend is actually there with her, too.