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whoneedsapublisher · 3 years ago

Text

Eyes on You

YouDia for a fic bet.

Words: ~2800

Summary: Dia tries to be responsible. But the heart doesn't always play along.

Also on Ao3

**************************

Dia sat in the student council office, shuffling papers around as she pretended like she was actually able to do any meaningful work right now. After a couple of minutes of pointlessly picking up forms, looking at them blankly, and then putting them back down again, she gave up, slumping down onto her desk with a long sigh.

Lord help her, she was well and truly distracted. And so badly distracted that she couldn’t even sink into her work to distract herself from being distracted.

“Oh, Eli,” she mumbled to herself. “Did you ever have to deal with something like this?”

No, of course she hadn’t. Eli was a proper idol, and a proper student council president. She’d never go and do something as foolish as fall victim to a crush on a fellow student.

Well, perhaps it wasn’t as severe as a crush, but, as was shameful as it was to admit, the thing that was so infesting her thoughts that she couldn’t even get any work done was nothing other than a girl. And one a year younger than her at that.

It was irresponsible, was what it was. She shouldn’t be harbouring feelings like this. Especially since she’d already done a fantastic job of shooting herself in the foot when it came to her relationship with the girl in question.

It wasn’t as if Dia had no connection to You Watanabe before that tone-setting event. They did, after all, go to the same school, which was relatively small. And Kanan knew her as well- Kanan’s mother and Chika’s mother were apparently quite close, and so Kanan had ended up as something between a playmate and a babysitter for Chika, and You had ended up joining with them as well since she was so close to Chika.

And even beyond that, Dia knew about You. She did pay attention to the goings-on in the school, after all. Of course she’d hear about the amazing first year who all the sports clubs wanted to recruit, who’d ended up the swimming team’s ace in no time. She’d even gone to watch the swim team practice a couple of times.

That… was where the problem had come in. Watching You swim laps in the pool, Dia had been utterly entranced. She looked so… majestic, in her element like that. And perhaps it was just because she’d been influenced by Kanan, but Did couldn’t help but notice You’s muscles. She was hardly as bulky as a weight lifter, but a toned swimmer’s body had plenty of well defined muscle to gawk at, and Dia found herself gawking. Which was a little embarrassing, and had spurred a quick retreat before anyone saw her staring.

She had made sure to… temper her appreciation after that. She still watched the swimming practices if she happened to walk past, but she made sure not to go out of her way to visit. She was, ultimately, ashamed of herself. Honestly, leering at a younger student? She was becoming as bad as Mari.

Thinking of Mari, though, was the perfect thing to throw a bucket of cold water on herself. With the dour mood those thoughts brought with them, it was easier to set aside the swimming club and refocus on work. She stopped watching the practices, even if she passed by when they were using pool. But her impression of You from

But what, then, was You’s impression of Dia? Kanan had never told the two of them about the idol group, claiming she wanted to surprise them with results. Dia wasn’t actually sure if You and Chika even knew that her and Kanan were friends. But she did know that You had been in the same class as that girl that Dia had snapped at for trying to start an idol club. And she took her duties as school council president seriously, which made a lot of students nervous around her.

And how how their first proper meeting, in You’s second year, gone? Dia had berated her and Chika, rejected their club application, and yelled at them for not taking things seriously enough.

So if You didn’t hate her, she probably at least thought that she was too strict and perhaps even just mean. Which was an issue, because having met You properly, instead of seeing her from a distance Dia only liked her more.

Too much.

But what could she do about it? She couldn’t let them start a school idol club. Not after what had happened with the first one. It would only bring more false hope and pain. And it would break Kanan’s heart.

She sighed again and picked up a form at random. She needed to at least finish some work, didn’t she?

If she could.

**************************

The gym was not full.

Frankly, it wasn’t even close.

Internally, Dia let out a sigh of relief, although it was one tempered by a little sadness. This was the end of the idol club, at least. It was a shame, though, that it had to end like this. This was exactly the kind of pain that she had been hoping to shield them from. But she’d failed, and now they were going to fail in a painful, public way, their dreams falling short. Dia couldn’t bear to look at them, couldn’t bring herself to see the echo of her own past expression on their faces.

Still, despite that, the three of them still had enough spirit left to perform. Even if it was the swan song for their short lived group, at least they could go out giving it their all. At least they’d have that one bright spot.

Goodness, You had a lovely singing voice.

And then the lights went out.

...That was too cruel. A step too far by fate. Dia knew that they had to fail here. That they had to lose this little bet with Mari, and stop all of this before it went too far. It would hurt, but they’d only been a group for weeks. They were still new. They still hadn’t really come together yet. It would be a disappointment, but not yet crushing.

And yet…

She strode away from the gym purposefully.

It wouldn’t fix anything. She knew that. It wouldn’t fill the auditorium with people. It wouldn’t make their dreams come true. It wouldn’t make winning Love Live within reach.

But Dia couldn’t bear to let it end like this. To have their last memories of being idols be the moment where everything went wrong, and a beautiful dream ended in a miserable, abrupt flop.

She threw open the door to the supply shed and picked up the generator.

Dia had failed to save them from being hurt. But she could at least let them end things on her own terms.

**************************

Unbelievable.

So much for their swan song. So much for ending it on a happy note. She’d meant to let them down gently and all she’d done was draw things out. But how was she supposed to know that half the town was going to show up and all of them just happened to have the same wrong start time?

Dia sighed irritably as she walked back towards the student council room, cursing herself for her lack of conviction. She’d packed away the generator again, so all that was left was to put away the storage key and lock everything up again.

As soon as she stepped inside, though, she was started to find that she wasn’t alone.

“Hey.”

“Wha- You?” Dia said.

The girl that had been haunting her thoughts even more than the whole mess with Mari was suddenly waiting in ambush for her, still wearing her idol costume.

“What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to thank you,” You said.

“What for?” Dia said, crossing her arms. “Giving you a reality check? It doesn’t seem to have helped.”

“For getting the lights back on.”

Dia froze.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, scratching at her mole nervously.

You grinned. “The swimming club uses that shed sometimes, you know. And we always have to get the key from the student council.”

Dia sighed.

“This doesn’t mean I approve of this group,” she said sternly. “And if Mari hadn’t overruled me, I still wouldn’t allow your club to exist. But…”

“But?” You said.

“...I simply wanted to give you the chance to actually perform properly during what I thought was your last performance. That’s all.”

Dia wanted to admit that there was more. She wanted to admit that silently, privately, part of her really did want them to succeed. That there was more to why she’d rejected their application so harshly. To admit that she’d been the one who had given them the name Aqours, in hopes of them carrying on the name.

But she couldn’t.

She had responsibilities and obligations beyond her desire for You to like her. No matter how much she wanted You to think more favourably of her, doing anything other but continue to play the villain would be selfish of her.

And yet, despite that, You smiled at her before she turned and walked away.

Did she deserve that? She wasn’t sure.

Either way, it made her a little happy.

**************************

Things should be resolved by now.

She had once again failed. The new Aqours had gone to Tokyo, and suffered the pain of failure on the big stage. Even more than that, she hadn’t managed to keep up her end of her and Kanan’s deception. But it had all worked out, somehow. Their spirits hadn’t been broken. Mari and Kanan had reconciled, and so Dia was allowed to reconcile with Mari herself. And more than that, she was allowed to be an idol again. And honestly, she truly had missed that.

Plus, with her addition, there were nine members. The same number of members as μ’s. She couldn’t pretend that didn’t excite her.

So, now she was part of You’s group instead of opposing it. There was no reason for her to be hostile towards them anymore. And the reasons behind her previous actions had all been revealed, and no one held a grudge.

So her problems with You should be solved. Dia was quickly becoming friends with her along with the rest of the group, and so she didn’t need to obsess over the girl and lament the fact that they couldn’t be friends.

Except… Dia was starting to get the sinking that “friends” wasn’t going to be enough.

It seemed that dismissing the idea that she had a crush was premature. Because spending more time with You and getting to know her better was doing nothing to stop her from haunting Dia’s mind. It was making it worse, in fact, You’s laugh echoing in her ears, her wide grin seemingly burned into the back of Dia’s eyelids, appearing whenever she closed her eyes.

And so, just like back when this was all just starting, she found herself face down on her desk, surrounded by papers, and talking to an idol that couldn’t possibly hear her.

“Oh, Eli,” she mumbled. “I’m really in it now…”

This sort of thing was common enough for high school, perhaps, but it wasn’t supposed to happen in idol groups. Everyone in an idol group was supposed to be above things like this. Even Mari, with her shameless behaviour and groping Kanan hadn’t done anything as foolish as trying to turn that into any kind of romantic relationship. Dia would have never thought that she was going to be the weak link on that front, of all people.

Well, it wasn’t as if there was anything she could do about it. She could hardly make these feelings disappear, after all, no matter how much she wanted to. And it went without saying that there was no way she could act on them.

So she had no choice but to try to force her way through them.

Again.

**************************

“Hey, Dia, can I ask you something?”

Dia glanced up to see You looking curiously at her. They’d just finished a practice, and the rest of the group was starting to leave, breaking up into smaller groups as they headed off in their own separate ways.

“Of course,” Dia said, finishing putting away the last of her things and standing up. Mari and Kanan had already left, since Dia had said she had some work to finish up before she met back up with them.

“Do I have something on my face or something?” You asked, rubbing her cheek and then checking her hand.

“What?” Dia said. “No.”

“Really?” You said. “I mean, you were staring at me all practice, so I thought…”

Dia tensed up instantly, a flare of pink exploding on her cheeks.

“I-I wasn’t really… I mean…” she mumbled, scratching at her mole.

“You kinda… were,” You said.

“W-Well…” Dia said.

You looked hesitant for a moment, and then squared her shoulders. “...So were you staring because you saw something you liked?”

“I-I beg your pardon?” Dia said. “That’s… we’re idols! Idols! You can’t just say something like that!”

“No one is here, are they?” You asked.

“Well… no, but…”

“So why can’t you answer my question?”

Dia frowned. “I don’t know what idea you’re trying to get at,” she said. “But if this is some kind of… invitation, then it’s inappropriate. Idols can’t date.”

“Idols can’t get caught dating,” You corrected.

“What?” Dia said.

“You heard the rumours about μ’s, didn’t you? There were all sorts of talk about romance in the group.”

“Those were just rumours!”

“How do you know?”

“Because idols like the ones in μ’s wouldn’t do something like that!”

“Don’t our fans think the same about us?”

Dia stared in shock at You.

“As long as we don’t get caught,” You said. “Rumours won’t mean anything, will they?”

“That’s…”

“And most importantly,” You said. “You still haven’t actually denied being interested.”

Dia sighed.

“...That’s a not risk that it’s responsible for us to take,” she said. “I’m not going to risk the success of Aquors for our selfish feelings.”

“Boo!”

Dia jumped at the sound of Mari’s voice.

“Mari!” came Chika’s voice in a hiss that still wasn’t quiet enough to stop Dia from hearing it.

“I can’t just sit here and listen to this!”

Mari stepped out from behind the door to the roof.

“Dia, stop being so responsible!” she said.

Before Dia could respond to that questionable statement, Kanan stepped out as well. “I appreciate that you’re thinking of us, but-”

“There is no but!” Dia said. “It’s unfair to risk all of our success on-”

“What if we all agreed to it?” Riko asked.

“...How many of you are hiding back there?” Dia asked suspiciously, and then sighed when the entire rest of the group poked their heads out.

“Don’t turn down poor You when you want to date her! That’s not fair at all!” Chika said.

“I-” Dia said. “This is ridiculous! If we get caught, it’ll be a huge scandal!”

“So don’t get caught,” Hanamaru said. “And we’ll all deny it together anyway.”

Dia looked from face to face desperately, before finally setting on Ruby, looking at her hopefully.

“Sis…” Ruby said. “Haven’t you already put your own feelings aside enough?”

Dia let another sigh, a long and powerful one, her shoulders slumping.

The whole thing was ridiculous. It was a risk for no reason. Even if You and Dia liked each other, there was no reason to act on it. They could just wait until after Love Live, at the very least.

But… the whole group was cheering them on. In the time since the original Aqours had broken up, Dia had been fairly isolated. Her sudden turn against idols had damaged her relationship with Ruby, and she hadn’t felt that she could explain the situation to her, since it was a secret she was keeping with Kanan. And her displeasure with how things had turned out with Mari had hurt her relationship with Kanan just as much. When stacked on the fact that her family name and her position on the student council set her apart from the other students, she couldn’t help but feel that sometimes, she was very alone.

And now… she was surrounded by people who cared about her. Cared about her so much that they wanted to take a silly, needless risk to just make her and You happy.

How she was supposed to argue with that?

“...Alright, you win,” she said. “You… will you go out with me?”

You grinned her wide grin, and Dia didn’t even need to hear the words come out of her mouth to know the answer.

#love live #love live sunshine #llss #diayou #youdia

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