#shlfic

[ellayuki]

30082022 - Word of Honor

~

The comb is dark and lacquered, and it passes so easily through the long strands of hair, Zhou Zishu barely even feels it. He hums, tilting his head back a little more, enjoying the way Lao Wen pampers him.

"You're like a spoiled cat sometimes, A-Xu ah," Wen Kexing says, and Zhou Zishu would bristle at the teasing words if not for the soft, unbearable fondness coloring them. "What am I to do with you?"

Zhou Zishu closes his eyes, the small, content smile on his lips stretching into something closer to a smirk. "You can continue doing what you're doing," he says, pointedly making himself more comfortable in his seat. "And after you're done, you can go make us dinner."

"Demanding! So demanding, A-Xu!"

[ellayuki]

03032022 - Word of Honor

~

“Tell me, Lao Wen,” Zhou Zishu says as he carefully combs his hair. It’s early evening, and there’s a certain quality to the air around them in the old Armoury. It makes him almost wistful. “When did you know you loved me?”

It’s not something he’d usually ask, mostly because it feels slightly narcissistic, like he’s trying to prove or validate something in his head.

But.

He’s curious.

Wen Kexing doesn’t lift his eyes from the scroll he’s reading. “The first time I saw you sunbathing in that square.”

Zhou Zishu huffs out a laugh at that. Ridiculous. Lao Wen really is-

"No," and this time, Wen Kexing does look up, meets Zhou Zishu's gaze head on. "It was when our eyes met. It felt like the world stilled, like it exhaled, and then everything started making sense."

And honestly? Not what Zhou Zishu expected.

Or, well, he actually did expect Wen Kexing to say something as unrealistic as that, but he hadn't expected it to sound, to feel like the simple truth. “I see.”

[ellayuki]

24062022 - Word of Honor

~

He bows, and he bows, and then he bows again, forehead gently touching the cold, stone floor on the last one, and when he sits back up, the taste of icy water on his tongue (because they can’t have tea anymore, nor wine), Zhou Zishu feels something akin to peace, to contentment, settle over him like a balm.

“What are you thinking about, A-Xu?” Wen Kexing asks, a gentle tilt to his head. His eyes are aglow with warmth, even here in this icy cave that is now both their prison and their home. 

Zhou Zishu just hums for a second, unwilling to let the good feeling go just yet. Then, when his new husband (and isn’t that something he never thought he’d have?) reaches over and pokes him once, then pokes him again, he lets out a quiet breath. “Only that I’ve really just tied myself to the most annoying man alive,” he says, just to see the reaction that it’ll garner.

He’s not disappointed.

Wen Kexing (his Lao Wen) bristles like an offended cat. 

…for all of a heartbeat, that is.

And then he smiles, soft, beauteous.

And pokes Zhou Zishu again.

“Well, too bad for you, then,” he says, sticking his tongue out childishly. His silver hair glows gold in the low candlelight, and it makes Zhou Zishu’s chest constrict at the sight. At the reminder of what he almost lost. “That you can’t get rid of me anymore. You’re stuck with me now.”

And once, Zhou Zishu would have hated the very thought. 

Now, though… Now, he breathes in deep, and sticks his own tongue out. Just because he can. “Unfortunately.”

[ellayuki]

08042022 - Word of Honor

~

They sit across from each other in his rooms, sipping tea (because Da Wu is a spoilsport and has convinced everyone that Zishu isn’t allowed to have any sort of fun) and having a light, early dinner, and Zhou Zishu takes in the scarlet figure of Wen Kexing.

There’s no more red pigment drawn under Lao Wen’s eyes (and hadn’t that looked wonderful), and there is something softer, now, more relaxed about the shape of his shoulders than it had been in the forest. His hair is still unadorned (Zishu can feel the weight of the Lao Wen’s favourite pin holding his hair up) and there’s that hint of a smile hiding around the corners of his plush mouth (and Zhou Zishu doesn’t think about how he wants to sink his teeth into that full lower lip), and it’s all so…

“Red suits you,” he says, the words slithering out from behind his teeth without his permission.

Lao Wen looks up from his food, eyes wide with surprise, and blinks. Blinks again. And then, with a deep inhale, he dips his head back down. The red tips of his ears give his embarrassment away, though. “Ah, A-Xu ah,” he whines. “Stop saying such things. It’s bad for one’s heart.”

Zhou Zishu can’t help laughing a little at that, at the thought of the Ghost Valley Master being suddenly shy and demure and red-cheeked because of a simple compliment. He smirks, takes a sip of his lukewarm tea. “You’d look even better in crimsons and golds, I think,” he says.

And Lao Wen promptly chokes, his entire face going the same shade as his robes. “A-Xu!”

[ellayuki]

13032022 - Word of Honor

~

"There's this one thing I don't like," A-Xiang says, apropos of nothing. Zhou Zishu is still healing from his days in captivity, and he's cranky at not being allowed to drink or do anything Da Wu would deem too strenuous. So he sits, and he looks at the stars, and he listens to what Lao Wen's little whelp has to say.

(Zishu adores her, though he'll never admit to it.)

He takes a sip of his lukewarm tea. He misses the taste of alcohol. He misses taste in general. “And what is that?” She’d have said even without his prompting, he knows. She has less patience than her adoptive father.

She hums, tilts her head to the side just so. Her voice is low, and she doesn’t look at Zhou Zishu when she says, “The sadness in Master’s eyes when he looks at you and thinks no one can see.”

And it’s not a punch to the gut, because he knows. He knows Lao Wen is sad, will continue to be sad until they find a way to stop Zhou Zishu’s slow death from crawling ever closer. Zhou Zishu knows.

Still, it twists something in his chest, the pain in A-Xiang’s voice, the reminder that he still has people who care for him enough to suffer when he’s gone.

He finishes his tea, and breathes.

[ellayuki]

07112022 - Word of Honor

~

"I had a dream," Wen Kexing says, blinking slowly at the icy ceiling of the cave that is now their home.

Zhou Zishu hums quietly, his cheek resting on Wen Kexing's shoulder. "Was it a good dream?" It likely wasn't, he knows, because he'd woken up earlier to quiet, sleepy sniffles, but he asks, still. What other comfort can he offer, really, but an attentive ear and a shoulder to lay a weary head on?

"A-Xiang was smiling and holding a little baby girl. Cao Weining was teaching a young boy to shoot an arrow. It was-" he takes a shuddery breath. Zhou Zishu raises a gentle hand, runs his fingers through moonlight-colored hair. Mourns with him the precious lives cut short too soon. "It was peaceful. She looked happy."

"I'm sure that, whatever happens, her next life will be just like that," Zhou Zishu whispers, trying to soothe Wen Kexing's broken heart, if only just a little. "She's earned it. They both did. And maybe, if we're lucky, we'll live long enough to meet them again."

Wen Kexing pulls him closer, hides his face into Zhou Zishu's unbound hair. "Yes. I hope so, A-Xu. I really, really hope so."

[ellayuki]

05012022 - Word of Honor

~

A-Xu, he thinks as Ye Baiyi gives him the means with which to save his beloved.

A-Xu, as he leaves their home and their son behind, chest full of hope, lungs full of dread.

A-Xu, while crossing icy mountains, looking for the trail to follow, praying that he gets there on time.

A-Xu, and he smothers the overwhelming urge to strangle the man as they stand on the wrong side of a wall of ice, trapped but alive.

"A-Xu ah," he wishes he could say, just once more, as he fades, as the edges of the world darken around him.

[ellayuki]

09022022 - Word of Honor

~

"'I wanna ruin our friendship~'"

"Oh, good God, not you, too…"

"'We could be lovers instead~'"

"Could you not-"

"'I don't know how to say this~'"

"I swear to God and all else holy-"

"'Cause you're really my dearest friend~'"

Zhou Zishu rubs roughly at the bridge of his nose. His head hurts. "I swear I will smother you in your sleep if you don't shut the hell up, Lao Wen."

Wen Kexing keeps humming, smiling and dancing his way from one pot to the other on the stove. "Don't be such a grump, A-Xu. No one likes a grump."

[ellayuki]

18112021

Word of Honor, WenZhou

~

Moonlight-silver strands slide between his fingers like the finest silk, and Zhou Zishu cannot say he mourns Wen Kexing's dark head of hair. He might resent the way the snowy shade was achieved, sure, but he loves the soft way his zhiji looks now.

"I look like a grandmother," said ridiculous zhiji complains, an almost daily thing now.

Zhou Zishu rolls his eyes, also an almost daily occurrence since Wen Kexing has made himself at home at Zishu's side. "You're just fishing for compliments, you menace. Stop pouting."

"A-Xu…" And honestly, that whine is as annoying as it is beloved.

[ellayuki]

29122021

Word of Honor, WenZhou

~

He's never thought about the taste of snow, fresh or otherwise, before; it's not something that's ever crossed Zhou Zishu's mind.

Now, it does; now he thinks about it, in a vague, offhand kind of way, as he licks into Wen Kexing's mouth after their evening bowls of icy dinner.

[ellayuki]

10092021

Word of Honor, WenZhou

~

"Here, let me do it," A-Xu says quietly, taking the red pigment out of Wen Kexing's fingers.

Wen Kexing chuckles, only half curious. "Alright. Let's see if you're any good." Which, well, given that A-Xu is a master of disguise…

Wen Kexing knows the make-up will probably turn out flawless.

[ellayuki]

27102021

Word of Honor, WenZhou

~

Honestly, if the situation were not as it is, Zishu would laugh himself dizzy.

Because really, Wen Kexing has all but straightforwardly begged for sex in the months they've known each other, and now…

Now that all their secrets have been dragged into the light, now that they see each other for who they really are…

Now he's decided to be shy and modest.

It's ridiculous. "You're ridiculous," he informs his shidi as they sit down for breakfast.

Wen Kexing balks, offended as a wet cat. "What did I do now?"

Zishu hides his smile behind his cup of wine.

[ellayuki]

07062021

Word of Honor, WenZhou

not again (fickle is the creature i chose to love)

~

Lao Wen’s body goes limp, despite Zhou Zishu’s best efforts to hold him up by his hands.

“Lao Wen ah,” he calls out, pulling him forward, gathering him close. Lao Wen’s hair is a curtain of moonlight as it pools over the crook of Zhou Zishu’s arm when he rests Lao Wen’s head there. “Wake up. Don’t do this. Not again. Wake up.”

But Lao Wen is silent, unmoving. It’s as terrifying as seeing him fall over that cliff. As seeing his body in that barn.

Zhou Zishu takes his wrist in his hand again, brings it to his cheek. Whispers, “Please, please,” into the soft skin there. Presses his cold lips to Lao Wen’s pulse point, hoping, begging, praying. “Don’t leave me here alone, Lao Wen. How can you be so cruel to your zhiji?”

“My zhiji almost left me alone in the world, too, so he’s not allowed to talk.”

And ah, ah, ah, that voice. That annoying, beloved voice.

“A-Xu ah…”

Zhou Zishu opens his eyes on a sharp inhale. When he pulls away from Lao Wen’s wrist, it’s to meet that bleary gaze. “Lao Wen,” he breathes, and pulls him close for a long overdue kiss.

[ellayuki]

05092021

Word of Honor, WenZhou

~

He can’t breathe.

After everyone he’s killed, after everyone he’s lost, he’d have thought that he’d become immune to death.

But oh, how wrong he was.

Because Wen Kexing - Lao Wen, his Lao Wen - lies pale and still, dead, on a table in a barn, and Zhou Zishu cannot breathe.

[ellayuki]

03122021

Word of Honor, WenZhou

~

“A-Xu ah,” he whispers into the cold night. The stars twinkle brightly above them. “I want to eat something warm.”

It’s not the first time Wen Kexing says it.

It’s the first time he thinks he means it.

A-Xu sighs. Takes his hand. “Then tomorrow we go eat something warm.”

[ellayuki]

23042021

Word of Honor, WenZhou

~

Lao Wen tilts his head towards the sun, a peaceful smile on his face, and ah, ah, Zhou Zishu loves him.

He takes a moment to just breathe that in, let it settle in his bones, his soul.

"Lao Wen," he says, on a whim, Lao Wen's words still echoing in his head.

"Lao Wen?" A second time, and now it catches the man's attention. His confused look is adorable.

Zhou Zishu leans forward, is the one to shrink the gap between them for once. "Lao Wen."

And yes, it really is something, having someone whose name he can call.