#shiv x reader
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ivystoryweaver · 3 months ago
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Day 19: Can You Forgive Me? (Shiv)
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Angstember Prompt Post || Word count: 150. Sad as hell.
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“They came here with guns, Shiv. They threatened our son!” You whimper, tears streaming down your face.
His earthen eyes fill with terror as his throat bobs. “I-I only have til midnight.” He takes your arms and kisses your cheek. “Might not see you again.”
“Don’t say that,” you cry. “You can figure something out. You always do.”
You can tell he’s at a loss.
“I’m so sorry I told them,” you whisper, desperately clinging to him. Pushing errant dark strands from his eyes, you urgently press your mouth to his. “Can you forgive me?”
He eyes you longingly, wishing he could fix all that’s gone wrong between you. Hoping that he can find the money he needs to pay his debt before the deadline that will end his life.
“Of course I do.” He kisses you fiercely, tears shining in his eyes. “Do not let our son forget me.”
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Angstember Masterlist || Misc. Masterlist || Main Masterlist
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Blessed With Lucky Sevens
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Shiv x GN!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • Kinktober 2024 Masterlist • Day 14: Begging
Summary: Shiv's in trouble.
A/N: Thank you so much @thexsanctuaryx for beating and saving me as always! Again this one became not smut.
Warnings: guns, blood, death, disposing of a body, declarations of love, please let me know if I have missed a warning!
Word Count: 1108
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The gun presses further into Shiv’s temple. “Please, please.” He knows he’s begging for his life, but the substance of it, the tangible essence of the plea has long since escaped him. Lost in the torrent of fear that is paralysing his mind. 
The cold concrete bites into his knees. 
“Please.”
Ivanov snorts and presses the gun harder, forcing Shiv to bend his neck. “You beg so quickly, fucking pathetic.” 
“Ivanov,” Shiv swallows, trying to formulate something, anything that would get him out of his. Give him a chance. 
Ivanov smacks him hard around the face with the handle of the gun.
Shiv’s mind sings, fizzles under the sudden pain and pressure. For a second he thinks he’s going to pass out, or throw up. Or both. 
Ivanov spits in his face, the salvia splashes up his cheek. “You think you can fucking say my name?” 
Shiv swallows, eyes closed and shakes his head. “I’m sorry.” Warmth from his temple runs down his face. 
“Sorry?” Ivanov huffs, “You think that’s fucking good enough for a piece of shit like you? You think that-”
The gunshot explodes, shattering everything. Shiv gasps, his hands automatically covering his ears as he falls to the ground. He’s sure he’s been shot. Sure he’s dead. 
But the concrete’s cold. And despite the thudding pain in his head from the smack, and the thump from falling (plus the few good punches Ivanov had got in earlier) there’s nothing. No extra pain. 
Maybe the bullet had struck his head, shock removing the sensation as he slowly died. 
He breathed deeply, counting. One… two… three… still here. 
Shiv opens his eyes slowly. 
Ivanov’s open eyes stare back. Lifeless. The top of his head is missing. Blown out by a rifle shot. 
He’s going to be sick. 
It’s not the first time he’s seen a dead body. But it’s all too much. The brains on the floor. How close he was to death. Is to. Whoever fired that shot is still out there. 
He scrambles back, as far away from the body as he can, away from the seeping blood despite the spatter that is already covering him. 
He needs to get to cover, get out of Ivanov’s fucking car headlights at least.
It’s the dead of night, a sideroad in the middle of nowhere that’s hardly fucking used. Thick dense forest to the side. 
Despite the headlights, the stars are the only source of light, the moon not yet risen. He could try to hide in the forest, but he’s with it enough to know he wouldn’t last until morning. Exposure would get him long before daybreak. 
He could grab the gun in Ivanov’s hand, check his pockets for the car keys. But whoever shot that rifle is still out there, surely waiting for a clear shot to pick him off too. 
He does vomit then, the bile coming up all in a rush. He spits and wretches into the dirt. He needs to…
The sound of a car approaching, he can’t see it. Ivanov’s headlights are blinding everything despite how far back he’s moved, and whoever is coming doesn’t have theirs on. 
Shiv scrambles back further into the undergrowth. It had to be the shooter, come to finish the job, impatient to splatter his brains all over the ground. 
He doesn’t recognise the car that stops. 
Could he reach the gun? Shoot first? No. Stay. Hide. Hide. Don’t give away your position.
“Shiv?” 
He does recognise the voice instantly. Your voice. You. 
“Shiv?” You step out of the car when he doesn’t answer, there’s a handgun in your leather gloved hand. 
You look around, checking the body.
He calls your name weakly. 
Your eyes snap to the undergrowth. “Shiv? You okay? You hurt?” You rush over as he pulls himself back onto the little concrete instep. 
“Fuck,” you kneel down, holstering your weapon and touch his face gently just below the wound. It’s the softest caress and he just melts into it. Unable to do anything else.
“What are you doing here?” He asks weakly. “It’s dangerous.” He doesn’t want to cry, shouldn’t. But his voice is thick with it, his throat aches with the force of holding it back. 
“Shhh,” you look him over, checking for more damage. “Can you walk?” 
He nods. 
You help him to his feet and put him in the passenger seat of your car before you grab things from your boot. You return to him, wrap him in a thick blanket and then hold out two pills. 
The white of them seems to shine against your black glove.
“What are those?” He asks, his voice small.
“Pain killers, the good kind.” You say softly.
He takes them without asking more questions, drinking from the flask when you offer it. The hot chocolate inside surprises him, but it tastes glorious. 
You tuck him back up, putting the seatbelt on for him. “I won’t be long.” 
The medication starts to have an effect quickly, either that or just the situation in general. The sudden dip in adrenaline. He starts to drift off almost instantly. 
You walk over to what’s left of Ivanov, check his right coat pocket and wouldn’t you know, first time lucky. You find his car keys. 
You douse his corpse in the petrol from the can you have in your boot before you check his car. There’s nothing much of use in there, some drugs. About ₽250,000 in cash, you pocket that. 
It’s an easy matter to get in the driving seat and park the car over his body. You douse the vehicle in the rest of the petrol before you set it on fire. 
Shiv’s seemingly completely out of it when you get back to your car and pull out. 
You’ve been driving for about twenty minutes when he speaks. “I didn’t know.” 
“Hey, it’s alright.” You lightly touch his shoulder, comforting him. 
“I didn’t know,” he repeats, his voice thick and dreamy, “that you were such a good shot.” 
You smile a little at that. But it’s not a happy one. 
“I’m taking you to a friend’s, they’ll get you patched up.”
He breathes deeply, steadily for a few moments and you think he’s fallen back asleep. “Thank you.” 
You don’t reply, about to take your hand off his shoulder, but he reaches out from under the blanket, squeezes your fingers tight and he presses a kiss to your palm before he lets you go.
He’s practically unconscious when he speaks again, fighting through the thick veil of exhaustion to speak. “I love you, you know. I always have.”
You know. You love him too.
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winniethewife · 2 months ago
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Let me taste your silhouette
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(Shiv X F!reader)
Prompt: Piercings
Words:1280
Warnings: Smut under the cut, Pierced reader, Nipple piercings, Breast play, humping, Switch!reader Switch!Shiv, Pet names (Puppy), oral sex (Fem receiving), PinV, unprotected sex, cream pie
A/N: For my Event Nine weeks in hell, and Kinktober.
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Shiv was captivated by the way the small metal bar bell felt under his fingers as he held her breast in his hand his fingers rolling the sensitive bud between his fingers. His hand under her jacket, attempting to hide his actions from the group she was talking to. Her body pressed close to him as they stood in the corner of the party they were at. A plastic cup of Vodka and some kind of Kool-aid in her hand as they stood, Shiv’s back against the wall, her hips pressed into his, as she talked to some others standing around them. Shiv desperately wanted to leave the party, for her to stop talking and take him home with her so he could finally get what he wanted, the feeling of the metal between his teeth, her bare skin under him. He used his unoccupied hand to pull her hips closer to him, rubbing his hard on against her ass, trying to show how much he needed her. After what felt like an entirety he was almost about to give up, when he whispered in her ear.
“Please Baby, end this, let’s go home and let me show you how good I can treat you.” his hot breath against the shell of her ear sending shivers down her spine. She smiled and reaches around to hold the side of his face, rubbing her thumb along his cheekbone.
“Shhh, Puppy, wait your turn.” She whispered, her thumb continues to teasingly caress his face, her attention returning to the conversation she was having with the other party goers. This of course irritated Shiv but at the chiding from his lover he pulled back slightly and waited, his fingers still fidgeting with her pericing and his face still buried in the crook of her neck. And there he waited patiently for a while, as she continued to talk and talk. Shiv was getting impatient, he started to grumble his voice low and irritated.
“I want to go. Rather spend the night talking between your legs.” He huffed. She gave him a glance, an unspoken warning in her eyes, but he wasn’t playing anymore, he grabs her breast squeezing it as he continues to roll her nipple between his fingers. “I know you really want to.” He growls. Their eyes meet and she can tell he isn’t going to back down. She turned her attention to the people she was talking to and grinned.
“I apologize, I have something to attend to.” She said in a faux-cheery voice before she grabs his hand from her breast and dragged him across the room. She finds an empty bedroom, closing the door and turning on him. “Okay Puppy, You need this right now? you can’t be a good boy and wait for me to be done?”  She spoke dangerously low, standing centimeters away from him. Shiv smiles devilishly.
"When you're talking, I go dead, It’s so boring.” He replied in a childish tone, egging her on. He takes her hips in his hands and pulled her in close, his lips hovering over hers. “Let me show you better ways to use that mouth of yours baby.” He whispered before pressing his lips against hers, drawing her closer into his embrace as he kisses her hungrily like a starving man. At first she was resistant to relinquish control of the situation, but when his hand held the back of her head and he sucked gently on her top lip, she melted like putty in his hands. She pressed her body against him, He pushed back walking the two of them over to the bed, forcing her down on to the bed, his hips trust against hers, seeking the relief from the glorious friction. His hands tracing her curves, starting at her ass and up her sides, finding their way to the edge of her shirt, pulling the fabric up over her breasts, exposing her pierced nipples to the cool air, his fingers graze over them with reverence. The sensation draws soft whimpers from her lips and she arches into his touch. Shiv smiles, how the tables have turned, now she was just as needy as he had been, he watched with delight she writhes underneath him, bucking her hips up into his, kissing him passionately. She grabs at his jacket and pulled him down on top of her, her whole tough woman persona out the window. She just wanted him to give her exactly what he’d been begging to give her all night.
“That’s it Baby, let me give you this dick, it’ll put you on right.” Shiv babbles as he pulled off his belt buckle and undid his jeans. “Make you feel so good baby, right? My dick is the only dick you need.” He continues, clumsily pulling down her own jeans, getting ready to slide himself between her folds and fuck her into tomorrow, when she grabs his hair, tugging his face down in between her thighs.
“Shut your mouth, give me your head.” She growls pulling on his ink black hair until he was perfectly positioned, his nose bumping against her clit as he eagerly lapped at her wet folds, his dark eyes looking up at her in the darkened room, eager to please. As Shiv continued to lick and suck at her, she leans her head back on to the bed lost in the moment as pleasure pooled in her abdomen, her climax surely approaching. Shiv moaned into her, thrusting his hips into the bed, his boxers wet with precum, his dick is achingly hard, his nails digging into her thighs as he grips them either side of his head. He focused his work on to her clit, swirling his tongue in circles around the sensitive nub. Her eyes roll back into her head as she felt the warmth of her climax over take her body her whole mind shutting off as the pleasure overrides her thoughts. When she returns to her senses Shiv is positioned over her, gently kissing his way up her chest, swirling his tongue over her nipples, loving the metallic taste in his mouth, she could feel the head of his cock rubbing on her folds, begging to fill her up.
“Baby, please…I wanna fuck you so good.” Shiv muttered, mouth full of her tits. He doesn’t have to ask again, she’s already flipped him over, straddling his hard dick as she works to lower herself onto him, slowly teasing him with every move she makes, everything she takes, everything she gives, it was surely going to drive him mad. His hands come to rest on her hips, his eyes tracing her figure, his expression filled with unfiltered adoration and desire. He was practically drooling at the sight of her riding his dick, and he certainly wasn’t being quiet about it, his moans and whimpers fill the space in time with her movements. He wasn’t going to last long, but every moment he did felt like nirvana. As Shiv felt the pressure building in him he couldn’t be patient any more, he grabbed onto her, pulling her down on to him as he rutted up into her, frantically seeking his release in her sweet slick, his rhythm chaotic and wild.
“Oh, Fuck! Shiv, please, god, mgh. Cum for me baby, please” She pleaded into his ear as he pushed up into her again and again until finally he felt the mind scrambling pleasure flow through his body, his spend filling her with warmth. They fall into each other’s embrace, filled with the joy of the afterglow as they came down from their highs, blissfully unaware of the party outside.
~
Masterlist
Taglist: : @silvernight-m @queerponcho @boredzillenial
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blue-sadie · 1 year ago
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The Slick Back
Shiv x Girlfriend Reader
Series Masterlist
Prt 3 of the Different Versions Series
Summary: waking up in a small apartment in Moscow it reminds you of something and someone
Warning: shower sex
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Yn/3rd person pov
My eyes slowly blinked open as I stretched out a groan leaving my throat as I shifted uncomfortably, I slowly sat up my eyes shooting open as my bed creaked loudly underneath me.
I looked down at the bed my eyes softening as I saw the torn and beaten up mattress and the wrecked bed frame, my lips slightly quivered as I remembered when I use to live like this before steven helped.
He helped me so much, helping my life get in gear keeping me grounded as I worked my way up, my heart ached as I thought back to when we first met everything was so special was it my fault everything changed.
A few tears escaped my eyes rolling down my cheeks and I let them it was said to see everything we built fall apart "I miss you guys" I whispered and slightly wiped my tears away before moving to the edge of the bed letting my legs hang off of it.
My slight blurred vision moved over the room, it was small and looked run down, the room only had a small window covered by tattered curtains and a door that looked really busted, I slowly stood up and made my way through to the window to look out of it.
What I looked down upon was a bustling street with loads of people crowding it and only a few cars here and there, my brows frowned slightly as I wondered where I was "maybe it's for the better I don't know" I murmured and stepped back from the window letting the curtain fall back into place.
I wondered into the next room which was slightly bigger then the bedroom it was cramped as the living room and dining room and the kitchen was only separated by a half wall and to my left was a small bathroom.
Each room was covered in a thin layer of dust and there was laundry thrown all over the bathroom, I used to be just like this never having the motivation to clean or to look after myself properly I hummed to myself slightly as I moved to the kitchen cringing slightly.
The small counter space was covered in dirty plates and cups the small of something bad filled my nose "yea I can't live with that" I murmured and huffed as I went to work on cleaning this place up, I started with the dishes to clear the counters and bagged all the trash around the apartment.
After that I went to picking up laundry putting it into a sorted piles before moving onto cleaning the floors and surfaces and lastly sorting out the bed, I was to busy humming to myself to notice the marc look a like admiring me from the door way.
His eyes stared at your ass as you bent over flattening the sheets on the bed, he bit his lip and raised his hand bringing it hard down on your ass, you screamed turning around and out of reflex you punched him causing him to hiss in pain.
"Shit baby doll its me shiv" he yelled putting his arms up in a surrender before quickly moving to his face covering the reddening patch of his face, "oh shit" I squeaked covering my mouth as I looked at him.
His russian accent startled me but the slap is what made me punch him, my eyes looked at him drifting up and down his body, he looked good in a red leather jacket with slicked back hair he looked as he would be in one of those detective movies or apart of the mafia.
"You throw a good punch" he muttered rubbing his cheek gently, I pressed my lips together as I stepped to him raising my hand to his face, he flinched at first before leaning into my touch "I'm sorry" I murmured making him smile slightly and shake his head.
"I should've announced I was here" he said his hands settling on my hips drawing little circles on my hips "I'm glad to see you up and cleaning" he murmured pushing his head into my neck his nose tickling my skin.
He kissed my neck tenderly whispering sweet things to me as he pulled me in closer his hands hugging my waist "I wish I could stay here forever but I really need to shower" he pulled back from me and quickly kissed my forehead but as he was about to turn and leave he stopped.
"How about you join me" he murmured looking back at me his eyes already filled with lust and desire I thought about it for a second before nodding "sure why not" I smiled before squealing out as he quickly picked me up.
He walked us into the bathroom placing me onto the small counter "fuck I really missed you doll" he growled his hands fumbling with his clothes as he rushes to take them off his eyes locked with mine.
I giggled as he almost fell as he kicked off his boxers "oh shush" he laughed as he kissed me, he quickly helped me on to the floor his hands quickly working to pull off my clothes "I miss the way your body feels against mine" he mumbled as he urged me into the shower.
He pressed me against the wall of the small shower it was the only way we could fit in together "I want you so bad" he muttered kissing the skin between my neck and shoulder lovingly I let out small whines and gasps as he pressed his body against mine.
"Get ready" he said, I opened my mouth to ask why but the cold water hitting us made a small scream leave my lips "that's cold" I squeaked my hands moving to grasp his shoulders tightly he laughed at my reaction, my body was tense intil the water turned warm.
"Fuck that was freezing" I muttered breathing out as the water ran over my body, he chuckled again biting his lip "but it wakes up the body doesn't" he murmured leaning down so we were face to face "awakens each part of you".
His hands traced up and down my body as he pressed his lips against mine in a passionate kiss, I let my hands fall down his body to his cock, my hands wrapped around it making his breath hitch against my lips.
"Please doll please" he begged his voice shaking as he spoke I bit my lip as I teasingly ran my finger tips up and down his cock making him whine, "why don't you beg" I murmured which made him pause and look at me and I knew I fucked up.
He raised his eyebrow looking down at me "what was that baby doll" he asked his voice laced with a dominating tone, I blushed darkly looking away "n-nothing" I whispered his breath tickled my neck as he leaned closer to me his hand coming up to cup my face and force me too look at him.
"What did you say" he muttered but I didn't answer, he chuckled darkly and turned me over in a swift motion I gasped as I was pressed against the tiles "next time don't think your in control" he growled a slapped my ass a few times each time a gasp of pain left my lips.
"Aw such a red ass" he chuckled giving it one last smack before squeezing it, "you took it so well doll" he growled as he pressed his cock in between my thighs up against my core "now can you take something else" he teased.
I nodded my head eagerly pressing myself back against him "fuck" he muttered and moved himself to my entrance "shiv" I moaned as he slowly entered me making my hands helplessly hold onto the wall.
His thrusts pushed me further into the wall, his lips attached to the back of my neck leaving love bites along my skin "p-please" I whined as I felt a knot formed in my stomach, my eyes rolled back as I clenched around him making him grunt.
"Fuck I'm close" he groaned as his cock twitched inside me "cum with me cum with me doll" he grunted and I squealed out as I cum and soon after he filled me up with his seed, my knees buckled underneath me and he picked me up just intime.
"Go to sleep doll, I'll take care of everything all you have to do is rest"
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myromeow · 1 year ago
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!! contains spoilers for season 2 of Succession generally but MAJOR episode 10 SPOILERS !!
-
Shiv Roy was never satisfied. Whether that was in her work life or her love life, Shiv was always striving for the best angle. She would never settle for something that was any less than what she thought she deserved. Then why, why was it so hard to find someone who could keep up with her? But no, that wasn’t it, because even someone like Nate couldn’t satisfy Shiv in the end. Then there was Tom. In theory great, but still not enough. It was her interest that always, inevitably, waned.
I suppose Shiv always knew, but shoved it so deep down out of necessity. It was hard enough in the business world to be a woman as it is. She had to work ten times harder than her brothers to be taken seriously, and face ten times as much criticism when she fucked up. Misogyny was a bitch, but homophobia was worse. Never mind that her own father is the king of right wing news media, and has single handedly done more damage to the societal position of ethnic and sexual minorities than perhaps any other person in America. The world, even. Never mind that his reaction would break her, surely negative. Not out of hatred for queers specifically—Logan hated everyone, after all, especially his own children. Shiv could imagine his disproving gaze, one she was all too familiar with. His lecture on how, if it ever came out, it could, no would scare the shareholders. It would ruin everything. Never mind all that. Never mind that her first kiss was with a girl in boarding school, who left after the second term. Her first heartbreak. Never mind that the best sex she ever had was during a threesome, kissing some girl she hasn’t seen since. Never mind her disappointment when Tom said no to the threesome with a girl she’d picked out on the Roy’s yacht. Shiv could’ve fucked her anyway but the risk was
too high. Too many snakes lounging on deck chairs and sipping drinks around too polite conversation. Too many eyes. Shiv Roy liked to be in control of the narrative, the when, where and who—no interruptions or mishaps.
She sat glumly on the beach next to her husband, face frowning like a child who’d been scolded, suppressing her tears that showed up on queue. She loved Tom, is what she told herself. Maybe she did. She’d loved how easy he was to convince, how trusting he was, almost like a dog. A big soft lump, sentimental enough to get choked up at their wedding. But his vulnerability, his weakness was also why Shiv could never love him the way he needed her to. Shiv did not have a soft bone in her body. And dogs learn not to trust humans that hit them, over and over again.
Shiv Roy was never satisfied with anyone. Whether that was due to her narcissism or her abidance to compulsory heterosexuality, was anyone’s guess. Shiv had built her icy grave, cold and frigid walls unreachable by all human warmth, totally isolated.
She lay in it.
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A/N — I know it’s is a hotly debated topic if Logan loves his kids but imo Logan thinks he loves his children (as Brian cox says) but REAL love is shown in actions not just words. In practice, he doesn’t love them anymore than he can use them for his own benefit. You see how quickly he throws Kendall away after u know what. Like Shiv and Tom, who she used and needed at a vulnerable time in her life when they first got together, but when someone needed to be sacrificed for the company and it was in her self interest, she would throw him under the bus in a heartbeat. Also Shiv’s face in the beach scene really reminded me of a child who’d been told off and was having a strop hahahhaha.
Please if you have any thoughts on this let me know in asks or reblogs! (I can’t reply to comments as this is a side blog). This was inspired by my pinned post on Shiv & comphet and is cross posted to my AO3
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wambsgansshoelaces · 11 months ago
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guess what guys!! like a third of the way done with a normal sized request 😗 hopefully will be done by tomorrow, but for now I’m going to retire and play good pizza great pizza like the iPad baby I am
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httpjupiterbby · 8 months ago
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i hate it here so i will go to secret gardens in my mind (fictional women)
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yourgirlxp · 2 months ago
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MY MASTERLIST
Requests are open!
(I'll be writing only gxg for now, sorry)
ACTRESS:
Cate Blanchett
Nothing yet
Aubrey Plaza:
Roommate (writing)
"Aubrey needs a place to stay while filming Agatha All Along and while preparing for a play, luckily you have a spare room in your apartment."
Kathryn Hahn
Lines Crossed (writing)
"You have a crush on your childhood friend's mother, it seemed innocent until she started giving you some special attention"
Elizabeth Olsen
some kind of jealous (writing)
"You seem a little obsessed with Agatha Harkness after watching the new series so Lizzie has to do something about it"
Anne Hathaway
Nothing yet
Jenna Ortega
Nothing yet
Scarlett Johansson
Nothing yet
Hailee Steinfield
Nothing yet
Florence Pugh
Nothing yet
Helena Bonhan Carter
Noyhing yet
Emma Stone
Nothing yet
Sarah Paulson
Nothing yet
Charlize Theron
Nothing yet
Rosemud Pike
Notning yet
Angelina Jolie
Nothing yet
SINGERS
Taylor Swift
Notning yet
Billie Eilish
Notning yet
Sabrina Carpenter
Notning yet
Olivia Rodrigo
Notning yet
Lana Del Rey
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Gracie Abrams
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Florence Welch
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CHARACTERS
Rio Vidal
Notning yet
Agatha Harkness
Notning yet
Lilia Calderu
Notning yet
Wanda Maximoff
Notning yet
Natasha Romanoff
Notning yet
Yelena Belova
Notning yet
Rhaenyra Targaryen
Notning yet
Alicent Hightower
Notning yet
Shiv Roy
Notning yet
Maddy Perez
Notning yet
Lexi Howard
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Addison Montgomery
Notning yet
Callie Torres
Notning yet
Clarisse La Rue
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Love Quinn
Notning yet
Wednesday Addams
Notning yet
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bruisedkisss · 4 months ago
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age gap yuri… if you can hear us please… please save me age gap yuri…
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salbei-141 · 1 year ago
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Be honest with me (Roman Roy x reader)
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Masterlist
word count: 1.1k
warnings: 18+, pure fluff and comfort, mentions of verbal abuse
a/n: Inactivity who? A rare update I know lol. Anyway y’all I’m so in love with him - honestly in love with all the Roy siblings, but Romulus got a special place in my heart <3
I love how late I jump onto writing trends for characters, but in my defence I've had this in the drafts for MONTHS. Anyway, hope you enjoy my loves <3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The apartment was silent, it felt too out of character, especially for Roman. The both of you lay in silence on his bed, still in today's clothes.
You move your hand slowly - scared that a sudden movement would cause him to suddenly get up and leave without warning. Tentatively, you inch your fingers onto his own - he said nothing, nor did he move. Gaining more confidence and desperate to comfort him knowing how loud his mind must be right now - you encapsulate his hand within your own. They’re soft and warm - Roman was always warm to touch. You feel his hand squeeze your own back - still no words being said.
You take a deep breath, feeling the need to break the silence finally, but before you can, Roman cuts you off.
“Please don’t,” his voice came out weak - he was usually so quick witted…he just sounded tired.
“Okay,” your voice was soft - a complete dichotomy to the tone he was used to from his father and siblings.
Another 30 minutes went by in complete silence - the both of your steady breaths being the only thing heard. Your hand still lay in his - he hadn't moved an inch unless it was to gently squeeze your hand every so often.
You turn on your side, slipping your hand out of his - he still didn't move. You decided to move closer to him, laying your head on his shoulder and draping your right arm across his chest that rose up and down with each breath he took.
You studied his face - he looked like he wanted to push you off of him, and yet simultaneously he was aching to pull you closer to him. Your touch was the only touch he felt safe feeling - you'd never hurt him, and he never doubted that thought for a second, but he was just so used to being alone and pushing people away.
You were desperate to hear his voice, to understand what was running through his head. You knew he was probably going to say some stupid quip to hide how he really felt, but you'd see straight through him; he knew this and it was the scariest thing to him - that you actually saw him.
"Ro...," you were gentle - a part of him just wanted you to shout at him and tell him he was a waste of space just like his father had - it was all he knew. However, you were just too kind, you actually cared for him, and not in the way his father cared for him - if you could call it that - but in a way that was so genuine and pure that it felt wrong to him, but he craved every second of it.
His gaze moved from the ceiling to your worried face - you looked beautiful he thought, he had always thought you were the most beautiful person he knew. "Yeah," his voice sounded small and tired.
"Are you okay?" the question was stupid, you knew he wasn't, but you wondered if he'd answer you honestly - if for once he'd be vulnerable with you, and truly let you into what was going through his mind.
"What? Pfft yeah I'm fine, real fucking good...just thinking about who has bigger tits - you or Gerri...I think Gerri does," there it was...he couldn't be honest with you for a minute if he tried - he'd rather say some crude shit and hope you'd be weirded out enough like everyone else and just leave him so he could avoid sharing his emotions.
You sat up, leaning on one hand as you stared down at him while he tried to avoid your gaze which was slowly glazing over with unshed tears. "Roman...please I-...can you just be honest with me?" your voice had a slight shake - scared that you were going to push him over the edge and he'd run.
He made eye contact with you, his heart clenching in his chest, no one had made him feel the way you could make him feel, and that scared him. He didn't know what to do - his mind was screaming so many things at him all at once that he couldn't really make a decision, so he stayed silent.
Several minutes passed of you both just holding each other's gaze then he opened his mouth tentatively, "Why do you care about me? Why can't you just call me a freak or a perv and leave?" You watched as his eyes reddened and glazed over as he tried his hardest not to cry in front of you. Had you cracked him? It felt bittersweet that he might finally just be honest with you, but the pain in his eyes was tearing at your heart.
You smiled, giggling softly as you lifted a hand to his cheek and wiped away a singular tear that had managed to fall, watching as he turned his face to meet your caress - he trusted you. "Because I fucking love you Roman".
"But why?" he interrupted you like a child would trying to understand such a foreign concept that you were trying to explain.
"There's no reason - I mean there is, you're...you. I love you Roman." You were so soft with him, it felt alien to him. It broke you that he couldn't fathom the concept of someone genuinely loving him, and in such a pure way too. This love wasn't like the love from his father, nor from his siblings - it was something so foreign that he couldn't understand it, but he liked it...he liked this.
You laid back down beside him, "Come here Ro...please" your eyes had such a soft stare - they were so warm and inviting, he couldn't object to the embrace you were offering him.
Roman inched across the bed over into your arms, wrapping his arm around your waist and burying his face in your chest, while you wrapped an arm around his back, holding him close to you. You fell into a comfortable silence, holding each other without a care in the world - it was just the both of you.
"I love you too, you know?" he muttered it so quietly that it almost went unheard, but a smile spread across your face at his confession. You knew that he had probably been having an internal argument with himself on whether or not he was actually going to say it to you; without any sarcasm too.
You felt your heart fluttering in your chest and you pulled him closer to you, "Yeah I know". You tilted your head down slightly and pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head. He went to open his mouth to say some sarky comment, but immediately shut it - he didn't need to feel defensive around you, not now, and not ever.
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Text
Clandestine. Part Four.
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Part One. Part Two. Part Three.
Chapter Synopsis - Death puts everything into perspective.
Pairing - Stewy Hosseini x Female Roy!Reader
Warnings - cursing. lots of talk about grief.
Word Count - 3k
Author’s Note - now I might just be the last person on tumblr still writing for stewy, but I am determined to finish this series. let’s ignore the fact it’s been a year since I updated it, shall we? one more part of this to go!! thank you, if you’re still here for my succession stuff <3
Series Masterlist. Main Masterlist. Inbox.
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You’re floating around in a daze.
It’s been a week since Connor’s phone call. A week since the formidable Logan Roy died on the floor of his private plane, surrounded by his closest employees. A week since you’ve seen Stewy.
You’ve been crashing in Roman’s guest room, neither of you wanting to be alone. You go to your Dad’s apartment, have meetings with old white men that all look the same, pop into the office every now and again and go home to your brothers. You were barely speaking to Kendall before all of this happening, never mind now. You can’t remember the last time the two of you said more than three words to each other.
You’re sat at Roman’s dinner table when a strange feeling settles in the pit of your stomach. You watch him picking at his salad for a minute before you say anything.
“Have you… spoke to Kendall? Like, over the last few days?”
Roman looks confused by the question, but doesn’t voice it.
“Yeah, here and there. You guys are in a fight, right?”
“Uh, yeah. We were. I guess we still are. I’m just… worried about him. God knows his mental health has been in the gutter recently anyway, but now Dad’s dead, and… I don’t know. It just can’t end well, right?”
“All we can do is keep an eye on him, I guess. He won’t fucking accept it even if we try and help, so.”
“Yeah.”
You move the chicken around on your plate with your fork, neither of you having much of an appetite recently.
“So, you never told me what your fight was about. It all seems like this big ass fucking secret that only Roman doesn’t know about.”
You’re a little taken aback by Romans candour. Usually he’s pretty avoidant, happy to live with the not knowing. He’s done with that, apparently.
“You’re not the only one that doesn’t know, Rome. Ken is the only one that does.”
“Why?”
“Why?”
“Yeah, why? Why does everyone include Kendall in everything and leave me on the fucking sidelines? Why am I always the one who doesn’t get the joke, who doesn’t know the secret?”
“Rome-”
“I know he’s your favourite, but Jesus. You could at least try and include me sometimes.”
“Roman.”
“What?”
“Kendall only ‘knows the secret’ because he… walked in on the secret. Not because I sought him out and told him, or anything like that. I promise.”
“The fuck are you talking about?”
With what has happened over the past week, your perspective on almost everything has changed. Keeping your secret is no longer top priority - or priority at all. You’re realising that you don’t care, because it doesn’t matter. Not much really matters.
“I’m in love with Stewy.”
Roman’s silent for a moment, processing.
“Hosseini?”
You can’t help but laugh.
“Yeah, Rome. Hosseini. Do you know any other Stewys?”
He shakes his head, still visibly confused.
“Are you gonna tell him?”
“Tell him what?”
“That you’re in love with him.”
“Oh. Oh. Yeah, um… he already knows. We - we’re in love. With each other. We’re dating.”
“You’re dating him?”
“That’s crazier than me being in love with him one sided?”
“Uh, yeah.”
You chuckle, looking at him for a moment before a grin breaks out across his face. He’s always been the most easy going of your brothers, the most understanding. You’ve always felt a comfort in talking to Roman - he’s more open minded than he appears. He’s a surprisingly good listener, even when you think your problems are trivial or stupid.
“For how long?”
“Fuck, I don’t even know. Two years, give or take?”
“Two years?”
“Are you mad?”
“Mad? I’m mad impressed, Princess. I didn’t think you’d be able to keep a big secret like that from me for that long.”
“So you don’t hate me?”
You’re suddenly vulnerable, terrified that your big brother is going to think less of you. Your brothers are all you have, all you’ve ever had. The four of you learned to survive with each other, with no help from parents or nannies or any kind of adult. You have nothing if you don’t have your brothers.
“I don’t hate you, dummy. I could never hate you.”
You stand up and make your way over to him, perching on his leg like you used to when you were kids. You wrap your arms around his neck, exhaling when he wraps his around your middle.
“Love you, Rome,” you whisper. “Even if you are a pain in my ass.”
“Yeah, love you too,” he murmurs. “Even if you do keep important secrets from me.”
“I promise I won’t keep anything from you ever again.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Promise. No more secrets.”
You pull back but stay sat on his lap, feeling six years old again, taking solace in the presence of your big brother.
“So Kendall… walked in on you?”
“He saw us leaving the gala together and got suspicious. He showed up at Stewy’s apartment the next morning, banging on the door and asking where I was.”
“Oh shit,” he laughs.
“It’s not funny,” you retort, but you’re holding back your giggles as you do it.
“And I’m guessing he didn’t take it well.”
“Not at all. He was cycling between yelling and swearing and then sitting really quietly just… staring into space. Then he got personal, which was expected, but that pissed Stewy off, so the whole thing got awkward again. It was… horrendous.”
“He’s horrible at feelings.”
“Says Mr Communication over here.”
He shoves you off his lap, chuckling when you slide onto the floor. You punch him in the arm as you get up, returning to your original seat. You sit in silence for a moment, neither of you quite sure how to continue.
“What now?”
“I… don’t know, Rome. I just don’t know.”
“I mean, the world hasn’t stopped spinning. Maybe it feels like it has for us, but everyone else has carried on.”
You’re confused by your brother’s sudden wisdom, until it clicks for you.
He’s free.
Sure, he’s grieving. You all are. But he’s lighter. Laughs a little easier. Gives out advice quicker.
He’s free.
You all are.
The shackles your father had placed on all four of you are broken. You are no longer bound to him or Waystar or his insane ideals as to what family should be or do or say.
“I need to get out.”
“What?” Roman asks as he cocks his head, quirking a brow at you in curiosity.
“I don’t want to be a part of this anymore. This… constant cycle of destruction and deception and stabbing people in the back. It won’t stop now that Dad’s dead. It’s the very foundation that his business is built on.”
“So you’re gonna… leave?”
“Yeah. Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna sell my shares and I’m gonna get the fuck out.”
Roman laughs, now, all big and bold and beautiful. You don’t know what’s funny, but you can’t help but laugh with him.
“I am too.”
“Wait… what?”
“I’m doing the same.”
“Roman.”
“I’m serious. I don’t know who CEO is gonna be, but it isn’t gonna be me. It’ll be Kendall or Tom or someone completely different, but we all know neither you or I are capable.”
“Jeez. Thanks.”
“You’re telling me you could run the entire Waystar business?”
You roll your eyes, kicking him under the table.
“Obviously I fucking couldn’t. But at least pretend to have a little bit more faith in me.”
Your brother chuckles, leaning back in his chair.
“We’re not built for it, you and me. We’re meant for something different. Something better, Princess.”
You nod, chewing on your bottom lip.
“What about Kendall?”
“What about him?”
“I feel like we’re… abandoning him.”
Rome looks solemn, suddenly, thinking about your older brother.
“He’ll come around, you know. And he’ll understand. That’s the thing about Kendall - he can’t hold a grudge to save his life. He tries, but he can’t.”
A tear rolls down your cheek, lump in your throat choking any words that try to escape.
“Hey, hey,” Roman soothes as he walks over, standing above you.
He swipes his thumb across your cheekbone, wiping away your sadness.
“He loves you more than anything, you know.”
You shake your head, so your brother doubles down.
“He does. You’ve always been his favourite. He’d do anything for you - anything at all. He’s mad because you and Stewy kept a secret from him, not because you’re together. Trust me.”
“He looked at me that day like he hated me.”
“He couldn’t hate you if he tried. He’s just… emotionally unavailable. Everyone knows this.”
“I miss him,” you whisper, lip trembling. “I miss my brother.”
You’re taken aback by how much you miss Kendall, suddenly. You miss him so much more than you miss Logan, or your Mom.
“Give him time. That’s all he needs. He misses you, I know he does. But you know what he’s like when he feels betrayed. He shuts down and gets all aggressive.”
You look up at Roman, gentle smile making its way onto your face.
“When did you get so smart, huh?”
“I’ve always been smart,” he laughs. “Everyone underestimates me.”
“That they do.”
“Well, not anymore. We’re getting out.”
“We’re getting out,” you repeat, finally allowing yourself to feel happiness at the prospect. “We’re gonna get the fuck out.”
“Talk to Stewy about selling your shares and let me know what he says. The sooner, the better.”
“I will. I’m excited, Rome. The world is our oyster.”
“Me too,” he chuckles, ruffling your hair. “We’ll go to the funeral, and then we’ll never have to see any of those assholes ever again.”
“I can’t wait to not have to look at Karl’s stupid fucking face every day.”
Roman keels over laughing, wheezing as he clutches his stomach. You’re crying with laughter too, both of you lighter and freer than you’ve ever been.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
“You sure about this, Rome?”
“One hundred percent.”
You hug him tightly as you say goodbye, smiling when he presses a kiss into your hair.
“I’ll let you know what Stewy says tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay. See you tomorrow, Princess. Call me if you need anything.”
“You too. Anything.”
He ruffles your hair before sending you on your way, waiting at the front door to watch you go.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
“Stewy? You home?”
You drop your bags by the front door, kicking off your shoes and jacket as you do it. You’re about to yell again when he comes running around the corner, sliding across the wood floors in his socks.
“Baby.”
He breathes it, as if he can’t believe you’re really standing in front of him again.
“Missed you, Hosseini.”
You fly into his arms, burying yourself as deep as you can in his chest. His old, worn t shirt is soft and grey and smells like the love of your life and all of his memories spent at home. He tightens his grip on you, pulling you impossibly closer.
“How are you?” he asks without letting go, resting his chin on the top of your head.
“I’m okay. I’m good, actually. Really good.”
“Yeah?”
Now he pulls away to look at you, confused by the sudden change of heart. When you left to go to Roman’s a week ago, you were a shell of a woman, a little girl without a dad. Now, you’re back, brighter and more alive than ever.
“Yeah.”
You look at him, really look at him, for a moment, before taking a deep breath and saying the words you’ve been dying to say.
“Marry me, Stewy.”
He staggers back as if you’ve hit him, eyes blown wide.
“W-what?”
“Marry me.”
He inhales, exhaling shakily before stepping forward to cradle your face in his hands.
“Aren’t I supposed to be asking you that?”
“Maybe,” you laugh. “But I guess I got there first.”
“Honey, forgive me if I’m a little confused, but… you just came back after being gone for a week because your dad died and now you’re… proposing?”
“Me and Roman are leaving Waystar,” you explain. “We’re selling our shares and getting the fuck out.”
“Shit. Really?”
“Really. The only thing stopping me from leaving years ago was the fear of disappointing my dad, and now he’s gone. So… there’s nothing keeping me there. I wanna do something else. Something for me.”
“Yeah?”
He’s grinning, beaming at you from ear to ear. Light is practically pouring from him, radiating in all directions.
“Yeah,” you half yell, leaning up to press an excited kiss to his lips. “I’m done, Stewy. I’m free.”
He picks you up, wrapping his arms around you as the two of you spin. You shriek with laughter, the world blurring as it whizzes past you. Eventually he puts you down, both of you breathless.
“Life’s too short. I need to start living it.”
“I’m so proud of you,” he whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “I love you.”
“I love you so much. More than anything.”
You kiss him tenderly, gentle and sweet and filled with so much adoration.
“So, back to my original question…”
“Wait,” he interrupts, halting your speech. “Let me do this the right way.”
With that, he runs off towards the bedroom, leaving you stood in the hallway as confused as ever. You wait patiently, desperate to be privy to his plans.
When he returns, still in his pyjamas, he kisses you softly before getting down on one knee, ring box in his hand.
“Honey. You are the love of my goddamn life. I bought this ring after we’d been dating for… three months? Call me crazy, but I knew. I just knew. It was always going to be me and you. Always.”
Your hands are shaking, breath caught in your chest as you try to soak in every second of this moment.
“So…. how do you feel about becoming Mrs Hosseini?”
“I can’t think of anything I’d love more.”
“Is that a yes?”
“The biggest, most sure yes of my entire life. Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you. Yes.”
He swoops you up into his arms, kissing you with more passion than you ever thought possible. You slip your tongue into his mouth cheekily, tangling your fingers into his hair to pull him closer as he groans.
You finally pull away for air, both of you panting like you’ve just run a marathon. Your eyes well up suddenly, a tear falling without you realising.
“You okay?” he murmurs, thumbs rubbing circles into your cheekbones.
“I’m so happy,” you whisper. “I feel like today is the first day of the rest of my life.”
“So do I,” he agrees, looking down at you with so much love you it makes your knees buckle. “Baby… if you’re getting out, then I’m getting out.”
“Wait, what?”
“If you want to get out of Waystar, I’m not gonna stay. If you’re washing your hands of it, then I am too.”
“But… your money.”
“Honey, those shares don’t mean shit to me. The only thing that matters is you.”
You look at him intently for a moment, searching for any traces of doubt. All you find is pure adoration.
“Stewy?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you gonna keep that ring in the box forever?”
He throws his head back as he laughs, opening the velvet box to show you what’s inside. He slips it onto your finger with ease, the diamond sparkling perfectly on your hand.
“It’s so beautiful. I’m the luckiest person in the world, Mr Hosseini.”
“I think I have to disagree with you there, Mrs Hosseini.”
“Say it again.”
“Mrs Hosseini.”
“And again.”
He kisses you, mumbling against your lips.
“Mrs Hosseini.”
“Mhmm.”
“My wife. The prettiest girl in the world. Mrs Hosseini.”
You can’t help but grin into his mouth, buzzing with the energy of it all.
“Now, I was about to make dinner before you came home, but we can go out and celebrate if you want?”
You shake your head, snaking your arms around his neck.
“All I want right now is a night in with you - that’s all the celebration I need. Let’s make that pasta you like, and then we can watch old sitcom reruns on the couch.”
“Sounds perfect.”
Stewy slides his hand into yours, his thumb playing with the shiny band of the ring on your finger.
“It’s gonna be like this forever, you know. We get to do this for the rest of our lives.”
“It’s all I’ve ever wanted,” you breathe, resting your head on his shoulder as you make your way to the kitchen. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
As the sun sets through the floor to ceiling windows, you and Stewy dance across the kitchen, slipping and sliding across the tiles.
Your heart skips a beat every time your ring catches the light.
Your heart skips a beat every time you look at your fiancé.
Your heart skips a beat every time you realise that you’re not dreaming.
This is your life. And you’ve never been more excited to live it.
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@justacaliforniandreamer @616wilsons @shawty-writes-a-little @isuspectitwasthenargles @thinemineours @buckysbae @jolie989 @allcheesemelts @nosebeers
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vclvetfleur · 1 year ago
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Obedient
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Pairing ▹ Roman Roy x Fem! Reader
Synopsis ▹ After graduating college, you had a hard time finding anything. You were living paycheck to paycheck, until your old college roommate tried to help out with getting you an interview at her job, Waystar Royco. After a mix up, you find out that you were interviewing for Kendall's little brother, Roman. The more time you spent with him, you realized his whole facade of being the weird noisy arrogant douche was just to cover up really dark issues. But how much of it can you take til it just becomes way too much for you? You had your own stuff to deal with.
Notes ▹ I decided to finally start a series about Roman. There is not enough fan fictions about him. There's going to be talks about past traumas and unhealthy coping mechanisms. I plan on making the character have deep rooted trauma as well, but hiding it a lot better than Roman, not as well though. There will be triggers for past child abuse, implied (c)SA, mentions of EDs and some substance abuse. Regardless of the heavy tones, I hope you have fun reading. This is mostly a therapy writing thing.
.・。.・゜✭・.Playlist ・✫・゜・。.
Chapters ▹ Chapter 1 , Chapter 2, Chapter 3 , Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20
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beegomess · 22 days ago
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You Haven’t Seen My Man || Kendall Roy
Summary: Being Kendall Roy's wife involves giving up some things. However, working with you involves understanding that sometimes you may end up drawing more attention than he would like. But this is not really a problem for someone who loves to prove to be powerful all the time. Warnings: Cute, spicy with hints of implicit control - Word count: 8.3k
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You were married now, but the story that united you was far from conventional or romantic. His brother and Kendall met in a rehabilitation clinic, sharing not only the fight against addiction, but also the weight of being heirs always pressured to prove their worth. The friendship between them was natural, and you, as a frequent visitor, became part of that bond. At the time, she hid that she worked as a legal advisor at Waystar, aware that the connection with the Roys could complicate things.
When both were discharged, you organized a celebration. It was that night that you and Kendall began to get closer. What seemed like an unpretentious friendship evolved into something more. You have become colleagues, friends and, finally, boyfriends. They were difficult years, marked by relapses of both and by Kendall's constant effort to get back up. Despite this, you remained together, supporting each other.
But the night Kendall asked you to marry him brought a devastating turn. You left dinner overflowing with joy to tell your brother the news, but you found him unconscious in your apartment. The overdose was fatal. What should be a new beginning also became the end of an important part of his life.
The devastating loss increased the pressure of your father, who wanted you to take on the role of CEO of the family business, something you always avoided. He also showed support for his marriage to Kendall, but his real intentions involved uniting families to strengthen his power, which filled her with revolt. Since then, you have kept your distance from your family, although his pressure has never ceased.
Kendall remained by your side, putting her own pain aside to help you get through the grief. Although the loss has never been completely overcome, it has become more bearable in the company of someone who understood the weight of carrying difficult memories.
When they got married, the lives of both fit in a surprisingly quiet way, considering the chaos that surrounded them. You chose to stay out of the power dispute at Waystar, which helped maintain the balance between work and marriage. Still, working under the same roof, with Kendall technically as his boss, brought challenges. Some tensions inevitably overflowed to domestic life, but you learned how to deal with it.
That morning was a perfect example of the controlled chaos that you and Kendall had learned to master. Since Logan's death, Waystar had become an arena of constantly burning egos, with Kendall, Shiv and Roman competing to make decisions while sewing the deal with Lukas Matsson. For you, the frenetic pace was nothing new. But that day, it seemed that everything was amplified.
Kendall had left early, leaving you with some precious minutes in bed that, although comforting, ended up devoured by the avalanche of messages and notifications on her cell phone. When he arrived at the office, he was already one step behind, and this did not go unnoticed. He didn't even have time to spend in Roman's room, where he and Lukas were gathered. Not that you wanted to get more involved than necessary - your role there was more strategic, and you knew exactly when to withdraw and when to act.
While packing the pile of papers I would need to discuss with Kendall, the phone on his desk vibrated. It was a message from him with a typical urgency. You sighed, already gathering what you needed, while answering a call from an external lawyer who seemed unable to understand something simple.
The heels of your shoes hit rhythmically against the carpet as you crossed the corridor. The sound echoed in the open spaces of the floor, a clear sign of his haste. In that environment, everyone seemed to be always watching each other, like animals in a corporate zoo.
When passing through Roman's room, he noticed Lukas gesturing at a glance, but did not pay attention. It was no news that he was there. Inside, Lukas interrupted the sentence itself when you passed, his eyes fixed on you long enough for Roman to notice.
- When I buy all this shit, will I have assistants like her? - Lukas shot, a cheeky smile curling his lips as his gaze lingered in the direction where you had just disappeared. The malicious insinuation was clear in every word.
Roman swallowed dryly, the discomfort evident in his expression. I knew Lukas well enough to know that giving any information would only increase his interest. But I couldn't just ignore it either. He needed to stop talking.
- Man, trust me, you wouldn't handle her. - Roman said, launching his typical mixture of humor and sarcasm. - She sees beyond the walls. You probably already know what you think before you open your mouth. It's fucking scary.
Lukas let out a short laugh, but Roman's comment didn't totally disarm him. His thoughts were still stuck in the image of you crossing the office, his hips moving with a grace that seemed almost calculated.
He knew he shouldn't be distracted, not at that moment, but something in you bothered him. It wasn't just the appearance - it was the aura of control, of someone who knew exactly what he was doing.
As Lukas turned his attention to the meeting, the malicious smile did not completely disappear. Maybe it was an exaggeration, maybe he was just bored. Or maybe there was something in you that challenged you, without you even knowing it.
You, on the other hand, were completely oblivious to any look that could be cast in your direction. Your mind was too busy with professional issues, and on the personal side, Kendall, although consumed by the obsession with being a CEO, found ways to devote to you all the attention she needed - and sometimes even a little more. He knew how to balance the two worlds when necessary, a trait that you secretly admired in him.
That same day, something not so unusual was about to happen. At work, you always maintained an impeccable posture. Seriousness and professionalism were practically their business cards. You knew the dangers of giving room to gossip or distractions in the corporate environment. But no matter how much I tried to keep things strictly professional, sometimes it was impossible to ignore the magnetic tension between the two of you. He had a unique talent for making you lower your guard, especially when Waystar's building was almost empty.
The day was exhausting and long, a whirlwind of words and numbers that seemed to dance in front of you from the moment you passed by Waystar's concierge. Now, with the floor almost empty and the sky outside dipped in darkness, you and Kendall were sitting side by side on the couch in your living room, trying to decipher the last barrier of a problematic contract.
Kendall's suit had already been abandoned hours ago, and the sleeves of his dress shirt were folded up to the forearms. He was more comfortable. You had also abandoned any formality: the heels were dropped near the sofa, the blazer had disappeared at some point in the day, and you now settled with your legs bent under you, in an almost intimate position, reflecting the tiredness and comfort you felt next to him.
The silence in the room was broken only by the sound of fingers occasionally typing on the notebook keyboard and exhausted sighs. It was Kendall who broke the cycle, rubbing her face with her hands and leaning back on the couch with a heavy sigh, the frustration evident.
You observed the movement, the way he seemed more vulnerable at that moment, and made the decision to end the torture that you yourselves were imposing. With a decisive gesture, you closed the two notebooks in front of you and organized the papers in an improvised pile.
- I think we've done enough for today. - His voice was low, but he had a quiet determination that he didn't dispute.
When you leaned over to reach the table, your skirt went up a few centimeters more, exposing parts of your skin. Despite the evident tiredness, Kendall's gaze automatically slid to you, a spark of interest lighting up in your eyes. He didn't say anything, but the smile that began to play on his lips delivered him.
You leaned back on the couch again, but this time, instinctively, closer to him. His hand went up to the back of Kendall's neck, his fingers tracing small circles on the tense skin, an affectionate and intimate gesture that always made him relax.
- Do we really have to go to his country house this week? - You asked, your voice low and almost resigned, as if you expected him to change something. - Can't Matsson be normal and just do a video conference?
Kendall opened her eyes, turning her face slightly in your direction.
- Do you need a vacation? Because that would be a bad moment. - The provocation came with a tired but sincere smile.
- Well, you couldn't stop me anyway. - You answered in the same tone, a playful smile illuminating your face.
Kendall tilted her head, the expression slightly challenging as she rested her hands on her legs, gently pulling them to be on top of his.
- You know I'm still your boss, don't you? - His provocation was accompanied by a light touch on his knees, his fingers slowly rising up the curve of his thighs, like someone testing the limits.
- Nothing like a good judicial process to put things in perspective. - You replied with a defiant smile.
He let out a low and incredulous laugh, his eyes shining with amusement.
- Are you threatening me? Because, just for the record, my legal group is the best in the country.
You couldn't contain the loud laugh that escaped, the sound echoing through the silent room. Kendall leaned over, his smile growing when he saw his fun.
- What? Do you think I'm kidding? - He continued, still smiling, but now his hands were firmly anchored to your waist, pulling you closer. You didn't notice the exact moment when you ended up completely on his lap, but there was, sitting on your legs, the heat of the bodies of you two filling the small space between you.
- You definitely wouldn't want to face me in a court, Ken. - You murmured, the lowest voice now, but still provocative, while your arms wrapped around his neck.
His hands tightened slightly on his waist, as if they wanted to record the moment in his memory. He tilted his head, his eyes sliding from his lips to the neckline of his blouse, which was now slightly more open because of the position.
You didn't have time to say anything else before he tilted his face and his lips finally met. The kiss started slowly, almost exploratory, but quickly became more intense. His hands slid from his shoulders to his chest, feeling his breathing accelerated as he deepened the kiss.
Some fingers slowly rose under your skirt, dragging the fabric with them, while Kendall pulled you even closer, gluing her hips to his. The movement was deliberate, provocative, and when he pressed you against you, you felt exactly what he wanted you to feel.
You grabbed the collar of his shirt, your fingers sliding down the open collar until you met the heat of the exposed skin, at the same time, his hands went up more, exploring his thighs without any hurry, but with a firmness that made it clear that he knew exactly what he wanted. When the lips parted, it was only for him to go down his jaw and reach his neck, where he began to distribute hot and possessive kisses.
You let out a trembling sigh when he found a sensitive spot near your collarbone. He noticed and lightly bit the area, a satisfied smile forming against his skin when he heard the sound that escaped from his lips.
- You have no idea how much I have to hold back when you wear this fucking skirt. - He whispered against her neck, his warm breath making his skin shiver.
You arched your body, tilting your head to give him more access, while he continued the path over your shoulders, his lips alternating between kisses and soft bites that made you lose control. Unhurriedly, Kendall slid her fingers through the fabric of her blouse, moving it away just enough to expose more of her skin.
- Much better this way. - He murmured against his collarbone, the hot breath making his skin even more sensitive. His hands returned to your waist, pulling you again against him while your lips explored the new piece of exposed skin.
You tried to answer, but your mind was a blur. His every touch seemed to set you on fire, and when he pressed his lips lower, near the beginning of your bra, you couldn't hold a louder sigh.
That's when a noise in the distance interrupted the moment. A low sound, maybe the creaking of a door or quick steps, made you freeze for an instant. Kendall, however, seemed to ignore it completely.
- Ken... - you call, between sighs, your eyes opening more attentively while trying to regain focus. He ignored it, thinking it was just one more of those delicious moans you let out when muttering his name. But your voice became more serious when you pushed his face away, still panting. - Ken, I think there's someone here.
He frowned, reluctantly, his lips still close to his neck while grumbling:
- So what?
You moved away a little, already restless, standing, your eyes trying to cross the darkness of the office beyond the glass walls. Kendall sighed, clearly upset, and accompanied you. He stopped right behind you, his hands automatically returning to your waist as he glued his body to yours, as if the situation were a mere detail that did not require any attention.
- There's no one here, dear. - He murmured in her ear, pressing his lips back on the curve of his neck, ignoring any sound or shadow that might exist.
You closed your eyes for a moment, almost giving in again to the warmth of his hands on your waist and brushing your lips that seemed to want to erase any remnant of your concern. But then the sound came back: something soft, like a hurried movement or the creak of a door in the distance.
- Ken, seriously. - You turned around, putting your hands on his chest, trying to stay firm. - Shall we go home?
He furrowed his eyebrows quickly, his lips curved in a carefree smile that only made it clear how much he thought you were exaggerating.
- Are you really getting me out of here? - he asked, tilting his head while looking at you as if it were a crime to leave things incomplete.
You laughed lightly, shaking your head, but before you could answer, he pulled you by the neck for a kiss, one of those that disarmed any argument. The plan of a quick kiss to convince him was completely lost when he deepened the movement, his hands firm on his waist as he pressed you against his body, with an accuracy that made you forget why they were still there.
Finally, he walked away, the satisfied smile still stamped on his face, and murmured:
- Let's go soon. - He took the suit thrown on the couch with the same energy as someone who wanted to shorten the waiting time, wearing it anyway.
You took the opportunity to take your bag, put on your shoes and turn off the lights. While the door closed behind you and you walked to the elevator, Kendall didn't waste time: a hand slid firmly to his ass, squeezing lightly while he commented something provocative with a cheeky smile.
The way back home seemed longer than usual, every second an agony. His fingers slowly went up his thigh, deliberate, squeezing and sliding, as if he wanted to test his limits.
As soon as the elevator of the building where you lived arrived, the silence between you seemed electric, the air loaded with tension. As soon as the door opened directly to the apartment, Kendall was already pulling you by the waist, closing the space between you as if there was no more time to waste. He pressed you against the wall next to the entrance, his hungry lips on yours, and you responded with equal intensity, your hands grabbing his hair, pulling him closer.
The corridor became a blur as he guided you inside, the two bumping into furniture as if every second mattered. When they got to the kitchen, Kendall didn't hesitate.
- Is this good for you? - He murmured, his voice loaded with sarcasm and desire, his chest pressed against his back, while sliding his hands down his thighs, raising his skirt without ceremony.
You couldn't answer, already completely surrendered to the firm and urgent touches. The kitchen, with its cold tones and the soft street lighting that entered through the windows, became the perfect setting for the outcome of the desire that began in the office.
__________________________
The days before the trip were intense and so full of commitments that time seemed to escape through your fingers. Kendall, you, Roman and Shiv were at a frantic pace, adjusting the last details of the proposal for Matsson during the flight. The atmosphere between you was focused, but Roman's constant interruptions with his jokes did not let the environment become completely wise.
The flight was long and silent. While most of you were immersed in papers or napping, there was a feeling of shared restlessness. You noticed this in Kendall, who drummed her fingers on the arm of the armchair.
When they landed at the small airport, the atmosphere of the destination welcomed them with a humid and cloudy cold. The surrounding mountains seemed to be covered by a thin fog, and the icy wind carried raindrops. Roman, when putting his feet on the ground, looked at the cars waiting for you and, as expected, made a comment:
- Oh, perfect. Who needs a helicopter when you can take an endless trip by car.
During the journey through the winding roads that crossed the mountainous region, the silence in the car was interrupted only by the sound of the windshield wiper fighting against the persistent drops.
When they finally arrived at the place, an imposing and modernist construction emerged in the melancholic landscape. It was isolated, surrounded by tall trees and surrounded by low clouds. Despite the discomfort caused by the cold and rain, the minimalist architecture seemed even more impactful in the scenery.
You and Kendall went out side by side, the body expression of both was neutral, maintaining professionalism. The tense atmosphere of the negotiation seemed combined with the gloomy atmosphere of the place.
Lukas was waiting under the entrance cover. Dressed casually, he seemed completely at ease, as if the hostile weather was just another characteristic of his nature. His eyes soon fell on you, analyzing every detail in a long and not at all subtle way. A brief smile appeared on the corner of his lips, something between interest and curiosity.
He approached to greet the group, extending his hand to Kendall first. Then, his eyes turned to you, and he tilted his head slightly, as if trying to evaluate who you were.
Kendall returned the greeting impassively, and you just kept the same professional countenance, corresponding to the handshake that Lukas offered. Despite not showing any visible reaction, you noticed his insistent gaze on you, as if you were trying to decipher your presence there.
His first impressions of that place ranging from something almost picturesque, ideal for relaxing, to a slasher movie setting. Dense trees surrounded the complex, its branches writhing as if whispering secrets. And the accommodations... Well, these brought a new meaning to "forced intimacy".
The rooms were small, surrounded by glass walls that led to the treetops - and to the rooms of others. There were no curtains, just a dubious concept of "integration with nature". Privacy seemed like a joke.
- What the fuck is this? - you let go, dropping your suitcase in a corner with a slack of disdain. - They put us in a matchbox with transparent walls.
Kendall, already taking off her coat, laughed low and shook her head.
- This guy is too weird to choose this damn place. - But the irritation on his face was obvious. He hated places that escaped the standard of impeccable luxury.
While you were removing your heavy coat, Kendall answered a call from Roman. He left his cell phone on the speakerphone on the table, and his brother's debauched voice took over the environment.
- Damn, are these rooms a social experiment? - Roman began, already with that tone loaded with sarcasm. - Who was the genius who decided: 'Hey, do you know what's going to be great? Glass walls among dysfunctional adults!'.
You suppressed a laugh while Roman continued:
- By the way, you can see you here. Yes, literally. So, please, do me a fucking favor and save the couple's little show for later. Seriously, whatever you do in that bed - I don't know, bite, moan, scream - I don't need a VIP window to watch. My trauma quota is already broken.
- Why don't you just look away? - Kendall replied, frowning, but unable to hide a smile.
- Oh, great plan, Ken! I'll just turn my head and ignore the erotic theater that you two may or may not decide to stage. Like, of course, super simple. It's like asking not to look at a car disaster.
Kendall just hung up with a sigh.
- He never shuts up, does he?
- It's a talent. - You laughed, dropping your coat on the couch and going towards the bathroom.
The bathroom was even tighter. You sighed when you entered, since it wasn't exactly the standard of comfort you were used to. His apartment in New York was practically a sanctuary, where not even a drone would be able to snoop.
The hot water ran down his skin, but there was no way to relax completely. Everything in that place seemed... exposed, at the same time as tiny. When you left the bathroom, wrapped in a towel, you found Kendall sitting on the bed, fiddling with your cell phone with a restained expression of frustration.
- What's wrong? - you asked as you went to your suitcase, taking the clothes you would wear during dinner.
Kendall dropped her cell phone on the bed and rubbed her eyes with her hands, the gesture of someone on the verge of exploding with their own thoughts.
- Nothing, just rereading some things. - He replied, looking up at you. The smile that emerged was subtle, but carried a malicious trace.
- What kind of "things"? - you asked, pulling a black wool blouse out of the suitcase.
He tilted his head, his eyes walking through you while you chose a heavy coat to complete the look.
- The kind that makes me think that we could pretend we got lost in this shitty place and skip this dinner.
You laughed, shaking your head while wearing your underwear, still feeling the remnant of lightness of the moment they shared. However, as soon as you and Kendall left the room and reached the main corridor, the atmosphere changed. Near the entrance of the hall, they found Shiv and Roman, and the air already seemed loaded with tension. As expected, Roman did not miss the opportunity to break the atmosphere with one of his jokes, full of irony.
- Look, the couple of the moment. - He said, with a crooked smile. - I bet dinner will be the preliminaries for what comes next.
You didn't stop, you just kept walking, your cutting tone escaping naturally.
- Roman, you're talking so much about it that I'm starting to think you're waiting for us to make love in front of you or something like that.
Roman went from surprised to angry, and you could hear the frustration in his voice.
- Fuck you.
You launched a victorious smile, without even looking back. You positioned yourself next to Shiv, following next to her to the table where they would sit while you listened to her tell you about the discoveries about Matsson.
The rhythmic sound of your heels and those of Shiv echoed through the hall as you walked towards the designated table. To the corner of your eye, you noticed Gerri and Carl sitting further down, engaged in a conversation that seemed casual. Gerri threw a polite smile in your direction, and you reciprocated, without thinking too much, before continuing to walk next to Shiv.
However, as soon as you passed, Carl leaned slightly towards Gerri, the unmistakable provocative tone.
- Still trying to make friends, huh?
Gerri kept the smile on his face, but the sarcasm in his voice was cutting.
- I still can't believe this bitch got so much power just by fucking one of Logan's children.
Carl gave a muffled laugh, his gaze dancing between Gerri and his figure, now on his way to the table.
- Well, it's not like you haven't tried something similar either, right?
Gerri sighed deeply, as if the conversation was more exhausting than necessary.
- Fuck you, Carl.
You, oblivious to the poison exchanged behind you, went to the table with Shiv, focused only on the dinner you were about to start.
Dinner was a mixture of forced formality and disguised tensions. The expensive dishes were served in silence interrupted only by the strategic conversations between the sides of Waystar and GoJo. You were calm, oblivious to any subtext that surrounded the table. He answered Matsson's questions succinctly when he tried to involve you in discussions about his area of expertise, remaining strictly professional. His clear and objective answers left little room for any other interpretation.
On the other side of the table, Roman watched everything with the usual restless attention. It didn't take long for him to realize that Matsson's eyes wandered to you more often than necessary. It was subtle, but it was there - the look that lasted a little longer when you spoke, the pause before he returned to paying attention to what Kendall or Shiv were saying.
He spent dinner rolling his eyes at himself. "Really, Lukas? Do you want to fuck her now? At a dinner? With Kendall right there?" He thought, trying to decide whether to intervene with some comment or just let the show roll. In the end, he remained silent, but the tension did not go unnoticed.
Dinner was over, and conversations flowed in small groups scattered around the hall. You ended up cornered by Greg, who, with his innate ability to turn any topic into an endless monologue, was talking about something that involved compliance systems and a documentary that no one else seemed to have heard of. You nodded from time to time, let out a "Is it really?", while thinking about how to get out of there.
Finally, you asked for permission, a polite smile on your lips, but in a hurry enough not to give him room to insist. The cold air outside was an immediate relief, and you pulled your coat closer, taking the silver cigarette wallet out of your pocket. The sound of the lighter breaking the silence was almost comforting as the smoke spread around him.
You were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn't hear the steps approaching until a low voice full of irony sounded behind you.
- Do you mind offering me one of these?
You turned around slightly, finding Lukas Matsson standing there, the smile half crooked on his face, the expression too casual to be innocent.
- Of course. - You answered, handing him the wallet and the lighter. He took a cigarette, lit it calmly, and the flame of the lighter briefly lit up his face before he released the first long puff.
For a few seconds, silence reigned, only the sound of the embers burning filling the space. So, he broke the moment:
- So, what's your story? Did they throw you into this last-minute deal or was it just a strategic move that no one noticed?
You let out a low laugh, bringing it again while answering:
- I don't think your team did homework as well as you think. - There was an ironic tone in his voice, but nothing exaggerated. - I've always been involved. I only prefer to avoid the spotlight when I can.
Matsson gave a short laugh, leaning more relaxed against the wall, but his eyes never left you.
- You know, that's funny. - he said, releasing another drag. - It seems that the more time I spend with you, from Waystar, the more I wonder how Logan kept this shit all together.
You kept a polite smile, but you didn't get more involved than necessary.
- He knew exactly how to deal with each piece on the board.
He arched an eyebrow, interested.
- And you? Is it just another piece... or is it the one who moves the others?
His words came loaded with a subtext that you preferred to ignore. Your smile didn't falter while you put out the cigarette on the stone guardrail in front of you.
- I'm more for someone who guarantees that the board remains whole.
Matsson laughed softly, shaking his head.
- Between us, if Kendall had introduced me to you before, I would have signed any contract he asked for.
You stopped in the middle of the gesture of putting out the cigarette, crossing your arms instinctively. The short laugh that escaped was dry, almost sharp.
- This is somewhat inappropriate, considering the context.
Matsson tilted his head, a smile that was half fun, half provocation forming on his lips.
- Don't worry, it just makes everything more... interesting.
The comment made something turn in your stomach. His disconnection from the seriousness of the situation was as absurd as it was annoying. For him, it seemed like a game, a casual provocation, but you felt the weight of the inadequacy. Taking a step back, you adjusted your coat with calculated calm before answering firmly:
- Well, I think I've spent too much time outside.
He didn't move, he just kept smiling in that almost defiant way, as if he was testing his limits. You turned around and started walking back, but the discomfort persisted. Even without looking, it was impossible to ignore the weight of his gaze burning on his back.
When he got close to the salon, he saw Kendall, and the relief was immediate. Approaching, you lightly touched his arm and murmured something quick. He nodded, casting a discreet look at you before continuing his conversation.
As you left the room, you could feel Matsson watching everything from afar, his eyes fixed on every movement. What did he think he was doing? The confusion hung over you as you went up to the room, trying to remove the discomfort of that interaction.
After dinner, when most people were already starting to disperse, Matsson called Shiv, Roman and Kendall to his office. The room was minimalist, with dark wooden furniture and soft lighting that seemed to cast more shadows than clarity.
Roman, as usual, did not miss the chance to make one or two comments that made him laugh, while Shiv kept a clinical look at Lukas' roles and words. Kendall was attentive, but calm, following each point with a meticulous focus.
When the subject of the agreement finally sold out, Roman was the first to get up, with
Shiv going right behind. Kendall, in turn, mentioned accompanying them, but Matsson's voice interrupted him, casual, but firm.
- Kendall, stay a little longer. I want to exchange an idea with you.
Kendall stopped halfway, looking at the brothers. Shiv hesitated for a moment, narrowing his eyes, but ended up leaving without saying anything. The door closed with a soft click, leaving the two alone.
Lukas went to the bar in the corner of the room, the steps deliberately slow. He took a bottle of whiskey and poured two glasses, handing one to Kendall before casually leaning back on the counter. His smile had that ambiguous quality - friendly, but provocative.
- You know, you have an interesting team. - He started, turning the glass in his hand. - A little... predictable, maybe, but interesting.
Kendall laughed low, almost automatically, while taking a sip.
- Yeah, they do what they need to do.
Lukas tilted his head slightly, his smile deepening.
- Someone from your team caught my attention.
Kendall raised an eyebrow, curious, but still relaxed.
- Really?
- Yes. - Lukas took another sip, savoring the moment. - An assistant of yours, I imagine. She tried to stay professional, but... fuck, what a woman.
Kendall laughed lightly, shaking her head as if the situation were an internal joke.
- I didn't know she was your type.
Matsson arched his eyebrows, as if he were facing something too obvious to be discussed.
- Are you slutty? Damn, the woman is fucking hot. I tried to start a conversation, but she didn't make it easy.
Kendall let out a more genuine laugh now, completely certain that Matsson was talking about Jess. He imagined the assistant, who always seemed shy and out of place, trying to avoid the company's buyer.
- Well, that probably blew her mind. This kind of situation is not exactly her strong point.
Matsson shrugged, the smile loaded with subtext.
- Maybe. But nothing that a little... persistence can't solve.
Kendall still laughed, not realizing the true focus of the comments.
- Okay, good luck with that.
Matsson raised the glass, as if toasting to the "challenge", but the malicious glow in his eyes suggested much more. Finally, he changed the subject, but the tension in the air persisted, hovering between the two as something that would not be easily dissipated.
__________________________
The next morning, as soon as Kendall appeared, Roman intercepted him right on his arrival for breakfast, looking more curious than worried.
- So, Ken, what did Matsson want with you yesterday?
Kendall sighed, already anticipating Roman's insistence. In addition to having been briefly frightened by the abrupt arrival of his brother.
- Relax, man. I won't sell the company without you. - Kendall answers with a light smile with a humorous tone.
Roman, however, rolled his eyes, impatient.
- What did he want?
Kendall hesitated for a moment, but ended up letting out a short laugh while lowering her tone of voice.
- No big deal. He just wanted to talk about an assistant of mine.
- Assistant? - Roman narrowed his eyes, his expression confused.
- Yeah, I don't know, Jess. He said he thought she was hot or something like that. - Kendall gave a light laugh. - Surprising, right? Like, who would have thought?
Roman blinked, the plug suddenly falling, and his expression became incredulous. He grabbed Kendall's arm, pulling him away from curious ears.
- Ken, are you serious? - Kendall frowned in confusion, with no answer to what her brother meant by that. After all, why would he lie about that?
Roman rubbed his face, as if he needed a moment to reorganize his thoughts.
- Man, I hate being the bearer of the bad news, but... he wasn't talking about Jess.
Kendall kept not understanding, already getting impatient.
- What the fuck do you mean by that?
Roman lowered his voice even more, but the tone carried all the drama that only he knew how to apply.
- He was talking about your wife, Ken.
Kendall's face hardened, the laughter disappeared immediately.
- What?
- Do you remember that day at Waystar? He saw her passing by and, fuck, I swear, the guy almost drooled on the glass of my living room. It was so uncomfortable that I had to invent something on the spot.
- And what did you say, Roman? - Kendall asked slowly, her eyes narrowed.
Roman raised his hands, half defensive, half cynical.
- I said she was your assistant, okay? I thought you were helping. The guy was literally looking at her as if it were dessert.
Kendall ran her hand over her face, taking a deep breath, as if she wanted to punch a wall.
- Did you say she was my assistant?
- Yes, because Lukas was one step away from asking for her number. You know how he is. I thought I was playing fair for you. I thought that, because I was an assistant, he would lose interest, I don't know.
Kendall closed her eyes for a moment, as if she was counting to ten.
- And now he thinks he can talk to me about it as if it were a trophy he wants to conquer?
Roman shrugged, casting an almost apologetic look.
- Welcome to the world of Lukas Matsson. He's a cretin with an ego the size of fucking Norway.
Roman patted Kendall's shoulder before walking away, but Kendall stood still for a moment, looking at the floor, clearly trying to decide what her next step would be.
The worst was not only Matsson's behavior, but what it meant. It was a constant reminder that he was, of his own free will, about to deliver everything: Waystar, ATN, the legacy that his family carried, no matter how sick it was.
Kendall tried to focus on work for the rest of the day, but it was impossible to ignore. Whenever Matsson made a comment that seemed on the verge of something inappropriate, Roman exchanged tense glances with Kendall, as if he was expecting an explosion at any moment.
And, of course, there was the ATN.
Kendall knew that selling Waystar was already a complicated decision, but including ATN in the package? That was simply handing over all the weapons to the enemy. With the presidential elections coming, the ATN was more than a tool; it was a weapon of influence on a large scale. Leaving that in Matsson's hands was giving him a power that not even Logan would have dared to deliver.
___________________________
That same night, Kendall finally consolidated his decision. He knew that Shiv would never support him in this plan, so he went straight to what really mattered: convincing Roman. Manipulating her brother, twisting the arguments until they made sense to both of them, was something Kendall did with the skill of someone who had spent his whole life watching Logan. And, like Logan, he felt no remorse for leaving Shiv out. She was brilliant, but also mercilessly practical, and at this moment, Kendall needed something more emotional, something that only Roman could offer.
The next day, the morning was tense, but Kendall barely seemed to notice. He maintained his professional posture, and when the right time came, he set up the scene. During the meeting on a mountain trail, he pressured Matsson with insinuations about the fragility of GoJo's numbers and the potential increase in Waystar's value. It was a dangerous dance, but Kendall knew exactly where to step to make Matsson hesitate. The plan was moving slowly, but accurately.
At night, after dinner, Kendall was visibly closer to you. Throughout the day, he had left small gestures of proximity: his hand resting on the lower part of your back while you moved through the hall, one arm on the back of your chair. It was atypical for him, and you were surprised, but you didn't complain.
Already in the room, the dim light of the lamp next to the bed barely illuminated the room, but it was enough to highlight Kendall's tense expression as he closed the door behind him. He walked up to you slowly, his fingers running through his hair in an automatic gesture of frustration, before letting the weight of his body fall on the edge of the bed.
- Roman is with me - he said, without preamble, his gaze fixed on the floor. He tilted his head to you, his eyes softer, but still full of concern. - That's already something.
You frowned, closing the book you had in your hands and putting it aside.
- Okay, but what exactly are we talking about here?
He sighed, rubbing his face with both hands before turning completely to you. When he spoke, his voice was low, almost conspiratorial:
- I'm going to screw this deal. Make Matsson give up even before he gets to the council.
Your stomach jumped a little with the confidence in his voice, but you kept the expression neutral.
- And how do you intend to do that? - he asked, hesitantly.
- Force the bar. Inflate the numbers. Throwing enough shit on the table until he thinks it's not worth it.
You were silent for a moment, processing everything he had just said. It was risky, of course, but the part of you who knew the game well knew it wasn't impossible. Still, there was something in his tone, in his gestures, that suggested that he wanted more than just his approval.
- Ken... - you started, but he cut you off.
- And you? Do you have another idea? Because, honestly, I'm open to suggestions.
He hesitated. Of course there was something - the letter that no one else seemed to be thinking about. But it was risky. Not only for Kendall, but for you too.
- It's not exactly conventional - you started, carefully choosing the words. - But we've done things like this before.
He raised an eyebrow, a small smile thrown on his face.
- Okay, before your father passed away he kind of chose the next president, didn't he? Maybe... If you ensure that one of the candidates wins, but on the condition that the agreement is barred...
- Politics? - He laughed softly, more out of disbelief than humor. - Are you suggesting that I use ATN to create a political advantage and bar Matsson?
- And why not? The ATN takes care of him being elected, and everything is very simple: an election for favors to Waystar.
He didn't answer immediately. He was just looking at you, his eyes loaded with something difficult to decipher, as if he was evaluating not only the weight of your words, but you whole. Then, suddenly, a slow smile formed, that typical Kendall expression when an idea consumed him completely. Without warning, he leaned over and pressed his lips against yours almost desperately, as if you had just delivered the solution to all his problems.
- Damn, I fucking love you. - He murmured, his forehead touching yours while a small smile still hovered on his lips.
You couldn't avoid a laugh, half surprised, half enchanted, but full of the lightness that he seemed so desperate to feel.
At the same time, in Matsson's office, Shiv entered with a confidence almost identical to Kendall's, carrying on his shoulders the posture of someone who knew exactly what he was doing.
Shiv entered Lukas Matsson's office with calculated steps, like someone who knew the weight of his own presence. He was at the bar, absently fiddling with a bottle of whiskey, but turned around when he saw it. A provocative smile appeared almost immediately.
- Oh, Roy who really knows what he's doing. What an honor.
She ignored the sarcasm, approaching with the usual posture: absolute confidence. Shiv knew he loved a power game and wanted to make him confused about what piece she represented on that board.
- We need to talk, Lukas. Of course, my brother is... complicating things.
He poured himself a glass and offered her another one, which Shiv accepted without taking his eyes off him.
- Complicating? - He arched an eyebrow, leaning casually. - It's a polite way of saying that he's trying to fuck with the agreement.
- Well, considering the circumstances, it doesn't surprise me.
Matsson tilted his head, interested.
- Circumstances?
Shiv turned the liquid in the glass, taking his time to choose the words. She knew that the next move would be crucial.
- Before we go for this, I want something from you.
He laughed briefly, surprised by the audacity.
- Like what?
- A guarantee that, if I help you, my place in all this will be solid. No unexpected turnaround, no last-minute change of plans.
Lukas blinked, clearly intrigued.
- Are you serious?
- Always. - She took a sip of the whiskey. - You need someone who knows how to deal with things... and I need to know that, at the end of this, I won't be just a pawn.
Shiv observed his reaction with a subtle smile, as if he knew exactly the direction the conversation would take. She leaned back in the chair, keeping her eyes fixed on Lukas, while he still seemed to process her proposal. She had the feeling that he was beginning to realize the weight of his words, but still not enough to accept the offer without question.
- And what are you going to give me in return, then? - Lukas asked, more genuine now, as if the negotiation had begun.
She didn't hesitate.
- Kendall. - The word fell like a silent command, and she watched him, seeing the surprise twinkle in her eyes.
- Kendall? - He repeated, the disbelief evident in his voice.
- I want you to keep him in control. I'll help you deal with it, keep it more... tied to the agreement. But what I need is to know that my role in your structure will be clear and definitive. I'm not someone who submits to uncertainties.
Lukas was silent for a moment, watching her more intensely now. He realized that the conversation was not only about business, but about power and control. Shiv wasn't there to ask for favors, she was negotiating something much more valuable.
- And what do you think I need to know exactly? - Lukas asked, leaning forward. He seemed to want to better understand what was at stake, but something in the way he looked at her said that he was also considering the impact of this for himself.
- Something about Kendall, of course. But also about who he has next to him. You know, his wife is not just another woman in the equation. She's... strategic. Before being Kendall's wife, she already had influence, an influence that is not seen in the media, but that is very real. Politics, maybe. Real power, not this spotlight show you love. And, of course, she was always his right-hand man, helping him get where he got.
Matsson was silent, his expression changing as he assimilated Shiv's words. He tried to connect the pieces, and the surprise soon turned into a smile of recognition.
- I'll make sure Kendall doesn't destroy the agreement. I'll help you keep him on the right track. And in the end, you'll need someone like me to make sure everything goes as planned.
Lukas was silent for a moment, evaluating her, before giving a low laugh, full of understanding.
Lukas let out a short and incredulous laugh, his smile widening.
- Damn, you Roy really hate your own family, don't you? - He said, the sharp sarcasm, but his eyes shining with something darker, almost fascinated.
Shiv tilted his head slightly, an ironic smile touching his lips.
Without saying anything else, she deposited the empty glass on the table with a slight click, keeping her gaze fixed on him for a moment that seemed to last longer than necessary. So, he got up with the calculated grace of those who always know the next move and walked out of the room, leaving Lukas with the trail of his presence and the sound of his jumps echoing in the silent space.
After Shiv's departure, Lukas Matsson remained motionless for a few moments, his gaze fixed on the door she had closed behind him. A slow smile formed on his lips, but it wasn't just satisfaction - it was something deeper, almost voracious. You.
Kendall's wife.
Lukas got up from the couch and walked to the window, the whiskey glass turning in his hand. He stared at his reflection in the glass for a moment, his breathing a little heavier. There was something electric, a mixture of irritation, fascination and a barely disguised excitement.
With a quick movement, he took his cell phone in his pocket and typed his name. In seconds, the information appeared: the first photo showed you next to Kendall at an event, the haugty look, a perfect smile, but distant. He narrowed his eyes, analyzing every detail of the image.
He moved on to the next photo. You alone, greeting some big guy at a formal event. Impeccable posture, wearing power as if it were a second skin. The almost non-existent smile was just enough to comply with the protocol.
A wave of irritation passed through Lukas. How had your team let something so grotesque pass? They had done a thorough research on Kendall and all his surroundings, but they hadn't realized that the person next to him was more than a wife.
Another article caught his attention, and he clicked. Your maiden's last name. Political connections. Zero direct involvement with the media, but an evident reach in other circles of power. Lukas laughed dryly, almost incredulous. You didn't need Waystar to be relevant.
He found another photo. You in a tight dress, walking alone to an event. Every line of his body seemed designed to exude control and elegance. Lukas pressed his lips, his jaw contracting. How did Kendall get someone like that? The thought hit him hard, a mixture of mockery and indignation.
He rested his hand on the bar, the smile on his face now a mixture of contempt and challenge. Kendall, with all her flaws and insecurities, had conquered something that seemed so out of reach. Maybe that was luck. Or maybe it was you.
The heat of the whiskey burned his throat, but it was not enough to relieve the tension that grew in his body. Every detail about you was like a piece of a puzzle that he wanted to assemble. How could someone so strategic, so imposing, be next to someone as pathetic as Kendall?
Leaving his cell phone aside, Lukas leaned back at the window, his gaze fixed on the horizon. You weren't just a challenge.
_______________________________
A/N: Okay, I know we ran over some things here, but I just couldn't contain my obsession, sorry!! 🫠
masterlist
xoxo, bebe🫶🏼💕
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winniethewife · 11 months ago
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Dark Room, Corner Booth (Shiv x F! reader)
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Warning: smut under the cut, thigh riding, public, Alcohol consumption, reader wearing a skirt.
Words: 530
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It was dark in the club, which was the point. Shiv didn’t want anyone to see, he hadn’t exactly been in the best graces with Tusk lately and all he wanted was some peace and quiet with his girl. After they grab drinks Shiv takes her to the farthest darkest corner of the club, plopping down on the couch and dragging her down on his lap. She giggles, holding onto the collar of his leather jacket as he holds her hips.
“Pretty good spot huh?” He gives her that sweet smile, the one that gives her butterflies in her stomach and makes her heart skip a beat.
“It’s perfect.” She whispers as she runs her fingers over his slicked back hair affectionately. He practically purred at her touch. His dark eyes scan her, looking over her body as he grabs his drink taking a sip. They enjoy the music, the closeness. Once their empty glasses are set aside, Shiv returns his hands to her hips, pressing his thumbs into her flesh, loving the feeling of her under his fingertips. She situates herself on his thigh, grabbing at his jacket again to steady herself as she starts to move back, and forth, eyes half lidded with pleasure as she feels the friction through the damp fabric covering her needy cunt. Shiv looks up at her slightly surprised, they’ve never done anything like this, in public. He takes a glance over her shoulder to see that no one was even aware they were over there. He lets out a sigh of relief, he runs his hands up her back, pulling her closer as she rides his thigh, pressing his lips to her neck, leaving a trail of kisses along her sensitive skin, drawing soft moans from her lips.
“That’s it baby. Who do you belong to huh? Whose making you feel good?” Shiv softly growls in her ear.
“Y-you Shiv. F-fuck…it you, always you.” She whimpers, rubbing her clit on the rough texture of his jeans, soaking the fabric as she chases her high.
“Mmm, that’s right baby girl, I’m the one who makes you feel like this, no other man can make you feel this good right? Just me.” Shiv puts his hand on the back of her neck holding her in place before catching her lips in his, licking into her mouth as she whines in desperation. She keeps rocking her hips on his thigh, squeezing her thighs tight around his as she feels the knot in her stomach wind tighter and tighter. Shiv’s other hand on her ass, pulling at the tiny skirt she wore, feeling his own arousal pushing against his jean zipper. He groans into the kiss as he feels her wet juices seeping through his pants leg. He digs his nails into her ass guiding her back and forth, taking her further and further until, she felt the snap of the rope breaking, releasing her climax in hot waves along her body. Shiv swallowing her moans as she clung to him. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have her. Right then right there… where everyone could see, she was his, and He was hers. 
~
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Tag: @silver-night-m
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diana-foggy-master · 3 months ago
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ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴏʀ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢ ɪꜰ ᴜ sᴀᴠᴇ
ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ
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bowieandqueen11 · 2 years ago
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Kissing Roman Roy Would Include...
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Request: oh my god! your kendall roy kissing headcanons were adorable! would it be possible to get some for roman as well? i just know that man is touch starved and definitely had an awkward time kissing the reader early on in their relationship. obviously, you can choose to ignore but thank you!
Awww yes of course you can get some my love this man is 100% touch starved you’re so right <3
LADS OKAY I’M COMING BACK TO SAY THIS IS NEARLY 7K AND MY LONGEST FIC BY FAR LMAOO BABYGIRL CODED anyway comments are much appreciated because I am so tired lol ty ty ily all! :)
Warning: mentions of injuries/ blood, childhood abuse, and some swearing! Also MAJOR spoilers for Season 4!!
(I do not own Succession or its characters, all rights go to creators. Gif credit goes to @xihatiancai.)
☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°
We all really took one look at Roman Roy and went wet pathetic disgusting meow meow man I love you, and I really love and appreciate that for all of us. Because like... if not babygirl, why babygirl coded?
The first time you guys ‘kissed’, you were both around seven years old: on the tennis court, Shiv had sent a ball flying at Roman that had bent his hand backwards, and left quite a nasty gash of blood running down his arm. Instead of comforting the brother she had just bruised for the umpteenth time, the set of Roman crawling down to sit on the grass while cradling his arm just made her furious, and she went storming off towards the kitchen for some chocolate milk to cool down. You had been watching from the doubles side line, dropping your own racket as soon as Roman began to snivel, squeezing his skin back together and wincing as warm blood gushed out onto the grass. You run over to kneel in front of him, the harsh rays of light blushing across your head like a halo as you grab onto his elbow. You press the back of your shirt against it, hoping it will do until a nurse or one of the waiters comes running out with a first aid kit; as you glance up, the furious face of his father comes pacing past the balcony doors, and so you turn Roman’s head to look at you instead, praying that he won’t spot him. It will only make him whine more. It surprises you when he curses curtly instead at the feel of your fingers pressing down hard against his wound, but when you mumble an apology he finally stops scowling down at the ground and looks up: it’s as if he’s seeing you properly for the first time. His eyes light up as you gently lean down and press a kiss against the bloodstains; just the slightest hint of pressure, and tingling warmth of your your lips is enough to send a flourish through his body and make Roman Roy feel nourished. No longer withered, no longer left to rot. Roman gazes up at you: past the dappled sunlight, past the dotted clouds, past the earth and skies and heavens, and past it all he sees you. 
You’re the first and last person he’s ever wanted to kiss. Like craving poison, he knows it will pass through and destroy him if he allows himself to indulge. But by god, if it wouldn’t taste so sweet as it pours down his throat and overwhelms every dilapidated part of his body.
The first time he works up the nerves to kiss you back, is in one of the pool storage huts just past the outer boundaries of his father’s estate. Shiv had finally convinced her father to allow her out into the city to go shopping for some new suits, and Ken had been chained into a business meeting to take notes for Logan, so Roman had been left all alone to wander around the ostentatious shadows and lonely halls of the house he hated to call home. Feeling trapped, like he couldn’t breathe, he wanders towards the ‘safe space’ the two of you had created a couple of years ago: a small nook you and Roman had spent the day nestling out (and nearly breaking his arm shoving unused surfboards and pool cleaning chemical boxes) in the dim, and slightly damp room. Finally feeling at home as he stepped into the mildew-steeped scent cloud that enveloped the square box stuffed full of things his father had wanted out of his sight, his heart is allieved to spot you already there. You don’t even have to look up from your book as he comes dawdling towards you like a puppy afraid it’s about to be kicked. When you open your arm up to him willingly, the true him comes leaping forth: like a darting hummingbird, he comes flying  into your side, nestling his chin on the hard part of your shoulder so he can scan the words lazily past your head. After about half an hour of him gripping onto your shirt, as sweet and softly as infant spring, he glances up towards your face and an overwhelming urge overtakes him. Before he can stop himself, before he can make sense of his decision, before he can chide himself for his weakness, he lifts his head up and presses his lips firmly, if a little harshly, against the side of your cheek. Your book crashes to the floor with a thunderous slap, lifting a small cloud of dust as you raise your fingers to the wet spot in surprise. He immediately shuffles backwards at the noise, before making an awkward, fumbling excuse and running out the door.
He never brings it up again, but whenever you’re round at the Roy residence after that you can feel the intensity of his eyes land on you far more often. He blinks away and scratches the back of his neck nonchalantly whenever you catch him, or sometimes scrunches his nose up and starts biting the edges of his fingernails if he’s really nervous. But the love is there. He just can’t say it yet.
Once, when you were the only person in the house besides Connor and Logan, you were asked by the second-born eldest son to help him find Romie. With a concerned sigh, Connor wanders off to check behind the bathroom door off the living room, his lips forming a tight line as he disappears off down the corridor. Turns out, Logan had found out that Roman had been the one to spill his ice cream cone in the car on the way back from his fencing lesson, and Roman had run off cursing and crying when he heard the roar reverberate out from his father’s office at the news. You know where he is, instinctively. Of course you do: you don’t even need to think as your feet guide you towards his bedroom, and your body shrinks down to scoot under the bed and lie on the pristinely clean floorboards. He’s hiding behind the tendril weeds of his fear, making himself as small a target as possible as he balls himself up, trembling like heavy branches when lanced with frost. From behind his raised elbows that protect his face, he’s sniffling, his feet leaving the ground every few seconds from how harshly they shake. You lie down carefully on your side beside him, so hyperaware of any part of yourself brushing against him, in case the wounded creature decides to bolt. Thankfully, he comes sliding towards you, only stopping when your chest does the job for him; being as physically close as he can get to you, he huddles into your embrace while you stroke back the few curls by his ear. Once you’ve finally managed to choke back your own tears, your lips latch onto the spot of skin by the lobe of his ear, eyes closing and ticking his skin. He warbles against you, shivering, and the kiss just makes him whine more harrowingly against your chest.
Romie’s always around you. Always. He finds it difficult to actually be physically intimate, so it says quite plainly (even if you can’t understand it yet) that you’re the love of his life when he comes barrelling down the front stairs of the veranda and straight into your hug whenever your first foot falls onto the estate. It also means that during family dinners, when he’s finally mastering the skill of slouching back in his wishbone chair and tuning out all the horrible and spiteful things wrapped up in faux sincerity his family are saying about each other, he turns instead to kick your feet under the table. The brush of his ankle against your shoe is soon followed by the heavy pressure of his fingers reaching over onto your lap and entangling with your own. When the two of you are finally excused, you decide not to go back inside straight away. Instead, the two of you go for a dander around some of the verdant fields around the edges of the property: a few green patches here there that are filled with the scent of honeysuckle and freshly blooming rainbows splattered amongst the dirt. You decide to stop and sit for a while on the edge of a cobbled stone wall, laughing as Roman nearly falls off the uneven patch as he settles down beside you. He shrugs you off with a wave of his hand, but he’s smiling as you pluck a daisy from between the blades and tuck it behind his ear. For a while, the two of you just exist: watching the sunset brew violet and lilac gleams across your eyeline, talking shite and poking fun at each other, until Roman shyly takes a break from his rapid talking to blink slowly. He leans his torso forward, and after a bashful burn flickers over his cheeks, he squeezes his eyes shut and plants a wet kiss against your cheek, just like he had done all those years before.
He climbs into your room later that night, and you nearly hit him with a baseball bat when you come strolling out of your bathroom to see a teenager laying splayed out in a heap on your rug, a few pages of your homework flying over your desk from where he had banged his knee and tripped. With a lopsided grin, he decides to just stay lying there (once you had convinced him that you weren’t going to actually hit him). Sometimes Roman just likes to watch what you’re doing: to observe as an outsider what normality, what contentment should and could feel like. As you sit by your lamp and finish off your english essay for the next morning, you notice with furrowed eyebrows that Roman is moochier than normal tonight: he keeps squirming, rolling about and whining as if he’s debating something in his mind. That’s why when he’s gripping onto the ivy and finally climbing back down into the darkness later that night, you grab onto the collar of his sherpa jacket and heave him up through the air like a flustered bird towards you. After his initial surprise at the feeling of you pounding your lips against his own, he melts into you: clumsily, messily, desperately, but with one hand gripping so hard onto your window frame that he splinters the wood. His top lip refuses to let you go: capturing onto your bottom lip over and over and over again, the sweet taste of cherry flooding your senses as you bite down on the lip forcing its way into your mouth. When he pulls away, he looks so uncharacteristically serious for a moment as he hovers a few inches away from your face. His eyes never break from your lips, as if he he looks away the miracle he’s been graced with might fly away and he’ll be left with the hellish nightmare of his normal reality. But it doesn’t, and so you let him go.
He burns a crimson red and starts muttering incoherently as his feet work their way back down the garden lattice, but he’s got this giddy smile and a spring in his swishing walk the whole way home.
I mean, like, of course Connor invited you on the camping trip. And man, I mean the tension that had been expanding between you and Roman over the last few years was becoming more and more obvious to his brothers, and it pierced Roman’s heart with a stroke of fear when he realised it was to him as well. Connor’s little fishing expedition by the river turned out a little differently than he expected: instead of a placid moment between family, learning and teaching new skills together and bonding over one activity they could all share in, it was more of a ‘watch little gremlin Roman flirt obnoxiously with Y/n and, once again, ignore everyone else’ fest. Kendall sat on the shore, itchy against the reeds of grass and sighing every time he looked down at his watch. Connor was still having fun, though, from where he was wading his brand new, and never worn again wellies into the shallow end of the creek. It was just that every now and then he would have to trip over his fishing line and scoot to the right to avoid large splashes of weedy water landing on him; Roman had decided a much better use of his time was to try and pull up handful of mud and chase you around the river side with it. Your squeals, as you ran around the tamarack trees and peered around the sides like a meerkat, could be heard from the campsite. So, too, could Roman’s hyena laugh as he went laughing around the bend after you, and Connor had to spend half the night ignoring your shared snickers as he apologies to camper after camper. 
I don’t even know how, but somehow the two of you managed to convince Connor that it was a great idea for you and Roman to share a tent. Thanks to Kendall’s pointed warning for the two of you to behave and ‘not embarrass the family name anymore’, you were both surprisingly well behaved during the night. Mainly due to the fact that before you fell asleep, you leant over and left a chaste kiss against Roman’s cold forehead, before turning onto your side facing him and wishing him a goodnight. He wiggled down into his sleeping bag like a little worm as the electricity from your touch spread down like firebolts through his body. That man did not sleep one wink that night. Not one. Instead he rolled onto his left side, and chose to spend his time contemplating you: taking you in. The milky buzz of twilight flooded through the loose zip, the chirp of bouncing crickets on the darkened rocks outside match the intense thudding of his heart. Fumbling his fingers up so they rested underneath the side of his jaw, he made himself comfortable as he observed the way your chest rose and fall: the way your nose crinkled up in disgust when you were in the throes of a weird dream, the way your mouth mushed as you turned more into the stony ground. How much he loved you. How happy he could be if he could just summon the bravery to tell you. How fucked he was. How, if he did, his father would immediately utilise it, weaponize his love against him.
Roman wasn’t stupid, but he was. He didn’t know if he could find a way to escape this cage. Deep in his heart, he knew there was no key to this dog kennel, to this bird cage, to this leash. But he lay there, still, dreaming of freedom.
You get invited along on their family holidays a lot, mainly because Logan spends his whole time on phone calls and not mentally being present so he doesn’t really notice you’re there. If you and Roman aren’t spending the afternoons sitting together on a sun lounger, reading aloud softly to him by the pool side, it’s spent actually in the pool. A freshly seventeen year old Roman had seemed nervous, besides the usual annoyance at having to wear nothing but swimming shorts: shaken all day; when you touch his pinkie finger and grip onto it, silently asking him with your stern expression if you were okay, only the most miniscule of grins could cross his face in response. He still seemed unsettled in the water, besides the fact that Shiv’s foot nearly thwacked him up the face as she and Kendall wrestled each other under the water, both unrelenting in their accusation that the other had lost their splashing match. While you watched on in horrified curiosity, you nearly jumped when you felt Roman softly touch your elbow and lead you away from the affray. You think he’s trying to guide you towards the Jacuzzis as you bob across the water, or perhaps back to his room to escape the antics of his family. Instead, Roman leads you further into the deep end for a moment; after a sharp turn right, you’re surrounded by a small well, a shallow area just out of sight of the main swimming area. The imposing walls loom over your head as you take a perched seat on the brick bench that runs around the semi-circle, and Roman’s breath trembles as he follows suit, sitting maddingly close to you. You open your mouth to ask him what’s going on, but before you can get a squeak out he’s lunged at you, fervently enough to make you nearly bite your tongue. It’s not super romantic, and it’s incredibly clumsy as an inexperienced Roman Roy mashes his lips against your bottom one until he can feel his teeth clash against yours. You can taste a touch of pineapple from the inside of his mouth as he sloppily raises his cupid’s bow, and soon after the tang of chlorine as he falls too far forward and sends you both tumbling backwards into the water. But when you come back up for air, heaving him up by his underarms and staring dumbstruck at him as he pants heavily and tries to look anywhere else, you burst out giggling. Roman’s smile grows brightly enough to blight the sun as he looks incredulously at you, the laughter only stopping short on his lips when he catches the squinting look of his sister watching the two of you from the boundary edge.
It’s the first and last time Roman Roy kisses you for a while, terrified that one of his siblings will go squealing to daddy and he’ll take you away from him. And then, suddenly, the two of you have grown up. Roman’s still stuck to you like glue, but the repression festers away in his stomach until he feels as if some kind of scaly tooth monster is gnawing away at his insides. He feels the leather tighten around his neck whenever he’s standing like an affronted ostrich in that office with his father, his master, his demise, his ghost, him. 
So, Roman starts to try and avoid you whenever he’s at Waystar, worried that the grief that never seems to leave his mind will strangle you if he lets you in. Terrified that his father will die, but also that his father will never die. That this is just another cage. Eventually, after weeks of him turning on his heels with a manic jolt and running out of every board room he spots you in: after months of the child dressed up as a man putting his phone to his ear and having nonsensical phone calls every time he passes you in the corridors, you manage to nab him when he’s walking out of the break room. Even though a stuttering cousin Greg thinks you’re trying to kidnap him when you grab Roman by the collar and start dragging him to the elevator, you refuse to let go until Greg’s waving hand is firmly shut behind the metal sheets. You let go, and he fumbles backwards onto the hand-rail that runs around the small rectangle with a bemused ‘what the actual fuck’, but you just cross your arms and stare at him, refusing to talk first. 
Your austere façade quickly drops, and you’re quick to slam your first into the emergency button on the panel, gripping onto Roman’s sleeve as the elevator lurches to a stop between the twenty-second and twenty-third floors. A kind of acceptance has washed over Roman, some kind of known and familiar claustrophobia from having spent his whole life locked up, his whole life thrown about sets in. He picks at his fingernails as his eyes dart about, wild and brutal and crushing as he looks around for an escape route. It’s only when you put a hand on his shoulder and draw him in for a hug that he breaks down; he squats down so the two of you are resting a few inches off the floor, his face buried just atop of your heart as he shakes and he cries and he allows himself the security to just crumble. To melt down. To kick his feet and hope his father feels the wring of the shackles against his own ankles. He hopes for the first time in his life, as you stroke the back of his head and shush him comfortingly, that they hurt him. 
Something changes between the two of you that day. You’re kinder to each other, and slowly to yourselves. It’s not outspoken, or rushed, or ravenous, but it begins to grow and grow and grow until it’s not only confusion and anguish that lies at the pit of Roman’s rotting core.
It starts with him becoming more comfortable showing affection to you around his family. Like you sitting on Roman’s lap at Shiv’s wedding reception, not listening to the speeches but trying to hide your giggles in Roman’s palms as he’s busy trying to take roses out of the centre piece and pin them through your hair. Or his full weight against you during the professional photos out on the balcony, and not even Shiv flicking her brother or Tom waving his hand at Roman to try and get him to behave could stop him from leaning backwards and planting a kiss underneath your jawline once the man said he was taking the final photograph. The two of you go out into the gardens later that night, trying to escape the ear-hammering loud beats of the D.J., and to try and make an early escape from the growing fight that seemed to be coming between Tom and Shiv’s old work acquaintance. With two beers and slightly tipsy heads, you sit down and talk on the dew-ridden grass, shoulders swaying against the other’s in time with the falling pine leaves. You felt like children again, and against the smouldering clash of fireworks that brandished the sky in bursts of red and gold, you both felt undying as well. He kisses you then, his hand reaching up to brush against the side of your cheek, his bottom lip teasingly tugging at your bottom lip and making you swat him away with a laugh. As you take his hand in your own and press a promise filled kiss against his middle knuckle, he hopes that one day he’ll be able to kiss you at your own wedding.
When you know he’s having a rough day at work, you like to try and sneak into his office and wrap your arm around his stomach, peppering kisses up and down his spine. Although he tries to shake you off like a startled starling at first, when he realises that you also managed to close the blinds on your way in without him noticing, he quickly relinquishes himself onto your barrage of adoration. He becomes all whiny, and soft, and needy, and all the things he’ll never allow himself to be outside of the security blanket of this closed off room. Although he still isn’t comfortable with anything too sexual, you won’t find him complaining as he wrestles you to the sofa. Once you’ve had the wind knocked out of your lungs, and Roman’s satisfied with how fully you’re splayed out on your back before him, he’ll go scuttling over to the end of the sofa and kneel down beside it. With a mischievous glimmer in his eye, he’ll swish his hips from side to side and come crawling up the sides of his body like a wolf slinking towards its dinner. Then he attacks: his tongue heavy and slick as he draws a hickey out just under the pulse point on your neck, pressing him firmly against you if you try to squirm away, chiding you with a warning. When it becomes too much, he lets you grip him up by his tie and walk him backwards until his thighs hit his desk. He jumps up to perch on it, and you stand between his legs as they tighten around you. You’re slow and careful as you loosen the material between your fingers, opening the first button of his shirt, and only the first so he doesn’t become too uncomfortable, with a satisfying loud pop. He whimpers as you lean over to scrape your teeth against the exposed skin, working your way up until your lips are tantalisingly hovering over the stubble on his jaw. He can feel your breath, hot and unsteady as it pants against him, but he still can’t stop the shiver that racks through him as he takes your hand and guides them under his shirt. With your hands firmly planted against his abdomen, you look at him quizzically, worried, but he just keeps his fingers on top of your own and answers you by sweetly pressing his top lip over his own. Just once, he wanted to feel safe, to feel okay with the love of his life touching his body.
The two of you have this game where you try to steal kisses from each other during the most inappropriate and annoying times possible. Oh, Shiv’s trying to talk to you in her kitchen about how her trip to England went? Roman barges in between the two of you, nearly making Shiv chop her thumb off, just so he can interrupt his sister by smirking against your mouth. Kendall wants to run through a presentation the two of them have to give the next morning? You’re grabbing onto Roman’s head as you run through the office, nearly giving him a heart attack as he scrambles backwards and allows you to drop his head back onto the cushion. With a full plant landing on his already pliant lips, Kendall’s left with a fed-up ‘hey’, yet unsurprised look of disappointment on his face as you run off back to your own desk.
When his father called Romie a moron in Prague, the look of desolation that crossed through his teary eyes was enough to make an angel weep. But it broke you even more when he pattered out of the dining area, walking shoulder to shoulder with you, but not saying anything. He was just staring down at his hands as if they were blotted: stained with specks of blood, and he would have to spend another sleepless night scrubbing them out of his skin. It wasn’t the first time he heard it, but it was the first time you were there to hear it too, and you weren’t going to let him get comfortable wallowing in that fearful acceptance. You grip onto his shoulder and steer him away from the milling crowd of sheep, stuffing him into a bathroom stall of the east wing of the hotel. Crowded together, Roman’s hamstring bumps against the porcelain as the two of you scoot about until you’re standing facing each other as best as you could. He looks at you, bleary eyed, and you look at him, bleary eyed. He breaks. Choking, gasping, breathless sobs, drowning in his misery. He grabs onto your shirt, clawing into the meat of your shoulders as if he’ll sink if he lets go. He keeps babbling through bubbles of spit about how he just wants to make his father proud, how he wants to be just like him, how he wants to prove that he can rule all this too. How he can never replace him. But he can. He wants it all to burn, but he wants to stand on the ruins and be the one to plant the foundations again. To make a better world, in honour of his father: in honour of the god of war that rages within his head. You press quick kisses on his sweaty forehead whenever you can, doing your best to dodge the quick turns of his head and wiping away the trails of tears with your thumb. All you can do in that moment, as you press your lips against the side of his ear and whisper it to the most intimate, lost parts of himself, is to let him know that you’re proud of him, no matter what happens next. You always have been, and even the ghost of Logan that possess Roman can’t stop that.
The sloppy kisses he gives you the next morning omg. When the two of you are sitting on your bedroom steps, and you’re biting your bottom lip in concentration as you try to do up the buttons of his dress shirt and make him look presentable in front of his family. Like a feral dog, he uses all of his leftover energy trying to nip and bite your fingertips, catching them on his tongue and pursing them against the roof of his mouth whenever he can.
You cannot convince me that Roman isn’t a jealous bitch. Like at Kendall’s fortieth birthday party, when he finally gives up trying to get up into his special little secret treehouse club, and Shiv has left him to go ham on the dance floor instead. You finally manage to convince him into relaxing for a fricking minute, making him join you at the bar. If someone tries to grab your waist, though, or butt into your conversation while the two of you are hyena giggling and seeing who can spurt more beer into the other’s face, Roman will full on goad them into fighting him. I mean, chest puffed out, crazed look in his face, hands up by his side until they send a weak shove in their general direction. It only ends when Roman either: near topples you to press a bracing kiss against your lips, or you dragging him off and having to hold him through the brackets of his arms. In the corner of the room, over by the sheets of warbling fire that seems to be coming from a central room, you stand behind his feet and wrap your arms up his chest. You can feel the fury roll off him, allowing him a moment to blow off the steam, until his head finally falls like putty and begins to synchronise his breathing to yours again after you hold your lips against the nape of his neck.
The kisses when he comes back after being held hostage (I am doing this so out of order apologies) omg??? He clambers sombrely to sit beside you on the deck of the boat, looking so out of place and serious as he leans back against the cushions. His siblings make fun of him, and tease him, and although he realises it’s harmless and he’ll see it as a key bonding moment a couple of years down the line, in the inside the typical Roy storm is brewing. He can’t say anything: just hides behind the jokes and snide comments so the words don’t choke him. You just feel his weight fall against yours little by little, until his hand reaches out and takes your own so tightly you know it’s going to bruise. The muscle in his jaw tightens and he squeezes his eye shut in an enduring pain at the sight of his father’s helicopter coming in to land. So, for that kind second before his life comes crashing back down around him again and he has to revert back, to hide behind the brick wall again, you take him over to the railings. It’s just the two of you, the warm sea salt stinging against your grimacing faces, and the ungodly sight of a near-naked Cousin Greg lying stretched out beside the slide below you. After a few goes, you manage to unlatch his claws from the white metal and replace them with your soothing palm, rubbing semi-circles against the back of his hand. You’re here. You’re here, with him. You’re not going to let him go it alone again, if he wants.
And he does. He could cry, he so desperately does. Some of the tension falls from his shoulders as he raises your joint hands to his lips and kisses them, gracing over every inch of skin his mouth can latch onto. 
You both know, in that moment, that it’s enough. It’s a promise. You’ll stick together, no matter what. You’ll love each other through everything, no matter what. You’ll stay around, no matter what or who he becomes.
Which brings me to... kissing him when you find out about the passing of his father. Standing on that boat, on the most joyous of occasions, feeling as if the whole world is shattering around you. Feeling miserable at the knowledge that deep down, some part of you is overjoyed by the news. Feeling even more downtrodden to realise, as the streaky eyes and thousand-stare faces of the Roy siblings flash back and forth in your line of sight as they pass the phone to each other, that Logan will never really be gone. They’re talking to his lifeless, empty shell through the speakers, but it doesn’t matter, because he’s here in this room. He’s staring through their eyes. Talking in their quivering, harsh voices. Pounding through their feet. Tearing them apart as they try to cling onto each other. In their accusations that burst through their mouths innately. In the ordered instructions hurled out to keep business running smoothly. Hidden between the cracks of their voices as they sharpen their words and seethe them out between clenched teeth when the slightest chance of Logan even being dead is raised. He’s here, right now, as you let go of the death grip Kendall and Shiv have on both of your hands and catch sight of Roman rocking backwards and forth on the floor.
Giving a final squeeze of apology to Connor’s arm, you take Roman out of the room before he combusts. The whole air seems to be chilled: still, like something’s lurking unspoken between the threads of air. Like you’re leading Roman through the cold remains of a morgue. He wanders around for a minute, not even hearing the click of the door as you close it behind you. Not even crying. Not even speaking. For the first time in his life, he looks so much like his father. Too much. It scares you. Until eventually he just closes his eyes and trods over to the wall, thumping his forehead down on the cool metal until it burns. He holds his hand out to you, cufflinks gleaming like the edge of a knife past the ceiling lights, as if he’s offering a contract out to you. Apprehensively, your tentative hand creeps out and places itself gingerly on top of his own. He takes it, his dry lips latching onto you until the bridge of his nose is resting now upon your hand. The deal is done.
When you get back to your apartment though, and Romie finds out that Matsson wants him to fly out and meet him in Norway... that’s when Roman gets weird. Devastated. Freaks out. Grieves. You come out from your shower, wearing one of his suit shirts as your pyjama top, and he doesn’t even give a whistle of appreciation. Instead he’s crumpled on the floor by the canopy of your bed, cradling his knees to his chest, swearing into his kneecaps furiously. But you - you, oh god, you’re the only thing that can stop him from being swallowed up by Logan’s fury. You tilt his chin up during a tangled rush of expletives I don’t dare to copy down here, a scowl setting itself into his face like stone. It begins to soften when he realises you’re touching him, when he can feel the scrape of your nail around his jugular. You do your best to warble an unconvincing smile as you turn his head to the side, so you can better wipe your bottom lip against the edge of his throbbing mouth. You mould yourself to him, working at his pace as he winces at first, before slowly falling more and more easily into your grip. His hands loosen from his arms and fall onto your triceps as he deliriously tries to come back to himself through searching through the velvety warmness of your mouth: by swiping against your tongue and choking back his grievances as you pant into his open, waiting mouth.
You wake him up the next day with a fond kiss against the tip of his nose, and for the first time in a long while he smiles before he wakes fully up. The morning light cradles his bleary face as he sleepily runs a few fingers over the edge of your cheek, before cradling himself into your side again. He feels safe, weary, anguished, loved enough to fall asleep again, after pressing a few gentle licks behind your earlobes to try and hear you laugh again. Even through it all, his main concern is you. 
You trace his features while he restlessly dreams, although he squirms from time to time and alludes you to the fact that he’s secretly awake. A kiss here, between the junctions of wrinkles on his furrowed forehead. A kiss there, on the patchy stubble just underneath his left ear. A few there on the dark circles underneath his eyes, until you’re balancing over him and holding yourself up by the hands splayed over his pillow. He just needs to be reminded he’s beautiful from time to time. That he’s perfect. That he doesn’t need to try and be someone else. To encapsulate his father. 
But also like, Roman fucking hates Matsson. The way he looks at you during the whole field trip, like a hunter about to swallow its prey whole. Although the continuous comments about his family, and the two new Co-Ceo’s, and the legacy of his father make him burn down to the pit of his stomach with a white hot fury, he can deal with them if he would just leave you the fuck alone. He doesn’t take kindly to anyone but him looking at his soulmate with such adoration and lust in their eyes, so if that overgrown yeti gives you the up and down check out one more time he might actually just deck him in the middle of the retreat. He bites down on his tongue so harshly that his taste buds begin to bubble and prickle with blood, deciding it best to storm off and collect his thoughts before he lashes out and does something he can’t take back. You finally manage to track him down a little way off the beaten track, winding your way over some cobbled steps to find a branched alcove with nothing but a bench and a breath taking view of the gushing river down below. He’s hunched over with his fingers knotted over his knees, his lips so tightly drawn together that at first you don’t even spot the droplets of blood until he turns with a raised eye to look at you.
He knows it’s not your fault, so there’s no convincing or apologies when you join him. Just Roman finally getting all of that pent up sorrow and distress out. After an awkward moment of bouncing your foot up and down, you decide your best course of action is to just open your arm up to him again, like you used to do when you were children. At first he raises a confused eyebrow, before the realisation dawns over his face, and his features crumble. His lips purse, his throat bobbing as he heaves the tears back down, but he can’t stop his lips from trembling as he falls into your side. That kiss was the sweetest, as he leans his chin familiarly against your shoulder and bumps noses with your own. He frowns, sobbing at the knowledge that he can kiss you, finally, in the way he’s been yearning for all his life, and yet it all feels so wrong. So upside down. So far away from what he had dreaming. The freedom feels like a tether, and yet he juts his chin out and latches placidly onto your bottom lip anyway, the tears trickling down and falling between your mouths. 
It’s an act of defiance. A key sliding into the lock. He still can’t say it, but he won’t allow himself to smother the feeling anymore. The first sip of poison gliding down his throat, and Roman prays as he presses his forehead tearfully against your own, that it would kill the Logan part of him first.
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