#shitqost

[aquatic-anomaly]

i love making bumd shitqosts that are funny exclusively to me!

[realitv]

  WELCOME BACK TO MONDAYS WITH █████: TODAY WE’VE BROUGHT ONE OF THE HOTTEST NAMES OF THE MOMENT ON BOARD! Studio lights sizzling; not an ounce of CAKE FACE / #NO FILTER foundation sliding off of silicone skin and they’ve got a smile that belongs on GOOD MORNING, AMERICA (!); red, red lips peeled back and it doesn’t quite fit; almost too big for bones and flesh. Too tight. Acrylics gleaming in the strange light and there is a hunger in that smile; something raw and reel and bleeding; something RATED R. A strange brand of familiarity in that grin; something a nation had grown up with, accepted as part of their daily, lasting routines. HEY, VIEWERS! I KNOW YOU. I WATCHED YOU ALL GROW. I’ve given you all so much, and all I’ve ever asked of you for it all was your time. Minutes ticking away into years; lines and greys and suddenly, haven’t you just wasted your golden years in front of me? WORSHIP ME.    “We at the network rarely listen to change dot org petitions.” A twitch. Their skin tugs unpleasantly tight across their mainframe; straining under the tension and the corners of their over-lined lips crack. Split. WE’RE SORRY, BUT AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION IS MANDATORY. THOSE WHO REFUSE TO ENGAGE WILL BE DISPOSED OF. Cameras pan; bring The Harlequin into sharp focus; all 1080P and 4K HD for the livestream, plasma screen eyes backlit and rows upon rows of blank televisions screens lie in their wake. Watching, waiting. YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE. Heads rising in perfect sync; glazed over-eyes and screen rotted brains, thumbs still poised on smart phones and glass and the audience turns, hundreds of eyes resting upon another STATION HIJACKER. Your attention, please. We are returning this broadcast to its original network. Silence. No static, no microphone feedback; something weighted and pressing and real between them and when the Mass Media’s chest rises with artificial breath, the studio rattles with a sigh. “I find giving in to petty demands just clogs up my satellites, and well, honey, you understand why I can’t have that, don’t you?” CUE AUDIENCE LAUGHTER: a low rumble through narrow aisles and cramped seats rising to a hellish chorus. HA HA! HA HA! ISN’T THIS JUST PEACHY, VIEWERS? The smile melts off, the laughter dies down. Somewhere, a teleprompter flashes: Hold for applause!    They’re a picture perfect slice of the AMERICAN DREAM: bleach blonde, artificial hair chemically fried and held in place with six cans of hairspray; a 401K and an RRSP (whatever the fuck those were) tied up neatly in stocks and bonds. THEN AND NOW: nostalgia, viewers, is a trap. We’ve been cashing in on it and the market is not yet exhausted by it. THEN IS NOW, VIEWERS! ISN’T THAT NIFTY? BUY YOUR REMASTERED DVD COLLECTIONS NOW FOR ONLY THREE SMALL PAYMENTS OF 49.99 -- PLUS TAX. CALL NOW AT 1-800-DOLLAR SIGNS. Spotlight, please! There will be no commercial breaks this time. “Nostalgia may be profitable these days, but even I have to set my limits.” LED, energy efficient gaze panning; resting over The Harlequin’s shoulder and upon the ever updating teleprompter; red, red lips glossing over lines that were not fit for a live studio audience. I remember holding your predecessor in my arms as I did all my other children; and when they grew too much, I did what all parents must do: and I took great joy in it. NO CENSORSHIP ON A LIVE PRODUCTION! Eyes darting back; glassy stare pervasive; a veritable searchlight cutting through smoke and mirrors and Hollywood bullshit. I would know, viewers. I helped create it. “--You know they will tire of doom and gloom, don’t you? They did with dear, darling little Dada, and look what happened to them.” Crunch. 

  Laughter rumbles again; slightly unsure and off kilter within the cramped space and when they smile once more, it’s a horrific benediction. Devoid of joy, filled with something close to STARVATION. Thank you, thank you! Head tilting; hair shifting with an unpleasant stiffness and they slowly, carefully stretch their legs; no longer tight and curled into their chair. Bigger, louder, better -- NOW IN HIGH, HIGH DEFINITION! Commanding space, demanding it -- funny how you can control a room without really being in it, huh? “I’m not opposed to negativity, honey. Sometimes everyone finds all that bubble gum goo goo stuff too sweet and sugary, and I think that’s just fine. Just dandy, really. But give them too much of a good thing? And oh, they’ll get sick of it.” AND WHEN YOU DO, VIEWERS, I WILL BE WAITING.    Chair creeeeeaaaaks, a whisper of poly-blend silk and they rest their elbows against their knees; hands hanging limply between and the audience cranes their necks to look, phones still clutched tightly in their hands and that smile grows, flexes; skin buckling beneath it - PAUSE AND HOLD FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT! I know what this needs. A beat of silence; dry tongue darting out to run along the edges and contours of sharp teeth and the skin splits, rocket fuel pooling against them and they swallow it back with a gasp of satisfaction. YOU HAVE AN IMAGE PROBLEM. No consistency, no message: aimless pieces trying to rebel and saying more than what they intended to. Disappointing: they’d never liked reruns. “One season. Contract renewal pending. Will that make you smile, honey?” 

&& @shitqost (x)

[00111110]

...  clean  code  is  the  backbone  of  a  smooth  running  operation,   the  kind  where  there’s  no  hitch  or  hiccup  between  the  [ERROR]  Mouth  twists  as  it  blares  its  alarm  and  normally,   with  lips  wrapped  around  vape    ;      a  numbing  concoction  of  burning  wires  and  transmission  fluids  with  a  dash  of  synthetic  frog  skin  that’d  sooner  turn  you  blue  and  sleeping  with  the  fishes  then  higher  then  that  bump  up  your  nose !   It  scents  the  room,  spills  from  his  mouth,     ❝          listen     up,     malware,     because     I’ll     say     this     once:     shut     the     fuck     up.   `      

> @shitqost     ...     sc

[eqoism]

not even as a crack pairing i legitimately ship akihiko with ritsu onodera

[realitv]

withoutmycoin replied to your post “thinkin abt how much i love miss @bclovd”

I NEED A LIST OF ALL THE MUST HAVE IN AG MUSES

hello and welcome to my incomplete list of ag muses (some are on holiday but i love them anyway and will follow them until the end of time) @asortofsensation, @hebelieves, @wednesdeus, @fqry, @czbog, @hmmertime, @deciptur, @vapae, @00111110, @godlyground, @lepracant, @shitqost, @beautygurv, @bclovd, @fuckstarz, @landgorged, @springreawakened, @waspeachy, @divues, @ljuuga, @sacredmotel, @rebelcodes, @newfngled i am probably missing some but these are my angels i love them all terribly with all my fucking HEART

[realitv]

You’re an amazing role player! If you get this it means that I think you’re one of the best that there is! You’re a wonderful human being and a remarkable person! Although you don’t have to, it’s nice to send this to other people that you think are great role players! Keep up the good work!!! ✨

oh why thank you sweetpea! i don’t usually send these around but i’m sending lots of love to @crowily, @deciptur, @00111110, @godlyground, @dinnerhost, @ciaosucker, @beautygurv, @shitqost / @shaebah, @synthmama, @travelledtime, @spidaeyaunt, @nezhnosts.

[realitv]

— answer these questions then tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better!

tagged by: @velvetipped thank u! tagging:  @beautygurv, @shitqost, @ciaosucker, @ineffablemum, @facetheft, @lostsvvord, @00111110 not 20 but I DONT CARE

name:  claire

nicknames:  claire bear, claire stop, claire no

zodiac: aries

height: 167 cm

time:   10:25 pm

favorite band / artist:   florence + the machine 

song stuck in my head:   line of sight by odesza.

last movie i saw:   does the 1996 recording of new york’s the merry widow count

last thing i googled: 'world’s finest chocolates’

other blogs:  @sanctamater and occasionally @wasmerry

why did i choose this username:   media just wants to show shadow their tits, 

following: REDACTED.

average amount of sleep:  5 - 8 hours.

what i’m wearing:  fuzzy pjs.

dream job:   don’t know. whatever makes me happy.

dream trip:  would love to go to cologne. 

favorite food:  P A S T A

play any instruments:  guitar, clarinet (ha ha) and my voice.

eye color:  brown. 

hair color:  brown but hey in the light it looks kinda red.

languages you speak: english, basic french (i can hold a slow conversation) and very little german.

most iconic song:   SHAKE IT BY METRO STATION

random fact:  i lost a jar of mayo once.

describe yourself as aesthetic things:  chaos.

[eqoism]

akihiko has very little understanding or respect for misaki’s boundaries, constantly forces himself on someone far younger and weaker than him, guilts misaki into staying with him by making grandiose declarations of love, and is generally just the most toxic abusive piece of shit to the person he claims to care about the most

he could have done all these things in a perfectly healthy relationship if his partner was of a similar bent of mind but misaki never wanted any of this he deserves better than what he’s getting right now from akihiko and if anyone thinks their relationship is something to aspire towards i feel nothing but the utmost sympathy and concern for you

[eqoism]

like man half the reason im even in this fandom anymore is bc i want to explain to these kids that romantica should not in any way be your model for an ideal relationship and akihiko of all people is as far away from an ideal partner as it is possible to be

not even egoist (arguably the healthiest couple of the show) is good enough to model your goddamn dream relationship on trust me i tried and it fucked me up

seriously it just worries me so much that these people are going to try and seek out people like akihiko to date and get themselves into some deep shit before they realize what’s going on akihiko is not a good partner and is certainly not in the sort of relationship that would allow him to be one and im just ksnfdslfmnsldgnbsjlvnsdlg

[eqoism]

[eqoism]

also @the anon who asked about kyouichi and imagase i haven’t forgotten you it’s just taking a while for me to get my thoughts in order

[eqoism]

at the risk of losing the few followers i do have on this blog i feel compelled to remind you guys that romantica is very much a coercive, abusive relationship and that misaki’s anxious clinging to akihiko in more recent chapters is not a sign of love but of stockholm syndrome

ultimately i can’t stop people from shipping what they want but if you’re going to support a relationship like this then even if it’s fictional you have to know what you’re doing full stop

[eqoism]

oh god ok im gonna do it im gonna make the hiroki po st

[eqoism]

how am i supposed to write an analysis for hiroki without giving away that i hopelessly ship him with akihiko

[eqoism]

me, survivor of multiple occasions of emotional pyschological and sexual abuse: *deeply relates to and admires a canon abuser* me: fuc

[eqoism]

faq: u say ur kin with akihiko but u tag him as “brother” why the fu

a: im just as lost as u are friend