#shitpost fic masterlist

[someprettyname]

Prince kaiser thoughts pt. 1

Find more of this AU here.

Imagine being assigned as the new servant to Prince Kaiser, and even at the first sight your unnatural beauty doesn't go unnoticed by him. Maids and servants aren't usually so eye catching?! Something about your smooth skin, high cheekbones and sharp jaws.....it's different. What's also different is the way you carry yourself.

So, him being the unhinged spoilt prince he is, he starts throwing himself at you. He doesn't care you are a maid, or someone of the "low birth". He is intrigued. And even more so when you politely resist him. He's more intrigued by the fact that his beauty doesn't appeal to you enough for you to fawn over him and immediately submit, all wooed (this bitch of an egoistic asshole) like any other women he'd met, than be angry at your audacity to turn down the crown prince.

Huh.

So he starts getting more and more assertive with you, until one day your blood boils to a temperature where you're fighting back and giving him a strong kick, sending him skidding away.

Little does he know you were sold off after the war. And your pride was too big. You'd rather die than get assaulted. Little does he know you used to be the daughter of the chief commander of army of the previous royal family, which means you're nothing short of a princess yourself.

[minhosimthings]

ALRIGHT HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT

WHAT IF

✨I make a royal Enhypen series based on French Quotes and it's a different trope for each one✨

[skiiyoomin]

⤑Back to navigation

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

ღWhat I think the Crows listen to

Kaz Brekker

Have you seen the way this man dresses? He dresses like a merchant and acts like one. He's definitely a very classy guy, hence the reason why I firmly believe he's the type of person that listens to jazz and soul music.

YOU CANNOT TELL ME OTHERWISE

Listens to Frank Sinatra, Michael Bublé, Dean Martin

I've seen so many people classify him as the type to listen to hard core rock like Green Day, and although I understand why, I genuinely feel like Kaz is the type of person who enjoys the sound of the saxophone, the old school type of songs that your mom listened to when she was in high school.

I will forever stand by my point

Honorable mention: ABBA (He will never admit how much he enjoys their music)

INEJ GHAFA

To me she's a mix of 80s type of music and Taylor Swift. Like there's literally no in between.

I think Taylors more recent songs make her feel empowered in a way after everything she went through in the Menagerie.

Definitely enjoys her older songs though! I feel like she enjoys a lot of acoustic music and often shares it with Wylan.

As for the 80s taste, like you can't just tell me she doesn't listen to ABBA on a daily.

Honorable mention: Queen, just because.

NINA ZENIK

I think this one is pretty obvious

Pop queen all the way!!

Listens to the trendiest artists like Ariana Grande and Nikki Minaj.

Is always onto the next trendy song, never missing out on any.

She just lives for the poppy type of music that had you dancing on the spot no matter what!

She has definitely rubbed it a little bit onto Matthias

Screams the lyrics to Doja Cat songs with Jesper. PERIOD.

Honorable mention: One Direction, because I believe in my heart she has always been a Directioner and she bawled her eyes out when they disbanded.

MATTHIAS HELVAR

Either hard rock music or classical music. There is literally no in between.

Very emo, you can't convince me otherwise

Huge fan of artists like Pink Floyd, AC/DC, Green Day. THOSE type of artists

I'm a firm believer that he went through an emo phase in his life where the only music he listened to was My Chemical Romance and Panic! At the Disco.

Still cries to this day because of MCRs disbandment. Nina definitely teases him for it.

Honorable mention: Lady Gaga, because like I said before, Nina in some way has definitely influenced his taste. Lady Gaga is the bomb tho, I don't blame him.

JESPER FAHEY

Not gonna lie, I had a hard time figuring him out.

I think out of everyone, he has the most varied taste in music. Will listen to literally anything based simply on his mood.

Like Nina, he listens to pop the most. But I think he leans more towards older type of pop songs.

The type of songs you heard in your childhood that bring back core memories.

LOTS of club type of music like Usher, Pitbull, Britney Spears. Definitely a fun person to go clubbing with.

Honorable mention: The Neighbourhood. I am emotionally attached to The Neighbourhood, and I am emotionally attached to Jesper. I just HAD to put this in here.

WYLAN VAN ECK

Ok so the obvious answer would be soft type of music. Lots of acoustic type of songs.

LOVES artists like JVKE and Harry Styles.

BUT

he has another side that a lot of people forget to mention (aka book Wylan)

His guilty pleasures are the sluttiest type of songs. I'm talking The Weeknd, Chase Atlantic.

So many people picture him as a soft boy type of aesthetic and although it's somewhat true, so many people forget the "We could wake them up" Wylan.

Honorable mention: Arctic Monkeys, just like im emotionally attached to The Neighborhood, im just as attached to Arctic Monkeys and I know for a fact Wylan enjoys that type of music.

I said what I said.

[six-eyed-samurai]

About time I got around to some housekeeping 😚

[sansaorgana]

i hate hate hate hate hate hate this website :)))

[revelboo]

THE HOLIDAYS SPECIAL SHITPOST IS CANON??? Omg, and it’s not a one time thing, anybody can just watch it??? if its in idw does that mean the traveling mtmte can accidentally intercept it? Can anybody, not anybody but a bot, just yoink it? Neutrals just spreading it. Thinking about swindle, or somebody just sending off to different groups aside from the ones in earth. Overlord, Tarn, Kaon, the reason the decepticons lose the war is because theyre humanfraggers. But if it lands on anti-cybertronians hands it can be used for major propaganda :(

Yeah, I suppose it is now canon to the fics on the Masterlist under IDW/G1 🤣 I treat the ones under Lost Light as wholly separate. That little PSA is definitely not going to have the intended effect, though. There are a lot of lonely or just outright bored Cybertronians on both sides.

Everything Is Alright Pt 96

IDW Starscream x Reader, Soundwave x Reader, Megatron x Reader

• Leaning his chin on a fist as you sit with your back to him on the other arm of his throne, he listens to you tell him about the wreck. About blundering into the middle of a fire fight between Starscream and the Autobots. About talking to him after he’d taken you and decided to keep you, asking him about his day and Megatron hears your voice soften with genuine affection. You talk about meeting Soundwave and the cassettes. Starscream’s failed attempt to free you giving him pause, because when has the Seeker ever cared for someone besides himself? But listening to you, it sounds like he’s learning to care. You leave out some things, he knows. Not mentioning how Star had claimed you. Or Soundwave. But finally you fall silent, little shoulders tense. And your story just leaves him more exhausted. Because he’s not sure what to do. Punishing Starscream will also punish Soundwave. And you.

• Behind you, Megatron is silent. For all you know, your story bored him so bad he fell into recharge. So it’s a surprise when he reaches and runs his servo against your side and you look up at him, those red optics staring at you. “You’re an incredible amount of trouble for being so small,” he mutters, chin still on his fist as the servo slides to tip your chin up. “But useful. That fool can’t act out for fear of you being harmed. He might be trained yet.” And he smiles down at you, that look making your skin prickle. Trained? “Don’t worry, I think you’ll enjoy helping.”

• “I’m not helping you make him miserable,” you say, pushing at his servo with warm little hands as your eyes narrow. That unexpected attitude sparking through him. He’s seen little glimpses of it amid the submissiveness, but usually you’re quick to hide it. To play at being docile. It makes him want to push to see how far you’ll bend before you lash out. And he’s curious despite himself. Remembering that little glimpse of you under the Seeker. The sounds.

• “I only want to reward good behavior,” he says, that smile becoming something wicked that makes you freeze. Because he’s not so scary or intimidating when he smiles, that severe face seeming younger, more open. Pushing away from his servos, you scowl at him, trying your hardest not to acknowledge that for a heartbeat you thought he was handsome. Absolutely not. “And you don’t really have any say in it, pet.”

• Stuck patrolling with Soundwave even though the communications officer isn’t at all suitable for this, Starscream knows it’s just so Soundwave can watch him. Make sure he’s not plotting and he hates it. Still needs to do more research and right now? He can’t even think about his plan or Soundwave will know. He has no doubt the other mech is eavesdropping in his mind. Spying. For Megatron. Frustrated, they walk their circuit looking for any sign of Autobots and coming up empty. The enemy quiet lately. And he almost wishes an Autobot would show up, someone to take his frustration out on. And even if he could plot, he’s too distracted with worry. Hates leaving you at Megatron’s mercy. He’s felt that mercy, bears the scars of it and you’re so small. So fragile.

• Feeling the Seeker’s thoughts seething almost out of control, Soundwave vents tiredly. Understands the worry, but he trusts Megatron. He’d tried pinging Rumble and Frenzy both and had only gotten a distracted ‘busy’ from Frenzy and a flicker of emotion he really doesn’t want to think too closely on. Almost sure both cassettes are busy with the same human Rumble had disappeared with. Hoping they don’t do anything too impulsive but also sure that they likely did. Neither had ever been great at thinking things through, preferring to act on impulse. Like you. Reaching for things you want no matter the consequences.

• Returning to base, Starscream heads for the bridge and his optics narrow to find no guards waiting today. Wings flaring, he strides inside and freezes. Hissing softly as Soundwave brushes past him and also stops. Because there’s Megatron sprawled on his throne, but he’s pulled a little table in front of him and you’re in the center of it in a nest of blankets, one draped around you so only your face is visible. It’s the embarrassed anger on your face that snares his attention. “If you hurt-”

• “Your little mate is fine. Just a bit put out. Did you patrol as I asked?” Megatron growls, cutting Starscream off. Sees the Seeker’s wings flick up, trembling with rage, but he sullenly nods. “Good. Claim your reward.” Flicking his servos at you as you stand, he growls softly. “The blanket?” Now you’re shooting him a sullen look, eyes narrowed as you let the blanket fall with your back to him. He can see enough, though. The delicate chains dangling from your wrists and throat, and the draped, sheer cloth that doesn’t even start to hide you. That covering had been a happy find amid the pile of soft things Starscream had for you and the look on your face when his Insecticons had fetched it to him along with the chain? That had been even better. Almost as amusing as leashing you and watching you change into your new covering while trying to keep yourself hidden from him. Those angry eyes doing things to him. “Mass displace and claim your reward.”

• Embarassed you look at Soundwave and Starscream. Soundwave frozen and Starscream’s optics are sliding over you hungrily despite how mad he looks. Part of him likes this, you think. Seeing you bound. It’s not like Megatron had touched you aside from attaching the chains about your wrists and throat. And there’s enough extra chain you’re not actually restricted, the chains looping up to the thin collar around your neck. Know it’s meant to mock you and infuriate Starscream and Soundwave. A punishment for them lying about you being a pet. Megatron trussing you up like a pet. A plaything. Soundwave moves first, hands on the table and lunging up as he mass displaces to drag you into his arms. Big hands running over you checking that you’re okay and reassuring himself. That concern taking the edge off your mortified anger. It’s not like Megatron hasn’t seen Starscream fucking you. Is the warlord playing chicken? Trying to shame Soundwave and Starscream for wanting you? Or does he just want to watch? “Star?”

• Soundwave’s hands are on your hips as you look back at him. Those chains making a silvery sound where they slide against Soundwave’s plating, your skin on full display through the sheer fabric you’re wearing. But he’s frozen trying to figure out the game. To humiliate him? To mock him? There’s an angle, but as you stare up at him he finds himself coming to you anyway. Mass displacing and reaching to touch you through the fabric. Pulling you back to him, Soundwave following with a soft growl. Aware of Megatron staring at him in challenge. Daring him. Ignoring the warlord, he brushes his mouth against your throat. “Are you okay?” Relaxing a tiny bit when you nod, soft hands touching his sides, running up his chassis. Tangling his servos in your hair, he pulls you into his arms. Growling when his arm bumps Soundwave, the communications officer’s hands on your hips so you’re pinned between them.

Previous

Next

[leafostuff]

My Masterlist (2024 Ver)

[F] Fluff

A tale of a Owl and Bunny (Chaehyun)

Welcome to the CATS Club (Chaehyun)

Taste Of Love (Jaehee) [Debut Fic]

Advanced Hugology (Jihan)

Birthday Kisses (Jihan)

Frozen in the Moment (Jihan)

A Tent for the Two of us (Jihan)

This Side of you (Chaeryoung)

It's Just a Nightmare (ITZY Yuna)

Meteor Shower (Minseo)

A King without a queen, a Princess without a knight (Bona)

Our Little Secret (Miihi)

Mood (Wonyoung)

Eyes on me (Liz)

Stop Teasing (Nagyung)

Insecurities (Jiheon)

Never Forever (Chaewon)

Campfire Talk (CSR Yuna)

Cuddle Party (All of CSR) [Collab with @erospandemos]

Fluffy Pancakes, Fluffy Girl (Geumhee)

Adjectives Thrown Around (CSR Yuna)

Would you (Karina)

Short and Sweet (Lesserafim Yunjin)

Tingles (Kiss of life Natty)

Untitled (Kep1er's Chaehyun)

My Favourite Yapper (StayC Seeun)

[S] Smut (18+)

Nana Potter (Nana)

One Heck of a Joyride (Nana) [Collab with @octoberautumnbox]

A Very cheerful Halloween (Nako)

Camera Shy (Nako) [Part of Off*iz Hours]

"Tool" Assisted (Nagyung)

No Names Needed (Sheon)

Her money dont jiggle jiggle (but her boobs sure do) (Nayoung)

Messes in Distress (Jihan and Zoa of Weeekly)

Private Appreciation (Triple S nien)

Double Mountain (Weeekly Jihan)

Operant Conditioning (WooAh's Nana X Jo Yuri) [FXF]

Blind sexDate [StayC's Isa & Chaeyoung Fromis_9)

No Strings Attached (Billlie's Sheon & Tsuki) [Sequel to No names needed)

Practice routine (Jo Yuri)

5 Out of 5 Customer Service (Lightsum's Nayoung)

[O] Other

Chaehyun as a Pokemon Trainer (Chaehyun)

What if Polyamorous relationship with Jihan and Wonyoung (Jihan and Wonyoung)

What If Hikaru and Bahiyyih were a Couple (Hikaru and Bahiyyih)

Han Sohee as a Pokemon Trainer (Han Sohee)

[S] Shitpost

* lifowrits - gel sex

[agaypanic]

Every Night (Spider-Man!Chase Davenport X Reader)

Masterlist

Request Something!

Summary: Chase Davenport is a Mission Creek High student who takes pictures by day, and a bionic web-slinging superhero who fights crime by night. Tonight, he swings by your place with a split lip, a bruised rib, and a wounded ego.

A/N: holy shit an actual fic instead of a shitpost, who would’ve guessed? spiderman au where chase is spiderman bc 📖anon and i agreed that chase davenport is totally peter parker coded (specifically andrew garfield’s). side note: if this was a full avengers au, chase would be spiderman, davenport would be iron man, adam would probably be thor, bree would be black widow, and leo would probably be captain america or the hulk (it’d be funny to see him go from this little stick figure to a giant beefy mutant man). This is most likely not medically accurate

***

“Hold that,” Chase muttered just loud enough for you to hear, adjusting the settings on his new camera. “Stay still.”

“Chase, lunch is gonna be over soon.” You teased, but still held your position as requested.

You heard your boyfriend take a picture, and then a few more. There were a few more flickers of the camera shutter before Chase got up and rounded the picnic table to sit next to you. “What do you think?” Chase asked, showing you the couple of pictures he had just taken.

“I think you make me look really pretty.”

“Nah.” Chase shook his head before kissing your cheek. “That’s all you.”

“Big flirt.” You smiled, taking the camera out of his hands and setting it on the table to kiss him without interruption. Unfortunately, the school bell didn’t get the memo about you wanting to be undisturbed. Chase pouted when you pulled away, making you laugh. “Will I see you tonight?”

Chase stood up, grabbing his camera and your hand. “You always do, babe.”

***

Chase was right; you always did see him. But your question should have been whether he’d come through your front door as Chase Davenport or through your window as Spider-Man. The follow-up question would have been whether or not he’d be bloody and bruised.

Unfortunately, the answer to both questions were the latter options tonight.

“You’re lucky my parents aren’t home,” you said as you helped your boyfriend into your room, trying to avoid the blood-saturated parts of his suit. “Who was it this time?”

“Green Goblin.” Chase winced, plopping down on your bed while he clutched his side. You grabbed the little first aid kit that you kept under your bed ever since finding out about your boyfriend’s super identity. “I was doing my patrol when he just flew by out of nowhere. I didn’t even feel him coming.”

You could hear Chase’s disappointment in his voice as he recounted the events. The fight was difficult, as the wounds you were helping him clean up proved. 

After wiping the blood off his chin from his split lip, you scooted back a little and gestured to Chase’s chest. “Suit off.”

“At least buy me dinner first.” Chase tried to laugh but instead groaned in pain as he pressed the spider emblem on his suit that loosened the once skin-tight fabric. You helped pull the suit off enough to reveal Chase’s chest. It was bruised, sweaty, and heaving. “Hey, my eyes are up here.”

“Shut up.” You rolled your eyes from his teasing and continued tending to Chase’s wounds. “You know, sometimes I wonder why you don’t go to Mr. Davenport for this. I’m sure Davenport Industries has actual nurses, or at least better medical supplies than a homemade first aid kit.”

Chase’s hand, a little shaky from his exhaustion, cupped your cheek, making you tear your eyes away from his purpling side. “I always visit you every night. A little beating isn’t gonna stop me from that.”

You scoffed. You wouldn’t exactly call this a ‘little’ beating. “Okay, but if you get some kind of infection or lifelong medical problem, don’t blame me.”

The rest of your aid was accompanied by silence. You were focused on cleaning Chase up to the best of your abilities, while he was focused on your focus. He wished he had his camera to capture the moment, ignoring the fact that he was wounded and in pain.

“Done,” you said after a long half hour. “Now, go take a shower. You’re all sweaty and gross.”

“I didn’t hear you complain when you were staring at my glistening abs.” Chase teased as he slowly stood up, kicking his suit off so he was only in his boxers.

You playfully swatted at him. “Just go. I’ll have a movie ready when you’re done.”

“And snacks?” Chase looked over his shoulder, looking at you with a pleading look. You nodded, following him out of your room, parting so he could go to the bathroom and you to the kitchen.

“And snacks.”

[temis-de-leon]

One-shots

Main Masterlist

🌟 = Popular // 💫 = My favourite // 🩷 = Requested

.

.

Fics:

Lonely MC – gn!reader: how I imagine MC's last moments before being summoned to the Devildom

Peaceful waters – Levi x gn!reader: Levi understands your sadness the most

MC with a selfish best friend – fem!reader 💫: someone in the human realm starts to destroy MC's spirits. The brothers try their best to make her feel better

Solomon x gn!reader in traditional goth wardrobe 🩷: being used to seeing MC as a cute black sheep, Solomon can't help but stare when he discovers MC's true appearence

Solomon x Insecure fem!S/O 🩷: when MC doubts her body, Solomon is quick to show how much he loves it

When Greed is too much - Mammon x gn!reader 🩷: Mammon and MC's luck in the casino runs out and, if that wasn't enough, Lucifer catches them when they sneak back into the house

MC as the future king of the Devildom – Diavolo x male!reader 🩷💫: Diavolo discovers a magical object in the castle that isn't what it seems; a mirror with a reflection that doesn't show what is real

10 signs a cow is happy – Belphie x gn!MC: a series of drabbles about Belphie and MC describing all the signs the Avatar of Sloth is happy

They never see you cry - Everyone x gn!reader: a short drabble in which they ponder why you never cry in front of them

You just have to keep trying – Mammon x gn!MC: a drabble in which Mammon and MC share an awkward first kiss

If crows could talk… - Mammon x gn!MC 💫: a drabble in which one of Mammon's crows brings you a gift

Headcanons:

About demonic pregnancy

Mammon is the type of boyfriend 🌟

Asmo is the type of boyfriend

Simple signs of affection (everyone) 🌟: small things you do that makes them love you even more

Demon Brothers as Single Fathers – gn!reader: what if the brothers already had a child before MC was first summoned to the Devildom?

Dateables as Single Fathers – gn!reader

Bold and confident gn!reader (Mammon, Levi, Asmo) 🩷

Gn!MC with thick curly hair (Lucifer, Mammon, Satan, Asmo) 🩷

Gn!MC with chronic joint pain (Mammon, Levi, Asmo, Beel, Belphie) 🩷

Gn!MC with super long hair (Lucifer, Levi, Satan, Beel, Diavolo) 🩷

Who’s their emergency contact (Demon Brothers) 🌟

Southern gn!MC who spoils the brothers with their cooking (Lucifer, Mammon, Beel) 🩷

Gn!MC with tactile hypersensitivity (Mammon, Asmo, Belphie, Barbatos) 🩷

When they don’t know you as well as they thought - gn!reader (HoL): meeting your human friends and family makes them realize they still have a lot to learn about you

When another guy flirts with you (Demon Brothers)

Sewist gn!MC who makes clothes with his clothes (Demon Brothers)

Gn!MC shows cuteness aggression (Lucifer, Diavolo, Barbatos) 🩷

Imagine:

What would happen if Mammon didn’t want to be Greed anymore?

Pathetic Diavolo 💫

Poly!MC and the sleeping curse 🌟

The way Lucifer looks at you 🌟

Mammon is such a good boy 🌟

Shitposting:

Peeling skin TikTok joke 🌟

What I would watch with them

The royals are boomers

Lucifer is Julius Caesar

.

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[spencewalterreid]

bowie's boykisser bonanza

(the master list of my works and recommendations)

☆ my other accounts

@castielhoney. destiel/spn, main account, catch-all for politics or shitposts sometimes

@elliesevileye. ellie williams/abby anderson/tlou, billie eilish sometimes

☆ my tags

all of my original posts will be tagged with either #bowie's yaps (for updates on fics or addressing one of yall) or #bowie's boykisser bonanza. From here on out (02.13.25) I am going to do my best to remember to tag my reblogged fics with #bowie's recs, but don't hold me to it. sincerest apologies if I forget!

☆ one shots

In The Morning I'll Make Cereal: the one where professor reid sees your self-harm scars and wants to know more. PG, platonic.

If I Love You Was A Promise: the one where you have a meltdown and reid stays over to keep you company. PG, platonic.

The Red Means I Love You: the one where we revisit s12 e22: red light, but less... murdery. the first three times you thought: I wonder just how red I could make you. TV-14, fade to black smut.

Don't Call Me Dude: the one where reid takes home a new toy and wants you to try it out with him. TV-MA, smutty smut smut. straight filth

V-day Bouquet: the one where Spencer is in your apartment complex and you buy him a bouquet and chocolate on a whim. fluff, fade to black smut if you squint

☆ series

Neurotech: the one where Agent Jenna Connell (oc) and Reid spearhead an investigation into a pharmaceutical company whose clients are turning up dead

Preacher's Daughter: The one where Ethel Cain grew up with Spencer Reid.

PLEASE read the warnings/disclaimers on the PD masterlist if you're going to read all the way through. It starts out more on the tame side but gets darker as the fic goes on.

☆ my art

boy? consider him KISSED. coloured pencil on mixed media paper.

wip 1 and 2 of the oil painting i'm currently working on

not boykissing but rather girlkissing. i am a man of multitudes. from my brain of a girl I am hopelessly in love with

poem empathizing with cat adams idk if this counts as art but... ?

☆personal notes

Me<3

My name is Beau or Bowie, either is perfectly fine, pick your favourite. I use he/him pronouns. Majoritively write for Spencer, but if a request came in for a different character, I might see about it.

Requests are always welcome!! I love seeing y'all's ideas and am more than happy to oblige, BUT!

There are certain characters I will not write for at all, and some there are limitations on. I will not. Will NOT. ever write a hotchxreader. There are lots and lots of others who write great fics about that, but hotch just puts me off and always has, so I'm not down for that. However, he might appear in plot-relevant fics sometimes.

There isn't really any*thing* I won't write for. Pretty open as far as smut goes, same for angst, and fluff is anything goes.

My DMs are always always open!!!

Hit me up anytime. I'd love to listen to you vent, or hear about something cool that happened, or anything of the like. If you aren't up for that, anons are open for the very same:) to be honest it's kinda my dream to have regular anons so PLEASE hit me up it'll make my year

☆ recs

literally all of the bandages universe: @nereidprinc3ss. i binged it so quick. just flirty reader making spencer nervous for like. a bajillion words.

Covetous Cravings: @burymagdalene. the one where coitus takes place on Spencer's pretty Persian rug

Bad Day: @g4rvez-r3id. the one where you come home from a really bad day and your boyfriend, Spencer is there to save the day… and hold you while you cry.

CLASSIFIED: @ovrgrwnivy. the one where a sleepy morning turns into spencer falling over himself to get to work on time, forgetting his badge behind him.

Red Is Your Color: @esote-rika. the one where you send reid a scandalous christmas-themed photo and he Does Something about it.

@minswriting. the one where you use a vibrator on reid

And they were roommates: @rainydayathogwarts. the one with 0-boundary roomates.

Don't Call Me: @reiderwriter. the one where spencer keeps your cheating ex on the phone while participating in coitus

apparent loss or modification of information: @luveline. the one where reid doesn't remember you but he still has a crush.

[fatherbrat]

FATHERBRAT LIBRARY ♱

hq masterlist | jjk masterlist | misc masterlist

TAGS

#fatherbrat ♱ library (my writing tag) #bratchats (chatting, shitposts, rambles, etc) #confessional (asks!) #naomi recs (fic reblogs)

back to pinned

[phoenixyfriend]

Masterlist Navigator - Pinned Post

I am still accepting donations (or commissions!) on ko-fi, but it's not by any means an pressing need anymore. If you want a writing-related goal to support for this, I'm going to move closer to the city (and the new job) once I've built up a bit of a nest egg in case of emergency, and that'll cut down the commute by several hours... which I could use on writing for you guys!

For politics-only followers, I have the sideblog @phoenix-politics.

At this time (May 2024) I am still accepting a trade of charity donations for fic. If you donate over a certain amount to a listed charity, I will write a shortfic for you.

Alright, navigation time:

Last updated May 24th, 2024

General Masterpost: random posts, tumblr things, omegaverse, and scifi

Polls (non-Star Wars)

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Star Wars Masterlists:

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Time Travel AUs

Ships Masterlist: ships I do a lot with, sfw

That Which is Unsafe for Work (Anakin Ships): You know the drill, folks. Tread carefully, for 18+ only.

That Which is Unsafe for Work (non-Anakin Ships and nsfw-dark): You know the drill, folks. Tread carefully, for 18+ only. All posts that fall into the nsfw-dark umbrella are in this post, regardless of other features.

Wider AUs masterlist: masterpost for the AUs that have more than two parts

In the Big Leagues: for posts about fics that have made it to AO3

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Liveblogging of Canon

[plasticflowersinahistorycemetery]

❤︎ 𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔪𝔢 ❤︎

✯ 𝖘 𝖒 𝖎 𝖓 ✯

twenty-eight. she/her. please be nice—I literally cry at everything. ink-stained hands. musical genre-hopper. jackles&jarpad-obsessed. poetic violence. morally grey fictional men. a walking juxtaposition.

✟ 𝔞 𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔪𝔢𝔡 ���𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔩𝔦𝔠 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔞 𝔥𝔞𝔟𝔦𝔱 𝔬𝔣 𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤 ✟ ✟ 𝔯𝔞𝔦𝔰𝔢𝔡 𝔬𝔫 𝔥𝔶𝔪𝔫𝔰 & 𝔥𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔣𝔦𝔯𝔢 ✟ ✟ 𝔲𝔰𝔢 𝔪𝔶 𝔬𝔩𝔡 𝔟𝔦𝔟𝔩𝔢𝔰 𝔱𝔬 𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔰 𝔣𝔩𝔬𝔴𝔢𝔯𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔴 ✟

"mercy, can you forgive me? I want your mercy."

✯ warning/s: most of my content is 18+, minors, do not interact! also, please do not repost or copy my works. thank you. ❤︎

requests: open/closed but be respectful & mindful, please. ✯ fandoms: supernatural. the boys.

✯ what I post: fic, shitposts, whingeposts, gifs, playlists. ❤︎

✯ let's connect: you can send me asks & unhinged ramblings, but please don't be an asshole, I want my blog to be a safe space—respect that, or you're getting blocked. if you wanna be on my taglists, you can reply on here with the character/s you want.

✯ fic details: I write fem!reader-inserts with a darker, more angsty lens. I always aim for immersive storytelling.

✯ dni if you: are a minor, bigot, racist, homophobe, terf, or generally trash. police what others read/write—this is a pro-fiction & pro-fandom space. engage in fandom drama (I'm too old & too tired).

✯ masterlist

✯ 𝔴𝔢𝔩𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔪𝔞𝔡𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔰 ✯

[blerb-f1]

"The Future" - Sebastian Vettel x reader

The news truly shocked me and compelled me to write this.

Lewis Hamilton is a side character in this.

not proofread i dont have the mental capacity rn

This fic also is kinda part of a series, but it can stand on it's own! For more, view my masterlist.

-------

“Have you considered it at least?”

A fragmented voice sounding through a tin-like phone speaker asked with a certain pressure behind it. The kind of pressure you’d only hear from people who wanted something. Something important.

Sebastian eyed the phone hesitantly, placing it on the windowsill while holding his watering can. Little droplets sliding down it’s side as he attempted to water his dried pot of basil - traveling was never something that helped in plantkeeping, not when you’d spend half the year in random hotels somewhere in the world.

He did not feel the need to return to the circus known as Formula 1, having enjoyed his time there but entirely content with retirement. Opposed to some of the others, he thought, he knew when to quit. No longer circling the biggest cities on earth but the supermarket parking lot in hopes of finding an empty spot. More importantly, waking up in his own bed for 7/7 days a week was a major joy to him, a feeling he didn’t feel like giving up.

“You know as well as i do, that we need an  experienced driver. George’s good but… He just can’t give us the direction needed.” Toto sounded quite serious at that moment - Lewis deciding to leave must have hurt him badly, considering him approaching Sebastian.

“Also… I just want someone i can trust to be around me”

Looking up in surprise, Seb almost dropped the watering can on the floor. Lewis leaving had REALLY hurt him.

“I’ve been thinking about retiring from F1 now. But they’d probably cancel F1 Academy without me around. Force Susie into Submission. I don’t want that. Fuck no.”

“Toto, I-” Sebastian started speaking, plucking the dead leaves from his pot of basil. “I like life. I love peaceful mornings.”

Silence. The phone speaker didn’t echo out for a few moments. 

“What would you say, if i told you we had a championship winning car?”

—-----------------------------------------------

“You really agree to it?” Sebastian asked, Surprise lingering on his voice.

“Of course i do, i’ve seen you thirst for racing while you yourself didn’t. I was with you from the beginning till the end of your career, don’t you think i’d be able to read you by now?” Y/N answered him, their eyebrows pulled together in a mild emotion.

“But there’s a catch.”

“Yes?”

“I’ll be your race engineer. Like i’ve always been”

“Huh?” Seb asked again, this time even more surprised than before. Y/N nodded seriously. “I can’t see you race with another Engineer at your side. It feels wrong.”

The man man pondered for a moment, his brain racking. “You’re right. I’ll talk to Toto.”

A week later, Mercedes made an announcement. For the 2025 season, Bono would be moving to the lead Race Engineer position, not being directly responsible for a single racer. The community was confused, unsure of what was happening. Would they be promoting a rookie racer and engineer to grow their youth? Would they be getting a driver and engineer paring from another team?

Twitter and Reddit Artists were working hard, creating shitpost after shitpost, pundits podcast over podcast as the season progressed, trying to figure out who’d be the next racer.

Meanwhile Sebastian and Y/N were busy in their own ways. Practicing their communication again, the driver getting physically fit and in shape again. Moreso than he had been during his time at Aston Martin. This was going to be serious - no more lazing around. Go hard or go home.

Y/N worked with Bono - the man they used to work against- to get used to the Mercedes way of communication. It was very difficult, more strict compared to the free Red Bull. More lenient compared to the crazy Ferrari. More rule governed, compared to Aston Martin. Peter Bonnington was surprised in his own way, understanding why L/N and Vettel were the scary Duo they had been all this time. They had been a team since 2008, their shared time rivaling his and Lewis. Lewis- that was a mental direction he shouldn’t go to. Mercedes would need to win the championship, no time to waste on stupid thoughts.

As the season progressed and Fans grew mad with their speculation, Mercedes made a post on their instagram. It was a Photo of one of the trees outside their HQ, with a little bee fluttering around it. One single Description. “We love nature”.

Fans went wild with speculation, thinking, planning, shitposting. 

Then one day, two weeks away from the season beginning, the news fell. Two announcement posts in a single day. Y/N L/N heading to Mercedes as Race Engineer, Sebastian Vettel as driver. Mercedes returning back to their silver arrows livery.

The community went wild, the thing they’d never expected had happened.

Lewis meanwhile, was downtrodden. He had expected this move to work out differently. Ferrari clearly designated Charles as Driver 1, not adjusting around him like he’d gotten used to. Their bad race engineering got him into trouble many times. Seeing this news almost broke him. They had replaced him with his friend, who didn’t speak a single word of this? Shame on him.

Shortly after, a Video went online on the Mercedes Account. Sebastian and Y/N were seated among the many championships belonging to Mercedes, clad in white teamgear. Their eyes were determined, telling people they hadn’t arrived to play. As Sebastian took of his hat, people noticed the change. His own cold smile had returned, the one that caused people to call him a smiling assassin. His locks short again, like when he’d won his own championships. Y/N had assimilated, they’re hair bleached and dyed into a silvery colour. 

Fans once again were shocked, they truly hadn’t expected Sebastian to return like this. More akin to the way Schumacher returned but apparently that was not the choice Vettel made - he was here to win, not for the participation trophy.

As the season opener in Australia rolled around, many eyes were glued to the screen. Y/N was sitting on a bicycle along with their driver on his own, passing over the track. Taking in texture, dirt and heat. The media approached them back in the pits, shoving microphones in their face. Y/N just grunted, showing the media a literal middle finger before dipping into the Mercedes pitwall. 

This was the same paring as back in 2011, ready to fight. Qualifying went well, dangerously well. It was as if Seb hadn’t left F1. But not the 2022 Version, the 2012 Version. His defense was ruthless, his attacks even more. He utilised all the skills he had honed over years, even the smallest tricks Michael had once explained to him to gain a faster time. As he crossed over the finish line in first position, Martin Brundle screamed out loud. Nobody had expected this, nobody thought he could win a race again. Toto was jumping in the Mercedes Garage, Y/N jumping along and almost throwing the headset down.

Sebastian on the radio was back to his own, singing, cheering and screaming absolute gibberish. Pulling into Parc Fermé, he was surprised at having the camera and microphone pushed into his face. This new way of doing things was very unusual to him. 

“So Sebastian, tell us how you’re feeling.”

“I feel like i belong” was his simple answer, pushing the camera out of his face as he headed to get weighed. He took a short look at the staircase leading up to the podium. It had been a while since he had last set foot onto them. They were almost scary but he knew, he was secure. A hand placed on his shoulder, one that he had felt there for many years. Y/N was there to get the constructors trophy, truely the only appropriate person today.

The clothing wasn’t the same as in the past, but the energy was. People were cheering, even more were booing. Not wanting another Era of Mercedes Dominance. Booing however, did nothing to deter Sebastian or Y/N. After all, they were the original Red Bull Villains. 

Ignoring the rules, they let the champagne down to the team to enjoy. This was their first victory after a few years as well, they deserved it after sacrificing two seasons to get this car made.

Then, a lone camera man captured an almost painfull view. Lewis Hamilton, clad in the strong Ferrari Red standing aside, looking up to the silver team with sadness and longing in his eyes. This hurt him, it truly did. Tears were welling in his eyes as the camera man moved away tactfully, instead capturing the celebrating couple instead.

The season progressed, a grandslam in all eyes. Win after win - not a single Race lost. As the Final in Bahrain rolled around and Sebastian collected his fifth driver’s championship, he knew he had found a new family and home. Y/N and him were celebrating wildly, the basil on the windowsill long forgotten among the glory and the parties, the heat and the energy.

It was that day, that a man entered a plane back to his new home in Italy. Eying the still not fully unpacked furniture, he settled onto a lightly dusted chair. Had leaving Mercedes truly not been the right decision? Lewis looked at a photobook a fan had gotten him. From winning with McLaren, the years with Nico and Valtteri, Mercedes had truly grown into his home and Family. What had made him leave them then? Was it the thirst for glory? Had he not enjoyed the atmosphere anymore? He felt conflicted. People had told him that Ferrari would break him. He didn’t want to believe them, but they were right. The red team had once again done what it did best. Destroy someone. Lewis looked back on Sebastian’s Face, remembering his defeated expression after the years of fighting with the red team. Of getting recognition for Kimi as well. Of standing up against Charles.

Lewis considered his options, putting his own life on the golden scale. Then, he made a decision. Opening instagram, he made a single post. Cuddling Roscoe, the description was simple, something nostalgic almost. “I hereby announce my retirement from Formula 1”

[callahanisms]

hotd masterlist

cast

courtship (hcs | gn! reader)

diamond of the season - bridgerton regency! au headcanons

love is patient and kind (hcs | gn! reader | rom com au)

the monster is us (hcs | gn! reader | horror au)

lights! camera! action! (hcs | gn! reader | movie star au)

when you fall sick (hcs | gn! reader)

cooking and baking (hcs | gn! reader)

are you on the square? (shitpost)

manners maketh man (hcs | gn! reader | kingsman spy! au)

falling in love with a dragonrider (hcs | gn! reader | request)

arranged marriage with childhood friend (hcs | gn! reader | request)

falling into their crush’s chest (hcs | gn! reader | request)

having an s.o. who is afraid of children and childbirth (hcs | gn! reader | request)

driving (hcs | gn! reader)

daemon targaryen

general + relationship (hcs | gn! reader)

opposing sides (hcs | gn! reader)

rhaenyra targaryen

general + relationship (wip)

opposing sides (hcs | gn! reader | request)

victory for the opposing side (hcs | gn! reader | request)

coming out + their mother’s reaction (hcs | gn! reader | request)

reacting to the fact that (y/n) killed their child (hcs | gn! reader | request)

reactions to their lover cheating on them (hcs | gn! reader | request)

dragon’s smile (fic | gn! reader)

red lady (wip)

portrait of a princess on fire (fic | rhaenicent)

alicent hightower

general + relationship (wip)

opposing sides (hcs | gn! reader | request)

victory for the opposing side (hcs | gn! reader | request)

happy ending with their s.o (hcs | gn! reader | request)

coming out + their mother’s reaction (hcs | gn! reader | request)

reacting to the fact that (y/n) killed their child (hcs | gn! reader | request)

reactions to their lover cheating on them (hcs | gn! reader | request)

treatments for sorrow (fic | gn! reader)

green lightning (wip)

portrait of a princess on fire (fic | rhaenicent)

aegon targaryen

general + relationship (hcs | gn! reader)

opposing sides (hcs | gn! reader | request)

victory for the opposing side (hcs | gn! reader | request)

coming out + their mother’s reaction (hcs | gn! reader | request)

reacting to a bard (hcs | gn! reader | request)

aemond targaryen

general + relationship (hcs | gn! reader)

opposing sides (hcs | gn! reader | request)

victory for the opposing side (hcs | gn! reader | request)

happy ending with their s.o (hcs | gn! reader | request)

coming out + their mother’s reaction (hcs | gn! reader | request)

reacting to a bard (hcs | gn! reader | request)

study session (fic | gn! reader)

in the mood for love (fic | gn! reader)

helaena targaryen

general + relationship (hcs | gn! reader)

opposing sides (hcs | gn! reader request)

happy ending with their s.o (hcs | gn! reader | request)

coming out + their mother’s reaction (hcs | gn! reader | request)

reactions to their lover cheating on them (hcs | gn! reader | request)

reacting to a bard (hcs | gn! reader | request)

[abyssal-author-and-artist]

My blog is generally pretty lighthearted and I stick to reblogging art and fic and fun stuff, but you know what. I feel like I need to say this.

I am a trans teen in the US. I'm seventeen, so too young to have voted. I'm terrified for my life right now. I usually post about college but I'm actually concurrently enrolled in high school still and the kid who sits behind me in first period government is a massive Trump fanboy. I'm going to have to go to high school Monday and talk about the election. I'm going to have to hear my deadname called and hear people in my super conservative high school talk about how happy they are Trump won. Everything is terrifying. I walk outside of my house and I'm scared I'll be shot. Several months ago I promised that I'd kill myself if that bastard won.

He did and I'm still here.

I'm not thriving. I'm not living my best life. I'm barely living. But I'm surviving. I'm coping. I'm trying my goddamned best. It's hard. I want so bad to just go and take as much medication as I can and slit my wrist for good measure and pass away in my sleep. But I'm still here. And I will be here.

I am in so much pain. But I'm living on spite and determination and everything I can scrape together. I know I need support and those around me need support. So consider this a support masterpost.

Support:

First thing you should see if you're a trans person in the US.

Here's a link to the Trevor Project and here's a link to their suicide hotline page. They've already saved my life once before. Please note - they recommend calling if you need immediate support. Donate if you can, please.

This post is both a suicide hotline masterlist and a post mentioning how something feels deeply wrong here with this election.

On the topic of something being wrong, sign this petition. I'm only seventeen but I did this and it might not feel like much but if we couldn't shoot that bastard (I am not pro-gun but I am when it comes to him) then we'll do the next best thing. Here's the link to the petition itself. Make sure to check the post every once in a while - the original petition got taken down and this is important.

I follow a lot of gimmick blogs, so I got to see this post encouraging us to be loud. Because we should be. Because if we die they've won and my mom didn't smoke weed on the steps of the state capital of Colorado to legalize it just so her son could roll over and die.

Here is the Tumblr Hot Beverage Masterpost, as I've taken to calling it. My personal favorites are the London Fog in the replies, earl grey with milk, honey, and vanilla (in the tags), and some additions from me are hot chocolate with peppermint melted into it, earl grey with lavender, caramel apple tea, and really anything else you can think of. Trust me. This post works better than you think.

Read this post if you haven't seen it already. It's half poem, half Tumblr being Tumblr, all wonderful to read.

Things I just like to see:

PM Seymour and Bettina Levy both have shown their support for everyone struggling right now. It might not be much, but I still really appreciate it and seeing support can really help.

The cat with the kind and reassuring face. No other context.

Four panel comic of hope. Because you're more than enough.

Can't find the post where I found this but this is a link to a virtual toy where you can make your own galaxy.

Please. Eat something. Drink a hot beverage. Draw, write, read, knit, sew, sculpt, bake, do something that helps. Reach out to friends, even if they're online friends. Talk to someone you trust. Make vent art. Write vent fics. It doesn't matter what you do as long as it helps.

Do not roll over and die. Live. Live on spite. Live on determination. Live on shitposts and live on heartfelt stories like this one. If you have anything to add to this post please do. Add more resources. Add more love to this post. I know I'm just a guy on the internet saying shit, but I still care about everyone who sees this post.