#shitcastle anon

[chaifootsteps]

Thinking about how there's an alternate reality somewhere where barbie wire is the main character instead of blitzo and she's the one who started IMP straight up to cope with the loss of her mother, who she believes was murdered purposefully by whoever started the fire. So she started the business as a way to process her grief, 'I may not be able to kill the one who killed who I loved, but at least I can help you do that'. Millie and Moxie are still there, but Millie is the one who gets more screentime bc alternate universe viv still can't have both characters shine. Blitzo is still her brother and exists but she doesn't know he started the fire accidentally until like, I dunno, season 2 final with a huge revelation and flashback. Oh, and stolas is just how he was in the pilot. He's got a few redeeming qualities though, such as loving his daughter and actually putting her before anyone else (I'd still need the song "you'll be okay" in my alternate selfs life). Stella is played as more sympathetic and everyone ships her and barbie bc they keep on having questionable scenes together. Barbie teaches stella to not be racist (omg just like me and my ex) and stella helps barbie through her grief since she lost something else important to her, that being her freedom and free will.

I am sleepy -shitcastle anon

Vivzie and her fandom looking on in horror at the comparative lack of men and gay sex and dicks in this thing.

I, however, love everything about this.

[chaifootsteps]

Chai the wonderful tea that you are. I've been here and there and mostly absent. Mostly because of real life stuff and generally being low-key triggered by recent events (not to tmi but the combination of the awful way Viv and Hazbin has been tackling SA and the fact a certain upcoming football game will have the exact same teams as a really really bad night for me and...well I know you get what I'm saying). Also people being stupid lol. Watching some claim that being critical of the hotel means you're homophobic, sexist, and racist is really funny. Especially when they point at me, a bi woman of color who is a latina (Afro-Latina actually but really Chai, I'm a mutt. The kind of "what are you" mixed variety). Also, considering how my hispanic side of the family treats me, my siblings, and black people in general, literally none of Medranal's questionable treatment of her characters surprised me. But I've been here! Watched as many episodes on the high seas as I could before it felt like my spleen exploded and my face has been stuck in a scowl for weeks now. I've entered my spleenless RBF era I'm afraid. In other good news, if my brain doesn't try to play a fast one on me and self destruct, I'll be heading to California for my anthropology research in the spring! (I've changed the topic three times pls send help). Hope you're doing better than okay and I wish only the best for you!

~ shitcastle anon

Aww, thank you for the good wishes! Good luck to you, your brain, and your late spleen, and best of luck on your future research!

[chaifootsteps]

Hope you've been doing well, my favorite Chai. Between my research, book writing, and trauma I've been here and there but still in the background peeking at the fire that continues to burn toxic fumes that fill me with nausea and dread. What a time to be alive. Hope you're doing better than alright! Also I may have booped you once or five times.

~ shitcastle anon

Glad to hear from you, my favorite Shitcastle Anon! Glad to hear you're keeping busy and that the fumes aren't getting to you too much.

Good luck on your research and book writing, and thanks for the boops!

[chaifootsteps]

Anon roll call? Looks like I've gotta come back. Shitcastle anon here, I've been busy but you better bet I'd take the chance to say hi to everyone.

Anyways, I'm 24 and majoring in Anthropology. Used to double major with creative writing, but all my dreams are dead. I still write and draw but not nearly as much as I used to. When it comes to vivzipop, hell. I literally remember getting some kind of ad for Hazbin Hotel before it came out and thought it looked interesting bc I love animation and was in need of a new indie series to watch bc the previous one I was interested in stopped updating indefinitely. I liked it when it first premiered. I was excited for the team when they were picked up by A24. I refused to watch Helluva Boss for awhile because 'it wasn't Hazbin'. But I like Brandon Rogers and have a horrible sense of humor and watched it since episode 2 kept showing up in my recommended. I liked it. Thought it was too fast paced and thought loo loo land should've taken place later in the season and some jokes relied too heavily on the fact that its an adult animation but ehhh heyy what do I know, it's not like the university I'm attending has a stelar arts program or nothing (oh wait it does) flaws exist in all media it's fine farther. I even drew fanart (it was ugly her designs confuse me). Then I introduced my abusive ex to the show and we watched every episode together when it came out. I associate the show with him now. He kins Blitzo (should've been a red flag tbh). So since I was consuming just so much red, I decided to watch youtubers who watch the red and talk about the red. Enter Ayy Lmao. Enter Ken. Here comes the video he made on Ken and my surprised pikachu face at how he responded to it. I never knew about any of the controversies until his abysmal retelling of each and every time Viv even spoke. I went to different social media sites to see so much ass kissing and not enough ass being held accountable. Felt like I was trapped in a room full of flat earthers. But the beloved critical tag existed and I learned so much that I went from happily watching to watching out of wanting to see the story progress to desperately wanting something to be good. The last episode I watched was happy campers I think.

Ok this is too long now and I forgot what else I was supposed to say. Love you What If anon and Taxidermy anon!

It's a delight to get to know the person behind the funniest anon name of the bunch!

[chaifootsteps]

I've watched tumblr actively eat asks I've tried to send four times. Right in front of me. As if I am nothing but the dust along the backside of an appliance. You win this time Medranal.

-shitcastle anon

Don't let her win, Shitcastle Anon! Now we definitely need to hear what you have to say!

[chaifootsteps]

Shitcastle anon here to say that I forgot what I was going to say lol. I've got an awful infection and it feels like my very big and very wrinkly brain pulses every time I cough. I'm confused most of the time and can't think straight but I gotta go back to uni and finish my degree so now I'm suffering. My bird is also suffering because she knows if I die no one will be around to feed her. I still send you my love and hope you're doing very yes.

Best wishes to you and your brain and your bird, Shitcastle Anon! Take care and feel better soon!

[chaifootsteps]

Shitcastle anon here, I temporarily died. After seeing Striker and Crimson in the last episode, I rolled my eyes so hard they got stuck in the back of my head. Anyways, Fizz is like a bright sparkling seashell on Vivs shitty castle and I wanna take it away from her before it starts to stink

You have the tongue and soul of a poet, Shitcastle anon. Also agreed completely.

[chaifootsteps]

Hi Chai, same anon who added onto shitcastle anon's Protagonist Barbie Wire idea and thought up Blitz/Seir, back with another "what if". What if Glitz and Glam were actually written as parallels to Fizz?

Instead of just being another set of women viv wants us to hate, have them being hardworking yet optimistic women who see this Mammon contest as a way to move up in the world. This could explain why they're so mean to Fizz when they first meet him, as he's the one person stopping them from making it big, and from their perspective his involvement in the contest could just come off as gatekeeping the new talent from getting a glamorous job. Only for this assumption to be shattered when the girls hear "2 minute notice" and realize how abusive their would-be boss is.

This could lead to a scene right before Mammon disappears where he's like "oh well I don't need you, not with the twins here taking your place" only for Glitz and Glam to leave, not wanting to work in such an abusive environment. The girls could give a quick sorry to Fizz on their way out, or maybe have them give their own fuck you to Mammon.

Hope you have a great day Chai! Signed, the What If Anon

This would have been such a simple, easy, but powerful addition it makes me legit mad that we didn't get something like this.

[chaifootsteps]

You know, Stolitz made me remember I had a love at first site playdate with a kid when I was a small child.

It started when I accidentally caused my little brother to slam his face into the wooden frame of his bed which led to his tears and blood to flow freely everywhere (totally wasn't my fault and a story for another time). We went to the hospital since he had a lil booboo and my mom babies him. At the hospital, while waiting for the doctor to tell my crying mother that my crying brother was okay, I saw him.

A cute little boy my age with black hair that was styled just like how every single boy in the early 2000s had his hair (ty Zac Efron for normalizing bad haircuts). He was playing with one of the video games the childrens hospital waiting room had to keep brats like me entertained. I can't remember for the life of me what the game was, just a bunch of colors. I thought, "hey, I like video games (my dad stole a bunch from his job bc we were poor) he likes video games...this is clearly something special." We played games together which eventually led to us running around the hospital waiting room, chasing each other and having fun. We spent the whole evening into the night together (hospitals suck) and while I didn't steal anything to give to my dad (not this time anyways) we literally had a moment where after running we fell onto our backs giggling. It was fun, I was in love. Until the other parents got annoyed by our antics and our parents separated us, forcing us to sit with them on opposite sides of the hospital while we were scolded in our mothers native tongue (he was Asian and my mom is Puerto Rican). We soberly looked at each other from across the room, sad and heartbroken. Then the worst part, my mom became fed up of waiting. Decided we should go home. With an iron grip, she marched me out of the room, out of the hospital (stopping by the vending machine first) and out of his life. We could only stare, tears in our eyes as I waved my saddest goodbye. He waved back. And I never saw him again.

Twenty years later and there's no way I'd recognize him if he came up to me lol. Let alone want "my first crush and friend" to ravish me.

-shitcastle anon

Hahaha! What a story, Shitcastle Anon!

(Unironically a better love story than Stolitz.)

[chaifootsteps]

So, I really desire a show of hands from all the ‘named’ anons here. What age range have we got, what’s your gender and why does this whole affair drive you to frustration?

I’m ten years older than Vivziepop, female, artist, love the animation industry, don’t like Viv’s influence over young upcoming artists, used to be a friend to Viv when she first arrived on the Internet but cut her off after she started showing toxic symptoms. Now I see it’s all gone to her head.

Where are my brothers in arms? Metallica Anon, Shitcastle Anon, Skibbidy Toilet Anon? You too Chai! ;-)

- Taxidermy Anon

My name is Chai, certified Fandom Old, fell in love with Viv's stuff with Die Young and started falling out of it when she dropped the pilot cast and lied about it. Believe it or not, this blog used to be a quiet place where I infodumped about my crapass OCs and extremely elaborate Dr. Seuss headcanons.

[chaifootsteps]

Hi, this ask is dedicated to shitcastle anon, who's "Protagonist Barbie Wire" idea has deeply inspired me. I love Barbie Wire and her potential so much, so here are some more ideas!

In this AU, I.M.P would get to earth through Verosika's spare Asmodean Crystal, who she lends to Barbie in exchange for a cut of I.M.P's profits. I've always liked the parallels between these two, as they're both women who suffer from addiction and had or have careers in entertainment, which could help them understand eachother in ways that others couldn't. Barbie could help Verosika with her alcoholism, maybe even using some tricks they learned in rehab to help. Meanwhile, Verosika could be someone Barbie can talk to, about fame and betrayal and just how hard it is to stay clean, with the two being someone the other can rely on when others can't understand what they've been through.

...And maybe they kiss. Who knows. Not me.

Disagreed. They definitely kiss.

[chaifootsteps]

Shitcastle Anon, Weed Anon, Shit-Nest Anon, Taxidermy Anon, Metallica Anon… and Chai.

I love you guys. 😂

[chaifootsteps]

I’m gonna be honest, being a part of this humble collection of named anons has been so much more fun than watching the second season of Helluva Boss ever was. Welcome back Shitcastle Anon, and welcome to the family Weed Anon! Save some brownies for me, will ya? —Shit-Nest Anon

The gang's all here!

[chaifootsteps]

How many ‘named’ anons do we have now? Weed Anon, Taxidermy Anon, Shitcastle Anon… I feel like these people are true brethren in showcasing the truth along with our gracious host Chai.

"Our gracious host Chai," I like that. Makes me feel like the emcee from Cabaret, or the Crypt Keeper, or some unholy combination thereof.

[chaifootsteps]

All hail to you Shitcastle Anon. It was actually me, Taxidermy Anon who found your comments so amusing. Thank you for the belly chuckles! I needed that. 😂

[chaifootsteps]

“If I could compare lackadaisy and helluva boss, I'd explain it like this. Imagine Tracy and Vivzie are making sandcastles. Both start out making a nice and sturdy base. But Tracy has outlines and knows what to do and what to make, how high each column should be and every little detail about the sandcastle and is steadily making it bigger. Meanwhile, Viv has her base formed, realized it wasn't as great as she wanted it to be, and took a massive shit in the sand and is currently trying to cover the shitcastle in more sand while trying to say that the castle was always meant to look like that.”

Can I just say, that this brilliant Anon’s original comment and your reply, Chai, really, really made my day with such belly chuckles. That’s the funniest thing I’ve read all week. And sadly, it’s true. Lackadaisy has done everything by the book and Vivzie just scribbled all over the cover of hers, with a couple of childish swear words thrown in for good measure.

And a liberal amount of dick doodles for good measure.

Glad Shitcastle Anon and I could make you smile!