#shitalissasays.txt

[narutos-ass]

I’m constantly torn between wanting to kill myself and telling myself to sit down and shut up because I have a lot of life left to live and people that will miss me and be hurt by my absence.

I want to die, essentially, because I’m too afraid to live.

But I’m also too afraid to die, so I’m stuck in this weird limbo.

And I’d actually rather die than go back to the psych ward.

[xlissas]

i am the thirstiest motherfucker tonight and i am sORRY

[narutos-ass]

i know i can function outside of a relationship bc i’ve done it most of my life and he stopped showing me any real affection a while ago, but man the intimacy craving is so strong which isn’t fair to me or any potential partner(s) because i do still love him and i’m just vulnerable and want attention

i just want someone to call me pretty and maybe you know not emotionally abandon me

[narutos-ass]

i know my narusaku posts arent as frequent but if you think i dont absolutely adore them even now and wont be reblogging the shit out of them for the entirety of april YOU ARE MISTAKEN

[narutos-ass]

Suddenly overwhelmed with the need to kiss my dumb boyfriend and i’m drowning in my own feelings for no reason other than i realized just how much shit i want to protect him from and i can’t do that 8 hours away and adadhajdsjhajskdhajskdh *screams* GET OVER HERE AND LOVE ME!!!!

[narutos-ass]

i will never understand how my bf goes literally 3 fucking days without talking to me or opening my messages

[narutos-ass]

Hi so not only am i back i am back bc i watched the first 3 episodes of ladybug and i am shook i tell you SHOOK

[narutos-ass]

me, in 2014: it’ll take me a year or so but i’ll get over it 

me, in 2017: i’m saltier than the dead sea and sakura deserved better

[narutos-ass]

listen. the fact that i’m obsessed with figuring out if i have ocd should be an indicator right? yet here i am, still awake, not taking my fucking sleep meds.

[narutos-ass]

why do i need to be in constant contact with people 

and by people i mean my boyfriend, if he’s not talking to me i get really stressed out, even if he’s at work and when he’s at work i have to remind myself that’s where he is and

i’m tired i don’t wanna be like this 

[narutos-ass]

i think i’m gonna read love square and korrasami fic and cry bc for some reason i can’t bring myself to read the default: narusaku AND i’m so touch starved it hurts

[narutos-ass]

i wanna start (read: finish) bnha but i also wanna start voltron and help i can’t make decisions

[narutos-ass]

ok so obvs i know no one on tumblr is a mental health expert but i still want opinions from someone who isn’t my father. and i’m going to the doctor monday so i’ll ask her as well, but: 

if someone has comorbid mental illnesses (for me, GAD, social phobia, major depressive disorder, and binge eating disorder, though i feel even this is an incomplete diagnosis), do you think each illness should be treated one at a time? or at the same time, as a group of illnesses that constantly feed into each other?

[narutos-ass]

me: man i miss making narusaku content, look at all this great stuff everyone is making

also me, a chronically mentally ill fuck always on their bullshit: *plays stardew valley non stop for a week straight*

[narutos-ass]

legit dying to kiss my boyfriend

[narutos-ass]

sleep meds are kicking in but I just keep thinking about how badly I wish I was about to fall asleep next to my boyfriend and his arms would be around me and it'd be so warm and quiet but no he's 8 hours away and lately I've been obsessed with the thought of our first visit because we actually talked about it for once and I don't know when it'll happen because of his anxiety but talking about it somehow made my impatience worse and I just wanna be with him and kiss him and love him but I can't I'm not allowed to yet and I hate his ex for fucking him up I hate her