#shit’s tenseee

[a-lil-perspective]

Silver Lining

Vigilante work means Crosshair can no longer spend as much time with the girls. Breaking the news to Cyare is harder than he thought.

Just a lil somthin meant to be a couple lines but ya know lol.

———

A sharp, staccato rap on the door has Cyare’s pulse quickening as she heaves herself up from the refresher floor on shaky legs, lost to all sense of time as she spends yet another night favoring the vacc tube in her delicate, yet all-too-familiar state. She lumbers through the dimly-lit house to the front door where she unlocks the deadbolt and swings it open to the familiar visitor.

“Crosshair, it’s—” she turns and squints back into the house, “—three in the morning,” she croaks, a cumbersome fatigue rapidly dissipating at the sight of the solemn sharpshooter before her. “What are you doing here? I mean, you know you’re always welcome but—”

“Cyare.” He cuts her off. “A word?”

She blinks away the last remnants of exhaustion, and Crosshair moves for her to step out onto the lit porch with him, closing the door softly behind her. A stray chill ripples through her, and she folds her arms across her chest. “What’s going on?”

Crosshair takes a deep breath, cutting right to the chase. But he looks pained, and Cyare’s gaze is trained on him raptly as he stumbles over his words. “I… can’t have your children over anymore.”

Her mouth parts softly in surprise, confusion swirling her features. “I don’t… understand…” She gasps as she has a sudden epiphany. “What did they do to your rifle,” she breathes, utterly aghast. “Hang on, I’m going to get Hunter—”

“No, Cyare, listen,” Crosshair’s grip on her arm is firm as he pulls her away from the door and back to him. Gently, assuredly. He waits for the baffled expression she wears to slowly subside. “They did nothing wrong.” But he’s tense. “And I would prefer to keep this between us.”

Cyare squares her shoulders as he gently releases her. “I’m listening.”

Crosshair blows out a weary breath, skimming his fingers through the short fibers of his hair. “I’ll be out of touch for awhile… working. Things will be… different from now on. They won’t be able to come over unless I’m there. And even then…” his lips press to a grim line. “I can’t guarantee their safety.”

It’s brief, but her eyes widen in understanding.

She knows of Crosshair’s interest in the criminal underworld, his insatiable desire for purpose and an eye for the quietly nefarious, his hunger to contend with it - an attribute his brothers have never been quite endorsing of. She knows, it’s an undertaking he accepts with his entire being in spite of.

“How long will you be… ‘working’?” she asks tactfully.

“I don’t have an answer to that.”

She nods and closes her eyes, lifting her head to the open night sky. “Tell me the silver lining at least.”

His breathing is dormant, like he’s inwardly resigned to an answer he’s rehearsed a thousand times up until this point. “I’m trying to make the galaxy a safer place. For you. For her.” His eyes leave hers for the briefest of moments. “For my nieces. It’s my duty.”

Cyare hums thoughtfully. “Sounds like hero’s work.”

“Hero’s never been my style.”

Cyare purses her lips, leaning against the nearest support beam along the veranda. She eyes him for a long moment. “You’re not going to tell her, are you?”

He’s been bracing for that question, tossing it back and forth in his mind over and over, letting it torment him, knowing the answer will cause a singular amount of strife in his marriage. “No.”

Cyare straightens. “Then I won’t either.” A wry smile rearranges her features. “Just be prepared. Us wives… we don’t go easy.”

“Ain’t that the karking truth.”

But he’s mirroring her smirk, allowing himself the sliver of reprieve that comes with their shared humor before Cyare is fading back into her pensive state, and he his.

It’s Crosshair who breaks first.

“I have to do this,” he says more to himself than her.

Cyare nods in understanding, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. Her voice is just barely above a whisper. “…What should I tell the girls when they ask to go see their ‘Ba’vodu Cwoss’.”

Crosshair’s chest tightens. He hadn’t thought about that. He hadn’t thought about that at all. “Tell them I…” something heavy passes across his face. He suddenly doesn’t trust himself to speak. He stiffens. “Tell them whatever you want.”

Cyare makes a sour face. “That’s a lousy option,” she mumbles, unfazed by the sniper’s sudden facade of detachment. Her eyes slowly make their way to his. He’s crumbling softly - but so is she. “Will we see you again soon?”

Crosshair’s face is carefully neutral. “I hope so.”

Cyare can’t stop herself as she surges forth and throws her arms around his neck, squeezing her eyes shut to negate the overwhelming ache. She lets out a shaky breath over his shoulder. “Promise me you’ll be careful.”

His hands find their way to her back, warm and resolute, and he’s pulling her impossibly close. “I can’t do that.”

Her arms tighten around his neck. “Stay alive, then.”

She feels him smile into her shoulder, that blessed confidence that blooms in accordance with his skill. “Now that I can do.”

His hands linger in lieu of the unspoken, things he can’t bring himself to ask, not here, not now in his fragile state that Cyare is already cognizant of after years of knowing him, his drive. Her hand cradles the back of his head knowingly. “I’ll keep an eye on her,” she promises. “Don’t worry.”

Crosshair knows he needs to go, to disembark, with every second he stays blanketed by his kryptonite of emotions he further lays bare his inadequacies. He needs to go, back home to his wife, abate this sordid ache in his chest that comes with leaving her, deceiving her even if it’s for her own good. So he tells himself.

His shoulders sag in what Cyare knows to be a plethora of unspoken things - gratitude most of all. “I know you will.”

Cyare continues to hold him for as long as she can, until Crosshair separates her from his chest with finality. “He’ll smell me on you.”

“I’ll come up with something,” she assures, looking at him with imploring eyes and an undying support after all these years. There’s an irrevocable fondness for his brother’s sagely wife, her debt of humanity that he can never repay. “If you need anything,” she breathes. “Comm me.”

“I will,” he lies.

“I can help,” she pushes.

“Yes. You’re my first choice at three months pregnant.”

“I—” Cyare sputters in surprise, “How did you know?”

He doesn’t look her in the eye. “It’s about that time again.”

Cyare clears her throat. “Right.”

His gaze makes its way back to her, her home. He nods behind her. “You’d better go inside. He’ll be wondering.” His eyes soften. “Get some rest.”

She opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out. Watching Crosshair retreat, the heavy feeling sediments in her chest all at once and she reaches for his hand before she can stop herself. “Hey.”

His eyes meet hers a final time.

She squeezes. “Remember there are people who love you. Aliit.”

He gives a stiff nod. “Family.”

She watches Crosshair descend the steps of her home and make his way into the night, into the cold and vast Galaxy.

***

“You alright?” Hunter asks groggily as she slips back under the covers, his hand finding its way to her midsection with immediacy. “D’you get sick again?”

“I’m alright,” she breathes, letting his brawny arm cuddle her to his chest.

There’s silence and she thinks he might’ve drifted back to sleep, until he’s planting his nose in the crook of her neck and inhaling deeply.

“Crosshair was here.”

A pause. Her throat is tight.

“Yes.” She answers truthfully.

“What did he want?” Hunter asks sharply.

She’s thankful for the concealment of shadows and the fact that her back is to him. “Said the girls can’t come over for a bit, he’ll be out of town.”

“Doing what?” Hunter demands.

Cyare makes a noncommittal sound. “I didn’t ask.”

“He felt the need to tell you this at three a-m?”

Cyare shrugs. “Guess he had a lot on his mind.”

“Anything he shared with you?”

“Nope.”

There’s a colossal shift in the air that’s suffocating, and Cyare silently curses the way her muscles are slowly tensing as she awaits Hunter’s response behind her.

“I’ll comm him later.”

“Good idea.”

[jeanvanjer]

Not that I believe the second season will be without certain faults but I've been reading some of your asks and two things I'd like to just mention: I do agree that Edwina in the books wasn't just a one-note character, given how she is the supposed diamond yet doesn't really care to marry for status or money, and knows what she really wants, but is still kind of torn about it vs marrying well enough for her family to be OK in the future. But I also feel like some of the show's most significant changes might be warranted given the changes to the Sharma family in general. Idk how much Mary's former status as a lady plays into all this, but I could see Edwina's decision to go through with marrying Anthony being a combination of "I want my family to be ok after this", and possibly (?) want to marry in a prosperous match given how its likely that the ton still remembers her mother's scandal. Not that she'd be embarrassed about it but like, maybe think that going through with it would allow her mother to be looked at differently afterwards. Again, this is just speculation from my side, I feel like we'll really have to watch it in order to see just what happens bc I feel like Anthony in particular is to blame with going further than he should with all of this with Edwina despite having feelings for Kate.

Another note is that I also def agree with the almost-marriage being great fodder for drama for the GA. Some book fans really seem to hate it but as I thought about it I found it was a funny similarity to some of the Bollywood movies I've seen. Like however it ends, there's some pretty famous ones that feature an almost-done wedding that is only stopped RIGHT before the ceremony commences. My main concern will be how Edwina ends up in all of this because I'd hate for all of this to cause a problem with her own social standing + potential happiness later on. So I'm mainly hoping they don't just forget about her after this. But for the rest I'm kind of excited to see just what happens, bc a lot of reviewers have said that this season also feels more emotionally mature.

I think showing us that while Kate means well but Edwina feels as if she’s not clearly being heard would’ve been a nice way to present and ultimately resolve a familial conflict. Kate apparently has trained Edwina and this along with his Book Eddie was it would’ve made, for me, a very complex arc for Edwina. Anthony is definitely to blame for the wedding nonsense no matter what. Man’s an idiot. I don’t know what his reason is maybe he’s all “it’s my duty and bonus if I do this then I can forget her sister” which makes zero sense but when has Anthony had any of that? Even if Edwina was a complete witch, the marriage thing is on Anthony. He courts and proposed and she accepts.

I think the Bollywood bangers from the late 90s to early 2000s have conditioned me into thinking the wedding isn’t so bad. I mean I’ve talked to mutuals and friends about how horrible it sounds and then I’ll think “wtf are you talking about Zee, all the movies you like have this trend” so yeah it’s gonna be tenseee but it’s fiction and clearly everyone’s happy so it’s all whatever.

I like the tone of the season for Kanthony and maybe the pacing works in a way where they use that ensemble shit to have these characters come back to entertain us more.

[crestfallen-infatuation]

I feel like I'm in a domestic violence situation at work fr...

My coworkers are fighting like a couple

The hushed whisper arguments they have when I'm around, the passive aggressive comments, the slamming shit on tables or hitting walls.. lol

Shit is tenseee..