#shit forgot to mention it had angst
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animelover20 · 9 months ago
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Guess who has motivation to finish their doffy Christmas fic after 7 months😃
I think my writing may have gotten a bit better too but I don't know if that's just my imagination. I can't wait to get this over and done with.
And for the people who may be confused. I have really bad writers block and have been trying to do a Christmas fic for bbg doffy since December.. atleast it's finally getting done and it's not gonna be a draft.
If you want more information about it then you could probably search 'the fucker writes' and it alongside a few other doffy wips will appear, im not gonna go into too much detail in this post since I have another one so yeah.
Anyway this bitch has been bugging me since I was going through my drafts(gods there's like 70 now)So I've decided to just fuckin do it. No I do not care that it's July.
Btw if you want to be tagged in it when's it's posted please do let me know,whether it be comments,asks,or even dms. If you want to know more I'd be willing to share some of the plot if you ask nicely.
Aside from that there's not much else to say.
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bugs-with-webs · 1 month ago
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discord thoughts bitches:
sonic has a grave for shadow. only he knows about it. he thought about telling rouge or amy, but he never got around to it.
he made it after the fall. after shadows death. after sonic failed to save him.
since he couldnt save him from death, he could at least save him in death. he knew shadow wouldnt be forgotten, hed live on in rouge and amy and sonics and the others memories, but sonic wanted something physical. so he made a grave. its shitty. its just a normal rock with 'Shadow the Hedgehog' written on it with sharpie. but its better than nothing.
after shadows death sonic would spend a lot of his time there. hed talk about things he wished shadow couldve seen and done and experience, and he cried each time, knowing that would never happen.
he didnt stop visiting the grave after shadow came back.
he still went there, to talk about him, current him. things he wanted to do with him, things he think hed like, his thoughts on him. anything sonic felt like he couldnt tell shadow, hed say outloud to the grave.
maybe shadow finds it one day. he asks sonic what it is. and sonic says (embarrassed) that he wanted shadow to be remembered, and that was the best he could do at that time. he thinks shadow would think its stupid.
shadow didnt think anyone cared. no one aside from himself cared enough to give maria a grave, why would anyone care to give him one?
but sonic did. sonic cared.
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jks1uv · 1 month ago
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𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑂𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝐸𝑥𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 ; mark grayson / invincible
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summary: in every universe, mark grayson turns into his father and seals his destiny as a true viltrumite. what if things are different this time?
pairing: fem!reader x mark grayson.
trope: childhood best friends to lovers + fate gives love a chance.
genre: fluff + angst + slow-burn romance + hurt / comfort + some comedy.
warnings‼️: crude language + spoilers for s3 (mark’s variants) + amber & eve never get w mark but r goated wingwomen & friends for reader + william, rick & rex r goated wingmen for mark + 2 jealous!mark moments + the tiniest moment of tension + multiverse talk + a mention of the chicago incident feat. scott / powerplex + REX LIVES 🗣️‼️🔥🔥 + a short & sweet kiss scene.
word count: 9,975.
random disclaimerrr: when eve said “you don’t deserve this” 😞 like he always just out here suffering 💔 kate, immortal, cecil & scott pmo so bad like bruh can y’all just pls stfu pls 🙏🏽 I CANNOT BELIEVE MY GOAT REX IS DEAD LIKE BRUH HOW 😭😞💔 but the 2 ppl majority of the fandom hates get their happy ending… mkay… happy reading! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ ♡ © 2025 @jks1uv
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Mark Grayson has always liked you.
It was the first day of school, 2nd grade homeroom. The first day of school was always nerve wracking but this time was different.
His desk was next to you per the seating chart and you were the last kid to come in.
You were wearing a black t-shirt with some white bows on it and sky blue jeans with pink flowers embroidered on the pockets. White twinkle toes with pink and purple rhinestones.
Your hair was styled in 2 ponytails with cute bows on the bands.
Your eyes bright and a shy smile on your lips.
“Hi.” You bashfully said to him.
“Hi.” He said back in a daze.
His seven year old heart was fluttering and he was as red as a tomato when he realized it was you! You were the girl whose empty desk he was seated next to!
You always shared homeroom, if not, recess with him in elementary school.
Then came middle school, where you had at least 2 classes with him.
High school was a bit easier as you saw him 3-4 times a day, and that’s not including clubs or other extracurricular activities.
He spent 11 years like that. Seeing you in class, in the hallways, at lunch or after school.
Your relationship with him never wavered. Your character was still the same even after new chapters and opportunities for development.
He’s endured some insane shit, but he’s so happy the one constant in his life remained consistent.
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“You still have a crush on her?!”
“Shut up, William. Or do you want the whole world to know.” Mark chides.
William snorts like it’s the most obvious thing in the world (it is). “The whole world already knows, it’s just your dumbass that’s somehow oblivious.”
“Give the lover boy a break.” Amber lightly teases.
Mark sighs and rubs his face with his hands, trying to hide the redness creeping up on him without his consent.
“Is that her?” Rick points towards Mark’s dream girl.
But what he forgot to mention was the living explosion (literally) walking alongside you.
“What’s he doing here?” Eve’s surprised Rex decided to step foot on college campus willingly.
William subtly side-eyes Mark and makes a desperate attempt to hold in his laughter by squeezing Rick’s hand.
Mark slowly stands, a confused look on his face.
“I’ll… go find out.” He says it like a question, like he’s unsure if that’s what he should do.
Amber and Eve share a knowing look.
“You’re funny.” You say as you catch your breath.
Rex shrugs nonchalantly and smirks. “Yeah, I get that a lot.”
You’re shaking your head and are about to say something when you see Mark in front of you.
“Mark.” Your eyes crinkle as you smile.
You go in for your usual hug and Mark accepts it.
Unbeknownst to you that he’s making wide eyes among other facial expressions in a desperate attempt to make contact with the other male.
The hug lasts for a second longer and you ignore the butterflies that swarm your belly, deducing that he probably just wanted to hug you a bit longer.
No big deal you think as you’re screaming inside the longer you feel Mark’s arms around your waist.
When you meet Mark’s face, he allows himself to give you a tight-lipped smile.
“Mark, this is-”
“Rex! Heyy, how’s it going?” He chuckles nervously and rubs the back of his neck.
Your eyebrows furrow and you tilt your head a bit. “Yeah… wait, you guys know each other?”
Rex is enthusiast with his reply. “Fuck yeah! This is my best bro.”
He slaps Mark’s back with a confident grin and the “bro” laughs awkwardly.
You know, one of those ‘ha ha ha’ type laughs.
“Okay. So, um, Mark?”
“Yeah?” Aaand his voice cracks.
You politely ignore it but Mark wants to die inside.
“I was wondering if you were still down to go to the mall?”
Mark knows you’re attentive and take your friendships seriously, which isn’t old news. But he can’t help feeling special that’s you remembered a thought from a couple days prior.
“Only if you’ll buy me boba.”
Mark never lets you buy him anything if he can help it, and that’s how it’s always been.
You insist, he’ll deny; but that doesn’t mean his sentiment isn’t nice.
You blink and softly smile at his bargain. “Deal.”
Rex hums thoughtfully, a hand at his chin and his gaze on the sky.
“Can I join? I don’t have anything going onnn~” He suggests in a sing-song manner.
“No, you can’t!” Mark suddenly yells.
You look at Mark with furrowed brows. “Mark, don’t be rude.”
“Yeah, Mark, don’t be rude.” Rex repeats with a sly expression.
Mark deeply exhales through his nose and puts on a fake smile. “Rex, can I talk to you? Alone.”
“Sure!”
He follows Mark about 15 steps away from you.
You decide to sit down on a bench nearby and watch some TikTok to pass the time.
“Hey, so, um- quick question: what the hell are you doing here?”
Rex scoffs. “What, I can’t come visit my bro?”
Mark quirks an eyebrow and crosses his arms, unimpressed.
Rex puts his hands up in surrender. “Fine, fine. I’ll be honest. I was here to talk to you about Cecil,” He looks over at you and sighs dramatically.
“But?” Mark presses when he sees Rex eyeing you.
“I see a hot girl and I can’t help myself, you know?” He smirks knowing he’ll rile Mark up and get the exact reaction he wants.
Mark immediately gets in his line of sight, making Rex back up a bit from the fast and unforgiving wind.
“Woah, man! A little warning next time before you almost blow me away?”
Mark ignores him. “Don’t call her that.”
The truth is, Rex came to campus with a purpose.
Mark never talks about you, but Eve may have let your name slip into conversation a few times.
Rex may be aloof and jerk-ish but he’ll be serious when it’s time.
He’s seen the way Mark’s face changed every time Eve mentioned you; his head would tilt slightly, he’d have a small, unnoticeable smile on his lips.
Rex suspected a crush and he was right! Of course he was, look at the way he’s being defensive of you.
There was just one problem, he didn’t know how you looked. He asked Eve and she was suspicious, but when he revealed his own suspicions, she indulged him.
So, the two of them made a plan with Amber, William and Rick; Operation: Get Mark To Man Up and Admit His Feelings Before You Slip Away.
- FLASHBACK -
“She’s wearing a PINK t-shirt with ripped blue jeans. Oh, and a black backpack.” William directs.
“Pink shirt, black backpack, ripped blue jeans. Got it.”
“PINK as in the brand, not the color.” Amber reminds.
“Wait, what? So what color is the shirt?”
“I’m pretty sure it’s dark green..? And the logo is an even darker shade. ” Eve remembers.
Rex is so unimpressed.
“So, let me get this straight; she’s wearing a shirt from the brand PINK, but it’s just dark green?”
“I’d say you’re on the right track.” Rick chimes.
“This shit is ridiculous. I mean, seriously. Why can’t you girls just wear stuff that warrant normal descriptions?”
“Shut up, Rex.” Amber and Eve say simultaneously.
- FLASH FORWARD -
“Alright, her unwanted, meddling knight in shining armor.”
Mark is about to defend himself against that true baseless allegation when William and Rick find him.
“What’re we gossiping about?”
There’s a glint in William’s eyes, the kind you don’t miss if you’re paying attention to the very specific lilt in his tone.
“Oh, I was just telling Marky boy here,”
Mark side-eyes Rex at the ridiculous nickname.
“How he’s Y/n’s unwanted, meddling knight in shining armor.”
William claps his hands together. “That’s actually an accurate assessment.”
Mark’s offended. “Whose side are you on, anyway?”
Rick clears his throat as a guise to hide the very subtle laugh itching his throat.
“Sassy.” William says impressed in his best friends comeback skills.
Rex gets a phone call and excuses himself, giving William a crisp high-five and Rick a chest bump.
“Go get your Juliet, Romeo!” He cheers.
William shakes his head as he guffaws at the man.
“Dude, he's hilarious. How come you've never introduced him to us before?”
“Do I really have to answer that?”
William rolls his eyes at him.
“Anyways. When are you gonna tell Y/n you love her, again?”
“William!” Mark whines.
Rick smiles and expands his thinking.
“He meant to say, you should tell her soon. Before she's with someone else and leaves you to collect the pieces of your broken heart.”
“Not gonna lie, that's exactly what he needs to hear right now.”
Mark can't lie either. “Yeah. You kinda ate with that.”
William cringes and Rick winces with embarrassment.
“Hey! So, uhh, never say that again. Hope this helps.” William makes a finger heart.
“Wha- but I used the phrase correctly! Oh, come on guys, seriously?”
- MEANWHILE, WITH AMBER & EVE -
Amber and Eve thought it’d be a good idea to have a quick chat with you while you were waiting on Mark.
They casually brought up relationships and basically implied that ‘men ain’t shit’, but you disagree with that attitude.
“I dunno... Mark’s a good guy.”
“Oh yeah, for sure! Mark’s one of the good ones.”
Eve nods along to Amber’s statement.
She reminisced on her fair share with toxic relationships. She deliberately left out how it was with Rex but that’s okay, you don’t need to know that…
“Are you and Mark..?”
You feel your cheeks warm at the thought but you’d be lying if you deny your feelings for him.
“No.” You state with your head down and hands in your lap, playing with a ripped thread on your jeans.
“Huh. That’s a shame.” Eve comments.
That gets your attention.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s just that you and Mark seem…”
“Ideal.” Amber completes smoothly.
Your wide eyes and mouth agape give you away.
“You've never thought about him like that?”
You have, but how do you admit this to Mark’s coworker and friend without it getting back to him?
You think Amber and Eve are cool, they’re nice to you; but they're more Mark’s friends.
To you, they're friends of a friend.
Amber senses your hesitation and sat down next to you.
“We won’t tell anyone, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
Eve locks her lips with an imaginary key and throws it away.
That elicits a small laugh out of you, making you feel a bit more confident to share your secret.
You look over and see Mark and Rex still talking, now joined by William and Rick.
You contemplate for a moment before admitting it.
“Yeah.” You breathe out.
Eve hums in thought. “Let me guess, you don’t want to say anything in case it’ll fuck up the friendship?”
You gasp lightly at her spot-on description. “How’d you know?!”
She just shrugs nonchalantly and Amber bites her tongue to point out how obvious the entire situation is.
“I do like him, a lot... but what if he doesn’t feel the same? I would've ruined something special for something selfish and it would stay with me forever.”
You rant to the 2 girls you’re closest with and somehow, it feels right. You dismiss the thought of them turning out like the average mean girls in a teenage rom-com.
“But what if he does like you back?” Eve proposes.
“Then he’ll have to make the first move.” You shrug obviously.
“I know that’s right.”
You feel giddy from Amber’s approval.
She’s always been the type to keep it short and sweet but once you get her talking? She’ll always keep it real.
“We gotta go but we’ll see you later?”
Eve's already planning on the next hangout because she likes you enough to wanna help. She doesn’t like a lot of people so consider yourself special!
“Oh! Uh- yeah! Sure, that works with me.”
“It’s settled then.”
“See ya, Y/n.”
Coincidentally, you see the boys leave, leaving Mark to come to you.
“Shall we?”
“We shall.”
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“Just let me try it.” Mark whines.
You shook your head and stood your ground. “It'll be gone in under ten seconds.”
He gasps dramatically, a hand to the heart like a lady of the opera. “You don't have faith in me?! I am a superhero-”
“I'm sure that's what they say.”
Your sarcasm isn’t foreign but he grows quiet at the remark.
It just slipped out so easily, without care or regard. You immediately try to make it right.
“I’m sorry, Mark.”
“No, no. It’s okay. You didn’t mean it like that.”
Ever the sweetheart but you refuse.
“No, it isn’t.” You stop walking. “I was careless with what I said and it’s not right.”
He looks at you with appreciation and gives you a smile. “Thank you, Y/n. It feels nice to be seen as I am.”
That both warms and saddens your heart.
You know how much he’s been through and even though you’ll never truly understand, you know he can still count on you. You’ll be there for him and that’s gotta mean something.
“Of course.”
You and Mark spend the next hour chatting and idly checking out things in the stores.
You wander into the dress and gown section and are completely in awe of the collection. Every color you can think of in every style: silky, thigh cut, halter top, strapless.
Your hands run through the material and you’re reminded of the spring formal coming up soon.
Not everyone gets the chance of going but you have a friend who extended the courtesy of inviting you and a plus one.
You recall the last time you went to a dance: your senior year of high school's prom. It was memorable. You were a part of a small group that went together; consisting of your friends.
You took photos with Mark and danced with him for a bit but not like anything you wished. There's nothing romantic about screaming club anthem lyrics while getting twerked on but since it was Mark's ass, you didn’t complain.
That was the first and last time he accepted drinks from William, by the way.
You chuckle quietly to yourself in memory of that glorious night when Mark comes up behind you.
"You ready to go or do you wanna try some of them on?"
You take another look at the gorgeous dresses and think.
Mark's hoping you say yes.
He won't admit it anytime soon and despite him already thinking you're the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen, prom night solidified that for him.
You had him starstruck.
His hear stuttered, adrenaline rushed through his veins and conjured up a swarm of butterflies in his stomach.
SImply put, every feeling and action that describes a man in awe of a pretty lady was an accurate depiction of him.
“Nah, maybe some other time.” You decide.
Mark nods, looking forward to the future dress tryouts. “Okay.”
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Later, you have dinner with Mark, Oliver and Debbie.
Mark flew out and brought home some authentic pasta and garlic bread from Italy.
You rolled your eyes playfully and claimed he was being “extra” but reevaluated your statement when you thought about it.
If you could move that fast, you'd go to another country to have their finest food as well.
“It's so good to have you, honey.”
Debbie was always so nice to you, it made you feel happy and proud of yourself knowing someone's mom wholeheartedly accepts your presence in their kids life.
“It's good to be here.”
“Are you gonna stay the night?!” The purple little boy asked full of hope.
You didn't want to let him down but you had no choice.
“I'm sorry, Oliver, but not tonight.” You ruffle his hair and give him an apologetic smile.
You know he's bummed out when he doesn't sound that infectious laugh and tell you you're messing up his hair.
“Oh.”
You feel Mark's gaze on you and when you look up, he offers a sympathetic smile.
“I can stay until it's time for you to sleep.”
You know you've got him, it's an offer he can't refuse.
He's all smiles now and hugs you by the waist, his head laying on your chest.
You smile and hug him back, your head laying on his.
Mark cleans the table and Oliver takes out the trash while you help Debbie with the dishes.
“It doesn't matter how many times I say “no”, does it?”
You hum and shake your head. “Nope.”
You make small talk while you dry after she scrubs and rinses. About college, your plans after college, Mark.
“What about him?” You wonder.
“I mean, how has be been since...”
You see a look of helplessness on her face.
Debbie may be his mother but even she is not immune to the conflict of secrecy in her son's life.
You instantly feel bad.
Mark always tells you everything but to have his own mom ask you things about her son makes the situation complex.
You turn your head over your shoulder and see Mark playing a video game with his baby brother.
When Mark told you about Nolan, what happened to them on Thraxa and the events that unfolded afterwards, you didn't know how to respond.
As if hearing Nolan reveal his plans for Earth and call Debbie a “pet” wasn't heartbreaking enough, you were there with Debbie when Mark was brutally assaulted by his own father.
Then you hear of Nolan's second family he while the first one was still trying to keep it together and deal with the devastating aftermath of the biggest betrayal.
You almost cried when Mark broke down about Angstrom Levy hurting Debbie and Oliver.
You were out of the country on a field trip with your classmates when that happened. Devastated was an understatement for how you felt to hear both Mark and Debbie in the hospital from William.
Mark shamefully admitted to killing Angstrom, thinking that would sever the bond between you two. He expected you to be afraid of him, no matter how awful he’d feel about doing that to you.
It was the total opposite, you embraced him and let him cry on your shoulder. You let him feel everything but you also let him feel your hand in his.
You looked him in the eyes and told him that he did what he had to do and if killing Angstrom was the solution, then so be it.
“Mark told me everything. From seeing Mr. Grayson—”
You see a flash of hurt in Debbie's eyes at the mention of his name and almost forget that before he was known as Omni-Man, he was Mr. Grayson. He was Mark's dad.
“—again and about Oliver. Up until Angstrom and how the last thing he did was hurt you and Oliver.”
Debbie drys her hands and looks out of the window above the sink.
You can tell she’s disassociating. Her eyes seem so far away and crestfallen.
You don’t know if she’s getting much sleep but you also can’t imagine getting any if you were her.
You put a hand on her shoulder and she’s visibly shaken out of her thoughts.
“He’s gonna be okay, and so are you.”
She looks at you like you’ve lit up a candle at the end of a very dark tunnel.
Debbie leans in for a hug, eliciting a small sigh when you strengthen the embrace a little.
You figured she should feel taken care of for once.
“Thank you.”
You hear her sincerity and make a mental note to talk about this with Mark later on.
Oliver is tired out from having a “good playdate” with you and his older brother.
You tuck him in for the night per his request and can't help but feel the warmth from taking care of him touch your heart.
He's a growing boy but despite the many changes one goes through due to that constant stage of life, his feelings for you don't change.
Mark loves how much Oliver loves you. He loves seeing 2 of the most important people in his life get along so well, secretly admiring the way you've grown a soft spot in his mother's heart, too.
“They grow up so fast.” Mark attempts to humor.
You hum and try your best not to cry dwell on the bittersweetness of that phrase.
“Yeah.”
You're sitting on Mark's bed, looking fondly at the one of many drawings the kid made for you.
You softly exhale and bring up the conversation you had earlier with Debbie.
“Mark, I have something I want to talk to you about.”
He looks at you knowingly. “I know.”
Your eyes widen a bit at that revelation. “You do?”
He nods, a pursed smile on his face. “I have super hearing, remember?”
How did you forget that?
You close your eyes and exhale sharply, feeling silly for forgetting that power of his. “Right, duh.”
You don’t want to push the conversation if he’s not feeling it but you want to know if you did the right thing.
“I... didn’t overstep… right?”
“Oh, no. No, you didn’t.”
He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “I… haven’t had the best time talking to her about the things I say to you.”
You nod in understanding.
“I felt bad when she asked you how I’m doing. She should be able to ask me that.”
He’s guilt-stricken and it makes you feel dejected.
“Mark.” You put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I know it’s hard talking to your mom about your inner turmoil but you’re all she has.”
Who does Debbie go to when she wants to discuss the matters of her heart? Who’ll listen when she wants someone to talk to?
“You give her the strength to carry on so let her give you some peace of mind, hm?”
Mark’s eyes shine with a strong fondness for you, his mind wiped clean of all things difficult and heart ten times lighter.
You’ve always understood him, whether he explains himself or not. You could always just know.
Your heart and emotional intelligence are perhaps his favorite things about you.
“You okay?” You ask, worried you’ve overstepped again.
“Never been better.” He promises.
A soft smile graces his lips as he leans in to hug you.
You accept it with an equal gentle expression and when you feel his arms wrap around your middle, you feel good.
Mark is invulnerable but not when it comes to the war between his mind and heart, that’s when you step in. And when you do, there’s always a resolution found in great clarity.
You feel his heartbeat above yours and unconsciously, they sync. His breathing evens out with yours.
It feels intimate, this hug.
You’ve hugged him a million times before but none of them have felt quite like this.
A heavy weight on his shoulders has evaporated and you can feel his gratitude.
“I don’t know how to thank you.” He murmurs.
You tilt your head back a bit so he can see you. “Then don’t.” You shrug, like it’s the most obvious answer.
He chuckles lightly and blinks at you, a tight-lipped smile on his face.
You’re suddenly hyper-aware of his arms loosening around you and replacing the warmth with his hands on your hips.
You subconsciously gulp and watch his eyes flicker towards your eyes, lips then back to your eyes.
You don’t know if it’s your mind playing tricks on you, but you swear he moves his head a little closer to you; just enough to barely touch noses.
Your stomach is in a frenzy and your hands feel clammy.
Is this really happening?
But then, like a switch being flipped off; he gingerly clears his throat and backs away.
You blink, catching yourself in a daze and he gets up to put on a movie.
He acts like he wasn’t just about to kiss you, as if that chemistry was just a figment of your imagination.
You don’t have the guts to say anything, to ask the obvious. So, you also pretend that you two weren’t just about to fulfill your biggest ‘what if?’ scenario.
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“Oh, wow… that’s crazy.”
“I’m sorry, Y/n.”
It was nice to hear sympathies from the only people who you could afford to talk about this with. They’re also the only people who wouldn’t go and spread the telltale truth of the most embarrassing moment of your life.
“I can’t believe he fumbled this badly.” Amber facepalms herself in disbelief.
She sighs in exasperation and plops down on your bed with an arm covering her eyes.
Eve doesn’t move from her position; leaning on your wall with her arms crossed and her face in thought.
“What if he doesn’t like me like that?” You wonder aloud.
Amber peeks an eye out from under her elbow and Eve shakes her head.
“No, no, no. Trust me, that’s not it.”
“Don’t seem so sure.” You grumble as you pick at your nails to distract yourself from the heartache.
Eve sits down beside you and thinks about her words carefully. “Mark… well, I won’t defend him; he is kinda stupid.”
“Kinda?” Amber argues.
That makes you grin a bit.
“But he’s also your best friend, and you’re his. Maybe he doesn’t know how he feels but he does know that you’re not worth the risk of something he’s unsure will ever happen.”
Somehow, she put things into a perspective you’ve never thought about before.
“I never thought about it like that.”
You feel Amber sit up.
“That’s because it’s a confusing situation. Seeing both sides of the story might help you make some sense, give you consolation.”
You nod, already having potential answers to your unanswered questions. If not real answers, you’ll settle for theories. It’s still something.
“Thank you, guys.”
Amber winks at you. “Anytime.”
“Of course. We're rooting for you both.”
You shyly smile when Eve nudges your shoulder.
“So," She claps her hands together. “what should we do to commence our very first sleepover? Omegle?”
Amber is concerned for the first time at Eve’s expense.
“Umm...” You pout your lips to the side.
“I don't find the idea of accidentally getting flashed the most... thrilling.” Ambers grimaces.
“Yeah.” You nod.
Eve has a sly look on her face, one that says her proposition comes with an entertaining twist.
“Trust me, I have an idea.”
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“Okay, that was pretty fun.” Amber concedes.
You laugh softly to yourself, remembering the events from the previous night.
The 3 of you decide to go out for lunch, finding the night an excellent moment for bonding.
“What was fun?”
Mark pulls a seat up at the table you're occupying.
“Mark? How'd you know we were here?” You query.
Mark looks just as confused as you but before he could answer, Eve does it for him.
“I invited him.”
“Oh. Okay.”
You don't have a problem, it's just that you thought this was gonna be “girl time” as you like to call these moments.
It would've been nice to know, at least.
Amber attempts to start up a conversation but little did you know; this conversation was a part of Eve's “idea” she mentioned the night prior.
“We went on Omegle last night.”
Mark's eyebrows raise in surprise. “Did anything happen?”
You understand the underlying message to be, “Were you victims to any unsolicited sexual advance?” and find it kind of sweet that Mark cares enough to have that be his first train of thought.
“Yeah, actually.” Eve notes as she takes a bite of her burger.
“Y/n's got herself a loverboy.”
You choke on your drink. Exploding into a fit of coughs, you hope it kills you.
Mark is quick to pat your back and try to aid in helping.
When you catch your breath, you look over at him awkwardly and thank him.
“Don't mention it.” He humbly said.
You make it a personal mission to never bring it up. Ever.
Amber continues to fuel the fire.
“Yeahhh.” She sighs. “He's Russian and was all, like, ‘Your eyes are like the ocean and I am a merman.’.” She puts on her best Russian accent and giggles when she nails it.
“Mm!” Eve makes a noise of enthusiasm, adding on to the punchline. “And then he said, ‘They are so deep, I can drown in them.’.”
“The fuck?” Mark grunts under his breath. “But mermen can swim.”
Honestly, he thought it was fucking stupid. Even if this guy was a “merman”, he'd be able to swim. Drowning is totally out of the question.
“Yeah, but it was the thought that counts.” Amber spoke before eating a fry.
“It was pretty corny.” Eve seemingly agrees with Mark.
“See?! I knew I wasn't the only one.” Mark nods to himself.
“But...”
His smile drops.
“I gotta admit, it was kind of romantic.”
Mark can't believe this.
Is romance really dead? Aren't punchlines supposed to make sense?
He knows it's only romantic because the guy's Russian. Okay, so he has an accent. So what? That should pardon his inadequacy of flirting?
“You guys only ate it up because he has an accent.”
Mark narrows his eyes as he takes a curly fry from your plate.
Amber and Eve side eye each other with mischief as they see you enter the ring.
“I thought it was kind of sweet, you know? At least he tried.” You counter.
Mark tilts his head, clearly bewildered. “You mean to say that you actually liked that?”
You don’t like his accusatory tone. “It wasn’t that bad, Mark.”
He rolls his eyes and begs to differ. “Wasn’t that bad- it made no sense! He definitely pulled that shit out of Google’s top thirty best flirty lines.” He puts air quotes around best.
“Oh, would you look at that? I actually have to go do that... thing.” Eve slowly rises from her seat.
“Yeah, me too.” Amber flashes a sweet smile.
They’re gone before you can impose.
“They really just left.” You say to no one.
Mark is still somehow going. “I just… I dunno.” He says, defeated.
“Mark, it wasn’t that deep. He liked my eyes and said some line that made me feel nice. That’s all.”
He nods like he understands but he really doesn’t.
“He’s no Mr. Darcy.” You settle as you take a sip of your milkshake.
Mark smiles at that and you’re confused.
“Why’re you smiling?”
“I knew it! I knew you couldn’t possible swoon over that ridiculous, nonsensical one-liner.”
You laugh incredulously. “Seriously, what’s your problem?”
He raises his hands in surrender. “I just knew he couldn’t be your type after that. Sure, you like them romantic but with genuine thought.”
He says that so confidently, with such attention, it makes you feel nicer than the Russian’s compliment. He makes you feel seen with that keen observation.
You nod to yourself, lowkey impressed.
“Mkay.” You simply say.
His gaze flickers towards you at the seemingly confusing, neutral response.
“What.”
“What, what?”
“You said that like you’re not convinced.”
You deeply exhale, not wanting to argue anymore. “Mkay.”
His eyes widen a bit and he snaps at you like he’s just discovered the phrase: ‘eureka!’.
“That, right there. That’s what I mean.”
You rub at your head as if you’ve got a headache but you doubt you won’t get one soon.
“Elaborate.”
You’re sticking with as little words as possible if it means to get to the point.
“Are you mad at me?” He asks with worry coating his tone.
You shake your head, unsure of what’s happening. “I just don’t know what’s gotten into you today. You’re in this strange mood to argue.”
He blinks.
You’re right.
Arguments are a rare occurrence in this relationship.
“We never argue.” He realizes regretfully.
Your eyes trail up his form and you see the uncomfortableness etched onto his outline.
“I’m sorry-”
“Sorry-”
There’s a pause, one that melts the lingering awkwardness into friendliness.
You see the hints of a smile creep up on him and instinctually, there’s one in yours.
“You first.”
Ever the gentleman.
“Sorry for making it awkward.” Your fingers interlock with each other and you give him an apologetic look.
Mark immediately shakes his head. “No, you didn’t make anything awkward… It was me. I got-”
He doesn’t speak for a few seconds, trying to find another way out of this as two thirds of his sentence has already been put out.
“You got..?”
He puts on a tight-lipped smile but it looks pained. “I just wanna say that I’m sorry for getting defensive for no reason.”
He thinks that was a good excuse for his detour but you’re smart.
“Jealous.” You say firmly.
“Huh?” He squeaks and immediately clears his throat.
“You got jealous.” You shrug your shoulders and move the whip cream in your milkshake around with the straw.
He scoffs with the intention of obscurity. “That- I- What? Pfft, jealous. Who, me?! Yeah, right.”
His stuttering erupts a snort from you, an “I told you so” fresh on the tip of your tongue.
He wanted to spout declarations of how incorrect you are but he couldn’t. The cat had his tongue.
“Whatever.” He bites with little heat.
He crosses his arms over his chest and appears to look unaffected by your ability to see through him.
“Mkay.” You hum to tease him.
Your best friend groans and you giggle at him slouching down in his seat, his hands covering his face and in turn; a sheepish grin.
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You’re in your home when your TV bears awful news.
“Breaking news: intruders that look like multiple Invincibles are wreaking havoc across the globe.”
As soon as you hear that, a loud boom is heard from across the city and sends shockwaves to where you are.
“We urge you to stay in your homes and hide. Do not make contact, I repeat; don’t engage with them.”
You’re scared.
How the hell are you supposed to stay hidden in your home when there’s the start of destruction visible outside?
How can they tell you to stay inside when there’s a chance you can die in there?
It’s not like the variants aren’t gonna come inside. Who’d stop them from hurling your place of residence like a football?
Despite all of those thoughts, you stay inside.
You hide in your living room. You sigh to yourself as you hide inside a spare closet, leaving a sliver of space open to breathe.
You turn your phone’s ringer off but feel the vibrations in your pocket. You look to see who it could be and feel so much relief flood your stomach when it’s Mark.
“Mark?” You say shakily.
“Y/n? Oh, thank god. Where are you?”
Your eyes water but you keep them at bay. No point in crying over spilled milk.
“I’m in the spare closet of the living room, what’s going on?”
He starts to explain when the call abruptly cuts.
So fucking cliche you think as you the see the dead battery sign.
The sound of a window opening makes you heave out a sigh of relief.
You get out and are about to hug him but the first thing you notice when you open the door is his face. Er, the lack thereof.
“Is… this a new costume?” You ask wearily.
You didn’t know Mark had a black mask installed. It covered his whole head and the lens was turquoise blue instead of white.
He just stares at you, unflinching and scarily still.
You gulp as the realization sets in your stomach.
This isn’t the Mark of your world. This isn’t the Invincible you recognize.
The masked stranger can sense your irregular heartbeat and hear the small panicked breaths that well up in your chest.
He slowly stalks towards you; like a predator to their prey, except there’s nothing dangerous about his stance. He doesn’t radiate harm or anger and he puts his hands up, as if to show you he won’t harm you.
For your own sake, you don’t believe that. You can’t believe that’s what he wants.
You’re frozen, wide eyes filled to the brim with fear and shock.
You grip your phone tight in your hands, ready to turn it into a weapon if you must.
He’s interrupted when another one shows up.
This one has a black and yellow suit with a yellow cape.
Your eyes dart to his figure and you’re sure this one’s gonna do the honors.
“You’re alive.” He says to himself.
His eyes are covered with white lenses but you know he’s looking at you.
His hands ball up into fists and he walks to you with an urgency in his stride.
You instinctually back up and hit a wall when the masked variant gets in between you both.
“She’s scared.”
The tone in his voice almost makes you think he cares. Almost.
“Get out of my way.” The bright-caped intruder basically spat his face.
“And let youuu have all the fun? I don’t think so!”
What the fuck?
You see what looks like Mark… in a mohawk.
His lips spread into a smirk, a cocky tone in his words.
Your nails press into your arm to prevent you from sputtering out a giggle.
How are you supposed to take him seriously when he’s willingly sporting a mohawk? Right.
If you knew there was going to come a time where your home is used as some sort of Invincible convention, you would’ve moved out a long time ago.
“You’re here.”
This one scares you a little.
His demeanor may be softer but his eyes, they’re wild with a fire furling around his pupils.
What makes the fear prick at your heart is the fact that he’s wearing the Viltrumite uniform.
Wherever he came from, he became his father.
That fact chills your bones and you think, how could that happen? Why did that happen?
His wild eyes are wide with surprise and there’s the ghost of a relieved smile on his face.
Very quickly have you gone from 0 to 100.
There are 2 seemingly decent Invincibles and 2 Invincibles that give off evil vibes.
What’s better news is that they all have some sort of fascination with you.
Awesome! Fantastic, even!
Your adrenaline has taken a back seat but you’re still unnerved by the destruction just outside your neighborhood.
You’ve never wished for a quicker death as this cat and mouse game is becoming all too much. The anticipation will kill you if they don’t.
“Alright,” Mohawk Mark yawns. “Enough dickin’ around.”
The 4 variants surround you, encasing you in an otherwise unbreakable square.
“You’re coming with us.” Decides the caped crusader.
He puts his hand out to grab you but is thrown through a wall by an unstoppable force.
It feels a bit blurry after that.
You feel yourself being lifted and moving at an alarming speed, your body lurching forward and side to side by the breeze taking you.
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” He murmurs.
He hugs you close to his chest, a hand cradling the back of your head and the other clutching your back protectively.
“M-Mark?”
You find your voice amongst the dizziness clouding your head.
He holds your head and tilts it towards him, kissing the crown and meeting your eyes.
“Yeah, it’s me. You’re okay, you’ll be fine. Just stay here.”
You hold his wrists and blink, looking around you to find yourself with Debbie and her boyfriend, Paul.
“Please.”
Mark’s desperation appeals to you. His voice cracks with an urgency for your life. One that is begging you to listen, and you do.
“Okay.” You agree.
He nods and kisses you once again, a sweet promise pressed against your forehead.
You may have had the wind knocked out of you but that doesn’t mean you’re unaware.
Oh yeah, that kiss sobers you up real quick.
Your eyes are wide and cheeks are warm; you’re flushed and hope he doesn’t detect the jump in your heart rate because of his tenderness for you.
“Be careful.” You blurt out.
Mark looks back at you with a smirk on his face.
“I will.”
He kept his promise for the most part.
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“Ow.”
“Maybe don’t move around a lot?”
“…Sorry.”
He winces as you treat his facial wounds.
Mark got pretty banged up; his left eye was swollen and purple from Conquests fists. He has similar shades of bruising on his face and a nasty cut on the bridge of his nose, another on the corner of his lip.
His arms and leg are almost fully healed.
It’s been a grueling 2 weeks.
Oliver helps out as much as he can.
Eve and the rest of the heroes are helping piece the cities back together but no matter how much they help rebuild, the atrocities committed won’t be forgotten.
Conquest was here on a personal mission and almost leveled the state because of it and roughed up Oliver pretty badly.
“I don’t know what to do.”
You hear him, you hear the things he wants to say and the things he doesn’t say out loud.
You feel so bad, so awful for him. He’s still a kid trying his hardest, doing his best.
Why can’t that be enough?
“It isn’t fair.” You respond.
His gaze turns to you.
“You do your best and when you think it’s over, the worst is still yet to come.”
Your fingers lightly touch the one of many bruises on his cheek, his eyes close at the contact.
“I can’t imagine how many times you’ve had pieces of you broken for us but it’s a sacrifice that unfortunately comes with the job.”
It hurt your heart, saying the second part.
Hard truths are a pill you’ll always find difficult to give.
He sharply inhales and the tears he tried so hard holding, come pouring down. Soft sobs and wails plague his throat.
His head falls atop your chest and his hands wrap around your middle, clinging to your shirt.
Your arms wrap around his shoulders and you do your best to ground him, to be his anchor.
His mental state is unimaginable, the thought of him slipping away has been a reoccurring nightmare for you but you push through. You have to.
“So many people died.”
The death toll worldwide was into the hundreds of thousands. That was the doing of the variants but Mark was inadvertently responsible, too.
It breaks your heart at how unfair this all is.
A Viltrumite’s personal vendetta against Mark resulted in such catastrophe.
Scott -also known as Powerplex- fried his only family left and somehow thinks that is also Mark’s fault.
As if the Chicago Incident wasn’t enough, there was almost a Chicago Incident Part 2 had it not been for Eve.
“You can’t blame yourself Angstrom’s doing.” You try to reason.
Mark shakes his head and gets up.
“I thought I killed him, but I should’ve been sure. I should’ve finished the job.”
Mark palms at his wet eyes, sniffling lightly as he calms down.
You don’t know what to do, you don’t know what to say.
You don’t want him to wallow in this pain by himself but you also don’t want to say something wrong.
“You should leave.” His cold tone and neutral face really sells it.
You’re confused. “What? I’m sorry, was it something I said? Or did?”
You’ve never seen him like this and are worried the wretched day you’ve been imagining is finally here.
“No. I just want you to go.”
You watch his fists bunch up the material of his joggers on his knees and the veins protruding from his hands.
“I…”
You want to say something, you want to stay for him but you can’t. You know it’d only make things worse.
So you just nod and whisper a meek, “Okay.”.
Mark still isn’t looking at you when you make your way to the door. His face still expressionless, calculated, distant.
Your fingers reach for the handle when you hear him.
“Y/n?”
It’s embarrassing how quick hope flashes in your eyes at the sound of him saying your name.
You try to suppress the obvious reaction as much as possible.
“Yeah?”
It still seeps through your voice but you’re human.
Your emotions are a part of you, even if they end up being a helping hand to your disappointment.
You don’t see the pool of guilt swirl around in his almost annoyed eyes but maybe it’s for the better.
He stares at you and feels bad but after everything that’s happened, is it worth keeping you in his life?
He wants to tell you so badly what’s making him push you away.
Sure, William is his best friend but you’re so much more. You’re a part of him, you’re his soulmate.
Mark wants nothing more than to see you happy but he ultimately decides that it’s nothing compared to seeing you alive.
“Can you close my door all the way?” He begrudgingly says.
The average person would blame him for pushing you away, him getting your hopes up only to crush them so inadvertently cruelly.
But you only chastise yourself.
You want him to know that despite people like Scott or Angstrom; who put the blame on wrong people for their circumstantial demise, there's people like you and Debbie.
He has a support system ready to recharge him but maybe you were overcharging him?
You go to sleep in tears, crying silently to yourself over how fucked life is.
Mark doesn't sleep the whole night, knowing he can hear your heart break.
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It's been a slow week.
You don't talk to anyone or do things you used to; only getting up to go to class and eat, do some occasional grocery shopping.
You make an excuse for Amber and Eve when they text you to meet up and watch their caller ID's flash across your phone before it rings all the way through.
Mark hasn't spoken to you at all. No call, no text.
Despite him quitting school, you used to see him all the time on campus. Whether it be for you or William or Rick.
Now, you don't meet with anyone.
“She doesn't wanna talk to me or Amber anymore.” Eve voiced one day.
"Nor us." Rick pointed towards him and William.
“Something’s wrong. I'm worried about her.” Amber adds as she comes across the last message you sent in the group chat with her and Eve.
hey guys, just going through the flu rn. i’m fine tho! no worries :)
But of course they worried. They're your friends and that's what friends do.
Which is exactly what they said when they arrived at your doorstep, so you can't afford another excuse.
Your duo sits on your bed, trying to come up with a solution to best help you out.
“He’s closed off and maybe that was expected, but it's been a week.” Amber says.
“Yeah, you'd think he'd open up by now.”
You sigh pitifully and look out your window and down the street.
You’re a 10 minute drive and he’s a 1 minute flight away, yet nobody is willing to close that distance.
“It should be him, though.” Eve says.
“Hm?” You hum absentmindedly.
“Mark should be the one to come talk to you, not the other way around.”
Eve gauges for a reaction from you, one that will oppose her idea.
“Maybe you should go.” She switches up.
You look at Eve hesitantly, like it's a flop idea.
“You tried, Y/n. You did your part and he let you know but this isn’t the way things between you should end. Should he want it to end.”
It's like Amber knew what you were thinking and tried to dismiss the thought for you.
You weren't gonna lie and say that you haven't thought about blowing up his phone, driving to his house and banging on his door to open up to you.
But would he even want to? Would he even listen?
“It's not about what he wants, it's about what he needs.”
“And what he needs right now, is you.”
- MEANWHILE, WITH WILLIAM, RICK & REX -
“Come on, man. Don't be like this.” William tries.
Rick can see how much Mark is beating himself up over everything that’s happened.
With the fight against Liu’s dragon and Powerplex. And now recently, Conquest.
Mark never complained, it was the job. But you made getting back out on the field a bit easier.
“It's not worth losing her.” Rick gently reminds.
Mark's trio of lending hands have come to his service but it's unwanted, and Mark lets them know.
“Look, I don't need this. Especially not right now.”
This makes Rex mad.
“Oh you don’t need this? Well, excuseee me! We don’t need you to be so goddamn stupid, especially not right now.”
Mark narrows his eyes, visibly agitated. “Stupid? I’m being stupid?”
Rex widens his eyes, his pitch growing higher. “Yeah! That’s what I said.”
“Okay, I think we’re elevating the situation so let’s all just calm down.” William suggests nervously.
Mark has other thoughts as he rises from the bed. “And how exactly am I being stupid?”
Rex knows he shouldn’t be egging him on, he shouldn’t be encouraging his anger; but if this was the way to make his friend see his foolishness then so be it.
“By distancing yourself from the one woman who’s nice enough to let you, instead of manning up and telling her how you really feel.”
That stung.
“You don’t get to tell me how to handle my love life.”
Rex smirks lazily, a hardball on the tip of his tongue. “You don’t even have the balls to have one.”
“Rex.” William warns.
The cheeky bastard ignores him and continues on, a bit excited to see where this would all lead.
“I think she’d want a man who sees her, who doesn’t hurt her by ignoring her entire existence.”
Rick facepalms himself and wonders where the line between bravery and stupid was drawn.
Mark’s knuckles are white from how hard his fingers are curling in on themselves, his fists ready to pound into the explosive asshole.
Rex steps closer, now toe-to-toe with Mark and ignorantly unafraid. “I wouldn’t make her wait.”
Mark punches him right in the mouth, hard.
“Mark!” The yell of his friends fall on deaf ears.
Rex grunts as he stumbles back a bit, expecting this outcome.
“You don’t know her. You don’t know what’s good for her.” Mark spits bitterly.
Rex spits some blood out, sighing heavily. “You do.”
That makes Mark soften up.
He blinks like he’s snapped out of a trance. His fist wavers and is set down beside his thigh, a deep sigh exiting his nose. He looks at his friend and witnesses the ugly truth; his jealousy won.
“What am I doing?” He whispers.
Rex coughs lightly, the cut on his lip stinging.
“Talk to her, Mark. Don’t let her live with the regret of not knowing.”
Rick puts a sympathetic hand on his shoulder, hoping this will finally tip him over the edge.
Rex comes off the wall, slapping Mark’s back with a warm pat.
“I’m sorry, Rex. I shouldn’t have-”
He dismisses him with a wave. “Nah, I was being an asshole. An asshole on purpose, but still an asshole.”
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Deep breath in, deep breath out.
You’re gathering the courage to mull over the most impactful relationship in your life.
Is there even a correct way to do that?
You don’t know, but what you do know is that you have to try.
You look yourself in the mirror and feel the weight of your younger self.
She’d be devastated. you think. If she were here in the flesh to see this, you don’t think she could withstand it.
A sharp knock to your door pulls you out of your head.
You’re not expecting anyone, and you’re unsure about the one person you did want to hear from.
Regardless, you walk over and open the door and your heart drops out of your ass. Not in fear, but in surprise.
“Mark.” You breathe.
Here he is; in the flesh and without the scowl you picture. In fact, he looks guilty.
His once glee-filled eyes are now empty of it, making you reminisce the time before last week.
“Can I come in?”
His voice resounding of forlorn hope. He expects you to deny him, to make him walk away with his hands held in a helpless prayer.
Instead, you show him mercy and welcome him inside your place of refuge.
Tentatively, he makes his way inside and awkwardly stands beside your desk.
You’re quiet, still trying to process his presence after an entire week of radio silence.
You don’t know how to feel. Should you be happy? Ecstatic? If anything, frustrated and hurt are also a great couple of options.
“Y/n?”
You look up at him and see his concerned face. “Hm?”
“I asked if we can talk.”
“Now you want to talk?” It came out before you could even think about it.
Your annoyance seeps through and he shuffles the weight on his feet a bit uncomfortably.
“I know-”
“No, you don’t.”
He looks at you like you just told him to kill himself.
“Y/n, please. Just hear me out.”
Your arms are crossed over your chest in a defensive position, he clocks that. He also notices the way you make eye contact with him throughout your sentences.
You were really hurt, he gathers.
He takes your silence as a sign to continue talking.
“After I left you at Paul’s, I went back out there and fought off the rest of those… variants. While I was fighting them, they told me about you.”
Your interest is absolutely peaked now.
“What do you mean?”
“They... they said that you existed in their world but-” He cuts himself off with a vexed sigh.
“But what, Mark.”
You want, need to know what was worth hurting you for days on end.
Mark looks at you and it's the most disheartened he's looked since that night he told you to leave.
“You died, Y/n.”
It all makes sense now. You grapple with the stomach-churning epiphany of the century.
The different Invincibles that wanted to take you was simply because you ceased to exist in their worlds.
“I... I died in every single universe.”
He takes some steps in your direction, not wanting to overwhelm you.
“You either died on accident by being murdered among civilians or you killed yourself.”
“Why would I commit suicide?”
He deeply inhales. “Because you'd rather die than join the other me.”
That sounds on brand.
“I couldn't live with myself knowing I'd lose you in this world, too.” He admits raspily.
That touches your heart.
You want to hug him, to comfort him but you're still kind of confused. You needed more answers.
“I was so scared, I had never felt fear like I did when I saw them with you.” He whispers.
“Why'd you tell me to leave?” You ask gently.
“Because I love you.”
His confession is so light, said with such helplessness, that you tear up.
Mark maintains eye contact with you, tired of hiding his true self. He wants you to see him.
“So many people have died because of me, it may not be directly my fault, but it still had to do with me.”
He comes a little closer, just a couple of steps away from touching you.
“What if I was too late that day? What if they managed to take you away?” He mutters in a hushed tone.
Mark shakes his head as if to get rid of those thoughts.
“If anything happens to you, it will be because of me.”
“So, you thought it was best to create such a large gap between us, that there'd be a sinking hole inside of me. Is that it?”
Your eyes well up against your will but you can't bring yourself to care. Not when he can finally see just how much you've been suffering.
“You think I wanted to do that?” He asks defensively.
You scoff indignantly. “I think you could've told me from the jump. That's what I think.”
You know it's a little unfair given how vulnerable he's being right now but he was unfair when you were vulnerable, too.
He shakes his head, eyes closing in on themselves as his tears threaten to fall. “I can't risk your life, Y/n! Why don't you understand that?”
You messily wipe your tears, your lashes wet and nose tinged with the lightest of reds.
“All this time, you didn't have a problem with how close we were. Now that you saw how close I was to something dangerous, it got too real for you?!”
He's in your space now, his chin set down and eyes on yours.
Contrary to how mad he looks, he relays his message in an low tone. “Yeah. It did.”
Your eyes widen a bit at the length he's cut between your bodies and you're back in time. You go back to the moment he almost kissed you.
“Don't push me away, Mark.”
You beg him and you don't care if you look pathetic. You love him and don't want to lose him like this.
Mark just presses his forehead against yours and shuts his eyes, he concentrates on you. Your smell, your hushed breaths, your heartbeat.
You feel his hands slide up and down your arms, grounding you.
Even when he's opening up to you, Mark still chooses to comfort you. He still wants to calm you down, to make you feel better. He still chooses to have your best interests at heart.
“I came here to tell you the truth, that you deserve better.”
You wordlessly deny his idea, shaking your head once.
He grabs ahold of your head, making you look at him.
You see it all, you see all of his pain, grief, anger.
“I love you but you're not safe with me.”
“You don't get to make my decision for me.” You stubbornly point out.
“Y/n-”
“I love you.” A shaky whisper snuck into the air between your lips.
His wide eyes stare back at yours in surprise.
“I've loved you for a long time and I don't wanna be in love with another.” You wrap your hands around his, feeling the warmth bloom onto your cold ones.
“Please. Please don't ask me to stay away from you.” You cry.
He kisses your head and brings you close, your head on his shoulder and slotting between his bicep and forearm. He curls his other arm around your waist and lays his head on yours.
“Okay, fine.” He fondly agrees. “You win so stop crying.”
“Fuck you.” You jab.
He airily laughs and brings your face close to his, pressing an equally feathery kiss to your lips.
You timidly kiss him, shying away a little to breathe but Mark wants you to take his breath if you must. He pulls you in, hands gripping your hips and pulling you flush against him, wanting to shape a new mold from your figures.
Your fingers nervously brush his hair and he groans at the contact.
You chuckle at the sound and he pulls away leaving a soft peck.
He's in a daze and has hearts in his eyes but he ultimately decides; he wouldn't want it any other way.
2K notes · View notes
joelsdagger · 4 months ago
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only then, i am good || one shot
joel miller x f!reader
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masterlist || ao3 || follow @joelsdaggerupdates for notifs!!
pairing: daddy jackson!joel x f!reader summary: you have a bad day in which it makes you question your worth. only joel can make you see the truth. warnings: jackson era [well into the tlou2 timeline but nothing bad happens], implied age gap [i warn you, joel is old old], angst [in the form of internal turmoil], feelings of guilt/burdening, established relationship, dd/lg dynamics, soft daddy dom!joel, daddy kink, praise kink, size kink, finger sucking, pet names galore [baby, sweetheart, little girl, angel] size kink, reader is hella needy, reader has pubic hair bc i said so, smidgen of cockwarming, just the tip mention, dubcon*, dacryphilia, unprotected piv, nipple play, belly bulge, creampie, joel is reader’s personal weighted blanket, fluff, aftercare. *reader is not in the right headspace to properly consent to piv but she’s a-okay with it! word count: 3.8k
a/n: i’ve been to emotional (and physical) hell and back (are we back? who knows) these last few weeks and it had me yearning for daddy jackson!joel. so this is what this is. it’s a tad different from my typical style of writing and it’s not betaed and very very loosely proofread (barely looked thru it while in the waiting room lol), so it’s probably shit but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless xx
You should’ve double-checked the lock. Triple-checked it. As always. Hand to God, it slipped your mind. You were tired. Achy and sleepy, and you just wanted to go home. Back to Joel. Curl your spent body into the thick, burly warmth of his and let him cradle you until the whole day wipes itself from memory. 
You’ve been asking them for more responsibilities — a more serious role within Jackson, for months. After today, you’re sure they’ll never take you seriously. Never see you as one of them. They’re so much older and wiser — experienced. And you…well, you are not.
They never fuck up. Never make mistakes that would risk losing an important asset to this safe haven. And today you have. You fucked up. You don’t know how you forgot. It’s been your only job here, the only thing they let you have, and still — you messed it up. 
You forgot to lock the stall door to the stable for one of the horses. And not only did the horse escape but now the town is technically down one patrolman. You have completely thrown off the patrolling schedule, one that was meticulously crafted and has been in place long before you arrived in Jackson. It very rarely changed. 
You offered to lend a hand, practically begged them to send you out with the rest of the search party. But Maria, Tommy, and Joel all told you to go home while they sent a group (of which included Joel and Tommy themselves) outside the gates, well past dusk, to go looking for him. You felt entirely useless.
Begrudgingly, you scurried home, a beaten puppy in need of licking one’s wounds. Feeling the weight of the day and the frustration that has accumulated over months suddenly seeping into your bones, and you just…broke. You crawled into bed, alone in the dark, and you cried for hours, your mind spiraled, turning over the mistake you made, again and again and again. 
When it stops and the wracking sobs slow into shuddery hiccups, it’s only because you hear heavy footsteps in the hallway. Slow. Tired. But steady — sure. And that nauseating sensation in the pit of your stomach returns as the footsteps grow closer and closer. 
The door creaks open slowly, pale yellow light from the hallway spills through the crack, your puffy eyes squint and flutter against the sudden light, shape of him vague in your blurry vision, but you know it’s him: tall frame, broad shoulders, pale skin, and dark features.  
Joel. 
You curl your body tighter, making yourself as small as possible. Close your eyes, and bury your tear-stained face back into the damp royal blue of his linens, the piney scent of him everywhere: his pillows, his sheets, his mattress, clouding your mind. You hear his footsteps as he rounds the bed, feel him reach over and switch on the lamp beside you. He grunts, his joints creak as you feel his weight sinking the edge of the bed, settling himself down in the ‘c’ shape your body had formed.
“We found him. Fella was out by Hidden Pines,” voice soft, almost cautious. 
You nod silently, but you don’t look at him, not wanting to embarrass yourself even more, not wanting him to see how pathetic you look after spending hours upon hours sobbing into the pillows over a mistake you made.  
A heavy hand cups your knee over the sheets, thumb stroking bone through the fabric there. 
“It wasn’t your fault, baby.” He says, surely.
But you don’t really believe him. 
You sniffle and tilt your face away from the tear-soaked pillows just enough so he can hear you. “Yes, it was. I was the last one in there. It’s my job to take the horses back and settle them in for the night. My job to make sure they stay in the stables. It’s been my job, my only job all this time, and I can’t even do that right,” you ramble, voice breaking, bottom lip wobbling, fat tears pricking your red eyes once again. 
“No. You listen here,” he says sternly, feeling his body turn beside you, bed covers bunching up around your knees. “You did lock it, but the latch was loose, honey. Tommy and I tried ‘em. They’re due for a fixin’ n’ we should’ve been checkin’ ‘em, but that’s my job, not yours. This wasn’t on you, darlin’. You hear me?”
You avoid his eye and stay furled on the bed. Silence swells between you, and you fiddle with a stray thread in his sheets.
“He wasn’t supposed to take off like that, but he’s a younger horse,” he shrugs, and a sigh falls from his lips. “It happens. Whoever was mannin’ the wall tonight should’ve seen him. Many things were at play, baby. It wasn’t your fault.” He says in a matter-of-fact tone.
Your head snaps over your shoulder in a fury. “I could’ve helped fix it. I could’ve made it right,” you bite, shaky voice laced with venom. You don’t mean for it to sound so harsh, but it manages to stifle the sob that threatens to claw up your throat. And for a second, the irritation in your voice doesn’t rattle you until you notice Joel’s shoulders tense, and you regret it immediately. 
A whirlpool of emotions swirls in your belly. A weird noise squeaks out from your lips as you try to fruitlessly blink away the sleep and salt in your eyes. You don’t want to cry in front of him. You bury your face into the pillow again, trying to muffle the sob-like groan as you cringe away from Joel, ashamed. 
His hand drifts up your thigh, broad palm splayed across your flesh, his touch unwavering. “Sweetheart, the only reason I told you to stay here s’because it ain’t safe out there. The amount of infected may be less this time o’year but the cold…” He trails off, his grip tightening around the meat of your thigh unconsciously, “makes people meaner,” his voice grows unsteady at the thought. 
You shiver, and you suspect he feels it. He clears his throat, and tender fingers brush the strands of hair out of your face, then they trail down, and you feel the cold roughness of his skin against the warm softness of yours as his calloused hand cups your jaw, tilting it to face him, forcing you to meet his eyes. 
Your eyes pinch shut, and the dam breaks. You can’t bear to look at him. Your heart sits heavy in your chest, feeling the guilt creeping back in at his touch. His hands, usually warm, are now icy cold, and all you can think about is how you are the cause of it. He had been out in the cold longer than he needed to be because of you. You and he both know his worn bones can’t handle it, and yet, he went out there in the dead of winter as nightfall cloaked over Jackson to right your wrong, and it makes you feel terrible. 
“Baby. Look at me,” he whispers softly.
You do, and through bleary eyes you meet his weary gaze. His lips are downturned into a frown, and with a twist in his brows, that worry line in the middle of his forehead materializes. You hate being the cause of it. Your heart plops to your stomach, your throat goes thick, something rising at the base of it. 
“What do you need, sweetheart? Tell me,” he implores, his voice stern but soft, eyes shifting back and forth between yours — dark amber irises so warm, pleading.  
Teach me to be good. “Just you, daddy – just need you,” you blubber, your voice innocent and small. Weak. 
He knows exactly what you mean. You have been together long enough that he reads you like an open book. You watch as he wordlessly toes off his boots with a thud. Watch as he moves to stand to unbuckle his belt, dropping it to the floor with a soft clink, his jeans, jacket, and flannel following shortly after. Watch as he shifts onto the bed, bones crackling as he lowers himself and presses his broad form into you, his knees popping as they coax yours open. Watch as one of his hands drifts south between your bodies to grip the thick root of his cock while the other bunches up your nightgown to your navel, revealing your unobstructed cunt to him.  
You whimper when the leaky head of his cock notches at the already slippery entrance of your cunt. He glides the wide cockhead between your folds, up and down, up and down, while the warmth of his breath fans across your face when his lips part to murmur, just the tip tonight, baby, s’not a good idea for you to take all o’me right now, alright? 
You nod numbly. You don’t care how much he gives you — you just need to feel him. Need him to fix you. Need him to make the hurt you feel inside go away. Need him to search for the good. Maybe it’s there, buried deep in a place only he can find. 
His hands find yours, pins them firmly above your head, and with his dark gaze holding yours, he very gently pushes his tip inside your tight, wet hole. His mouth pops open in a deep groan, and you catch it with a soft gasp of your own. 
“There you go. S’that feel better, pretty baby?” He murmurs, his jaw ticks, brows twitch.  
You nod desperately, your wide, glassy eyes going hooded. Your thighs tense around him, causing a little more of his cock to push inside, making you whimper and squirm beneath him.  
“Good. Now just listen to my voice. Just focus on me, right here,” he grunts haggardly, voice so low and commanding. And that alone makes your brain go fuzzy. 
You try to focus all your energy on his voice and the heavy weight of him on top of you and the fat tip of his cock stretching your too little hole open, but suddenly, he pulls out, and you almost whine at his absence.
But Joel doesn’t give you enough time. 
Your body moves up the bed with a jolt, gasping when his hips push forward with more force, filling your cunt with the head of his cock, and then some more, only to slip out of you again immediately after. He’s toying with you, and he’s doing so because he knows you really need this. 
He slips his cockhead gently back inside you, and you whine at the soft squelch your slicken pussy makes. The two of you revel in the lewd, wet sounds that ricochet through the room, all while never breaking eye contact. 
“My little girl just needed me to fuck all the bad thoughts away, hm?” he breathes, his nose brushes against yours.
“Mmhm,” you sigh, cunt flittering around him. 
“Needed me to stretch out her sweet little hole and make everything better, s’that it?” 
You nod frantically, moaning breathlessly. 
Joel growls. “Say yes, daddy,” he commands you softly, his fingers squeezing yours.
“Y—ye—yes, d–daddy.” Your words come out broken in between the slow rolls of his hips, but by the smirk that tugs on his lips, you know he’s proud of you anyway. 
“Good girl,” he praises, his touch featherlight as his fingers push the stray strands of hair away from your forehead, and the scruff of his chin tickles your nose as he lays an open-mouthed kiss between your furrowed brows.  
“But daddy—” you start to protest, scrunching your nose. 
Joel harrumphs as he pulls back. All of his features pull into a stern look, and to stop you, the pad of his roughened thumb sweeps across your cheek and sinks between your parted lips. 
“Na-uh. No fightin’ with daddy,” he presses gently. 
By instinct, your lips close around his digit, sucking it into your mouth and swirling your tongue around the thick of it, tasting the salty, woodsy flavor of him, and it only feeds the foggy haze in your mind more. 
Spit pools at the corner of your lips. His thumb moves in and out of your mouth, matching the rhythm of his thrusts as he fucks his cockhead in and out of your hole. Your mind begins to blur, but there’s still a storm stirring in your swollen eyes, and Joel, as always, can see it. 
“Alright, this ain’t workin’,” he sighs exasperatedly. 
And you think he’s utterly fed up with you not obeying him. He unsticks his body from yours, and your eyes search his face — the lines beside his eyes, the hairs in his brows, the muscles around his lips — trying to decode the emotion that flits across his features. Though, as expected, it’s near impossible to read him. Joel may have been able to crack you open, and although the years he has spent in Jackson have managed to soften him up — tiny cracks in his stony exterior over time — he remains inscrutable. 
For a moment, you think he’s going to scold you. Tell you you’re no good for him anymore. You wouldn’t blame him. You can’t seem to do anything right. Maybe he thought he wanted to take you apart, bit by careful bit. But what if he peered through the gap and saw something he didn’t like? What if he had a change of heart — now that he stepped back and assessed the damage? What if the severity of it was too much to mend? Burden too heavy to carry. He doesn’t deserve that. He deserves someone good. Someone not in need of fixing. Someone unbroken. 
But Joel surprises you. His hand retracts from your face, and instead wraps his arm around your middle, maneuvering you onto his thighs so you're straddling him. His free hand fists the hem of your nightgown, and in one swift motion, tugs the fabric over your head and tosses it aside to join his pile of clothes on the floor. His heavy hands find your waist once again, and with the head of his cock still buried deep in between your legs, he sits up and back against the headboard, grunting a low, alright, c'mere, as he takes you with him with ease.
You cling to him like a koala, body putty and pliant as he brings your weak arms to wrap around his neck. And then, a firm hand moves to cradle the back of your neck, lets you nuzzle your wet face into the dip in his shoulder, and breathe in the comfort of his scent while his other traverses the line of your spine.
Slow but steady, Joel bucks his hips up, up, up, until the entirety of his thick length works its way into the slick slide of your cunt. Your soft thatch of curls meets his, softly grazes your clit, and you writhe in his arms, sniffle, and whimper brokenly against his shoulder, but sure, gentle hands pull you into his chest tighter. You feel the strong drum of his heart against yours, thrumming against each other: ga-gung, ga-gung, ga-gung, pace quickening, like they're trying to catch up, trying to sync. Your body melts into his. Skin to skin, heart to heart, heat of your cunt to the heat of his cock; and then suddenly, two become one.
“Shh, shhh, I know, baby, I know. You got it,” he whispers, as he begins to rock you back and forth, back and forth, lulling you gently back into the haze, and everything finally fades away. 
He presses a kiss right behind your ear. “Therrrre we go, just take it, good girl,” he murmurs as a heavy hand pets your hair. And whether he’s talking about his cock or his praise, you obey regardless. Your cunt sucks the heat of his cock in deep. Let him fuck himself into you; let his warmth smolder you until your cunt ignites. Let it roar and burn and spread through your system like wildfire. Let him make you good.
The tips of his fingers move through your hair in small ministrations, gently scratching away at your skull. “Daddy—s–so big—” you whimper, your fingers pulling the hair at the nape of his neck, tears welling up in your eyes as something low in your belly begins to churn. 
“Shhh, angel, it’s okay. I know, s’a lot,” he soothes, feeling his deep voice reverberate against your chest. Your cunt contracts at his praise, and the steady pace of his hips falters briefly; he groans deeply when he feels his tip choked tight within your walls, “you’re doin’ so good for me, sweetheart, so good.”  
He continues his shallow thrusts while he rocks you in his arms. There’s a low static buzz in your ears, but you can still hear the perverse chant that manages to fall from your lips — one that grows louder with every roll of his hips, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy. And in turn, he murmurs incessant blabbers of, you’re okay, angel, daddy’s here, daddy’s gotcha, into your hair, punctuating every one of his words with a soft kiss to your temple and a slow buck of his hips.  
The tip of his cock nudges that soft ridge deep inside you, and he feels your cunt flutter around him. “You gonna come for me, angel, hm? You gonna be a real good girl for daddy and let me feel this drippy little pussy come all over me?” He coos.  
“Uh-huh,” you murmur. 
Deft fingers curl around the back of your neck, and with the slightest of pressure, he squeezes once, gently instructing you to use your words. A silent command. 
“Y-yes, daddy, I prom–I promise, I wanna be good. I wanna be good,” you mewl.
His nose drags along the side of your face, down, down, down, until his heated lips meet your pulse point. “Go on, baby, let go n’ get daddy all messy. Show daddy how good of a girl you are,” he rambles, his voice a low vibration, goosebumps prickling in its wake.
With your tight cunt full and impaled on his cock, your clit throbs, eager for more friction. You rut your hips against his, humping him like a dog in heat as you rub your puffy pearl against the graying curls there, smearing him in your slick just as he insisted.   
And within seconds, your body constricts, navel pulls taut, and then something fiery in your belly erupts. Your body begins to tremble as stars burst behind your eyelids, liquid heat turns your mind and body molten, melting away completely with the force of your release.
“Daaaddy,” you cry, lips quivering. Your muscles go lax, and your body slumps in his hold, feeling the last of your energy leaving you. Your head lulls back, and his hand slides up the base of your neck in time to catch it in his massive palm.
He clutches you tight, marveling at your fucked-out form in his arms while babbling praises of,  ohhh–that’s it, that’s it, good job, baby, such a good fuckin’ girl— daddy’s so proud of you, as warm tears roll down your face. And it only spurs him on. 
His languid strokes speed up, your body jolts above him violently, weeping cunt fluttering repeatedly around him. Your mouth falls open, wanton moans escape past your parted lips as he fucks you harder. “Christ, that’s it, that’s my girl. Look at you, perfect little thing,” he pants, coaxing you through your orgasm. 
His eyes drop quickly to watch the bounce of your tits, nipples peaked and gleaming with beads of sweat. He dips his head to one sticky breast, and with a flick of his hot tongue, he laps up the salt on your skin. 
It elicits a sharp gasp from you, your chewed fingernails desperately trying to claw at him, your body arching against his mouth, and you feel him grin against the curve of your breast. His mouth drifts, wraps his whiskered lips around your other swollen nipple, tongue swirls the pointed bud, teasing you with a graze of his teeth across the wet peak before nipping it, tugging the stiffened point ever so slightly between his teeth.  
“Daddy–oh!” You choke on a moan, and your spent pussy clenches around him so tight, your cunt is almost forcing him out. His hips buck into you harder in response, his thrusts growing more erratic as he seeks his own release. 
Joel hisses, mouth releasing your tit with a wet pop, “sweet Jesus, m’gonna give it to you real good, baby—like you deserve, fuck—”
He's cut off by the strangled groan that rips through his chest, his back arches off the headboard, and you feel him twitch. His grasp on your enervated form tightens, and then a blazing heat spreads inside you. His sweaty forehead falls to your dampened chest, the swell of your breasts cushioning the drop of his head, his body convulsing as he pumps upwards into your core. Cock pulsing and spasming within your walls as he continues to spill inside you, your belly swelling and set to burst full of his seed.  
Joel slumps back against the headboard, his arms loosen, but they don’t release you, just holds you there on top of him as he presses hasty kisses and whispers shaky sweet nothings into your hair while his hot seed dribbles out around his length, turning the hair at the root of his cock into a pool of sticky milky white.  
You don’t know if it’s minutes or hours that pass by as you stay limp in his lap, breathing in the sweat and sex on his skin as you snuggle back into his neck, the heat a low simmer. But when he runs a warm, wet rag between your legs and uses the same one to wipe your mixed wet off of his shaft before he tucks you in with a peck to your lips, the tip of your nose, a long kiss to your forehead, and lays himself on top of you with the full weight of him, pulling the comforter up to trap the heat of your bodies between you, sore cunt plugged with his softened cock once more, you know that he makes you feel whole. Not ruined or broken. Not stupid or useless or helpless. And in truth, it's all you’ve ever known with him.
As you slip gently into the waiting black, small fingers that draw circles into his silver curls come to a slow, you think you hear a quiet sigh — feel his lips lazily form around the words against your tacky skin — something of, you are good, angel tucked away into the valley between your naked breasts like a secret. And you think you believe him, and for now, that’s enough for you.
2K notes · View notes
rissouu · 3 months ago
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I KNOW IM YOUR FAVORITE, gojo satoru ཐི♡ཋྀ
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ᖭི༏ᖫྀ in which: he may be your ex, but that doesn’t mean you can just move on.
ᖭི༏ᖫྀ wc: 2.9k words.
ᖭི༏ᖫྀ warnings: lots of angst, dark content (not really), sexual content, pussy!drunk gojo, stalker!gojo, heavy possessiveness, mentions of violence, pet names, daddy kink, heavy breeding kink, baby trapping (but y/n wants it), gojo sucks ur feet for literally 1 second, yandere gojo (ehh), cunnilingus, overstimulation, toxic!gojo (barely), ex!gojo, and etc.
ᖭི༏ᖫྀ notes: okay look this shit is very freaky, and it’s loosely based on the song hold me down by daniel caesar! and gojo is a stalker y’all, this is your only warning babes.. please leave now if you’re uncomfy! he is kinda crazy in this but in a lovingly way.. y’know? not proofread either so not too much on me!
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when you walked into your apartment you couldn’t help the exaggerated giggles you let out. it was embarrassing actually, acting like a school girl in junior high all over again. the reason for your happiness was pretty simple— you just had your first date.
your first date since you broke up with your ex, gojo.
that was about a year ago now.. a year since you and the love of your life parted ways. up until recently you’ve never had the guts to put yourself out there again, always scared that one day you’ll just end up hurt again.
but your whole view on dating changed when you met this guy at a grocery store. he offered to pay for your entire cart, and it was well over $300 worth. you found the gesture sweet, and from there you two exchanged numbers.
he was no gojo of course, but you had to move on at some point. it’s already been a year, if gojo didn’t reach out yet, then maybe that meant he’d moved on too.
well.. so you thought.
you were so caught up in the excitement from how well your date went, you barely even realized you were still in pitch black.
“fuck i got so distracted i forgot to turn the lights on.” you chuckled to yourself, flipping the light switch on and hanging your purse on the door.
you didn’t know why but you had a feeling you weren’t alone, like someone was watching you— or better yet breathing right down your neck.
the house was eerily quiet, so quiet you could hear the drop of a pen. but something felt off about your apartment, and you were never one to ignore your instincts.
just as you were about to retreat and run out the door, a familiar voice had you stopping in your tracks.
no. fucking. way.
“where were you?” the achingly familiar man smiled, trying his best to hide the dangerous aura oozing from his body. he knew exactly where you were, and always have. you didn’t know it yet— but he’d been watching you for a while now. ever since you dumped him which was more than a year ago now.
technically it was stalking.. but he didn’t like to call it that. in his mind, he was more of a guardian angel— just making sure you’re okay and still breathing.
how else would he check on you since you blocked him on everything else?
the white haired man was sitting on your couch with his head tilted— clearly waiting for an answer although he already knew where you were to begin with. it was pretty easy to keep tabs on you.
you stared at him, a small frown forming across your face. you were feeling weak in the knees. the first thing you wanted to do was jump on him and tell him how much you missed him.
but you knew you couldn’t do that, not anymore. the two of you just didn’t go together, or at least that’s how you felt a year ago. you couldn’t get back with him, you wouldn’t. no matter how much it hurt.. it was better than dealing with his unstability.
“what are you doing in my house, gojo?” you folded your arms— staring back at him with the same expression he was giving you. that’s what he loved about you, you weren’t easy.
with the blink of an eye, he was up from the couch and coming closer towards you. the man easily towered over you so to say he was intimidating was an understatement.
instead of answering your question he just stared at you with a blank expression— and you did the same exact thing. this was common with you two, just staring at each other in silence until one of you dared to speak up.
about five minutes later, gojo finally cracked. you silently praised yourself for being able to last longer than him.
with a low chuckle, he shook his head— slightly licking over his lips. “i think im the one asking the questions here, hm? so answer me.”
you scoffed at his arrogance, seems like some things just never change. “i was on a date if you must know, now get the hell out of my house.”
as soon as you got your words out he couldn’t help but to laugh. honestly, gojo didn’t even know what was so funny, maybe it was the way you said it.. you really thought you held some type of authority?
“and now you’re laughing at me? what’s so funny?”
that only made him laugh more, truth be told gojo wasn’t even trying to laugh, but you trying to be somewhat “mean” was taking him out because you were nothing like that.
you were one of the kindest people he’d ever met, so this little act you had on was amusing to him.
“shit, im sorry!” he clutched his stomach, letting one last chuckle out before continuing. “it’s just.. you really think im falling for this little act of yours?”
your face was quick to scrunch up— finding every bit of his words disrespectful. but it was gojo, so what could you really expect? his bluntness would probably be the death of him.
“excuse me? need i remind you, we are not together anymore gojo!” your voice came out a lot shakier than you’d hoped for it to. what the hell was going on with you?
“well clearly i know that, or else i’d go and kill that fucker you were out with tonight.”
throwing your hands in the air you muttered a strand of curse words, it’s impossible to get through to someone as hard-headed as him. “please just see yourself out.”
before he could respond, you walked off toward your room. you didn’t have the energy to deal with him or his childish antics, he’d already managed to ruin your entire mood. all this did was remind you why you keep your heart locked away— because of arrogant assholes like him.
“there’s no need to be rude, y’know? i just wanna talk to my favorite girl.” gojo followed you to your room— just like you knew he would. god, he’s so annoying.
it looked the exact same as the last time he was here except for the empty wall where the pictures of him used to hang. he’d be lying if he said it didn’t make his chest heavy, and heart pang in sorrow. could you really have been done with him for good this time?
“whatever, just don’t get on my bed.. i don’t know where you’ve been.”
‘stalking you’ he chuckled to himself before completely disregarding your request, and plopping down on your bed anyways.
you decided not to scold him for doing exactly what you said not to do. that’s just who gojo was, no one could boss a man like him around.
you weren’t even being serious either. in hindsight, you really did enjoy having him around. as much as you hated to admit it.. it reminded you of the old times, when it was just you and him against the whole world.
“i missed you, y’know? you just up and left without a word.. and next thing i know im blocked.” even though he tried to hide it you could hear the pain in his voice. losing you was like losing a piece of him too, he couldn’t stand it. he couldn’t stand the way you made him feel.
the only reason the man was able to keep it together was because he was watching you, ensuring you weren’t completely out of his life.
it sounded crazy. hell— it was crazy, but when it came to you he’d do anything.
“i know.. & im sorry for the way i handled that. i just felt like we needed to move on, try new things…”
“i don’t want to try new things!” he scowled, quickly sitting up from the bed to face you. “i want you.. just you. that’s all i’ve ever wanted.”
the air was thick, and the room felt like it was caving in. your body was practically on fire listening to him say the words you’d been craving to hear.
“and about that date of yours..” he cooed, running his hands up your thighs and slowly spreading them. “we won’t be worrying about him anymore, will we?”
that little date was never a threat to gojo to begin with. both you and him knew that, but he took manners into his own hands just to mark his territory.
gojo made sure to corner the poor guy as soon as your date was over, and needless to say.. a few threats were all it took. you should be happy he didn’t do worse, it ran across his mind to kill the poor guy at first.
“i..if we do this then no more bullshit okay?” your soft hands gripped his chin as you forced his beautiful blue eyes to meet yours. “none of that childish stuff this time. we’re both grown so we need to act like it, we’ve had a whole year to fix ourselves.”
every time the two of you got back together it turned into complete chaos. gojo wasn’t the best man out there, and you weren’t the best woman. both of you had your own flaws regardless, but you two needed each other.
that was well established the first 10 times you guys broke up, and unsurprisingly you always ended up back in each other’s skin.
gojo’s gaze on you was heavy, almost as if he was trying to study your every breath and blink. all of the dumb, childish expressions on his face from before were far gone.
“yes princess, whatever you want.” he softly spoke as he sunk his head into the skin of your stomach, littering you with soft kisses. “i’ll do whatever you want..”
gojo spoke so gently— his voice softer than ever as he pushed you on your back, wrapping your legs around his shoulders.
you stared at him intently, waiting to see what he would do next. one thing about gojo was he always had something up his sleeve, and part of you knew where this was headed.
when his rough hands gripped the waistband of your flimsy skirt, you didn’t complain. actually you found yourself wanting more, longing for more.
“y’gonna let me get a taste baby? missed her s’much,” soft lips trailed up your thigh— leaving small bite imprints on the flesh. this was his way of staking his claim on you, marking you as his and only his.
you couldn’t stop the shaky sigh that fell from your lips, or the silent nod you gave to your ex-boyfriend for him to continue.
the grin that spread across his face was taunting almost, and intimidating. when that skirt of yours was out of the way, gojo moved on to the black-lace panties. his personal favorite.
“so what, you wearin’ these for other people now?” the fucking nerve of you, he couldn’t believe this. to stoop that low.. well that just won’t do. it seems like he had a few things to correct now that he was back. “fuckin’ answer me. be a good girl for me, yeah?”
your eyes locked with his and all you saw was silent fury, you could tell he was pissed. “not wearing them for anybody toru. just didn’t have any clean ones,”
a lazy grin covered his face at the remembrance of his old nickname, the way it fell from your lips so softly always managed to send heat straight to his dick.
he finally got his girl back.
faint kisses to your cunt had your legs shaking in anticipation— and the soft gasp that left your lips did nothing but egg gojo on as his tongue met your aching clit.
“pussy’s still fuckin’ pretty as ever,” with a low voice his eyes were closed shut, in hopes to savor every last bit of you. when his hands came up to your thighs he couldn’t resist the urge to spread them even further.
the man wanted to explore every inch of you since it’s been so long. so so long since he’s spent some personal time with that pretty pussy of yours.
“w..wait- fuck toru!” you whined when his lips found their way to your pulsing clit, folding his tongue up and down the gooey slit.
his assault to your pussy didn’t stop there. next his thumb was sliding down your sticky folds, not stopping until it was past your tight walls.
your mouth fell open at the intrusion. his thumb wasn’t long but it was thick, causing a bigger stretch than you’d expected.
“so good. taste’s s’good princess,” gojo mindlessly babbled, every word sending vibrations straight to your pussy.
gojo felt like he was out of his body. out of his mind, and he hadn’t even been inside you yet. just what the fuck were you doing to him?
finally fed up with the throbbing ache in his pants he latched onto your clit for a third time, giving it one last kiss before pulling away.
the man couldn’t wait any longer— he needed to be inside you, and he needed it now. before you knew it he was sliding off his sweats and everything underneath it, leaving him completely exposed.
your pussy throbbed just from the sight of him.. you didn’t know how much longer you could wait either.
“don’t worry mama, im ready for ya’.” a low chuckle left his throat when he saw you were just as desperate as him. “you ready for me?”
his blue eyes met your low ones when he slapped his tip against your folds. next he was sliding inside of your pulsing hole with ease, forcing your mouth open.
“o..oh my gosh!“ you winced at the familiar stretch, your walls involuntarily clenched around his dick— trying to push him out.
“n..no- fuck. none of that, y’hear me?” gojo whimpered at the feel of being squeezed, he couldn’t even move you were squeezing him so tight.
the man hovered over you, lips grazing your ear as he coaxed you. “let me in baby, you can do it. i know you can,” he whispered, wrapping his hand around your neck and resting it there.
his words of encouragement had you opening up quicker than he expected, and with every second he was inching deeper into your pussy. gojo felt like he was in a dream— or better yet, on cloud 9. after all that time you still feel the exact same, heavenly.
his strokes were gentle at first, but they sped up when he realized how long he was away from you. a whole year.. never again.
“n..never ever gonna let you keep this shit from me again.” gojo groaned with an edge in his voice that you couldn’t recognize.
your shaky hands wasted no time sliding under his shirt, feeling on the happy trail that covered his v-line. “not gonna take it away toru, ‘s all yours!”
gojo grinned at your words as he pressed onto your lower stomach. with his free hand he gripped onto the back of your thighs and brung your freshly done feet up to his mouth.
his lips wrapped around your toe— eyes locking with yours as he sucked on it. his strokes only got deeper, and you whimpered at all the different sensations at once.
“‘m not gonna pull out,” he admitted as he switched from sucking to leaving small kisses on your foot. “gonna cum so deep in this pretty pussy. never gonna leave me again.”
you were so out of it. drool everywhere, hair messy, tear stained cheeks.. anything gojo said went in one ear and out the other. the man could do whatever, you didn’t care.
“mm yes, don’t pull out. want it s’bad, fill me up please!” small whines filled your throat when you felt a familiar pressure in your abdomen, your pussy wrapping around him even tighter than before. how was this even possible?
gojo’s pace got faster, strokes sloppier.. he was slowly but surely losing all the sense of control he once had before. “f..fuckk ‘m gonna cum toru, so close!”
you gasped when his thumb flicked your clit, looking up at the blue eyes that never left your frame. your legs shook in overstimulation and you didn’t know how much longer you could hold it in.
“let it out mama, you’re okay. gimme all of it- shit.” he hissed as his dick twitched at how tight you were squeezing. “fuck fuck fuck, you’re gonna be such a pretty mama. s..such a pretty wifey, all f’me.”
you threw your head back as chills covered your entire body. the both of you were completely out of touch with reality, not caring about anything but the feeling of one another.
“‘m cumming toru! mhmm ‘m cumming,” you exclaimed, bringing your hand to his stomach. it wasn’t long before the built-up pit in your stomach finally snapped, coating his dick in a ring of your juices.
gojo was close behind you, a whimpering mess as his stomach tightened. before he knew it he was filling you up— spilling his load inside of you, not a drop to be wasted.
“f..fuck yeah. take it mama, it’s all yours. all for you.. gotta give you everything.” he chanted praises as he gave you one last stroke, pushing his cum even deeper into you where it belonged.
your voice was shaky when he called you, so shaky that at first you thought you wouldn’t be able to respond. but even so, you did.
“you’re never leaving me again, understand?” the edge in his voice was back, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make your stomach do flips.
“yes toru, i understand.”
if there’s anything you learned from this at all.. it’s that you could never leave a man like gojo satoru.
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©rissouu 2025 (this one’s for dulce y’all so thank her, it took me forever *sigh*)
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hellokittykookies · 2 months ago
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Pose for me - J.JK -
──── sypnosis ✮⋆˙ After years of running from the life you never wanted, you thought you had finally succeeded. erasing y/n, becoming ji-ha, and leaving your past behind. But then came him. A model you accidentally brought to a cotillion, a man effortlessly loved by the woman who had become family to you. And it just so happens He was connected to the one person you abandoned nine years ago. You were supposed to avoid him. To walk away. So why did you keep finding yourself right next to him?
──── pairings ✮⋆˙ Model! jk x Photographer! reader (y/n also ji ah)
──── genre ✮⋆˙ slow burn, fake dating, forced proximity, angst, romance, mutual pining, emotional hurt/comfort, smut, hidden identity, jealousy, high fashion industry setting
──── contents ✮⋆˙ simp!jungkook, creative director!reader, reader works at dior, model!jungkook, jealousy, secret lingering touches, soft but intense sexual tension, rich! reader, rich! jungkook, domestic moments, unresolved tension, slow trust-building, implied sex (not detailed) unprotected sex (it's not detailed. just implied), family issues, abandonment themes, identity struggles, missing person case mentions, emotional breakdowns, trust issues, georgina is inspired by georgina sparks, inspired by gossip girl and devil wears prada, brother! taehyung, assistant! georgina, calvin klein jungkook, jungkook is like the main main model or the face of calvin klein, part time photographer! reader (it's her side quest pls), petty fights, bickering, push and pull?, nepo baby! jk (mentioned), make outs, kissing, teasing, curse words.
──── notes ✮⋆˙ this was last year. i haven't written anything in a while. i was looking or browsing my works on wattpad and saw this fic that i completely forgot about. i posted a poll and yall voted for me to post it so here it is! your wish is my command. haha. i'm still not sure if i wanna come back to writing but this fic is making me want to. the problem? no motivations and my words aren't still wording like before. i made my friend read the whole fic and helped me fix it and edit it so here it iss! most of the fics that were posted here in my acc will be reposted in ao3 or wattpad. reading this fic was mind blowing to me honestly. i feel proud about this.... i'm sorry if it doesn't feel rght or not omg i am not an expert at these things. i searched and researched stuff about devil wears prada outfits to change her outfits cuz it was sooo bad in the draft. like... tf you mean you're THAT rich and you're wearing forever 21 skinny jeans with fucking fitted top?? omg... my friend and i was cringing sooo baaddd. the amount of times i wrote "your breath hitched" "then" "smirk" what the fuck honestly... wrote this like actually july 2024 or something. i tried my best making this better so pls bare with me. the contents are there and the notes is here. if you don't like it feel free to give feedbacks but pls make it a little nicer maybe? also this was the time i was soo obsessed with devil wears prada. me and my friend changed the names, characters and some of the character traits cuz we thought it'd be fun if we added georgina sparks inspired character here (minus the part where she always want drama or trouble ofc), again i am not an expert at these stuff. had to literally ask my mom shit about her bags and designer stuff when i was re editing this. also i looovveee calvin klein jk omg... i can NEVER get over that era. we made ocs character a little bit moree pushy and stuff like pushing jk away and more in denial lmao. don't even know if this is slow burn or not but whatever.
──── WC ✮⋆˙ 34k
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willreigns · 2 months ago
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Waiting
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Nothing changed Levi, he’s always been like this—broody—not so much the forgetful part. But you loved him anyway, and that was enough for him.
It started with the little things, until Levi forgot to shut off the sink one night, ruining the kitchen floorboards.
CW: Post-war Levi x fem!reader, angst, memory and cognitive decline, major character death
A/N: I cried while I wrote this. Happy late Valentine's Day XOXO ~2.2k words
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It started with the little things. A forgetfulness masked by old age, and yet it always felt like something more. 
Levi Ackerman was anything if not prideful, and yet the confusion that dazed him at times forced him to tell you, his beautiful wife, that he was struggling with something deep, so much so that you urged him to visit the doctor.
He hated doctors. He had enough of them after the Battle of Heaven and Earth. Prodding, pestering, painfully pricking at him to ensure he remained alive until adequate care could arrive. Who would’ve known it’d take weeks?
And so, Levi hated doctors—but he loved you, his wife, so much that he’d bear through another annoying visit. If anything to soothe your mind that this is just him in his old age, that this is nothing more than another bumpy hill before he’d get better.
He saw it all his mind, you’d wheel him to the doctor’s office, just so that they’d tell him the war changed him, and that many war veterans face mental struggles. Then they’d charge an arm and a leg for the “prognosis”. You’d happily give payment if it meant Levi’s just fine—as fine as Levi Ackerman could be, but fine was good.
Nothing changed Levi, he’s always been like this—broody—not so much the forgetful part. But you loved him anyway, and that was enough for him.
It started with the little things, until Levi forgot to shut off the sink one night, ruining the kitchen floorboards.
You’d seen Levi swing through trees to face the ugliest of titans, seen him fight through despite the pains in his body, and yet that first harrowing face of forgetfulness stuck with you.
The doctor’s appointment was moved up from next month to next week. 
You wheeled him to the office, hands on the push handles subtly shifting every now and then to pull the graying bangs from his forehead to behind his ear. His hair is getting long, you think. It’s time for a haircut and he hasn’t even mentioned it.
The doctor says that war changed Levi. That many war veterans face many mental illnesses—and yet Levi’s is a strange and unique one, one that the doctor’s heard of but very, very rarely. As if done with the novelty of being “unique”, Levi scoffs at the doctor, limping from the examination table back to his wheelchair.
“Well then, your job is to cure this right?” The doctor’s face is blank and expressionless.
“There’s no cure.”
The walk back to your home is silent, more silent than you think you can bear. Your hands on Levi’s push handles stay put, no longer casting them towards his hair for loving caresses. You don’t want to impose on his boundaries after a conversation like this—Levi wishes you would.
Dinner is eaten silently, deep contemplation overtakes the both of you.
“Screw what the doctor said,” he utters.
“What?”
“I said screw what the doctor said, I just won’t forget. I can’t imagine it can be so difficult.” For some reason, it felt like the easiest solution in the world. You beam at him and the hopeful look in your eyes make him feel warm.
Of course, you think, Levi won’t let you down. Levi who's survived it all would fight this too, and things will be as normal as they can be.
“What’s with the shit eating grin,” Levi asks you one afternoon. You had just come back from the local market.
“I brought you this journal,” and you shove the bound papers into his lap.
“You can write everything you remember, the ladies at the market told me it helps with memory loss.”
“You didn’t—”
“No, I haven’t.”
Levi’s reluctance to let anybody know his illness was debilitating, your friends would definitely care if something were going on. But Levi’s image has already been impacted once—he didn’t want to add another smear to the already imperfect painting.
And so, Levi writes, albeit only in the evenings and when you are fast asleep. He writes of his mother, his friends, his squad, Hange and Erwin.
He writes about you.
Your name, the day he met you, a cheeky soldier with a death wish, as he likes to say. He writes about the day he told he you he loved you and first kissed you, the day he married you. He wrote about it while it was still fresh in his mind, where he willed for it to remain, where he begged for it to remain, for the rest of his life.
Levi forgets your birthday. 
It’s a good thing others didn’t, because neighbors and friends arrived to give you well wishes. He kisses you at the end of the night and you smile at him, and you forget about him forgetting.
Levi forgets about the chicken in the oven.
Fortunately, you arrive on time to salvage dinner, some of the skin burned, but digestible. He apologizes, face red in embarrassment. You tell him it’s nothing.
Every morning you inspect the journal while Levi rests, warm with the memories that still persist. Levi’s fighting, you think to yourself, everything will be alright.
Things remain in limbo for a while, with you picking up the pieces of Levi’s forgetting mind and putting them in their place. It remains like that for a while, you reminding Levi of the things he’s supposed to be doing. 
Suddenly, so suddenly, you come home one morning to find Levi struggling to stand, finding support in the nearby table.
“Levi,” you exclaim, “what the hell are you doing?”
He seems almost startled by you, but he clenches his jaw in defiance.
“Where the hell is everybody? We need to stop Eren, and I’m just sitting here doing nothing.”
Suddenly, so suddenly, it’s like you’ve woken up and are facing reality for the first time. 
The tears slip from your eyes, the hands by your side clenching and unclenching into fists. Levi looks at you with a stern expression, calling your name, but you ignore him as you walk away. You hide in your bedroom.
Levi talks of titans for two days straight, washes the same dishes several times, asks you where Hange and Erwin were, before finally snapping back into reality.
You’re crumpled on your bed and he sinks there with you, head falling into your shoulder. He’s silent in quiet horror, you’re silent in quiet loneliness. He apologizes over and over. You tell him it’s okay.
The frayed edges of Levi’s mind begin to tear at the seams, the gaps in his mind no longer something he can conceal. He wills himself to write. Where there was once lengthy journal entries, now repetitive sentences covered the pages.
We are living in year 86x. The war has ended.
Erwin Smith is dead. Hange Zoe is dead.
The war has ended.
The war has ended.
The war has ended.
Levi forgets your anniversary, Levi forgets to bathe, Levi forgets the route home when he steps out to buy…something—he can’t remember what he was supposed to buy.
To avoid your pained gaze, Levi’s wheelchair permanently lives near the window in the corner of the living room. Away from disturbing you, away from being near you.
Things remain like this for a while. You wait—for what, you don’t really know. You watch Levi scramble day in and day out, until he finally stills, hands in his lap, staring outside the window.
After months, you inspect his journal, wanting to feel hope, wanting to remind yourself that Levi’s fighting, that he’s trying.
The last journal entry was weeks ago. All that remain are scribbles. Levi remembers the routine, but does’t remember what he’s supposed to do. 
The doctor says there’s nothing left to do, and so you watch your husband implode. And oh you wouldn’t wish this on your worst enemy. To watch the man that loves you forget you. To watch as the man you love forgets everything.
Levi’s exhaustion is apparent from where he sits. He holds his teacup, fingers feeling weird where they were. Why does he hold teacups like this?
But only when he forgets your name does your own world implode, the bits and pieces of your self floating, with nobody to piece you together.
He doesn’t sleep in your bedroom anymore, only married people do that. In Levi’s mind, he’s respecting you, an unmarried woman, and so his permanent spot by the window also becomes the spot where he sleeps.
The doctor gives him a couple of more weeks, but it’s months of confusion, months of gazing into nothing, grasping at far away memories. 
Where’s Erwin?
Where’s Furlan and Isabel?
Where’s my mother?
You remind Levi that they’re gone, but that they’re waiting for him. Wherever they are.
You wait. For what, you don’t know.
It’s months of self hatred, before for a moment, Levi finds relief; clarity.
You catch him staring at you one evening, when you’re cleaning the dishes of tonight’s dinner.
“You remind me of someone I used to love,” Levi tells you.
Your heart catches, blood freezing, before you smile, a shaky breath escaping you.
“Yeah,” you respond, “used to?” 
Levi stays silent. You’ve long gotten used to the silence and the quiet contemplation, but for some reason you are compelled to look at him.
You are used to his lost gaze, used to the permanent furrowed brows that are always deep in thought. Is it your lover trying to remember you? The fighter in him, still combatting the destruction of his mind?
You look at him like a teacher looks at their student, the answer at the tip of their tongue, the knowledge in the deepest part of their mind, waiting to be brought out.
You are used to the defeated glance of despair, the quiet confusion that tells you help me.
You are not used to, however, the look that now graced Levi’s face.
Recognition. It startles you. It startles him.
He calls your name and your breath hitches. You can’t help the tears that slip. He says your name, over and over again and you walk over from the kitchen counter to his spot by the window, toppling over his wheelchair in an embrace. Your face falls into the crook of his neck as he wraps his arms around you.
“You married me,” he says quietly, “why?”
You’re quiet, not trusting your voice to not fall and break down, but force yourself to speak anyway.
“I love you,” you say, voice hoarse, “that’s why.”
Neither of you say anything else. His face falls into your shoulder and he breathes you in—you smell familiar, look familiar too. Perhaps Erwin and Hange can tell him later who you are and why you’re embracing him. You’re just too warm to let go right now. All he knows is that you’re his wife—his beautiful wife.
For the first time in a long time, Levi wheels himself into your shared bedroom and sleeps next to you. For the first time in a long time, things feel normal.
That chilly evening, Levi left your world.
It wasn’t his world anymore, no—hadn’t been his world in a long time. His permanently furrowed brows have relaxed, and finally his face appeared peaceful. You were glad. Even if you sobbed quietly for him to come back, you were glad.
All that was left was to wait.
You waited.
You waited for death.
Your gray hair swayed with the breeze one fateful morning. Something clicked within you, something about the peace that morning made you smile an all knowing smile. What’s with the shit-eating grin, you could almost hear Levi ask you. 
That night, neighbors and former comrades surrounded you, their children in another room to spare them the pain and grief that came with death. You were glad that they didn’t have to see you. At a young age you had been a witness to countless deaths at the hands of titans and the world, let them salvage their innocence for a bit longer.
You were in delirium. You were drifting, memories and glimpses of your life flashing before you, it all felt so real. Your parents, the scouts, the war. The most prominent moments though were the ones with Levi. It was then you realized that you had almost forgotten what he looked like before his injuries. You had almost forgotten what he sounded like before illness overtook him.
Captain Levi Ackerman. A symbol of hope.
Levi. Just Levi. The man you had fallen in love with.
You smiled fondly as you felt the tendrils of your mortality begin to blur; the feeling of peace filled you, it felt like falling into a deep sleep. And the peace continued to lull you, leading you to nothing and infinity all at the same time. 
You wandered, away from the cries of the world, and suddenly, a silence.
Then, you saw him. Your face broke out into a beaming smile.
“Levi,” you called out to your lover, your feet moving automatically to reach him.
There he was, his vision clear, his limbs intact, not a single layer of exhaustion on him. His face broke out in a small smile and he called out to you; you felt whole again.
There he was. Waiting for you. 
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rafes-slut · 1 month ago
Note
Whaaattt about You overheard rafe and his friend talking about the new girl in town so later that night when rafe is fucking you- you moan out one of his friends names on purpose?
Say His Name Again
Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Female Reader
Warnings: SMUT (18+ ONLY), dom/sub undertones, jealousy, possessiveness, rough sex, revenge, degradation, choking, hair pulling, orgasm denial, Rafe being toxic and unhinged, foul language, semi-public tension, possessive behavior, toxic relationship dynamics, manipulation, heavy angst, brief mention of infidelity rumors, over-the-top reaction, reader moaning another man’s name for revenge.
You knew what you heard.
You hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. Not really. But when Rafe was talking loud as hell with his friends out by the pool, practically yelling over the music and the laughter, your ears tuned in—especially when you heard her name.
Some new girl. Some random nobody you didn’t even know. Apparently, she was “fine as hell,” with “the kind of ass you just wanna bite” and “a mouth made for sin.”
You heard him say that. You heard Rafe say that.
And it fucking broke something in you.
You didn’t even remember what the excuse was you used to leave the party early, but you couldn’t stay and watch him act like he wasn’t already spoken for. Like he didn’t have you. Like he didn’t already get everything he needed and more from your mouth, your ass, your everything.
The rage brewed in your gut for hours.
By the time he stumbled into the house later that night, a little buzzed and definitely unaware of the storm you were about to unleash on him, you already had a plan.
Rafe thought he was going to walk in, get in your bed, and fuck you until you forgot every single thing he’d said earlier.
No. You were going to fuck him up first.
“Get on the bed.”
You didn’t wait for him to get settled. As soon as he closed the bedroom door, you turned on him, voice sharp and commanding, your eyes dark and unreadable.
Rafe blinked, a cocky smirk tugging at his lips, amused and already turned on by your tone.
“Oh? You missed me that bad, huh?”
You didn’t answer. Just stared at him, waiting.
Rafe stripped, slow at first, until he realized you weren’t playing games. His shirt hit the floor, then his jeans. You were already naked, sitting on the edge of the bed with your legs spread just enough to tease him, just enough to control him.
He groaned under his breath, cock already hardening at the sight of you.
“You’re so fuckin’ hot, you know that?” he muttered as he crawled onto the bed, towering over you, hand gripping your thigh.
But you moved faster, flipping him onto his back, straddling him, grinding against his bare cock without letting him in.
Rafe’s hands shot to your hips, but you slapped them away.
“I said—I’m in charge tonight.”
Something flickered in his eyes. Surprise. Then excitement. Then…confusion.
He liked when you got like this—rough, demanding, mean. But this wasn’t just some fun little roleplay. You were pissed.
And you were going to make him feel it.
You rode him hard. Not with love. Not with passion. With rage. With purpose. You used him like he was nothing more than a toy under you, nails digging into his chest, hair wild around your face as you bounced on his cock like it was the last thing you’d ever do.
Rafe was loving it, moaning, cursing, gripping the sheets until his knuckles turned white.
“Fuck, baby, just like that—shit—you’re so tight—you’re mine, you hear me?”
You didn’t respond.
Not with words.
Not until he was close.
Until Rafe was falling apart under you, eyes squeezed shut, hands now gripping your ass, slamming you down onto his cock harder, faster, desperate for release.
That’s when you leaned forward, lips brushing against his ear—and let it rip.
“Oh, fuck, Topper.”
Rafe’s eyes snapped open. His whole body stiffened.
“What the fuck—?”
You said it again, louder, moaning it like you meant it this time.
“Oh my god, Topper, right there—right fucking there.”
Everything stopped.
Rafe’s hands grabbed you, lifted you off of him like you were nothing, slammed you down onto your back.
“What the fuck did you just say?” His voice was low. Deadly. He loomed over you, chest heaving, his cock still rock hard, slick with your arousal, but his *eyes—*they were murderous.
You smiled sweetly, even as your heart pounded in your chest.
“You heard me,” you whispered, running your tongue over your bottom lip like you weren’t scared shitless. “Or are you too drunk to remember names tonight?”
Boom. You watched it hit him—the reason. The realization of what you’d heard earlier. And that rage in your chest? It had now transferred directly into his.
Rafe’s hand wrapped around your throat in an instant, not choking, just holding—just letting you feel the power he had over you.
“You think you’re fuckin’ funny?” His voice was low, shaking. “You think you can say his name while I’m inside you? You really wanna test me like that?”
You tilted your chin up, lips curling into a smirk.
“I just wanted to know how it feels to be disrespected, Rafe. Like I’m not even here. Like I’m not enough for you.”
He didn’t like that. Not one bit.
Rafe growled, hand tightening just enough to make you gasp, to make your thighs squeeze together. He saw it. He felt it.
“You’re such a fuckin’ brat,” he hissed. “Such a jealous, needy, little slut. You think I want her? You think I’d let you ride my dick like that if I wanted anyone but you?”
He pulled back, standing at the edge of the bed.
“Get the fuck on your knees.”
You obeyed, trembling—not from fear. From anticipation. Because when Rafe got like this? You never knew how far he’d go.
He gripped your jaw, forcing your eyes up to meet his.
“You wanna play games? Say his name again, sweetheart. Say it one more fuckin’ time, and I’ll ruin you. You won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”
You stared up at him, mouth parted, breath heavy. Your hand moved to stroke his cock, slow and teasing.
“…Topper.”
Rafe grabbed you by the hair, yanking you up, bending you over the bed in one brutal movement.
“No mercy now, bitch.”
He slammed into you from behind, no buildup, no warning. Just rough, deep, punishing thrusts. The bed creaked under you, headboard slamming the wall with each savage movement.
You screamed—his name, this time. Over and over.
“Rafe—Rafe—I’m sorry—I’m sorry—”
But he wasn’t listening.
“You wanna be a little whore? You wanna moan another man’s name while I’m fuckin’ you? Let’s see if he can make you come like this.”
You cried out, legs shaking, body limp, unable to fight him even if you wanted to.
Rafe owned you now.
By the time he was done, you couldn’t speak. Couldn’t move.
You were wrecked.
And Rafe. He wasn’t satisfied yet.
His hand cupped your cheek, forcing you to look at him.
“Mine. Say it.”
You nodded weakly, voice broken.
“Yours.”
“Say his name again. Go on.”
You couldn’t. You wouldn’t.
He smirked.
“Didn’t think so.”
744 notes · View notes
awrkive · 2 months ago
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NEIGHBOR BLUNDER, pt. 4 — JJK
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in hindsight, you should have seen it coming. had always known your luck – or lack of it, thereof – and the universe's meticulous plan of your downfall made it easy for you to get tangled up in a series of unfortunate events, which presents itself as the neighbor that lives across from you, jeon jungkook.
PAIRING jungkook x (fem) reader
GENRE r18+ (fluff, angst, smut) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
CHAPTER WORD COUNT 17.1K words
CHAPTER WARNINGS/MISC neighbor!jk, bsf!jimin, accountant!oc software engineer!jk, jk and jimin are chaebols lol, minjoon boyfriends <<<<3, mature language, alcohol consumption, misogyny 🫤, club fight... but also lots of screaming into your pillow moments part 2, oc goes twenty different emptions in like..one hour (my babyy😖) and uhhhhhh the biggest warning of them all: jungkook pov and the ending😖
NOTES pls pretend you didnt see that post earlier,, it was a testament to my failure lets forget about it anyway WE ARE SOOOO SOO BACK!! hope you guys enjoy this one and as usual, let me know what you think and lets chat!!
[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] // [ MAIN MASTERLIST ]
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“I’m coming home!” Were Jimin’s first words as soon as you answer his facetime invite. 
With eyes barely open, you push your face deeper in the plush of your pillows, groaning. 
“Jimin, it’s six am.” 
“And?” Jimin dismisses. “We ought to celebrate!” 
“I’m not even up yet.”
“So, you hate me.” 
You let out a grumble, this time snapping your eyes fully open to see Jimin’s brow arched your way, his attitude reaching you even when you're a thousand miles apart. Classic Jimin. 
“You’re a drama queen, and for the record, I got everything covered. Octagon, VIP area, 1 am. Dress slutty. Have fun, loosen up. Go crazy.” 
“O– kay ,” Jimin says, chuckling in amusement at your flat tone with your deadpanned face. “God, I just can’t wait to go back. You will not believe all of the shit I’ll be telling you once I get there.” 
You prop your phone on your nightstand and begin to stretch on your bed. “You better tell me you have Italian men’s IGs to refer to me.” you joke. Sleep is slowly starting to fade away from your system. Glancing at the wall clock from across the room, you take note it’s almost time to get ready for work.w
“Please,” he rolls his eyes. “As if you’re gonna respond when they do send you a DM.” 
That earns an abrupt laugh from you. “I do respond, though.” you giggle. You stand up from the bed, carrying the phone with you as you head to the living room to prepare your breakfast. 
“Babe, you’ve responded to two out of ten men I referred to you, and you ghosted two, by the way.” 
You look at him in shock. “What, you supported me!” 
“Still, though… ugh, the Wooseok guy still asks about you, by the way. It was literally so awkward when we met at that– I forgot, but it was a party.” 
You cringe internally, and it probably translates to your face because you hear Jimin laughing from the other side of the line. Shaking your head, you tell Jimin, “Nope– not gonna feel sorry. He was weird as fuck, and I genuinely think – still to this day – that he’s a fury.” 
Jimin’s expression morphs into distaste. “Yeah, no, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was true based on the stories you told me but I swear to you he felt like a normal person to me when we first met.” You and Jimin both gave each other a knowing smile; pursed lips and a scrunched nose, already getting where both your heads are at. But Jimin swerves to the next subject smoothly, “Anyway, I see your apartment’s all fixed, considering you’re there.” 
You light up at the mention and nod. Looking around, you can’t help the smile that spreads over your lips, thinking that finally, it’s all okay now. Like nothing even happened.
“Oh, yeah. It actually is.” you say, enthusiasm apparent in your voice.
“You know you could’ve stayed at my place, right?”
You give him a dismissive wave of your hand, despite smiling still, appreciating the offer regardless. You know you could’ve and that he wouldn’t have minded, but, “Yeah, no, I didn’t want to impose.”
That earns an instant eye roll from Jimin, followed by a scoff, “You’re literally my blood sister.”
“I know! But remember when I had to stay over at your place for three days earlier this year because of some gas leak…” you bring it up, “I swear this complex is out to get me.”
“You need to move out.”
The impassive look you give him is almost warranted.
“And you need to give me a new job for that.” 
Jimin snickers. “... which would be quite ironic because I don’t even have one in the first place.” 
You know it’s a bummer subject but since he mentioned it, anyway, you decide to ask, “How’s the training going, by the way? Pretty sure Ms. Lim has blown up your phone over the course of your absence.” Ms. Lim is the PR head of their company, and Jimin instantly sours at the mention of her name. 
With a grimace, he completely shuts down the subject. “I don’t even wanna talk about it.” 
You give him a sympathizing smile before Jimin picks up the conversation with a more not-so-bummer subject. He asked you how work has been, and he told you all about the places he and Namjoon went to in Italy. He asked about your thing with Taemu, and you could only give him a sheepish smile, one that he chastised you for because “how dare you keep slutty information from me!” . You almost feel bad because it wasn’t that at all, but because you didn’t want to dig deeper into your own grave, you decided to change the topic and talked about how you two are going to spend the night later on when you meet, and soon, you had to end the call so you can catch your bus. 
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Jimin has always told you you’re a bad liar. You couldn’t lie even if your life depended on it. But you do it, anyway, even though many instances have already proved the notion right, and one of them presents itself now.
“Sol, I have a question.” You feel bad for your lip as you have to nibble on it for what seemed to be the nth time for the day, treading on your thoughts lightly as Sol turns to look at your side to acknowledge you.
She casts one last glance on her computer before saying, “Is it controversial?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, ask Junhwi,” that earns an eye roll from you instantly, making Sol snicker a quiet laughter. “Kidding. What is it?” 
You’re currently on your lunch break, and what’s the harm in talking about a few things in your head that’s been keeping you up all night these past few days?
“Okay…” you begin, making sure to look around and confirm nobody’s listening. They probably are not and couldn’t care less either. “So this happened to a friend.” you say, as if putting out a disclaimer, gauging Sol’s face for a reaction. 
There wasn’t much. She just raised an intrigued brow, “Uh-huh.”  
How do you even begin? 
“So… she’s kind of talking to this guy,” you start, furrowing your brows, actively thinking about your choice of words. Your friend hums and you continue, “Then one time, this guy sort of like– she’s not exactly sure, but he kind of… tried to kiss her?” You didn’t mean for that to sound so unsure.
With the way Sol’s brow has arched way more at that, you imagine she’s noticing your hesitance in speaking about this in the first place.
“How do you kind of try to kiss a person?”
“Like, they were hugging. Or whatever–” you try to not let yourself be too descriptive, but in the process of that, pictures of that night come flashing in your head. Against your better judgement, there’s heat that creeps up in your cheeks when you get your next words out, “The guy just, uh, swooped down for a kiss. I mean, he was supposed to go for a kiss. But then the girl– my friend– dodged it. So basically, nothing happened.” 
“Why? She doesn’t like him?” 
“That…” Sol probably didn’t mean to but she definitely catches your tongue with the question. You lean back, blinking at her. “I… hah . That’s the… thing. I think… she likes him. But she’s not sure. I think she’s having second thoughts… but to be honest I think she has a crush on the guy but she’s trying to pull herself away from it but then she can’t do it because things are starting to feel a little different.” You let out one heavy puff after you spit the monologue out in one breathing. If Sol was already looking at you weird a few seconds ago, you’re now convinced you’ve unknowingly grown another head behind you. But you continue anyway. “... what does all of that mean?”   
“O… kay,” She says, sounding a little uncertain. She turns her body to you now completely. With the way she scoots her chair closer to you, leaning forward and hunching to be in your earshot, you realize she’s actually just become more invested. “Babe, you have to walk me through this like I’m five. So you and this guy are talking, you have a crush on him, and then he tried to kiss you, but you dodged it. Right?”
“Yeah! Something like that–” and upon realizing that you walked into a trap without even that much effort coming from her, your eyes widen while your friend just grins at you like she knew that was coming. You shake your head vehemently. “Wait, no, no, no. It’s not me.” 
Sol rolls her eyes. Your shoulders deflate. 
You see, Jimin is always right about everything. When he told you you suck ass at lying and you should never try it, he was just looking out for you. And why are you so surprised when these past few weeks, all your lies have blown up right in your face? And at the most inconvenient times and places too, at that – if seeing Jungkook at Jimin’s mom’s birthday party and seeing him in your company’s elevator is anything to go by.
“Alright, it’s me.” you say with a defeated tone. 
Sol stares at you with her squinted eyes. “You whore. Who’s the guy?”
And how are you supposed to say it’s Jeon Jungkook, the one who’s like seven floors above you, the son of the president of the very company you’re currently working in right now, and the interim CTO as of the moment and then expect her to believe you? 
So you shrug, shaking your head. “It’s not anyone you know.”
“Well, thank god! I don’t know anyone who’s decent enough to date any of my friends!” You’re about to thank the heavens when you thought she wouldn’t dig too much into that, but then she adds, “Show me a pic.” She excitedly huddles closer to you, looking right at your phone on your desk.
Well, no. 
“Nah, that’s not relevant to the issue at hand. And… the whole thing’s not even serious–” A blatant lie, but you carry through, “And the… almost-kiss happened, like, two days ago and I’m still–” you cut yourself off with a pained groan, which makes Sol look at you with concern. You purse your lips into a thin line, then. “We were actually drinking at his place together. So we were both kind of drunk? Though that was me mostly. I’m thinking, maybe, I misjudged the whole thing or worse, I just imagined it.” 
“Don’t be ridiculous. That’s way too elaborate and your feelings about this feels way too real to just come from an imagination. You said he tried to kiss you, right?” She grazes you with a gentle nudge on the arm. 
“Maybe?” 
“What do you mean, maybe?”
“I don’t know. It was just weird. I swear he tried to kiss me, but I could be wrong. I couldn’t think of reasons for him to try to do that. And I don’t even know why I avoided it in the first place.” You say with a frown, and then sighing when you realize your own thought process doesn’t make any sense.
“Well, what happened after?” 
You grimace. “I told him we should probably sleep,” You remember him carrying you to his bedroom – and as per your shameless request, at that. You intentionally leave that out because even you cannot comprehend what it meant. Why did Jungkook do all that? And did he , really? Or you just somehow deluded yourself into thinking that there is more to his actions rather than what they really are on the surface? “He was just like… he laughed it off, then that was the last of it. I slept in his room alone, and the morning after, I went out because he wasn’t there anymore. Went to work early.”
Sol gasps. “Oh brother…”
Your heart begins to hammer at her tone.
“What.”
“He hasn’t reached out after that night?” 
You wince, and not because of what she thinks it’s for.
“He actually did,” Sol looks at you in question, rightfully so. You nibble on your bottom lip before elaborating, “So a few days before that happened, he bought me a couch cushion. And then he texted me if I wanted it because I didn’t bring it with me when I left his apartment.” 
You can see Sol’s confusion beginning to draw on her face. “I’m sorry, he bought you a what?”
“A cushion.”
It takes her a few seconds to form a response. “You know what, I’m not even gonna ask why. But you know what I’m very certain of right now?” 
“... what?”
“You should’ve married him on the spot.”
“What?”
Sol snickers an overjoyed laugh, clearly pleased with herself at your incredulous reaction. “No, it totally makes sense, trust me. But okay. Then what happened after? What did you say to his text?” You stare at each other for awhile, with Sol smiling brightly, obviously expecting you to say something good. You grind your teeth to avoid cringing as you brace yourself for what’s to come, and as if realizing that from your face, Sol frowns. “Oh my god, don’t tell me you haven’t replied to him!”
You can’t help but wince. “Would you hate me if I confirm that?”
“Oh my god.”
“Yeah…”
“Well, damn. I can’t help you.”
“Ugh…” You groan, bringing your palms to your cheeks, pouting at her, feeling sort of defeated at this point. 
Sol dramatically holds one hand out, giving it an upward flick as if to tell you you’re being ridiculous for not seeing a point so clearly soon. “Obviously, this guy likes you! That man wants to fuck you ten ways to Sunday but also wants to wife you up and pay your mortgage in straight cash as well as your water and electricity bills. And he’d most likely set up your nonexistent kids’ trust funds the first month into the marriage because he just wants to make sure.”
Your jaw drops. “Okay…? Now you’re doing too much.”
She rolls her eyes in response, as if what she said is a totally normal response.
“You’re dense, it’s crazy. You couldn’t think of a reason why he tried to kiss you? Listen, why would you want to kiss someone? Because you like them. Of course he likes you! And he asked you about the cushion because he probably didn’t want to bombard you with questions about what happened the previous night. It shows he still wants to keep whatever it is you have going on.”
You sigh, seeing her point. “I… know.”
“You don’t wanna make a move? I mean, you seem to really like him.” Sol says, looking at your face. You give her a slight nod, feeling that there’s no use denying that. 
But…
“I can’t, though.” you say, pursing your lips. 
Frowning, Sol tilts her head in genuine confusion. “Why?”
“Because he’s…” you try to think of any adjectives to describe Jungkook. He’s… charming. Kind. Smart. Funny, in his own little way. So down to earth. Handsome. Pretty. Tall. Really… big– muscly in all the right ways. But those things are not helpful to justify your case on why you don’t want to pursue… whatever it is you two have going on. Because as much as the sole memory of him holding your waist while he leaned down to your face caressing your cheeks in the way he softly did, his cologne wafting your senses into dysfunction, he’s still someone that you just can’t get involved with. “He’s just really out of my league.”
A few beats. Then, Sol raises her eyebrow.
“That’s it?” Sol asks, “That’s the big reveal?” 
“... Yeah?”
“Honey, a man can never be out of any woman’s league.” 
“I–” you crack a chuckle, rolling your eyes but smiling anyway. “I know what you mean. But he’s genuinely really out of an average person’s league, I’m telling you.”
“What, does he have a Nobel prize or something?”
You laugh, nudging Sol. She mirrors your laughter.
When you settle down into silence again, you tell her, “He’s a… he’s really nice and sweet, though he doesn’t have a Nobel prize–” you roll your eyes playfully when Sol laughs again. “But yeah, I don’t know. I’m still… confused about my own feelings. I’ve always had a crush on him ever since I first met him, and I just always kind of shrugged it off? But ever since that night… I’ve been feeling weird. And I haven’t talked to him, haven’t replied to any of his texts yet. You know how non confrontational I am and it gets really bad, but I just genuinely don’t know how to approach this. The whole thing is confusing.”
Sol gives you a sympathetic smile. “I get that.”
Nodding, you continue speaking your thoughts, “You know the thing about nice guys… it’s that, they’re so nice that you can’t figure out if you just put yourself into a deep psychosis where they care about you more than they do with other people. And it’s like, yeah, it’s nice that he’s sweet, but what if he’s just like that with everybody?”
“You mean you think he also tries to kiss everybody?” Sol quips.
You chuckle. She got you there. “Come on.”
“Okay, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it!” Giving you a gentle pat on the shoulder, Sol gently says. “I think what you need to do right now is just be honest to yourself first. Really try to figure out if you like this guy romantically or not.”
“That’s the thing, I just genuinely don’t know. I like the idea, maybe?” 
She nods. “Then just enjoy the flow for the meantime? I do think there’s something in there, though.” 
“Really?” you didn’t mean to perk up at that but you did, anyway, making Sol smile, even though she doesn’t point that out.  
“Of course I won’t know completely. Unless you show me this guy…” 
You laugh, shaking your head. “I’m sorry about this gossip turned into bummer stuff. I know it’s depressing.” 
“I don’t mind,” She shrugs coolly. “You listen to my boy problems all the time. And Jimin can suck on my plastic dick but you’re my best friend too.” 
Your laughter becomes louder, but you tone it down just as instantly, slapping Sol lightly. 
“Anyway, speaking of the devil, he actually invited you to come along later. We’re going for drinks at the Octagon.”
“Ohh,” Sol says in intrigue. But then she pouts sadly. “I wanna go. But Junhwi and I have a thing later,” You’re quiet for a while. When Sol sees your expression– your very bad attempt at a neutral expression– she rolls her eyes, knowing what you’re probably thinking. “Don’t even start.”
“What! I didn’t even say anything.” 
“It’s a work thing.” 
“Sure.” 
“I don’t like the way you’re looking at me.” 
You laugh. “Whatever, Sol.” 
She rolls her eyes again. “Whatever, too. Drink your hearts out, by the way.” 
You shrug. “Nah, I’m probably not gonna drink that much.”
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“Jimin, I’m starting to feel dizzy”
Jimin laughs, stepping closer to you while still swaying his body to the music playing in the club. He looks at the tequila in your hand – your third one for the night in the span of an hour… and thirty minutes? He tried to stop you from getting it, but you swore you can handle it and you can, you know you can, but maybe you’re not too sure about that anymore as you’re beginning to feel a little light on your feet.
“What happened to you saying you weren’t in the mood for drinking tonight?” He arches a brow. 
You groan, sounding more like a whine. “What’s up with these tequilas! If I get alcohol poisoning, is the club going to pay for it?” 
“They won’t. I’ll have to haul your ass to the ER myself.” 
“You can’t even do that because I know you’re three drinks away from tripping on your face.” 
Jimin rolls his eyes playfully. “No, I’m not. Unlike you I don’t have the tolerance of a freshman college girl,” He gets a hold of you when he’s closer, linking your arms together to guide you to your table, where you left Namjoon as per his insistence for you to enjoy yourselves on the dancefloor and catch up. Jimin said his boyfriend is actually leaving soon the next two days, so they’re making it count every hour, you guess. “Come on, I need to introduce you to someone. I’m pretty sure he’s arrived now.” 
You halt on your steps and look at Jimin alarmingly. “Who is it? I told you I’m hitting it off with Taemu these days.” The lie sits heavy on your tongue but Jimin calls bullshit right away.
“Is the hitting it off in the room with us when you just told me you literally do not care like just awhile ago?” 
You let yourself follow Jimin’s steps as you mumble, “Fine.”
Maybe the tequila had let your tongue slip that information. Great. Now you can’t use Taemu as a shield when Jimin asks about your lovelife.
But anyway, it’d be good, right? Meeting other people tonight? It’s been long since you dated somebody. And it would definitely be good for you if you talk to them as soon as now to forget certain things. Certain things like a certain somebody with the long, fluffy, brunette hair whose eyes speak the language of the moon and whose smile gives you the feeling of seeing ten puppies and twenty kittens all at once but at the same time makes you want to whip all your hair out because he casually does things like make your heart hammer in your chest at an abnormal pace by one, brief touch and then try to kiss you and laughs it off when you dodge it and tell him you’re sleepy. Like he doesn’t mind that you may want things to go… slow.    
But fuck. You’re supposed to avoid thinking about him. Not tonight. Not when Jimin’s apparently introducing you to somebody.
You’re not into rebounds or shit like that, and you’re not cruel to use somebody to move on from someone else – but maybe it’s only a matter of time before you dig your own grave too deep by prisoning yourself in the specific thoughts of a certain someone and you’d find it too late to move on.
So, yeah, it’d definitely be a good thing to meet and talk to other people right now.
And you’re sure whoever Jimin is having you meet with tonight is nice, anyway. 
From afar, you can see your table and the familiar figure of Namjoon’s figure facing towards your direction. You’re about to wave so he can see you and Jimin approaching but you notice another frame across his seat. Namjoon and the unknown person (who is judging from the back is definitely a man) is presumably the one Jimin is meaning to introduce you to, and your best friend mentions it right away beside you. 
“Oh, that’s him!” Jimin yelps, excitement filling his words. You look at him and before you realize it, you’re already near the table. You’re just about to ask who it is, forgetting to do so during your walk, when Namjoon suddenly gestures to you both in recognition; dimples showing even in the dim lighting as he smiles at you two. He glances back at the guy in front of him, who as a result, turns his body to look in your direction.
And what. The. Actual. Fuck.
How many times – how many fucking times are you going to see Jeon Jungkook in the most inconvenient places? 
Can you somehow make yourself disappear at the speed of light? Did Einstein ever figure that out and the US government just fabricated a lie that he implied that very act was contrary to the law of Physics so people don’t attempt it? 
Because as of now, you could have used that trick. 
Jungkook looks stricken in his seat for a solid beat until Jimin comes crashing into him, greeting the man enthusiastically.
“Jeon Jungkook, the man himself!” Jimin says, spreading open his arms, grinning widely. You can see Namjoon smiling at both of them, and you watch as Jungkook stands up from the couch to meet Jimin’s half-hug. Jimin pulls back a little. “I thought you wouldn’t make it tonight.” 
Jungkook chuckles, giving Jimin a light pat on the back. “Nah,” he says with a grin. “I wanted to make time to see you.” You try not to linger on the way his biceps subtly flex under the slim long-sleeve tee he’s wearing, its sleeves pushed up to his elbows, revealing a hint of the veins tracing his forearms. It draws your attention to your ensemble – a sparkly cropped halter top that leaves much of your midriff exposed, paired with a mini skirt. You’ve seen each other in towels before, sure, but somehow, being around each other like this feels different… no?
“This is __,” Jimin says, gesturing to you and looping an arm through yours to pull you closer. “You know her.” 
Your eyebrow shoots up, and you instantly look at Jimin in quiet surprise. Before you can say anything, Jungkook lets out a deep chuckle. The sound drawls your gaze back to him, and for a second, your eyes meet. 
“I’m Jungkook, by the way,” he extends a hand towards you. His voice is… quite charming when he adds, “I heard a lot about you.”
You hesitate for a moment before taking his hand, unsure if it’s just the alcohol coursing through your system or something else entirely, but the second his sizable hand engulfs yours; a warmth shoots straight to your cheeks. His grip is firm yet gentle.
You swear the handshake lingers a beat too long. 
“Good things, I hope?” you quip, managing a small smile despite the odd flutter in your chest. 
“Lots of good things.” Jungkook replies with a nod, his gaze steady. 
“Yeah?”
His eyes don’t waver, and somehow, you find yourself holding his stare longer than you intended until he arches a brow slightly, the subtle expression earning a small, involuntary tug on your lips. Jungkook doesn’t miss that and mirrors the gesture just as indiscreetly, head dipping in a barely-there nod to respond to you. 
“Yeah.”
“I’m glad, then,” You turn to look at Jimin to avoid letting the moment stretch further, unintentionally picking your voice up an octave higher – a small nervous habit because there was something that flashed on Jimin’s face witnessing both your and Jungkook’s interaction. “Anyway, I’m so glad we finally met! Jimin’s always mentioned you to me and all that stuff. Hey, Jimin, this is great! Joon, you guys know each other?” You say, desperate to divert the attention and glancing at Namjoon. 
He nods with an easy-going smile. “Yeah, we went to the same post-grad uni together in Cali.” 
Jimin perks up and slides over beside Namjoon, who immediately drapes an arm around him in a half-hug, letting him lean against his shoulder. “Jungkook’s actually the one who introduced us.” Jimin says, glancing fondly at Namjoon.
You blink in surprise. “Really?” Awkward as you may feel about the whole thing, you’re also genuinely surprised about the new information. You think you remember Jimin saying somebody introduced someone to him when he and Namjoon started, but you didn’t think it was his cousin.
“Yep,” Jimin nods, and Namjoon chuckles softly beside him.
The two of them are now comfortably seated on the couch, leaving the only open spot directly across from them. Before you can decide whether to sit or keep standing, Jungkook gestures subtly toward the available seat, his expression unreadable. You step forward hesitantly, only to realize he’s following right behind you.
Suddenly, you’re hyper-aware of his proximity. Fuck. Even though he isn’t sitting that close, the scent of his cologne – clean, warm, and annoyingly alluring – wraps around you like a second presence. Why does he always have to smell good? You try not to fidget as you glance back at Jimin.
Your best friend grins as he leans on his elbows, looking between you and Jungkook. “I’ve always wanted you two to meet, you know? This is perfect! I was trying to keep it a surprise.” 
“Oh, it’s a surprise alright.” you mutter, forcing a laugh. 
“Pleasantly surprised.” Jungkook adds, his tone light, though the way his lips quirked upward makes your heart race.
Jimin laughs and there’s a tinge of evilness to it, and you know full well he did this intentionally.  Why, you don’t even know. He’s just like that for no reason. You’re gonna kill him. 
“You’re still staying at Hannam, right, Jungkook?” Jimin asks suddenly.
You freeze on the spot, and you hope no one notices.
Jungkook takes a moment before answering, his voice calm and casual. “Yes, still there. Why?” 
Wait… what?
Jimin nods. “Surprised you’re managing there. Thought you wouldn’t last a month.” 
Namjoon laughs. “Yeah, Yoongi hates that place.”
Beside you, Jungkook lets out a soft laugh. “Nah, it’s fine for now.”
You glance at him out of the corner of your eye, trying not to let your surprise show. He’s lying – and you know you told him straight up to not tell Jimin about you two knowing each other yet, but you didn’t know he’d make good on his promise. It’s a small thing, but it makes your chest tighten in ways you’re not ready to unpack.
Surprisingly, the conversation starts to flow easily among the four of you. Jungkook asks Namjoon about his work in Italy, and at first, you find it hard to engage in it casually because you can’t shrug off the fact that you’re in such a casual setting with your co-worker– and not just a regular co-worker at that, but an executive at your company; but the relaxed atmosphere starts to chip away at your tension. Jimin cracks a joke, breaking any unease, and soon you’re laughing along, listening as he shares his own experiences in Italy as well. Jungkook jumps in with his own joke you can’t even recall now, and the sound of his laugh is infectious enough to make you smile.
Switching between fruit punch and water helps ease the lingering buzz of tequila in your system, though it doesn’t fully clear your head.
“Fuck,” Jimin suddenly hisses, grabbing everyone’s reaction. “Need to go to the bathroom.”
The words feel like confetti in your ears; the sun is up again, and the gates of heaven open upon you.
“I’ll come with you!” You blurt out, sounding overly enthusiastic. You feel the stares of Jungkook and Namjoon but you choose to ignore them, focusing on Jimin instead. 
Your best friend sends you a suspicious look, but after a pointed stare and a forced smile on your end, he relents. “Alright.” 
When you stand up, you make a misstep and you stumble a little on your feet. 
Concerned sounds erupt from both Namjoon and Jimin, but before they can do anything, an arm shoots up around your waist, with another one wrapping around your wrist to steady you. 
It’s Jungkook. The warmth that suddenly surrounds your skin is Jungkook – seated by the edge of the same couch you’re on, he managed to quickly catch you mid-fall.
“Here.” He murmurs, almost a whisper, helping you stand up straight. 
You blink, stunned at the warmth that envelopes you at that moment.
“T-thanks.” you stammer when he lets go, the sudden absence of his touch leaving your skin colder than you expected. You shake off the feeling, glancing at Namjoon and Jimin to gauge their reactions, but they just look like usual when they see you’re okay. 
“It’s fine,” Jungkook smiles gently, sipping from his drink. A non-alcoholic beer, you suppose. He gestures to the cleared space in front of him, and you awkwardly stand up, taking a few steps while trying not to graze him. He’s polite enough to avert his gaze, sparing you further embarrassment when you quite literally have the front of your body going all up on his face while you maneuver past the table. 
“Careful next time!” Jimin teases lightheartedly, interlocking his arms around you when you get near him. “We’ll be right back.” he adds, glancing at the guys as you both walk away.
Once you’re out of earshot, you pull Jimin at a corner and grab his arm tightly.  “Oh my god, Jimin,” You start, looking around one more time. “That was my freaking boss!” 
As if not understanding the weight of the situation, Jimin rolls his eyes. “He’s not your boss, he’s just some guy.” 
“Some guy who happens to be an executive at the company I work in? This is the most awkward night of my life!” 
“Babe, I know that. But just try not to think so much about it. It’s just Jungkook – we’re all out here as friends. You and he didn’t meet here as coworkers or whatever. It’s not a big deal.”
“To you , but to me this is just… not…” you trail off, fishing for the right word. “.... appropriate.” 
A groan escapes Jimin’s mouth at that, and you know your wording was a bit exaggerated but you can’t help it. This whole thing is insane. You can’t believe you’re meeting and you’re hanging out with Jungkook in the presence of his cousin who also happens to be your best friend. 
“Okay, you know what? Try to think about it like this: that guy right there–” he points to the general direction of your table, then looks at you seriously in the eyes. “That’s not your interim CTO. That’s just a guy I grew up with very closely who I used to order around when he was a baby.” 
“Jimin.” you roll your eyes at him.
He insists. “No, really, that’s true! Just think of him as some sort of friend, please? I’ve been really wanting for you guys to meet and anyway, it seems like you like him and he likes you! Why worry about anything?” He takes your wrists and gives you the best puppy eyes ever he always sports when he wants something, and this time you let out a defeated sigh.
Thinking of Jungkook as Jimin’s younger cousin does help put things into perspective– it’s a bit of mental gymnastics, sure, but it works. Suddenly, the idea of meeting him in a nightclub doesn’t seem so strange. And you really do appreciate Jimin’s excitement about your meeting. After all, as he put it, having his Favorite Person On Earth (which, according to a very reliable source: you) and his Favorite Cousin meet is a big deal for him.  
“Okay, fine. But just know if this happens to you – like imagine meeting up with Ms. Lim at a nightclub – I’ll be laughing at your damn face.” 
Jimin snickers a laugh, and you both continue your way to the restroom. 
“But you know what I think?” he suddenly says, breaking the silence.
You raise a brow at him in curiosity. “What?”
He grins mischievously. “What you said earlier – it’s inappropriate but hear me out. Jungkook is exactly your type.”
“Excuse me, what? ”
“No, okay, listen!” He raises his palms as if to plead his case and begins listing every trait that apparently aligns Jungkook with your type. “He’s a tech guy. He would usually wear glasses – and don’t even try to deny again that you don’t have a thing for it, girl – and he’s objectively attractive, as far as straight men go.” 
With every word, your jaw drops a little more.
“What are you even talking about?” You ask, utterly dumbfounded.
Jimin squints at you, feigning suspicion. “He has my genes, __, you don’t think he’s attractive?” 
“First off,” you start, rolling your eyes, “that would mean I find you attractive, which is gross and absolutely not true. You’re like my brother,” Jimin only laughs, clearly entertained, so you double down. “Second I don’t exclusively date tech guys, okay? Jesus Christ. And I definitely don’t have a thing for men in eyeglasses. What is wrong with you.” 
Jimin just stands there, squinting his eyes more at you with that infuriatingly inquisitive expression. You do your best to hold a neutral face under his scrutiny.
“You got that pondering look,” Jimin concludes with a victorious smirk. “You’re totally thinking about it!”  
You gasp, scandalized. “You’re unbelievable, Jimin. That’s your cousin and my boss!–”
He bursts out into laughter. “I’d say something about how defensive you’re getting, but I’m too drunk and really need to pee.”
You swat at his arm, following his steps anyway. “You’re such a bitch sometimes, you know that?” 
Your best friend throws you a teasing glance. “For the record, Jungkook’s only thirty. Not that old, in case you were wondering.”
“Oh my god, for the last time, I am not thinking about your cousin!” You swear you’re gonna kill him, and then yourself. 
“Boohoo. What, you can’t date your friend’s relatives?” Jimin muses with a teasing tone.
“Yes, Jimin, it’s called boundaries,” you snap. Jimin still wouldn’t drop the malicious gaze, making you groan. Just how far is the restroom here? “Seriously, that’s completely unethical. I would never date any relative of yours, let alone if they’re my boss.”
Jimin starts cackling, clearly enjoying how worked up you are. “ Unethical ? Come on, you’re gonna get punished for premarital sex, anyway. Might as well date your boss while you’re at it.”
You hate that he’s so damn funny, even when he’s being a complete pain. Despite yourself, you can’t help but laugh at his ridiculous retort.
“Fuck off. I hope your bladder explodes.” you mutter.
Jimin’s laughter echoes around you, but finally, the restroom comes into view.
“Relax,” he says between chuckles. “I’m only joking. Jungkook h—”
Before he can finish, someone barrels into you – quite hard that you almost fall on your feet.
Instinctively, you let out a hurried, “Oh! I’m so sorry—” 
“Watch where you’re fucking going, bitch.”
The words take a second to register. Your shoulder throbs where they collided with you, but before you can react, Jimin steps forward.
“Excuse me?” your best friend snaps, his tone sharp.
The stranger doesn’t miss a beat, sneering as he looks you up and down. His gaze lingers far too long on your chest, making your stomach churn. 
“I said what I said.” he replies, completely unapologetic.
“Hey, that’s not cool, man. Just apologize to her, you hit her pretty hard.” Jimin says, positioning himself slightly in front of you as though to shield you from the man.
“What are you, her boyfriend?” The man scoffs. “The little princess slut needs her knight and shining armor—” 
Your patience snaps. “What the hell did you just call me?” You demand, stepping around Jimin.
The man smirks and takes a step closer. “What are you gonna do about it, slut?”
Jimin grabs your arm, trying to hold you back.
“Back off, man. I’m calling security.”
The tension in the air crackles, and you can feel the adrenaline surging in your veins. “Let go, Jimin,” you mutter, pulling free from his grip. You take a step forward, looking the man dead in the eye. “You think I’m scared? You get all up in our personal space calling me names and you think we’ll run for our lives after, huh?”
You watch as the smugness gets wiped out of his face instantly. He doesn’t form a response right away, just gawks at you as if he can’t believe you’re facing him off. Your brows shoots up at him.
This is the problem with assholes. They think they can intimidate you, especially men, but when confronted, they go back to their shells looking dumb as fuck. 
“You slut. Do you know who I am?” The man raises his hand, shoving your shoulder hard enough to make you stagger.
At this point, you’re fuming. What the fuck is this guy’s problem? 
Before you can retaliate, Jimin lunges forward, pushing the man back, just as he forceful as he did to you. “Don’t fucking touch her!” Jimin yells, his voice rising above the growing murmur of the crowd. “This is straight-up harassment and you can fuck off when the security kicks you out of here. Fuckin’ pussy.” With that, Jimin tugs your arm, already turning on his heel to go to the opposite reaction, ready to leave. But all of a sudden, the other guy goes for a punch, and it lands right on Jimin’s cheek. 
You gasp audibly.
Onlookers get more intrigued, and you don’t have it in you to think straight when your brain decides to go in between two men fighting. In the hopes of getting Jimin out of the way, you step in only to get elbowed on the jaw by the stranger when your best friend swings at the guy back; your reflexes not fast enough to avoid it
You can’t focus on the pain when panic arises upon the growing scene before you.  
“Jimin, stop!” You exclaim, trying to grab the back of his shirt. But the stranger only retaliates, and the whole thing is starting to blow out of proportion. 
“Hey! What is going on here?” 
You whip around to see Namjoon striding toward the commotion, his expression a mix of concern and frustration. Relief floods through you as he reaches you just in time to pull Jimin away. Two security guards arrive on the scene, stepping between Jimin and the man to break up the fight.
“What is your problem, man?” Namjoon scowls at the guy, wrapping his arm around Jimin. You hurry to them and help him assist your best friend, holding his shoulder.  
“Ask him and that fucking girlfriend of his. It’s that bitch’s fault! Do you even fucking know who I am?” 
Your eyes widen at the accusation. 
You gape at him, incredulous. “Are you kidding me? You ran into me, started cussing me out, shoved me two times and punched my frie—” 
“Enough!” one of the security guards cuts in, his tone firm. He turns to the man. “Mr. Yang, please step aside so we can sort this out.”
Jungkook appears just then, his gaze scanning the scene with confusion. “What the hell happened here?”
“Jungkook.” you sigh at the sight of him, getting a second rush of relief upon seeing both him and Namjoon here.
Jungkook steps closer to you, looks at your state, and instinctively hovers an arm around your waist, concern growing on his face. “Are you okay?” 
“I’m fine,” you say quickly, glancing at Jimin. “But he’s not.”
“Jimin got into a fight,” Namjoon explains, his voice tight. “I’m taking him to the hospital. Can you handle this?”
Jimin groans in Namjoon’s arms. “Oh my god, Joon, I’m literally fine—” Jimin rolls his eyes when his boyfriend only looks at him with a deepened frown. 
Namjoon looks at Jungkook again. “Can you take care of this for me, Kook? I’ll drive both of us to a hospital nearby. __, I’ll take Jimin there first before driving you home. Is that okay?” 
Although not unusual, your eyes widen at the offer. You quickly shake your head to decline. 
“Oh, no. It’s fine. I’ll grab a taxi or something… just please take Jimin to the hospital first.” 
“Don’t be silly, it’s dangerous–” Before Jimin could say the words, Jungkook speaks.
“I’ll take her,” All three of you look at him and he doesn’t even faze. “I took my car and I didn’t drink tonight so I’m okay to drive. __, just tell me your address.” 
Your head shakes vehemently. You’ve already been a big nuisance thanks to that asshole back there who’s talking with security.
“It’s okay, Jungkook. I really don’t want to bother–” 
“It’s not safe for you to be alone right now, __,” he says with a frown, and he sounds so sincere that it makes you bite your lip to prevent saying any protest again. He does have a point. “Joon, you can go. We’ll talk it out with security in the meantime.” 
“Alright, thanks, man.” Namjoon pats his shoulder. “Take care of her, okay? She drank a lot.” He informs Jungkook who just nods. And then off they go after Namjoon talked for a while with the other security.
You want to face-palm yourself. 
Soon, a man in uniform approaches you and Jungkook. As if in reflex, Jungkook steps closer to you. 
“Mr. Yang said you said some – what he called, “abusive language” – to him, Miss. Is that true?” 
Your eyebrows crease in confusion as you look at “Mr. Yang” in disbelief. 
“No, I didn’t. He was the one who started calling me names and swung at my friend first.” You defend, upset.
The security just looks over at you impassively with an almost monotonous voice, as if talking to you is a nuisance and taking too much of his time. “He said your friend threw the first punch. Mr. Yang is a valued customer—” 
“I’m sorry, but aren’t I and my friend customers too? We–”
“There’s no going around it, miss. Your friend started a fight and you initiated a commotion which is prohibited in this place, especially in the VIP area. Mr. Yang is currently talking to his lawyers to press charges against you and your friend.” 
Press what now?
“Press charges?” Jungkook can’t help but butt in. He changes his stance beside you and you see exactly how the security backs off a little, the boredom on his face while talking to you seconds ago slipping when Jungkook continues to say, “Did you hear what she said? Mr. Yang started the fight with verbal intimidation and made it physical. The other guy, her friend, just retaliated. How are you purposefully glossing over that detail?”
“Sir, Mr. Yang just told the story–” 
“You mean his side of the story. Aren’t you supposed to ensure everyone’s safety here? Or does being a valued customer excuse harassment and violence?”
The security completely falters under Jungkook’s stare and words.
And you grow livid. 
“Excuse me, sir,” You start, stepping out to get closer to him. You keep your voice leveled when you speak further, “I’m gonna tell you this more time. He, Mr. Yan or whatever his name is, started the whole thing. He bumped into me hard and I have the shoulder pain to prove you that. I said sorry, even though he should’ve said it too, but then he didn’t and started to cuss me out instead and called me names . My friend stepped in because he was trying to intimidate me physically and verbally. He threw the first punch, and my friend just retaliated,” you said with conviction, not shaking even once. When the security opens his mouth to say something, you beat him to it. “And tell your valued customer that if he wants to press charges, I’ll be speaking to my lawyer, too. And I’ll be filing a complaint against this establishment for failing to handle the situation appropriately.”
You don’t look back as you turn on your heel and head straight to your table. Jungkook’s footsteps follow closely behind, and you hear him call your name, but you don’t acknowledge it. Instead, you grab your purse and head toward the stairs leading to the ground floor, your mind set on leaving.
It’s been a long time since you felt so blatantly underestimated by a man. It happens at work occasionally, but having a woman supervisor helps that situation a bit. Still, though, you can’t help but be bitter whenever it happens. No matter how vocal you are, no matter how often you advocate for yourself, there’s a grim inevitability to it. They’ll still see you as less, as though your words carry less weight, your stance holds less power.
The thought burns at you, frustration rising like a heat wave under your skin, and there’s a dull sense of helplessness that settles heavily in your chest.
“__, hey. Stop walking so fast.” You hear Jungkook say behind you but despite his words, he still manages to catch up. 
“You can go, Jungkook. I’m calling a taxi.” You say, voice leveled. You know it’s irrational but you can’t get out of your head the image of the security backing off when Jungkook began speaking to him. As if his opinion matters more than yours. The anger is misplaced, you know, but you just need a little bit of space. 
“I told Jimin I’ll take you home, so I’ll take you home.” Jungkook insists and his voice is firm as well, but there’s softness around the edges. You feel it in the way he gently takes ahold of your wrist to halt you from walking. At this point, you’re already outside the establishment. 
“I don’t want your help.” 
He physically recoils, and you feel instantly bad just right after you say it.
Okay, maybe that was too much of an overreaction. 
Still, though, while Jungkook lets go of your hand, he doesn’t relent. 
“I’m not trying to be insistent for no reason, __. I want to take you home because you’re drunk and I don’t know if you’re safe especially when a guy just harassed you back there.” 
Pressing your lips into a thin line, you turn your gaze away, feeling the telltale tremble in your body that comes right before tears. Your eyes sting faintly at the corners, but you force a sharp, steady breath into your lungs. As much as it stings to admit it, Jungkook has a point.
You’re surprised you’ve managed this far with your mind clouded by too much tequila. And while you keep telling yourself you’re not afraid of that jerk back there, the thought of walking out alone at this hour leaves a knot of unease in your chest.
Turning on your heel, you avoid Jungkook’s eyes when you look at his general direction and say, “Okay.” 
“Okay,” he repeats, gauging your face. “My car is right there.” He says, pointing toward the opposite direction. 
The walk to the parking lot is quiet and tense, so to speak. You avoid walking beside Jungkook and he may have understood that you want space in the meantime, as he lets himself walk ahead of you, only looking back occasionally to check if you’re still following. 
When you get inside the car, Jungkook begins the engine as soon as you both settle yourselves in your seats.
“I’m sorry.” He suddenly says in the middle of the road. 
You look at him, eyebrows furrowed. “For what?” 
“I’m just sorry.” 
You let out a sigh.
He’s just trying to be there for you, for some reason. He doesn’t need to, but somehow he does.
You look away, fixing your gaze at the scene on the window pane. “I’m just… I just feel angry. That asshole was calling me all sorts of uninspired, misogynistic names and even pushed me twice. And then the security came to me with that bored expression and impassive tone telling me all about that guy pressing charges, not even bothering to hear me out, completely negating me, then you stepped in and suddenly he’s scared? Apparently, your words matter more than mine, and all because I don’t have a fucking penis. How fucking stupid,” You say in one breathing frustration reeking. You take a sharp breath again and massage your temple. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean– it’s not your fault, Jungkook. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. I’m… being mean and taking everything out on you. I just… the whole thing was just really fucked up and men irritate me.” 
Jungkook glances at you and back at the road again. “I… understand. I’m still sorry for stepping in. I didn’t mean for it to look like I was… doing things for you. I was just really surprised when he said the guy is pressing charges.” 
You throw your head back on the seat. “I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t… think you were trying to be a hero or anything. It’s just really annoying when men only listen to men. It’s fucked up.” 
He hums. “Do you wanna press charges? You can also file a lawsuit. You could.”
“A lawsuit? We’re gonna end up in civil court and I’m most probably going to lose. When I said earlier I’m talking to my lawyers, that means all the law students I barely know of in my department,” you think that was funny, but Jungkook just looks at you for awhile with furrowed brows.
Okay, well, no that was not really funny. It was quite depressing.
“If you want, and I don’t want you to take this the wrong way– I can help you with it. Get you a lawyer or something. He also assaulted Jimin, so you definitely have a case.” Jungkook says as if he’s offering you some street food along a store you passed by randomly. You notice the caution in his voice though, the way he worded his suggestion, completely putting it out as if it’s up to your choice. 
You appreciate that. You don’t like it when people step in for you, fight your battles for you . You have a backbone of your own and you can defend yourself in most circumstances – and you believe Jungkook’s pure intentions of just… offering some kind of… genuine help. Because he’s your friend and you would do this to a friend as well.
It’s not charity, you tell yourself.   
“Thanks… I’ll tell you when… I want it.” You offer him a small smile. 
“You sure?” You nod your head. Jungkook doesn’t look like he’s entirely convinced, but he drops the subject anyway. “Alright.” 
The car ride was as quiet as it could be, and the stillness of dawn makes you think about the turn of events earlier. It wasn’t ideal, the way everything turned out. You don’t feel any ounce of remorse about what you said to that asshole because he deserved it for being a dick unprovoked, but too much alcohol clouded your judgment and you and Jimin could’ve acted… entirely differently in the situation.
As you rest your head on the window again, you feel a pang of regret. 
It’s always so… hard to deal with the consequences of your actions. There’s a part of you who wishes you didn’t throw more wood into the flame leading to the fight. Some part is guilty of bringing Jimin into a physical fight. Then, there’s embarrassment. 
You’re not a violent person and you try to stray away from violence overall if you can help it. While Jimin has always been protective over you especially when you go out at night for obvious reasons, you rarely get into physical fights. It didn’t help that Namjoon was there, too. As well as Jungkook. The two knew you both drank a lot, especially you. Jungkook was there beside you when you were flatly getting negated by the security, getting threatened by pressed charges for being unruly. 
It was embarrassing. And even more so when you snapped at him moments ago, despite him doing nothing wrong.
You feel like absolute shit. 
“Sorry you had to deal with… all of that.” You murmur, swallowing the lump in your throat.
Jungkook’s voice, laced with genuine confusion, cuts through your thoughts. “What?”
“For everything, I guess,” you continue, forcing a smile that feels off. “Bet you didn’t expect to drive a drunk woman home after she and her best friend got into a fight.” It sounds like a joke, but it’s a hollow one. Every moment with him tonight feels like you’ve just embarrassed yourself over and over.
You hadn’t realized how close you were to your complex until Jungkook suddenly stopped in the familiar parking lot. You’re about to unbuckle your seatbelt, but your head’s a little dizzy, and you fumble with it a little. Just as you start to move again, Jungkook speaks.
“I don’t mind doing anything for you, __. I hope you know that by now.”
The words stop you mid-motion, and you glance up at him, regretting it immediately. His gaze is intense, and no matter how much you will yourself to look away, you can’t. He lowers his eyes to your hands before leaning in slightly, unbuckling your seatbelt from your waist down with ease. His scent fills the air, making your breath catch in the briefest of moments. “Wait for me.”
You’re a little confused but stay still as Jungkook gets out of the car and walks around. When he opens the passenger door, he offers you his hand. “Can you walk just fine?
You don’t know how you manage to form an answer somehow. “I– yeah. Sure,” you stand up from your seat and get out of his car, but despite your words, you feel the gentle pressure of Jungkook’s hand on your lower back, guiding you. Nibbling on your bottom lip, you mumble a soft, “Thanks.” 
He hums in response. 
The walk to your apartment isn’t long, but it felt like it dragged on forever with Jungkook so close by your side. The chilly air didn’t help either when you’re not exactly dressed for it. When a gust of strong wind blew, you felt yourself shiver, and Jungkook must have noticed because, without a second thought, his arm moved closer, closing the hairsbreadth gap of his skin and yours, now wrapping around your waist to shield you from the cold. 
You didn’t expect it, and neither did he. 
He makes a move to pull away, about to put distance between you, but when you glance at him, maybe with a hint of alarm or desperation, he seems to understand. Jungkook keeps his arm around you as you both continue walking.
Did your face scream “Please don’t take your hands off me” ? Because even now, as you’ve arrived at your apartment, taking the steps towards your apartment units, he still doesn’t let go.
Even when you reach your porch, his arm is still there, holding you close.
“We’re here,” you say to break the silence. You look up at him, and you spent the entirety of the last five minutes or so trying to avoid looking in his direction that you just now discovered he’s been sporting an easy-going look on his face, as if the whole thing is as… natural as it gets. “T-thanks for driving me home, Jungkook.”
He nods, “You’re welcome.” 
You take a step back, and just as the distance grows between you, you feel a strange hesitation, as though part of you doesn’t want the moment to end. Jungkook’s hand lingers for a second longer on your back, like he doesn’t want to let go either.
You give him a small, reluctant smile, and he returns it just as gently, looking so serene with his casual fit and his soft hair, hands now buried in the pockets of his jeans. His presence feels magnetic like neither of you is ready to say goodbye yet.
“Good night,” you say, giving a timid wave.
“Sweet dreams, __.” He smiles, and the sound of his chuckle makes your heart flutter. It’s so light, so easy – like everything feels right in this moment. Like everything that happened earlier was merely not part of reality. He makes you feel so… safe and warm. 
God, have you seriously deluded yourself into thinking you didn’t like this man in a very non-platonic way? 
You turn, about to reach for your keys, but then you hear his voice again, calling your name. You almost spin around too quickly, feeling a bit embarrassed by the sudden motion.
It’s like you were completely expecting him to just call you.
Your eyes meet his in a gentle stare, his voice soft and warm like honey when he asks, “Can I come inside?”
Jungkook asks, letting the words slip out before he can second-guess them. He’s been bothered since the car ride – by the way your jaw flexed, the way your fingers kept pressing into your shoulder like it ached. You never said anything, of course. You wouldn’t. 
Of course you wouldn’t. Jungkook knows by now that you don’t particularly like it when you’re being… doted on.
But still. It’s late – around 3 a.m. and creeping into morning – and he doesn’t think he’ll be able to sleep knowing you’re the least bit comfortable.
He just wants to know if you’re okay.
You open your mouth to speak, but then suddenly, a clink echoes in the quiet of the dawn over the complex.
“Wha– aw!” You wince as your keys slip through your fingers, landing directly on your foot with a dull thud.
“Hey,” Jungkook automatically sinks down on one knee to pick up the keys, arm shooting right up around your waist to keep you grounded when he saw you were about to trip. His brows knit together as he looks up at you, wincing in discomfort. “You okay?” 
You lift your foot slightly, balancing yourself against his shoulder. “Yeah, I’m fine— just buzzed. Sorry,” you mumble, but the words slur together. Jungkook had noticed you’d been drinking way before he arrived at the club, but now he realizes just how hard you’d been fighting off the dizziness. “I need to get out of these shoes.”
Jungkook stands back up on his feet, handing you the keys. He stays close, keeping his arm around you, hovering just enough to catch you if you fall out of balance again. 
He watches as you try to unlock the door, but your fingers fumble over the keys, switching between them absentmindedly. With each failed attempt, your frustration grows, your huffs becoming more pronounced. Jungkook waits patiently, standing beside you, until he hears it—
A sob. 
“I’m sorry,” your voice trembles. “I–I can’t find my keys,” you try to get the words out in between your silent cry, and Jungkook is so surprised to see the tears dropping down your cheeks that he doesn’t fully process the whole thing together. “And— and my jaw and my shoulder and my toes hurt. And I’m drunk. I don’t know. I’m really—” you’re interrupted by another snob, so you quickly wipe away at your eyes, turning away from Jungkook. “I’m really drunk.” 
Jungkook gently calls your name, and he doesn’t know what comes over him. It almost felt like reflex when he reached for your face, cupping your cheeks; your tears wetting the palm of his hands. Jungkook catches them with his thumbs before more of them even fall, your skin warm beneath his touch. When you look up at him, your glassy eyes reflect the soft glow of the streetlights, and you look so heartbreakingly sad that Jungkook feels an almost physical pain to his gut. 
“It’s okay,” he murmurs. “Let’s get you inside, yeah? I’ll take care of the rest. Do you want me to do it for you?” He doesn’t expect it, but you nod your head, quietly sniffing when Jungkook continues to wipe your tears with his thumbs, soothing you in the best possible way he knows he can. 
You hand him the keys, and his fingers linger against your cheek just a second longer before he turns to the door, finding the right key with ease. He doesn’t say anything about your tears, doesn’t press you to explain. You wouldn’t want to tell him things right now, not when you’re obviously feeling quite… vulnerable. He doesn’t know if it’s just all your mixed up feelings dwindling down into sadness – because you did go through a lot tonight. 
Jungkook has never seen you cry before, but when he saw the tears falling from your eyes, it left a dull ache that settled deep within his chest. You’re always so full of life, so quick to smile, to joke, to fill the space around you with something bright and wonderful. Seeing you like this, shaken and unguarded, stirs something deep in him. Something instinctive.
So he knows by now you don’t like getting taken care of, in a way, but Jungkook lets himself act on the want  and need to do it, anyway. Even if you pull back away from him again the next day. At least he gets to be sure you’re okay. 
He unlocks the door and looks back at you.
“Thank you, Jungkook.” Your voice is steadier now, in Jungkook’s relief, but your tear-streaked cheeks still twist something inside him.
“It’s fine,” Jungkook says softly and keeps a careful arm around your waist when you push open the door, seeing that you’re still walking a little wobbly. He watches you closely, especially your shoulders and face. “Your body still hurts?”
You give him a small, tired smile. “Uhm, I think it’ll go away soon. But I need to ice my jaw.”
When you cross over the threshold, you pause, hesitating.
Jungkook was just about to ask you if you really want to let him in because you didn’t explicitly say he could – but when you turn back to look at him, your eyes are clouded with worry. “Please don’t judge me if my place is messy and if I pass out because again, I’m really drunk. It’s not super obvious right now but I already cried in front of you for no particular reason and I’m embarrassed about that so if you want to, you can totally just leave and I won’t bother you ever again. I’m sorry that you had to do all this. This all seems like a huge bother and I’m taking so much of your time—”
Jungkook blinks.
“__.” 
The way you jumped from one thing to another, the way your eyes darted everywhere but his – it’s a dead giveaway. Drunk you is a whole rollercoaster, and Jungkook doesn’t even try to fight the small, exasperated smile tugging at his lips.
God, he just… he just wants to hold you through it all.
“It’s okay,” his voice is warm. “Don’t be sorry, hm?” 
You bite your lip and it takes you a while to respond before you say, “... Okay.” 
The living room welcomes you both and Jungkook takes a quick look, smiling at the sight.
“You have a nice place.” 
“I know,” your voice is thick with the remnants of the night, your steps slightly uneven as you move towards the couch. “It was even nicer before, but they had to repair it a week ago because of the…” you trail off, distracted, your fingers fumbling with the strap of your heel as you settle down.  
Jungkook nods understandingly, quietly watching. He sees you maneuvering your legs to better see your shoes, and the action makes your skirt ride up, catching his attention for a split second. He decides to redirect his focus. 
“You have ice?”
“Freezer,” You murmur, lips pressed into a thin line and brows furrowed in frustration. You let out a small hiss when the strap doesn’t successfully come off your ankle. Jungkook can tell you’re distracted, even when you add, “Oh, you don’t have to ice me, by the way, I can just—” 
Before you can finish, Jungkook walks over to your direction. In one swift motion, he kneels before you, his hands effortlessly replacing yours. His fingers are warm as they brush against your ankle, and he feels your breath hitching when he unfastens the strap and slides your heels off.
“What did I say, __?” He keeps his voice quiet and firm, “I don’t mind doing things for you.” He gently sets both your feet down then places your shoes next to it neatly. “I know you don’t need my help. But just this one night, okay? Can you let me do that for you?”
The weight of his sincerity presses against your chest, rendering you momentarily speechless. His eyes hold something deep, something unspoken, something that makes warmth bloom low in your stomach.
You blink at him. 
“Oh. Uh… okay.” you breathe, looking up at him slowly as he rises to his feet. “Sorry.”
It sounds sheepish and Jungkook feels the sudden urge to… he doesn’t even know now. He’s never been in the position of feeling so many different things all at once. He felt a little piece of his heart get shattered when he saw you cry earlier but now it’s warm again at the sight of you so… soft. And kind of small. 
Jungkook exhales softly, the corner of his lips quirking as his palm finds your cheek. It was maybe some sort of self-indulgence when he leans down and strokes your skin, thumb tracing delicate circles. He watches as your lashes flutter under his touch. “No saying sorry. Let me take care of you.”
He lets go of you, a slight feeling of disappointment washing through him when he had to break away from the physical contact, but your body hurts and he wants to help soothe it a little bit. 
Moving toward the kitchen, he doesn’t take too long going through your freezer and returns back shortly with an ice bag and a glass of water in hand. He offers the latter first, waiting patiently as you drink before settling beside you on the couch.
“Where does it hurt?” Jungkook asks. You move a little to the side to give him room, and he doesn’t really think too much about it when he drapes his free arm around the backrest of the couch, unconsciously crowding you in.
“H-here.” You tilt your face slightly, pointing to the right side of your jaw. Jungkook hums in acknowledgment before pressing the ice against your skin with meticulous care. You flinch at the initial cold, and he murmurs a soft apology, adjusting his touch until the chill soothes rather than shocks.
“Thank you,” you whisper.
The silence between you lingers, but it isn’t awkward – it’s something softer, something unspoken that settles comfortably between you both. And it gives Jungkook the perfect excuse to take you in wholly.
From this proximity, every delicate feature of yours demands his attention. The way your long lashes flutter under the glow of the fluorescent light, casting faint shadows against your flushed cheeks. He notices the subtle scatter of glitter on your skin, remnants of your makeup catching the light just right, making you look like you’re glowing – no, like you’re shining. Ethereal.
Then, his gaze traces the gentle slope of your nose, following its path down to the perfect dip of your cupid’s bow – sharp, delicate, almost frustratingly beautiful. And then, of course, there’s your mouth. Jungkook has always been drawn to it. The soft, glossy curve of your lips, the way they pout ever so slightly even when you aren’t speaking. They look inviting, almost begging to be kissed, and for a brief, reckless second, he wonders what it would be like to be the one to answer that silent call.
God, you’re so pretty. It almost hurts.
Jungkook swallows hard. He shouldn’t be thinking about that. Not now.
“Jimin tells me I’m either an annoying or quiet drunk,” you suddenly say, snapping Jungkook out of his trance. “I think I’m being a little bit of both tonight.” 
He finds himself chuckling at your words. “I’m alright with both.” 
You let out a quiet huff, and he readjusts the ice, noticing the slight tension in your shoulders.
“Your shoulder still hurts?” Jungkook asks, his fingers hovering just above your bare skin.
You nod, and when he gestures to the ice bag, you take it without hesitation, pressing it back to your jaw. There's a quiet curiosity in your eyes as you glance at him, but you don’t say anything. Jungkook shifts beside you, sitting more upright.
“Lean in for me,” you scoot closer. Jungkook guides you against him, settling you between his arms. You’re unusually quiet, pliant in a way that makes something stir in his chest. “This okay?” he murmurs into your hair, trying – failing – not to focus on the warmth of you against him, or the way your scent lingers in the air between you.
You hum in response, a soft, content sound.
Jungkook smiles against your head.
”Let me know if this hurts or not, alright?” You nod against him, and Jungkook lets his fingers trace over the curve of your shoulder, searching for the tension. The neckline of your top makes it easy for his hand to settle against your skin. “Here?” he murmurs, pressing gently.
The soft gasp you let out catches him off guard. It’s barely a sound, but he feels it – feels the way your body reacts beneath his touch. His breath hitches for just a second before he swallows, grounding himself.
“There,” You sigh softly. Jungkook watches as you close your eyes, indulging in the feeling of him hitting the right spot. 
He watches, almost entranced, as your face softens with relief.
Massaging sore muscles is nothing new to him – he’s done it for himself countless times after boxing, approaching it with the same methodical precision every time. But this? This feels different. The quiet sounds you make, the way you lean into his touch, like it’s the most natural thing in the world – he has a feeling they’ll linger in his mind far longer than they should.
He steadies his voice. “No swelling or bruising, so that’s good,” he murmurs, fingers working over your shoulder, relieved to find that himself.
You may not have wanted his help tonight, but Jungkook can’t shake the thought that the stranger at the bar deserves consequences. Maybe he should talk to Jimin about it.
He files the thought away – until your voice pulls him back.
“Where’d you learn this?” you ask, your tone lighter now. “It feels good. And I think you’re actually making me feel better.”
Then you grin at him – soft, a little dazed – and Jungkook just melts.
How you always get him to feel twenty emotions at once. 
“I box sometimes. My trainer taught me this.” Jungkook tells you, something he realized he hasn’t shared with you yet. Which he loves doing. 
“Oh. You box?” You inquire, craning your neck to look at him with curious eyes. 
Jungkook smiles down at you and nods. “Sometimes. It’s just a little hobby I picked up a while ago.” 
“Ohhh. That’s really cool.” Then you yawn, shifting even closer. “I envy people like you. I ran a 5k once and couldn’t move for two days.”
“I like moving,” Jungkook responds truthfully. Absent-mindedly, he also lets himself fall back on the couch until you’re both very lax against the sofa. “I sit a lot with my job. So I feel the need to balance it out.”
“I guess that makes—” It’s drowned with another yawn. Jungkook looks down at you as you curl up against him. “Sorry.” You smile at him, prompting Jungkook to chuckle before taking the ice bag from your hand. His hand travels from your shoulder to your waist as he stretches his other hand out to place the bag on the coffee table across from you.
“You’re sleepy.” 
“I’m so drunk.” 
“You’re a sleepy drunk,” Jungkook grins when you don’t argue. “Your shoulder okay now?” 
You jut your bottom lip out. “I think you need to massage it a little bit more…” 
Jungkook takes note of the playful tone lacing your words, finding himself chuckling at the thought of you just liking the massage. He doesn’t really mind.
“Alright. But don’t sleep on me just yet.” Jungkook says, resuming his rubbing on your shoulder joint. He knows that soon, you have to change out of your clothes, remove your make-up, whatever women do before going to bed. 
“I know…” you trail off.
As minutes pass, Jungkook forgets all about the massage, his hands alternating between gentle caresses and light squeezes over your shoulder. His touch grows slower, more absentminded, and at some point, he realizes the weight against his chest has shifted— you’ve fallen asleep on him.
He stills for a moment, absorbing the warmth of you pressed against him. It’s… nice. More than nice. A quiet contentment settles over him as he carefully brushes his fingers through your hair. When a few strands fall across your face, he instinctively tucks them away, only for you to stir slightly at the movement. Jungkook freezes, but instead of waking, you burrow deeper into him, your face pressing against his chest, your breath warm through the fabric of his shirt.
A small smile tugs at his lips. He takes a moment just to look at you – your peaceful expression, the way your lips part slightly in sleep, the soft rise and fall of your breathing. You’re not new to falling asleep on him; it happened just last week at his place. And just like then, he thinks you look impossibly adorable. Mostly pretty. Even prettier now. He isn’t sure how that’s possible, but somehow, you make it look effortless.
Jungkook exhales, shaking his head lightly. You have no idea, do you?
He lingers a second longer before deciding he should move you somewhere more comfortable. He doubts you’d want to wake up on the couch, still in your clothes from the club, make-up untouched. You didn’t exactly give him permission to enter your bedroom, but he figures you’d prefer that over being left out here without a blanket.
Carefully, he lifts you into his arms, cradling you effortlessly as he navigates your apartment. The layout is similar to his, but everything feels distinctly you – cozy, warm, lived-in. He nudges your bedroom door open with his foot, relieved to find it unlocked, and gently lays you down on the soft mattress. He debates for a second whether he should help you change into something more comfortable but quickly dismisses the thought. Boundaries.
Instead, he simply pulls the green comforter over you, tucking you in with quiet care. He’s just about to step back when you shift slightly, a small murmur escaping your lips.
“Kook?”
Your voice is faint, laced with sleep, and Jungkook immediately moves closer, sitting at the edge of your bed. He doesn’t expect it when your hand reaches out, fingers grazing his cheek before resting there, your touch warm and featherlight.
“Are you real?” you ask, voice barely above a whisper, dazed and dreamy.
Jungkook’s heart stumbles. He swallows, then gently takes your hand in his, pressing it against his skin. “I am.”
You hum in satisfaction. “Good.” Then, in a move that completely disarms him, you squeeze his jaw slightly, fingertips lingering in something almost like admiration. Your gaze, still hazy with sleep, flickers over his features before you breathe, awed, “You’re so pretty… how?”
Jungkook exhales a quiet laugh, shaking his head at your sleepy honesty. Because this isn’t the first time. You’d said the same thing that night at his place, too.
Does that mean you really think so? Or is it just a drunken habit of yours?
But none of that really matters when he finds himself murmuring, with quiet certainty, “You don’t know how it feels looking at you, __.”
There’s no response, and when Jungkook glances down, he realizes you’ve already drifted back into sleep. He stays there just a moment longer, taking in the peaceful sight of you, the way the dim light makes your features look even softer.
You look like a dream. And Jungkook isn’t sure if he ever wants to wake up from this.
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There’s a thundering ache in your head when you start gaining consciousness after you wake up, eyes squinting at the light coming through the windows. 
You pat around for your phone and turn it on when you find it somewhere nestled between the tangled sheets, seeing Jimin’s texts on the lockscreen. 
cuntress #1 [8:00am]: did u get home safe cuntress #1 [8:05am]: i got discharged from the hospital btw joon was just being dramatic i only got cuts  cuntress #1 [3:10pm]: i trust that jungkook drove u home well and alive but if u dont respond in the next 30mins i’ll send a raid team
“Jesus,” you said after reading Jimin’s last text. You glance at the time and see it’s 3:20pm. “Fuck.” Slapping a hand on your forehead, you realize just how much you slept. 
Before agonizing over that, you reply to Jimin first before he actually sends a raid team. You don’t ever know when he’s serious.
You [3:21pm]: dont send a raid team what the fuck
You open the camera app to snap a picture of yourself, but you nearly doubled over when you saw your reflection. That’s why your face felt so sticky, because you still have your make-up and clothes on from last night. 
You groan but take a quick picture to send Jimin anyway. 
Throwing away your phone on the mattress, you throw your feet over the floor to initially go straight to the bathroom, but then your eyes catch sight of the glass of water with a pill of Advil beside it. 
Oh. 
Ohhh. Right. Jungkook was here last night… he asked if he could come inside your apartment and you must’ve said yes because you can remember him sitting on your couch, icing your jaw, then massaging your pained shoulder for a little while before… 
That’s when your memory doesn’t serve you well. 
You don’t know how you got into this bed at all. 
You take the glass of water and Advil, anyway, popping the pill into your mouth and drinking. You were just standing up when your doorbell rings. 
Confused, you wonder who it might be. You aren’t expecting any visitors, that’s for sure. But then you remember Jimin’s words and suddenly grow nervous that he might have actually had a raid team come your way. Whatever the hell that meant.
As you step in front of your door, you hesitantly twist it open, only to be met with none other than… Jungkook. 
“Thank god,” you let out a sigh of relief. Jungkook raises a brow, rightfully confused. You give him a dismissive wave. “I thought you were Jimin’s raid team.” 
“A what?” Jungkook asks, obviously baffled. 
“Don’t worry about it,” you say as you take a look at him. He’s in his white button down minus the tie and trousers. It’s funny though because he’s wearing his sliders… so you assume he probably just got back home from the office. It’s only then that you notice the pot in between his hands. “What’s that?” 
Jungkook glances down. “Porridge. Thought it’d help with the hangover.” 
Your eyes widen at the mention.
“Oh, that’s really thoughtful. You didn’t have to…” you trail off but Jungkook only smiles and extends it to you.
When you take it in your hands, Jungkook says, “It’s still hot, so be careful.” 
What you wanted to ask was if he cooked it himself – which looked like he did, but what came out was: “You just, uh, got back from the office?”
He nods.
Then, you stand there for awhile, finding yourself a little awkward just waiting for the other to say something until you both speak at the same time. 
“I’ll get going, then—”
“Do you want to come in—”
You both stop speaking, looking at each other in surprise until Jungkook chuckles. 
“You were saying?” He asks.
You shake your head. “I asked if you wanted to come inside but you must be busy. Thank you for the porridge, though. I really appreciate it.” 
“I’m not doing a lot today,” Jungkook says with a dashing smile, inserting his hands in his pockets. “Are you inviting me over?” He adds with a teasing lilt to his voice.
You shy from his gaze. “If you want to… we can share?” You raise the pot in your hands, giving him a timid smile. 
“I’d love to.” 
Basically, it’s the second time Jungkook will be inside your home. But you weren’t completely sober a few hours ago when he did it for the first time, so technically, it did not count. Now that you’re free from the daze of alcohol, though, with a raging hangover as a testament to that, you’re nervous as you lead Jungkook along the way.
“You woke up just now?” Jungkook asks.
“Yeah…” You place the pot on the dining table and realize for the second time you’re still wearing the clothes from last night, probably looking like a mess right now. You’re thankful Jungkook doesn't mention it. You saw your smudged makeup earlier while taking a picture for Jimin, and you definitely don’t look your best. “Sorry, I just need to change out of these clothes first. Please sit here.” You gesture toward the chair you pulled out, which Jungkook gladly came towards. When he sits, you offer him a small smile before heading to your bedroom.
In swift motion, you strip yourself off the skimpy outfit you’ve been in since the last twelve hours or so, hastily removing your make-up with a quick wipe and rinse, pulling your hair in the neatest ponytail you can manage and finally change into the first decent shirt you find in your closet and paired it with some denim shorts.
When you return to the dining area, you see Jungkook setting down some bowls on the table. You head toward him, about to express your thanks, but he turns around and, with a slightly surprised tone, says, “You’re wearing my shirt.”
It doesn’t sound accusatory, in fact, Jungkook is smiling at you, eliciting a warm feeling within your chest. 
His words don’t register as quickly as they should have, but when you glance over at the shirt you’re wearing, it’s indeed his. It occurs to you it was the shirt he lent you awhile ago when you stayed over at his place. It must’ve ended in your bag when you were packing up for your return to your own place.
Heat rises to your cheeks as embarrassment sets in. You remember saying you’d return it ASAP, but here you are, casually wearing it at home. “Oh, I'm sorry. I didn’t even notice— I'll go change—”
“It’s fine, __. You can keep it, or not, if you don’t want to,” Jungkook muses. “You don’t have to change out of it.” 
His casual response only makes you feel more flustered under his gaze.
“... Thanks,” you manage to say. After a pregnant pause, you clear your throat and gesture at the food on the table. “Should we eat? Or… I mean, do you even want to eat right now? I know it’s only, like, three pm…”
“I didn’t eat for lunch, so this will do. I make a really good hangover porridge.” Jungkook says with a chuckle. 
“I can’t thank you enough.” 
Jungkook hums softly, and a comfortable silence settles between you as the sound of your spoons clinking against the glassware fills the air. After your first bite, you can't help but compliment him on the porridge – it’s definitely the best hangover cure you’ve ever had. You can't help but think that he's just good at everything, like always.
It’s as if he doesn’t not know how to do something. You almost fear he's getting close to being perfect, and what’s even more surprising is that he does all of this for you without you ever having to ask. And when you mention it, he acts like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
And that kind of freaks you out.
But, at the same time, it also makes you feel guilty.
“I’m really sorry about last night…” you start. You don’t remember every detail, of course, but you can vaguely remember the fight that broke out and how Namjoon had to interfere with the security. And because you were drunk, Jungkook had to drive you home and take you inside your own home because you probably were so wasted. It’s not your proudest moment, and the apology is something from your heart when you continue, “Jimin and I pregamed at his place before we went to the club, so even before you came to our table we were already drunk off tequila that time. Not a good reason, of course. So I’m really sorry for causing you a lot of… inconvenience— anyway, did I uh— say or did something last night?” you turn meek under his gaze, nerves wracking. Jungkook’s brow shoots up, and when he doesn’t instantly say no, you sigh. “Oh my god, I did.” 
“No, you didn’t,” Jungkook quickly denies, interrupting the impending spiraling thoughts in your head. The only vivid pictures in your head right now were the events in the club, even the moment when Jungkook drove you home is blurry, and you could only tie fragments together poorly. “Don’t worry about it. You were drunk and you fell asleep on me when I helped you with your shoulders. I brought you to your bedroom.” 
You stare at him, trying to see if he’s purposefully missing out on some detail. But Jungkook’s expression is as neutral as it gets, just looks at you like how he usually does. Soft, fond. Something like that. You can’t even pinpoint it. 
“Well, I’m still sorry anyway,” you let out a heavy breath. “Jimin tells me I’m a super annoying drunk and he’s right and he should’ve really stopped you from volunteering to take me back home.” 
“You really like saying sorry, don’t you?” Jungkook teases, but there’s something to his tone that says he’s being half-serious. “I really don’t mind. I wanted to take you home, and we’re neighbors, anyway.” He shrugs. 
You nod your head. “Why… I don’t remember much about last night but why did you lie back there? To Jimin? When you said you’re still staying at Hannam.” 
Jungkook halts from eating and silence stretches out until he says, “I had a feeling you wanted me to.” 
You purse your lips. “I can’t even say I didn’t because I really did want you to,” you sigh again. There were so many things you did last night that you kind of regret now. It’s really just endless favors from Jungkook now, huh? You hate feeling… indebted. And you hate that you feel like you’re bothering him so much. “Things got so hectic and I didn’t have time to tell him about, uh, how we know each other and all that and I… I still haven’t told him, you see.”
“You know,” Jungkook starts, and you adjust yourself on your seat because he sounds serious this time, not like the usual easy-going, lighthearted tone he always uses with you. “I’m okay with whatever you wanna do. It’s your call. But I’m not sure why you’re trying to hide it from him. I don’t think he’s going to care that much that we already knew each other even way before he introduced us.” 
You swallow the lump in your throat. 
The thing is, you know Jimin is not gonna care – you know that well. But Jungkook also doesn’t know that you already told Jimin about him the very first day you met him. Jungkook doesn’t know that you told Jimin about this crush that you have on this new neighbor. And you’re not ready to tell Jimin that guy – the neighbor, unit 446, was actually his cousin. 
Maybe you’re overcomplicating things too much, but you’ve always been afraid of confrontation unless you have a solid, fool-proof plan backing you up. You’re gonna tell Jimin eventually, just not now. But…
“I feel bad about it. Sorry– if you wanna tell him, you can—”
“Hey, I’m not doing anything you don’t want me to do.” Jungkook cuts you off, looking at you sincerely.
You frown. He’s way too nice.
“You’re so…” you trail off, realizing that you don’t really know what to follow it up with. Jungkook is so… nothing. Blank. You come up with a blank. And not because you feel that way about him – it’s mostly because there’s so many things to describe him with. 
And all you can think of is that you have the urge to come up to him and wrap your arms around him and thank him for being this patient even though you don’t feel like you deserve it. 
Jungkook leans in, a playful smile tugging at his lips. “I’m so what?” 
It’s just going to be a friendly hug. You think to yourself. Yep. Just a friendly hug and nothing more. Friends can hug, right? Like, no malice whatsoever. Jungkook is not gonna think you’re trying to make a move on him; it’ll just be you expressing your gratitude. 
So you go for it, throwing your inhibitions away.
Who even cares at this point.
“Can I hug you?” you blurt out, nervously staring at Jungkook, feeling your cheeks heat up at the way he’s looking at you right now.
His smile widens, and you don’t fully expect it when he responds with a simple, “Yes.” 
You stand up from your seat and round the table to go over Jungkook who pulls himself back and stands, arms opening up to welcome you when you unceremoniously wrap your own around his waist. 
“Sorry,” you say when you bump roughly against him, but Jungkook only chuckles, and you feel the vibration through his chest when he does. His arms circle around your shoulders, making you snuggle against his chest. Probably self-indulgence at this point because his chest is so… big and warm and he smells good and he’s actually letting you hug him so… why not? “This is nice.” you say after awhile.
Truthfully, you initially planned the hug to be just a quick one, but it feels way too tight to let go. And you really don’t want to break away… and by the way Jungkook doesn’t say anything against it, you assume he’s just as into this as you. Probably. 
“I know.” 
You hide your smile against the fabric of his dress shirt. 
And somehow, you stay like that for longer than what… thirty seconds? Just hugging in the middle of your dining table without saying anything. 
You tighten your arms around Jungkook, and you almost let out a sigh of relief when Jungkook begins caressing your back.
“You’re really small.” Jungkook says suddenly. 
“Can you not ruin this moment, please.” 
He chuckles, and you feel him resting his head against the crown of your head. 
And the moment suddenly feels way too familiar…
“Jungkook,”
“__,”
Jungkook chuckles against your hair, squeezing a little on your shoulder. 
“You first.” 
You shake your head. “No, you first.”
“Ladies first.” 
You frown, even though he can’t really see it. “Really?” you deadpan.
“Really.” 
The lightheartedness of the moment doesn’t really deter you from the sudden melancholy that washes over you.
Truthfully, you feel conflicted. You have been for a while now. You don’t know exactly what you feel about him, and Jungkook’s actions don’t help. Sometimes, it feels like you can’t breathe whenever he’s near because you’re so mesmerized, but there are also times – a lot of times in fact – that you feel like he’s your safe space. Like right now. It sounds deluded even in your head but you think his arms feel a little too… home-y. Like you belong right there. 
Then there’s the guilt of being this… way. You’re so confused you don’t even know what you’re doing at this point. You push and pull. He almost kissed you and you swerved just in time to make up some lame excuse about being sleepy. He took you home because you were drunk and brought you hangover porridge right after he got out of work because… because what? 
“Why?” you whisper, the sound barely there. Like you didn’t even mean to let it out. 
“What do you mean, why?”
You shut your eyes close. “Why do you… why do you do this?” 
The question feels weighted, and it is. You can’t see Jungkook, and maybe you’re thankful for that because there’s vulnerability in your uncertainty that you don’t want to show him. 
You feel him pulling up his chin from the crown of your head, and when he lets go of your shoulders, you only tighten your hold around him. Partly because if he breaks away from the hug, he’ll look at you and see you. 
“You do these… things. You’re so nice. And you’re so sweet. You take care of me as if–” you stop yourself. “I don’t know, Jungkook. You confuse me. Why? Why do you do this?”
“__, can—” Jungkook tries to let go again, eager to make you look at him. 
“No. Listen, it’s taking everything in me to be calm right now. I’m embarrassed and I don’t want you to see my face.” 
You hear Jungkook letting out a sigh. 
“Why do you think so?” He says after awhile, finally setting his arms around you again. But this time, the other one is around your waist, and you try to not think too much about how he’s gently rubbing your waist right now.
You really don’t like the fact that you like it too much when he does that. Even hate it more that he himself seems to like doing that. 
“I can think of a few reasons.” you tell him.
“What are those?” 
Thank god you’re having this conversation without seeing each other’s faces. You’ll combust if it was the other way around.
“Well, maybe… you’re just inherently kind and you just like helping people.” You lamely say, and even you don’t believe that. 
Jungkook lets out a chuckle anyway, disbelief painting his voice when he responds, “You think I do this to everybody?” 
“I wouldn’t know.” 
“It’s nice you think of me like that. But no. I don’t do this to everybody, __. I don’t offer my place when someone’s apartment gets flooded, and I don’t cook them hangover porridge right after I get off work.”
You bite your lip. “Okay… then you’re just a really good friend, then.” 
Jungkook stops rubbing your waist. And you feel him freezing.
His tone is almost incredulous when he says. “You think it’s because you’re my friend.”
That makes you break away from the hug quickly. You take offense at the disbelief on his face, and you make sure to glare at him for that. 
“What do you mean by that? Are you being a snob when we’re literally hugging—”
“No, __, god—” Jungkook cuts you off. He grabs you closer again. Gentle. Putting his hands on your waist, he looks into your eyes with a deep sense of sincerity and eagerness. “You really think I do things like this to my friends?” 
You try to look away, but Jungkook’s hand travels from your waist to your cheek, making you look at him. You feel trapped, but there’s no feeling of suffocation from it. You like it, in fact.
“Well. Jimin would let me stay at his place whenever. Just not in his bedroom, though.” 
“Fair,” Jungkook says. His eyes cast their gaze down from your eyes to your lips. And you’ve been in this position before, but unlike last time, you don’t particularly feel like running away. “I’m glad you’re my friend. But I was thinking that… by now you must’ve realized I don’t only see you as that.” 
Maybe somewhere in your heart and mind, you expected that. Maybe you didn’t. Maybe you can still play dumb right now and tell him you don’t know what that means but for the record you’re not playing dumb, you are just this dumb and you don’t even mean that in a self-deprecating way. Just self-aware. 
But Jungkook’s words couldn’t be clearer. 
He likes you – is what he meant.
“Is it weird that we’ve only really known each other for a month… but I can already see the wheels turning in your head,” Jungkook muses when you don’t say anything. A small smile tugs at his lips, then, “You don’t have to say anything soon. If you’re not comfortable with this, I can stop. You just have to tell me.” 
You open your mouth. “I— I…”
But you find yourself drawing a blank.
“I like you, __, if it’s still not obvious.” Jungkook reiterates, more explicitly this time.  
Oh my god. 
You open and close your mouth like a fish in a tank, finding words to be unavailable in your head at the moment.
You feel Jungkook shift on his feet. “You can think about it. I’m not gonna push… but I’ll be here if you want me to.” 
“Jungkook.” You finally say his name, but it feels like the air has thickened around you.
Your fingers instinctively bunch the fabric of his collar, pulling him just a little closer. It’s not enough to throw him off, though; he remains steady, his gaze locked on yours, patient as always.
Always so patient. It makes your chest tighten.
“Yeah?”
The words are there, swirling inside you, desperate to break free. You know exactly what you want to say to his confession – you’ve imagined it, thought about it. It would be so easy, so fucking easy to say it. To tell him you feel the same way, to let him know you want this just as much. The words are right there on the tip of your tongue, practically begging to spill out.
But all that comes out is a soft, unsure, “Can you wait for me?”
It’s not what you wanted to say. It’s not enough. But it’s all you can manage.
Because even though it feels easy, even though you can almost taste the possibility of it, you know deep down that you’re not ready. Not for this. Not for the weight of it all – a relationship, a commitment you’re not sure will work. 
It’s like standing on the edge of a cliff, nature pulling you in for a dive, the wind howling in your ears. You can feel the adrenaline, the rush, the pull to just jump. But you’re unprepared, no harness to catch you, no guarantees. You know that falling means you’ll crash. You’ll hurt.
“I will.”
Jungkook’s voice is calm, almost too calm, and he smiles at you. It’s gentle, the kind of smile that makes everything feel... safe. And for some reason, despite the fear swirling in your chest, you believe him.
You decide, against everything in you that’s scared shitless, to trust him. To trust that maybe, just maybe, he’ll be there when you’re ready just like he promised.
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bloodibambiidoll · 11 months ago
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When You’re Gone
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(Ex!Boyfriend!Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader)
Summary: You go to one of Eddie’s shows and see him for the first time since you broke up and he’s willing to do anything to win you back. WK: 5.8K
Warnings: Slight angst in the beginning, mention of heart break/break ups, Eddie was kind of dick before the break up but he’s sweet through this entire thing, pining, unprotected sex, fingering, sixty nine, just a lil bit of choking, fluff fluff fluff, lmk if I missed any! 18+MDNI!!
A/N: So I’ve been missing Eddie a lot, I’ve been thinking about writing for him again off and on but the fear that I have from being bullied in this fandom has stopped me. But I guess all it took for me to break was seeing that ASSS so, I offer you this. Idk when I’ll write ST again, maybe it’ll be consistent, maybe it won’t. I guess this is a bit of a trial run. I put my HEART into this, I really kind of poured everything I’ve been feeling the last few months into writing this so that makes me extra nervous. But I hope you guys like it, I love u🖤
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You couldn’t believe you let Robin talk you into this. You hadn’t seen or talked to Eddie In months. Not since you stormed off the set of the music video he practically begged you to star in. He was being a gigantic snob the entire shoot. Telling you that “you weren’t doing it right” or “looks like we are going to have to shoot that again, can you get your head in the game, babe?” But the thing was your head was in the game and you were doing every single thing he asked exactly how he asked and yet it still wasn’t enough.
That was just the final straw. He had been acting like the sun revolved around him. Around his music. Around partying and blowing money just so he could brag about the shit he has. He started calling your friends and family back home less and less. Missing date nights. Forgetting anniversaries. He stopped telling you how beautiful you looked any chance he got and treating you like you were his everything because he had so much more than you now. Which you would never be upset about, you were and are still proud of him for every single thing he’s accomplished. But that problem was that he stopped being your Eddie almost entirely.
You hoped that it would pass, that it was just because it was all so new, the money, the fame, the adoration. But after almost two years it just continued to get worse and no matter how much you tried to bring it up to him he just reassured you time and time again that you meant everything to him. With no change. You couldn’t continue to give him everything while it felt like he virtually forgot you existed everyday. So you walked away, even though he was yelling after you, not because he wanted you to stay, but because he needed to get back on set and finish filming. You went back to your shared home, packed your things, and left.
Robin was more than happy to let you stay with her and her girlfriend while you got back on your feet. You couldn’t stay in L.A. without Eddie, he was all you had there. So you went back home to Indiana. To your friends and your family. Where you felt seen and you felt like you mattered again. But that didn’t take away the ache in your heart for him. The entire piece of you that felt like it was missing without him. Eddie had been a constant in your life since you were little.
You grew up together. You were both too stupid to get your heads out of your asses and admit how crazy you were about each other until you graduated highschool but you thought after that it would be forever. It’s always been you and him. You went through every phase, every hardship, every big life event with Eddie by your side. When him and the guys got that record deal you were more than happy to continue to stand by him through it all. But apparently he didn’t feel the same. Which felt like a stab in your chest day after day. You really did miss him so much. But you weren’t even sure if he missed you too.
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Eddie was sweating fucking buckets. He hasn’t been this nervous for a show in over a year, going up in front of all those people was a walk in the park to him at this point. But knowing you were going to be here tonight changes everything. He wants it to be perfect. He’s been working on this song for you since you left, just hoping that he would have a chance to play it for you. He didn’t want you to hear it on the radio, no, he wants you to hear it directly from him. He wants to see your face after. He wants to tell you how sorry he is for losing sight of the only thing that made all of this worth it. He just wants you.
Not a day has gone by since you left that he didn’t feel empty. He couldn’t do anything without thinking of you. His favorite restaurants were your favorite restaurants. His favorite movies were your favorite movies too. Your side of the bed being empty made him feel so lonely that he started just passing out on the couch every night to avoid looking at it. He stopped going to parties. Hardly ever saw anyone unless he had to go to the studio or play a show. Tour was awful, you were by his side through their entire debut tour so doing it without you felt like doing it without one of his guitar strings, or his arm.
The fans could tell he was less engaged. His record label was on his ass and so were the guys. He just couldn’t seem to shake you. At this point none of it even feels like it matters if he can’t have you. You’re all he wants and if he has to do all of this without you, if this is what ruined the two of you, part of him doesn’t even want it. A big part. He’s thought about dropping everything and just flying home to beg at your doorstep. But each time he talked himself out of it, not even sure if you’d want to see him.
But tonight? You were going to be here at his show and this was his chance to win you back. He would give it all up for you in an instant, all you had to do was ask and he would do it, no matter what it was. So when Robin called him and asked him to set aside an extra ticket for you he felt like this was the universe giving him another shot. He just hoped you would too.
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Your whole body was vibrating as you watched Eddie on stage, your heart felt like it was practically beating to the sound of his music, calling out to him. He looked good, really good, and as emotional as you are you still can’t deny the way your core throbs, and your thighs clench together at the sight of him. His hair was a perfect mess, the tattered at the knee jeans he was wearing fit him like a dream, and were reminiscent of the ones he used to wear, when he was your Eddie. Not the designer ones you’ve seen him in recently. He was wearing the battle vest you guys made in your first apartment before everything got chaotic and went to shit. With nothing under it. His tattooed chest and torso were on display and you noticed a few new additions. But your eyes nearly pop out of your head when they land on the little stick-n-poke heart with your initials in the middle that you gave him when you were 18 was touched up.
You can’t tear your eyes away from it for a good thirty seconds, just as they start to well up with tears you snap yourself out of it, looking up at his face again. This time locking eyes with him for the first time in nearly six months. Eddie’s soft chocolate eyes go wide and his fingers falter on the strings for half a second before he fucking smirks at you right as he picks up on the chorus. He keeps his eyes on you for the rest of the song, before announcing that they only had a few left.
Eddie is trying to focus on the crowd, focus on his chords, focus on anything but you, but it’s damn near impossible. His eyes just keep traveling back to you because he missed you so much, because you looked so fucking beautiful standing in the very front row under the stage lights and you were looking at him in a way that gave him hope. He made eye contact with a few fans, reached down to touch their hands, but no matter what he did he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. When it came time to announce the second to last song he felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. His eyes lingered on yours for a moment before turning to address the crowd.
“Hey guys.” Cheers erupt all around you and Eddie smiles, flipping his sweaty hair back, making you and probably every other girl in the room swoon. “Thanks for coming out tonight, you’ve been fucking awesome. This next song is… well, it’s a new song. I mean, it’s new to you guys, I’ve been working on it for a while. So there’s this girl…” His eyes lock with yours again and your heart beats somehow even faster. “She’s here tonight and I really fucked things up with her, obviously some shitty song isn’t gonna erase all of that. But I guess this is just kind of my way of trying to make up for it. Or at least starting to.”
As the band plays the opening notes of the song you immediately notice it’s a lot slower and more melodic than their usual songs. They have a few other songs like this, love songs that Eddie wrote about you, happy ones. But this is nothing like that, especially when Eddie starts to sing. He never takes his eyes off of you as the lyrics fall from his lips, lyrics about how sorry he is, how badly he fucked up, how he misses you so much he feels like his soul is missing. He pours his heart out to you as his deep voice filled with longing fills the venue.
You can’t stop the silent tears that stream down your face, unable to tear your eyes away from his for even a second. Eddie Munson, the love of your life, the beautiful boy who you got to watch turn into an even more beautiful man, is standing in front of thousands of people practically begging you for another chance. And it’s like every dream you’ve had since you left coming true. All you wanted was for him to come back to you and apologize, maybe beg a little. You might be an idiot for holding out hope that he would, but you always knew in your heart that you’d take him back if he did. It might take some time for you to fully trust him again, but if he’s willing to try so are you.
As the song comes to an end Eddie thanks everyone, making the crowd go crazy. Then he announces that the next song will be their last before looking down at you again. The flashing lights dance over the tears streaming down your cheeks but you’re smiling at him and it makes his heart soar. And when you blow him a kiss that he of course catches, putting it close to his heart like he has a million times, he feels like a dorky teenager in love with his best friend again. He watches you disappear into the crowd and his heart falls, almost forgetting that he was even on stage performing, all he could see was you. He could hardly focus through the last song, hastily thanking everyone for coming because he was absolutely terrified that you left without even giving him a chance to talk to you face to face.
You push through the sea of sweaty bodies until you get to the far end of the stage, stopping in front of the security guard, who of course recognized you and let you pass without even glancing at the bracelet on your wrist. You run over to Robin, practically knocking her over.
“Whoa! Slow down dude, are you okay? That was… a lot.” Robin grabs onto your shoulders to center you, her eyes laced with concern.
“Yeah, I’m good, I’m uh - I’m gonna go wait for Eddie in his dressing room.” You bite your lip nervously, avoiding eye contact with her, scared of her reply.
“Oh thank god! I can’t wait to tell Steve the plan worked!” Robin’s eyes go wide as her hand comes to cover her mouth. “I meaaan…”
“You know what? I’m going to bug you about this later, but right now I have to go.”
“Yesss!!! Go get your man!!!”
You snort as you turn away from her, rushing down the hall until you see the door with Eddie’s name on it. You pace the room a few times before sitting down on the black leather couch, bouncing your leg so hard it makes the legs shake. The air feels especially humid as your nerves course through your body, the material of the couch sticking to your bare thighs with each bounce of your knee. You can’t stop messing with your hair, adjusting your top, fiddling your fingers. It’s probably only been ten minutes but it feels like it’s been an eternity when the door finally pushes open.
“Princess” Eddie stands in the doorway, looking stunned. His eyes are wide, and filled with adoration as his large ringed hand comes to rest against his chest. “Hi.”
“Hi Eddie.” You smile at him softly as you let out an almost dreamy sigh. “I liked your song.”
“Yeah?” He takes a few steps forward until there’s only a few feet between you. “I missed you. I’m so sorry, I was such a fucking idiot. I can’t believe I let you walk away.”
His eyes are sad as he casts them down, looking at his fingers as he fiddles with his rings. A classic tell tale sign that Eddie was nervous.
“And I totally get it if you don’t want anything to do with me still, I fucked up. Bad.”
“Eddie…” you sigh, standing up to close the remaining distance between you. You grab onto his hands, stopping his movements as you look up into his eyes. “Look at me.”
When he looks you in the eyes again his own are brimmed with tears, and his lip is quivering. And even though you’re still upset with him, all you want to do is comfort him. It was like second nature to you.
“I love you.” You say it so plainly, so matter of fact that it makes the tears flow down his cheeks, a heavy sob escape his chest. You grab onto his cheeks, pulling his forehead down to rest against yours. “I love you Eddie.”
“I love you. I love you so much. I miss you everyday. None of this is worth it without you. Everything feels so dull. Everything I do reminds me of you.” His hands come to rest over top of yours as his tears continue to flow, tears of your own now streaming down your face. “Please just give me a chance to make it up to you, sweetheart. I’ll do anything. I’ll leave it all behind. Never touch my guitar again. Cut off my arm. Anything.”
“Well, you don’t have to go doing all of that…” you chuckle, tilting your chin so you can connect his lips with your own. You pour everything into that kiss, your love for him, your hurt, your anger, your longing. And he does the same. Kissing you like he would die if he didn’t. You only pull away when you absolutely need to take a breath of air. Foreheads still connected as you pant against each other's lips, just inches apart.
“God I missed your lips, princess.” Eddie runs his hands down your face, cupping your jaw. “Missed every part of you.”
“I missed you too Eddie, god.” You kiss him again, this time running your tongue across his plush bottom lip. He immediately grants you access, intertwining your tongues with a groan. Your fingers come up to lace through his curls, and tug causing him to moan into your mouth. His hands travel down your body, resting on your hips, his thumbs just grazing that bit of skin between your top and your skirt. You push yourself further against him, moaning when his hands move to grab your ass.
“Baby, wait, don’t you think we should talk more?” He pulls away breathlessly tilting his head back so he can look at you.
“Later. We can talk later.” You take a few steps back, stumbling a little on your heeled boots as the backs of your knees hit the couch, you plop down, pulling Eddie down with you. He puts his hands on the back of the cushions on either side of your head so he can lean down over you, his face inches from yours, his hair almost acting like a curtain around you, shielding you from the outside world. “Kiss me again, please.”
“You don’t gotta beg, princess, I told you I’d do anything, didn’t I?” He smirks at you as kisses you again, slipping his tongue into your mouth. You moan as your fingers desperately grasp onto the sides of his vest, pulling him closer.
“Touch me, Eddie.” You whimper, leaning back to look up at him through your lashes, your lips are kiss swollen and your lipstick is all but nothing at this point.
“Baby, are you sure you don’t want to talk before we-“
“Eddie, I appreciate your chivalry, I really do. But you said anything, right? I want, need, to feel your fingers again, please.” And how could he resist you, when you’re looking at him like that? And your skirt is pushed so far up your legs he can see your little lace panties, his favorite pair, if he isn’t mistaken. He would literally lick the bottom of your boots if you asked him to.
“I told you that you don’t have to beg, doll, I’m the one that should be begging for the privilege of being able to touch you.” He smirks, planting a sloppy kiss on your lips before kissing down your jaw, to your throat, leaving little nips along the way. “Missed this body so much.”
One of his hands grabs onto the top of your thigh, his thumb running over your slit through the thin lace of your panties pulling a soft moan from your lips.
“Missed this pussy so much.” He grazes over your clit before applying light pressure, rubbing circles on it with the pad of his thumb. “You’re so wet for me already, your body missed me too, huh sweetheart?”
“Yes, missed you so much, baby.” You pull him down further so that his free hand is resting on the cushion next to you and his neck and jaw were close enough to kiss and suck bruises into. “Mine, mine, mine.”
“All yours.” He chuckles as pushes your panties to the side, circling two fingers around your entrance and curling them upwards, stroking them against your sweet spot immediately. “Oh, you’re so fucking tight, practically sucking me in.”
“My fingers were never be as good as yours - ohmyfuckinggod.” A loud moan rips through you and your head falls back against the couch as he starts to thrust his fingers quickly in and out of your dripping hole. His thumb finds your clit, circling it in time with his fingers as his lips attach to your neck, giving you a mark of his own.
“Never have to live without them again if you don’t want to, I’ll worship this pussy everyday until I die if you’ll let me.” Eddie kisses down your chest, using his free hand to push your little tank top and bra down, freeing your tits. He kisses across the tops of them, leaving gentle open mouth kisses on both your peaked nipples before licking between the valley of them. He slides his tongue over so he can latch onto one of your nipples and it sends you over the edge.
“Ohhh fuck! Eddie! I’m cumming, I’m fucking cumming.” Your pussy clenches around his fingers as he continues to thrust them deep and fast into you.
“Yeah, that’s it, baby girl, cum for me. You look so fucking beautiful.” He kisses your cheek before leaning up and pulling his fingers from you. He holds eye contact with you as he sucks them into his mouth with a groan. “Just as sweet as I remember.”
“Eddie, please fuck me, I need you.” Your legs are still spread, your glistening pussy practically calling his name, framed perfectly by those little panties that he loves so much like a work of fucking art. The way your shirt and bra are pushed down under your tits is making them look irresistible. He leans down, resting both of his hands on your knees, and smiles at you in a way that makes your stomach flip.
“You have no idea how fucking badly I want you right now, but can I take you back to my hotel? I wanna take my take with you.” He nuzzles his nose against yours before sliding it along your cheek, placing a soft kiss there.
“Okay, yeah, that sounds good.” You’re breathless and so fucking horny but the idea of getting to fuck Eddie in a bed, where you would be totally alone, sounded a lot more appealing than fucking him in a dressing room where anyone could walk in.
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You grab onto Eddie’s vest and push it off his body the minute the door to his hotel room is shut behind you. You take his face in your hands, your eyes shining as you look up at him while you rub your thumbs across his temples.
“You’re so beautiful Eddie.” You coo at him, running your hands down his chest.
“I like your new tattoos… and this.” You run your pointer finger across the band of his pants before tracing the little heart on his hip. “When did you do this?”
“Uh - A few weeks ago.” He grabs the hand tracing along his hip and takes it in his own, bringing it up to his lips so he can place a gentle kiss on the back of it. “I was getting this other tattoo and my artist asked if I wanted to cover it up. I laughed at him and told him to touch it up instead.”
“Eddie… you feel heat rise in your cheeks as butterflies erupt in your stomach. “I want you so bad.”
“Yeah, pretty girl? I told you I’m all yours.” He grabs onto your hips, pulling you back toward the bed so he can sit on the edge of it with you between his spread legs. “Gonna worship this body, show you how much I missed you.”
He grips onto your shoulders rubbing them gently for a moment before hooking his fingers in the straps of your bra and tank top, pulling them down your shoulders. He leans forward, kissing along your bare collar bone as one of his hands snakes around under your skirt to grab a hand full of your ass.
“Missed these perfect tits.” He takes them in his hands, squeezing them, before he grabs onto the hem of your shirt and pulls it over your head. He reaches behind you to undo your bra, his fingertips gently gliding over your skin with each touch. He took his time taking your skirt off, kissing every inch of exposed skin he could until you were completely bare before him. “So fucking perfect, baby doll.” He grips onto your ass looking up at you with his bottom lip between his teeth. “Need to taste that sweet pussy.”
“Take your pants off first.” You reach forward and undo his belt before working on his button and zipper, popping them open to reveal his thick cock covered by the material of his boxers. He lifts his hips so you can pull them down to his ankles and you bend down to unlace his boots.
“Fuck, you look so sexy, makes me think about that time I made you hump my boot…” Eddie smirks down at you as he takes your face in his palm and runs his thumb along your bottom lip. It makes your pussy flutter around nothing.
“Yeah, that was one of the hottest things you’ve ever done, if I’m being honest.” You giggle before flicking your tongue out to run it along the pad of his digit.
“Jesus Christ, get up here before I bust from just looking at you.” Eddie grabs your hand, pulling you back up to your feet before kicking his pants off the rest of the way. He lays back on the bed, patting his chest. “Sit on my face, princess. Your throne missed you.”
You stand there for a moment, just looking at him. He keeps telling you how perfect you are but he doesn’t even realize how truly perfect he is. The way he was smiling at you like you hung the stars, his ink covered arms that are more toned now than when you were younger, along with his more broad chest that’s now nearly covered in tattoos. Your eyes travel down his torso to his happy trail, the v lines on his hips, and settle on the way that his cock is straining in his boxers. He was lying there, so perfect, calling his face your throne, and he is just so your Eddie.
“You good, sweetheart? Or are you hypnotized by my otherworldly handsomeness?” Eddie wiggles his eyebrows at you, leaning back on his elbows. You know he’s trying to be goofy but it only makes you even more desperate for him. You climb onto the bed to straddle him, your bare pussy resting on top of his cock, only separated by the thin material of his boxers.
“Yeah, I just really fucking need you.” You grind down on him, pulling a groan from him as you lean down to lick across his lips, sucking on the bottom one before pulling away with a pop.
“Fuck, get up here, now.”
He pats his chest and his tone has you clenching around nothing. He grips onto your ass, jiggling it in his hands before landing a smack on one of your cheeks. You moan as you scoot up so that your thighs are resting on either side of his head with your pussy hovering just over his mouth. Eddie wraps his arms around your legs, pulling you down so he can bury his face in between your legs. He licks a long stripe along your wet slit before circling your clit with his tongue.
“Oh - fuckingshit - feels so good.” You moan as he shoves his tongue as deep as he can inside you, flicking it against your inner walls.
“Yeah, that’s my good girl, missed this sweet fucking pussy so much.” He swirls his tongue inside you before he brings it up to your clit again, licking it with the flat of his tongue. He sucks your clit and your pussy lips into his mouth, causing your eyes to roll back.
“That’s so fucking good, yeah, eat my fucking pussy.” You lean back resting your hands on his thighs as you start to grind down on his face. You bring one of your hands to his cock, stroking him through his boxers, chasing him to moan even louder into your pussy. “Fuck, Eddie, I wanna taste you.”
You push yourself up off of his face and he looks up at you with a pout but before he can even protest you’re throwing one of your legs over his head so you can flip around and straddle his face reverse cowgirl.
“Oh jesusfuckingchrist, baby.” Eddie groans, grabbing onto both of your ass cheeks and jiggling the meat of them in his hands. You hook your fingers in the band of his boxers so you can pull his cock free, spitting on your palm and taking it in your hand. “Fuck.”
“Need to taste you too, baby.” You lean down, flicking your tongue out to leave little kitten licks on his tip before sucking it between your lips.
“God damn, princess, fucking missed your mouth so much.” Eddie moans as he uses his grip on your ass to pull your pussy down on his face again, burying his tongue deep inside.
You take him further down your throat, swirling your tongue around his shaft and using your hand to stroke what isn’t in your mouth. Eddie eats your pussy like a man starved, bringing his lips to your clit as he inserts two of his thick fingers inside you.
“Yes, yes, that’s so good, you’re gonna make me cum.” You pull off of him continuing to use your hand to stroke his spit soaked cock. He picks up the speed of his fingers as he sucks on your clit even harder. “Oh god - I’m - I’m fucking cumming!”
Your walls clench around his fingers and your thighs squeeze around his head as your high washes over you, loud moans and the sound of your wet pussy filling the room. Eddie doesn’t stop until you’re pulling off of him because it becomes too much. He grips onto your hips, flipping you over into your back before covering your body with his own. He connects your lips in a heated kiss, his lips and chin still slick with your wetness as you taste yourself in his tongue.
“Need to be inside of you, fuck.”
“Yes, please please fuck me, I need to feel you.” Eddie uses one hand to grip onto the base of his cock, running the tip through your folds before pushing it inside you. “Oh, god.”
“Shit baby, you’re so fucking tight, so fucking wet.” Eddie grunts as he bottoms out inside of you, pushing his hips flush against yours before pulling almost all the way out and slamming into you even harder. He starts to fuck you hard and fast, one of his hands on your hip while the other wraps around your neck just tightly enough.
“Yeah, fucking choke me, missed your hands around my throat, missed you, fuck.” Eddie picks up the pace, his hips smack loudly against yours as the hand on your hips moves down so he can rub circles in your clit.
“Fuck, baby girl, missed you too, missed this fucking pussy. Gonna fill you up, need you to cum for me.” The hand around your throat squeezes just a little tighter as his lips crash against yours. Your hands are gripping onto his shoulders so tight you wouldn’t be surprised if your nails break the skin. His circles on your clit never let up as he tilts his hips so he’s hitting your sweet spot just right.
“Oh - my fucking - fuck, I’m cumming I’m fucking cumming.” Your pussy squeezes him like a vise grip as you run your nails down his back.
“Gonna cum too, baby, gonna fill this pussy up so good. Never quitting you. Gonna marry you someday.” Eddie’s thrusts grow sloppy until he’s pushing his hips flush against yours and emptying inside of you. He buries his face in your neck, rocking his hips slowly as he rides out his high. He lets his body rest on top of yours, placing gentle kisses on your neck. You bring your hands to his head and lace your fingers through his hair so you can lightly scratch his scalp.
“I love you, Eddie.” You sigh, dreamily. “I know we have some stuff to work through, and talk about, but I’d really like to make it work. You really wanna marry me someday?”
“What!” Eddie pushes up on his hands, so he can look at you, a big goofy smile on his face. “Of course I wanna fucking marry you! It’s only been the plan since we were 8 and I gave you that ring I won with arcade tickets.”
“I just… I don’t know, I thought maybe you got sick of me and that’s why…”
“Baby…” Eddie’s voice suddenly sounds a little sad, maybe guilty. “That was never… I would never, fuck. Hold on.”
He gets up off the bed so he can find his vest, he picks it up off the ground and pulls something from the pocket before coming back to sit next to you on the bed.
“Can you sit up for me?” You sit up in front of him, looking at him with a raised eyebrow and a pout on your lips. “I got this… well, I got this a few months before you left and I was just waiting for the right time, ya know? And honestly it never came because I had my head so up my own ass that I wasn’t making the time. But uh - I want you to have it. Even if you don’t say yes, I got it for you, so it’s yours…”
He opens his hand to reveal a little black square box and when he opens it, sitting inside is the most beautiful ring you’ve ever seen. Set in the middle is a big shiny ruby, bracketed by two little bat wings on each side that lead into the band. It was perfect, you’ve been telling him practically your whole lives that if someone proposed to you with a boring ass dimond you would say no, no matter how big it was.
“Eddie…” Your eyes well up with tears as your bottom lip quivers. “Is that really for me?”
“Princess.” He chuckles, reaching a hand out to wipe away a stray tear that escaped. “Of course it’s for you. It’s always been you. And it always will be. Even if you don’t want me back.”
“Eddie, I - yes.” You smile widely at him, wrapping your hand around his wrist so you can turn your head to place a kiss there. “It’s always you, you’re the only one for me. You have a lot of making up to do… and it might take me some time to get fully over all of this but… I still wanna marry you. It’s you and me, till the day we die, stab a goblin in the eye.”
“Yeah baby.” He chuckles, a few tears of his own streaming down his face. You still wanted him. You were going to take his ring. You were sitting here in front of him more beautiful and grown than ever, repeating the words that you had said to each other as kids more times than he could count. “Till the day we die.”
He pulls the ring from the box and you offer him your left hand so he can slide it on your finger. You both smile widely and teary eyed at each other as he pulls you into a kiss. This one is different, this one is full of promise and hope and it’s like coming home. He rests his forehead against yours as he rubs the apples of your cheeks with his thumbs.
“Stab a goblin in the eye.” He chuckles, smiling widely as he places another gentle kiss on your lips.
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Taglist: @littlexdeaths @babygorewhore @eddiesxangel @voyeurmunson @rowanswriting @hippiegoth97 @jenniquinn @take-everything-you-can
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formula-ghost · 3 months ago
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Wildflower (OP81 x fem!reader x LN4)
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Chapter 3
CHAPTER SUMMARY: You’ve reached your breaking point with Oscar, but an unfortunate grand prix changes everything you thought you wanted. 
WORD COUNT: 10.3k
WARNINGS: Conversations about sex and but no actual smut, degradation, angst. Mentions of cheating. Oscar is literally horrible. Mention of unhealthy family dynamics. Lots of cursing. Pain, so much pain. Mention of injury. I’m so sorry for all the emotional suffering this chapter will cause. 
TAGLIST: @at-a-rax-ia @henna006 @linnygirl09 @cassielikereading @judelina @supertrashbread @fastandcurious16 @widow-cevans @czennieszn @irisesinthegarden @wierdflowerpower @sweetwh0re @reginalaufeyson-holmes @honethatty12 @suns3treading @obxstiles @mimiastroos @mrs-reeves-17 @milkysoop @amalialeclerc @starksztony @llando4norris @ginsengi @angxlzinthesky
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5
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Accept message request from Lando_Norris?
Your fingers hovered over the “accept” button, nervous but curious. What would Lando ever want to talk to you about?
He had avoided you like the plague since that night in Italy, and you hardly blamed him. But as far as you knew, no one except you and Nicole knew that Lily was no longer in the picture; still, what would have changed to cause Lando Norris, of all people, to be messaging you at night?
“Who are you texting?” 
You jumped, not having noticed that Oscar had turned over to face you, seemingly unable to sleep.
“No one,” you said. “Just scrolling.”
Oscar confirmed your suspicions. “I can’t sleep.”
“Me neither,” you said, short and annoyed. 
Oscar didn’t respond, instead just moving on top of you, holding your chin in his hands to force you to look at him.
“You can’t even sleep until I fuck you like the little whore you are, huh?” He leaned down to kiss your neck, lips grazing over where only hours before he had left dark marks in the supple skin.
“Get off me, Oscar,” you said, and he immediately pulled back.
“You okay?” he asked.
You weren’t okay. In fact, you were furious. “You realize that you never even asked me if I was okay with you talking to me like that?”
The look in his eyes said only two words: Oh shit.
“YN, I… I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think of it like that. Shit, why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“I shouldn’t have to tell you to treat me with respect.”
“I thought you liked it?” he said, running his fingers through his hair out of nervousness.
You sat up, the anger burning within you. You hadn’t planned to confront Oscar so soon after what you had overheard, but now that you’d gotten started, there was no stopping you. 
“That’s not the point. Maybe I’m tired of feeling like your personal sex toy, Oscar. Oh, but I forgot. My feelings aren’t your problem.”
Oscar exhaled angrily. “Is that really what this is about?”
You just looked at him, bewildered. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” you asked.
He began, “Look, I don’t know what you think you heard—”
“I heard you talking shit about me on the phone to your own mother.”
“It wasn’t like that, YN.”
“Then what was it like? What’s your excuse now?”
Oscar tried to begin, his mouth opening with no words coming out. He truly didn’t know what to say. “It’s been a hard time.”
“I know. I’m well aware, Oscar. Because I made your feelings my problem for years.”
“I know, and I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life—”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses anymore.”
“I’m not making excuses. I’m just trying to explain it to you.”
“Of course, you want to talk now that I won’t give you sex anymore,” you said, rolling your eyes. 
“Oh my God,” Oscar huffed, and it took every ounce of your strength not to curse him out then and there. “You act like I’m some fucking villian. You can’t get mad at me for fucking you when you wanted this too.”
“But how do you know that, Oscar? How do you know what I want? Have you ever asked me what I want?” Tears began prickling at the edge of your eyes. “You haven’t, because you don’t care.”
Oscar looked at the wall, his jaw tense. “I’m not doing this right now.”
“Am I not even deserving of an honest conversation?” you said, the tears now flowing down your cheeks. It had been years since he’d seen you cry, but Oscar wouldn’t even look at you. 
You got up from the bed and started changing from your pajamas to your regular clothes. “If you don’t want to talk, fine. I can’t make you. But I’m going home.”
“YN—”
“Leave me alone,” you said, grabbing your purse and exiting the bedroom. You heard him call for you again, but you ignored his pleas, walking ahead out of the apartment and to your car.
When you slid into the driver’s seat, you finally broke down, resting your head against the steering wheel. No thoughts went through your head. You weren’t much of a crier, so when you finally gave in, it was more of an act of your body giving up.
So you took a few minutes to compose yourself before driving the short distance home through the streets of Monaco, a place you’d grown to love. But his presence was everywhere. The car. The streets. Your apartment. Oscar was inescapable.
And when you felt your phone buzz as you sat with a cup of tea on the balcony an hour or so later, this reality was confirmed. He was calling. 
You didn’t answer the first call, or the second. But by the third you knew that your only options were to turn your phone off, block him, or answer.
Well, what did you have to lose?
“What do you want?” you asked upon picking up the call. 
“I’m sorry, YN. Can we talk?”
“Say whatever you’re going to say.”
He paused. “In person? I’m in the hallway.”
“I don’t know…”
“Please?” he asked. You sighed. Why could you never say no to this man?
“Fine. Give me a sec.” You hung up the call, took another deep breath, and opened the front door before immediately turning around to go back to your balcony. You couldn’t bear to look at him, and you welcomed the sound of the soft waves lapping at the harbor as a buffer.
He sat down beside you, and even before any words were said, you felt the tears returning. Something about this felt…final. And your intuition had hardly ever been wrong before. 
“YN, I’m so sorry. When I get frustrated I say things I don’t mean. I was really out of line earlier.”
“Thank you,” you whispered, unable to truly accept his apology.
He continued, “And you’re right. I shouldn’t have just assumed that all the rough stuff was okay. And I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
You waited a moment for him to continue speaking, but he didn’t. “Is that all you have to say?”
“I just…don’t know what else you want me to say.” You looked over to him. His head was hung low, like a child in trouble at school. Not like a man who was taking accountability for his actions.
“You really don’t get it, do you?”
“What?” he asked. 
You just stared at him for a moment, gathering the courage to ask your question.
“Did you talk to Lily like that?”
“Huh?” he echoed.
“Did you call her all those names? Degrade her?”
“Don’t ask me that.”
“Why not?”
“Because that’s…personal. I don’t think Lily would appreciate me talking about it.”
“She didn’t appreciate me being in your life, either. But look how that turned out,” you said, the malice lingering on every word. 
Your statement cut a little too deep for comfort. But Oscar finally relented, answering, “...I would, sometimes. She didn’t care for it. But I just…get frustrated a lot. It helps me get all that pent up energy out. Half the time I don’t even think about what I’m saying.”
You hummed. The implication of his words hung in the air; you were a relief for his frustration, a thoughtless passtime. 
When you didn’t respond, he got nervous. “Did I…hurt you?”
“Not physically, no,” you answered, your eyes never moving from the sight of the harbor in the distance. “But I don’t think you really care.”
“Of course I care.”
“No, you don’t.” Your lip quivered. You tried to swallow the tears that came up, but you couldn’t.
“No, don’t cry,” Oscar said, reaching out to embrace you, but you avoided him, getting up to lean on the railing. He followed you, this time not offering any comforting touch. 
“What the fuck are we doing, Oscar?” you said, barely able to get the words out. He grasped for words but wasn’t able to find them before the flood of emotions spilled from you. 
You began, “I used to think that the fabric of our lives was…like, sewn together. Like we were destined to always be in each other's lives. But ever since the breakup I’m so afraid that everyone who ever warned me about you was right. I feel like all these years you’ve just been using me, stringing me along so you could have someone there when things don’t work out. Like I’m just your backup plan. Like I’m not even good enough for you to treat me like a human being.”
“You really feel like I’m using you?” Oscar asked, his surprise horrifically genuine. “Was I just using you when I went out of my way to call you every week for 4 years when I was away in school, even during exams and races? When I got you this place because I wanted to live close to my best friend?” His tone went from gentle to frenzied—not angry, but desperate, like he couldn’t even fathom it. “I mean, YN, what, did you want me to cheat on my girlfriend with you?”
You looked up at him, and he realized again that he had messed up again.
“No, that’s not what I wanted. I’d never do that to Lily because you know it’s been done to me.”
“I know, and was I not there for you when you needed me?” In a way, Oscar was right. When you had broken things off with your unfaithful ex, Oscar was the first to your rescue, staying with you for days while you could barely even function. “YN, what else do you want from me?”
“I want you to be honest about what’s going on between us.”
“We’re…. hooking up, I don’t know.”
“Is that all I am to you, a hookup? A friend with benefits?” Your soft tears became full on sobs now. “Oscar, I am in love with you! You are the love of my life. And you can’t tell me that you haven’t known exactly how I felt, for years now.”
“Of course I knew,” he whispered. 
“Then why would you do this to me? Why would you take advantage of me like this?”
Oscar had started crying now, too. 
“I don’t know. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“This isn’t fair, Oscar.”
“I’m sorry.”
A thick silence fell over the balcony. You knew that the conversation should be over now. There was nothing else you needed to say. But you couldn’t stop yourself from continuing the pointless hurt. 
“Do you even love me?”
“Don’t—”
“Can you even look me in the fucking eyes and tell me that you don’t love me?”
“YN—” 
You didn’t even let him complete his sentence, instead walking back into your apartment and slamming our now cold mug into the sink. “Just go,” you said, your voice stern.
“YN, please—” Oscar said, following you inside the apartment. 
“Go!”
“You want the truth?” Oscar said, raising his voice to you for the first time since you’d ever known him. His eyes now flooded with tears, staining his cheeks. His hair was tousled, his under eye bags puffy and pronounced. He looked like a mess. 
“All I’ve ever wanted is the truth.”
“The truth,” he began, swallowing, his voice cracking as he spoke. “The truth is that I’ve been in love with you since we were sixteen.”
“No—”
“Yes, YN,” he said, his voice raising again.
“No, fuck you, Oscar, that’s not true!” You were both sobbing messes now. 
“Yes it is,” he begged, his voice ragged.
“Then why would you do this?”
“Because…” he paused, taking a deep breath and sniffling, trying to regain his composure. “Because we were best friends, and you lived with us, and I was so scared of fucking things up.”
“So you went and just found a girlfriend instead?”
“No, it…” he looked away from you and took a sharp exhale. “It wasn’t as simple as that. You…” He let out a frustrated sigh. “It was just…complicated. You were the girl who lived with us, like another sister, I mean, I couldn’t have feelings for you of all people. So I was so scared.”
He looked at the wall, scarating his neck, and continued. “And when I met Lily, it was all just…simple. Everyone liked her, she was nice, she’s smart. When I brought her home she fit right in, the fans loved her. She was everything I needed her to be, y’know?” He exhaled. 
His gaze fell to the floor and lingered as he continued. “I didn’t love her at first. I mean, I liked her, she was great, but it was more about just…filling a need, I guess. But I did fall in love with her later. I tried to love her with my whole heart, I really did. I thought that what I felt for you would just go away but obviously it didn’t. And then she fucking left me. As she should, honestly.”
Oscar nervously looked around the room until he could no longer avoid your piercing gaze, face frozen in disbelief.
“You’re horrible, Oscar.”
“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
“You used me. You used Lily. And all of this from the very beginning was about… my family? I’m sorry you all had to take me in because no one else would. I’m sorry I didn’t go to a fancy boarding school in London. I’m sorry that my parents are two pieces of shit that didn't want to take care of me when I was a literal child.”
“It’s not that—”
“But it is. That’s what you said.”
“It’s not you, YN. I mean, it was, but we’re not kids anymore. I love you. It was just… awful circumstances.”
“And now? What’s your excuse? I cut off my parents. And Lily fucking left you. So why are you just using me now?”
“It’s just too much right now. The breakup, the championship…I know if I try, I’ll just fuck it up. I lost Lily, I can’t lose you too.”
“Why? Because then you’ll have no one to warm your bed when you’re sad?”
“You don’t know what it’s like to lose someone that you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with!”
“You’re right, I don’t. Because the person I want to spend the rest of my life with is you, Oscar. But you don’t want me. You never have. I’m your backup plan until something better comes along. That’s all I’ve ever been. I’m not good enough for you, you don’t love me. I don’t even know who you are any more.”
“You said I was the love of your life,” Oscar said, his voice lowered now. 
“You are. But I’m not yours. I don’t care what you say you feel. If you really love someone, you don’t treat them like that.”
“I’m so sorry. That’s all I can say.”
You let out a shaky breath, exhausted of all energy from the fighting. You didn’t even have it in you to be angry anymore. 
“We shouldn’t do this. We should just go our separate ways and be done with it.”
“No, YN—”
“You have a championship to focus on, don’t you?” you said. 
“You’re my best friend,” he said through his tears. “I need you.”
“I’ll finish out my employment contract through the end of the season. You can sell the apartment. I’ll pay back Mum for anything she had to spend on me when we were younger.”
“YN, please,” he begged. 
“Don’t, Oscar,” you said, your voice soft now. “Just let me go.”
“Can I kiss you?”
The correct answer should be no. You should have told him to get the fuck out of your apartment and never come back. But it was Oscar. 
You didn’t answer him, instead just walking up to him and embracing him, letting him hold you in his strong arms as his lips met yours one last time. His lips were salty with tears, but for once his touch was soft and gentle.
When you pulled away, he stayed close to you, pressing his forehead down to yours. “I love you,” he whispered.
“Go home. You’ve got a flight to catch in the morning.”
You could call in sick to the United States Grand Prix in Miami; Oscar could not. 
Well, theoretically, he could. God knows the reserve drivers would be happy to take his place and show off in front of the teams that were always scouring for new blood. But he couldn’t back down now. Not with a trophy looming so ominously over his head.
And especially not in Miami. Everyone hated Miami. Everyone except Lando, that is. 
And as Oscar mindlessly paced the paddock back and forth, praying to God that no journalists would pester him for an interview, he couldn’t escape the reminder of his teammate’s victory. 
“Well, things seem to be heating up here in Miami! The race continues between McLaren teammates Oscar Piastri and Lando Norris in this early battle for the World Driver’s Championship. Piastri is putting in a valiant effort, but who can forget Lando Norris’ first victory here last year? It’s incredible to see how far he has come in such a short amount of time—”
He really needed to stop walking past the commentator’s box. 
This is usually when Oscar would try to find you in the paddock, or send you a text from halfway across the world. But he couldn’t do that anymore; you hadn’t quite barred him from communication, but what could he say?
He just needed to focus. Perform. Drown himself in the work. That’s what he told himself as he made his way back to the McLaren garage, away from the prying eyes of the media and the haunting words of the commentators. That’s what he told himself as he slipped on a set of headphones and nodded along as his race engineer spoke, acting as if he was paying attention. 
That’s what he told himself as he climbed into the car, took a deep breath, and pressed his foot to the gas. 
Thousands of miles away, in Monaco, you were supposed to be having dinner. Actually, you were supposed to be in Miami, taking photos of Oscar in all his glory.
But you couldn’t face him. You couldn’t eat. You couldn’t even sleep.
In the corner of your living room sat a box with Oscar’s old stuff in it. You stared at it as if it had the eyes to stare back. Your hand mindlessly swirled your fork around your remaining food, now cold and mostly uneaten.
Why did this feel like a breakup?
You wanted to scream, but you’d already gotten noise complaints from the fight days prior. So instead, your apartment was deadly quiet. 
You sighed, moving to your bedroom and collapsing in the soft covers, having decided to give up and indulge yourself with a night of bed rotting. But even your bed felt empty. The sheets held a faint trace of Oscar’s scent. It would come out with a simple wash, but laundry was the furthest thing from your mind right now. 
You needed a distraction. You grabbed your phone and immediately went to social media to mindlessly scroll. 
But in your notifications was one you had nearly forgotten about: that message request from Lando. 
You opened it without even thinking, unfortunately sending the read receipt even though you weren’t in the mood to talk to anyone right now. 
Hey, not to be weird but do you know if anything’s going on with Oscar? He’s been acting odd recently.
You groaned in frustration. You couldn’t escape your best friend. 
The message was sent a while ago—when the pair were in Bahrain, actually. You should have just deleted it and acted as if you never saw it. But you felt horribly awkward leaving Lando on read. 
Yeah, he and Lily broke up :(
Was the frown really necessary? Should you say more? You didn’t have the energy to think, sending the message without much fanfare. You locked your phone and put it back on your nightstand. 
But only a few moments later, it buzzed. Another message from Lando.
But…Lando was in Miami? At the circuit? He should be driving, not texting you. You opened your phone and clicked on the notification. 
Damn, that’s rough. I thought they were endgame. You in the paddock?
You raised an eyebrow. Why would Lando Norris, of all people, want to know where you are?
No, I’m back in Monaco. 
Another nearly instant reply. Ah, I was hoping to make a cameo on Oscar’s Instagram haha. You’ll be at Imola though?
This whole interaction felt…weird.
I will! I’ll be sure to get some good team shots lol
You tried to match his energy with your reply, but you couldn’t shake the odd feeling that this wasn’t right. But as you finally did put your phone down and retire for the night, your mind kept racing, coming to wildly different conclusions.
Maybe Lando did want to be friends. Maybe, now that Lily was out of the picture, he felt more comfortable around you. Maybe he was just trying to smooth things over with Oscar in the championship battle. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
Or maybe you were so used to Oscar’s lying and manipulation that you couldn’t imagine someone talking to you just for the sake of friendship. 
You huffed to yourself as the thought crossed your mind. You pulled your blanket up and buried yourself in it, as if the thoughts were something physical you could hide from. You fell into a tense sleep.
Oscar couldn’t sleep, though. He could barely sleep back when he had you at his beck and call, let alone when you all weren’t speaking to each other.
How had he fucked up so badly? He brought his hands to his face and roughly exhaled. Like you, he had resigned himself to spend his night scrolling, until he too noticed an unanswered message. 
Except it wasn’t from Lando. It was from Lily. As if things couldn’t get any worse. 
She was brief and to the point.
I just wanted to let you know I’ll be at Imola for a company event. I doubt we’ll run into each other. Hope you and YN are well. 
Her words stung. The professionalism where there once was warmth and love. The perfectly petty dig at him and you, assuming that he had already moved on (though, she wasn’t exactly wrong). 
He wanted to throw his phone off his hotel room balcony. From the slight crack in the blinds, he could see palm trees, and the ocean far off in the distance. And he knew that back in Monaco, you’d be staring at the same moon, hearing the water in the distance as it lulled you to sleep. The miles between you during race weekends had always been numerous, but the distance wasn't—not until now, at least. 
He slammed his phone on the nightstand and took yet another sleeping pill. 
It was going to be a horrible week. 
And, unfortunately, the morning wasn’t much better. Another oh so friendly interaction with his teammate. 
“Hey, Oscar, wait up,” the Brit called, jogging to catch Oscar as they both entered the paddock. Oscar slowed his pace but didn’t stop, hopeful that this would be a clear sign that he wasn’t here for conversation.
When he did catch up, Oscar just gave Lando a small nod as a greeting. 
“Hey, I, uh, heard about you and Lily. I’m so sorry, mate.”
Oscar turned, making a confused and irritated face. “Who told you?”
“YN. Well, I asked her if you were okay.”
The Aussie made a small grumbling noise. 
“I was just worried, you know. You just seemed like you were going through some stuff. You know I’m always here if you need me, right?”
“I need to beat you,” Oscar said, but his words had no bite to them. There was no snappy anger anymore, just exhaustion. 
“Of course,” Lando said, smiling, as if he thought his teammate’s championship ambitions were nothing more than comic relief. “But for real, man, I’m sorry and I’m here for you.”
“Thanks,” Oscar said, though he didn’t really mean it. He just wanted to be alone.
In Monaco, you were breaking your first cardinal rule of a breakup (even a friendship breakup) and turning on your TV to watch Oscar drive. 
You had managed to go without watching the free practices and even quali, but you couldn’t bring yourself to not watch the Grand Prix. 
And it was good that you tuned in, because he won. 
You nearly threw your phone across the room when he finally passed the checkered flag. You had been practically holding your breath since he secured the lead in a masterfully timed pit stop mid race, beating out Max Verstappen to bring home his second win of the season. 
So, maybe he wouldn’t hate Miami as much anymore. 
Your phone—secured now on your nightstand to prevent any race-related breakage—loomed in the distance as you debated sending him a congrats text. It wasn’t like you all had gone through a true breakup; you weren’t even together. But you knew you couldn’t let yourself end up in his bed again. You knew that he was a broken man, and you couldn’t fix him. 
So your friendship had come to occupy this odd liminal space in which neither of you knew exactly where you stood. At some point, this would have to be discussed, but clearly neither of you had learned your lesson on healthy communication. 
You wanted to tell your best friend that you were proud of him. Was that such a bad thing?
It wouldn’t be, if you could ignore that voice now echoing in your mind.
Since when are her feelings my problem?
You nearly gagged at the thought. Yeah, you weren’t texting him.
And back in Miami, Oscar anxiously awaited a text that would never come. 
“Oscar, mate, quit staring at your phone and let’s celebrate!” Lando teased, patting his teammate on the back. 
Oscar just sighed, opening his phone again to find no messages from you. 
“She’s not coming back,” Lando said. “So either you get drunk enough to call her, or you get drunk enough to find someone to replace her. Either way, you’re getting drunk tonight.”
“Really, Lando?” 
“She destroyed a five year relationship over some stupid shit, and you just won another grand prix. So yes, I think you should get fucked up with me tonight!”
“Don’t talk about Lily like that, mate. And besides, I’m not even waiting on her.”
Lando raised an eyebrow. “Then who are you waiting on?”
Oscar’s defenses were wearing down, even while sober. “You know who.”
“And you still want me to believe that you two aren’t hooking up?”
“It’s…complicated.” 
“Spill.”
Under normal circumstances, Oscar was never the type to discuss his personal life at work, much less with his rival for the championship. But as the plan of going out was abandoned in favor of a nice bottle of Cuban rum ordered to the room, Oscar found himself spilling his secrets like a teenage girl at a sleepover.
“And then I just…” he hiccuped, “I told her everything. And she didn’t believe me, and I don’t blame her, but it fucking hurt, you know? And we were just screaming at each other, she said we should go our separate ways. What am I supposed to say to that? And I still haven’t heard from her, but her and Lily are gonna be at Imola. I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do.”
“Mate,” Lando said, slurring his words, “You fucked this up worse than I fucked up the championship last year.”
The two drivers laughed—otherwise, they’d have to cry at the peril poor Oscar had put himself in. 
But the time flew by, and soon enough Oscar found himself on a flight to Italy, which he secretly prayed would crash so that he could avoid this entire charade. 
Of course, on all your respective flights, the feeling was mutual; neither you, Oscar, nor Lily really wanted to be there. But duty called, and you were nothing if not professional. 
It was an odd place to be; on one hand, you loved this job. It was fun getting to explore the world with your best friend and get paid to take pictures and make silly videos. The electric atmosphere of the paddock was one that had always felt like home, like you belonged there.
On the other hand, every time you thought about seeing Oscar again, you wanted to puke. 
Thankfully, when you did inevitably see him again, your lunch did not resurface. You operated like a robot; no banter, no friendliness, just stark professionalism. 
And Oscar didn’t know what was worse; not having you there, or seeing you act like a stranger. 
The one silver lining, at least, was that Lily was nowhere to be found. He couldn’t handle those emotions too. 
So, again and again throughout the weekend, he repeated that manta to himself: Just focus on work. Just focus on work. 
He said it to himself one last time before he hopped in the car for qualifying. Just focus. 
But he just couldn't. From the seat of his car, the chaos of the pit lane and the gaggles of photographers were just blurs, unidentifiable blobs. I had always comforted him to think that one of those was you, watching him. Now it was haunting. 
And somewhere, buried away in the paddock, Lily was there. Oscar could imagine it; her polished and professional demeanor, almost perfect, as she schmoozed up to that one executive from the company that he swore always had a thing for her. 
He wanted to scream. Instead, he had to pull the car into the garage as the session was stopped due to an accident. It was raining heavily. Extra caution was advised, his engineer explained, but Oscar couldn’t focus. Not because of his thoughts—although, those certainly didn’t help—but rather because of what he saw across the garage.
You were chatting with Lando. 
“Hey, YN!” Lando greeted as he hopped out of his car, seeing you in the back of the garage taking photos. “It’s nice to see you.”
“You too,” you said, though it wasn’t particularly true. 
“Looks like we’re going to be a while,” he said looking over his shoulder at the storm brewing in the distance, “want to walk the paddock with me and get some candids?” 
“Sure,” you agreed, though the request confused you. 
The two of you left the garage and Oscar felt like punching the wall. 
At first you walked in silence, your only emitted sound being the soft click of your camera. It was kind of pointless, though, since you were supposed to be getting shots of Oscar. You knew this. Lando knew this too.
“Can I ask you something, Lando?”
“Yeah?”
“Is there any reason that you’ve been pretty…friendly lately?” you asked, controlling your tone so it came off as genuinely curious rather than suspicious.
“Honestly,” he laughed, scratching the back of his neck with nervousness, “I felt really bad about everything that happened on the trip. I was afraid I might’ve scared you off.”
Well, that didn’t make much sense. Lando was the one who had been avoiding you since the trip. But, after dealing with Oscar, you had simply accepted that men in general made no sense. 
“You didn’t,” you said. “And, I mean, the only reason we ended up like that is because Lily was trying to get rid of me. But, you see how that worked out.” 
“Really? She didn’t have the balls to tell you to leave her man alone?”
“Not until after you left,” you said, exhaling in exhaustion.
“Damn,” he said, looking away from you. You snapped a few photos of his candid side profile, admiring how the light hit his curls just right. “You know, the only reason I ran off in the club that night like that was because I didn’t want to get involved in all that? I mean, I wasn’t about to steal Oscar’s side chick.” He laughed.  “But from what I hear, things have changed?”
You laughed. “Oscar’s side chick?”
Lando raised an eyebrow. “You weren’t sleeping together?”
“Why do you want to know?” you laughed. Was Lando…flirting with you? No. He couldn’t be. He was Lando Norris, the most notorious playboy of the 2025 grid. 
“Aw, c’mon. I want to know the drama!” he teased, flashing his boyish smile. 
“Well, what if I want to know your drama?” you teased back, taking the opportunity to snap a few photos of him as you continued walking. 
“Psh, I’ve got no drama. Just keeping to myself, trying to win.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“You’re avoiding the question, YN,” he said, smirking. Holy shit, he was flirting with you. But did you really mind? It felt nice to have that playful banter, to see a man who wanted that back and forth more than he just wanted your body. What was wrong with having a little fun?
You sighed and told him the most technical version of the truth. “Oscar never cheated. But you really thought I was sleeping with Oscar and you didn’t say anything to Lily?”
“Wasn’t my business. Besides, I thought it was pretty obvious.” His comment left a bit of a sour taste in your mouth, especially knowing the fears that Lily had confessed to you so long ago.
“No, I wouldn’t do that to Lily,” you said, and it was true. After all, you were both women. 
“And what about Oscar?”
You rolled your eyes. Having a nice conversation with Lando helped you remember how not nice your time with Oscar had been recently. “Oh, fuck him,” you said weakly. 
“Well, did you?”
You paused, unsure of whether or not to confess. “I already told you that he didn’t cheat. Is what, or who, I do in my spare time really any of your business?” you playfully teased.
His lips curled upwards. “I like to know what I’m getting myself into.”
The double entendre wasn't missed on you. You glanced over your shoulder, scanning the crowds to ensure that no one was paying too close attention. “You don’t have to worry about me and Oscar. But you know I run his social media, right? So I see all the gossip pages, all the shit you get yourself into. It’s a bold claim to say you’ve got no drama.”
“Oh, darling, they don’t even know the half of it,” he smirked. You all had turned around by now, walking back in the direction of the paddock. The crows were thinner now. 
He continued, “But what about you, huh? You’re all bored with Oscar and now you want some real fun?” He let out a small laugh. “No, you’re not like that. Too much of a good girl.”
“You think I’m too good? I’m here flirting with my best friend’s rival for the championship.”
“Are we flirting, is that was this is?” he asked, as if he didn’t know exactly what he was doing. “I thought we were just having a pleasant conversation, catching up on the gossip.” Unbeknownst to you, Lando had gotten all the gossip from Oscar after their drunken celebration in Miami. But he wanted to see exactly how much you’d reveal to him. 
“Well, sure then. I’m sure you get tired of race talk all day, anyway.”
“You say that like you think race talk is boring. But I’ve seen you at enough races to know better. Don’t play coy, you love it, don’t you? You know more about racing than most of the drivers’ girlfriends.” 
It kind of unnerved you, the way Lando knew exactly how to push your buttons. The subtle you’re not like the other girls implication; both you knew it wasn’t a compliment, but rather a statement meant to rile you up and see how you’d react. And it worked.
Your voice lowered, steady yet quieter. “It’s a bit sexist to assume that women don’t know anything about racing. And knowing more about racing doesn’t make me any better than anyone else.”
“I never said that, love.”
“Hmm, but you thought it.” 
“Are you in my head now?” You playfully rolled your eyes. “So tell me about all the race talk between you and Oscar.”
“Is that a euphemism for something?” you chuckled.
“D’you want it to be?” he smirked. “No, no, really. Tell me what groundbreaking F1 opinions are inside that pretty little head of yours.” Yeah, he was definitely flirting with you. 
“I’ve got nothing groundbreaking,” you said as your smile loosened, contemplating how you wanted to arrange your words. “I think Oscar has a good shot at winning the WDC this year, if he can get out of his own head.”
“And what about me?”
“I think you’ll give him a run for his money. But you care too much about what random people on the internet think,” you said, ending the statement with that on the nose jest.
“You’re probably right,” he smiled. “God, you sounded like my PR manager for a sec there.”
“Not exactly dirty talk, is it?” you joked.
You arrived back at the McLaren garage. Lando walked in first, seeing that Oscar’s back was to you, and positioned himself so that when Oscar looked around, he’d see him instead of you. You were none the wiser. 
He leaned down to whisper in your ear. “You still haven’t answered my question. How was he?” Lando’s face was plastered with a mischievous grin. 
You playfully hit his shoulder. “Don’t ask me that!” you cooed, though you didn’t mind his closeness, the warmth of his breath on your ear. 
Oscar didn’t like it, though. And when he turned around and saw your back to him, Lando leaned down next to you, and smirking, he wanted to run him over with his car. 
Lando looked up for only a split second, but his eyes met Oscar’s, as if to acknowledge what he was doing. Or, as if to say, yes, I’m doing this, and you can’t stop me. 
Oscar couldn’t handle the audacity of watching Lando flirt with you in front of his own eyes. Thankfully, you were tapped on the shoulder by none other than the new guy, who had broken his extremely expensive camera, and you were called away to help him figure it out. 
Oscar crossed the garage to face Lando, never breaking his line of sight. 
“Oh hey, mate, what’s up?” Lando asked, innocently.
“Why are you talking to YN?”
“Oh, she wanted to take some photos—”
“Don’t talk to YN,” Oscar said, his voice plain but stern. 
“Mate, we were just having a chat. It wasn’t like that. Don’t be so paranoid.”
“I’m serious,” Oscar reiterated. “Don’t cross that line, Lando.”
“Okay, my bad,” Lando said, nervously laughing and carelessly throwing his hands in the air. Oscar still wouldn’t shift his gaze, even as both drivers were called to get back in their cars to resume the qualifying session. 
There was something up about Lando, he could tell. But it’d have to wait. Now, he had a pole to get. 
Well, he tried, but only managed to come in fourth. Lando got pole. Of fucking course. 
Another sleepless night passed with no messages from you. 
And the next morning, there you were as usual, staring at him only through the eye of your camera lens. 
But then, across the garage, you had no problem chatting it up with Lando. He threw you a glimpse of his award winning smirk and Oscar felt violent. He didn’t like this. Not one bit. 
You were doing it to spite him, that was obvious. You’d never be interested in a guy like Lando; too much of a playboy. And honestly, Oscar knew deep down that he deserved this. But it still made him sick to his stomach. 
The feeling only dissipated when it was replaced by that primitive need within him to win. The lights before him went out and reason gave way to instinct. 
Lando bottled the pole, losing the lead to Max after the first corner. Oscar fell back one place, narrowly avoiding a collision between Charles and Lewis, before overtaking them as they struggled to reorient their cars. 
So it was just him, Max, and Lando. He could do this. 
His body moved automatically. He could hear the roar of the engines, the chattering of the radio, and the screaming of the fans in the distance, but in his mind all was quiet. Laps blurred as he sped along the track, pushing inch by inch closer to overtaking Max. 
Eventually he did, getting DRS and flying past the Redbull driver, pushing hard to get a good lead over him. 
All that was left now was his own teammate. 
“Okay Oscar, you’ve got enough space between you and Verstappen,” his race engineer said.
“I want to overtake.”
“A 1-2 is our goal right now—”
“Then he can be 2nd. I want to win.”
Silence befell the radio channel for a moment. 
His engineer returned. “Okay. Papaya rules.”
Papaya rules. The phrase that haunted his dreams. 
There was really no need to use the coded language anymore. The world knew what it meant—race, but keep it clean. Put the team above yourself. Don’t do anything reckless. 
But Oscar was sick of being the good teammate, the one who always let Lando win for the sake of the team. He was tired of being gifted wins. Team orders were bullshit. This wasn’t about McLaren anymore. This was about his pride. This was everything. 
So he pushed harder than he should have. He was wearing his tires out, he knew, but Lando just coasted along, as if nothing was amiss. As if his teammate wasn’t out for blood and gaining on him with every lap. 
Lando glanced in his mirrors and saw Oscar behind him. 
“Oscar’s getting close,” he said to his engineer. 
“We told him papaya rules. Remember, our goal here is a 1-2.”
“He’s gonna wear out his tires.”
“Let’s just focus on keeping P1.”
But Lando knew it wasn’t that simple. This was no longer impersonal racing, just the best of the best competing against each other because it was in their nature to do so. 
No, this was personal now. 
Lando rounded the corner, feeling Oscar hot on his heels, but managed to defend his position. He knew that with DRS enabled at the next stretch, he wouldn’t be able to hold him off. 
But in front of him, he was already close to lapping the backmarkers of the grid.
Oscar could see them in the distance; the familiar teal of Lance Stroll’s Aston Martin, and an even more familiar fumble as he drove erratically due to some mechanical issue with the car. 
Lando slowed down, but Oscar couldn’t react. He swerved, hitting the barrier. 
Back in the garage, the breath left your lungs. 
You couldn’t resist the temptation of watching. You’d slid the headset on after Oscar had driven off, and you’d planned to leave before he got back to the garage and discovered that you’d ever been there. No harm, no foul. The allure of the purring engines and adrenaline-fueled racing was just too much to resist.
But now, hearing the violent scrape of carbon fiber against metal as Oscar’s car screeched along the barriers, your heart sunk into your chest. 
“Are you alright, Oscar?” you heard his race engineer ask, his voice filling your ears. 
But the silence afterwards was deafening. 
“Oscar, can you hear us? Are you alright?” 
All that came through was a metallic gargle of noise, a sign that the radio had been damaged in the impact. There was no way to know if Oscar was hurt or not.
A hush fell on the track as the safety car was brought out. Lando had effectively secured his win, with so few laps remaining. 
Your eyes were glued to the screen, praying to whatever God would listen that Oscar would be okay. You watched as the marshalls rushed to the site of the car, huddling around the lump of broken parts that stood still on the sidelines. 
Because of the force of the crash, the medical car had been deployed as well. You were frozen in place.
You had never been much of a believer in God, but all you could do now was beg.
Please, God. Please let him be okay. If he’s okay I can forgive everything he’s ever done. If he’s okay I will never let him out of my life ever again. Please, God, please let him be safe. 
You chanted the prayer over and over again to yourself as the seconds ticked by like hours. 
Finally, after an agonizingly long wait, you saw the marshalls carrying along an orange-clad form into the medical car. 
You didn’t even think. You just reacted, taking off your headset and booking it towards the medical tent. 
You weren’t the only one there, though. The tent was already swarmed with media, all craning their necks to see Oscar. You pushed your way through to the front, only to be stopped by security, since you had your media pass instead of your usual VIP pass as one of Oscar’s friends. 
You panicked—to the eyes of security, you were just another reporter who was rudely trying to cut through the crowd to get to the injured driver.
“Please let me by,” you pleaded. “I know Oscar—”
“You can wait at the media tent.”
“C’mon—”
“Ma’am, we need you to leave.” You groaned, and you were about to leave before you heard the voice of your savior from out of nowhere. 
“Hey!” he called. You turned your head to see who it was—the familiar, friendly face of Zak Brown. 
He was on the other side of the barrier, but Oscar was still nowhere to be found. 
“Oh, YN, am I glad to see you!” He turned to the security officer. “Let her in.”
“Sir, media personnel are not authorized—”
“She’s VIP, not media.”
“Sir—”
“Do you know who I am?” he said, an unusual sternness in his tone. The security officer glanced down at his pass and silently let you through. 
“I’ve always wanted to do that,” Zak said, his boyish grin returning as he patted you on the back and led you along to the private area where they’d be bringing Oscar any second now. 
You sighed as he pulled the medical curtain closed. 
“Boy, was that a nasty crash,” he said.
“Is he okay?”
“Well, he’s alive. That’s as far as I know.”
Your heart sank again. But as if on cue, you heard the rumble of camera shutters and reporters chattering outside the tent as the marshals escorted Oscar into the tent. When he came up, the room was flooded with medical personnel, pushing you and Zak back to the edge of the curtained-off room. 
A nurse rushed in. “Who’s his emergency contact?” she asked Zak.
“Her,” he said, gesturing to you. You were confused. Since when had Oscar made you his emergency contact? 
“Stay here,” the nurse instructed, but even if you wanted to, you couldn’t move an inch. You resumed your prayers as Zak blabbered on and on, mainly to himself. One thing that you’d learned very quickly about Zak Brown once Oscar had gotten to McLaren is that he really liked to yap. 
As the doctors and nurses filtered in and out of the room, you caught a brief glimpse of Oscar in the hospital bed, his eyes rolled back into his head, slumped over into his shoulder. 
You wanted to wail. 
But it was only a few minutes before everyone began to filter out of the room, creating enough space for you to finally see your friend. And when you did lay eyes on him, it wasn’t nearly as bad as you feared. 
His eyes were closed; an attempt to rest, rather than a state of unconsciousness. 
A nurse at his bedside turned to you. “Don’t worry. He’s going to be fine. We’re going to sedate him and transport him to a hospital, but he’s not gravely injured. He just needs some tests done that we can’t do here.”
You nodded along, not once taking your eyes off Oscar. 
“And, yes, you are his emergency contact, so we’ll need you to come with us. He’s authorized you to make decisions in the event that he's unable to. But that is unlikely, of course.”
“Is he…?” you asked, gesturing towards him. 
“He’s still a little shaken up. The best thing right now is to get him into a calmer environment.”
You nodded. “I’ll make sure that new guy doesn’t lose all your stuff,” Zak quipped, and you threw a smile out towards him. “I’ll meet you all there when we’ve wrapped up here.”
Ah yes, the grand prix was likely still going on outside, and Lando would have to climb the podium and take his P1 trophy home. 
But as you sat in a hospital room in Italy next to your best friend, the podium was the last thing on your mind. 
Oscar was still completely out of it. The doctors had come and gone, confirming that all of his tests had come back normal. No broken bones, no concussion, nothing major. Just a shit ton of bruises and a shock to the system that left him too exhausted to stay awake for more than 15 minutes at a time.
Outside, the sun was setting, but you couldn’t sit still. You held Oscar’s limp hand in your own, tracing patterns into the cold skin. You hadn’t held his hand since you were kids—no, Oscar had held your hands above your head as he pinned you to the wall only weeks ago. 
You flung the memory away. Now wasn’t the time. Besides, you promise you’d forgive all that. 
Either way, you couldn’t focus on that now. Oscar’s eyelashes were fluttering open, his eyes squinting at the fluorescent light above him. 
“Osc!” you said, truthfully too energetic for the occasion. You dropped his hand, got up, and turned off the overhead light, leaving only the swiftly fading daylight from outside the window to illuminate the room. 
He groaned as you sat back down, but still mumbled a small thanks. 
“Where am I?” he asked, bringing his hand up to rub his eyes.
“A hospital in Imola.” 
“Shit,” he sighed. 
“Yeah. You had a pretty bad crash.”
“I remember that,” he said, his throat dry and cracked. He took a sip of water. “Lando brake checked me.”
“Is that what happened? I wasn’t paying attention.”
“Yeah. Fucker,” he cursed, his voice dripping with contempt. You didn’t know what to say. 
“How are you feeling?” you finally said, tired of the lingering tension. 
“Awful. Everything hurts.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m just glad you’re here,” he said, reaching for his call button to request painkillers. “I’ve missed you.”
It was bold, doing this when he knew you couldn’t exactly be cruel to him. So, instead, you were honest. 
“I’ve missed you too. I’m just glad you’re okay,” you said, reaching forward to smooth his hair away from his sweat-stained forehead. Your touch felt better than any painkiller. “We were really scared.”
“Nah, you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon,” he joked as the nurse arrived and wordlessly administered his meds. He let out a sigh as he felt the painkillers enter his system. “I run on pure spite. A little wall isn’t gonna take me out.”
You gave him a small smile. “You didn’t say anything after the crash,” you said, your voice just a quivering whisper, giving away the true depths of your fear.
“I had the wind knocked out of me. And then, everything just went black, I was fading in and out.”
“I was praying you’d be okay. It was so scary.”
“Hey, I’m okay. A little busted up, but I wasn't exactly a looker anyway, huh?” he joked, a feeble attempt to make you laugh. You sniffled and smiled.
He continued, “Can I use my near-death experience as an excuse for us to make up?”
Your smile dropped and you bit your lip.  “Osc…”
“I just want my friend back,” he said, cutting you off. “Look, I can’t be the boyfriend you deserve. Not right now, at least. And I think, after all the shit I did, you wouldn’t want me to anyway. But I miss my friend.”
“I miss my friend, too.” 
Your heart to heart was interrupted by a knock at the door. The same nurse from before poked her head in. “Excuse me?” she asked in an Italian accent, and you looked up. “There is a visitor asking to be let in. She said her name is Lily?”
You couldn’t help the face you made. What on God’s green Earth was Lily doing in Imola?
“Um, yeah, let her in,” Oscar said. He didn’t react, though you scooted away and sat at the edge of your seat, ready to leave at any second. “Stay,” he whispered to you, and you did. 
A few moments later, you saw her walk in, and the atmosphere was thick. 
“Hi Oscar,” she exhaled, grateful to see him okay. He greeted her back, but she didn’t even look at you. You got up to give them a moment, but Oscar reached out and grabbed your wrist. “Don’t go,” he said, and the look in his eyes was impossible to refuse. You tentatively sat back down. 
“How are you feeling?” Lily asked, and the two exchanged pleasant conversation back and forth. You wanted nothing more than to jump out of the window that now showed the sunset over the trees. Normal visiting hours would be ending soon. 
“Well, I just wanted to make sure that you were okay,” she said, getting up to leave. “I’m glad you’re doing well. You too, YN,” she added on the end, but you didn’t believe it. You gave her a flat but polite smile. 
“Actually, YN, could we have a word?” she asked, cocking her head in the direction of the hallway. 
The look on Oscar’s face told you that this was a horrible idea. But one of you was confined to a hospital bed, and the other wasn’t. You ignored him and followed Lily into the deserted hallway.
She turned to you, voice full of venom. “How long have you been sleeping with Oscar?”
“What?”
“You heard me,” she said, plain as day. 
“I’ve told you before, Oscar never cheated on you.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
You turned your head in confusion. “What are you getting at?”
Lily angrily sighed. “You think that you can just waltz around the paddock talking shit about me with Lando, and that I’m not going to hear about it?”
Had Lily been at the paddock? Or even worse: had she somehow heard you?
“Well, if you actually heard my conversation with Lando, you’ll know that I stood up for you.”
“I thought you were a girl’s girl,” she said, deflecting from your defense.
“I am.”
“Then why were you in bed with my boyfriend 4 days after we broke up?”
“Your ex boyfriend,” you said, meeting her level of venom. “You left him.”
“I just thought, after all that talk, you’d have the decency not to prove me right.”
“Lily, I was honest with you. If you’re mad at Oscar, don’t take it out on me. He’s the one who suggested it. I told him it was a bad idea.”
“But you did it anyway.”
“And I felt horrible about it. So I stopped.” Your voice was sharp. “Who told you any of this?”
“It doesn't matter. I hope you’re happy.”
“I hope you are, too. Genuinely.” You lacked the words to say what you really wanted to. He treats both of us like shit. He used us. I am not your enemy. She wouldn’t want to hear it anyway. She wordlessly walked away, scoffing and mumbling to herself. 
You didn’t say anything either as you walked back into the hospital room and slumped in the chair.
“I’m guessing that didn’t go well?” Oscar said.
“Nope.”
“Well, we were in the middle of something…”
Oh, right. The conversation where Oscar was trying to get back in your pants. 
“I’m not going to fuck you, Oscar.” 
“I’m not asking you to.”
“We can let anything lead to that. Not again.”
“I understand,” he said. “I just want my friend back in my life. Like all of that never happened.”
“Could we even do that?” you asked. It felt like a line had been crossed, moving your friendship in a way that couldn’t be undone. 
“I promise. And I know my word doesn’t mean much, but really, I promise. Never again.”
Haven't you promised that you’d forgive him?
“Okay,” you said, “Okay.”
Oscar smiled at you, showing off his bunny teeth. You still loved him. You couldn’t help it. But true to form, you could never stay away.
“Oh, and by the way, congrats on Miami.”
You fell asleep in the chair, having refused to leave Oscar’s side. He’d be discharged in the morning to make his flight back to Monaco, though it was questionable whether or not he’d be able to race in the iconic Grand Prix. 
True to his word, though, Oscar got one final set of visitors in the dead of night.
The first was Zak Brown. 
“Oscar!” Zak yelled, before Oscar shushed and pointed to your sleeping form. You stirred but didn’t fully wake, and Zak placed his hand over his mouth and raised his eyebrows as Oscar let out a quiet laugh.
“Hey Zak,” he said, his voice hushed.
“Glad to see you’re doing better.”
“Yeah, I made it,” he mused. “Hey, what did the FIA say?” Oscar’s phone had died since you had fallen asleep, and his charger had been left at the track.
Thankfully, Zak had brought his (and your) belongings, and he placed the bag at the foot of the hospital bed. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, the penalty, from the crash?”
“No one got a penalty.”
“But, Lando brake checked me.”
“Lando barely avoided a crash with Stroll.”
“I know, but he didn’t swerve, he slowed down. He had room to swerve, I didn’t. How did no one get a penalty?”
“That's just racing.”
“He intentionally slowed down to stop me!”
“Oscar, I highly doubt that that’s what happened. It was a crowded track, and you all had to react in a split second. These things happen, you know this.” 
Oscar wasn’t at all pleased with this answer, and it was worsened by the appearance of his second visitor: Lando himself.
“Ah, there’s our grand prix winner!” Zak said, giving him a hearty pat on the back. 
Lando smiled, and Oscar wanted to throw up. 
“Had to bring it home for the team,” he said, smiling at Zak. “You doing alright, mate?” he asked. 
Oscar was already tired of people asking him how he was feeling. “I’m fine,” he said.
“Lando gave Stroll an earful after the race.”
“Oh yeah, probably getting fined for that one…”
“Why? I didn’t crash because of Stroll. You brake checked me.” The pain was making Oscar more irritable. He’d need another dose of meds soon. 
“No, Stroll was driving like an idiot out there, I had to slow down.”
“No, you had to move. You’re not stupid. You just didn’t want me to overtake, didn’t you?”
“Okay, boys, let’s save this for the track,” Zak interjected. Oscar just grumbled. “I’ll meet you outside, yeah?” he said to Lando, who nodded but stayed behind. 
The Brit glanced at you, still fast asleep in the chair by Oscar’s bedside. “D’you tire out your babysitter?” he smiled. 
But Oscar was relentless. “Don’t talk about her.”
“I thought you all weren’t on speaking terms?” 
“Lando, mind your business.”
“I don’t know what your problem is, mate.”
“You think I don’t know what you’re up to.”
“I’m not up to anything. I’m just trying to be a good teammate. Jesus, Osc, they should check that you didn’t hit your head too hard, you’re so paranoid.”
Truthfully, Oscar was bluffing. He had a horrible feeling about his teammate, but no evidence to back it up. But his intuition was hardly ever wrong. 
“I ran into Lily after you left,” Lando said. “I hope you don’t mind, but I told her you were here.” His tone of voice was so gentle that Oscar began to wonder if maybe he was being too paranoid.
“Yeah, she came by earlier.” 
Lando’s eyes glanced back to your sleeping form, and Oscar felt his anger rise again. He didn’t even want Lando to look in your direction, let alone be speaking to you. 
“Your heart rate is up,” Lando said, gesturing to the monitor that now showed the physical effects of Oscar’s anger.
“Look, Lando,” Oscar said, shifting to sit up in bed. “Stop acting like we’re friends. Stop talking to YN, stop trying to play this buddy-buddy game. We’re here to beat each other.”
“I was just trying to be kind, but I guess if you really don’t want to be friends, I can’t make you.”
“I’m serious. Leave YN alone. Don’t even go there.”
“She’s an adult.”
“And she’s mine.”
Lando laughed. “Seriously? That’s not exactly what she told me.”
The monitor beeped again as Oscar’s heart rate continued to rise. “I don’t care what she told you.”
“You can’t tell me what to do.” 
“Try it. See what happens.”
A nurse gently knocked on the door, and Oscar was grateful for the distraction and relief of pain meds. 
“Well,” Lando said, leaning on the door, “I guess I’ll see you all in Monaco.”
587 notes · View notes
kookooluvr · 3 months ago
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Teach Me How To Love - Part 5
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pairing: professor!jungkook x (fem) professor!reader, fwb to lovers
genre: fluff, angst, smut, fwb au, economicsprofessor!jungkook, politicalscienceprofessor!reader, slow burn, some emotional constipation, some sappy moments, lots of sexy moments.
summary: jeon jungkook, a fellow professor at yonsei university, is your friend, co-worker, and secret bed buddy. you have rules set in place to make sure there are no misunderstandings in your little arrangement. the #1 rule is as clear as day; no catching feelings. simple, right? wrong. let's see how un-simple it gets when a certain economics professor falls for an emotionally unavailable political science professor.
rating: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
word count: 16k
warnings: the gang all head off to jeju, jk and oc have a little moment on the plane, jk's secret playlist for oc, jk and oc share a room thanks to tae, he gets hard from a few smoochies, oc finds out what jk said about her back when they met, some jealousy, she takes a step back before taking a step forward, some wholesome vibes, lots of yearning, cuddles, oc has a few realisations, volleyball on the beach, HANA AGAIN (she's a warning all on her own), very minor ankle injury, mentions of oc's past heartbreak, some angst + fluff on the beach, explicit sexual content; making out, shower sex, fingering (f. receiving), handjob (m. receiving), oral (m. receiving), unprotected sex (oc's on the pill you know the drill), a brief description of fluffy morning sex, nipple play, oral (f. receiving), sleepy missionary sex, overall fluffy ending.
author's note: i just want to thank you all for all the love and support this story has gotten so far, i love and appreciate you all so so much !!! i really hope you enjoy part 5 (this is a lengthy one ladies and gentlemen so be prepared) and please don't be shy to share your thoughts because i love hearing them okay bye 🫶🏼🫶🏼
taglist: @rpwprpwprpwprw @livinluvl @chxiosworld @mimi1097 @bumblebee-21s-blog @koosluvss @sou-17 @svnbangtansworld @junecat18 @shrek-the-destroyer @tastykookoonut @sturniolowrld @palomanazareth @chimmisbae @daskewl @ramyun-h @heyitsroshni @matryoshka-poetry @almatiarau @ambiee3 @gukkie7
find tmhtl masterlist here
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Today is just not your day. No, there wasn't an earthquake or a massive flood (it's far less dramatic than that) but more so minor inconveniences continuously piling up. For starters, Miso threw up on your bed, which was a fantastic start to the morning. You checked to make sure it wasn't anything serious, but it turns out she just had a hairball. Typical. Then there was an accident on the road around 10am, so you were stuck in traffic while taking Miso over to Jihyo's place where she'll be staying for the next few days. On top of that, you can't find your phone charger or your headphones and Jungkook is currently on his way to your apartment to pick you up to go to the airport, giving you very little time to get your shit together.
Mai and Namjoon and the rest of Jungkook's friends are all at the airport already, waiting for the flight which is set to leave at 2pm to take you all from Seoul to Jeju. Mai has been texting you nonstop to confirm that you're still going, and at one point you weren't sure if you should follow through, but you just couldn't disappoint her. The two of you are already becoming fast friends, and she seems pretty excited to have you come along with all of them. What's the harm in joining Jungkook and his friends on a three-day trip?
You're frantically checking to make sure you haven't forgotten to pack anything important, when your phone buzzes, signalling a text from Jungkook letting you know he's on his way up to your apartment. Well...fuck it. If you forgot anything, it's too late to stress about it now.
You scurry to make sure you have all your skincare products and toiletries before quickly zipping up your luggage. Minutes later there's a knock on your door, so you roll your suitcase to the living room and open the front door, feeling your stomach flip at the sight of him. He ditched his usual button-up shirt and slacks for a casual golfer and jeans, the denim hugging his thighs just right, the shirt's short sleeves showing off his thick biceps. His hair is styled a little messily, paired with his favourite black sunglasses. He looks like the lead role out of a rom-com, and that's not just because you're ovulating. Damn, maybe today is your day after all.
"Hey," he smiles, pushing his sunglasses to the top of his head to push back his hair. "You all set?"
"Yeah, let me just get my suitcase-"
"Lemme get that for you."
You reach for the handle of your suitcase, but he stops you and quickly gets it before you do. You have no problem carrying your own bags or rolling around a heavy suitcase, but Jungkook wouldn't be Jungkook if he wasn't a true gentleman, so you let him do it because you know he's just going to insist anyway.
"Oh, uhm, thanks," you murmur, watching his arm flex as he carries your suitcase out the apartment, giving you a chance to lock the door.
"It's no problem," he shrugs, flashing you a smile. The two of you walk to the elevators, going downstairs to his car in the parking lot. He unlocks the car and puts your suitcase next to his in the trunk, opening your door for you before making his way over to the driver's seat, the engine roaring to life.
The drive to the airport is a short one, but you use your time wisely, stealing little glances while he's not looking, taking in the way his muscles flex under his skin, the way his hair blows in the light breeze of the air conditioner, the way his skin glows under the summer sun. He's a gorgeous man, and you could stare at him for hours, but you mentally remind yourself to look away every time your thoughts get a little too carried away or the butterflies in your stomach flap their wings just a little too hard. He's not your boyfriend, and a three-day trip with him and his friends won't change that, even if your brain and your heart have been having a few disagreements about that lately.
"So...you ready for Jeju?" He asks, snapping you out of your daze.
"Yeah, the weather should be nice," you murmur, looking out the window as the other cars pass by.
"I hope you didn't feel obligated to come, y'know. I know Mai can be a bit pushy at times but she means well," he mutters, keeping his eyes straight ahead of him as he drives.
"No, no, I'm happy to come," you murmur. "I mean...I was pretty drunk when she initially invited me, so obviously I wasn't going to say no, but it's a free vacation. What type of person would I be to complain about that?"
You had insisted on paying for your own plane ticket to Jeju, but Mai just wasn't having any of that. She graciously offered to pay for your ticket because she invited you a bit last minute. You could have managed, but as Jungkook says, Mai can be a bit pushy. Not that you mind, you've actually started growing quite fond of her since you met that night at the club.
He glances over at you for a moment, then reluctantly looks away. He wishes he wasn't driving so that he could just keep staring. A few moments pass in comfortable silence before he speaks, his voice soft and contemplative. "I really am glad you decided to join."
You look over at him, a faint smile gracing your face. "Why? Because otherwise you'd have to use your hand instead of me?"
He scoffs, rolling his eyes. "No," he mutters, trying to sound annoyed but failing as a hint of amusement creeps onto his face. "Because I really enjoy your company, ___."
You try to remind yourself why you set so many rules and boundaries between the two of you, but you can barely hear your brain over the loud chattering of your heart. "Yeah...me too," you murmur softly, looking back out the window for the rest of the drive. This trip is surely going to be a test of your self-restraint, that's for sure.
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At the airport, the two of you meet the rest of his friends, getting a tight hug from an excited Mai, hearing Namjoon chuckle at his fiancée's enthusiasm.
"Mai, c'mon, you're suffocating her," Jungkook jokes, greeting the rest of his friends with a pat on their back. Everyone is excited to get to Jeju, a few of them already talking about going down to the beach once they land. It'll be a nice get-away from the concrete jungle that is Seoul.
"Oh, I'm sorry, ___," she chuckles, pulling away to go and stand next to Namjoon, looking like a puppy being taken on a walk. "I'm just so happy we're all together."
"It's okay," you murmur with a smile. "Thank you again for inviting me, Mai."
"Of course! You're Jungkook's friend, so you're our friend now too."
Her words bring a strange, warm feeling to your chest. You've only ever had a handful of friends in your life, Jihyo being your right-hand woman. You're so used to keeping people at arm's length, so to have his friends be so willing to accept you into their friend group is new, and just slightly intimidating.
Everyone hangs out in the waiting area until it's time for the flight. Jisoo and Seokjin have a little argument about whether he turned the stove off before they left the house, Namjoon and Mai discuss everything they want the group to do in Jeju, while Hoseok, Yoongi, Taehyung and Jimin are already thinking about what's for dinner tonight.
Much to Jungkook's dismay, Hana is here as well, so he quickly goes to sit with you before she can start up a conversation with him. She watches the way he not so subtly flirts with you, the way you try to act indifferent, despite the occasional chuckle you let out at one of his dumb jokes. It makes her blood boil.
Hana's not an idiot. She knows something is going on between the two of you, but she also knows that Jungkook would be showing you off if you were his girlfriend. She can't figure out exactly what it is you two have going on, but she doesn't like it. On the plane, she finds it annoying that he insists on putting your suitcase up in the overhead compartment for you, and she mentally rolls her eyes when he sits next to you, leaving her to sit next to Hoseok and Yoongi.
Jungkook on the other hand is quite happy to be seated next to you, after subtly shoving Taehyung out of that seat, leaving his friend to sit in the next row. Not that Taehyung minds, he'll anyway just end up texting a certain friend of yours throughout the flight, which he spent all of last night doing as well.
"I made this new playlist on Spotify," Jungkook quips as he gets his phone out, putting one of his earphones in before holding the other one out for you. "Wanna hear?"
You move closer and place the earphone in your ear with a smile, looking down at his phone to see the title ___'s playlist on the screen. That was definitely not meant for your eyes. At least not yet.
"Hey, what's that?" you ask, but he quickly scrolls past it before you can get a proper look at it.
"Hm? Oh no, that's nothing. Here it is," he mutters quickly, his movements a bit panicked as he clicks on a playlist called Jeju Summer. You'll have to ask him about that other playlist another time. He hits play and the first song is by Beabadoobee, causing your eyebrows to raise in surprise.
"I didn't know you listened to Beabadoobee," you chuckle.
"What, are you making fun of me?" he asks with an amused smile and a raised eyebrow.
"No, of course not. I love her, I just wouldn't have pegged you to listen to this sorta music, that's all."
"Well...maybe you have a few more things to learn about me, Professor," he teases, looking over at you with a soft smile, the catchy melody playing through his earphones.
The songs play one by one, some a bit slower than others, causing your eyes to slowly fall closed, your head lowering to rest on his shoulder. The weight of your head on his shoulder brings a smile to his face, his head resting against yours for the remainder of the flight. He scrolls back to the playlist he made for you and hits play, letting out a soft sigh as 'The Only Exception' by Paramore starts to play. The playlist isn't finished yet, but he hopes to gain the courage to show it to you some day.
Hana watches the exchange from her seat, mentally cursing you. She has no claim over Jungkook, but that doesn't make it sting any less, and if her eyes were daggers, you'd be dead by now. She has to force herself to look away from the two of you, her face growing hot with jealousy. She can't quite remember why she even wanted to come on this trip in the first place.
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Once the group arrives in Jeju, everyone splits into separate groups to go over to Mai's family's beach house. Seokjin, Jisoo, Namjoon and Mai share a car, while Yoongi, Hoseok, Hana and Jimin all drive together, leaving you, Jungkook and Taehyung to drive together in the third car.
Jungkook packs everyone's luggage in the trunk of the rental car and gets the engine running. You sit in the passenger seat, leaving Taehyung to sit on the back seat. It's a beautiful day in Jeju, the waves crashing as you all drive down the scenic route. Jungkook occasionally steals glances at you while he drives, causing Taehyung to stifle a big grin. He can't tell if you're oblivious to his friend's obvious affection toward you, or if you're just choosing to ignore it. Either way, it's quite amusing for him to witness first hand.
"I wonder how many rooms there are at this house," Taehyung mumbles, looking out at the view. "I'm sure a few people will have to share, huh?"
"Well, obviously each couple will share a room," Jungkook murmurs.
"Right...Joon and Mai, Jin and Jisoo, you and-"
"Wow! Look at that view!" Jungkook interjects before he can go any further, shooting his friend a narrow-eyed look in the rear-view mirror, Taehyung pretending to seal his lips. The rest of the drive is filled with the soft sounds of the radio playing, paired with the sounds and smell of the ocean outside.
It's a thirty-minute drive before you all get to the beach house. Jungkook pulls up into the driveway and gets out, going around to open your door for you. Once you get out the car, your eyes widen in awe of the stunning house. It's a big two-story home with six bedrooms, large windows and the beach right at its feet. Some of the others are already there, Jisoo and Mai already setting up and unpacking the groceries in the kitchen.
You, Jungkook and Taehyung get your luggage from the trunk and make your way inside. Mai makes sure to give you a little tour of the house while the others chat in the kitchen, showing you around the bottom and top floor to make sure you know where everything is. Once everyone has arrived at the house, the group gathers in the living room, getting comfortable to decide who's taking what room.
"We hope you all don't mind but Mai and I will be taking the master bedroom," Namjoon grins, already heading upstairs to take their luggage to their room, the one with a king-sized bed and a gorgeous view of the beach, leaving everyone else to decide on their rooms. Seokjin and Jisoo get the second biggest bedroom, the one upstairs with a queen-sized bed and a big tub in the en-suite. Hoseok suggests him and Yoongi share one of the bedrooms with two single beds, and he accepts, mainly because he could care less where he sleeps.
As everyone begins to pair off for the remainder of the rooms, the reality of the situation slowly starts to sink in. There are five people left, and only three more rooms.
"Jimin and I will share a room," Taehyung calls out, shooting Jungkook a look, subtly gesturing over to you with his eyes. He knows his friend wants to share a room with you, better yet, he knows his friend does not want to share a room with Hana.
"___, you're new to the group. You should get your own room," Mai suggests.
Dammit Mai.
Jungkook looks over at you, swallowing thickly at the thought of having to share the last room with Hana, who happens to be visibly pleased.
"I think that's a great idea!" Hana quips with a sly grin. "Kookie and I can share, and his friend can have her own room. I mean, who doesn't want their own room, right, ___?"
"Oh, uhhh..." You don't quite know what to say. You glance over at Jungkook, his eyes boring a hole through you, practically begging you to decline. You're a guest in Mai's family's home, so you should probably just take what you get, even if the thought of Jungkook and Hana sleeping in a bed together makes your stomach turn.
"Hana, why don't you take the single room instead?" Taehyung blurts out with a sickeningly sweet smile, causing Hana to whip her head in his direction. "___ is Jungkook's friend so I think it would only make sense for them to share a room. You said it yourself; who doesn't want their own room...right?"
Hana's eyes dart between you and Jungkook, her jaw clenching. She had clearly hoped to get a room with Jungkook in hopes of getting closer to him, but with everyone's expectant eyes on her, Taehyung leaves her no choice. She forces a smile and pretends to be thrilled about having her own room for these next three days.
"Yeah, perfect," she mutters through gritted teeth.
Jungkook keeps his expression schooled, even as his heart bangs against his ribcage. The two of you will be sharing a room. He shoots Taehyung a grateful smile, silently thanking his friend for doing what he couldn't do. Internally, he's ecstatic, but externally he remains nonchalant. He knows you still have your boundaries and your rules and all that, so he leans over to whisper in your ear from his seat on the arm of the couch, making sure no one else can hear. "Are you okay with this?"
You turn your head to look up at him, your heart racing at the thought of sharing a room with him for three days. You're not sure if it's nerves or excitement, but you nod and give him a faint smile. Some rules are meant to be broken on vacation anyway.
He mirrors your smile, his eyes having a hard time looking away from your face. "It's fine with us," he announces, standing up to grab your luggage and take it to the room.
You follow him to your room and gently close the door behind you, your eyes trailing over the double bed you'll be sharing. The room itself is quite spacious with a big window, allowing the late afternoon sea breeze to travel inside. There is an en-suite bathroom and a waterfall shower, but all you can think about is that bed and what might happen in it in the nights to come.
You both start unpacking, the room slowly starting to feel like your own, your skincare products placed neatly on the bathroom counter, your clothing hanging in the shared closet. You hang up the last of your clothing while Jungkook goes to sit at the edge of the bed, watching you with a faint smile on his face.
"You sure you're okay with us sharing a room? Because I can sleep on the couch in the living room if you-"
"Don't be ridiculous," you chuckle, walking over to stand between his thighs, your hands on your hips. "I'm not letting you sleep on the couch on vacation. You'd probably just end up complaining about a crick in your neck and I don't wanna have that on my conscience."
He lets out a huff of laughter, shaking his head in amusement. "I guess you're right, yeah."
His laughter dies down, his face softening into a smile, his big brown eyes staring up at you, his hands reaching out to trail up your thighs, his thumbs rubbing slow circles over the fabric of your leggings. "Seriously though, I don't want you to be uncomfortable."
"Jungkook, I'm okay."
"Can I get a kiss to prove it?" he whispers, staring up at you like he's been dying to ask since he picked you up from your apartment.
You let out a soft scoff and lean down to cup his face in your hands, leaning in to press a soft peck to his lips.
"Another one please," he whispers, his lips just millimetres from yours, his big brown eyes pleading as he stares up at you. You smile and close the gap, pressing another kiss to his lips, this one lasting slightly longer.
"One more."
"You're greedy."
"For you, yes."
You're about to respond, when there's a knock at the door, causing you to jolt up straight, backing away from him to avoid getting caught by any of his friends. "Come in!"
Jisoo peeks her head in, completely oblivious to the moment you had going on. "Hey, we're getting started on dinner, okay? It shouldn't be long."
"Thanks, Soo," Jungkook murmurs, standing up to subtly adjust his jeans, his back turned to her.
As soon as Jisoo leaves and the door closes, your eyes trail down to see Jungkook's situation, a little chuckle bubbling up your throat.
"Are you seriously hard from a few kisses?"
"Shut up, your kisses feel good, okay?" he mumbles, a faint pout on his lips.
You bite your lip to hold back the smile spreading across your face, his words sending a rush of pride through your chest. You glance over at the bathroom door before grabbing some underwear and a flowy dress from the closet to wear to dinner. "I'm gonna go take a shower before dinner, okay?"
"Yeah," he nods, his eyes growing wide as you turn around and press one last kiss to his lips before disappearing into the en-suite, the bathroom door shutting behind you.
Jungkook plops down onto the bed with his arms splayed out, a big grin spread across his face as he stares up at the ceiling. A few kisses and he's putty in your hands.
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The smell of food fills your nose as you leave the room for dinner, the others coming in and out of the kitchen. Jisoo sets the table while Seokjin and Yoongi finish up on dinner, with the others hanging out in the living room. You want to make yourself useful in any way that you can, so you go to the kitchen to check if anyone needs any help.
"___, can you help me set the table?" Jisoo asks, handing you a few plates.
You get to work, placing a plate at each place setting while she adds the utensils and the glasses. She doesn't seem to talk much, which is quite the opposite of Mai, which is probably why they're best friends. They balance each other out. That seems to be the case for Jungkook's entire friend group. Each person has their person who seems to balance out their personality. Yoongi has Hoseok, Jisoo has Mai and Mai has Namjoon, and so on. This leaves you questioning who your person is. Maybe it's the man who can't seem to keep his big brown eyes off of you for more than a few seconds at a time as he attempts to stay focused on his conversation with Hoseok and Namjoon.
"You know," Jisoo murmurs, keeping her eyes down as she gently places the utensils next to each plate. "You must be really special for Jungkook to bring you around."
Her words puzzle you. "How so?"
She looks over at you, a soft smile spreading across her face. "You're the first woman Jungkook's ever introduced us to. Even if you are just his friend...you must be a very special friend."
You look down at the stack of plates in your hands, her words ringing through your head. "I suppose so..."
As if on cue, Jungkook walks into the dining room, slowly rounding the table to get to you, placing a gentle hand on your lower back. "Need any help?"
"I think we can manage," you murmur softly, looking up into his eyes.
Jisoo looks between the two of you with a knowing smile, leaving to get the salads from the kitchen. She knows that look, the way you look at him. It's the same look she used to give Seokjin in university, the look she still gives him even after three kids. She doesn't know you that well yet, but she has a sneaky suspicion she'll be seeing a lot more of you.
Everyone eventually sits down for dinner, Jungkook sitting on your left and Mai on your right. The atmosphere around the table is bubbly, everyone chatting and discussing their plans for the next two days in Jeju.
"We're so playing volleyball tomorrow," Hoseok announces. "Everyone in?"
"Soo and I will be sitting this one out," Seokjin murmurs with an apologetic smile.
"Boooo!" Jimin teases, rolling his eyes. "Hyung, c'mon!"
"Sorry, we're going for a walk," he shrugs.
"A walk?" Namjoon scoffs. "Is that code for sex?"
Seokjin lets out a hearty laugh, giving Namjoon an exasperated look. "You try having three kids. Cut us some slack!"
"Okay, so Jin and Jisoo are out," Hoseok says, rolling his eyes at the couple who don't seem to care, Jisoo placing a soft kiss on her husband's cheek.
"Me too," Yoongi murmurs, chewing on some of the samgyeopsal. "I wanna catch up on some reading."
Hoseok scoffs, muttering a teasing, "Get a load of Stephen Hawking over here".
"I'm in," Jimin calls out. "I still have to kick your ass for the last volleyball game."
"Yeah, me too. I can't believe we lost to Hobi," Taehyung sighs, shaking his head. "Kook?"
"I'm still deciding," Jungkook murmurs with a faint grin, taking a sip of his beer. His response is mostly just to tease Hoseok.
You look over at him, then over at Hoseok, who seems to be waiting for your verdict. "I'm in."
"See, I knew I liked you, ___," Hoseok smiles. "Kook, why didn't you bring her around sooner? I'm already starting to like her more than you."
Jungkook doesn't protest. He simply glances over at you with a soft smile on his face, watching as you talk to his friends. It feels so natural to have you here, like you're a puzzle piece that's been missing all this time. You just fit.
All throughout dinner, he finds little ways to maintain contact with you. He touches your thigh under the table, he rests his arm over the back of your chair, he lazily plays with the ends of your hair while you make conversation with Taehyung about work. It's his subtle way of showing his affection without outright saying what he feels.
After dinner, his friends decide to sit around the patio and roast some marshmallows on the fire that Seokjin lit. Hana chose to go to her room with the excuse of not feeling too well so that she doesn't have to tell the truth, which is that she would rather bang her head against a wall than sit and watch Jungkook make heart eyes at you for another second.
Everyone else gets cozy outside. The sun has already set, the moon and stars illuminating the seaside while the waves crash in the distance. You sit next to Jungkook on one of the patio loveseats, the fire crackling as he holds out a charred marshmallow on a skewer.
"Mai, is everything finalised for the wedding?" Jisoo asks, snuggling up to Seokjin under a thick blanket on one of the other loveseats.
"I have my final dress fitting next week and the venue is stunning! We can't wait for you guys to see it," Mai gushes, her eyes sparkling as she talks about her wedding. "We're really excited."
"Damn, the second couple in our friend group is getting married," Yoongi sighs. "We're getting old."
"Speak for yourself," Taehyung scoffs, playfully elbowing his friend.
"Weddings are always so exciting," Jisoo sighs blissfully. "I remember how happy I was at our wedding. I think that was honestly the happiest day of my life...and when the boys were born of course," she chuckles.
You stare down at the fire burning away, your eyes slightly glossy as you zone in on the low flames. Wedding-talk always gets you a bit choked up, but the last thing you want to do is take away from Mai and Namjoon's moment, so you blink away the moisture building in your eyes and swallow the lump in your throat.
Of course Jungkook notices. He can sense something is wrong by the way your shoulders tense up, the way your eyes remain fixed on the fire. He doesn't want to draw any attention to you, so he leans closer, keeping his voice down. "Hey, everything okay?" he whispers, gently snaking an arm around your waist.
You snap out of your daze to look at him, inhaling sharply, the cool evening breeze working fast to dry your eyes. "Mhm," you nod, looking out at the ocean in the distance. "I'm fine, just...a bit tired."
"You wanna head inside?"
"No, I'm fine."
He doesn't push. He takes your word for it, even though he knows you're anything but fine. He knows you won't tell him what's on your mind, so he lets it go and gently squeezes your waist through the fabric of your dress, a simple way of saying that he's here for you through whatever it is that seems to be bothering you.
"Hey, she was hot!" Jimin exclaims exasperatedly.
"She threatened to hit you with her car," Namjoon laughs.
The conversation seems to have taken a different turn while you and Jungkook got distracted, his friends reminiscing about their failed relationships. Namjoon and Mai's upcoming wedding has them all thinking about their own love lives, some a bit less significant than others.
"What can I say, I like my girls with a touch of psycho," Jimin laughs, earning an amused snort from Taehyung.
"Hey, remember that woman Kook told us about a few years ago who was apparently sooo gorgeous," Hoseok chuckles. "What ever happened to her, man?"
"Yeah, you never told us her name," Yoongi chimes in, giving Jungkook a puzzled look. "You went on and on about how smart and-"
Jungkook clears his throat loudly, subtly signaling for them to 'zip it', his eyes briefly flickering over to you before you even catch it. "She died," he deadpans, earning a loud laugh from Hoseok.
"You're so full of bullshit," he laughs, shaking his head. He would never laugh at something so tragic, but come on. It's so obvious Jungkook just wants this topic to end.
You glance over at him, seeing the way he looks down at the wooden patio floor, his cheeks flushed. You wonder who they're talking about and why you've never heard him talk about this "gorgeous" woman before. You don't want to ask him about it. You don't want to know. Or do you? You feel weird. It's like you're...jealous or something. You're not jealous, that's ridiculous. It's just curiosity. And possibly acid reflux. Well, good for her, whoever she is.
Jungkook lets out a silent sigh of relief when the guys don't question him any further, the topic changing to something else, something you don't really take notice of because you're still too busy wondering who this woman is, or was. Maybe another professor at work? Or maybe she was a neighbour, or even just someone in passing, like a cashier at the grocery store or a waitress at a restaurant.
You're so busy wondering who it could be, you don't even realize you're shivering until he mentions it. "Are you cold?"
"A little," you murmur, rubbing your arms, feeling the goosebumps that have risen.
"I'll go get you a blanket. I'll be right back."
You watch as he gets up and goes inside the house to get you a blanket, your eyes following behind him even when he's out of your line of sight. Mai notices and scoots closer.
"Are you thinking about what Hobi said? About the woman Jungkook wouldn't stop talking about?"
"What?" Your eyebrows raise in faux surprise. "No, why would I be thinking about that?"
Mai smiles, seeing right through your lie. "Okay, well...just so you know...if Hobi actually paid enough attention, he'd remember that Jungkook went on and on about the gorgeous political science professor he met at work...but you didn't hear that from me," she whispers, playfully zipping her lips.
Mai's words make you freeze in your spot, your lips parting, the lightbulb going off in your brain. You know he finds you attractive. Obviously, he's having sex with you, for God's sake. But hearing that he spoke to his friends about you all those years ago when you first met...it feels different. It has a different connotation. You don't speak about a friend like that, do you? Well, you're not just friends, but you're not his either. Being his is a concept you've noticed reoccurring in your head a lot lately, but one you have yet to acknowledge. It's scary to think about. Being his doesn't feel scary, but the thought of being vulnerable enough to lay yourself out there to be hurt is scary.
You're snapped back to reality when Jungkook returns and sits down next to you, gently draping a warm blanket around your shoulders, an even warmer smile on his face.
"Better?" he whispers.
"Better," you whisper.
That look on his face. It makes everything feel less scary. It makes your heart beat faster and your stomach feel all tingly. It's a look you've grown accustomed to. It's a feeling you've started growing accustomed to.
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The evening slowly draws to a close and everyone starts saying their goodnights, going off to their rooms. Jungkook goes to your room and you're about to join him but you're stopped by Mai in the hallway.
"Hey," she whispers. "Please don't tell Jungkook I told you about the whole 'gorgeous professor' thing. He'd probably kill me."
You chuckle, storing the information in a locked safe in your brain. "I won't say anything."
"Okay. I just don't want him to think I'm meddling, y'know."
"There's nothing to meddle in, Mai. We're just-"
"Friends...right," she chuckles, nodding in understanding, even though her facial expression tells you she still doesn't believe you. She knows there's more to the story. The chemistry between you and Jungkook is too strong to be just friends.
"Don't give me that look."
"What look? There's no look," she laughs.
"There so is a look," you chuckle, shaking your head.
"I'm just saying...I'm not trying to pry, I just...l kinda have a feeling there's more going on. There's a whole vibe between you two."
"The 'vibe' is called friendship," you deadpan.
At this point you aren't sure if you're trying to convince Mai or yourself, but it's a habit at this point to deny any romantic connection between you and Jungkook. It saves you from answering a million questions.
"Okay, okay. If you say so, I believe you," she chuckles, holding her hands up in surrender. "I'll let you go before your 'friend' starts looking for you," she teases, biding you goodnight before going upstairs to join Namjoon in the master bedroom.
You make your way into your room and close the door behind you, finding Jungkook sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for you. "Hey."
"Hey yourself," he murmurs with a soft smile, holding his arms out as you make your way over to him, his hands sliding up to hold onto your waist, his eyes looking up at you. There isn't too much light in the room except for the bedside light and the moonlight streaming in through the large window.
"What were you and Mai talking about out there?"
"Girl stuff, I can't tell you," you tease, you lips curling into a grin.
Jungkook playfully rolls his eyes, a smile playing on his lips. "Oh, girl stuff, huh? So secret and exclusive," he murmurs with a mock pout.
"Yeah, it's confidential. Sorry," you chuckle, reaching out to gently run your fingers through his hair.
"Not even a hint? C'mon, baby..."
"My lips are sealed, Jeon."
Jungkook tilts his head back to look up at you properly, a hint of yearning in his gaze. He can barely focus on your words when you look so pretty standing before him. He can't wait to break in the bed with you, but he'll remain patient for now.
"Yeah?" he grins, biting his bottom lip. "Maybe I could get you to open them, hm?"
"Behave yourself," you whisper, your eyes slowly trailing down to his lips and back up. "Your friends are just down the hall."
"So? Let them hear us, I don't care."
You have to mentally remind yourself that you're not alone and that you don't want his friends hearing the things the two of you get up to behind closed doors. You muster up your strength to pull away from him, feeling like a magnet resisting his pull.
"You're crazy. I'm gonna go get ready for bed." You go to get your pyjamas from the closet and make your way to the bathroom, closing the door behind you.
Jungkook waits for you while you change, chewing on his bottom lip as he stares at the bathroom door. He slowly removes his shirt and his shoes, leaning back on his hands. He looks up as you emerge from the bathroom, standing in the open doorframe, your face glowing from the serum you used, your toothbrush in your mouth. He sees the way your eyes trail down his bare chest, the way your pupils dilate ever so subtly.
"You look cute," he murmurs with a lazy grin, his head tilted to the side as he watches you from the bed.
"Don't I always?" you tease, spitting the toothpaste foam into the sink before rinsing your mouth and walking out of the bathroom.
"Yes, but...I like you like this, in your cute pyjamas, your hair up, bare-faced," he murmurs, getting up from the bed to make his way over to you. He stands behind you at the sink, his hands trailing around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder.
"You gonna let me take these cute pyjamas off you?" he whispers. "I'll do that thing you like with my tongue."
His words go straight to your core, a faint blush spreading across your cheeks. You turn around to face him, your hands resting upon his bare chest as you look up into his eyes.
"What do you say? You wanna break in the bed?"
You look up into his eyes, your heart telling you to give in and let him do whatever he wants with you, your brain telling you that the walls are thin, that it's risky. Taehyung and Jimin's room is right next door, and if you can hear their muffled conversation, they'll be able to hear all the things Jungkook so badly wants to do to you.
"Maybe we should...wait...until we get back home..."
His brows furrow in confusion. That's not what he was expecting.
"Wait, what? Why?"
"Your friends could hear us."
"___, I meant what I said. I don't care if they hear us."
"But I care," you whisper, gently cupping his cheeks in your hands. "I just...I don't think we should risk it."
He sighs, but he understands why you're hesitant. He already let it slip to Taehyung that you're hooking up, breaking his promise of keeping it between the two of you. He doesn't want the rest of his friends finding out, especially not by hearing the two of you have sex. It would just bring about a million questions that he himself does not have the answers to.
"Okay. I understand," he sighs, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. "I'll just take a quick shower and get ready for bed."
He closes the bathroom door once you leave, but he doesn't lock it. A part of him wants you to walk back in and tell him that you changed your mind. He wants you to stop worrying so much and just let him love you the way he wants to. When he stands under the hot stream of water and lathers himself in his body wash, he wishes you were in there with him, letting him lather your body as well. He wishes you'd allow yourself to be taken care of. Sure he takes care of your sexual needs, but who runs you a nice warm bath after you've had a stressful day at work? Who makes you soup when you're sick or holds you in the middle of the night when you're having a bad dream? He could be that person for you if you'd just let him.
He wants to say 'fuck it' and change your mind, convince you to just let loose of the reins for a bit, but when he opens the bathroom door and finds you laying on your back in bed, with tired eyes and a soft smile on your face, all he really wants is to just lay by your side. He doesn't need the sex. A simple touch of your hand on his cheek is enough for him if it means he gets to be close to you.
He gets in bed, propping his head up on his hand, his eyes looking down at you. His hand snakes around to the side of your waist, keeping his grip gentle. "Those eyes look heavy. I thought people are supposed to stay up late on vacation."
"Yeah, when you're twenty-one. I'm not twenty-one anymore," you mumble through a soft chuckle, your sleepy eyes gazing up at him.
"Right, I forgot you're sixty-three with a hip replacement."
You let out a huff of laughter, the sound bringing a wide grin to his face. As your laughter dies down, you notice the way he looks at you, as if he's hypnotised by you.
"What?"
Jungkook's lips curl into a little smile when he realises he's been caught staring. "What?" he echoes, playing coy. "Can't I just admire a good-looking view?" he quips, his tone light and playful.
"I suppose I can't blame you," you murmur, your grin turning a bit more playful. "I'd stare too if I were you."
"Oh, you're so modest, aren't you?" He scoffs.
You chuckle, your eyes fluttering closed, and Jungkook's heart swells in his chest. Your smile is so soft, so genuine, it's infectious. He can't tear his eyes away from you, the way your lashes lay gently against your cheeks, the way your lips curve up at the edges. He reaches out without thinking, gently brushing a stray lock of hair away from your face, his touch light and tentative.
"___," he whispers.
"Yeah?"
There's a moment of utter silence before he speaks, his voice soft and delicate.
"You're an incredibly beautiful woman."
Suddenly, words are lost on you. You can't seem to find a response that would appropriately correlate with the way his words make you feel, so you show him instead. You lean in and press a gentle, tender kiss to his lips, your hand reaching up to cup the side of his jaw. It's slow and soft, and it steals his breath for a second. When you pull away, his eyes look slightly dreamy and his smile looks a bit dazed.
"Can we make that a regular thing?"
"What?"
"I mean...can we forget about the whole no kissing outside of sex thing? I just wanna kiss you...whenever it feels right..."
You pause, contemplating his words. You can't lie and say that you don't want that, because lord knows you do.
"We'll see," you whisper, smiling as you lean in for another kiss, and then another.
He knows what that smile means. It means you want it too, you're just too damn stubborn to outright admit it, as if him kissing you is so scandalous. He doesn't care, your unclear answer doesn't upset him. The way your lips can't seem to stray from his for longer than a few seconds tells him everything he needs to know.
"We'll see, huh?" He smiles, wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you closer to him, rolling onto his back with your body halfway on top of him. He enjoys the simple intimacy of just having your head on his chest, his fingers languidly running through your hair.
"Yeah, we'll see," you whisper, laying your head down on his chest, where it remains for the rest of the night.
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You're very cautious about cuddling. You don't cuddle after sex, and don't usually cuddle outside of sex either. Your heart is far too weak for that and you know that one good cuddle from the right man will have you throwing all your rules out the window, so when you wake up and that man isn't cuddling you like you had secretly hoped he would, you're met with disappointment.
You slowly open your eyes, blinking in the bright morning light that streams through the large window, the sea air drifting through your nose. As you come to, you notice that the other side of the bed is empty. Your thoughts linger on the person who is supposed to be on the other side of the bed, and you find yourself missing him, yearning to see his face, his fluffy hair, his pretty eyes. You slowly push yourself up into a sitting position, contemplating getting out of bed to find him.
Just as you're about to get up, however, the door to the bedroom opens and Jungkook walks in, carrying two mugs of coffee. As soon as his eyes land on you in bed, his face lights up with a smile.
"You're awake," he murmurs, his voice still a little groggy from sleep. He walks over to the bed and hands you one of the mugs.
"You went to get me coffee?" You still feel a bit groggy as you look down at the mug in your hand, smelling the delicious aroma.
"Of course," he smiles, sliding onto the edge of the bed beside you. "I figured you might need some caffeine to fully wake up."
Jungkook watches as you take a tentative sip of the coffee, enjoying the feeling of seeing you this early in the morning, still so sleepy, your hair a little messy, your lips slightly swollen, your cheeks flushed. He cherishes these moments, seeing you so vulnerable and unguarded in the morning. It's a side of you that he rarely gets to see, and he'll never take it for granted.
"Once you finish that, you have to get up because we're heading down to the beach around 9:30-ish."
"Damn...Hoseok really takes his volleyball seriously, huh?"
"He does," he chuckles, shaking his head in amusement. "I'm gonna go get ready while you have your coffee."
He rounds the bed to get to his suitcase, pulling out his swimming shorts before making his way to the bathroom to change, giving you a moment to yourself.
You find yourself missing his presence as soon as the bathroom door closes, which is odd. You're not a clingy person. You like your space. You don't like spending every minute of every day with someone. Yet, here you are, impatiently waiting for his return after a simple trip to the bathroom to change. Maybe it's because you know that when he walks out of that bathroom, he'll be wearing half the amount of clothing he wore going in, or maybe your impatience is your body going through withdrawals after asking him to withold sex until you get home, which you think you're starting to regret.
You don't know what's going on with you lately. First, last night's jealousy at the thought of Jungkook finding another woman attractive (and the immediate relief when said woman turned out to be you), then the cuddling in bed, and then the disappointment of not waking up in his arms this morning.
It's not long before the bathroom door opens and he walks out in all his glory, his torso bare and toned, his shorts adorning his hips. A fresh cup of coffee and a nice view of a very attractive, half-naked man all within twenty minutes of waking up is surely a good way to start the day.
His presence alone is confirmation that you definitely regret asking him to withhold sex until you get home. It's confirmation that you were jealous last night, and that you were disappointed when he wasn't in bed with you when you woke up this morning.
"Actually, uh..." He stops in his tracks, his attention back on you. "You guys go and I'll meet you at the beach in a little bit."
"Are you sure?" He tilts his head in confusion.
"Yeah, you go, I'll be down in a bit."
He's hesitant to leave, having planned on going together, but he assumes you just want to catch up on a few more minutes of rest. "Okay...I'll see you down there," he murmurs with a smile before making his way out to join the others.
You set your coffee down on the nightstand and plop back down on the bed, your eyes staring up at the ceiling. You have so much going on in your head and your heart, and the two won't stop butting heads. You know this feeling. You know what love feels like. You've been there before, and you didn't like how it ended, which is exactly why you locked the big padlock on your heart and threw away the key. Yet, when you close your eyes and Jungkook's face pops up in your head, and his voice rings through your ears, a soft smile works its way onto your face.
When you're with him, you just want to kiss his cheek and listen to him ramble on and on about international trade and supply and demand. You want to suck his dick, then hold his hand and tell him how smart, and kind, and pretty he is. Oh how pretty he is. You want to partake in all of his nerdy interests with him and ask him questions about it just to see him get excited.
You threw that damn key away and you thought you'd never need it again, but somehow, Jungkook must have stumbled upon it and picked it up because it seems to be in his possession.
You can't stay here and let your thoughts run wild any longer. You have to get out of this room and get down to that beach.
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It's still quite early yet the sun is already scorching, the sand warm and toasty beneath your feet. The smell of salty air and sunscreen fills your senses, a perfect combination for a summer day. You spot Mai in her cute bikini, tanning on the sand, so you make your way over to her while some of the others set up a volleyball net, Hoseok and Namjoon's excited chattering echoing in the distance.
"Wooow, hot mama," Mai hoots, her chin resting in her palm while she tans her back, her sunglasses pushed up to the top of her head. The 'hotness' she's referring to might be the red bikini adorning your body, the red bikini you picked out with Jungkook's reaction in mind...but who knows for sure?
"Speak for yourself," you chuckle, laying down beside her, the sun beating down on your back. "I bet Namjoon loves that bikini, huh?"
"Honey, he'll be taking this bikini off of me later," she cackles, shooting a flirty wave over to her fiancé in the distance.
Namjoon's eyes aren't the only ones occupied. Jungkook can't help but stare, his eyes hungrily raking over your form. He's supposed to be partaking in a conversation with Taehyung and Jimin, but he's so distracted, his thoughts consumed by the sight of you in that bikini, his gaze firmly planted to your smooth skin, the roundness of your ass, those legs. It hasn't even been a full 24 hours yet and the lack of sex is already proving to be rather difficult.
"What're you guys talking about?" There's that damn nagging voice, Hana joining their conversation, the conversation Jungkook couldn't care less about right now.
"Jimin and I were talking about what we'd do if we were the only people left on earth," Taehyung quips. "And Jungkook appears to no longer be with us."
Jungkook lets out a scoff, shaking his head in amusement, his eyes still glued to you while you converse with Mai in the distance.
Hana follows his line of sight and subtly rolls her eyes, letting out a soft sigh of frustration. "Kookie, what would you do if you and I were the only people left on earth?"
"Probably buy a gun," he mutters under his breath before walking off in your direction, leaving behind two highly amused friends and an offended Hana.
He makes his way over, sitting down next to you without a word, both of your faces turning into a grin at the mere proximity. "Hey ladies," he murmurs, getting comfortable while a few of the guys play a practice round of volleyball.
"Kook," Mai nods in acknowledgement, her eyes shifting to the water ahead. "I was just saying how hot your friend is."
"Mm, she's okay, I guess," he shrugs with a teasing grin, leaning back on his hands.
"I'm right here you know," you scoff.
"Trust me, I see you."
You're lucky Mai's eyes are on the water a few feet away, because if she were to turn her head and look at Jungkook, she'd see his hand trailing up your thigh, giving your asscheek a quick squeeze before you silently swat it away, a bashful smile on your face. You turn your head to him to mouth a silent 'stop' but he simply shoots you a mischievous wink.
That face paired with that wink gets you, and you might have let him continue if Hoseok hadn't called everyone to start the game of volleyball.
Everyone gathers and divides into two teams on opposite sides of the net, the air already filled with playful bickering and competitive banter. Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin and you are on one side, while Namjoon, Mai, Hoseok and Hana are on the other.
The game begins and the competitive spirit sparks, everyone focused on their team winning. When you agreed to play, you didn't expect the game to be so intense, full of spikes, blocks and a few dives. You especially didn't expect to bond this well with his friends, the group making you feel like you've known them for years. You share high-fives and amusing words with his friends every time something exciting happens, feeling the synergy in the air.
Jungkook watches you as you run across the sand to get to the ball, admiring your agility. You certainly make a good team, sharing a bit of a competitive streak. The two of you work together to score against the other team in a tough back and forth, your excitement too much to contain when Namjoon fumbles the ball on their side of the net.
The point given to your team is shoved to the back of your mind when Jungkook rushes over to wrap his arms around your waist, spinning you off your feet. The adrenaline mixed with the contact of his skin on yours sends a dizzying, electrifying feeling through your body. The two of you laugh and cheer while Taehyung and Jimin shout taunts at the other team, the others playfully 'boo'ing and rolling their eyes.
Hana feels her face heat up in a simmering rage of jealousy and frustration, her eyes narrowing as she watches the two of you, the flirty undertones, his winks every time you score, the bashful smiles all starting to grate at her.
"Not fair, ___'s good! I want her on our team," Hana calls out, clearly up to something.
"But-" Jimin is about to protest but she's already made up her mind.
"___, why don't you swap with Hobi for the rest of the game."
"Wha- hey! I thought I was good," Hoseok laughs.
Hana's tone is just a little too sweet. You can feel the shift in her demeanour, and you know it's not just about the game anymore. You glance over at Jungkook, seeing the crease between his eyebrows, the tension in his jaw. It's clear that he is not happy.
"No way, ___'s our star player," Taehyung calls out, playfully nudging your arm, oblivious to the underlying tension.
Hana doesn't back down, her smile turning sly. "Oh whatever, don't be so greedy," she chides, her voice sickly sweet. "Come on, ___."
You don't want to reject her in front of everyone, so you offer her a weak smile, feeling put on the spot. "Sure," you mutter, reluctantly swapping places with Hoseok. You shoot Jungkook a confused look, his expression mirroring yours.
The game starts back up, but Jungkook is still suspicious of her intentions. He knows what she's like, and he can practically see the gears turning in her head.
The game goes on, everyone playing as normal, the vibes more or less okay, until they aren't. Jimin hits the ball in your direction and you run a few quick steps to reach it, when suddenly there's a foot blocking your way, sending you tumbling to the ground, your body landing in the sand, your ankle taking a bit of a beating.
"Oh shit, ___, I'm sorry," Hana gasps, the emotion in her voice not reaching her face. Everyone looks concerned, worried looks crossing their faces.
Jungkook reacts within seconds, sprinting over to you as soon as you hit the sand, his heart racing in his chest, his eyes wide with worry. He crouches down to check on you, his hands gentle as he inspects you for any injuries. "Are you okay? Does anything hurt?"
You look up at his face, seeing the genuine worry in his eyes. "My ankle hurts a bit but-"
Before you can get your sentence out, he's already checking your ankle, looking like a first aider who desperately wants a raise.
"It's fine, really, it's nothing to worry about."
He looks into your eyes, his movements coming to a halt, his chest rising and falling from rushing over to you. He doesn't care that his friends are watching, he doesn't care that his feelings are as clear as day. All he cares about right now is you and your ankle.
"You're sure?"
You nod, slowly getting up. You take a step, but your ankle is tender, causing you to hiss and stumble. Jungkook reaches out to steady you, his hands holding onto your waist, his grip firm.
"___, I think you should rest your ankle, honey," Mai murmurs with a sympathetic smile.
"Yeah, maybe put some ice on it," Namjoon nods, looking concerned.
"I'm sorry. It was an accident," Hana pipes up, a faint, apologetic smile on her face. The apology is almost as fake as her nose.
Jungkook's eyes narrow when he looks over at her, his anger showing clearly on his face. A muscle in his jaw twitches as he bites back a response. As much as he wants to lash out at her for purposefully hurting you, he holds his tongue, not giving her the attention she wants.
"I'm gonna go take her back to the house to get some ice on her ankle," he says, his tone brokering no argument. "You all can continue playing." The rest of the group nods in agreement, their faces filled with sympathy and concern. Hana stays silent.
Your injury really isn't that serious for you to not be able to walk, just causing a little limp, but when Jungkook decides you need to be carried bridal style, you don't protest. You actually have to hold back a giggle when his arm muscles flex as he carries you, quickly composing yourself.
He cradles you against his chest as he takes you back to the house, his grip on you firm but gentle. Once you reach the house, he sets you down on the couch, propping up your ankle with a pillow. He disappears into the kitchen, returning moments later with an ice pack, which he gently applies to your ankle. He takes a seat on the edge of the couch, his eyes fixed on your face, studying your expression for any signs of pain or discomfort.
He notices the small hiss that escapes your lips, his gaze softening as he looks at you, his hand resting on the ice pack, keeping it in place. "Does it hurt?"
"It's just really cold," you chuckle, looking down at the ice pack.
"Cold is better than pain, right?"
"Yeah, cold is better than pain," you smile.
You feel him remove the ice pack, watching him inspect your ankle with so much care, so much tenderness. Seeing him run over as soon as you got hurt, having him take care of you like this...it's a glimpse of the care you haven't allowed yourself to indulge in for a long time.
"Thank you," you whisper as you look up into his eyes, your body language a bit more vulnerable.
His gaze is soft, his expression filled with a tenderness that matches his touch. "Of course."
There's a moment, just a brief one, where time seems to still, his eyes holding yours, the space between you feeling almost electrified with a quiet intimacy.
"You got over there pretty fast," you murmur softly.
"Of course, I was worried about you."
He leans in, his face inching closer to yours, his fingers gently brushing some of your hair out of your face before he cups your cheek in his palm. "I don't ever want to see you hurt...no matter how minor..."
"I'm okay," you whisper, a faint smile on your lips, your nose just barely brushing against his.
"How's the pain?"
"What pain?"
He rolls his eyes, a small huff of amusement leaving his lips. "I'm serious," he whispers, a hint of a smile on his face, his thumb stroking your cheek. "You're sure it's okay?"
"I'm sure." You voice is soft, and the kiss he presses to your lips is even softer, your mouths moving in sync. Your lips might not be able to say everything you're feeling, but the kiss sure does. It's a silent confession that he cares for you and you care for him, more deeply than either of you can put into words.
He pulls back ever so slightly, his forehead resting against yours, his eyes still closed after that kiss, but the sound of the guys returning from the beach is like a cold shower, both of you suddenly pulled back into reality, the moment between you interrupted.
He holds the ice pack firmly against your ankle but his eyes are on your face, trying to read your expression, trying to find even a hint of what you're thinking or feeling. His heart is racing, but he forces himself to appear calm, to mask the flurry of emotions he's going through.
The guys burst through the door, their voices loud and full of laughter, a stark contrast to the quiet and charged atmosphere between you and Jungkook. They're blissfully oblivious to what they've interrupted, their brains still on the beach. They all make sure to check if you're okay, the attention thankfully on your ankle and not on Jungkook's and your flushed cheeks and flustered faces.
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It's around 7pm when you find yourself on the patio, curled up on one of the loveseats, listening to Mai and Jisoo discuss wedding preparations. The sun is halfway set along the horizon, casting pretty pink and orange hues across the sky.
Some of the others have already retired to their rooms, probably knocked out after eating the mountain of dumplings Yoongi made for dinner. You had contemplated speaking to Hana about what happened on the beach, but you ultimately decided against it. You know that her intention was to hurt you, but you're an adult and you refuse to indulge in her petty games.
"Are you stressed out? I know I was when I was getting married," Jisoo chuckles, taking a sip of her tea as she curls up one of the patio sofas.
"Big time," Mai sighs. "Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited to finally marry Joon, but wedding planning is a lot more stressful than I thought it would be."
You listen as Mai vents, going on about the caterers, and the venue, and the dress. You're a part of the conversation, but you shift in and out of being emotionally present. Your eyes drift off into the distance, staring out at the water with a distant look on your face, the pain in your ankle long forgotten.
"Joon and I even got into an argument last month because we went over budget...or, well, I went over budget," she scoffs.
"That's normal," Jisoo shrugs, giving her a reassuring smile. "Jin and I had a few arguments throughout the planning. I get it. As long as you don't let the stress come between you."
You might be here physically, but mentally, you've checked out. It's as if your thoughts have grown legs and ran off on their own, taunting you with Jisoo's words.
As long as you don't let the stress come between you.
Jisoo's words take you back to that time in your life, when you thought your life was perfect. It was perfect. You had the man of your dreams, a ring, and the promise of a long life together. Then you 'let the stress come between you'. At least that was Sunghoon's excuse for having sex with a friend of yours. He told you he was stressed out and the wedding planning just became too much for him, and you were always studying for your masters, never giving him the attention he deserved.
It's a strange thing, grieving. To grieve, not a person, but rather a bond that you spent years building with a person, is a feeling you can't quite explain. Grieving the loss of a relationship is not linear. The sadness and the anger come and go. Some days you're completely fine, laughing and going out, feeling like yourself again. Some days you're on your bedroom floor, crying as you clutch onto the wedding dress you never got the wear. You grieve Sunghoon, not because he died, but because that boy you fell for at sixteen no longer exists.
You envy Mai and Namjoon's relationship. It's clear how much they love each other, how much he loves her. It's clear how much he values and respects her, how his eyes don't prioritize anything that isn't her, how kind and gentle he is with her. It's a reminder of the love you once had. The love that was crumpled up and thrown in your face on a random Tuesday evening.
You have to excuse yourself when the feeling starts to get a bit too much, all this wedding-talk making your eyes sting. You go down to the beach, the sand feeling rough beneath your feet, the air much colder now that the sun is fully set. You sit down with your knees held to your chest, your eyes looking out at the water, the waves crashing loudly. It's what your brain sounds like. So, so loud. It's overwhelming and the lump in your throat is starting to hurt.
Then there's a voice behind you and it's like everything goes still, your thoughts finally quieting down.
"There you are," he murmurs, his voice soft and gentle, the sound enough to warm you up in the cold breeze. "Mai and Jisoo said you were out here."
You don't respond, your heart feeling a little lighter when he sits down next to you, his eyes trailing from the water to your face.
"Why are you out here alone, hm?"
"Just...needed some air."
"There's air in the house too, you know."
A faint smile flashes across your face before it fades, your eyes trained straight ahead of you. "It's better to think out here."
"I suppose that's true."
He looks over at you, sensing the sadness in your eyes, in your demeanour. He doesn't know what it is, but he wants to protect you from it. It might be greedy of him, but he wants to pick apart your brain and understand exactly what it is that's burdening you. He wants to know your past, your fears, your regrets. He doesn't want to push, but he wants to be let in.
"___, what's making you so sad?"
You scoff humourlessly. "What makes you think I'm sad?"
"Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Don't hide from me," he murmurs, looking at you with so much tenderness. "I can't force you to tell me what's bothering you...but I know it's not nothing."
"You think you've got me all figured out, huh?"
"Maybe."
He doesn't even know the half of it.
You stay silent, chewing on your bottom lip. You can't lie to him, and that kinda scares you. It scares you that you feel so strongly for him, strong enough to want to completely bare your soul for him.
"Listening to Mai and Jisoo talk about the wedding...it reminded me of..."
He doesn't rush you. He lets you take your time, holding his breath as he waits, sensing you want to open up about whatever it is that's weighing so heavily on your shoulders.
"It reminded me of a love I lost years ago..."
He isn't sure exactly what he feels. A part of him is relieved that you're finally letting him in, finally showing him this vulnerability. It's all he's ever wanted, yet the thought of a man hurting you, a man who once had the privilege of loving you (the privilege he so desperately longs for) and still throwing that away...it makes his head spin. This is the first time he's heard of you being with anyone in the past, and it reminds him of how little you've actually shared with him about yourself and your past.
"Do you...want to tell me about it?" He keeps his voice low, not wanting to speak too loudly in fear of scaring you away.
You take a deep breath before speaking.
"He was my first love...we met in high school. We were together for...a long time," you murmur, looking down at a vague spot in the sand. "And he cheated on me."
You don't tell him everything, just enough for him to get an understanding without sharing too much.
Your confession almost knocks the air out of his lungs, his brows furrowing, his eyes growing wide. He's angry. He's furious at the man who dared to betray you like that, he's confused why anyone would do something like that to a woman like you. He's sad, so terribly sad that you had to go through that. He can't imagine what that must have felt like, the pain you must have gone through. It pains him to think about you ever being hurt like that.
"___, I'm so sorry," he whispers, slowly inching closer to you.
"Don't be," you murmur, the faint smile on your lips not quite reaching your eyes. "It was a long time ago."
"That doesn't change the fact that it was wrong. ___, you deserve...everything. You deserve someone who wakes up everyday and feels blessed to have you, who would go to the ends of the earth for you..."
There's a pause, the air feeling thick.
"You deserve a man who loves you with all his heart."
His words fade into a quiet whisper, as if he's just bared his deepest secrets. He looks at the side of your face, his heart pounding in his chest.
"___," he whispers, practically begging you to look at him.
Your gaze meets his, your eyes shining with a thin sheen of unshed tears. His words hold so much feeling, so much desperation.
"Yes?" It's almost too soft to reach his ears, your voice trembling.
He leans in, his face inching closer, his fingers gently brushing your hair behind your ear.
"If you were mine...really mine..." He takes a sharp inhale through his nose, his eyes boring into yours. "I'd never break your heart."
It's like a dam breaks.
You close the gap between you, pressing your lips to his, your eyes squeezing shut, a tear finally rolling down your cheek, quickly being brushed away by his thumb. You crawl into his lap, the kiss growing passionate, your fingers sliding up into his hair, gripping onto his strands to steady yourself. You feel everything and nothing and all that is in between.
You love him. You really do, and it took you four years of knowing him to admit it to yourself. It's scary and it's uncertain, but it's love and it's real and you can't keep running from it.
It makes you shiver, the overwhelming feeling mixed with the cold evening air.
"Are you cold?" He asks, pulling away to look into your eyes, his thumbs gently stroking your cheeks.
"A little."
"Why don't we get you in a nice warm shower?"
You know what his suggestion implies, and you can't deny yourself of the pleasures of loving him and letting him love you.
"Okay."
You get up and make your way back to the house. It's completely still, everyone else already in their rooms. Jungkook leads you to your room and shuts the door, locking it for good measure. He looks over at you, the two of you silently communicating that you want this. He crosses the room and takes your face in his hands, crashing his lips into yours.
You walk backwards to the en-suite, pulling away only for him to open the shower door and turn the water on, the hot water slowly filling the room with steam. He turns back to you, searching your eyes for any hesitation.
"Are you coming in with me?" Your voice gives away your desires, your eyes begging him to give you what you want.
"Do you want me to?"
"I do," you murmur, leaning in to press a few quick pecks to his lips. You pull away and hold your arms up, a faint smile playing on your lips.
He gets the hint and reaches for the hem of your top, slowly pulling it up over your head, with big smiles spread across both of your faces. He reaches behind you to undo your bra, slowly sliding the material down your shoulders, letting it fall to the ground as he presses soft kisses to your collarbones. He kisses down your body until he is kneeling before you, his eyes trailing up to your face. "God, you're gorgeous," he mutters softly, hooking his fingers into the sides of your pants, pulling the fabric down your legs.
He presses a gentle peck to your lower stomach beneath your belly button, sending a shiver down your spine. He slowly pulls your panties down, tossing it aside with the rest of your clothes.
He stands up straight and smiles as you start undressing him, pulling his shirt over his head before moving onto his pants and boxers, letting the clothing pool at his feet.
He presses his lips to yours and leads you into the shower, the warm water cascading down your bodies. You wrap your arms around his neck, playing with the wet hair at the base of his neck. "I thought we were waiting until we got home," he whispers, a smile tugging at his lips.
"I'm tired of waiting," you whisper, moaning as he kisses down your neck.
His hands slide over your body, the water making everything slick, his fingers tracing along your curves. He pulls your body against his, his mouth moving up your neck to your ear, where he takes your earlobe into his mouth. "I'm gonna make you feel so good...gonna make you forget all about that other asshole."
He gently presses you up against the shower wall, kissing a line down the side of your neck. He holds onto your waist to steady you while his other hand finds its way between your legs, running his middle finger through your folds.
"So wet, baby," he mumbles into your neck, his voice a low rumble.
He gathers some of your slick on his fingers and starts rubbing slow circles over your clit. You moan softly and tilt your head back against the wall, your fingers gripping his biceps. He makes sure you're wet enough before sliding a finger into your pussy, slowly thrusting it in and out.
"F-fuck," you moan, your eyes fluttering shut.
"That feel good, baby?"
You nod.
"Want another?"
"Mhmm," you sigh blissfully, feeling him insert a second finger, his lips and tongue attached to your neck.
He groans at the sound of your slick, his fingers moving in a 'come here' motion, pulling soft moans and sighs from your lips. "You like that?" he mumbles, his voice a little deeper, his breathing a little ragged.
"Y-yeah," you manage to breathe out, your eyes squeezing shut and your eyebrows furrowing as the pleasure builds. Your nails dig into his biceps when his fingers pick up the pace, the knot in your stomach starting to tighten.
"Gonna...c-cum..."
He smiles against your neck as starts rubbing circles over your clit with his thumb, his middle and ring finger moving faster. "Cum for me, baby."
Your muscles tense up as the knot unravels, your orgasm washing over you with a loud moan. He slows his fingers, helping you through it by easing the pressure on your clit. "You did so good for me," he whispers, pressing a kiss to your lips, his tongue licking into your mouth.
You hand trails down his abdomen until it reaches its destination, wrapping your fingers around his semi-hard cock. He moans into the kiss, slipping his fingers out of your pussy to grip your hips, needing something to ground him while you stroke his cock.
"Wanna make you feel good," you whisper into the kiss, trailing your lips down his chin and neck, moving lower until you're down on your knees in front of him.
He looks down at you with his bottom lip caught between his teeth, his stomach muscles tensing in anticipation. He slides his fingers through your wet hair, resting his free hand against the wall. He watches as you part your lips, his cock twitching in excitement.
"Gonna take it like a good girl?"
You nod up at him before pressing a teasing kiss to the tip, listening to the soft moan that falls from his lips. You start stroking the shaft, batting your eyelashes up at him.
"Fuck, that feels good," he sighs, taking hold of your chin, pushing his thumb into your mouth. He groans as you swirl your tongue around it, the way you would with his cock.
You suck on his thumb, making sure to hold eye contact while you stroke his cock, the tip already starting to leak a bit of pre-cum. Once you get him fully hard, you release his thumb from your mouth and replace it with his cock, feeling the delicious weight on your tongue.
He watches as you start sucking him, focusing your tongue on the head before taking him all the way to the back of your throat, pulling a deep groan from his throat. He fists his hand in your hair, letting out shaky breaths as the pleasure flows through him. You're a sight to see, with wet hair and a mouth full of cock.
He can't decide if he wants to cum down your throat or fuck you against the wall. He likes the sound of the latter.
"Baby...b-baby, stop," he mutters breathlessly, tugging at your hair to get you to release him from your mouth.
"What's wrong?"
"I need to be inside you," he breathes, helping you up before he slides his hands to the back of your thighs, lifting you up in one swift motion. "Need this pussy," he mutters, pressing you against the wall to grind his cock against your sopping folds.
You wrap your arms around his neck, moaning as he grinds into you, welcoming his lips against yours. He reaches down to align his cock with your entrance, slowly pushing into you with a guttural moan.
"F-fucking Christ, you feel so good," he groans, his fingers digging into your thighs as he starts thrusting into you, his cock filling you up like nothing and no one else can.
Having him inside you is something you'll never get tired of, his cock fitting in you like you were moulded just for him. You were made for him, and he was made for you. His thrusts make your head spin, the steam coming from the shower making everything feel more romantic, more intense.
"You're perfect," he sighs, his voice almost too quiet to hear if it weren't for the fact that his words are whispered directly into your ear. "So...so beautiful..."
All you can do in return is moan and whimper as his thrusts get deeper, the pleasure getting stronger. You lose all ability to form a coherent sentence, your eyes squeezing shut as he pounds into you. He slides his tongue into your mouth, gently digging his teeth into your bottom lip, giving it a little tug.
His thrusts start getting faster, sloppier, an indication of his impending high. Your own orgasm starts creeping closer, his cock hitting that special spot inside you that makes you turn to mush. "Oh my God, don't stop...so...so close..."
"Me too, baby...gonna cum s-so hard..."
He thrusts harder, hitting that same spot over and over again, his nails digging into your flesh. The coil in your stomach tightens, threatening to snap with each deep thrust. The air is thick with passion and desire, your body trembling in his hold, your moans bouncing off the wet bathroom walls.
"Fuck, I'm gonna cum," he groans deeply, holding onto your thigh while his free arm wraps around your waist, holding onto you like you're his oxygen supply. "Oh f-fuck, ___!"
A few sloppy thrusts and your walls start spasming around his cock, triggering his orgasm. He paints your walls with thick white ropes of pleasure, his arms clutching your body like you might disappear into thin air.
"Holy sh-shit," he sighs, both of you slowly coming down from your high, giving you a few slow thrusts before pulling out, letting his cum leak out of you.
You're completely spent, smiling like a giddy schoolgirl, your cheeks flushed, your heart hammering in your chest. The warm water runs over your bodies, slowly bringing your brain back down to earth. "Let's just stay like this for a little while," you whisper, cupping his cheeks in your hands before pressing a light kiss to his swollen lips.
"Okay," he smiles, pressing soft pecks over your cheeks, your nose, your chin. He brushes some of your wet hair out of your face, looking at you like you hung the stars in his sky.
He slowly puts you down and reaches for your body wash, lathering some on your loofah. You're about to take it from him but he stops you. "Let me."
You look up into his eyes, seeing how much this means to him. Sex is one thing, but what you do after says everything. He doesn't just want the sex, and neither do you. He doesn't want this moment to end here, and neither do you, so you let him lather your body in the fragrant body wash because this is about so much more than sex.
He washes you with so much care, making sure the soap reaches every inch of your body. The last man you let wash you after sex was Sunghoon, but with Jungkook it somehow feels different. His hands are softer, he touches you more gently, and his gaze travels down your body like you're a work of art and he is lucky enough to get to lay his eyes upon you. It's difficult to just forget about the past and the heartbreak, but in this moment with Jungkook, you want to try to take the steps to move forward.
You rinse yourself off under the hot stream of water before taking his loofah from the shower hook and lathering it with your body wash, returning the favour. You run the soapy loofah over his body, running your free hand over his muscles, a soft smile settling onto both of your faces. You run your hand over his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath the firm flesh. You lean in and press a soft kiss to the area, kissing all the way up to his lips.
The two of you stay like that for a while, just kissing under the warm water, the steam surrounding your bodies, partially blurring your vision. This level of intimacy feels so different and new to the two of you, and yet it feels so right, like you were always meant to be with him like this, like you were born to be loved by him.
You love him, and it feels like too big of a mouthful to say in this moment, too heavy on your tongue, too frightening for your brain to comprehend, so you keep it stored away for the time being. Admitting it to yourself is enough for now.
You stand kissing under the water until it starts turning cold, so you turn it off and step out. He dries you off with a fresh towel before moving onto himself, letting you dry his hair with your hairdryer. The two of you get ready for bed together, which again, is new for you. You stand next to him and brush your teeth, stealing glances at him in the mirror every chance you get.
You change into a t-shirt and panties and slip into bed with him, facing him while he languidly rubs your back beneath your shirt, his body bare except for a fresh pair of boxers. He smells like your body wash, like his skin has been stained by you.
"___, about what I said on the beach," he murmurs, chewing on his bottom lip.
"What about it?" you ask nervously, seeking his eyes for any sign that he regrets it.
"I meant every word I said," he whispers, leaning in to nudge his nose against yours.
"I know, Jungkook," you murmur, your voice barely reaching his ears before your lips seek out his in the dark room.
He kisses you until you're too sleepy to kiss back anymore, and when you fall asleep in his arms without protesting, your face reflecting how peaceful you feel, he finally rests. He knows what you're too afraid to say out loud, and he doesn't need to hear it from your lips to know that it's real.
He will continue to love you in silence until you're ready to be loved out loud.
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The next morning, you wake up to sound of the waves crashing, the birds chirping, and the feeling of the sun on your face and Jungkook's lips on your cheek. You have to admit it's a damn good way to wake up.
"Morning," he mumbles, his voice still laced with sleep, the deep rumble going straight through your body. You've never had a thing for the 'morning voice' guys tend to exaggerate to sound sexy, but damn. He could read your grocery list after waking up and you'd get down on your knees for him.
"Morning," you smile, your eyes still feeling too heavy to open fully.
"How'd you sleep?"
"Really good," you murmur softly, holding the side of his jaw in the palm of your hand, feeling his warm skin. "You?"
"I slept amazing last night," he grins, his hand slowly sliding down your thigh to hook it over his hip, letting you feel his bulge.
At that, your eyes open, letting out a sleepy chuckle. "Someone's up early," you tease. "Is 'little Jungkook' excited to see me?"
"Don't call him little, it'll hurt his feelings," he groans, pressing his face into your neck as he rolls you onto your back, laying his weight on you. He presses a few lazy kisses to your neck, slowly grinding his hips into you. "He's big and manly."
"Oh, I'm sorry," you murmur, sighing as the head of his cock rubs over your clit through the thin fabric of your underwear. You loosely wrap your arms around his neck, letting your eyes flutter shut once more. "Maybe his lady friend can apologize for me."
"Yeah? Is she awake?"
"Mm...she's definitely awake."
"I should get her ready first," he whispers, pressing a final kiss to your neck before pulling away to pull your t-shirt over your head, tossing it aside.
"She's a little lower down, you know," you chuckle, biting your bottom lip as he starts kissing your breasts, enveloping a nipple in his warm, wet mouth.
"I know," he mumbles with your nipple in his mouth, giving it a suck and a little nibble before switching to the other side. "I just wanted to give my girls some attention too."
"Your...your girls?" You sigh in pleasure as he sucks on your nipple, running your fingers through his messy hair.
"Mm...my precious babies," he smiles, planting a kiss to your sternum before making his descent down your body, his head disappearing under the duvet.
He spreads your thighs to accommodate his shoulders, not bothering to remove your panties. He simply pulls them aside and starts pressing soft, feather-like kisses to your clit. He knows you're still sleepy, and he is too, so he takes his time, languidly licking and sucking on your clit before sliding his tongue through your slick folds, gathering some of your essence on his tongue.
"Fuck, you taste good in the morning." His voice is muffled against your pussy, the duvet drowning most of the sound, but it reaches your ears and it makes your walls clench.
He flicks and swirls his tongue around your clit, pulling moan after moan from your lips, your back arching off the mattress as he eats you out. You're not sure why, but cunnilingus feels even better when you're sleepy.
Soon enough, you're cumming on his tongue, lacking the energy to last any longer than necessary.
He crawls up to stick his head out from under the duvet, his tongue darting out to lick your slick off of his lips. "Love the taste of your pussy in the morning."
"Jesus Christ," you laugh, your cheeks still flushed from your orgasm and his filthy words. "Do you have to be so vulgar?"
"I absolutely have to be so vulgar, yes."
He kisses you, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. It's early and neither one of you have gotten up yet to brush your teeth, but you don't care. You kinda like the way he tastes in the morning. It's natural, it's unfiltered and, you dare say; romantic. It makes your body heat up at the thought alone.
Morning sex is always a treat, a rarity for you and him. It's slower, and softer, and you don't have to think too much because your body just does what feels good. When Jungkook pushes his cock into you and presses his lips to yours to swallow your moans, you feel like you're on cloud nine.
"You're so pretty," he whispers into your ear, his voice deep and low, his hands sliding into yours to intertwine your fingers next to your head.
"You too," you sigh, your eyes rolling back into your head as he thrusts, making sure to roll his hips slowly and deeply.
"You think I'm pretty?" he grins faintly, keeping the pace nice and languid.
"S-so pretty..."
Your words pull a soft groan from within his chest, his face smooshed against your neck.
It doesn't feel like he's fucking you, but rather making love. There's no rush, the house still completely quiet in the early hours of the morning, giving him over enough time to pleasure you. The sun shines through the window, heating the skin of his bare back. His hair stands up in all directions from sleep, making him look extra soft and fluffy. He's so much more than pretty when you open your eyes to look at him. He's magnificent.
He kisses your lips as his thrusts pick up momentum, his body chasing his high. He reaches a hand down to rub circles over your clit, wanting you to finish with him, and as good as you feel, and as close as you are to cumming, you don't even care about that right now. All you care about is getting to share this intimacy with him.
He presses your body into the mattress when he cums, his arms wrapping firmly around your waist, his cock throbbing inside you.
You slide your hands around him, rubbing the skin of his back to soothe him, feeling the way his muscles flex beneath your palms.
His chest rises and falls unevenly, his whole body trembling, the feeling of pure bliss coursing through his veins. "Damn," he mumbles, his voice rough from his ragged breaths. "I might have just ejaculated my soul out of my body."
"That good?"
"So good," he chuckles, still a little breathless. "Wanna go take a shower?"
"Together?"
He leans on his elbows, looking down at you with a sheepish smile. "Yeah. Together."
You smile and push his frazzled hair out of his face, feeling your heart start to beat faster. "Okay."
The two of you take that shower together, sneaking in a few soft kisses and slow touches, trying your best not to get carried away. You kiss while you dry yourselves off and get dressed, and you kiss after brushing your teeth, and then before leaving your room to have breakfast with the rest of his friends, making sure to get in as many kisses before you have to be his "friend" again.
A part of you is sad to be leaving Jeju, but it's not the beach or the house you'll miss, although both of those things were quite nice. Instead, you'll miss opening your eyes in the morning and turning your head to see him next to you. You know that once you get home, you won't have any excuse to wake up next to him except for the fact that you're in love with him and you want to spend your mornings, your afternoons and your nights with him. That would just be insane to tell him that, so you won't, yet it's all you can think about on the plane ride back to Seoul.
He drives you home from the airport and carries your suitcase up to your apartment, handing it back to you at the door. You open the front door and walk in, expecting him to join you, but he doesn't.
"You coming in?"
"I want to but I should really get home to Bam," he sighs, giving you an apologetic smile.
That shouldn't disappoint you as much as it does. You understand, you love Bam and you know he needs his dad, even if you need his dad too.
"Right...yeah...I have to go get Miso from Jihyo's place anyway, so..."
He watches you as you try to hide your disappointment, an amused smile spreading across his face.
"Don't pout, baby," he teases.
"I'm not pouting," you scoff, rolling your eyes. "You should go, Bam-ie's waiting for you."
"Okay," he smiles, not making a move to leave just yet. "Can I get a kiss?"
"I don't know, can you?"
He scoffs and steps forward, cupping your face and pressing a few quick kisses to your mouth. "Before I leave," he murmurs against your lips. "I have a question I've been meaning to ask you."
"What is it?"
"Will you be my date to Joon and Mai's wedding?"
Your disappointment is replaced with surprise and an overwhelming heat that starts to spread throughout your chest, bringing a flush to your cheeks.
"O-okay," you murmur shyly, feeling your heart rate pick up.
"Yeah? Gonna wear a pretty dress for me?"
His smile and his words almost turn your knees to jello, but you manage to keep yourself composed, at least on the outside.
"Yeah."
"You gonna let me take the pretty dress off afterwards?"
"Yeah," you whisper, smiling as he presses another lingering kiss to your mouth, your hands holding onto his shirt to steady yourself.
"Good. I'll see you later, yeah?" He nudges your nose with his, his smile not faltering as he pulls away, sliding his hand down your arm until it reaches your hand, giving it a little squeeze before slowly releasing it.
"Yeah...see you later," you smile, watching him walk down the hall.
He walks until he reaches the elevator, pressing the button and stepping inside. He turns around to look at you down the hall, blowing you a quick kiss as the doors close. You have to wait until the elevator is fully closed before you let out a squeal, feeling like you're sixteen again.
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< Part 4 || Part 6 >
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863 notes · View notes
mafiadad5 · 3 months ago
Text
House of cards. || l.hc + n.jm
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“You want to make quick cash, I have a way.”
♤ now playing- house of cards: bts
♤ Jaemin and Haechan x fem!reader (ft. seven dream)
♤ genre/warnings: smut with plot, angst. college au implied, but also illegal activity au, 18+ mdni!, dom!jaemin, vanilla!haechan, slight threesome, multiple sex scenes, oral sex (m receiving), unprotected sex (don’t do.), breeding/creampie, marking, praise, degrading, pet names, fingering, hair pulling, Jaemin is really manipulative and possessive, betrayal, mention of a gun once or twice.
♤ W/c- 21k
a/n- this is my longest fic. I actually love this, lmk what u think!
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"You're late." A voice hummed beside you as you took a seat, out of breath.
"I know," you panted, setting your bag on the desk and wiping the sweat from your forehead. "I ran here, and I'm still late."
"Don't worry. You didn't miss much." He chuckled softly, his fingers already typing on his laptop. A moment later, you heard the ding of an email notification. "I sent you the notes you missed, you're covered."
"Thanks Haechan, you're the best." You said with a grin as you opened your laptop, his gesture warming your chest.
The lecture moved quickly, and by the end you had managed to catch up on everything you missed. Packing your bag, you were ready to get out of there when a light tap on your shoulder stopped you in your tracks.
"Hm?" You asked, turning to face him.
"Did you forget we planned to grab lunch today?" He asked, tilting his head with a soft smile.
"Oh shit Haechan. I completely forgot. I've just got so much work today." You admitted, guilt already creeping into your tone.
"That's okay," he replied, his smile not falling. "We can work together after lunch, if that's cool?"
You hesitated, but his demeanor made it so hard to say no. "Yeah, that sounds good Haechan."
"Great!" He cheered, standing and slinging his bag over his shoulder.
As you walked together to your favorite lunch spot, you found yourself noticing small details: the way his laugh carried in the air, the soft way his arm brushed yours, the golden hue of sunlight bouncing off the sidewalk. You wondered how many times you'd walked this same path, but never really seen it.
The line wasn't too long, and Haechan squinted at the menu, breaking the silence. "Hmm, the pesto sandwich sounds good. I might have to try it."
You nodded, glancing at the menu. "Yeah, that does sound good."
"What about you? Should we both get it?" He asked, his eyes lighting up with the suggestion.
"Oh, I'll probably just get some coffee or something." You replied nonchalantly, shifting your focus elsewhere.
"Just coffee?" He turned to you, his brows knitting together in concern. "Are you not hungry?"
"I mean, I am, but I have stuff at home. I'll be fine." You said, brushing off his concern.
"Y/n." He said, his tone shifting to something softer. "If you're hungry, you need to eat, plus, I really want to try the pesto sandwich with you. Come on—get one. I'll grab your usual coffee too."
"No Haechan, it's okay...I swear. Don't worry about it. Just get your own stuff—I've got mine." You shook your head, trying to keep your voice light.
He tilted his head at you, that familiar mischievous glint in his eyes that he always has when he convinces you. "But I want to try the pesto with you and if you're not going to buy it, who's going to?"
You opened your mouth to protest, but he cut you off. 
"Exactly." He smiled. 
"Just go grab a table, okay? I insist... please?" His voice softened, the sparkle in his eyes making it impossible to argue.
You sighed in defeat, a small smile tugging at your lips. "Fine, but this is the last time, okay?"
"Sure, sure." He said breezily, already turning toward the counter.
As you walked to your table, you couldn't help but reflect on his kindness. It wasn't just this—Haechan always had your back, always knew how to make you feel cared for even when you didn't want to accept help.
He returned a few minutes later, balancing a tray with the sandwiches and your coffee. "Special delivery." He said, setting it down with a grin.
"Thanks Haechan."
"Okay, let's dive in." He said, holding up half of his sandwich toward you like a toast.
You giggled, clinking your sandwich half against his. "Let's dive in."
You both ate quietly at first, comfortable silence filling the air as you both ate, but something in the moment stirred an ache in your chest, and you found yourself speaking before you could stop.
"Haechan." You said softly, your voice carrying a hint of sorrow.
"Hm?" He hummed, looking up from his food. 
"I just... I want to thank you for always having my back— for everything. It really means a lot to me."
His expression softened, and he rubbed at his mouth with a napkin before responding. "Y/n, there's no need to thank me. I care about you, and I'll always be here for you no matter what."
The sincerity in his voice made you pause, and for a moment, you just looked at him, taking in the way his eyes seemed to shine in the sunlight.
"Haechan... I need to tell you something." You said, your tone shifting to something more serious.
His smile dropped slightly, replaced with a hint of nervousness. "What's up?"
"I'm going back home," you said quietly. "For good."
The words hung in the air, and you watched as his face fell.
"What? How are you going to...? Wait, are you dropping out?" He asked, though he already knew the answer.
You nodded. "Yeah. I'll figure something out when I get home."
"But you don't have a plan yet?" He pressed, desperation creeping into his voice. "Stay a little longer, you can figure it out here."
"Haechan, me not having a plan back home is still more stable than being here." You said, your voice cracking slightly.
"But you're working so hard. We only have one year left. You can do it—I know you can." His voice was full of belief, but there was a sadness there too, like he knew he couldn't do anything to persuade you.
"Haechan... your belief doesn't pay the bills. I work two jobs, and I'm still a full time student— i'm exhausted. I can't do it anymore." You admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.
His leg bounced under the table, and he bit his lip before finally nodding. "Yeah, no, I get it. I really do." He lifted his head, forcing a small smile. "I just hope we stay in touch. I'll always be here to support you, ok?"
"Of course. We're still going to be friends Haechan. Nothing's going to change that, I promise."
He nodded quietly, packing up his things and gathering the trash. "I should get going, I know you have work to do."
"But I thought we were going to work together?" You asked, confused.
"Yeah, I know, but I don't want to distract you." He said, his voice soft but distant.
You frowned. "Haechan, I'm sorry if I upset you..."
"You didn't," he said quickly, his smile hesitant. "I get it, really. I'll talk to you later, ok?"
"Ok. Bye Haechan." You said, watching as he walked away. ══════════════════════════ You sat on your bed, lost in thought, the weight of your decision pressing down on your chest. The faint glow of your phone screen caught your attention as a notification popped up.
“Hey, can we talk?”
Your brows furrowed as you typed back quickly.
“Yeah, sure. Do you wanna call?”
The response came almost immediately.
“No. I want to talk in person.”
A flicker of concern passed through you. Haechan wasn't usually this abrupt.
“Oh, okay. Where do you want to meet?”
“I'll pick you up. Be there in 15.”
Your stomach twisted as you stared at the screen. Something about the way he phrased it felt off, but you pushed the feeling aside.
“Ok!”
You threw on a jacket, glancing at yourself in the mirror. What could he possibly want to talk about that couldn't wait? The thought clawed at you as you slipped outside, waiting on the curb.
The low hum of an engine pulled your attention, and a sleet jet-black BMW rolled up to the curb. Its tinted windows blended seamlessly into the darkness, making it look more like a shadow than a car. The door unlocked with a soft click, and you climbed in, greeted by the faint scent of leather and cologne.
Haechan glanced over at you, his expression unreadable as he reached over to check that your seatbelt was fastened. He didn't say much, just nodding before pulling back onto the street.
"Where are we going?" You asked, your voice cutting through the low hum of the engine.
"Just on a drive, if that's okay with you." He replied, his eyes fixed on the road ahead.
His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, the muscles in his forearms flexing as he maneuvered through the quiet streets. Something about his demeanor—his silence, the sharpness in his posture made the air heavier.
"Yeah, that's fine." You said slowly, trying to see where his mood was at. "What's up? What did you need to talk about?"
He hesitated, his jaw tightening as if he was weighing his words carefully. Finally, he spoke, his voice low. "I have a way you can stay here."
Your chest tightened. "Haechan, I already told you I can't—"
"Just listen." He cut you off sharply. His tone wasn't angry, but the sudden edge in his voice sent a shiver down your spine.
You swallowed hard, nodding. "Ok. What is it?"
"It's risky as hell," He admitted, his grip on the wheel tightening, "but it'll make you a lot of money. More than enough to pay for your tuition and bills."
Your stomach turned. "What kind of 'risky' are we talking about?"
He hesitated again. "I can't tell you too much."
Your brows knitted together as unease crept up your spine. "This sounds very... illegal." You said, trying to add a bit of humor to ease the tension, but the way his jaw clenched at the word made your pulse quicken.
"Would you do it if it was illegal?" He asked, his tone half joking, half dead serious.
"I'm not becoming a prostitute, if that's what you're implying." You joked, your nervous laugh filling the silence.
That earned a small chuckle from him, though it was short. "No, it's not that."
"Well, can you at least tell me more?" You pressed, your voice full with both curiosity and concern.
"I can't." He said firmly, his eyes flicking toward you for a brief moment before returning to the road. "It's something I have to show you. Look—if you're not comfortable, you can back out anytime, but I do it, and... well, look at what you're sitting in right now." He gestured briefly to the interior of the car, the soft leather seats and pristine dashboard. "It's not as bad as you think."
Your heart was pounding now, the weight of his words sinking in. "Haechan, you're scaring me. Seriously."
He exhaled sharply, his grip on the wheel loosening slightly. "If you're scared, then this isn't the right job for you." He said, his voice softer, but still firm.
You bit your lip, your hands clenching in your lap. "But I want to stay," you said, your voice shaky. "I want to try."
He glanced at you again, his expression unreadable. "So, you're down? Like I said, you can back out if you don't want to."
You nodded slowly, swallowing the lump in your throat. "Yeah... I'm down."
He pulled up in front of your apartment building, the car slowing as he turned to look at you. "Alright. Let's talk about this more over lunch tomorrow, yeah?"
"Yeah." You murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. "Sounds like a plan."
You stepped out of the car, your legs shaky as you walked back to your apartment, the hum of the car fading into the night as Haechan drove off. ══════════════════════════ The next day, you sat at the small café table, your leg bouncing anxiously.  The cup of coffee in front of you was untouched, growing colder by the minute as you waited.
Finally, you spotted him weaving through the tables. He placed a red gift bag on the table beside him as he slid into the seat across from you.
"Hey Y/n!" He greeted, his tone cheerful.
"Hey." You replied with a small smile, sitting up straighter.
"How were your classes? I know you had some rough ones today." He asked, his voice light and casual, like the two of you hadn't had a tense conversation just the night before.
"They were... ok actually." You said, your smile tightening slightly. "What about you?"
"Pretty chill. You know I only have one class on Thursdays." He said, leaning back in his chair with a relaxed shrug.
"Right..." You nodded, feeling the tension tighten in your chest. The conversation was good, but you couldn't ignore the elephant in the room. "So... are you ready to talk more about, you know?"
The moment the words left your mouth, his demeanor shifted. The brightness in his expression dimmed, replaced by something harder to read. He tilted his head slightly, his eyes narrowing as they locked onto yours.
"What if I told you," he began slowly, his voice softer but laced with a teasing edge, "that I didn't have anything to talk about and just wanted an excuse to have you come to lunch with me?"
Your brows lifted slightly, caught off guard by his response. "Then I guess it worked, huh?" You replied, a small smile tugging at your lips.
That seemed to satisfy him, and for a moment, his bright smile returned. "It did." He admitted with a quiet laugh, shaking his head. But then, just as quickly as the lightness had returned, it faded again, and he leaned forward slightly, lowering his voice. "There's not much I can say here." He said, glancing briefly around the café as if to check for eavesdroppers.
Your heart skipped a beat, your palms pressing nervously against your thighs under the table.
"But," he continued, sliding the red gift bag across the table toward you, "I wanted to give you this for tonight. Don't open it until you get home, ok?"
You stared at the bag, your fingers hesitating before brushing against the smooth handles. "What's with you and these cliffhangers?" You asked, trying to keep your tone light even as your mind raced with possibilities.
He chuckled softly, his eyes glinting with something unreadable. "I guess I just like keeping you on your toes."
Your lips twitched into a nervous smile, your fingers now gripping the bag. He stood up suddenly, smoothing the front of his jacket as he prepared to leave. "I have to go," he said, glancing at his watch. "but I'll pick you up at 9:30 tonight, ok?"
"Ok." You nodded, your voice quieter now as you looked up at him.
He paused, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer than necessary. "Oh, and look your absolute best." He added, his lips curving into a small mischievous smile. "Even though you're pretty good at that already."
You felt a warmth creep up your neck at his words, but before you could respond, he was already turning away.
"See you tonight." He called over his shoulder, raising a hand in a casual wave.
You waved back, watching him walk his way through the café and out the door. The moment he was gone, the tension you'd been holding onto seemed to double. You glanced down at the gift bag sitting innocently on the table, its crimson color popped against the pale wood. ══════════════════════════ You got home and instantly opened the red gift bag, pulling out the contents with a mix of awe and unease. Inside was a beautiful black dress, its fabric soft and luxurious, shimmering faintly under the dim light of your room. You spotted the price tag and your jaw dropped—$300.
Holding the dress up, you sighed and reached for your phone, opening your text with Haechan.
"Haechan I can't accept this."
"Why not?"
"Because it's so expensive. I have black dresses I can wear. I'm giving it back when you pick me up."
"No offense, but those dresses aren't good enough."
"Ouch..."
"Sorry, you should've just accepted it and been quiet..."
"K whatever, bye."
"Bye Y/n. See you tonight."
You sighed again as you locked your phone and set it down on the bed. Your fingers grazed the dress, it was beautiful, but left you feeling conflicted. A nap seemed like the best way to shake the nerves eating away at you, so you curled up under your blanket, your mind buzzing with unanswered questions.
When you woke, the sun had already set. You got up and started getting ready, making yourself look your absolute best, just like he requested. The dress fit perfectly, clinging to you in all the right places. You styled your hair and touched up your makeup until you barely recognized yourself in the mirror.
As you waited by the window, you heard the familiar low rumble of Haechan's car before your phone even buzzed. You grabbed your things and stepped outside, the cold night air brushing against your skin as you walked toward the sleek black BMW parked by the curb.
Haechan stepped out of the driver's seat, and your eyes widened at the sight of him. He was dressed in tailored black pants and a silky black shirt that glinted faintly under the streetlights. His dark hair was styled in a perfect middle part, and his warm, tan skin seemed to glow even in the dark.
"You look gorgeous." He said, smiling as he opened the passenger door for you.
"I could say the same about you." You replied, unable to hide the small smile tugging at your lips.
He got back into the car, and the two of you drove off. The silence in the car wasn't uncomfortable, but it was heavy, only the faint hum of the radio and the low growl of the engine. Your eyes kept drifting toward Haechan as he drove, his profile sharp and focused, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly.
"So," he said suddenly, breaking the silence. "I have three rules for you before we get there."
You nodded, your heart skipping a beat as you turned to him.
"Rule one: don't talk to anyone I don't introduce you to or people who aren't customers." His voice was steady, but there was a slight edge to it.
"Ok."
"Rule two: never, ever come to this place without me."
You hesitated but nodded again. "Ok."
"Rule three: never go home with anyone, and I mean anyone. No excuses, no exceptions. Do you understand me? This is very important."
The weight of his words pressed down on you, but you nodded. "Yes, I understand."
"Good." He said, his tone softening slightly, but his gaze remained fixed on the road.
The car pulled into a narrow alley, lined with other luxury cars that gleamed under the dim glow of overhead lights. You glanced nervously at Haechan as he parked and got out, quickly walking to your side to open the door for you.
You stepped out, the sounds of the city muffled in the quiet alley. Haechan guided you toward, what looked like an ordinary convenience store. The bell above the door jingled as you entered, and your stomach twisted with confusion. It was... just a convenience store.
You followed Haechan to the counter, where a small man with a gray beard greeted him warmly. "Haechan! We missed you!"
"Yeah, I've been busy. Glad to be back." Haechan replied with a polite smile.
The man's eyes flicked to you, and his smile grew slightly. "And who's this?"
"A friend." Haechan said, glancing at you before returning his attention to the man.
"Only a friend?" The man teased, his tone dripping with sarcasm.
"Why do you always press me like this? She's only a friend." Haechan chuckled, but his tone shifted to something more serious.
The man's expression got serious. "You know how I feel about new customers." He said, his voice low.
Haechan pulled out a stack of cash and slid it across the counter. "Maybe this will change your mind?"
The man raised an eyebrow but pushed the money back. "Keep your money young man. I'll make this exception because she looks like she could make me some money, but don't do it again. Or you're done."
"Yes sir," Haechan said with a respectful nod. "Now, can we go?"
The man grunted, then pressed a button under the counter. A faint click echoed through the room, and a beaded curtain at the back of the store shifted slightly.
Haechan motioned for you to follow him. Your steps were hesitant as you glanced back at the man, who gave you a small smile.
Haechan pushed through the curtain and opened a hidden door, revealing a narrow, dimly lit staircase. He turned to you, his hand reaching for yours. "Come on."
You hesitated, your fingers trembling as they intertwined with his. The air grew colder as you descended, the sound of your heels echoing faintly on the worn steps.
"I don't know Haechan," you whispered. "If this is too much trouble, I can leave. I don't want to get you in trouble."
He stopped abruptly, turning to face you. "We're in." He said firmly. He gestured to the door at the bottom of the stairs. "This is your last chance to turn back. Are you in?"
You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest. You took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah, I'm in."
A small smile tugged at his lips before he turned back and opened the door.
The room beyond was like nothing you'd ever seen—a lavish, red and gold space filled with poker tables, roulette wheels, and slot machines. The crowd was a mix of old and young, all dressed in the finest clothes, their wealth on display in every detail.
"Here we are." Haechan murmured beside you, his voice low and steady.
You couldn't tear your eyes away from the scene. The luxuriousness, the mystery, the faint hum of tension in the air—it was intoxicating.
Goodness, what had you gotten yourself into?
══════════════════════════ Rule #1: don't talk to strangers or people who aren't playing customers.
Haechan led you into the vibrant room, his demeanor cool and collected as if this was second nature to him.
"So, here's a quick rundown of the place." He began, his voice calm but commanding as you trailed closely behind him. "These are the slot machines. You won't be here much because, honestly, people just kind of do whatever here. It's not really our focus."
You nodded, glancing around at the glowing machines that lit up the space. Laughter, cheers, and frustrated groans filled the air as people obsessively pulled levers and pressed buttons.
"These," he continued, leading you past the slot machines to a series of spinning wheels surrounded by a mix of excitement, "are the roulette tables. They're not huge money-makers, but I think you could handle them. People listen to pretty faces."
He smirked, shooting you a sideways glance that made your cheeks flush slightly.
He chuckled and moved on. "Now, these are the Rummikub tables." He explained, gesturing toward a quieter section of the room where small groups of people sat in the game. "This is my personal favorite because I like to play, but it's not where the big money is. You won't really need to be here unless you're playing for fun."
He stopped for a moment, scanning the room before continuing. "And finally, these are the poker and blackjack tables." He said, his tone shifting slightly as he pointed to the most crowded section of the room. The energy here was different—intense and electric. Stacks of cash and high stakes surrounded every table. "This is where we want to be. These tables are our bread and butter. This is where the real money gets made."
You took it all in, your stomach twisting slightly with nerves. "Um, Haechan, not to kill the vibe or anything, but I don't think this is for me." You admitted hesitantly. "I'm terrible at gambling. They'd destroy me out there."
He stopped walking and turned to face you, a soft laugh escaping his lips. "You're not gambling Y/n." He said, his voice patient but firm. "That's not the job."
"Then... what is the job?" You asked, feeling a little more nervous now.
He smiled as he pushed open a heavy red door labeled "EMPLOYEES ONLY." Inside, three men were gathered, each with a distinct aura that made it clear they were used to being in charge of something.
"Haechan! Where've you been?" One of them said, standing up to greet him with a firm handshake.
"Busy, as always." Haechan replied with a grin. "But I'm here now. Got something new to show you." He turned slightly, motioning toward you.
The man looked you up and down with a raised eyebrow. "And who's this?"
"This is Y/n. She's going to be working with us." Haechan explained, his tone casual but confident.
"She's gonna be a money maker, I can tell already." The man said, extending a hand toward you. "I'm Mark. Nice to meet you Y/n."
You shook his hand, offering a polite smile. "Nice to meet you too."
"Hi, I'm Renjun." Said another man seated at a desk covered in monitors displaying security camera feeds. He glanced at you briefly before turning his attention back to the screens. "Wow, you're really pretty." He added, looking at Haechan. "Where'd you find her?"
Haechan rolled his eyes, chuckling. "Mind your business."
"And I'm Jisung." Said a tall guy with a deep voice, walking into the room. "I'm the boss around here."
"Jisung, you are not the boss." Another voice interjected. A sharp looking man sitting in the corner smirked at Jisung. "I'm Chenle. Don't listen to him—he just likes to act important."
You laughed nervously, glancing at Haechan for reassurance.
"Alright, alright." Haechan interrupted, steering the conversation back. "I'm gonna go find the actual boss. Can you guys give Y/n the rundown while I'm gone?"
"Of course." Mark said, gesturing for you to sit down.
As you took a seat, Mark leaned forward. "Ok, so here's how it works. Your job is to keep people here. Talk to them, smile, flirt a little if you need to. Serve drinks, compliment them—basically make them feel like winners so they keep playing. That's it."
"That sounds... easy enough." You said, nodding slowly.
"It is, for the most part." Mark agreed. "But here's the deal—if you cash out less than $500 in tips and earnings by the end of the night, you get a strike. Four strikes, and you're out. Got it?"
"Got it." You replied, trying to sound more confident than you felt.
Haechan returned a few minutes later, his smile reassuring as he asked, "You ready to start Y/n?"
"Yeah, I'm ready." You said, standing up and smoothing down your dress.
He led you back out to the floor, stopping at a busy poker table. "Here's your first table of the night. Just do your thing."
Hours had passed, and while the work had been easier than you expected, it was also exhausting. Smiling endlessly, chatting up customers, and walking back and forth had drained your energy. You were relieved when Haechan finally appeared beside you, leaning in close to whisper.
"Let's go cash you out." He said softly, a small smirk tugging at his lips.
You followed him to the office, your feet aching. The room looked the same as before, but the men inside seemed more worn down now, their postures slouched and expressions slightly tired.
Mark perked up when you entered, shooting you a friendly grin. "How was your first night Y/n?"
"It was good." You replied, managing a smile. "Some weirdos, but I can handle it."
Mark chuckled. "Yeah, that's pretty typical. Just remember, we're here to protect you. None of us are gonna let anything happen to you—or any of the other women who work here." He added, his voice kind, but firm.
Jisung chimed in, offering you an encouraging smile. "He's right. We don't tolerate anyone stepping out of line. Now, are you ready for your cash out?"
You nodded eagerly, and Jisung walked over to a machine in the corner, his fingers flying over the buttons.
"Renjun, can I get a head count for her?" Jisung asked without looking up.
Renjun who was still monitoring the cameras, swiveled in his chair to glance at you. "She's got about ten customers." He reported before turning back to the screens.
Jisung pressed one final button, and the machine whirred before spitting out a stack of cash. He counted it quickly, nodding to himself before handing it over to you.
"$7,500." Jisung said impressed. "Not bad for your first night."
Your eyes widened as you accepted the money, the weight of it startling in your hands. "Thank you."
"What?" Chenle exclaimed from across the room. "$7,500 on her first night? That can't be right!"
Haechan laughed, throwing an arm around your shoulders. "Just accept that there are people better than you Chenle."
Chenle shot him a disbelieving look, muttering something under his breath, but Haechan ignored him. Instead, he turned to you, his expression softening. "Alright Y/n, can you wait for me at the entrance? I still need to do my cash out and talk to them for a minute."
"Yeah, sure. It was nice meeting you all." You said, waving to the others as you made your way to the door.
"It was nice meeting you too!" Jisung called after you, the rest of them nodding or waving in agreement.
You walked out, heading toward the entrance. As you neared the door, a deep voice stopped you in your tracks.
"Where are you going?"
You turned around, and your breath hitched slightly. The man addressing you was easily the most attractive person you'd seen all night.
"Oh, I was just leaving." You said with a polite smile.
"Why so soon princess?" He asked, stepping closer, his voice low and smooth.
"My friend is leaving, so I'm going with him." You explained.
"Haechan?" He asked, tilting his head.
You nodded. "Yeah, that's him. You know him?"
He smirked. "Yeah, I know him. So... you're dating or something?"
You shook your head quickly. "No, we're just friends, but I came with him, so it's only right to leave with him."
"It's right to stay too." He countered, his voice dripping with charm. "I'd love to have a beautiful woman to look at a little longer."
You laughed softly, the flirty glint in his eyes making your cheeks warm. "Well, I won't stay beautiful if I don't get my beauty sleep. I'll be back, you'll have someone to stare at again."
He slipped five crisp $100 bills into your hand, his fingers brushing yours briefly. "You promise?" He murmured.
"Pinky promise." You replied with a playful smile.
Satisfied, he flashed you one last grin before walking away, leaving you slightly flustered and holding the money. You couldn't stop smiling as you waited for Haechan.
He appeared shortly after his own cash out complete. "Ready to go?"
"Yep." You said, following him out the door. The crisp night air hit your face, refreshing after the stuffy casino atmosphere. You climbed into Haechan's car, unable to contain the excitement bubbling inside you.
"I still can't believe this." You said as he started the engine. "$7,500 Haechan. Are you kidding me? That's so much money!"
Haechan glanced at you, his smile bright. "You did really good. I didn't even make that much tonight."
"Well, technically, I made $8,000." You held up the five $100 bills, laughing. "This random guy gave me this to promise I'd come back. I didn't even do anything!"
Haechan's smile fell slightly. "Wait, didn't I tell you not to talk to strangers?" His tone had shifted, becoming more serious.
Your excitement dimmed just a bit. "Well, he was a customer, obviously, so I didn't think it was a big deal. I didn't want to be rude."
Haechan sighed, his grip tightening on the wheel. "How could you be so sure it was a customer?"
"Yeah, I guess you're right." You said, your voice low with defeat. 
He took a deep breath. "Just... be careful. Some of these guys, they'll push boundaries if you let them." He spoke softly, relaxing again.
You nodded, a small wave of unease washing over you. "I'll be more careful next time."
"Good." He said, his easygoing demeanor returned as a small smile painted his face.
You tilted your head in curiosity as you started to think. "So, isn't it just a regular casino? What makes it illegal?"
He chuckled softly, though there was a darker edge to it. "It's a lot more than just gambling Y/n. This place is a money laundering front. No taxes, no oversight. A lot of the cash that comes in is dirty—earned through illegal means. We clean it for them, and we profit off it. Also people can't snitch if we use them to keep playing. Like if someone drinks too much and blows a $1,000,000 check, that's not our fault and they just have to take that L."
You frowned. "That sounds... really shady. What about the people who lose all their money? Doesn't that bother you?"
"They're not innocent." He said, his voice firm. "Most of them are criminals or addicts. They're already hurting themselves or other people. We just benefit from it. That's the business."
His logic made sense, but it didn't sit entirely right with you. "I guess you're right..." You said softly, though a small frown lingered on your face.
Haechan glanced at you, his smile returning. "Don't overthink it. You're just here to make money, not solve the world's problems."
You nodded slowly, leaning back in your seat. "What happens if I don't want to go through with this?"
Haechan's cheerful expression dimmed slightly. He hesitated before answering, as if carefully choosing his words. "Well, you could just walk away. No one's going to stop you if you don't come back. But..." His voice dropped, and for the first time that night, he looked genuinely uncomfortable. "If you talk—if you go to the police, or try to blow the whistle, things get messy."
"Messy how?" You asked, your throat tightening.
He glanced at you, his gaze serious. "You could be arrested. They'll find a way to charge you with something without exposing themselves. And if that doesn't work..." He hesitated again, his grip tightening on the wheel. "You could... disappear."
"Disappear?" You echoed, your voice barely above a whisper.
"Killed." He said bluntly, though his tone was soft. "But that's only if you snitch. As long as you keep your mouth shut, you're safe. I'll protect you from everything else. You just have to trust me."
You stared at him, his words sinking in like cold water. "I trust you." You said finally, though your voice was shaky.
Haechan's expression softened, his usual bright smile returning. "Good. I've been doing this for a long time Y/n. I know how to keep you safe."
He pulled up to your apartment building.
"Thanks for tonight." You said, your voice quieter now. "For taking care of me."
He smiled. "Anytime. Text me when you're inside, ok?"
You nodded, climbing out of the car and heading up to your apartment. Once inside, you dropped your things and leaned against the door, exhaling a shaky breath. Your phone buzzed in your pocket, pulling you out of your thoughts.
"You're okay, right?"
You smiled faintly, typing back.
"Yeah, I had fun. Thank you for caring about me this much."
His reply came almost instantly.
"Always."
You meant it when you said you trusted him, but as you stared at the $8,000 now sitting on your counter, a lingering unease settled in your chest. This all felt too good to be true. ══════════════════════════
The days turned into weeks, and before you knew it, you'd settled into a strange rhythm at the casino. You'd show up with Haechan, who would always meet you at your door, teasing you about taking forever to get ready.
"I swear you spend more time picking an outfit than we do making money." He'd joke, leaning against your doorframe with that familiar smirk that made your stomach twist.
"Maybe I like looking good for tips." You'd reply, brushing past him with a smile that was just as teasing.
It wasn't long before you learned the ins and outs of the job. Jisung and Chenle started treating you like one of the guys, offering pointers and cracking jokes about your mistakes. Mark was a constant source of encouragement, always reminding you to keep your head up when things got overwhelming.
And then there was Haechan.
He was always there—your partner, your guide, your protector. He would steer you away from customers he didn't trust, stand close when someone got too handsy, and give you a quiet thumbs up from across the room when he saw you closing out a big tip.
"You're a natural." He'd say whenever you doubted yourself, his voice warm and sincere in a way that made your chest ache.
It wasn't just his words. It was the way he would linger a little too long when handing you your coat, his fingers brushing against yours. The way his eyes would soften when you laughed, like he was seeing something he didn't know he needed.
You tried not to think too much about it. After all, this wasn't the kind of world where feelings could blossom freely. There was always a shadow hanging over you—an unspoken reminder that nothing about this life was safe.
Still, moments with Haechan felt... different. Like tonight.
The casino had been unusually packed, the noise and lights more overwhelming than usual. You worked the floor for hours, smiling until your cheeks hurt and dodging the advances of too drunk customers. By the time the night was over, you were exhausted, leaning against the wall near the entrance as you waited for Haechan.
"Long night?" His voice pulled you from your thoughts.
You looked up to see him standing a few feet away, his hands shoved into his pockets and that familiar playful smile tugging at his lips.
"Understatement." You muttered, pushing yourself off the wall.
He chuckled, tilting his head toward the exit. "C'mon. Let's get out of here."
The drive back was quiet at first, the hum of the engine filling the space between you, but then Haechan broke the silence.
"You've been killing it lately." He said, glancing at you. "Seriously. Even Chenle said he's impressed."
You smiled, the compliment warming you more than it should have. "Thanks. It's been... a lot to get used to, but I think I'm finally getting the hang of it."
"You are." He said softly, his tone more serious now. "You're doing great Y/n. Better than I expected."
"Better than you expected?" You teased, raising an eyebrow. "Wow, ouch."
He laughed, the sound filling the car. "That's not what I meant. I knew you'd do well—I just didn't think you'd handle everything this easily. It's not exactly... normal, you know?"
You nodded, the weight of his words sinking in. "Yeah, I know, but I've got you guys, so it helps."
His expression softened, and for a moment, he didn't say anything. When he finally spoke, his voice was quieter. "You've got me at least."
The words hung in the air, heavier than you expected. You glanced at him, your chest tightening at the way he looked at you—like he meant it, like he wanted you to believe it.
"I know, I've always have." You said, your voice just as soft.
The rest of the ride passed in comfortable silence, the tension between you settling into something warm. When he dropped you off at your apartment, he lingered for a moment, leaning against the car door as you fumbled with your keys.
"Get some rest." He said, his tone lighter now. "You've earned it."
"You too." You replied, pausing in the doorway. "Haechan?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks. For... everything."
He smiled, the kind of smile that felt like it was just for you. "Always."
You closed the door behind you, leaning against it as your heart raced.
The weeks continued to pass, each night at the casino blurring into the next. You found yourself looking forward to the moments you shared with Haechan, the quiet car rides and the easy banter that seemed to come so naturally.
It was in the way he'd stand a little too close when you talked, the way his hand would linger on your lower back as he guided you through the crowded floor. You told yourself it didn't mean anything, that it was just Haechan being Haechan, but deep down, you weren't so sure. ══════════════════════════ Rule two: never, ever go to this place without Haechan.
It was early evening when Haechan's text popped up on your phone. You were putting the finishing touches on your makeup, already running late.
"Don't bother getting ready tonight. I'm sick, and we're not going in."
You frowned, rereading the text. Your heart sank. Tuition was due in two days, and while you had some of the money saved up, you still needed tonight's cash out to cover the rest.
You quickly typed back.
"I need to go. Can't you power through just for a few hours?"
His response came faster than you expected.
"No Y/n. Just take the night off."
It was one of the rules he'd drilled into your head since day one: Never go to the casino alone. But the deadline for your tuition payment loomed over you, and staying home wasn't an option.
You made up your mind quickly, grabbing your bag and heading out the door.
The casino was just as chaotic as usual—loud music, flashing lights, and the hum of people talking, laughing, and gambling. Without Haechan by your side, it felt overwhelming, but you pushed past the nerves. You told yourself you'd just do a few rounds, make your money, and leave before anyone noticed you were there alone.
As you made your way through the floor, a familiar voice stopped you in your tracks.
"Princess."
You turned around, your heart skipping a beat when you saw him—the guy from your first night, the one who'd slipped you $500. He looked just as attractive as you remembered, dressed sharply with an air of confidence that made him stand out even in a place like this.
"Leaving so soon?" He asked, a playful smirk on his lips.
"Uh, no. Just... getting started." You replied, trying to sound casual as your heart raced.
His smile widened, and he stepped closer. "What if, instead of working, you spend the night talking to me?"
You raised an eyebrow, half laughing. "You want to pay me to talk to you?"
"Why not?" He said smoothly. "I think you're interesting, and I'd like to get to know you better."
You hesitated, glancing around the room. "I don't even know your name."
"Jaemin." He said, holding out his hand.
You shook it, your gaze narrowing slightly. "That name sounds familiar."
"It should." He said, his smirk deepening. "I'm kind of a big deal around here."
You tilted your head, trying to place him, but nothing clicked. "I don't know what that means, but ok."
He chuckled, leaning in just enough to make your pulse quicken. "One conversation. I'll pay for your cash out tonight if you do."
You froze, your eyes narrowing. "How do you even know about cash outs?"
Jaemin's grin widened, his voice dropping lower. "Because I'm the boss sweetheart. The one who runs everything here."
Your heart stopped. "Wait—you're the boss?"
"Guilty." He said, his tone casual but his eyes locked on yours. "Now, about that conversation?"
You didn't have much of a choice. If he was really the boss, there was no way you could turn him down without risking your job—or worse.
"Alright," you said, trying to keep your voice steady. "but I expect you to keep your promise."
"Always." He replied, his tone smooth as silk.
The two of you ended up in one of the VIP lounges, a secluded space far away from the noise of the casino floor. The atmosphere was intimate, the lighting low and warm.
"So," Jaemin said, leaning back on the couch and studying you with a faint smile. "Tell me about yourself."
You laughed softly, shaking your head. "Isn't this supposed to be about you?"
"I already know about me." He said, his tone teasing. "I want to know about you. What made you decide to work here?"
You hesitated, unsure how much to reveal. "I needed the money. Tuition's expensive, and this seemed... easier than working three part time jobs."
He nodded, his expression softening. "Fair enough. So, what's your major?"
"Business," you replied. "and before you ask—no, I'm not planning to end up in a place like this after I graduate."
Jaemin laughed, a low, rich sound that sent a shiver down your spine. "Smart girl, but you know, you've got a natural talent for this. You could go far if you wanted to."
"I'll take that as a compliment." You said, your lips curving into a smile.
"You should. I'd be lying if I said you didn't catch my attention the moment I saw you."
You felt your cheeks heat up but managed to play it cool. "Well, you'll have to get used to disappointment. I'm not here for attention—I'm here for money."
Jaemin tilted his head, his gaze dropping briefly to your lips before meeting your eyes again. "And here I was thinking you came back tonight because you couldn't stop thinking about me."
You rolled your eyes, laughing softly. "You're ridiculous."
"Am I?" He asked, the corner of his mouth quirking up. "Because I think I'm pretty good at reading people, and right now, I'm reading you."
"Oh yeah? And what's my story Mr. Boss?" you asked, crossing your arms and leaning back.
He mirrored your posture, smirking. "You're smart, ambitious, and probably way too good for a place like this, but you're also a little reckless—you wouldn't be here alone tonight if you weren't."
The flirtation in his voice was impossible to ignore, and your heart picked up speed. "Maybe I'm just bad at following rules." You said, your tone light but your gaze steady.
"Good," Jaemin said, his voice dropping an octave. "I like people who know how to break the rules."
The way he said it made your stomach flip, and for a moment, you were grateful for the low lighting that hid your expression.
"Careful." You said, forcing a smirk. "I might start to think you're the reckless one."
"Who's to say I'm not?" He replied smoothly. He leaned back, watching you like he was waiting for you to challenge him further.
The energy between you was magnetic. It wasn't until Jaemin's next comment that your breath caught.
"Tell me something princess." He said, his voice soft, but deliberate. "Do you always play hard to get, or is that just for me?"
You opened your mouth to respond, but the words caught in your throat. The intensity in his gaze made it impossible to think straight.
"You really think I'm playing?" You managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper.
His smirk deepened, and he leaned in just enough to make your pulse race. "I think you're having fun, but if I'm wrong, you can tell me to stop anytime."
You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest. Before you could say anything, the moment was interrupted.
"Jaemin."
Both of you turned to see Haechan standing in the doorway, his expression stormy. His eyes flicked between you and Jaemin, his jaw clenched tight.
Jaemin stood, his demeanor casual despite the tension radiating from Haechan. "If it's about business it can wait." Jaemin said, his tone light but firm.
"It's not." Haechan replied, his voice clipped. "Can we talk? Alone."
Jaemin glanced at you, his smirk softening into something almost reassuring. "Don't go anywhere princess. I'll be right back."
As soon as the door closed behind them, you braced yourself. It didn't take long before Haechan came back, his expression darker than before.
Haechan's shoulders tensed as he stared at you, his jaw clenched so tightly you thought he might snap. "I just don't understand why you'd risk everything by coming here alone. Did you even think about what could've happened to you?"
"Don't talk to me like I'm reckless Haechan." You shot back, your voice sharp. "I'm not stupid. I was careful, and you weren't here. What was I supposed to do? Sit at home and hope for the best while my tuition goes unpaid?"
His nostrils flared, and he stepped closer, lowering his voice but not his intensity. "You were supposed to trust me. I told you I'd take care of it, and instead, you went behind my back and broke the most important rule here."
"Trust you?" You echoed, scoffing bitterly. "You mean the way you've been keeping things from me? Like the fact that Jaemin owns this place? You want me to trust you, but you don't even tell me the full truth."
Haechan flinched slightly, guilt flashing in his eyes before frustration took over again. "I didn't tell you about Jaemin because I didn't want you getting mixed up with him. He's—"
"He's what?" you interrupted, your anger boiling over. "Because from where I'm standing, he's the only one who's been upfront with me tonight. And maybe if you had been honest from the start, I wouldn't have felt the need to come here on my own."
His hands curled into fists at his sides, his voice tight with suppressed emotion. "You don't get it, do you? This isn't just some game. Jaemin isn't some harmless guy throwing money around—he's dangerous Y/n. I've seen what happens to people who cross him. I didn't tell you because I was trying to protect you!"
"Protect me?" You repeated, shaking your head. "You're not protecting me Haechan. You're treating me like I'm incapable of making my own decisions, and I'm tired of it."
For a moment, the two of you just stared at each other, the weight of your words hanging in the air like a heavy cloud. Haechan's shoulders sagged slightly, his expression softening but still guarded. "I'm not trying to control you." He said quietly, his voice almost breaking. "I just—"
He stopped himself, running a hand through his hair as he looked away.
"You just what?" You pressed, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and something else you couldn't quite place.
"I don't want to lose you." He finally admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.
The vulnerability in his words hit you harder than you expected, but it wasn't enough to extinguish the frustration still simmering in your chest.
"You don't get to say that after everything." You said, your tone softer but still firm. "You don't get to act like you care and then keep me in the dark."
His jaw worked as he struggled to find the right words. Finally, he sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "You're right." He said, his voice heavy. "I messed up, but you still shouldn't have come here alone."
You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. "And you shouldn't have lied to me. Looks like we both messed up."
"Let's just go." He said after a long pause, his voice low.
You nodded stiffly, still too angry to say more. As the two of you walked out of the lounge, Jaemin's voice followed you.
"Leaving so soon princess?" He called, his tone laced with amusement.
Haechan didn't even look back, his hand brushing your arm as he gently guided you toward the exit.
The car ride was silent, the air between you thick with unresolved tension. You stared out the window, your arms crossed tightly over your chest, while Haechan gripped the steering wheel like it was the only thing keeping him grounded.
As you approached your apartment, he finally spoke, his voice quiet but firm. "We'll talk about this later."
You didn't respond, but the flicker of hurt in his tone made your chest ache. As much as you wanted to hold onto your anger, you couldn't shake the feeling that tonight had changed something between you. ══════════════════════════
The tension between you and Haechan was suffocating, and the silence in the car lingered long after you had arrived home. He didn't follow you inside, didn't offer his usual lingering goodbye, just sat in the driver's seat, gripping the wheel, his knuckles white as if he was fighting every instinct to say something.
You didn't look back when you walked into your apartment, but the guilt started to settle in the moment you closed the door behind you. Still, your frustration bubbled just beneath the surface. You knew Haechan cared, but you also felt trapped under the weight of his protectiveness, like he didn't see you as someone capable of standing on your own.
As you lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, your phone buzzed on the nightstand. You hesitated before grabbing it, expecting a text from Haechan, but instead a random number flashed across the screen.
"Did you make it home safely princess?"
Jaemin. Your lips twitched into a small smile despite the events of the evening. Why does he care? you wondered.
"Yeah, I'm home. Thanks for asking."
Almost immediately, he replied.
"Good. You shouldn't let Haechan get to you too much. He's always been protective, but he means well."
You stared at the message, your mind racing. Why does it feel like he knows so much?
"How did you even get my number?"
"I have my ways."
Your stomach twisted at his vague response, a strange mix of unease and intrigue coursing through you.
"That's not an answer Jaemin."
"Let's just say I make it my business to know the people who interest me. And you Y/n, are very interesting."
Your cheeks flushed at the implication, but a small part of you bristled at the invasion of privacy.
"You're really something else, huh?"
"Only for you princess."
Before you could respond, another text came through.
"I'd rather see that smile of yours in person than try to guess how you're feeling through a screen. Think you can handle another night at the lounge soon?"
Your heart skipped a beat. He was so smooth, so disarming, and it was hard not to be charmed by his confidence. But after tonight, you weren't sure how you felt about stepping foot in the lounge again.
"We'll see. I don't want to cause any more trouble."
"You're not trouble Y/n. You're a breath of fresh air in a room full of suffocating smoke."
Your heart fluttered, you hated how easily his words affected you.
"Goodnight Jaemin."
"Sweet dreams princess."
You set your phone down, biting your lip to suppress a smile, but the weight of your fight with Haechan lingered. You knew you'd have to face him again soon, and the thought filled you with equal parts dread and anticipation.
The next morning, you weren't surprised when Haechan showed up at your apartment. He didn't knock, just let himself in with the spare key you'd given him months ago. You found him leaning against your kitchen counter, arms crossed, his expression unreadable.
"We need to talk." He said, his voice low, but steady.
You nodded, wrapping your arms around yourself. "I know."
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Look, I'm still mad. I'm furious actually, but more than that, I'm scared. You don't understand how dangerous Jaemin is Y/n. He's not some harmless flirt—he's the kind of guy who could ruin your life without blinking."
You flinched at his words, but you forced yourself to meet his gaze. "And what if I can handle him? What if I don't need you swooping in to save me all the time?"
Haechan's jaw clenched. "It's not about you needing me. It's about the fact that I can't sit back and watch you get hurt. You're too important to me."
Your breath caught at the intensity in his voice, and for a moment, you didn't know what to say.
"Haechan..."
He shook his head, stepping closer. "I know I've been holding back, not telling you everything, but it's not because I don't trust you—it's because I don't trust him. Jaemin doesn't do anything without a reason, and if he's got his eyes on you, it's not because he's just being nice."
You frowned, your chest tightening with a mix of emotions. "I can't just ignore him Haechan. He knows things—about the lounge, about you, about me. Part of me feels like if I don't play along, it'll only make things worse."
His eyes softened, but his frustration was still evident. "If you think Jaemin is the kind of person you can play along with, you don't know him like I do."
"I'm not an idiot." You snapped, your voice sharper than you intended. "I don't need you to lecture me about how dangerous he is. I'm just trying to figure this out on my own terms, without you controlling every step I take."
His jaw tightened, and his voice dropped. "Then figure it out, but don't come crying to me when it blows up in your face."
Your chest tightened, his words cutting deeper than you expected. "So that's it? You're just done?"
Haechan's expression was stormy, but there was an unmistakable sadness in his eyes. "I don't want to be, but I can't protect you if you keep running straight into the fire."
You swallowed hard, forcing yourself to hold back tears. "Maybe I don't need your protection Haechan. Maybe I just need you to trust me."
He didn't say anything for a long moment, his gaze fixed on you as if searching for something. Finally, he exhaled sharply and grabbed his jacket.
"Well I don't." He said flatly, heading for the door. "Since you're so big and bad now, figure it out yourself."
══════════════════════════ Rule #3: never go home with anyone.
The door slammed behind Haechan, the sound echoing in the quiet apartment, and for a moment, you just stood there, staring at the space he left. The words he'd said still stung—especially the way he'd walked out without looking back, as if you weren't even worth the fight anymore.
You didn't know why it hurt so much. Maybe it was the way he'd always been there, his protective instincts always so fierce. Or maybe it was the way he'd seemed to abandon you when you needed him most. Either way, the emptiness in your chest wasn't something you could ignore.
You sank onto the couch, trying to clear your head. You don't need him, you thought. You're strong enough to handle this on your own, but as much as you told yourself that, the ache in your heart didn't fade.
After a while, you found yourself reaching for your phone and staring at Jaemin's number, the memory of his charming words still lingering in your mind. He'd always known how to make you smile, how to make you feel like you were the only person in the room. Honestly, right now, you needed that distraction.
You hesitated for a moment before typing out a simple message.
"Hey, are you working tonight?"
You didn't have to wait long for his reply.
"I'm always working, but I'm free if you need some company. You gonna come see me tonight?"
There was something about the way he phrased it that made your stomach flutter. You knew what he meant, and despite the mess that had just unfolded with Haechan, you felt the pull toward him. Maybe it was wrong, maybe it wasn't the healthiest decision, but in that moment, you didn't care. You wanted to feel wanted again.
"I'll be there in a bit."
You changed quickly, putting on something that made you feel confident. You weren't exactly sure what was drawing you back to the casino, but you had to admit, Jaemin was part of the reason. The way he looked at you, the way he made you feel like you were the center of his world, it was intoxicating. It was exactly what you needed after the fight with Haechan.
The casino was as chaotic as always when you arrived, but the moment you stepped through the door, your eyes immediately found Jaemin. He was talking to someone, but the second he saw you, his gaze sharpened, and a smile spread across his face.
"Well, well, look who finally decided to grace me with her presence." Jaemin said, walking toward you. His presence seemed to fill the room in a way that made you feel all eyes on you.
"Couldn't resist, huh?" He added, a playful glint in his eyes.
"I guess not." You replied, unable to fight the small smile tugging at your lips. You leaned against the bar as he approached, his eyes never leaving yours. You could feel the tension between you, the unspoken connection that had been simmering from the moment you first met him.
Jaemin stepped in closer, his voice dropping to a more intimate tone. "So, what's a beautiful woman like you doing here all alone? Shouldn't you be somewhere safer?"
The way he said "safer" made it sound like a challenge, like he knew exactly what he was doing to you.
"I don't know," you answered, keeping your voice steady, "maybe I wanted to see you again."
His smile widened, and without missing a beat, he placed his hand lightly on your back, guiding you away from the bar. "I'm glad you did. I was starting to think I'd have to drag you here myself."
You chuckled at the thought, but there was no mistaking the way he was looking at you now. His hand lingered lower on your back, his touch sending a shiver down your spine.
As you both moved through the crowd, Jaemin leaned in closer, his voice just above a whisper. "I've been thinking about you Y/n. You've been on my mind since that night at the casino."
His words were smooth, but it was the intensity in his eyes that made your stomach tighten.
"Have you?" You asked, voice dropping to match his intimacy. You were close enough now that you could feel the heat radiating off him, his proximity making your heart race.
"Yeah." Jaemin replied, a sly smile playing on his lips. "I can't help myself when I see someone as stunning as you. I like the way you move, the way you talk, the way you look at me." His fingers brushed the edge of your arm as he spoke.
You didn't pull away. You couldn't. "Well, maybe you shouldn't have been so bold then." You teased, your breath catching in your throat as his gaze darkened.
"I'm bold because I know exactly what I want." Jaemin said, his voice a smooth caress against your ear as he leaned in even closer. "And right now, I want you."
You swallowed hard, the tension between you two almost unbearable now. "What are you saying Jaemin?"
He stopped walking and turned to face you, his hand gently cupping your chin, forcing your eyes to meet his. "I'm saying... maybe you should come back to my place tonight. We can skip all the small talk and go straight to what we both want."
Your breath hitched. You could feel the heat rising between you, but even then there was a lingering thought in the back of your mind—Haechan. You had just had a fight with him, but did that mean you had to go through with this?
Jaemin didn't wait for your answer. "You don't have to decide now, but I'm not going to ask again." He whispered, his lips so close to yours that you could feel the warmth of his breath. "Let's see where the night takes us."
And before you could stop yourself, you nodded, your voice barely above a whisper. "Okay."
You followed him out of the casino, your heart racing as you left behind everything familiar—everything safe. Jaemin's house was breathtakingly luxurious—sleek and modern, with high ceilings and expansive glass walls that reflected the glittering city lights, but you didn't get much of a chance to take it in. His focus was entirely on you, and you were too consumed by him to care about your surroundings.
The moment the door shut behind you, his hands found your waist, pulling you against him. His lips crashed into yours, hungry and demanding. There was no hesitation, no time for second thoughts. He guided you deeper into the house.
Jaemin's kiss was intoxicating, his tongue teasing yours as he deepened it, his hands gripping your hips like he never wanted to let go. You barely noticed when he guided you into a room, sitting you on the cool surface of a dresser. His body moved between your legs effortlessly, as if he'd always belonged there.
He pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, his dark eyes blazing with unspoken desire. "So pretty." He whispered, his voice rough yet tender. His lips found your jawline, trailing soft kisses down your neck. Each touch sent shivers cascading down your spine, his hands squeezing your thighs, pulling you closer to the edge of the dresser until there was no space left between you.
Your breath hitched as he kissed harsher now, his lips sucking at the sensitive skin of your neck, leaving marks. You couldn't stop the soft moans escaping your lips, your fingers tangling in his hair as he worked his way deeper into your senses. His touch, his scent, his presence—it was overwhelming.
Jaemin's hands slid lower, gripping the curve of your hips as he pressed you against him. He paused for a moment, his forehead resting against yours, his breathing ragged. "You sure about this?" He asked, his voice low.
You smiled, biting your lip, your voice barely steady. "I'm sure."
His lips curled into a smirk, satisfaction evident. Without wasting another moment, he lifted you off the dresser and turned you toward the large mirror across the room. Your reflection stared back at you, flushed and disheveled, as he bent you over the smooth wooden surface. His hands roamed down your sides, leaving goosebumps in their wake as his lips found the back of your neck.
"Look how pretty you are." He murmured, his deep voice washing over you. His eyes locked on yours through the mirror, a mixture of admiration and desire in his gaze.
As he slid your dress up over your hips, exposing more of your skin to the air, you felt your breath hitch. His lips trailed down the back of your neck, leaving a trail of soft, open mouthed kisses that sent tingles down your spine.
The warmth of his hands returned, firm and sure as they settled on your hips, holding you in place. One hand slid lower, his fingers brushing against the sensitive heat between your legs. Even through the fabric, the contact made you tremble.
His smirk widened as he watched your reflection react to his touch, your lips parting in a soft gasp. "And you're so wet for me already." He whispered, his tone teasing yet dripping with satisfaction.
You couldn't tear your eyes away from the mirror. His fingers pressed against you more firmly, circling in a way that had your knees weakening beneath you.
"You feel that?" He asked, his voice low and rough against your ear as he leaned over you, his chest brushing against your back. "That's how much you want this. How much you want me."
You nodded, unable to find your voice, your body responding to his touch in ways words couldn't capture. He grinned at your reflection, his confidence intoxicating as he pressed a kiss to the side of your neck.
"Good." He murmured, his breath hot against your skin. "Because I'm not stopping until I've had all of you. 
Jaemin's eyes stayed locked on yours through the mirror as he reached down, pulling away the last barrier of clothing keeping you from him. His gaze never left, taking in every inch of your exposed skin, the heat in his expression enough to make your pulse race. His fingers trailed teasingly along your inner thigh, drawing shivers from your body before finally sliding between your folds.  
When he slipped one finger inside, your breath caught, and a soft moan escaped your lips. "Jaemin." You whimpered, your head falling forward slightly as your body instinctively pressed back against his hand. He didn't hold back, setting a relentless pace that had your knees trembling almost immediately.  
"What's the matter?" He asked, his voice low and taunting, the faintest hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. "Can't handle it? You're gonna have a rough time if you can't even take my fingers princess." His laughter was dark and quiet through the room as he pushed another finger inside.  
"I can take it." You shot back, your voice laced with determination—though the words broke into a shaky moan as his fingers curled just right, brushing against that spot that made you see stars.  
"Yeah?" He replied, his tone both amused and challenging. He quickened his pace, his fingers pumping in and out of you, the slight curve of them sending waves of pleasure rolling through your body. "Then take it. Show me you can handle it."  
Your stomach tightened, the coil of heat building steadily as he worked you closer and closer to the edge. "Fuck... oh my god" You gasped, your hands gripping the edge of the dresser for support as your legs started to quake.  
Jaemin's smirk widened, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, "It's okay. Don't fight it. Just let go for me. Soak my fingers princess." His words were both commanding and soothing, pushing you right to the brink.  
"I'm there." You managed to choke out, your voice barely above a whisper as your body gave in. Your knees buckled, and a flood of warmth coursed through you.
Jaemin slowed his movements but didn't stop, milking every last tremor from your body before finally pulling his fingers out. He lifted his hand into view, his fingers glistening as he tilted them slightly.  
"Look." He said with a satisfied smile. "Look at what you did."  
You barely managed to lift your head, still catching your breath, but when your eyes met his in the mirror, the smirk on his face sent a fresh wave of heat through you. He brought his fingers closer, holding them in front of your lips.  
"Clean me up." He ordered softly, his eyes dark with desire.  
Your tongue flicked out, tasting yourself as you took his fingers into your mouth, your lips wrapping around them. The way he watched you, his gaze heavy and unwavering, sent a shiver down your spine. When you were finished, he pulled his fingers away slowly, a wicked grin spreading across his face.  
"Such a good girl for me." He murmured, leaning down to press a kiss to the corner of your mouth. 
"Turn around for me." Jaemin murmured, his voice low and commanding, sending a shiver down your spine. 
Before you could move, he grasped your chin gently, tilting your face up to his. His lips met yours in another deep, hungry kiss, his tongue sliding against yours. When he finally pulled away, his lips were slightly swollen, and his gaze burned into yours. 
"Now, take my pants off." He whispered.
You didn't hesitate. Your hands moved quickly to undo the button and zipper, pulling his pants down his hips and letting them pool around his ankles. Your fingers hovered teasingly at the waistband of his underwear for a moment, your eyes flicking up to meet his. The faint smirk tugging at the corner of his lips gave you all the encouragement you needed. You slid the last piece of fabric down, freeing him completely. 
"Good." He praised, his voice a soft growl. "Now turn back around." 
You obeyed, turning to face the mirror again. His hands settled on your hips as he stepped closer, the heat of his body radiating against your back. His lips brushed your ear as he spoke. 
"I want you to look at yourself the whole time I'm fucking you. Don't you dare look anywhere else. Do you understand?" 
"Yes." You whispered breathlessly, your body already trembling in anticipation. 
"Good." He murmured, his lips curving into a grin as he teased your entrance with the tip of his length. 
He paused for just a moment, his eyes locked on yours in the mirror, savoring the way your body reacted to his teasing. Then, without warning, he pushed his full length into you in one smooth motion. 
"Fuck." You whimpered, your fingers gripping the edge of the dresser as your body adjusted to the stretch. The sensation was overwhelming, every nerve alive and buzzing. 
"You're so fucking tight." Jaemin groaned, his voice a breathy moan, almost like a chuckle. His hands gripped your hips firmly, his fingers pressing into your skin as he began to move, his thrusts deep. 
"You're taking me so well." He murmured, his eyes dark and intense as they met yours in the mirror. "Like this pretty little hole was made just for me." His smirk was wicked, dripping with satisfaction as he watched you. 
The room filled with the sounds of skin meeting skin, your moans and his low groans. Every thrust was harder than the last, and his grip on your plush thighs tightened, holding you steady as he drove into you relentlessly. 
The pressure was overwhelming, instinctively your head began to lower, seeking relief from the intensity. 
"What did I tell you?" Jaemin's voice cut through, sharp and demanding. 
"To... to look up the whole time." You stammered, your voice shaky and weak. 
"Then why are you looking down?" He asked, his breath hitching slightly even as he kept his relentless pace. 
"It feels so good." You whimpered. "I... I can't take it." 
He chuckled darkly. "Then I'll make you take it." 
One of his hands slid into your hair, gripping a fistful and pulling your head back up. Your eyes met his in the mirror again, and the intensity in his gaze sent another wave of heat crashing through you. 
He picked up his pace, thrusting into you harder and deeper. The sound of your bodies colliding filled the room, drowning out everything else. Your back arched as he pulled your hair tighter, forcing you to keep your eyes on the mirror. 
"Such a filthy slut," he growled, his voice low and rough. "but you can't take it, hm?" 
You tried to respond, to form words, but all that escaped were broken moans and gasps, your voice caught in your throat as the pleasure built to an almost unbearable peak. 
"Fuck." Jaemin groaned, his pace faltering for just a moment as his thrusts grew rougher. "I'm almost there. You gonna cum with me?" 
You nodded frantically, unable to speak, your body trembling as your stomach tightened.
"Good fucking slut." He rasped, his grip on your hips tightening as he drove into you with one final thrust. 
The two of you came undone together, your release washing over you so intense you thought you might collapse. Jaemin's groans mixed with your cries as he spilled into you, his grip on your body grounding you as you both rode out the last moments of pleasure. 
His hands softened, sliding up your sides and pulling you gently against his chest. He pressed a kiss to your temple, his breathing still ragged. 
"You did so well." He whispered, his tone soft and full of praise. "So fucking perfect." 
You forgot about the fight with Haechan, about the rules you'd broken. Well, you tried, but as you got cleaned up you couldn't stop thinking about him.  ═════════════════════════ Jaemin had gotten a call that he needed to return to the casino to handle some business. The car ride back was unnervingly silent, and when you finally arrived, he didn't spare a moment. Without so much as a glance your way, he rushed inside, leaving you behind.
You sighed, shaking your head before following him in. You finally reached the office. Inside, Mark, Jisung, and Chenle were gathered in conversation over some paperwork.
"Where did you two go?" Mark asked, getting up from his chair the moment he saw you.
"To his house." You replied casually, brushing off the weight of the evening.
"To his what?" Mark stuttered, his voice rising slightly. His eyes flickered to Jisung, who immediately froze mid gesture.
"Are you okay?" Jisung added, a hint of worry in his tone as he exchanged a wide eyed look with Mark.
"Yes, I'm fine. Why are you asking me that?" You asked, growing defensive under their intense stares.
"Well..." Jisung hesitated, leaning back in his chair. "No one ever goes to Jaemin's house. I mean no one." He paused, sucking his teeth.
"Well, at least no one who's seen again." Chenle said without looking up from his papers.
You blinked at him, stunned by his bluntness. "I'm here, aren't I?" You replied, forcing a smile. "I really think he likes me."
Jisung and Mark exchanged another skeptical look, their eyebrows rising simultaneously.
"He definitely treats you differently." Jisung admitted.
Mark on the other hand scoffed lightly, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "You couldn't go after someone a little safer though?" He teased.
You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. "Someone like who?"
"Someone like Haechan." Mark suggested, his smirk widening.
"Haechan doesn't even like me." You shot back, shaking your head.
Mark's smile twisted slightly, awkwardness replacing his teasing. Chenle for the first time looked up from his papers and locked eyes with Jisung. A shared understanding passed between them.
"Oh, um... I don't think that's—" Mark started to say, but his words were cut off as the door swung open.
"What's up guys?" Haechan said, walking in like he owned the room. His sharp eyes swept over everyone, lingering briefly on you before moving on.
"Hey Haechan." Mark greeted, forcing a casual tone.
"Hey." You added, offering him a small smile.
Haechan nodded at you but didn't stop to engage, heading straight for Mark.
"Haechan." Mark blurted, clearly still in disbelief. "Y/n actually made it to Jaemin's house."
Haechan froze for a moment, then chuckled. "Yeah, I know." He said, his voice laced with sarcasm. "I'm surprised she made it back." His gaze flickered to you.
"What's that supposed to mean Haechan?" You asked, your voice rising slightly with offense.
"Oh, I don't know." He replied coolly. "Maybe that you could've been killed. You do realize no one makes it out of Jaemin's house, right?"
You glared at him. "Well, you never told me that."
"It's almost like I did though." He snapped, his jaw tightening.
"I survived, ok? I'm fine." You crossed your arms, but he wasn't looking at you anymore. He turned his back and walked toward the counter, busying himself with some documents.
Mark mouthed something to you, gesturing toward Haechan with pleading eyes: "Make it right."
You sighed deeply, swallowing your pride. Rubbing the back of your neck, you walked up behind Haechan and gently touched his arm. "Can we talk Haechan? Please?"
He stiffened at your touch, turning his head slightly to glance at you. His eyes were dark, and unreadable. "Didn't I tell you I was done with you?" He hissed. His words stung more than you cared to admit.
"Haechan, please." You said softly. "I don't want you to be done with me. Can we just... talk?"
For a moment, his expression softened, the anger in his eyes replaced by something you couldn't quite place. He sighed. "Fine, but only for a second."
He grabbed your wrist and pulled you out of the room, leading you down a secluded hallway. The narrow space left little room for distance, forcing you both closer than you'd been in weeks.
"What?" He asked sharply, his voice low and full with frustration.
"Haechan." You began, your voice quiet. "I'm sorry, but what did you expect me to do?"
"I don't know—maybe listen to me. Not break my trust. Not put yourself in danger." He shot back, his words tumbling out in a rush.
"I can protect myself." You said, trying to meet his gaze.
His laugh was bitter. "Y/n, Jaemin is dangerous. You seriously could've been killed. Do you have any idea how bad this night could've gone?"
"But it didn't," you countered. "I'm fine. I made it back."
"You think this is the end of it? You've put yourself in a situation you can't get out of. What happens when he gets angry at you? What happens if you piss him off—if one night he decides you're not worth his time anymore?" His voice cracked slightly, his vulnerability slipping through. "You don't get second chances with people like him."
You stepped closer, cupping his face in your hands. His breath hitched at the sudden touch, his eyes searching yours.
"Haechan." You whispered, "I know I've made mistakes. I know I've hurt you, but I trust you, and I need you to trust me too."
"It's not that I don't trust you." He murmured, his hands ghosting over your sides before he pulled them away. "I just... I can't let anything happen to you. I'll never forgive myself if I do."
You leaned in closer, your forehead brushing against his. "Nothing's going to happen. I promise, i'm right here."
For a moment, the world fell away as your lips met his. The kiss was soft, yet filled with an unspoken longing. When he pulled back his eyes were glossy, his lips slightly parted.
"Go home." He whispered.
"Haechan—"
"Go home." He repeated, shaking his head. "I'll call you a car, but you can't stay here."
Reluctantly you nodded. "Ok."
You lingered for a moment longer before turning and walking away, your heart heavy, but hopeful as you exited the casino.
══════════════════════════
It was another night that you had spent there without Haechan. It wasn't the first time, but after the talk you both had you wanted him to be there with you at least.
Taking a small break, you slipped into the back office when your phone buzzed with a notification.
"Darling, can you meet me in the private hallway, please? I know you're here."
Jaemin's text sent your heart racing. Without hesitation, you rushed to the hallway, trying to figure out what he wanted. When you arrived, you saw him standing there—with Haechan.
A smile played on Jaemin's lips as you approached. "You needed me?" You asked, glancing briefly at Haechan, whose expression was unreadable.
"Of course. I always need you princess." Jaemin replied smoothly. Then he turned to Haechan, his tone sharpening. "But I think Haechan needs you too. Isn't that right Haechan?"
"Jaemin, what are you talking about?" Haechan stammered, a nervous chuckle escaping his lips.
"Answer the question. Do you need her?" Jaemin pressed, his gaze unwavering.
Haechan's composure faltered. "Yes," he admitted softly. "I need her."
Jaemin smirked. "You know, I reviewed the security footage and saw you two here in this very hallway." His tone grew colder. "I don't like people taking what's mine Haechan, you know that."
"I'm sorry Jaemin. I didn't realize things were that serious between you two." Haechan said, glancing nervously at you.
Jaemin stepped closer. "Have you fucked her yet?"
The bluntness of the question caught Haechan off guard. "No." He replied quickly.
"But you've thought about it, haven't you?" Jaemin pressed, his voice dangerously calm. "You want to, don't you?"
Haechan hesitated, his throat dry. Jaemin had a way of knowing everything—even things you didn't fully realize about yourself.
"Yes." Haechan admitted, his voice barely audible.
"Yes what?" Jaemin demanded, tilting his head.
"Yes, I want to fuck her." Haechan said, glancing your way before looking down.
Jaemin turned his attention to you. "And what about you princess? You've thought about it too, haven't you?"
Your stomach churned. Lying wasn't an option—not with Jaemin. His piercing gaze demanded the truth.
"Yes," you confessed quietly. "I've thought about it." 
Haechan glanced up at you for a second, a gleam of light shining in his eyes. Jaemin's smirk widened. "Good. Tell me, which one of us do you want more?"
Your eyes flickered to Haechan for a moment, he shook his head, looking your eyes before you answered. "You Jaemin. Of course."
He seemed satisfied with your response. "Come here princess." He commanded softly.
You stepped closer.
"Get on your knees for me."
Obediently, you sank to your knees before him, looking up with wide, vulnerable eyes.
Haechan shifted uncomfortably. "Uh... maybe I should go—"
"No." Jaemin interrupted firmly. "Stay right here."
He turned back to you. "Princess, pull my pants down. Make me feel good. Maybe I'll forgive you."
You obeyed, your hands trembling slightly as you pulled his pants and underwear down, freeing him.
"Don't act shy." He teased, brushing a strand of hair out of your face. "You've seen it before."
You took him into your mouth slowly, earning a low groan from him. His hand found its way into your hair, guiding you gently at first, then with increasing intensity.
"Fuck, just like that." He praised, his voice husky.
Haechan's breath hitched as he watched. He tried to look away but couldn't, getting more turned on by the second.
Jaemin's grip on your hair tightened as he thrust deeper, his groans growing louder. "You're doing so good baby. Keep going."
The wet sounds him in your mouth filled the hallway, along with Jaemin's moans and the occasional choked gasp from you.
Haechan's hands clenched at his sides, his arousal straining against his pants.
"I'm close." Jaemin groaned, his movements growing frantic. "Let me finish in your throat."
Moments later, he spilled into your mouth, his release warm. You swallowed, wiping your face as Jaemin smiled down at you.
"You did so well princess." He murmured, stroking your cheek. Then his gaze shifted to Haechan.
"Now it's his turn."
"What?!" Haechan exclaimed, his voice rising. "I'm not sucking your dick Jaemin!"
Jaemin rolled his eyes. "You're such a fucking idiot Haechan. Y/n, baby, go to him."
You crawled over to Haechan, your eyes searching his for permission. "Can I?" You asked softly.
Haechan's lips parted as he nodded, his breaths shallow. "Yeah... you can."
Your fingers worked at his waistband, unbuttoning and unzipping slowly. When you freed him, his dick was hard and twitching.
"Are you sure?" You whispered again.
"Yes, I'm sure." He replied, his voice barely above a whisper.
You leaned forward, taking him into your mouth. His moans were soft at first, then grew louder as you moved. His hands hovered uncertainly before settling lightly on your head.
"Fuck Y/n." He whimpered, his voice cracking with pleasure.
Jaemin watched intently, a smirk tugging at his lips.
When Haechan's hips began to buck, Jaemin interjected. "Stop."
You and Haechan froze, turning to look at him.
"I want you to fuck her." Jaemin said, his tone low and commanding. "Finish inside her."
"Man you're a pervert." Haechan muttered under his breath before turning back to you. "Do you want this?" He asked, his voice tender.
"Yes." You answered, your cheeks flushed. "More than anything."
Moments later, Haechan had you pressed against the wall, your dress pushed up and underwear discarded. His movements were tentative at first, ensuring you were comfortable, but soon his thrusts grew harder, more desperate.
"Fuck, feels so good." He moaned out in a smile. He wanted you like this for a while, and now he finally had it, even if Jaemin was there to see it. 
"Gonna cum, Haechan." You moaned out, throwing your head back on the cold, hard wall. 
"Me too." he whimpered, becoming undone as your walls clenched around him. 
"You gonna finish deep inside me, hm? Fill me up with your seed?" You whispered out in a breathy moan. 
"Fuck, yes." Haechan whimpered out, twitching inside of you as your stomach tightened. 
Jaemin just watched the scene unfold, his cock twitching as he looked at the both of you moving on each other. He didn't want to admit it, but it was hotter than he imagined.
Haechan finished in you, taking a deep breath as he twitched in you for a second. You both came down from your highs, avoiding eye contact as he exited you.
"Well, that was worth watching." Jaemin spoke. "Now you two get cleaned up and meet me in the office. I have some news." You two obliged, getting cleaned up before meeting the others in the office. ══════════════════════════
The door swung open, and the room fell silent as Jaemin stepped in, his presence commanding as ever. His sharp gaze swept across everyone, warning them not to interrupt.
"Good to see everyone working so hard." Jaemin said with a faint smirk, his tone deceptively light. He sauntered toward your desk, stopping in front of you with an unreadable expression. "Y/n, stand up."
Confused, you obeyed, your eyes flickering to Haechan, who was already frowning. Mark and Chenle exchanged glances, but no one said anything.
Jaemin cleared his throat, placing a hand on your shoulder as he addressed the room. "I wanted to let you all know that Y/n will no longer be working here."
The air grew thick, you stiffening as your heartbeat pounded in your ears.
"What?" Haechan's voice was sharp, breaking the stunned silence. He stood up, his jaw clenched as he stared at Jaemin.
Jaemin smiled faintly, ignoring Haechan's outburst. "She's moving in with me."
Mark's eyes widened, and Chenle shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Jisung stared at the floor, unwilling to meet anyone's gaze. No one dared to speak out, but their unease was intense.
"Jaemin, I—" You started to say, but his hand tightened on your shoulder, silencing you.
"It's not up for discussion." Jaemin said, his gaze locking with Haechan's. "She'll be safer with me, and I'm sure you all understand that."
Haechan took a step forward, his fists clenched at his sides. "You can't just—"
"Haechan." Jaemin's voice was calm but carried an edge of warning. "It's done. You should be glad I'm looking after her."
You glanced at Haechan, seeing the hurt and anger swirling in his eyes. He looked at you with betrayal.
"Y/n." Jaemin said, his tone softening slightly as he turned to you. "Go wait for me outside. I'll join you in a moment."
You hesitated, looking back at Haechan, who shook his head slightly, as if begging you not to go, but you nodded at Jaemin and walked out of the room, your heart heavy.
The hallway was quiet, but you could hear Haechan's heavy footsteps behind you before he even said a word. You turned, catching the stormy look on his face as he approached.
"Y/n." He said, his voice low. "What the hell are you doing? You can't just go with him."
You blinked, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. "Why not? He's just being protective, right? I mean, he said I'll be safer with him." You shrugged, forcing a smile. "Makes sense to me."
Haechan stared at you like you'd just grown a second head. "Are you serious right now? You really think Jaemin's doing this out of the goodness of his heart?"
You tilted your head. "Well... yeah? I mean, he's been really sweet to me. Maybe he just, I don't know, likes me?"
Haechan let out a bitter laugh, rubbing his hand over his face. "Y/n, he doesn't like anyone. He doesn't care about anyone. You're not moving in with him because he's sweet on you—you're moving in with him because he wants to control you."
"That's a little dramatic." You said, crossing your arms. "He hasn't done anything to hurt me."
"Yet." Haechan snapped. "He hasn't done anything yet. Do you know how many people have gone to Jaemin's house and never been seen again? Do you know what kind of man he really is?"
You sighed, stepping closer and placing a hand on his arm. "Haechan, you're worrying over nothing. I'll be fine. He's not going to do anything to me—I mean, I survived last time, didn't I?"
"That's not the point!" Haechan snapped. "You're not taking this seriously, Y/n. He's dangerous. This isn't some fairytale where everything turns out fine just because you smile and say you'll be okay."
"I am okay." You insisted, your tone firm but still lighthearted. "You're just overthinking it. Jaemin likes me, and he's not going to hurt me. I mean, come on—look at me. Who would want to hurt this?" You gestured to yourself, flashing him a playful grin.
Haechan's jaw tightened, his frustration through the roof. "This isn't a joke Y/n. I'm not 'overthinking it.' I'm telling you you're walking straight into a trap, and you're acting like it's nothing."
You softened a little, stepping even closer. "Haechan, I get it. You're worried about me, and I appreciate that, but I need you to trust me. I know what I'm doing."
"No, you don't." He said flatly, his voice dropping. "You don't know anything about what you're doing. You're just... you're just trusting him like he hasn't already shown you who he is."
"I trust myself." You said, your tone turning stubborn. "And I trust you to be there for me if something does go wrong."
His eyes softened for just a moment before hardening again. "You shouldn't have to count on me to save you. You should listen to me before it gets to that point."
You shrugged, offering him a small, almost apologetic smile. "But where's the fun in that?"
"Y/n." He said sharply, stepping closer so you could see the anger and hurt in his eyes. "I'm not kidding. This isn't a game. If you go with him, I don't know if I'll be able to protect you. I don't know if I'll even see you again."
Your chest tightened at the raw emotion in his voice, but you kept your expression light. "You're being dramatic again. I'll be fine Haechan. I promise."
He stared at you for a long moment, searching your face as if trying to find some crack in your confidence. Finally, he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "You're impossible, you know that? If anything happens to you—"
"Nothing's going to happen." You interrupted, giving his arm a reassuring squeeze. "I'll be fine. You'll see."
He didn't look convinced, but he finally stepped back, letting you go. "Just... don't forget what I said." He said quietly, pulling you into a long hug. 
"I won't." You said holding him tightly, offering him one last smile before heading back to Jaemin.
As you walked away, you couldn't shake the nagging feeling that Haechan might be right—and that your stubbornness might cost you more than you were willing to admit. ══════════════════════════
At first, Jaemin's house felt almost like a dream. The kind of dream that was too extravagant to be real. He gave you the best room, stocked it with things he said he'd noticed you liked—your favorite snacks, clothes that fit perfectly, and books you'd mentioned in passing. The fridge was always full, the view from the balcony was breathtaking, and Jaemin himself was, well, everything you thought he'd be: charming, attentive, even affectionate.
For a while, it was easy to forget Haechan's warnings, but as the weeks passed little things started to feel... off.
It began with Jaemin's schedule. He started coming home later and later, offering vague excuses about "business." When you asked for more details, he'd give you a pointed look and a dismissive, "Don't worry about it."
Then there were the boundaries—ones you didn't even realize he'd set until you accidentally crossed them.
One day, you'd decided to take a walk around the neighborhood, needing some fresh air. When you got back, Jaemin was waiting for you in the living room, his posture unnerving.
"Where were you?" He asked, his tone calm but cold.
"Just outside." You said, shrugging. "I needed some fresh air."
"Next time, tell me first." He said, his voice dangerously quiet.
You blinked. "I didn't think it was a big deal—"
"It is." He interrupted, his eyes locking on yours. "You don't leave this house without telling me. Understood?"
The weight of his stare made your stomach twist, but you nodded. "Ok."
After that, things escalated.
One evening, you had gotten a call from Haechan. He wanted to check in, to make sure you were okay. Jaemin walked in while you were still on the phone, and the look on his face made your blood run cold.
"Who was that?" He asked once you hung up.
"Haechan." You said honestly. "He just wanted to see how I was doing."
Jaemin didn't say anything at first, but the tension in the room was suffocating. Finally, he leaned against the counter, his gaze sharp.
"You don't need to talk to him anymore." He said flatly.
You frowned. "What? Why not? He's my friend."
"Not anymore." Jaemin said, his voice calm but firm. "You're with me now. You don't need him."
"Jaemin, you can't just—"
"I can." He cut you off. "And I am. If you're going to be here, you follow my rules. No Haechan."
You stared at him, your heart pounding. "This is ridiculous."
"Is it?" He asked, stepping closer. "Or are you just too stubborn to admit that I know what's best for you?"
The way he towered over you, his eyes dark, made your throat tighten. You wanted to argue, to push back, but something in his demeanor stopped you.
From then on, Jaemin's behavior grew more controlling. He wanted to know where you were at all times, who you were talking to, what you were doing. If you questioned him, his responses ranged from smooth and manipulative to outright threatening.
"You're lucky I'm patient with you." He'd say with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Most people wouldn't tolerate this kind of behavior."
Or, "I'm keeping you safe. You don't realize how dangerous things could get if you don't listen to me."
Every time you thought about leaving, Jaemin's words echoed in your mind. "Where would you go? Back to Haechan? Do you think he'd be able to protect you from me? From the people I know?"
He said it so casually, but the threat was clear.
One night, you sat alone in your room, staring out at the city lights. You felt like a bird in a gilded cage—trapped, isolated, and unsure of how you'd gotten here. Haechan's warnings played on a loop in your head, and for the first time, you started to wonder if he'd been right all along. ══════════════════════════
Jaemin was in an unusually good mood when he walked into the room that evening. His face lit up with a rare excitement. 
"Get dressed." He said, his tone almost playful. "We're having a dinner tonight."
You looked up from the book you were pretending to read, your heart sinking. "A dinner? With who?"
"Someone important." He said, brushing off your question with a wave of his hand. "Wear something nice. I want you to look stunning."
That familiar unease settled in your chest. Jaemin's version of "important" usually meant trouble, but you didn't argue. Instead, you forced a smile and got up, heading to the closet to find something appropriate.
An hour later, you found yourself sitting in a private dining room of an upscale restaurant, your nerves on edge. Across from you sat a man Jaemin introduced as Jeno, a name that didn't mean anything to you, but clearly held weight with Jaemin.
Jeno was polished, with a sharp suit and a demeanor that put you on edge. He and Jaemin chatted easily, their conversation littered with inside jokes and references to "opportunities" and "potential".
"So." Jaemin said suddenly, turning to you with a wide smile. "I've been telling Jeno about you. He's impressed."
You blinked, caught off guard. "Impressed with what?"
"With your adaptability." Jaemin said smoothly, leaning back in his chair. "And your loyalty. Those are rare qualities."
Jeno nodded, his gaze piercing. "Jaemin speaks highly of you. That's not something he does often."
You offered a polite smile, but your palms were sweating. Something about the way they were both looking at you made you feel like a pawn in a game you didn't understand.
After dessert, Jaemin finally got to the point. "Jeno has a proposition for us." He said, his tone casual but his eyes glinting with something sharper. "An opportunity to make more money than we've ever dreamed of. Filthy rich."
Jeno chuckled, raising his glass in agreement.
"But it's not something we can do here," Jaemin continued, his gaze fixed on you. "We would have to move. Start fresh in a different country. Somewhere far from all of this."
Your stomach dropped. "Move? Where?"
"Europe, most likely." Jeno said, his voice smooth. "The details are still being finalized, but it's an opportunity you wouldn't want to miss."
You forced a laugh, trying to mask your growing unease. "This sounds... big."
"It is." Jaemin said, his eyes gleaming with excitement. "It's everything we've been working toward. This could change our lives Y/n."
Your heart was pounding, but you nodded along, not trusting yourself to say anything else.
That night, back at the house you couldn't hold it in anymore.
"You can't be serious about this." You said as Jaemin poured himself a drink.
He glanced at you, his expression already stiffening. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"Because it's insane." You said, your voice rising. "Moving our lives, moving to a different country... It's too much."
"It's not too much." He said, his tone sharp. "It's a chance to have everything we've ever wanted."
"Everything you've ever wanted." You corrected, crossing your arms. "You didn't even ask me if I wanted this."
Jaemin slammed his glass down on the counter, making you jump. "What do you think this has all been for? The late nights, the risks, the sacrifices? Do you think I'm doing this just for me?"
"I don't know Jaemin." You said, your voice trembling. "Sometimes it feels like you don't care what I want."
He took a step closer, his gaze dark. "You don't know what you want. That's the problem. You're scared of taking risks, of stepping out of your comfort zone, but I'm not. I see the bigger picture, and I'm trying to bring you along with me."
"I'm not scared." You shot back, though your voice lacked conviction.
"Then prove it." He said, his voice softening slightly, his eyes locking onto yours. "Trust me. I've never steered you wrong before, have I?"
You hesitated, your mind racing.
Jaemin's hand cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin in a way that made your heart ache. "I'm doing this for us." He said, his voice low and persuasive. "I want to build a life with you. Don't you want that too?"
Your defenses faded under the weight of his words and the intensity of his gaze. You wanted to believe him, to trust that he had your best interests at heart.
"Ok." You said finally, your voice barely above a whisper. "I'll do it."
A slow satisfied smile spread across his face. "That's my girl." 
But as he pulled you into his arms, a pit of unease settled in your stomach. ══════════════════════════ The Europe deal was finalized. Jaemin had been talking about it all morning, logistics and plans, leaving no room for hesitation. His excitement was infectious, but you couldn't shake the feeling of discomfort in your chest.
As he left to finalize more details with Jeno, you stood in the lavish bedroom he had claimed as yours and stared at your phone. It was time. You had texted Haechan. 
"Can you come over?"
It took a moment before the three dots appeared on the screen.
"What's wrong? Are you okay?"
You hesitated. Telling him the truth felt too dangerous, but you couldn't lie to him either.
"I'm fine. Just come. I'll send the address."
"I'm on my way. Don't ring the doorbell? Got it, but you're scaring me."
You smiled faintly, shaking your head. That was so like Haechan—always worrying about you, always trying to fix things.
The minutes ticked by slowly after you sent him the address. Your heart pounded in your chest, equal parts excitement and dread. You knew Jaemin would be dangerous if you didn't execute things right, but you couldn't bring yourself to care, it was time.
When you finally heard the soft knock on the balcony door, you exhaled sharply and hurried over to open it. Haechan stepped inside, his eyes immediately scanning your face.
"You scared me." He said, his voice low but firm. "Why did you call me here?"
You didn't answer right away. Instead, you grabbed his wrist and led him deeper into the room, shutting the door firmly behind you.
"Y/n, talk to me. You stopped talking to me before, so why now?" He urged, his brows furrowed.
Before you could answer, you both froze. The sound of heavy footsteps thundered down the hall, followed by the unmistakable voice of Jaemin.
"Y/n?" His tone was sharp, suspicious. You could hear the anger simmering beneath it. "What the hell is going on in there? Open the door."
Haechan's eyes widened, but you simply smiled, reaching up to lock the door.
"Y/n." Jaemin growled from the other side, rattling the handle. "Open this door right now."
"Sit down." You murmured to Haechan, your tone almost playful.
"What?!" He hissed, his panic barely contained.
"Sit down." You repeated, your hand on his chest as you pushed him gently back onto the bed.
"Y/n, I swear to God, if you don't open this door—" Jaemin's voice rose, his fist banging against the wood.
You ignored him entirely, your focus solely on Haechan. His eyes darted nervously to the door, but when your lips met his, all his resistance melted away.
"Are you seriously doing this right now?" He whispered against your lips, his voice a mix of disbelief and desire.
"I missed you." You murmured, climbing onto his lap, feeling the warmth radiate from his body.
The banging on the door grew louder, Jaemin's voice a scream now. "Y/n, I'm not playing games with you. Open this damn door!"
But you didn't care. For the first time in months, you felt free.
"Y/n, I don't think this is the time. We have to get out of here." Haechan muttered, a hint of concern lacing his words.
"Do you not miss me too?" You asked, your voice soft, yet teasing as you pushed him down onto his back, your body hovering over him.
"Of course I miss you." He responded, his breath hitching as he gazed into your eyes.
"Then shut up and kiss me." You replied, your heart racing as you leaned in, capturing his lips with yours once more.
When his lips met yours, it was as if the world outside ceased to exist. The frantic knocking and Jaemin's angry shouts faded into the background.
Haechan wrapped his hands around your waist, pulling you as close as he could. You fumbled with the button of his jeans, unzipping them with trembling fingers as your lips remained locked together, lost in each other.
With a swift motion, you pulled down his pants and underwear, and he mirrored your actions, shedding your own clothes in a flurry of urgency and desire. 
He sat up, holding you securely in his lap as you sank down onto him, both of you letting out a long awaited moan that lingered in the air.
"Fuck, I miss you so much." He whimpered, breaking the kiss to catch his breath, his forehead resting against yours, eyes filled with a mix of passion and lust.
"I missed you too baby. I told you I'd be fine." You smiled, leaning into him again, feeling the warmth of his skin against yours.
As you began to move, the moans that escaped your lips grew louder, a deliberate tease for Jaemin outside, who was still banging on the door.
"I'm almost there." You moaned, breaking the kiss and resting your head in the crook of his neck, feeling the tension coil tightly in your stomach as you clenched around him.
"Me too." He whispered, his voice strained with pleasure. He held you tightly as you both rode out your highs together, lost in a world that was just the two of you.
In that moment, nothing else mattered—no angry knocks, no outside world—just the intoxicating connection between you and Haechan.  ══════════════════════════
"Haechan, you have to go." You whispered, removing yourself from on top of him.
"Y/n, this is insane." He whispered fiercely, his eyes wide with fear and frustration. "We need to leave together. He's going to kill you!"
You stepped closer to him, your hands brushing his as you looked into his panicked eyes. "No Haechan. You need to leave. Go to the casino and wait for me there. I'll handle this."
"Handle this? Y/n, you're not listening! You can't face Jaemin alone!" His voice cracked as he spoke with despair.
You placed a hand on his cheek, trying to calm him. "I know you're scared. I am too, but I need you to trust me ok? I've got this."
His jaw clenched, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation. "Let me be the one to face him. Please. If anyone's going to take the risk—"
"No." You cut him off firmly. "This is my fight Haechan. I need you to leave now. If you stay, you'll only make things worse."
He stared at you, his lips pressed into a thin line. Finally, he let out a shaky breath and nodded. "Fine, but if you're not at the casino in an hour I'm coming back for you. I mean it."
You gave him a small reassuring smile. "I'll be there."
Reluctantly he climbed over the balcony railing, glancing back at you one last time before disappearing.
You turned back to the door, unlocking it and stepping aside just as Jaemin stormed in, his eyes full of fury. He scanned the room quickly, his gaze snapping to you.
"Where is he?" He demanded, his voice low.
"He's gone." You said calmly, crossing your arms.
Jaemin's expression darkened, and in a swift motion, he pulled a gun from the back of his waistband, pointing it directly at you.
"Don't lie to me." He growled.
Your heart pounded, but you didn't flinch. Instead, you stepped forward, closing the gap between you and the barrel of the gun. "Shoot me then." You said, your voice steady.
Jaemin's hand trembled, the gun shaking slightly as he stared at you in disbelief. "You think I won't?"
"I think you won't." You said, your eyes locked on his. "Because you need me."
For a moment, he stood frozen, the weight of your words sinking in. Then with a frustrated growl he lowered the gun, tossing it onto a nearby chair.
"Why do you always have to make things so difficult?" He snapped, running a hand through his hair. "I'm trying to protect you—to take care of you. Don't you see that?"
You let out a sharp laugh, shaking your head. "Protect me? Jaemin the only person you care about protecting is yourself. All of this—Europe, the business—it's not about us. It's about you and your greed."
"You're wrong." He insisted, stepping closer. His voice softened, dripping with fake sincerity. "We could have everything together Y/n. Power, money, freedom. Just say yes and I'll give you the world."
But weren't falling for it. You stepped back, your expression cold. "No Jaemin. Here's what's going to happen. You're going to Europe, transfer all your assets to the casino and you're signing it over to Haechan."
His face twisted in anger. "Do you think I'm stupid? Do you really think I'd give everything up because you asked me to?"
He stepped closer, his tone turning darker. "If you think you can threaten me you're wrong. I'll kill you, and Haechan too."
You smirked, unbothered by his threats. "You won't touch either of usJaemin. Because if anything happens to me, there are people who will make sure you pay for it. Dirty cops, powerful people. They'll come for you—and only you."
His eyes narrowed, his jaw clenching. "You're bluffing."
"Am I?" You challenged. "Go ahead. Try me. You'll find out just how serious I am."
For the first time, Jaemin hesitated, the confidence in his demeanor fading. He stared at you, his mind clearly racing.
"You're lucky I'm keeping you alive." You said, your voice low and sharp. "Because you didn't have the decency to do the same."
His brows furrowed in confusion. "What the hell are you talking about?"
You tilted your head, your smirk growing. "Do you seriously not remember my face?"
Jaemin's expression froze. For a moment, his mask slipped, and you saw the flicker of recognition in his eyes, but just as quickly he composed himself, his lips curling into a bitter smile.
"I don't know how I could forget." He said, his voice laced with sarcasm. "Guess I didn't look that deep in your eyes."
You raised an eyebrow, stepping closer. "Well, you should've because now those eyes are the last thing you'll ever underestimate."
Jaemin's smirk fell, and for the first time, you felt the power shift entirely into your hands. ══════════════════════════
The casino buzzed with its usual energy, but all eyes turned to the center of the room when Jaemin strode in with you at his side. He walked with purpose, his expression a mix of authority and resignation. The usual crowd. Mark, Haechan, Jisung, Chenle, paused their work to watch as Jaemin climbed onto the small stage at the front of the room.
"I have an announcement to make." Jaemin began, his voice carrying across the space. "I am resigning and stepping away from the business. I'll be signing over the casino to Haechan, and after today you'll never see me again."
The room erupted in stunned murmurs. Jisung's jaw dropped, Chenle stared in disbelief, and Haechan blinked rapidly, trying to process what he just heard.
"You're signing it over to me?" Haechan asked.
Jaemin nodded. "Yes. I've decided that you're the best fit to take over."
Haechan shook his head, his lips pressed into a thin line. "I don't want it. Mark deserves it more than anyone. He's the one who's been running this place while the rest of us deal with... other things."
Mark's eyes widened. "Haechan...what?"
"You're the one who works the hardest." Haechan insisted. "This place wouldn't even function without you. You should take it."
Jaemin turned to you, his brows knitting together. "What do you think?"
You gave a small shrug, your expression calm. "That's fine with me."
Without further argument, Jaemin stepped down and signed the paperwork to transfer permanent ownership to Mark. The room was silent as he set down the pen and turned to face everyone.
"Guess that's it." Jaemin said, his voice tinged with something like relief. He looked at you, his smirk returning. "Can I at least get a kiss goodbye princess?"
You walked up to him, leaning in as if you were going to fulfill his request. Instead you whispered in his ear. "Fuck you." Before planting a quick kiss on his cheek. Stepping back, you waved with an exaggerated flourish.
"Goodbye Jaemin. Don't come back."
Jaemin chuckled softly, shaking his head. "You're a piece of work." With that he turned and left the casino, disappearing into the night for good.
Mark looked dazed, clutching the paperwork like he couldn't believe what just happened.
Haechan rushed to you, pulling you into a tight hug. "You're okay, I can't believe you pulled this off."
Chenle leaned against the counter, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah, what did you do? Spill."
You gave him a sly smile. "That's a secret."
Jisung shrugged. "That's fine. We're just glad you're back."
The group laughed, but the mood shifted when you cleared your throat. "Actually... I'm going back home."
The laughter stopped, and everyone stared at you.
"What?" Haechan asked, his voice low.
"I need to get away from all this." You said softly. "It's been... a lot. I just need some time to figure things out."
The room was quiet for a moment before Mark nodded. "We get it. You've been through so much. You deserve to take care of yourself."
Everyone murmured their agreement, but Haechan looked crushed. "You're leaving again? Y/n come on. You dropped out of school anyway—why not stay? Stay with me."
You gave him a small smile, touching his arm. "I need to do this Haechan. Please understand."
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Fine, but we're driving to your apartment to get your stuff. I'm not letting you leave without spending time with you first."
You grinned. "Deal, but... can I drive your car?"
He raised an eyebrow. "You want to drive my car?"
"Yeah." You said grinning.
He hesitated, then handed you the keys with a playful eye roll. "Fine, don't crash it."
The drive to your apartment was smooth, the atmosphere between you and Haechan lighter than it had been in days. Once inside, the two of you collapsed onto the couch, the worry finally melting away.
Haechan leaned back, looking at you curiously. "Wait... How did you know how to get to the casino by yourself? I mean yeah, we've driven there a lot, but you can't even remember how to get to my place half the time."
Your smile fell for a moment, and you shifted in your seat. "If I tell you the truth, don't get mad, ok?"
His eyes narrowed slightly, a teasing edge to his voice. "What did you do Y/n?" ══════════════════════════
The apartment was quiet except for the faint hum of the air conditioning. Haechan stared at you from the couch, his brows furrowed with curiosity and confusion.
You took a deep breath, suddenly feeling the weight of the secret you'd carried for so long. You sat next to him, avoiding his gaze as you started.
"When I was 18 I lived in another state with my parents." You began, your voice soft but steady. "They were... rich. Very rich, but it wasn't clean money. They were involved in something shady, but they never told me what it was. I didn't ask—I didn't want to know."
Haechan's expression softened as he listened, sensing the shift in your tone.
"One night, I was in my room when I heard gunshots. I froze, I didn't know what to do. I peeked out of my door, and... I saw them. My parents lying there on the floor... dead."
Haechan's eyes widened, and his hand instinctively reached for yours.
"There were three men." You continued. "They were cleaning up the mess, moving things around, making it look like it didn't happen there, and then I saw him. The one in charge, and I remember his face so clearly... Jaemin."
He leaned back stunned. "Jaemin?"
You nodded. "I'll never forget that face. The way he looked so calm, so... collected. He even sat at my large family photo, looked at us smiling together and didn't care. I didn't know what to do so I ran. I left the state, and I spent months trying to figure out who he was and what my parents were involved in. That's how I found out about the underground casino."
Haechan stayed silent, his jaw tightening as he processed your words.
"I found out where it was and applied to a college nearby. I needed to get close to Jaemin, but I couldn't just walk into his life. So, I went to the casino to check it out. At first, I thought I had the wrong place. It looked like an ordinary gas station."
You gave a small, bitter laugh. "I was ready to call the cops and let them handle it, but then... by pure chance. I saw someone leaving through the back behind the beaded curtains... I saw you."
Haechan stiffened, realization dawning on him. "Wait... me?"
You nodded again. "I recognized you later at school. We had classes together, and I knew if I wanted in, I had to get close to you. So, I told you this elaborate story about being broke and needing money for tuition. I even thought you'd get suspicious because of my nice apartment, but you didn't. You felt sorry for me, and you trusted me. That's when you introduced me to the casino— you were my way in."
He blinked, his expression a mix of hurt and disbelief. "So... you used me."
"It wasn't like that." You said quickly, placing a hand on his arm. "At first yes, it was about Jaemin. The plan was always to take him down, but then I got to know you. I started to care about you a lot."
Haechan's jaw tightened, but he didn't pull away. "What's going to happen to Jaemin?"
"When he gets to Europe, he's going to be arrested. I've been working with people—dirty cops, private investigators. I made sure that he'll be broke, with no way to come back here or rebuild. Everyone here will be fine. The business is safe, and so are you."
Haechan looked down, shaking his head. "You planned all of this... from the beginning?"
"Yes." You admitted, your voice trembling slightly. "I had to. He destroyed my family. But I promise you... I never meant to hurt you."
He was silent for a long moment before finally looking at you. "So what now? You're just... leaving?"
"I have to." You said softly. "This isn't my world. I've done what I needed to do. I need to go back home, to where I belong. But..." You hesitated, looking into his eyes. "If you want... you could come with me."
Haechan's eyes widened. "You're serious?"
"I'm serious." You said with a small smile. "Come with me, stay with me. We can leave all of this behind and start over."
He let out a breath, his shoulders relaxing as he processed your words. "Ok." He said, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Let's go."
The two of you packed up your things, leaving behind the chaos of the casino and everything it represented. Weeks later, you found yourselves in your home state, in a house far removed from the shadows of your past.
Haechan stood on the balcony, looking out at the peaceful view. "You know." He said, glancing back at you, "I never thought I'd end up here— with you."
You smiled, wrapping your arms around his waist. "Me neither, but I'm glad we did."
He turned to you, his expression serious. "No more secret ok?"
"No more secrets." You promised.
And for the first time in a long time, you both felt free.
══════════════════════════
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justagalwhowrites · 7 months ago
Text
Can't Stay Away - A QZ!Joel Miller Fic
Years after you turned to Joel for help getting out of a bad relationship, he can't seem to stop coming back to you.
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Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader
CW: Angst (duh), Joel is a bit of an asshole (that's the point and it makes him even hotter, I fear), mention of past domestic violence (not described), injury from past domestic violence, threat of continued domestic violence. unprotected P in V sex, breeding kink, fantasizing about pregnancy (doesn't actually happen.) Minors DNI 18+ only, no use of Y/N.
Length: 4.1k
A/N: Shared for the Joel Miller Birthday Celebration found on Tumblr here. This is QZ!Joel with Secret Relationship and Breeding Kink. I hope you enjoy!
Masterlist | AO3
“Where the fuck else is there to go?” Tommy asked, shucking his mud-covered boots and leaving them in a pile by the door. 
“Just got business to take care of,” Joel said, voice rough. 
“It’s pourin’ rain, man,” his brother said, dropping his drenched pack to the table as if to make a point. “We didn’t even know we were makin’ it back tonight until fuckin’ tonight. Just stay home.” 
“Wanna get this done,” Joel said, taking his portion of their haul from his pack and piling it on the table. He left just one thing inside the pack. “Probably won’t be back ’til morning.” 
Tommy just pursed his lips, shaking his head a little. 
“Just don’t do anything stupid, Joel.” 
Joel didn’t say anything back. What did he have to say? 
Tommy had every reason to worry about him being stupid. Every reason to believe that Joel was going to do something that would hurt their smuggling operation. Every reason to believe that Joel was going to do something that would hurt himself. 
Which, he supposed, wasn’t particularly far off. 
You were, indeed, something stupid and something that would hurt him. 
You were his biggest indulgence and his biggest risk, the thing that was the largest threat to him here in the Boston QZ. 
Ex-wife of a FEDRA guard, Joel should avoid you. 
His work was dangerous enough as it was, he shouldn’t make it more dangerous by messing around that close to the people who could execute him if they really wanted, especially not with someone they seemed to take pleasure in tormenting.
But he couldn’t seem to stay away from you. 
He couldn’t put his finger on what it was. It wasn’t that he loved you. Not that he’d ever really loved a woman - he’d tried with Sarah’s mom and was sure he’d come up short - but he knew he didn’t have it in him to love anything now. The aching wound of loss took up too much of him, there wasn’t space for anything else.
But he did care. Whether that was because he was attached to you as a person or because you made him come so hard he forgot the world ended for a moment, he didn’t know. 
He supposed the why didn’t matter. He cared. He cared enough that he couldn’t lose you without it adding to that wound, one that had damn near killed him and had seemed to have only grown worse with time. 
That should be enough of a reason to stay away from you. Hadn’t he learned his lesson by now? That giving a shit only led to pain? That if he was going to keep surviving any of this, he had to be far, far away from something like you? 
Still, he made his way through the QZ, the pouring, cold rain fitting the grim environs. Everything here was slightly wrong. It looked something like a city from before but not. It appeared as though things could be normal, somewhere, except they weren’t. It seemed as though Joel had been tailor made for this place, this time. Living some kind of half life where everything was shades of gray, nothing left to live for but - apparently - not able to die. The last gasp of humanity left in him clinging to this world. 
That made you a shade of gray, too, one he wasn’t sure what to do with. 
It had started years earlier, when you were desperate and willing to trade sex for a gun. 
Joel hadn’t taken you up on the offer then, frowning as you watched him with wide, desperate eyes. 
“The hell do you need a gun for?” He’d asked. “If you don’t already got one, hard pressed to see someone like you startin’ in on a business that needed one.” 
“Does it matter?” You asked. “I’ll give you what ever you want, please.” 
“Matters to me,” Joel said. “Not about to arm someone looking to move in on my business.” 
“It’s not for that.” 
“Then you shouldn’t have a problem tellin’ me what it is for,” he replied. 
You looked around, cagey, before lowering your voice further. As though talking about an illegal weapons trade wasn’t enough of a reason to keep quiet. 
“I’m leaving my husband,” you said, those wide, soft eyes watching him so closely. “He’s FEDRA and he’s made it clear that he won’t let me go without a fight. I need to be able to protect myself, please, I can give you ration cards as I earn them, I can… I’ll do anything else you might want, I…” 
“Stop,” Joel cut you off, tears starting at the edges of your eyes. He took his hand gun from its place tucked in the small of his back and passed it to you as discreetly as he could. “There, now you got somethin’. Meet me here tomorrow, same time, I’ll get you more ammo. Know how to use it?” 
“Don’t I just point it and pull the trigger?” You asked, brows raised. 
He just sighed. 
“Think you can keep from usin’ it until tomorrow?” He asked. You nodded quickly. “Good. I’ll show you.” 
“Thank you,” you said, stashing the weapon quickly. “What… what do I owe you?” 
The fear in your voice made his stomach turn.
“Nothin’,” Joel said. “Fine on ration cards at the moment. Don’t trade in the other shit. Tomorrow. Don’t be late.” 
 You just nodded quickly, thanking him with too much earnest hope in your voice for something being spoken to him.
Joel spent the afternoon the next day teaching you how to shoot as best he could inside the QZ. Turns out, the reason you didn’t already know how is that you’d been in Boston during the outbreak. You’d just moved there with your shitbag of a husband a few weeks before it all came crashing down. You’d never really needed to fight, let alone shoot or kill. You never needed a gun. 
Until your husband started hitting you. 
Joel learned quickly exactly why you felt like you needed to be armed. He’d put a hand on your ribs to adjust your stance and you hissed in pain. Joel pulled away quickly, frowning as you tried to hide your pained expression but it didn’t work. 
“You gonna tell me what that was?” He asked, brows raised. You clenched your jaw and stared at the ground. 
“It’s not your business.”
“I’m helpin’ you, your husband is a fucking FEDRA officer, if you’re about to haul off and kill him I should know why,” he said, voice heated. “So tell me, he do that?” 
Your eyes finally met his and he didn’t need to ask again. 
“Lemme see.” 
“Joel…” 
“Show me,” he said, voice sharp. 
You sighed and lifted your sweatshirt, revealing discolored and swollen skin along one side. 
Joel clenched his jaw. 
“It’s gotten worse,” you said quietly. “I can’t keep pretending it’ll be OK if we just get through this, I can’t pretend like he hasn’t been building toward this for years. I need to get out before he kills me.” 
Joel stepped back and you lowered your shirt, your eyes on his. 
“He bigger than you?” He asked. You nodded. “Alright, gonna teach you a few more things, too…” 
He showed you how to protect yourself without a gun and how to end a conflict with one. He hoped you wouldn’t need to use either. After a few days of showing you how to do the things he’d assumed just came with the territory of surviving the end of the world, you went your separate ways. 
But Joel still thought of you, an odd twinge in his chest when he did, something like concern. He wanted you to be OK. He couldn’t put his finger on why that would matter to him but he wanted that, he wanted you to be safe and happy. 
So when he ran into you on the street a few months later, he couldn’t help but ask. And you smiled at him, brighter than he’d ever seen you look, when you told him that you had your own place now, that the gun he’d given you had never been fired. It was hard, but you’d survived. 
The two of you went to the speakeasy and you bought Joel a drink, saying you owed him for helping you get out of your situation. He let you buy the first round. He bought the second. Before too long, he was in your apartment, pulling off your clothes and touching your body without you flinching away from him. 
You became like a drug to him then. Every few nights he found himself outside your door, desperate for the reprieve you and your sex gave him. Some sense of normalcy, the ability to feel something beyond the crushing weight of loss, that brief moment when he was buried inside you and reaching his peak that the rest of the world fell away and he existed on a plane where nothing bad had ever happened to him and he’d never done anything to deserve it. 
He tried to pretend like that release is all it was. But then there were moments where he couldn’t deny that it was more. The time where he passed you on the street and your eyes met his and he wanted to go talk to you, to see why your eyes seemed dark and sad, but there was a FEDRA guard watching you from the corner and he couldn’t risk it, not for either of you. The time he showed up at your door and heard yelling and he pretended to be a neighbor to intervene. All the times he held you as you fell asleep nestled against his skin, soft and beautiful and trusting, all things that should have been driven out of you in the QZ. All things you should never have been with him in the first place. 
He swallowed those moments, tried to not let the fear and panic they sparked inside of him take over. The last time he loved someone, they died. The last time he loved someone, it almost killed him. He couldn’t love you. He couldn’t risk it. 
But here he was, at your door again, anyway.
He tried to stop himself from knocking but all it did was make his hand stutter before he did what he always did: wait for you to let him in. 
“Joel?” You opened the door in an oversized t-shirt and boxers, looking groggy. “You’re back.” 
You threw your arms around his neck and pulled him inside, pressing your body against his, burying your face in the hollow of his throat and he let himself breathe you in, remind himself that you were safe. 
“I was so worried about you,” your voice was muffled in the wet fabric of his shirt. “I heard some things from people at the gate and…” 
“The gate?” He frowned, pulling back from you. “The hell were you doin’ down there?” 
You looked at him, your lower lip going between your teeth, fingers twisting on themselves. 
“What. Were you doin’. At the gate.” 
“I heard something at work,” you said quietly. “About a patrol getting overrun by infected and… I wanted to see if there were signs of other people getting hurt, I’m sorry, I couldn’t just sit here and wait for you and not know…” 
“You can’t do shit like that,” he said roughly. “It ain’t safe, your fuckin’ husband is always looking for a reason to make your life hell, he would have me and Tommy killed if he knew about us, you can’t just…” 
“I know.” 
“Then why’d you do it?” He smacked his hand against the tabletop, making you flinch, hating himself for scaring you even for a moment. “I know you fuckin’ know better!” 
“Because I care about you!” You yelled, your voice thick. “Is that such a crime?” 
Joel crumpled at that, shoulders slouching. 
“That’s…” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “That ain’t what this is, honey, you know that.” 
“I know,” you said again, voice soft. “I’m not expecting anything from you, Joel, I know better than that. I just… I’m not just going to pretend that you’re nothing to me. Life is too short for that.” 
His heart thudded against his ribs, so hard it felt like a bruise. 
“I can’t…” 
“I know,” you whispered, reaching up and cupping his cheek. “It’s OK. I know.” 
He should have turned to leave then, he was smart enough to know that. But your hand was soft on his skin, your body was warm next to his, your eyes were welcoming and understanding in a way that nothing else had been since he’d lost the only thing that mattered. 
So he kissed you.
It wasn’t something that was soft and romantic, nothing like what you deserved, nothing like how he would have kissed you if he’d known you before. Instead it was fierce, devouring, harsh enough that he knew his stubble must be scratching your skin and he didn’t care. All he cared about was getting more of you. 
You tugged him back toward your bedroom, Joel stepping out of his boots as he went. He dropped his pack on the floor and tugged your shirt up and over your head, casting it aside. He ran his hands over your bared skin, your flesh pebbled where the cold, wet of his shirt touched you. He pulled that off, too, before he could do anything that hurt you, even for a moment. Christ knew you had enough of that behind you, the look on your face when he’d lost control just a minute before already a scar in his mind, adding to the scars on your skin from your marriage he wished he could go back and stop. 
You undressed each other quickly, desperately, and he all but threw you on the bed once you were naked. He followed you there, shedding the last of his clothes before crawling up your body, his finger tracing your slit to spread you open just enough that he could get his thick, hard cock inside. 
He should be more careful with you, he knew that. But he didn’t have the patience and you’d never, even once, asked him to slow down or be gentle. So he pushed himself inside with one sharp, hard stroke, making you gasp and arch beneath him as he groaned at the feeling of your tight cunt. You whimpered as he stilled deep inside, adjusting to how you held him, fighting to keep from coming too quick because you felt too goddamn good but he couldn’t waste it, not this fast. 
“You’re OK,” he panted, his mouth against your shoulder. “You can take it, baby, know you can, take it so well.” 
He felt you nod against him, your hands trembling as they went to his back, holding him close. 
“Just take it,” he said as he started to fuck into you, caving to his baser instincts and letting himself have you the way you seemed so willing to give yourself to him. “Just take it, honey, just let me… let me…” 
Your hips rolled to meet his, your nails digging into his skin. 
“Feels so good, Joel,” you whined against him. “Fuck, I missed you, you feel, you feel, I…” 
He kissed you, swallowing your babbling before you had a chance to complete your thought. He couldn’t hear what he was afraid was coming, a line he couldn’t bring himself to cross. There was so much he couldn’t give to you, so much that he knew you deserved but was too selfish to give you up so you could find it. 
But fuck, did he wish he could give you that. In another time, another place, another reality entirely, he could. He knew that. In some other world, one where humanity wasn’t gone and his daughter was still breathing, he would give you everything. In that world, he would love you. He would open your car door and share inside jokes and care for you in a way no one else could. In that impossible world, you and him lived in a little house with a garden out front and a spare bedroom where Sarah stayed when she came for a visit because she would be an adult now, with a life of her own instead of forever frozen at 14. In that reality, you were his in every way. His ring was on your finger, his roof over your head, his baby in your womb. He wouldn’t need to hide it then, wouldn’t need to tiptoe around FEDRA, wouldn’t need to be afraid of what loving you might mean. He could fuck you until you were full of him, so full that you carried part of him inside of you for months, your body growing and changing with it and then no one would ever question that you were his, fucking his. 
Your pussy drew tight around him as your fingers wound tight in his hair. Your nipples were hard against his chest, the plush of your breasts pressed to his front as your thighs tightened around his hips. 
He pulled his mouth from yours to kiss and suck his way down your neck to your chest, pressing himself deep inside you and letting himself pretend - just for a moment - that the reality he occupied was one where he could have you, really have you. That the two of you were in a cozy bedroom with furniture he built for you with a room a few doors down that you’d already started looking at cribs and changing tables to fill it with. 
“Gonna come,” you panted, your hips stuttering against him as he pressed inside, forcing the head of his cock against the soft, tender place deep within you. “Fuck, don’t stop, don’t stop, I’m gonna… I… I…” 
He was so close to his peak that he almost wanted you to say it. He wanted you to say it while he came deep inside you, leaving himself there so it could take, so he could watch you grow his child and take care of you through it, so he could take care of both of you after. Claim you so thoroughly that when you were in the QZ there was no question that you were his, not with his baby inside you and his arm around your shoulders. 
He wanted it. He wanted it so bad that, in that moment with his cock buried inside you as you keened below him, he didn’t care if it fucking killed him. 
Joel came apart when you did, the fluttering of your tight little hole sending him over the edge, the high of nothing else in the world mattering outside of you and the hot clutch of your body swallowing him whole for one glorious moment. 
But, as always happened, he came back down to earth, still held in the cradle of your hips, still breathing the scent of your skin, still lost in the wasteland that was once the world. 
He didn’t kiss you as he pulled out of you, collapsing on the bed next to you, closing his eyes for a moment to keep from looking at you too long. 
“You gotta be more careful,” he said after a moment. 
You were silent long enough that he looked over at you, finding you on your side facing him but staring down at the mattress. 
“I know,” you said eventually. 
“I’m not trying to be an asshole,” he said, his voice gentle. Or as gentle as he seemed to be able to make it now, anyway. “But you know what happened the last time he thought you were seein’ someone. If killing him would fix it, I would, but I can’t kill every fucking FEDRA guard who’d take it out on you and I’m not gonna be the reason you get hurt.” 
“I know,” you said again, looking at him this time. “But I… I just…” 
“I know,” he said it this time, his stomach twisting. 
You just nodded. 
“You deserve better,” he said eventually. “Shouldn’t let me treat you the way I do.” 
“I don’t mind.” 
“You should,” he snapped and then sighed, staring at the ceiling again. “Sorry for scarin’ you before. When I hit the table. I… I would never…” 
“I know,” you said, more confidently then. He looked back to you, frowning. “I’m not afraid of you, Joel. I know better about that, too.” 
He was silent again, going back to staring at your water-stained ceiling. 
“Should probably take a break,” he said eventually. “Not see each other for a bit.” 
“It wouldn’t change anything,” you said quietly. He frowned, watching you again. “I know myself. I know how I feel. It’s OK. I don’t expect anything from you. Not even this.” 
His eyes searched yours and he let himself try to reach some other version of him on some other plane, one where things were safe and he was in the bed you shared with him in the home you made together. A version where he could be honest with you and it wouldn’t destroy him. 
“I’d give you more if I could,” he said instead. 
You smiled ever so slightly, a gentle curve to your lips. 
“I know,” you said softly. “Believe it or not, I know you, too, Joel.” 
He let himself look at you for a moment, let that terrifying wound at the center of him hurt where he could really feel it, to feel the horror of what letting himself love you would be. 
“It’s OK,” you whispered as you reached out and brushed his curls back, your fingertip grazing the scar at his temple. “I’ll just love you, anyway.” 
He stayed in your bed that night, lying awake as you slept against him, ignoring the scream of panic at the core of him to run while he still could. He knew it couldn’t last. He knew he couldn’t rest like this, not with you this close, not in this awful place with that awful hurt. But he couldn’t leave you either. Not like this. 
“Oh,” he said the next morning when it was still dark so he could slip back to his own apartment before some FEDRA prick was awake to see him leaving your place. “Almost forgot.” 
He pulled a scarf from his pack, the one thing he hadn’t left at home after this run. It was thick, the knit heavy, a color that made your eyes shine. Not that he had pictured you wearing it with those eyes of yours when he’d picked it up. He held it out to you and you frowned, confused, as you took it. 
“Winter is around the corner and you were cold all the time last year,” he said gruffly. “Don’t want you freezin’ to death.” 
You smiled a little, running your fingers over the pattern knit into the yarn. 
“Thank you,” you said, holding it to your chest and looking back to him. “I really needed this, Joel.” 
He just grunted, pulling his pack on and heading for the door. 
“I’m gonna stay away from you for a while,” he said, trying to ignore the pain in his chest at that. “Don’t want anyone catching on.” 
“OK,” you said, eyes searching his before you stepped close to him and slowly, cautiously, pressed your soft, warm lips to his own. “Take care of yourself for me, OK?” 
You said it like you would say I love you. 
“You, too,” he said. He wondered if it sounded the same to you, too. 
 Staying away from you took work. He wanted to see you, be next to you, get lost in you. But he knew where that would lead and he couldn’t let it, not now, not like this. 
So he stayed away for weeks. He stayed away until the first snowfall of the season in Boston and he made an excuse to go stand outside your job. He couldn’t help it. He needed to make sure you were warm and safe so he stood there and watched you leave, his scarf around your neck, You caught his eye with a small smile as you passed a FEDRA guard and he knew, with sinking certainty, he’d be back at your door that night. 
He just couldn’t seem to stay away from you. 
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strawberrynull · 1 year ago
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──⯎ ˙❤‍🩹 ̟ after the fight
엔하이픈 | Enhypen | ot7
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──Pairing: enha ot7 x reader
──Genre: angst, fluff
──Synopsis: After you have a fight, they try their best to make things right again
──Warnings: mentions of arguing, fake violence/play fighting, cursing, kissing
──A/N: yall i literally got the idea for this from a couple tiktok my bsf sent me... o_o
masterlist
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이희승 | Heeseung
Immediately after Heeseung raised his voice at you, he regretted it. He approached you slowly like you were an angry lion. Slowly, he wrapped a gentle arm around your waist. He was quickly swatted away though. A look of shock washed over his face; eyes wide and lips slightly parted. Being cocky enough to try again earned him another slap on the arm. His lips press into a straight line. He grabbed hold of your wrist to restrain you from hitting him again. Before you could resist, his other hand was on your waist, pulling you towards him. His lips crashed onto yours and you couldn't resist kissing your precious boyfriend back. Heeseung whispered against your lips about how sorry he was and how much he loved you.
박종성 | Jongseong
You turned away from Jay, tears pricking your eyes. It was typical for him to be a bit irritable after a long day but he was pretty good at not taking out his frustration on you. Today, though, he had lashed out and yelled at you. The regret hit him as soon as you turned your back to him and he could hear small sniffles from you. His legs felt like jelly as he began to walk toward you. Jay's arms wrapped tightly around your waist as he dipped his head down into the crook of your neck. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, baby." he whispered, muffled from nuzzling into your neck. "I'll never yell at you ever again, I promise." he said, kissing your neck in between words.
심재윤 | Jaeyun
Jake wasn't one to get easily upset and definitely no one to yell but today something in him made him more upset than usual. He was pissed off and ended up shouting at you, ending in you storming out of your apartment. Now you were in your own living room sulking about it. You heard a knock, making you groan as you slowly dragged your feet to the door. As soon as the door knob was turned, the person on the other side slammed it open. There was Jake with several snack filled shopping bags in his arms. He knew that snacks always made you feel better. "Damn it, I had a whole apology speech but you're so pretty that I forgot it already." The bags were dropped to the floor as Jake attacked you with a huge bear hug.
박성훈 | Sunghoon
You turned your back to him, folding your arms across your chest. He placed a hand on your waist, attempting to hug you from behind. "Wait, baby I'm sorry. Don't-" He was cut off by you walking away from him. His eyes widened before he began to chase after you. Sunghoon reached out to grab the back of your shirt but you shook your shoulders, releasing yourself from his grip. He tried again and again but somehow you were a pro escape artist. He resorted to grabbing your hair to stop you. You winced and turned around to try to escape. Just what he wanted you to do. He quickly pulled you toward him, placing his lips on yours. His hand was tangled in your hair as he apologized over and over again between kisses.
김선우 | Sunoo
"I'm.. I'm really sorry." Sunoo whispered with sincerity in his tone. You ignored him though. "Hey. Are you listening to me?" He asked, poking at your cheeks. He cupped your face and put his own face super close to yours. Then he scrunched his eyebrows together as his lips curled into a pout. "Ya, answer me. I said I'm sorry and I meant it." All you did was avert your eyes, causing him to grumble. "Fine. Then I'm going to be unresistably cute until you forgive me." He grabbed your face and turned it towards as his lips formed a thin smile. You couldn't hide the smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. As soon as he saw your smile, he cheered and hugged you tightly.
양정원 | Jungwon
"Oh shit-" he gasped, slapping a hand over his mouth. "I'm sorry, my love. I- I didn't mean that." Jungwons voice trembled as he reached for you, only to be met by your shocked expression. He bit his lip, trying to hold back the tears forming in his eyes. He was even more upset at his own actions than you were. "Angel? Will you please forgive me?" He whispered, hooking his fingers on the belt loops of your pants. He pulled you close to his body and placed a soft kiss on your lips. Then he began kissing all over your face, followed by an apology every time.
니키 | Niki
You furrowed your eyebrows after Niki had finished yelling at you. His ears turned red like they always do when he's ashamed. "Fuck, I'm sorry. You know i would never-" You cut him off by telling him to shut up. His mood changed like a switch as his tongue poked the inside of his cheek. "Alright, fine." His fist clenched before he threw a punch that landed just inches from your face. But for some reason it had just missed you. Out of pure instinct, you threw a punch back, hitting him in the stomach. You gasped, putting a hand up to your mouth in shock at what you did. "Nice punch, baby. Feel better now?" Then you remembered that he had told you once to just hit him if you were upset with him. "O-oh... yeah.."
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© strawberrynull, 2024. Do not copy my work. Please DM for permission before translating or reuploading. Thank You
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trashmouth-richie · 1 year ago
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eddie x reader
a follow up to this prompt by @rebelfell
2.6k
tw: angst, smut, minors fuck off pls teasing? is that a trigger idk.
“we need to talk.” the conversation we’ve been waiting for after you catch your best friend getting head finally unfolds
“We need to talk.”
Your blood ran cold, ice in your veins it was practically prickling your skin. The heat on your cheeks bloomed and your gut quaked at the sight of him, covered. 
Play dumb! It’ll work! 
“I , m-mean, now?— like right now? You have cum- company! a guest— we can talk later, yeah?” 
The stuttering, calmly hands and the sweat gathered under your arms— you were a one woman walking circus, missing the clown nose.  
“Why are you being so weird?” He leans into your doorframe, tattooed arms cross over his broad and glistening chest. 
The flush still in his cheeks almost brought you to your knees, but it was the single flick of his tongue on his lips that had you melting and wishing he had licked your lips instead. Fuck.
“… besides, you already interrupted my guest, so she left—”
Your ears perk up at the mention of said whore leaving your apartment, and your eyelashes bat open, “she left? Why?” 
Eddie huffs and puts his tongue in his cheek like he can’t believe you’re being so stupid. 
“Cut the shit, okay? Will you just be an adult for a second?” 
The smile on your lips falls and you take a step back towards your bed setting your keys down on the nightstand. The silence is anything but quiet. The energy was chaotic and shooting like daggers much like Eddie’s eyes into yours.
“Well?” he asks dramatically, raising his eyebrows to try to get you to speak.  
Play dumb— it’s working! 
“Well what?” you muse innocently. 
“What the fuck was that?” Eddie spits, any softness he brought into this situation had fizzled—dead at the door. 
“I—”
“Forget how to knock?” 
“No—”
“Suuuure, you just thought you’d what? Barge in, ignoring our code?” 
“I didn’t—-there was no hot water! You forgot to pay the water bill!”
“That’s not how water bills work.”
You stand stunned— mouth open to argue but nothing will even come out.
“It’s the water heater for this shitheap building that’s out— if you don’t believe that I paid the bill—call the water company yourself.” 
“…oh.” your voice is small, quiet almost unheard. 
“Wow, really great apology.” 
“Oh relax! Just call her back and explain it was a mistake, who cares? She shouldn’t be so uptight.” 
Eddie is fuming, blood rushing to his head as he tries not to yell out right. But fuck you were being so difficult.
“Ya know… I didn’t say shit when you had Harrington tied to your bed posts and you couldn’t undo the knots— did I? Nope—not a fucking word, I just cut him loose and acted like nothing ever happened!”
You wince, who knew knots were that hard to unlace?
“That was different!” 
“Or the multiple times I caught the fuckin’ Chief slipping out of your room at 5 AM? I even bummed him a cigarette for his morning coffee!” 
Your jaw hung to the floor, you didn’t know Eddie had any idea that you’d been sleeping with Hopper. 
“So? What—we’re just airing out dirty laundry now?” you could be venomous too, your rattle sounding off ready to strike. 
“How many months did you try gettin’ into Mary’s pants before you dumped her because she’s married to Jesus Christ her Lord & Savior? Her name is Mary for fucks sake! Not hard!”
His face pulls to anger, “don’t be a bitch!” 
“And where’s Gareth? Never see him around anymore, maybe it’s because you ran over his d—.” 
“That was an accident! I honked and he never moved!” 
“He was deaf Eddie!” you yell back into his face, “or! How about the time I had to pick you up from the Hideout because you got so drunk you pissed your pants?” 
“That was YOU!” 
The two of you were standing nose to nose, shouting accusing each other of shit that didn’t even matter. Eddie had your back and you’d have his until the end. Cradle to the grave. 
But this was different, you weren’t fighting like siblings or friends, you were both screaming as if you were in pain. 
He’s the first to move, shaking his head and turning towards the door. when he speaks his voice is low, angry.
“When my door is shut don’t open it—turn your ass around and fuck off, got it?” 
His words split your skin, vining through your body like sharp thorns. The hot spill of tears were welling in your eyes. 
“Sorry to bother you, asshole— won’t happen again.”
He’s on the opposite side when you slam your door in his face. The rain brewed and stewed and finally was ready to fall from the clouds in your eyes. 
Why were you acting like this? 
Grabbing your keys you set to leave again, needing an escape so he couldn’t hear your wailing cries. But again— when you opened the door, he was still standing there, only this time he looked pissed. 
“Move.”
He brushes you off as if he didn’t even hear you, “enough.”
“Eddie, get out of the way!” 
“Do you know how many nights I listened to you fake it for this fuckheads?” How long 
I’ve waited for you to admit it?” 
He shuts your door behind him as he pushes his way inside. 
“Admit what?”
“C’mon, baby— we haven’t been friends for a long time, not really.” 
You’re confused and on the verge of tears, “what?!”
Eddie presses forward, head tilted down at you.
 “Those douchebags you bring here can’t handle you the way I know you need…coming home to see their boots by the front door makes me absolutely despise you.”
“Who gives a shit? I trip over skanky high heels sometimes too.”
You were missing the point he was trying to make, way over your head. 
“Never satisfied when they leave…that little vibrator in the top drawer is not as quiet as you think it is.”
You were throbbing, aching… how did he know? 
He inches forward, and you double back towards the door.
“I—”
“Pretty little moans on your lips just minutes after they leave…‘m not stupid sweetheart, I know you do it on purpose— parading around the apartment in your little shorts, never wearing a bra… you’re a tease.” 
He wasn’t right. He couldn’t be! Right?
“I hate you, Eddie.” 
He stalks forward like a predator eyeing its prey, a stupid smirk on his face. 
“No— No I don’t think you do. I think you’re so fucking wound up about me, jealous... It’s alright, I get it. I bury myself in bitches so you’ll get out of my head.”
He takes a ragged breath, his eyes pitch dark, and your back hits the door, he closes in around you, his arms on either side of your head. 
“I fucking hate you, princess. I hate that it doesn’t work.. you’ve made me jealous for too fucking long.”
Your body was screaming, angel and devil on your shoulder dancing and holding hands rooting you on. 
“H-how long?”
His hand falls to your chin, pulling down your bottom lip.
“Senior year. Hellfire. You laughed at one of Jeff’s stupid fucking jokes and my blood ran cold. I wanted you to look at me like you looked at him. That was just the first time I realized I wanted you.”
You shudder, fingers running along his chest, playing with the chain on his neck, “why not say anything?”
“Didn’t wanna ruin this.” 
His lips nearly touch yours, he’s leaning in so close. And you don’t pull away. 
“I think it’s pretty clear that our friendship is over, Eddie. I fucking hate you.” 
“I hate you, too sweetheart.” 
The tension is thick, spinning with bated breath and sexual desire. 
“So, we hate each other?”
“Yep.” Eddie muses, angling your chin so he can see your neck. 
“…and we aren’t friends?” 
He nods silently, pressing his nose to your cheek, “seems to be that way.” 
“You’ve ruined everything.”
“Good,” he all but whispers into your ear. 
“..a perfectly good pair of underwear.” 
His breath hitches in his throat, and he licks his lips. “Can’t have that.” 
“No, not at all,” you tease, thumbing at your waistband and letting your shorts hit the floor.
He steps back to examine you with wide eyes, letting them narrow as he bites his lip, looking you dead in the eyes. 
“I’m gonna fuck you exactly how you need to be fucked.” 
Pulling him back into you by his chain necklace you ask centimeters from his lips, tasting the heat from his mouth, “what are you waiting for?” 
He takes a deep breath, hovering his mouth over yours, “nothing, not anymore.”
His tongue hits you first, electric like an eel on your lips, his breath hot as fire. You moan out when his hands grip your ass, pulling you into him with such force you could have toppled over. 
Eddie is loud too. Groaning with each swipe of your tongue against his. 
“Fuck, I’ve wanted you for so long, baby.” 
His dick is pressed into your middle, hard and kicking up as your hands reach into his hair, pulling you closer to him as if he were a rope and you were climbing a mountain. 
He pulls you away from the door to get a quick slap to your ass. Rough and hard and you’re mewling, his rings stinging your skin. 
Your lips close to his ear you whisper “Eddie… please.”
He pulls away after leaving a mark on your neck. 
“You don’t have to beg, I’ll give you whatever you need, however many times you want it, honey.”
His fingers dip into your waistband around your hips as he slides your panties down to your thighs.  “Let me see that cunt, show me what I did to you.” 
You step out of your panties and he lowers himself to the floor on bent knees. “Jesus Christ, look how pretty she is, ‘m gonna eat this pussy till you cum all over my face.” 
You nod dumbly, body on fire from his words, the lust of having his hands touch you in places he never had, places you dreamt he would, has your mind spinning. 
His bangs tickle your inner thighs, breath fanning on your clit, thumbs spreading you open. He sucks in a breath, whistling low.
A single flick of his tongue— that’s all it takes for your eyes to roll, for your back to bend in an arch like you were being exorcized of hell’s worst demons. Your fingernails scratching into the door trying to anchor yourself from grinding on his face until his nose broke. 
He spits, watching it drip down to your cunt, “don’t ask me to stop.” 
Diving in, his tongue is everywhere. Lapping you up, sucking your clit into his mouth. Swirling around like you would while eating an ice cream cone. Your chest heaves and your thighs tremble as he hooks one over his shoulder pressing into him and he gently pushes it back into place, his eyes never leaving your body. 
When it happens again, he shoves it down with force, nipping at one of your thighs, his lips shiny and wet he groans, “keep ‘em put.” 
The tip of his middle finger pushes into you, and you squeak out a gasp, leaning forward off the door to take a look at him, and he nearly laughs, “jesus, you’re tight sweetheart, gonna need to work you up a bit.” 
He smiles before attaching his mouth to your thigh, sucking a bruise as he fucks you with his fingers, adding a second that’s easier than the first. Your body rolls with his motions, pushing back against him and you know your orgasm is about to snap.
His tongue replaces his fingers and the heat in your stomach releases, untying the white knot and spilling over his lips as you scream out his name. 
“Thatta girl, fuck look at you, Christ.” 
Your eyes open, a strange drunk feeling taking over, as if you were high on a cloud and falling gracefully back to the earth. Opening to see the blackened eyes of the guy you’ve called your best friend for years, and if you would have known his tongue could do that, maybe you would have ruined this friendship a lot sooner.
“Fuck off Munson,” you mutter, out of breath as your foot gently sets on the ground.
“What?” he laughs.
“Just keeping the fact that you eat pussy better than the devil all to yourself huh? Selfish.”
His face splits into a grin laced with evil as he stands, licking his lips, “that’s not all I can do.” 
He’s on you in a flash, hoising you up into his arms, and using the other to hastily shove his boxers down. “Can’t go back after this.” 
“Oh this is the tipping point? Fucking is gonna ruin it not you just making going down on me?” 
He rolls his eyes as he lines himself up with you, “what happened to that sweet girl I used to chase in the trailer park, huh?” 
You reach around your legs and grab his thick cock and lightly sink down onto it the head barely pushing past your puffy lips, “fuck…met a boy who grew up and started selling weed out of his van, kind of an asshole, really big dick though.”
He thrusts up into you so hard you nearly see black, vision spotty from pleasure alone, you whine his name and he practically comes undone.
“Don’t.. shit… don’t do that, I won’t last. Those noises haunt me… been wanting to hear them.”
He holds you tight and fucks you slowly, dragging his cock at a ridiculously slow speed. Groaning when you suck him in deep, biting his neck. 
“There it is, the noise that started this whole mess.” 
He grins into you stupidly, “I’m glad you’re perverted plan worked, you little hussy.” 
His hips move faster and your both whining, accompanied by the slapping of skin on skin. “Water heaters’ been out since last week, ‘m not stupid babe, you’re the one who called and asked.” 
“Whoops— oh my goddd,” you squeal before you're panting like a dog and clawing his arms with your nails, he was splitting you wide open and you were near to tears. 
The tears finally fall when Eddie bottoms out in your cunt, filling you up, grunting your name as he rests his forehead to your shoulder— completely spent. 
His lips kiss your collar bone and you twirl a curl away from his face exhausted around his softening length. 
“Princess,” he breathes, kissing life back into himself with the sweat from your skin, “if you wanted to fuck, you should have told me sooner, could have saved us a week of cold showers, y’know?” 
You kissed his lips, letting him set you down on the bed so you could both lay back in a lazy post sex high, surrounded by your blankets. 
“Well maybe you should have fixed it sooner, you are the maintenance manager of the building.”  
Eddie grins and pins you onto the mattress, his hair falling into your face, his thumb sweeping over your cheeks to catch a rogue eyelash, “come with me to fix it?” 
“Hmm..” fingers moving his hair behind his ear, “you gonna wear that slutty stained white tank top?” 
“Slutty? Why, gonna seduce me in the boiler room?” his lips move down your neck and you whimper. 
“Maybe…” you tease tickling his underarm, “so if I wouldn’t have barged into your room… what else would you have done?” 
Eddie only smiles, thinking of his plan to “break” the air conditioner and hide your hoodies and blankets so you’d have to come to him for warmth. 
“Let’s just say, you would have ended up as my girl one way or another.” 
steve tied up in readers room
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taglist: @likedovesinthewnd @dashingdeb16 @joejoequinnquinn @min-geniusx @ho3forfakeguys @taintedcigs @b-irock @queenimmadolla @serasvictoria @the-unforgivenn @curlyjoequinn @munsonlore @eiightysixbaby @munsonburn3r
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