#ship: love blood and anarchy

[malice-havik-stain]

“Would you still love me, even if I was a worm?”

The worms in question:

Stain, Havik, and myself as worms.

Worm Meiker

[malice-havik-stain]

My short self with my boys.

[blainesebastian]

safe

words: 7,823 ship: austin butler x female reader rating: R (for violence) summary: obviously inspo is coming from seeing bikeriders and this image and my extensive knowledge of sons of anarchy. you don't have to watch that show to read this, but it takes place in that sort of universe, with inspo from the show *u* just wanted biker austin x you notes: feel free to visit my austin masterlist warnings: none, but check the rating.

Every time Austin thinks he knows exactly who you are, you throw him through a wash cycle on steroids. You came back to Charming, a place you said you’d never step foot in again, for what? It’s certainly not for fucking him, that’s for damn sure. As much as he loves you, still after all this time, Austin knows you have to be running away from something…because running towards what you want with full abandon has never been your strong suit.

And you’re certainly not returning to St. Thomas for the great fucking medical plan.

“I just needed a change of scenery.” You tell him in those mint green scrubs that always highlight the perfect swell of your ass.

Austin rolls his eyes but doesn’t tell you that he thinks you’re full of shit.

Chicago’s too fast paced, maybe you’ll try New York—there’s a beautiful, hopeful smile on your face—like you don’t know that the minute you stepped foot back in Charming that you’d never leave. You’ll get sucked back into the black hole of this place and you’ll never be able to find your way out. Will probably die here.

Whatever—it’s really not Austin’s problem anymore, is it? You are not his girlfriend, he’s not responsible for your happiness or your decisions. That ship sailed a long time ago when you left straight out of high school—went to a fancy college, got your medical degree, and began a new life.

Without him.

And yet Austin also understands the utter pull of you, consistently keeping him directly in your orbit, your wants and needs incredibly important because they always have been. Which is why Austin doesn’t believe you when you say that you didn’t come back for any sort of reason.

He doesn’t believe this ‘change of scenery’ nonsense.

You patch up a split knuckle, dig out glass—Austin doesn’t even flinch, just watches you the whole time like he doesn’t have blood on his face. You have no idea what he’s gotten into lately—and you don’t want to know.

“Think I’m gonna make it doc?” He asks, a small smile tugging the corners of his mouth.

You hum lightly, “Barely.” And pour the antiseptic without warning him.

You hate that you came back here, back home—but Austin’s always been your safe place.

--

“I think you’re scared.” Austin says one evening while dropping you off at your dad’s house, empty now, a living and breathing reminder of all the shit you went through in high school.

You never wanted to live here, in your drunken father’s home, always more satisfied with the concept of burning the thing down. Yet here you are, taking off Austin’s motorcycle helmet and handing it back to him, looking for your keys to get inside. You’re living here, attempting to reorganize and rebuild the place to make it your own.

“I think you don’t know me as well as you used to.” You throw back and there’s a hint of teasing there, like you don’t want to turn this conversation into something serious.

Austin rubs one of his eyebrows, itching for a cigarette but now’s not the time, he’s not staying long. “I think…I’m the only person who does know you.” He’s not afraid to admit that. You’ve done this dance so many times that you practically own the rights to the choreography.

You’ve proven time and time again that you’ve got nails and teeth sunk into one another, so wrapped up that you can’t unravel it as hard as you try. No matter how much time or distance passes between you two. It’s so beyond anything that Austin can put into words—he doesn’t really believe in soulmates or fate but, if he did, he thinks him and you could put a definition to that.

That’s why Austin knows that you’re never going to leave Charming, not really anyways.

You’ll be in love until it kills both of you, figuratively or quite literally.

“That’s the real reason you came back, isn’t it?”

You sigh softly—after a long day, your hair is a little unruly on the top of your head. You’re ready for a long hot shower and to get out of these scrubs. Austin only wishes he could assist with that. He lets his eyes travel over your form, purposely checking you out when you look at him. But you both know it’s more than just a sexual attraction here, that Austin defaults to that because it’s easier for him to work out in his head. While it’s very clear that there’s only one face he sees when he’s inside of someone, no one will ever know or understand him as you do.

That line of deeply knowing goes both ways.

“I told you why I came back here.”

Austin smiles a little and starts his bike. Fine, if you wants to play this game, he’s got nothing but time.

“Right,” He puts his helmet on, making sure it’s fastened. “I just don’t believe you.”

And he backs the bike out of the driveway and goes home.

--

Austin doesn’t figure out what’s going on until you ask for a ride home in the middle of the day. It’s a little weird, to say the least, he’s in the midst of things with the club, his club leader riding his ass about certain decisions he needs to uphold as Vice President. But literally, he couldn’t be bothered less, not having one iota of a regret driving his bike to the hospital to pick up you instead.

You seem a bit frazzled when you climb on the back of Austin’s bike, your arms squeezing around his waist just a little too tightly. Austin frowns, looking over his shoulder as he hands you the helmet to put on,

“You alright?” He asks.

You nod quickly, forcing a soft smile, “Yeah, just a long shift. M’tired.”

“You didn’t drive today?” Austin starts his bike—not that he’s complaining.

“Oh I did but the…it’s making a weird noise when I use the break.”

Austin raises his eyebrows, putting a pair of sunglasses on. “You know I work at a garage, right?”

You let out a soft laugh, the sound fluttering Austin’s stomach even after all this time. “Just take me home.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He does a fake salute before pulling out of the hospital parking lot.

--

Austin’s got this wicked sense of observation mixed with paranoia—and he’s convinced this is why it makes him a decent V.P., being able to notice when things are off, when things appear altered than how they should. Sometimes catching tiny mistakes and misnomers are the difference between a good deal going sour, life and death.

So he instantly picks up on the fact that there’s a car following you both, all the way from the hospital to your house. Even though the vehicle doesn’t stop, it passes and parks a little further down, but it’s there, nonetheless.

You get off the bike, handing the helmet back to him, a soft coy smile on your face that makes Austin want to kiss you. Your hair is wild, cheeks a bit pink from the wind blowing, beautiful and stunning all at once.

“Thanks.” You say, adjusting your satchel from sitting on your back to your hip, “Think I’m finally getting used to this thing again.”

Austin hums a bit, parking it before he slips off the bike. He runs his hands through his hair, removing his riding gloves and pocketing them, before adjusting the leather cut that sits easily on his shoulders.

Easy and yet heavy sometimes, all at once.

“Yeah I never understood why you hated ridin’ it, I’m an excellent driver.” Which, alright, he’s a decent driver—he goes through turns too fast but he tries not to if you’re on with him.

You’re distracted though, not picking up the bait, glancing around your driveway as if you’re…looking for something, or someone. Austin licks his lips, putting the helmet on the back of the seat.

“Hey, this uneasiness that I’m sensin’ right now—have anythin’ to do with that car that followed us from the hospital?” He motions with his chin to the car he’s referring to idling down a few houses.

Your entire body suddenly goes rigid, eyes widening over Austin’s words. You follow Austin’s direction down the street and you look sick when your eyes land on the car. There’s this instinctual step back, like you’re afraid, and Austin moves closer to touch your arm.

He steadies you, squeezing gently, thumb running along the inside of your wrist, “Hey, what’s going on? Who is that?”

You sigh, running a shaking hand over your face. You swallow and finally bring your eyes to meet Austin’s, “His name is Rick—when I was in Chicago, I—I met him at a conference and we went out a few times. When I tried to end it, it got violent and he started stalking me,” You shake your head, embarrassment clear on your choked voice even though you have nothing to be ashamed for. “I tried getting a restraining order but you can see how well that worked out.”

Austin feels himself go cold, which is never a good sign. That’s how his rage works, like a slow ticking clock, never heated, never like an explosion of emotion. It sits on him calmly, like a wave lapping the shore of a beach. He straightens his shoulders, shaking his head as he goes to turn and address this fucking asshole who can’t take no for an answer.

“Austin, no,” You reach for him, managing to tug his arm to stop him from walking, “Rick’s—he’s an ATF agent and dangerous.”

Austin almost scoffs because so am I, but he knows what you mean. You know exactly what kind of business his club does and getting involved with an ATF agent will only bring trouble down upon everyone.

But Austin’s so fucking angry that he doesn’t care, he’s always felt like he’s had the uncanny ability to think in steps ahead, consider his future, but if you’re here? You’re a part of that future now. And he’s not going to let this Rick guy think he can just follow you here all the way from Chicago and threaten you.

“Go inside, Y/N.” Austin motions to the house, not looking back as he walks towards the car in question.

Rick, who has fucking binoculars, drops them quickly when he realizes Austin is approaching the car and not stopping. He also seems to get the point when Austin pulls his weapon of choice, a hunting knife, from the holster on his jeans and sticks right through the grill of Rick’s car.

Rick quickly gets out, his face red with pinched anger as the car begins to smoke. “Vandalism, deadly weapon.” He snaps and slams the car door closed. He’s shorter than Austin and a lot angrier, which is amusing to him, “That's six months in County, asshole.”

Austin can see what you maybe thought about this guy. He’s handsome with his strong jaw and cropped hair, eyes intense. Any member of law enforcement gives off a false aura of calm because they’re supposed to be people anyone can trust. It’s almost ironic that you feel safer with a criminal. Almost.

He throws shit right back at Rick as he takes his knife out of the grill, putting it back in the holster, “Violating a restraining order? You'll be in the cell next to mine.” He grins then, licking his lips as his eyes skitter over Rick’s body, “They reach how to suck dick in ATF school?”

Rick laughs, not even looking remotely interested but Austin doesn’t care. He’s trying to make him uncomfortable because clearly he doesn’t give a shit about doing the same to you. Besides, Austin knows that he’s not really angry about the car, or even about Austin approaching him per say, he’s pissed off that someone is getting in the way of him fucking around with you.

“Badass biker.” Rick tuts, shaking his head as he looks over Austin, like it would be a pleasure of his to ruin his life.

Austin is not fucking scared of this piece of shit, “You harassing Y/N? That ends here.” He tells him, “Or the next time it won't be this car that I'm drainin’ fluid from.” He goes to take a step back because regardless of the stance Rick is pulling, he can tell that he’s rattled him just a little bit.

All of this is probably a terrible idea given the situation that the club is in right now but he refuses to let you take the brunt of dealing with this asshole alone.

“You threatening a federal agent?” Rick snaps out, pissed off that he’s been made to look like an idiot. Which, Austin doesn’t think that’s too far of a stretch, really.

He turns, giving Rick a good once over before taking a few steps into his space. He purposely uses his height difference to look down at him when he speaks, “I'm threaten’ you. Go away—it's my last warning.”

As Austin walks away, he just hopes it’s enough.

--

Things slightly escalate from there. Rick does not fuck off like Austin hoped or intended but he supposes he shouldn’t exactly be surprised, either. He suspects that he might hang around, maybe show up at your work, but what he doesn’t expect is when Rick surprises him when Austin is attempting to run errands. And not just any type of errand, though most don’t know that, but he’s not really just visiting this deli because he enjoys the chipped ham.

Rick wanders in as Austin talks to the butcher, their conversation shifting to something safer because of the company.

One thing happens after another, Rick gets in his face and Austin can’t control his temper even though he knows he should—that this is one giant trap to catch him off guard. And yet he falls right into it because the minute Rick opens his mouth about you, Austin’s fist is flying through the air.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Rick smirks, sticking his hands in his pockets as he stands by one of the display cases with meat inside, pretending to look interested. “Y/N and I have unfinished business…and I intend on talking that out with her, in bed, with her spread out beneath me.” It’s very much a whether you like it or not attitude and Austin hits Rick so fucking hard that he sails through the glass window of the deli.

Not his finest moment.

And yet he has zero regrets as he sits in a police interview room, icing his right fist as another ATF agent graces him with his presence. Greg Thornson with his bony-ass frame, closing the door with his foot because he’s knee-deep in a file that no doubt has every wrongdoing he’s ever committed since high school.

The usual dog and pony show that any of these police agents try to shake them up with.

Austin’s so used to this, he knows his expression screams ‘boredom’ and that for some reason makes Greg smile, putting the file down on the table. He sits across from him, regarding Austin for a moment and he bites his tongue on saying anything he might regret.

The point in all this is to get back to you, not to end up in a holding cell for the night. So he straightens his shoulders and looks right back at Greg, a challenging look to his eye.

The shorter smiles, “So, we’re not going to hold you—even though you assaulted a federal agent.”

Austin purses his lips and lightly shrugs his shoulders, not saying a goddamn word. He knows exactly what story Ronnie Peterson, the deli owner, gave to the police.

“Mr. Peterson corroborates your story that Rick Clarington came at you first.” Greg sounds not moved at the slightest by that but Austin doesn’t care.

He smiles, “Can I go now?”

Greg hums but before Austin can stand and leave, “Why does Clarington have a hard-on for you?”

“Who doesn't?” The corners of Austin’s mouth twitch up but then sighs—Thornson might enjoy a little game of distractions but Austin’s goal is to keep himself as much under the radar as possible. So he shifts gears, giving him a long look, “You know why.”

Greg smiles, closing the file in front of him. Austin obviously doesn’t know Greg very well, other than the briefest of introductions when he first walked in (just what he needs, another ATF agent up his ass), but he can tell that he’s in this job title for the ‘cat and mouse’ game of it all. Austin’s not a typical criminal, he doesn’t squirm, especially when he knows that that’s the goal Greg has with this conversation.

He’s digging, pulling at straws, anything to give him the upper hand.

“You're right, I do.” Greg taps the table with his fingertips, “Y/N L/N, the charming ingenue. High school sweethearts, right?”

Austin’s face gives nothing away but he does nod softly in confirmation, “Yeah.”

He can literally see the wheels turning in Greg’s head, the shorter making an impressed noise as he glances down at Austin’s bloody knuckles, “She fears for her life so she comes back home to the only man she knows loves her enough to protect her.”

His expression matches stone, unsure of what Greg wants out of this other than to just catch him off guard, but he’s literally got nothing to say as far as he and you are concerned. There’s also not that much to tell—he and you were dating in high school; it was one of the strongest connections he’s ever had to anyone. And that hasn’t changed—Austin doesn’t think it ever will.

“A guy…” Greg trails off for a moment, “who would have no problem punching a federal agent through a glass window.”

“The glass window part was an accident.”

Greg lets out a soft laugh, nodding, “So Ronnie the butcher says. Rick apparently pulled a weapon on you—made threats, you had no choice.” There’s practically disbelief hanging on every syllable.

Austin shrugs again, flexing his sore fingers against the ice pack, “Well, if that’s what Ronnie said.”

Greg licks his lips, glancing over his shoulder as the door opens up, another officer with paperwork to detail the statement Austin gave. He nods his head, knowing he’ll have to let him go soon, despite the sparring conversation.

“Beautiful, really, it is. I wish I had that kind of pull over for someone. You're a lucky man.”

Austin feels something ugly dig under his skin at the sentiment because he knows it’s not a compliment by any means. He refuses to give Greg the satisfaction that he obviously craves but a few thoughts do worm their way in the back of Austin’s mind: did you come back to Charming because of him? Because you knew what he’d do the moment Austin learned about Rick threatening you? Because you felt safe? Wanted? Loved here? Does any of that really matter since you’re back? Austin may feel slightly manipulated given the situation but…even if you only came back for this very reason, you’re still here, aren’t you?

Somehow, that’s all Austin cares about.

“You done?” Austin asks, a little steel to his voice.

Greg smiles and nods lightly, Austin getting up from the table and leaving the ice pack behind.

--

Austin leans against the back of your couch, watching the you pace for a few moments. He’s not trying to pressure you into talking or anything, he’s practically got the CliffsNotes of what’s happening anyways. In general, he’d just like to touch base with you because it’s been a week since Austin’s made threats at Rick and nothing has really happened (other than that lovely conversation with Thornson, time he’ll never get back, but he supposes that’s his fault for throwing a punch at a federal agent).

Austin suspects anything else is only a matter of time. Rick doesn’t seem like the type to respond to warnings well or go away quietly.

“I’m confused, what else did you want me to do?”

You stop pacing, looking up at Austin with an almost startled expression as you’re drawn out of your thoughts. You’re in a pair of blue jeans and a nice button-down sheer blouse—so different than the scrubs you usually wear but just as beautiful.

“I didn’t want you to do anything.”

Austin narrows his eyes, “Right, really?”

You give him a look as you slowly cross your arms over your chest. “What is that supposed to mean?”

He lets out a slow breath, leaning up from the couch. He doesn’t want to argue with you at any rate and maybe he is letting the conversation with Thornson get to him, but the longer Austin thinks about it, the more it starts to make sense.

Austin rubs the back of his neck, “I think you know exactly what it means.” He raises his eyebrows, taking a long look at you, someone he’s always known like the back of his hand and yet feels so distant to him within this conversation.

“Did you come here because you knew what I’d do to Rick?”

Your mouth opens and closes, “Know…what’d you do?” You scoff, “You—you haven’t done anything.” And there’s the slightest hesitancy in saying that, like there might be something you don’t know.

Austin shakes his head, confirming with a single, “No,” Then, “I haven’t. But push comes to shove, you know I would.”

It doesn’t take much for Austin to figure out how you feel, you practically wear all of your emotions directly on your face. And okay, given this reaction, maybe that’s not why you came home but are you really going to act like that’s not some sort of benefit?

“I didn’t come back for you.” You state and it’s not supposed to sound cruel—that’s not who you are. Meanwhile, Austin on the other hand makes it his mission to dig underneath people’s skin, to read them and know them to understand how to hurt them.

“I didn’t even know if you’d still be here.” You sigh, taking a step towards where Austin is standing, “But if you’re asking if I came back to the last place I felt…put together? Safe? Then yes. That’s why I came back.”

Austin smiles ever so softly, picking his hand up to cup the side of your head. There seems to be a distinct moment where you close your eyes, a rush of relief, a breath you didn’t realize you were holding being released from your chest. “And none of that has to do with me?”

You let out a soft chuckle, shaking your head but you don’t pull away, even when Austin slips one of your loose strands of hair around your ear. You turn your head to press a kiss to Austin’s palm, his other hand moving to bracket the other side of your face. His fingers eventually slip down to hold the sides of your neck, rubbing along the skin soothingly.

“Maybe just a little bit to do with you.” You smile.

Austin licks his lips, smirking, pressing your foreheads together and leaving them to rest for a few long moments. There’s a familiarity there that pulls him in, keeps him treading water, keeping them connected in such a way where it’s hard to tell where you end and Austin begins. He’s never been so much a part of someone and vice versa.

“Regardless of what happens,” Austin says after a moment, “I’m not gonna let anythin’ happen to you, okay?”

You swallow and nod, your noses grazing as he tips your chin.

And that kiss you share feels like home.

--

It’s a pretty regular night at the clubhouse, another party in half swing where everyone is either piss drunk or on their way to being it. Some other members are playing pool or taking shots directly off of women’s chests, some practically fucking croweaters on the commune couches. Austin is so used to seeing this shit that, at this point, it’s just another Thursday night.

Sam, one of his club leader’s right-hand men, leans against the bar with a boyish grin that deflects from all the terrible things he’s done. The blood Austin has seen in that long blonde hair, the way his hands close around another man’s throat, the bullets he’s fired, the knives he’s cut with. It’s so ironic because you’d never think any of that just by looking at him,

“You don’t want to get in on this?” He asks, motioning to the intoxicating chaos.

Austin takes a brief look around, lifting his beer and taking a sip. “Even if there were half naked women practically throwing themselves at me? Nah,” He pauses, “Just not in the mood tonight.”

Austin’s known Sam nearly his whole life—they grew up together, been through all possible scenarios of the term ‘thick and thin’. Sam sticks around because he knows Austin will take this crown someday, will lead this club, take the reins, or whatever the fuck all this means. He didn’t know his father, not really, only through all the observations and stories and photographs from others.

How is he supposed to figure that shit out?

He doesn’t want it, inherited club royalty or not. Austin would be more satisfied with running away, with taking you out of this fucking place, far away from Charming where no one knows either of you. Starting over like a brand-new book, writing their own chapters.

Even though he knows how unrealistic that is. Doesn’t mean he wants it any less.

“Is this about Y/N?” Sam asks, breaking his concentration.

Austin blinks, considering the question as he takes a long sip of beer. Isn’t it always? Sam can read him far too well and of course knows all about you, what you mean to him—what you’ll always mean to him. He was there when you both first met, when this whole thing started, when you both clutched onto one another tight and refused to let go.

You coming back has just thrown him through an impossible loop.

“No,” He straightens his shoulders, putting a wall up between him and Sam with a grin that masks his face, “Just can’t find anyone who sucks dick as well as you do.”

Sam snorts out a laugh and grabs a bottle from behind the bar to pour shots, “It’s the lips.” He teases.

Austin takes a shot with his friend when he pours it and then decides he’s gotta get out of there before he ends up spending the night with a faceless nobody and a wave of regrets. It’s funny how he hasn’t really thought like that in a while and that definitely has to do with your influence in being back.

He takes a step outside and breathes in the cool Californian air, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. Austin lights a cigarette, taking a long drag that puffs like fog into the atmosphere—he and you have not decided anything about one another. But he knows you, you and him can pick up right where you left off.

It’s hard not to.

His burner cell starts buzzing in his pocket and there’s a half smile on his lips as he sees your number—case in point.

Austin barely gets through a greeting when you are choking out I need you. He has no idea what’s going on and part of him doesn’t want to ask but the sound of your voice causes a sheet of ice to cover the entire inside of his chest as he throws down the cigarette and walks quickly to his bike.

“What happened?”

You sniffle over the line and sigh out syllables that make Austin’s blood run cold, “Rick. Please, can you just—”

“I’m on my way.” Austin hangs up the call, starting his motorcycle and pulling out of the garage parking lot with barely a second thought.

--

Austin has no idea what’s going on, no clue what he’s walking into but he doesn’t care either (which he may or may not regret later). He didn’t have you elaborate over the phone, wanting to concentrate on getting here faster instead. He parks his bike and rushes off the thing, nearly knocking it over as he goes to the front door of your father’s home and knocks.

You throw open the door, half dressed—bra, underwear, a long sweater barely over top, face with tear tracks on them and—and a gun hanging loosely in your fingertips.

“Jesus Christ,” Austin mumbles, eyes wide and confused as he takes a look at you and slowly closes the front door, “What the fuck happened?”

Though…based off the way you are dressed and the time of night—Austin swallows down a bout of anger as heavy as a cinder block to take care of what’s right in front of him.

“I couldn't stop him.” You shake your head, your entire face pinching. Austin sighs and wraps a strong arm around your shoulders, drawing you into your chest. He squeezes you, his hand working firm circles along your spine, “He came in-in through my back door and just—”

Austin shakes his head, holding you even tighter against him, his jaw working as he puts two and two together. You must have been getting ready for bed or something close to it and Rick put the drop on you.

“Did he—”

A whimpered noise leaves your lips and you press your face further into Austin’s neck. His one hand comes up and laces his fingers through your hair, shushing you gently. He pulls back after a moment—you both need to get ahead of this disaster, whatever is awaiting him, Austin will take care of it.

“Where is he?” He asks, cupping your cheek. He removes a tear track with his thumb.

You sniffle, “The bedroom—”

A short breath leaves Austin’s lips, glancing down at the gun that’s still in your hand. It must be your father’s because you never have been interested in weapons before, not even for means of protection. Whatever happened, it must have been bad enough that you needed to defend yourself.

“Give me that.” Austin takes the gun from you, walking down the long hallway that leads to the bedroom.

Nothing really prepares him for what he sees—the bedroom is a mess, sheets disheveled and Austin really fucking tries to not picture you struggling on top of them to push Rick off. A chair is overturned, broken glass from picture frames falling off the nightstand, and Rick on the ground in the corner—his pants are undone and he’s got his shirt off.

He’s currently holding onto his gut to keep his insides from pouring out, panting, face a sheet white and sweaty. And then he makes eye contact with Austin, a struggled laugh leaving his lips like, you’ve got to be kidding me.

“Oh you stupid bitch.” Rick spits, referring to you, “You called him?”

Austin does his best to assess the situation, figuring out what’s best for you with all of this. He’s used to putting himself in the line of fire at this point, at burying himself so deep that there’s not a way out. He could give a shit about Rick surviving or not—there’s only one person that needs to end up on the other side.

You are kind and good and leading a decent life beyond all of this and if Austin has one goal? It’s to make sure none of this pain, blood, or filth, sticks to you.

You tug on Austin’s sleeve, yanking him back into the hallway and away from the scene, “I didn’t know what to do, I shot him, Austin.” You try to explain, your hands shaking so bad as you run them through your hair. Austin shakes his head, wanting to tell you that he doesn’t have to clarify anything, “I had to. What do I—what do I do? What do we do?”

Austin runs his hand along your shoulder, squeezing, glancing back in to Rick because…there’s really only one of two things you could do. And he’ll give you the other option just in case you want to entertain it.

“Okay, okay,” Austin soothes, getting you to breathe for a moment before he continues, “We call this in—you're not going to get charged, he is.” There’s a choked laugh from Rick—the only saving grace is that you have that restraining order in place. Austin takes a long look at you, cupping your one cheek. He waits until your eyes meet his, wanting to make sure you understand what he’s saying.

“They're gonna patch him up, he'll do a few years for assault. But then he's gonna be out—free to do this again.”

He barely gets the last word out before there’s a visceral reaction from you, a choking sob where you grab Austin’s leather jacket and dig your fingers into it, “No,” You snap out, nearly pushing him away despite the fact that Austin only pulls you closer, “No, he can't do this again, Austin. Please.”

Austin rests his lips along your forehead, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment as he takes a steadying breath into his lungs. There’s only one thing to do then—because clearly, Rick is beyond reason or idle threats.

Not to mention that bullet wound in his side really complicates things. 

“Butler’s your solution?” Rick spits from the other room, making you hold onto Austin tighter.

“I can't do this.” You whisper against Austin’s neck, breath hot along his skin, “Please.”

If Austin was going to approach this with a cool head, all of that goes out the window when Rick opens his mouth again. The combination of you shaking against him, the heat of your body pressed along his own, the way your hands are pulling at his clothes in an attempt to ground yourself—and then Rick’s fucking mouth, spouting disgusting language towards you that he can’t accept in a levelheaded manner.

“You pathetic whore—”

Austin takes two long strides, aiming the gun right at Rick’s head and fires.

The blowback spatters blood all over the wallpaper in the bedroom and there’s a soft curl of smoke leaving the gun, metal hot to the touch. He can hear you yelling over the slight ringing in his ears. Austin lets out a sharp breath—this is not the first time he’s murdered someone in cold blood and it certainly won’t be the last.

At least this time it actually feels like it’s been paired with a purpose.

Austin stares at the blood for a long moment, watching it roll down the ugly wallpaper before backing up slowly. He puts the gun on the dresser and turns to where you are standing in the hallway, wide eyed like a deer in headlights, hands over your mouth.

Austin gently tugs you away, forces your sight off it and takes you back into the living room.

--

Austin takes a shallow breath and hands you a short glass of scotch, which you take with trembling fingers. You tip it back into your mouth quickly and almost choke on the swallow, coughing, but Austin figures you might need to take it like that. He motions to hold the glass out and when you do, he fills it up again.

You sniffle, shaking your head as you run a hand over your face. Austin knows how you’re feeling without you even needing to say anything. While this might have been the only choice, the right choice, you didn’t want Rick to meet an end like this. You continue to be a better person than him—Austin thinks he got exactly what he deserved.

And he regrets none of his actions here tonight, especially if this means you are safe.

Austin runs a hand along his jawline—it’s still dark out, if he’s going to clean this up, he needs to get started.

You glance up at him, wide eyes somehow a shade darker than he’s ever seen them. Austin tries to offer you the smallest of smiles, something comforting, even though it feels a bit strange on his face.

“I’ll take care of this.” He assures you.

You scoff out a choked noise— “What does that mean?”

Austin shakes his head, not giving you a verbal answer. Honestly, it’s better if you don’t know, just in case, so you can claim some kind of ignorance with all this. You seem to catch on within that moment, making a soft noise of discontent as you cover your face with both of your hands. There are so many things that Austin wants to say, to be able to tell you, but he doesn’t know where to start.

This nightmare is over though—it may not seem like it, but it is.

Austin turns to walk out of the kitchen and check your garage for supplies when he feels fingers wrap around his wrist. He stops, looking down at your hand, following it up your arm until he looks at you again. Austin watches you stand, taking a soft breath in, grounding yourself in the touch of his skin and your proximity.

This can’t be easy for you; Austin knows this is why you ran away from Charming in the first place—so you wouldn’t have to wonder what kind of terrible shit he was getting himself into with the club and Austin finding a way to apologize for it. Though, this ironically has nothing to do with the motorcycle club.

He moves his thumb to brush over the inside of your wrist, his high school sweetheart, the girl he’s loved since he was sixteen, his soulmate regardless of tragedy that most likely follows.

“Thank you,” You whisper and step into Austin’s space, “I love you.”

Austin hums softly and nods, leaning his head down to press your foreheads together. “I know.” He teases lightly and despite everything that’s happened, he can feel the hint of a smile on your lips as you kiss.

--

A week passes, and then two, and eventually Austin feels like he can draw oxygen into his lungs without looking over his shoulder. At this point, he knows how dispose of a body—an unfortunate byproduct of the work he does. The goal is to make it look like Rick’s just left, disappeared, with the threat of violating his restraining order, he decided it was best to fuck off out of Charming and you for good.

That should be a story that’s easily passible, since no one from Charming P.D. or that aggravating ATF agent have kicked down any doors demanding questioning of any sort.

Austin’s limited exposure about the whole thing, just him and you know, that way there can be no blowback on the club. Even then, Austin’s the only one who has details about the murder weapon (and where it is) and what truly happened to Rick (as in, where his body is buried). And it’s going to stay like that.

The man is exactly where he belongs.

Austin pauses in front of a freezer in the grocery store looking down at a set of steaks. He knows that it’s not exactly your favorite thing to eat but…he’s feeling weirdly celebratory and he can cook it in a way that you will enjoy it. Lots of pepper, garlic, onions—grilling it outside (maybe at his house instead of your father’s place), beer, mashed potatoes. You both can turn that into a good night, maybe even get back on a track that makes sense.

As long as you both avoid any more capital murder, should be just fine.

“Huh, never pictured you as a fillet kind of guy.”

Austin’s eyes roll back into his head as he turns to see Greg Thornson hovering nearby. Spoke too soon.

He doesn’t see any other agents milling around to make a grand arrest, or sirens and SWAT cars pulling up outside the grocery store windows. So he supposes that’s a bonus. And yet—

“Shouldn’t have to pound meat out for it to be tender.” He says wryly, dropping two steaks into his basket. Austin moves out and around Greg, who doesn’t even appear to be shopping—what, did he just track him down for a not-so-friendly chat?

Austin’s assuming that this isn’t an interrogation but Greg very much seems like the kind of agent that tries to catch you off guard and unaware. He’s probing just by being in his space, nonchalantly following him around the store, pretending to look at things he has no intention in buying.

“Putting a nice dinner together for Y/N?” Greg asks curiously, picking up a can of lima beans.

Austin sighs evenly, slowly making his way towards the front of the store. The quicker he cashes out, the faster he can leave this disaster behind. He glances over his shoulder at the indifferent question,

“Yeah—I know this might be a foreign concept to you, goin’ on dates.” Austin says with a smile to his face but it’s anything but kind. Greg’s eyes dart to Austin’s, fire burning along his irises, and then Austin adds a cushion to the blow – “Cause you know, you’re married to your work and all.”

Greg hums but his smile is all pinched, “I’m surprised Y/N’s even staying put.”

Austin moves to set his basket down near the conveyor belt, unpacking his groceries so that the cashier can ring him out. He offers a small smile at the girl, despite his annoyance with the ATF agent behind him. He slips his wallet out of his back pocket, glancing at Greg as he comes up into his line of vision,

“She’s a runner. Isn’t that why Y/N found herself in Chicago in the first place? Wanted to get out—find things this little pissant town couldn’t offer? Bigger dreams than what you’ve got here, Butler. Smart, beautiful women like Y/N? They get bored. They want more.”

Austin swallows, his hand that’s out of Greg’s line of sight is clenching his fingers into a fist. He refuses to give away that Greg’s words are hitting a particularly raw nerve. You did run away—because that’s what you do. When something gets too hard or real or intense, you make a run for it, that last time landing you in Chicago. And yeah, you ended up with a medical degree to show for it, but you also trailed back to Charming with a psycho ex.

He watches the cashier scan in his items, the muscle in Austin’s working. Despite the fact that Y/N’s seemingly tied to this place for the foreseeable future, Greg unfortunately has a point. And that digs under his skin more than anything else.

Austin pays the cashier and picks up his grocery bag, “Why don’t you let me worry about Y/N, yeah?” He throws back at Greg, moving to leave the store. He then pauses, a sudden thought occurring to him as he turns to look back at the ATF agent.

Greg’s decided to buy a pack of chips near the checkout aisle, pulling out a few ones from his wallet. 

“Hey,” Austin says, gaining Greg’s attention. The smile he gives him is slow and patient, somehow innocent on the edges like he’s about to talk about the weather. “You ever hear from Rick?”

It takes a moment for the question to settle on Greg’s face, the light somehow disappearing from his eyes, the silent conversation passing between the two men as Greg realizes Austin is asking this question for a very specific, deadly reason.

Austin licks his lips, shrugging his one shoulder, his gaze hardening, “Dangerous being a Fed.”

He slowly backs up, getting ready to turn out of the grocery store. He’s delivered more direct threats before but he is in public, and the look on Greg’s face still registers the same. Realization masking fear—makes it completely worth it. Austin clutches the grocery bag in his hand and puts his sunglasses on as he leaves the store to walk back to his truck.

They understand one another now.

--

Austin looks at you over his shoulder as he cooks dinner in the backyard of his home, in comfortable clothes that look a lot like jeans and a t-shirt, minus the leather cut. You’re leaning against the patio door, in a yellow sundress, watching Austin with a soft, fond expression, sipping on your beer.

Austin’s struck with the sudden thought that it could always be like this—warm, and safe, and comfortable, cooking dinner with beers and pretending his business doesn’t get him involved with unsavory people or situations.

Sometimes it feels like they can survive in that version of themselves, even though it’s all a lie.

You move into the yard and set your beer down, pressing into Austin’s side as he looks at the grill.

“You’re overcooking the steak.”

Austin crinkles his nose, peeking under the grill hood just a little, “No I’m not.” He opens it up all the way and while he doesn’t cook steak very often, they look perfectly fine. You use that opportunity to reach for the tongs and Austin playfully taps your wrist,

“I got it, they’re fine.”

“Oh you know how to handle meat, do you?” You tease, your hand resting on Austin’s waist instead.

Austin bites down on his lower lip as he grins, cupping your cheek to lean down and kiss you. “Class act, Y/N.” He pulls back after a moment, closing the grill lid after flipping the steaks once.

He moves to grab his own beer, taking a long sip. Despite everything you’ve been through, you seem to be doing okay. You don’t really bring up Rick at all and Austin doesn’t ask—maybe that’s a good thing, finally moving past that chapter in your life.

And even though Greg’s commentary in the grocery store rattled him a little bit, it does feel like you’re on solid ground now. That you’re not going anywhere—that they’re a team, no matter what might come their way.

Austin lets out a soft sigh, taking a step towards you. He rests his hand on your hip, angling you towards his body so he can look down at you. He waits until that gaze falls upon his own,

“No more running.”

You nod softly and press yourself on your toes to kiss the corner of Austin’s mouth, “No more running,” You agree. Austin leans down to press their foreheads together. “I’m here.”

And for better, or for worse, Austin believes you.

[tlonista]

Multifandom Hurt/Comfort

Everything hurts; just hope you've got somebody to hold you together when it does. My multifandom writing highlights.

Careful, I Bite (Baldur's Gate 3)

Seducere (14,000 words) - Astarion's complicated, mostly terrible 200-year relationship with seduction, and his less terrible relationship with Tav.

A Crimson Night (18,000 words) - What if Astarion's quest involved an uncomfortable proposition at a masquerade? A Ren'py visual novel with BG3 mechanics and extensive player choice.

The Jayvik Cycle (Arcane)

City of Sunlight (10,000 words) - Vignettes about classism, alienation, and Viktor adjusting to life in Piltover.

Bad Machinery (27,000 words) - An AU where Viktor never left the undercity, but he found Jayce anyway.

Burning Paper Curses (26,000 words) - Viktor's exile after the Council bombing, and the birth of a fake-enemies relationship with Jayce.

Blood and Blue Diamonds (73,000 words) - A detective!Jayce love letter to '30s Los Angeles noir.

City Slang (14,000 words) - Viktor has a terrible night in the undercity, but it's the push he needs to confess some feelings to himself.

To Gold and Redwoods (4,000 words) - A marshal!Jayce and outlaw!Viktor classic western AU.

Love and Demolition (Danger Days)

Better Living Through Anarchy (35,000 words) - Fun Ghoul is a captured zonerunner. Gerard Way is a Battery City TV showrunner. A Killjoys origin story.

Graffiti Tarot (50,000 words) - The Fab Four live... but Ghoul's in prison, Poison's in a coma, Kobra's a brainwashed killer, and Jet's raising a magical girl. A post-SING AU.

The Ship Is Isaac/Misery (Dead Space)

Apostles to the Dead (5,000 words) - EarthGov kept videos of what it did to Isaac on Titan. Ellie finds them. Set during Dead Space 3.

Vacuum Lullaby (11,000 words) - Liz Cross lives in the DS remake. After Aegis VII, she and Isaac try to patch each other up.

Miscellaneous

Ant Farming For Beginners (6,000 words, Doom Patrol) - Larry Trainor's time in the Ant Farm, leaning hard on the fourth wall.

Simulacron-12 Is Smooth Again (4,000 words, Blade Runner 2049) - K is under Niander Wallace's control. Reality is breaking down. On a couple layers of existence, Joi does what she can to help.

A Kindness of Dreams (4,000 words, Darkest Dungeon) - Before the hamlet, Baldwin comforts Sarmenti in the tyrant's court.

[malice-havik-stain]

Working on these as we speak. I thought I would be gone from tumblr for a lot longer. But Stain and Havik demand I write about them.

I just need to moderate myself with how much time I spend on tumblr, and try not to doom scroll on blogs that hate selfship x canon, or worry about if others would like my stuff or not. This blog is for me to have fun and share my writing about my loves.

Happy New Years lovelies!

Here’s to a creative year. I know real life may get ugly soon, but this will be my way to cope with real life events.

Love you all. Let’s get to writing.

First Day of Gift-Giving

One True Pairing Moments

Watching the sunset

Dancing around the kitchen

Fighting over the remote

Adopting a pet together

Going grocery shopping together

Having a friendly arm-wrestling match

Calling just to hear their voice

Giving each other lazy kisses

Taking pictures when the other’s not watching

Getting a bath ready for them both

Cooking together for date night

Brushing their teeth together

Texting each other cute pictures

Doing skin care together

Having a snowball fight

Loudly singing together

Painting each other’s nails

Laughing at the stupidest jokes

Holding hands in packed areas

Kissing each other good night

24 Days of Gift-Giving

[sammygender]

hi.. erm im back (anon from the last 2 asks) (im too scared to un-anon sorry) i want to ask (another) genuine question abt wincest because ur the nicest person ive ever met who's willing to talk abt it from both sides.

i guess i just don't get why people ship wincest? background: im aromantic and have a hard time understanding certain shippy stuff, but i do notice alot of arophobic statements in regards to the evidence given as to why people ship. ex: a lot of "brothers don't look at each other like that." type things. (which i know is not wincest exclusive and is often used by destiel shippers too)

also i notice alot of people being quite amatonormative (definition: the assumption that all human beings pursue love or romance.) so it's hard to even take wincest shippers seriously when all their evidence tends to be perpetuating arophobic sentiments and stuff.

we can all agree that their relationship is seriously unhealthy. but i just have a hard time with it being even borderline incestuous. i also really like the idea of relationship anarchy (definition: relationships within this structure are fluid, and therefore have no solid differentiation between sexual, romantic, or platonic relationships.) so to me it's like. well it's platonic because they say it is? only the people within a relationship can determine what that relationship is and they have?

anyways i know im throwing a lot of words and definitions at you. you're just extremely helpful to talk to and i like what you have to say, so id be extremely interested in your opinions about this.

hi anon!!! im so sorry i literally yapped like crazy in response to this. had no idea i was capable of this much thought on this topic. everything is under the read more

TLDR for the TLDR: for me the 'borderline incestuous' nature of their relationship isnt actually the way they act with each other cause i do think boundaries of romantic/platonic r weird and fake (tho by normal 'societal standards' sam and dean r strange). its more the framing of it by the narrative and genre conventions of spn as a horror. i think. <3

everything im abt to say has been written on at length by much smarter people than me - if ur interested i probably have reblogged other peoples posts on similar topics and tagged them somewhere under #poison in the water and maybe #she walked in on us. i am SO sorry for the mountain of yap you have unleashed.

before i rly start, re: talking abt the concept of wincest from different angles/sides - its honestly so totally beyond me why people dont actually DISCUSS this stuff more. ofc wincest shippers are sometimes obnoxious when they go ‘NORMAL BROTHERS DON’T ACT LIKE THIS!!!’ over anything (like i personally don’t like the whole ‘sam and dean are OBVIOUSLY in love because they bring each other back from the dead!!’ thing. like why is that romantic. i’d try my hardest to bring my siblings back from the dead too.) but like u said pretty much all shippers do that. i think people are (UNDERSTANDABLY) squicked out by the idea of incest, even fictional, and have an immediate kneejerk reaction when people ‘corrupt’ their favorite characters by talking abt it in relation to them. and i completely understand just not wanting to engage with readings you find uncomfortable or odd!! TV can just be escapism there’s nothing wrong with that!! but i tend to find immediate negative reactions against anything that even ACKNOWLEDGES the incestuous subtext in spn uncharitable and annoying. for one, incest is a real thing that happens and its not shipping goggles or creep behavior to look at fiction through the lens of it, just as its not whatsoever unreasonable to look at, for example, the azazel demon blood storyline as a CSA allegory (again of course all this is real heavy and just one interpretation and absolutely no hate for fans who like… just don’t want to think like this <3). for two, i do think there is an undercurrent of it written into supernatural with intentionality to further the themes of familial horror.

so to kind of…. explain i guess… why i say i can see canonical backing for sam and dean’s relationship as incestuous or incestuous-adjacent (lol), i have to go back to the general incest subtext in supernatural as a whole, from a completely academic-interest and not at all shippy way. like i said ofc SPN is primarily a show about FAMILY HORROR - ‘family is hell’, to quote eric kripke in the pilot commentary. or at least this is how i view it; a lot of destiel fans, for example, tend to see it more as…. idk really, i don’t claim to have much contact with them, but certainly not usually a horror. an action-adventure. a western. a story about a Tragic American Hero (sorry im being tongue in cheek and bitchy). i think viewing the show with a sam-focused lens tends to make you view it as horror for… a lot of reasons which i won’t get into here. but i PERSONALLY - getting off track here, sorry - view it as horror. that’s what he originally intended, and it’s what supernatural is most successful at doing. and incest in horror, especially gothic horror, especially gothic horror about the family and the home, is well-trodden territory (where’s my essay from last term about incest in wuthering heights where i somehow ended up, while researching, on an essay about wincest itself). - and supernatural is full of allusions to it. azazel’s silhouette in the pilot as intentionally strikingly similar to john’s, when he first feeds sam demon blood (framed as a CSA allegory, whether intentional or not). then azazel actually possessing john later. mary making the deal that dooms her family for years after via kissing her father on the mouth. hunting portrayed as something abnormal, irregular, taboo in direct opposition to a ‘normal family’ (tho abuse also comes from the nuclear family etc etc). then you can look at sam and dean specifically….

from the pilot, you have the woman in white telling sam, who has just left to go on a roadtrip with his brother, that he’s about to be unfaithful to jess; even if this could technically be said to be about the fact she then attempts to assault him (tho that doesn’t really fit with woman in white lore?? she goes after people who have already cheated…), it’s still portraying jess and dean as innately in opposition, just as jess has to die in order for sam to join dean. all the loaded lines about ‘the way they were raised’ - dean telling sam he can’t escape it. supernatural is clear: the rot is IN the family.

OF COURSE all of this can equally just be about familial abuse!! and IS about familial abuse!! but the way the story unfolds DOES position sam and dean in…. shall we say Roles. sam is the feminised ‘bitch’ to dean’s ‘jerk’; they’re mistaken for a couple in 1x08, in 1x18, in 2x16, in s8; they’re compared to bonnie and clyde, to mallory and mickey, serial killer lover duos. crowley tells dean, ‘you’re lying to sam like he’s your wife’. dean says, at a later opportunity, ‘what about sam? does he want a divorce?’. an ANGEL tells their HALF BROTHER that sam and dean are ‘psychotically, irrationally, EROTICALLY codependent’. dean himself is unable to name what’s between them, explicitly saying ‘love, family, whatever it is’ (which is just SUCH an odd line. Like it’s love and family between you two Dean is it not??? Why are you acting like neither of those words describe it???). then there’s the way jensen and jared act it, their physicality, eg. sam looking genuinely like he’s about to pull dean in for a kiss during playthings 2x16… i also find the whole ‘brothers don’t look at each other like that!!’ annoying, but tbh, they do give each other wild looks sometimes. the end of wendigo sticks out to me whenever i watch it as a genuine ‘why is jared/sam looking at jensen/dean like that… what possessed him…’.

wait another addition - when i first wrote this i also totally forgot about 4x14 sex and violence, which iirc has dean’s siren, originally described only in terms of sex/romance, literally telling him ‘i should be your little brother’. of course the concept of a siren that isn’t really about sex or even romance is really interesting and one valid reading - and also lends itself to a reading of dean as aro which i rly like. but i don’t think that reading is any more or less valid than the more obvious one. (irrelevant side bar but there’s a 2003 sociology book about sibling incest that i read for an essay on wuthering heights called ‘Siblings: Sex and Violence and that makes me go ??? every time i think about the episode. Literally what. That has to be a coincidence. But??)

i think in regards to why people ‘ship’ wincest, a lot of it is of course just that they just kind of See It, for whatever reason. whether it’s the thematic (which i talked on at length already sorry <3) or just the way they look at each other or just because jared and jensen are hot or just because they think it’s really interesting to explore an added dimension to sam and dean’s already messed up relationship. same with destiel, same with sastiel, same with whatever, like u said. shipping culture in general IS hugely amatonormative - people love to declare wide statements about what people who are In Love do and don’t do, which are always silly and shallow. partly why i don’t really consider myself as someone who ships things in general.

i also totally agree w u that only people within a relationship can determine what that relationship is. im not aro but i also really like the concept of relationship anarchy. however, when i see the incestuous subtext between sam and dean, it’s more in a media studies way than in a way of analysing their actual Relationship (though to be fair i’m not a wincest shipper); eg. asking the question why is their relationship portrayed ‘like that’, and what does that say about the themes of spn itself. also it is just an interesting concept to a lot of people.

TLDR the reason i can view sam and dean’s relationship as borderline incestuous isn’t due to their codependency, or dean’s intense possessiveness, or how close they are, or because they spend all of their time together, or because they’ve brought each other back from the dead multiple times and get suicidal without each other. this is even though in our society all that together IS often coded as romantic/sexual and is definitely acknowledged in that lens by the writers (hence constant comparison of them to married couples) - because it could also just as equally be completely platonic and completely insane and the result of the world’s worst trauma bond (the latter which it CERTAINLY is <3). when i talk abt canonical backing for their relationship as borderline incestuous, it’s more about the narrative framing and context surrounding it. at the very least, their relationship is ‘abnormal’, deviant (meant in the most literal meaning as an digression from social norms); different from accepted ‘sibling relationships’, pointed out by the characters around them. <- none of this makes any sense but its 3am and im on tumblr so its ok.

feel free to dm also if u want to or just send an ask back!! and also ofc feel free to argue with/disagree with me in any way u like. or ask wtf i mean by anything cause i talk too much. tbh from what u say it sounds like u just don’t really vibe with shipping culture in general (might be an assumption sorry if so) which i totally understand/agree w. but i hope i answered ur question in some way somehow

[thetypedwriter]

Children of Anguish and Anarchy Book Review

Children of Anguish and Anarchy Book Review by Tomi Adeyemi

This book was so horrible. 

No one is more disappointed than me to say that. 

I’ve gone to two of Tomi Adeyemi’s book signings, including a recent one for Children of Anguish and Anarchy.

Tomi Adeyemi herself is absolutely wonderful. She’s so intelligent, hilarious, addictively charming, and can work a room like no other. The book signing was fantastic. Too bad the book couldn’t hold up to the event itself. 

Children of Anguish and Anarchy follows as the third and last installment of the Legacy of Orisha trilogy, but doesn’t read like that at all.

Other than having the same four main characters of Tzain, Zelie, Amari, and Inan, nothing about the book concludes any issue, plot story, or character development from the previous two novels. 

A completely new villain is introduced, someone we haven't heard about as a reader in the last two books whatsoever, and obliterates any of the conflict and tension that Adeyemi worked so hard to build in her previous stories. 

Gone is the tension and literally hundreds of years of in-fighting between the Maji and the monarchy, gone is the civil war and its repercussions on Orisha, gone is even one of the main characters from the last novel, Roen, who was a significant love interest for Zelie and who has been completely disappeared in this new book all together (like, what???). 

It was incredibly lazy writing to wipe away everything the first two books created in order to “unite” against this new enemy. The sentiment is nice, but it’s not the finale we wanted or needed. 

I desired answers to Amari and Zelie’s broken friendship, closure to the Inan and Roen love triangle, a verdict on how Orisha would rebuild and who would rule. 

We get none of that. 

Instead Zelie and the others spend half their time in the book on a ship with very strong slavery parallels, and the other half in the introduced land of New Gaia.

While I thought the descriptions of New Gaia were beautiful (albeit very similar to Avatar), I was dissatisfied because the whole series at this point has been focused on Orisha and Orisha’s problems, not New Gaia and not the Skulls. 

While the plot was bad and aggrieving, the characters were even worse. 

None of the characters were interesting. They were carbon copies of each other in which all they talked about was avenging their fallen Orishan people, killing the Skulls, and protecting loved ones.

Rinse and repeat. It was boring as hell to delve into four different characters’ minds only to find that they all sounded exactly the same. 

I often had to go back to the start of the chapter to tell whose internal thoughts I was reading because they were so interchangeable and self-righteous and dull.  It is never a good sign when you can’t automatically tell who’s POV you’re reading based on their internal dialogue and tone. 

Lastly, the pacing of the book was atrocious. Everything happened so goddamn fast that I felt like I never had the chance to properly digest or internalize anything.

Oh they’re on a ship? Moving on from that. Zelie got some sort of medallion shoved into her chest?? Moving on. Wait, Maji and Titans and the monarchy are all working together after two full books of them killing each other??? Five pages and it’s done with. 

It was outrageous and insulting. 

The pacing made everything feel shallow, unimportant, and unnecessary. More than most of the plot were action scenes, while difficult to write and interesting in their own right, in this book it was so repetitive that characters killing other characters 90% of the time became egregiously tedious. 

And speaking of the action, I also found it incredibly violent and graphic for a YA book. As someone who is not a fan of gore and blood, this book had so many explicit details for no reason other than being gratuitous.

For example, at one point Zelie shoves a chicken bone through someone’s cheek. I found it repulsive and it was also incessant. 

I know some people can handle brutality, but I can’t, and found it a huge turn off and made me dislike the book so much more, especially as this was a majority of the book to boot. 

Disappointment can’t even contain my full feelings for this story. For such a wonderful trilogy to succumb to such a terrible end is a tragedy. I wish the best for Tomi Adeyemi and success for her future, but I will not read another book by her again. 

Score: 2/10

Recommendation: Read Children of Blood and Bone, a magical story that will inspire and entertain you. Read Children of Virtue and Vengeance if you really need something else, but even this book I wouldn’t recommend picking up.

Do not, I repeat, do not read Children of Anguish and Anarchy. It will leave you feeling dismayed and disheartened beyond redemption.

Bonus: Here's me, my fiance, and Tomi Adeyemi at her book signing!

[justbelievinginmagic]

ramble-y writing updates!

ATEEZ

like a waltz - chapter 6 - hi! a lot of you follow me for this lol and unfortunately im going through the biggest writing block for it. not in terms of where its going just physically writing. i have a rough timeline of the chapter and some major points written. maybe like 2k written so far? idk when itll be ready.

mirage - chapter 2 - i will be kinda honest i've put this on the back burner simply because it became too complicated in my head. i love the idea of flying pirate ship ateez with lore influences and i definitely want to explore it in other stuff! so lowkey on hold.

bewitched - chapter 2 - i want to write more of this!! i have about 1k written for the next chapter! i need to rewatch wicked to get more inspo!! tba!!

NEW! aniteez & ateez pirate crew fic!! - i am totally gonna edit what i have for this!! its aniteez appearing on the ateez ship and causing havoc. very light hearted, very fluffy. the most 'crack' fic story ive written, but approached with sincerity!! its just that aniteez are silly guys!! this will be whenever i want to update type of fic, more slice of life, adventure oneshots rather than an overarching complicated story!

NEW! halazia au fic!!! - reader is freed from strictland's control and is abandoned by her savior to face a new dimension-altered world alone! what is strictland like as a bystander to halateez's path of anarchy? another fic that i totally got inspired to write after watching the halazia mv! i have a lot of fun ideas for this one inspired by the world albums. still planning but have written like 2k? im feeling inspired for sure but this one will have angst and sometimes thats draining to write!

BTS

the dragon-blood chronicles - chapter 2 - LISTEN. no one cares about this fic lol but i have a beautiful chapter mostly written for jin and i am determined to one day post it. this is on my radar simply for that lol.

ENHYPEN

im(mortal) - chapter 4 - i am writing this currently!! enhypen is the group i am oddly least familiar with. so when it comes to writing their characters i am TIMID and CAREFUL. I have 2k written so far. some good plot points that im pleased with but nowhere close to posting time. sorry. dont wanna write the boys wrong lol.

STRAY KIDS

ariadne's thread - chapter 13 - i have stuff written!! i know ive neglected this fic!! im sowwy. but i got like some of it done lol. i am reworking the first half to better align with the scenes in the movie and im trying to figure out how to add like a riddle - rn im not super pleased with the riddle im utilizing lol. i am trying and i have not forgotten it.

TOMORROW X TOGETHER

starstruck - chapter 2 - ... ive put this on the back burner im sorry. i want to write it but rn im kinda just not in the mood for such a religious fantastical fic.

[malice-havik-stain]

Chizome Akaguro ‘Stain’ from My Hero Academia

Havik from Mortal Kombat 1

And honorable mention, because he most likely will become an F/O, Garruk Wildspeaker from Magic: The Gathering card game:

SELFSHIPPERS PLEASE REBLOG THIS POST WITH YOUR FAVORITE GIF OR PICTURE OR CLIP OF YOUR F/O!! OR YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF MERCH WHETHER YOU OWN IT OR NOT!! ANY FAVORITES!!

i want to see all of your beloveds!!!

[richincolor]

New Releases - Week of June 25, 2024

We have four books that we're watching for this week. This week will bring us a romance and a whole lot of fantasy. 

Sleep Like Death by Kalynn Bayron Bloomsbury YA

Only the truly desperate – and foolish – seek out the Knight, an ancient monster who twists wishes into curses. Eve knows this first-hand: one of her mothers was cursed by the Knight and trapped in the body of a songbird. With the unique abilities to communicate with animals and conjure weapons from nature, Eve has trained all her life to defeat him.

With more and more villagers harmed by the Knight’s corrupt deals, Eve believes she’s finally ready to face him. But when Queen Regina begins acting strangely – talking to seemingly no one, isolating herself, and lashing out at the slightest provocation – Eve must question if her powers are enough to save her family and her kingdom.

Crashing Into You by Rocky Callen Henry Holt & Co.

In this fiercely moving YA romance novel, Leti Rivera’s love of street racing is put to the test when tragedy strikes her family and threatens to tear her apart from the boy she’s falling for.

Seventeen-year-old Leti Rivera dreams of becoming a famous female street racer. Her brother taught her how to drive so fast that nothing can catch her.

But when Jacob Fleckenstein crashes into her life, Leti starts to think that running isn’t always the answer. Together, inside her car, they both feel like they’re flying, and Jacob’s gentleness and honesty threaten Leti’s vow to keep her heart tight in her fist and her grief locked away.

Yet after tragedy strikes following a race, Leti blames herself and swears an oath, a juramento, to give up driving. But will she be able to keep her promise when racing could be the very thing that saves Jacob . . . and herself? Perfect for fans of Netflix’s Atypical and I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter.

We Shall Be Monsters by Tara Sim Nancy Paulsen Books

After her sister Lasya’s sudden death, Kajal vows to do whatever it takes to bring her back. No cost is too great, even if it means preventing Lasya’s soul from joining the cycle of reincarnation. But as Kajal prepares for the resurrection, her sister’s trapped soul warps into a bhuta—a violent, wraith-like spirit hell-bent on murdering those who wronged it in life. With each kill, the bhuta becomes stronger and fiercer, and Kajal’s chances of resurrecting Lasya with her soul intact grow slimmer.

Blamed for Lasya’s rampage and condemned as a witch, Kajal is locked away with little hope of escape. That is, until two strangers who label themselves rebels arrive and offer to free her. The catch: She must resurrect the kingdom’s fallen crown prince, aiding their coup to overthrow the usurper who sits the throne. Desperate to return to Lasya’s body, Kajal rushes to revive the crown prince . . . only to discover that she’s resurrected another boy entirely.

All her life, Kajal has trusted no one but her sister. But with Lasya dead and rebels ready to turn her over to the usurper’s ruthless soldiers, Kajal is forced to work with the boy she mistakenly revived. Together, they must find the crown prince before the rebels discover her mistake, or the bhuta finally turns its murderous fury on the person truly responsible for Lasya’s death: Kajal.

Children of Anguish and Anarchy (Legacy of Orïsha #3) by Tomi Adeyemi Henry Holt & Co.

New allies rise. The Blood Moon nears. Zélie faces her final enemy. The king who hunts her heart.

When Zelie seized the royal palace that fateful night, she thought her battles had come to an end. The monarchy had finally fallen. The maji had risen again. Zélie never expected to find herself locked in a cage and trapped on a foreign ship. Now warriors with iron skulls traffic her and her people across the seas, far from their homeland.

Then everything changes when Zélie meets King Baldyr, her true captor, the ruler of the Skulls, and the man who has ravaged entire civilizations to find her. Baldyr’s quest to harness Zélie’s strength sends Zélie, Amari, and Tzain searching for allies in unknown lands.

But as Baldyr closes in, catastrophe charges Orïsha’s shores. It will take everything Zélie has to face her final enemy and save her people before the Skulls annihilate them for good.

[malice-havik-stain]

14 Days of Cupid’s Arrow: Day Four

I think it would be fun to visit a hero museum in the MHA universe. There’s the original costumes of heroes who have passed away, and every prototype and piece of support gear on display.

But heaven forbid if there’s a tour guide going over the history of each hero and Stain is there. Because if there’s dirt on a hero, Stain would know! And he ain’t letting that shit slide! lol.

Tour guide: “And here we have the famous (enter hero name). He was a chivalrous hero who saved many lives. His quirk-“

Stain, raises his hand while in complete disguise: “Did you know he was secretly a pervert and groomed several young women, while also cheating on his wife?”

Tour guide: “I…. Well, it’s not documented, anywhere-“

Stain: “There were several woman that were too scared to come forth back in the day. Afraid they would be shunned by society by speaking against their precious hero who saved many lives.”

Me: “Honey, you’re gonna get us kicked out.”

Havik, chuckling: “Nah, let him keep going. I’m learning something.”

Everytime Stain raises his hand the tour guide visibly sighs. 🤣

Havik would probably like cat cafes. I know that sounds out of character, but HEAR ME OUT.

I like to think Chaosrealm is like Istanbul, where cats roam freely and the residents there treat stray cats with love and respect. And the cats living there aren’t afraid to go up to strangers for pets, cuddles, and beg for food. So being at a cat cafe would be the closest to that experience.

Havik loves cats. They’re fierce, independent, and don’t take any shit. They’re also hilarious!

He would have a blast at a cat cafe. Delicious pastries and cute cuddly cats! He would let them pile on top of them and take a nap.

“It’s illegal for me to move. They’re sleeping.”

Stain would roll his eyes, doubling up on his face masks to avoid the smell of cats.

Oh, well. Not everyone loves cats, lol. 🤣

[most-screwed-by-writers-tourney]

Already got a list of the ships for the ULTIMATE fucked up ship tournament done. Hopefully will start it in two weeks or so. This is a list of the ships:

1. The Darkling and Alina, The Grisha Trilogy

2. Batman and The Riddler, The Batman 2022

3. stu and billy from scream

4. Vriska and Terezifrom homestuck

5. light and l from death note

6. Dirk Strider and Jake English from Homestuck,

7. Vio and Shadow Link from the Four Swords manga

8. Emilio Murkmere x Tobias Schenien from Ghost Eyes

9. Oswald x Ed from Gotham

10. Anna Croft/ Yu Junghyeok (orv)

11. Dimitri/Edelgard - Fire Emblem Three Houses

12. Will Graham and Hannibal, Hannibal

13. yoonbum x sangwoo, killing stalking

14. Starscream and Megatron, from the Transformers franchise

15. Mukuro Ikusaba/Junko Enoshima from Dangan Ronpa

16. Ladd Russo and Lua Klein from Baccano!

17. Daida and Miranjo from Ousama Ranking

18. Shizuo and Izaya from Durarara!!

19. theresa x otto, honkai impact

20. dorian x fem! inquisitor, dragon age

21. renee x huey from baccano

22. nanami x touga, revolutionary girl Utena

23. madoka and homura, puella magi madoka magica

24. (Ronan Lynch x Joseph Kavinksy) - The Raven Cycle

25. Seishirou and Subaru from Tokyo Babylon/X

26. Misaki/Satou, Welcome to the NHK

27. Bakugou and Deku (My Hero Academia)

28. Akito and Shigure, Fruits Basket

29. House and Wilson, House MD

30. Scarlet and Chase, I’m the Grim Reaper

31. Jong-woo and Moon-jo, Strangers from Hell

32. Moon-young and Gang-tae, It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

33. Medea and Helio, Your Throne

34. Celty and Shinra, Durarara

35. Akira and Ryo, Devilman

36. Yoshino and Kirishima, Raise wa Tanin Ga ii

37. Chateau and Ryang-ha, Love of Kill

38. Satoko and Shinpei, Hotaru no Yomeiri

39. Clarice and Hannibal, Silence of the Lambs

40. He Yan and Fu Shenxing, Who is the Prey

41. Cain/Owen from Promise of Wizard / Mahoyaku

42. Texas/Lappland from Arknights.

43. Jeongmin and Siyun, Dreaming Freedom

44. Han Chae-ah and Park Yunsu, Trapped

45. akane kurashiki/junpei tenmyouji from zero escape

46. Juri/Shiori (from Revolutionary Girl Utena)

47. Jackie/Shauna, Yellowjackets)

48. Cassandra/Rapunzel from the Tangled series

49. Damien and Elena from vampire diaries

50. Kristoph/Phoenix, Ace Attorney

51. Juice and Chibs, Sons of Anarchy

52. Utena/Anthy from the anime Revolutionary Girl Utena.

53. Cutthroat x Swindler, from Akudama Drive.

54. Yuno Gasai x Yukkiteru Amano from Mirai Nikki

55. Sal/Syakesan x Wadanohara from Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea.

56. Jeremy and the SQUIP, Be More Chill

57. Ian Grimm and Poppy Li, Mythic Quest

58. Lestat de Lioncourt and Louis De Pointe du Lac, Interview with the Vampire

59. fuuma and kamui from clamp's x/1999

60. Victor and Eli, Vicious

61. Elisabeth and Der Tod, Elisabeth

62. Rudolf and Der Tod, Elisabeth

63. Veronica Sawyer and J.D, Heathers

64. Akechi Goro × Persona 5 protagonist (Akira Kurusu/Ren Amamiya)

65. Hondomachi and Fukuda, ID: Invaded

66. Harley Quinn and the Joker, DC

67. Christine and Erik, Phantom of the Opera

68. Lisa Reisert and Jackson Rippner, Red Eye

69. Valeta and Reinhart, I Failed to Oust the Villain

70. Light Yagami and Misa Amane, Death Note

71. Sumire and Hakubo, Toilet Bound Hanako Kun

72. Mika Harima and Seiji Yagiri, Durarara!!

73. Emma Wilson and Yohan Lee, My Deepest Secret

74. Sarah and Jareth, Labyrinth

75. Addie LaRue and Luc, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue

76. Ja Yoon and The Nobleman, The Witch, Part One: Subversion

77. Makima and Denji, Chainsaw Man

78. Kyoko and Katsuya, Fruits Basket

79. Mrs. De Winter and Maxim, Rebecca

80. Mutsuki Tooru and Urie Kuku, Tokyo Ghoul

81. Victor and Elizabeth, The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein

82. Constanta, Magdalena, and Alexei and Dracula, A Dowry of Blood

83. Ha-im and Geunhu, Never Ending Darling

84. Frank Cotton & Julia Cotton - Hellraiser (1987)

85. Yuki Cross & Kaname Kuran, Vampire Knight

86. Johann and Sasha, The Double Agent

87. Sian and Yul, Secret Alliance

88. Charlize and Dylan, The Taming of the Tyrant

89. Lin and Dosung, 340 Days

90. Makishima Shougo & Shinya Kougami from PSYCHOPASS.

91. Charlotte Willmore x Lizzie Wells, from The Perfection (2018).

92. “Hikaru”/Yoshiki from The Summer hikaru Died,

93. Dolph Laserhawk x Alex Taylor from Captain Laserhawk

94. Dolph Laserhawk x Rayman from Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix

95. Yuuji Itadori x Mahito from Jujitsu Kaisen

96. (luo binghe x shen qingqiu) from scum villain's self saving system.

97. Heaven Official's Blessing. Ships He Xuan and Shi Qingxuan.

98. Ives and Boyd from Ravenous 1999

99. Eve and Vilanelle, Killing Eve

100. Sephiroth/Cloud (FF7 Compilation)

101. Clary and Jace from the Mortal Instruments

102. Rika Sasaki/Yoshiyuki Terada, Cardcaptor Sakura,

103. Veralidaine Sarrasri/Numair Salmalín, from the Immortals Quartet

104. Eli/Oskar, Let the Right One In (2008).

105. Lavan Firestorm/Kalira, Brightly Burning

106. Lapis/Jasper (Steven Universe

107. PearlescentMoon/SMajor, the Life Series

108. Christine/Erik (Phantom Takarazuka)

109. The Brain/Julia (Animaniacs 2020)

110. Sterek, Teen Wolf

111. Jonathan Sims/Elias Bouchard, The Magnus Archives

112. Fyodor and Nikolai, Bungo Stray Dogs

113. Beatrice and Battler, Beabato, from "Umineko”

114. Father Paul/Riley Flynn; Midnight Mass

115. Edward Teach/Izzy Hands; Our Flag Means Death;

116. Batman/Joker

117. Cesare Borgia/Lucrezia Borgia - The Borgias

118. Dean/Sam Winchester from Supernatural

119. Vegas/Pete (Kinnporsche: The Series)

120. Hitori Uzune and Nanaki Kazuaki from Hatoful Boyfriends.

121. Lanze/Bluepool and Anan from Beauty and the Beasts

122. Blade and Dan Heng from Honkai Star Rail

123. Spike and Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

124. Isaac and Finn, I’m Dating a Psychopath

125. Lenore and Annabelle, Nevermore

126. Estelle and Khalid, From a Knight to a Lady

127. Layla and Matthias, Cry or Better Yet Beg

128. Hyuna and Luka, Alien Stage

129. Karuto and Lily, Dear my Living Dead

130. Andrew and Ashley Graves, Coffin of Andy and Leyley

131. Lydia Deetz/Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice

132. Harrow and gideon from gideon the ninth/Locked Tomb

133. Cathy x Heathcliff (Wuthering Heights)

134. Felix x Ollie (Saltburn)

135. Grace Chastity x Max Jaegerman, Nerdy Prudes Must Die

136. Mikoto and Haijin, Tsuiraku JK to Haijin Kyoushi

137. Eucenielle and Tes, I Hold the Tyrant’s Heart

138. Claire and Balt, The East Wind of the Altas

139. Usui and Misaki, Maid Sama

140. Sebastian Michaelis and Ciel Phantomhive, Black Butler

141. Dabi x Hawks from My Hero Academia

142. Alice “Daisy” Tonner/Basira Hussain, The Magnus Archives

143. Naruto and Sasuke, from Naruto

144. Byleth Eisner / Jeritza von Hrym from fire emblem three houses

145. Akira x keisuke from togainu no chi (nitro+chiral game)

146. Lucy Gray Baird and Coriolanus Snow, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

147. Elias and Chise, The Ancient Magus Bride

148. Gendo and Yui Ikari, Neon Genesis Evangelion

149. Punpun and Aiko, Goodnight Punpun

150. Sang-hyun and Tae-ju, Thirst

151. Hawa and Adam, The Guy Upstairs

152. Satoru Fujnuma and Gaku Yashiro, Erased

153. Root and Sameen Shaw, Person of Interest

154. The Doctor and the master, Doctor Who

155. Juliette and Warner, Shatter Me

156. Ich and Mrs Danvers, Rebecca das Musical

157. Kokichi Ouma and Shuichi Saihara, Danganronpa V3

158. Roxy and Velma, Chicago

159. Griffith and Guts, Berserk

160. Creed and Train, Black Cat

161. Torso and Mutsuki, Tokyo ghoul

162. Vash and Knives, Trigun

163. Sweeney Tod and Mrs Lovett, Sweeney Tod

164. Kuroi and Mashiro, Thou Dhall Not Die

165. Amy and Nick, Gone Girl

166. India and Charlie Stoker, Stoker

167. Pig and Runt, Disco Pigs

168. Anakin and Padme, Star Wars

169. Chloe and Kairos, I Shall Kill That Sweet Devil

170. Jung and Seol, Cheese in the Trap

171. Anthy and Akio Ohtori, Revolutionary Girl Utena

172. Feyre and Rhysand, A Court of Thrones and Roses

173. Lelouch and Suzaku, Code Geass

174. Mikiya and Shiki, Garden of Sinners

175. Gatsby and Daisy, The Great Gatsby

176. Ivan and Till, Alien Stage

177. Sylar and Elle Bishop, Heroes

178. Helena and Demetrius, A Midsummer Night’s Dream

179. V and Rika, Mystic Messenger

180. Yukari and George, Paradise Kiss

[kaliido-s]

Well, the kaiju ship I ship most is Mothollante, but everyone’s already given their thoughts on that so yeah. Has a lot of the pros of Mothzilla with few of the cons, as well as the wonderful aesthetic of a genetically-engineered abomination and a goddess of nature. There’s also the obligatory puns about flowers and butterflies, and Mothra-based hurt/comfort and fluff which is one of my favorite kaiju fan plots.

Mothzilla’s… alright when handled in a certain way, but it’s a “the ship is fine but why is it everywhere” type of thing. And with the MonsterVerse especially, their relationship is better if it’s platonic. All in all, I don’t really ship it, unless a particular person’s take leans to the “humanity’s sins and nature’s virtues” aspect of both of them.

Gong’s pretty good. Tired old men being tired together.

Rodorah’s pure arson and anarchy and I value it for that, but no way is that dynamic anything approaching healthy. I ship it for the lolz.

I’ve jokingly shipped Legion from Gamera and Destroyah together before. Two big buff arthropod ladies.

Angzilla has the same benefits as Gong, really, but with more Showa craziness. I find Kongzillra to be a funny threesome, esp. because GvK would have been over in ten minutes if Mothra was there to slap some sense into Goji, to calm Kong down, and to alert the humans to Mechagoji/Ghidorah.

2MUTO is the kaiju ship I like second most, it gets points for being the only canon kaiju couple I can think of outside of the two OG Rodans, and also because I just love the MUTOs in general. Fr though, those two bugs were so sweet together, and I do think they had as much if not more chemistry than the human leads. Anyone who says that Femuto would have committed mate cannibalism on Hokmuto can face my wrath. MUTOs are clearly designed to fight, hunt, and live in pairs (therefore it makes no sense for her to kill and eat him), and it’s entirely possible they’re like crocodilians (i.e. female raises the kids and protects the nest, male brings her and the wittle babies food. Babies stay with the parents for several years until they can live on their own, and may stay within the parents’ territory for several more years. But now I’m going on one of my MUTO ecology headcanon rambles again…)

That’s all I can think of for now, have fun with these and have a nice day!

ooh this is a long one

- I think the funny thing about the hurt/comfort fluff is I only really like it with the Heisei Mothra. For some reason, maybe because she starts out as a larva, she always seemed a bit less like a goddess to me and more like a really caring person just fighting for what they love. While I read other Mothras as more closed off and unsure in social situations because of their attachment to world peace, Heisei Mothra feels more sociable and peppy, and thus capable of committed relationships

- continuing that, Mothzilla I have never really been a fan of, and I think Goji and Mothra being friends is far more interesting. They care so much and mean so much to each other, but it’s because they value their friendship, and neither of them have really had a relationship like that before. They started off as a business relationship and got closer over time, and I think their friendship is very sweet.

- Kongzilla is (usually) very relaxed old man yaoi and I like that a lot

- If you read my other previous ask about Rodorah, you’ll know how I feel about it. Very wacky very goofy very arson.

- Y’know what, I totally think Legion could get it. She’s pulled tons of arthropod ladies before.

- Again, relaxed old man yaoi, I like that a lot. For them it’s way more like, they’ve been friends for so long and have only gotten closer over time, and everyone’s wondering whether they’re official or not, and maybe they won’t say it out loud cause they don’t want the attention, but they are.

- I had a pretty brief Kongzillra phase and that was pretty fun. Mostly used for laughs and silly shipping dynamics where there’s no bad blood. They’re a power throuple.

- The MUTOs are so cute to me, the part where they meet each other in Chinatown, call to each other, nuzzle, and sync up their vocalizations when they kiss lives in my head rent free. It’s too bad Godzilla hates straight romance, because they were a very adorable and committed couple. (I also would be super into any MUTO ecology posts if you’re offering)

(this clip. this clip right here. the sound design, the cuteness, chefs kiss.)

[sorchathered]

Get to Know Your Moots! thanks for tagging me, @arcane-vagabond !

No pressure tags: anyone who wants to!

what's the origin of your blog title? It’s the Gaelic/Irish version of my name and red well… because of my hair lol.

OTP(s) + ship names

Captain swan, dramoine, buckynat

favorite color

Viridian green

favorite game

Stardew valley or overwatch

song stuck in your head

Oscar winning tears by raye

weirdest habit/trait

I pop my kneecaps, @fatalgraft would say it’s how I use my ponytail to pop my neck, or that I seem to be allergic to pants.

hobbies

Writing, singing, painting, playing video games.

if you work, what's your profession?

Being demon baby’s personal snack bitch.

if you could have ANY job, what would it be?

I just want to be a published author, it’s been my dream my whole life.

something you're good at

Cooking, writing (I guess?), singing, coloring hair, makeup

something you're bad at

Finishing a task (thanks adhd)

something you love

My family, my siblings, my friends, all animals but especially my pets

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff

The marvel universe, the dc universe, pop culture from the early 2000s, little women and the complex characterization of the march sisters, so much more.

something you hate

Disingenuous people, liars, when someone doesn’t understand sarcasm, sushi, narcissists, snow (which is convenient since I live in the fucking TUNDRA), snakes.

something you collect

Seashells, collectible spoons from everyplace I go, Starbucks been there series mugs.

something you forgot

To call my doctor today 🤦🏼‍♀️

love language?

I’m a words of affirmation girlie, I need to be told I’m good at something or loved or that I’m pretty. Mommy issues 😂

favorite movie/show

Movies: Princess bride, ever after, the mummy, lotr, Captain America-the winter soldier, I unironically love the fast and the furious movies, pride and prejudice, little women, howl’s moving castle.

TV Shows: Yellowstone, sons of anarchy, law and order svu, vampire diaries, true blood, right now I’m obsessed with paradise.

favorite food

Pasta, fried chicken, my homemade Mac and cheese, Brussels sprouts.

favorite animal

cats, dogs, otters, penguins

what were you like as a child?

Very insecure, let a lot of people run me over emotionally because I just wanted to be liked.

favorite school subject

History and English lit.

least favorite subject

Math, I have dyscalculia and it always made it so difficult.

what's your best character trait?

I try so hard to be as kind and understanding as possible, sometimes to my detriment. I’m also hilarious.

what's your worst character trait?

I get overstimulated very easily and lose my shit, but thankfully I have great people around me who know how to help me.

if you could travel through time, who would you most like to meet? Idk that there’s anyone I’d want to meet, but I wish I could have one more day with my Papa.

recommend one of your favorite fanfics!

The entire beer boy and sugar universe by @roosterforme

Hollywood!bob by @attapullman

Dhtn by @arcane-vagabond

And the snappening by @baezen who rudely deleted it 😂

[brigdh]

Is it mid-February? Yes. Am I only just now getting around to finishing up reviewing the books I read in 2024? Also yes.

My Statistics: Total Read: 59 books By women: 29 books, 49% of the total By People of Color: 5, 8% (Oof, really need to up that for 2025) Books I managed to get off my TBR list: 27, 48% New books I bought: 8, 14% Reviews written: 51, 86%. The ones I haven't reviewed at this point I either don't remember well enough to have much to say, or are too similar to another one I did review. I've linked all the reviews I did write down below.

Top Five Books, in no particular order:

King Hereafter, Dorothy Dunnett

The Devourers, Indra Das

The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi, Shannan Chakraborty

A Fatal Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum: Murder in Ancient Rome, Emma Southon

Rough Trade, Katrina Carrasco

Bottom Five Books:

Smilla's Sense of Snow, Peter Hoeg, trans by Tiina Nunnally

A World Lit Only by Fire: The Medieval Mind and the Renaissance: Portrait of an Age, William Manchester

The Whale: A Love Story, Mark Beauregard

Better the Blood, Michael Bennett

The Burning Girls, C.J. Tudor

Complete list of the books I read in 2024 under the cut

January:

Dive Deeper: Journeys with Moby Dick, George Cotkin

The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi, Shannan Chakraborty

Death and Hard Cider, Barbara Hambly

Better the Blood, Michael Bennett

February:

A Fatal Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum: Murder in Ancient Rome, Emma Southon

Beautiful Darkness, Fabien Vehlmann and Kerascoet

Worn: A People’s History of Clothing, Sofi Thanhauser

The Piazza Tales, Herman Melville

Women’s Work: The First 20,000 Years, Elizabeth Berber

March:

The Golden Thread: How Fabric Changed History, Kassia St. Clair

Spain: the Centre of the World, 1519-1682, Robert Goodwin

The Man Who Invented Fiction: How Cervantes Ushered in the Modern World, William Egginton

The Spanish Inquisition, Helen Rawlings

Lope de Vega – Three Major Plays, Trans. Gwynne Edwards

April:

Imperial Spain, J.H. Elliott

Don Quixote, Cervantes. Trans. Grossman

Don Quixote, Cervantes. Trans. Lathrop

May:

Spanish Society, 1348-1700, Teofilo F. Ruiz

Desolation Island, Patrick O’Brian

June:

Dante in Love: The World’s Greatest Poem and How It Made History, Harriet Rubin

Kiss Her Once For Me, Alison Cochrun

Italy in the Central Middle Ages, Ed, David Abulafia

July:

System Collapse, Martha Wells

Melville: His World and Work, Andrew Delbanco

Reading Dante: From Here to Eternity, Prue Shaw

August:

King Hereafter, Dorothy Dunnett

All the White Spaces, Ally Wilkes

Smilla's Sense of Snow, Peter Hoeg, trans by Tiina Nunnally

Doctor Faustus, Christopher Marlowe

A History of Magic and Witchcraft: Sabbats, Satan and Superstitions in the West, Frances Timbers

Royal Witches: Witchcraft and the Nobility in Fifteenth-Century England, Gemma Hollman

September:

The Divine Comedy: Hell, Dante, trans by Dorothy Sayers

The Inferno, Dante, trans by Robert and Jean Hollander

The Divine Comedy: Inferno, Dante, trans by Robin Kirkpatrick

Sub Rosa, Jennifer Burke

The Ruin of All Witches, Malcolm Gaskill

The White Ship: Conquest, Anarchy and the Wrecking of Henry I’s Dream, Charles Spencer

Nathaniel’s Nutmeg: The True and Incredible Adventures of the Spice Trader who Changed the Course of History, Giles Milton

A World Lit Only by Fire: The Medieval Mind and the Renaissance: Portrait of an Age, William Manchester

From Virile Woman to WomanChrist: Studies in Medieval Religion and Literature, Barbara Newman

October:

The King in Yellow, Robert W. Chambers

The Golden Day: A Study in American Literature and Culture, Lewis Mumford

The Burning Girls, C.J. Tudor

The Final Girl Support Group, Grady Hendrix

When Darkness Loves Us, Elizabeth Engstrom

From Below, Darcy Coates

How to Survive in the North, Luke Healy

The Devil of Great Island: Witchcraft and Conflict in Early New England, Emerson W. Baker

When No One Is Watching, Alyssa Cole

The Devourers, Indra Das

November:

Rough Trade, Katrina Carrasco

The Divine Comedy: Purgatory, Dante, trans by Dorothy Sayers

Purgatorio, Dante, trans by Robert and Jean Hollander

The Central Middle Ages, Europe 950-1320, Daniel Power, ed

December:

Far Out: Recent Queer Science Fiction and Fantasy, Paula Guran, ed

Love and Death in the American Novel, 2nd ed, Leslie Fiedler

The Whale: A Love Story, Mark Beauregard

Dayswork, Chris Bachelder and Jennifer Habel

A Walk in the Park: The True Story of a Spectacular Misadventure in the Grand Canyon, Kevin Fedarko

Brave the Wild River: The Untold Story of the Women Who Mapped the Botany of the Grand Canyon, Melissa L. Sevigny

[brunettemarionette]

𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬: OPEN

My shipping requests are now open (unless stated otherwise), I do have a general rules for requesting page in case you want to read it. Inbox me through my asks. I won't be able to see if you've requested otherwise.

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐞𝐭 (𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝟖 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩) ᴵᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ˢᵉⁿᵈ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶜʰᵒˢᵉⁿ ᵈᵉᵗᵃⁱˡˢ ᵗʰᵉⁿ ᴵ ʷⁱˡˡ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᶜʰᵒᵒˢᵉ ᵗʰᵉᵐ ᶠᵒʳ ʸᵒᵘ

Ship

Reason why I shipped you

How you met

Headcanons

Incorrect Quotes

Who I think would be your best friend.

Who I think you wouldn't be good with

Pet I think you two would get.

Your relationship song

Your relationship trope

Plot tropes

Moodboard

Their Love Language

Domestic Headcanons

First Date

Family and Children

What they love about you

𝐂𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐞.𝐠. 𝐓𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐖𝐨𝐥𝐟, 𝐗-𝐌𝐞𝐧, 𝐓𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭.

Your mutation

Your species

Your 'gift', 'quirk'

Your 'coven'

𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐄𝐱𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞

Inbox me if you would like to do an exchange with me.

���𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐩

Send in a character of your choosing and I'll create the match up with the person of your own choice.

𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐬

if you ask for a fandom that’s not on this list but I know enough about it I will try but otherwise I will just skip the fandom asked for — maximum of three fandoms.

The Hunger Games

Harry Potter

Twilight

Marvel/MCU

X-Men Movies

The Fast and Furious Franchise

Suicide Squad

Batman (Movies)

Vampire Diaries

Victorious

Teen Wolf

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Sons Of Anarchy

Supernatural

Skins

Charmed

The Walking Dead

True Blood

Stranger Things

𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝:

Pronouns and Your sexuality (this is an important as it effects who you're paired with, though you can always ask for a specific gender to be matched with or not matched with. It does help me a lot if you specify)

Your personality

What you look for in a partner and what you hate in a partner

Your aesthetic and favourite colour

Your likes, hobbies and passions

Also anything you would like to add yourselves.

𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐤𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞. 𝐈 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 @ 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞.