#ship all the Saru ships

[lostyesterday]

Riker/Troi, Jadzia/Worf, and Michael/Book are the trinity of good canon het ships in Star Trek to me.

[ilovefredjones]

tilly is doing too much to be a cadet goddamn

[ridiasfangirlings]

Mikosaru time please

But Omega saru helping alpha mikoto calm down with his scent. Like saru has a really nice and calming scent for someone who is willing to let the world burn down. Maybe one day mikoto is feeling agitated and antsy from the red power and everyone knows it and can smell it, so when a strain problem arises everyone but mikoto, saru, and Anna go, as Anna and saru are his babysitters but saru just can't stand the smell or that looming fear from it and he can see it making Anna feel antsy too, so he says f it and releases some of his own scent to calm mikoto while telling him through gritted teeth to cool his jets. And it somehow ends with all three in a nest just relaxing.

Honestly just wish for it to end with family fluff. I hope you have been feeling good

Can you imagine how much Fushimi would hate having a ‘nice and calming’ scent, like just being an omega pisses him off on its own but also having this lovely floral scent is like the last straw XD Maybe for that reason Fushimi always tries to keep his emotions neutral, like trying very hard not emit any scent at all because the last thing he wants to hear is how nice his scent is (imagine Niki teasing him about this all the time, like what a sweet little omega my monkey is with his pretty scent). He does occasionally use it after he and Yata move in together though, like he’s gotten into the habit that whenever Yata’s being too much of a loud idiot Fushimi will let out a little scent to calm him down and hush him up. Because of this Homra’s kinda accidentally aware of it, like imagine after the fight with the twins from Side Red Yata’s pretty pent up and Fushimi lets out some scent without realizing it. Kusanagi makes a comment about it being a nice smell and a good way to calm things down as Fushimi makes a face, Totsuka says see even King is more relaxed, to think Fushimi has that kind of power.

So then imagine one day maybe Homra’s been dealing with a few different issues that’s required Mikoto to do a lot of burning and he’s on edge, like he’s even summoned his Sword a few times and it’s clear to everyone that his power is not wanting to cooperate today. Totsuka can help calm him somewhat normally but say he actually had to like go out of town on an errand so he isn’t around and Mikoto’s Red power is just going wild to the point everyone is aware. A Strain situation comes up and Kusanagi decides it’s something the rest of them can handle, telling Mikoto to stay at the bar and get some rest. As the rest of the group gets ready to head out Kusanagi asks Fushimi to stay behind, Fushimi scowls and Kusanagi says with Mikoto in this state he’d rather someone with sense stay behind and help watch Anna. Fushimi clicks his tongue but mutters out a ‘fine,’ probably not thrilled at the idea of having to stay behind with Mikoto.

He sits himself in a corner of the bar while Anna sits on the couch with Mikoto. There’s this tense feeling in the air and it’s even making Anna frown, Fushimi can’t concentrate at all himself because he’s just hyper aware of Mikoto’s current mental state. Not really knowing what else to do, just wanting to relieve some of this pressure that’s making his whole body on edge, Fushimi releases some of his scent. Imagine Mikoto just gives this sigh and it’s like the weight in the bar has lightened almost instantly, Fushimi can see Anna relax too. He intends to stay away from them but imagine Anna holds out a hand and says ‘Saruhiko.’ Fushimi grumbles out a ‘what’ and Anna says that Saruhiko is helping Mikoto to calm down. Mikoto says it’s fine behind her but the air is still stuffy. Fushimi finally clicks his tongue and slides off the chair, cautiously moving to stand by the couch as he releases a little more scent. Without a word Mikoto reaches out and drags him onto the couch and now Fushimi is nice and trapped between Mikoto and Anna. Anna looks at Fushimi and says Mikoto is relaxing now, Fushimi irritably mutters  that he can see that, squirming a bit before just surrendering himself to be cuddled on the couch for a while. 

[eastsideofthemoon]

Celebrating Black History Month

Captain on the Bridge: CAPTAIN MICHAEL BURNHAM

Seasons 4 was our first full season of Michael as captain (finally)! So I'm reflecting on things she did that stood out to me. Also, it's Black History Month! She's our first Black female lead in a Star Trek Series and our first Black female lead captain, played brilliantly by Sonequa Martin-Green.

1. The Queen of Chaotic Ingenuity

Michael is a master of thinking on her feet. If a plan goes awry, she can course correct on the fly (bars). Honestly, we've seen her do this throughout Disco, but as captain, we especially see it in the season opener, Kobayashi Maru, with the Alshain (aka The Butterfly People). When their re-contact mission goes sideways, Michael is able to identify that there is an issue with their navigation and work with her crew to come up with a solution while being chased and shot at.

The Alshain did not report the problem, but by providing them a solution - no strings attached - Captain Burnham was able to win over their trust with the Federation.

2. Collaborator

I love how Michael respects the expertise of her crew and encourages their involvement with problem-solving. Having personally been on teams where collaboration was encouraged, it does a great deal in boosting team morale, building teamwork, and communicating through action that the individual team members' skills and ideas are valued. This is seen best in Anamoly and Stormy Weather. It's also seen with how she suggested to Book that he talk to Dr. Culbert. As a counselor, he's more equipped to manage Book's mental and emotional state after losing Kwejian.

3. Recognizing the needs of her crew

"All In" was one of my favorite episodes this season. The fun, the action, and Owosekun getting to shine. One of my favorite scenes was seeing how Michael responded to Owosekun's outburst with Saru from a previous episode. Instead of choosing to double down with additional punishment or verbal reprimand, she saw an opportunity to allow Owosekun to do more in her service to the mission at hand.

O: Why bring me?

M: Saru told me about what happened at the subspace rift. How you didn't want to stand down when he told you to.

O: I was totally out of bounds. I apologized to him.

M: I know. I also know how it feels to want to do something. Anything. And how it feels when you can't.

Michael recognized Owosekun's actions didn't come from a place of rebellion but a place of wanting to do more to help. Michael found an opportunity to allow her the space to fulfill that desire and utilize that drive.

Also, allowing a place on her ship that provides mental and emotional support for the crew via Dr. Culbert becoming the ship's councilor is the sign of a leader that cares about the whole health of her crew. Yes, I know other captains have had a ship’s counselor. The point it Captain Burnham does too and it deserves recognition.

4. Balancing her heart and duty

Captain Burnham had the challenge of being the supporting partner to the man she loved, who lost his entire home planet while maintaining her commitment to Starfleet. And she did a stellar job. Yes, she loves Book deeply and was willing to do all she could to help him. But when he went rogue, she chose to stay committed to the course of a peaceful first contact, despite it putting her at odds with the love of her life. Furthermore, when she thought Book died (Sonequa gave one of the best performances in Star Trek), she was still able to see the mission through, despite her heartbreak.

5. How she handled the Magistrate

Although empathetic to their plight, Captain Burnham still set clear boundaries with the magistrate about WHO has the authority, what WILL happen while on HER ship, and some food for thought when they arrive to wherever they find refuge. And she didn't have to raise her voice to do it. One's ability to yell at subordinates is not a true show of power and authority.

6. The Beginnings of a Diplomat?

Now we know Michael is a Kirk-type captain. And this season, she does not like politics or politicians. But during season 4, as much as she can’t stand it, we are shown that Captain MB may have the makings of a Diplomat as shown best in All Is Possible and But To Connect.

7. Leading a successful First Contact

Captain Burnham led a first contact like none other. A true first contact with serious stakes riding on its success or failure. After successfully getting through the Galatic Barrier (shout out to Detmer's immaculate piloting) and utilizing her (Michael’s) xenoanthropologic skills to investigate the 10-C's home planet, she along with some of the Federation's best had to figure out how to connect with the 10-C. A truly alien species, where universal translators failed to help with communication and who Starfleet had 0 records of. What makes Captain Burnham stand out is her willingness to step out on faith. She led her team on a mission on the 10-C's home planet to find some form of culture context to aid in their ability to communicate with them. It paid off. It laid the foundation for the first contact team and the USS Discovery crew to help understand how to communicate with the 10-C. Also, it should be noted that Michael admitted to President Rillak that she was angry, but we don't see her anger and frustration run her emotions or hinder her ability to command. I've seen people accuse her of being emotional. There's a difference between emotional intelligence and being emotional.

Also, I admire her recognizing when to take the lead and when to be a team player. As already stated, her calm demeanor and unwavering trust in the crew were excellent in helping them get across the Galatic Barrier. But she also recognized that it was President Rillak's voice that needed to be heard when informing everyone that the DMA moved to the Alpha Quadrant. It takes maturity to know when someone else need to lead and humility to let them lead. All of these actions lead to a successful first contact.

Conclusion:

In closing, Captain Michael Burnham is not the same Michael Burnham we met in season 1. In season 4, she has inner peace. She has a balance with human emotions and her Vulcan-trained logic. She knows who she is and has confidence in herself. Her duty to Starfleet and the Federation is matched with joy in what she's fighting for. Captain Michael Burnham is THE captain of the USS Discovery. No one else.

I want to end with this. There's plenty of room for more than one Black Starfleet captain. We can celebrate Sisko, Burnham, and Freeman in a way that respects them all. There's no need to pit them against each other. They all matter and are important in representing Black people in the future.

Happy Black History Month

[mxflowercheck]

Adira&Tilly thing that was in my head for some time

Not beta read like AT ALL

- Hey there?

Tilly leans other a console to look at Adira. They’re curled up almost under it, hugging their knees and staring into nothing.

- Lieutenant Stamets and Doctor Culber won’t be pleased with you staying up late, you know, right? Maybe move to..somewhere they don’t work.

- You’re also staying up late - Adira mumbles, not looking up, but also not tensing or outright sassing Tilly off. That’s a good sign.

- I am, technically, not a crew member anymore. Just visiting while you’re docking. - she keeps her tone light, but allows longing to slip into it. Adira hates being belittled. - So they can scold me, sure, but…i have an escape route.

There’s a huff and then silence. Light, familiar rumble of ships systems. Tilly waits a minute, shifts uncomfortably and tries again.

- Wanna talk about it?

Adira silent for another minute, swaying back and forth a bit.

- Yes. Yes I do. - they look up, and here it is - the firm, determined stare, Adira’s signature. Tilly gives them a slightly awkward smile and sits near them, cross-legged.

- So? Venting? Gossiping? Both? One and then the other to get distracted? I can bring ice cream.

Adira giggles, still looking at the floor. Tilly can see now that their cheeks are still wet from tears. She doesn’t ask even though she wants to bury anyone who made their…well, sibling, feel like this.

- None, i guess? I…It’s about Trill. The symbiont. Gray. - they smile fondly at their boyfriend’s name. - It’s…hard.

- Yeah, i can imagine. I had a parasite in me once - not that Trill is a parasite, but you get the idea, something existing in you. Creepy as hell.

- You did? - their eyebrows shot up and they finally looked at Tilly. - W- How did *that* happen?

- Oh, long story. It’s how we got Hugh back! I tell you later. For now it’s about you - she pokes them with an elbow lightly, - not about me.

- Wow. Okay. - Adira giggles nervously, rubbing their neck. - Can i..can i ask? How did you understand you want to be a teacher?

- Pretty sure you were there. Remember? The arguing cadets, near-death experience?

- Yep, i do. - they scoffed. - I mean..after it? Like, you wanted to be a captain for years! How did you..

- Make that incredible leap? - Tilly smiles and sighs. - Will you throw a screwdriver at me if i give an inspirational speech?

- This time - no. But! - their raise a finger. - only this time.

- Okay, okay. - she laughs and leans back on the console. - I..I mean, when i think about it, I never wanted to be Captain. Shit, when Saru left me in charge..I thought I’d throw up even hours later. It was..awful. But being in charge of this group of cadets wasn’t. And i..at some point it hit me - my mom..my mom is not here. She won’t see me as a Captain. And suddenly it felt pointless. I..I didn’t want to be Captain, i wanted to prove I can. I wanted to be like famous Captains. But now…i have no one to prove this to. And i’m already brave and smart and loyal and- I can be that without being Captain. Maybe I don’t need to try to fit into these shoes, maybe I need shoes that allow me to be myself! To be Tilly. Because i want to be a lot of things I’m not. And maybe will never be. But i can be me.

Adira looks at her in silence, something mixed in their eyes. Sadness. Anger. Confusion.

- Firstly, it was actually very sad. Secondly, - they sigh, hiding their faces in their hands, - I don’t know who i am. What’s me and what’s Tal and what’s Gray’s memories. Where’s Adira. And who should i be? Like..you, you have a goal! You want to be a pretty good person. I want to.. - they stumble upon their own words, their hands shake a bit. - I don’t know.

Tilly moves closer to them, presses their shoulders together, wraps an arm around Adira, pulling them closer. Hugs always help, don’t they?

- You know what, I give up on speeches. How do you feel about a bit of music?

- Um. Fine, i guess? Why?

- There’s a song. - Tilly taps her badge, summoning the holo-PADD. - Really old. Like, it was old even in our time. But i love it, and it kinda has the message I’m trying to get to you.

She doesn’t scroll for a long time - the songs is almost on top of “recently listened”. Tilly opens the text and presses play.

I wish I was big, as big as my house

I'd sleep on the trees, I'd skip every crowd

But I wouldn't fit on my therapist's couch

God, I could really use him now

I wish I was God, I'd never trip up

And if I did, well, so fuckin' what?

I could be cruel and break all your stuff

Yeah, I'd be loved no matter what

But if I was God, it'd get kinda weird

'Cause you would only say what I wanna hear

And then you would die, you'd love me to death

I'd never know who the hell I am

I wish I was me, whoever that is

I could just be and not give a shit

Hey, I'll be whatever makes you a fan

'Cause I don't know who the hell I am

Adira listens attentively and soons gets what Tilly wanted to say. For reason it feels…gut-wrenching. It feels right. It feels like their scream, their words. They don’t notice tears running down their face. They cry shamelessly, but smile broadly, and Tilly pulls them into a tight hug, her curls everywhere, blocking the world around.

- The point is…does it matter, who you are? It’s you, Adira. And you have Paul, and Hugh, and me, and Gray.

- I can just be and not give a shit - they laugh through tears, hugging her back.

- Exactly.

[burningfairytales]

...Trick or treat?

*shows up 16 days late, with Starbucks*

Okay, so this is both for you, and also for @vierann who powered through her philosophy presentation and I promised I would finish that Komi drabble as a reward.

(I blame you entirely for making me ship Komi/Saru btw.)

*🏐🏐🏐🏐*🏐🏐🏐🏐*🏐🏐🏐🏐*🏐🏐🏐🏐*🏐🏐🏐🏐*

It probably goes without saying, but Komi kind of adores Bokuto. 

That guy doesn’t have an evil bone in his body. He’s fun to be around. In fact, he’s kind of a sweetheart, really - like an oversized puppy. An owl-puppy. 

Komi snorts at the thought.

“And then, I told Akaashi- hey, Komi, you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry.” Komi grins up at him. It’s easy to smile when Bokuto’s around. “I just had a funny thought.”

“Oh! Yeah, I get it, I have those all the time! So anyway, I was telling Akaashi-”

Bokuto latches into a story of their first year summer camp, which Akaashi wouldn’t have been to because he wasn’t in High School yet, but Komi was, and Komi was there for that incident, so he doesn’t really know why Bokuto is telling it to him again, but he indulges him anyway and nods along.

(Point is, Komi was there, and Komi knows what parts are accurate and what parts Bokuto likes to edit or gloss over. Either way, Bokuto tells his stories in a way that is entirely in his favour and neither Komi nor Saru nor Washio ever correct him on it. 

Konoha does, sometimes, because Konoha likes teasing Bokuto far too much, and sometimes he can be a bit of a dick about it, but it’s never malicious, so it’s whatever. Komi likes Konoha, and he likes Bokuto, and he knows that deep down, the two of them are friends, so he’s not getting involved.)

So he lets Bokuto tell his stories his way, which isn’t always entirely accurate, even if Komi doesn’t know why he does it. For Akaashi’s sake probably.

Because, in a way, there’s something warm about how freely Bokuto spins his stories for him. Something deeper in the way Bokuto smiles when Akaashi’s name comes up.

Really, Akaashi is sort of the answer to all of Bokuto’s strange behaviour, these days. 

(But when Komi thinks about it, Akaashi’s kind of the answer to all of Bokuto’s good behaviour as well. Like how he doesn’t disappear into his own head as much as he used to, and how his hands don’t shake when he messes up anymore, which they did all the time, in their first year.)

So - Komi doesn’t have it all figured out yet, but Akaashi seems to be the answer. He just isn’t sure what the question is yet.

***

He asks Saru about it, once, during their history class. Leans to the side and pokes his upper arm with a pencil when their teacher isn’t looking. It’s just curiosity. He just wants to understand.

“Hey, Saru.”

“Hm?” Saru glances over his shoulder. Komi catches a glimpse of little doodles on his notebook: swirls cover the corner of the page, and a little volleyball is drawn at the bottom. He doesn’t mean to stare, but frankly, it’s all kinds of adorable, and his thoughts start to run away with him.

“D’you know how Bokuto sometimes tells stories about our first year?”

“You mean to Akaashi?”

Komi nods. There’s something about the way Saru listens that makes him feel, well - heard. It’s different than the others.“But like. We were there. So. He knows we know it’s not always accurate, yeah? Why do you think he’s lying?”

Saru doesn’t look up from his notebook, but his voice is calm, patient - like he’s giving Komi the time he needs to figure things out himself. “I think calling it ‘lying’ is a bit too much, Komi-yan. He just likes to embellish.”

Komi’s fingers tap the edge of his pencil, trying to think. “Yeah, okay, sure. So he embellishes. But he knows we know it’s not entirely accurate.”

“You know - I sometimes think Akaashi knows, too.”

“So why-” Komi’s brow furrows.

But before he can respond, Saru gives him a slow, soft smile – in the strangest way, it makes Komi think a little of the way the sun feels when it breaks through clouds after a long rain. He loses his train of thought.

“It can’t be helped, can it?” Saru says. “That’s just how these things are.”

That doesn’t really answer anything at all, but before he can ask for clarification, their teacher shushes them with a glare.

***

“Hey, hey, Komi!” Bokuto shouts from the school gate when he sees him that morning. “Komi, hey!”

Komi grins and waves. “Good morning, Bokuto! You’re cheerful today.”

“I’m cheerful always,” Bokuto replies. “And also I have something for you!”

Glancing at Akaashi waiting at his side, he frowns, opening his mouth and closing it again, and Akaashi holds up a hand in surrender. “As long as no one is about to get hurt, I don’t want to know.”

“Sorry, ‘Kaashi,” Bokuto says, frown deepening. “I really wanna tell you, I just-”

“Please don’t worry, Bokuto-san, I’m not upset. I will wait for you two at the gym.”

He touches Bokuto's arm, his fingers lingering perhaps a moment too long for it to be completely casual - or maybe that's just Komi's imagination. Then he nods at Komi and turns to head towards the gymnasium.

Bokuto stares after him, and that puppy imagery pops back into Komi’s mind. A sad puppy, who’s about to be left alone for the first time. Or a puppy being denied treats. 

The joke's really not as funny this time.

“What’s up, Bokuto?”

“Ah!” As if suddenly remembering that Komi is standing next to him, Bokuto turns and digs around his bag for something, until he finally pulls out a magazine. “I saw this at the convenience store this morning. Check it out!”

He flips through the pages until he finds what he’s looking for and then shoves the magazine into Komi’s hands. It’s an article about a TV show; they’ve just announced the second season, it says, and they still have a few roles that need to be filled.

Komi looks up at Bokuto.

“It’s open casting!” Bokuto declares proudly. “Anyone can go. You don’t need to be a professional actor or anything - it says that in the ad.”

“And you thought of me?” 

“Well, yeah!” Bokuto nods. “You told me once you wanted to be an actor, and I thought this could be a really cool opportunity?”

“And you didn’t want to tell Akaashi about it? I thought you told him everything. Twice, probably.” 

“I really wanted to!” Bokuto shakes his head. “I do, and it’s like, super hard to keep stuff from him, but this isn’t my thing, it’s yours. And you told me you wanted to be an actor in private, and I thought maybe you don’t want people to know, and. Yeah. So I didn’t tell him.”

If anyone were to accuse Komi of being slightly awed in that moment, well, he probably wouldn’t be able to deny it.

“Hey, big guy,” he says. “Thank you.”

“It’s this Saturday.” Bokuto points at the date printed on the page. “I’ll go with you if you don’t wanna go alone!”

“Yeah. You know what, that would be really nice.” Komi nods. “And you can tell Akaashi, if you want. I don’t mind.”

“Really?” Bokuto’s grin reaches from ear to ear. “You’re the best, Komi!”

“Yeah.” Komi laughs. “Of course, I am.”

He really kind of adores Bokuto. 

***

The waiting area they’re directed to is crowded; teenagers sit on the floor or walk up and down along the wall rehearsing their lines. 

Komi’s nerves are already starting to buzz in his chest, and he glances over at Bokuto, who is excitedly chattering about which roles he thinks Komi would be best for, which, honestly, kind of works to distract him from the fear of completely messing this up.

He’s always been that way, Bokuto. Cheering for people. 

Komi remembers that day in their first year, when he had been struggling to keep up, and he’d hung back after practice, exhausted and trying to shake off the frustration gnawing at him. How Bokuto had grinned at him, clapped his back, and told him he’d been playing great; his voice full of enthusiasm that Komi certainly hadn’t felt himself.

"Everyone’s got off days, right? But I saw you hustle out there. You really had our backs.”

Bokuto hadn’t just tried to be friendly. He’d noticed Komi’s struggling, understood, and chose to lift him up. In that moment, Komi had realised that Bokuto wasn’t just some overly energetic teammate - despite his loudness and his mood-swings, Bokuto was a good friend, too. 

And it occurs to him again, seeing him here - unfailingly supportive, even for something Bokuto probably doesn’t care about - that they’re all very lucky.

They call his name, and Komi gets up. Bokuto throws him an enthusiastic thumbs-up. “You’ll be great, Komi!” And, with an encouraging grin, he adds, “Just think of it as a volleyball match!”

***

Unfortunately, Komi isn’t great. 

In fact, he wishes it had been a volleyball match, because at least, he knows he’s good at volleyball.

Slouching into the bus seat beside Bokuto, he stares blankly at his feet, his hands jammed into his pockets. 

"So, uh…" Bokuto begins, a bit hesitantly. “How was it?”

Komi lets out a frustrated sigh. "It was horrible. I think they knew I wasn’t what they wanted as soon as I walked in." He runs a hand over his face. “I mean, I froze. I forgot my lines. It was a mess.”

Bokuto winces, but then he perks up, clapping a hand on Komi’s shoulder. 

“Hey, Komi, first times are always tough! It’s like your first volleyball game! if you’d stopped after one bad match, we never would’ve become the team we are today, right?”

Komi huffs, but a small smile sneaks through. 

“Not the same thing, Bo. It’s not like volleyball. It’s like - you’re supposed to deliver right away, no warm-up, no second tries.”

Bokuto leans back, thinking for a second, then he grins. “Still, you went out there! That’s already huge. I mean, most people wouldn’t even try! And besides, we’re just getting started. They’ll probably call you back next time!”

Komi lets out a weak laugh, shaking his head. “You don’t know that.”

“But I do!” Bokuto insists stubbornly, “You’ve got what it takes because you care. And I bet next time, they’ll see that, too. We’re not giving up.”

Komi glances over at Bokuto, who’s still beaming encouragement at him, eyes warm and honest.

("We’re not giving up.”

We.)

“Thanks, Bokuto,” he says, a bit of the disappointment lifting. 

***

They stop for ice cream on the way home, and Bokuto talks about his after practice session with Akaashi. His perfect sets (“I’m telling you, his tosses are the best!”), and his hair (“Did you ever notice how soft it looks, Komi? Do you think it feels as soft as it looks?”)

“Mh.” Komi says. Somehow, his thoughts drift to Saru, of doodled swirls in the corner of a page that look suspiciously like volleyballs. Of his Saru's fluffy hair, and his ever-patient smile.

He’s not sure what does it exactly - the ice cream, or the talking, or thoughts about his favourite wing spiker (sorry, Bo!) - but somehow, it still helps. By the time he heads home, he feels a lot better.

***

The Monday morning sunlight spills through the windows of the third-year hallway, warm and soft, but Komi feels a little heavy. 

He thought he’d processed it, the mess that was his first audition, but knowing that the others are surely going to ask about it today makes something uncomfortable settle in his gut. 

His mind keeps replaying the moment he forgot his lines, his nervousness tangling up his thoughts. The director’s polite but disappointed look… Komi isn’t really looking forward to talking about any of that. Not to any of them, but especially not to-

“Komi-yan!” Saru is already seated at his desk as he walks into his classroom, casually flipping through his notes. “Good morning.”

When their eyes meet, Saru greets him with that usual easygoing smile, but today there’s a curious gleam in his eyes. 

“Ah, Saru. Uh. Morning.”

Saru, sensing Komi’s pause, offers a soft, reassuring smile. "So, how’d it go?" His voice is warm, casual, but there’s a note of genuine care in it, a kind of open curiosity that makes Komi’s heart flutter a little.

For a moment, his mind races. He doesn’t want to disappoint Saru - doesn’t want him to think he’s incompetent or lacking. At least with volleyball, he knows he’s got their backs. He knows they know they can rely on him. 

He knows Saru knows that. It’s stupid, but he doesn’t want him to think less of him for not doing well. He wants to be someone Saru can admire, someone who doesn’t fail. 

So Komi smiles, though it feels a little strained around the edges. He drops down in his seat, trying to find the right words. "Ah, well. I don’t think I was what they were looking for," he says, leaning back a little as he shrugs nonchalantly. "You know how it is. Sometimes, it’s just not the right fit."

He doesn’t mention forgetting his lines. He doesn’t mention the awkward silence that followed. It’s not a complete lie - they certainly weren’t looking for a nervous wreck. Still, he can’t look Saru in the eye as he says it, his words stilted and awkward, because they sting.

(“I think calling it ‘lying’ is a bit too much, Komi-yan. He just likes to embellish.”)

Saru nods thoughtfully as he draws small, absent circles on his notebook. “Ah, I see,” he says, and there’s something in his eyes when he smiles - like he knows that it’s not the whole truth, but he isn’t going to push. "It’s okay, Komi-yan. First auditions are tough. You’ll do better next time. I’m sure of it."

His smile is kind, and the words are so patient that it makes Komi feel like a bit of an ass.

(“You know - I sometimes think Akaashi knows, too.”)

And then it hits him - like a lightbulb clicking on in his brain. 

He understands, finally, why Bokuto does what he does - why he embellishes his stories to Akaashi, why he spins them in a way that makes him seem braver, more accomplished, more successful than he might have been in the moment. 

He’s not trying to deceive or fool anyone - not really. Bokuto isn’t that kind of person.

It’s because no one wants the person they like to see them fail. For them, you want to be better, to be someone worth looking up to. To be someone they can admire.

Bokuto wants to be someone Akaashi can be proud of, which is funny, because Akaashi, more than anyone, is painfully aware of every single one of Bokuto’s flaws. In fact, Komi is pretty sure the guy keeps a list somewhere. 

But Akaashi, despite - or maybe because of - those flaws is also the proudest out of all of them of Bokuto.

Komi gets it now. He kind of did the same thing - he wants to be that for Saru, even if it means hiding the fact that he didn’t do well at the audition. Even if it means pretending, just for a little while, that everything went perfectly.

But maybe it’s okay if they didn’t. Maybe it’s okay if Saru sees the parts of him that aren’t perfect, because Saru’s not expecting him to be flawless. Saru just wants to see him try, just wants to see him keep going.

Komi smiles, feeling a little lighter now, as he looks back up at Saru. "Yeah, next time, I’ll do better,” he says. “Thanks, Saru.” 

Saru gives him a small, knowing smile. He reaches across the desk, lays his hand on top of Komi’s, and squeezes gently.

And sure, the pain of his failure still lingers - but it doesn’t feel as heavy now. The weight and warmth of Saru's hand on his feels like an anchor, and Komi realises that maybe, just maybe, trying can sometimes be enough.

[ussjellyfish]

For the fandom/ship/character ask game, please tell me...

17 ...the world-building aspect of the story you have the greatest admiration for IN DISCOVERY!

ooo thank you!

17 …the world-building aspect of the story you have the greatest admiration for IN DISCOVERY!

I love the jump to the future. I adore the future. I love that they got away from needing to tie in legacy characters, because that takes time away from the characters from the show. (looking at you, Picard season 3 and SNW adding more men...).

I love personal transporters and how the politics of the future has changed, and the hope and fear and the fight against being isolated. I love that they ask questions that we're asking ourselves and come down on the side of hope and connection. I love how much planetary leaders are women.

I love how the characters find their places (Michael as captain, Saru as a diplomat, Tilly as a teacher) and the supporting cast is really fun (Vance, Rillak and Kovich are all really interesting).

Going to the future let them tell new stories and I loved those parts of it. The what ifs of what happened are really interesting.

thank you!!

fandom asks

[isagrimorie]

i forgot that tilly was asked to be the first officer of discovery in the third season. and, I think how mind-blowing that is. i like discovery a lot but sometimes the writers make truly mind-boggling choices.

i forgot that tilly was just a cadet in s1 and then an ensign.

making her an (acting) first officer, while still an ensign, was a bizarre choice. (harry kim is crying somewhere)

especially since nilsson and rhys take control of the bridge when the command team is out.

unfortunately, the way discovery is configured we don't really know most of the bridge crew.

or, maybe it would have been better if a new character was introduced as their 32nd-century guide and as a temporary XO.

but also, who is the senior staff of discovery? do we know?

i assumed that culber was CMO all this time only to find out from interviews he wasn't the CMO.

stamets can't be the chief engineer since he's science division and he mans the spore drive function and not the whole ship. i assume its jett reno.

who was the head of security when nhan left? is it rhys??? why is booker (who I really like) memory alpha listed the head of security of discovery (season 4)??? he's not starfleet.

i just realized the whole problem why they got tilly as acting first officer is because I don't think any of the writers in seasons 2 to 3 of discovery sat down and solidified the hierarchy on the ship other than captain.

it's so nebulous and it doesn't need to be nebulous.

it's like how inconsistent the ranks are on SNW uniforms.

i know these are nitpicks but these are details that help build out the world. and it's such an easy thing to address too, it's frustrating they don't.

and this is on the discovery writers for not taking the time to iron it out. i understand they want to focus on different people and keep the heroics away from the bridge, other than saru and michael. but that doesn't excuse how lazily they went about it.

anyway this is just a bug bear that I stumbled on when I remembered how tilly was made into acting first officer of discovery. it didn't niggle at me back then but somehow rewatching voyager and a lot of other trek made me realize, I can actually pinpoint the line of command on each show but stumble on it when it comes to discovery seasons 3 and 4.

again, i think this is why season 5 is doing a great job. wilson cruz said that by season 5 he might as well be the CMO, so I'm taking that as canon.

this is what happens when every season and episode is just one story of crisis situations without any standalone downtime episodes.

(this is also a problem for picard s3. it's the single story and 10 episode thing. it ties the hands of writers.)

what i wouldn't give for a discovery episode where the ship is just doing routine maintenance. follow an engineering team down a jeffries tube, watch them have a boring senior staff meeting where all department heads report to michael.

(wait, have we seen discovery do a senior staff meeting scene?)

have rayner sit down and manage personnel.

honestly, i think the trek that does the best in doing personnel, handling extras, and making a realized world is still ds9.

[jazzypizzaz]

I've been watching Enterprise recently, and I'm struck by the thought of each of the characters would react to being thrust into a later Trek show:

Hoshi on Deep Space Nine, first discovering how far the Universal Translator technology has come... then turning UT off and chilling at Quark's bar, letting all the incredible diversity of alien languages wash over her, all the people passing through from three quadrants (Dominion languages!!)

Phlox on Discovery, amazed at how diverse Starfleet is not all that long after he was alive, all these people coming together in Starfleet for exploration and discovery. I always get the impression that regardless of his curiosity and openness, he's a bit lonely on Enterprise, a bit of distance between him and the rest of the crew. Also I feel like he'd get along really well with Saru, plus -- non-human captain! he'd dig all the mushrooms / tardigrade business too I think lol.

T'Pol interacting with Spock!!! as a Vulcan on a human ship of course, a bridge between their people, the role he has had in that. and Amanda/Sarek married, having a kid?? also ongoing attempts at reunification with Romulans???

Mayweather on Voyager of course, nerding out with Tom Paris on the Delta Flyer. also everyone being so far from home, so much less connected to family in a way that original Enterprise was more than other Alpha/Beta quadrant crews I think. sacrificing that connection for their overarching mission together.

Archer, any Trek, seeing what Starfleet has become!!! Andorians and Vulcans and so many species all exploring the universe together in (relative) peace and cooperation! going boldly together! the way humans have brokered this peace throughout the centuries!!!

[vaspider]

Last night, I turned off ep 4 of Discovery out of disgust and went to watch Fallout.

I put up with a lot, but you don't drydock a fucking starship in atmosphere and Utopia Planitia is on Mars, for fuck's sake. It's not sitting in the fucking hills of San Francisco where you can see the Golden Gate Bridge out the window.

[Below there be spoilers.]

For 4 seasons, I have defended the FUCK out of this show. For 4 seasons, I have genuinely loved most of Discovery, and I've loved it enough to make me keep watching it even when we only found out that one character basically had a full-body prosthetic in the episode where they killed her off, and when the Red Angel turned out to be the hokiest answer ever, and when Disco fell prey to the storywriting trope I tend to call Skywalker Syndrome (you know, the one where there are only like 6 people who matter in an entire galaxy and anybody who matters has to be related to them somehow).

But I can't fucking put up with what they're doing to Discovery.

It started with the decision the writers made - for the sake of POINTLESS DRAMA - to have an Admiral look at two captains about to go on an Extremely Crucial Mission, which they told us over and over again was Extremely Crucial, using a term nobody had ever heard before like we were supposed to know or care what that meant, "why don't you two try to get along" when they asked who was in command of the mission.

Okay, look, first of all, absolutely not, and you're a shitty admiral if that's what your response is. SOMEONE is in command of this mission. And second of all, if you're the admiral and that's what you said, then who is the one in trouble when things go to shit bc there is no clear chain of command? YEAH. IT'S YOU. Holding one of your captains responsible for making a decision that you wouldn't have made, and for "not listening to the better decision," and taking his ship away? That's bullshit. You put two captains at odds and then you hold them responsible and not yourself?

Dude, you fucking suck, and this shit ain't Starfleet. It ain't even acceptable under the "oh no we're post-Burn and getting our shit together." This is basic stuff. There's a chain of command for a reason.

Then you have Saru suggesting that Burnham make her Extremely Recently Ex-boyfriend, a convicted criminal who stole crucial technology from the Federation and tried to break the universe, her Number One bc Saru is resigning his commission to become an ambassador. Her never-been-Starfleet ex-boyfriend. Yeah, sure, I'm sure that's the Very Best Idea that a Federation and Starfleet idealist like Saru would suggest. Let's put this guy who has never worn a uniform and has been very loudly Not A Team Player and has no idea how Starfleet works and hasn't done his Time In Grade one heartbeat away from being in command of the Discovery. I'm sure that will be GREAT for crew cohesion, having this dude who has not put in the time just leapfrog his way past everyone who has been busting their ass for years and who literally left their entire lives behind, centuries in the past, to land in the XO spot because "he works well with you" and "he knows [this season's antagonists] and how they work."

Thankfully that didn't fucking happen, but having Saru even suggest it felt like a profound betrayal of Saru *as a character.* File that under He Would Not Fucking Say That.

I can't even enjoy Leoben's actor, and i can't even enjoy him being from an alien species that somebody dug up from one episode of DS9, because he is not just an asshole but he's an asshole who has no respect for anybody or anything. Star Trek's assholes are always the ones that you can at least understand why they are the way they are, and you can excuse it because they are Federation Idealists or they have such great skills or respect for an ideal that you might not understand but you understand that it's important to them.

No. This guy is just there to be a dick and make Burnham look cool and reasonable and nice by comparison, and he's 90% of the time incompetent as fuck. Like, one time his ideas are good, but when his ideas are good, it's only because he's been disrespecting chain of command so hard for so long that he has info he shouldn't have. They made him suck so much that I can't find ANYTHING about him to like, AND I LIKED LEOBEN.

"But at least we've got our gay relationship-- " Nope! They broke up one of the queer relationships pretty much right away, and the other one gets zero screen time and might as well not exist. They don't even really interact at the one party we've had. It's almost painfully obvious that they're avoiding having the two of them together.

"Maybe I can tough it out to see Tig, I love Commander Reno-- " Nope. We've gotten one scene in which she predicted the breakup of the baby gays.

It really feels like they took away all the writers who know and love Trek and understand what makes it good, and filled the writers room with people who are just standing around and peeing on the show Bible while saying "THIS WILL MAKE GOOD DRAMA."

I'm sad. I hate this season, and after suffering my way through s3 of Picard out of hopes they'd answer the goddamned question finally, I'm not putting myself through this again.

I used to love this show.

[ltwharfy]

How about your favorite Star Trek ship for the ask game?

Thanks for this ask, Babs! I genuinely appreciate it so much! Although "Bob's Burgers" may be the reason I came to Tumblr, I do like talking about my other interests on here, too, and it's fun to be asked about one of them. (Also, I feel like ship/characters asks in BB fandom can be a bit "Hey! Let me ask you about the thing you already talk about all the time!" sometimes. XD)

So, now for something completely different, I am going to talk about Saru/T'Rina from "Star Trek: Discovery". This is them:

Ship It

What made you ship it?

Saru was always my favorite character on Discovery, and when they first interacted in "Unification III", I thought they had an interesting, unique chemsitry and kept rooting to see more of them. And to my surprise, I did! (Since I love behind the scenes stuff, it was fun to find this interview with Saru actor Doug Jones where he talks about reading shippiness into the script for that episode, then finding out that it hadn't occurred to the writers, who then proceeded to run with it once he pointed it out to them.)

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

I love that they are not a pair of young, cool, conventionally attractive humans. Because of their species and their personalities, they both tend to be a little emotionally reserved and cautious. Although they are both middle-aged (or maybe older), you get the sense romance hasn't been a big part of either of their lives previously. It's not easy for them to open up and be vulnerable to each other, but they do and it works out and they make this amazing connection. So, even though they are a pair of aliens in the 32nd Century, I basically see them as a sweet couple of awkward middle-aged people finding each other, which is one of my favorite relationship dynamics (and, yeah, has an element of personal relationship goals to it.)

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Honestly, "Discovery" is the Trek show I've probably engaged the least with the fandom for, so I genuinely don't know how popular they are or how other people see them. Since fandom tends to be a horny place, it might be unpopular for me to say I have no interest in thinking about their sex life! I love them, but have no desire for NSFW fics or art about them. Maybe they have amazing incomprehisbly awesome alien sex. Maybe their relationship is loving but sexless. I could see either way being plausible, but that aspect isn't what makes them compelling to me.

[morns-fevered-dream]

Well I've tried to avoid spoilers but their are a few things I know going in the appearance of a character from ENT I'd originally guessed Trip Tucker because he died in a weird way and in non-cannon he did things after his "death" but a sci fi news article discussing Daniels gives me a feeling it's him makes more sense though and I saw two images one of a old Burnham and one of Burnham and Moll standing in front of some light on a cliff or something due to a current boycott of Paramount and Paramount+ I'm watching this from a pirate cove and I'd encourage you to do the same and without further ado live blogging of Star Trek Discovery and as always 🌟SPOILERS🌟

Season 5 Episode 10

I'm still sad this is the last episode of DIS

Well I'm glad it's longer then a regular episode but part of me was hoping for a 2 hour finale but considering it wasn't known until after shooting that it was the last episode and then reshoots that I'm sure are the extra length of this episode

I wonder if we'll see the Breen that went in before Moll and Burnham?

Huh Burnham had the same thought

Nooo Burnham

Oh there's one of three Breen cracked like an egg

And their is the other Breen not a happy one either maybe if the Breen had sent scientists instead of Soldiers they'd be more willing to work together Burnham

Damn that was a football tackle

About to be pulled away by a hurricane and still trying to punch damn Burnham is right "STOP IT"

Lots of slow mo

Damn the Breen is back

Why is Moll flying with a gun?

Why did Moll shoot the Breen? I mean the Breen is under her command

No wonder the Breen was so mad their own boss killed the other Breen like a cracked egg I'd be pissed too

Damn Moll is not likable even for a villain

Yeah that's what I thought

Now thinking about it I definitely thought that Detmer and Owosekun would be back by now tbh

Yeah Nhan stepping up suck it admiral

"At least the Breen have a vested interest" didn't you just kill your own Breen soldiers?!

Return of the spinning camera and a surprise appearance of shaky camera

Since it's the last episode I want to say I think DIS has my favorite Engineer crew out of all the Trek shows between Stamets, Adira, Reno and the occasional Booker, Tilly or Culber it has my favorite dynamic

There's one of the images that was spoiled them standing in front of whatever that ripple thing is

Oh they aren't fighting Tahal yet? Then what Breen Is Discovery fighting oh is it the Ruhn Breen Dreadnought or whoever runs it now Moll or that Asrisar Breen

"Ambassador Saru are you insane?" Is hilarious

Just like her Breen colleagues don't turn your back on Moll

Moll isn't very smart Burnham told you the clue and you didn't even use it

What was that scream Moll that was some serious yelling in lower case

Yes trust the good doctor odd visions or whatever

Damn Seru that was cold as ice

I swear Burnham is like the perfect Federation Captain because I would have been pissed

I kind of like that the most powerful tech in the universe is represented with some simple glass triangles

Ancient humanoid appearance!

Something before the progenitors? Mmmh interesting I know Q and the Guardian Of Forever were before the ancient humanoids I'm pretty sure but not much else is known

I love that it's Booker that's with Hugh others would try to explain or theorize but Booker is just like "damn that's crazy" the same nonchalant attitude when Hugn decided to join in the shuttle in the first place

Wow that's a lot of camera spinning

Separate the what?

Damn the ancient humanoids really trying to put this technology off on someone else

A TNG Enterprise D style saucer separation WOOOOOOOOOOO BABY

Is that the Breem Scout ship it looks nice

Ain't no way they just spun that colossal giant Dreadnought like a bayblade that was totally cool

Damn the Progenitor really gave Burnham a crash course on almost all of existence huh?

Honestly I've been thinking all season that kind of technology needs to go permanently

I'm sad Stamets won't get his legacy dream the spore drive program was canceled and made secret, spore drive didn't replace the regular warp drive in the 32nd century and now unable to study the progenitors tech what I'm really sad about is that this arc for Stamets won't be resolved because this is the finale

Picard Wine, Geordi old visor and a baseball presumably something to do with Sisko interesting

Kovich was Daniels all along?! This isn't what I thought the returning ENT thing was gonna be I'll be honest I was actually surprised

Yes! The Saru x T'Rina wedding what everyone was hoping for

Talaxian pirates? Mmmmh

All of the dress uniforms and fancy wedding clothes look great

Old Burnham and old Booker look like themselves but with gray hair I look forward to seeing irl old compared to TV old like they did for TOS, TNG and DS9 episodes where it showed a older version of a character and then people put up a image of them later irl when the actor was actually older

Burnham 33nd century civilian clothes look like she ready for the wild west I guess some fashion just comes around huh

Admiral you say

Oh that's a alien deer cool

Ooooo another uniform

They got kid in Starfleet already wow future jumps do that though

I like these even further in the future 33nd century uniforms that admiral one is nice I like the line going down the pants but I also liked that on the PIC S3 uniform too so I guess I'm just a sucker for that uniform design choice

I also like the new 33nd century Starfleet logo

For future versions of the Starfleet logo post ST Nemesis I think this new one and the Future Imperfect TNG one from the fake future are probably my favorites

Damn how many refits has that ship undergone to be still be in service

For a minute I thought she was about to pass down Discovery to her son

So a short explanation of Calypso but I still don't understand why Zora had to wait for Craft or the importance of Craft tbh and poor Zora has to wait 1000 years alone is so strange I also assume it was a life or death thing with the crew abandoned ship rather then this whole red directive thing its just kind of odd

Ah Detmer and Owosekun finally returned for the last few minutes of the finale

Ah a impressive fleet shot I do love the Merian Class, Kirk Class, Courage Class of my personal favorite out of the 32-33nd century ships the Eisenberg Class

So that's it the end of Discovery it had its hurdles but it also started Nu-Trek I personally am indeed a fan of the show this and Lower Decks are definitely my favorite of the Nu-Trek shows I am sad to see it go

It started my tradition of watching Nu-Trek and drinking canned Guayaki Yerba Mate late at night and it started many fond memories I've never said this online before but I never watched the last episode of ENT until the pilot of DIS came out I waited years to watch it but I couldn't bring myself to "finish" Star Trek until a new show was announced so I waited years to watch that last episode of ENT and after years of waiting and it was terrible but luckily this finale was better then that

[leohtttbriar]

(saw a post going around exclaiming about the brilliance of some star trek lines i didn't particularly care for (including that dumb odo-democracy line) so to make myself feel better i came up with my own list of favorites that i can now pull from with ease and pretend i'm quoting from something a little more sophisticated than prime-time tv.)

some of my favorite star trek lines/dialogue:

"So much we still do not know. But I am certain of one thing: we are both looking up." Saru

"What if it's smart fungus?" Jadzia Dax

"I saw the sunlight. I can't believe that our caretaker would forbid us to open our eyes and see the sky." Kes

"I can't say for sure, but they desperately want to know others and to be known. They...are the planet." Saru

"It seems we're in a situation now where the rules have changed. And maybe, if we're going to survive out here, we have to start changing, too." Chakotay

"It can only be what it is, not what you want it to be." Michael

Spock: I noticed that about your people, Doctor. You find it easier to understand the death of one than the death of a million. You speak about the objective hardness of the Vulcan heart, yet how little room there seems to be in yours. McCoy: 'Suffer the death of they neighbor,' eh, Spock? You wouldn't wish that on us, would you?

"It's almost like being on the deck of an old sailing ship. Only the stars are not just up in the sky--they're all around us." Sisko

"Your job is to find the truth--not obtain convictions." Odo

"I have nowhere to go back to. The only thing I can do right now...is trust something." Michael

"In Kenya, we have 22 native languages. I found out early that, if I wanted to be understood, it's best to communicate in someone's own tongue. So I learned them." Uhura

"I canceled my death for you. I was really looking forward to it." Terminally ill character to Julian

Julian: I was so arrogant. I thought I could find [a cure] in a week. Dax: Maybe it was arrogant to think that. But it's even more arrogant to think there isn't a cure.

"I object to you. I object to intellect without discipline. I object to power without constructive purpose." Spock

"You treat death like a lover. I think living is lot more attractive." Jadzia

Odo: Every 16 hours, I turn into a liquid. Lwaxana: I can swim.

"As for you, there is one favor I would ask. Live, Jadzia Dax. Live a long, fresh, and wonderful life." Enina

"Let me help. A hundred years or so from now, I believe, a famous novelist will write a classic using that theme. He'll recommend those three words over 'I love you.'" Kirk

"That baby I'm holding in my hands now is the universe itself, and I need to study its face." Sisko

Pike: But we can't see them or detect them in any way. Uhura: I can hear them.

"Vulcans are capable of suppressing certain levels of physical pain. Beyond that, we must simply endure the experience." Tuvok

Julian: I'm sure we'll see each other again. Garak: I'd like to think so. But one can never say. We live in uncertain times.

"Maybe that's the good in seeing my future--that I might remind you that, right up until the very end, life is to be worn gloriously." Pike

[antimatterpod]

Anika and Liz put buckets on their head and infiltrate a Breen ship, pausing along the way to have a serious personal conversation. We’re discussing the penultimate episode of Star Trek: Discovery (WE ARE NOT READY), “Lagrange Point”! Including…

What sort of ending do we want for Moll? 

We already have a crush on Primarch Tahal

Michael and Book parallel Michael and Ash in “Into the Forest I Go” – is infiltrating an enemy ship a date? 

We are briefly interrupted by an appearance from Anika’s cat’s butt

Paul and Hugh have been sidestepping drama all season and it’s great? 

Saru: relationship role model

We’re not NOT shipping Rayner/Tilly

[raffaelamusiker]

Raffi Musiker and Michael Burnham for the character ask

Thank you for the ask! From this ask game

Raffi!!

How I feel about this character

Oh gosh, I love her with everything I have. I love all of her good and her bad. I love that she is perfectly imperfect. She's one of the most realistic human characters I've ever seen. She is my baby and she deserves the whole universe and I love her SO MUCH. I relate to her a lot.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Well Seven, of course. I do also like thinking about pre-canon and her marraige and relationship with Jae. Honestly I'm quite open with shipping Raffi with people: B'Elanna, Emmy, Jadzia, a load of OCs ect. She just deserves to be loved by everyone. If Raffi wants to give everyone little kisses then she should be allowed!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Raffi and Rios are the top brOTP. Platonic soulmates to the max.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I don't know if this is unpopular but I have seen a few comments about it: Raffi is not ooc in s3. Ignoring the abysmal 'offical' (thats putting it lightly) timeline between s2 & 3 that doesn't make sense, Raffi had been through a lot of trauma that was never addressed again in s2 (surprise surprise). Elnor died in her arms, she watched Seven get deathly injured and nearly die, she herself nearly died and her best friend stayed in the past. All of that and with what she was going through in the first half of s3 would change her, harden her, make her slip over the edge.

I do agree that the show never really knew exactly what to do with her and so we have 3 different angles of her, but its not ooc. Raffi has just been through so much trauma, especially between s1-3 and hasn't had the time to deal with it.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

For her and Seven to officially stay together lmao. No, I loved how she found a friend and supporter in Worf, I love how she's by Seven's side on the Titan Enterprise, I just wish they'd done the family stuff a bit better you know? She deserved so much more than Jae suddenly believing everything she said just because Worf had leaked her medals and such, and not having listened to her himself. (Gabe is different). It just kinda sucked and she deserves better and to be believed and listened to.

Michaeeeel!!!

How I feel about this character

I love Michael a lot. I think she's one of the best captains, an amazing friend and someone who just wants to do the right thing. She knows her flaws and works on them. She's not afraid to emote, to feel, to love. The way she loves her friends so unapologetically <3 She's truly the best.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Michael and Book are cute, but there was this polyamory Disco post going around a while back which I loved too. Michael, just like Raffi is allowed to just kiss whoever she wants.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Michael and Saru's friendship always brings me to tears tbh. Also Michael and Tilly's friendship. I love them being best friends so much. The way they always just hug!! and Michael and Saru doing the head touch kills me every time.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I don't know, probably that she's one of the best captains?? I know it's usually just the trek bros who say shes a mary-sue or whatever, but I think she has one of the best character arcs and character growth on any ST show. I also loved that she got such a good, peaceful ending. It's what she deserves!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

That she got more time as captain. That Disco didn't have to end. I think she had so much more to give us and I miss her!!

[whovianwatchingstartrek]

A Whovian Watches Star Trek for the First Time: Part 106 - Deep Cover within a Deep Cover

Star Trek: Discovery - Season 1 Episode 11 - The Wolf Inside

We open this episode with a monologue from Michael about her time so far in the Empire universe, and how the constant need to watch her back is effecting her. Additionally, we find out that this universe's Saru is a slave, which is sad to see, but for this universe's standards should have been expected. Also the use of a transporter as a method of execution is absolutely brutal to see.

Michael has managed to obtain the information on the Defiant, however cracking the firewall from the Shenzhou is difficult, and sending it to Discovery would be noticed.

Unfortunately back on Discovery, our crew has discovered the death of Colbert, and their immediate assumption is that in his current state, Paul did it. Sylvia has an idea to cure Paul's condition however, and takes him down to the engineering lab. Her theory is that the Spore Network is simply using all of Paul's physical resources to keep the portal between the universes open, and that a fresh dose of spores might wake him up, and she puts this hypothesis to the test.

On the Shenzhou, Michael has been given the location of the leader of the Klingon rebellion, someone called "The Firewolf" and is ordered to kill him.

In a private conversation with Lorca, Michael reveals that she is really hopeful that this rebellion could lead to a Federation like entity if it wins. It's even made up of the same mix of species as the Federation founders, just substituting Klingons for Humans. She is reluctant to go through with her orders. Her plan is to beam into the Firewolf's camp with Ash to negotiate. The pair are captured immediately after appearing, and are taken to the firewolf.

Apparently Sarek is among the firewolf's camp, and they refer to him as "The Prophet". Sarek performs a mindmeld with Michael, and sees the memories from the Federation Universe, and he clears any doubt about Michael's intentions. Michael, looking for advice on how to help with the war in the Federation universe starts asking the Firewolf questions, however a lot of the Firewolf's answers start to trigger Ash's sleeper programming, and a sword fight ensues. Sarek manages to break it up however, and continues to vouch for Michael.

Meanwhile on Discovery, Sylvia's experiment is having a positive effect on Paul, and moving the stress on his brain to some of his other organs, however it then goes wrong, and medical staff have to step in to stabilise him, but he goes braindead, albiet only temporarily. Once Tilly is alone with him, we get to see Paul's perspective inside the spore network, and we're teased with him encountering his empire universe counterpart.

Back on Shenzhou, Ash finally confesses as much as he can about his current state to Michael, and he starts to remember his true past. Apparently, he is a Klingong that was molded into a human and given false memories to infiltrate discovery. More specifically, he is the Federation Universe's counterpart to the Firewolf. He attacks Michael to avenge T'Kuvma, but the Shenzhou crew apprehend him, and Michael orders to have him Transporter Executed. As he sufficates in Space though, Discovery transport him aboard, and turns out this was partially a ruse to get the Data on the Defiant to Discovery. We're then hit with a final blow of another ship appearing to destroy the Rebels themselves, and we're hit with another surprise that apparently the Emperor is Georgiou, something which I really wasn't expecting.

I'm liking this whole corruption arc for Michael, and I thought the Ash twist was fun. It was nice seeing more of this universe, but I wish we could have spent a bit more time fleshing out the Rebels. Good episode, but I think the previous one was a bit better. Still excited to see where this goes now that the Emperor is directly involved though.