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dira333 · 4 months ago

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If we have each other - Kazekage Family

Summary: Shinki finds a Mother Figure by accident, or how two people falling in love looks like from a 4-year-old's perspective

Shinki and Shikadai are about 4 years old in this...

Words: 4k

Shinki didn’t mean to get lost. Father will be upset.

All the trees look the same now, and he knows it’s because he’s panicking, but that realization doesn’t help ease his nerves. His breathing is coming faster now, iron sand swirling around him.

There’s movement in the bushes. He holds his breath, hoping, wishing for someone to come and find him.

But it’s a deer, looking at him with dumb empty eyes before returning to where it came from.

Shinki sits on the damp ground, fighting the tears that threaten to spill.

He practiced hard to get his kekkai genkai under control, to make his father proud. And now he’s ruining their celebration, his first visit to Konohagakure to meet extended family, by getting lost in the woods.

To his left, he can hear movement. He doesn’t look up this time, expecting the deer to be back again.

When instead a voice speaks up, his iron sand reacts without his incentive, shooting forward.

He turns just in time to see a woman deflect the hit, jumping out of reach. The sand drops, returning to him as he stands, scared and relieved at the same time.

“Who are you?” Shinki asks, voice shaking lightly even though he makes sure to carry a threatening tone.

“You’re Shinki, right?” You ask, eyes surprisingly warm for someone who just got attacked. “I’m Shikamaru’s cousin, Shikadai might have told you about me.”

Shinki thinks back to their conversations. His cousin isn’t that talkative. Shikadai mostly prefers to nap.

But you look like Shikamaru, he thinks, the resemblance calming him down. You’re family too.

“Are you- are they looking for me?”

“Probably,” you tell him with a smile, “I was out collecting antlers when Mosabi came to get me. That’s the deer that spotted you. You wanna get back to the house?”

“Yes, please.” He carefully dusts his clothes off before looking at you for further clues. To his surprise your hand is outstretched.

“Wanna take my hand? It’s okay if not.”

“No,” he grabs it, relishing in the contact. He’s never too sure when he’s allowed to touch others and the iron sand makes it impossible for others to touch him without his explicit permission. Perhaps that’s why Father isn’t as touchy-feely as his uncle is with Shikadai.

Your hand is warm around his and you don’t seem afraid of him at all. Do you not know his powers? How dangerous he is?

“So you’re visiting from Suna, right?” You ask just as he readies himself to address the topic. “What’s it like? I’ve never been there.”

“It’s a desert village.”

“I know,” you smile warmly. “But what’s it like? What do you like about it?”

“Like… about it?”

You point above you. “Konoha has a lot of forests. That’s my favorite part of the village, going to a place where you can’t see the sky anymore, where everything above and around you is all the shades of green you could possibly imagine. I have a lot of plants at home too.”

“Father does as well,” Shinki exclaims, the words spilling from his mouth without his intention. “He collects Cacti and he even gets them to bloom.”

“He does?” You ask, showing interest. It’s the first time someone’s asked him about Cacti in a while and though he tries to respect others for not caring enough about them, he can’t help but judge them a little. Cacti are great. And Father, able to get them to bloom, is even greater.

“Yes! Cacti are very delicate plants, you know, and they only bloom in perfect conditions. Every species has different wants and needs, so you have to know them well.”

“And your father does so?”

“Yes!” Shinki nods eagerly, “Father is very knowledgeable. He is teaching me as well and I’m a good student.”

“I believe you are,” you smile, moving as if to brush through his hair. The iron sand immediately rises to stop you and you freeze, hand in the air.

“I’m sorry,” Shinki apologizes immediately, “It’s my Kekkai Genkai, I don’t mean to attack you-”

“It’s fine,” your smile doesn’t falter. “I should remember to ask before I move to touch. It’s only polite after all. May I mess up your hair?”

“I suppose,” Shinki offers, not sure what the purpose of this kind of touch is.

But then you do it, and he can feel it. He shivers, warmth spreading through his cheeks.

“Can you do it again?” He asks before he realizes that the words slipped out. But you don’t look taken aback by his request, instead ruffling his hair softly for a while until you tuck a strand of it behind his ear, the gesture warm in a way he hasn’t experienced before. It feels like getting a bath or getting tucked into bed, like Uncle Kankuro making his favorite soup for dinner and pretending he likes it as well.

“Let’s get you home, huh?” You say, sounding just like Father when he takes him to bed.

“Can we visit your aunt?” Shinki asks the next time he’s in Konoha.

Shikadai blinks at him in confusion. “I don’t have an aunt.”

“Your father’s cousin,” Shinki explains and Shikadai blinks again.

“Sure, I guess. I’ll ask.”

“Ah,” Uncle Shikamaru makes a face. It looks like he’s about to yawn, but then he doesn’t. “She’s at work boys, I’m sorry.”

“Where does she work?” Shinki hadn’t gotten another chance to talk to you the last time he’d been here, but he remembers the warmth of your touch and the way you kept smiling at him.

“At the hospital. She’s a poison specialist and cultivates herbs and medicinal plants for them.”

“Oh,” Shinki considers it for a second. “Can we visit her when she’s back from work?”

“I’ll ask her to come around but don’t be disappointed if she doesn’t show up, okay? Her work hours are pretty long.”

Shinki’s familiar with not being disappointed. He thinks he’ll manage.

The day drags on after that. He manages to convince Shikadai to train with him for a while until he gets too tired. Father comes in around Lunch time to sit and eat with him, before disappearing to another meeting with Uncle Shikamaru, leaving Aunt Temari to look after them. He likes Aunt Temari. She never hesitates to give him something to work with, teaching him stuff Father might think him too young to learn.

“Aunty,” he asks, as Shikadai naps yet again and he’s working on his latest embroidery project, “what do you like about Suna?”

She laughs softly. “Where’s that question coming from?”

“I’m not sure, but-”

“Don’t worry,” she picks up Shikadai’s head and drops him in her lap, carding her hand through his hair in a gentle manner that makes his own scalp tingle, longing for the sensation. “I’ll tell you. But it’s a long list.”

Shinki looks up at that.

“There’s the sunset. The sunsets are not the same here. How the night sky is so clear at night, barely any clouds to cover the stars. How you can breathe freely because no trees are blocking your sight. Do you want me to go on?”

He considers it for a second.

“I really like how warm it is,” he answers a question he’d been asked months ago and not by Temari. “as if the sun’s settling in your bones.”

Temari smiles. “You got that right. What else?”

You show up right after Dinner, exhaustion pulling at your body. He can see it in the way you walk, slow steps, back a little hunched.

But you smile at his sight and your smile is just as warm as it was the last time he saw you.

“Hey there,” you wave at him, “how was your day?”

There are a lot of things he wants to tell you. From the question he still needs to answer to the questions he has for you - not to mention the present he’d been working on for weeks at home - but now everyone’s eyes are on him and he can hear his panic in the rustling of his iron sand moving around him.

“I am fine, thank you,” Shinki says stiffly, wishing for himself to be different. Father’s hand rests warmly on his shoulder, no doubt to calm him down. In the time it takes him to gather himself you’ve exchanged pleasantries with the other adults. Father has his arms crossed now, cheeks a little reddish. Did you say something that made him upset, Shinki wonders, looking from the Kazekage and back to you. But no one else seems upset, there’s even a grin playing around Uncle Kankuro’s lips.

“I forgot,” you say, sending him a look and a poorly veiled wink, “I have a present for Shinki at my place. Do you wanna came with me and get it?”

“Can I?” He asks immediately, thinking of the time he’ll get alone with you, able to say some things without being the center of attention. If he plays his cards right he can give you your present too, without anyone watching.

Father hesitates for a second, exchanging looks with Temari before nodding.

“It’s alright. But I want him back here in an hour, is that okay?”

“More than okay. We’re just going to get a plant or too, nothing too serious,” you promise before turning to him. “Do you need to get your bag first?”

You take his hand on the way over, soft warmth in the cool night, listening as he tells you all about Suna, all the things he likes and learned to notice.

“When you walk through some streets,” Shinki recalls fondly, “the sky disappears too. Everything around you is different shades of brown and red and yellow, depending on the minerals used. It’s like in the woods.”

“That sounds mesmerizing,” you point out, a faraway sound to your voice, “I’d love to see that someday.”

Desire tugs on his heart. He could show you around. He could have you and Father and Suna at the same time.

“You could come-” He starts, cutting off for a second. “Visit me, you know?”

Your eyes flicker over and you smile. “I could, couldn’t I? Maybe I will one day when my work allows.”

He squeezes your hand on accident, thinking about that. You squeeze his hand back.

“I made this for you,” he exclaims in the safety of your apartment, after he’s done three trips looking at every single plant there is. There are so many, despite the small space, making it feel more like being in the woods than indoors.

It is a tapestry, barely big enough to cover both your hands. He’s spent weeks agonizing on what to put on it until he decided on something you’d already talked about.

The bloom of Father’s Cacti had been plentiful that month, each blossom a different, vibrant color.

Now he’s carefully watching your face, not wanting to miss any hints. Do you like it?

“Oh Shinki,” you breathe out, “it’s marvelous.”

His face blooms with heat.

“Can I hug you?” You ask and he nods, lump in his throat. You pull him in, warm and safe and oh so different from all the other people who have hugged him before - not that there are many.

Father is tall and strong, and touching him often means touching another layer of protective sand. He’s careful in his approach, giving, but never taking. He smells like Cacti and the dessert and his hair always tickles Shinki’s neck when they hug.

Uncle Kankuro and Aunt Temari hug him quickly if they hug him at all. More often than not they move as if to mess up his hair before deciding against it, offering him their hands to a high five instead. They’re not the cuddliest people, he thinks, and that’s okay.

But hugging you feels like sinking, like being drawn in, like giving and taking. You’re warm and soft, yet sturdy enough to keep him upright, swallowing him whole yet leaving him be. Shinki doesn’t want to let go.

“You know,” you tell him on the way back, his arms heavy with the two plants he got to pick out, “if you want, we can write to each other. Shikadai mentioned that you wrote him too.”

“Yes, I do,” Shinki nods, “Shikadai knows a lot of words. I like writing him.”

“You know, most children your age don’t know yet how to write,” you muse. “How do you feel about that?”

The question comes out of left field. How does he feel about it?

“What are they doing instead?” He asks, wondering. Are they napping with their parents, like Shikadai? Do they get to play with their friends, like he’s allowed to do when he’s visiting Konoha?

“I’m not sure,” he answers eventually.

“That’s okay. You might figure it out later.”

“How do you feel about it?” He asks, looking up at you. A shadow travels over your face.

“I am very proud to know such an intelligent child,” you tell him, lips pulling into a smile. “And polite, too.”

His lips pull up as well, unable not to smile back at you.

“Are you going to work the whole week?” Shinki asks, shifting the pots in his arms. He’d wanted to carry them himself, but he’s now regretting it. If you’d taken one, he could have held your hand on the way back too.

“Sadly, I do.” Your smile turns into a frown. “I’d love to spend some more time with you. But if it’s not too late for you, I can show up after work, like I did today. If you want, you can show me how you made this embroidery and I’ll teach you how to take care of your new plants.”

“I’d love that,” he admits.

You stay true to your promise, showing up each evening after work.

At first, the grown-ups seem a little confused by your presence, though Shinki wastes no time dragging you into the room he’s sharing with Father and Uncle Kankuro.

“I prepared everything for today’s lesson,” he explains, showing you the fabric, needles, and the different colored strings. “Today I’m teaching you about the different stitches.”

“Do you want something to eat?” Uncle Shikamaru asks from the doorway. “When did you get Dinner?”

“Oh, I’m not that hungry,” you wave him off, smiling when Shikadai settles in your lap without question, eyes closing instantly.

Shinki’s a little peeved that his cousin’s taking up the space in your lap. If he’d be more forward or if his Kekkai Genkai would allow it, he could- but then again…

“How does that look?” You ask, turning your project for him to see. “Is it good, Shinki-Sensei?”

He blushes at the formal title.

“You don’t have to call me that,” he insists, though it feels good.

“Shinki,” his Father’s now standing in the doorway, dressed in his proper Kazekage uniform, the hat in his hands. “I’m leaving for tonight. Are you going to be okay?”

“Yes,” he gets up and walks over, torn between wanting to properly say goodbye to father and wanting to cherish every minute he gets with you.

Father gently pats his shoulder. “I see, you have company. Don’t stay up too late.”

“I won’t.”

And there it is again, a quick exchange of words between you and Father that ends with a hue of redness tinting his Father’s cheeks. And your face has changed too, your smile different now.

“Do you like Father?” He asks as soon as the front door has closed behind him. He knows not to ask questions like that with other people listening in.

Your shoulders pull up to your ears.

“What makes you think that?”

“Because you smile when you talk to him.”

“He’s hard not to like, don’t you think?” You ask and Shinki doesn’t know how to answer that, so he falls silent instead.

Shinki likes getting letters, but he likes getting letters from you best.

You usually start answering his questions before you ask him your own, always following up on the important stuff. How he’s settling in, how his experience is with training, how the Cacti are growing… And then, on a separate page, you add information about yet another plant, poisonous or not, that he can add to his collection. He likes your drawings of the plants, the detail you put into making sure that the petals have the correct color so that he can safely identify them in the future.

Sometimes you write Father letters too, though those have no added drawings and he usually reads them in private. They’re not that interesting, Shinki, thinks because you mostly just talk about your day-to-day.

They’re planning their next trip to Konoha when the letter arrives, from Shikamaru this time.

It arrives out of the ordinary, on an otherwise normal Tuesday, and the way Father’s brows furrow has even Uncle Kankuro stop what he’s doing.

“What’s wrong,” Uncle Kankuro asks.

Father says your name and Shinki turns, a weird feeling in his stomach.

“What is it?” He asks.

“Apparently, she’s fallen ill. A surgery was necessary, but her recovery is thwarted by the amount of work that needs to be done. Shikamaru asks if we could take her in for a few weeks, keep her from her work so that she can fully recuperate.”

“Can we, Father?” Shinki asks, mind racing. He’s going to be able to show you Suna, isn’t he?

Father exchanges a look with Uncle Kankuro, who grins and folds his hands behind his head.

“Don’t look at me, Gaara. You’re the one who can’t keep his eyes of her when she’s around.”

Shinki furrows his brows. “Do you suspect her to spy on us, Father?”

“What?” Father turns. “No, nothing like that, Shinki. I-”

“Your Dad likes her,” Uncle Kankuro grins. “Probably as much as you like her, Shinki.”

“So she can come?”

Father sighs. “She can come. But-” He raises his hand. “Don’t overwhelm her. I know you want to show her everything, but first we have to make sure she’s resting.”

Your skin is paler than he remembers, the white of your eyes a sickly yellow. You walk a little hunched and your bags are being carried by another Konoha-Shinobi. Shinki remembers him, the telltale green of his uniform, the thick eyebrows and the bright smile.

“Friend Gaara!” He launches into an excited tale, but Shinki steps to the side, a little unsure on how he’s supposed to be greeting you.

“Can I get a hug?” You ask, sinking to your knees. He nods, dropping himself into your arms.

You might look a little different, a little worse for wear, but you still feel the same, warm and safe.

“Are you excited to show me Suna?” You whisper into his ear. “I bet Gaara told you that I’m supposed to rest first, right?”

“He did. But you really don’t look good.”

You laugh softly, flinching at the same time. “I’m going to be as good as new in a few days, don’t worry.”

Back at the Kazekage residence Shinki shows you your room.

“You should lie down,” he insists, pulling back the blanket. “My room is right next door if you need anything.”

“Do you wanna lie down with me?” You ask, flinching again as you stretch out on the mattress.”

“Am I allowed to?” He asks, the words slipping out before he can think twice about them.

You blink slowly. “I’m allowing it,” you tell him softly. “But only do it if you’re comfortable with it. You can try and if you don’t like it, I won’t be hurt if you want to leave again. I’m sure you have a lot to do.”

Curious, he slips out of his sandals and under the thin blanket. Your body is warm and it feels like a hug, but different.

“Where did they do surgery?” He asks, turning onto his side a little.

Your eyes are closed but you raise an arm and point at the side of your stomach.

“Here. You want to see the scar?”

“Can I?”

Instead of answering you pull up your shirt, revealing puckered skin that’s an angry red and hot to the touch.

“I think it’s inflamed,” he points out, a little worried now.

“That’s probably right. I’m going to rest a bit now and by nightfall, it’s going to be better, I’m sure. I’ve just been on my feet for too long.”

“Okay,” Shinki turns onto his back again, looking up at the ceiling. “Can I stay with you until then?”

“Sure.”

Shinki’s supposed to be in bed, he knows.

But you’re just a room away and he can’t sleep, skin itching.

So he slips out of bed and out the door, unheard, unseen.

Though, you’re not alone.

He can hear soft voices through the door, both of them familiar.

Father is with you.

For a moment he thinks about stepping through. Sure, Father sent him to bed, but he’s just saying “Good Night” one more time.

That is, until he hears his name.

“Do you want me to talk to Shinki?” You ask and Shinki freezes, doorknob in his hand.

Talk to him? About what?

“I think that’s my job, is it not?”

“Perhaps, but I can tell you’re having problems with it.”

“I’m not sure if he understands.”

“He’s smart. He will understand.”

Understand what? Shinki shivers, the coldness of the stones around him seeping into his bones.

“Gaara,” you say now, your voice now different from before. It reminds him… it reminds him of Uncle Shikamaru when he calls out to Aunt Temari, that smile on his face that Uncle Kankuro calls lovesick. “Rest. We’ll talk about it in the morning. You’re thinking too much.”

“No one told me that starting a family would be this difficult.”

“It’s not. You’re just making it difficult,” you laugh softly. There’s the whisper of linen. Did Father just slip into bed with you?

Slowly, carefully, Shinki unwraps his hand from the doorknob and takes a step back.

He’s not sure what he just witnessed, just that it’s something of importance.

Father eyes him over the breakfast table.

“You did not sleep much last night,” he concludes. “Do you want to stay home and rest? Keep our guest company?”

“Father,” Shinki swallows around the lump in his throat. If he wants to ask, he needs to ask now, before the rest of the house wakes up. “Did you spend the night… with her?”

Bright red bleeds into Father’s pale cheeks. His eyes widen.

“How-” He takes a deep breath. “You know?”

“I wanted to say Good Night one more time,” Shinki confesses, staring down at the table. “And I overheard.”

“I suppose,” Father sighs softly, “I suppose this is as good time as any. We were talking… We’re considering… What do you think about having a mother?”

-x-

“Mother,” Shinki calls out to you, “Hurry.”

“I’m here, I’m here,” you laugh, catching up to him. “Incoming,” you warn him just seconds before your hand messes up his hair. “It’s just Shikadai.”

“Yes, but he’s been training,” Shinki insists. “And I want to know who of us has gotten better.”

“Ah,” you smile. “I’m sure you’re going to do great. I’m proud of your growth.”

Shinki grumbles something, turning away when you move to mess up his hair even more.

“Stop,” he insists. “I’m not a little child anymore.”

“No, you’re not.” You smile, squinting at the Horizon where the Thunder Train is starting to appear. “But you’re always going to be my favorite son.”

“I’m your only child,” Shinki reminds you, nose curled. He likes being called your favorite, even though he opposes it every time.

“Oh, I don’t know,” you whistle an innocent tune. “That might change, you know?”

Shinki freezes. “Are you saying-”

“No,” you smile, shaking your head. “And if I were, I wouldn’t tell you like that. But what are your thoughts about it? Would you mind?”

He considers it, watching the Thunder Train approaching.

His hand finds yours, squeezing it. You squeeze back, no words needed.

“No,” he announces eventually, just as the Train halts in front of them. “I wouldn’t mind.”

part 2

#my writing #shinki and reader #shinki #sabaku no shinki #sabaku no gaara #kazekage family #gaara x reader #gaara fluff #shinki and gaara #gaara and shinki #shinki fluff #shikatema #shikadai #sabaku no kankuro #naruto x reader

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