#shinelikethunder

[zmediaoutlet]

a vessel

pairings: Sam/Dean(na), Dean/Lucifer, pining!Cas warning: non-con length: 2700

What if Jack wasn't Kelly Kline's son, but Deanna's?

---

Deanna can't stop chewing her thumbnail. It's down to the quick, smarting, but she keeps sticking it in her mouth anyway, biting at it anyway. A rush of coppery salt makes her jerk and blink and finally tear her eyes away from the tome of celestial theory. Red riming the bed of the nail. She could get up and get a band-aid but it'll have to wait because Sam, the stupid self-sacrificing idiot, is in a submarine seventy-three years and an ocean away from her, and nothing really matters but getting him back.

"Him and the Hand of God," Castiel says, extra-gravelly like if his voice is even lower she'll take it more seriously.

"Yeah, Cas," Deanna says, but she doesn't know why he bothers with clarifying. Like they haven't known each other for almost a decade. Like he doesn't know what her priorities really are.

Sam shouldn't have gone. Of course there was no choice but to let him be the one to go. Not the first time she's wished she was born a guy. A submarine in the forties full of male soldiers—no way she'd be able to sneak around, find what needed to be found. Of course, his stupid hair would make him stick out like a sore thumb, too, so technically—but he'd only given her that so-patient look, waiting for her to come to the obvious conclusion. For all the arguments to the contrary over the years, she isn't actually stupid.

They'd hugged. Nothing else, not with Castiel right there watching, waiting almost impatient, and he'd wrapped careful arms around her shoulders and pressed his lips down against the top of her head. She can bring to mind exactly how he smelled, right in the center of his chest. The shirt he'd worn for two days, the faintest trace of rain-fresh deodorant but also the smell of his skin. Salt. She'd said told you you should get a haircut, and he'd huffed and said, yeah, and then kissed her hair brief and easy, and stepped back to where Cas was waiting with that hard strange light in his eyes. Getting ready to jump. See you soon, Sam said, and Cas clamped a hand on his shoulder and then—

She blinks hard at the book. It's gone blurry. Her thumb hurts, and she sucks it clean of the blood and then wipes her hands hard over her face, pissed at herself—there's work to do, there's no time for this shit—and on the next page, there it is. A spell.

"Can you do it?" she says, dumping the book in front of Cas. "It calls for the power of an archangel, but—"

Cas looks it over. Irritated at first—he has been since he came back sogged out from the ocean, which Deanna did find entertaining until she realized what it meant and bloomed into full-on panic—but then considering. "It can't hurt to try," Castiel says.

Her gut's one hard furious clench. She thought he'd say something sadsacky and Cas-like, something about his powers being fragile. "I don't know how much time he has," Deanna says. Cas ignores her, looking at the ingredients. "The whole time travel thing—do you know how long we have, until the sub goes down?"

"We have time," Castiel says, barely looking at her, and she—how does he know? How can he possibly?

The majority of the ingredients are simple if gross, fetched from the catalog in one of the archive rooms. She washes her face in cold water in the WC and puts her hair up in a half-bun and looks at herself in the mirror. Her eyelashes dark spikes like she's been crying. Her lower lip so bitten and chapped she might as well be a kid again. When she remembers telling Sam, who kept chewing his lip, hey, quit it, use Blistex like a normal person, and had tugged his lip out of his mouth so many times when he was fourteen that he'd bitten her thumb once in pure bitchy retaliation. He'd stopped, though. All that work to get him to grow up and she couldn't, couldn't. Wouldn't.

In the library Cas is working, steady. Willing to try, no matter what. No matter what else has happened between them she loves him a little, for that. Only—

"Cas," she says, helpless. He dumps vervain into the steel bowl, ignoring her. "You're not strong enough. It isn't going to work."

"Deanna," he says, rough, and pauses. He picks up the butcher knife, dragging the preserved brain closer. "Have faith."

Where has he been. As though there were any point in having faith in anything but—Sam, and sometimes, on occasion, what Sam and her could do, together, and when all else failed what their friends could manage. She presses her fingertips to her eyesockets, pressing hard just under the brow bone, and she wants—more almost than anything she wants—to go back. When their problems were easier. Just a quick apocalypse or two. Sam at her side, the two of them turning to people who knew better for help—like standing in Bobby's house, getting easy answers. Getting an eyeroll and getting called stupid, but the answers came anyway, easy-peasy.

Her eyes open. Bobby.

"Wait," she says. Cas sighs. He drops the mangled flesh into the bowl. "Wait, you—we can power you up."

"How," he says.

"Use me." Cas pauses, still holding the knife. Deanna drags in air, certain. "You touched Bobby's soul, way back then, to get me and Sammy back from the past. Use me, take—whatever you need. However you gotta power up, so you can do that spell and you can get Sam back. You can do that. Can't you?"

"I… can," Castiel says, looking down at the bowl of reagents. "But I'm sure I don't need to, Deanna—"

"You can't be sure," Deanna says, quick. She comes close, sets her hand on his sleeve. "Cas, please."

Later she'll know it all went wrong—there. Right then.

Cas laughs. He never, ever laughs.

Deanna steps back. Instinct, inbuilt from age four. "What?"

"It's so strange," Castiel says. He turns, leaning his hip against the table. Weird and casual. "I'm working so hard to get Sammy back, and I'm letting you boss me around like—what, like you're interesting? You've got the connection to Amara but there's nothing about you that's ever, ever mattered to me. Isn't that funny."

His voice odd, high. Deanna takes another step back and runs into the other table. She grips the edge of it with one hand.

Castiel drops the knife onto his table and then he's—there, crowded up against her, his hands hard on her wrists. Bruising, shocking strength. She doesn’t breathe, looking up into his eyes. Unfamiliar blue.

"I always focused on Sam, you know," Castiel says. He smiles down at her, shrugs. "Girl that got away. Just hated him to bits. But you, you were always just the irritating little gravel in my shoe. Little bitch that Sam kept pining after, making him say no to everything I wanted to do. Even when I finally got in there, it was you that caused all the problems. What was it he saw in you? I never could figure it out. When, to me, you're just some stupid slut who never served her purpose. My brother never even got to take you for a ride, so what is the point of you?"

Her tongue, caught fat and shocked in her mouth, finally unfreezes. "I don't know, Lucy," she says, her voice coming from some distant place. "Must be above your pay-grade."

Lucifer smiles wider, all teeth. "Took you long enough, dummy," he says, and then backhands her so hard she falls back against the table, the legs screeching a foot backwards on the floor.

Pain's nothing—it rings in her skull, blood sluicing down from her nose, but so what—and she knows, knows, there's an angel blade on the bookshelf under the scimitar and there's another on the bar, by the crystal decanter she hasn't refilled in too long—and even if they won't work on Lucifer, at least it'll give her time—and all that goes through her brain in quick flipbook succession, knowing how to roll off the table and lunge for the bar and grab it and spin and stab him in the chest, in the fucking brain if she has to, no matter whose body he's in—but. This isn't Cas, this is an archangel, and he knocks her back to tabletop in an instant, crushing her down into the wood, not letting up. She blinks hard, tears smarting, and Lucifer arranges Cas's face into a little playact of pity, looking down at her.

"Aw, sweetheart. Feeling tough?" he says.

She lets her head thunk back onto the table. Rage ripples down through her throat and lungs and gut, chased with a liquid shot of fear. She wants the mark back on her arm. How she could tear into him, with the blade back in her hand. No matter the consequences that'd follow.

Lucifer looks all over her face, clearly entertained. "Well, that is kinda fun," he says. He transfers her wrists to one hand, squeezing so hard the bones feel like they're going to snap any second, and flicks her hair back away from her face. Smiles, softer. More awful. "You know, Cas said yes to this? He knew I was your only shot at fighting back Amara. First decision he made that wasn't grade-A idiot. But you know that wasn't the only reason. Don't you?"

Deanna breathes shallowly. The cage. Sam stuck in there, all her terror proved true, and when she broke in Lucifer beating them both bloody, her bones shuddering and Sam nearly gone and Cas shoving Lucifer away from them, from her, and—she can't—she was holding Sam, curled over him like she could protect him from what was coming, and Cas said—Cas—

He drags cool fingertips down her cheek, denting the skin. Down her throat, hard enough it hurts. "All those dumb protective urges," Lucifer says. Cas's fingers on her collarbone, and then dragging at the collar of her henley. Revealing the edge of her bra. Her heart thuds thick and slow and calm, a vast coiled beast under her skin. Lucifer's lips twitch. "All that envy. What he'll never get. And he just wants to protect you, anyway, you know that? You and Sammy. He knows. You know that, right? About you and your brother."

"Don't know what you're talking about," Deanna says. Wishes, immediately, that she hadn't. Another stupid instinct from all those years in the dark.

"Honey, you're dumb but you ain't that dumb," Lucifer says. His hand drags down, glancing over one breast and then down to her stomach. It sucks in without her say-so. "So," he says, soft. "I'll get your brother back, so I can take the Hand of God out of his big mitts. Then I'll gut him, because I am so, so tired of that stupid hangdog face of his. And I'll keep you safe and sound in my palace, a caged kitty while we work out how to take out my bitch of an aunt. But I think, first, it's only fair to give Cas a little treat, for the favor he's done for me—letting me free to take out Mork and Mindy, once and for all." He drags her hips to the edge of the table in a hard cruel haul, and smiles at her. "Mindy was kinda hot, don't you think?"

He flips her onto her stomach. Maybe he thinks that's more humiliating. She breathes slow. Not like it's the first time. Her belt snaps. Her jeans and panties hauled down to her knees. She braces her boots on the floorboards. Buzz of a zip. "Wow, not the most embarrassing vessel in the world," Lucifer says. She wants to say, Cas. Cas, stop. It's me. Cas, you can stop, it's me, please, don't let him, don't let him do it, you don't want to hurt me, Cas, can't you—can't you take control, take some goddamn responsibility, Cas, please—except there's no point in saying anything like that because if Cas were going to stop it he would have stopped it, already, and while she's thinking that his cock blunts stupid up against her, already hard, and she opens her eyes wide and sees every fleck and color of the woodgrain and then it's shoved inside. Thick. Not the thickest or biggest but she's dry and it hurts. Of course it's meant to.

She grips the edge of the table, takes it. Her hipbones grind into the wood. "Don't be afraid to make some noise," Lucifer says. He grabs her hair, pulling her face away from the safe shadow of the table, hauling her back onto Cas's dick. "We gotta make a nice highlight reel for Castiel, don't we?"

Like he's taking a walk in the park. She braces, tilts her hips so it hurts less. Because her head's been pulled up she keeps her eyes fixed on the telescope, at the far end of the library, and lets the room bob dizzily between each pummeling thrust. Her toes curl, scrunched inside her boots. Her heart a distant, steady drum.

"You're good at this, huh?" Lucifer says. He's not. His hips move like a piston but there's no imagination, either to make it hurt more or to humiliate her by making it good. Never was human and apparently never bothered to learn, either from Cas or Sam or poor doomed Nick, all those years ago. Just hard meat, cramming in where she's soft, over and over. Slick now because that's how bodies work. She doesn't know if he's ever done this before, in any body, but Cas is hairsbreadth from being a virgin so it can't take that much longer.

Sure enough: "Let's give him a show," Lucifer says, and pulls her upright by the throat. His breath coming in odd little puffs. He's not choking her but the clutch is hard enough to make her dizzy. She squeezes her eyes closed and focuses: the pole slotting in and in and in, the grip around her right wrist, the bruises throbbing up on the bend of her hips and now maybe on her thighs where she's getting crushed against the table. His chin over her shoulder, prickly stubble against the side of her neck, his voice soft while he says, "We better show Sam, too, before I kill him. Make sure he really sees. Big sister, dripping. Just like he used to, you know? Back then, when we were roomies."

She makes a sound. Not meaning to but the air chokes in her throat. He squeezes hard, laughs high and goofy.

"You're all so easy," Lucifer says, laughing, and then he pulls her in tight and pushes her own hand over her crotch and says, "Feel that," while he jerks inside, coming. She can't, other than the thickness. It should be—boiling hot, like the demons used to be, but then again he's an angel. Despite everything.

When he pulls out there's a sting. He pushes her hand down further, cups against the loose-wet gap, and she feels that first trickle, dripping. Thick.

"Too bad Michael never got to try you out," Lucifer says, soft against her ear. She opens her eyes. The library, the telescope. A little smoochy kiss against her neck. "Would've been fun to break you both in. Oh, well."

He shoves her. Deanna catches herself against the table.

"Ooh, stay just like that. Be right back, lickety-split."

A flutter, like wings. How didn't they notice that before?

She pulls her hand out from between her legs. Sticky. No red. She's surprised, considering, but then Jimmy Novak's dick wasn't all that big. Her breath and heart and mind are still slow and calm as a hibernating snake. In her pocket, a knife. She drags her jeans mostly up, folds her fingers around the silver handle. Angels and blood. Her thumbnail stings, where she tore it.

The wingbeats come again and there's Sam, in an old-time sailor uniform and his face pale and his eyes going right to Deanna, ignoring the danger at his left side.

"Dee?" he says, taking her in, and then steps forward. His face changing, seeing what was left for him to see. Behind his shoulder Lucifer smiles at her, broadly satisfied. Happy to win the battle, no matter the ultimate stakes of the war.

[liamgallaghermpreg]

john/dean for ship bingo

Yeehaw!

[mitzvahmelting]

@shinelikethunder

your tags and "dean kinnie" makes me want to scream fjdjdjdj

true understanders know that jensen isn't lost in the dean sauce, he's lost in the jdm john winchester sauce, which by default also makes him more deanlike than we can possibly imagine and also traps him in an ouroboros of trying to get daddy to say i love you

[gothiccharmschool]

Dear @shinelikethunder, I am saving that tag. It is perfection.

[spngirlpolls]

thank you yuri reading list

hello friends. recently i requested toxic yuri/violent lesbian media and everyone was SO NICE and sent me so much good stuff. thank you all of the generous anons (and extra special thanks to @shinelikethunder) it was really very kind of you all.

as a thank you, i figured i'd do my part and compile a list of toxic yuri/violent lesbian books for your reading pleasure. i read mainly horror/scifi so that impacts the contents of the list, limiting the scope to books i've read within the last year(ish). hopefully you find something new that piques your interest!

books i enjoyed:

lucky red by claudia cravens: a sapphic western set in a dodge city whorehouse fit with lesbian gunslingers to boot. yeehaw!

perfume and pain by anna dorn: an homage to 1950s lesbian pulp novels, a controversial los angeles lesbian author tries (and fails) to get her shit together. it's the worst lesbian you know making major life mistake after major life mistake all while being loud and wrong about everything.

an education in malice by s.t. gibson: a carmilla retelling set at a women’s college in the 1960s where carmilla and laura vie for the attention of their mysterious poetry professor. sexy. also check out a dowry of blood by this author if you are interested in a polyamorous dracula retelling.

merciless waters by rae knowles: a bloody novella about toxic yuri pirates. also sexy!

last to leave the room by caitlin starling: a scientist begins to crack under pressure when she is finds her doppelganger in her basement, and tries to keep it under wraps from her sexyscary supervisor. the scifi/horror stuff here was just okay for me but the YURI... i still think about you lachlan woodfield.

where echoes die by courtney gould: YA. girl travels to strange desert town to find the truth about her dead mother's mysterious medical "treatments". yuri is less toxic and more sweet teen stuff but the whole thing is weird enough so i'm including it

a dark and drowning tide by allison saft: academic rivals are forced to team up and solve a locked-room murder mystery whilst on a magical expedition with intense political stakes. gothic atmosphere, german folklore, jewish main character! this was my most anticipated release of the year. loved it. licked the plate clean.

the locked tomb series by tasmyn muir: lesbians. necromancy. space. insanity. please just read these fucking books.

books i didn’t love but maybe you will:

our wives under the sea by julia armfield: wife Comes Back Wrong from a mysterious submarine mission. marketed as horror but is actually just litfic. beautiful writing but just not for me.

hide by kiersten white: hide and seek game in abandoned amusement park for big money, but the bodies start piling up. felt very YA and also the yuri was backburner.

dykette by jenny fran davis: the worst lesbians you know go on christmas vacation together. messy but also annoying autofiction.

feel free to message me for more details about any of these. happy reading!

[stuckyfingers]

@shinelikethunder I loved your fic Blood from a Stone!

Part 2 here

tw blood:

"He couldn't help laughing, because the words 'HYDRA FUCK TOY' were carved fresh and bleeding into Rogers' chest."

[fandom-hoarder]

Genuinely thought you meant nauseous with horniness and was like, yeahhhh exactly 👁👄👁

idk how dean fans do meta I started thinking of "daddy's blunt instrument" vs dean being michael sword and immediately got nauseous

[cedarxwing]

Hey there! I’m new to the fandom and recently came across your blog. I was wondering if you’d be ok with sharing your thoughts on

[https://www.tumblr.com/crimsondinnerparty/762443852956254208/hannigram-the-ultimate-zero-sum-game].

I’m on the lookout for good meta writers, and I’d really appreciate any recommendations you might have. Thanks so much!

Hello, welcome to the fandom! <3

First of all, that's a beloved mutual! Hi, crimsondinnerparty, if you're reading this! I do love meta that unpacks a specific line from the show, and this one does a great job highlighting Will's loss of self versus Hannibal's loss of independence. It speaks to the erotic horror of self-annihilation that occurs whenever two individuals merge into one continuity, which is one of the themes of the show. If you enjoy that post, you'd like The Amorous Annihilation of Will by Leila Taylor.

Personally, I don't think Will and Hannibal died at the bottom of the cliff, so I don't necessarily take Will's zero sum line quite so literally. I don't think hannigram is doomed to a tragic ending. It's tragic to lose one's sense of self, true, but everyone changes and builds new identities, and after three more hypothetical seasons, who knows where Will's character would land? However, I do agree that Will would always struggle to find happiness and any ending for him would at best be bittersweet.

As for other meta, idk if our tastes will align, but I can recommend a few! I'm drawn to meta writers who are interested in aspects of the show besides hannigram, who don't talk around characters or themes that they personally don't like, and who are aware when the show is winking at them with references to its source material. Off the top of my head, there's @bonearenaofmyskull, @bluebeardsbride-archive, @k-s-morgan, @fatalism-and-villainy, and @shinelikethunder. And of course @hannibalmetaresource has everything you could possibly want. :)

[digitalmeowmix]

Now it’s Perfect 2023 sign ups are open !

Running for a third year Now it’s Perfect is a wincest and gencest focused fic/art fest created to celebrate the Supernatural finale and Sam and Dean being reunited in heaven. All content must focus on Sam and Dean in episode 15x20 and post-canon. Signups open on July 30 and close August 4th . All submissions are due Nov.1st at 8pm EST for a reveal on Nov.19th 2023

@brotherwives @according2thelore @darling-sammy @applecrumbledore @lewishamil10n @twochildreninamoteldemo @compo67 @weaksspot @brothersinablackcar @winchesterpandemic @catnipster69 @lovetheirloves @fictionallemons @fandom-hoarder @dyed-red @amoreanonyname @chiquititasnewsong @zmediaoutlet @prince-of-elsinore @durinsbride @chiisana-sukima @hello-starlingfics @stanfordsweater @nigeltde-fic @deanplease @nevergettingoverwincest @deansmixtape @kassyscarlett @kirathehyrulian @leatherjacketed @red-meat-my-beloved @imnot-evenhere @shinelikethunder @babybrotherism @hellhoundlair @submarinerwrites @soulless-puppy @lovetransaction @ricecookerice @winchesterwhorehouse @addictsam @saltbind @youchoseeachother @luminescent-chorus @lordbyronbutspicier @ani-coolgirl @sweetpapercroissant @jinkieswouldyoulookatthis @chicago7-eleven @theangiediary

[corneliushickey]

rules - go here and make a poll of your top ten most listened to artists long term short term (i am cheating by changing the rules) so everyone can vote for their favorite

tagged by @lovedeluxe 🤡💚💖

i tag @svadilfari @voxceleste @intomyth @gravesite @roadsidegrave @ilynpilled @shinelikethunder

[twochildreninamoteldemo]

fuckable possessed!john winchester in 1.22 Devil’s Trap (part ii)

for @shinelikethunder​

[jonsilverstone]

I finally tried my hand on this hilarious post. :D

Credit to @rosegoldlips @bigscaryd @animatedamerican @shinelikethunder @ericvilas @amatalefay

[liamgallaghermpreg]

tagged by @witchoil!! make a poll with five of your all time favorite characters and then tag five people to do the same. see which character is everyone's favorite!

tagging @overheaven @mpregjohnwinchester @seanwinchester @shinelikethunder @wheatleylaboratories!! but even if i didn't tag you please feel free to do this and tag me in your post!

[bulkyphrase]

Steve Rogers + Hydra Trash Party: A Valentine's Day Rec List

Happy Valentine's Day! There's nothing more romantic to me than absolutely terrible things happening to my favorite fictional men, so please enjoy this list of all my Steve-centric HTP faves.

I know these are not for everyone, so this first fic is a cute story where Hydra accidentally turns themselves into cephalopods:

The Better to Hug You With by Lauralot (@lauralot89) (General Audiences | 1,740 words | No Archive Warnings Apply)

Summary: As he's stepping off the Metro, Steve catches a glimpse of waving tentacles in his peripheral vision. An octopus is wriggling onto the platform. He's entering the Triskelion when it happens again: a flash of tentacles in the corner of his eye, this time roping around a filing cabinet. Clearly Steve needs more sleep.

Everything after this is more HTP-typical non-con and violence, so proceed with caution and be sure to check the tags before reading.

[Podfic] A Hostile Work Environment read by sallysparrow017 (Explicit, 45-60 Minutes, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Note: The original has been deleted but at least we still have a great podfic version of this amazing fic

Summary: Podfic of stoatsandwich's 'A Hostile Work Environment' Five times Captain America fantasized about being gang-raped by the STRIKE Team, plus one more.

Blood from a Stone by shinelikethunder (tenlittlebullets) (@shinelikethunder) (Explicit | 23,651 words | Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con)

Summary: Once you passed a certain point in the hierarchy, getting ordered to do shit like lead a gangbang on Captain America was a surprise but not a shock. Fill for a hydratrashmeme prompt requesting a Hydra/Steve gangbang where Steve has been dosed with aphrodisiacs to force him to get off. Or, a trash party dumpster travesty in two acts:Act 1: Steve Rogers: World's Most Defiant Hydra Party FavorAct 2: Post-Rescue Hurt/Comfort: Now With Bonus Steve/Sam Sex Pollen Dubcon Also available as a podfic read by sallysparrow017

Catastrophe (Breeds Strength) by sock_bealady (Explicit | 21,272 words | Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage)

Summary: Not long after the events of Iron Man 3, the Avengers are captured by what they thought were friends. Rumlow promises they won't remember a thing. Steve is starting to hope he's right.

For What it's Worth by throttlegainwell (@throttlegainwell) (Explicit | 11,654 words | Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con)

Summary: When he found the safehouse, after it had been scoured for evidence, he’d personally taken it down to studs. He recognized the room from the tape. What he hadn’t recognized so far was any of the men from the tape. None of them had surfaced, none had been so involved in Project Insight that they hadn’t run for the hills when defeat was on the air. And he knew their faces. He knew them. He knew their ugly jeering voices and their obnoxious laughs and their appendectomy scars and at this point he might even recognize their dicks at a urinal. He’d know them the second he saw them. If he saw them. Part of him hoped that Bucky wouldn’t, but Bucky seemed to remember a lot more than he claimed, so it seemed a stretch too far. As he rather violently found out seven months later, on a side street in Prague at two thirty-three in the morning, it was.

Four Across by justanotherStonyfan (Explicit | 5,728 words | Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con)

Summary: Written for a prompt on the Hydra Trash Meme -So say HYDRA uses the Winter Soldier to seduce people as a spy as well as to assassinate people. Some people like it vanilla, some people like to dominate him - and some people want to be dominated by him. He's conditioned to be dominant when triggered by a certain word or phrase. There's a word/phrase to turn dom!WS off too, but the character of your choice has no idea what it is. They didn't mean to trigger this aspect of the Soldier, they just happened to say the wrong thing.

Give Me Your Filth by Dira Sudis (dsudis) (@dsudis) (Explicit | 15,378 words | Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con)

Summary: "I don't care," Bucky said. "I don't care which one was you and which one was someone else. You're underneath me now. It's my turn. I do things now, and you lie there and take it." This was going to hurt.

I Remembered You Were Mine by hobbitdragon (Explicit | 4,455 words | Rape/Non-Con)

Summary: Steve awakes in a strange place with a familiar face standing over him. He has no idea where he is or how he got there, but at least Bucky is with him. Also available as a podfic read by Tipsy_Kitty (@tipsyxkitty)

Man in the Box by buckybleeds (@buckybleeds) (Explicit | 29,239 words | Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con)

Summary: This is the fic I've been referring to as "the horrible boxfic." Hydra wins and Steve gets put into a put into a sex vending machine in the Strike team locker room.

Mnemosyne by MilesHibernus (Explicit | 6,924 words | Rape/Non-Con)

Summary: Steve's working on dealing with a mission gone wrong when Bucky comes in from the cold.

Salt by throttlegainwell (@throttlegainwell) (Mature | 7,168 words | Rape/Non-Con)

Summary: Memory is inconvenient – for so many reasons, in so many ways. Bucky’d read the books and seen the movies and, frankly, lived the horror show. He knew the misconceptions that people so easily believed. Memories weren’t like movies; they’re not so neat, not so cleanly edited, not so purposeful. They’re just bits of collected and confusingly collated data. Attempting to get around that fact, as had so been the case for the treatment of his mind, was unnatural.

Show You How by justanotherStonyfan (Explicit | 10,567 words | Rape/Non-Con)

Summary: Written for a prompt on the Hydra Trash Meme:Rumlow and Steve have started fooling around sometime shortly before the events of CA: TWS. They've done stuff - they've probably sucked each other off, maybe some fingering, whatever - but Rumlow hasn't actually fucked Steve yet. Steve is still a virgin in the sense of not having had penetrative sex, at least with a dude. Steve is taken into custody, maybe after the bridge fight if they didn't get rescued. He gets taken to whatever horrible gang-bang cell exists in the HYDRA sub-basement with Rumlow and other random thugs. Rumlow says something with super mean fake tenderness like, hey, sorry I've kept you waiting this long to get your cherry popped, but I really wanted it to be the right moment . Which, of course, is going to be right now in front of everybody. Up to the writer if other people then get involved too. Bonus points if Steve isn't particularly naive; he knows there's stuff Rumlow isn't telling him or maybe even that he's being played in some way, but obviously doesn't know the extent of it and is enjoying the sex and the general human contact/comfort before horrible things start going down.

The Wolf by ipoiledi (@ipoiledi) (Explicit | 5,114 words | Graphic Depictions Of Violence)

Summary: So it started that way: a harmless joke.

to burn your kingdom down by glorious_spoon (@glorious-spoon) (Explicit | 12,370 words | Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con)

Summary: The Avengers go after a Hydra splinter cell with a nasty habit of brutalizing their prisoners. Steve has some ugly history with them, and when a rescue mission gone wrong leaves him and Sam in enemy hands, the situation gets uglier still.

TsumBody to Love by buckybleeds (@buckybleeds) (Explicit | 7,067 words | Rape/Non-Con)

Summary: *handwavium* Bucky and Steve are now tsum tsums and Brock's gonna fuck 'em and they're going to be sad and squeaky about it.

[tenyearsoftrash]

HTP Fic Rec

Blood from a Stone by shinelikethunder Official Summary: "Once you passed a certain point in the hierarchy, getting ordered to do shit like lead a gangbang on Captain America was a surprise but not a shock." Rec notes: I still remember this fic VIVIDLY and as recently as 2023 have linked it to friends as an example of amazing writing and HTP and I know I'm not the only one

[antigonewinchester]

nine people I would like to know better 💞

tagged by @egipci, thank you friend <3

Last Song: Teeth (I've discovered the Pop Songs Covers part of YouTube & it's pretty fun)

Favorite Color: cardinal

Currently Watching: Mid-watch of Peaky Blinders S1, and planning to do a SPN S6 rewatch/commentary

Last Movie/TV Show: Annika, a Scottish police procedural; my family loves mystery shows so we all watched it together last time I visited

Spicy/Savory/Sweet: Savory > Sweet > Spicy

Relationship Status: Single

Current Obsession(s): Gene Wolf's Book of the New Sun (in combination w/ the Shelved on Genre podcast about it); still Revolutionary Girl Utena; I'm excited about my 101 fics project, 'cause I can tell I'm learning more writing shorter but more frequent (at least for me!) fics

Last Thing You Googled: LMAO okay so it was "taylor swift straight" because I saw a post on my dash about how she said she's straight in some new album promo? I think? which... no duh. but I'm not big on celebrity sexuality conspiracies.

Let's see if I also know 9 people... @weirdbrothers @thehitchhiker1953diridalupino @shinelikethunder @sweetpapercroissant @tiernaherida @serjaimelannister @maggot-monger @juststartingtobebrothersagain and anyone else scrolling past & who'd like to answer :)