#shhhh let me think im funny

[bonestrouslingbones]

is it self absorbed of me to kinda smirk to myself in a knowing way whenever i see somebody not only nickname their own version of ut pap but also nickname him Russ. is that maybe a little bit too much up my own ass

[ilovepaigebueckerss]

can we have emily engstler x fem but masc energy reader like- reader is always trying to hit on the girls and trying to rizz them w a masc energy (reader is TALLLL and has some muscles) and when she saw emily for the first time shes like okay im seeing you and she suddenly turns out as a pick me girl trying to get her attention 😭😭 masc energy suddenly disappears and she just wants emily (very random im sorry 💀💀💀)

just an act.

part 1/?

pairing: emily engstler x fem reader

summary: you were a pretty cocky girl. you knew you were fine and you used that as an advantage to flirt with any girl you wanted and you were pretty smooth. this all changes one night when you meet a blonde basketball player.

a/n: okay so like the dates dont match the ACTUAL game dates but js shhhh🤫🤫🤫but anywho i kinda dont like this but yeah. THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING BTW KEEP EM COMING.

word count: 1.1k

__________________________

APRIL 26TH, 1:23 AM

you were at a bar with your friend maddie, taking shots, dancing, and just having fun. you were wearing a short leather skirt with a plain white crop top. (you can imagine whatever you want) you had your hair in a half up half down style and you thought you looked pretty good.

“cmon y/n!!! lets dance” maddie yells to you

you were a few drinks in and already ready to go home. the bar was sweaty and reeked of alcohol. not to mention the loads of guys attempting to get a pass on you.

“you go ahead, i think imma get another drink.” you respond.

she nods and throws you a thumbs up as she walks toward some random dude shes probably gonna forget about tomorrow.

you head over to the bar and order yourself a drink. you noticed the bar tender was oddly attractive. long hair, a septum AND eyebrow piercing. she was wearing a white tanktop with a unbuttoned plaid button up.

one thing about you is, if you think someone is attractive you’re gonna let em know since you were pretty confident.

she came back with your drink and when you grabbed it you made sure to graze your hand against hers.

“thanks” you say.

“welcome” she responds.

“soo.. when did you get into bartending?” you asked. you mentally slapped yourself. ‘really’ you thought ‘couldn’t think of anything better..’ you judge yourself.

she chuckled at your poor attempt to start a conversation.

“2 years ago” she responds, smiling at you. “whats your name?” she asks, continuing the conversation.

“y/n, and you?”

“audrey”

you smile at her taking a sip of your drink observing her features.

“a picture lasts longer you know.” she says snapping you out of your thoughts.

“haha very funny. its not my fault theres an attractive girl standing right in front of me.” you respond slickly

you can see her facial expression changed to a flustered one. ‘im backk’ you thought.

“thanks. your pretty cute yourself” she says. you giggle at her comment “thank you” you say sweetly, still smiling.

maddie comes stumbling towards you. “y/nnn, lets go homeee” she slurs.

“oh my god, let me get her home. it was nice meeting you audrey!” you say grabbing maddie by her waist to keep her stable.

“you too.”

______________________________

APRIL 28TH, 7 AM

“morning” you say to a very sleepy maddie. she just groans in response.

“made you some food!” you say smiling big.

“thanks y/n/n” she responds tiredly. “mhm” you hum in response.

“im so excited! today is the mystics game!!” you practically yell.

_______________________________

APRIL 28TH, 5 PM

you were getting ready for the game making sure to look cute because you didn’t know who you were gonna see.

your rule was ‘always look cute nm where you’re going’ (real)

you were wearing jorts and a random basketball jersey you found on amazon. (again imagine whatever you want) you had big gold hoops on and your hair in a slick back pony with a red bow to match your jersey.

“MADDIEEE” you yelled for your best friend. “LETS GO WE NEEDA MAKE TIKTOKS”

your bestfriend comes running into the room all dolled up.

“AHHHH LOOK AT YOUUUU!!” you yell “looking all fine and shittt” you hype your best friend up.

she sticks her tongue out in response. “BABY LOOK AT YOUUU” she screams.

“mwah” you say making a kissy face.

“okay lemme just put my lip combo on and we good to go” you say excitedly.

________________________________

APRIL 28TH, 6 PM

the game started at 7 but due to your best friend being extra she insisted you got there at 6.

so there y’all were at the game; early as hell.

“okay ill get us our seats, go get the snacks from the car.” you say to her. she nods in response and starts walking off to the exit door.

once you found your seats you sat down and started scrolling on your phone. you notice the players starting to come in and you feel your cheeks get hot. you didn’t realize it would be that embarrassing to be here so early.

the players wave to you and you wave back smiling big. you couldn’t help but notice one blonde with tats. she was FIONEEE and coming your way.

‘shit’ you think.

“hey! thanks for coming to our game.” she says smiling

her voice is husk and you melted just by hearing it.

“oh and i like your jersey” she says raising her eyebrows.

you look down at your jersey and see that the ‘random’ jersey you bought belonged to a fairly attractive blonde basketball player.

“oh uh, thank you.” you respond shyly. you could feel your cheeks getting hot. “and uh of course yeah uh good luck” you say a stuttering mess

“well i got to go! but it was nice meeting you..” she pauses “uh y/n” you say “y/n!” she continues.

she runs off but looks back at you “hey! stay after the game!!” she yells to you.

________________________________

TIME SKIP

the game ended and the mystics won.

you didnt mention to your bestfriend that emily told you to stay after the game.

“hey uhh, so emily engstler wanted me to stay after the game.”

maddies eyes widen “WHAT” she says shocked and then her expression changes.

“and why did you not mention this?” she asks sassily.

“i don’t know but i’m scared” you say honestly. you never had to hide your feelings from maddie.

“girl, GET UP” she yells louder than she intended. “look at youuu” she says spinning you around. you couldn’t help but smile at her antics.

“i love you” you say making a sad face. “yeah yeah now go get your girl!” she says.

“y/n!” you hear a sorta familiar voice call your name.

your knees buckled at the sound of her voice.

“hiii” you say, sounding way too excited. your cheeks get that familiar sensation.

“hey! i just wanted you to stay after the game cause your pretty cute and i was wondering if i could get your insta” she admits.

you almost fainted.

“oh yeah its ‘y/ncantstandyouhoes’” (real)

Emily chuckles after hearing your username

“well i gotta get going but ill text you okay?” she says

“yeah..”

you stand there dumbfounded trying to process what just happened.

________________________________

TIME SKIP

you got home and maddie went straight to bed so you had no one to debrief to.

you decide to just go to bed until you see a notification that makes your knees weak.

‘Emily Engstler followed you!”

[auxwired]

FINISHED WATCHING EPITHET ERASED HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS

- giovanni potage.... oh my GOD I LOVE YOU SO BAD ITS INSANE - actually he is . hes way too similar to a pre existing oc. both chaotic good, italian, twinks, ginger(???? or red headed), flashy (and rightfully so), born in february, similar-ish personality. my oc is just him with a few tweaks and depressed - potage boy has PROVED that i have an extremely discernable type in which characters im drawn to - the art is ABSOLUTELY wonderful and i love the character designs so much - i dont like you dexter. (ive been calling sylvie that....shhhh) (hes funny but im still mad at him for doing that to molly) - zora i want you to kill me . kill me please - i think his epithet is barrier, - im not sure though - mera salamin i know you are sick but you are filipino WHERE DID YOUR MELANIN GO - dont get it when people say giovanni is a father figure, he is 19 if anything hes a kuya - ramsey is soooo silly. just a guy who committed fraud let him be - i have a friend who really likes percy and I CAN SEE WHY - we love you soft butch - molly im going to get you out of there I SWEARRR - mollys dad should consider doing a FUCKING night shift for ONCE - howie. howie please save me - HOWIE AROACE KING LETS FUCKINGGOOOOOO - oh and ramsey, zora, percy and indus are all under the trans umbrella because i said so thats all

[lunarsun12]

The Baby Of The House

Masterlist

Let’s say there was an accident which involved seonghwa stuff. He never gets a break from people causing emotional damage to him. Wooyoung happened to see Yoesang did the deed and is so keen to see Yeosang finally get punished like the rest of his siblings (mainly him and Jongho gets in trouble the most)

How will seonghwa react?

Back At Ateez Chat

Today 19:00

Wooyoung🐈‍⬛: OLD MAN! Yeosang broke your baby monitor + your laptop

Mingi🦄: That very specific to name what Yeosang broke…are you following him

Wooyoung🐈‍⬛: I may have been spying but I never tell mingi that…who said I was! I happen to see it

Jongho🍎: Uh huh…why do I see you following every day this week! You sus!

Wooyoung🐈‍⬛: SHUT UP THIS TIME IM INNOCENT EVEN THOUGH IT LOOKS LIKE NOT

Yunho🐶: No use on arguing with him! The answer is clear it is him!

Seonghwa🌸: Yeosang broke my stuff? I have word with him! He needs to be punished

Mingi🦄: Wooyoung stop hugging me!! It’s gross ew

The happy wooyoung was doing his victory dance and singing he got Yeosang in trouble. Whilst holding Mingi, he happens to be the closest thing wooyoung grabbed.

The next day…

Today 15:00

Mingi🦄: Erm anyone seen Yeosang! He has been dead quiet since Eomma found out…

Jongho🍎: The punishment must be bad…but thanks to him…he can finally stop spying on us!

San🐱: Wooyoung! What you did was low!! YOU MADE YEOSANG CRY AND NOW HE REFUSED TO LEAVE APPA SIDE! MY APPA TIME!

Wooyoung🐈‍⬛: Very funny San…Yeosang is not like you! Who sulks when he get into trouble!

Yunho🐶: Yeah sure…definitely not getting babied whatsoever…

Seonghwa🌸: Hongjong? Can you please tell Yeosang, to stop crying! I’m not mad at him…I know it is an accident

Jongho🍎: WHAT!? Why is yeosang is getting away with it! When we do something, deep clean the whole house!

Wooyoung🐈‍⬛: San might actually be right…this is new…

Hongjong🏴‍☠️: I told you hwa! Not to yell at him! You know how he gets scared and I’m giving him cotton candy therapy

Seonghwa🌸: I didn’t yell at him! I was to say it’s okay! Then he went and find you!

Hongjong🏴‍☠️: Well he kept on mumbling Eomma is gonna yell at me. It breaks my heart to see him like that!

Yeosang🍗: I wasn’t crying…Appa saw me and immediately took away to comfort me. I was just going to the bathroom!

Hongjong🏴‍☠️: Yeosang don’t be shy! We all family here! Your Eomma is in the wrong

Yeosang🍗: Eomma has right to be mad at me! It was an accident that I forgot to clean my chicken mess!

Seonghwa🌸: Wait what? You didn’t break it?

Yeosang🍗: No! I thought you were mad as I made a mess!

Hongjong🏴‍☠️: Shhhh yeosang it’s alright

Yunho🐶: We now know…that Appa and Eomma babies yeosang BIG time!

Seonghwa🌸: I love you all equally…your Appa erm…

Mingi🦄: APPA! You now made San sulk! He refuses to remove himself from the bathroom door! I am now trapped!!

Hongjong🏴‍☠️: Well since Yeosang is fine…I guess I can go back to work…

Seonghwa🌸: No you comeback right now and fix the damage you caused to San! I know how mingi feels to be trapped

Seonghwa🌸: Wait? Who broke my laptop and that baby monitor

Yeosang🍗: It was San and I think Mingi?

Seonghwa🌸: YOU TWO ARE ON CLEANING DUTY FOR A WEEK!

San🐱 + Mingi🦄: THAT NOT FAIR!!

Yunho🐶: Oh wow Eomma really went hard on mingi and San!

[biggie-chcese]

So uh,, what's your thoughts about Viviakou and Kokobolt?

ohhh ok so im of the rare breed that kinda only likes vivakou as a one-sided romance, if a romance at all, because they are so Doomed Yaoi to me.

i think it's very sweet that vivia finds a reason to live because yakou has shown how much he cares. i think yakou looking out for vivia's health is also extremely sweet. but i also just think that Yakou "i threw the entire NDA (including vivia) under the bus, into the heart of enemy territory, with no way to escape the peacekeepers, for a revenge plot" Furio just isn't open to loving anyone romantically other than his dead wife. he'd need a long time to get over her, and he doesn't even live long enough to do it. i like the angst potential. it makes vivia's arc in ch 4 all the more tragic, yet also cathartic when he lets yakou go and helps yuma find the truth.

TD;DR: not a fav, but i 100% understand it and think it's narratively interesting when one-sided on vivia's part.

now onto kokobolt.

ok. look. i get it. i see their gumshoe gabs. i see their bromance. i see desuhiko basically outright saying he'd fuck yuma while yuma is dressed as a high school girl but shhhh details, details and i see why it's popular. but i... i'm a hard neutral on it. like, i like it a little? but for the most part i just kinda feel nothing about them. i think they're at their best in memes and jokes. they're a really solid comedic duo and have a funny, enjoyable dynamic. but i dont care for kokobolt fluff nor do i really see myself enjoying angst of them. like i don't even see them doing the awkward slowburn "i dont wanna ruin our friendship" pining that usually comes with the "best bro friends to lovers" trope because desuhiko would just outright ask yuma if he could hit. which he has already done in canon. the only slowburn would just be yuma saying no thanks until eventually he just says "sure whatever you can hit." like, yuma may be a cringefail loser, but he could do better.

TL;DR: neutral on them but i get it. they're funny tho.

[imperfectnothing]

( scampers in here ) i give you some wholesome ( when you ignore the blood haha ) yami art as an apology for making nyx have a bit of a meltdown and in advance as for what im going to do with yami’s story . . i mean . it won’t be that bad . . not as bad as others, but it will be . kind of . bad . yea . ( slowly walks out the door )

( shhhh i really didn’t highlight the thing wrong your hallucinatinggg . also . special talent reveal ! ! i think dian would be proud 😁 )

Awwww oh gosh she really does look so cute, Apri!! I love the ominous "smile! you're on camera" next to Yami, btw, it's both very funny and pretty threatening. So, get back here, you goober, let me give you a hug. I'll say that this inspired me to finally start on the Yami art my brain has been cooking on for a while so thank you doubly for that heh.

You don't need to apologize for Nyx's meltdown haha. Frankly, it was a really fun way to explore his character but not only that, he's mostly angry with himself and his helplessness, to be honest. I am both scared and super excited to see what you end up doing with Mimi's story, I will admit.

Dian would definitely be proud of his Mimi's acting ability. He would be sad to know that it's more of a self defense mechanism (after all, you call it masking) than it is an actual passion for the art but he is not going to be the person who doesn't acknowledge his daughter's skill.

[corrodedcoughin]

Omg thanks to your "Eddie throws himself a funeral party" post I literally cannot stop thinking about Stripper! Steve. (absolutely no pressure to do anything with this btw! I'm just aaaa! at your idea)

Like omg. Did Steve get into stripping bc he got cut off and disowned by his parents and desperately needed any job that would take him? Did he seek the job out bc he thought it'd be fun? Why should he be ashamed of exercising, entertaining, looking hot, dancing, and then getting paid to do it??? Fuck yeah

Side note the image of best friend Robin stealing a pair of Steves clean tearaway pants bc she wants to know what it's like to rip them off is very funny to me. She has them on over her jeans. She's had a glass or two of wine and is standing in the middle of Steve's living room awkwardly trying to rip off a pair of tearaway pants that are far too big for her

AHAHHA!!! Please come join me!!! There’s enough stripper Steve for everyone! Funny story Robin actually got the call handler job first through a college friend but obviously platonic soul mates cannot be separated so Steve applied for a job there too. He wasn’t fussy about position, just handed his CV in and hoped he’d get to keep working with Robin.

The employers took one look at Steve when he came into the office and told him he has hired. As a stripper. He took a moment to adjust but thought if it means he gets to work with Robin, he’d do it. (That’s what he tells people, the truth is the ego stroke at the immediate job offer was enough to sway him. He thought it would be a fun job and he was tired of retail).

And Robin plays with ALL the stock! She’s got horrendously ugly nipple tassels that she stuck to Steve’s chest and they both ended up almost crying trying to take them off him without waxing his chest (Robin tears might have been from laughter shhhh). She’s got a feather boa that she loves and wears in the office because she feels it gives her a ‘better phone voice’ nobody’s argued with her yet.

As soon as Steve finished any gig he’s on the phone to her, giving her the run down of any drama or funny stories. She gets a little worried when she doesn’t hear back after the Munson party, tries to call the person who booked and gets Eddie on the phone ‘hello, Eddie’s fun funeral, Gareth speaking’ and Robin thinks she must have the wrong number, she must have written something down wrong but all her records tell her she’s right???

‘Hi. Um…im sorry, this is going to sound so insensitive and im so sorry but…did you hire a male stripper for your event?’ Robin is smacking herself in the face as she says it. Knows she’s going to get in trouble from her manager

‘Sure is! Can’t spell funeral without fun! He’s a little busy with the man of the hour though’ she can hear laughter and loud music through the receiver. Steve is stripping at a funeral, for the dead guy?

‘Ummm I’m sorry but I don’t think company policy allows for stripping for corpses. I’m going to have to refund your booking. Please send Steve back’ Robin is way out of her depth. What the fuck is going on? How did she let this happen?

‘Ah no dude he’s alive, very alive by the looks of things. And sos your employee. I dont know who’s having a better time to be honest’ Gareth sounds sane but Robin doesn’t know if she can really make that call over the phone for a guy who books strippers for funerals where people aren’t dead.

[mellsfern]

SAGE REYES (She/They)

Presenting my new OC, which (as per my toxic artist habit of making a new OC for every new hubby/wifey/babe addiction) was made as a spark of inspiration and some few asks made to @in-your-dreams-vn

But shhhh! Dont let Kraken know that I plan to give Traum and Lynde a very tired costumer service worker, bc I think its funny AF

Instances/Interactions that drove me to choose this type of OC:

Lynde, in their office while having a session with Sage: And how was your sleep schedule this week?

Sage: Sleep is for the weak...

Lynde, sighing: Sage, d-dear, we talked about this... you have to keep a healthy or even more sleep schedule

Sage: Tell that to my manager. Last time he asked me to cover a mf after a 10 hr shift, didnt sleep more than 30 min that day...

Lynde, writing in their notes: [To do: Kill manager in sleep] I see...

-.- .. … … / - …. . / - …. . .-. .- .--. .. … -

Lynde: so you havent been avoiding him/me sleep.

Sage: Ofc not, sleep to me is like paradise. Except for that weird ass goat being who comes to me often...

Lynde: I-Im sure its just a part of your subconscious need t-to have someone wi-with you...

Sage: ... But a goat? Its weird even for me, tho.

Lynde: D-do you not like... t-the "goat"?

Sage: Nah, its weird bc he insists in some kind of relationship with me even tho its a fraction of my imagination...

Lynde: W-would... y-you rather it be another person?

Sage, answering looking away: With the options that I have... maybe not.... Im not sure....

Lynde: ... So you are...

Sage: What?

Lynde: N-nothing...

..-. ..- -.-. -.- / - …. . / --. --- .- - / -- .- -. --..-- / … .-- . . - .. .

[noiselessbuck]

asking about the good version of the sequel trilogy that lives in your brain

HI YES

ok so my favorite sw movie is the force awakens because it caused me to have such a great idea for the rest of the series which never happened but shhhh it did

the main idea is that you can, by letting finnpoe exist, parallel a bunch of stuff to the original series but also more fun than that so we have:

- first off more time on reys home planet (i read the whole lil companion book about her chilling there) i'm not immune to Nausacaä coded characters

- poe has his tv canon backstory as a pilot instead of changing it to be racist

rey and finn things:

- finn and rey are like hinted at as oo are they gonna be together

- finn does actually get to say and fully use his force sensitive powers

- he and rey have like force-spidie sense on each other

- around the time when they are saving the hurt and angry sandworm thing is where finn's force sensitivity powers and shown and shows a lot of their force connection

- at a time after saving said sandworm thing finn and rey like either are egged on by someone or do think the other has a crush (possibly a weird singular kiss) and then! they both go um no thanks not romantic. but also- you're my force soulmate and my best friend. and then they're in a force-QPR thereafter

- after this poe is all like very quickly relieved and happy for them

rose things:

- listen listen rose and finn are thee ultimate "attempt at being straight before we both realize we are not" thing

- still have the most awkward kiss ever

- rose gets a cool gf (i dont know side characters names)

- both rose and finn are concerned about telling the other it's not gonna work out and then are relieved

- then they're chilling friends and she gets to be in the third movie doing cool stuff

finnpoe things:

- finn poe co-captains jacket scene is more romantic

- after a big scary fight they kiss

- i really want there to be parallels specifically to "a kiss for good luck" to hint reyfinn and then also smth similar to leia and han's endor scene with finnpoe of like what i thought you liked her? no dude im her soulmate, you're who im in love with

aro rey vs kylo stuff:

- more rey roasting kylo for having his shirt off and shit

- kylo being all like there's something special between us please join my facism 🥺 and rey going nope i have a force soulmate you're a force pain in the ass

- zero reylo kissing

- they can team up for the last part with the force sharing lightsabers thing but it would only show that rey has turned him (ps the final fight sucks ass and would be different but not solid ideas what it would be)

other things:

- rey would only ever be related to random trader civilians none of this granddaughter bullshit because power via lineages is the patriarchy fuck that we need Just some guy who is a girl representation

- the scene where rey fights evil!rey would one, semi mirror luke fighting spectral darth vader and two

- SHE WOULD MAKE THE FOLDING DOUBLE SABER

- like im sorry but you can reject the evil version of yourself and still take notes on saber construction

- leia would only almost die she's actually gonna die and also only have the death scene be whatever CGI stuff

- kylo would still kill han bc that shit was funny

- the cool girl who led a stormtrooper rebellion and rides space horses will NOT be related to lando because what the fuck. rey being lukes granddaughter is one thing but- 2/3 of the black character in this fucking Galaxy are related? fuck no. she would still be cool and get more scenes and maybe she can be rose's girlfriend

- leia has the force uses lightsabers more and her lightsaber should be pink specifically because when carrie fisher was asked what color it would be that's what she said

- kylo needs to be more stupid and more just anything that would stop people from thinking he's cool hot and edgy. ofc this is nigh impossible but just more things similar to the "kylo ren the middle schooler" twitter account

- more animals!! and more animal interactions like the ice foxes

- name the porgs something else🤦

- make all the bad guy ships more interesting looking instead of just- the same thing but larger, unLess that element is played up for comedic effect more

- the kid at the casino stables who gets a shot showing they can use the force is the black kid

that's everything i can think of right now yee ill rb with more if i think of it

[sapphicblight]

3, 13, 41, 49 and 50 please? Love your writing and would love to know more 💖💖💖

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

insecurity is a big one i’d say. it’s one of my favorite topics to read about in fics too so naturally it made its way into my writing. we’re not gonna look too deeply into how that relates to my own insecurities and journey into learning to love myself, shhhh. crying is also a theme too, because i want my characters to suffer but i also want them to be able to let it out, give them that release shdjfg

as for smut specific details, crying is once again a thing?? ok sure 😅 and overstimulation too, even in the v first smut i ever wrote (your body’s a tether), though the first time i properly went in on that was for eat bathe (make) love where the entire second and third chapter pete is just overstimulated to hell and back. sorry buddy sdbhf

also — im still learning how to write bdsm and kinda chickened out of realllly exploring it for my past fics, so i just kinda stuck to choking and spanking for most of my vp sex scenes, and in the case of intrinsically i actually kind of regret that (the spanking especially, in hindsight i just don’t think it fits the tone and what the characters would do / need right then) 

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore?

ooooh shit i actually rly need to think about this one. idk does abo count? shdnjfk i used to read it sort of almost accidentally, not really realizing what i was getting into with that till much later, back when i used to read a lot of sterek fanfiction (and some destiel too). very occasionally an author will do a lot of legwork with worldbuilding and sell me on it for that fic specifically, but in general i havent been into abo or mpreg themes (not counting a ftm trans character in that — the thing i dislike reading is mpreg that can’t occur irl) for a few years now.

i also used to be more into aus that had nothing to do w canon, like high school aus and (for stuff like merlin) modern aus, which is funny bc i wrote a college au and am now writing a historical au w luna, but i never said i wasn’t a hypocrite hdnjgh — but yeah nowadays i almost exclusively read canon-compliant, canon-divergent, or post-canon fics. i came here for these characters in this setting usually, so then that’s what i seek more of 🤷‍♀️

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

oooh there are MANY. there are some authors whose writing styles have my brain zooming with envy but mostly just so much appreciation and enjoyment. some of my very favorites tend to be angsty fics, and angst is just my go to vibe and genre to read, so while i have many favorites that are more happy or humorous, i'm going to specifically shout out two of the angstiest pete-centric ones that made my chest ache with emotion as i read them: milk teeth by constitutiondumpstat; and only the heart knows. by evashougouki (i still havent gotten around to their recent 20k words pete fic nothing. that i just know is going to break me so good. i rly need to get on that asap but consider this a pre-emptive shoutout to that for probably changing my brain chemistry once i read it as well)

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it! 

ohoho well for snippets of the prohibition au i recommend checking luna’s twitter or tumblr, she’s posted a few already! 

so instead i’ll post a slightly redacted snippet from the 4th chapter of my mobwife au (‘ultraviolet disguise’, a canon-divergent au where pete never got recruited as bodyguard but ends up caught up in mafia bullshit anyway when he starts dating a mafia don named ‘hwan’ who vegas has been trying to take down for a while now)

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about! 

hmmmm. i think i’ll take this opportunity to grab question 48 (What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?) and plug @lu-sn’s discotheque rouge which just got a second chapter that makes me want to live inside her specific brand of post-canon vegaspete 💕 

[blkkizzat]

Haiiii babes!!!! Hope u been well 😙

(Literally just came from rereading plug choso once again to keep it fresh in my brain hehe) istg i love him so bad but….nicki was right, trauma is the way. Him sharing that blunt with gouda bitch has me steaming every time smh. I would fuck cho infront of her but she dont deserve to see the dickk!

Venus in gemini and mars in aries HELP HSJKSKSK NO OKAY U and toji would be so good for each other 😭 yall can play games and he drag u back in so u dont get too bored hehe. My mars is in leo and my good friend studies astrology and she deadass do be saying thats the corruption kink placement hehe, plus i got some virgo in there too so my shit is obsesseddddd with corrupting purity whoops (and obsessive + possessive AF like i wanna be someone's first and their everything) which is so true cause i be fucking with ppl to make em obsessed with me and ion even want them jdksks. I js cant do virgin reader bc i have a SA trauma which sucks bc there are so many virgin reader fics and i gotta sit em out which is why i flock to shit like otaku!gojo where the man is a virgin like that heals me so much u have no idea lmao (even tho this pussy can squirt by itself, i would show virgin gojo all the tricks hehe) Yes ma'am i do fuck w astrology, and recently tarot a lil bit 👀 got me a lil reading and erthing hehe

Tbf i dont feel like u have a truly irredeemable character because they all have some sort of bg story (okay lets ignore reader from gf!choso literally killing a man bc DAMN when i say the dialogue you gave him had me stressing tf out, like i almost had an angry cry when he was airing out shit at the party. The bat scene from there was so iconic tho) like even plug choso, reader is a brat but i rlly feel like its bc shes an overachiever which i vibe w soooo hard. She's the definition of "honey u need to get some dick and RELAX" bc she trying to do it all and none of it is for herself. Im similar so i see her bratiness as a defense mechanism iykwim. Ngl the ending of pt 2 had me scared bc like i can dish it out, but i cant take it LMAOOOOOO like choso shared a blunt w some other bitch and i was already in tears istg he gon have to make that up to me smh. YESSSSSSS i love with the characters are still downbad for the reader even when she's a bitch like, thats the kinda ride or die i wantttt.

I feel u bc i cant do angst that effects the reader lol.

Guestprofessor yooooo i love that dynamic!!! I rarely read gojo (or geto too) bc i rarely find a version of him that doesnt turn his charisma into fuckboyness like it just aint for me, but w.e the girlies enjoy :p

Ohhh i do need to check out those websites even tho i have nowhere to go rip. I love me a gown but they almost never reach past my shins 💀 got that damn amazoness genetic smh

LMFAOOO ur so real for that. Tbh cho could be a virgin and id still talk to him like a two dollar hoe 😭

Sending u all the good vibes frrrrr its always fun chatting w u too kali babes 😚

🍒 anon

Awe you are so sweet reading it again. I hope I can get the next part out tonight for u, I’m getting 2 people to read so once they are done I will make changes and post. 

LMFAO im crying cause you are like the 3rd person who told me that part had them heated. But hehe funny you should mention fucking him in front of her…. *shhhh*

Yeah no I would need the games to keep me interested lmfao. Oooh corruption kink!  you know until Choso I never had one of those but I just want to ruin him dskhfkjhdkHSa. But relatable, sometimes you just flirt because you can LOL

Oh no, im so sorry to hear about your SA trauma. I completely understand. While I don’t necessarily have drama, I think another reason I lean towards bimbo!reader is I don’t like how society places a woman’s value on virginity. It’s a totally different thing that wanting to be someone’s first or even corrupting, cause im into those kinks too. I don’t like when it seems like the whole value of them is their virginity if it makes sense. 

I actually own a tarot deck too! But I haven’t studied it enough to do it on my own. I’ve had mine done by friends before though!

Lmfao yeah gf!choso reader is also a bit crazy, when I eventually do the p3 to that, it will go into more of how she doesn’t have bloodlust like choso, and actually wants him to slow down a bit so he doesn’t get caught (gf!choso finds himself not needing to kill as much bc he has reader as a stress release). But she doesn’t have qualms with blood or the fact he’s a serial killer lolol. She kinda slow lowkey lolol. Her mind: “killing is bad. But I love Choso and he loves me so Choso is good too.” I mean she joined his major cause she watched Dexter so she aint the brightest bulb. jhdfkhdskjfhsd. <3 Unlike plug!choso sorority bimbo tho, she is never ashamed of Choso and wants him to come to frat parties as her date (which he reluctantly goes to because he’s whipped and jealous as all hell). Ahhh I rambled about this too much lol

Oooh how tall are you if you don’t mind me asking? Im 5’7 and some of the gowns I got from there drag a bit so maybe you’d have more luck with them!

Mwahhmwahhh babes <3333

[for-fvckssake]

"I'll take you every day. you and the toy? don't know about that," his dominant arm moves to wrap around your midsection, securing you against his chest as he adjusts his legs so you didn't slip into the water.

"im a little naked right now and there's some dude on top of me," ren laughs at your joke, shoulders shaking up and down before his lips touch the top of your head. he leaves a few kisses there, nuzzling into your hair and inhaling the soft, familiar scent of vanilla that always seems to exude out of you.

it takes a few for him to talk again —the sweet smell invading his nostrils and taking hold of his nervous system, putting him in an almost trance-like calmness— and when he does, his voice comes out in a flirty, playful purr, "none taken. i am pretty big all over, baby. i know that. now, shhhh."

he covers your eyes and pushes the back of your head against his chest, lips finding your temple to give you just one more kiss before you both drift off.

—

eren wakes up with a shiver as he sat on what once was a warm, relaxing bath. he didn’t know how much time had passed but it clearly was more than enough to have cooled all of the many gallons of water that surrounded the two of you. "ugh, fuck," he curses quietly, very much aware of your still sleeping form on top of him before another shiver runs up his spine. he clearly didn’t think this through.

he uses his foot to slowly raise the drain, feeling the water empty the tub before using a towel to wrap around you. eren nuzzles against your cheek, slightly chapped lips leaving kisses on your cheek in a way to wake you up slowly, "wake up, pretty boy. lets get you changed and warmed up, cmon."

ren manages to get out of the tub with you in his arms —bridal style— and make his way back to the bedroom, where he lays you down on the bed and moves away to grab some clothes for the two of you.

-Rennie <3333333

“mmm… yeah yeah, ‘m up m up.” i sigh out, curling further into your chest as i’m lifted out of the now chilly water with a shudder, before i grab the edge of the towel to wipe my nose.

“yeah, don’t wanna move though, you dress me, but don’t try anythin funny.” i him hum out, curling into a ball under the towel with a whine.

“gimme somethin of yours, and warm… and clean, after that one time i should probably clarify that.” i huff out, eyes peeking over the fluffy fabric at you before stretching my leg out and gently kick you in the thigh, but barely even able to reach you so it’s more of a nudge with my toes.

[what-the-stark]

@gildinbainas​ from x

Charles rolled over in bed, setting his book aside as he fumbled for his phone. The light glow had him frowning slightly because who in the world would be sending him messages at this hour? Surely not Hank, for they usually communicated via telepathy and he highly doubted it was one of his 'old friends'. The curiosity alone was enough for him to make an effort at reaching for the phone, eyes rolling when he saw message pop up.

Really, Stark?

He started to leave it on read. It certainly would serve him right, but then the part of him that knew what it was like to get dumped kicked in. Sometimes Charles hated that side of himself; the side that cared far too much about other people's well being, but welp. It wasn't something he could turn off --- not entirely. God only knows he would if he could.

( 📩 → marc antony ): really  stark? what are we? sixteen? ( 📩 → marc antony ): i dont think i've ever done the 'netflix and chill' thing  ( 📩 → marc antony ): i have done the 'lets have a few drinks so we can blame it on the alcohol in the morning' thing tho ( 📩 → marc antony ): but you shouldn't be drinking [ unsent ] ( 📩 → marc antony ): neither should I for that matter [ unsent] ( 📩 → marc antony ): you'll have to do better than that if you want me to roll out of bed and drive to stark tower this late

Blinking slowly at his phone, Tony squinted until the screen blurred and finally blinked again, even more slowly when the image didn’t change. Nope, still there.

Well, shit.

“J, how could you.” Staring accusingly at the camera overhead, Tony rolled over in bed, closing his eyes with a groan as the world kept moving even after he’d stopped. “This is just intentionally cruel and unusual punishment. Hazing, even. I’m lodging a formal complaint. With myself.”

“I’m certain I don’t know what you’re referring to, Sir,” Jarvis replied primly, reproach somehow evident in his tone even when it wasn’t. “I believe what you told me when I attempted to remind you about the Pepper Protocol was: “Shhhh, Daddy’s busy. Mute for 10 minutes, starting now.”

SHIT.

Okay. So he’d managed to booty text the most powerful psychic in the world while trying to reach his ex, exquisitely drunk, no big deal. He’d done worse. Considerably worse. Right? He couldn’t actually think of anything worse at the moment, but he was pretty sure 30 seconds and YouTube would prove the point.

Damage control was kind of a lost cause at this point, so might as well run with it. Never let it be said that Tony Stark didn’t speak (type) his mind.

( 📩 → Akinator ): so, funny story, i’m drunk ( 📩 → Akinator ): an Jarvis is bein mean to me ( 📩 → Akinator ): u r definitely not pepper ( 📩 → Akinator ): still hot, but in a non-pep way ( 📩 → Akinator ): oops, out loud voice ( 📩 → Akinator ): can u read minds on the phone? ( 📩 → Akinator ): not important. important thing is ( 📩 → Akinator ): what im reading here is not a no

[dream-to-be-frog]

sasha being like we should quit, y’know. we all should. i don’t think this is a normal job—i don’t think this is a SAFE job.

and jon is like you’re probably right. and then, do you want to quit?

no. im just .toonsamn cirious i suooose.u

no.jwysverevers goingnon ni nneednto kkow

[r0-boat]

TAKE 2 IM ON DESKTOP NOW HA HA

Helloooo~ it's me, ya girl Rouge, back here once again, with the Chaotic Inner Workings of my Mind +｡ﾟφ(ゝω・｀○)+｡ﾟ

🔞🔞🔞

Today I woke up giggling, thinking about how hilarious and hot that one idea on here was. The idea of Volo getting dicked down and given the taste of pussy and becoming a normal person.

Volo, the man trippin' on divine madness & revenge for the cruelty the world has done to him, uncovering the truth about the higher beings of the world and wanting to usurp that power for his own.... all while the sheeple continue worshiping lesser gods. This dude gets his pipes snaked and a good blowjob and all that is gone and he turns into an average joe.

"Hi, welcome to the Ginko Mart. Thank you for shopping with us today! Did you find everything okay? Would you like a receipt? :) /genuine"

he wouldn't still be with ginko after all That but shhhh its funny

——————————

uhhh I think the og idea was Volo/Reader/Ingo??

Warden Ingo pounding away at Volo's ass while you're sitting on his face. Volo is thoroughly enjoying it all and everyone's having a grand time. You lean back and catch Ingo's eyes and convey a message to him with just a single look. He nods. Message received and he's on board. One hand from each of you grasps Volo untouched dick and start pumping in unison, perfectly timed with Ingo's thrusts.

Volo, you wanted to meet Arceus to badly?? Well here you go. Here's your one way ticket. He's dying. Absolutely wrecked from the sensations and over stimulation. Goodbye Volo.

——————————

Then!! I remembered another part that added onto this idea that was like Volo/Reader/Ingo/Adaman?? Very Nice but That's too many bodies for me to count I failed math class once I'm not capable of juggling that many people. goodbye ingo. you just had your turn get out of here

Volo/Reader/Adaman

Adaman really wasn't too fond of Volo at first :/ After all the shit he did and caused? Mmmm no thanks

But you, his dear Y/N, was so determined to reach out to Volo and forgive him, Adaman caved. "Alright, if you're fine with him I guess we can try and fix him. He is kinda hot ngl like DAMN"

Adaman goes full Clan Leader on Volo's ass. He's had practice dealing with brats, he can tame this tall blonde man. Anytime Volo brings up the past, Arceus or any type of negative thoughts...Adaman or you (or both) start making out with him. Getting him nice and riled up...

Volo gets chained up. Shackles on the wrists, pinned to the wall. Not allowed to touch himself or you two. But that's not the end of it. No no... this is just the beginning.

Adaman makes direct eye contact with blondie, points and says "Stay there and watch me fuck our partner. You're staying there until you've learned your lesson."

Volo has to stay there, untouched, no sensations, no friction, as his two loves have a romp so close in front of him. in the beginning, it took you and Adaman several rounds for Volo to break, begging to join, promising to release the past and accept your forgiveness. Just please, please let him touch you guys.

You and Adaman grin at each other and immediately go to Volo. Caressing and praising over every inch of his body.

Who needs heaven when it's right here? Goodbye Arceus.

——————————

IM NOT DONE YET

I had. another idea!! That absolutely no one wants!! (except for me)

Volo/Reader/Melli

this is where the app restarted itself on me after checking a discord ping. not even tumblr wants me to share this but I will not be silenced!!! Y'all got food up top lemme have this! i swear to the gods if my pc randomly crashes here--

Ok ok so we have two TALL men who are kind of similar but also very different

Volo worked hard, discovered the truth about the world and attempted to subjugate Arceus in order to destroy and recreate a new world to his liking. He states his story ended when he was defeated atop Spear Pillar, but still swears he will get Arceus no matter how long it takes. This man wants to be a god.

Meanwhile Melli, likes to think he's a god amongst the mortals. With his arrogance believing everyone should be honored to be in his presence. this is the man who regularly gets into arguments with children btw

......Yeah so your role in this relationship, dear Reader-chan, is to keep them balanced and grounded. These two boys need Lots of attention.

Usually it's always two on one person. You and Melli fucking the pain away and assisting Volo towards a more healthy positive mental state.

You and Volo flustering the hell out of Melli. Aight bet. You wanted to be treated like royalty? Here you fucking go. Oh you crying? It's too much? Wasn't this what you wanted? 🤷‍♂️ The great Melli can't handle all this love??

Volo and Melli working together on YOU? Goodbye dear reader. Farewell. You're seeing Arceus again but they're gonna smh my head and send you back down to Hisui.

——————————

cries i had more to add onto that part but then i got angry at losing all this work. and my pea brain can only hold onto one thought at a time

I don't even know when i'm writing a long post, i just Talk and if turns into prose or several pages long i don't really notice or read back LMAO send tweet

∾ 【 Rouge Anon 】

OKG ROUGE YOU MAD MAN

Now please consider

The duo that will fuck your guts into mush.

Volo x reader x Emmet

Rip your holes because all of them are getting used and abused. And it only gets worse as the night goes on. Volo rams your behind making you choke and deep throat Emmet. Emmet knows what volo is doing and slams hard back into your mouth, force fucking you on volos cock. Each movement has animalistic desire.

[thoughts-of-a-trying-tree]

marry me

word count: 2712

warning(s): references to fics i've never written, cursing, dialogue heavy, and my brand of self-indulgence (also the word uwu is said. im so sorry)

Read on AO3

-----------------------------------------------

"Peach, toss me the wrench, would you?" Clang! "Thanks, and also the—" Clang! "Oh, yep, that's better actually." Bzzzzzzzt. "Perfect, marry me." Thwack! "I meant thank you!"

'*'*'*'

"Harleyyyy! HAAARLEEEEEYYYY!"

"What? Where's the invasion?" Slap!

"Pick your stupid fuckin' socks up! Tits and their respective gods, I have to do everything around here and there ain't no pay in New York Cit-ay."

"You could always marry me for tax benefits if you're that worried—"

"And pick your stuff up for the rest of my life? I would rather eat my shirt. Better not see anything in the lab!"

"Mhm."

"..."

"…"

Wham! "Harley Fuckin' Keener, why did you leave YOUR socks on MY stuff? Stop laughing!"

'*'*'*'

"Babe. Fox News thinks we're married."

"Fox News? Hell the why?"

"We are, ahem, and this is beautifully written, 'promoting an ideal of relationship that does not prioritize the continuation of the human race nor its wellbeing and,' get this, 'are worse than the aliens invading New York.'"

"I thought they agreed not to call them that, now that we have so many extraterrestrials on Earth? 'Cause it's offensive, right?"

"Is that really the first question you have? Not even the implication that our marriage would be worse than the Chitauri?"

"I mean, I'm down if you're down, peach."

"Down bad? Down under?"

"Why not both? Ahem! Peter Middle Name Parker—"

"Everyone knows my middle name, get off the floor—"

"—will you make me the most horribly selfish man in the world—" Sniff. "—and marry me?"

"Oh my God. You're ridiculous. Get off the floor."

"Is that a yes?"

"I would rather marry DUM-E for their intelligence."

"Hey!"

'*'*'*'

"So I've been thinking—"

"Should I call an ambulance?"

"Omigod, you're so funny aha, marry me uwu—"

"Alright, get on with it."

"I've been thinking—stop it—I was thinking—"

"Spit it out!"

"You won't let me!"

"Fine, I'll shut up."

"I've been. Thinking."

"...And? Go on?"

"…"

"…"

"I forgot!" Snicker.

"No. For real?"

"Yeah! Fuck you!"

"Please, that's the most you thing ever!"

"It's all your fault!" Whack! "If you had just shut up!" Whack! "This wouldn't!" Whack! "Have happened!"

'*'*'*'

"So when are you two getting married?"

"Haha! Can't say we have plans for that, huh Harls?"

"Ha, no, guess we can't! I mean, would you marry me, Peter Parker?"

"Haha, don't be so funny, Harls! Maybe after we've finished all the restoration work we can answer silly questions about our personal lives that no one should have an investment in, right Harley?"

"Yeah. I was expecting a little better, Peter." Click-click-click-click shhhh.

"T-that's a wrap! Thank you Peter Parker and Harley Keener for coming to represent the Stark Relief Fund and Stark Industries! Stay tuned for an interview with Shuri on behalf of King T'Challa of Wakanda after the break!"

'*'*'*'

"The charity ball has us down as Harley and Peter Parker."

"Oh, that's good. One thing off the list. Pass me the fluid, please?" Clink. "Thanks."

"No, they have us down as Harley and Peter Parker."

"Yeah? What's wrong?"

"They have us down as a couple. As in Harley Parker and Peter Parker."

"Your name sounds so weird with mine."

"Rude and not even the point, peach."

"No, I mean like. Different." Whirrrrrrrrr click! "As if you'd take my name anyway."

"Hey! I don't have that big of an ego. Besides, would you take mine?"

"Sure, I guess. It's my first name that matters, right?"

"Nah, because I wouldn't want to ruin your little alliteration. Was that what you were going for when you picked Peter anyway?"

"Shut up."

"Wait, actually? Ow! For real? Ack! Why is that such a transgender and you thing to do, you absolute idiot, OW, marry me!"

"Too late babe, according to the guest list, we've been there, done that."

"Mhm, but if we don't want to ruin the alliteration, we can't do a hyphenated name either, so maybe we could combine them or something? Like... Pareener?"

"Ew. That sounds like a vacuum brand."

"Parkner?"

"Why are we even having this conversation?"

"Uh. Hm. Oh! Charity ball, cross it off the list."

"Right. What else is on the list?"

"Our wedding—"

"Don't annoy a man with a scalpel in his hand!"

"Why the FUCK do you have a scalpel?"

"Tinkerin' the toys, honey."

"Fingerin' the—Ow!"

'*'*'*'

Peter stood like a bird on a branch, shaking and yet, perfectly still. Watching Harley walk towards him had eased the beating of his heart, but now it was swelling and pulling him into the sky with it, though through anxiety or elation, only time would tell. He drew in a breath and willed himself to stay still. Harley took his hands in his and stared into Peter's eyes, beaming.

An excited voice. "Do you, Peter Benjiman Parker—" Ned crashed into Peter from behind.

"Dude! There's this ginormous hologram of you in the middle of the floor!"

"Ned, you fucking stole my thunder!" Harry groaned, throwing an arm over Harley's shoulders. "Pause and rewind. Do you, Peter, have a clue of how big these people think you are? Well, my friend, allow me to show you!" Harry grabbed Peter's elbow and steered everyone through the legs of a white A in the colossal STARK EXPO sign in front of the tower. Peter found Harley's hand again as he ducked through, and immediately tightened his grip as he made eye contact with a giant hologram. Of himself.

"Holy fuckin' shit. I'm huge." Harley snickered.

"For once, you're taller than me." Peter shoved him, laughing.

"I'm not done growing! And FYI, tall people are assholes so—"

"Peter!" Tony Stark jogged towards him, flashes of light trailing behind him.

"Mr. Stark!"

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I just choked on the world. But I think I'm ready."

"Good, because Harley can do the Heimlich, and you're up in ten."

"My cans–?"

"Behind the forehead section of the audience. Get 'em, kid."

"Will do, Mr. Stark." Harley took both of his hands again and Peter turned to face him.

"You got this. You've practiced your ass off and planned out a show like no one's ever seen." Peter resisted the urge to laugh. If only he knew. "You're amazing. You're gonna do amazing."

"Thanks Harls."

"I love you, peach."

"Love you, too."

"Now go show this crowd what they're been missing out on." Peter pressed his lips quickly to Harley's and practically skipped to the backstage area, which was really more underneath the stage.

Time passed like frozen honey until, finally, someone called his name. "Peter Parker, up now." He walked up the coordinator, who smiled down at him. "Good luck, honey."

"Thank you."

He shook out his hands, channeled his inner Tony, and ran up onto the stage, grinning wide like he didn't have a care in the world. His heart raced at the size of the crowd as it cheered for him, and his eyes landed on Harley. He nodded at him, and Peter slid to a stop center stage.

"Hello, New York!" The crowd screamed louder, and Peter took his cue. He pressed a button on his earbud, and small black dots rushed out of the blue cans in the back of the room. The crowd went silent before bursting into confusion. The dots raced between their feet and hopped over their shoes, some breaking off their streams and crawling to the ceiling and covering the chandelier. The dots on the ground gathered around Peter, and then came together and formed a hand.

The chandelier flashed red and blue. The dots fell off like raindrops and connected with the hand on stage, revealing that the chandelier was now in a completely different design, and the crowd gasped. Peter wiggled his fingers at the crowd, and the hand on stage followed suit.

"Hello, New York," he called again. "I'm here today for three different reasons. The first?" He grinned, almost wolf-like. "I think the tower needs some renovating, don't you?" The dots making the hand – microbots, now everyone could tell – fell in a crash and surged to the wall near the stage, forming a black box across it.

Everything went still.

Then they fell through the metal and plaster, revealing empty space, and the microbots moved through seemingly nothing – until they moved farther out and left new floors, ceilings, and walls in their wake.

"Welcome to the new addition to the Stark Tower. Would anyone like a tour?"

It all went perfectly. Rooms Peter described appeared in front of astonished eyes in seconds, before the black mass moved on ahead of them. The separate rooms were furnished, and refurnished as Peter playfully designed them, and he explained on the tour what the bots were.

"3D printers. Armed with magic – although a friend would say that on Asgard, magic and science are one and the same – and Wakandan technology. Combined, they form a future we never thought possible. Skyscrapers built in minutes without error or human endangerment. Imagine a world where your dream house is exactly how you imagine it. Imagine a world where renovations take the time it takes you to have a cup of tea."

By now, the crowd and Peter were near the end of the new wing. The bots were finishing up the last wall, the dead end, and Peter turned his back to it.

"I told you I had three reasons for being here. This is one. A new way to build, with lower cost both monetarily and in a human sense. These little guys will be released within six months, with this wing as their final test." The bots had finished and were now forming different animal shapes and moving through the crowd, delighting them with shapeshifting. A little spider rested on Harley's shoulder. "But what's the point of a new wing with nothing to use it for?"

A few of the bot-animals scrambled back to the dead end and shifted through random letters of the alphabet. "That brings me to my second reason." He hesitated dramatically, enjoying the awe of the audience. "Ladies and gentlemen, you are here to witness the launch of the next generation of Stark Expo." The bots fell back and revealed gleaming letters on the wall.

STARK EXPO: UNRESTRICTED

"The Stark Expo has been limiting to young people, people of color, people who don't have the resources for innovation, and more. That changes today." He paused, giving the audience a moment to take everything in.

"Stark Expo: Unrestricted is a unique mix of a nonprofit scholarship program, internship, and expo for anyone who has something to show. Those in New York can apply online at SEUnrestricted at no cost and with no requirements. No restrictions."

"Those outside of New York have an application process also at no cost, in which an essay, the details of which are on all sites connected to Stark-owned organizations, should be submitted. Those chosen will not have to pay a penny to receive the resources of Stark Industries or, if wanted, to come to New York and work side-by-side with the best."

The bots melted back into streams and formed a cruise ship next to him. "It's an all-expenses-paid trip and we can make it happen. Who wants in?" The crowd burst into a shock of loud applause and Peter grinned wildly, letting it die down as the all the bot creations separated and slowly returned to their cans. All but one. His eyes landed on Tony, who cupped his hands around his mouth.

"What's the third thing, Peter?" He yelled. Peter laughed.

"So glad you asked, random citizen!" He took a deep breath. "I couldn't have done all of this alone. Through breakdowns at three a.m. over miniscule details and hours on end locked in the lab with me as I spent all my time not paying attention to anything but these bots, I've never been alone." He started making his way into the crowd, which parted around him.

"As I enter this next chapter in my life, everything will change. But there are some things I hope never do, and so this last reason may be the scariest of all." Peter stopped in front of Harley, and the spider hopped down from his shoulder and formed a thick, spinning O in Peter's hand.

He sank to one knee and Harley took a step back, eyes wide.

"Harley Keener. I never want you to change. I never want to go anywhere or do anything without you. Through the past few years of my life, you have been the brightest point." Peter had a whole script but he could barely remember the words now. "You've asked me this before as a joke, but I've never asked you, and—" He fumbled, nearly tipping over. "God, this is not easy." A couple in the crowd glanced at each other, and the crowd rustled with mirth.

"Harley Keener, I love you with my whole heart and all of my life." The formerly spider bots stopped spinning and skittered into Peter's sleeves, revealing a ring with blue and red stones set into the top of a band with the tell-tale gleam of vibranium.

"Harley Keener—"

"Yes—"

"Let me finish!" The crowd laughed, but neither boy noticed.

"Harley Keener." He was nodding, tears sliding down his cheeks. "Will you make me the most horribly selfish man in the world– " Harley choked out a wet laugh. "–and marry me?"

Harley fell to his knees and pressed his face into Peter's, planting kisses where his tear-streaked face could reach. "Yes, you absolute idiot, I will, I will, I will—" He broke off to kiss him again, and Peter's eyes sparkled with wetness.

"You didn't even put on the ring, Harls," he whispered through kisses.

"Oh!" Harley pulled back and held his hand out, and Peter slid the ring onto his finger. Harley stared for a moment, then looked up at him.

"Do you... like it? Because I tried to find a normal one but I didn't think you'd like any so I thought I could make it and—" Harley interrupted him with a hard kiss.

"I love it. I love you." Peter laughed wetly.

"Okay."

"Okay." The crowd cheered again behind them, and Tony and a few Avengers all started ushering them away. Once the room had cleared, Harry, Ned, and MJ ran in, Ned squealing.

Harley laughed and got off the floor, pulling Peter up with him and picking him up bridal-style.

"You guys knew?" Harley went ignored through all the excitement.

"Peter!" Ned yelled. "You're engaged! To Harley!"

"Yeah!" Peter laughed and curled up into Harley more. He kissed Peter's forehead.

"No," MJ groaned. "You guys are gonna be even grosser than before!" Harry pretended to flick a tear from his eye.

"It's like watching my babies grow up, so sweet." MJ punched Harry's arm, and Ned awkwardly hugged them both.

"I'm so happy for you guys," he sniffed.

"Ned, are you crying?"

"No, it's just allergies, don't worry!" Everyone laughed, and Peter leaned up to kiss Harley.

"We're engaged," he whispered.

"Hell yeah."

'*'*'*'

In the end, it was a small party. Abby was the maid of honor, and Morgan the flower girl. May sat with Tony and Rhodey, and Bucky and Steve were guardian angels, keeping the reporters away and staying within six feet of the happy couple for anything they needed. Thin strips of peaches decorated the top of the cake and, if you looked carefully, seemed to form a spider web and Hello Kitty whiskers. Coincidence, of course.

May cried her eyes out and pretended she hadn't, and Pepper made sure everything went smoothly. Harry, Ned, and MJ sat first row, and if Ned and May were in a competition over who cried the most, the judge would've started sobbing in sympathy.

Harley and Peter had whispered their vows to each other, low and soft so not even Steve with his super hearing could understand them. They were riddled with inside jokes, cracking the other up, and each word was said with such love that both of their hearts felt full afterwards.

"How are you feeling, peach?" The first dance.

"Like I'm holding the world." Inexplicably new.

"I'm holding my world." Inextricably linked.

"And I'm holding mine."

And that love would last forever.