#shes turning out soooo cute im excited

[beanmochiii]

got an aubrey shimeji in the works! itll be ready within the next few days ^_^ ill have a poll about pricing once its done

[mikachacha]

𝙵𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚣𝚎 (𝙱𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)

Synopsis: Bada just couldn't resist after seeing you dance and makes you scream out her name in all the ways she knows how

Warnings: smut. shameless smut. little to no plot. Nsfw so mdni. Please im begging u

(A/N: soooo we're back with these things and we're gonna start 2024 right. Also this is based on the request I got from last year. This is the filthiest story i've ever done 🫠🫠)

╔══ ≪ °❈° ≫ ══╗

Fantasize

╚══ ≪ °❈° ≫ ══╝

💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧

"Oh hey baby! Perfect that you're home right now because.. There's something I wanna do with you." Bada could feel her cheeks heat up as she just came home and the moment she stepped inside the kitchen, she saw you sitting on the counter, dressed in one of those oversized coats with just lingerie underneath and those sexy, sparkly boots that she bought for you on Christmas.

"Oh yeah? And what's that something my pretty baby wants to do?" Bada asks, smirking as you get off the counter and walk towards her. She placed her arm around your waist and pulled you closer to her, an action that made you chuckle and place a soft kiss on her lips.

"Oh you'll find out soon enough, darling. How about you head to the bedroom now and get comfy as you will witness a show fitting for a new year." you told her and Bada could feel her heart racing with excitement at the mention of 'show' since she knows it could mean only one thing.

She headed straight to your shared bedroom and sat on the bed after changing into fresher clothes. She almost jumped when the lights in the room were briefly turned off but then a dim, purple light emitted from the string lights the both of you had installed months prior after moving in together.

"Oh? So you are planning something grand.. I should have expected this." Bada chuckles as you finally showed up. You motioned for her to sit on the chair that you placed in the bedroom earlier and she sat there without complaint. You gave her a cute little smile before setting up your phone to the speaker so you can give Bada this new year gift that you specially crafted for her.

The song began playing and you began giving Bada a lap dance and some strip tease but you made sure that you don't spoil her too much before you could even reach the best part. You could see the excitement and lust in your girlfriend's eyes and you're pretty sure about what's gonna happen once you're done and you've pretty much said, 'fuck it' because you know too well it's gonna be worth it.

When the chorus came, Bada was pretty sure that she just passed away and went to heaven as you stripped all your remaining clothes while dancing on her lap. It was hypnotizing, the way your body moved to the music, the way you were singing along to it, it just awakened something feral deep inside her that she didn't even let you finish the whole routine when she just grabbed you by your hair and kissed you on the lips. It was hot, messy and just full of lust. She didn't pull away until you were both breathless.

"Now you've done it, pretty girl.. Naughty girls like you should be fucked hard and good until those lips could only scream out my name as I make you cum over and over again.." Bada whispered to your ear and just those words sent shivers down your spine and dampness between your legs.

Bada didn't even give you a chance to think of a witty remark as she unceremoniously carried you to the bed and tossed you like you're a stuffed toy. You shoot her a glare and she just smirks as she gets on top of you, pinning your wrists above your head as she claims your lips once more. When she feels that your lips have received enough attention, her kisses begin moving south to your jaw and neck where she placed not so few marks on the otherwise flawless skin.

You were moaning and writhing beneath her at that point. You just want to feel her lips all over your body and her fingers moving in and out of you, preparing you for the good fucking you know you're gonna get. Sensing your impatience, Bada let go of your wrists and held out two fingers in front of you. You could feel your cheeks burning still even though you've done this multiple times already. You shyly took those fingers in your mouth and began to suckle on them, making sure to get them wet enough for what's about to come even though you're pretty sure it wasn't that necessary from how wet you already are.

While Bada got you busy with her fingers, her mouth was busy toying and teasing your nipples, loving how you'd moan against her fingers or try to close your legs but couldn't since she was situated in between. The way your eyes would shut tightly as your back slightly arched whenever her tongue would lick those sensitive buds. She loves seeing you in such a state knowing that she's the reason behind it.

She pulls her fingers out of your mouth and lightly grazes it against your heated skin, going south until it finally reaches between your legs. You felt yourself shiver and you could swear that you blacked out for a second as she worked her fingers inside you while her thumb rubbed circles against your clit. It felt like heaven and hell at the same time.

"Bada, please.." you gasped out and she looked at you, grinning like the devil as her name rolled off your lips with such desperation as you were nearing that sweet, sweet release. Without saying a word, Bada adjusted herself until her head was in level with your crotch. She temporarily pulled her fingers out of you that got you whining so she can place your legs on her shoulders and without a warning, Bada ate you out like she has been starved for weeks and your pussy is her first meal.

Loud moans and whines escape your lips, you couldn't think straight. Your knuckles are turning white from how hard you're just gripping the sheets beneath you. You don't know if you want to push Bada's head away or lock her head between your legs as she continues to have her way. It all soon became too much, your body trembling as you felt waves of pleasure through your veins as your orgasm finally hit. Bada lets you come down from your high before pulling away and sitting up, licking her lips with a smug smirk on her lips.

"Thanks for the meal, baby." she teases and you just shoot her a look as you sit up as well. It was your turn to please her to which you did. You help her undress and worship her, placing kisses on the spots that get her hot and bothered then proceed to eat her out like her pussy's the most scrumptious meal you have ever received in your whole life.

Bada could only moan and grip your hair as she was getting close. It was such a turn on seeing you between her legs with those sparkly boots still on and eating her out like a feast. She could already think of how much she's gonna fuck you until the only thing that comes out of your mouth is her name and loud moans from the pleasure she's gonna give to you.

It didn't take long for Bada to cum and she immediately tells you to lie down on your back as she retrieves the strap on from the drawer and some lube as well. You obediently did what you were told and waited for her to finish your preparations, anticipation already building as you're now entering the main event.

"I'm gonna go slow, yeah? Just tell me when you want me to go faster.." Bada says and you nodded your head, holding on to her free hand while the other was guiding the strap on to your hole. You flinched a bit from how cold the lube felt on initial contact but Bada's thumb has found your clit again, rubbing circles and distracting you that you didn't even notice that she was already fully inside.

True to her words, Bada went slow and steady for you to get used to the feeling. She'd give you kisses, whisper sweet nothing to your ear until you finally told her to go faster and harder to which she complied.

"Fuck! Right there.. Oh shit.. Yes, right there Bada please!" you moaned out loudly as she kept hitting your spot. Bada grabbed one of your legs and put it over her shoulder and began to pound you so hard that you could swear you can see stars and angels, among other things behind your eyes from how good it felt. You were babbling, you were begging, your brain couldn't form any coherent thought except for that hot white pleasure seeping into every fiber of your being. You could feel your orgasm closing in until you couldn't hold it in any longer, her name escaping your lips along with moans as your orgasm crashed into you.

"Feel good, baby?" Bada asks as you calmed down a little and you could only nod. You're breathless and you feel like you're floating in cloud nine as you came twice already.

"Yeah.. Feels so good.." you replied and she places a kiss on your forehead before pulling out. You thought she was done but you were dead wrong. Bada flipped you on your stomach, holding you up by the waist as she entered you once more from behind. Your eyes rolled back as she began fucking you from behind. It felt so good that you don't know what to do other than just grip the sheets and moan out your girlfriend's name. It was wild, it was hot and definitely the best fuck you've ever had with her pulling your hair and sometimes smacking your buttocks as she rails you hard from behind.

You don't know how much time has passed or how many times you came that night. It all felt like a blur that when Bada was finally done with you, you only drank some water and fell asleep immediately with a tired yet satisfied smile on your lips. Bada couldn't help but smile as well as she cleans you up and dresses you in comfortable clothes before finally tucking you in with a kiss on you head.

"I love you, Y/N. So much.." she whispers as she soon falls into a deep slumber, holding you in her arms.

[spirit-jello]

Im gonna fill ur page with requests BUTTTT

Imagine cockwarming gamer bf! while he's on a stream and ur trying ur best not to move

(and failing miserably bcuz everytime you move he pushes deeper inside u just so that u moan and he can humiliate the fuck out of u with millions of ppl watching)

Soooo I didn’t know who you were talking about so I just assumed I could choose my baby~ I hope you enjoy!

You were currently reading something online while your boyfriend was streaming. You were a bit needy, but since he was busy with his game, you decided to help yourself with some spicy stories. 

“Babe, can you come in here for a second?” You heard Gyuvin call out, so you quickly composed yourself and walked into his office. “Hm? Are you done streaming already?” you asked, and froze when you saw his camera was still on.

“No~ but I wanted to show you off! The viewers kept asking about you.” He smiled cheekily, pulling you closer by the waist. You giggled, before letting out a squeak as he started to pull you on his lap. “W-wait baby I can stand” You laughed nervously, not wanting Gyuvin to feel your wetness through the dress because you stupidly decided not to wear panties. You remembered your thought process, ‘easier access for when he’s finished.’ God you hate yourself right now.

“But how are they going to see your cute face?” He pouted, finally getting you to sit down and wrapping his arms around your waist. Luckily(for him not you) he could still easily play his game, so you stayed silent, trying not to squirm too much.

As for him, he didn’t notice at first until he started bouncing his leg in excitement, it going in between your thighs. Now he feels your slick on his pants. At first he started getting flustered, faltering his quick skills for a moment, before smirking at an idea that popped into his head.

Oh dear. You saw his dark eyes through the webcam, and knew you were fucked. Funnily enough, you didn’t think literally. 

“Give us one second viewers~ I have to fix something really quick” Gyuvin grinned, seeming innocent but you knew otherwise.

As soon as he muted and turned off his webcam, he lifted you up slightly and unbuttoned his jeans. “What are you doing??” you squeaked out, feeling his bulge through his boxers.

“More like what were you doing? Were you touching yourself without my permission?” He tsked teasingly, before pulling out his dick. “Baby, we can’t do this! Your viewers would start to worry if you’re gone this long-”

“Who said I was gonna be gone?” He gave a quick peck on your cheek before lining up to your folds, slowly pushing inside causing you to moan softly.

“Your punishment, cutie, is that you’re going to stay still on my cock, and if you even slightly move, I’ll bounce you once or twice. You wouldn’t want the viewers to hear your slutty moans would you?” You looked at him in shock, and a little bit of lust. 

“I’m back, viewers! Just had to troubleshoot some things.” Gyuvin smiled at the camera after turning everything back on, returning to his game.

For the first half, you were pretty obedient. But then you slowly got more flustered as time went on. You’d let out whimpers from time to time, as your pussy would pulse in need without warning.

Without thinking, you squirmed trying to calm yourself down. By the time you realized what you’ve done, it was too late; He acted as if he was just readjusting, when really he gently thrusted up into your special spot. You let out a little ‘eep!’ but luckily you were able to bite back anything more. Meanwhile, the chat has been overflowing with thirsty comments about you, causing Gyuvin to chuckle. 

“Guys, sorry to inform you but y/n is mine. Isn’t that right babe?” Gyuvin looked at you but instead of waiting for an answer, he decided to be an asshat and thrust up a bit rougher causing you to let out a soft moan.

_craddymommy_: Is she ok? >_>

Your_mom_69: Dayum she made that sound?

BigDEnergy_420: hot ;)

God this was humiliating. Also the last two are such lazy ass names? “She’s fine, just feeling a little flustered, she is camera shy right hun?” He pulled you closer as if that was possible, you staying silent.

As a warning, he pinched the inside of your thigh as you bit back a whine; “It’s rude to ignore the chat you know.” He whispered in your ear, before pulling back and continuing the game.

As he went on, every once in a while you’d move and he’d move his hips to hit your g-spot. 

After an hour more of ‘torture’ and many moans and concerned chatters, he finally leaned back and stretched, ending the live with “Sorry guys, I need to fuck my girlfriend.” 

Right after the end button was hit, Gyuvin wrapped his arms around your waist, one hand going down to your clit as he fucks into you roughly. “You know how- haah- how difficult it was to not fuck you into oblivion with millions of people watching you cum from my cock?” He moaned in your ear, before getting bored of the position and turned you around, picking you up easily with his dick in you at the same time, before going to your bedroom while occasionally slapping your ass. Barely making it into the room, he threw you down on the bed on your stomach. He pulls your ass up and goes back into your tight pussy, pounding hard causing your moans to turn into screams of pleasure.

“F-fuck~ Slow down- ah~!” You whined, with him just ignoring you. As you babbled almost incoherently, him letting out a raspy laugh as if he wasn’t just as needy. “Fuck baby, you drunk off my dick already?” He slammed into you, his balls slapping against your thighs.

As if you weren’t already fucked dumb, he started spanking you leaving handprints. 

“Mm~ such a fucking good girl. Mine. Say it. Say you’re mine.” He growled, suddenly getting possessive thinking of the viewers who might be jacking off over your moans. Sadly you were too dumb to respond, causing him to flip you around and pulling you into a deep kiss.

“Mine~ don’t you fucking forget that” He muttered against your lips.

 It didn’t take much longer before you were close, and right when you came, he followed shortly after. 

A few moments of being out of breath, and him laying down next to you, Gyuvin looked to his side to see you passed out. Letting out a weak chuckle, he got up with a groan and picked you up bridal style, carrying you to the bath. <3

A/N→Hope you enjoyed ya nasty(Kidding ILY POOKIE) This was way longer than I thought it’d be 💀

[pupyuj]

im ngl overstimulated yujin has me stuttering

combining these two asks cuz why not! anyways atp i’m looking like i genuinely believe yujin has a dick bcs i almost never write about yuj w a cooch anymore (yuj cooch enthusiasts i will deliver soon do NAWT worry) but listen … she does have a dick and i know bcs she’s constantly slamming it inside m—[STATIC]

(p.s. i think it’s way too obvious that i enjoyed this a lot pls i loooveee yujin sm don’t look at me like thatttt)

we all agree that yujin has crazy stamina and even if she’s exhausted, the feeling of being inside you is just too good that she never really pulls out after the two of you finish :(( if she could, baby would be inside you all the time really! you always wondered how much yujin could take before she’s crying and pleading for mercy… it’s about time that you’re the one who has her whimpering and getting all limp after all! 😵‍💫

binding her to a soft, comfortable chair and letting her keep at least her shirt on bcs you’re not gonna lie, your shirt looked way too good on her 😍 you’d start slow with a cute little handjob and for a while it’d look like just another friday night of good fucking for the two of you but yujin notices what you were up to when she was three orgasms deep and you still haven’t taken her dick down your throat or inside you! i’d love to think that she’d start squirming! yuj is used to being the one who does all the teasing and the cruel ‘make her cry all night by pulling eight orgasms out of her in a matter of an hour’ game—not the other way around!

baby’s never been overstimulated… a part of her would be excited, but mostly she’d be terrified bcs what if she embarrasses herself! :(( her pride wouldn’t let her go down without a fight.. she’d try to get control but you wouldn’t budge of course.. this was a once in a blue moon opportunity! you have to see yujin beg helplessly for you to stop 🥺🥺

“hm.. don’t dry out so quick, baby… you still have to fill me up, remember?” you’d whisper in her ear while tears well up in her eyes after her sixth orgasm 🫣 her legs shaking, dick twitching in your hand… i love to think about how she’d bite her lip to not be too loud but ending up failing and cutting her lip on the process oh the poor girl 💔 kissing down her neck and whispering the nastiest, most degrading things in her while you gear her up for another climax… yujin really doesn’t know if she should be turned on or humiliated but either way, one of those feelings was the one making her cum so—

ah it’d be soooo messy too?:!;!/&,& your entire hand would be drenched with her cum and every time you lick it up it only makes yujin’s dick go stiff again,, it’s impressive really! how she’s still able to keep cumming so much 😵‍💫 “good puppy, you just know what mommy wants from you, huh?” oh yujinnie would go insane 🤤🤤 you’d think she’d start resisting and acting all bratty but nooo puppy loves to get praised! sure she hated the humiliating aspect of it all (…or did she?) but one “good girl” and her brain just goes all dumb for you 🥺💕

seeing her pretty, shiny eyes all glossed up with tears once you decided to have a taste of her cum directly from the source… god you’d only have her tip in your mouth and she’d already be thrashing around and shaking her head bcs yujinnie was so sensitive at that point :(( sobbing pathetically and moaning at the pleasure at the same time.. loving how she was so obviously torn between wanting to break free of her restraints to stop you or to finish what you started and fuck you to oblivion… yujinnie will get her fun later but right now, it was time for yours 🥰

taking in all of her dick down your throat in one fell swoop and yujin’s screaming in the air with her eyes nearly rolled back 😵‍💫 ugh the sight of her dick disappearing inside your mouth flawlessy every now and again only made things worse.. she has to fuck you and breed you until she was empty :(( it wouldn’t take long for her to cum again.. but at least this time not a drop was wasted! you made sure to swallow it all, just how she liked to see it 🤭 it would be her eleventh orgasm and poor puppy would be so tired ☹️ chest heaving up and down, sobbing softly while still struggling to break free… and now you feel bad! 😔

“i know, baby.. sorry i went overboard, i know…” you’d whisper while spooning her on your bed, making up for all your meanness with your awesome aftercare 🥺 yujinnie would be so cute all cuddled up to your side, face buried in your chest where it was warm… and you’d think that she would be too tired to even keep her eyes open but nope! the second you let down your guard, yujin would be rolling on top of you and pinnjng your hands above your head, grinning down at you like the sick pervert that was 🤭🤭

“your turn. make daddy happy now.”

don’t you just love switches?? 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

Hellooooo i wanted to ask what jeff, toby, nina and ben with a reader with 🍒 strech marks and if your not comfortable thats okay! You can do strech marks in genral!

Ive just been rlly insecure about mine😭

(Also i have no ideas about anons but can i be 🪸 anon if its open?)

Hello! I wouldn't say i was made uncomfortable by this request, rather, i feel like i wanted to kind of open up this ask to a wider audience! So i did end up just doing stretch marks in general. I would also like to say that I am very excited to write for Nina!! She's such an icon <333

Also, yes, 🪸 is open!

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jeff

Jeff is the type of guy to find stretch marks incredibly attractive

When you are cuddling, he runs his fingers across the marks

If he can, he will kiss them as well

Whenever he greets you, say, if he was coming home from a mission, he would kiss your lips, and run his ands across the areas your stretch marks are on

Finding out that you are insecure about your stretch marks genuinely shocks him

Like wdym the stretch marks are the best part

But if it makes you uncomfortable, he will stop publicly giving you affection to those spots

That won't stop him from trying his hardest to convince you that your stretch marks are amazing

If you wear clothing that shows off your marks, he will ~strangely~ become more physically affectionate

It gets him so excited when you are confident to show off your body, but again, if you aren't the type of person to show off your body, he obviously won't be bothered by that

The way he sees it, you are the most gorgeous person on the planet and seeing you so insecure about something that he thinks is wonderful about you makes him sad

And so, whenever you're insecure, he will always assure you that he's here for you and that he will absolutely support you so that you feel comfortable in your skin

He also likes to bite them IM SO SORRY

Nina

Personally, I feel like she'd be indifferent to your stretch marks

She's more of a personality person anyways, so she genuinly won't notice your insecurities unless you tell her about them

When you do tell her about them though, she will go out of her way to hype you up

"OH MY GOODNESS Y/N YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL IN THAT OUTFIT I LOVE YOU!!"

"Isn't my partner soooo beautiful and perfect? They're so special, I just wanna squish them until their eyes pop out of their sockets <333"

"BABY. IM GOING TO EAT YOU"

She definetly experiences cute aggression

I bet you couldn't guess

She is a bit of a loudmouth, so if you want her to simmer down about it, she would try her best but in the end, she just needs to share her love for you with the world

I think the most low-key she can get is occassionally she will squeal when she sees you, and sometimes she will lick your face

No, i will not elaborate

She's gonna do whatever you wanna do when it comes to comfort

Wanna hide them? She's got the concealer

Wanna embrace them? She will literally worship you until you are all flustered and embarassed, giggling and begging her to stop

Just want some lighthearted comfort? She will sit in your lap and look into your eyes lovingly, kissing your nose occasionally and laying on your shoulder the rest of the time

Toby

He's so wholesome with it, bless him

He's absolutely the type of gyy to give your marks little nicknames

Bearclaws, Tiger marks, etc

He understands being insecure about them, as he is a very insecure person himself

And so, when you tell him about your insecurities he will comfort you in the way he likes to be comforted

He will hold you protectively, keeping his nose buried in your sweet smelling hair, and rubbing small circles around the marks

If you aren't in the mood to be held, he will lay on his stomach in between your legs, tracing the marks and counting them

Or if you just want to be distracted from your body, he will turn on some calm music, and ramble all his thoughts to you as you rub his head

Publicly he doesn't do much with your stretch marks

He doesn't want you to be embarrassed

If you want him to show more public affection to your marks, you'll have to tell him

He will oblige happily, of course

He will come up behind you, place his hands pn your hips and sway the both of you side to side, whispering into your ear how beautiful you are, how happy you make him, how much he loves you, etc

Definitely the best out of the list to have for comfort

BEN

Like Jeff, he finds stretch marks to be very attractive

Though, he understands if you are insecure about them

He teases you about it (lovingly)

"But baby they're so hot! What do you mean you hate them??"

"Aww come on, you're gonna deny me your full beauty?"

Most of the time, you will have to tell him about your insecurities whilst he plays a video game

He's listening, i promise, he just refuses to not play video games

If you are in a really sad mood though, he'll pause the game, and rotate the chair over to look at you

He'll beckon you over with a "c'mere", and as you stand in front of him, he will hug you and rest his chin on your lower stomach, looking up at you with a smile and kissing your hipbones

He'll talk to you softly, asking if you wanna sit with him

And as you sit on his lap, he continues to play his game, bragging to everyone on vc how gorgeous his partner is

He absolutely gets trolled for being a simp, but he knows you need it and above all, wants you to be happy

Publicly, he will also brag to people about how beautiful you are

Especially to Jeff since he sees him the most

"Oh my god dude, PLEASE shut up"

"You're just jealous you don't have a partner that's literally the most gorgeous person to ever exist. It's understandable, really. I mean, i know i would be"

"*stressed jeff noises*"

[cookie-crumblr]

Hype Train!

F! Streamer Reader x M!Yandere Streamer OC

Part 1~

His Info: ���✨

Part: 1 2

!!!MINORS DNI!!!

CW: lots of boring tech talk(sorry i nerd out sometimes and i wanted to show his thought process for his intro) yandere, f!reader, use of she/her when referring to reader, reader has a vagina, stalking, internet stalking, lewd comments not from ML, edit: sorry! i forgot to tag NONCON EXHIBITION!!! omg that’s probably huge. i am so sorry!!!

He is always looking for smaller streamers to raid, to bring in his moderately sized and very active audience to someone who may often only get about 5-10 people.

Today, he picked you. Your cute little VTuber model already having captivated him. He looks up your sinsta first, and sees your selfies. You somehow look just like your tuber!

You’re so cute.

He clicks “raid now”, and says to shower you in love!

As soon as the alert goes off for the raid, so does a long line of follower alerts. “Wh-what?! OMG! Thank you so much!!! Welcome to my stream! how was yours? if you have to raid and run, go eat and sleep pleasantly!”

Oh goodness, you sound cute. You even cared about him without knowing him, sure he knows it’s just polite for streamers to say those things. But coming to him in your adorably sugary voice, he instantly believes you really care.

While he’s watching the swaying of your adorable little avatar on screen, he’s imagining the movements in your actual face behind the camera.

“Oh my! im so sorry, uh-” Your mic picks up your ferocious typing, and your sudden shock snap him back to the moment,“I forgot to shout you out, Jasper!”

His name rolling off your tongue sounds so perfect, as if he’s been waiting to hear it that way his entire life.

He springs into action, realizing you have no mods, lithe fingers dancing across keys swiftly and with new purpose, “No worries! Tysm for the SO!! also, i can mod for you, if you want!😊”

You beam behind your screen, “Oh! i could never ask that of you! maybe if you’re here again next time!”

Of course he will be. You don’t know that though.

“O-m-gee! Thank you all soooo much for the hype train!!! level 5?! i’ve never even had a level three!! this is crazy!”

God you’re cute when you’re so excited.

He has your selfies from sinsta pulled up in front of him as he listens deeply to you speak.

You’re so thankful, and so, so sweet…

You must be so innocent.

You’re at the very least naive, and he’d hate to just leave you to be eaten up by this cruel, cruel world…

He must get to you first.

Your stream ends a few hours later, his followers stayed the whole time to shower you in love.

He knows he’s got a lot of simps… They’d do anything he tells them to.

You though, you’ve had the most fun streaming that you’ve ever had so far! And that payout this month is really gonna help, they gave so much!

On your dipcord you see a new friend request, it’s him! You add him without a second thought, always looking for more streamer friends.

within seconds you receive a dm from him, “Want to VC?”

“Sure!” you respond, full of excitement. Something in your gut roils, you feel so nervous but your excitement overrules your body’s initial warning.

When you shouted him out you saw his own Vtuber, and heard his melodic voice, your face warms at the thought.

He calls and you answer after long seconds that feel like minutes of deep breathing, and hyping yourself up.

“How are you feeling, Y/Username, you had a pretty productive stream,” Jasper’s voice is even softer than in his clip, your stomach turns to a fluttering tangle of knots.

“Oh! haha,” you giggle, “only thanks to you!”

His heart melts in response.

“You were why the viewers stayed, don’t sell yourself short,” as he speaks he’s sifting through your public scocials.

He has noticed one older woman with her real name as her username that follows you on every single account. He continues down this path through the web. She has pictures with you, confirming that she’s your mother in the descriptions. she has her state tagged on flapbook.

That narrows it down as long as you didn’t move too far.

On your own socials you often have pictures of flowering trees near red bricks. And in one Selfie a street sign is reflected in your dark shades…

He floogle maps it, then goes into street veiw, there’s a couple red brick houses, but there’s also a red brick apartment complex right around the corner with magnolia trees…

He smiles as his fingers find his lips idly zoning out slightly.

You’re only a few hours flight away from him there…

“Jasper?” Your timid voice pulls him back.

“Yes, pretty,” He says in a low groan, “Can I follow your private?”

You blush fiercely, “Ye-Yeah! o-of course,” you’re so glad he can’t see you right now, your face completely buried in your hands.

You open your phone and go to sinstagram, he sent you a follow request and already followed your public streaming account.

You smile to yourself bashfully, tucking stray strands behind your warming ears.

He sees there are a few live cameras connected in the apartment buildings.

“Hey, this is a random question, but do you have a cat cam? i do, and i saw you have a cat on your public…” He asks, hoping to sound inconspicuous.

“Y-yeah! i do, wanna exchange kitten pics?” you laugh feeling more comfortable, he’s got a cat too! You can’t help but love cat dads…

“Always! and do you have protection on it?” he can already see that only a couple of the cameras don’t have any sort of blocker on them in these buildings. He’s almost disappointed.

There… “How cute…” He finds the one with live footage of your cat just as pictured sleeping on it’s giant plant shaped cat tree across the room.

“You mean like the warranty? Y-yeah! I paid for the 2 year…” You try to keep calm…

He sees a few creeps are already connected to your cam.

He easily follows their trail, typing away on his loud mechanical keyboard. The sound of it soothes you, you end up closing your eyes for a second.

“Oh no- You paid?” he sighs in frustration, not at you though. At whatever store took advantage of you. “This brand comes with a free two year when you buy it…” Shit. he misspoke. He isn’t supposed to know the brand.

You don’t consciously notice.

“For real?! I had no idea!!” You’re almost as frustrated. That was like thirty bucks you didn’t even have to spend.

He can’t help the small enamored smile that creeps across his face.

“Next time you want to buy something techy lemme know. I’ll make sure you get the most for what ya pay an all that… But, back to my question- I meant what kind of firewalls do you have on your router, do you use two-factor authentication on the camera?” He knows you don’t have either, but he’ll tell you what to do to start protecting yourself from these animals.

One of the connected IPs is a live cam website that nobody signs up to be on…

The comments on you from just walking in front of it sometimes are lewd and disgust him.

“I hope she walks by today, sigh…”

“She’s so hot… I wish she’d take those panties off more often though…”

“I saw the side of her ass again yesterday. looks so good, god i want to taste her…”

“I’d fuck her so good, better than whoever that ugly fucker is that comes over sometimes…”

“That guy’s so lucky…”

His face is twists in a deeper and deeper disgusted scowl the more he reads, he almost ignored the comments about a guy visiting you.

Almost.

His blood boils.

“I-I didn’t know you need stuff like that… I mean it just faces my cat’s tree anyway! hah…” You giggle more nervously again, feeling a little creeped out by the thought of someone accessing it. Do you walk by sometimes? You realize you do…

“Lemme help you.” He says almost too eagerly. Save it, he thinks quickly. “I-, I like to make sure the people around me are safe at least.”

“That’s so nice of you!! but, I don’t want to ask too much of you, I’m sure i could floogle how to myself!” You sound determined, it’s adorable, and his face softens immediately.

“Nah, it’s seriously no problem, we’re already talkin’ righ’now, an it’ll just take one sec. Promise.” You can hear the smile in his soft voice and feel more at ease again.

“Okay! if you say so, thanks so much, Jasper!”

“Mm,” He can’t help the quiet groan from hearing his name exit your lips, “‘course” He begins the process with you, and makes sure you check the “log out of all other locations” box. of course his doesn’t disconnect though.“I’ll keep you safe from now on.” His words carry a weight that you can feel. Your heart pounds.

“Thank you. I feel better already knowing my cat’s safe!”

You’re more worried about your cat than yourself.

You’re so pure

“Like i said, ‘s no problem. Come to me for whatever you need technologically.” God he hopes you do. He continues typing, working on sending his homemade virus to all these sickos that have gotten to see more of you than they deserve. “I’ll protect you from now on…”

“You-uh- S-sound like you work a lot!” You try and change the topic, your heart flipping over inside you.

“Hmm?” His rumbling voice keeps sending chills throughout your body.

“Oh! sorry, I can hear you typing on your keyboard, what are those? lubed yellows? They sound so nice…” Your face warms, a little embarrassed.

“Mhmm,” He practically moans again, you shiver, “glad you know your switches. They’re my favorite.”

“Could you show me how to lube mine sometime?”

Now it’s his turn with a warm, reddening face, hearing your voice say lube is making him think of anything but keyboards. He idly plays with his lip again, tugging it up with his teeth.

“how ‘bought I do it with you,” You shudder, not knowing, but directly feeling his hidden implications.

You sigh through your nose hoping he doesn’t hear.

He does.

He smiles, ecstatic with the knowledge that you got what he meant.

“Hey, Y/username, I have a little bit of work to do righ’now, can I call you t’morrow?”

“Of course! and it’s Y/N”

He beams, “have a nice evening, Y/N” His voice smooths even more than it already was. He’s barelyy above a whisper speaking into his mic, and straight into your ears.

The effect it has is… A little bit maddening.

“You too,” you speak up with a soft and shaky voice, “see ya later, Jasper” he can tell you’re at least a little aroused by him.

He bites his lip, feeling the tug on his snake bites.

After you hang up, he doesn’t have to wait even a second before the next call is answered:

“Sup Jazzy,” he’s used to hearing his own voice, but it’s always weird coming from another “person”.

“Sup Devvy, how’re you an Issac?”

[pxgeturner]

keep you safe. keep you mine.

ghostface!miguel o'hara x reader. prologue.

you're a junior in college and you have a totally awesome boyfriend in the master's program. a girl from your school is murdered and your boyfriend is there to make sure you feel safe (college/uni!au as if its not obvious)

an. I've had this idea in my head for like a month. executive dysfunction is a little bitch so i've onlyy been able to sit down n write this today. I wrote part of it a work but most of it within the last hour. (it’s currently a bit past midnight on the first of october) which if u have been here for a while, know that’s v surprising for me. i really wanted this to be posted on the first of the month but what can u do. i’m just gonna queue it atp. this isn't very action packed bcz it's just a prologue. but im soooo excited. also, r is latina coded but can be read from any ethnic standpoint. also this has not been proofread.

warnings: r has a panic attack, mentions of death (slightly graphic description of a dead body)

wc. 1.2k

you can’t change the channel. you don’t know why. but you can’t. a girl from your university was killed just about an hour ago. you were going to turn on the run of practical magic that started about half an hour ago. you just keep watching the news-lady rehash the same information over and over again. the killer all but turned the poor girl inside out. she’s in your finance class. you worked on a group assignment with her. she’s one of those girls who tries to maintain the hierarchy of high school in college. which is total bullshit, you’re third years for crying out loud! she’s passive aggressive, sure, but she should’ve had so much more time to grow. so you’re sitting there. bundled in blankets, not able to press the button on the remote. 

PING! 

something hits the sliding glass door to the back porch. you don’t want to become chopped liver. so you stay in your seat. a few minutes pass, you think, and no more noise, so you turn back to the tv. 

thud thud. you ignore it, keeping my eyes on the screen. 

then my cell starts to ring. you jump in your seat, and search for it, lost in the blankets. It’s miguel. you pick up the call. 

“hey mickey, you scared me.”

“sorry, baby. mind opening the door? It’s a little fresh out here?”

“the slide door?”

“yeah,”

you untangle myself from the blankets and approach the glass. you turn on the outside light, and it’s him. you unlock the door and let him in. he kisses your cheek as he comes in. “hey, angel,”

“hey yourself,”

“where are your parents?” you shut the door

“concert, pop surprised mama with tickets to a merengue singer. gloria something.”

he nods and comes in to hug you. “how’s your night been angel? The news is on? why’s it still playing?” he strokes your hair “you know if you keep watching this fear mongering shit it’s gonna just make you anxious, baby.”

“yeah…” you melt into him, feeling safe with your big strong boyfriend here. “can you stay the night?”

“’course baby. anything for my sweet girl.” he leads you back to the couch, “what do you want to watch?”

“practical magic, but it’s already running.”

“don’t you have the dvd?”

“OMG YES” you jump out of your seat and dash over to the tv stand, opening the dvd stash drawer. “HERE IT IS” you wave it around in triumph before inserting it into the player. 

once you’re back on the couch your boyfriend goes “if you have it on dvd why would you watch it on cable?”

you pout at him “it felt special. like they were playing it just for me. it was the perfect time.”

he shakes his head and chuckles, “you’re just too cute, baby.”

… 

“she talked shit about you, y’know.” gwen says after she tossed a penny into the fountain. 

“what?” the two of you start walking to the dining hall

“that girl, ava whatever? she was in my drawing class after your finance class with her. she like, thought you were obsessed with her.”

you stop in your tracks. “wait. what the fuck?”

she steps back and turns to face you. “yeah. i didn’t tell you because i figured if she never said anything to your face it wouldn’t be a big issue.”

“ok…” this is confusing “a: what did she say and b: why are you telling me this?”

“she said you’d stare at her. and that you look like you look like a… what did she say?… ‘a brainless mutt’ and other shit. she only said shit like that a couple times. and i ripped her a new one both times.” she gestures for you to keep walking. you realize today they probably have pizza and she wants to get there before they run out. “i’m telling you this so you don’t feel too bad. she wasn’t some innocent soul, she was a bitch. you’re so nice. but i don’t want you wasting your emotions on her.”

you think about all this information as you two walk. you never really liked ava. she totally thought of herself as a queen bee, and that’s so icky. the class you had together is tiered with semi-circular layout. you sat at one end, and she did at the other. when you space out, you guess it might seem like staring, but, like. what the hell?

and then you see miguel. he’s in a booth with peter, mj, and miles. you and gwen go up to the table.

“hey, angel”

“hi mickey,”

“they have soup, got some for you. cranberry juice too.” your favorite food and your favorite juice? he’s heaven.

you smile so big it almost hurts.

“did you get me food?” gwen asks miles

“i- uh, didn’t know what you wanted,” gwen glares at him– it’s a joke but when you’re on the other end it doesn’t feel like it. “-but there’s plenty of pizza left! i haven’t gotten food yet. i wanted to wait for you.” gwen smiles and offers him her hand. the two of them leave and you slide into the booth, next to miguel. 

“how was break?” peter asks. 

“it was good! love being with my family as usual.”

“and miguel, i’m sure,” mj winks playfully. 

“i was at my parents house!”

“and miguel went over every time you offered.” peter says before taking a sip of his coffee. 

“he’s so in love with you. it’s an obsession.” mj jokes. 

miguel drapes his arm round your shoulder exaggeratedly. “gotta keep my girl safe, there’s some freaks who’d want to hurt her.” you elbow him lightly to tell him to stop joking like that. 

somewhere along the line after gwen and miles get back, the subject changes to them trying to convince you and gwen to go to graduate school. 

“you’re so smart! You could study classical literature! or ethical studies! or ethnic studies! genders studies.”

“oh my god parker please stop throwing studies in my face. i’m so happy y’all are having a good time in the master’s program. and i’m so glad that miles is planning to go do that kind of path too,” you lean back, head supported by miguel’s arm. “i just have no desire to be a career academic. by the time i graduate i’ll have spent seventeen years of my life on education. After i get that diploma i just want to write.”

“and that’s exactly what you’re gonna do, doll.” 

a few days later, and the weekend has arrived. you’re in miguel’s room, a tim burton film playing as you two cuddle. 

the movie gets drowned out by the sound of an alarm, coming from your phones. it’s an emergency alert from the police. someone else has been found dead. someone from your school. your breath turns shallow and a lump forms in your throat. you’re crying. you can’t breathe. everything is blurry. your chest feels heavy. miguel holds you, whispering in your ear reassurances. he’d never let anyone touch you. you’re safe. nothing bad is ever going to happen to you. he’s here to protect you. 

thank god you have miguel to protect you from everything evil outside.

[christinalvjyy]

i loved how you wrote the fic i requested! i have another one, if you’re willing to write it :3

college student wilbur who gets turned on by a girl who can play multiple instruments, and when he meets this girl at college who plays in the band and orchestra, he asks her out on a date, and they end up fucking by the end of it <3

that’s all!!!!!

- 🎸 anon

Hello 🎸 anon! I really love this request! I am gonna switch it up just a teeny bit because I have a good idea 🤭 (BY THE WAY THIS ONE WAS WAY LONGER THAN I WANTED IT TO BE!!!) I hope you enjoy!

"You play the guitar,too?"

Cw: sexual content

College student!wilbur x instrument expert!reader

Afab!reader

-

Wilbur could play instruments,and that's no lie. He'd go to every band meeting his college ever hosted and even played at a couple of shows! He loved showing his talent of playing the guitar.

One day, while he was walking to his classroom, he suddenly heard some music playing in the music room. He peeked and looked at this gorgeous girl playing the guitar as well as the drums. He could tell she was very talented and that turned him on.

The same day, the college had a little concert to celebrate the years it's been built. And as of cue, wilbur saw you. He saw you getting ready, sitting down and tuning your guitar. He felt very attracted to this beautifully talented person he just met. He knew that he had to have her. He had already liked her through the years of college, but it was one of those distant crushes.

As she was playing, he couldn't stop staring at her, that even his friends picked up on it and started teasing him. He brushed it off and started making a plan to make you his. As he was brainstorming, the concert came to an end, meaning you'd be leaving. He knew that he'd see you again tomorrow, but he just had to talk to you today.

You, on the other hand, was packing your guitar and humming a small tune, when you felt a light tap on your shoulder. Your eyebrow raised as you didn't know who or why this person wanted to talk to you.

"May.. may I help you?" You asked confused.

"Ah-ah, yes.. sorry, but I'm wilbur. We are in the same art class. I couldnt help but notice how talented you are..! You play the guitar AND the drums? That's pretty impressive if I do say so myself." Wilbur flashed a charming smile at you that would make any woman swoon for him. You laughed and shrugged it off as if your talent was nothing.

"Oh,thanks. I mean, it's not that impressive, but I will take the compliment,wilbur! Thank you." You smiled as you saw how pretty he was upclose.

"Soooo... uhm, I know this is totally random and strange, but I..  im really interested in you, and I have I guess.. for a while, but now seeing you playing all these instruments makes me liking you more... uh, anyways- would you like to go on a date with me..?" Wilbur rubbed the back of his neck shyly as his cheeks turned into a hue of pink.

"You.. want to go on a date with me? I'd like that! Yeah, of course!" You laughed with excitement as you hugged him. Wilbur wasn't too fond of physical touch, but you in his arms made him love it. He hugged you back,laughing nervously.

"Okay! Okay, great! Great.. awesome! Uhh, since I didn't plan it out, where would you like to...go?" He asked sheepishly. You honestly found it cute on how nervous he was.

"We could always go to this new restaurant close to mine? How about...7pm tomorrow?" And with that, wilbur nodded.

Fast forward,  today is the day you'll go on a date. You dressed up, put on makeup and curled your hair while waiting for wilbur. Then, he knocked on your door. You opened it and saw Wilbur wearing a suit and tie, looking rather handsome.  You blushed and smiled.

"Hi,wilbur." You said as you looked at him up and down.

"Well, hello gorgeous! This dress really hugs your curves... I love it." He said as his tone was rather... hungry.

"May I come in? It's only 6pm." He added. You nodded and stepped aside.

Wilbur started looking around the house, then suddenly you spoke.

"I'll be back, I'm going to my room to grab some jewellery I forgot!" You smiled as you walked away. Wilbur bit his lip, and decided to follow you. As you entered your room,so did he, then closed the door. You turned around, looking confused, but before you could say anything, he pulled you into an aggressive kiss. Your tongues battling against eachothers. After a while you pulled away, gasping for air as his lips were now covered with your red lipstick. You panted and laughed.

"You've got a bit of..lipstick." you chuckled and so did he.

"Hey, it's fine... im going to ask for some marks with that." He smirked. He then started unbuttoning his pants quickly whilst looking at you. He swiftlt removed his cock out of his boxers, still with pants on. You tried to remove your dress swiftly, but failing miserably.  He helped you getting it off before you propped yourself on top of him on your bed. You straddled him as he held onto your hips for support. He was quite big, so you had a hard time adjusting. He started kissing your neck, leaving wet marks and a couple of hickeys too.

You started riding him slowly, letting out some low moans. Wilbur gasped and groaned as you started moving.

"Oh- oh,yeah..  that's good.. there we go..." he encouraged as he started playing with your hair while leaving a trail of kisses over your jawline and collarbone. He started licking the areas, trying to find a soft spot of yours. Then, he heard you let our a small whine.

"Bingo..." he said as he sucked the area harder as you continued to ride him. You started moving at a faster pace, and the only noise that you could hear was the skin slapping against eachother and small pants and whines. Wilbur got up and you whined at the loss of pleasure. He then brought his fingers to your wet,throbbing core.

"You want this badly, eh?" He mused in a teasing way. All you could do was nod, and by that time, two of his fingers entered your tight,wet core. You let our a cry of pleasure as you felt his fingers curling up inside you. Your moans grew louder by each second as he started moving them in and out.

"Oh,baby, you're so...tight!" Wilbur gasped as his other hand started stroking his throbbing cock. The movements were stable and he made sure both of you had pleasure. He quickened his pace and you started moaning and whining. You were a mess. Your eyes rolled back as you tilted your head to the side while gasping. You brought one hand to his hard cock, helping him as much as you can. Sooner or later, he said.

"Oh- oh y/n, I'm g-gonna fucking cum!" Wilbur gasped. You nodded with him as you felt your stomach tightening. He held it in and let you come first. Your eyes were glues shut as you let out a pornographic moan and then released. Wilbur removed his fingers from in you, and started licking them clean. You then continued stroking his cock, and by the end of it, he squirted all over. You both layed down on your bed, huffing and trying to compose yourselves.

"That was... way better than I expected..." You gasped as you gave him a small nibble on his neck.

"Oh,yeah...I agree" will nodded.

"About that date...?" You turned to look at him while smiling.

"Right, maybe.. tomorrow? For real this time." And with that, you both cuddled up and fell asleep in eachothers arms.

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

oh my goodness :D hi hi hi!!!! i lit just found your blog and saw you do ships which is like soooo cute omgggg!!! soooo… i was wondering if i could get a match up too? 🤭

anywayyyysss, my name is Lalia! i’m 15 and turning 16 in september. I go by she/her and i’m pansexual. I am of south east asian and white descent (happy aapi month wooo!!!) here are some other physical attributes: 5’3ft tall and slim; i have short black hair (but i’m gonna dye it red over the summer); i have big eyes that are dark brown; and i never go outside so im pretty pale😭

my personality on the other hand is not as easy to describe as my appearance… ive taken a lot of personality tests that often describe me as: introverted, listening, creative, logical, thoughtful, determined, daydreaming, and melancholic. i don’t think that my personality is good or bad; in fact, i think that i am a true neutral. I also feel things very deeply, which has led me to be in situations where my feelings get out of control causing something bad to happen (like me ending up in the hospital and psych ward💀). BUT IM OKAY!!! i have anxiety medication and go to therapy lollll. But even though i keep to myself, i still like to talk to people and do things like acting, singing, dancing, and just performing in general!!! i actually love love LOVE to sing and play my guitars sm<33 but some of my other hobbies include writing books or poetry by myself or reading and drawing :3 i do believe that i am confident/ bold but i also tend to be pretty shy around people i don’t know. maybe cuz in middle school i was bullied a lot??? 😭 but i feel like that experience helped me to gain a lot of empathy for people who don’t fit in either,, so i always try my best to always be kind and stick up for people!! But yeah, im really excited for summer cuz i hate school and i never try but i still get all A’s :D

ERM ANYWAYS… idk why im yapping sm SORRYYYYY and TYSM FOR DOING THIS i hope you have a good day/night!! <3

Happy aapi month! Also about being in the psych ward or the hospital, I just wanna let you know that it has a lot of really nasty stereotypes and people who go to psych wards are honestly just cool because they care about their mental health and the fact that you found help and made yourself go or you know, even just didn’t refuse to go I’m really proud of you because it means that you’re taking care of the beautiful person that you are so Never be ashamed or let anyone call you crazy for any up in a psych ward or hospital because it just means that you were prioritizing you and for that it just means that you are very self-aware and I love you Pookie. I love you for prioritizing your mental health. 

Your Outsiders Ship: Ponyboy Curtis!

Explanation: I think he loves your short black hair and your eyes and think that it’s adorable that you’re so pale from never going outside. I personally think that he’s more on the tan side because I think he spends a lot of time outside but I think the contrast between you guys would be pretty hilarious. you seem like the type of girl that he would be very interested in in the fact that you are very thoughtful. Kind of more quiet. I think that you remind him of kind of a more academically based or you know deep thinking Johnny like that’s kind of the vibes I’m getting from you and I think that he would absolutely be in love with that. He usually take things from a logical standpoint and less emotionally so he would absolutely get that and I feel like you guys would have really deep meaningful productive conversations with each other that are interesting. Like I feel like you guys could be putting in room and you would never get bored of talking to each other because you would just be so invested in your conversation and you guys would have pretty good banter too. He also feels things incredibly deeply so I feel like you know he’s the most “” sensitive greaser so I think he would really get that and kind of you guys would get each other away that really no one else in the time period Can understand. He loves it when you sing and dance and thinks it’s pretty amusing he would definitely go to all of your shows and you really loudly or at least really loudly and I feel like he would be so proud afterwards and walk you home with the biggest grin on his face and he would also help you with acting. I don’t know why but I think he’s a surprisingly good actor. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s pretty good at character and analysis but I think that he’s a great actor and could help you out with your performances. He’s also into reading drawing and writing so I feel like that’s something that you guys could do together something kind of cute like you guys can make a little comic together or something like that and reading and music dates. You would absolutely have a lot of. he’s kind of similar in the fact where he doesn’t really love school, but he does get all A’s because he doesn’t want to disappoint his brother anyway you guys are cute and honestly, I didn’t have to think very hard about this because you guys are so similar, and I think you guys would be great for each other, you guys also have a habit of both always always standing up for the underdog and things like that so I think you guys could relate in that aspect of having similar kind of morals and values. 💚💚

[illogicallyx]

I love each one of them sooo much😭😭😭😭 just like asvskajs and maybe it’s not but like it feels so me-coded I love it lmao

BUT ok so like imagine gojo like urging Megumi to do shut just so he can meet you😭down bad and I bet he gets turned on when you talk to him formally and a little condescendingly because yk wtf is this parenting and god forbid you realise his sister is tsumiki because lololol. Megumi’s having the worst time and like you say smn in the heat of the moment and gojo gets a little annoyed because ykyk HIS son so then the tension and you get a little soft for them and thus your mom arc begin (and gojo’s mommy<3)

Also like like like like geto’s scoff? *dies as a blushing mess becauseeee ahhhh* but like imagine them teasing you a little, like the girls—when it’s Valentine’s Day or smn (and you’re not together yet) them making cards for you lmao. Or like them making Geto get you gifts from “their” side in your birthday. And he finds you soooo sweet because at least his burden for the girls’ is shared a bit and like imagine him coming early to pick them after school and y’all chat<3

And nanami’s part 🤭🤭🤭🤭 also I feel like he wouldn’t necessarily just want them to pass but he wouldn’t put pressure either. Like you do you boo but whoever would want to do STEM when given freedom? You and his daughter ofc (now I need his son and teacher!reader thoughts) but also—imagine you teaching his daughter smn and she talks about it all night to him or her being unable to solve smn and him either and so he sheepishly asks you lmao

part 3 im having too much fun with this

it is you coded bc i specifically added the astrophysics part for you BC U LOVE JT

omg like i said before our thots abt satoru are so similar bc i was thinking the SAME. i feel like he'd say "oh ;) i had him when i was young but thank you for the compliment ;)" (assuming he's like 25 here bc like how long has it been for megs in jujutsu high? idk whatever) to which megumi is like HUH? o_0

and you are like so irked by him from the get go bc wtf is that uniform? why tf is his hair so white? and then satoru makes a comment abt how u should start the meeting instead of checking him up which makes u even more annoyed. poor megumi is just praying to every god that this doesnt make his teacher hate him too bc you're his fav :(

and yes agreed agreed abt him telling megumi to do shit so he can see you again and megumi is like NO i will not but he does end up in another fight again bc Teenage Angst and yeah the next time he comes he's grinning like a cheshire cat bc "well well we meet again" and you are like jesus fucking christ and megumi is praying for the ground to swallow him whole

omg u so so so right

it'd be so cute if like geto knew of ur crush snd even the girls like imagine them each hold his hand while they walk out the class and they are like giggling abt how their teacher deffo likes him snd he's just like 😊😊😊 bc u sure do and maybe he harbours one too bc u were so cute.

i totally agree with him coming early to pick them up just so he can talk to u and like imagineee its ur bhd and they personally accompany suguru to get gifts the day before and when they go to school the next day they are so giddy and excited bc they know their father is coming with the gifts bc they told him to give it to you personally.

they'd literally jump outta their seats when he comes and u are literally like fixing ur hair while they greet him yeahh he'd literally be like :D when he gives it to you bc he is as nervous as u and like mutual pining<33333 the girls as the match makers AAAAA

pls pls im sick in the head bc i would do stem out of my own free will ok so shush and omg wait i love the idea of him asking you for help with the qns like OEJFKKRKEKDK like imagine he knows how to do math and such bc he worked in the finance department (i think? is that canon? oh well) but he texts u under the disguise of wanting help even doe he can deffo do it himself lol AAAA

and nanami's son i feel like would be into sports!! like it'd be total opposite from his daughter. his son would love to play football/soccer and it all started when nanami got his baby boy a ball as his first toy like he bought him more but his son wouldnt play with anything else just that ball and like

even his first steps were like holding onto the couch to help him stand up and when nanami saw that and took out his phone to take a video he saw how his son literally kicks the ball next and laughs in glee before falling back down on his bum and ....yeah he knew his boy is gonna be crazy abt sports

OKAY omg imagine nanami dropping his son to practice in a damn suit and like you being his son's coach and like u always catch that fine man in a suit dropping off ur talented player and yeah 🙃

part 2

[empyreasheart]

just for shits and giggles i want to make a list of dolls i want. from both realistic options to ones that are completely out there

g3 lagoona core refresh - everything about her is soooo adorable. her hair her pants her bag!!! im so serious i neeeddd her. she;'s such a glow up from the first release and i adore lagoona's g3 design

g3 catty noir - she's a cat, she's pink, and she's g3's first plus size doll! i love her so much the more i look at her the more i want her even though i dont need this many dolls...

i also admit the leak of fearbook toralei is very tempting. i dont want her as badly as the other two upcoming releases but as a toralei fan i am so excited to see her with show-accurate hair!

g1 ghoulia yelps - honestly im very confused on the status of her creepro release but i definitely want to grab her if i can. i love ghoulia and i prefer her g1 design so i want herrrr

g1 scarily ever after draculaura - ive been kind of 50/50 on the color scheme of this doll, but the princess who loves lala in me wants this doll... she's definitely an easier g1 doll to get secondhand

g1 sweet screams draculaura - this is probably the most unrealistic, but i simply. LOVE HER. so much. SHES SOOOO CUTE. she's 100% my fav g1 draculaura doll. unfortunately everybody else has the same idea, so she'd be sooo incredibly expensive... really putting the "dream" in "dream doll".

tts rapunzel & cass - i'm always SOOO mad i never got these dolls when they were available . i want to make cassunzel hold hands sooo bad.... i mostly want cass from this set but having them together would be a dream.

i'm not really crazy about rainbow high, but if i ever got a doll from the series... it'd definitely be a pink one! i like these three:

junior high bella parker (i am looking at that bag so intently)

and priscilla perez

i really love the inset eyes on these dolls but something about the proportions of their face / heads turns me off from these dolls. but some of them are very cutes!

im runnign out of ideas so uhh.

princess liana - this doll is very familiar so i think i might of had her actually? i cant wait unti l ifind all my old dolls and fix them up. but the diamond castle is my favorite barbie movie & liana's dress is lesbian colors so of course i want her

id also like princess anneliese.. her dress looks a lot nicer than liana's tbh, but i imagine she's a hard find since patp is such a popular movie.

there are a lot of barbie & disney dolls that id probably loveee to have but i dont have the energy to go through archives of dolls right now. maybe ill add to this in the future lol

[joonsytip]

first of all i love ur pfp and tsd and PHEW- selfish indeed! Your writing is amazing so i hope you dont take this as a critique of that bc it's just the Characters i wanna gossip abt heheh. I'm the anon from waaaay back who was team dk and now ive decided....im team OC. maybe in the future when reader has a chance to properly look at dk then yes but hannie is NOT it for her oh my gooooood like i felt like i was rlly watching a drama like, jeonghan 😭 how did you make this poor girl suffer for 2 years bc of ur own complex. Reader wasn't faultless bc she did keep approaching and shoulve put her foot down sooner but tbh jh was too wishy washy with his actions and made it seem like he purposly was trying to go out of his way to hurt her and then oh a week later, he's in love???. I like the cheol part when he gave advice like cheol and jihoon were the MVPs along w chae but srsly. The cheol part gave us more insight into jeonghans side but bro just bc u have some deep hidden repressed feelings doesnt mean u get to treat oc like that thinking its cute. Tsundere is cute, straight up rudeness isn't. Cheol was so right when he put things from reader's perspective like how are u gonna treat reader like a bug for 2 years then turn around and say u love her. Noooooope, its a no from me 😭. I respect what jihoon said the most like reader can be persistent as much as jh wants to get his redemption. Reader hit the nail on the head when she said he doesnt love her, he only loved being pined after, because thats exactly what it is from her perspective because jeonghan seriouslyyyyy fucked up instead of being honest to his feelings or aware. At this point im so pissed off w jh (the fictional one hehe) and i just want reader to be happy. The friendship dynamics in this are the absolute fucking best !!!!!! Seriously the office culture and dynamics in this MADE the story and i lived for it. I just want reader to transfer and live her hot girl life while jeonghan pines and lives in a puddle of regret. He's gonna need to show a lot more sincerity. Right now he's just trying to prove himself, as jihoon said he's just trying to redeem himself by doing all these flashy things that are just making reader question him more and make her feel like shes being mocked. As cheol said, he needs to put himself in her shoes like the underdeveloped eq jh has in this 💀. Goes from i hate you to i love you in a week and wonders why his sincerity didn't reach. i sweaaaaar he frustrates me like nobody else ughhhh the way you made his flawed character was so good like u had me feeling so much anger over a fanfiction 😆. It balanced out so nicely like the cluesless jh and cheol who sees the bigger picture and wants his friends happiness and then reader who is passionate in her love and jihoon who is really mellow but sees everything for what it is. Then we got the trouble makers and office clows along with the dependable friends and bff hao. Hsjsjs soooo many good character, this was such a good cast!!!

I like healing loves and loves that complete you, jh feels more like a puppy crush that makes ur heart race, the kind love that breaks ur heart and u have to learn from- and thats ok! For example, she has a great attraction to jeonghan and went crazy when he wore the red top (goddamn i would too, that chic office wear????) Like jh excited her but a love like dk feels more like home, you know? What i would tell reader if i could is that life is sooo much more than that boy you think is ur first and last love. Sometimes what u really need is ur friends and to enjoy your youth bc this aint it and in my humble opinion jeonghan is not it for her. I know they'll end up together bc its a x jeonghan and this is a fictional world but i took this way too seriously bc i got invested LMAO. Felt like i was in the damn office with soonyoung fighting the copy machine and texting boo seungkwan from the rival office next door about all the drama just to hear his hot takes 😂 I wanna have a sad bitch party with reader and chae and just blast 'you're not sorry' by taylor and then bust her out in a hot outfit for a revenge type plot LMAOOOO the way im sucked into this fanfic you would not believe hahahha. Like reader shows up at the og office after her transfer looking like jeonghans dream girl and she gives him the same treatment he first gave her 😤 the reversallll!! Oh my god and she brought her new coworker, hottie kim mingyu who anyone can see from a mile away is a literal 😍 around her like theyre giving puppy gf x puppy bf and jeonghan is feeling the heat hehehe. As u can see im fucking delusional and ive continued this scenario like its my own life in my head for so many different scenarios LOL.

Thank u for writing and listening to my ramble<333

Gosh. First of all, ANON WE SERIOUSLY NEED TO TALK???? I really loved how you laid out your perspective about the storyline and the character, specially the protagonists.

I do get where your thoughts are coming from and tbh it's a real tough deal to make Jeonghan get his redemption arc coz redem. arcs have always been difficult.

And the way you continued the storyline after the part 2, it's so satisfying actually???

Thanks for dropping by and please keep rambling on me from time to time, I love it! 😂🫶

[maiseui]

EW THIS FIC WAS SO BAD 👎👎👎 BOOO 🍅🍅🙄🙄👎👎👎 FUCK IM KIDDING IM KIDDING THIS WAS JUST 😫😫😫😫😫‼️‼️ LIKE THIS WAS SOOOO 🤩🤩🤩😍😍😙😚🤪 LIKE JUSTTTTTT 🤩🤩🤩 JUST EVERYRHINGGGVVVG THAT I NEEDED?????

in a word: charming. this fic is so so fucking charming. i love that it’s not your typical academic rivals where they’re in high school and they’re screaming at each other in the face (wait i’m describing my own fic); instead, you took a much more tender and profound approach. everything that led up to the establishment of the bet was so fucking thrilling and exciting and made me feel really giddy - specifically how heeseung wasn’t able to admit his crush on her and she kept wandering her way back to the court (Girl I Get it 💀) and their conversations just felt so electric like there was so much brimming underneath 😫😫 LITERALLY CHEFS KISS. i fuckimg DIED when he took that leap of faith and asked her out and the concept about it all being about timing echoed right into the end of the story — TIMING. ITS ALL ABOUT TIMING. IM JUST GOING TO LIE HERE AND STARE AT MY CEILING AND KEEP THINKING ABOUT THOSE WORDS. i also couldn’t help but fucking die when he kissed her fingers when she stopped him from KISSING HIM AND THEN HE STARTED DOING REALLY WELL IN BBALL AND HIS FEINSDS WERE TALIING AB IT BUT WHEN THE GAME FINALLY CAME AROUND AND FUKING HANBIN WAS HOLDING HER HAND LEADING THE WAY TO HIS SEAT HEESEUNG COINCIDENTALLY STARTED FLOPPING ON THE COURT???!&$@8:$@ ) HSJJDAKS FUCK I really did wince when he fell onto his knee bc that sounds like it hurt BUT i’m glad he got a lil makeout from that <333 SEE heeseung i’m sure it wasn’t that painful after all <3333 (btw that makeout scene was so SO SO PRETTILY WRITTEN I REALLY ENJOYED IT,,, LIKE MY GOD I JUST LOVE THE WAY yn’s feelings slowly built up from the beginning and we could see the way her heart slowly opened up 🥹🥹🥹🥹 SO FUCKING CUTE IM IN LOVE W THESE TWO)

sorry i don’t think i’m rlly adding much to this but i just want to say that i really fuckimg loved this fic bc you write so beautifully and i adore your style here - it really felt like you resonated with the thoughts of your characters?? i especially loved the way you wrote about jumping from 98 to 100 and how the difference is minute but the ability to jump from one to the other is gobsmackingly substantial. it felt like she really understood heeseung in that part, and also toward the end when he was crushed bc of the game. i think my fave thing ab yn was that she really seemed to understand heeseung (and vice versa) which made their feelings feel a lot more real and honest and BEAUTIFUL. (also the “i think i’m falling in love w u” GL DIE I FUCKING GASPED)

anyway you wrote this so so so well and i’m so happy w the way it turned out ❤️❤️❤️❤️ u deserve many head pats for this and i’m so proud of u HEHEH this was seriously so good and honestly imma fr start rioting if i don’t get this type of heeseung in my life soon 💔💔💔

FAIR AND SQUARE › lhs

SYNOPSIS › one thing about life— it's unpredictable. for example, you made a note to yourself about not associating too much with heeseung for your own peace of mind, letting him stay as the academic rival slash classmate that he is, instead of allowing him to be something more, except one thing leads to another and you find yourself face to face with the said man with your feelings all over the place. a lowkey confession leading to a mere competition, let the game begin.

WORD COUNT › 20.2k

GENRE › academic rivals / friends to lovers, mutual pinning because they're just competitive and oblivious ft in denial, fem reader, quite the 'he fell first but she fell harder' thing eye guess . . .

WARNINGS › mentions drinking, sheds light on family issues ( mostly on the reader's side ) bruise and injury, slightest of angst, arguments, suggestive ( fourth section, towards the end ) profanities, let me know if you spot more

PLAYLIST › tune in for a better experience

NOTE › i love this fic with all my heart and lungs, even more. anyway, i'm sorry to academic rivals fans, this doesn't have academic blood and gore, as quoted by my dear mai. SPEAKING OF MAI EVERYONE THANK @maiverie FOR BETAREADING THIS FIC!!!!!! im not lying when i say i wouldn't have finished writing this yesterday if it wasn't for her, like thank u for ur super helpful review that got my brain juices flowing :< luv u fr. ALSO both heeseung and reader are taking post grad course so of course, they're aged up ( no ages specified ) have fun reading.

I. BANE OF EXISTENCE

one thing about life— it’s unpredictable. 

for example, you’re in the library writing and reading papers on the topic you love, the one that you’re supposed to enjoy and the one that will become the reason behind your earnings in the near future, but here you are, sitting with a headache and a cup of coffee on the side. who knew the subject you've liked since grade one will betray you and become the potential bane of your existence? not you, surely enough. wednesday noons are for basketball matches, which explains why the library and hallways are quieter and emptier than usual. even the teachers make time for the tournaments off their busy schedules, it’s understandable— your university is known for having one of the best sports teams in the league, and the basketball team being the defending champions does nothing but fuel the pride of students and staffs as if they’re the ones on the court, trying to get the ball in the basket.

you wouldn’t say you don’t like being a part of the crowd because you’ve been to the badminton tournaments and know that watching matches is as interesting as playing, if not more. you just don’t have the time to attend any. with assignments piling up and exams ‘round the corner, you’d rather spend your last two months of the semester studying instead of yelling at the bleachers. you can always get the recordings if you ever feel like watching one, as for the results, the word goes around faster in your department than anywhere else, all because of one of the students being on the team. 

you try focusing, you really do, but your cup is just as empty as your brain and your phone is going up with notifications. you don’t see the point of miyeon spamming the gc with updates on the match when everyone in the group, except you, is with her, watching and cheering alongside. muting is a choice which you choose not to do, and the reason is between you and god, to be honest. long story short, it’s the lack of motivation clogging your thought process and the realisation that your friends are out there enjoying themselves unlike you is blocking any means of logical thinking. a day or two spent not studying wouldn’t make you fail the classes, and even if the guilt is pooling inside, you pack your stuff and walk out of the library, making your way to the indoor basketball court. 

the screams grow louder as you approach, each step reminding you that you still can go back as you choose to ignore it. exams can wait, you tell yourself, a day to myself can’t. your mother would tell you to take breaks and go out instead of studying all day, but being on top is an addiction. it’s no good, you wish other students would believe you, it’s a struggle, on the top, at the bottom, everywhere. you expect to turn a few heads as soon as you walk inside, which doesn’t happen, but you expected it. you don’t watch matches, this could easily be your third or fourth one, and the first basketball match, to be more specific. once you realise that everyone is busy watching the plays instead of noticing who comes and goes from the court, you make your way up to the one friend you manage to spot amidst the crowd— sung hanbin. indoor bleachers feel more compact than the outdoor ones. you've been to the football match last semester, courtesy of miyeon, and everything being outdoors really helps with the crowd and noise. 

“didn’t expect to see you here,” hanbin stands next to you, offering you a sip or two from his drink, which you politely refuse, eyes fixed on the court as if it was the home they’ve been searching for. “i thought you hate heeseung,” it isn’t until he takes his name that your gaze averts to heeseung. you don’t even know why hanbin would outright assume you’re here for heeseung. in fact, that man’s name didn’t even cross your mind until he was mentioned.

“hate is a big word, ‘bin,” your words are more of a whisper laced with hesitation, as if you aren’t sure of what you’re saying. hate, actually, is a very big and heavy word. despite its constant usage with your friends, you realise the weight it holds and the impact it has. hate and dislike— they’re different and yet similar enough to be used synonymously at times. not by you, of course, you have a clear distinction between the two, and as of now, you don’t know if what you feel for heeseung is a mere dislike or pure hatred. “i just don’t like him,” 

when he successfully shoots a three-pointer, you come to the decision that you definitely don’t hate him. heeseung is, more or less, the typical all-rounder straight-A student, the jack of all trades and fortunately enough, the master of all as well. he's the student teachers use as an example, the son parents wish for, the boyfriend people wished they had. lee heeseung is many things, and one of those is being the reason why you have the second highest score in your department instead of the first position, unlike how it used to be two semesters ago. 

heeseung transferred departments about thirty weeks ago, from chemistry to bioinformatics. it had been surprising on your side because not many opted for bioinformatics until they were certain of their goal. the course in itself is vast, like an ocean of several different fields and each and every one of them opens a door to a different outcome. bioinformatics isn’t something students picked overnight just because it had the vacancy and they didn’t like their initially chosen courses. as fun as the subject sounds, it demands consistency and time, something that heeseung lacks. you had seen him attend classes the first few weeks regularly, and then the ghost of him started sitting on the empty seat that belongs to him. skipping classes, arriving late, delayed submission of a couple of projects— you knew he wasn’t here to stay. it was to pass time, or whatever, you couldn’t care, didn’t care, not until he started acing the tests, practically dethroning you from your infamous ‘perfect all kill’ title that you had for getting nothing less than a perfect score, most of the time, give and take a few here and there. 

you still get good scores, amazing even, full score in theory and the same in practicals. it’s going well in lab manuals and project works but heeseung seems to get a perfect score in those too, something you started missing ever since he came into the picture. perhaps, it was something in the way he phrased his essays— you hoped it was. rumour has it that heeseung used to be a literature student, which could explain his outstanding english skills and his eloquent way of speaking. you even looked up his debate videos on youtube only to find more evidence on how skilled he is in public speaking. 

but above all, heeseung is, actually, just a really damn annoying student, quite literally the bane of your existence. he’s always set on stealing people’s spotlight during lessons, with you being the people, obviously, always answering questions with information that’s unrelated and probably even unnecessary. and for the shortest time, you even considered taking him off your ‘things i hate’ list because you were no different in highschool. when you’re the top student, it becomes a habit to talk about things as if you know them in your bones and impress teachers. hell, you even had rivals in highschool, although none of them got on your nerves the way heeseung does. basically, he has no reason to call you by weird names everytime you both pass each other in the hallways, or remind you that he’s the top student. ‘this is the vice-captain of the basketball team and the best student of the biotechnology department, lee heeseung, informing you on the up—’ seriously, no one wants to hear him introduce himself like that when you’re around. you’re pretty sure it’s engraved inside your brain with the amount of times he repeats it everyday. minjeong even says that heeseung is becoming more and more like sunghoon, and you would not know how or why because you didn’t attend highschool with sunghoon, unlike her. 

the court flares up with cheers when heeseung goes for a dunk which ultimately leads to their team winning the match, and you reach the conclusion that maybe you don’t hate heeseung but actually want to bang his head against the walls. your eyes follow him around the court, analysing his conduct during the match, the way he communicates so effortlessly with teammates using hand signs or quick phrases, the way he holds the team together when the ball is with him, despite not being the captain. heeseung might be the most unbearable person you’ve met so far, he’s actually just fine when his target is not you. you’re sure any other player is doing just as good but nothing comes close to how you see heeseung. it’s different, the light he is in, it’s unique, incredible, and inexplicably addictive. heeseung juggles between classes and basketball, you remember sunghoon talking about his part-time job when you passed by their lockers the other day. he doesn’t have it easy, you don’t either, but you had those all perfect kills by spending hours in your study while heeseung does better than you while winning matches, making money. 

it doesn’t take you long to realise that what you have for him could be dislike with a hint of jealousy, and you wonder if all the people would react the same way once they know who heeseung really is— a devil behind an angelic face, one who deliberately likes ruining things for you, as if his life depends on it. you still remember the day he personally texted you the wrong syllabus for a test, claiming that it had been updated and the professor had asked him to notify everyone. ‘and as you know, i have not been added in the group chat yet so i’m texting everyone personally,’ he had lied ever so smoothly as if his words consist of nothing but truth, as if lies are something he hasn’t even heard of. kudos to you for studying the original and correct syllabi beforehand, you still aced the test, if heeseung scoring the first rank is overlooked. 

you’re dragged back from your thoughts to the reality when a boy bumps into you while hurrying down to the players, hoping to get noticed. half of the students act like the team is actually a boy-band, you can see them on the front page of every single edition of university magazine. usually, you prefer waiting for the crowd to disperse before taking your leave from wherever you are, but a sudden reminder about the tests over text from your professor gives you a reason to leave early, all to make sure you could catch up to heeseung. you rush your way out of the bleachers once the teams start leaving the court, eyes fixed on heeseung to take a note of the direction he leaves. hanbin gives you a confused look before the words find their way out of his mouth. “where are you going?” 

“basketball shower room,” and your words could give him, and the other people who might’ve heard you, a wrong idea but you couldn’t care less. the goal was to see heeseung before he leaves the campus, which was highly likely because no one has it in them to attend four hours of classes after an exhausting match, not even heeseung, no matter how amazing he is. 

you make your way through the ocean of people, bumping into a few in the process as you make your way to the club room. a silent profanity leaves your mouth once you realise that the club room entrance might be filled with fangirls and boys, left and right, and the thought of shuffling your way out of the crowd to meet heeseung makes you reconsider your actions. heeseung might be a star student but isn’t amazing enough for you to step out of your comfort zone and do things to see him. 

“well, this is surprising,” your voice manages to turn his head towards the door. “thought you’d be busy with your fangirls, lee,” and it is surprising indeed because the hallways are unexpectedly empty with only a few people around. you would say they learnt to give the players their space after a game but that would be a lie considering the embarrassing history of students when it comes to people on the sports team. 

“they’re probably busy with jake,” heeseung responds with a smile, and even though he turns to his locker just as quickly, you could see the smile dancing on the corner of his lips. 

jake is rather a new player, a junior to be specific, and jay personally spent days waiting outside the physics department to get the guy on the basketball team. explains why he’s popular amidst students, he’s talented, good at studies— seriously, you wouldn’t understand how these people manage academics with sports. you couldn’t, and even if you managed to, you would end up passing out every few days. “does it suck to lose your fan-following to a newbie?” 

“not really. i still have you here,” heeseung wouldn’t call it ‘losing’ his fan-following because he’s using jake as bait to escape the crowd of students as quickly as possible. a junior has to make sacrifices, in this case it’s to save heeseung by sacrificing himself to the public. although, saying that he still has you looking for him even though a hundred others aren’t makes him feel better about himself. “no but seriously, what did you come here for?” 

“oh, it’s for the test on friday,” you pull out your phone, opening the group chat with the professor and the students who took the same course. it’s laughable how the universe put you in the exact same situation twice, although with the tables turned this time, and it takes everything in you to not tell him a made-up, wrong syllabi, and do what is rational. “the syllabi was extended up to chapter fourteen, till page three-ninety-seven. they sent it in the group chat this morning but i’m sure you hardly have time even to think about something else except basketball,” 

you’ve known heeseung for two semesters but that’s for the people to say. the truth is, you don’t know him outside what he shows to everyone else. you see him come and go, spot him around the bar with his friends on weekends you pass by it. you know he skips classes and asks students for notes. it’s not necessarily from you, though you’d prefer if he would ask you since you’re the best student in the whole department, after him, as much as you hate to admit it. on some days, you see him in the library, earphones plugged in. if you manage to sneak a glance or two, you’d catch him watching the match recordings and taking notes, you wouldn’t know what notes someone could take from matches. in short, you don’t know heeseung more than how everyone knows him. coming to the shower rooms and notifying him about the test might just be a discreet attempt at striking up more conversations with him, but also, you’re just fine with him being the academic rival slash classmate that he is. 

“yeah, semi-finals,” heeseung shuts his locker close, a sigh falling off his lips just like the water drops falling on his shoulder from the tips of his hair, after a shower. “doesn’t help that they’re at the same time as the quarterly assessments. thank you for telling me even though it means you’ll end up losing the first position to me once again,” and of course, the heeseung you know wouldn’t waste an opportunity to strike up a competition. it would be a lie if you claim to hate it because despite the sour look on your face, a part of you loves these little academic races with him. heeseung makes you strive to do better, he’s like the driving force you lacked which made college a whole lot better. after all, where’s the fun in getting a perfect score with the bare minimum effort, without some challenges knocking at your door? 

“what can i do, i’m all about fair play,” there’s a subtle shade behind your words, reckoning to the multiple incidents of him ruining things for you. this could take a really nasty turn if you were to resort to his ways, except you won’t because you’re better than him. “good luck, and we’ll see who loses the first position to whom,” 

heeseung wipes his hair before switching to texting on his phone, the smile still adorning his face like a jewel. you assume it’s the delight from winning a match, it’s obvious. his eyes couldn’t help but sparkle at every little achievement, always looking forward to something more, something challenging, that’s lee heeseung for you— someone who knows he has an easier way around things but would deliberately walk down another path and test his limits. shocking how it took you one basketball match to see the passion he has for things he’s interested in, that he’s more than a sport jock or a straight nerd, he’s more than someone who takes courses to pass time, more than someone who is just a show-off.

“heeseung,” the dislike, the hatred, the envy, it might all be a lie. “well played today,” because in the end, there’s a minimal possibility that you’re leaving the room with nothing but the slightest of admiration for the guy who is nothing but an obstacle between you and that first position in upcoming finals in two months. 

and it would be a lie too to claim that your words didn’t catch heeseung by surprise.

II. RIVALRY, FEELINGS, ETCETERA. 

it has been a little over one day since heeseung’s conversation with you outside the shower rooms, twenty-seven hours to be exact. twenty-seven hours of him hearing the same last words over and over again, twenty-seven hours of him failing all and any attempts at straight thinking and twenty-seven hours of him not thinking about anything except you. all of it ends up in three hours of practice and not one good shot from heeseung. the sighs and snickers from teammates fill the court every few seconds— truthfully, they never leave. heeseung is simply too lost to pay attention to them. 

“heeseung, you good?” a pat on shoulder from jake and the words following soon after manage to pull him out of his spiral of thought, even if it’s for a brief second. 

“he’s not, won’t be anytime soon,” sunghoon replies as if the answer was on the tip of his tongue, waiting to be revealed. “yn came to watch the last match, after all,” there’s a smirk on sunghoon’s face, heeseung can tell it in the intonation of his words. 

jay pauses just seconds before going for a layup, joining the conversation. “wait, she did?” 

“yep, saw her standing next to that hanbin guy or something,” 

“mate, you cannot be acting like this over a girl and that too, four days before finals,” this conversation, as a whole, is beyond jake’s comprehension. a part of the reason could be because he joined the team late, thus missing out on a huge chunk of internal jokes and gossip and goes amidst the players. and no amount of reasons can convince him into thinking that it’s fine to act out-of-character before important matches just because your crush showed up at one of your matches. 

“she’s not just some random girl. she never attends matches, but she came to watch my match,” heeseung clarifies as if the reasons behind his antics are valid and acceptable. “you wouldn’t know how i feel right now,” 

“you’re on cloud nine, we know, your crush gave you the attention you’ve been lacking but trust me, she would ignore you just as efficiently if she sees you perform like this,” 

“she’s not a crush,” and despite it being a well known fact amongst the basketball team that heeseung has a thing or two for you, he always refuses to accept it. one can say it’s the pride thing. you barely even talk to him unless it’s about studies, and your conversations are mostly along the lines of who outdoes whom in tests and assessments. moreover, everyone knows heeseung is the reason why you’re the second best student in the department— as much as you hate to admit it, again— because he transferred and flipped your world, probably even dribbled around with it like a basketball. a word goes around every few days about you glaring at him in class, which is not true, you’re instead focusing your eyes on something in an attempt to think. he just happens to sit right in front of you and be the object of focus. heeseung might as well believe that you hate him, even though yesterday’s conversation was far from how people talk when they hate each other, and his assumptions could account for the constant words of denial that fall off his lips. 

jay snickers before landing a hook successfully. “yeah, and i’m a pigeon,” 

“oh, shut it, jay,” heeseung turns to look at the other boy. “she’s just someone i admire. have you read her essays? her papers? god, we’re a year away from graduation but she’s already writing mind-blowing papers, one of them was even published in the monthly issue of some magazine. she’s already on her best performance and still tries to do better, always down to guide juniors with lab work and also is on the research team for the paediatrics department at asan medical centre. all this, and she studies all day. if i were her, i’d pass out. i can’t go a day without entering the court,” 

“and he says he doesn’t have a crush oh her,” sunghoon rolls his eyes, it’s like if he heard another line of excuses from heeseung, he could see the back of his skull and have a look at hs big, fat brain. 

“because i don’t? you guys never had someone you admired so much that they practically became your role model despite being in the same year?” unlike other things that heeseung does, calling you his role model has a reason. first, it can give him a reason to talk to you. heeseung is almost convinced that you hate him, and if this persists, it would get harder and harder for him to approach you, but with the lie— half lie— of you being his role model and so wonderful that he couldn’t help but admire you from afar while trying to overcome his social anxiety gives him a reason to talk to you. plus, it sounds plausible, he doesn’t understand why his brother says it’s bound to fail. 

the second reason and more to do with his friend group. no one in his friend circle is capable of keeping a secret— jay ends up spilling tea unconsciously, jake tells one person who he trust and that person turns out to be the most untrustworthy person ever, beomgyu, well he’s on the team but telling him would be like standing on a stage and announcing to the whole campus, and sunghoon, he’s the mother, he cannot digest food without disclosing secrets. even if it’s common knowledge that heeseung has a tiny crush on you, denying it in front of the whole campus everytime one of them brings it up helps him with his reputation and fortunately, ends up keeping it a secret. besides, he’d rather have people tease him for calling you his role model than having a crush on you. 

“i surely don’t have someone i admire to the point i read all their papers and know each and everything they’ve volunteered for,” jay argues back, set on proving his point. “tell me what am i gonna do knowing that she’s on the paediatrics research team?” 

“i think this is the most i’ve known about yn ever since classes started and that too, because of heeseung,” beomgyu chuckles, earning a side eye from heeseung in the process. 

“enough, let’s get back to practice,” heeseung intervenes in an attempt to change the topic. he does not want his closest friends making fun of him for liking someone— it’s supposed to be human nature to have a crush. 

“you get back to practice because you’re the only one fucking up because of your silly little crush. i’m done, jay, call me when we’re having a practice match because i need to attend theology or my professor would write me up,” taehyun passes the ball to sunghoon, the latter yelping in surprise at the sudden yet successful catch. 

“i don’t have a crush—”

“of course, let’s get you back to practice,” jake cuts heeseung off mid sentence, moving back to take his position as sunghoon passes the ball to heeseung, who, as expected, misses the catch due to lack of concentration.

it’s going to be a long day for the team. 

. 

. 

.

“a little birdie told me you went to see heeseung in the shower rooms?” are the words you hear as soon as your classes are dismissed, miyeon walking up to you and hanbin discussing the set of questions your professor distributed just a few minutes ago. 

“i didn’t go into the shower rooms, i was outside, near the lockers,” and there’s a difference. to be in the shower room implies you were there in the shower, which definitely gives rise to several wrong ideas of different levels. specifically, you didn’t even enter the locker room. you were outside, leaning against the door, watching heeseung as he walked freshly out of the shower, a towel around his neck, you both strike up a small talk. yeah, that was the scene, not with you in the shower and whatever miyeon’s imagination leads to after that. 

“so you did go!” she claps her hands together as if it’s a celebratory occasion, turning her head to look at the boy next to you. “what were you saying about yn not having a crush, habin?”

“it’s not a crush, miyeon,” and it’s true— heeseung is not a crush. he’s a classmate, a rival, an over-qualified and impossibly competitive student, someone you would want to take your time to study. “what, i can’t even go to tell a classmate about the updated syllabus for a test now? i would’ve done that for anyone, not just heeseung,” 

hanbin sighs, packing his bag. “sure, but he’s in the groupchat. he could’ve checked it himself,” 

“um, i doubt that,” you’re preparing a powerpoint in your head, multiple slides on why you needed to do what you did. “he’s busy with basketball and i know how he gets when the matches are around the corner. don’t you remember how he skipped two weeks of classes straight because of matches last semester? and it’s the finals this time, i don’t think he even opens texts about anything that’s not basketball. i mean, he responded to my messages six days later because he was busy with practice,” 

you say it like you’ve known heeseung for a decade and have been through the ups and downs with him. you wouldn’t care about who does what in the classes, if it’s a paper plane flying right over you, landing just second to the first row of seats or if it’s someone being brave enough and playing music during lectures. biology, in your opinion, is a subject for those who are serious about doing something unique while staying in the academic field. you don’t encounter troublemakers often, once a blue moon if the heavens make a mistake. on other days, it’s quieter than a library, emptier than cemeteries at night. 

to think your life as a biotechnology major got interesting after heeseung switched majors is astonishing and equally debatable. 

“i don’t see why i should remember all that about ‘just a classmate’ but thanks for telling,” and before you know it, hanbin and miyeon are out of the class, on their way to wherever their next stop is. seriously, they’re having it easier than you. they go to games, movies, drink on weekends— something you haven’t had a taste on ever since the year started. somewhere, you could be blamed for your hectic schedules. studies, lab work, and thesis, they suffice for all the stress a student in post graduation studies can handle. volunteering and writing papers is on you, things wouldn’t have been arduous if you had decided to move slowly, one step at a time. sometimes, the hunger for more leaves you starving— quite literally. 

you spend an hour or so in the classroom along with a few other students, going through the same old routine of yours— watch videos, take notes, transfer them to your document in your own words and make it sound as innovative and convincing as possible. heeseung would be better at this than you. you’re exhausted to the point that accepting your defeat to him doesn’t even faze you anymore. he used to be a literature student, had english as a side course as an undergrad, he’s bound to be better than making essays sound they came right out of shakespeare's drafts, phrases and metaphors that would put fitzgerald to shame. 

you didn’t care about what went down in your classes until heeseung came along. call it craziness or the weird impression you have of students in your field, heeseung is far from the typical biotechnology student aiming for a postgraduate degree. he skips classes, plays basketball as if studies are a side business, and yet still manages to ace every test like an all-rounder. he shouldn’t even be in classroom, he should be in the labs, being the most important subject of studies. there are days you think of him as a social experiment— how quickly can a robot piss off a straight-A student with its impeccable skills— of course, the subjects wouldn’t know it’s a robot but you do, you’re almost convinced he is one. there’s no way he’s the top student with the amount of effort he puts in. one would claim that he studies after classes, at home slash dorms, but you can bet your life he doesn’t. there have been numerous instances when you’ve spotted him in the background of someone’s picture at a bar. he’s always with people, he has a humongous friend group, god knows how someone can live like that. at first, you were convinced he isn’t real, as worrisome as it sounds, and if he is real then he needs to be studied. 

which leads to what you’re doing right now— making your way to the basketball court. you don’t know how or why you’re doing it. you started with your studies, ended up thinking about heeseung, and now you’re on your way to the basketball court. although, it’s not half a bad idea, now that you think about it once again. 

your mind goes all the way back to when you watched him play for the first time, which was just a day ago actually. you don’t know anything about basketball, you don’t know much about heeseung either, but there’s one thing you’re sure of— heeseung is class and heeseung on the court, they’re different. you’ve noticed the way he clicks his pen relentlessly out of nervousness when he can’t solve a question, the way his back tenses up for a fraction of a second as soon as he’s asked to explain something. you’ve seen the hints of fear in his eyes when he asked you for notes last semester just three days before exams, scared that he would fail. heeseung isn’t sure of a lot of things and basketball isn’t one of those. 

“you’re not practising?” you ask him when you swim out of your thoughts, watching him climb up the bleachers and sit next to you. the court seems much better when it’s empty, free from the loud cheers of spectators, but that could be just you. 

“i was, as you see, but i saw you up here and thought it was time for a break,” you could see his teammates shake heads at him in disappointment, proceeding to continue with their practice. “what’s up?” 

you don’t respond to him and instead, take your time watching the others practise their shots. you watch the way one of them, who you think is taehyun, goes for a dunk, credits to hanbin for telling you names for a few shots. next to you, heeseung shouts out a tip or two for the boy for him to have an easier and effective approach at the said move. heeseung is good at dunks, you’ve heard it from students, you’ve seen it in the last match as well. just one shot was enough to tell you how good he is at it, it’s like basketball flows in his veins, like he can close his eyes and still manage to get a basket. 

your eyes ghost up the court and shift to him— there’s a content smile on his face, a relaxed posture as if there’s nothing for him to worry about. he takes a sip from his energy drink, you wonder if he, or anyone from the team, even gets time to have their meals. the expression on his face, it’s something you’ve never seen on him during lessons. it takes you back to the match, how he looked on court a day before, certain of every move he made, every step, every breath, without doubts, no second thoughts. you’ve done enough lab projects with heeseung to know how his hands shake when he’s preparing a slide or extracting a sample from a centrifuge, afraid that one wrong move and he would mess up the efforts of everyone in the group. that hesitation is nowhere to be seen on the court, gone like it has never existed. as if lee heeseung, the star student and player, has never had an encounter with nervousness and hesitation in his life. there’s a thin line between studies and sport for him, you finally realise it after much consideration. maybe, you’re going beyond your boundaries and making assumptions about a guy you barely know, even if you would never voice all these thoughts to him, you think you know the reason why there’s a different him on the stage when the ball is in hands.  

“how did you realise that you like basketball? you know, like it enough to devote so much of your time and have it alongside studies?” because even if biotech is something he’s studying and wants to make a career in, you guess that it’s just a source of satisfaction. in your eyes, through your perception, basketball is what makes him truly happy. 

you don’t know why someone wouldn’t pick satisfaction over happiness, especially when it’s coming with its hands full of opportunities to grab that bag.

“eh, i don’t have a sob story about it, if that is what you’re hoping for,” he chugs down the contents of the can before crushing it to the slightest, eyes squinting at the opposite wall before they move back to meet yours. “i never had to sit and think about basketball and studies, you know, as in how am i going to manage both of them. it just happened. i started playing basketball in middle school and it has been with me ever since,” 

heeseung’s side of the story is simple— a mediocre guy who was introduced to sports by his older brother and now, it’s one of the most important things in his life. middle school heeseung preferred staying in and playing video games instead of going out. in fact, middle school heeseung resembles you in all the ways that make him different from you right now. he has been good at learning and remembering things, he takes liking to things quicker than others do. basketball was like for him— easy, quick, fun, like a way to release all the stress after a long day at school. in heeseung’s story, there isn’t a main character who helped him choose the path he’s walking right now. instead, all he had was his family who introduced him to the various aspects and opportunities, and he simply ended up joining hands with the ones he liked, deciding to not let it go before the dead end. 

“i want to have that passion for things,” a soft laughter falls off your lips, it’s an attempt to make your sob story look less pitiful. “i used to paint and play piano— but painting, mostly, was really good at it. i learnt how to draw before i learnt how to tie my shoelaces. i couldn’t go a day without painting, but then highschool happened, i had pressure to do well, expectations from friends and family, had a dream outside painting, and now, i haven’t painted in years,” 

unlike heeseung, art started as more than just a side business to you. it’s not something you were introduced to in the middle of your life but rather is something you grew up with. you can blame or credit your mother for making paintings and having them in almost every corner of your house. it’s one of the reasons why at five years old you were beyond fascinated at all the patterns and colours. no one would’ve guessed that science would manage to sweep you off your feet right from the first grade, given the way your hands danced a duet to their own melody along with a paintbrush, as if each stroke has a conscious life of its own. no one would’ve guessed that your mother would tell you to stop painting and focus on studies, neither would they have known that she would become the reason why you no longer feel the same way about art. as stated before, life is unpredictable— because no one would’ve guessed that sitting here on the bleachers with heeseung and sharing a piece of your life would water the seeds of doubts in your heart, the ones that bloom at the sight of him.

he thinks your story is sad— with all due respect, without sarcasm, of course. it’s the best he can say. “i think it’s more of a ‘connection’ thing. you think you’ve lost the connection but you simply need to pickup a canvas and some colours to relink, if you get me,” because heeseung has had somewhat of a same experience, with music, and sitting front of a piano to play one of sibelius’ symphonies after senior year highschool finals was all it took him to find his lost interest in music. even though it’s nothing more than just a hobby, even if it's just something he considers as a way to pass time, heeseung knows how it feels to let go of something that is an integral part of one’s life. 

“it has always been about timing, heeseung,” you shake your head, trying to prove him wrong using your own arguments. “you think i haven’t tried painting again? i still have art supplies stacked up in my cupboard. it’s all about timing. when you like something, you only get a few chances to make sure it stays with you for a lifetime. how many people do you know who have given up on their hobbies because they claim to have lost interest? the thing is, the interest is still there, it’s the inability and fear of not being able to do it again. if you timing is off, no matter how much you try, things won’t work, and what you love will end up becoming a closed chapter of your life,” 

a pause. he sits still, eyes admiring your face while his mind is busy replaying your words in the back of his head. heeseung wonders how valid they are when it comes to people. he likes you, despite the constant denial which is only for show, by the way. it doesn’t take a scientist to read him. reading him isn’t even close to rocket science, he doesn’t understand how you haven’t caught up even after being incredibly smart. he has seen you hang out with hanbin— heeseung hates that guy, by the way. there’s no solid logic, it’s just that hanbin seems to be around you all the time and heeseung thinks of him as a leech sucking blood off its host. heeseung would never admit but it’s just his jealousy playing tricks on him, and even though it doesn’t look like you have any romantic feelings towards that guy, it would be fucking embarrassing for heeseung lose you to a guy who isn’t even half as qualified as him. ( yes, he is judging characters based on academic qualifications, no heeseung wouldn’t explain why )

“i like you,” and so, he lets his feelings win for once, deciding to let his heart take control instead, closing doors to any room for rational thinking like it never existed. “you said it was about timing, about trying hard enough and having only a few chances, perhaps, just one bullet, and i’m shooting my shot right now. i don’t want to remember you as a closed chapter of my life,” 

it would be such a waste of chemistry if you end up becoming just a closed chapter of his life. heeseung has done his research, more like reading tons of books and watching hundreds of movies to understand the potential that two academic rivals have. no one knows this, not even his closest friends, but heeseung’s favourite genre might simply be enemies to lovers and living that trope doesn’t sound as bad when it’s with you. he has spent hours thinking about the number of productive library dates you could have, working on projects together and brainstorming about the next biggest revolution in the RDT world, changing the public’s outlook at genetics forever. it sounds stupid and makes him sound even stupider, even as a lost cause, but heeseung doesn’t care. in his mind, it’s the best date someone could have. to live and become successful together, it sounds like a perfect plan to him.   

truthfully, you have always been a part of heeseung’s future, near or distant. he always always pictures you in his life, standing next to him during graduation, bidding goodbyes at farewell, exchanging shy greetings at reunions ten years later while reminiscing about everything he did to irritate you, that would sound embarrassing a decade later. your presence will always be significant to him, he just hopes to remember you as something more than just a rival, just a classmate he never really got to know, just a person he spent his two years hating upon, just a crush he didn’t get to confess to. 

the catch— heeseung has already started picturing his future and you are not even sure of your present— and while he is looking at you for an answer, you’re lost inside your head, looking for words to articulate. 

heeseung is someone you planned to stay away from for the rest of your university life. him stepping into your life already costs you a lot, namely: dropping in ranks and losing your infamous title. his actions cost you the time you could use to study, which is actually upon you because you can simply ignore him instead of spending hours on thinking about his hows, whens and whats. heeseung was supposed to be the academic rival slash classmate that he is, instead of allowing him to be something more, but beyond rivalry, feelings, etcetera. you knew the way you felt about him, even though you couldn’t be as certain as him, or even to claim you see him the same way he feels about you.

turns out, heeseung has always been sure of certain things in his life. 

“heeseung, i’m—”

“not sure? busy? stressed? i know you have a lot of things going on right now. take your time, study for the finals, finish your papers, sort out your own issues and then come back to me. i’ll be waiting,” it’s like he’s not only good at studying but also at reading minds, because heeseung seems to have guessed a part of exactly what you’ve been thinking. call it timing, jay calls him to get back to practice just a few seconds later— a perfect excuse to leave. “looks like my break is over,” 

you sit speechless, watching him walk away like an opportunity that just walked out of your hand. it feels like a slight defeat, like a test you failed when you could've scored better, if not a full score. it's funny because this wasn't a competition, you weren't rejected, more like you rejected him, but it still feels like he has the upper hand. it's funny and equally annoying because heeseung is supposed to be nothing more than just a nobody, somebody you aren't even supposed to spare two thoughts on, but here you are sitting with the guy with your feelings all over the place. 

“heeseung,” you stand up, your voice making him turn to look at you, both of you ignoring the sight of his teammates standing motionless in their positions, too stunned at your voice reverberating in the almost empty court. “let’s do this: if you manage to stand first in the finals, i’ll date you,”

a lowkey confession leading to a mere competition. his lips morph into a smirk, the ones he'd pass you before tests, an open challenge offered directly to you. “and if i don’t?”

and you mirror the same smirk back at him, you weren't going to back off simply because it's about the person you possibly have a crush on. “i become just a closed chapter of your life,” 

let the game begin. 

III. LIAR AND THE LOVER

despite heeseung’s sudden confession, you’re doing quite well, taking it better than expected. you had your moment of confusion back when the words of proposal fell off his lips— anyone would. after all, it’s lee heeseung we’re talking about. you can only imagine the saddened faces of his fangirls once they hear about him confessing to you.  

“jay told me you made a bet with heeseung?” hanbin’s question catches your attention as soon as he steps into the cafe, managing to turn a few heads towards you in the process. 

“you know jay?” 

he sits next to you, pulling out his laptop in a hurry. you can guess it’s because of his essay that’s due before six in the evening, one he could’ve written last night instead of getting wasted at his friend’s birthday gathering. “we share history, also, that’s not the answer to my question,” 

“it’s not a bet, ‘bin,” your words aren’t half wrong. “just a silly game, y’know? i didn’t even expect him to agree,” frankly, even you don’t know why or how you came up with such a bizarre idea in broad daylight. usually, people get bouts of excitement or embarrassment while confessing or being confessed to, but in your case, you jumped over the fence and made a proposal that you have only seen in fiction. 

“nah, no way you’re setting up your whole love life for failure and calling it a silly game,” the disappointment is evident in hanbin’s voice as his fingers danced over his keyboard, typing with a speed that could leave the trains behind. well, people tend to get like that when you have an assignment due and the deadline is just a few hours to go. you guess that he’s too busy to even listen to your reasoning, which is appreciated considering you have no reasoning as for why you did what you did. 

“you made a bet with heeseung,” you turn your head around, making the boy next to you do the same in the process. it’s miyeon— you should’ve seen it coming, honestly. your actions have consequences, as always, and one of them is dealing with her non-stop interrogation as if you’re the prime suspect for some gruesome crime and every question answered wrong opens gates to capital punishment. sometimes, you wonder why she didn’t go with studying law instead. 

“how do you know?”

“everyone knows, yn. it’s all they’ve been talking about,” she sighs, sitting opposite to you while taking a look at hanbin’s laptop. “even the football fanatics are talking about attending the game, god, hanbin we better hurry that day or we’re not getting a seat,” you should’ve seen it coming, honestly. miyeon might not be the most social person, but she definitely is the most updated. nothing escapes her, every tiny incident reaches her ears one way or another, and if not, then she just finds out about it using her sources, given you don’t know about her sources. it’s one of the reasons why you’re almost convinced that she runs a shady side business alongside her career in bioengineering. 

you take a sharp breath, going through the bunch of papers arranged in your file. “it’s not that serious. he confessed to me and i said i’d date him if he manages to secure the first position in the finals as well,” 

“you did that knowing he hasn’t been studying because of games while you’re studying like your life depends on it? there’s no way he’s going to be first, and everything aside, it was a wrong fucking move to play with his feelings,” play with his feelings— a pause, you don’t like how it sounds. you’re not playing with his feelings, that’s far from what you’re doing. it’s a game, a competition, new to your friends but you and heeseung have always been familiar with it. there’s an unspoken rule to test each other’s limits. the last time you and heeseung did something like this, it resulted with you writing ‘lee heeseung is smarter than ln yn,’ in bold on a sheet of paper and putting it on the notice board for the whole campus to see. in your eyes, it's history repeating itself yet again. sure, there is something else at stake, but the rules are the same, and you don’t know why your friends are acting like you’ve done something terribly unethical. 

“no one’s playing with his feelings, miyeon, and i know for a fact he’s making time to study for finals,” you clarify your side, slight annoyance evident in your voice. “besides, it doesn’t matter. it’s not like this is serious, i only did this to buy time to figure out my feelings while the game gives me a reason to study and not get distracted. you know how i get when i lose focus,” 

that could be the reasoning behind your actions, of course. even while sitting in a cafe with your friends and having a conversation that is about to make your blood boil, you’re thinking of heeseung in the back of your head. his words play over and over again like a broken record player, the image of him on court or studying pops up in your mind every now and then. obsession is a disease and you have it bad. it’s crazy to be thinking about someone so much without being absolutely floored for them. 

“so you’ll date him despite the outcome?” hanbin drags you out of the well of your thoughts, a question that leaves miyeon flabbergasted. 

“if i manage to figure out my feelings then of course,” a chuckle falls off your lips. “i’m telling you guys, it’s not that serious. i’m sure he knows it too,” and you’re really confident about this— it usually never ends on a good note. 

“and if he doesn’t? what if it’s serious for him? yn, you never know how one thing might affect someone, and feelings are not something to gamble on. you should’ve told him you need some time to think instead of giving him a false hope or whatsoever,” it’s now that you start having second thoughts. the next two hours go by amidst silence, a few small talks blooming here and there, but dissolving just as quickly within the ticking clock of deadlines for assignments and exams. 

it doesn’t take a scientist to know when miyeon is upset, for she isn’t the best at masking her emotions. through the sneaky glances at her that you’ve stolen over time, you can tell she’d rather spend the evening in silence than talk to you, which is a challenge with herself because she’s really talkative. it takes two to sing a duet, two to play and game, two people to make a relationship work. heeseung and you— the two of you are enough to make decisions for yourselves, decide what’s right and wrong and, something about miyeon questioning your choices doesn’t sit right with you. 

too many cooks spoil the broth, it’s the principle of your life, the words you’ve been following to this date. it was your decision to have a few friends instead of a fifty— quality over quantity, as one might call it— and there has never been a moment when you regretted having a handful of people to call friends. instead of consulting too many people about your major in university, you simply went with what your parents and homeroom teacher suggested. life has been good so far. the more the better is something that isn’t applicable in your case. instead of telling everyone about your dilemma regarding heeseung, you decided to keep it to yourself, eventually opening up to heeseung when the time comes. you’re doing just fine on your own, it doesn’t make sense to you why a third person’s opinion is making you doubt your decision making abilities that you’ve been so proud of. 

this is not a gamble, you tell yourself, it’s a fair play. you gave him options, he made the choice, it’s consensual. you didn’t force him into this game, he didn’t pressure you to respond, it’s a harmless competition that’s bound to have a positive outcome. you even spend a good fifteen minutes wondering if you should go back to heeseung and take it all back in case he finds it insensitive to put his feelings on the line. doing it in person seemed impossible so you resorted to texts, typing and deleting your message before giving up altogether. in your head, this was an okay decision. a sweet confession, a person with unsure feelings, a harmless competition. 

you hope it doesn’t backfire ten times worse. 

. 

. 

.

three days later, you find yourself on the way to basketball club rooms once again. you checked the court, it was empty, and your only option was to check the club slash locker rooms if you wanted to see heeseung. okay, first things first, you don’t miss him— maybe a little, but it’s because you miss hearing his weird ass answers in class even though they’re right. heeseung just has an unique approach to things, in other words he simply knows how to buy time and go in detail about things he’s an expert at to impress the professors. however, that doesn’t seem to be the case for him because he has approached you six times in the past three days, asking if you’re free to hangout. 

you like to think he misses you or that his requests were because he wanted to make sure you don’t study and lose to him, either could be true. knowing heeseung, he’s capable of going both ways. whatever may be the reason, you turned him down all six times, and it’s not because you have something against him— of course, you don’t. that’s common knowledge by now— your reason for not hanging out with him is studies, as expected of you honestly. the bet aside, you had way too many chapters to learn before exams and all heeseung ever does is take up your headspace everytime you sit down with your books spread open. avoiding him in thoughts wasn’t possible so avoiding him in person was your last straw. 

which leads to the present : you rushing to heeseung, again,  not because you miss him but because you need his help, though one of the reasons could be that you feel bad for turning him down six times. you can hear muffled laughter from a distance as you approach the club rooms, a bang against one of the lockers, a loud profanity that follows afterwards. their humour is beyond your level of understanding. 

“heese— oh, um—” you greet and turn away just as quickly when you realise that one of them is shirtless. it’s obviously heeseung, you can’t mistake his face for someone else. and you’re guessing he’s the last one to come out of shower because everyone else is dressed, maybe he’s someone who likes to take his time showering— you seriously need to stop thinking before your imagination goes bonkers. “sorry, can you come outside for a second when you’re ready?”

another round of laughter follows, more like teasing remarks because you can swear you heard a few of them refer to you as his girlfriend, and it gets you a little flustered, you won’t lie. you even hear one of them yell ‘ooh, get it, heeseung,’ as heeseung walks out, fixing his t-shirt, responding back with his middle finger up at whoever made the comment. 

“hi,” his voice isn’t much louder than a whisper, eyes fluttering between you, the floor, and his teammates who pretend to not look when you peek inside. there’s a soft smile on his face— it’s cute, you think, and then rethink what you just thought. heeseung is, well, not cute— usually. he’s good-looking, handsome, hot, sexy, even, since you’re on the topic of finding adverbs that suit heeseung. cute is rarely one of them, you don’t think you’ve seen him as flustered as he is right now— rubbing his nape, a tint of pink on his cheeks, avoiding eye-contact— that’s far from the heeseung you’ve been seeing for past two semesters. 

“hi, can you send me the pdf of the extra set of questions that prof sent last week? i think i accidentally deleted it while clearing up my storage,” you get straight to the point, trying not to waste much of your precious time. “i could’ve texted you but figured you’d be too busy with practice to check messages,” you remember what happened last time; he took six days to reply to your texts. you’re quite a patient person otherwise but in this case, you’re in dire need of questions to practise for tomorrow’s mock. 

“ah, sure, give me a minute,” and he pulls out his phone, scrolling through an ocean of files and documents to look for the one you need. you do think he’s gorgeous though, it’s a well known fact that he’s stunning, but you think this look of heeseung surpasses the other ones quite easily— hairs wet after shower, partially covering his forehead, a white t-shirt that’s slightly wet near the shoulders because of the water dripping down— you wish he’d at least dry his hair before catching a cold. “actually, i would have replied to your texts if you had— oh, yes, there you go. do you want me to email it to you or…?”

“oh, just texts would be fine, thank you,” 

“done,” a pause, you feel his eyes on you as you go through the pdf to take a brief look at the contents. “do you want to go for a walk? or are you getting back to studies?” at this point, you’re sure that question is a way to tease you about your obsession with studies. heeseung may think you’re overdoing it because you want to win, but it’s no more than the normal amount of hours you spend studying. he never paid you any attention to care about that. 

“no, i’m done for today, actually,” and that’s a big fat lie considering you were planning to solve some questions and revise two chapters before leaving the campus, but it’s fine. you feel bad for rejecting him six times either way. 

never in your life did you imagine that you’d be going on a walk with heeseung. it’s nothing serious, you just didn’t think there would be a day where you two would have normal people conversation while doing normal people activities instead of trying to disparage each other based on grades and academic performances. to think about it now, heeseung isn’t half bad, it was all in your head. it’s not like you had vile assumptions about him, you did find him annoying and way too prideful— anyone like him would be, actually, and heeseung is still quite humble about his achievements because if it was someone else, they sure would have made it everyone’s problem. 

actually, heeseung is insufferable as well. you remember your first encounter with him, first and so far, the worst— in the laboratory. you and heeseung sat next to each other and when the professor asked him to briefly explain his experiment, you realised it’s oddly similar to yours. you had accused him of cheating, like any sane person would, which led to him getting two scores less than a perfect. he only lost one score because of you, actually, and that too because you were professor’s favourite and heeseung was new to the department. the other score, you don’t know where he missed, but that incident led to heeseung deleting your powerpoint thirty minutes before your presentation, which led you stealing his notes and selling it some junior through an undercover twitter account, which led to the professor asking you to help him with notes before exams, and everything ultimately led to the realisation that heeseung is actually quite decent if you behave with decency as well. the give and take is serious for him, because he gave you notes and so, you had to take his offer of going on a walk. even though it seemed like you had a choice, a part of you knew it was a mirage. you would’ve ended up on a walk with heeseung one way or another. 

“i come here whenever i’m tired or just not feeling well,” he says and you wake up from your daydream of memories you shared with heeseung. the way he phrases his words makes it sound like he has brought you to one of his most secret locations, one that no one knows except taehyun, probably, considering they’re close friends, but in reality, it’s the playground you pass by every single day on your way from your apartment to university. 

“oh, are you okay? are you nervous for tomorrow’s match?” you continue, deciding you shouldn’t ruin his favourite place for him. honestly, no one would’ve guessed that lee heeseung would come to a children’s park on bad days. 

“actually, this walk was for you, you looked like you’d pass out if you spent another hour in front of books,” and you’re done, standing speechless with your eyes wide open at his words that he says with a victorious smile on his face. “you should start taking breaks, yn. it’s not a bad thing to go home earlier when you’re tired,” 

he’s right, oh, you know he’s absolutely right about everything he just said, from passing out to going home. a part of him probably even feels glad to have you out on his little walk with him, you’re getting your well deserved rest, thanks to him. heeseung might even ask if he can walk you home considering you’re ‘done for today,’ which is very thoughtful of him— but what does this make you? a liar? miyeon was right, you’re gambling, even though it’s not that serious. so far, you’ve lied about being done with your studies and the bet you made with heeseung because at this point, it’s more like a prank, except it’s not funny and that it might end up with him getting upset with you because tomorrow is basketball tournament’s finals and you’re here wasting his time, all because you lied. 

a liar and a lover, on a date at children’s park— match made in theatre club, you’d say. 

“are you sure this is not your way to manipulate into not studying and losing to you, just so you can date me?” you try to play it cool, knowing very well that it can be one of his tricks or whatsoever. after all, it’s the same heeseung who made you trip in front of your class just three days after being transferred. 

“i was being genuine but it doesn’t sound like a bad idea,” of course, it doesn’t. he gets to win, after all. “can i walk you home?” just as you had guessed. 

“i would love to go home but my bag is still in the library,” you had considered taking it with you, actually, but dismissed the thought once you realised you had to come back to the library and continue with your studies. albeit, you’re not studying, that’s on you for lying into oblivion and giving into his requests.  

once again, you two are back to walking, this time back to the university campus. it’s nice, having a walk with heeseung, it’s sweet, slow, comforting, like slow music flowing around and engulfing you in its arms. the unsaid words are weighing on your shoulders, you can feel the pressure, but it’s not awkward. above the busy hustle of the city and blaring horns, it’s a quiet world with heeseung, it’s nice, like a warm hug after a long day. you didn’t think you had it in yourself to spend a minute next to him without overthinking and possibly starting a banter. you didn’t think heeseung had it in him either, to make a walk feel so close to home.  

“so, how are you coping knowing you’re going to lose once again?” and, it’s back again. everything is a hoax actually— his looks? a trap. his smile? a trap. it’s all a facade because once he opens his mouth, nothing but horseshit comes out of it. 

“very well, in fact, because i know i’m the one getting that first spot this time,” call it overconfidence but you really do think you’ll get your title back this time. you’ve been studying well and hard enough, solving questions and going through every extra set of notes and exercises your professor sent. although, you would claim to beat heeseung had you been prepared or not because it’s fun messing with him. 

“i’d rather have you show some mercy, in that case,” before you know it, you’re already standing in front of the library. “academic defeat and a heartbreak, it already sounds painful. i hope you go easy on me,” it’s sarcastic, of course, all these saccharine words of confessions made you forget how he is under the layers of smiles and winks that adorn his face. a session full of silence follows, the comforting tranquillity morphing into something tensed as he steps closer, your breath getting caught up in your throat as your mind dysfunctions— it’s the effect he has. 

“heeseung,” you put a finger on his lips— the only thing between him and you, the only thing helping you stay sane and composed at the moment, because only you know the struggle of pulling yourself together while standing inches away from heeseung as he grabs your wrist and plants a soft kiss on your finger before removing it from his lips. 

“why, that’s unfair. you get to see me anytime you want while i have to wait because you’re busy studying, you even get to see me shirtless, and i can’t even get a kiss?” and you hate the look in his eyes, you hate how close he is standing and how it makes your heart go crazy. this isn’t even the beginning and you hate how you feel like you’ve already lost, and you hate how confident he is with every breath he breathes against your lips. “just kidding, see you tomorrow,” 

and you hate how this is where you realise that you’ve fallen deep, and you’ve fallen hard. 

IV. PLANET TO A SUN

heeseung has been thinking about the walk for an hour and twenty-seven minutes— actually more, ever since the moment he got home last night, but that is how long he has been practising for, eyes on the ball but mind revolving around you like a planet to a sun. you had texted him about a rule this morning— no kissing before finals. actually no kissing before we start dating, lee— your exact words. they have been holding him back from thinking straight, even made him practise an apology while looking in the mirror if in case his actions offended you in any way. lost in thought, heeseung manages to get another shot in. that’s twenty-third in a row ever since he stepped on the court, which is unbelievable, even for him. 

“is it just me or did heeseung’s performance improve overnight?” jake looks up at jay, fastening his shoelace, a chuckle escaping his lips that goes unnoticed. 

the latter offers a hand to jake, helping him stand as they share a laugh before jay passes him the ball. “well, of course it will. he has to impress his girlfriend today at finals,”

“she’s not my girlfriend,” heeseung grunts almost as if hearing you and the word girlfriend in the same sentences cuts ten years from his lifespan. he knows it doesn’t, he’d kill to call you his’. the reason behind his edgy behaviour is your text and the weird rule you’ve inserted in an already weird bet— it’s not like he minds it, the bet, obviously. heeseung definitely minds not getting to kiss you for the next few weeks. 

“yet,” jay clarifies, emphasising enough for the world to understand that his words are supposed to be in italics. “she will be if you score more than her in finals, which i don’t think is possible because unlike you, she has been studying all day everyday. i don’t know how she’s still alive,” and jay isn’t half bad student himself. juniors in business have his name residing on the tips of their tongues. he simply thinks you’re a freak for being in no clubs and not participating in anything that doesn’t involve studying. 

“she’s the top student for a reason,” jake adds. 

“i am the top student,” and hearing his friends call you the top students hurts heeseung’s ego a little bit. crushes aside, you’re his rival before his girlfriend, and you’re not even his girlfriend. you’re basically just a rival. “also, it’s not hard to study all day if you’re used to it,” 

and jay scoffs in disbelief. “right, you would know something about it, lee i can’t go a day without playing basketball heeseung,” 

“hey, everyone,” your voice reverberating in the court is what stops heeseung from responding to jay with a snarky remark. “just wanted to wish you all goodluck. i really hope you guys win the tournament or else, it’s going to be hard for heeseung to deal with two loses after i beat him in finals as well,” 

heeseung rolls his eyes in disbelief, you hear taehyun exclaim that he has been team yn since the very first day, a claim that few others proceed to back up, especially sunghoon, with his own lore of how he prays everyday for you to win the bet with heeseung. you’re honoured to receive such support, to some extent. a part of you still wishes for the whole thing to be a secret restricted to just heeseung and you but again, it was your fault for placing bets in court, in front of the entirety of the basketball team to witness, even their coach. 

“you’re a little too confident, don’t you think so?” he smirks, taking a few steps towards you with the ball supported between his arms and torso. “let me know where you’d like to go for our first date,” and it turns out heeseung is just as confident about winning the bet as you, perhaps even more. you are not surprised, being defending champions does that to people, or so you believe.

“mhm, let’s have you score a date first, lee,” you would have loved to talk more but decide to bid your goodbyes as soon as hanbin’s message pops up on your phone, the little scowl on heeseung’s face going unnoticed the moment he sees his name on your phone screen. heeseung would never in his wildest dream confess to being jealous— it doesn’t even make sense for him to be jealous of hanbin because he confessed to you, and you seem to like him back. his worries are pointless just like the useless art projects his art teacher used to assign in middle school. 

your fingers dance on the keyboard of your phone as you reply to hanbin, the subtle taps synchronous with your steps with you rushing across the quadrangle, taking the nearest flight of stairs to the library. you wanted to spend the day at your apartment since classes are suspended for the rest of the day on account of the match. however, hanbin managed to convince you into coming to the library to help him with a few assignments here and there. you’re not opposed to studying on days-off, in fact you think it’s better since you get all twenty-four hours to yourself instead of investing any of it in classes. the match gave you an excuse to call in for a break, or an excuse to take your time choosing the outfits as if you’re the main character on such a big day. 

the librarian gestures to you to slow down the moment you almost avoid slipping on the tiled floor, in the process of holding the door frame to stop yourself, an embarrassed apology makes its way from you to her as you spot hanbin in the further corner with his airpods plugged in. your first instinct is to scare him from behind but the thought leaves your mind as soon as you remember that you’re in a library, and getting kicked out on a day that has been treating you well so far doesn’t sound so smart. 

so, you settle with approaching normal, instead of pulling random stunts, pulling out the chair opposite to him quietly to not make any sounds, mumbling a soft ‘hi’ as he takes out one of his airpods. “where’s miyeon?” 

“sick, she’s skipping today’s match as well,” hanbin replies, eyes fixed on the notes he's copying from the laptop to loose sheets of paper, before looking up at you with another question on the tip of his tongue. “are you two still not talking?” 

“we did, none of us brought up what happened that day, though,” you shrug as if it doesn't bother you anymore, as if you don't want it to bother you more than it already does.

miyeon and you have known each other since university, she was a senior in undergrad course who was forced by financial circumstances to skip one academic year, thus rejoining in third year along with you and hanbin. seeing her was less frequent while she was still a senior, although you're not sure if you've spent more than three days away from her ever since postgrad school started. a heavy tension masks all your conversations with her, over texts or in person, and even though you're trying to act like the small talks with her don't hurt you, a part of you is starting to miss the best friend you used to talk to all night, about wasted matters and sharing useless gossip.

silence fills in for the lack of words between you and hanbin and you allow it to do so, deciding not to disturb the decorum of the library anymore. you scroll through your phone mindlessly, there’s nothing to look at except people going crazy about the evening's match. you even manage to stumble upon a thread of arguments featuring students of your university and the one the team is going against. it’s all empty threats, seriously, ‘kys’ and ‘ur mom’s in my bed’ aren’t even insults at this point. they’re funny, sometimes, but you’ll never understand why or how they ended up being insults. ( honestly, you don’t see the potential ) 

“are you serious about heeseung?” a crack in the ice, hanbin's question catches you off guard, with a number of questions running back and forth in your mind before you settle with the one to respond with in return.

you blink in confusion. “i guess so, why?” 

“nothing, it’s just i never expected it to be him, y’know, considering your history,” you think it's unavoidable, questions along these lines, they would've been asked sooner or later. truthfully, even you didn't expect yourself to fall for heeseung.

your history, what even is there to call history except blood and war? both you and heeseung have been up each other's neck from the moment your gazes collided. it sounds like a stupid beef between highschool students, almost embarrassing now that you both are nearing post graduation. with all the days that you’ve spent thinking about ways to get on his nerves, or worse— ruin his projects, it wasn’t just you who resorted to ruining each other’s hard work— no one would have known you and heeseung would ever end up on this note, with him chasing you and you pinning for him, all under the blankets of a silly bet.

“well, as i always say, hanbin, life is unpredictable,” there’s a smile dancing on your lips, a dazzling hint of factuality in your eyes. “besides, he’s a nice guy behind all the annoying things he does. i think he's pretty serious about me, or us, too,”

hanbin has noticed the way you smile at your phone. it doesn’t always happen, only when you’re talking with miyeon or a few friends from highschool, now heeseung ranks up on that list as well. he’d be lying if the uneasiness doesn’t bother him, it’s bound to surface when he remembers all the nights you spent complaining about heeseung. actually, the rant session included hanbin, you and miyeon, but she would rather go to sleep than listen to you complain like a child for hours on roll, leaving you and hanbin driving the conversation. he has lost count of the amount of times you’ve ended up crying in the process, or the amount of times he has hung up on you only to show up at your place late at night to make sure you’re doing okay, and the nights you two have spent watching movies and falling asleep on the couch, followed by the mornings gone by with miyeon being salty over the fact that none of you invited her to your impromptu nightover. 

the thought of heeseung confessing to you still surprises hanbin, it’s one of the things he deemed as impossible since forever. and he can go, warn heeseung about hurting you, dropping all sorts of threats at the boy. hanbin can go on for hours about how he would make heeseung’s life a living hell if he ever broke your heart. he can prove the righteous friend that he is, but at the end of day, he would always be the third person between you and heeseung. hanbin can only assume so much about you two, not even sure if all of it is right. he can only wish so much for you to have eyes for someone else. 

and so, all he does is shoot a smile at you. “i hope he is,” 

. 

. 

.

the only time you step out of the library is exactly three hours and thirty three minutes later, to sprint towards the basketball knowing that you absolutely cannot afford losing seats in the first two rows. fortunately, or unfortunately enough, you’re not the only student going crazy about the game. you can swear at least a dozen came out of the library right after you, even though all of them may not attend the game.

you’re already running late— well, still twenty minutes early but that doesn’t give you much time to meet the team and secure the front row seats. and meeting the team is an excuse, let’s be honest. you want to meet heeseung, have a quick private talk, kiss him good luck, you don’t know; you wouldn’t. your head is in a mess, behind you hanbin is yelling for you to slow down as you run down the stairs. half of you is worrying about seats and the other half is wording her sentences out for you to say when you meet heeseung, and the team. you can wish them all the luck in the world, after all, it’s the university team and you would love to see them win. the whole craze about sports doesn’t feel real and worth the hype but things start coming full circle when you’re the one watching. slowly, as one would expect, but you are starting to understand why everyone goes bonkers during tournament season. 

“damn, slow down,” hanbin huffs, grabbing your arm for you to slow down. “it’s not like they wouldn’t start without you,” 

“that’s the problem. what if they start without me?” but your legs wouldn’t rest before arriving at the court. you know your words sound funny, painting you as if the result of today’s match depends on you. it feels crazy to be this excited about a mere basketball match, nonetheless you know it’s not the match you’re actually looking forward to. “besides, i’m more worried about seats,” 

“i asked hao to save two for us. he’s friends with heeseung, i think he will do that much for his friend’s girlfriend or whatsoever,” you see him roll his eyes at his own words, proceeding to slide his hands into yours before continuing on your way to the venue, this time a little slower. 

you have heard about hao from hanbin and miyeon a few times. he’s pursuing a masters in music, wants to teach violin professionally according to hanbin. miyeon has even attended one of his recitals last autumn, something from sibelius, if you remember correctly. he is popular, and you see the depths of his popularity as soon as you spot him on the bleachers, surrounded by people left and right, one of them trying to grab a seat next to him before he points at you and hanbin, and the crowd goes mild, ultimately dissolves as the players step in. 

“i didn’t know heeseung had a girlfriend,” you don’t know what you were expecting, perhaps a few words of greetings, hi’s and hello’s since you two are meeting for the first time. anything, except that question. 

“believe me, i didn’t either,” and why even is heeseung going around telling everyone that you’re his girlfriend?        

the court breaks into cheers as soon as the game commences and yet, it feels a little quite. perhaps, it’s miyeon’s absence getting to you. had it been her next to you instead of hanbin and hao— who are busy amongst themselves by the way, talking about anything but the match— she would’ve been eating snacks non-stop, giving you a little talk on every player, like a resume. it’s take her fifteen minutes to give you summaries on players from each team, their achievements, girlfriends and probably even mothers, who knows. although, you haven’t attend many games with miyeon to pinpoint every good and bad thing about her impromptu presentation, her unofficial commentary helped you sit throughout the match. it feels incomplete without her, not just the game but days in general. it’s definitely her absence making your surroundings feel quieter. 

so, long story short, you don’t have a clue of what’s happening. well, you do, a little. you know what a dunk and a three pointer is besides the names of players on your university team, but that basically sums up your knowledge about basketball. all sorts of voices are mingling in the air but you’re busy following the ball around the court with your gaze, occasionally cursing and clapping when the team misses a close basket or scores a comparatively difficult basket. the tension between the two teams keeps rising as the game continues. you notice sunghoon groan in disappointment as one of the players from the opposite team gets in a banked shot from the wings, scoring two points for the team. a part of the crowd goes quieter at jay’s failed attempt to save the score for his team, beomgyu patting on jay’s back while muttering something along the lines of ‘good job.’ involuntarily, your eyes travel to heeseung, whose expression stiffens at the sight of the scoreboard displaying a two-point lag.

a time out call follows as the players move back to their respective ends, and it physically hurts you to see the difference in atmosphere between the two teams, or the frowns on the faces of players on your university team. for a second, you even consider walking down to them as they gather around the coach, grabbing water bottles and towels while nodding at the coach’s words between heavy breaths. you catch jake looking in your direction for a brief second, a smile makes its way to your lips before he responds with one as well, proceeding to nudge heeseung’s arm and pointing in your direction. his actions are left with no response— it hurts a little, although you are aware that anything else falls after winning the match on his priority list— and they get back on the court as the game resumes. 

“they need to catch up soon,” hanbin mutters, taking a look at the clock. and even if it’s just a two point difference, you’re starting to understand why it creates a huge gap. it’s almost like scores on a test. going from eighty-three to ninety then hundred is easier than going from ninety-eight to hundred. greater differences are easier to overcome; for you have so many rooms for improvisation and thus, so many chances at closing the gap. the closer you are to a perfect score, the narrower are the chances and it’s almost impossible to pin-point and work on every single weakness of yours within those two points. you’re pretty sure your words would hardly make sense to anyone else, but nonetheless you understand why everyone on the court looks more attentive, probably like meerkats on the lookout for preys and predators. 

much to your disappointment, the play continues with the rivals dominating the court, giving low to zero chances for the opposition to get their hands on the balls. you even see a few of them trying to provoke heeseung, the latter trying his best to not react but you’re afraid he would start throwing punches if another one of the players passed by him with his middle finger up heeseung’s face. one of them, who you assume is the captain judging from the way he has been directing his team, goes in for a hook, immediately getting blocked by taehyun as the court bursts into loud cheers once again. 

“that was a little too far for a hook,” hao comments, and you nod as if you understand his words and know exactly how a hook is supposed to be. you didn’t even know about a hook until now, and you’re still not sure what it is since all the shots look almost the same to you. 

from that second onwards, it felt as if the control transferred to heeseung’s teams as they transition quickly from defence to offence, making quick passes and running the court, practically catching the opposite team off guard. jay passes the ball to jake, who takes a leap from half court, driving towards the unguarded basket. a quick layup using the backboard, as you hear hanbin name the shot, and basically everyone runs to jake for scoring two points for the team as the scoreboards displays a sour tie. it’s a seemingly easy match after that, especially when the players look like they’re back into the game. sunghoon passes the ball to heeseung who goes for another layup and fails, much to his despair, before going in for a dunk and scoring yet another basket for the team, leading it by two points. you see him passing a cocky smirk at the player from before as jake pats him in the back with heeseung almost stumbling in the process. 

heeseung shoots you a wink before focusing on sunghoon’s words as they get back into position, and even amidst the butterflies you got by his recent actions, you don’t miss the way he stretches his fingers, ring-finger specifically, pointing something about the movements to jay before getting his focus back to the game; and you just hope it isn’t what you’re thinking it is. 

it’s a slow game after that, no points scored, four fouls with two of them back to back, one by each team respectively. the frustration increases on the court, evident in each step taken by the players, groans and sighs fill the atmosphere and get louder than the cheers that have gone quieter once again. it isn’t until a few minutes later that all the players run to the front court as soon as they see an opportunity for a fast break with taehyun taking the lead, passing the ball to jay just a few seconds after, who passes it to heeseung— and call it the lack of efficiency or bad timing, heeseung bumps into one of the players from opposite team, an uneven balance, and falls directly on his right knee, as one of the opposite players throws the ball off-bounds to stop the play. 

the medics take him to the benches, bringing ice packs and everything else before escorting him inside. you considered following him inside before hanbin tells you that the officials aren’t letting anyone meet him, probably until they receive updates of his situations. you bite the inside of your cheeks in nervousness, palms sweating as if you’re about to appear for an exam you weren’t informed about until five minutes ago, or maybe it’s even worse. the murmurs from the crowd or the group of girls behind you, to be more specific, do nothing but make you feel more anxious. zhang hao, being a sports medicine student, tries to give you an insight on heeseung’s injury, telling you that even if he fell directly on his knee and it could result in a patella fracture, or perhaps just dislocation— words that compel you to yell at him to shut up before he ensures that heeseung will be fine. hanbin does that for you, noticing your slightly panicked state, telling hao to talk about anything but anatomy of how badly a simple injury can affect a player, and when sunghoon and taehyun return to the officials with an update on heeseung and a pale face, you knew you had to run to your heeseung as if it’s the end of the world. 

“heeseung,” you breathe out, stepping aside to let the nurse from the infirmary leave before you walk closer to him. the awkwardness between you and other players, namely jay, jake and beomgyu, besides the coach, rings all the bells to remind you that coming here was probably a bad idea. well, of course, you like heeseung and are worried for him, but the tension in the air makes you feel like you showed up uninvited. “are you okay?” 

you ask nonetheless, voice close to a whisper, as you stand at a distance, looking at the bruise on his knee. the smell of antiseptic spray fills your lungs, nose scrunching at the way you could almost taste the diclofenac at the back of your mouth. 

“not really,” he inhales sharply, exhaling a reply once everyone left, knowing they had a game to get back to. “look at you, are you worried for me?”

“i’m regretting coming here now,” liar. and then you let the silence carry the conversation with itself for the next few minutes. you don’t know what to say— what can you say? all you do is sit next to him, hands brushing against his as his winces at the slightest touch. heeseung opened his mouth to say something before dismissing his words with a heavy sigh the very next moment. you almost hold his hand— almost, thinking of holding it ever so carefully as if it’s glass with thousands of cracks, and then you’d kiss it ever so delicately, you did it— almost, but then, it’s just you getting upset over the fact that he played even after hurting his hand.

“so, they’re benching you,” you say in an attempt to strike a conversation, a little conflicted with your choice of words, wondering if he even wants to hear about something related to the match at the moment. 

“of course,” he says it like a matter of fact, a fact whose impact doesn’t seem to touch him. “please tell me they have jeno substituting for me. i’ve barely been getting updates in the group chat,” the least he expected was for one of the substitute players to keep him updated about the game through texts, and heeseung planned to get back to the court until you showed up, taking a seat next to him on the benches in the locker room. you don’t understand why they didn’t take him to the infirmary, and decided to think it’s because locker rooms are closer and if there’s anything heeseung should not be doing right now, it’s moving his injured leg. 

you shrug. “i don’t know, i’ll ask hanbin,”

“thanks,” and even though heeseung isn’t really fond of your friend for reasons that are widely known, at least amidst his friend group, he really hopes hanbin is of some use. 

it’s quiet now. you can hear faint cheers buried in the layers of walls and rooms that stand between the court and the locker room, a few muffled footsteps filling up any spaces left in the air, here and there. you assume it’s his fans trying to check up on him, as annoying as it sounds to you for you’d rather have this moment with him all to yourself. you hear him sigh heavily once every few minutes, trying to ball his injured fingers up in a fist to allow the slightest of moments and ensure healthy circulation, a soft hiss leaving his lips at the sensation of striking pain shooting up his nerves. unlike heeseung, your attention shifts to his injured knee with a faint chill running down your spine as you look at his bruise, which now looks more bluish than it was when you had arrived, signifying the possibly alarming amount of blood that has now clotted in the tissues. 

“you can cry,” nudge him with your shoulders and heeseung directs you to the most disgusted face in return. “what? it’s the finals and you’re injured so you won’t be able to play today. any normal person would sob their eyes out,” 

“i’m not a kid, yn,” he nudges back, a chuckle slipping off his lips. 

“trying to act all cool but you’re probably going to cry yourself to sleep for days, or even weeks,” he holds out his hand for you to hold it as you stand up, an action you give into without opposition, intertwining your fingers with his. there’s a smug smile on your face and he sees it as well, although only you know the way your heart is somersaulting at the way your hands fit his’ like pieces of a puzzle. “i know what you are, heeseung,”

he scoffs at your words, hands still entwined, a lovesick glow in his eyes— it’s your first time seeing this side of him, you’re glad to be one of the people to see it. silence has never felt so comfortable to you. the distant noise from court feels like it rushed on its way to you and heeseung, and stopped at the doors, as if you two are beyond its reach. you might never say it to him, but everything seemingly ceases to exist when you’re with him, and the world feels timeless. it’s embarrassing, cringe, and it’s making your heart beat faster with the way he looks at you. “you need to shut up,”

“make me?” a quick response, one that was supposed to be a joke, a joke which was supposed to be accompanied by laughter and brushed off as another baseless comment, but another second passes as you continue to look into his eyes, and you realise you’re actually considering it— leaning in towards him while giving his hand a light tug to pull him towards you the slightest, your other hand cupping his face as your gaze ghosts up his eyes and settles on his lips. when it comes to him, rationality is out of the window and your lips are on his’ planting the softest kiss at the corner of his mouth before pulling away like nothing ever happened.  

a pause; you could hear the silence ringing in your years, eyes fixed over him as if you’re spilling all your secrets to him, waiting for him to take a hint. “what even happened to the ‘no kissing before finals’ rule?’”

and you realise you had actually forgotten about it, for better and never for the worse, because as you said and as he repeated, it’s all about timing. empty locker rooms, quiet hallways with not a soul around, your hand in his, his eyes on you— the timing couldn’t be better, and you know better than messing up and letting heeseung become just a closed chapter of your life. “yeah, i could care less about that,”

there are a lot of things you could care less about, like the cold metal that stings against your back as he pushes you against the lockers, or the fact that anyone could walk in, any minute; you don’t care, don’t know. his lips are on yours and his hands are on your waist, it feels euphoric the way his lips move in synchrony with yours, fitting like puzzle pieces. heeseung tugs you closer by your waist, a faint gasp escaping your mouth that dissolves immediately into your breaths mingling together. it’s intoxicating and is making you go insane, the way he manages to sweep you off your feet with the smallest of actions and simplest of words— from the very first day. 

heeseung was right, and you as well, it’s all about timing. from the day you first looked at him in a seminar, to the day he switched to biotech— you plan on asking him why because so far, all your guesses seem implausible— down to the day he confessed, leading up to this moment with you pressing against the lockers and his lips against against yours. heeseung sighs softly, cupping your cheeks and tilting your head to deepen the kiss, and you could feel the heat of his breath against your lips when you pull away just when it was about to get better, avoiding his lips when he leans in to chase yours barely a millisecond later. your eyes shift down to his hand, one that has been injured during the game, and you proceed to hold it carefully, brushing your lips over the bruise lightly before adorning it with feathery kisses as his other hand travels down to your waist once again, pulling you closer. “you should go easy on yourself,”

you whisper the exact same words he had told you a day ago, traversing your eyes back towards him while your gazes have a conversation so foreign, as if it’s only for the silence to understand. and it’s quite literally just the two of you basking in silence as he rests his head against the crook of your neck, planting a few kisses here and there before pulling you even closer, as if you were going to disappear any second. “i think, i’m in love with you,” 

and timing be damned— because heeseung confesses to you once again, and then he’s kissing you once again, slowly, sweetly, in love, and timing doesn’t even matter because every second feels right with him. with the same air of delighted indifference he comes to know well in the gleam of your touch and the curl of your lips, you simply kiss him back as if to say, hate to admit, but i’m in love with you too. and timing really be damned because you hear loud rounds of cheers as you feel his shoulders stiffen. a slight disconnection between you and heeseung makes you wonder if he’s thinking about the results of the game, which is inevitable, but this is about you and him, and nothing else. you hear the notifications from his phone go off, hinting that the match is probably over, and you pull him into another kiss, another round of selfishness guised as an outlet for him to forget about the game, another round of messy make outs, tasting the freedom of ignorance. 

and then you don’t hear from heeseung again.  

V. OBJECT OF ALL DESIRES

days without heeseung feel like they’re forty-eight hours long.

you think it’s a disease or some sort of withdrawal syndrome. this isn’t your first time without him, in fact, you used to do just fine without him in your life until you let him in. at this point, it isn’t even about not being able to see him— heeseung has been absent for almost seven days. you even asked jay about him to see if he has been in contact with any of his teammates but much to your disappointment, he disappeared off the face of earth like he never existed. taehyun has constantly been reminding you to not fret too much, knowing that heeseung gets a little dramatic after losing matches. you can take his word, obviously, a friend from highschool would know heeseung better than a girl who started talking to him normally barely weeks ago, although you couldn’t help but worry about him as seconds passed like water dripping down the tap, disturbing the silence. 

you know how losses feel— like a part of you has been taken out and you’re left to bleed. it’s worse when it’s about something you’ve loved all your life. you’ve walked next to losses, hand in hand. when you know you’ve lost something while having it in the palms of your hands the whole time, the feeling eats you inside. you wonder if heeseung is feeling the same way you think he is, even if he didn’t show it a week ago when you had met him in the clubroom, the feeling starts to sink in when you’re alone amidst the ghosts of nobodies. even though he was smiling and acting like the little shit he is, you felt anger and regret in the way he kissed you. there was a sense of numbness dripping down his fingertips in the way they brushed against your cheeks, cupping your face. you could’ve been a sweet escape— it hurts to admit that the emotions weren’t possibly real, but you couldn’t blame him. 

losing a match, to put it in your words, meant failing in a test; and losing because of an injury, it’s like skipping a test you prepared for, because of fever. except tests can be rescheduled for students who missed— a luxury heeseung, as a basketball player, cannot enjoy. even you couldn’t believe your eyes when the students on the forum started talking about the lost match, all sorts of comments going around, though none targeted at heeseung, fortunately. yet, your first instinct was to dial his number— out of reach, the first thing you hear on the other side of the line, and all you’ve been hearing for days now. 

you had considered cutting ties with him, not literally, but as in stopping to chase him as if he’s the oxygen you inspire. you could’ve showed up at miyeon’s place with apologies, her favourite snacks and a brief explanation of why you did what you did, and everything that has happened as the consequences of your own actions. with weekends approaching, you could’ve planned a two-day trip with her and hanbin before the winter snow made it hard to commute— just anything to get your mind off heeseung, since apparently, you weren’t on his mind either. albeit, you end up doing nothing, no trips, no plans to see miyeon, it’s just you and your bruised heart with soju on the side. your mind is way too cluttered with thoughts about heeseung to focus on studying and at the same time, it’s way too empty to try doing anything else.  

so, you simply venture down the hallways, drowning in all kinds of thoughts, good and bad. you can use the time to study but concentration has been far out of your reach ever since the match, or ever since he went underground, to be more specific. the impromptu make out session was probably his last straw— it makes sense. you kissed someone who had been walked out of a match because of an injury instead of consoling them. you let your feelings get the best of you, making everything about yourself yet again. you won’t be surprised if heeseung decides to ghost you for the rest of his life after that; or maybe, that’s not possible since you see a familiar figure sitting in the outdoor basketball court, spinning the ball with it’s axis on the ground in a directionless manner. 

“heeseung?” you notice his back tense at the sound of you calling his name, head down low as if he’s responding with an exasperated sigh. “where the hell have you been? i’ve been trying to reach you— heck, even your friends haven’t heard a word from you in days,”

“not now, yn, leave me alone,” and an exasperated sigh is what it was. 

“look, i know—”

“just, what part of leaving me alone do you not understand?” you try to speak but heeseung cuts you off just as efficiently as he does other things, with annoyance heavily evident in his words. had it not been heeseung, you would’ve left already, for you have more important things to tend to, and you’re certainly not interested in matters you’re not supposed to be included in, if only it wasn’t heeseung, and if only you weren’t crazily worried for him. 

“oh, i understand it clearly, every part, actually, and i also understand that you’re upset and leaving you alone would certainly not be the best move considering the way you went MIA for a week,” and you understand his impulses about disappearing into thin air, wishing the ground eats him up or for the walls to cave in till he’s entombed in them, but a person as smart as him should know taking out helps better than thinking about wanting to vanish. “we can sit and have a talk if you stop being such an asshole about it. i’m down to listen to—”

“fine, what do you want to hear about?” he cuts you off in annoyances, the ball rolls down to a distance like your heart when you see the unfamiliar emotion in his eyes. “you were right. i went home and have been crying myself to sleep. i haven’t been eating well either. i skipped five out of nine mocks and barely passed the four i gave, let’s add that too. is that enough?” 

you don’t like the way he puts it, as if it’s supposed to make you feel better. maybe about the bet, maybe, since he’s supposed to rank above you in finals to get around dating you, and maybe watching him lose is supposed to offer you some sort of relief— seriously, what you’re feeling right now is far from that. guilt, anger, shame, you’re not unfamiliar with those emotions. they eat you inside and it’s not because you’ve met with defeat, it’s because of falling off all the expectations people had, giving them another reason to point fingers and laugh. you could be really over-reacting, but if you didn’t have your parents telling you it’s going to be fine every time you didn’t do well on tests, you don’t know where you would’ve been right now. and you think you can play a part of the same for heeseung, if not all. 

you sit next to him, nose scrunching at the sight of dust on the cement laid with cracks. that’s what you get with an outdoor court no longer in use. you can see little plantlets germinating from the soil, emerging through the cracks, the rusted ring catches your eye. heeseung huffs as you settle next to him, wondering exactly how long the court has been unused for, considering its lack of maintenance. “let’s date,” 

and your words are not what you were planning to say or what should be said in this situation, but they still manage to extract a response from him. “don’t play with me,” 

“i’m not, in fact, that is what i’ve been wanting to say to you for days. of course, this isn’t the best timing, but i don’t know what else to say,” you pause in what feels like embarrassment. too bad, his crush is not good at conversations. sometimes you end up nodding and blinking for five minutes straight before saying anything, after a person opens up to you with tears and blood. “and, i’m not going to tell you to stop acting like a child or whatever because the team lost such an important match and somewhere, you’re blaming yourself for it, which you shouldn’t, by the way. all i need to say is that you still have the next year to make up for what you’ve lost now,” 

second chances come with higher expectations from people along with words that end up making one feel worse about their situation. you’ve already heard a few students talk about how heeseung should’ve been more ‘careful’— as if it was his choice to get injured and lose the match. you know it wasn’t going to be easy, especially with his injury that probably requires him out of the court for weeks, but you hope that amidst whatever he’s feeling, between self-loath and regret, heeseung manages to find himself once again. 

“actually, i’m planning to drop out of the team next year and focus on studies. my parents were already against me playing basketball during postgrad, i’m finally starting to notice why,” basketball could’ve been his entire career if heeseung’s grandmother had not wished for him to go into the medical field. seeing the insides of a person makes him want to empty his bowel from the mouth so biotechnology was his next option. heeseung thought having two hands would give him the benefit of managing basketball and academics together, unlike how his parents had wished for, but his recent mock scores and lack of time devoted to studies is making him question his choices. “and what the hell were you on about dating, by the way?” 

you’re half immersed in your own thoughts until heeseung directs the question at you— brows furrowed, confusion shadowing his face— you realise it’s your turn to do the talking. “oh, you know, dating. i think we should start dating already, it’s quite inevitable after that day in the clubroom,” 

it is evitable, really, but you’re down bad— with all due respect. 

you haven’t been okay ever since you realised that you like heeseung, and you’ve been trying to act normal about it, attempting to not lose your cool-hard-to-get-girl composure— miyeon’s words, and they make you cringe— while the thought of him is eating your brain slowly and gradually, making you go insane. if you were to narrate from where you opened and closed the door at, it would be a slippery slope, you don’t know how someone ends up falling for the person they despise. the yn from a month or two ago would be knowing, you can see her shrugging and getting back to her books, saying see saw it coming. ( it’s miyeon’s fault for making you even think about having a mind blowing chemistry with heeseung ) the you from two semesters ago, when he first transferred, would hate you and call you a traitor, might even write whore on a mirror while looking at it because you fold at the sight of hot, smart and sporty men who are perfect at everything, even at ruining someone’s life, like he’s ruining yours; and the yn from highschool, you see her squealing on the floor because oh, what a fan of enemies to lovers she was— heeseung wouldn’t even have been in the current picture if your highschool crush slash rival liked you back. the current you, well, she’s a goner, and in denial that she’s a goner. too much pride does something to a person, especially when you’re an over-scorer and an academic weapon. you’ve lost all your abilities of letting your guard down even once, refusing to give up and accept defeat, no matter how tortuous it is on the inside. 

the current you is more like a victorian man looking at ankles for the very first time. 

“and the bet? what happened to it?” he chuckles, of course, anyone would, considering the way you’ve lost after placing the bet with utmost confidence slash overconfidence. see, it never ends well, anything, with overconfidence, it doesn’t end well, never have and never will. and you, you don’t learn, sitting with the very well known fact that if you were given the chance, you would place the bet with him again.  

“ah, i didn’t mean to do that, honestly. i was confused when you confessed, it was so sudden, i didn’t know how to respond. the bet was the best i could come up with,” miyeon was right, you could’ve used something along the lines of ‘i need some time,’ that day instead of pulling out a bet right out of your ass, and now you don’t know how to save face. at least the fact that heeseung confessed first makes you feel a little better about yourself. “c’mon, i know you love challenges. i was just trying to see if it gets you turned on or something,” 

and heeseung scoffs in disbelief, eyeing you at your choice of words. “yeah, i feel very turned on knowing my crush dragged me into a bet that i’ve been working so hard for and she wasn’t even serious about it,” 

“working hard? from what i saw, the only thing you worked hard for was basketball,” you raise your brows, a taunting intonation in your voice. a part of you regrets the choice of words, knowing that basketball is seemingly quite a sensitive topic to bring up at the moment. albeit, the slight fear evaporates off when he laughs and dismisses your words and nothings. 

he leans a little closer, hands touching yours. “you never know what i’m up to at home,” 

a pause; you look in his eyes and then at his lips, he mirrors your actions with a smirk on his face. you guess that there’s a second meaning to his words, not sure what, but the look in his eyes tells you something about it. “i think we should get back to when you were talking mental and i was talking you down,” 

and you could grab his face and kiss him with no one around, on the unmaintained basketball court for the grey and cloudy skies to see. you could run your hands through his hairs and tell him how crazy he makes you while planting kisses down his neck. you can kiss him till both of your lungs are begging for oxygen, and that's when you'd tell him how he makes you feel— breathless and drowning, a little insane every time you see him flirting with someone that's not you. you can kiss him till the sun goes down and evening takes over, it doesn't matter if you're outside for the world to see. you would've kissed him if heeseung hadn't leaned back, looking at the ball lying stray at a distance.

“by the way, i’d love to date you,” he smiles at the infinite horizon before looking at you, as if waiting for a response already known.

“yeah, i figured that,” you try to play it cool as if you’re all knowing. it’s partially true, he did confess to you first. “let’s make another bet: no kissing before finals, and the one who ends up giving in first has to buy dinner,” you come up with yet another bet, your voice hinting the enthusiasm for no apparent reason.  

heeseung squints at you, a little conflicted, quite unsure of your words. it sounds like a moment of deja vu, hopefully on a better note this time ‘round. “that’s not even valid, we made out not even a week ago,” 

“let bygones be bygones, hee,” he likes the sound of the little nickname you've given him, unlike bygones, the word you use to refer to your very first kiss with him as if it's an unfortunate memory. “it’s decided then, no kissing before finals and the loser has to buy dinner, and i won’t be satisfied with anything less than a five star meal,” 

you squint, index finger pointing at him, a challenging composure. another chuckle from him makes it’s way to you, lips curling into a faint smile. it takes you all the way back to the day you placed your first bet with him, with head empty and no logic, for the entirety of the basketball team to see, hear, and talk about it as if it’s supposed to be on the headlines of the national newspaper. your eyes spark up in anticipation, wondering if the two of you are down for another bet, one that doesn’t proceed towards failure, hopefully.

“the last time you did something like this, you ended up running back to me and asking me to date you,” he scoffs softly, side-eyeing you with a mocking gaze, quite ready to pull out the receipts if you ever deny his words. you hate how correct he is, all the time, actually, and you hate how you don’t have words to argue back.

lee heeseung, a nobody to you till he switched to your department, just some student who was there to pass time until he started ranking above you on tests and flipped your whole world upside down. you tried to not think about him and failed every time— still beats you why. you’ve never let distractions get the best of you, but heeseung, perhaps he’s more than just a distraction, or maybe he isn’t a distraction at all. he’s like a plant in your garden that you could care less about— should care less about, it’s growing without harming your plants, but it’s creeping against a wall with pretty flowers for show, and before you know it, it’s demanding for all your attention that you offer without second thoughts, unwillingly at first. 

he’s the bane of your existence and object of all your desires, to put it simply and make it sound cliché. you’ve had your moments trying to run away from him, get him out of your head, annoy him to the point he’d prefer flying to the other side of the globe, or that could be you too, anywhere, far from him. but life, for the thousandth time, is unpredictable. when was the last time something worked out exactly how you had planned— can’t remember, obviously, just like the way you don’t remember when heeseung started occupying a corner of your brain, popping in and out at random times and disrupting your thought process. the more you tried to ignore him, the further he housed in your head, the deeper in your heart, closer, within your reach, as if for you to grab his hands and let him enter your side of the world. 

and so, you kiss him again, pulling him towards you with the collars of his jacket. you feel him smile, a triumphant smile, as expected from someone who is used to winning. you don't think you can say you've lost, not at the way he cups your cheeks and tilts his head to deepen the kiss just moments before you pull away. “i always run back to you, don’t i?” 

and you're a child infatuated with their favourite sport, a painter falling in love with strokes, a pianist dancing to the melody of rachmaninoff, a student addicted to getting a perfect score, a player addicted to winning. you trace back to things you like, you always run back to heeseung,

and you always would. 

TEN MINUTES LATER :

heeseung plants a soft peck on your lips. “dinner’s on you,” 

“fuck!” 

[pupyuj]

[cw: smut, oral fixation, mommy kink, cunnilingus, nipple play, thigh riding, fingering]

well! ya'll have @wintersera to thank for filling my head with puppy!yujin thoughts! 😭😭 not g!p surprisingly cuz maybe i wanna give yujin pussy some love now 🤭💞

so. yujin. but a dog. a puppy, to be exact! WELL... HAVE I GOT SOME IDEAS FOR THAT!

she is soooo clingy-baby-can't-live-without-you type of puppy IM— 🥺🥺🥺 she literally cannot keep her hands off of you!! she's always all over you!! backhugging you 24/7, literally wraps her long legs around your body to keep you close at night, and cannot stand being away from you ☹️☹️ always whines when you leave for work but immediately cheers up when you kiss her and promise her that you'll be home early just for her :(((

tail wags when she's excited?? TAIL WAGS WHEN SHE'S EXCITED!! as soon as she hears you she's running to the front door (if she wasn't already waiting there) and hugging you tighthjdfbdkcn and it's so cute bcs you can just see her tail move from side to side guys i love her so muchdhfjf and ofc if she has felt especially needy that day... she's kissing you and taking off your jacket in a hurry,, so eager to have her needs met after a whole day of waiting,,

BUT LIKE as much as she loves it when you touch her, yujinnie likes it even BETTER when she gets to touch you!!! she always wants to prove that she's your good girl so best believe she will try her very best to make you come so good!!! also she kind of just can't . leave you alone and um ORAL FIXATION YUJ⁉️⁉️ ehehejfbrjd she loves having you on her lap with your shirt pulled up, your nipples hard inside her mouth... kissing her puppy ears and telling her she's doing such a good job,,, IT GETS HER SO WET‼️‼️‼️ she swears she could suck on your boobs for hours... doesn't exactly know when her obsession with your tits started but she just wants your shirt off all the time 😭 she thinks you're so pretty topless and she just feels like she just has to have your nipples on her mouth all the time!!

if it's not your nipples, it's your fingers—she really likes sucking on your fingers right after you've made her come, bcs she knows it turns you on soooo much when she licks off her own juices from your hand— or better yet your pussy oh god.. imagine like, being in front of your computer doing important stuff, being all serious and stressed and suddenly your panties were being pulled off by your sweet puppy gf 🥺🥺 "mommy.. i think you need my help..." but ofc she wants your permission first before doing anything!! yuj is an eager pup but she knows it's important to know whether you want it or not 😤 (you taught her so well 🥺) eyes beaming with anticipation,, and then she just lights up completely when you nod at her, tail wagging and all 😩 silly puppy parting your folds with her thumbs and staring at your cunt for a bit, just . silently inspecting and watching it clench,, licking her lips as she watched you get wetter and wetter,,, and you're gently patting her puppy ears to kind of get her out of her dreamland 😭 ehedhksks grins at you before diving right in! definitely reaches for your tits while she's working her tongue on your clit,, she really just can't help it!! you just showering her with praise, making her place her heel against her cunt bcs she was getting so insanely horny at the sound of your voice 🥺

whining against your pussy and she comes in her panties w you 😵‍💫 immediately she's taking her clothes off and sitting on your lap,, "my turn, mommy.. please, i wanna come properly..." and how could you deny your good girl??? even when you were feeling a bit dizzy from your orgasm earlier, you couldn't say no to yuj :((( the pup humping your leg like there's no tomorrow, saying "mommy" over n over again and hugging you,,, her clit rubbing perfectly against your thigh and making her release the dirtiest sounds ever 🥺🥺 touching her body all over and marking her chest... just to let people know that she belonged to you and you only!! hnnggg yujinnie making a mess on your thigh, drenching it with her cum, and apologizing bcs she gets shy sometimes too!! but you tell her it's ok and clean her mess up by collecting her juices on your fingers and licking them 😵‍💫 yuj gets so turned on again...

AND OH when she goes in heat??? ☹️☹️ poor baby having to suffice with using a pillow to get off while she waits for you get home :(( she's so desperate, and she definitely cries when you take longer than usual bcs she needs you so bad, she can't take the pain 😣 and when you finally get home, your heart breaks seeing your sweet girl all crumpled up in your bed, face drenched with tears and whimpering,,,, apologizing to her while turning her over,, she has already come several times while you were gone but it wasn't enough,, "off... off..." she was mumbling while tugging on your clothes 😣 yujinnie allowing to let you do what you do best while she just lays there in an almost half-asleep state,, you knew how to take care of her, knew how to hit all the right spots while knuckle-deep inside her cunt.. omg yuj hugging you tightly, once again nothing but "mommy" leaving her mouth but this time bcs she really missed you ☹️ and biting on your shoulder as she comes :(( it always felt so much better when it was you!!!

hehe clingy pup even in her sleep!! you wake up with her literally snoring softly on top of you ACK loves it when you kiss and pat her puppy ears to wake her up :(( thanks you for taking care of her the night before but she really didn't have to?? BEST PUPPY YUJ DESERVES THE SOFTEST CARE IN THE WORLD 🥺🥺🥺

[starmapz]

hi trish!! hope you're well <33 i just finished reading ch3 of shame on me and i liked it omg the action sequence at the end was so good i could really picture everything in my head!! and i'm so glad we got to learn more about reader's ct it's sad she got injured tho :''0 i was cackling sooo hard at how reader kept refusing gojo's suggestions to go get lunch w him lmfaooo its lunch time here rn im so hungry i would love to grab lunch w him xD

nanami in this fic is SOOOOO like i'm not really a nanami girlie but he's so cute in this. i got so sad when he mentioned the part about how someday his luck will run out :( being sorcerer is so selfless. i just about died when he took the bowl to the sink n started washing it LOL he is husband material

im excited to read moreee and also see where reader's relationship w gojo goes, and what's gonna make her turn a leaf n look at him in a different light. much love!!

hi ellie!! I hope you're doing well too <33

aaa thank you!! it's so nice to hear that the action comes across well, i feel like i second-guess myself on everything that isn't angst or fluff i have no clue why 😵‍💫

reader has more grit than I do, i could never refuse lunch with him 👀

awhh i'm so glad you like my nanami 🥹 i feel like i just can't help but write him soooo husband i'm just such a sucker for a man like that- i just love a sweet man 💖

thank you so much for reading, your messages genuinely make my day you're so kiiiind 😭💖

i've been awake traveling for almost 24 hours now you'll have to forgive me if i wrote something that doesn't make sense LOL

lots of love!!

[milexa2000]

4⭐️Town when they are jealous

A/n: This is a request soooo.. It might suck😅😅 And also thank you @shigekoaoi7 for the request🖤

WARNINGS: maybe harrasment idk..AND FLUFFF

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Robaire🎤

He knows you live him from the bottom of your heart, buttt he doesnt like when seeing other guys talking to you

He would watch both of you if anything bad is happening

When the guy trys to hold your hand. Robaire had ENOUGH

he would walk up to both of you and holding you back

I feel like he would cuss the guy out in French and the guy is just there like "🤨😰"

"What do you think your doing?!" or "shes already taken man, sorry." and would walk away with his arms around you

You would thank him cause the guy made u uncomfy

"No problem Mon amour, im always here for you."

he can trust you cause he knows when you feel uncomfortable with other guys you dont know

So he will always have your back🥰

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Tae Young🕊

sometimes he doesnt mind of you talk with other guys if only they are your friend

But when he sees that guy try touching you, oh mannn hes pissed

He would walk up to them and yell in their face

You look at him and Awe, hes like a superhero saving your day

When the guy rolls his eyes and walks off, tae turns to look at you. THEN GRABS YOUR CHEEKS AND CHECK IF HE KISSED U OR SUM

"Dove, are you okay?, "did he kiss you?"," what did he tell you? ". He just keeps asking you questions

You giggle and hold his face, telling him that your fine and thanking him for saving you.

He starts blushing when you said you saved his life "ohhh stop it y/n." he says making SUCH A CUTE POUTY FACE

you cant help but kiss all over his face which makes him chuckle

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Aaron T🧢

UH UHH HE IS NOT GONNA LET ANYBODY TOUCH HIS GIRL

Hes a spy, hes really good at hiding

he watches the both of you just talking about god knows what

He walks up to you both, very chill yk

You dont get suprised when you feel arms around your waist cause you know its him

He kisses you on the cheek which males the guy so mad💀

"Sorry man, she's already mine" he says with a smirk on his face

While the guy was finally gone, you immediatly give him a tight hug which he returns

You cant stop thinking him because of how scared and uncomfy ehen the guy was talking to you

He looks at you and says "dont worry baby, its my job." with this face "😌"

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Aaron Z🏀

Z dan be very shy sometimes, but when he sees you with another guy that he doesnt know, oh boy hes about to get madddd

He thought yoy we're cheating on him but he realized the look on your face

U look... Nervous and uncomfortable when the guy is trying to talk to you

You see him walking up to you both which excites you cause ur bby boy is coming to the rescueeee

You go behind him and hold him tight when helds you behind him protectively

He trys to be calm but he can't

He tells the guy?, "don't touch my girl or else we gonna have a problem." and the guy immedietly nods his head and runs off

He starts to feel bad, then he feels someone tap his shoulder which he turns to look at you.

you hold his face.... AND KISS HIS ALL OVER. HIS CHEEKS, HIS LIPS, HIS FOREHEAD

you kept telling him how proud you Were of him for saving you

He makes a suprises face and blushes. He loves when you cheer him

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Jesse🎨

Like Aaron T, he would be a spy watching you and the random guy

He makes this face "😧" when he sees the guy touching you, thats when hes ready to confront the guy

When you see him coming your day, you run up to him and hug him tightly

He looks at the guy, pissed off. "Don't you DARE put your Hands on her, shes mine! and they guy freaks out and runs off which you cant help but goggle

While the dude is gone, Jesse looks at you with a worried face.

"Are you okay baby?" , "thank goodness your okay." he holds you so tight like a big bear

You tell hin that your fine and kiss him which makes him smile☺️

You thank him for saving you and tell him that there is nothing to worry about

Which makes him smile even more and you both tried to forget what just happened💀

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A/n: I HOPE U GUYS LIKE ITT. Plz send me some request of 4Town. Thanks🥰

-Milexa