#shes so creative and shes awesome in making her own things <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[icepoptroll]

@rtcpickyourpoison day 4: Ricky - Karaoke/Drag Night

I've seen a lot of art of Ricky and Noel being the perfect drag queen duo and I'm in total agreement. Their fabulous costume changes and wildly imaginative songs in canon are proof enough for me that these two would absolutely kill it in a drag performance, ignoring the haters and putting on a great show!! Starrypoet is such an awesome but oft-forgotten ship.

I felt like doing something with Ricky's love for who he is, his creative endeavors, and his bright spirit. Noel was also fun to explore here in that he's both very loving and very firey. I imagine that, after reaching adulthood, Ricky would become a comic book writer/illustrator and Noel would work in a drag bar, and they'd both take great interest in each other's work. It's bring your boyfriend to work night at the club!! hehe

Image description under the cut.

Page 1:

Panel 1: Shown is Ricky and Noel's reflections in a lighted mirror. The adjacent wall is made of bricks and there is a garment rack with various dresses hanging on it in the background of their reflection. There is a long, wavy, pink and purple wig hanging on the mirror. Ricky is smiling a bit shyly, wearing a voluminous, long purple wig with bangs. He has on pink cat ears, a sparkly silver necklace, a black leather strap wrapped around his arm and a pink bodysuit with black tiger stripes. His makeup is hot pink and bright purple with purple false lashes, glitter along his cheekbones and black tiger stripes painted on the sides of his face. Noel is wearing a dark bob wig, a sparkly dark purple gown, and four strings of pearls around his neck. He is wearing sparkly purple eyeshadow, glitter on his face and body, and dark red lipstick. He is leaning over and kissing Ricky on the head, saying, "Ugh, Ricky darling, you look absolutely sickening!!" Ricky's narration explains, "I knew that, in the context of a drag culture colloquialism, Noel meant "sickening" as a compliment.

Panel 2: Ricky's narration continues, "But I don't think I was meant to take what this other performer said as a compliment." Noel is in the background walking past, now with long, dark, violet gloves on, as a drag queen in a curled blonde wig, pearl jewelry, a black and white polka dot dress with red frills and red high heels walks by Ricky, who is sitting in his wheelchair, smiling and waving, wearing silvery fingerless gloves of uneven lengths. The drag queen says, "Okay, I'll bite. Who invited the make-a-wish kid?" Ricky goes on to explain, sarcastically, "Oh yeah, she got me. That was so funny that last time I heard it I laughed so hard I almost fell off my dinosaur."

Page 2:

Panel 1: Ricky continues, "She went for the low-hanging fruit. Noel went to bat for me." Noel comes up, pointing to himself. He says, "Uh. That would be ME. Got a fucking problem?"

Panel 2: The other drag queen gestures to Ricky, who looks on, bemused and annoyed. She says, "Monique. Honey. Baby girl. Look at him, I mean, seriously? Do I even have to say it?" The dressing room mirrors are in the background.

Panel 3: Closeup of Noel's face. He looks angry as he says, "Ha! After your shit performance tonight I wouldn't bother saying ANYTHING more about him. Save yourself any further embarrassment." Ricky explains, "I didn't mind the comments all that much."

Panel 4: Noel is getting up in the other queen's face, pointing an accusatory finger up at her as she crosses her arms defensively. He says ". . . Aaaand another thing!!" Ricky continues, "Noel did warn me some of his colleagues could be kind of mean sometimes. And, as he would say, I looked "fierce," and I knew it."

Page 3:

Panel 1: Ricky's narration continues, "And, I guess you could say Noel actually sort of WAS granting me a wish." HE propels away to go do his own thing, looking back with a sense of concern and weird curiosity as the other two argue. Noel says, "I can't even, you're just mad that Ricky is a cute young thing, and underneath your makeup YOU look like the damn crypt keeper!" She replies, "Crypt keeper??? Oh, you little. . . "

Panel 2: Ricky continues to explain, "Noel works as a performer at a drag bar and he told me about lip-syncing being a big part of drag shows. While I am unable to sing, I've always loved lip-syncing to my favorite songs." Noel continues to yell, "This is some shady shit. Even for YOU."

Panel 3: Ricky is surrounded by drag queens against a sparkly hot pink background. His narration continues, "So I told him I would love to try it, and he brought me to work with him, did my makeup, and gave me some tips. We even developed a persona for me: Savannah, with the Fiercest Smize. To 'smize,' I'm told, means to smile with only your eyes. I was so excited, though, I wound up smiling with my whole face." A queen with light skin in a sparkly green dress, big wavy brown wig, and floral accents stands in front of Ricky, a hand laid over her chest. She says, "I LOVE silent acts. So mysterious!" A queen with tan skin and dark hair in a high bun dressed in a sharp gold dress and matching jewelry says "Her hair is EVERYTHING!" as she examines Ricky's wig and looks up at her friend, a tall chubby queen with dark skin and a purple afro, with purple jewelry and a sparkly purple body suit. She smiles and nods approvingly. Ricky goes on, "No one else seemed to mind my being there. In fact, people liked Savannah."

Page 4:

Panel 1: Noel and Ricky hug. Noel says, "No one will EVER dull your shine, love. You're beautiful and you know it. Let's get to work, okay?" Ricky says, "I knew."

Panel 2: Ricky and Noel are performing. Noel is dancing at Ricky's side. Ricky is lip syncing, holding a microphone and leaning back, his other arm spread out. The song he is lip syncing to is True Colors by the Studio Killers:

Show me your true colors

In their blinding brightness

Show me your true colors

Like they glow in the night when you are dreaming

Forget about the others

The unbearable lightness of our being

Even spy satellites won't see this coming

Our love that's hiding in the dark

Reach out and I promise you soon we'll be lovers

'Cause it's our true color

[lady-bluebird-luv]

2024 Fic Writer End of Year Roundup

Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going!

Thanks @ everyone who tagged me :) I'm counting everyone in my answers as tagged - if anyone hasn't added their own roundup yet and wants to.

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

20,833

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

Just 2!

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

Also 2

4. What was your favorite thing you wrote?

Definitely my exchange fic for @shadowisles-writes, Hind with Sharp Teeth. This is the first year in a while where I've been able to write semi-consistently, and it's been hard to scrape the rust off of some of my usual strengths (smut, banter, humor, weird shit). I'm really excited about this fic because it makes me feel like I'm finally back in the groove!

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

Probably my demon!Rhys oneshot, The darker the fruit, the sweeter. I love darkfic and have played with the idea of writing something unsettling for a while. This is the first time I've dipped my toes in.

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

I wasn't sure what to expect from No More Dreaming Like a Girl because it was my first posted ACOTAR fic, but it's gotten much less engagement than I thought it might. Maybe people are wary because the plot touches on a lot of info from ACOSF that has already been debated ad nauseam in the fandom. Or some people don't like extended angstfests, which... this may or may not become, depending on what happens once I get my shit together and finish my outline.

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

Probably NMDLAG!

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

Right now I love @lucychanart's work, especially her tamsand, as well as @froggybogwitch, @witchlingsandwyverns, and @queercontrarian's work, especially her genderbends.

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

Oooooof, so so so many people! @mmvalentine, @quakeriders, @separatist-apologist and @the-lonelybarricade for how perfectly they capture Feysand's multifaceted dynamic across so many different AUs. @fourteentrout for how well they navigate angsty, complicated ships. @whatishowedyouinthedark and @starfall-spirit for their darkfic. @thesistersarcheron for her worldbuilding and for embracing funny and/or chaotic AUs. @popjunkie42 for how she writes Rhys and indoctrinating me into the glasses!Rhys agenda. @rosanna-writer, @littedidyouknow, and @climbthemountain2020 for really well-done long form fics. The amount of talented authors and artists in this fandom blows my mind every day.

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

I think I'm the new kid on the block this year - but that means everyone I mentioned above, as well as other awesome creators like @foundress0fnothing, @shadowriel, @secret-third-thing and many others feel new to me.

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

I haven't! That's one of my goals for this upcoming year.

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

Honestly, just that I found something that inspired me again and committed to making more time to write than I have in the past couple of years. I became super active for a different fandom during the pandemic, and it wasn't sustainable. When I came back after a break, it just wasn't the same. Then I got distracted by life. It feels really good to be back and to remember what it feels like to scratch the creative itch.

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

To let things take time and remember to get out of my head about my work.

14. Any advice you’d like to share with new or aspiring writers?

Find rituals and routines. Try to commit to them even when you don't feel particularly inspired. Writing is kind of like working out in that you have to condition those (mental) muscles if you want to perform well. Spontaneous inspiration can make for a really satisfying eureka! moment, but you can't rely on it if you want to get into a regular writing habit.

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

I'm trying not to start too many longer, multichapter fics before I finish (or at least make good progress with) the ones I have at the moment. I also would love to do more collaborative work and build fandom friendships (I'm still strategizing about this bit because I'm too shy for my own good). I also plan to explore some new pairings!

[callsign-king]

.... Do you know the feeling, when you are hyped and want to write, and then you open your social media and... All of a sudden, you are not good enough anymore?

Tips how to get out of that?

You are awesome though and I adore you and your mun. <3

You are too kind my Liege, but yes it is quite a familiar beast. While writing is not my creative curse to bare per say, I feel that way about my paintings. It can be quite devastating to have this picture of grandeur plague ones mind calling out like a siren begging to be seen and heard and yet like a shy maiden she refuses to show. So you are left aching staring at the blankness before you. You're chest gnawing as she chews at her tail caught in a bear trap of your own mind scrapping against whatever drive one has slowly tearing even that away.

It hurts physically, bringing even I, a strong willed man, to my knees wanting nothing more then to indulge in a desire to make, but sometimes it's not the act that is the problem but rather the muse or medium. Sometimes a short story needs to become a poem. Something a painting needs to become a sculpture.

Or even sometimes you need to focus on something else entirely. Something that gets you locked not noticing as the time flies by as everything goes still. Most importantly it's okay to step away and come back later.

Of course I dare say the most valuable asset to combat such a creative block is a valiant advisor to talk your thoughts out with. Have someone to parry the ideas back and forth until it could be sculpted into something you can be proud of. Seriously the biggest blessing I have ever had is having a fellow creative to sit there and help me see where the flaws are that I know exist but cannot tell.

After all sometimes we are so often blinded by our own greatness that the glory of our creation is lost to our perception and all we can see is the flaw of it's silhouette.

Find your person or your people and listen when they praise and listen when they offer help. And of course in the most highest priorities be that person for them. Help your fellow creative see the greatness in their work and help them see where they're blocked maybe from.

(thank you! I'm glad you like me and King! Also know you are not alone. There are so many writers on this site who struggle with that self doubt who look at their writing like it was drawn by a kindergartener, but to everyone else it looks like a Renaissance painting done Michelangelo himself. I personally perceive my writing like that often where it feels lacking in so many ways.

Another tip that is incredibly helpful for me is type it up in notes app on your phone or computer.

Doesn't matter if you decide not to publish it later, just having that separate source where you can put whatever bullshit you want to text is helpful. For me it feels less like I'm writing to a large audience and more like I'm writing for myself which I often forget is ultimately who I'm doing it for.

If I like the idea and it brings me joy that's all that matters and if only one other person finds joy in my creation then it was worth publishing. And if none of that works out take a day or two breathe focus on the world around socialize with others do something silly. Grab your friend and write whatever silly thing comes to mind, doesn't matter if it's unhinged or makes sense use it as a pallet cleanser. Create with the intention to silence the critic in your head if only for a moment.)

[skimmingmilk]

I just wanted to say that I LOOOVE your Sonic fics, I think I’ve read them all at least twice xD „When the World Breaks(…)” and „Relative Dissonance” I’ve read more times 👀👀 Do you mind if I made a short animatic about one of your fics? I don’t know how, but you made me fall in love in Sonic-Tails-siblling-duo, I think I’ve become addicted xDDD The way you write, not only them, but also others is such a treat to read, please never stop writing ❤ What I really like about your stories is that there are connections between them. Like we can see different sides of the same scene, or some small continuities (Like in „A Blue Christmas(…)”, where Sonic and Tails left Amy at the ice rink, and then in „Can’t Cloud(…)” we could read that Amy returned to an empty house, my poor girl 🥺 please give her hugs T-T). I’m so happy to have found such an amazing author, I wish for you to never lose your inspiration, because as someone who’s also in the creative field I know it can be hard <3 Sorry if my english is not great xD

Ahhh, thank you!! :D I get so excited whenever "Relative Dissonance" is one of someone's favorites! <3 Also "When the World Breaks" but since Relative Dissonance is it's own thing and such a departure from the picket fence timeline, it's awesome whenever it manages to find its audience <3

And omg, I would cry the happiest tears if you made an animatic based on anything I wrote!! I would love to see whatever you came up with, and would be happy to offer any insight if you had questions or anything in messages if you felt comfortable doing that, anon :) I'm in awe of people who can create animatics, they require so much time and discipline and skill, but are such a treat to see in motion at the end of it all. Please do link me to whatever you create if you have the drive and inspiration to make something <3 I'd really love it!

And welcome to the Sonic and Tails brotherhood spiral xD Happy to have you here! Sonic and Tails have always been the relationship I'm most interested in, I can't explain why. Just something about these two drew me to them since childhood. All I want is to see more stuff with them together, so that's what I'm doing xD I never intended to have such an interconnected world for them, but it's definitely something I've done with past stories, so I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised, lol.

It's a treat to get to plant little references or seeing a different perspective of a scene that gives it more depth or meaning. Especially when it's little one-off moments. One of my faves is from "Birth Certificate" and "even big brothers have bad dreams." Sonic assumes Tails's blanket is ripped and torn because he drags it on the ground all the time, but it's mostly because Tails will use it to try and comfort Sonic if he's having a bad dream. It snags on his quills because they're so sharp when he's stressed out from a nightmare :')

But Sonic doesn't know that, and Tails doesn't tell him xD

Anyway, yes, Amy will get all the hugs <3 And she did get to spend Christmas Day with Sonic and Tails. They had candy cane pancakes together and she got to see them open the presents she got for them! She already opened the present they got her xD She couldn't wait.

Thank you again so much for this lovely message! Your English is amazing, and I'm very touched and happy to hear from you <3

[dreadfutures]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤️

Thanks, Brood!

I just want to say it's been really awesome to see everyone's self recs on my dash. <3 I feel like just a few years ago there was way more self-negging around all of us and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy when my friends and mutuals and acquaintances are proud of their hard work and creativity! I will be sure to spread that around in more inboxes too :)

My own five favorite fics that I've written are:

it ends, or it doesn't | A Felassan Fic written by youworeblue / @dreadfutures | illustrated by @adurna0-art Rating: T | Genre: Mystery | Length: 45k, complete

My favorite story I've written so far. Dragon Age with a Knives Out flavor. I can't give it a better pitch than @anneapocalypse did here, particularly: "Both a thrilling and tightly-paced murder mystery, and a moving and thoughtful piece about personal and cultural identity, confronting the past, and looking to the future." (Thanks, Anne 😭)

Chrysalid Rated: G | Cillian & Solas | Chapters: 9/9

An origin story for how Cillian, the DAI MP character who appears in like, maybe 2 war table missions, learned the path of the Arcane Warrior. A love letter to the monarch butterfly migration.

Death is an Open Door Rated: T | Male Mahariel & Nonbinary Mahariel | Length: 8k

Mahariel steps through an eluvian to begin the journey we hear about in passing during DAI. This was a gift for @ammoniteflesh about both of our Mahariels and how they are mirrors of each other.

the road seems too wild for mixing it with blues Rated: G | F!Lavellan x Solas | Length: 5k

Pure fluff, a happy ending for Lavellan and Solas in a world they're committed to improving together, on the ground, one interaction at a time. But in this fic? They just get to enjoy that world, together, without any pressures upon them.

And I debated whether to put Walkers of the Lonely Path or Comrades in Arms, Brothers in Broken Chains, or…my other favorites on this list... but DPDF is definitely in my top favorite fics I've written, so:

Dead Pasts and Dread Futures Rated: E | FLavellan x Solas, Gen | Length: 600k (incl. TBG: 900k, ongoing)

As the world ends, Ixchel is resurrected under mysterious circumstances and is sent back in time to the Conclave. Ixchel is furious, convinced of her own futility, and yet she cannot give up again. These are the stories of how she gets better.

more rambling about each of these...

it ends, or it doesn't | A Felassan Fic Stories about looking at the past (your own, in general, or in one's culture) and grappling with the good and the bad and trying to find the merit, strength, and identiy that resonates with you? They're my favorite to read, personally, and those themes find their way into most things I write. I feel like I really Did It in this one. And the inspiration for the story had me warm and fuzzy the whole way through: he environments had me looking at photos of the golden hills of my home as well as some of my favorite castles and temples across the world. I love writing a broken Felassan and his relationship to the ancient elves and to modern elves of all flavors. And the process of writing this in my own way and going back and forth with my artist partner for the fic was wonderful.

Chrysalid Cillian discovered the path of the Arcane Warrior by meditating in ruins; when the Breach appeared in the sky, he felt called to lend his skills to the fledgling Inquisition. That’s all we know of his path, as a background NPC in Dragon Age: Inquisition, who appears solely in a war table mission and in the Multiplayer addition. But how did he really get trained as an Arcane Warrior? Honestly. This was Divine Inspiration at its finest. It was summer; I was missing my college town, where monarch butterflies go as a colony on their migration, stopping there to rest. I kept seeing a few of them flying by my current location on their way south. And I had the whimsical thought: isn’t that magical? Then I thought: sure, magical butterflies would work for a story. But what do they lead to? I loved the experience of writing this, I love the idea I had, I love rereading it, and closing my eyes and thinking about the locations.

Death is an Open Door I was so excited to get matched with Faust for our fanfic server's annual OC Swap event, because any time I heard about Ghila Mahariel, I couldn't help but IMMEDIATELY think about how our Mahariels would interact together. Their relationships to Morrigan and Kieran; their different relationships to their Blighted blood and what the future holds for them; their different relationships to the Dalish religion; their different relationships to the possibility of a cure for the Blight. I really got a chance to dig into the dreamy, fairy tale quality that I love to write the most, AND both body and psychological horror which I also love. AND I got to write an actual Dalish fairy tale, basically, inside it all, which is some of my favorite stuff to write. And Faust liked it, and it always makes me feel so happy and warm and fuzzy to reread a fic where I know I managed to make someone (via their OC) feel seen/special in any way at all.

the road seems too wild for mixing it with blues PURE SELF INDULGENT FLUFF. I love building cities and cultures within them, and I was trying to capture a specific kind of summer getaway/stranger in a new place vibe that I love so much when I get to experience it myself. It transports me right to that: to the place I based Cumberland on, to the exact temperature of the nights, to the exact cafe that has that drink and those donuts. I smiled a lot while writing it and I smile a lot while rereading it. Appreciating each other, and every moment of living, and the world that they get to be in - that's what I want, in the end, for Ixchel and Solas.

Dead Pasts and Dread Futures People are probably really tired of hearing me talk about this one, and I feel the most self conscious about it, but. It really is one of my favorite things I've made. I genuinely love rereading it, I have loved writing it, I still love writing it. I think it comes across more shippy when it gets talked about but to me the core of it is Ixchel's relationship to hope, her own personhood, and to her friends (originally there were so many more & pairings before the tag limit was a thing, because man. They all have pretty big arcs with her) (like to the point where sometimes I feel bad for not being More Overwhelmingly Solavellan, as opposed to spending like 20 chapters at a time on Ixchel's relationship to a single other person, which it feels like I do a lot…). I started writing it as an outlet for feelings I couldn't contain or, what I thought at the time, survive. I was trying to tell myself a story that things could get better, at a time when I didn't really believe it myself. Hope is a choice. Belief is a state of being. - And I had the strength to find neither at the time. But since then I have managed to heal a lot through this fic, I have had lots of fun chasing down story beats that just interest me, incorporating teensy bits of lore and weaving them into the bigger tapestry of Thedas, and most of all, meeting so many people because of this fic. :)

[zepskies]

Hi Alex! 2, 11, and 14 for the writer end of year asks (and Happy early New Year!)

Hey Battie!! Happy New Year, friend! 💖💖

And oooh I love those -- all great questions from the End of Year Asks...

#2. A piece you're proud of and why

God, I could have so many answers for this, mainly because I wrote a LOT in 2024. 😂 I'm going to cheat a little bit and give you two stories that you might not expect. Not because they were wildly popular when I published them (they weren't), but because I genuinely put my heart and soul into them and got to explore something new with representation, diversity, and storytelling. 💜

Dream With Me (18+)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-sized Latina!Reader

Summary: When your asshole ex-boyfriend calls for help on a case, you have a tough decision to make. But Dean isn’t going to let you do anything alone. AKA: The last hunt you, Sam, and Dean will ever go on together.

This is a 3-part mini series set in the Midnight Espresso-verse. ☕ It's set in the dreaded 15x20 (or the time gap within In Bad Weather).

The ME-verse is always going to be special to me. Yes, it's a Latina reader and I get to express my culture through her. Yes, she's plus-sized (and I am too) so I get to incorporate some of my experiences and ideas there. But the ME-verse allows me to give Dean the loving relationship I wish he would've gotten on the show.

And Dream With Me was me putting a definitive pin on their story, while still leaving room for more in the future if/when I come back to them. 💗

The Honorable Choice (18+)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x OFC 

Summary: June 1872. Captain Dean Winchester of the U.S. Cavalry is tasked with one job: break a wild mustang. He just didn’t expect the woman who infiltrates his camp, intent on freeing her tribe’s horse.

This was the first OFC story I had written in a long time, but also a risk in the sense that I was writing about a culture that wasn't my own (the Lakota people), in a different time period, and Dean and other SPN characters in a Western AU. So I actually did a lot of research for this story for the sake of respectfulness and authenticity.

I also got to post this story in November, which I found out is Native American Indian Heritage Month. Which is a small tidbit, but I thought it was cool that it happened that way, since I didn't plan it. 😂

I got so into this story that I actually wrote a sequel called Outlander (Part 1 coming out on Friday!).

#11 Fandom you'd like to create more for next year

Oooh great question! I feel like I'm going to get more into Russell Shaw (Tracker) in 2024, definitely more Soldier Boy/Ben (The Boys), but I'm also looking forward to Countdown and what Jensen will bring to Mark Meachum. 💖

Also, I know I'm late as hell, but I teased the possibility of my writing for Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit fandom with these characters who I've read a lot of fanfic about over the years: Eomer, Aragorn, Thranduil, and Haldir. 💚

#14 Something new you tried this year

Another great question, because this could mean many different things for me creatively. I could say that I wrote Lost on You, the Soldier Boy x Supe!Reader story set in 1983. It was the first time I wrote an AU story that completely diverged from the main narrative after 1984. It was also the first time I wrote SB paired with a supe!reader.

I could also give The Honorable Choice (Dean x OFC) again as an example. I was very conscious of writing in a different style from my usual one -- most of all in a different cadence to match Mila, the Lakota Indian heroine. For part of my research, I watched YouTube videos of an elder of a Lakota tribe telling stories from their culture, and it really informed the way I decided to write that story and how the Lakota characters spoke.

These are awesome questions. Thanks so much again, Battie! I hope you have a wonderful New Year and lead into 2025!! 💋💫💫

[queer-ragnelle]

hi! okay so this is going to sound wild please bear with me. i got into arthurian myth a couple months ago through phyllis ann karr's idylls of the queen and thru the afterword of that found cherith baldry and her work and had been looking everywhere with no luck for a buyable copy of exiled in camelot because i LOVE kay. i stumbled across your blog on google and finally was able to read the book and it's so good i've read it a bunch of times now and am just in love with her writing!!! so first of all i wanted to say thank you so much for the work you do, i've been really benefiting from your scans and archives! the second thing is that i . loved exiled from camelot so much i actually wrote kay/gawain fic based off it AND i wanted to show you but i don't use tumblr so i had to make this account to send you an ask and activate my 10 year old ao3 account just to be able to put it somewhere sendable and BASICALLY it's at ao3 / dot org / works / six one one eight four oh seven four (by andaliteband1t) and you dont have to read it i just really wanted you to know the impact your archival work had on my creative life. okay that's it, i hope you're having a good day :') thanks so much again for your scans and blog!!! -ev

Hello!

Wow this is the nicest message ever. First of all I'm so glad you were able to find the Exiled From Camelot file and read it. I seriously love that book so so much and I'm happy to hear that you did too! Cherith Baldry just published an anthology full of stories called The Last Knight of Camelot that was incredible as well. She's just the greatest!

It's awesome you've been getting use out of the archive, even if you didn't have a tumblr account until now. That's my goal, really, so it's reassuring to know you were able to find and utilize it.

I just read your fic it's so good!!!! I also downloaded it to keep forever and ever. :^) I'm so flattered you would send me this and mention me in the notes, you're too kind. It's genuinely wonderful you were inspired to make something and share it after all that time, it's the best feeling in the world. I've been slacking on writing my own books (and feeling bad about it) so this message made my night and really reassures me that I can reach people with my work.

Thank you for reaching out and sending me your amazing story. I wish you all the best on your creative endeavors. Have a beautiful week. <3

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's episode...

[spoilers below cut]

A KAREN EPISODE?! LET'S GOOOOOOOOO

(the following is my live reaction:)

oh, hey Luke, promoting the merch I see. [*gives thumbs-up to the SMG4/Glitch Team*] Good for you :)

Karen, hi! Hmm, not much going on, huh?

Dude, I feel bad for her. Like, can we get her an actual job and more than just minimum wage?

I'm gonna guess and say she took it only because she'll be in low profile from being a former assassin.

can she work in Three's Coffee & Bombs? please please please please please please

It makes total sense for her to take the night shift, her kids would be sleeping

Augh, and it's 6 am when she gets home. Girl, please get some rest! I know it's not gonna be a lot but it's something

also nice nod to the Alarmo clock, gotta be consistent

and i oop

damn, even Shroomy quit

... [*slow tap on the head*]

oh god, I legit thought Karen was gonna give an iPad to Katie, glad I was wrong (NOT THE IPAD KIDS)

[*wheeze*] sorry but I was rewatching the Sonic 3 trailers (bc they're fire) and just seeing Cory speed-dancing on the wall changed everything for me, I can't unsee it now

...FNAF?

Oh I wasn't the only one, ok

As a sibling, I can confirm that siblings share the same braincell

back by unpopular demand [*opens the door*] Me! /ref

never expected the SMG4 Theory episode to come back but here we are :)

[*breakdances epicly*] Mario's brain never stopped dancing since the Mario React episode from last week

"If you joiiiiin, you'll be able to behave your kids. You just gotta vow your life to our religion." Mario, that's a cult

YEAH KAREN, EXACTLY

wait... NONONO GO BACK!!! Do you guys remember the "We Must Kill Mario" episode?

a spaghetti cult...

is Marty still running it or Mario just missed it so much and thought it was a good idea to copy what they did? hmmmm

[*points at the screen*] there it is, I was waiting for it haha

Love that Mario is scared of reading but has no problem reciting anything related to spaghetti (honestly mood) but also it's way funnier if he was like "oh, I just made that shit up on the spot, I can't actually read"

...there isn't any poison, is there?

awwww, you're willing to do anything for your kids

loving family, my one weakness [*dies*]

NOOOOO NOT THE PHOTO

man, Karen, I know you have to discipline your kids and you're frustrated but that wasn't the right thing to say

AND YOU HAD TO SHOW ME THAT, STOP I'M FRAGILE

that's good, she's calmed down and willing to apologize

have you seen the spaghetti? well, now you have :D

HOLY SHIT did they make Minecraft models just for this? Hell yeah!!

A brawl is surely brewing, you're up!

oooh hold up, this animation though, that's fire

you activated a trap card!

ofc Karen's skills come in handy here, it all pays off boys

it's good that Karen acknowledges all of this and sees how awesome her kids are (no, I'm not crying, what are you talking about?)

i'm so normal ← SOBBING

how dare they show me sweet loving family moments? THEY CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS

just Karen spending time with her kids at the end is so sweet

... and Mario's still here too, ofc

THE SPAGHETTI GODS HAVE RISEN

everyone has to bow before the all-mighty (yes, even you c'mon)

Congrats to rPrP_99 for your art being featured at the end credits 🎉

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

This was a fantastic episode, bravo! I absolutely loved how in-depth Karen's character was. Being a parent is hard with the ever-lasting question of "how do you give them happiness but also be their guide?"

In a way, Mario did teach her how to parent in his own way, which is very on-brand for him let's be honest here. I find this episode curious because of how different Karen was, compared to Mr Puzzles' dad. (That's right, I'm bringing him into this.)

Mr Puzzles' dad is a complete hypocrite, telling his son not to follow his dream and yet critiquing him for not having creative vision. He neglected his son who ended up watching TV all day and eventually cutting off his own head. (No, we're not going to pass by that.) And this was merely the tip of the iceberg, who knows what else his dad did to his son. Now, I'm not excusing what Mr Puzzles did because (1) we don't have the whole story, and (2) how much accountability Mr Puzzles truly had. Don't get me wrong, I love Mr Puzzles because of his character but I am neutral about him potentially having a redemption arc.

Change is a big step and it takes a lot of bravery to take it. It's one thing for someone to offer help, but it's another to seek it yourself. If Mr Puzzles wants to change, then sure, let him redeem himself. If he doesn't, well then it's the choice he made. That's the reality of it all that some people don't want to change and we have to accept the fact that we can't do anything to change their minds. I truly believe his dad was one of them, he would be a narcissist.

In comparison, Karen is very complex, having to take multiple jobs to support her family. But no matter what, she loves her kids and tries every way to bond with them. Support them. Even if she doesn't fully understand it, she tries and that means a lot more than one could think. Of course, when it comes to kids, you have to earn their trust, and sharing interests is one of the ways to do it. Bonding is meant to be natural and it's what Karen learned. To observe. She admits that she was in the wrong and apologized to them. She said it herself, she was proud of her kids, how they could be so creative and resourceful. And that should be no surprise, they're her kids after all.

So yeah, all of this to say, "and the best mom of the year award goes to..."

ANYWAY, I loved this episode overall and so glad that Karen got to be in the spotlight again. We even got to see some of her assassin skills come into play! Also, that animation in the Minecraft world, that was awesome. Whoever animated it, props to you 👏👏👏 The only critique I have was that the kids in the chaotic parts were a little too much for me, but maybe that's just me idk.

That's all from me! Now, if you excuse me, I'm gonna go back to writing angst :)

[hughjidiot]

Total Drama Island Reboot Season Two: Episodes 2, 3 and 4

Okay wow, was not expecting three new episodes at once. Again I am baffled by both the local and international release schedules. But I'm continuing to watch and enjoy this reboot, here are my rough impressions of all the characters in all three episodes. Spoilers below the cut, obviously.

Chase is out second. Pretty obvious boot with how he behaved in the challenge, but that's just how TDI is sometimes. Glad he went early if I'm being honest since his whole subplot with Emma had run its course and there wasn't much more to get out of Chase. Speaking of which though...

Emma was out fourth, which kind of surprised me. I thought she might get an arc of finally forgetting about Chase and moving on, but then she goes and gets eliminated. Maybe they're saving an Emma arc for if gen 4 gets a third season? Who knows. A little disappointing but not a huge loss.

And between them, Millie is out third. Not surprising if I'm being honest; Millie had a chance to train up to be a stronger player with Priya's help, but neglected to actually study for it. And then in episode 2 when she tries to think creatively to help her team win, her lack of social skills is what did her in when she failed to consider how pissed her team would be for tricking Damien down the most dangerous slide. Her elimination feels like a natural consequence of her own actions and shortcomings instead of the contrived coincidences that Total Drama was guilty of many times in past seasons.

Then there's Damien himself. So far he still hasn't done a whole lot, but he's definitely shown to have become more self-confident with the way he called out Millie and how he was willing to brave that rickety bridge in episode 3. Time will tell if he makes it far.

Zee continues to be hilarious. Not really having much of an impact in terms of plotlines with other characters, but he always gets a laugh out of me. "Not thinking is my specialty!"

Gotta say, I thought Priya would have at least shown a little more of a reaction to her bestie being voted off. Still her plotline with Caleb is interesting. I can picture this leading to drama down the road where she realizes Caleb has just been trying to build an alliance rather than flirt with her. Or who knows, maybe Caleb will develop genuine feelings for her and it becomes a ship. Could go either way.

Speaking of Caleb, he represents the biggest difference between the writing of the reboot and previous seasons. Not once does the show portray him as antagonistic in trying to manipulate Priya into an alliance; he's just trying to form a strong partnership to make it farther in the game. Helps immensely that Caleb isn't actively cruel like Heather and Alejandro; he's genuinely chill despite his determination. Him literally carrying most of his team in episode 3 was awesome, not gonna lie.

Nichelle continues to dominate and be awesome in challenges. However I can't help but notice she's not really trying to get close to anyone, like Caleb is with Priya for example. I have a feeling that could come back to bite her if people vote her off for being a potential threat ala Caleb in season one.

I'm loving Axel so far. She's much better about being a team player but also hasn't lost her edge. I also like how we're getting depth to her, like her love of poetry. And then there's her romance with Ripper which I did not see coming. More on that later.

Holy shit, I was hoping for more of the MK/Julia alliance, but I wasn't expecting this much! I'm loving MK's unorthodox strategy of disguising as an intern to get inside information, it's very unique.

Oh and MKulia might become a thing. "Oh stop it, you'll make me blush!" "If MK's brain drove a cool car, I would totally date it." Watching these episodes I was like Wait are they gonna go there? Oh my god they might actually go there! And if they do, I am here for it!

Wayne and Raj continue to be very wholesome and hilarious! I love the dynamic they bring to Team Skunk Butt, wanting to play fair while Julia and MK cheat. And stuck in the middle...

is Bowie. I'm loving the drama of his character arc: he's still willing to pull the same underhanded tactics he used in season one and is all in on MK's strategy, but now has Wayne and especially Raj are acting as his morality pets. Some are predicting this could lead to a Rajbow break up, but I honestly don't think they'd do that. What I think will happen is Team Skunk Butt loses a challenge despite MKulia cheating again with Bowie's knowledge, Bowie feels terrible, and to make it up he offers to eliminate himself if one of the Hocky Bros is about to be voted off.

Last but not least, Ripper. Gonna be honest, he was my least favorite of gen 4 in season one; I didn't care for his focus on gross-out humor and he survived eliminations over characters I liked more. I didn't expect much from him going into season two so I was blindsided here. Not only is his gross out humor significantly toned down (but still present) but he proved to be quite endearing with his insecurity over his crush on Axel. I was especially stunned in episode four when he actually tried to connect with Axel's interest in poetry and actually wrote a poem for her, something I could never see season 1 Ripper doing. And Axel reciprocating with a kiss despite not seeming interested in him earlier? My haw hit the floor. Before I was hoping he'd be an early boot, but now I find myself actually wanting to see Ripper stick around and see where things go with him as a character and his potential relationship with Axel. I... actually like Ripper now, which is a sentence I never thought I'd say.

A few minor issues aside, I am loving this new season so far. I haven't genuinely enjoyed Total Drama since the original TDI 15 years ago.

[taccobelle]

WELCOME TO MY BOOK CLUB 📚

First rule about The Book Club? talk about The Book Club!

Here in TaccoBelle's book club 📚 is where I will keep a collection of all my favorite recent reads and their authors, in no particular order!

I can't always help in more impactful ways, like commissions, but I can definitely share the content!

if you'd like to join my book club give send an ask! let's make a community of these awesome reads!!

Disclaimer: due to some suspicious and disgusting events happening on this site involving a minor, I feel the obligation to reinforce that most, if not all, of these stories are 18+. They contain content that is NOT suitable for minors, so please do not interact! Mature themes will/may be discussed in these stories that is definitely not appropriate for minors. I do not claim to be the author of any of these works, merely a fan

TaccoBelle's Book Club

Simmer: Jim’s Midnight Grill -line cook! Eddie Munson x Shy Fem! Reader

Author: @upsidedownwithsteve

Summary: welcome to hawkins' number one diner! where the staff don't wanna be there and the linecook is a grumpy metal head who likes to argue with his boss and ignore everyone else. but the new waitress can't hack the rude customers and the regulars can be a little... much.

What to expect: “serving up indiana heatwaves, slow burns, walk in freezer breakdowns, late night talks, shared shakes and food as a love language. order extra spice for $4.

141K, a linecook!au with eddie munson and shy fem!reader.”

My thoughts: I absolutely found this fic by chance, and boy am I glad I did! The writing for this fic is absolutely amazing, the way I feel every single emotion the author wrote was crazy! Eddie is this story is such a little grump and the contrast of the shy teacher was so adorable, my favorite moments were when she was being defiant towards him and he didn’t know how to act because no one had ever stood up against him in his kitchen 🥹 totally recommend, this is a slow burn and I thrive in slow burns, can’t wait to read more from this author!

The Breakfast Club - Eddie Munson X Cheerleader!Reader

Author: @radioactiveparker

Summary: Five high school students from different walks of life endure a Saturday detention under a power-hungry principal. Each has a chance to tell his or her story, making the others see them a little differently. And when the day ends, they question whether school will ever be the same. (A retelling of The Breakfast Club, written and directed by John Hughes.)

What to expect: Enemies to lovers / All Characters Are 18+ / Strong Language / Sex References / Mentions of Abuse (physical and emotional) / Cheating / Bad Relationships / Dysfunctional Families / Arguing / Materialism / Kleptomania / Stereotyping / Sexual Orientations / Drug Use / Mentions of Alcohol / Smoking / Pyromania and Fire / References to Demonianism and Satanism / References to Religious Beliefs / Social Alienation / Angst / Hurt-Comfort / Use of Y/N (like once or twice) / Eddie is a complete asshole

“A/N: This mini series is set in its own little world, so it does not follow the Stranger Things timeline, and I have taken some creative liberties with most characters. Yes, they are all still in high school (final year and 18+), and yes, some of the events don't match up - just forget everything you knew about Stranger Things, it's easier that way haha.”

My thoughts: I am in absolute love with this series and can’t wait for updates ! I am so obsessed with the Breaksfast Club narrative, the enemies to lovers, the popular girl x school freak. It’s so enticing and I am a sucker for it! But what the author does that I am loving is that they set themselves apart from the original movie, js the interaction of the reader with other characters, I won’t spoil it, but it’s a little heartbreaking 💔 from the little that I have read from the 3 chapters so far, it is great!

Not Very Noble

Author: @allthingsjoeq

Summary: Your kingdom is placed under threat of liquidation, the villagers crying out for help as each day they enter greater poverty. As their princess you have been chosen to amend the broken monarchy, creating a truce between the neighbouring royals, and fulfilling a marriage decided by the King. A low-ranking knight and Princess both from reverse backgrounds thrusted together against choice, they descend into a journey of Hate, Lust and Love all while caught in between a circle of lies.  

What to expect: Knight Eddie x Princess Reader Disclaimer: Enemies to Lovers, Angst, eventual fluff, light smut to come. Royal and medieval references but they may not all be 100% accurate.

My thoughts: I have a huge fascination with Medieval things, and think there isn’t nearly enough Eddie Munson Medieval themed AU’s and I think that’s a problem! This in particular is so well written, so beautifully put, it made me weep, and cry like a big baby from reading this, and it’s not even complete yet!!!!!! Y’all KNOW how much I buss down for an Enemies to Lovers trope 😩 I really hope they update this soon because I am patiently waiting 🥹

Not Wholly Evil

Author: @uglypastels

Summary: as the daughter of the Governor, there is quite a heavy prize set on your safe return home, and the captain will not let anything come between him and his bounty.

What to expect: "semi dark fic" - READ the warnings:. (gun/sword)violence. blood. minor character death. allusions to suicide. kidnapping. imprisonment. alcohol. open and deep sea. pirates are pigs: frequent mentions of non-con and allusions to assault, but it does not actually occur. malnourishment. abuse. manhandling.

My thoughts: I LOVE me some pirate au, I think it is so incredibly fitting for Eddie to be set in this role. It is still on-going so it only has 2 chapters, but that was enough to make me sign up for the tag list!! It’s is beautifully written, the descriptions are so good it makes me feel like I am IN the Hellfire ship. Super excited to see where this is take me, and I hope they update it soon because it’s my new obsession!

Turtle dove and the crow

Author: @blue-mossbird

Summary: You’ve known Edward Munson since he moved into the farm next door with his uncle - eight years old, odd, and utterly intriguing to you. For ten years, you’ve known him, and over that time, he’s become your best friend. But now, in the dreamy haze of August heat, you begin to know him in a different way. And in this process of knowing and becoming known, lives will be irrevocably changed.

What to expect: 1940s Farm AU, featuring bsf!neighbor!eddie x fem!reader18+ (minors dni). smut; true love; unexpected pregnancy; angst, angst, angst; parental issues; corporal punishment; scheming, plotting, and betrayal; hurt/comfort; period-typical stigma regarding unwed pregnancy; angst with a happy ending. oral (f!receiving), p in v, unprotected sex, breeding kink.

My thoughts: holy shit my dudes, I think I found my new hyper fixation, to add to the list of stories I will check daily for updates! This is only the first episode and it already has me in a death grip 🫥 I am in love with 1940’s due to Bucky Barnes, and mixing Eddie in with that aesthetic threw me for a loop!! This is not the fic for you if you want cannon content, it is clearly set in another world, a different decade, and seems to me like it’s Eddie’s personality adapted for a 1940’s farm boy view, and I think I’m in love. Plus my fantasy of being a southern Belle (that’s my name if you didn’t know) is in an all time high with this. I can already picture all of the angst and all the crying in my bed at 2am this story will bring me, and I’m so excited 🤩

June Baby

Author: @luveline

Summary: you’re a single mom living three trailers down. eddie thinks you’re the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. queue smiley face oatmeal, grossly misused power tools, desserts on the living room floor, a haircut, and an abundance of nerd metaphors

What to expect: teen mom!reader, fem!reader, r is Junie’s birth mother, fluff, hurt/comfort, Eddie ends up being a total girl dad (<3), mutual pining, yearning, etc, tw for not having much money, general loneliness, mentions of a shitty/traumatic pregnancy, general mom struggles :(, slow-burn friends to lovers, you wash Eddie’s hair!!!! this was low-key requested by anon

My thoughts: Honest to god, this is one o the best writing I have ever read on this app. The way Jade uses her words to describe the scenes, ughhhhhhh I can't explain, but Jade writes like a scene of a movie. It does not feel like the supporting characters don't feel like they seize to exist as soon as the main characters move on to a different scene. I love how the supporting characters are all incredibly detailed, feel like real people, and have real people reactions to things; weird, I know, haha. I love how much I adore this story so much. it does not feel like a simple fic, like I would invest in a start-up for this to be published into an actual book. It is so good, so sweet. I absolutely adore this story. It makes my heart do three summersaults per second every time Jade posts a new chapter, the characters have my fucking heart 🥺

Meet The Munsons

Author: @mypoisonedvine

Summary: you were barely acquaintances in high school, but his reputation as a delinquent and freak didn't exactly endear you to him. now he's moving in. at the risk of being too literal: oh, brother.

What to expect: kind of incest, but not really? male masturbation, swearing, mentions/implications of a deceased parent, reader is a tad judgmental but that's what character development is for!

My thoughts: I have read and re-read this story about three times. If I'm not mistaken, this is the only complete one on this list. I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! it made me so giddy. a grown woman giggling and kicking my feet like a little girl. I love the evolution of the characters and the way, slowly but surely, their feelings start to slip out, and by the end, you are totally like, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST HOLD HANDS, I BEG OF YOU. Not gonna lie, the "kind of incest" threw me off at first, but then you find out that they aren't actually related in no way possible; the reader's mom marries Uncle Wayne, and they are not raised together, so their not that weird situation of raised like siblings, which would make it really weird when they make out pretty heavily. Can't believe I'm defending incest.

The "Yes" Policy

Author: @pinkrelish

Summary: After a lifetime of questionable decisions, you moved from the big city to the sleepy town of Hawkins with your best friend and took the first job you saw: answering phones for the most boring auto shop in the dullest place on Earth. It wasn't exactly the adventure you wanted it to be.. but attempting to win over the jaded mechanic who insisted on ignoring your existence proved entertaining.

What to expect: slow burn, eventual smut, strangers to lovers, flirting, mutual pining, angst, drug/alcohol mention/use, depictions of poverty, sort of grumpy x sunshine, but Eddie's just tired, reader and Eddie are mid-late 20's

My thoughts: This fic singlehandedly made me fall in love with the sunshine x grumpy trope, the thought of Eddie being a girl dad makes my heart double in size. Him being a single dad, Wayne being grandpapi is too cute! them doing their best to provide the best for their little princess, and the relationship between Miss Mouse and Adrie has my heart.

To Have and To Scold

Author: @icallhimjoey

Summary: Your best friends are getting married, and who else can they ask to be their best man and maid of honour but you and Joe? It's just that... you don't really get along all that well, do you? At least, that's what you think.

What to expect: CW / disclaimer: sort of enemies to sort of lovers (very vague, im sorry, but you'll see), language, drinking, rpf, fem!reader

My thoughts: I don’t usually like reading real person fics, like when the character is actually a real life person, I much prefer a fictional character because otherwise sometimes I get weirded out. That being said, I decided to give this fic a try, and I must say that I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed the story. I picked it up and couldn’t put the phone down till I finished! The characters are engaging, and story is so sweet 🫶🏼

Bad Idea

Author: @lunarzstarz

Summary: Not wanting to leave for college with your virginity still intact, you turn to your last resort that you know can only end terribly…

What to expect: NSFW 18+ minors dni, drugs, first Times, oral (F receiving), fingering, protected sex, nicknames (Princess/Sweetheart), Eddie being a goof but also an asshole (Slightly proofread) Fuckboy!EddieMunson x Virgin!Fem!Reader

My thoughts: smut, plain smut. And I love it. Eddie is kind of a dickhead, not gonna lie, but then he starts to show signs of falling for the reader, regular shmegular lowkey toxic trope, but I love it!!!!

Crayons and Cassettes

Author: @comfort-writing

Summary: You are a kindergarten teacher. Eddie’s daughter, Sage, is in your class. She bonds with you instantly, and Eddie is trying not to do the same.

What to expect: his fic will be 18+ in later chapters, so minors DNI! In this chapter, it is mentioned that rumors about Eddie still linger. no use of y/n. I can think of nothing else for this chapter because it’s just an introductory one, but please let me know if I missed anything!

My thoughts: I have not finished this fic yet, but s far it is amazing!! Eddie is so nervous and so sweet, but still nerdy, and charming.

Honey I'm Home

Author: @trashmouth-richie

Summary: you were desperate for a roommate after Nancy got married and moved out. An ad in the paper goes unanswered until someone comes knocking on the door.

What to expect: enemies to lovers trope, eventual smut, language, crude behavior, Eddie is a fucking menace.

My thoughts: I honestly fell in love with this story, it is so mysterious, and so touching, funny, endearing, and most of all, a big tease. I fell in love with these characters, and their personalities, how they are together, and how the interact with one another. The idea of an older protective Eddie, that is conflicted with the thoughts of seeing Tooty as a little girl, but now she is a grown woman is mesmerizing to read, and Richie does an amazing job at writing it all so well.

Disjointed

Author: @boomhauer

Summary: Nurse!Reader is reunited with her high school crush in the emergency room. Faced with a lifetime worth of debt, she helps Eddie in the only way she can.

What to expect: Fake marriage. Friends to lovers. Medical trauma. Lemon/Smut. Angst. Slow burn. No Vecna!!

My thoughts: This a new type of fic for me, I had never read anything in the nursing realm, an amazing first! I appreciate the reality of it all, from what I understand the author has personally experienced some of these scenarios, and im guessing has been/is a nurse practitioner, so makes for an extremely believable, and amusing plot!!

Twenty Four Hours

Author: @ghost-proofbaby

What to expect: modern!Eddie Munson x fem!reader, uses female pronouns on occasion. strong language, eventual smut, upside down does not exist, minors dni

Summary: in which Eddie Munson and you absolutely hate each other's guts. what happens when your friends make a bet that you can't spend more than twenty-four hours consecutively together? modern!college!eddie x college!fem!reader

My Thoughts: I love Enemies to Lovers trope!! This fic is full of stunning writing, amazing visual descriptions of feelings, and hot-ass characters! this made me cry on multiple occasions, in a good way! Though I am a crybaby. Eddie is such a sweetheart in this, and mean in some chapters, but it's all for the feels!!

Smoke Signals

Author: @eddies-house

What to expect: Grumpy!Eddie Munson x shy!reader, uses female pronouns on occasion, strong language, eventual smut, PTSD, trauma, talks about trauma, mentions of death, mentions of bullying, minors dni, set in a town other than Hawkings

Summary: Relocating to the small town of Knife’s Edge in hopes of leaving your old life behind and starting brand new solves all of your problems, right? Wrong. It only creates more and one of them may live right next door. Side effects may include blaring music at 3AM, a scowling neighbor, and one too many shots of tequila on several occasions. (That The Bourbon will not be comping.)

My Thoughts: I love Enemies to Lovers trope! That much isn't any news to you guys! This fic is so lovely written, I love how real the characters feel, and how immersed I was in reading this, I am so related to the character because I too am a crybaby. Eddie is such a sweetheart in this, I just want Bambi to hug and kiss him 🥹, and mean in some chapters, but it isn't in a toxic sort of way.

Begin Again

Author: @abibliophobiaa

What to expect: Eddie’s post-S4 trauma; panic attacks; nightmares; family member loss; grief; alcohol use; mild smut in later chapters, so 18+; additional warnings to be added. Eddie Munson x afab!reader, sunshine!reader x grumpy!eddie vibes

Summary: The year is 1988. After the loss of a beloved family member, you find yourself inheriting an old coffee shop. The quiet bartender at the Hideout across the street just so happens to catch your eye.

My Thoughts: you know that I love sunshine!reader x grumpy!eddie vibes! This fic is so nicely written, It has long chapters which I fiend for, I absolutely adore it when a fic has 20K words in one chapter, it only has 4 of them because it takes place as a chapter for each season, which is generous btw, wish I'd thought of this!

Beast of Burden

Author: @neonghostlights

What to expect: Fuckboy!Werewolf!Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader Eddie gets called a man-whore (not by reader), mates, cussing, mention of almost hitting an animal with your car (doesn't happen but almost does), parental and grandparent death (readers whole family is dead) 18+ only, minors dni

Summary: (doesn't really have a summary, but this post the author made pretty much sums up) "I’m thinking about fuckboy!werewolf Eddie. Let’s say he’s gotten around with every girl in Hawkins because he never thought he’d have a mate. That was until you, a human, showed up and proved him wrong. Now he has to find a way to prove himself to you."

My Thoughts: yeah! fucking sue me, I like werewolf fanfictions! I can't really blame it all on Twilight, except I absolutely will blame it all on Twilight. But I swear this is really cute, and I live for it!

[squish36-writes-and-draws]

It's Easier if I'm to Blame, Yeah, It's Easier to Numb the Pain

Word count: 2919

TW: Near-death experience

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @faggot-friday @kamikothe1and0nly @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously @poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @did-i-say-you-could-get-up @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes @callum-hunt-is-bisexual @xanadaus @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @arson-anarchy-death @dizzeners @thefoxysnake @olivedumdum @loveution @notyourlegacygirl

On Ao3 or below the cut!

Once again, this was a thing for my creative writing class, but this one was actually supposed to be a fanfic, not just a barely-concealed fanfic like the other two. Essentially this is that one scene in Neverseen where Fitz and Dex become friends. Yes, I know it's been done before. I've done it before. This is the most hinged fanfic I could write and to be fair I wrote kotlp chapter 3 like two years ago and this is from Fitz's pov. It's completely different

    “Can I…um…talk to you for a sec?” Dex asks, his voice sharper and brighter than it has any right to be, ripping a spiraling Fitz out of his daze. 

    For Physic to admit so plainly that he just nearly died that’s—that’s terrifying. 

    Sophie might go through that on a far too regular basis, but for Fitz to get that close to his own demise makes him feel things he’s never felt before. It’s a kind of fear and a lack of control he’s never had before, even while he was watching Sophie drag herself back from the edge of fading away. 

    It’s an even deeper affront to his being than that. Elves are supposed to have an indefinite life span; they aren’t built to process the concept of their own mortality. 

    “Uh…sure,” Fitz replies slowly, glancing up to find Dex studying the floor. 

    Fitz’s Mom herds Keefe and Sophie out of the room, and Physic follows suit, her bejeweled half-mask glittering in the sterile lights as she goes. Keefe, ever insufferable, proclaims that he’s going to be eavesdropping. Fitz throws a pillow at him for his impunity. 

    It is very quickly made obvious that this was a bad decision as Fitz’s chest screams with pain. 

    The inky veins of arthropleura venom may have been drawn out of his skin, but he still has a long way to go before he’s fully healed. Physic’s scolding tells him as much. 

    The look Physic gives Keefe as she warns him to not throw it back is unexpectedly familiar, but Fitz can’t quite figure out why. At least the pillow isn’t allowed to make a return. Keefe is sure to remember this, though. Fitz will regret it one day very soon. 

    Dex waits for several seconds, head turned to the door, watching for the slightest sign that Keefe might be making good on his promise. Eventually he gives in and turns his attention back to the floor, gaze occasionally flicking up at Fitz. 

    Fitz smiles reassuringly, to no effect. 

    “I’m so sorry,” Dex whispers, voice ragged. He’s so quiet, Fitz wonders if Dex actually said anything or if his thoughts were just so loud that Fitz’s Telepathy picked up on them. 

    The next time Dex dares to look at Fitz, a tear streaks down Dex’s cheek. He quickly swipes it away.

    More than that, though, is the guilt etched into every single line, every single freckle. 

    Guilt is the most dangerous emotion an elf can have. Fitz has seen its effects. His father’s mind broke from the weight of Prentice’s conviction. 

    The ironic part is that Prentice’s sentence was to spend the rest of his indefinite lifespan with his mind broken for assisting the Black Swan and, now, Fitz, Biana, and their Mom have joined that exact same organization.  

    And, yes, Sophie was able to heal his Dad, but what if she couldn’t this time? What if Dex shattered and Fitz was the reason why? 

    I’ve already had to go through losing someone because of Prentice’s exile. I can’t let it happen again. 

    “Dex, listen to me.” Fitz waits until Dex’s eye contact lasts for a whole second. “I don’t blame you. I don’t blame you in the slightest—”

    “It was my gadget! It’s why you’re like—like this!” Dex’s voice cracks as he gestures to the bed Fitz is going to be trapped in for the next week. 

    Fitz’s hackles rise, meeting Dex’s anger head on. Anger is a safe emotion, at least until he starts saying things he’s going to regret. But he doesn’t care if he regrets what he’s saying so long as Dex understands. 

    “Correct me if I’m wrong, but last I checked, you aren’t a Charger. So unless you’ve suddenly manifested another ability and then didn’t spend a week proclaiming it to anyone who would listen, that was not your fault.”

    Dex’s voice takes on a dark edge. “Zarina wouldn’t have been able to do this.” 

    Memories of Councillor Zarina, lightning crackling in her palms and the faint whiff of ozone it caused as the air electrified, rush through Fitz’s mind. “She would’ve happily electrocuted any one of us if she thought it was the right thing to do.”

    “Since when has the Council acted upon ‘the right thing?’” 

    Fitz’s mouth opens to argue that the Council isn’t malicious, just overly cautious with a tendency to cover up every possible controversy, no matter how small, but he thinks better of it. The memories of Sophie’s Ability Restriction surface, too fresh in both of their minds to ignore. 

    Dex probably blames himself for that, too. But that isn’t his fault, either. He set out to build an Ability Enhancer. It was the Council that twisted it into what it became. He was just following orders to not get his family banished. 

    “Since when have you not blamed them for every inconvenience you’ve ever experienced?” Fitz smiles amusedly, a recent event coming to the forefront of his mind. “I think one day I heard you probably working on your gadgets around five in the morning cursing them out. I don’t think they gave you that paper cut.” 

    “Okay, most importantly, why were you awake that early? And how could you hear me? We are quite literally in separate treehouses. And, also, it was a splinter, not a paper cut, thank you very much.”

    Dex’s petulant smile doesn’t quite reach his dimples. 

    “I’m surprised Biana hasn’t told you about the horror stories of living with me. I’m apparently what’s called a ‘morning person’ and I should be placed in the Sanctuary to prevent the extinction of my species because it’s critically endangered.” 

    Dex’s smile widens, becoming more sincere. He looks like he almost wants to laugh, but his lips stay pressed together. That’s when Fitz makes it his personal mission to make Dex laugh before he’s allowed to leave this room, even if humor as a coping mechanism is Keefe’s specialty. 

    Fitz’s grand plans are suddenly impeded by a coughing fit, every muscle in his chest protesting with every single movement. A metallic taste tinges the back of his tongue and the skin of his chest feels impossibly tight. Between coughs, he can see the guilt flashing across Dex’s face, and it makes his chest ache in more ways than one. 

    Fitz doesn’t even get the chance to catch his breath before Dex begins a rambling apology. “I’m sorry I did this to you, and I’m sorry about the Ability Restrictor, and I know it wasn’t used on you but I’m still sorry about how it turned out, and I’m sorry for that day you came to the store and I acted like a buffoon, and I’m sorry for—”

    Fitz interrupts him before he can work himself into even more of a mess. “How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t blame you for what happened with the arthropleura?”

    “But you should.” 

    “There was absolutely no malicious intent behind anything that went down. You need to stop blaming yourself.”

    Dex shakes his head. “Intent doesn’t absolve me of responsibility.”

    “Fine, then. Why don’t you blame the Council? You can do that. It’s very easy to get pissed at Councillor Zarina for short circuiting your gadget. It’s even easier to blame Councillor Clarette for calling the arthropleura there in the first place. Who’s to say no one would’ve gotten hurt if your mini smoke machine gadget thing hadn’t decided to be extra explosive?”

    Dex looks…thoroughly unconvinced. 

    “Or, if you want to think about it this way, I share responsibility too. If I hadn’t thrown your gadget down the hallway, things could’ve gone very differently. Worse differently, but still differently. You can blame me for everything, you’ve done it before.”

    Dex has returned to studying the floor, the uneven lines of light gray grout separating the slightly darker gray tiles. It’s the only room Fitz has seen in the entirety of Alluveterre that doesn’t feel like it’s a treehouse. It’s empty, cold, and smells faintly of hand sanitizer. “I used to hate you, you know,” he whispers. 

    His inflection on the word ‘hate’ seems to imply that those feelings might not entirely be in the past, but they certainly aren’t what they used to be. He wouldn’t be getting this worked up if someone else—like Stina—was the one impaled by the antennae of an oversized millipede. 

    “Yeah, I do,” Fitz replies simply, not breaking eye contact. 

    “And that doesn’t bother you?”

    “I mean, I don’t entirely understand what I did to merit that kind of response, but, like, you’ve been more than willing to tolerate me in recent months. Why should I let that bother me? The past is in the past and it’s not like it’s going to reemerge.” 

    Dex turns away from Fitz, now studying the window that looks out onto the treehouses that make up Alluveterre. 

    Fitz can’t really see outside that well with the whole staying-horizontal thing, but Alluveterre itself has taken on a new atmosphere after going to Exile. 

    It should feel more open, but they’re both just as underground, just as claustrophobic. 

    The feeling of being trapped in that place, struggling for every breath as the venom coursed through his veins, is going to haunt him for a long time.

    Maybe that’s the real Vacker legacy…nearly dying in the middle of Exile going to visit Prentice. 

    The surrounding circumstances around the visit couldn’t be much more different. His Dad went down there with Sophie to break Fintan’s mind. He went there to break Prentice out. 

    So much has changed in so few months, there’s no saying where it might go here. All Fitz knows is that Dex is an incredibly skilled Technopath and that he would rather have Dex on his side than against him.

    Dex has the capacity to be scary when he wants to be, but he can also be incredibly stuck in his own head, like right now, as he continues to stare out the window. 

    “What if the past does reemerge?” he whispers. 

    Fitz looks at him, but he doesn’t turn to make eye contact. “Nothing is going to be a linear process. If you end up deciding that your initial opinion of me was correct, I might get a little mad. That’s just how I react to things sometimes. And I also have an intense desire to be liked by everyone—holy Exile, what was in those painkillers?”

    Dex’s response is almost automatic. “It was actually the Oremideae leaves. I think your Great-times-a-gadjillion-uncle-cousin-whatever discovered them. They’re really good at preventing infection, but they also inhibit a little bit of the blood-brain barrier, both physiologically and psychologically. I didn’t realize they’d kick in this quickly…but, I mean, they were crushed...which would increase absorption rate. I can go if this is weird for you.”

    Fitz can barely focus on the details of what Dex is saying. He goes off on alchemy-adjacent tangents quite often during the limited instances they’ve interacted and as much as Fitz wants to learn new things, there’s something so inherently distracting about Dex. 

    “You don’t have to go. Just don’t get mad if and when I say something stupid.”

    “I’m sure you won’t say anything stupid.” Dex’s attention lands on Fitz once again, and he takes a few steps toward Fitz’s bed-prison. 

    “You never know. I am very untrustworthy in that regard.”

    Dex is only a large step away from the foot of Fitz’s bed. He sighs. “I really am sorry for everything and a half.”

    “I thought you were supposed to be good at maths. Infinity plus half an infinity is still infinity. It won’t change. There’s no reason to operate on an infinitely large quantity.”

    Dex’s tone is flat as he says, “It was hyperbole.”

    “Oh.” That would make a touch more sense. I’ll just blame it on my brain not functioning, that’s completely plausible. 

    Dex lowers himself onto the farthest corner of Fitz’s bed. It’s way larger than the ones that Elwin has in the Healing Center at Foxfire, it’s still really close compared to Dex’s normal trend of staying as far away from Fitz as physically possible. 

    But it’s not a level of closeness that’s anything significant in any other case. 

    Dex’s words are low, almost to the point where Fitz thinks his filter has slipped to the point of accidentally reading Dex’s thoughts, but it doesn’t have that familiar echoey quality and Dex is avoiding eye contact once again. 

    “I just want you to know—really know—I’m so sorry about what happened to you. I’d like to promise that it’ll never happen again, but that’s just not something I can guarantee with any level of certainty. That terrifies me to no end, but I guess it just comes with being a Technopath. Hurting everyone around me is just…inevitable.” 

    “Maybe,” Fitz concedes, “but you’ve also saved us so many times with your Panic Switches and even those first two gadgets today that didn’t malfunction. I don’t remember if you heard about me when my Dad’s mind was broken, but, well, I was a bit of an absolute mess and I lashed out at Sophie. Maybe hurting everyone around me is just an inevitable part of my personality.” 

    They sit in silence together for a long moment. 

    Fitz breaks the silence first. “I guess that means that we should be friends. Mutually assured destruction and all that.”

    “Even despite the fact that I used to hate you?” 

    “Yeah. A little animosity will keep things interesting. It’s an integral part of why I’ve tolerated Keefe for so long.”  

     Dex’s laugh isn’t as light as it used to be, back when they didn’t know each other. They’ve both been through so much, and there’s still so much unknown ahead of them in the future. 

    “‘Interesting’ is certainly an interesting word choice. But I guess I’ll try. That’s the biggest commitment I can make. Don’t be mad when I start acting like a blockhead again.” 

    Fitz smiles, struggling to keep his chest muscles from throwing another fit, this time induced by laughter. 

     Dex has been subjected to the worst of the prejudice it can offer, he’s still here fighting for change. He can be bitter at times, but it’s well deserved. Justified, even. Acting like a blockhead would be the least of Fitz’s concerns if he was in Dex’s situation. 

    The idea that the worst Dex could do is act like a blockhead is just so far outside of what he should be allowed, it’s almost comical. 

    Or maybe it’s those Oremideae leaves. 

    Fitz is enveloped by a strong urge to give Dex a hug, but he can’t tell whether it’s from pity, admiration, the realization that he’s truly broken through Dex’s shell for the first time, or something else he can’t quite describe. 

    And that’s the same time that the playful grin drops from Dex’s face. 

    “I should probably leave you to rest and heal. Let me know if there’s anything I can do or get you or—”

    “Actually, I do have one small request, if you don’t mind.” 

    Fitz immediately regrets saying that, but there’s nothing he owns that’s more important to the healing process. 

    “I don’t mind at all. What can I get you?” Dex’s face is lit up, even if he doesn’t want to show it, with the rush of being helpful. It’s the one thing Fitz remembers from that day at the store���Dex’s absolute delight when he knows where something is. 

   “Under my bed, there’s a stuffed dragon. He should be pretty obvious. Please try to keep him away from discovery by others.”

    “By ‘others’ do you mean Biana or Keefe?” Dex asks as he stands, leaving behind an empty, warm corner of the bed. 

    “Yes,” Fitz answers, realizing he’s been smiling like a complete and total doofus long enough to make his face muscles hurt. 

    Dex is gone for a long minute before he returns, brandishing a ruby red dragon, its eyes and sparkles twinkling in the fluorescent lighting as its wings slowly flap from the movement. 

    Elwin may have given Mr. Snuggles to Fitz when Fitz’s Dad’s mind shattered, but it’s hard to remember a time before it was in his life. 

    Fitz hadn’t noticed the emptiness settling into his chest after Dex left, but now that he’s back, Fitz is filled with the kind of longing that doesn’t want him to leave again. 

    “Thank you,” Fitz mumbles as he squeezes Mr. Snuggles so hard it takes a few seconds to return to its original shape. 

    Dex smiles. “Like I said, let me know if you need anything.”

    “Likewise,” Fitz replies. “Although my capabilities might be a touch more limited at the moment.”

    Well, that’s an understatement of the century. 

    Dex leaves without further comment, and Fitz settles himself down into his pillows, clutching Mr. Snuggles close to his chest, the familiar soft fabric a comfort to his otherwise aching muscles. 

    He’s almost drifted off into sleep when Keefe saunters into his room, apparently brought in by the power vacuum left in Dex’s absence. 

    And then his gaze lands on Mr. Snuggles sticking out from under the covers. The unrestrained joy as he wrestles Mr. Snuggles from Fitz’s dazed grasp is refreshing to see after knowing there’s been so many weeks that Keefe has been in such a dismal state. 

    Less refreshing is him parading Mr. Snuggles around and yelling through the entirety of the tree houses of Alluveterre. “You guys have to see this!”

    Unmapped stars, have mercy on me.

[cdmodule]

Okay okay TPOT 9 spoilers under the cut, I already watched it like 3 times but I have to again soon maybe I'll have even more precise thoughts but here's some of my thought So Far

The new BGs/Enviroments floored me. LIKE One of the things I wished to see from the beginning of TPOT was more of the hotel and WE FINALLY GOT THAT AND MORE!

Little extras like the projection from Two to the other teams were so fucking cool

On that note, oh my god The scraps of gelatin's steakhouse and pie's room makes me INSANEEE I squee-d so hard at these

The tone of this episode was so fuckin well done. Fun plot too. At parts this felt like just watching a regular cartoon I'd see on TV too. Even if it was kinda busy and loaded with different plotpoints (?)

Deaths were more creative and violent LOL

Some of the expressions were rly good too

OH AND actual character development! Yay! Pillow's flanderization finally went far enough to have her kill her team on screen and have other's (like bomby) fight back which is a lot more fun than just quick gags that don't rly lead to anything 1 million times. Good to see bomby and taggy get some more characterization. Gaty as well, she was amazing in this ep

On a related note sorta, it's nice they did something with the fact that snowball is made out of snow finally. Small detail but appreciated

In general it just feels like team dynamics are getting more and more tense, which makes sense with less and less members (eliminations are rly getting to a point where every one of them feels so significant like no way this character got out). Seeing Pin care so much about Coiny but still be able to be her own person at the end was great

Also on that, rest in power teardrop you had a good run :salute emoji:

Another fave part of mine:

Ill talk abt this in another post cuz I like them a lot

This was also awesome

This alongside seeing more of the Exit in general + One's reveal ?? There's so much happening LOLL

Lastly, the challenge was just plain fun to spectate. It's fun to see the characters put their all into securing a win all in their own spots rather than last episode just being Don't Fall Into The Water and not much else. We love to see it

[smilesrobotlover]

phantom hourglass >:3

Ok y’all know that this is like, one of my top three fav Zelda games. I ADORE phantom hourglass. I’m gonna talk about it more in detail.

This game is incredibly flawed, but my gosh the good stuff stick out for me. The story is really good to me and very unique compared to other Zelda stories. Taking the ghost ship idea was so neat and I find Bellum a very cool villain despite not having much of a personality. Oshus is an underrated and neat character, and seems to be one of the only characters to do not ask you to defeat the evil villain cuz it’s too dangerous and he doesn’t want you to be responsible for his own problems. And Ciela and Link going to try to head to the ocean king temple despite his protests makes it feel like Link wanted to willingly do it himself is just, very unique to me. I’m not against characters asking Link to fight the battles despite being so young because he’s the main character and you want to be able to play as him so 🤷‍♀️ however having Oshus not act this way really makes me a benevolent kind man and I really like his character a lot. I think Ciela is cute at times and is the best fairy companion to me. Linebeck is my wife like do I even need to talk about him any further? I’m obsessed with this man, his theme song is amazing, his character development is amazing, and he’s just amazing.

The story to me is very cool and natural, and when you’re not in the ocean king temple, the dungeons are very fun! Phantom hourglass has some of the most unique and fun puzzles ever, and it utilizes the DS in such a creative way! The ocean king temple, imo, is more fun second time around with no guide, and the bosses are SO cool and so different from other bosses! And then the ghost ship part, man not enough people talk about that dungeon! The sisters are so obviously suspicious and evil and it’s cool going through the ship seeing terrifying reaper monsters and different traps. It’s a very unique dungeon and I wish the other dungeons were just as unique. The progression through the storyline at this part is good and after the ghost ship, the game just gets better. The temples are far more unique and creative with amazing items. I love the whole thing with the Anouki and the Yook, and having to find the imposter is challenging but so fun. The Goron Chief’s son is yet another underrated character to me and I love how you can control him in the Goron temple! And the different mini dungeons before the main one with the cobble kingdom was so cool! It’s very good that this game may have a very big temple that seems overwhelming, but it’s linear enough that as long as you move forward, you’ll be fine and be able to get to everything! And then heading to the last levels of the ocean king temple are so amazing. You have the phantom sword and you kill phantoms, the guys that you couldn’t kill before!! And the Bellum battles are so awesome with GOOD music. Any song involving Bellum is good. And y’all know my thoughts on bellumbeck, it’s truly one of the best final bosses to me. It’s so desperate and stressful to do such a thing to such a character, and it was also Bellum’s last desperate attempt to defeat Link. It’s just SOOOOO good and this game is underrated and I love it

Now it’s definitely flawed 💀💀 the world is pretty empty with boring islands before the ghost ship. The npcs on these islands aren’t super interesting and the music makes the dungeons feel too samey to me. Like, this game has GOOD songs, but the mid songs take up too much of the game where it’s kinda lame :/ and I cannot stress this enough, Tetra deserved better. She always deserved better. She has been done dirty in every game she’s been in. Always reduced to a damsel in distress, which there’s nothing wrong with those characters, but did it need to be done with Tetra’s character? It sucks the life out of her for me and I just, hate how she’s always needing to be saved. Like come ON Bellum got her TWICE. And lastly, I wish Neri and Leaf got more attention 😔 I have fun playing with three fairies bullying Linebeck.

All in all, I love this game. I really really love it

[theredmaynefiles]

My Story: A Journey of Loss & Depression

Let me start by saying this isn't a blog about Eddie. I'm not sure why I'm even posting this here, except that for the longest time, I've needed some sort of outlet for some of the things I'm struggling with... and as this is my only blog, I guess this is it. Maybe someone out there will read this & be able to relate. Maybe it will help explain why my blog on Eddie has gone largely silent. Or maybe no one will even notice. Whatever. I need to get this out.

So first of all, hey there, I'm Marci. You know me as an Eddie Redmayne blogger, but I'm also a mom to a son who has ASD & a person who has dealt with what seems - to me, at least - to have been a lot of crap to cope with over the past 8 years. And I've reached a point where coping is more like just existing but more on that in a bit. Maybe.

My dad was always the strongest person I've ever known. He wasn't perfect, but he was one of those dads that could fix anything & always knew the answers to anything you want to know. In October 2013, my dad was diagnosed with cancer - specifically non-Hodgkins lymphoma. My family wasn't new to this particular diagnosis, as my brother, Jeff, was diagnosed with the same cancer in 1999. At this point, Jeff was considered in remission after successfully completing chemo & radiation treatment. So we thought we knew what to expect. Thing is, dad's cancer was in his stomach (my brother's started in his neck) & it was extremely aggressive. I became my father's caregiver. Besides cancer, he was diabetic & dealing with kidney failure. We saw doctors 3-5 times a week for the next year+. My dad went through 3 different types of chemo, including one clinical trial. None of it made any difference, and the cancer continued to spread. In January 2015, he was put on hospice, & in May 2015, my dad died. I wasn't entirely unprepared for this - I mean he was on hospice, & I've worked at a hospital & nursing home, & seen how this sort of things goes many times, but seeing it happen to your own dad - & someone who was so freaking strong - was really rough. It was a horrible experience.

After dad passed, a lot of things changed. Jake & I moved into a house my dad had left us, leaving my mom (with whom I'd always had a very complicated relationship, to say the least) on her own. In late 2016, while watching 'Fantastic Beasts', Jake suddenly exclaimed, "Mom, Newt is autistic like me!" It caught my interest, & my blog was born of it. For the next year & a half or so, it was an amazing creative outlet for me. Eddie is an incredibly talented actor & a truly kind-hearted human being, who actually makes it a point to connect with his fans. I've spoken to him a few times during the fan interviews, & he even wrote me a letter during the pandemic, which was both shocking & awesome. To be honest, though, the best thing about my blog was meeting Charlotte, AKA @bespokeredmayne, who has become one of my dearest friends, & is an amazing person in her own right. (total shout out there!)

My mom didn't cope well with my dad’s passing, & in March 2018, she had a stroke. She died less than a month later. I've already said we had a complicated relationship - without going into that much more, my mom was a narcissist who enjoyed hurting people. My feelings about her are still not great, even after she's been gone for over 5 years. I have a lot of guilt about that, but it is what it is. What I don't understand is why, after she died, my creativity died, too. I couldn't blog anymore. Mind you, at this same time, I was dealing with some health issues - I'd been having mobility issues, which I started seeing a doctor for in early 2018, but mom's sudden passing kind of shunted all of that to the side. Still, I can't even begin to explain the way things changed for me, much less to understand why I was so affected.

The next year was okay, we went to England, which was a lifelong dream, & things seemed like they were mostly going well enough, despite my increasing mobility issues as well as memory issues. While sorting through all our parents' stuff to get their house ready to sell, my brother, Jeff, and I became closer - we'd always been reasonably close, I guess. We got along well as siblings, despite an age gap of just over 10 years (he was older). He'd looked out for me when I was  little & we were friends as adults, which is more than either of us could say about our other sibling, who has been estranged from us both since the 90s. So, yeah... we were pretty close.

So I mentioned about mobility issues, memory issues, etc. I had thought that at least part of this was some kind of ongoing complications from a car wreck I was in back in '95. Turns out, it wasn't - I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis 3 years ago. In the time since then, with the pandemic in full swing for much of the time, I became homebound. Besides the MS, I have asthma, & also a vaccine allergy. Between that & the autoimmune disease, I cannot be vaccinated, & I am at high rick for severe covid because of my health. Ironic, no? Add that to my increasing mobility issues & my life became more & more isolated.

The summer of 2021, my brother, in his 50s at the time, was diagnosed with heart failure. The cardiologist he was referred to said this was likely a complication of the chemo he'd had years earlier. In December 2021, just a few days before my birthday, he texted me that he was going to the e/r - this was around 2 in the morning. He texted me one more time after that, & then... nothing. I kept trying to get ahold of him, or the hospital, to find out what was going on, but no one answered until about 4 hours later, when I finally got someone at the e/r. To my absolute shock, she told me my brother was dead. He died less than an hour after his last text to me, of a sudden cardiac arrest. I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it. To this day, I cannot really cope with it. I don't know why it's hit me so hard - I see people who cope with loss & move on, & I did that with my parents, but this one, I couldn't. It was like it was too much, losing both parents & then my brother. It has destroyed me in some way. I'm not the person I was before. So much loss, & then everything else....

One the day my brother died, I went to the hospital to say goodbye to him. I didn't leave my house again until about 4 weeks ago when our cat needed the emergency vet. For a year & a half, I stayed home. (& I haven’t gone out again since bringing our cat home) I work from home as a data analyst. I pay my bills online, & have my groceries, etc, delivered. The only person I see is Jake. My world is so isolated & so depressing. I'm very limited in what I can physically do & that adds massively to the depression. Plus, & this will probably sound selfish, but it's true nonetheless, ever since my brother died, I've felt this sense of impending doom & hopelessness. Like I'm next & it's only a matter of time. I don't know what to do about any of it. I sit here, in my messy house (I hate mess, but I can't physically do most of the cleaning, & Jake doesn't really do cleaning, despite being a huge help to me in other ways) & I exist. Nothing much changes from one day to the next. I feel not only so depressed, but such a horrible anxiety about my life, & about what will happen to Jake if something happens to me. And yet I feel totally helpless to do anything to change any of it. I just feel so emotionally exhausted all the time, like I can't cope with anything at all.

So, yeah... that's me. If you've made it this far, you're probably either bored to tears or disgusted with my moaning. Still, if you've read this, thanks. If anyone reads it, at least I'm not keeping it all to myself anymore. Maybe offloading all of this here will somehow make it easier for me to cope with it. Either way, it's out!

[liquidstar]

Two of my unfortunately setting-less OCs are this gay couple, two late-teenage girls, and they have somehow developed themselves from 'man, rescue-romance and protectiveness and one-fighter one-gentle couples are so cute' to 'the fighter has a fetish for saving her gf from danger and taking care of her. And makes descions for her despite unconsciously knowing she wouldn't like it. And having her ego stroked for being a badass. And the gentle witch is being nice and soothing to her gf to avoid dealing with her own problems, and is too self-hating to admit that she doesn't like being bubble-wrapped or her gf putting herself in danger. Also she has a small Thing for the ghost of fighter's ancestor who looks a lot like her but is more chill about everything but is hiding that for obv reasons.'

THATS A REALLY FUCKING AWESOME AND CREATIVE DYNAMIC THOUGH. i really love the sort of subversion going on between these two that creates this like... codependency of sorts. theyre not exactly capital T toxic but they certainly got things to work out on both a personal and interpersonal level... in theory good communication could help but that largely depends on how willing the first one is to actually listen to these concerns and work on all that. and also the second needs to work on her self love bc </3

im both rooting for them and also wishing to see this all blow up in their faces for peak drama. but hopefully they can salvage it afterwords and end up okay, even if not together? but who knows! the fun part is that theyre your ocs so you get to pick your fave route. im rooting for them and their lack of setting lol

[thewriterowl]

What is even happening with canon sw right now? -_- I am not even invested in them anymore (not even in the mandalorian, which is a shame because it used to be my everything... but man where is the story even going now)

I'll just stay peacefully in the fanon works among awesome clan of three (or more) contents where it's about din being a dad to grogu with luke who isn't being actively erased out of his own franchise :)

Honestly, I am not sure. I mean, I have been aware of this weird anti-Luke sensation within Lucasfilm/Disney for awhile. And i know a lot of things are coming from a sense of a combination of misrepresentation/push for women (and POC, but within Lucasfilm, over Disney, it's the women) which has its perks--but it does mean that many things originally written for characters like Luke are now, potentially, being given to female characters (i.e. Thrawn and Heir to the Empire to Ahsoka). There are great positives and intense negatives to these things within these new shows and it can come down to personal feelings, bias on favorite characters/what is "law" within this fictional universe, and if there is an overreach for profit vs. an actual care for representation (i.e. while Kathleen Kennedy is not great, I feel like her pursuit of female representation has a more positive intent (though can be very exclusive and white-washed) than some of the decisions Disney is making with live-action remakes and just swapping out races (again, there are positives--but there is a lot of profit grubbing and intense laziness to it that feels more like they are trying to appear they are doing something without putting true effort in)).

I will be the first to admit, I am 100% character bias. I adore Luke. I think this should've been his story as the book was intended. I wouldn't have been thrilled if we got him and Mara Jade together--but seeing more of him and being part of a story that is really, really well loved in the SW book community would've made me cry. But, I have to understand Ahsoka is like that for others and this show is going to do the same thing for them--I just really wished she would be getting her own new, creative storyline and that it doesn't seem that Kathleen and Dave hate Luke with a weird passion.

My not as personal, but what I feel is actually a flaw, is the writing. there just feels to be an intense corporate layer to it that is sucking out the stories and characters to sell things.

It started with Book of Boba Fett--there was no need for Din to be included and for it to all of a sudden became The Mandalorian 2.5 when the vast majority wanted a Boba focus story. The bits with Din should've been the first half of season 3, at least, with the series focused just on Boba and his pursuit of Tatooine and self-redemption. But, they wanted the cash of Din and Grogu and the whole series fell apart.

Then Obi-Wan Kenobi. This series was so close to being perfect. But it was too short. It felt like it was actually written and plotted to be 8-10 episodes long (as the Mandalorian) but then all of a sudden they were told "nah, despite this being the MOST asked for character driven piece of media within the franchise, we want the budget and focus elsewhere" and so it just fell a bit short because it wasn't allowed to breathe as it felt like it was supposed to be.

Andor, miraculously, was perfect. But, it didn't feel like was pushed or loved enough. It came after two series that were not as universally loved as predicted (overlooking the said problems that would've fixed them). I am happy we are gonna get the season 2, but I fear executives will try to say any poor numbers are based on the writing for it...while not doing the same for others.

Season 3 of the Mandalorian....it has great parts! There is a lot of fun and lovely things (and i loved Lizzo's and Jack Black's cameos) but it feels like it is a push for theme rides and toys. Everything we have had slowly simmering has just been "oh yeah, this happened".

Like, Bo getting the Dark-saber is FINE. I can see that being the best choice overall. That execution? Not really. Or the helmet and how Bo is accepted but a massive subplot of Din's story was who he was and what he was as a Mandalorian and within his place as the tribe. That is such a beautiful and great character arc that was just...dismissed? And to have him bathe in episode, what, 2? Almost every big or subtle interesting plot within the first two seasons are just being overlooked or handled without any sort of true thought or care, like we as the viewers are fine with basically starting over in the third season.

I am gonna wait to see the whole season to see it together, but it feels choppy and feels lazy and feels like they are trying to sweep Din aside for Bo-Katan to take over, pretend it was the plan all along, without any sort of real and true build up.

I just wish that there wasn't such a intense legal and protective battle to write and publish Star Wars books because I would be using so much energy to have more Luke stories out in the world cause the poor guy needs them at this point.

At least we do have fantastic fan fiction!