#shes regretted it ever since. not the kiss attempt but the way it happened

[poppy-metal]

being jordans first love....the one that got away...thinks and thinks.

[slytherinslut0]

MATTHEO RIDDLE- Beg For Me

Chapter Twenty Three-Info:you and Mattheo have been butting heads for months, since you were assigned as his tutor, and one day during a session full of tense bickering, he has enough.

(This will essentially be a toxic book where we are Theos fucktoy. No love here, very minimal fluff.)

Tags: 18+, SMUT, Heartbreak, ANGST AF, Dirty Talk, PIV, Praise Kink, Slight Degradation, Semi-Public Sex.

FIND THE REST OF THE CHAPTERS HERE.

"Hello? Anyone home?"

Emily's voice echoed through the air of your dorm room, her eyes widening in disbelief as she took in your drenched appearance. There you stood, next to your bed, trapped in the labyrinth of your thoughts, most likely looking like you had genuinely lost your ever-loving mind.

At last, you jerked your head up, locking eyes with her. "Apologies, Em...I'm just utterly drained. Honestly didn't even hear you come in."

"Why are you absolutely soaked?" Emily's tone switched to an almost amused drawl, one you could tell she was attempting to suppress. Her eyes narrowed as she assessed your waterlogged state. "Weren't you with Mattheo?"

Your cheeks flushed under her scrutiny, and you shifted uncomfortably before responding. "Yeah," you admitted, your tone slightly sheepish. "It's a bit of a story, really...Malfoy essentially dared me to jump in the lake, and, well, I couldn't resist the challenge."

Amusement twinkled in Emily's eyes as she settled onto her bed, her curiosity piqued. "Well, that's one way to make a splash," she quipped, a playful smirk gracing her lips. "So, spill the details. Is there some progress being made with those arsehats?"

You cleared your throat, a nervous smile playing on your lips. "I'm trying," you confessed, your voice laced with uncertainty. "It's a work in progress, but I think we're getting there, slowly but surely."

Emily nodded knowingly, her lips curving into a smirk. "Well, if anyone can handle a bunch of mischievous daredevils, it's you," she remarked, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "Just be careful, yeah?"

"Of course," you replied, managing a meek smile despite the uneasy knot tightening in your chest. "Where were you tonight?”

Almost instantly, Emily's demeanor shifted, her gaze darting away, fixated on her fingers as she nervously twirled her chapstick. "I, uh...I was with Tom," she stammered, her voice trailing off uncertainly.

A sudden wave of realization crashed over you, leaving you feeling as if you were adrift in a stormy sea. Emily was with Tom?

You blinked, struggling to find the right words. "You-"

"I think I like him," she confessed, the words emerging strained, as if pulled through clenched teeth, her eyes avoiding yours. "I...I think I really like him..."

Her confession hung in the air, heavy with tension, sending shockwaves through your entire being. Your heart pounded in your chest, each beat reverberating in the silence that followed. You stood there, motionless, breathless, your mind trying to grasp the reality of her revelation. What on earth was fucking happening?

Sensing your stunned reaction, Emily hurriedly left her bed, closing the distance between you two. Her eyes met yours, filled with regret and apology.

"I'm so incredibly sorry," she began, her words tumbling out in a jumbled mess. "I mean, on the night of the party, we connected, and we kissed, and I haven't been able to shake those feelings since...I know you and Tom have been seeing eachother for a while, and I've felt terrible about this whole situation...I'm the worst friend, and I can't believe I let it get to this point...I just...I understand if you hate me or never want to talk to me again-"

"Emily," you interjected, your voice breaking through the heavy silence, your shock slowly giving way to a strange sense of understanding. Despite the chaos in your own life, you couldn't muster any anger. In fact, her revelation felt like a bizarre twist of fate, a surreal kind of perfect. "Me and Tom...we were never anything...I've never had any genuine feelings for Tom, not like that anyway..." you confessed, your words hanging in the air. "It's okay, Em...it's seriously more than okay."

Her eyes, brimming with guilt, met yours. "No… it isn't," she murmured, her fingers absently pushing a strand of hair off her forehead. "I just...I feel like the world's worst friend...I've been keeping secrets and hiding things from you...and that's not like us...I genuinely bloody hate myself for this…”

Her words hit you like a sledgehammer, the weight of your own secrets crashing down on you. How could you judge her when you were harbouring your own tangled emotions for Mattheo? Guilt clawed at your insides, a bitter reminder of your own deception, making it impossible to feel anything but empathy for Emily's confession.

Gently, your touch on her arm was a soft plea for understanding. "Em, please be kind to yourself," you implored, your voice carrying the weight of your own inner turmoil. "I'm far from perfect, and I completely understand...you don't ever have to be scared to tell me anything, I'll always be on your side..."

The desire to confide in her about Mattheo tugged at your heartstrings, but a tempest of conflicting thoughts raged within you. You longed to unburden yourself, to share the intricacies of your emotions--yet, doubts clouded your mind.

You questioned the wisdom of revealing a truth that seemed destined for heartbreak; one that was destined to go no where, especially after Mattheo's own cautionary words. The fear of shattering the fragile semblance of normalcy you'd managed to maintain held you back, leaving you caught between the honesty you craved and the security of your well-guarded secret.

"You're the greatest friend...I don't deserve you," Emily released a long sigh, meeting your eyes softly. "Are you sure you're not upset? I swear I'll never fucking talk to him again if-"

"No! No, Emily...I'm not upset," you said, through chuckles. You were upset, but it had nothing to do with her. "I want you to be happy, Em...Dumbledore once told me that if someone makes you feel, let them..."

"Gods, that man could make a bloody brick wall tear up," she breathed, finally cracking a smile, as though you'd lifted a weight off her shoulders. "I have to say though...I just don't know how you didn't fall for him...I mean, his fucking eyes alone had me melting..."

You released a breath, unable to swallow your smirk. Yeah, his eyes were beautiful, but only because they served as a reminder of Mattheo's--whose deep brown pools were nothing other than completely fucking captivating.

"I know," you said, your voice distant, lost in your thoughts as you stared into the distance. "Tom is wonderful," you continued, your words almost a whisper, the syllables heavy with unspoken sentiments. "It's just that, my heart...it wasn't in it."

Emily's brows furrowed with realization, her eyes darting across your face as though she could read the unsaid words swirling within your irises. "Where is your heart, then?"

Emily's question hung in the air, patiently awaiting your response, but your thoughts were elsewhere, entirely consumed by Mattheo. His captivating eyes, that tousled brown hair, and his infuriatingly complicated demeanor dominated your mind. Despite his dangerous reputation, he had always been your sanctuary--from the way he protected you to the depths of pleasure he led you to, he ignited desires you were hesitant to acknowledge.

Since the day you met him, you had been drawn in, entangled in a web of emotions you couldn't escape. The fear of succumbing to your desires warred with the undeniable pull he had on your heart, leaving you submerged in a sea of uncertainty, unsure if there was a way out of the depths you had willingly plunged into.

Meeting Emily's eyes, you could only confess, "I don't know," your voice tinged with desperation, as if seeking an answer that seemed just out of reach. "I...I have no fucking idea anymore..."

Her face dropped, shock etching lines across her features as she took a few delicate steps back, studying your face intensely. The intensity of her scrutiny made you nervous, your heart pounding so loudly you could almost hear it. You knew she had just realized precisely what the fuck was going on with you lately. You knew she'd finally fucking cracked your code.

You looked away, unable to maintain eye contact, and in a hushed tone, she said, "oh, Gods no...you...he's-he's such an asshole..."

"Yes, he is..." tension gripped your entire being, your body vibrating with nausea as you struggled to find the words. You couldn't bring yourself to meet Emily's eyes, your gaze fixed on the floor as you whispered, "but there's still good in him..."

Emily's eyes widened in disbelief, her shock palpable as she struggled to comprehend your words. "You're going to destroy yourself trying to fix him," she said, her voice edged with desperation. A heavy pause filled the room before she continued, her voice quivering, "He's done terrible things, remember when he sent that poor third year into the infirmary-"

"We've all done terrible things, haven't we?" you shot back, finally looking up at her. The intensity in your gaze matched the fierce determination in your voice. "We're all just sinners judging sinners for sinning differently, but no one ever bloody stops to ask why..."

Your steps were slow, but deliberate, each one echoing with the resonance of your unwavering determination as you closed some of the distance between you and Emily. The intensity in your eyes burned brightly, reflecting the depth of your emotions.

You were acutely aware of how utterly insane you must sound, how irrational and illogical your words might appear to her. Yet, in the depths of your heart, you longed for her understanding, for her to grasp the complexities that lay beneath the surface. You yearned for her to realize that there was a profound depth to your emotions, a truth far more intricate than what met the eye.

"Yeah, maybe he's bad...maybe he's completely fucking terrible," you said, your voice carrying a potent mix of fervor and defiance. "But when he smiles…when I look into his stupid, big eyes...all I see is the good in him..."

A profound silence hung in the air, pregnant with the weight of your words. You gauged Emily's reaction, observing the flicker of disbelief and uncertainty that played across her features.

"I made a promise...to Dumbledore...to myself...to Mattheo," you continued, your voice unwavering, each syllable resonating with unshakable resolve. "A promise that I'd fucking stand by him...that I'd show him patience and compassion...who would I be if I gave up on that?"

"Yeah, but..." Emily's eyes widened, her throat tightening as she struggled to find words to counter your conviction. "He's...he's a monster..."

"He's broken," you retorted, your tone unyielding, the depth of your empathy for Mattheo underscoring your words. "I don't care what happens to me, Em...I am a woman of my word..."

Emily swallowed. "Your heart is far too pure...your heart is going to ruin your future..."

"So be it." You said, flatly, steeling your shoulders as you released a long breath. "I am coming for all the ghosts that have ever haunted him...I am coming for all the demons that twisted his dreams and turned him into the fucking nightmare that he is, and I am going to be theirs, instead."

Without waiting for Emily's response, you brushed past her, your heart racing with anxiety over the fact that you had essentially revealed the truth about your relationship with Mattheo. The weight of your confession hung heavy on your shoulders, but you needed to clear your head. Silently, you made your way out of the dormitory, the echo of your footsteps reverberating in the empty corridor.

The familiar path to the prefects' washroom felt like a lifeline, leading you to the one person who could provide the reassurance you craved. Just as you made your way into the hall, the door creaked open, and a familiar brunette exited, her sly grin sending a shiver down your spine as her eyes met yours. Recognition struck you like a lightning bolt--it was the girl from the library, the one who had been intimately close to Mattheo all those weeks ago. As she disappeared from your view, your stomach plummeted, anxiety tightening into a nauseating knot.

With your heart heavy and anxiety clawing at your throat, you mustered the strength to push open the door. Inside, you found Mattheo, leaning wearily against the sink. His eyes, usually filled with intensity, were dulled by fatigue. His head was bowed, and his shoulders slumped, burdened by the weight of unseen struggles. He remained fully dressed, his appearance reflecting the weariness that mirrored your own inner turmoil.

"What was that?" you questioned, your voice trembling, and your chin quivering with vulnerability, your eyes pleading for an explanation that might soothe the turmoil within. "I thought we were okay?"

The sight of that girl leaving the washroom shattered the reassurance you had desperately sought. Doubts consumed you, racing through your mind like a storm. Had your recent fight driven that big of a wedge between you and Mattheo? Was he seeking solace in someone else's company because he was done with you? The questions multiplied, suffocating you with uncertainty. Your voice emerged as a cracked whisper, breaking the tense silence that hung between you both as Mattheo slowly met your eyes.

"Are we ever bloody okay, Raven?" His voice, laced with a tinge of exhaustion, fell flat, his eyes dark and cold as they bored into you. The endless depths of his gaze seemed impenetrable, hiding any flicker of emotion that might have offered solace. "I'm not even sure what you're going on about, truthfully,"

"The girl," your voice wavered, your vulnerability laid bare, "the same one from the library all that time ago...I just saw her leaving."

Mattheo grumbled irritably, the tension in the room palpable as he pushed off from the sink with a heavy sigh, his movements betraying his exasperation. He spun around, the muscles in his jaw clenched, his eyes stormy with frustration as he leaned back against the counter. His arms crossed over his chest defensively, his entire posture radiating a mix of annoyance and defiance.

"That girl is nothing to me, Raven," he declared, his voice low and gravelly, the words carrying a hint of irritation as he tried to emphasize his point. "Nothing at all."

You desperately wanted to believe him, to cling to his words like a lifeline, but doubt gnawed at your insides, poisoning your thoughts. After everything that had transpired between you, after your last fight, and the way he was acting now, you couldn't simply brush it aside.

"Nothing, huh?" Your voice grew firmer, laced with a mixture of hurt and skepticism. "So it's just a coincidence that you two were alone in here...and that she was grinning ear to ear when she left..."

Mattheo blinked, his surprise evident as he processed your words. This jealousy was uncharacteristic of you, a stark deviation from your usual composed self. His features contorted with a mixture of confusion and frustration, his eyes narrowing and jaw clenching in response to your accusation.

"Do you think I fucked her, Raven?" His words hung in the charged atmosphere, heavy with hurt and disbelief. Each syllable cut through the air, a searing venom that struck your heart like a dagger. "Do you actually fucking think that low of me?"

The raw pain in his eyes mirrored your own, a painful reflection of the trust that had been shattered between you, the wounds now gaping wide open, begging for resolution.

"You don't trust me..." Mattheo's expressions hardened further, his eyes blazing with a mixture of frustration and hurt. The room seemed to shrink around you as he pushed off from the sink, his movements deliberate and forceful, closing the distance between you before you could react. "You don't fucking trust me, do you?"

You tensed, every muscle in your body coiling like a tightly wound spring, bracing for the emotional storm that was about to engulf you. Mattheo stopped abruptly, his instincts sensing your reaction, his intense gaze locking onto yours. Your breathing became shallow, your chest constricted, and time seemed to stretch into eternity as you stood there, suspended in the moment.

"I want to..." your voice wavered, a fragile whisper barely audible in the heavy silence, carrying the weight of your longing and doubt. "But...I just...can't, when there you are...directly in front of me, still so fucking far away..."

You took a moment to study his features, the turmoil in his eyes, the tension in his jaw, and the vulnerability that flickered beneath his anger. His chest rose and fell with every ragged breath, as though his heart was laid bare before you.

"A man with a shield for a heart, and a sword for a tongue," you continued, your voice a fragile thread weaving through the charged air. "How do I confide in that?"

Mattheo's eyes softened, just slightly, the storm within them giving way to a glimmer of sincerity. In that moment, he shed every ounce of hesitation, closing the space between you with an urgency that spoke volumes. His hands found your face, cupping it gently, forcing your eyes to meet his. The intensity in his touch, the tenderness in his gaze, told a story of its own.

"Raven...do you think I fucking care about anything other than you?" His voice, once sharp with frustration, now held a raw, earnest sincerity that cut through the lingering doubts and insecurities. "You're the only one I need...you're the only one that keeps me high..."

Your heart thundered in your chest, the sound echoing in your ears like a war drum, each beat reverberating with the intensity of his touch. His palms, warm against your cool skin, sent waves of heat through every inch of your body, cocooning you in a haze of desire and vulnerability. You blinked, your eyes unable to tear away from the depth of his stare.

"But?" you dared to whisper, your voice barely audible amidst the charged silence, the lump in your throat growing with each passing second. "I know you aren't finished, I see it in your expression..."

He stiffened, his hands slowly falling from your face, the loss of his touch leaving a void. His gaze, dark and intense, traced a path from your eyes down to your lips, the unspoken longing palpable between your bodies. The pain that hung in the air was almost tangible, the emotions that coursed through both of you reaching a fever pitch.

"When you close your eyes...when you think of this...of us, what do you see?" He whispered, his voice a mere breath, the words hanging in the air like a delicate thread. "Do you see a future, Raven?"

The question slammed into your lungs like a sledgehammer, stealing the very air from your chest.  You had never truly considered what was going to happen at the end of the school year, but it was evident that he had, his eyes haunted by the uncertainty of the future.

You sucked in a lungful of breath, trapping it there, the oxygen feeling suffocating against the weight of his question. "I...I don't know..."

"Exactly," he murmured, his voice as soft as a breeze, but carrying the weight of an entire universe. "Something's telling me we're running out of time here, Raven...I always said I'd never deserve you, and I meant that..." he paused, averting his eyes only for a moment as he threaded an unsteady hand through his hair. "If we keep this going...something's bound to give...I can't let you throw away your future for me..."

You stalled, pain rushing through you. This whirlwind of emotions felt like a chaotic storm, each moment with him a battle between your hearts, oscillating from fiery arguments to heartbreaking distance. The constant push and pull had left you emotionally battered, but this time, the pain cut deeper than ever before.

"No...Mattheo...I..." your voice stammered, trembling with the intensity of your emotions. "I would much rather be nowhere with you, than somewhere without you..."

He stiffened, his entire being seeming to freeze in response to your words. "No, Raven, come on...don't fucking say that," he hissed, his voice laced with desperation. "You will not throw away your future for me...for whatever this is...you have to know that is fucking insane..."

"Mattheo, why?" you whispered, your voice breaking as you took a step closer, your heart aching with the weight of his decision. "Why are you doing this...I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for everything I said...I didn't-"

"It's not about that," he cut you off, his tone soft yet resolute. "It's not about any of that. We both know this only ends in blood...why prolong it...I’d never be able to live with myself if I ruined everything you’ve worked so hard for…”

Your chest ached, a visceral pain that radiated through every fiber of your being, your eyes darting all over his face as though seeking solace in the contours of his skin, as if something tangible could save you from this nightmare. He was right. Of course, he was absolutely fucking right. There was nothing you could say to deny his words, the harsh reality of your situation hanging heavy between you.

"I know you're right Mattheo," gently, you brought a trembling hand up to his face, your thumb brushing over his cheek as you cupped the side of his head, your own head tilting slightly as you glimpsed his lips, whispering with a vulnerability that laid bare your soul. "But even if it's meant to fall apart...I still fucking want you..."

"I know," he murmured, his breath warm against your skin, his lips hovering just millimeters from yours. "I fucking know..."

"I'm scared as bloody hell, Mattheo..." you continued, your fingers digging slightly into his skin, his hands seeking refuge on your hips as he pulled you closer against him. "I'm fucking terrified to want you, yet here I am anyway..."

"I'm scared too, Raven..." he confessed, his voice barely audible, pulling you impossibly closer, your bodies melding into one another. "Godric fucking forbid I ever admit it..."

His lips brushed against yours, soft and tender, a delicate touch that held the weight of a thousand unspoken words. In that moment, you knew, without a shadow of doubt, that you two were one and the fucking same. He was more yourself than you ever were. Whatever your souls were made of, his and yours were intertwined in an indescribable connection.

"Give me this before you go..." you whispered, your free hand gripping his shirt for dear life, your voice laced with desperation and longing. "Please..."

Mattheo pulled back slightly, his eyes scanning your face, searching for any sign of hesitation or uncertainty. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," without a moment's hesitation, you nodded, your eyes locked onto his, your conviction unwavering. "I'm sure."

In an instant, he pulled you back into him, his lips crashing onto yours in a searing kiss, the intensity mirroring the state of your crumbling relationship. His hands, strong and sure, quickly slithered up your sides, finding the buttons on your shirt.

Simultaneously, your trembling fingers mirrored his movements, undoing his shirt with a fervor that matched his own. The kiss deepened, your mouths melding together in a desperate attempt to drown out the world, seeking solace in each other's touch as you shed the barriers between you. The passion between your bodies consumed every ounce of your being, a wild, untamed force that pushed back against the chaos threatening to tear you apart.

As soon as the two of you were freed of your uniforms, Mattheo pulled back, his gaze intense, his eyes smouldering against your skin as he urged you to your knees in front of him. Without a word, you obeyed, staring up at him with a widened gaze, tracing the features of his face and chest that you admittedly loved so fucking much. Mattheo's eyes were doing the same, flickering over your curves, the swell of your breasts, the flare of your hips, until finally, they came to rest between your legs.

“You’re fucking beautiful…” he brought a hand up to your chin, tilting your head back to bring your eyes to his, the pad of his rough thumb tracing over your bottom lip, tugging it down slightly before releasing it. “Don’t you think I’d chose some other bitch over you ever fucking again.”

Breath evaporated as he dropped down to his knees in front of you without warning, directing you to lay back, your head resting on a stack of clean towels.

The cool tile of the floor made your back arch and your body shudder as Mattheo loomed over you, his fingers tracing delicate patterns over your thighs as he hovered mere inches above your skin. Each touch was soft, almost reverent, as though he was worshipping every inch of your body. As he leant down to kiss you, his lips were tender yet demanding, his tongue sweeping over yours in a fierce, fiery embrace. You groaned into his mouth, your hands finding his hair and gripping tightly, until he broke the kiss and began to move lower.

His eyes travelled down your neck, reaching your chest where your breasts rose and fell with each exasperated, eager breath. His mouth descended upon one of them, suckling and teasing with skillful precision, making your head dizzy with burning need. It was as though he was worshipping at a sacred alter, paying homage to the very essence of your womanhood, his nails digging into your skin, chaining you to him with more restraint than any bloody shackles ever could.

His tongue traced spirals around your nipple, sending little shocks of electricity straight through to your core, and you mewled, back arching into him and grip tightening in his hair, silently begging for more. As expected, Mattheo delivered, lavishing attention on each peak in turn, flicking his tongue, sucking, and teasing until you were practically crying for release.

"Matty...please…" you whispered as his lips moved lower, tracing a path of heat toward your sex. "There's no time...someone could come in..."

"Eager girl..." Mattheo hummed, smirking against your skin. "Told you you'd love the way I fuck you."

Unable to suppress it, you smirked at his normal arrogance as he pulled back slowly, your eyes following his every move as he freed himself; letting loose that delicious, familiar groan from deep in his throat as he pumped his shaft a few times, his gaze darting over your body, desperate and writhing beneath him--each meticulous movement he made causing an insatiable tingle within your core.

"Mhm," you murmured, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as your hands grazed over his strong biceps, feeling the muscle tense and contract beneath your touch. "That's what I love...the way you fuck me..."

Mattheo blinked, meeting your eyes, a wicked smile creeping across his lips as he processed what you'd just said. The underlying message in your words went unspoken despite their intentions hanging heavy in the air, and without a word, he slid his free hand down between your legs, shifting your panties to the side before he gently teased and swirled over your clit, making you moan out his name without even realizing it. 

"My filthy little girl..." the anticipation was almost unbearable, you were fucking dripping for him and he'd hardly even touched you. "Always so fucking eager for me…”

Inching forward, he aligned himself with your core, leaning down over you, a strong arm taking purchase beside your head, caging you beneath him. As he pushed inside you, the stretch was unlike anything you'd ever fucking felt--the lack of foreplay resulting in a sensation unlike anything else, a perfect blend of agony and ecstasy, as if he was stretching you open and shaping you just for him.

You whimpered softly, doing your best to muffle your noises as Mattheo pushed deeper and deeper, pausing for a moment once he'd fully seated himself inside your heat, giving you a second to adjust to his thick, throbbing length--his eyes never once left yours, his gaze drilling into you as he assessed your reactions, only breaking the eye contact to press a soft kiss to your forehead.

"So fucking tight...fuck-you feel so fucking good..." Mattheo growled lowly, his voice thick with lust--your walls clenching and relaxing around him simultaneously. "Such a good girl, Raven...feel yourself adjust for me, baby."

His voice had a hypnotic effect on you, calming your racing heart and making you focus solely on the feelings coursing through your body. The pain was gone, a mere figment of your imagination as you revelled in the closeness of your bodies, his hot skin on yours, breathing eachother in, your mind reeling with the thoughts of this being the last time--something you'd both said many times before.

But for some reason, this time felt different. This time felt real.

"Fuck me, Matty..." you whispered, nails digging into his back as if trying to anchor yourself to this moment, to him. "Fuck me like you're going to lose me."

"Fuck...am I, Raven?" Mattheo groaned in response, meeting your eyes with an intensity that took your breath away, slowly beginning to increase his pace to your desires. "Am I going to fucking lose you?"

Mattheo's thrusts became harder and more aggressive as his movements grew more frenzied, his mind getting lost in the haze of lust swirling between you. The sounds of his skin slapping against yours filled the room, matching the sound of his heavy breathing, a whirlwind of emotions coursing through the air.

"N-no, Matty..." you choked, feeling the pleasure building within you like a storm waiting to break. It was almost too much, and you found tears on the verge of exploding from your fucking eyes. "You couldn't...even if you tried..."

"Fuck...I know..." he hissed, the words forced through gritted teeth as he met your eyes, your nails certainly splitting the skin on his back, shredding it raw. "I always know exactly how you feel when I'm deep inside you like this...those eyes don't fucking lie..."

You gasped, the words unable to form as Mattheo pulled out almost completely before slamming back in, hitting that deep place inside your body that made you cry out in toe-curling pleasure. His face was twisted into an intense frown, growling in concentration as he fucked you harder, faster, hitting places you didn't know possible.

"You love this cock, don't you?" Mattheo growled, knowing full well the answer. "You're so fucking wet for me."

"Oh...yes, I do-" you squealed, burying your reddened face back into the crook of his shoulder, pleasure ricocheting through every ounce of your body as his fingers slid down your stomach, quickly teasing over your clit. "Fuck-Matty...oh..."

"You want to cum for me, pretty girl?" he growled, nibbling at your earlobe as he shifted his position, drilling deeper into you. "Let me feel you..."

"I-I want..." the words wouldn't form. Nothing would articulate inside your brain. Yes, you wanted release, but that's not what you were trying to say here. You wanted him, you wanted this, you wanted all of it, never to end. But as he swirled your clit with rough, aggressive strokes, your brain was mush, succumbing to nothing but his touch. "I-I want you...in...I-"

"I'm in you, Raven..." a grunt when he slammed into you--his voice tight, strained, almost pained, lips pressed against your temple. "I'm so fucking deep in you..."

Another shift, and he was striking your cervix with every thrust--and the pain was enough to pop the balloon in your chest. Tears streamed down your cheeks, the pending heartache and insecurity finally breaking through the dam of emotions you had kept bottled up for months. The weight of it all was too much, overwhelming you in a tidal wave of despair. Mattheo's movements remained unyielding, his pace unfaltering, but he was swift to kiss away your tears, his own breath hitched in anticipation of the climax that was about to consume both of you.

"Oh-fuck...Matty..." only a few more thrusts, and you were there, teetering right on the edge of coming undone. “Oh…”

He growled. “Cum for me angel…fuck-“

"Yes-yes, fuck..." you keened, dragged through your climax without question, euphoria tearing through you as your walls pulsed and milked his cock.

He groaned, gripping you tighter as he poured himself into you, hips bucking until the only sensation left was sweaty, heaving, post-orgasmic rapture. And despite that, you held each other, unwilling to move, unwilling to let the other person leave the safety of the embrace.

It was a long moment--long after your breathing had returned to normal, long after you'd both dripped sweat onto each other's skin--before he moved, rolling off of you, gaze roaming your figure. You wiped your damp cheeks with the back of your hand, not daring to make eye contact with him as the two of you slowly began to redress, an awkward silence filling the air.

After both of you had regained modesty, Mattheo’s eyes locked onto yours, his unspoken emotions echoing in the intensity of his gaze. Without uttering a single word, he pulled you into him, his arms enveloping your body, holding you with a grip that felt as if he never wanted to let go, suffocating your lungs in the best way possible. As his hand moved to cup the back of your head, his fingers intertwining into your hair, you felt his throat bobbing against your temple as he swallowed, his vulnerability laid bare in the gentle caress of his touch.

“That girl,” his voice was a low murmur, as though he feared shattering the fragile moment, “she asked me to the masquerade this weekend…I said no.”

You chewed your cheek, your fingers clinging onto his shirt with force, your voice trembling as you responded, “You should go...it might be good to redirect the attention off of us…your friends seem suspicious.”

“Oh, they are…” he chuckled, his hand absentmindedly petting your hair, his touch comforting and reassuring. “But I told Nott to ask you, and only Nott, so if any of the others approach you about it, let me know.”

Your cheeks burned at the revelation, his laughter vibrating through your body, your heart skipping a beat in response. “You told Nott to ask me to the masquerade? Why?”

“He’s the only one I trust not to be a fucking pig,” he replied, his tone flat and honest. “Pretty sure Zabini or Malfoy would try to get you under them before the night even started.”

You huffed, a smirk playing on your lips as you pressed against his chest. Taking a moment to revel in his scent, his cologne, his body heat.

“Is this really it for us, Mattheo?” you murmured, your voice laced with a hint of desperation. “I mean…am I just supposed to be your friend, now? Your mentor? Your tutor?”

“Maybe we just take a break, hm?” he suggested, his voice dropping, his gaze softening as he met your eyes. “Maybe just until the suspicion dies off…until we both have had some time to cool down.”

“I…okay,” you said, your eyelids fluttering as he released you, the weight of the situation sinking in. “I can work with that.”

The acceptance in your voice was laden with bittersweet resignation, a temporary reprieve in the face of an uncertain future.

————————

Chapter 24->

[zapreportsblog]

❝HUSBAND❞

✭ PAIRING : Edward Cullen x Reader

✭ FANDOM : Twilight

✭ SUMMARY : When Edward proposed to Bella he expected her to accept after all they were mates? Right? Wrong! Bella rejected edwards proposal breaking his undead heart in the process, not being able to withstand the aftermath Edward leaves home; only to return 2 years later but this time he’s married?!

✭ AUTHORS NOTE : I already know there is a story on here called the same story with the same cover (on quotev at least) mines had been edited to a clearer form, (again on quotev) that was my old account, (marveluserlovesmarbel again on quotev was my old and very first account) one of my first actually. If I can remember the login information from it I’d log back in and post my stories from their over here but for now enjoy the remake of said story :)

✭ QUOTEV VERSION

✭ HUSBAND MASTERLIST

✭ CHAPTER THREE : The Storm

Tension filled the air as Bella confronted the newfound presence of (Y/n) in Edward's life. She blinked in disbelief, her voice quivering as she stammered, "My love? Since when did this happen?"

Edward, sensing the impending storm, attempted to walk away with (Y/n) and even gestured for her to go inside. But (Y/n) was resolute and didn't budge. She glared at Bella, her voice dripping with ice, as she asked, "Who are you?"

Bella retorted, her tone growing defensive, "I'm Edward's girlfriend, and who are you?"

(Y/n) didn't waste a moment, showing off her ring with a fiery glare. "I'm his wife."

Bella's eyes widened in shock at the revelation. The words hung heavily in the air, and she was momentarily at a loss for words. She looked to Edward for help, but he maintained a blank expression.

Sensing Bella's vulnerability, (Y/n) couldn't contain her anger any longer. She stepped forward, poking Bella's chest with each word, her voice seething with righteous fury. "You've got some nerve showing your face around here. You made your grave; now lay in it."

Without waiting for a response, (Y/n) turned away from Bella and walked over to her husband, Edward. She looked deep into his eyes, her love and passion evident, and then, she pulled him into a long, passionate kiss. It was a declaration of their bond and a clear message to Bella that she was no longer a part of Edward's life. Bella watched them with a mixture of jealousy and regret, realizing that she had lost Edward. But she wasn’t one to give up easily. With a huff she yanks over her car door looking back at the couple, “I’ll be back later Edward,” and with a slam of the door she pulls out of the Cullen’s drive way.

Emmett the ever so innocent “viewer” in all this snorts, “Women am I right?!”

┉

Inside the house, (Y/n) had stormed in, seething with anger and frustration. She couldn't believe that Bella had shown up and disrupted the peace she and Edward had found together. She muttered to herself, unaware of the growing intensity of her emotions.

"How could that wench come here and think all would be fine and dandy?" (Y/n) ranted, her voice filled with exasperation.

Unbeknownst to her, the lights in the house began to flicker erratically. The others in the room exchanged puzzled glances, noticing the unusual phenomenon. Emmett, always one to comment on such things, blurted out, "Yo, what's up with the lights?"

Edward, realizing that it was (Y/n)'s powers reacting to her emotional turmoil, excused himself and made his way to where she was venting her frustrations. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and whispered soothing words, "Love, it's going to be okay. Please, try to calm down. Your powers are reacting to your emotions."

(Y/n) took a deep breath, her anger gradually subsiding as she focused on Edward's calming presence. The lights in the house gradually steadied, no longer flickering. She turned to him, her eyes filled with remorse for causing such a disturbance.

Edward reassured her, "It's alright, my love. We'll figure this out together. Bella is no longer a part of my life, and you are the one I choose to be with. I love you."

(Y/n) nodded, her anger giving way to a sense of relief and the warmth of Edward's love. They held each other close, finding solace in their bond, and slowly the tension in the house began to dissipate.

As Edward held (Y/n) close against his chest, her anger continued to simmer. She mumbled softly, her voice filled with frustration, "I just don't like it. How can she come back here thinking she would be welcomed with open arms? After hurting you? After unknowingly hurting your family?"

Edward kissed her forehead gently, trying to offer reassurance. "It's okay, my love. We'll work through this."

But (Y/n) couldn't contain her anger any longer. Her emotions surged, and as she shouted in frustration, a light bulb above them suddenly burst, scattering glass fragments on the floor.

Startled by the sudden noise, Alice, who had been observing the situation from the doorway, took a step back. She glanced at the shattered light bulb and then at the two of them, her eyes wide with surprise. With an uncertain smile, she said, "I'll just come back later," and quickly walked away, leaving Edward and (Y/n) alone to deal with the aftermath of this emotional exchange.

As (Y/n) pulled back from their embrace, her guilt about scaring Alice was evident in her eyes. She whispered, "Oh no, I scared Alice. I have to go apologize."

Edward gently placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her. "No, what you need to do is calm down, love. Alice will be fine. She's a vampire, remember?"

(Y/n) wasn't easily consoled. She replied, "That doesn't mean I didn't frighten her, supernatural being or not."

Edward couldn't help but chuckle, his laughter resonating in the room. "That's what I love about you, my dear."

(Y/n) playfully smacked his shoulder, her worry still evident. "This isn't a laughing matter, Edward. I used my powers unconsciously, and look, I even broke that poor, innocent light bulb."

Edward continued to chuckle, the sound of his laughter filling the room. "You're right, love, but it's just a light bulb. We can replace it. Besides, I’m sure Alice will understand.”

(Y/n) sighed, unable to resist a smile at her husband's laughter and reassurance. She realized that even in moments of turmoil, his presence had a way of calming her, and she felt grateful for the love they shared.

[cherriegyuu]

strange love | csc/kmg

pairing: seungcheol x fem!reader x mingyu genre: angst, fluff word count: 3.1k summary: years after your divorce, you meet your ex and he wants to pick up where you left off warnings: cheating, cursing

requested by @thepoopdokyeomtouched

“You regret it?”

Out of all the things you could have heard, of all the people you thought that you could see, the man standing in front of you was the last of them.

It had been years since you last Seungcheol, talked with him, or even heard his voice. You had managed to eliminate him from your mind completely as if he were some kind of plague. You really thought that you’d never see him again, especially after everything that happened. But most of all, not after you moved away to a city that hated more than life and promised to never, ever, set foot again. 

“You don’t know how much” he took a step towards you, hands stretched trying to hold yours “I don’t know why I did that… My mom, she …”

Looking anywhere was better than looking at Seungcheol, at him trying to shift the blame to someone else. The truth was that your marriage had never been easy — your entire relationship for that matter. 

Seungcheol’s mother never liked you. Hate was, probably, the most accurate word for how she felt about you. You were together for eight years, almost nine, and during those years she made sure that you were aware of her distaste for you. She would mention how improper you were on every possible occasion. From the way you dressed to the way you talked, to your major, to your job. Nothing you ever did was good enough for her.

In the early years of your relationship, she kept most of her comments to herself. And when she did say anything, Seungcheol was quick to apologize on her behalf and shut her down. Then, when she realized that your relationship didn’t end once you graduated from college, her words became harsher. 

Even then, you pushed through. Seungcheol seemed to be just as bothered as you and you were with him, not her. 

Despite her attempts against your relationship, there was no denial of the fact that you were in love and until that moment you never thought that anyone would ever understand you quite like Seungcheol did. It was like you complimented each other. Of course, like any other couple, you fought. But most of those fights were never about his mom and you’d make up quickly

Life was easy and good. You had the job you wanted, shared your life with the man you loved. 

So, when Seungcheol proposed, you said yes. It was the easiest answer you had ever given. His mother was no longer a concern to you and innocently you thought that she would finally see that you were serious about Seuncheol. You hoped that she would see your love for her son. Because to you, that was what every mother wanted, for their kid to be in a good relationship, with someone they loved and who loved them. That was what your mother wanted for you. 

And, sure, maybe that was something Seungcheol’s mother wanted too, she just didn’t want you in his life. 

Even so, you got married. Moved in together. The first year had been great, the kind of stuff dreams are made of. Paradise. Then your first anniversary rolled around and that perfect little bubble burst. Just like that. What was once perfect became none existent. 

Seungcheol started to get home later and later, his replies to your texts were monosyllabic at best — most days he didn’t even reply. You gave up on phone calls because he’d either ignore them or he’d turn off his phone. It didn’t take long for you to notice that he started to reject your kisses, your touch. 

Fights became intense, almost a screaming contest. You’d scream because he was never around anymore and he would scream because you were too demanding. 

“I'm just fucking busy, okay? Work is driving me insane. And now I have you hoovering around me like I’m sort of child. I thought my mom was the only crazy bitch around. I guess I was wrong.”

Nothing anyone had ever said to you hurt so much. His mother’s words? Nothing, not even a scratch compared to his. But having the man you loved, the one you promised to love through sickness and health, till death did you part, say those things? Call you a crazy bitch and because of what? Because you were worried about him? Someone should punish you for wanting to spend time with your husband. 

“Fuck you, Choi Seungcheol,” was all you had managed to get out. 

There was nothing else you could say. You heart dropped to your feet, the space where your stomach was supposed to be felt hollow. The entire world was spinning. So you did the only thing you could think of, locking yourself in the bathroom and crying under the shower. After some time, you didn’t know what was just water and what were your tears.

By the time you got out, Seungcheol was nowhere to be seen. 

That was the moment you knew your marriage was over, there was nothing to save anymore. 

Seungcheol didn’t come home for days after that. You didn’t know where he was, if he was okay. So you did the one thing you feared the most, you called your mother-in-law. Much to your surprise, she invited you for lunch. Truthfully, you didn't want to go but it was the only way to know anything about your husband. She had refused to give you any information at all unless you met her. 

Everything inside of you, every cell in your body told you not to go. There’s no way the lunch wouldn’t end in your heart breaking even more. The million pieces of your heart would shatter yet again. 

Maybe you had known the entire time and just forced yourself to pretend that it didn't exist. Seeing Seungcheol walk into the restaurant, hand in hand with a woman who wasn't you, the brightest smile on his lips, made the entire world suddenly fall into silence.

You felt stuck in place, your eyes refused to look at anything else that wasn't him. Not in the way it did when you first started to date, when you were so enamored by him that other men just paled in comparison, but out of poor morbid curiosity. You needed to see just how far he'd take it.

The buzzing in your ears started when he sat by her side, his whole attention focused on her. She talked excitedly about something and Seungcheol looked at her like he was in love. Like he used to look at you. He pushed her hair back from her shoulder and you noticed that his wedding ring was nowhere to be seen.

The woman seemed to be the perfect representation of what his mother wanted. And her smile, watching you crumble, was all the confirmation you needed.

"Thank you for bringing me here today," you told her. Her smile faltered a little when you got up and left. She probably expected a scene, maybe she hoped to see you screaming at them. That would imply a fight and you just didn't have it in you anymore. 

You were the only one fighting for that marriage for almost a year. Seungcheol didn't care, of course, especially considering how he had taken that woman to your favorite restaurant on your second anniversary. 

By 9 pm, on that day, you were out of the apartment. You took almost nothing with you, just enough clothes, documents you would need, and memories of your childhood. You didn't want to keep anything that could be a reminder of Seungcheol. If it was so easy for him to throw away a nine-year relationship down the drain, then it would be for you too.

I'll send you the divorce papers soon, was what you wrote for him on a note. The only thing you had left for him, alongside your wedding ring.

"Don't blame your mother for your actions, Seungcheol. No one made you go to that restaurant, no one made you cheat on me. That was all you. Your mother, believe it or not, was kind enough to show me the truth"

Seungcheol thought that he'd never see you again. You had managed to completely leave his life, not a trace of you to be found. 

The house was still filled with you, your clothes, the decorations you bought over the years — things you had shown him excitedly and he had never paid much attention to — the dishes from breakfast, your wedding pictures still on display — the only one missing was of you, as a kid with your parents. He realized then that you only took things that were yours before him, things that had nothing to do with him.

No one wanted to tell him where you were, your note didn't say anything about where you went. The hospital you worked at simply told him that you resigned and refused to tell him anything else.

The divorce papers were handed to him, by your lawyer, precisely three weeks after your anniversary, after you left. Your friend stood in front of him, Joshua's face the most professional and serious he'd ever seen. The man who usually had kind eyes and a bright smile, looked at him as if he was just any other stranger.

"Joshua, I'm not singing these" he dropped the small stack of papers onto his desk "I want to speak with my wife and I'm sure you talk to her daily. So if you could just tell me where she is, I'd be really thankful. We also need to discuss how we will divide our possessions"

Joshua took a deep breath, finally looking at him for more than three seconds.

"Mr. Choi, my client doesn't want to see you or talk with you. There's nothing to divide as she doesn't want anything, as it is written in the divorce agreement. If you wish to take this to court you will just be spending money needlessly and wasting our time, as, like I said before, my client doesn't want anything. She just wants to be free of your relationship"

It was the first time in five years Seungcheol was seeing you. He tried to look for you everywhere he could possibly think about. He went to all the other hospitals in town, every single one of them, looking for you. He always gave different names to make sure that you wouldn’t refuse to see him. All of them were a dead end. 

No matter how much he tried, he couldn’t forget your last words to him fuck you, Choi Seungcheol, the look in your eyes of complete hurt. How he knew his words would make you cry and that’s why he said them. But you refused to let your tears fall in front of him. He had heard you in the shower. The sound had been too much, too annoying, so he left. 

At that point, he had already cheated on you more than once. He had let his mother get too much into his head. The stress of work mixed with his mother's constant nagging made him do things that he wouldn’t normally do. It was only much later that he realized that his stress didn’t come from you. If anything, you were the one who always helped feel normal, more like himself. 

After years of no contact, even social media updates from your friends or family didn’t include you, he finally saw you again. In a different town, a phone was pressed to your ear as you talked with someone. And you were even more beautiful than remembered. Your hair was shorter than before, something you always said you wanted to do but never went through with because Seungcheol liked your hair long. You were wearing jeans and a t-shirt, also something you never wore after college because of this mother, women don’t dress like teenagers, she used to say. Your smile was also beautiful, and free. Seungcheol couldn’t remember the last time you smiled at him.

“I know, it was all me. But I was wrong, yn, so terribly wrong” he tried to hold your hands again but you took another step back, away from him “I want to try again. I love you so much, so much. I can make you happy again, I know I can”

You laughed. Because what else were you supposed to do? Five years later nothing at all had changed with Seungcheol. He still thought that he could just come around and you’d be waiting for him.

Waiting for him to choose you. 

He never did though. You came to realize that, after you moved away, and really started to think about your relationship, from the day you started to date to the day your marriage ended you were never his priority. For many years you thought that Seungcheol had your back, that it was you and him against the world. But, in all honesty, it was just you against his world and the rules he lived by. He never told his mother to just stop the harassment, he would just appease her for a while and stay quiet when she tried to change you. He never said anything when you changed your entire being to try to fit into what she wanted. 

You were to blame too but in your mind those changes were just something you had to do to with the the man you loved. 

“Hi, baby” you felt lips press against your hair and the bags you were carrying being taken away from your hands “Did you wait for a long time?”

Finally, you pulled your eyes away from Seungcheol and looked up, to Mingyu. Up until that moment, your heart was beating like crazy inside your chest but at the sight of Mingyu, everything seemed to calm down.

A year after moving, you met Mingyu. He was the owner of a small restaurant close to the hospital you worked at. Joshua was the one to find the place when he went to visit you  You were one of his first clients and then probably the most assiduous one. You went there almost every friday for lunch, ordering something different every time because if the steak was that good, everything else has to be good too. 

After a few months, he was the one who brought out the food for you. You were yet to order but he placed a plate in front of you, the most delicious smell intoxicating all of your senses. 

“I haven’t ordered anything yet,” you said, confused, looking up at him. 

Mingyu was probably the most handsome man you had ever encountered in your life and that was saying a lot. His eyes were spectant as he talked with you, he hid his hand inside the pocket of his apron.

“I know but you come here every week and you seem to enjoy the food. Since I’m trying a new dish, I thought that you would like to try it”

Your lips formed a smile, the biggest one you had given someone in a very long time. 

“Thank you.  I’m sure it’s fantastic, especially if it tastes as amazing as it smells”

A few weeks after that, after a lot of flirting, Mingyu asked you on a date. A dinner after hours at the restaurant. You’re a busy woman, so I’ll take whichever moments you're willing to give me. 

Saying yes had been hard. Though you were no longer in love with Seungcheol, a part of you was still hurt by the end of your marriage. You were thirty, divorced, only one relationship in your entire life. You felt like you didn’t have anything to give. And then Mingyu happened. 

He made you forget everything about your past, about your lack of experience.  When you told him that you were divorced, you sort of expected a change in the way he saw you. But that didn’t happen. He simply asked how it ended, and you gave him a very brief explanation — he cheated — and the conversation moved forward as if he had asked you what you did the day before. 

The first date led to a second one, then a third, and soon you were dating. There was no official question or big gesture. Both of you just fell into this sort of routine. Some of your clothes were on his place, some of his on yours. A year and a half into the relationship you moved in together. You figured, since the two of you always spent the night together, either at his place or yours, living together would just be easier.

You were happy.

After you told him everything that had happened in your relationship with Seungcheol, from his mother to the cheating, Mingyu held your face in his hands. All of his emotions were in his eyes, the anger he felt for what had happened to you, for the hurt he heard in your voice whenever you spoke of your marriage, to the love he felt for you.

“I can’t promise that I won’t do anything that will hurt. If I could, I would do it right now. I know I will make mistakes and some of those will hurt you. But I will do everything in my power to not hurt you, to love you like you deserve to be loved”

His thumb wiped your tears away, and a second later you felt his lips over each of your eyes. His touch was ever so tender. Despite his hands being only on your face, you felt Mingyu everywhere.

“Where did you come from?” you had asked in a whisper.

“I was right here, just waiting for you”

Life with Mingyu, you came to understand, was very simple. Late-night talks, walks on the beach on sunny afternoons, meals you ate together, and undying laughter. Just a life completely filled with love. 

“Who’s this?” Mingyu asked. 

He didn’t like the way your back was stiff, how tense you looked. He had never seen a picture of your ex-husband, you didn’t have one and although he was curious about the man who was stupid enough to let you go, he didn’t care enough to look for his face online. Based on your reaction alone, Mingyu already knew who he was before you even said his name. 

“Seungcheol”

Mingyu looked at the man who broke your heart. There wasn’t anything special to see. The only thing Mingyu did to acknowledge him was a short nod and a distaste hum.

“Come one, let’s go home” he tugged on your hand, walking past Seungcheol.

Mingyu wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling your body against his and kissing your hair once again. You wrapped your arm around his waist and squeezed him, a silent thank you, but also a silent i love you. He kissed your hair a third time.

Not once did you look back, to see if Seungcheol was still standing there. 

Seungcheol was your past. But Mingyu was your present and your future.

taglist: @wonwooz1, @sobun1est, @mirtaspace, @ho34gojo, @feat-sun, @wonvsmile, @belladaises, @mhlsymlysn, @swinterr

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[r3starttt]

GOOD LUCK, BABE!

CW: tlou universe. Comphet Abby, slightly suggestive. Angst. Sad ending!!!

Approximately three hours passed by since she left that good night kiss on the man sleeping next to her. Abby had been tossing around in bed endlessly, first being unable to sleep and then fighting with herself to stay asleep, trying to find calm and comfort within the torture her mind was going through. The endless corridor, the blood on the wall, her hands desperately gripping the dead body, her dad’s empty body. It had been a while since she’s got that nightmare, but so far, she had learned to manage it. Maybe because you weren’t there.

She jolted awake, her heart racing and her breaths coming in shallow gasps. It was in that moment of vulnerability that the floodgates of her suppressed emotions burst open. In fact, there had been plenty reasons for her emotions to burst. You being the main reason.

Settling herself in bed, trying to catch her breath as her elbows rested on the mattress, holding her whole weight. Her gaze shifted next to her, the man sleeping on her side still unaware of the situation. unusual considering he’d wake her up most times. At least he cared about her, it was real love coming from his side.

She had gotten used to this in a desperate attempt to find an explanation for everything. Forcing herself into believing it was her father the reason behind it all. Yet, despide the effort, she found herself haunted by memories that refused to leave her mind and heart alone at any time.

But oh she’s stubborn, so, for years she made it work. Abby had spent so long trying to fit into the mold her own mind had built for her, trying to convince herself she was fine, she had been burying her feelings, making anybody else responsible for them, anyone but herself.

Her fingers ran over the man’s hand, resting over her lap. Gently, she tossed it away, placing it over his own body.

The cold air hit her body once she moved the blanket down her knees, standing up. her arms moved as a reflex, hugging her own body. She needed the comfort.

With slow steps she got out the bed, then out of the room, her heart kept beating in such way it had became unbearable. All because of you.

Because she had gotten over the idea of her dad being ripped from her, she knew she wasn’t guilty, she had no control over it, there was nothing she could’ve done to prevent it or make it hurt less. But you, she could’ve done something for you, she had, indeed control about the whole situation and she could’ve done so much to prevent it, but she didn’t.

And not only was she the reason of it all but she could never apologize. And the last memory she had about you was painful, because of how she made you feel, because of what she said and what she did to you, because of what you replied to her. Because you were right, and she was not. And that broke her soul.

You knew her so well you knew how she’d end. With a man she doesn’t love, regretting everything she had ever done and feeling alone even when she’s not. Because that’s her. And you made sure to let her know that the last time you two ever spoke.

And so far, she was able to keep the memory blurry and locked somewhere in her. Until tonight.

You felt so warm, embracing her empty body, telling her everything would be just fine, saying sorry repeatedly for her lost. Maybe it broke her that it wasn’t just a nightmare, but a memory.

Because Owen didn’t even bother to ask her if she was right when he first saw her after her father’s dead. Not because he didn’t care but because he had no clue of what had happened. But you? you where there, you saw it too and never left her side after that, not until she pushed you away.

You met her when fireflies were still a thing, and never left her side since the moment you crossed paths. You swore you were soulmates, and she never said otherwise. She never did, not even now.

You were her childhood best friend, and she was yours, and god you two made sure everyone knew.

Her friends were your friends, her family was your family, you shared everything, knew everything about the other. And even after years both can agree there could never be a replacement for that, maybe because you met being so young but, the bond between both is a once in a lifetime kind.

After her dad died you were all left for her, well, the closest to family she had, she was never alone. And that was the problem, she had everything and everyone a human could wish for in such times like those, but it wasn’t enough for her.

It wasn’t enough because her mind always messed things for her, because her dad and what had happened to him kept making harm, not only in her but in others.

She got blinded by the pain on her heart, and even like that you never left her side, never.

You took care of her, waking her up if she had a nightmare, holding her until she fell asleep. Abby always felt so ashamed of it.

That until she felt the need of staying by your side, not only because you were all she had but because she felt something for you that just brought her comfort and love after so much pain. Because you were the only person that could make that pain go away and she eventually accepted the reason of it, or so she said.

Abby was the first to speak about it, the one to make all the first moves, impressively after all these years considering she was always quite conservative when she had to show she cared about you.

She kissed you for the first time ever, and you cupped her face with your hands to make it last longer, she looked so pretty, with her sheepish smile and a very small red tainting her cheeks, her eyes and nose very slightly scrunched. She made you cuddle with her for the first time and you covered both of you with the blanket, you moved your legs to place then between hers and you pressed yourself on her body, almost to remember her forever. You regret it now, because it worked.

You, on the other hand, tried to make the first move when people were around, at first believing she might be shy to tell people about you because she hated those clingy couples. Then, realizing she wasn’t ready to let people know. Now you know you should've left.

You always gave her time, giving her kisses whenever people wasn’t looking, taking advantage of your friendship with her being well known by everyone to hug her and stay close to her.

She would get mad- well, not really but asking you playfully to stop because she wasn’t ready. And you always understood.

Until drunk - which later she used as an excuse - she said she could never date you, not only because you were a woman and she wasn’t “into that” but also because your personalities only fit with each other because you two met so young. Your friends laughed at it, and you wanted to kill her right there.

As if the universe wasn't on your side, abby got closer to getting hat revenge she desired so much, and you knew it wouldn’t help to make of that a bigger situation in such important moment, so you let it go. You couldn't really blame her for anything after all.

She didn't mean to feel like this about you, or anyone else, and nor you or abby could call that a behavior you could blame someone for. You were her one excepcion in life, you thought instead of complaining about it you should've enjoyed it all.

Abby apologized later that week, you didn't know it was because she went to see Owen. You wish you never knew, you wish you never asked. Back then you thought the old abby was coming back. You were more than wrong, because she never left, she just changed, like everyone else did.

It wasn't later after that when you had to broken up with her. It happened before both of your lives changed forever.

You never wanted to, but it's impossible to not regret it all knowing your life- her life could've turned different.

"You're overreacting" her arms were crossed. She straightened herself, mocking you. You couldn't scream because there were people near you, Abby's friends, all sleeping.

She had brought everyone to a random place to get her revenge, and as much as you loved her, the whole scenario was ridiculous. You didn't understand why she needed everyone on her side, until you saw it.

And maybe you were overreacting, but it wasn't the first time Abby rathered to speak with Owen instead of you. And it made your blood boil because why would she even think about him as someone she can speak to when he wasn't on her side as much as you? When he's dating someone else and she's dating you?.

"You haven't spoke to me since we came here. I just wanna know, why him?" Abby chuckled, rolling her eyes. Just that and you felt like bursting into tears. Fucking ridiculous.

"Abby, answer-" she cut you off, running a hand over her hair, down her braid. The way she took a deep breath, how she didn't take you serious, It had become a normal thing for you and only that made you realize how stupid it was. How stupid you were for letting her treat you like that.

"You can't respect that I want to keep us private. You think I'm fucking cheating on you. I don't understand what the fuck you want from me" you impulsively stepped back. Thinking about an answer that didn't make you sound like the mean one, even though you knew she was the one making all the mistakes.

"You don't want us private Abigail, and you fucking know it" you still remember the knot on your throat when you spoke, there has never been such painful feeling. "We've been dating for more than a fucking year and you haven't said you love me, not even once. I'm the one overreacting, the one being clingy, the one being desperate for love. But you know why? Because my girlfriend is terrified of loving me"

She didn't say anything. But god how she remembers it all.

"You know how insane you're making me? I saw you kissing Owen many times while dating, and you want to keep me 'private' even after a whole fucking year?" Her lips shut together, forming a pout. You knew she wanted to cry, which only made you feel worst because you were the one supposed to cry. Not her.

"You can kiss every single man on earth, but know, it will always stay the same. Good luck with all your shit, Abigail"

The scenery your eyes saw some hours later were just the confirmation you needed to leave. She was angry, and in pain. Probably you were guilty of the morbid way that men got killed. Or, maybe not, but you couldn't change the sensation of guilt building in your stomach every time abby hit his skin.

Back at the base it all got awkward between everyone. The relationship between Owen and Mel got awkward, and that was related to you and Abby.

It was a sort of love affair situation that no one ever spoke about but everyone knew it had happened. Everyone felt pity for you and Mel, which made the hate towards her grow stupidly heavily.

You despised her and that man.

So, for you and your needs, you decided to take something from her one last time.

Having her underneath you, pleading for your touch, crying your name, confessing how she regretted it all and how Owen was driving her insane. One last time, you can't make you forget it.

Neither does Abby, regretting letting you go, more than anything she’s ever regretted.

Not only has she wasted her time with Owen but she had made him waste his time with her. She could’ve had you, she could’ve been awake on your side tonight. Knowing she took all those chances away from herself, it drives her insane every day.

But oh you told her so, and you gave her thousands of chances to not fuck it all.

Those words you said to her, they’ve been stuck forever on her brain.

[film-bro-hotch]

I Can See You - Hotch x Fem!Reader (one-shot)

I have had the idea for this one-shot ever since this song came out, and I wrote it in the middle of the night in an attempt to stay up and fight jetlag. This is going to be posted quite literally as I am in the airport about to move to a foreign country, so please enjoy.

Summary: You and Hotch start something outside of work that slowly starts to make its way into your on-the-clock time in more risky ways. Based on I Can See You by Taylor Swift.

Warnings: smut 18+, oral (m receiving), semi-public sex, workplace relationships (?) but like in the most disruptive way possible

WC: 2k

'Cause I can see you waitin' down the hall from me And I could see you up against the wall with me And what would you do, baby, if you only knew? That I can see you

The past three months had been filled with what everyone assumed to be the mundane, typical occurrences of amicable coworkers. Passing of paper, catching glances of him from across the room during a briefing, occasionally brushing polyester suit jackets against each other in the elevator. They were insignificant. Or at least that is what everyone thought.

It’s what you wanted them to see. And to be completely honest, it’s what you thought at first too. Why would you possibly think your older, recently divorced boss would be interested in you?

Yet here you were on the BAU jet after a case. He was sitting next to you, both working on some paperwork to officially close the case you had just been working on. You couldn't remember a specific detail from the case. 

“Hey, Hotch, how many rounds of ammo did this guy have in his basement again?” “Enough I think he was doomsday prepping. Local PD was still getting an accurate number when we were leaving. I’ll call them when we land.” His tone was nonchalant enough, you really didn’t think much of it. 

An hour later you were at your desk, getting ready to pack up when he came by, close enough that he was brushing your shoulder. He had picked up a pen from your desk and wrote the number down on your documents.

Odd moments like this kept happening. Sometimes he would lean a little closer than usual to show you one of the various drawings Jack made that he had stuck on the fridge. When you asked him for help on some grueling paperwork, your shoulders often touched. You would go to turn in administrative work and instead of putting it in the designated basket on his desk, you handed it directly to him, his fingers brushing yours. If you looked close enough, you could have sworn you saw his ears go a little red.

No one had said anything yet, which filled you partly with relief. Emily and JJ not saying anything was normal. They may be profilers, but they were both pretty good at keeping their noses out of their coworkers’ business. Who wasn’t so good at that was Penelope. If anyone was going to catch on to it, it would be her. And she would say something to you.

The fact that she hadn’t made you feel a little crazy. Were you really just reading too much into things? Were you projecting? 

That was until one day after everyone was gone, he asked you to dinner.

You said yes, of course, though partly in the back of your head you wondered if it was more of a friendly coworker ‘well, we are both off and have nothing else to do’ dinner date than a date date. Any concerns of that were crushed when at the door of your apartment he kissed you. You had imagined his lips a few times already, thin and usually in some kind of disapproving frown. They were soft against yours, and you could feel the gentle scratch of his stubble on your chin. 

When he pulled away, you expected maybe a form of regret, a look that read ‘what have I done?’ Instead, he just looked hungry for more.

“I know I shouldn’t have,” he says.

“But you did.” And so you gave him more. You both tumbled into your apartment. Your hands were in his hair, his hand was grabbing your ass as he continued to kiss you. You remember making it to the bed, and you remember that he spent the night at your place that night.

After that, work with Aaron looked much like it had the past few months. Business as usual with only stolen moments of tenderness, when your hands touched, his calloused fingers brushed yours for just a moment as he handed you a report and asked you to turn it in at 5:00 before you went home. You didn’t let the team catch the way your eyes linger on him for just a moment longer than what was socially appropriate for co-workers, how your gaze went from his eyes to his lips, usually pressed in a thin line. No one saw how in that cramped elevator, the last part of your morning commute, he would sometimes get closer, let one finger from the hand holding his briefcase curl with your pinkie. 

That had been the two of you for the last three months. Professional. You just weren’t sure how much longer you could take professional.

It started out simple enough. You were in his office for a legitimate reason. JJ had been out sick and as the only other person with a communication background, her work fell on you, though you didn’t mind. You were there to hand him a stack of briefings for potential cases, and as he started to flip through them, you casually slipped a hand on top of his thigh, your fingers curling towards his inner thigh, your thumb rubbing circles against the fabric of his pants. You could feel his pulse rise, his sharp intake of breath, see his eyes dart straight toward his door, the blinds that were open. There was a certain thrill in the danger of being caught. “What?” you asked coyly. “Scared of being found out?” “I’m not-it’s not that.” He was flustered. “We are at work. And your hands are cold.”

“Oh, I am very aware,” you said, abruptly pulling your hand from his and standing straight. “JJ should be back tomorrow, but if you have any other questions on these, just let me know,” you said, continuing on like you hadn’t just turned his face red with a touch or given him an awful boner in the middle of work.

Later that week, you had left your desk to give yourself one more cup of coffee considering you knew you would be working later than usual to finish up some details on a file. You usually go down the hall and sneak into another department’s kitchen to use a couple flavoring syrups. Passing a nook, you felt a hand grab you and pull you back, another hand settling on your lower back as Hotch pulled you into a kiss. Your surprised grunt was muffled by his lips, his teeth nearly busting your lips when they crashed into you. 

“What the hell are you doing?” you breathed. “We are at work.”

“This is the only place on this floor besides a janitor's closet that isn’t on camera. And I didn’t exactly think cleaning chemicals gave the most romantic mood.” He said it completely seriously, like he had actually given this thought. 

“Wait, how did you know I was even going to be here?”

“You always get a second cup when you are planning to stay past 5:00. And you never get coffee from the BAU’s kitchen. You go down the hall to data science because they have better variety. I just happened to take a break right before you went for a refill, and I happened to be in the one corner that cameras don’t reach.” His tone was matter-of-fact, like he was reading from a textbook rather than the romantic declaration that he actually paid attention to your habits. 

“It’s really hot when you pay attention, you know,” you said, reaching up for another kiss, but Hotch pulled back. 

“Got to get back to work,” he said, the edge of his lips curled into a know, shit-eating grin. Bastard.

The tipping point came nearly a month later. The two of you had been at this little game ever since, trying to see who could make the other the most flustered, and things were getting progressively more risky. The closest call so far had been when you two thought you were the only ones left for the day, but Morgan had come back to grab his thermos he had left on his desk.

On this day, you were working at your desk when Aaron called you into his office. It wasn’t an occurrence, but something did start to feel off when he asked you to shut the door.

“Lock it for good measure,” he added, moving quite close to you to shut the blinds.

You hardly got his name out of your mouth before he kissed you, nearly banging your body against the door, which clearly would have alerted someone. You found your hand intuitively going around his neck, one cradling his cheek as he kissed you. “What the hell are you doing?” you finally were able to ask between breathless pants.

“You’re driving me crazy.”

“I’ve hardly done anything.”

He pulls away then, pointing towards his desk. “We have five minutes before anyone gets suspicious.” You were already ahead of him, pulling him towards his desk, your hands already reaching for his belt. He was eager to help you, unclasping the buckle in one fell swoop. Even through the lining of his pants you could see his bungle. You wondered how long he had been thinking about doing this all day, thinking of you. 

He slid his pants off part of the way, your fingers going to grip him, only his boxer keeping your flesh from touching. He had to be sensitive. Even just the friction from your hand and the fabric made him hum in approval. “If we are going to do this, you are going to need to keep quiet,” you said. Your hands moved from his crotch to his neck, unlacing his tie with ease. Haphazardly bundling it up, you shoved the mess of fabric into his mouth to shut him up.

“Wait,” you heard him say, having removed the makeshift gag. He shook his arms out of his suit jacket, taking the most surely expensive coast and folding it, placing it on the ground. It took you a moment to realize what he was getting out, but you started to understand when he happily put the gag back in his mouth. Kindly, he had made his jacket into a cushion for your knees so you could be comfortable while sucking him off and making him scream. And you planned to do just that.

Your fingers gripped the elastic of his boxers, pulling them down and freeing his dick. Spitting in your hand, you began to run your hand along the length of him, slowly, oh so agonizingly slowly. From the corner of your eye, you could see the way he gripped the edge of his desk, practically begging you to go a little faster, use a little more pressure. You kept up the facade for a bit, listening to his near desperate hums before placing your lips on the tip, running your tongue along it and hearing his muffled groan in response. 

You started to move your hand a little faster, your tongue picking up the place along with it. You loved to see the way his knuckles went white, the way he was gripping the desk for dear life. 

“Please,” you heard his muffled whimper.

“I’m sorry, dear, what was that?” you asked from your position below him.

Quickly, he ripped out his gag, one hand still gripping the desk as he said, “For the love of god, please stop tormenting me.”

You were happy to oblige him, beginning to move your hand up and down as well as flicking your tongue along his tip, feeling the muscles in his thigh and his abdomen tense and clench before he finally released. At the last second, he muffled his cry with the tie, nearly sinking back into the desk as you wiped himself from your lips.

Standing and brushing your knees off, you motioned to the door. “Put your pants on so I can get the hell out of here and hope no one noticed.”

He took a moment to compose himself, tucking his shirt back in and trying his best to straighten out his tie. He opened the blinds and unlocked the door, sending you on your way with a simple, “Please make sure those are on my desk before the end of the day.” 

You were certain he was planning on returning the favor.

[wanderingsoul6261]

Gif credit goes to userbeaufort

IM SORRY-PART 2

Part 1 below

James Beaufort x Reader

I'm sorry! I meant to have this out sooner, but I got distracted. My anxiety had been an ass this week so just bear with me. I do have more fics with James to write, so do still continue to expect more!

Synopsis: part 2 to I'm Sorry. Reader talks to Lydia and apologizes to James for her actions.

Warnings: nothing other than a few swear words. Mostly the f- word

------

It had been weeks since Y/N had left James standing where she left him after they kissed underneath Maxton Hall. She had avoided him as if he had the plague and was going to get her sick. She had even gone as far as even being more distant with Lydia, and that hurt her much more than avoiding James. 

The few times she had brushed Lydia off had left her friend looking hurt and confused, wondering to herself what she could have possibly done to warrant Y/N's behavior towards her. It took Y/N all but a week before she came to her senses and apologized to Lydia, but when Lydia asked what happened and why she did it, she couldn’t explain. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to, because she did, as it was all tearing her inside out, but she just didn’t know how to go about it. She wasn't sure if Lydia would hate her afterwards for kissing her brother. Y/N knew she could always confide in Lydia, and Lydia has made that plenty clear. However, with something like this, Y/N wasn't quite so sure as to how her friend would react. 

Did Y/N love James? Absolutely. Did she regret the kiss? No, absolutely not. If anything, she had enjoyed it and had hoped it had continued even longer than it had. She had actually thought about the kiss alot. And even if no words were spoken in the moment that James and Y/N had kissed, she knew that every single bit of feeling and emotions she had for James was poured into that kiss, and a part of her told her that it was likely the same for James. There was no way he didn't feel the same way as her, and yet, here she was, treating him as if she never met or knew him. Which also hurt her more than another could imagine, and yet she still continued to do it. 

Y/N continued to avoid James in the hall. She avoided eye contact and any and all other contact he had attempted to make. He sent text messages and made phone calls, leaving voice messages when she wouldn't answer. He had made attempts to stop her in the hallway to talk to her in which she had brushed off and walked away from him. Every single time he had stood in place, while many other students watched, wondering what to do, his heart breaking more and more each time. This went on for several weeks. 

And then he stopped, and it was like a switch had been flipped. 

James had turned cold towards her, reverting back to the way he was before he had started to like her, before he had fallen in love with her and had vowed to do anything and everything for her. Before she had become what his world revolved around. 

Y/N took notice, and she had undoubtedly and rightfully so, hated herself for it. James didn't deserve the treatment he had received from her. She should have confessed to Lydia about what had happened between her and James. 

He gave her the same treatment that she had been giving him and she couldn't even be mad or upset. It was her fault. 

James scowled at her, made remarks about her lack of money and everything she wouldn't ever have because of the lack thereof, and anything else that he knew would hit their mark. The angered and hurt looks he had given her could level an entire room, an earthquake that could cause so much devastation, but yet, the destruction was only centered on one single person. 

Her. 

He had acted like an asshole towards her and Y/N would be the first to admit that she deserved every last moment of it. She had evidently broken his heart, and now he was making her pay for it. 

The only person that didn't agree with anything Y/N received from James, was Lydia. It had often led to heavy and loud arguments between the twins, causing tension between the close siblings, but yet, Lydia still didn’t know what happened to make the two behave in the ways that they were. It was a mystery, and it was one that she had so desperately wanted to solve.

—-

“What happened?” Lydia asked. “Are you ever going to tell me?” Y/N was sitting a bench, a book in her hands when Lydia walked up to her. She spared a glance at her friend, growing nervous once again at the question Lydia was once again pestering her with. 

“What do you mean?” Y/N took the stupid route, her eyes back on the book. But she wasn't reading it. She couldn’t focus on it, her eyes reading the same paragraph over and over as she never fully grasped the content of it. It didn't matter that she read the words in her mind. Lydia also knew this, mostly at the fact that not once did Y/N turn the page. 

She was stuck on that page, meaning Lydia had gotten the cogs in Y/N's brain working and thinking about what had happened between her and James. Now if only she would talk to her about it. 

“You know what I mean, Y/N. You and James. One day you guys are talking and hanging out like you’ve known each other since childbirth, and the next day, you are treating each other like you’re puppy was kicked! ” Lydia made a daring move, hoping her friend would forgive her, and snatched the book out of her hand. Y/N didn't do anything though. She sat there, defeat showing in her posture. Y/N only knew that Lydia would continue to ask her what happened, which had meant that James never told her, not that he probably wanted to, and Y/N didn’t blame him. She broke his heart and made a fool out of him. It was best she finally said something, no matter if James would be mad at her or not. Y/N was tired of leaving her friend in the dark, and she was sure that Lydia was tired of being in the dark. 

Y/N picked at her fingernails, a sigh escaping her lips as her eyes flickered over the tiniest imperfections in the ground. Little divots from where the ground had been worn away. A bug scittering across the ground. Grass peeking up through the cracks. 

Lydia sat down next to her and Y/N still refused to make eye contact. Lydia put her book back into Y/N's hands, in order to keep her hands occupied and stop her from picking at her fingers. It was a nervous habit of Y/N’s that Lydia had picked up on not too long after they had become friends. 

“James' actions are warranted.” Lydia scoffed. 

“I highly doubt-”

“We kissed the night of the donation gala and then I left him standing underneath the hall and have been avoiding him ever since.” Y/N cut her friend off, still avoiding eye contact with her. Lydia went silent. 

Was this it? Did Lydia hate her now for what she did to her brother? Is this the end of their friendship? Y/N had turned slightly away from Lydia, ashamed of herself and what she had done. She truly hated herself for this. 

“Why?” The question had quite honestly caught Y/N off guard. She didn’t expect it. If anything, she had almost expected Lydia to leave her right then and there and understand why James was treating her in the way that he had been. 

Y/N sat in silence. She loved James, so it wasn’t as if she had not liked him or regretted the kiss. If anything, she knew that if she didn’t want to kiss him, James wouldn’t have done it. They both wanted to kiss each other, that much was true.

“I was scared. Terrified. Petrified. Any other synonyms of ‘scared’.” Y/N finally turned to look at her friend. Lydia was staying. She wasn’t going anywhere and Y/N had used this to soothe her worries. “You’re my friend, Lydia. He is your brother. I thought if you found out we did anything, no matter what it was, that you’d hate us. You’d hate me. Or maybe you would see it as something that would get in the way of me and you.” Y/N went over every single reason why she was scared. Anyone else probably would have told her to stop and tell her that it was okay and that they wouldn't have thought of anything in the way that she was. Lydia did do that, don’t get that part wrong, but she listened fully to what Y/N had to say. She wanted to understand Y/N and her thoughts so that she could better understand why she did what she did. When Y/N was finished, the two sat in silence and Y/N thought that maybe Lydia would take her chance to leave now. 

But she didn’t. She stayed, and after a few minutes of silence, she spoke. 

“I wouldn’t have hated you. If anything, I was wondering when it would happen. You guys looked at each other the way a young child looks at a puppy.” Y/N smiled at the poor analogy. She looked down at the book in her hands. Her smile turned into a frown. 

She got thinking about James and about how he might have felt, and she felt completely and utterly disgusted with herself. 

“How was James?” she asked, but she already knew the answer. 

“Honestly?” Lydia asked. They both knew that once Y/N heard what she had to say, it would only make Her feel even worse than she already did. Y/N nodded. 

“He didn't sleep or eat a lot. Often found him up pretty late. James was hurt, really hurt. I tried getting him to talked to me-” Y/N started to drown out Lydia. Not because she didn't want to listen, but because she went back to thinking about James. She wanted to, no, she needed to fix this. Y/N had to make this right with James. 

Y/N stood up abruptly. She hurried off to find James. 

She looked everywhere she could think of, Starting with the places where she knew for a fact that he would possibly be. Which was probably half a dozen places and so she had spent a good half hour trying to find him. 

Y/N was growing restless. She hoped that he didn't go home yet, but if he did, Y/N knew that she could always just text or call him. However, the likelihood of him even answering was slim to none, and she didn't blame him. 

But she found him, and kicked herself in the ass for not checking the lacrosse field sooner, because there he was, in all his James Beaufort glory, practicing with Alistair, Cyril, and the others. 

It definitely wasn't long before someone noticed her, and pointed her out to James. He had turned around, his eyes peering out from behind his helmet, the headwear masking any emotions that might have been present on his face. 

He had watched as she stood on the sidelines. Waiting. Watching. She nervously picked her fingernails, her eyes looking Slightly red from a distance, as if she had been crying, which she had been. 

After leaving Lydia to find James, tears flowed down her cheeks, as thoughts ran a hundred miles per hour in her mind. Memories, good and bad between the two of them, know how hurt James had bad, her guilt, and so much more. She was drowning in it all, barely breathing as James finally started to walk towards her. He pulled his helmet off, tossing it to the ground with his gloves once he was a few feet away from her. And as she watched him, he didn't look too pleased.

When he finally came to a stop in front of her, he opened his mouth to say something, but Y/N beat him to it. 

“I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I shouldn't have left you beneath the hall. It was a stupid thing for me to do because I like you but I was scared because I'm friends with Lydia-” She took a deep breath, her voice cracking as she continue to nervously pick at her fingers. “- and I wasn't sure if She would be happy if she found out we kissed. I shouldn't have treated you the way that I have been.” James listened as she rambled. A part of him couldn't be mad at her. Yea, he had hurt at her avoidance, always asking why she did what she did, and a part of him told him to continue to stay mad at her, but as he watched her now, nervous, guilt, her own form of hurting, he couldn't bring himself to do so. 

So he did the next best thing he could think of. 

He grabbed her hands to stop the picking, before she did it to the point where she drew blood. Then he pulled her close, his lips slamming against hers, shutting her up. She let out a surprised gasp as whistles and whoops and hollers could be heard behind them. 

Y/N leaned into the kiss, tasting the saltiness of her tears and when the two finally pulled away, James wiped away said tears. He searched her eyes, kissed her forehead, and then pulled her into a hug. 

“I get it.” He whispered. “It hurt, but I get it.” James pulled back to look into her eyes again. 

“It wasn't fair to you. And I feel guilty that I caused you to hurt because I was the stupid one.” 

“I don't blame you for your actions because of your emotions. You realized you’re mistake. We can put it behind us.” He said. His hands came up to her face, cupping her cheeks, and she leaned into him.

“How can you still love me after all of this?” She asked. 

James gave her a soft smile. 

“Oh sweetheart.” he pressed another soft and gentle kiss to her lips, one of his hands falling from her cheek to her waist, pulling her against him. When he pulled away from her again, so that their lips were barely brushing against each other, He whispered. “I never stopped loving you.” 

----

taglist: @honethatty12 @lifeonawhim @ashamedtobewhitemanswhore27 @maryvibess @wheredidmyeyesgo @imasimptoowth @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @sillyfreakfanparty

[igotanidea]

Specter: Jason Todd x ghost!reader (pt 1)

Warnings: death of reader (duh!), death and resurrection of the other main character, angst

***

She was his best friend.

His only friend.

More than his friend.

Knowing each other since they were kids running loose on the streets of Gotham forced to tend to themselves.

He chuckled at the memory of their first meeting.

Fighting over few apples and a half loaf of bread she managed to rim from some man while batting her elalashes and making innocent face of a street-starving girl.

Well, she was a street starving girl, but as far away from innocent as they come, of which fact Jason was almost brutally made aware upon trying to steal some of it from her. Gaining a bruised eye and a scratch that left a tiny scar on his arm instead.

A well-deserved scar, cause even after all those years he was mentally cringing at the memory he was actually trying to rob a girl his age of food. Terrible thought. In his defence, he was starving himself.

Fortunately, they somehow came to an agreement and since then, there was always someone to care for and who could take care of them by their side.

Y/N and Jason.

Together even when not.

Inseparable even after that batmobil-tires accident, cause there was no way in hell Jason would start living with the Bruce Wayne and left his best only friend behind.

Nah.

So would anyone be surprised that after a while they actually started falling in love? Or maybe they were in love from the beggining since the apples but never noticed?

The point however stood, obvious to everyone but those two donkey level stubborn young adults.

So apart from a few stolen kisses, helluva blushing, talking through the nights, secret awkward hugs and one attempt at intimacy, nothing—

Ok, you know what scratch that last sentence. A LOT has happened in the span of a few weeks. And it brought them significantly closer. Hoping for more and actually trying to work towards more.

So when Jason, at the mature age of 16 went for another Batman-related mission, he pecked her lips and promised to have the real talk about their future when he gets back.

Spoiler alert: He never did.

And when Batman walked to the Batcave with no Robin to follow him and broke the news it was like Y/N’s heart was gone with Jason’s life.

Torn from her chest since at that moment it stopped beating and everything lost its meaning.

She refused to eat, drink, talk and get up in the morning. Spending her days in isolation or sitting by his symbolical grave since the body was never found.

Withering her young life away at the graveyard.

No one ever told her the truth.

***

Miraculously Jason came back five years later. Completely different than a scrawny kid everyone used to know him. Raging terror upon Gotham for a while before actualy forming some kind of allegiance with the Bats. And at some point, the question had to be asked. And the hard truth had to be revealed.

„Where is Y/N?” he whispered, getting shy, gulit, regret and remorse filling him to the brim as he was searching through the entire manor in search for her.

A few saddened looks were exchanged between his siblings as those words rung in the air.

Oh, no.

„Where the hell is she?!” Jason yelled, ready to punch a wall, hit Dick in the face and beat the shit out of Bruce for keeping something from him.

„Jaybrird—„

„Do not fucking call me that Grayson! Where is my Y/N?!”

„No one told you—„

„She;s dead.” Damian muttered, unaware of the consequences of dropping such a bomb on his brother. „We burried her a year—„

Jason roared like a wounded animal, nearly making the glass in the window shutter.

„DEAD?!!”

„Jason—„

„STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!”

„I think you should-„

„YOU DON’T GET TO TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING DICKHEAD!”

The rage creeping inside Jason’s head and heart was suffocating. Beating the post-Pit madness multiple times and seeming neverending. He panted and wailed, wanting to destroy something. Kill someone. Anyone, but preferably the one responsible for Y/N;s premature departure from the world. Set a fire to the manor. Break into the League of Assasin’s headquarters and let them kill him. For good this time. Crawl into the deepest darkest pit and die.

„Jason—„

„WHO DID THIS?!”

„It was—„

„I WANT A NAME!”

„We don’t-„

„I WANT THAT PERSON;S HEAD ON A STICK!”

No matter how hard Dick, Tim, Cass, Steph and Barbara tried to get to him (cause obviously Damian was just watching with curiosity), nothign worked.

„It was an accident.” Bruce muttered, finally joining the family allured by the screams.

„AN ACCIDENT?!”

„A car crash. She was just a pedestian, did nothing wrong. The driver was DUI.”

„SO WHAT?! YOU’RE A FUCKING BILLIONAIRE, YO COULDN’T HAVE PROVIDED HER WITH A GOOD FUCKING DOCTOR!?”

„She died instantly.”

„SHE—„ Jason’s voice broke, all the anger finally subsiding replaced by the pain. „She what- ?”

„I am sorry jason…”

„SHE WAS YOUR RESPONSIBLITY!”

„No, she was your resposibilty Jason. You were the one who befrended her, fell for her, brought her into this life. Should have known better.”

„SHUT UP!”

„She stayed here after you died instead of moving forward, unable to forget you.”

„SHUT THE FUCK UP!” it was impossible to listen to Bruce only fueling up the guilt and pain iside Jason’s heart.

„She—„

„Master Bruce.” Now Alfred came into the scene, preventing another blood bath that were bound to happen between a father and a son. ‘Perhaps we should give master Jason some space now. Miss Y/N’s death took a heavy toll on all of us, didn;t it?”

”Hm.”

„Come Jay. Upstairs.” Cass smiled at him to the best of her abilities „You need rest.”

Hazily he took a few steps forward but didn;t miss Bruce’s pained whisper and haunted expression.

„You’re not the only one who lost her…”

***

It’s been five years since then.

But now, as Jason was standing by her grave it all felt surreal.

Y/N Y/L/N, daughter, friend, prankster.

That last word was something she would laugh at.

But he was not.

Five years. The same amount he was gone, same amount for which she believed him to be dead, visiting his grave.

Did she feel all those feels he was dealing with right now?

Emptiness.

Numbness.

Anger.

And that pressuring what if-.

They could have been happy together. Working though their difficulties and becoming real. Maybe starting a family. Escaping all this shitty vigilantism life pushed them both into.

Destroying both of their lifes.

One cold six feet under, the other cold six feet inside.

„I miss you.” He whispered in the space, putting a buquet of flowers on the ground next to the ledger „You will forever be the one to haunt me.”

With that he turned around, walking away with head hung low and hands in the pockets of his jacket.

Getting back to his apartment.

In which she could have been with him if things were to work out differently.

part 2 : phantom

[melancholy-of-nadia]

love u lately (m) #9 | myg/knj/pjm

title: love u lately​ chapter title: #9 - pour up pairing: yoongi x f. reader, namjoon x f. reader, jimin x f. reader (yoonminjoon x f. reader) rating/genre: m (18+) ; smut ; college/university au , pseudo frat! bts; best friends! yoonminjoon friends to lovers; summary: welcome to your "fuck it" era. you ran away and haven't returned back to the house since the fight with yoongi and jimin. you're not sure how namjoon hasn't caught on to anything yet... but now taehyung, hoseok, and jungkook just invited you to go out to party at some random frat not at your campus and get you to destress from the drama. oh you're going to destress alright. pour up a drink and well, you might... regret... this decision... warnings:  ANOTHER LONG CHAPTER, flashback pov, angsty, stressful, alcohol consumption, dance battle, FIGHTING, multiple fights?, blood mention, crying, THE TRUTH, AND MORE CONFESSIONS, txt appearance, sakura appearance, soyoon and john eun and san appearance, jin lowkey snitching, ANGRY NAMJOON, soft namjoon, throwing up, kissing, SMUT, creampie, fingering, no other smut warnings it's a surprise but its very tame no worries, reader is on BC, good end?, EXTRA POV at the end, a lot happens i can't remember hehehe maybe i am drunk too note: again pls send love to @daegudrama who is in charge of editing these terrible chapter total word count: 14.3k drop date:  April 12th, 2024, 6:00PM PST cross posted on AO3 here ← #8 | Series Masterlist | #10

March 1st [Friday]

It’s been 2 weeks.

2 weeks since the fight.

2 weeks since you have last been “home”.

That’s not to say you haven’t taken a shower or changed out of your clothes since then. God, no.

You’ve been staying in Hwasa’s dorm ever since. Her roommate went on an immersion program abroad, so she has no roommate for this semester. Luckily, you’ve had access to her dorm’s shared bathroom to freshen up and her roommates' baron bed.

As for clothes and other stuff, Jungkook has been bringing you everything you need. He’s the only one you can rely on from the house as you’ve always been the most comfortable around him outside of Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi. He’s also the one who knew about the deal and didn’t tell anyone, aside from blabbering to Jimin back in October. 

You’re not 100% sure what the aftermath was like in that house after you left. But one thing for sure is that the other guys—not involved in the deal—have covered up things to Joon about your disappearance. They know how rocky things are, and if Namjoon knew all of this, you think it could make things a million times worse. You appreciate them stepping in like that though, no matter what they think of the situation.

Jungkook did attempt to recap it all through text, rather thoroughly.

+++++++++++

 — past —

February 15th [Friday]

“You guys done fucked things up now. A three-way relationship? Are you fucking kidding me?” Jin was seething as he scolded Jimin and Yoongi in the living room. The other guys were sitting at the dining table as Jin told them that they had to stay for this ordeal. They sat there in silence, waiting for this to (hopefully) end as soon as possible.

If the argument from earlier didn’t sober everyone up, then Jin’s yelling definitely did.

“And you! Taehyung! What were you thinking asking that?!” Jin pointed his finger at Taehyung.

“Huh? Me!? Jimin was the one who told me to ask something risky if Yoongi pulled that block.” Tae tried to avert his gaze from the older man. 

Everyone groaned. Jenga blocks still remained scattered on the table and on the floor of the living room. Unfinished snacks and drinks remained a mess around the table as well. Jin made a mental note to make Yoongi and Jimin clean up the aftermath of Friday Night Game Night as punishment for what happened.

“But you know what, I expected something like this at some point. Hoseok and Taehyung, please pay up. I take Venmo.” The two men—that Jin name dropped—groaned, pulling out their phones to send him the money. “Hyung, what the hell, man?!” Jimin glanced at them back and forth, appalled. Even Yoongi was confused that there was something like this going on, but he really shouldn’t be the one judging right now. “What? Did you think we didn’t suspect anything? That y’all were slick? There were signs...” Jin’s words drifted off.

“Like?” Yoongi narrowed his eyes at the older man. “Well should I mention the blowjob that Honey gave you in Mr. Kang’s office?” Hoseok interjected as he turned around from his chair. Yoongi’s eyes widened, “What the fuck? H-How did you—” He stumbled on his words. Hoseok didn’t come in until after it ended, he thought. How would he have known!?

“The door may have been closed, but people approaching the door can still hear what goes on behind it. Especially in that old ass building…” Hoseok sighed, “Thought it was just you jacking off in there at first, but when I heard you say, and I quote,  ‘Fuck. You really drive me crazy. You know that, Sunshine?’ I connected the dots quickly. I sat out there waiting until it ended so I could come in to drop my shit.” He emphasized, leaving Yoongi completely speechless.

“Jimin sent me Y/N’s nudes accidently one night!” Taehyung stood up from his chair in an instant, abruptly confessing. “He unsent them, but I caught it! He had to fes’ up to me after that. I thought it was just the both of them in a situationship. Then when Jin said Yoongi hyung was also involved, I couldn’t believe that. But I started connecting the dots during the trip.”

Yoongi narrowed his eyes at Jimin, snarling a bit. Trying to avoid further questioning, Jimin mouths out to him that it happened while he was drunk when he stayed over at Taehyung’s during Christmas break. Though of course, Yoongi cannot read his lips.

“I didn’t lose the bet because I always knew there was a possibility it wasn’t just hyung and Honey after I caught them having sex. Especially based on the conversation Jimin and I had during his birthday party. So I was on Jin’s side.” Jungkook added, then he shrugged. 

“Interesting. Yoongi had told me about a dilemma he had with someone he was seeing. Jimin was also acting a little too clingy to Honey than usual, so I put the pieces together and realized what these two were doing. I thought I was wrong, but Jesus Christ…” Jin sat down in the loveseat, wondering if he had failed as president of Beta Tau Sigma. Should he have not let you move in to prevent this? Or should he have brought it up privately to you three and warned you all not to do it? Whatever scenario he thinks of doesn’t matter. What happened, happened. Now people are hurt and humiliated. He has to step it up to help you guys in any way, especially you. “Does Namjoon hyung know?” Taehyung inquired, earning everyones’ immediate deadpan stare at him. The silent action makes it seem that there is a shared understanding of something. No one wants Namjoon to know what happened. They know that if he finds out, they might have to be ready for their own funerals. “No.” Yoongi answered. “Fair enough. So what’s the plan now?” He followed up with another question. “We don’t even know where Honey went? Is she even somewhere safe?” Taehyung’s attitude towards this situation has been nonchalant, but in reality, he was actually very concerned for your mental wellbeing. He may be a social butterfly fuckboi, but whatever Jimin and Yoongi hid from you was a new low to him. You weren’t very close to him before, but he has grown fond of you in the past 2 years he’s known you. “We’re not telling Namjoon hyung that’s for sure!” Jungkook chimed in, scrolling at his recent messages. “I texted Hwasa because it’s the first person I thought she’d go to. She said that Honey was with her, asleep on her bed. Doesn’t seem like Honey wants to come back anytime soon.”

The guys let out a sigh of relief, though guilt shadowed Jimin and Yoongi. Feeling worn out, Jimin decided to get up from his spot, stumbled a bit and headed up to his room. Jin’s about to follow in pursuit to get him to come back and help clean up, but Yoongi stopped him. “Just let him be, I’ll help clean up if you need it,” The cat-eyed man said, reading into Jin’s intentions. “He’s already mentally punishing himself over this.”

After this, the other guys went into their rooms and called it a night. Yoongi remained in the dimly lit living room area, cleaning the mess that was left behind and reflecting on his frustrations. +++++++++++

You asked Jungkook about Namjoon. You knew that he would start to find things suspicious and eventually interrogate everyone about your whereabouts, like the older sibling figure he is. But Jungkook said that wasn’t the case. Jungkook [Feb 22nd 20XX; 9:24PM]: No, Hyung’s been holed up in his room working on his polisci papers or in the lib’s lab room helping his buddies with stuff.

Jungkook [Feb 22nd 20XX; 9:25PM]: He did ask about you though. Jungkook [Feb 22nd 20XX; 9:25PM]: But me and tae said that you’ve been busy working on a mid-semester project with her so you would be staying over at her dorm for a while. Jungkook [Feb 22nd 20XX; 9:27PM]: Yoongi hyung and Jimin have been closed off since then, but Namjoon hyung hasn’t noticed much.

You keep going through your past texts between Jungkook and rereading what was sent. There are more messages from him mentioning that Jimin and Yoongi have been more standoffish towards others, making you feel concerned for them. Wait. No. You shake your head. Why are you even worried? They were the ones who started it. Did they not realize that things were better off platonic, instead of messing with your heart?

You breathe out, locking your phone. You go back to lying down on your side on the bed, closing your eyes to stop yourself from spiraling. The door suddenly unlocks, and the creaking sound marks Hwasa's entrance into the dorm. Opening your eyes, you observe her movements as she places her backpack on the desk. “Hey Hon, did you go to your class at noon?” She asks, her eyes searching yours. You nod, answering, “Yeah, couldn’t skip it today. Professor Watanabe said we were having a quiz because no one asked questions last class. Came back here after class.”

“Ah, gotcha.” Hwasa comes over to settle on your bed, arranging a throw pillow against the wall for comfort. She shifts her position, making herself at home. "How are ya feeling?"

“Better than before, but still not that great.”

“Maybe you should go out tonight. I think Nu Kappa is having a party tonight? Oh wait, Sigma Lambda is for sure having a house party. Let me check in with Joshua for that one because–”

“No.” You cut her off, though the word coming out of your mouth sounded much harsher than you had wanted it to. “I just don’t want to be around people that I know or potentially know me. Or just run into them.” You refer to Yoongi and Jimin with that line, maybe even Namjoon too. 

You want to talk this whole thing over with them, but you’re not ready yet. You just can’t organize your thoughts yet, and you don’t know why. Maybe it’s the anxiety of knowing that a conversation about this would eventually lead to you guys to cut off contact completely. And that could be it. Maybe that’s for the better. 

You will move out of the Beta Tau Sigma house.

Maybe you can ask Student Housing if they’d be willing to let you officially move into Hwasa’s dorm for the rest of the semester.

Yeah, you can manage to make this work out. But is it what you really want?

No. Of course not. But at this point in time, you can’t imagine this going any other way. “My bad, girl. I just wanted to help cheer you up.” Hwasa’s expression becomes somber.

No, no. You didn’t mean it like that. Why can’t your brain work properly?! “No, it’s just— sorry.” You apologize, trying to think of something to brighten up the mood. “But if you want to go out, don’t let me stop you, bestie! Maybe you want to see a special someone out.” 

Hwasa lets out a giggle, “It’s okay, I know you’re going through a lot right now.” She places her hand on your back to give you reassuring rubs. “But I’ll take that suggestion. Joshua told me his friend is making his DJ debut at Sigma Lambda so I wanted to drop by and support.”

Concern crosses your face, “That sounds pretty awesome, but are you okay going alone? I can go with you if you want.” She shakes her head. “Nah, it’s cool. I don’t want to force you to be there when you’re not feeling too hot. I’ll hit up Annie and ask if she’s down to come with me.” “Okay, that sounds good.” You reply, appreciating her understanding and the attempt to bring some normalcy back into the evening.

+++++++++++

Hwasa was in luck because Annie did respond not long after she sent her a text. She invited Hwasa to get ready over at her dorm, which was the nice apartment-like dorm on the northernmost part of campus. Hwasa says that she might come back late, but more than likely, thinks she’ll be knocked out at Annie’s dorm. She’ll keep you posted. Before she leaves that night, she gives you her access card (since you’ve been entering her dorm before thanks to the shared bathroom she has with the 2 girls in the next dorm) and tells you to feel free to go out to get something for dinner. After that happens, you’re left alone now. The Hello Kitty clock on Hwasa’s table read, “8:46 PM” Maybe you should grab something to eat. You honestly haven’t been eating properly. But you are tired of the dining hall food after almost two weeks of eating it. You hated it even when you used to dorm last year. “Maybe I’ll order from DoorDash to treat myself after a tough week,” You say to yourself while you lay down on Hwasa’s big fluffy pink floor rug. Netflix movie night and take-out sounds ideal, right?

Just as you’re scrolling through your phone trying to find an option you’re craving, you hear a loud knock at the door. 

Oh shit.

It’s not Hwasa, right? She would’ve texted you that she was coming back because she forgot something. Then is it the RA? No. Hwasa said she was cool with him, so he wouldn’t snitch you out. Did something else happen?

You get up from your comfortable position to walk towards the door. You’re not gonna lie, you’re a little nervous to open it.

Who the fuck could it even be on a Friday night?

You open it slowly, seeing tall figures coming into view.

“Honey, come out!” “Taehyung!?” You yelp out. Once you recognize the voice, you rapidly open the door wide enough to find Taehyung, Jungkook and Hoseok on the other side. “What the hell are you guys doing here?” You ask. You don’t remember telling them to come over. Even if you did, there’s not much they can do in such a small dorm. This is the first time in two weeks you’re talking to any of the other guys besides Jungkook. “We came over because we want to invite you out,” Hoseok responds this time, signature heart smile showing. “We know you haven’t been feeling well so we want to go with you and let loose!”

You’re getting deja vu from the same conversation you had with Hwasa earlier.

“So go get changed out of your…pajamas.” Jungkook looks down at you as he speaks, somewhat checking you out. A thought in your mind just clicks that he was looking at your chest, wearing no bra and cleavage all out. Men… You’ve been wearing your lace tank top and My Melody pajama pants since you got back from class. You didn’t have any plans of going out after class, so why be dressed up in tight jeans, a shirt and whatever else for the whole day? 

“Look, guys. That sounds like a mighty plan you got there, but I really don’t think I should go.” “But why not? There’s nothing better than drinking and forgetting your regrets! Please come with us!” Taehyung steps in closer, trying to welcome himself inside.

“Because… I’m feeling a little sick…?” The guys look at you in complete disbelief before you admit the truth. “Okay, fine, I don’t want to party around here and see these people.”

“Who said we’re partying here?” Jungkook smirks, “No, we’re going… somewhere else.” “Where is this ‘somewhere else’ you speak of?” You narrow your eyes, mild interest sparking behind them.

“Stop asking so many questions and just get ready. I’ll even help you pick out something.” Hoseok takes this as an opportunity to enter the dorm, where you direct him to your closet of stuff. The two other guys follow in as well and stand there as Hoseok is sifting through the rack mixed with jeans, blouses, skirts and sweaters.  

“Here, this is cute.” He hands you your black heart ring detail halter top, flared jeans, and a black knit cardigan. “Oh, this isn’t that bad of a look? No wonder people say you’re the most stylish on the dance team.” 

Hoseok grins, his eyes lighting up with pride at the compliment. "Well, you know, I've got an eye for these things. Now, go change into this. The night may be young, but we’re not getting any younger here!"

You take the outfit from him, a small smile playing on your lips. "Thanks, Hobi. I appreciate it." You look back at the guys who are still standing in the dorm, chuckling. "Um alright, can you guys step outside the door while I change?"

“Oh whoops!” Jungkook yells out, The three guys scurry out of the dorm, giving you a moment of privacy to change. 

Hoseok calls after you behind the door, "Let me know if you need any makeup tips! I'm a pro at this too."

You chuckle, appreciating the effort to lighten the mood. In the bathroom, you quickly change into the outfit Hoseok picked out. It's a mix of your style but with a touch of Hoseok's fashion flair. The black heart ring detail halter top fits snugly, paired with flared jeans and a cozy black knit cardigan. You glance at yourself in the mirror, the reflection showing a slightly different version of you.

After a deep breath, you open the door, greeted by the approving nods and smiles of Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jungkook. Taehyung claps his hands together. "Looking good! Now, let's get out there and have some fun!"

With excitement now in the air, you grab your bag before you go and you all head out the building.

+++++++++++

Jungkook leads the way to his car, a sleek 2017 Mercedes-Benz C300 parked in the student parking lot next to Hwasa's dorm. The soft glow of the streetlights reflects off the polished surface, and you can't help but appreciate the comfortable luxury of his car. You will always remember that he begged his parents to sign off on it so he could get it as his graduation gift.

Jungkook unlocks the doors, and you all pile in, anticipation building for the night ahead.

The drive is filled with a mix of laughter and excited chatter as you navigate through the city. The atmosphere in the car is lively, the previous stress of weeks ago momentarily forgotten as you stare out of the car looking at the skyline of city lights on the freeway. It feels less suffocating over here. No Jimin. No Yoongi. No Namjoon. Just you and the other boys. You weren’t too keen on coming along with them, but now that you’re sitting here, DEAN’s Pour Up bass boosted on the car speakers, you know you made a good choice. You gotta let loose.

After 20 minutes on the road, Jungkook exits off the freeway into a residential area. As he finds a parking spot, you can hear the distant bass of music and the chatter of college students walking around. Is this another college’s Greek row?  The car engine turns off, and you all step outside looking around the neighborhood.

You're immediately struck by the grandeur of the fraternity houses. They are much bigger than the ones at your college campus, their size and architecture exuding an air of privilege. These houses are easily identifiable by the prominent display of large Greek letters or flags proudly adorning the front, signaling the presence of each fraternity.

Lights spill out from the windows, and the distant sounds of music and laughter grow louder as you approach the houses. The atmosphere is charged with anticipation, and you can't help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness being here. Though, you’re glad that you won’t run into people you know here. And even if you do, the chance is likely really low. Who would come 20 minutes away to party at another college?

Once this question comes to your mind, you feel a little odd. Wait, are you forgetting something?

Before you can think about it more, Jungkook gently holds your wrist, leading the way through the lively crowds of students walking around, and you follow suit. 

The four of you approach the entrance of one of the bigger fraternity houses, the thumping bass becomes almost palpable. The flag outside says ΗΨΒ— Eta Psi Beta. You’re honestly not familiar with this one as it seems to be one that doesn’t have a chapter at your college. Without hesitation or restrictions, you guys walk into the side entrance leading to the backyard. After several steps of walking along the slightly lit path, you're engulfed in an atmosphere of sights and sounds. The massive backyard is packed with people, the air pulsating with the beats of a 2010s party mix blaring from the speakers. You see a pretty girl with a colorful knit top and black hair DJing the party from the far end of the backyard, along with several people behind her overseeing the vibes. Color-changing lights crisscross above, connected to tall oak trees, casting a warm glow over the lively scene below.

To your right, a makeshift bar is set up, complete with a variety of drinks and colorful cocktails. Students are chatting, dancing, and moving in synchronized rhythm with the music. The atmosphere is infectious, and you find yourself getting into the groove, the worries of the past weeks slowly fading away. 

Jungkook, Taehyung, and Hoseok lead you through the crowd, their excitement contagious. You can't help but marvel at the sheer scale of the party, a stark contrast to the more intimate gatherings you're used to. 

"Isn't this amazing?" Taehyung exclaims over the music, and you respond with an enthusiastic nod.

“How the hell did you guys find this party?” you shout back at him, catching yourself staring at the DJ Girl changing the setlist to some House and UK Garage music to hype up the crowd more.

“Jungkook says he knows a guy here!” Hoseok adds.

“Yeah! We go to the same gym off-campus and box a bit,” Jungkook explains closer to your ear so you could hear amid the lively ambiance. “Oh look! Speak of the devil!” His eyes widen when he sees the man he’s referring to step right up in front of you guys. “Woah! Jungkook! You came!” The man speaks with excitement in his eyes, facial features reflecting a youthfulness that adds to his charm. Like Jungkook, he possesses captivating doe eyes that convey both innocence and a hint of curiosity. He is seemingly younger than your group, however, his height is exactly the same as the trio with you. Jungkook chuckles, going in for a bro hug. “Didn’t think I was going to, but I dragged some friends with me.” Jungkook moves aside to introduce you three, “This is Hoseok, Taehyung, and Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you guys! I’m Taehyun Kang.” He extends a handshake to each of you, catching you off guard. Awkwardly, you take his hand in yours. His politeness radiates, and you can't help but find it adorable.

Taehyun leads the way, gesturing toward the makeshift bar. "Oh! Since you guys are here, let's get some drinks!" he suggests, guiding you through the lively crowd towards the vibrant bar area. “We have a special jungle juice just for tonight’s event. We call it Sugar Rush Ride!” He leans close to you guys, “We basically dumped a bunch of blue raspberry Jolly Ranchers in it mixed with other alcohols!” “Oh that seems pretty cool! Let me get some!” You say.  Taehyun smiles, pouring you some in a blue plastic cup and hands it to you. “You guys want to try some too?”

“I’m the DD for the drive back home, but these two can get some.” Hoseok reassures the younger men it's okay to get wasted. He’s always been a reliable upperclassman and brother to them.

You take the chance to sip the cup. Mm. It’s a little too sweet for your taste, but the strong burning sensation (of what you assume is rum and vodka), helps it lessen. Good. This is what you need right now so badly.

Fuck it.

For a moment, you're content to let go of your troubles and embrace the carefree spirit of the night.

+++++++++++

“Where’s Y/N? She’s not in her room.”

This question catches Jin off guard as he sips his wine, slightly choking on it before setting it down on the coffee table. He’s hanging out with Namjoon, John, San and Soyoon watching a Ghibli movie in the living room. Not that he was paying much attention, he was on his phone playing the new Maple Story update. Yoongi went to play basketball at the intramural gymnasium on campus, while Jimin went drinking with an upperclassmen, Taemin.

Of course Jin knew where you were this whole time since the fight, and even tonight when Hoseok said they were inviting you to the Eta Psi Beta party at the neighboring university. But is he about to tell Namjoon?

He’s not sure. Jin pauses the game on his phone, glancing at Namjoon. "Yeah, she mentioned she's spending the night at Hwasa's place. They've been hanging out a lot lately," he says, attempting a nonchalant tone to avoid revealing any hint of the tension between you and the others. His eyes flicker between the screen and Namjoon, unsure whether he should disclose more information.

Namjoon raises an eyebrow, a slight frown forming on his face. "Is she okay?"

Jin hesitates for a moment, debating how much to share. "I guess? She just said she needed a change of scenery, you know?"

"What do you mean?" Namjoon presses, sensing there might be more to the story.

Jin takes a deep breath, his gaze shifting away momentarily. "Look, there's been some tension lately. I think she just needed some space to clear her head."

Namjoon's expression tightens, concern deepening. "Tension? What happened?" John, San and Soyoon’s attention from the movie has been diverted to the conversation happening between Jin and Namjoon. Jin sighs, knowing he can’t divulge more information in front of them. So he gets up, grabbing Namjoon’s wrist, and dragging him into the hallway leading to their rooms. “God, I hate having to hide shit from you of all people.” Jin whispers aggressively, putting his hands on the taller man’s shoulders. “Fine, basically, Y/N ran away two weeks ago and is staying at Hwasa’s dorm.” “...What the fuck, Seokjin?!” Namjoon reins in his emotions, realizing that getting upset won't help him understand the situation better. Now, more than ever, he needs to find out what's going on with you. “Why didn’t anyone tell me—”

He interrupts the younger man, sighing in frustration. “It’s not my place to tell you what happened exactly and neither was it anyone else’s. I think you might have an idea, though, even if you weren’t there. If you want to know, go find her.”

Namjoon is left speechless, brows furrowing as he absorbs the information, a surge of worry overtaking him. 

Jin nods, understanding Namjoon's urgency. “And we didn’t want to get you upset and probably wreck anything…or anyone.”

“Where is she, Jin?”

Jin, once again hesitates for a moment. “She’s at a party with Hoseok, Tae, and Jungkook. It’s at the…Eta Psi Beta house at that neighboring university, not too far from here.”

“Oh Sh–” Namjoon looks like a deer caught in headlights, evident concern plastered on his face. “Did you not fucking know that’s the frat that he is in?”

“He?” Jin pauses for a moment confused about who Namjoon was referring to before it all clicks in his head, panicking. “Holy fuck! How was I supposed to remember that? Jungkook said he had a friend there. And I mean, it’s a big frat…what are the odds that she’ll run into him?”

Namjoon takes a deep breath, frustration and worry battling within him. He has been keeping tabs here and there on this guy for over a year, just out of concern for you. He wasn’t sure if you’d ever plan to seek him, or vice versa. No, this isn’t good. 

He doesn't want to waste any time. 

“I’m going out!” Without another word, he heads towards the front door.

John gets up from the couch seeing the commotion. “Woah, Joon, what’s going on?” His brows furrow, searching Namjoon's face for answers.

Namjoon's jaw clenches as he sighs, concern etched across his face. “I need to go find Y/N. She’s at Eta Psi’s party at UOX 20 minutes away, and she might be in some trouble soon.” As he speaks, his eyes dart around, calculating the steps he needs to take.

John senses the urgency in Namjoon's movements and offers his assistance. “I’ll take you! I didn’t drink at all earlier so I’m good to drive.”

Soyoon, catching wind of the unfolding situation, joins in, her eyes wide with concern. “We'll come along too and help you find her!”

Meanwhile, Jin, trying to compose himself, acknowledges the chaos. “I wanna go, but I’ll stay here. Yoongi will be back later, so it’ll be suspicious if we’re all gone,” he says, his demeanor calm but resolute, a stabilizing force amid the growing turmoil. Namjoon’s gaze flickers briefly to Jin, silently thanking him for staying behind. He then nods appreciatively at John's offer, grateful for the immediate support. "Thanks, John. Let's go."

 He gestures for San and Soyoon to follow as well, her worried expression mirrors his own. As they make their way to the door, John grabs his jacket, his movements quick and purposeful.

The front door closes, leaving Jin alone with his own contemplations. The room, once filled with casual conversation and the glow of the TV now feels empty and eerily quiet.

He glances at his phone, pondering whether he should reach out to Yoongi. He knows Yoongi hates that man’s guts just as much as Namjoon, but he knows that you will be even more troubled if you see him as well. As he debates internally, Jin takes a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever repercussions may follow, hoping that Namjoon can find you and the other boys swiftly and ensure you don’t end up seeing him.

+++++++++++

After several drinks, you’ve gotten lost in the humongous crowd of people filling the backyard of this frat house. The last time you remember seeing Taehyung’s social butterfly ass was when he was striking up conversations with a couple of girls. His infectious laughter and charming boxy smile drew them towards him, and soon he was engaged in a friendly game of beer pong with a group jealous guys and trying to show off his skills and impressive aim to the girls. They loved it.

You believe Jungkook was dragged away by an excited Taehyun wanting to show him something inside the house, though you’re not sure if he’s back…and somewhere in this crowd.  

So that leaves you with Hoseok for a while, and when 4 Walls by F(X) starts playing, he nudges you into the middle of the crowd.

You dance with him for a bit, enjoying yourself as you attempt to follow along the movements he does. This ends with you awkwardly laughing at your own failure. You could never pop and lock, or whatever he did.  You’re just not that flexible at all or well-versed with dance moves that aren’t “The Robot”. But Hoseok is gentle when teaching you. Compared to how strict he is with his students during his dance class sessions, according to Jungkook.

Dancing with him was short-lived, as he tells you to stay put because he wants to enter the dance circle emerging from the middle of the crowd in front of the DJ. He might be the DD for the night, but he isn’t going to miss out on the fun while being sober.

You don’t want to be squished with drunk, sweaty bodies around you, so you end up next to the DJ booth, where the same girl is still spinning tracks and taking charge of the party’s setlist. Her effortless grace and commanding presence behind the turntables catch your attention, and you can't help but be intrigued by her.

"So, how did you get into DJing?" you ask, raising your voice slightly to be heard over the music. Usually, you’re not as courageous to start conversations with random people, but today, the alcohol in your system said otherwise.

The girl flashes you a warm smile, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. "Well, I've always had a passion for music," she replies, adjusting a knob on the mixer with practiced ease. "Back in Japan, I used to DJ at small local events. When I came here for my exchange program, I jumped at the chance to share my love for music with a new audience."

You nod, impressed by her dedication and talent. "Oh wow! That's amazing. You're really good at it," you comment, nodding towards the crowd as they groove to the beat.

Her smile widens at the compliment, a hint of pride in her eyes. "Thanks! I love seeing people enjoy themselves on the dance floor, connected by the music."

As you continue chatting, you come to find out her name is Sakura, and is in the same year as you. Before you get the chance to tell her your name, your attention is suddenly drawn to the makeshift dance floor where Hoseok is engaged in a spirited dance battle with another party-goer. The two of them move with grace and precision, their movements synchronized to the pulsating rhythm of the music.

You watch in awe as Hoseok dazzles the crowd with his fluid dance moves, his energy infectious as he captivates everyone around him. The other dancer, who you couldn’t see well from your angle, seems to hold their own with impressive skill drawing impressed sounds from the people watching. The guy keeps matching Hoseok move for move while Summer Walker’s Dat Right There plays in the background. After they finish, two other guys are up and dancing to the next song on Sakura’s setlist.

Sakura follows your gaze as you watch Hoseok get mixed into the crowd once again, a smile playing on her lips. "Looks like your friend knows how to move," she remarks, her eyes twinkling with amusement. 

You nod in agreement, feeling a swell of pride over your friend getting complimented. “Yup! He’s won several dance competitions in the past.” You sip your blue cup. What even is the alcohol inside this cup? You think maybe you should stop drinking before you start to get the urge to puke. Though, when else can you go all out like this without their supervision?

“Competition!? Woah, that’s on a whole other level than Jun! He’s in the school’s dance team too.”

You want to continue your conversation with Sakura, but suddenly, you feel your vision spin. Shit, maybe you are at your limit. You used to be able to drink more, why are you so weak tonight? You try to hold onto the table for stability, which then catches Sakura’s attention.

 “Wait, hey…you okay?”

You quickly look up at her, and wave her off. “Uh, yeah! 100%. Just need some water.”

“There’s cases of bottled water in the kitchen, just head in through the back door. Think you can make it there? I would help, but I’m—”

You manage a weak smile, grateful for Sakura's concern. "Don’t worry! I'll do that. Thanks, Sakura," you reply, your voice sounding more slurred as you attempt to maintain your composure. With a determined nod, you push yourself away from the table, focusing on steadying your steps as you make your way toward the back door.

As you navigate through the throngs of bodies, you can feel the effects of the alcohol weighing heavily on your senses. The music seems louder now, the lights brighter, and the voices around you a chaotic blur. You press a hand to your temple, willing away the dizzy spell that threatens to overwhelm you.

The sudden shift in atmosphere hits you like a wave as you step inside the house. The air is thick with smoke, a potent mixture of cigarette and weed fumes that assault your senses. You cough slightly, your eyes watering as you try to adjust to the stifling environment. 

The dim lighting casts long shadows across the room, adding to the hazy ambiance. People are scattered throughout the space, lounging on couches, leaning against walls, and mingling in small groups. The music from outside pounds in your ears, reverberating through the walls and floor, making it difficult to think clearly. 

Making your way to the kitchen, you find the bottled water, grab one and twist off the cap, taking a long gulp of the refreshing liquid. The relief is short lived though, as you glance around, searching for a familiar face in the sea of strangers. Jungkook, Hoseok, and Taehyung are nowhere to be seen for some time. 

You feel a pang of unease at being separated from your friends at a random frat party, God knows where. You’re also passed the point of being tipsy. 

What school are you even at? Why didn’t you bother asking about it in the car earlier?

Maybe you should try finding Jungkook. Yeah, he should be inside somewhere. You didn’t see him come out earlier.

You walk to the living room to try to search for him amongst the lax bodies taking hits from bongs, but suddenly you hear your name called out.

“Y/N!”

Jungkook?

Wait, did that sound like Jungkook calling out to you? Maybe? Maybe not?

You’re drunk, but the voice sounds familiar, though. Who is that?

You turn around.

And when you do, you immediately regret it.

The familiar voice that you deemed to be Jungkook was not him, but it wasn’t completely unfamiliar to you at all. You used to hear this voice so often. A voice that would whisper sweet nothings to you in the late summer nights and would annoy the hell out of you with his comments.

It can’t be him, you think. You’re drunk! You’re just drunk, Y/N! Why would it be him, here, right now? As much as you tried to refute the appearance of that man before you, the image became clearer.

Choi Yeonjun.

Once you realize this, everything around you seizes movement. Soon, it feels like you stepped into a dream with how hazy everything has become. The atmosphere consumed with smoke from people smoking weed here is definitely not helping. 

You’re not sure if it’s the alcohol running through your veins or your anxiety making the world spin once more, but there’s a curdling feeling in your stomach now.

Before you can even think, your legs start to move you back, very slowly. Away from the man who left you devastated and heartbroken not too long ago.

“Y-Yeon–”

“Y/N…” 

Fuck. It’s been almost two years and you still can’t fucking say his name. What’s wrong with you? You’re over him. Why are you somehow standing here in fear just from being in his presence?

“I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Me either.” That’s all you can mutter out? Wait. Is the “Jun” that Hoseok was dancing against earlier. Holy shit, this is all making sense. Of course you knew he went to a university close to you, but there’s thousands of students going there too. You would’ve never thought you’d just see fucking Yeonjun out of all people at a random ass frat party.

You wonder if he could sense the fear crawling through your skin, controlling your muscle movements. Your vision quivers twice as much as it should. Don’t make eye contact dammit.

Too late.

Despite your overwhelming urge to flee, you force yourself to stand your ground as Yeonjun approaches closer, his presence looming over you like a dark shadow. Every instinct screams at you to run, to go find the guys, to escape the memories that threaten to engulf you, but you swallow down your fear and brace yourself for what comes next.

"How have you been?" He asks, his voice soft yet filled with a tinge of uncertainty. 

You can feel the weight of his gaze on you, his eyes searching your face for any sign of softness. And perhaps weakness. Your heart pounds in your chest, your palms clammy with nerves as you struggle to find the right words to respond. You’re gonna puke at this rate and it’s going to be embarrassing.

"Good... uh, how are you?" you manage to say, your voice barely above a whisper. You can't bring yourself to meet his eyes, the fear of what you might see reflected in them too overwhelming to bear. Instead, you focus on a spot just over his shoulder, willing yourself to remain composed despite the turmoil raging inside you.

Yeonjun's response is brief, almost curt. "Good," he says, his voice devoid of any emotion.

There's a tense silence between you two. You can feel the weight of the past pressing down on you, threatening to suffocate you with its suffocating embrace. But still, you refuse to break, determined to weather the storm no matter what.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Yeonjun speaks again, his voice hesitant yet persistent on something. "Okay, look, I know it’s been awhile, but I noticed you talking to Sakura earlier and I thought it was fate that I saw you after so long. Can we talk?"

“Huh? What?” 

Now what’s this about? You’ve been through too much and having a conversation about whatever the fuck is on his mind is something you do not want to do tonight. Or ever. You guys have been done. You have no more tears left to cry. You know your heart lies elsewhere.

“I know things ended badly when I left you, but—”

You’re not sure if he’s apologizing after reflecting on the past some time ago or if he’s trying to get back together with you, but you cannot stomach this. You want to leave. He’s probably drunk anyways. If he sincerely feels either of the two ways, he would’ve come to find you earlier to tell while he’s sober.

“Yeonjun,” You sigh heavily as you interrupt him, giving him a stern expression to show that you’re serious, “I’m not feeling too great right now. I need to go find the guys.”

“The guys?” Yeonjun scoffs. “You’re still hanging around with them?”

“Who?”

“Namjoon, Yoongi and Jimin.”

What? You’re not even going to tell him that’s not who you’re here with, but now you have questions. There’s something he’s clearly insinuating here that he never told you when you two were dating. You wonder if it’s related to the reason why he ended things when you thought they were going so well. 

You want to keep edging him on until he spills.

“What’s wrong with that?” You raise your eyebrow, getting progressively more pissed off.

Yeonjun’s gaze hardens, his features contorting with a mixture of frustration and disbelief. “What’s wrong with that?” he echoes, his voice tinged with bitterness. “Can’t believe you’re still so dense after all this time.”

No, never mind. You’re not going to stand here and be degraded until you get a piece of a puzzle that doesn’t matter anymore.

“If you’re going to fucking insult me, then I’m leaving.”

“No, you’re not leaving yet!” Yeonjun suddenly grabs your wrist, preventing you from leaving. His fingers dig into your skin with a painful intensity. You cringe for a moment. Panic courses through your veins as you struggle against his hold, desperate to break free from his grasp.

Before you could fight against his hold further, you turn to see a man, similar in height to Yeonjun, shoving him roughly against the nearest wall, his expression dark and menacing. This action makes Yeonjun let go as his hands are now elsewhere.

Your heart pounds in your chest as you watch the altercation unfold, fear and uncertainty swirling inside you like a raging storm. Who is this man?

Holy shit. 

Looking at him closely, the realization hits you like a ton of bricks—it's Namjoon.

Why is he here? How did he know you guys were here anyway?

"What the fuck is your problem grabbing her like that?" Namjoon's voice cuts through the chaos, his tone filled with anger and concern.

“Wait, Namjoon! Just stop. Let it go!”

Hoseok's voice breaks through the chaos, drawing your attention. He strides towards you, his eyes blazing with fury and worry. Taehyung and Jungkook follow closely behind, their expressions a mix of concern and determination. A crowd starts to form around them, even bringing in more people from outside after hearing the commotion.

Namjoon moves quickly, grabbing Yeonjun by the collar. “I don’t like violence, but you’ve really been pissing me off since that summer.” he growls, his voice dripping with menace.

Yeonjun staggers backward, out of Namjoon’s hold. Though his eyes remain wide with shock. He seems uncertain of what to do next, caught off guard by Namjoon's appearance and sudden aggression. His expression shifts from surprise to defiance, his jaw clenched with determination.

"Pissed off at me?" Yeonjun's voice is laced with poison, his eyes narrowing as he locks gazes with Namjoon. "I'm the one pissed off at you knowing she liked you this whole time and you never noticed a goddamn thing."

You remain frozen while hearing the words coming out of Yeonjun’s mouth. You liking Namjoon this whole time? Gears turn in your head. Did you never realize those feelings slip out of you? During the times you’d lovingly call Yeonjun, ‘Junnie’...did it feel so right because it was the same nickname Namjoon had? Yeonjun suddenly interjects with a sharp tone, "So you should stop acting up." 

The room falls into a momentary silence, punctuated only by the muffled thud as Yeonjun swiftly grabs a book from a nearby table and hits Namjoon's head with it. There's an audible gasp from the onlookers, some leaning forward in their spots to get a better view, while others recoil in shock at the unexpected turn of events.

Namjoon, caught off guard by the sudden blow, winces as the book makes contact with his head. He instinctively brings a hand up to rub the spot where he was struck, his expression a mixture of surprise and discomfort.

You, too, are taken aback by Yeonjun's action, your eyes widening as you and hoping they’ll just stop. 

Namjoon regains his posture and immediately goes back to gripping Yeonjun's collar, this time more tightly. "You have no idea what you're talking about," he retorts, his voice low and dangerous.

Yeonjun laughs, a bitter edge to the sound. "How thick is your skull? You can’t see how she’s looking at you, even now?” he sneers. "She's always been thinking of you all this time! Even when I was fucking her—"

Before Yeonjun can finish his sentence, Namjoon's fist connects with his jaw, the force of the blow sending him staggering backward once more. Yeonjun stumbles again, his balance thrown off by the unexpected attack and he falls to the floor.

The room erupts into chaos as people nearby shout and gasp in surprise. Namjoon steps forward, his expression dark and unreadable as he advances on Yeonjun, who raises his hands defensively.

"Namjoon, stop!" Your voice cuts through the tumult, your tone urgent as you rush forward to intervene. 

“Y/N, get away from them!” Jungkook runs towards you, trying to pull you away. Hoseok and Taehyung's faces are etched with concern as they rush to restrain Namjoon. Two other guys you recognize as Yeonjun’s close friends Soobin and Taehyun try to restrain Yeonjun as well. 

You run towards Namjoon and with a strong pull, manage to move him away and make him snap out of his sudden rage. When he looks down at your eyes, he notices you're slowly sobbing, frustrated.

He turns to look at Yeonjun, sitting on the ground as Soobin and Taehyun tend to his bloody nose as a result of the punch. 

As Namjoon's eyes meet yours, he registers the anguish reflected in your tear-filled gaze. The sight of your distress is like a bucket of cold water, jolting him out of his blind rage. Guilt washes over him as he realizes the impact his actions have had on you.

"Y/N," he murmurs, his voice thick with regret. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

But before he can finish his apology, you turn away, your shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Your heart feels heavy with a mixture of emotions—anger, frustration, and overwhelming sadness. You feel stupid in a way. What are you upset about? Is it because he fought and hurt Yeonjun? Is it because of the pact he had with Yoongi and Jimin? Is it because Yeonjun touched upon growing feelings you tried to repress?

Probably, it’s all of the above.

Namjoon reaches out to touch your arm, his expression pleading. "We need to talk."

Should you talk to Namjoon? You’re starting to sober up a bit after all that, so maybe you should come clean to him about everything that has happened not only in the last few weeks, but the last few months.

And perhaps, it’s time to put an end to your feelings or let yourself be consumed by them.

“Okay, fine, let’s go outside," you whisper, your voice barely audible over the din of the crowd. You wipe your tears, calming your breathing to stop the sobs. Namjoon nods in agreement, his expression somber as he follows you through the crowd. 

+++++++++++ 

“Why are you here?” You look down impatiently at Namjoon, who is now sitting on the sidewalk outside of the Eta Psi house. 

John, Soyoon, and San stand outside, their expressions etched with concern as they searched for you earlier. Namjoon waves them away, urging them to retreat inside and grant you both some privacy. They comply reluctantly, casting worried glances over their shoulders as they leave. They didn’t witness the fight or Namjoon getting hit, but it is evident from the tear stains on your face and Namjoon's deflated demeanor that something bad happened. They will likely learn the details later from Jungkook, who will be sure to fill them in once they are indoors.

“What? Why are you here? At this party a few towns over, all alone?”

“I wasn't alone! I came here with Tae, Jungkook and Hoseok. But what the hell is wrong with you?” “What do you mean what the fuck is wrong with me? Yeonjun suddenly grabbed you. I was trying to protect you.”

“You didn’t need to protect me because I could’ve handled that! Way better than you, who started a fight!” you retort, your voice rising with anger.

Stunned, Namjoon huffs in disbelief, jaw working overtime. “You were standing there for a solid five minutes, hands shaking, and stuck in place!”

He saw that too? Shit. He’s right. You couldn’t even move, and once again it was just like the summer right before freshman year of college. Right when he broke up with you and the last time you ever faced him. You hate having to recall that day when it felt like all the love you poured into this human you cared for so dearly became dried up and nonexistent.

Not wanting to admit your faults and being in a partially drunk stupor, you let your cold nature take over.

“Who even asked you to do that?” you snap, your tone cold and defensive.

Namjoon only stares at you, unblinking and feeling the distance you suddenly put in between him. “Who asked me? Who–” he begins, but his words trail off.

This silence cuts through the night air. For once in your life, Namjoon cannot find the right words to articulate his thoughts. He suddenly looks flustered, debating what he should even say.

And in that second, your harsher features start to soften in realization. You regret your bitter question aimed at him and reflecting on your past trauma. Why did you have to say that? What the fuck is wrong with you?  You used to be more calm and collective for fucks sake. Who even are you anymore? 

Namjoon can be petty by nature too, though he’s never been like that toward you. 

“Says the same person who’s been in a fuck buddies deal with Yoongi and Jimin.”

Silence once again. Except now, it is accompanied by a light shower. It’s raining.

Your mind, however, is very loud right now. Screaming internally with millions of questions. More importantly: How the fuck did he find out? Did the other guys spill to him? Or did he know all along? Since when? 

“Joon, that’s just…it’s not…” Cat has your tongue now.

He chuckles bitterly, “Am I even mad? Nah, ‘mad’ doesn’t even cut it.” he mutters, his voice tinged with sadness. He looks down at his hands, now covered in droplets of rainwater, and sighs heavily. “I’ve been good at hiding it, but it’s been so fucking upsetting how stupid you three are for doing that. But how the fuck could I have confronted y’all?”

“Well if it weren’t for you making out with Jihyo at the party right in front my eyes, then this wouldn’t have happened. I just got so upset and ran off. Yoongi was only trying to comfort me, but I was the one who initiated everything. So if you’re going to hate someone, hate me.”

You may have lost Yoongi and Jimin, but the idea of Namjoon hating you and losing him hurts so much. But if you have to end things, might as well do it now.

So fucking much.

“No.” He mumbles.

“What?” “No.” Namjoon’s voice is much clearer, and definitive. He stares into your eyes, but before you can fully process his response, your own words spill out in a rush of guilt and self-loathing. 

“Uh I’ve been sleeping with our other two best friends, and even that won’t get you to hate me?” Tears blur your vision and you struggle to formulate a coherent discussion of every selfish thing you’ve done. “I feel like the shittiest person alive right now! Yoongi and I basically did that out of frustration against you and Jimin becoming distant and changing. Then Jimin ended things with Irene because he liked me all this time and then he got caught up with me and Yoongi and now we got into a fight and–”

“I’m never going to hate you, Y/N.” Namjoon interrupts, his voice steady and filled with unwavering conviction. “Because even if you did that shit, it’s clear as day to me why you did all of that. It’s because you’ve been in love with me all this time too.” His words hang in the air, a profound acknowledgment of the truth that lingers between you. 

There it is.

The thoughts you never wanted to address, not even to Yoongi on the night of the Gamma party.

Namjoon finally realized too. You hate to thank Yeonjun for making the dots connect in his mind.

“Well, congrats on opening Pandora’s box, because you’re right.” you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper.

Is he going to say something sassy, like ‘I’m always right!’? You wouldn’t even mind him shoving it in your face, because you deserve it after all. You got yourself into this mess.

Namjoon rises from the sidewalk and you find yourself enveloped in his warm embrace under the rain, his arms a comforting anchor amidst the turmoil of your emotions. In that moment, you realize that perhaps there’s still hope for the two of you, despite the mistakes and misunderstandings that have plagued your relationship. As you stand in Namjoon’s embrace, surrounded by the gentle patter of raindrops and the soft glow of streetlights, you find the courage to bare your soul to him.

“Namjoon,” you begin, your voice trembling with emotion, “Ever since we first became friends, I’ve felt something for you. It’s hard to put into words, but it’s always been there, just lingering beneath the surface.”

You pause, your thoughts drifting to the countless moments you’ve shared with him—the laughter, the tears, the late-night conversations that stretched into dawn about the most existential topics. From elementary until now. Each memory is etched into your heart, forming a tapestry of emotions that binds you to him in ways you never imagined possible.

“But it’s not just you,” you continue, your words spilling out in a rush of honesty. “Yoongi and Jimin, they’ve also carved out a place in my heart, each in their own way. It’s complex, messy, and kinda overwhelming.”

Your voice wavers as you confess the tangled web of emotions that have plagued you for so long. “But you, Namjoon…you’re the first love I never wanted to admit. I really wanted to take this to the grave if I could.”

Namjoon’s arms tighten around you, offering silent reassurance as you lay bare your deepest fears and desires. You already know how he feels, but him having the chance to hear you out probably eased every one of his own doubts and concerns.

As the rain continues to fall around you, casting a soft, ethereal glow over the scene, you feel a sense of serenity wash over you. The world around you fades into the background, leaving only you and Namjoon standing amidst the gentle rhythm of the rain.

With a newfound clarity, you tilt your head up to meet Namjoon's gaze, the air thick with anticipation. His eyes, dark pools of warmth and understanding, reflect the same emotions swirling within your own heart.

In this moment, there's no need for words. The unspoken longing between you hangs heavy in the air, a silent symphony of desire and yearning that binds you together.

Slowly, almost hesitantly, you reach up, your fingers tangling in the damp strands of Namjoon's hair. His breath catches in his throat as you draw him closer, your lips hovering just inches apart.

And then, with a surge of courage born from the depths of your heart, you close the distance between you, pressing your lips against his in a tender, tentative kiss.

The world seems to stand still as your lips meet, a symphony of emotions surrounding you, with a euphoric dizzying.You’re not sure if it’s the alcohol in your system doing that anymore. This is purely you in this moment suspended in time while the soft caress of your lips are against his.

For a heartbeat, you linger in the sweetness of the kiss, savoring the taste of rain and desire on his lips. And then, as if Namjoon becomes more confident in the moment, he deepens the kiss, your bodies moving in perfect harmony as you lose yourself in the intoxicating embrace of each other.

And this is where you realize, in the gentle patter of rain and the soft glow of streetlights, that this is where you belong—in Namjoon's arms, with his lips pressed against yours, in a world where love knows no bounds.

You pull away from the kiss, a soft giggle escapes your lips. The sound mingles with the gentle patter of raindrops around you. "I've wanted to do that for so long," you admit, a playful glint in your eyes. "Even when you were being annoying and scolding me at times, I thought it would've been better to shut you up with a kiss."

Namjoon's cheeks flush with a delicate shade of pink, his gaze shifting away shyly. "I...I wouldn't have minded," he confesses, his voice barely above a whisper. You love seeing this flustered side of him, and hope you can see more of it.

Before you can respond, the sound of wet footsteps interrupts the moment, and you turn to see John emerging from the house, followed closely by Soyoon, Jungkook, Hoseok, Taehyung, and San, who peer curiously from behind him.

"Are you lovebirds done over there?" John teases, a mischievous grin spreading across his face as he gestures to you and Namjoon.

You feel your cheeks heat up at his words, feeling embarrassed that you were likely caught kissing Namjoon. Though, besides John’s question, no one else comments on the situation. "Um yeah, I think I wanna go back home," you say, your gaze shifting to Namjoon, who nods in agreement. "I wasn’t feeling good earlier, had too much to drink." "That’s why I told you to be careful!" Jungkook chimes in, scolding you jokingly as he tries to earn some brownie points from Namjoon for looking out for you. “You didn’t say anything!” You expose him, eliciting laughter from everyone present. Even amidst the lighthearted banter, your mind drifts back to Yeonjun, more or less because you’re worried about him taking legal action against Namjoon. “Wait, is Yeonjun…”

“Yeonjun’s going to be fine," Jungkook reassures, making you sigh in relief.  "Hueningkai and Beomgyu helped take him up to his room. He was pretty drunk, so we don’t think he’ll remember anything that happened tonight.”

Relief washes over you at Jungkook's reassurance about Yeonjun's well-being, the worry in your chest easing slightly. 

“Alright, I’ll take you and the others back,” John announces, motioning for you to follow him to his car parked across the street from the frat house.

As you approach the vehicle, you turn to Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jungkook across the street. “Are you guys heading back too?”

Hoseok shakes his head with a smile. “Nah, we’ll stick around for a bit longer, make sure everything's all good here.”

“The night is still young for us, but go get some rest, Honey,” Taehyung says, gesturing for you to get in the car.

You give them a grateful smile, appreciating their willingness to stay behind and look out for any potential trouble.

With a final wave, you climb into John's car along with Namjoon, Soyoon, San, and John himself, ready to return back to campus. The engine revs to life, and soon you’re turning the street corner, leaving the chaos of the frat party behind you. As the streetlights flicker past, you lean back in your seat, feeling a sense of relief and contentment wash over you. 

+++++++++++

“I’ll help take Y/N inside and then walk back home,” Namjoon tells John as he shuts the door of his car. “Alright, just text me when you make it back. Have a good night, guys.” John waves, exiting the parking lot in front of Hwasa’s dorm and disappearing in the distance. He dropped off Soyoon and San at their dorms across campus, so he is just headed back to his off-campus apartment. Before you swipe Hwasa’s student ID to enter her dorm, you suddenly feel your stomach churn with nausea. Maybe it was the ride back that made you queasy, or the fact that the only contents in your stomach were alcohol. Without warning, the urge to vomit hits you like a tidal wave, and you bolt towards a nearby bush, clutching your stomach in distress. Namjoon's eyebrows furrow in concern as he watches you rush away. He quickly follows, his footsteps echoing against the pavement as he reaches your side. Without hesitation, he holds your hair up to prevent the puke from sticking to it accidently.

You continue to retch, emptying the contents of your stomach into the bush, Namjoon stays by your side, offering silent support and comfort. His reassuring presence helps to calm your racing heartbeat, grounding you amid your discomfort.

“I-I…really hate throwing up so much,” you admit between gasps, your voice trembling with embarrassment.

“I know,” Namjoon replies softly, his tone understanding. “You should’ve been more cautious.”

You nod weakly, acknowledging his words even as you struggle to regain your composure.

“I know that,” you murmur, pushing yourself upright and wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “But I was upset...sad…needed something to take my mind off of the stuff with Yoongi and Jimin.” You swipe access and enter the building together.

“Yeah, how did all of that happen?”

“Well, it’s a long story…”

And you proceed to tell him everything that happened, from the night you first had sex with Yoongi all up until the fight that Jimin initiated at Friday Night Game Night two weeks ago. While you told him the story, you got changed, brushed your teeth, and drank some water to rehydrate you after the vomiting. He sat on your bed, watching you do each task and listening to you carefully. 

Once you’ve completed your routine, you join Namjoon on the bed, sinking into the soft mattress beside him.

“I think the answer is obvious, but we made that pact because we’ve been in love with you for a long time,” Namjoon begins, his voice soft as he gazes up at the twinkling string lights that adorn the room. “Sometime during junior year, we were at Yoongi’s house and just started talking about our feelings and didn’t know what to do.” He lays back against your pillows, sighing. “We didn’t want to ruin our friendship with you and we also didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Namjoon continues, his tone tinged with regret. “We didn’t think you’d like us back because you were occupied with other guys on your mind back then. So, at that time, we decided to agree that neither of us would pursue you and move on.”

“Except that Yoongi decided to say fuck it,” you interject with a wry smile, remembering the impulsive decision that changed everything.

Namjoon chuckles softly, shaking his head in amusement. “Yeah, we had tried to move on, though Yoongi probably couldn’t let you go, so he went for it. Can’t believe he did that, but I would’ve done the same if I were in his shoes.”

He turns to you, his expression earnest as he asks, "So, what are you going to do, Tiny? How are you planning to reconcile your friendship with them?"

You pause, feeling stress settle heavily on your shoulders once again. It’s a dilemma you’ve grappled with countless times, each solution more elusive than the last. "I still don't know," you admit, your voice tinged with uncertainty. "In an ideal world, I'd love to be with you and them, but is that even possible?"

Namjoon's eyes soften with understanding as he listens to your concerns. "That’s a thing, you know," he suggests tentatively. “It’s called being in a polycule together."

You gasp, the concept both surprising and intriguing. "A polycule?" you repeat, your mind racing with possibilities. "Do you think...could that really work?"

Namjoon nods thoughtfully, his gaze meeting yours with unwavering sincerity. "Maybe," he replies, his voice tinged with cautious optimism. "It's definitely something worth considering, but we'd all have to think about it more and talk it through together."

A polycule. You can’t deny how much you’d be down for the idea. The thought of being in a loving, supportive relationship with Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi is undeniably appealing. However, there are other things to consider, like the future of the relationship and how you could ever present this to your own families. No doubt your parents would get a heart attack. But maybe, you’d figure out how to make this work. You don’t have to publicly get married, maybe you could just frame it as being single forever with your other single best friends. It’d be like that article about the seven Chinese girlfriends buying a mansion to retire and die together. 

You move to straddle Namjoon’s lap excitedly, “I want to try that,” 

Namjoon's expression shifts from contemplative to surprised as you straddle his lap, the sudden change in proximity catching him off guard. He blinks, momentarily taken aback by your boldness, before a soft smile spreads across his lips.

You look at his beautiful deep brown dragon eyes, always so mesmerizing.Your heart flutters at the sight, reassured by the warmth in his gaze. You're acutely aware of the intimate closeness between you, the heat of his body seeping through the thin fabric of your clothes, igniting a flicker of desire deep within you.

For a moment, Namjoon doesn’t respond. He’s caught off guard, thinking about how cute you look being on top of him like this. When he doesn’t respond right away, you give him a puzzled look.

"You're only wearing underwear under your oversized Pokémon t-shirt?" He teases, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

“Huh?” Your cheeks redden, “Y-You could tell?”

“Yeah.” 

Your heart skips a beat as Namjoon's hand brushes against your cheek, sending a shiver down your spine. His touch is gentle yet electrifying.

Before you can fully comprehend what's happening, Namjoon pulls you down, your lips meet his in a kiss full of need and desire.

As your lips meld together in a tender embrace, the kiss deepens, becoming more passionate and intense. You feel the gentle pressure of Namjoon's lips parting, inviting you into his mouth. With a soft whimper of desire, you accept the invitation, allowing your tongue to dance against his.

He starts undressing you, from your t-shirt to your panties, eager to finally have you after all this time. Once you’re naked, you pull yourself back up and let him bask in the view of you. He’s awestruck by the sight of your perky breasts.

He takes a moment to admire your curves, his eyes lingering on the way your rounded hips fit perfectly into your waist. He traces the line of your belly button with his fingertips, marveling at the way your skin feels under his touch.

You watch him, enjoying the way he looks at you, and suddenly you're desperate for more. You reach down and cupping his face, pulling his lips to yours in a deep, passionate kiss.

Your fingers trail down his arms, tracing the muscles beneath his shirt, as his hands slide up your sides, grazing your ribs before moving up to cup your breasts. His touch feels divine, his fingers gently tugging at your nipples, sending shivers down your spine.

His lips travel down your neck, leaving a trail of warm, wet kisses as he goes. You can't help but moan softly, your head falling back in pleasure. He runs his tongue over the swell of your collarbone, and then moves downward, his lips leaving a hot, wet trail as he goes. He sucks gently on your nipples, his tongue flicking against the sensitive skin.

You arch your back, enjoying the sensation of his mouth on your body. You feel his hands slide down your belly, the warmth of his fingers tracing circles on your skin. He kisses his way down your stomach, his lips leaving warm, wet kisses in a trail that leads to your hips.

You can feel the anticipation building up inside you. Your breath catches in your throat as he reaches the top of your thighs, his fingers brushing against the sensitive skin. You're not sure what he's going to do next, and that's part of the thrill.

He looks up at you, his eyes filled with desire. He moves to remove his sweatpants, his shirt, and finally his boxer briefs.

You watch him, your eyes widening as he stands before you, completely naked. It's the first time you've seen him without clothes, and it's a sight that takes your breath away. He's been your best friend for so long, and now here he is, vulnerable and exposed in front of you.

His erection sticks up prominently, a testament to his arousal. He's bigger than you expected, and the sight of it makes your heart race and your breath catch in your throat.

Before you can think about it, you reach out and touch him, tentatively wrapping your fingers around his shaft. It feels warm and hard in your hand, and you can't help but marvel at how it's throbbing beneath your touch.

He moans softly, and you can tell that he's enjoying your touch. You run your thumb over the head of his penis, feeling the slit that moistens with pre-cum. It's an intimate moment, and you can’t believe this is the first time you’re able to touch him this way.

You stroke him gently, feeling his muscles tense and relax as you do. His hips move subtly, as though he's enjoying your touch. You're grateful for his trust in you, and for the connection that's brought you to this moment.

As you continue to stroke him, you feel his hand on your thigh, gently running his fingers up and down your leg. It's a small gesture, but it means the world to you. It's a sign that he's not only comfortable with where this is going, but that he's also enjoying himself.

He leans in close, his lips brushing against his ear. "I'm so glad we're doing this," he whispers. "I've wanted this for so long,

“And I'm so glad you're here with me."

You can't help but feel a surge of emotion welling up inside you. This wasn't just about having sex with Namjoon, but the long, slow burning affection you and Namjoon have likely had for one another. You nod, your cheeks flushed with a mix of arousal and affection.

He smiles warmly at you, his eyes filled with love and desire. "I know you're nervous, but don't worry," he reassures you. "We'll take it slow."

You nod, swallowing hard as you take a deep breath. This moment feels like something you've been dreaming about for years, and you're both nervous and excited all at once.

Namjoon's fingers trail up your inner thigh, and you can't help but moan softly as his touch sends a jolt of pleasure straight to your core. You reach down, and tentatively guide his hand towards your now soaked core, your legs parting slightly to allow him access.

He gently slides his fingers between your labia, feeling the dampness and heat that awaits him. You gasp as his fingers brush against your clitoris, sending sparks of pleasure coursing through your body.

"Is this okay?" He murmurs, his voice low and filled with concern. You nod, unable to speak past the desire now coursing through you. “Words, please baby girl.”

The nickname immediately catches you offguard but you don’t comment on it. Your horniness yet again clouding your ability to question things.

“Y-Yes!”

With this confirmation, his fingers slide inside you, two, then three, stretching you gently as he explores your depths. You can't help but moan loudly, your body arching into his touch.

"You feel so amazing inside," he whispers, his fingers moving in and out of you in a steady rhythm. You can't help but thrust your hips into his hand, desperate for more.

He leans down and kisses you deeply, his tongue exploring your mouth as his fingers continue to thrust inside of you. Your body is alive with sensation, every touch, every kiss, every thrust sending waves of pleasure through you.

As he continues to fuck you with his fingers, you can feel your orgasm building. It starts as a gentle tingle, then grows into a throbbing need that courses through your entire body.

"I'm going to come," you gasp, your voice shaking with desire. Namjoon grins, his eyes shining with need as he increases the pace of his fingers, his thumb rubbing your clit in circles.

"That's it, baby girl. Cum for me," he urges, his voice low and filled with lust.

Every thrust of his fingers and every circle of his thumb brings you closer to the edge, until finally, you can't take it anymore. The band unwinds and you start to squirm in place.

You lay there, breathing heavily, waiting for the high to go down. You feel somewhat embarassed that he just did this to you and saw you come. You can’t help but want him more of his touch. You want him inside you.

"Namjoon," you breathe, your voice rough with desire. "I want you to be inside me."

His eyes flash with desire, and he pulls his fingers out of you with a soft pop. He moves towards the bed, his erection leading the way.

"Are you sure?" he asks, his voice deep and filled with anticipation.

You nod, your heart racing as you watch him position himself at your entrance. You can feel his knees between your legs, and the heat of his body presses against yours.

"You can do it without the condom, I’m on BC." you whisper, your voice shaking with nerves and desire. “I-I’m ready.”

With one smooth motion, Namjoon pushes himself inside you. You gasp at the sensation. Holy fuck, he’s huge. Can you really fit him in you? You’ve never experienced someone this big. Namjoon senses your discomfort and is about to ask if he should stop, however, you wave him off.

“Please keep going, Joon.” Your body clenches around his erection as he continues, filling you completely to the brim.

"Fuck," he mutters, his eyes locked on yours. "This feels better than I imagined."

He places his hand right below your stomach, and you can see the switch in his demeanor become darker. He smirks at you. “I can even feel myself right here”

“H-Holy shit,” These are the only words you can let out as he starts to further dominate you.

“I’m going to start moving, okay baby?”

“Mhm.” Just nodding in agreement, you brace yourself for what is about to come. Namjoon's eyes never leave yours as he begins to move inside of you, his thrusts slow and deliberate at first before growing more forceful with each passing second. You cry out with each stroke, your nails digging into his back as he fills you completely.

Your hips start meeting his movements, your body craving the sensation of him inside of you. You moan loudly, your body arching into his touch.

His cock slides in and out of you, each thrust bringing a new wave of pleasure that leaves you breathless. You reach up, your hands gripping his shoulders as he continues to fuck you.

"Fuck, you feel so good," he growls, his voice filled with lust. "You're so tight."

As he plunges deeper into you, he leans down and captures your lips in a passionate kiss. His tongue dances with yours, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he fucks you harder and faster. You don’t want it to end, but you can feel the building tension within you again, the waves of pleasure threatening to overflow.

Every thrust brings you closer to the edge, and you know that you're not far from coming again. You arch your back, your hips moving in time with his thrusts.

"I'm going to cum," you gasp, your voice shaking with need. Namjoon groans, his eyes locked.

"Then cum for me, baby girl," he growls, his voice deep and filled with lust. He thrusts harder and faster into you, his body bucking against yours as he drives himself deeper into you.

Every thrust of his hips sends another wave of pleasure coursing through you. Your body is alive with sensation, every touch, every kiss, every thrust sending you higher and higher.

You can feel your orgasm building, pulsing through your core, and you know that this time it will be even more intense than before. Your body is on fire, every nerve ending alive with desire, and you can feel your climax reaching its peak.

"That's it," Namjoon mutters, his voice ragged with desire. "Cum for me, baby girl. Let me feel you come on my dick."

The words send you over the edge, and you scream his name as you come, your body convulsing around his dick.

"F-Fuck!" you scream, your voice echoing through the room. "Joonie!"

He feels your muscles clenching around him, and he knows that he can’t hold on much longer. He slams into you one last time, his own release building to a shuddering climax inside you.

"I'm cumming," he groans, his voice hoarse with passion. "Fuck, I'm cumming!"

As you both reach the peak of your orgasms, your bodies are shaking with the intensity of the pleasure. Breathing heavily. Sweating tremendously from the heat. Your nerves feel alive, and the overwhelming desire for him grows stronger. 

As the waves of aftershocks subsided, he pulls out of you gently, his cock glistening with your wetness. He breathes heavily, his eyes filled with laughter as he helps you clean up. It has been quite the experience, and you both know that this will probably become a regular part of your love life.

After cleaning up, he helps you into bed, spooning you from behind. You can feel that he was still hard under the sheets, and you giggle at his persistence.

"Joonie, you're still hard," you whisper, a smile on your face.

"I know, but I don't want to cum again just yet," he replies, his voice low and filled with desire. "I want to hold you like this for a while." He caresses your cheek gently.

You snuggle into his arms, your heart full of love for him. You drift off to sleep for a bit, before you wake up again wanting to do it again. This time, spending time pleasuring him. You suck his dick and deepthroat it, despite his worries. 

With this event, you know that your life will never be the same again. Namjoon has forever changed you, as well as Yoongi and Jimin and you couldn't be more grateful.

All that is left is figuring if you can make the polycule idea a reality.

Would it be insane if you’d try it? If you helped initiate the virginity race, then you could do this too. +++++++++++ [Extra POV]

Meanwhile, inside the house, chaos slowly dissipates as Soobin and Taehyun rush to tend to Yeonjun's bloody nose on the floor. Jungkook, guilt-ridden, is apologizing profusely for his friend's actions, his words tumbling out in a rush of remorse.

Beomgyu and Hueningkai, Yeonjun’s other close frat brothers, arrive on the scene. Beomgyu's laughter ringing through the air as he chides Yeonjun for his reckless behavior. 

"Man, you're lucky Namjoon didn't knock you into next week!" he jokes, though there's an edge of concern in his voice. “Can’t believe you thought it was fine to go up against a guy three times bigger than you!”

“Beomgyu, shut the fuck up. I don’t want to hear it.” Yeonjun groans as he holds a crumpled tissue paper to his nose waiting for the bleeding to stop.

Hueningkai turns to Jungkook, Taehyung and Hoseok, sighing, "Guys, your friend Namjoon needs to get out of here soon before the cops decide to show up from the commotion," he says, his tone urgent.

Hoseok nods in agreement. "He'll be out soon," he assures them. “They’re outside talking it out. If they don’t wrap it up in 15 minutes, I’m dragging his ass to John’s car or Jungkook’s.” 

“Yoooo, what the hell happened?” Soyoon chimes in with John and San trailing behind her. She looks at the sight in the living room all confused.

“The guy on the floor is Honey’s ex and Namjoon fought him because he was being an ass.” Jungkook summarizes, make the three nod in understanding.

“God, can you all shut up and stop talking about–” Yeonjun winces in pain, making Soobin panic.

Taehyun, his patience wearing thin, scolds Yeonjun sternly. "Well, what did you think was going to happen?" he chastises. "Jungkook told me Namjoon is in the gym five times a week, and all you do is shotgun beers and chase tri delts."

Taehyung chuckles at the remark, unable to resist the humor in the situation. "Yeah, you might want to rethink your strategy next time, buddy," he quips, though there's an underlying seriousness to his tone.

“I wanted to be friends with Y/N again.” Yeonjun slurs, his lips pouting out. “Can I have another drink?”

“But you see where that got you!” Soobin intervenes. "And no!” He firmly denies Yeonjun's request for another drink. "You've had enough drinks for one night, Jjun.” 

Yeonjun grumbles in protest, but Soobin's resolve is unwavering. With a supportive arm, he helps Yeonjun stand up, steadying him as they both rise. "I think you should go to bed," Soobin suggests softly, his tone gentle yet firm. "We'll handle slowly dispersing people out and tell them to go to another party."

Yeonjun nods. Beomgyu and Hueningkai step forward to offer their assistance. Beomgyu slings an arm around Yeonjun's shoulders, offering him a supportive grip, while Hueningkai moves to steady him from the other side.

"Let's get you to bed, man," Beomgyu says with a sympathetic smile, his tone reassuring.

Yeonjun leans on them for support, grateful for their presence as they navigate through the crowd. 

But as he stumbled along with his friends' support, Yeonjun couldn't ignore the nagging feeling of regret gnawing at him. Maybe he shouldn't have been so hostile, towards you or Namjoon. It wasn't fair to you at all. It wasn’t why he wanted to talk to you anyways

He couldn't shake the guilt that washed over him as he thought about your past together. He'd acted out of jealousy and hurt, hoping to reclaim a piece of something that was long gone. But now, faced with the consequences of his actions, he realized how foolish he'd been.

With this, he’s closing the door forever.

All he wanted was to crawl into bed and sleep off the alcohol-induced haze.

-

-

-

tbc !!!!! :D

a/n: 3 MORE CHAPTERS LEFT. we are getting closer and closer to the eventual polycule we might get... or not. this was probably the most exciting chapter to write because it was planned since LAST AUGUST. literally before any chapter of this series dropped. rae and i had been plotting the yeonjun v. namjoon fight since then and ironically yeonjun was in apartment 404 and filmed a fight scene. so thank me for manifesting yeonjun fighting lmao. it took me a little over a month to write because i had job interviews and rae was busy with life/school to edit as well so apologies on the delay, but it is here now. i will try to work on ch 10 and make sure it doesn't take to long, but i have to be job searching so it might take some time again. the goal is to finish this series before the anniversary in late august so we will see. would love to hear y'alls thoughts or theories on what will happen to our favorite quad and the rest of the house next chapter. thank you all for reading!

➸ let me know what you think OR join the taglist! ➸ love u lately series masterlist

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Guarded Desires: Part 7

Fandom: Star Wars - The Acolyte

Pairing: Padawan!Qimir x Princess!Reader

Summary: After an assassination attempt on your mother, she’s asked a favor from the Jedi Council to watch over you and your family until the assailant has been caught. As a result, your mother’s old friend, Master Vernestra, has her padawan, Qimir, be your bodyguard. Based off my imagine here.

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There was no going back now. You and Qimir kissed and now everything is all jumbled up.

It kept you up that night. His hands holding you, his lips against yours, the way he looked at you after. It was too much.

You toss and turn in your bed, trying to find a comfortable position. You think of anything and everything that doesn't relate to Qimir and yet your thoughts still lead back to him.

You sigh as you roll onto your back, staring at the ceiling of your temporary room. You grow annoyed at this guilt eating away at you. Yes, you feel guilty. Guilty for seeing Qimir in such a way. Guilty for causing him to break one of the biggest rules in being a Jedi. Guilty for, despite feeling guilty, you also don't regret kissing him.

It's all so messy.

You roll onto your stomach, burying your head into your pillow and screaming into it. You then hear a knock at your door and you shoot up in surprise.

You sit up, grabbing your robe, and wrapping yourself in it. You quietly rush to the door. It opens to reveal Qimir.

You gulp and immediately step back, "Qimir, wh-"

"Your thoughts are so loud," he murmurs, "I can hear you spiraling. I feel your restlessness."

You feel guilty again, "I'm sorry. I just-"

"Do you regret the kiss?"

You hesitate, but slowly shake your head, "No. I feel guilty for putting you in a difficult position, but...I don't regret the kiss."

He steps into your room, the door closing behind him, "You didn't put me in a difficult position. I was the one that asked for the kiss."

"Why are you here, Qimir?"

He looks down, avoiding your gaze, "Master Vernestra is sending me back to Coruscant."

Your heart drops, "What? Why?"

"She immediately sensed a change in me. She looked into my head, saw the kiss," Qimir's shoulders sag in defeat, "She's sending me away."

"When?"

"Tomorrow morning. A new Jedi will be assigned to you and-and I'll never see you again."

You go to your bed to sit down, your head in your hands, "I'm sorry. I never wanted this to happen!"

He sighs, walking over to you, "Princess-"

"My father warned me to remain professional with you. To stop trying to be your friend and distance myself, but I couldn't. I-There's just something about you that made me want to know you and keep you close."

Qimir kneels at your feet and reaches up, cupping your face, "I know what you mean. Ever since I first saw you, I felt a pull towards you. I tried my best to remember the Jedi code, but...I struggled. I fell for you, Y/N."

You felt tears welling up in your eyes, "I don't want you to go, but I also don't want you to get in trouble even more. Being a Jedi is all you ever wanted-"

"It was...until I met you."

You can't help but feel your heart beat faster at his words, "Qi-"

"Let's just stop talking about. Let's just enjoy this last night together. Please," his words sound desperate, broken, and pleading as he leans in to kiss you, but you lean back.

"Qimir, is that really a good idea? You're already in trouble-"

"Exactly. Why continue staying away when I'm already going to get punished anyway?" He senses your hesitation, "We don't even have to do anything. I just want to spend these last moments for you." He runs his thumbs over your cheek and you melt under his touch.

You crawl further onto your bed, laying on one side. You gesture for Qimir to follow you and he does. He lays down beside you and pulls you into his arms. You cup his face this time and lean in, pecking his lips. When you pull away, he chases after your lips. You can't help but giggle as he kisses you again, deeper this time.

You sigh when you pull away, "I wish we had more time," you whisper against his lips.

"I know. I do too," Qimir murmurs in reply, kissing your forehead and holding you tight. You two spend the rest of the night light that, holding each other, kissing each other, and pretending that this will be the last time you see each other again.

______________________________

"Qimir was called back to Coruscant, so Nira will be protecting you, Princess Y/N," Master Vernestra gestures to the young Jedi woman beside her.

You show no emotion as you nod, "Thank you, Master Vernestra,"

Your father made no effort to hide his delight of Qimir's absence, "Well, now you won't be as distracted, eh, starlight?" He nudges you with a jovial expression and you roll your hands into tight fists to keep yourself as composed as possible.

"Yes, father," you grit out. You take a slow deep breath and then ask Vernestra, "Have there been any updates about the suspects?"

The Jedi master nods, "Yes. We've found a majority of those who took part in the palace attack. I'm confident that one of them knows who is responsible for the assassination attempt on the queen."

"Does that mean we can go back home?" You're desperate to go back to living life a best you could. You need something to distract you from thinking about Qimir. You can only do so much at this Jedi temple.

Vernestra nods, "Yes, however, you should all still remain vigilant."

"Of course. We'll do whatever you think is best, Vernestra," your mother says.

The Jedi master excuses herself and Nira joins you. She gives you a polite smile and bows, "Your Highness."

You shake your head, "That's unnec-"

"She's showing you respect. Unlike the other Jedi-"

Your mother interrupts your father with a stern call of his name and hard look in her eyes. He scoffs and waves off your mother.

You're not sure why, but your father hasn't been as loving towards your mother like he used to be. He's changed in the recent years. He's become more uptight, uncaring, strict, and unloving to your family, but especially you. You're not sure if it's due to the rising conflict across the planet or the council breathing down his neck, but your father isn't the same man he was when you were growing up and it hurts. You're sure it's hurting your mother too. Your sisters, well, they never knew how your father was before, so you feel as though they are lucky to not witness the change. However, you are happy that they aren't subjected to the same treatment that you receive from him.

After you're excused, Nira follows you as you head to Aspen and Ada's temporary rooms, "I'd like to spend some time with my sisters."

"Of course, Your Majesty," Nira says as she walks behind you, never beside you like Qimir did.

When you enter the rooms, Ryker stands and bows, "Your Highness."

You give him a polite nod, "Are they behaving?" you ask with a smirk as you sit in-between them, both playing with their dolls.

"As best as they can be, Princess Y/N."

You chuckle and poke Ada's side and she giggles, "Stop, Y/N!"

Aspen tugs at your sleeve and you turn to her, "Yes, Pen?"

She leans in, whispering into your ear, "Who's the lady?"

"She's the Jedi that will be protecting me."

Ada's brows furrow in confusion, "What about Qimir?"

You look at her with a frown, "He had to go back to Coruscant, so Nira is his replacement."

"Why?" Aspen asks.

"He had to continue his training so he can be a Jedi Knight."

Ada asks, "But what about the wedding?"

You look at your younger sister with confusion written all over your face, "Ada, what are you talking about?"

Both Ada and Aspen sandwich you as they explain, "You said you like Qimir and Qimir likes you!"

"And you two were supposed to get married!"

Your eyes glance as Nira and Ryker as they watch you from the side of the room. They both have neutral expressions on their faces. You have no doubt they know why Qimir was sent away and you feel ashamed.

You clear your throat and interrupt your sisters' rambling, "Girls, girls. Please. Qimir and I...we're just friends. He-" you pause as your words get stuck in your throat. You clear your throat again, "He and I will never be married. He's going to be a Jedi and-and Jedi can't have those types of relationships."

The twins' shoulders slump in disappointment. Ada plays with the hem of your dress as she mumbles, "I was excited to wear a pretty dress for your wedding."

That makes you laugh. You kiss your precious sister's head, "Oh, sweetheart, you'll get your chance some time in the future. Just no any time soon, okay?"

[darkwaveho]

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Short Tempered

Pairings: Stoner!Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: A phone call leads Wanda to saying something she instantly regrets.

Warnings: 18+ Cursing, drug use/ drug mention/ angst, fluff, hurt comfort, brief smut

A/n: This has been in my drafts for so long I had to get rid of it, so enjoy the lil stoner baby and her inability to deal with emotions correctly.🙂😂

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You let yourself into Wanda's apartment, you love the fact that Wanda was so eager to gift you with your own key. You walk past the threshold expecting to find your girlfriend on the couch watching tv, smoking or running that creative brain of hers rapid. When you close the door, it was anything but the usual routine playing out in front of you as you watch your girlfriend pace back and forth on the phone with her voice raised and irritation clearly plastered on her face. Natasha catches your confused state as she nears you from the kitchen.

"Hey, Y/n." she gives you a small smile but there was a clear sense of new softness in her voice. "Nat, what's going on? Who's on the phone?" She glances at Wanda in the same moment went Wanda's frustrations reach their limits. "Yeah? well I don't need you! I don't need you for anything, I haven't for a whole year now!" Wanda was ready for more retaliation, but it never came the sounds of a disconnected call line flowed through her ear before she carelessly throws her phone and storms into her room shutting the door before you could attempt to console her. Natasha softly grabs your arm before you make a few steps towards your girlfriend's door, you don't know what's going on, but she's clearly upset, and you want to be there for her.

"I think you should give her a minute to cool off." You study her for a moment, she's not surprised by what just occurred. As if she could read your mind, she answers your question. "It's nothing new, but it has been a while since she's argued with her dad." Yes, her dad was a piece of shit in your opinion. The way he just cut her off financially just because she wouldn't let him hold some form of control over her was a disgusting move. You honestly couldn't wait to visit Wanda's parents on break, you're going to make sure you give him a piece of your mind. wherever Wanda lacks in the argument you'll be sure to pick up the weight and stand up for your girlfriend.

"Fuck, that makes a lot of sense now." Natasha sighs and tucks her hairs behind her ear. "Yeah, just give her a little space, this one was more intense than I've ever seen before." She rubs your shoulder and doesn't leave until you nod in agreement with her. Once Natasha leaves you can't help but to contemplate on knocking on Wanda's door. Your thoughts of doing the action go away when Wanda walks out of room fast on her heels searching for something, she barely greets you. In fact, she doesn't greet you at all, too enraged and focused on whatever was in the living room.

You follow after her cautiously, as you watch from the small distance and once you see what she was searching for you make your presence known more clearly. You sit on the couch beside her reaching around her and turning her face in your direction. You press your lips onto her which she oddly enough doesn't put much effort into like you hoped. When the small actions of kisses or lack thereof is done, she turns away from you and continues rolling her blunt with determination and much more effort than she did during the kiss.

You have a quick battle internally on if you should stop her and tell her to talk about what happened or just leave her alone all together, but you couldn't just let her keep those emotions bottled up inside of her. “Hey, baby, maybe you should chill on the blunt for a second.” you proceeded with caution, but it still didn't do any good with how fast she responded to you with animosity.

“I just got a lecture from him I don’t need one from you too…not right now.” Her voice and her hands shake from frustration. Frustration for briefly talking about a detail that happened on the phone and frustration for not having a steady hand right now while she was trying to roll and smoke her problems away.

“I was just saying- "

“Can you please just get off my damn back? You're smothering me!” She frantically expresses her frustration as she rubs her hands harshly against her face and storms into her room slamming the door in the process. You stand there in shock for a moment. You can’t believe what just happened and how quick things went left. To be fair Natasha did warn you about Wanda’s mood beforehand but that’s never stopped you from deescalating a situation. Especially since it was you asking her to lay off the weed for just a moment, she’s never really blown up at you before over something that seems so minuscule.

You won't stay where you're not wanted, you pick up your bag and place your key on the counter before leaving out of the door. Wanda finally calms down and realizes she went overboard and blew up at you instead of communicating to you in a healthy way. She feels bad, no she feels like shit. She felt worse when she opened her bedroom door to find her apartment empty. She thought for sure you were still here just on the couch or in the kitchen until she got herself together. hell, half of her thought you would've stormed into her bedroom and set her straight for speaking to you like that. "Shit." She releases a shuddered breath before running to the window, she wants to see if you're still within walking distance to catch up to you. So, she waits, so waits for you to come back to the apartment. You've been sleeping here for some time now and only going back to your dorm during RA room inspections. When waiting for you to return home to her fails, she immediately goes for her phone that now has a cracked screen from her previous outburst of frustration. Every call and text went unanswered and ignored before you finally put your phone on do not disturb.

---------

You go the rest of the day successfully avoiding Wanda, but you knew soon or later she'd find you with the hype about the football game, she knew you'd be there and sure enough as she arrived, she spotted you immediately on the bleachers sitting next to Darcy and Monica. She walks quickly along the side of the football field, her only focus is getting to you and fixing this misunderstanding. You were too engaged on the game happening in front of you to even see Wanda approach you, but Monica lightly taps your elbow and whisper near your ear. "Here comes Wanda." She leans back with a soft smile as you take a quick glance out the corner of your eye. Sure, enough you could spot your girlfriend a mile away, but you still don't acknowledge her as she sits down on the bench next to Darcy, she wants to push her out of the way to sit insanely closer to you.

"Hey, Wanda." Darcy smiles as Wanda greets her with a head nod and very brief eye contact before her eyes were on you again. Monica pops her head forward to greet Wanda as well and she's met with the same response. She didn't have anything against them she considered them as friends but right now you and the status of this relationship mattered more. "I've been calling and texting your phone princess." She has to lean forward so she's not speaking directly into Darcy's ear while Darcy has to pretend, she's not listening to the conversation. Its awkward speaking to you this way.

"Lewis, can you move?" Wanda was done being nice she needed to talk to you and apologize. Wanda doesn't want this to fester into something much bigger she's learned from her mistake the first time and she'd rather not experience that pain again. Darcy wasn't going to protest to that, but she wouldn't be moving away too far because she's just unapologetically nosy. Just as Darcy was about to stand up and sit somewhere else you harshly pull her back down to sit on the metal bench causing a few curious looks from Darcy's loud display of shock and pain. "Ouch, what the hell!" She holds her bottom soothing the stinging pain.

"I didn't tell you to move Darcy, I don't want to talk to her right now." You plead with Darcy to stand her ground and be a good friend to you. She sees that you're serious and obviously there was some tension between you and Wanda. She turns toward an annoyed Wanda and says she's not moving. Wanda tilts her head to the side slightly and narrows her eyes down on Darcy and that was enough to get her off the bench. Darcy sits on the other side next to Monica, who was being respectfully about the clear tension with you and Wanda. Wanda eagerly slides next to you sniffling in the process. You made note of her red nose and rosy cheeks. She only had on a thin zip-up hoodie as chilly as it was outside and she didn't have a hat on either, you don't make a remark about it like you normally would. It takes a moment for Wanda to speak up, how should she start the conversation off? It's easy to sit in mutual silence as the crowd cheers and boos around you both. She musters up the confidence to start the conversation with her taking accountability for her actions.

"I'm sorry." You keep your eyes on the field not giving her any form of eye contact while she's so close to you. You're still mad at her. The silence from you only made her more anxious she nervously fumbled with her jacket pocket and pulled out your key to her apartment. "You left this on the counter." She brings it your eye view not waiting to see if you'd grace her with your beautiful eyes again. You hum in acknowledgement and turn away from her completely. "I know." Now she was really worried, she thought you left it in the heat of the moment not on purpose. "W-what why would you leave it intentionally?" She has to raise her voice in volume as the crowd cheers again, this was probably not a good place to fix an argument. Wanda drops her hand and tightens her grip on the cold metal, it would surely make marks into her skin when she checks her hand later.

"I didn't think it was best for me to stay where I wasn't wanted, besides I'm just giving you what you asked for, I wouldn't want to smother you anymore than I have, right?" Instantly Wanda regrets what she said to you, it didn't come out the way she wanted it to, what she meant was that she wanted space to deal with her emotions on her own rather than being coddled and comforted, she wasn't used to it so it's only normal that she reacted that way, but she still won't excuse herself for it.

"Hey, I want you there. I always want you there hence why even made you a key in the first place." She swallows the tension in her throat and slides closer to you on the bleacher. "I didn't mean that Princess, smother me all you want. Preferably I'd want you to smother me with your thighs." She attempts at making light of the situation. It doesn't work. Especially not a horny joke right now. Her playful smile drops within an instant when she doesn't hear a giggle, or she doesn't see a lopsided smile on your face. Without word you stand up from the bleacher and walk past a tight crowd, Wanda hurries after you she catches up to you in the process and when you don't stop after her calling your name a few times she runs after you and the only thing you feel is her hands and your body being lifted up. "Put me down Wanda." She nears the side of the bleachers away from the crowd with you still in her arms.

"No, I'm sorry, I was just trying to lighten the mood I'm not trying to make you upset." You wiggle in her grasp and release a disapproving scoff. "Too late for that." She releases you slowly and until your feet are back on the ground and you press your back into the hard surface of the bleachers. "About what I said earlier, I didn't mean it like that." She pokes her lip out and fidgets with her rings silently waiting for you to say something as she gathers her thoughts. "I was just upset, and I took it out on you when you were just trying to help."

"Wan-" She cuts you off before you have the chance to say anything. "Don't breakup with me, please." She steps closer to you but still gives you enough space to not feel crowded. "You really think I would breakup with you because of this? Seriously?" Wanda's mouth hangs open. "I don't know, this is all still new to me, and you left your key and....I just don't want to stop being your girlfriend." The longer you stare at her the more you know you won't be able to stay mad at her any longer. "Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?" She has a small grin starting to creep out and you know you're a goner. "All adorable and doe eyed." Wanda gasps with fake annoyance. "I'm not adorable!" You chuckle for the first time today and it puts her at ease. "Yes, you are." Wanda doesn't fight back she only moves closer and buries her face in your neck. "So, since I'm so adorable, you forgive me then?"

"Well, I probably should've just let you cool off on your own, I just wanted to comfort you. So yes, I forgive you." Wanda surges forward to attach her lips to yours the kiss is rushed and sloppy, you love the desperation of it after being on the receiving end of the lack luster kiss earlier. Before things get too heated you gently pull away from her as she groans in disappointment. "Do you want to tell me what happened? it's okay if you're not ready to talk about it yet but I just wanted to ask." You bite your lip waiting anxiously for an answer and hoping you didn't push too hard again for another blow up.

There is a sense of hesitation in her eyes, and you were about to tell her it was okay, but she surprises you with actually opening up and being willingly to communicate with you. "The phone call was going surprisingly well a little too well I should've known he'd still be nagging me about the same thing, but the conversation took a turn. I finally thought we were in a good place so I told him about me entering the art showcase and how I would love it if he came to support. I wasn't even expecting him to praise me for my art or anything but just for him to be present during this big accomplishment." You wrap your arms around her waist and pull her into your arms, but you still remain silent only offering her comfort until she's done releasing all of these feelings and emotions.

"I just wanted him to come to my first big show. He didn't even want to come to my show, Y/n." "Is that asking for too much? even after he said he couldn't support me financially I found a way to secure myself on my own and it's still not enough. I'm not enough all he cares about is Pietro and his future track career." She releases a frustrated breath of air as tears well up in her eyes. "I love Pietro and I would never wish harm on him, but Sometimes I just wonder what would happen if he got injured and couldn't run track anymore. Would my father still treat him better than me or would he make Pietro fend for himself now that he can't do something they mutually liked."

"Hey, no, no its not asking too much, Wanda. in fact, is the bare minimum he should want to support you no matter what, and I'm sorry for saying it out loud but your father is a piece of shit. He's going to look stupid in the future when you're so successful doing something he tried so hard to keep you from pursuing." You take a brief pause, bringing your fingers up to her face and swiping away the fallen tears. "And when that day comes, I'll be there to remind him that he had no part in your success at all and that you did it all on your own, without his help and without his money." She studies your face; she needs a moment to actually believe in what you're saying to her right now. Her blank expression is soon transformed into a growing smile as she leans her forehead on yours. "I love you."

"I love you too." You snuggle your nose against hers softly as you pull her in for a kiss. Once again, the kiss picks up in momentum and her hands move on their own traveling down to the zipper of your jeans. "Do you." She cuts you off by the intrusion of her tongue. "Want to." she cuts you off again sucking on your tongue. "Go to the car?" She bites your lip and chuckles sinisterly as she leans back but not giving you too much space. "Nuh un." Was all she said before she's back on her mission into your pants. You shriek from the first contact of her ice-cold fingertips. "Your fingers are fucking freezing."

"That's why I'm trying to warm them up, princess." Her fingers move in slow languid motions, she's completely focused on you from the small breaths you take to the utter self-control you have to use in order to not be so loud, even though you doubt you could be louder than the rowdy and emotional people in the bleachers. Every time she spoke words of simple matter you couldn't ignore the sultry and hunger in her voice, as her warm breath fans over your ear you feel yourself nearing closer and closer to your climax.

"I'm sorry for being an asshole."

"You look so hot when you're mad at me."

"I wish everyone on that field could hear how hot you sound. I wish everyone could hear how good I make you feel." That did it, that had you eager to please her, eager to make her good.

She's distracted and entranced by you and how she's making you feel she doesn't feel your prying hands on her jeans, and she gasps in surprise when your cold fingers slither their way into her warm and wet cunt. "Fuck." She whispers softly, you focus on leaving your marks on her neck, she still continues fucking you with her talented fingers. you're both panting and clinging to each other against the cold metal surface. The cold weather no longer being an issue when your bodies are radiating so much heat and ecstasy. You never thought you'd end the night like this, bucking into each other's hands at the football game not even having the decency to go to the car. You didn't care though; you find yourself not caring a lot about consequences when it comes to public sex since you've been with Wanda.

"Fuck, add another finger, baby." You add another finger, and she picks up in speed and whines against your lips. She's been working you up longer than you have been doing to her. "You're my girlfriend, say it." her breathing grows shallower and quicker paced, she's close. "I'm your girlfriend." You smirk as you thrust your hand harder you didn't even bother tugging her jeans down further for better access. She has you repeat the words over and over until she gets the reassurance she was looking for. "Are you gonna cum with me?" Wanda just nods her head not bothering to say any verbal words, you think it's cute when you have her lost for words and too fucked out to speak. "Yeah?"

"Uh hun." Her face is flushed, and her skin is hot and sweaty.

"You know you make me feel so good." You lean your head to whisper in her ear adding a playful bite to her earlobe for extra effect. She releases a loud moan so loud you're certain someone heard it since the crowd has quieted down. The moment you slip your free hand under her hoodie and twist her nipple while you simultaneously hook your finger in the right spot, you know she's cumming with you. The way both of you clench around each other's fingers at the same time.

The sight of pleasure plastered on each other's faces at the same time, and the feeling of your warm juices leaking down one another's fingertips at the same time. Both of you having the same thought of sucking the juices off each other's fingers but Wanda takes her hand away before you can put them in your mouth and sucks on them mockingly in your face.

"Now that's just being greedy." You fold one arm across your chest. She releases both fingers with a pop sound and grins at you as the saliva glistens on her face. "Hm, I'm sorry Princessa, here you can have a taste." She pulls you forward and shoves her tongue in your mouth making sure that no spot within your mouth was left untouched and unclaimed. You both share a few soft kisses before pulling apart. Wanda apologies once more for her actions earlier. "Stop, it's okay. I was upset but I wasn't going to end things because of an argument Wands, we're okay." You wait for her to acknowledge that nothing is changing, and couples have arguments and disagreements sometimes. She nods her head once and holds your hand, rubbing her thumbs against your skin.

"Do you wanna go back and watch the game?" You look at her like she's grown another head, especially since you've missed half the game already. "Fuck no, let's go home." You kiss her cheek and finish fixing you clothes in a presentable manner. You had plans on watching her favorite shows with her and possibly a few more rounds. Wanda grins and doesn't really bother to properly fix her clothes. You place a hand on hers just as she gets ready to close her zipper. "Leave that open I might get hungry on the way home." You shoot her a wink and walk away towards the parking lot. "Holy shit, I fucking love you." As Wanda quickly catches up to you in the parking lot, she can't help but feel like this is the bright side of having a short temper paired with a loving and understanding girlfriend.

[archiveikemen]

『 Dark If 』 Story Event: Epilogue

Jude Jazza

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection. I do not own any of the original content. Please support CYBIRD by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

❥･• Warnings and FAQ

Note: This epilogue is a continuation of the Premium END story.

And so, Sleeping Beauty fell asleep for 100 years due to her curse.

She was awakened by a true love’s kiss from a prince, and they lived happily ever after. —

Kate: … I wasn’t kissed by a prince.

I muttered while recalling a passage from the original story of Sleeping Beauty I read back in England.

Ellis: What’s the matter?

Kate: Ah, it’s nothing, just… did my father or any soldiers try breaking into this castle while I was asleep?

Upon waking up, I was informed that my father had passed away while I was asleep.

His passing weighed on my heart for some time, because I felt that I was unfilial for not being there during his final days.

However, I was able to better cope with my feelings after paying a visit to his grave

Besides… I had to be considerate of Jude, who cursed me and took me away from my father, and was still hated and greatly feared 100 years later by the entire country.

(I don’t want to make him regret saving me.)

That was why I never asked for any details on the matter, but it suddenly started troubling me again lately.

Ellis: Ahh… come to think of it, I think I remember something like that happening.

Ellis: I drove them all away under Jude’s instructions.

Kate: What…?

Ellis: I did try my best to have them leave as unharmed as possible.

Ellis: But it seems that the ones who came while I was away were flayed by Jude and thrown out.

Ellis: Some of them were even left hanging outside for a while.

It was possible that all the princes who attempted to get to me were defeated by the fairy of the thorn castle and his assistant, the thorn.

(In order for this world to have a happy ending…)

(Perhaps someone from this world has to kiss me to wake me up from my sleep.)

“There is something missing in this world” — those words had been bothering me for a while.

(But…)

(If I have to kiss someone other than Jude… I'd rather this world remain twisted.)

Kate: … Thank you for protecting me.

Ellis: Nah, don’t mention it.

Jude: You haven’t paid for that service yet.

Kate: ! Welcome back, Jude.

My heart instantly started racing the moment I heard that voice.

I sprang up from the couch and ran to Jude.

Jude: You don't have to come sprinting towards me every single time. What are you, a dog?

Jude muttered dismissively and sat down on the couch.

It had been a few months since I woke up from my sleep, and I was still very much in love with him.

Kate: … I can’t help it when I miss you so much.

Jude: Yeah, yeah, how nice.

The way Jude treated me was as though I were a little girl.

(... I want him to see me as a grown woman.)

(Could it be that he thinks the difference between our mental ages is too big, because I was asleep for 100 years…?)

I still wore the collar he gave me back when we first met.

He told me that I could take it off whenever I wanted, because it wasn’t really something that could blow my head off.

But I found joy in the thought that this collar connected me to him in some way, so I couldn't bring myself to remove it.

…

— On nights when I had difficulty falling asleep, I would sneak into Jude’s study.

(These piles of books… they were all for finding a cure to my illness.)

While I did find Jude’s spiteful nature endearing, I yearned for him to look at me beyond my illness and as a person.

(I wonder if right now, Jude only sees me as nothing more than free labour and someone who’s repaying a debt they owe him.)

(I mean, of course I’m genuinely trying to be helpful towards him as I promised to and I’m more than happy to help, but…)

(I’m asking for too much, aren’t I? This just isn’t nearly enough for me.)

A suffocating feeling of hopelessness overwhelmed me.

(... This room smells like Jude.)

The love overflowing in my heart was making my body throb and heat up.

Kate: Jude…

I touched my lips.

(I don’t need a prince to kiss me. But…)

Kate: … Will you finally notice me… if we kiss?

Jude: I was just thinking it's admirable that you’re holed up in the study night after night to read…

Jude: What kind of dirty thoughts are you having, pervert?

Kate: …!?

I whipped my head around to see Jude leaning against the door with a mocking smile.

(Jude!? W-When did he come into the study…)

Kate: E-Erm, I was uhh…

Jude: What? Feeling frustrated?

His disgusted remark made my face turn bright red.

I bit my lip tightly in frustration, feeling as though I had just been chided for doing something indecent.

Kate: If you say so… then yes, I am.

Kate: But… it doesn’t mean that I want just anyone to think of me that way or touch me.

Jude narrowed his amethyst eyes and stared at me intently.

Jude: … You sound like you're saying that you’re horny for me.

Kate: … That’s exactly what I’m saying.

Even if it would make him dislike having me around or hate my entire being, I wanted to come clean about my feelings for him.

Kate: It bothers me that I’m only being thought of as a labourer working to repay a debt.

Jude: — Just a labourer?

He had remained unfazed until now, but upon hearing those words — Jude’s facial expression stiffened and his eyebrows twitched.

Jude: … You really don’t get it at all.

Kate: What…?

Jude hooked his long finger under my collar.

Kate: … ah…

His fingertip coming into contact with my skin sent a sweet tremble through my body that had been throbbing with need ever since he entered the room.

He pulled on the collar, bringing my face closer to his.

Jude: Do you think I’ll spend 100 years finding a cure to an incurable illness, just to save the life of someone I don’t see as anything more than labourer?

Jude: Are you looking down on me?

Kate: ah… ugh.

I felt a pain in my back as I was pressed against a bookshelf.

He let go of my collar and held my wrists together—

There was a soft touch on my neck, at the spot where the needle pierced me.

(Huh…?)

The moment I realised that it was Jude’s lips, my entire body started pulsating.

Kate: ah�� aah…

His teeth grazed on my skin and he bit down on it like he wanted to slowly instil the pain.

(Did Jude just… bite me…?)

I felt my body go numb and it was as if my legs were about to give way.

Jude pushed his leg in between my knees, preventing me from falling.

Jude: … Before you fell asleep, I said this to you.

Jude: I said that, because it's you, I would never let you die.

The gaze from his gleaming amethyst eyes staring down at me became harsh.

Jude: I must've phrased that wrong.

Jude: It’s precisely because it’s YOU, I didn't let you escape me just like that.

Kate: Jude…

I was so happy that I wanted him to touch me, kiss me, and look at me as soon as possible.

Jude looked down at me mockingly.

Jude: Oh, but I’m not going to kiss you or anything more than that.

Kate: … Why not?

Jude: You kept me waiting for 100 years — it’s not fair to me if I so easily give you what you want.

Jude: As much as possible, I’ll make you feel impatient, frustrated, and miserable.

Jude: Knowing how persistent you are, 100 years will be nothing, right?

Kate: — You’re awful…!

Jude: Hah… I could say the same thing about you.

It was miserable and painful, my body wouldn't stop throbbing.

The heat from craving for him like mad was messing with my thoughts.

(I don’t need a prince to kiss me.)

(Nor do I need a happy ending, or to return to my original world.)

Even if this bittersweet pain he gave me was making me feel miserable — to me, that was the best form of happiness.

[seangelfish]

It's alright if i request headcanons for Izumi and Arashi when they s/o feels neglected or ignored because they are busy on their job but she don't say anything until they find her crying for it? Please and thank you

Oooh, you just know how I can never say no to writing angst (to fluff)! Honestly, I can never see Arashi ever neglecting us, but Izumi is a whole different story lmao

When they neglect their s/o for their work

Featured characters: Arashi Narukami, Izumi Sena (separate)

Genres/types: headcanons (angst to fluff), established relationships

Word count: 1,224

Synopsis: Arashi and Izumi have been extremely busy lately, leaving you alone. You try to communicate to them on how you feel, but because of their tight schedules, they couldn't even send you a reply. You wonder how this is going to affect your relationship with them...

ARASHI NARUKAMI

– She told you beforehand that she was going to be busy. She even suggested that you two should keep in touch through video calls. You agreed with this as things went swell through the first few weeks of being separated.

– However, as time went by, she stopped calling you, apologising over text that she had a photoshoot or that she was too tired so she'll call you tomorrow. Though, when tomorrow struck, she was even more busy and had forgotten.

– You forgave her, of course. She's your girlfriend after all, and she's an idol of the big three top units in Ensemble Square. You had to understand that she was going to be busy and indulged in her work.

– But it was so annoying! The two of you planned to have a date this week, but she had to cancel it last minute!

"(Y/N), I'm so so sorry!" she exclaims on the phone. "I promise to make it up to you!"

"Arashi, this has happened way too often nowadays," you begin. "I can't keep–"

"(Y/N), love, I'm sorry, but my break's over. I have to go. Take care of yourself, okay? I love you, bye."

"...Bye."

– And as always, you forgive her.

– But despite your numerous attempts at communication, it seems that Arashi was just too busy to hear you out.

– And eventually, you stop trying.

– You two were becoming distant anyway.

– It seems as if she had forgotten your two year anniversary too. She hadn't called nor messaged you about it, causing your tears to spill as you wrap yourself in the blanket you two shared.

– When she finds you crying to yourself as she finally arrives home, she immediately regrets the way she treated you. She didn't realise it before since you have always kept up your positive facade, but she should've noticed how your smile was always so strained around her nowadays.

– She hugs you tight, soothing you that everything will go back to normal, and promising you that she'll do better as a partner.

"I'm so sorry, my love. You must've felt so lonely... I shouldn't have gotten ahead of myself on work, but I do want you to know that you were always on my mind."

– She wipes your tears and peppers your face with little kisses.

– And little did you know, she didn't forget your 2nd year anniversary as she fishes out a small gift box from her pocket, handing it to you delicately.

– You open it up to find a beautiful diamond necklace.

"Hehe, I saved up to get this for you, my love~!" she chirps happily. "Let me help you put it on!"

– And of course, she wasn't going to end the day there. She had planned a whole night for the two of you to enjoy!

– She helps you get ready, putting make-up on you, zipping up the dress she picked out for you. You can't help but laugh along with her, helping her with her make-up too, and zipping up the matching dress she was going to wear with you.

– Because after all, it's Arashi. She was never going to forget your anniversary, and most importantly, you.

IZUMI SENA

– Izumi is always hopping from one country to another, but he used to call you whenever he wasn't busy. He would ask you how you're doing and if you're eating well, and you'd ask him how he was holding up too.

– You always look forward to when he'd call you, and you were always so excited to see him return to Japan.

– But things weren't the same as it used to be. Calls between you two began to feel like a chore, and slowly but surely, they stopped altogether.

– You kept hoping that he'd call to wish you a good morning, a good night, whatever. You just wanted him to call.

– It was all wishful thinking though.

– Even when you try communicating these feelings to him, he'd brush it off with, '(Y/N), you know how busy I am. I can't call you everyday.'

– You understand that, but still...

– When he’s finally at home, you try to make the best of it. You tell him all about the plans that you came up with, so before he travel abroad again, you two would have already made some new memories together.

– However, he tells you how tired he is, so right now all he wants to do was rest.

– Your heart sinks right there.

"B-But Izumi, it'll be so much fun! Plus, we haven't gone on a date in a while–"

"(Y/N), please be quiet... I really don't have the energy right now."

– And so you leave him be.

– You just wanted to be with him, but it seemed like he didn't.

– You end up watching movies on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket, crying softly to yourself.

– Izumi felt bad for the response he gave you because he knows that you're right, that you two haven't gone on a date in a while, and that with him being gone most of the time, you were probably incredibly lonely.

– When he finds you crying to yourself, he immediately brings you into his embrace, spouting out heartfelt apologises.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)... I'm sorry, please don't cry... I knew how you must've felt with me being gone all the time, yet I still treated you horribly... I shouldn't have only thought about work and myself..."

— He wipes away your tears with his thumbs, kissing your forehead softly.

“So, what did you want to do? We can do all the activities you’ve planned today, but please let me spend some time with you here for a bit.”

— Cuddling with you on the couch, his grip on you was tight but loving. He holds your head gently, stroking your hair.

— It feels nice to be able to do this with him again.

— He also promises that he'll never neglect you again, but he assures you that one of the reasons why he keeps working is to keep you happy and live a peaceful life.

"But you said that you're not able to call me everyday..."

Izumi tenses up at this, remembering how harsh he was that day.

"(Y/N), I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," he said. "It's true that I am sometimes too busy to do that, but if you really do want me to call you everyday, I'll do so from now on. But just know, that you never leave my mind... not even for a second."

— You two fall asleep in each other's arms, but he wakes you up after a few minutes so the two of you can spend the day out properly.

— He smiles at you, hand in hand, telling you how much he loves you. He admits that he misses hanging out like this, and that the two of you should do it more often when he comes back from his trips.

"Oh, I nearly forgot. I brought you something from France. It reminded me of you. I hope you like it, my love."

— Despite his harsh personality and tight work schedules, he will always love you.

Intro page | Ensemble Stars masterlist | Rules

[theladycarpathia]

@hellcheeranniversaryweek Day Six - Third Date

“You look like you’re gonna puke,” Dustin says and Eddie resists the urge to thump him. 

“Isn’t this your third date with her?” Jonathan asks, playing with Eddie’s still incomplete Rubix cube. Eddie shrugs. He thinks that maybe it won’t matter if it’s third or thirtieth, he’ll always have butterflies when he knows he’s going to see her. 

“Yes,” he says shortly, fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. Jonathan shrugs. 

“Okay, so shouldn’t you be less nervous?” he points out, twisting a little in Eddie’s desk chair. 

“What I should be doesn’t really matter here,” Eddie gripes. He’s still half convinced that he’s going to fuck this up at some point. She’s perfect, she’s the best thing he could ever have dreamed of and when he inevitably makes a mess of it and she leaves, it’s going to crush him. 

“He really looks like he’s going to puke,” Dustin says bluntly, looking a little fascinated and horrified. “Is that normal?”

“No,” Steve says, without looking up. 

“You’ve had practice at this though,” Eddie retorts. Steve’s dated so much that he could probably write a manual about it but Eddie’s got maybe a paper napkin’s worth of experience. And he has even less on dating people like Chrissy Cunningham. 

He’s always liked Chrissy, even though he’d never admit it to himself. Even in middle school, she’d been amazing. Definitely not made for someone like him. But then high school was over and he ran into her outside the florists where she worked. 

And she agreed to a date. And a second. And a third. Which was kind of the problem. 

“Did he look this bad before the other dates?” Jonathan asks, abandoning the Rubix cube. He can’t have made it any worse than Eddie’s attempts at it. 

“He kind of looks worse,” Dustin says, scrutinizing Eddie carefully. Eddie looks down at his jeans and jacket, feeling mildly offended. 

“Face wise,” Dustin clarifies, prodding at Eddie’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer figurines. “Otherwise you look pretty good.”

“Thanks,” Eddie says and takes another look. He looks…a little not like himself. At least from waist to neck. His hair is the same mess, and the jeans and converses haven’t changed. But he’s taking her to a nice Italian place and he figures that he should look the part. 

“It’s just…” Eddie starts and then feels embarrassed. He shouldn’t be talking about this, especially not with them. Dustin’s a Goddamn child, for pete’s sake, Jonathan and Nancy have been dating for like six years and Steve is a little bit of a whore. They’re not going to understand. 

He’s had sex before, that’s the ridiculous thing. It’s not like he’s sixteen, with no idea of what to do. He’s twenty-two. He’s a fucking adult and his knees shouldn’t be shaking like this. 

“It’s our third date,” he explains and Dustin wrinkles his nose. 

“What has that got to do with anything?” he asks and Steve guffaws. 

“So that’s why you’re worried,” he says, from where he’s lounging on Eddie’s bed. Dustin twists anxiously between the two of them.

“What?” he demands and Eddie immediately regrets bringing it up. 

“Three dates,” Steve says, looking gleeful. Eddie’s…still not quite sure how they became friends. There are times when he can’t quite believe it either. “There’s a rule that you have sex after the third date.”

“I thought it was fourth,” Jonathan chimes in and Steve just rolls his eyes. 

“Either way,” he says, propping himself up on his elbows. “It’s not a strict rule. But a nice restaurant, third date…there’s no reason why it couldn’t happen tonight. Which is why Eddie looks like he’s going to hurl.”

“I just want everything to go well,” Eddie insists, even though the exact same thought had crossed his mind. They’ve kissed - polite pecks at the front door, when he’d dropped her off - but he’s aware that this is becoming something more serious. They text each other every day, they call each other every night and have done since their first date. And while their first date had been coffee and the second date had been a movie, tonight’s dinner and an evening walk definitely sets the stage for more. 

“Then don’t worry about it,” Steve says practically. “Trust me. The more you stress about it, the worse it will be. And she’ll pick up on it too.”

“Great,” Eddie says miserably. He has no idea how to calm down, even though he knows he’s putting too much pressure on himself. “I’d better go pick her up. Lock up when you leave and so help me, Henderson, if even one of those figurines is out of place when I get back.”

“What if you don’t come back?” Dustin asks, hands still wrapped around Giles. Dustin may envy Eddie's collection but they'd been his mom's from the nineties. He's not about to hand them over to Dustin so he can lose Giles' little sombrero.

“If I don’t come back tonight, you’ll have more time to make it to Mexico,” Eddie says bluntly, giving himself one last check in the mirror. He catches Steve’s smirk as he lets himself out of the door. 

But when he returns home the next morning, wearing the same clothes as the night before, every single figurine is still in place.

Because this is Hellcheer, honestly amazed they managed to wait until the third date they're down so bad for each other. I ran out of time to actually write the date. P.s. Chrissy was totally aware of the rule, kicked her roommate out for the night and wore her best underwear. Eddie never stood a chance.

[motions1ckness]

“His Assistant”

Summary: Roman accidentally sends a explicit message to Logan thinking it’s you, his assistant. (based off the 03x08 episode!)

Content: f!reader, intimacy, Logan Roy, fear of intimacy (ironic i know), humiliation, manipulation, implied age gap, mention of sexual harassment

Sure, a relationship with your boss isn’t your brightest idea, but you didn't regret it. Keeping your relationship with Roman a secret gave you a rush you couldn’t experience just once. Being his assistant isn’t as grueling as it seemed. Roman didn’t have a very strenuous job.

While following Roman to the conference room, he turned back “Actually, y/n, can you follow me real quick. I think my schedule is off,” he lied. We had to come up with fake scenarios often. Just in case anyone overheard.

You met his eyes and nodded. “Y-yea, whatever you say, boss.” You followed Roman to an empty room, which seemed secluded enough.

You closed the door behind you. Roman wasted no time attacking your neck with sloppy kisses, “Take off your shirt,” he breathed into your neck.

“What?” You slightly pulled away, just enough to meet his eyes. “Rome, we’re already late to this meeting. Your father-” he moved away with an agitated groan. You didn’t want the moment to end either, but you also didn’t want to be yelled at by Logan Roy.

“Yeah, okay. Whatever, yeah,” Roman started toward the door, signaling you to move out of the way. “If I convince them to trust Mattson, I get to fuck the shit out of you later,” he says, letting you walk outside first. You let out a small laugh rolling your eyes, knowing that day won’t come. Roman hasn't explicitly told you about his intimacy issues, but you two of been sneaking around for months, and the most you guys have done is dry-humping.

During the meeting that included 8 of you, Roman somehow convinced Logan to trust Mattson. He knocked on the table to show his excitement off to you, followed by a grin. You smiled back before standing up to get coffee.

Kerry started filtering other executives into the meeting after Logan gave her the clear. Roman's confidence had been elated since Logan decided to notice him. You were happy for him but feared when Logan chose to kick him aside again.

At the coffee cart, you sent Roman a flirty congratulations text, afraid a verbal message would cause someone to overhear. You put your phone in your pocket to pour yourself a cup. You felt Roman glance at you and then put his phone down.

Supposing nothing of it, you returned next to him, “Get a good look?” He whispered to you. The issue was you had no idea what he was talking about, and it showed on your face. Roman noticed his dad checking his phone soon after. He looked at his most recent messages and saw the text sent to his dad, not you.

He met Logan's eyes, which were staring at him intensely. “What happened?” you asked, feeling left in the dark. Roman didn’t respond and sank into his chair, feeling his whole world crumble around him. Logan told everyone he needed five while Shiv rushed after him. Roman remained silent, looking guilty as ever.

Not long after, Logan shouted for Roman down the hall, while Shiv pulled you to that exact secluded location from earlier. You were unaware of what occurred until Shiv tells you Roman sent a dick pic to Logan, mistaking it for you.

Your face turns flushed when she asks if you welcomed the photos or had any prior relationship. You knew admitting to hooking up with your boss could get you terminated or turn you into a cautionary tale, “No, uh, Roman and I’s relationship is strictly professional. He has some quirks, but we all do,” you tried to sell your lie with a half-assed smile. You understood Shiv was attempting to manipulate you and abuse your vulnerability.

The meeting adjourned, and Logan called you into the room with Roman for questioning. In all honesty, no one cared if you two were hooking up. Kerry and Logan were. It was more about the secrecy, and Roman sending a dick pic to his dad. You and Roman refuse to sit next to each other, causing you guys to sit at the opposite end of the desk, Logan at the head across from you two. You feared losing your job, while Roman feared losing his dad’s attention. The whole discussion was a shitshow; Roman defended himself with, “Why have an assistant I can’t fuck?”

At the end of it, before Logan told us to "Fuck off," you had to sign a release stating to report Roman if he continued anymore unsolicited messages. Before going your individual ways outside the Waystar building, Roman turned to you and kissed your head, “I knew I could make them sign off on GoJo,” he said with a smile. Discrediting the 20-minute lecture he just endured. Or the fact you two were supposed to be a secret. Both of your drivers arrived. Before going inside, Roman shouted, “Guess you have to see me tonight then,” with a dopey smile. You smiled back, rolling your eyes at his comment. You both went into your respective cars, knowing later that night, you two weren’t going to have sex.

[herpartnerintime]

why I believe bae never ends platonic and only ends romantic

I just need to express my feelings about how I believe Bae never ends platonic and always ends romantic. Ever since it was revealed in Double Exposure both endings will be in the game, fans have begun wondering if you'll get a choice for Max and Chloe to be a couple or not. This is likely because fans saw how you get the option to say we were friends or we were high school sweethearts on the Bay path.

A lot of people actually misunderstood this as Bae dialogue even though Safi asks about blue haired Chloe - we learn more in the gameplay where we discover Max is so secretive about her past Safi doesn't even know she's from Oregon and this happens after the establishing your ending convo, so it makes sense to me Max can half truth with her - she did fall in love with Chloe in high school. But how can she explain the week that never was? It makes sense to me she'd say something like "we were in love in high school, but it didn't work out' than say "we were in love in high school and I let her die" this way she gives Safi a half truth. But I feel like many misunderstand the 'we were friends' option in that, many believe like they did in the first game you can control if Max has feelings for Chloe or not, which translates to if they'll be a couple or not on Bae and why some feel a choice will be given if they are just friends or couple on bae. This has always been so frustrating for me as someone who has played the game so many times, so many times I have lost count, and has explored everything the game has to offer, including every journal entry it's possible for Max to write. And Max's feelings for Chloe exist no matter what. You can choose Warren for the date and not kiss Chloe on the dare, you can make all the choices that upset her, and it doesn't erase her feelings for Chloe. You can't erase how Max wished she kissed her. If you don't kiss Chloe..

I would have, but I didn't like being dared like it was some big deal. Maybe I am scared. Of what? I think I'm too young for marriage. And Chloe and I might kill each other. I've never been so glad to see Chloe in my life. The second I saw her blue hair and that beautiful pissed off face, I kind of regretted not kissing her when she double dared me. Maybe if she had double dog dared me... Max has feelings for Chloe and the truth of the first game is whether or not you make your Max brave enough to act on her feelings for Chloe. Kinda like how you choose if you're brave enough to make her come out of the closet for Chloe, you're also deciding if she's brave enough to act on the feelings she has for Chloe.

Chloe daring Max to kiss her was her attempt to see if Max felt the same way she was feeling, if the signals she was picking up Max was picking up too (such as moments like "Girls of course! Girls Oh La La, You look cute with your hair soaked in Chemicals" "You would know!") If Max doesn't kiss her on the dare, Chloe is left feeling like Max doesn't feel the same way - though she still lets Max know when they talk about dating and boys nobody is good enough for Max but HER and that Max would crush on Rachel too because she's smart, sexy and sassy like me. Max even has dreams of Chloe making fun of her breast size and calling her a little girl and making out with other people in front of her. Max writes at the end of her journal if you don't kiss dare Chloe Is that the power of love... or friendship? I believe you're about to find out, Max Caulfield. She's still questioning. Even as she tries to convince herself they are more 'family than couple' she still ends her journal wondering if they are more than friends. And here's the heartbreaking part. If you choose to let Chloe die, if you sacrifice her, Max, because she wasn't brave enough to act on her feelings DOESN'T kiss Chloe. She lets Chloe die and never expresses the feelings she had for her. And so they do just remain friends. Max has to make the move for that kiss because Chloe doesn't believe Max feels the same way, as she texts Warren if you don't kiss her. So you the player have to make Max brave enough. But when you choose to save Chloe on the cliff, Chloe says, "Max.... I'll always be with you." She's expressing her love in those words, you can hear the love in her voice, she understands the act of love Max just did by saving her, and so she promises Max always. And Max says forever. And this act of love in saving Chloe answers the question, 'Is that the power of love....or friendship?" It was the power of love. And so Max and Chloe realize how they feel even if previously they didn't know. I get very upset and angry when people try and claim this is a platonic ending if Max didn't kiss her on the dare. I see it on other platforms outside tumblr. It triggers me honestly, feels homophobic to try and say this ending can just be platonic and they spend their together forever as platonic besties. It feels like "gal paling' them, it feels like Sappho and Her Friending Max and Chloe. It feels like something people wouldn't do if they were a man and a woman, but do because they're both girls. Max and Chloe have feelings outside your control. Those feelings wouldn't disappear in their always and forever, and they wouldn't spend their forever together denying their feelings for each other either. The comics went the path of them taking a little more time to openly admit to their feelings but the feelings they had existed and couldn't be resisted any longer. So there's no way they spend ten years together in denial they love each other as more than friends. That's why I don't believe there will be a choice on Bae. Because Bae only ends romantic.