#shes not mean she just doesnt take any tomfoolery at all

[the-s1lly-corner]

I keep seeing “small but fiesty” “big but kind” NO. GIVE ME BIG AND MEAN‼️‼️‼️/j anyways could you do TADC x a reader who’s much larger then everyone else and pretty mean with it? Like Jax mean but just a squeeze nicer cuz they’re not a TOTAL jerk

TADC cast x big and mean reader!!! (not platonic nor romantic youre just mean!!!!!!!!!)

RAAAAAAAAAAH i meant to get to requests earlier buuuuuut i fell asleep and i needed to go make lunch for myself hisshiss (not complaining though, i made onion rings !! yipee!) probably gonna answer this an one or two more requests, though; admins been struck with some art motivation spoiler uhuh i made the reader MEAN, like sure jax is mean but hes like prankster-mean, reader is just mean

CAINE:

he probably tries to get you to chill out and include you in IHA so you know. dont become under stimulated and slowly lose your mind. because that would be bad. honestly i think it would take a lot for caine to be pushed away; he has a high tolerance for tomfoolery and nonsense i think, and as the ringmaster he feels a responsibility to keep everyone happy. and yes that includes you. honestly not really phased by your insults and such in fact i think he might be oblivious... or maybe he just ignores them and moves on. youre gonna have to do something REAL bad to get on caines bad side, i think

POMNI:

doesnt like to be around you, and likely avoids you when she can. i mean can you blame her? youre kind of a dickweed, and that can be unpleasant to be around. like with jax at least theres some humor with it so theres some kind of exchange. but youre just. kind of a mean person. plus youre big, and thats really intimidating when its paired with your personality. add in that shes already working through enough with being new to the circus as well as trying to find an exit... shes just got a lot on her mind and she needs to preserve herself, you know?

RAGATHA:

tries her best to be nice and polite with you, and honestly you can probably see her try to force herself to remain civil and kind. like if you look at her face or listen closely to her voice you can tell that you likely make her just a smidgen uncomfortable. she wont be rude to you, nor will she exclude you.... but i do think that at some point shes going to snap and lose her patience with you.... huh... an angry ragatha losing her cool... odd thought but like everyone else, this lady would also have her limits. does try to apologize afterwards, but is firm that you need to try to clean your act

JAX:

i think he would either target you because he finds it funny when you get all riled up and he gets a thrill from it; or he might try to pair up with you.... obviously, you mention in your ask that the reader is a smidge kinder than jax, but i think the real difference is the types of mean they are. call it a failed friendship or a rivalry, jax doesnt really vibe with you regardless... at least thats my personal take. though i do think he wouldnt try to pick many fights with you depending on how large you are in comparison to him; i mean jax strikes me at the type to bolt the second theres an implication of a fight coming, at least fights that include him

KINGER:

do not the old man :( will actually get sad, but i do think like ragatha he will still try to be kind and polite to you. might even try to find out what your problem is, and try to help you through it. maybe its the dad energy thats making me think like that but. you know? that said, when you so much as furrow your brow you can guarantee that kinger is going to slink away out of sight since he doesnt want to get caught up in whatever is about to happen, correctly assuming someone had made you upset. either that, or i can see your words going right over his head and not phasing him because hes too ooooooo to really try to connect any meaning and correlation.. both work, i think. really it depends on how hes doing on a given day, i think

ZOOBLE:

sometimes you guys shit talk some of the other circus member if they were being particularly annoying that day but thats kind of it. like zooble can be a bit mean but they arent... harsh without any real prompting. whereas, for the sake of filling space and introducing new ideas, you do. i dont think zooble would really vibe well with that... whats this? zooble calling out someone for being an asshole? not as unlikely as youd think, actually.. do i think they would try to stop you? i mean theyd probably tell you to knock it off, but outside of that they would just disconnect themselves from the conversation and walk off. on good days you guys can be somewhat friendly to one another, but on others zooble just cant be bothered with your bullshit. i mean they barely seem to tolerate jax, so i think this was able to be foreseen...

GANGLE:

oh you could be having a good day and say something slightly less mean than usual and you would still make gangle feel bad. you dont even have to try, gangle is just really sensitive. actually, tying this back to ragatha i think if she were to snap it would be on someones behalf... someone like, gangle perhaps? brain stew is brewing, admin is now hcing that ragatha and gangle have a sibling like bond

anyways moving on, i think she would try to avoid you when she can just because youre so... not nice, and even when youre being neutral you can be a little much; you know? factoring in the fact youre a giant compared to her frail body... not that she thinks you would strike her, no im not at all comfy writing physical stuff in my writing, but its like a voice in the back of her head; you know? you dont even have to be violent, just verbally aggressive, you know? though, considering jax seems to push her often (as seen in the pilot and her intro short) i think thats something in the back of her mind when interacting with a lot of people

sits

yk?

[yuukei-yikes]

What are your thoughts on whatever tf is going on between Kano and Shintaro post-str?

HEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEH OK LISTEN TO ME

kano is so in love with shintaro its embarrassing like ive reread the novels recently and girl.... hes down so bad its so embarrassing fgkjfdghjkfdghjhgnkjdhgkjdkj like post str shintaro has all this tomfoolery going on with ayano right. and kano...oh my god like.

kano finally got everything he wanted. everything he worked so hard for and acted kind of an ass for is here and now he's just like...left with all this self hatred and guilt bc hes like damn i shut out my siblings and dealed with all this myself and was a dick to this guy who wasnt even knowingly related to all this shit and i. got away with it? like i got everything i wanted? my sister is back? so he's just VERY depressed and feels so undeserving and guilty

everyone else is like in a relationship or whatever (im not a fan of when every single character has a love interest but damn kagepro does romance so fucking well has anyone ever noticed. anyways) and eventually before he realises it kano is living on his own and he's just generally so lost and without purpose and augh *dies* WAIT THIS WAS ABT KANOSHIN

sry i cant talk abt a ship if i dont talk a lil bit abt the characters themselves. like ok kano has All That going on and ON TOP OF IT.... HE LIKES HIS SISTER'S BOYFRIEND. THE SISTER HE'S BEEN TRYING SO HARD TO NOT LET GO OF ALL THIS TIME. THE SISTER HE'S SO INSANELY HAPPY TO HAVE BACK. so of course that makes him spiral down into guilt even more. shintaro and kano are sort of madeup too bc ok i know in the Good End we dont rly see moments like in the novels like kano coming clean abt clearing eyes or disguising himself as ayano but i like to think these moments happen at some point anyway. so going by this kano and shintaro ARE on good terms, shintaro has forgiven kano, he's all cute smiling to him and kanos like AUUUGHHH. and sort of. reverts back to being a little bit of a dick to him.

not super directly but sort of how he was at the beginning, acting how he acts with everyone but there's like a Vibe. shintaro notices and hes like damn i thought we were ok but ig its because im dating ayano and he's overprotective. and that's rly part of the reason too!! shintaros relationship with ayano is sososo messy so kano is so ANGRY because this asshole is out there making his sister cry!!! idiot bitch!!! BUT ALSO HE STILL LIKES HIM

i think when shintaro and ayano have Their Break kano and shintaro have a fucked up little thing that neither would qualify as a relationship bc both are busy hating themselves but like. they definitely kiss you know what i mean. that pic that's like we both have problems that making out won't solve but it can't make it any worse (except it does because this is so fucking messy KANO IS SHINTARO'S (EX AT THE TIME I DONT THINK HE'D CHEAT)GIRLFRIEND'S BROTHER. THAT SUCKS SO BAD FOR HER) also shintaros internal homophobia etc etc etc. lol a fucked up moment of shintaro practicing apologizing to ayano with kano disguising himself as her bc hey i need to practice while looking at her face. and its so messed up for them both. theyre the worst

when shintaro and ayano are back together he would tell her while kano would take it to his grave and augh it brings drama between ayano and kano which is exactly the last thing kano would ever want and hes so mad at shintaro. ayano isnt rly mad she's just surprised and worried for kano, because she doesnt rly see it as omg so fucked up my brother likes my bf she rather sees it like my brother is in pain and currently suffering from unrequited(?) love i need to help him!! and starts kind of helicoptering over kano and eventually kano has a breakdown etcetcetc i dont have an ending for this but these are basically my thoughts lol

ofc there's also shintaro just dates both and/or doesn't get back together with ayano... those are also good options that i like too heh

[beetrootbot]

Actor au? Actor au!

The actor for Yori doesn't look very friendly at all- she doesn't talk or smile much either, so its pretty jarring to see her face fall whenever the cameras are off! She's not actually as mean as she seems, she's very cooperative, she just looks really mad all that time outside of acting. She's an ex-boxer who's career ended prematurely due to her hemophobia. Despite this, she had amassed a fair few fans and ended up switching career paths into acting! God knows how she got casted for Yori though,,,

In order to look the part, she has to have scars done with makeup which can take a while, especially when more skin is showing. She also wears black contacts and gels her hair to better match Yori's appearance. She already has knuckle scars from being bad at boxing in her youth, so she doesn't need makeup for those C:

Because of her hemophobia, and the fact that Yori is almost exclusively around injuries in any given scene, whenever her face goes pale after "taking an injury" it's not just good acting, it's also the fact that the actor is desperately trying not to puke at the sight of fake blood. Fight scenes also come very natural to her, although she has had to be stopped from just DECKING a fellow actor in the face during the filming of certain scenes. Another unfortunate thing is that Yori never swears, but her actor does a LOT. Some of the only bloopers she has playing Yori are during intense moments where she just starts cursing

tldr: she looks like this off set

[bladekindeyewear]

Blogging the new hs^2 bonus side material!  I’ll be as light as possible on partial-screenshots and quotes from this except where it’s potentially plot-important, as you’re supposed to be a Patreon contributor to see it.

Thousands gather in the cold of the planet's capital for the most important event in Earth C's political history. JANE CROCKER is due to be sworn in as president.

Ahh, so some of the Bonus material is covering what’s happening in Meat Earth C--

One of the world's biggest celebrities sits behind the swearing-in, drunk as a skunk. The masses don't know this, but the two of them represent the only Creators left on their planet, abandoned by its makers to Crockerian rule.

--while the others are out on their trip?  Hot damn!

Does this mean ALL the human players left to chase down Prince Dirk except for Jake and Jane???

I knew Kanaya and Jade were part of the chase party, but didn’t know they brought Dave.  Did Karkat go, too?  Calliope???  It only says Creators, and if taken literally that only means the human ones?

This is all especially important because it means ROXY WENT ON THE TRIP YAAAAY MORE ROXY!!!  I will always take as much Roxy of any gender that we can get.  That and, you know, awake goddamn Jade.  WAKE THE FUCK UP JADE.

--Oh, also this means that the trip pals don’t plan on time traveling back to the point where they left, if/when they get back here.

Man, it hurt to type that “if”.

> ==>

Huh... Jake doesn’t SOUND that drunk.

Wait, is that Jake’s hair’s silhouette?  I thought it said he sits “behind” the swearing in, not in the crowd in front?

DIRK: (Hey. Is this seat taken?)

God damnit.  Brain Ghost Dirk can’t keep his fingers out from even THIS OTHER Jake’s day??

> ==>

--That old troll makes me feel uncomfortable somehow.  Not sure why.

> ==>

JAKE: (Surprised you didn't questionably jet off with your brain ghost daughter, too.) DIRK: (I don't think I have one of those.)

Oh huh.  I guess everyone is in the loop on what Prince Dirk did, though not necessarily the full import of it beyond the skeeviness.

> ==>

That troll smile is fucking uncomfortable.  And, yeah, Jake’s depicted as drunk here imageways, too.

Have I mentioned how much having these PANELS and all this soft art goes to soothing the impact of the horrible stuff that continues to happen?  Because it really does.  It really felt MUCH, much worse when it was all in serif text and nothing else to soften just how anguished everyone was looking and feeling.  Damn those epilogues...

JAKE: (Thats how you can tell youre not the real mccoy. Youre bothering to ask what i think.) DIRK: (I think you're very drunk. I'm not even real and I can smell the whiskey from here.)

Yeah, he’d have a hard time standing up to you this easily sober, you jackass.

> ==>

JAKE: (Im sure shes doing great. Shes got some good ideas you know.) JANE: I want to address this issue. JANE: I have no tolerance whatsoever for xenophobia. JANE: BUT, JAKE: (Oh goddammit i think i really messed up.)

Ppfpfffff. That’s pretty funny. ...How does Jake get SMARTER when he’s intoxicated??

(EDIT: sonntam points out, since I was too lazy to think about it: "you know how it is with Jake: deep inside he understands everything, but then willfully conceils that knowledge from himself because it means confronting uncomfortable truths. but when drunk the filters go away.")

JAKE: (I just hope theres some way to undo this damned mess that the you that doesnt live in my head got all of us into.)

Hmm... we might get some glimpses into BGD’s motivations, here.  Assuming this BGD and the other one aren’t two separate splinters with limited ability to share thought.

(Someone asked in my inbox why Brain Ghost Dirk shouldn’t be exactly the same as Prince Dirk if Prince Dirk is “all of himself”.  Think of a Venn Diagram that instead of two intersecting circles, is a tiny circle completely inside a giant circle:  Prince Dirk is accessing just about all of his “essence of self” across creation, but that goes mostly one way unless his other selves allow it, like the one who committed suicide in Candy to grant his other self more relevance did because he’d been onboard with the same plan from before the branching point.  Prince Dirk can pull from the rest of himself as an Ultimate Self, but Brain Ghost Dirk is still just a splinter.  Still a discrete self not necessarily sharing the mind of the rest of the whole.  Just like how we’ve had other “Ultimate Selves” who have gained access to their entire Heart, like RoboDave/Rose or Jasprosesprite^2, but their wills haven’t bled into their other separate selves and iterations. )

> ==>

Speaking of... Jasprose^2 I’m assuming, interrupting the ceremonies??  From the title and the colors involved here.  (This was the panel I glimpsed while I was browsing tumblr earlier, before I started read/blogging this bonus.)

Wait, if this is their doing-- hm.  Let me wait to confirm before going on that ramble:

> ==>

Pffff.  This newspaper... I’m not going to cap it all for those of you who haven’t paid into the bonus tier but there are so many gems.  The “Barack Obama Memorial White House” jesus christ Dave I KNOW that was your doing and it is BRILLIANT.

Hm, so that creepy asshole troll was the Vice Pres.  And he HAS to be an asshole since he was willing to run with the Xenophobe to give her a better license to power.  He’ll probably do some shit in her absence that Jake or other neglected non-Creator characters have to do some sideplot stuff to remedy.

And-- Oh!

That’s the last page so far.

Well.  There’s no confirmation that this for-sure WAS Jasprose’s doing, but if it WAS her...

Well, keep in mind that said Jasprose -- while capricious -- also has the knowledge and feelings of Rose Lalonde’s entire timeline-spanning essence and Heart... without Prince Dirk being at all close enough to delude or manipulate her mind the way he’s been doing to the PROPER Ultimate Rose.

Meaning Jasprose may very well know just how fucking hoodwinked her other self is, and has the power to REALLY fuck with Prince Dirk’s plans for Earth C in his absence.  Or at least make Jane’s presidency a little less catastrophic than Dirk was recklessly going to let it be.  Suck it, Dirk!

I’m predicting Jane will be put through some serious hijinks and tomfoolery.  With a boundary-less sprite uncomfortably flirting with her all the way.  Let’s hope this bonus story is planned to give us a bit more hope for the state of the Earth whoever survives this Dirkchase is going to, hopefully, come back to. As much hope as we want to have... in Candy, and here, Jake is right there to help solve the problem, but on the trip chasing Prince Dirk? They kind of left Hope behind...

[fmstevie]

              *    ╰              waddup   y’all   ruby’s   back   2   annoy   u   all   w   a   lil   british   fuckboi   action   .   here’s   stevie   ,   inspired   by   matty   healy   n   thinkin   she’s   a   god   among   men   .   i   don’t   recommend   u   read   on   but   in   case   u   do   i   pray   u   forgive   me   enough   2   want   plots   w   that   like   button   .   🤡

                new   york’s   very   own      𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐄   ‘   𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐘   ’   𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐄            was   spotted   on   broadway   street   in   doc   marten   smooth   leather   chelsea   boots      .   your   resemblance   to   diana   silvers   is   unreal   .   according   to   tmz   ,   you   just   had   your   twenty   -   second      birthday   bash   .   while   living   in   nyc   ,   you’ve   been   labeled   as   being         𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐬   ,   but   also   𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞   .   i   guess   being   a   cancer      explains   that   .   3   things   that   would   paint   a   better   picture   of   you   would   be      erudite   inclinations   informed   by   a   god   complex   ,      melodrama   as   your   magnum   opus   ,   &   the   world’s   most   secretive   love   life         .               (   i   had   a   secret   marriage   that   lasted   6   months   but   ended   due   to   my   fear   of   my   family’s   mafia   ties   getting   in   the   way   .         )      &      (   cis   female   &   she   /   her      )

𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆      :      stephanie   charlotte   greystone 𝒏𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔      :            primarily   stevie   ,   although   her   stage   name   is   ‘   grey   ‘   which   has   caught   on   as   a   go-to   nickname   .   takes   little   to   nothing   else   wilingly 𝒂𝒈𝒆      :            twenty   -   two 𝒛𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒄      :      cancer    𝒐𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏      :      professional   musician   with   a   voiceclaim   of   lorde   ,   on   temporary   hiatus   to   write   grey3   .   casual   photographer 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓      𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒕𝒚      /      𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒔      :      cis      female      /      she      her      hers 𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏      :      pansexual   w   strong   female   pref   but   tbh   if   u   can   handle   her   energy   she’ll   b   down   WKERWJER 𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕      :      5’10  🤤 𝒍𝒂𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒔      :      the   hedonist   ,         the      aesthete      ,      the      opaque   ,      the      vainglorious      ,      the      prodigy      ,      the      intangible   concept       𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒈      𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒔      :      rhiannon      -      fleetwood   mac      /      WHAT   U   CALL   THAT      -      chase   atlantic    /      iceberg      -      borns      /      UGH      -         the      1975     /      boss   bitch      -      doja   cat      /      elephant      -      tame   impala     /      black   hole   sun      -      soundgarden      /      black   madonna      -      cage   the   elephant      /         this   charming   man      -      the   smiths     /      swim      -      chase   atlantic      /      1999   WILDFIRE         -      brockhampton

tw      drug   mention

𝒊.  𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏.

there   is   perhaps   no   more   a   formidable   surname   in   the   organized   crime   circuit   in   all   of   europe   than   greystone   ,   a   name   risen   to   fame   through   countless   court   cases   and   highly   publicized   trials   .   dubbed   ‘   el   chapo   of   the   old   world   ,   ‘   liam   greystone   makes   his   reputation   known   as   a   ruthless   and   conniving   leader   of   a   million   dollar   cartel   business   ,   distributing   to   most   of   the   UK   and   eastern   europe   .   it’s   perhaps   an   even   greater   shock   to   find   even   as   public   enemy   #1   ,   he   takes   a   welsh   wife   by   the   name   of   marissa   and   weds   her   in   a   lavish   and   very   public   ceremony   ,   surmounting   crowds   not   unlike   those   of   the   royal   weddings   .   such   a   decision   is   a   clear   power   move   on   his   part   ,   flexing   the   pure   influence   it   would   require   to   have   such   a   public   family   life   with   no   fear   of   repercussion   from   rivals   or   enemies   .   

it’s   several   months   following   their   wedding   that   james   is   born   ,   with   nicholas   taking   a   few   years   after   .   elite   prep   schools   in   the   most   posh   london   neighborhoods   were   abuzz   with   equal   parts   curiosity   and   concern   to   be   sharing   streets   with   the   most   feared   mafia   family   in   their   whole   country   ,   though   the   elite   nature   of   liam’s   new   societal   presence   meant   he   took   to   his   ‘   dealings   ‘   with   a   but   more   subtlety   than   before   his   rise   to   power   .   something   of   a   media   frenzy   ,   it’s   the   talk   of   the   town   when   marissa   falls   pregnant   another   time   ,   nearly   a   decade   after   nicholas’s   birth   ,   this   time   with   a   baby   girl   ,   something   that’s   all   the   sun   and   mirror   can   seem   to   post   about   in   their   celebrity   tabloids   section   for   weeks   on   end   .   her   birth   raises   questions   of   immense   speculation   :   what   will   the   world   do   with   a   greystone   girl   ?

as   it   would   result   ,   they’d   worship   her   .   stevie   found   herself   raised   in   a   world   that   sought   her   out   at   every   turn   ,   cameras   pointed   towards   her   at   every   outing   .   james   and   nick   ,   now   teens   by   the   time   she   enters   primary   and   just   as   big   of   terrors   as   their   father   ,   view   their   lavish   lifestyle   as   the   result   of   some   bigger   destiny   for   greatness   ,   as   their   father   had   always   fed   to   them   ,   something   they   passed   on   to   their   baby   sister   who   took   it   as   her   mantra   .   one   of   the   earliest   manifestations   of   a   rather   intense   personality   ,   stevie   takes   this   to   an   extreme   ,   turning   her   unwanted   stardom   into   a   fuel   for   an   ever-increasing   god   complex   to   develop   .   the   apple   of   her   father’s   eye   and   every   bit   as   quick   ,   her   instructors   note   a   dedication   to   perfection   and   an   obsession   with   accomplishment   ,   along   with   a   natural   intelligence   that   leads   her   to   blast   through   her   studies   with   relative   ease   .   

she’s   just   16   when   she   completes   her   schooling   and   already   has   a   reputation   that   will   precede   her   ,   just   as   her   surname   had   before   .   relaxed   and   observant   ,   her   voice   never   peaks   higher   than   a   low   alto   with   her   charming   londoner   drawl   ,   a   facade   never   cracking   from   her   knowing   poker   face   .   there’s   something   about   being   so   above   everyone   (   even   if   it   is   a   self-imposed   superiority   )   that   leads   stevie   all   but   to   the   brink   of   isolation   ,   finding   solace   only   in   the   words   of   a   self-deluded   father   and   her   own   scribings   in   a   leather   bound   notebook   .   piano   lessons   since   early   childhood   lend   themselves   to   melodies   following   melodies   ,   and   before   she’s   even   able   to   legally   drink   ,   she’s   released   her   first   album   under   the   moniker   ‘   grey   ’   titling   it   pure   heroine   as   a   cheeky   nod   to   the   inevitable   accusations   of   it   being   her   family   ties   that   got   her   a   record   deal   .   but   as   streams   of   the   melancholy   tunes   begin   to   pick   up   fans   worldwide   ,   the   album’s   themes   of   isolation   ,   abandonment   ,   and   wasted   youth   hit   harder   than   ever   anticipated   from   the   youngest   greystone   .   she   leaves   home   to   tour   the   world   with   the   album   reaching   #1   in   countless   countries   ,   forging   her   own   path   with   a   maturity   beyond   her   years   and   a   vision   beyond   this   world   .   

    the   tour   ends   and   she’s   smitten   by   the   charm   of   new   york   ,   opting   to   move   to   continue   to   pursue   her   music   away   from   the   tangled   complications   of   family   life   in   england   .   barely   18   and   perhaps   intoxicated   with   the   loneliness   of   a   life   spent   in   the   watching   eye   of   others   ,   the   semblance   of   privacy   is   something   she   takes   to   like   an   addict   ,   exasperating   prying   paparazzi   with   her   notorious   refusal   to   comment   on   details   of   her   personal   life   .   she   builds   a   wall   between   herself   and   the   world   ,   keeping   out   prying   eyes   with   a   tight   -   lipped   grin   .   its   at   this   time   that   she   lets   the   first   person   into   her   life   perhaps   ever   ,   a   whirlwind   romance   so   intoxicating   it   results   in   a   courthouse   marriage   done   in   secret   .   never   to   be   seen   together   ,   never   a   word   spoken   to   anyone   else   ,   stevie   relishes   in   the   secret   which   is   soon   to   sour   upon   the   passing   of   their   honeymoon   phase   .   with   her   brothers   expanding   their   reach   into   the   US   for   their   unsavory   dealings   ,   it’s   not   long   after   her   marriage   begins   that   the   conflicts   reach   a   breaking   point   ,   an   annulment   following   barely   6   months   after   they   had   traded   ‘   i   do’s   .   ’

she   takes   to   the   studio   with   a   new   resentment   of   the   concept   of   love   and   even   more   sequestered   heart   ,   producing   melodrama   which   takes   the   world   by   storm   ,   snagging   her   a   grammy   win   for   album   of   the   year   .   fatigued   from   the   constant   go-around   of   keeping   her   secrets   her   own   except   for   when   they’re   taken   to   radio   streams   ,   she   does   a   limited   tour   for   melodrama   and   lands   herself   right   back   in   new   york   at   20   ,   putting   grey3   on   the   backburner   as   she   takes   to   all   the   hedonistic   engagements   she   had   indulged   herself   in   during   her   time   on   tour   .   she’s   kept   herself   busy   between   mindless   flings   and   days-long   benders   with   hobbies   such   as   photography   and   writing   ,   the   former   of   which   is   building   her   a   rather   impressive   reputation   in   the   arts   world   .   

𝒊𝒊.  𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 .

if   y’all   ain’t   tired   of   me   yet   god   bless   u   .   ..   .   bc   i   straight   up   b   tired   of   myself   :/

anyways   dis   is   stevie   ,   also   accepts   grey   the   same   way   ppl   talk   abt   lorde   n   switch   between   ella   n   lorde   !   she’s   not   picky   :~)

major   inspos   are   matty   healy   from   the   1975   n   hayley   kiyoko   if   she   was   less   of   a   try   hard   .   little   bit   of   kristen   stewart   in   there   ,   big   2016   ruby   rose   energy   n   brie   larson   top   me   tomfoolery   as   well   !   

basically   da   fuckboi   of   ur   dreams   ..      ..   .   lil   devilish   londoner   who   stays   thinkin   she’s   the   closest   thing   to   a   god   on   this   green   earth   !

notably   ,   she’s   incredibly   intelligent   and   profound   ,   tends   to   take   on   a   rather   patronizing   and   condescending   tone   bc   she   straight   up   b   thinkin   she’s   usually   the   smartest   person   in   the   room   (   how   annoying   )

so   laid   back   n   observant   ,   rlly   has   no   need   to   raise   her   voice   ever   bc   her   arguments   b   runnin   circles   around   ppl   !   imagine   the   way   harry   styles   talks   low   n   slow   n   calculated.   .   .   .   .   cameron   from   love   is   blind   ,.   ..   .      kristen   stewart   lowkey   sometimes   ..   ..   ..   das   grey   .    sexy   ass   alto   monotone  🤤🤤

i   dont   wanna   use   chaotic   bc   she   rlly   isnt   the   WILDEST   bitch   but   that   god   complex   means   she   deadass   thinks   she   can   get   away   w   what   she   wants   n   she   usually   does   ?   less   of   a   chaotic   evil   n   more   like   a   neutral   evil   lmao   she   can   follow   rules   just   fine   she   jsut   prefers   whatever   suits   her   better

on   that   note   —   OBSCENELY   self   obsessed   .   follows   her   own   natural   whims   n   impulses   bc   that’s   just   what   appeals   to   her   .   is   inclined   to   follow   rules   if   she   calculates   itll   work   in   her   favor   bc   she   also   doesn’t   like   to   look   sloppy   !

super   secretive   and   OBSESSED   w   her   presentation   .   every   movement   is   calculated   n   she   doesnt   want   anyone   seeing   a   side   of   her   that   she   hasn’t   designated   for   them   !   she   doesn’t   care   what   other   ppl   think   but   she   DOES   care   abt   what   she   sees   herself   doing   n   her   vision   .   doesnt   fit   the   vision   ?   will   NOT   happen   in   her   book   .

straight   up   a   WHORRE   lmao   she   likes   2   fill   the   void   left   by   a   lack   of   human   connection   w   sexual   intimacy   n   then   is   like   nice   imma   have   u   leave   now   love   LMAO   .   does   not   discriminate   and   is   rlly   inclined   to   follow   any   sexual   impulse

this   was   implied   but   her   relationships   are   super   messy   ?   does   the   leonardo   dicaprio   thing   where   she   will   never   fuckin   discuss   her   love   life   in   interviews   or   anything   so   ppl   just   gotta   SPECULATE   .   she   lets   ppl   post   all   they   want   abt   her   but   she   wont   say   a   WORD   abt   them   JWHEKJWH   her   socials   r   basically   just   abt   her   n   her   music   we   said   SELFISH   lads   .   she’s   bad   @   bein   tied   down   n   is   probs   polyamorous   as   it   stands   but   im   p   sure   she   has   cheated   on   every   single   person   she   has   ever   been   with   lmao

lowkey   a   shit   friend   most   of   the   time   lMAO   she   can   b   really   unreliable   bc   u   guys   can   have   plans   n   then   she   takes   someone   home   n   misses   yalls   plans   n   then   texts   u   4   hours   later   after   all   ur   missed   calls   n   is   like   my   bad   bruv   i   got   tied   up   AS   IF   THAT   FIXES   IT   KWEJKWJEKWE

chain   smoker   n   its   nastie   but   lowkey   sexy   somehow   :/  ,   will   ONLY   wear   outfits   that   r   equal   parts   thrifted   n   designer   ,   always   has   her   hands   in   her   pockets   n   if   her   jacket   has   a   hood   its   UP   like   a   big   ole   homo   ,   is   rlly   annoying   bc   shes   good   looking   n   KNOWS   it   so   she   uses   it   to   her   advantage   ,   wants   2   get   her   motorcycle   license   ,   judges   u   based   off   the   music   u   play   in   the   car   ,   judges   u   on   everything   tbh.

[thedoctorisadhd]

what's once on this island about?

i hope ur happy anon, bc this took me literally like six hours im not exaggerating even a little

short answer: so u take the original plot of the littlest mermaid and u plunk it down rIGHT in the middle of 1920s haiti, right

long answer (like, REALLY long answer. like REALLY long. im sorry i dont know how to summarize when there are so many good things):

“there is an island where rivers run deep…”

“where the sea, sparkling in the sun, earns it the name, ‘jewel of the antilles.’”

“an island where the poorest of peasants labor —”

“— and the wealthiest of the grand hommes lay.”

“two different worlds on one island!”

“the grand hommes, owners of the land and masters of their own fates.”

“and the peasants, eternally at the mercy of the wind and sea, would pray constantly to the gods.”

those are the four storytellers, beginning the play. lydia started the first line, then abby, then dori, then natalie, and repeat.

(oh yeah, also this is the jr version. also, i dont know everything bc i was backstage the majority of the time)

so the gods that the beach people / peasants are dancing to, theres 4 of them. asaka (played by lavanya in our production) is the goddess of the earth, erzulie (played by luke who’s closeted, so i change it to a god, erzulio) beautiful goddess of love. agwe (played by ian) is the god of the sea, and papa ge (eli, of course, and it’s literally pronounced papa gay), my personal favorite, is the sly demon of death

and this is all described in the first number “we dance”

stay tuned yo it gets better.

(its so good. dont ever listen to any version besides the chatham one i can guarantee you that any non-eli papa ge, any non-luke erzulie / erzulio, any non-lavanya asaka, any non-ian agwe, any non-lydia / dori / abby / natalie storyteller will not be as good)

so basically theres this storm, and in this storm is a little girl and the gods are like “no papa ge we’re not killing her you fuck” and they irresponsibly plunk her down in a tree

and so tonton julien (ben) and mama euralie (izzy) come along & are like “holy shit a kid” (and this girl is crying her eyes out of course bc as mr adam creatively put it to the girl who played young ti moune, “you were just dropped in a tree by some randos you’ve never seen before in your entire life”) but like theyre poor and dont have a lotta food and shit so they try to leave but the gods, showing some small modicum of responsibility, like, use the force to pull them back. so these peasants adopt ti moune and name her ti moune and theres a whole big number about her growing up called “one small girl” which i quite like actually

then ti moune is grown up (sammie) and she sings about like “whats my destiny yo” all naive in “waiting for life” and sees a car which is a big ol lead-in to the next number. which brings us to

so in the beginning of “rain” theres this HILARIOUS section of dialogue with the gods picking mangos and here it is bc i cant not include it man

asaka: 🎵 pick a mango! 🎵

agwe: 🎵 a juicy mango! 🎵

erizulie: 🎵 a lovely mango! 🎵

papa ge, being Himself: 🎶 a poison mango! 😈 🎶

[all of the other gods look at papa ge]

anyway, after that theyre all proposing things to do to get ti moune less naive, with such wonderful suggestions from these dumbasses as “splash her with a wave” and “scare her half to death”. and then erzulie is like “yeah u do that imma give her what she wants bye” and the other gods are like “????????????” and shes just like “You Heard Me” and just goes like “Love Can Conquer Anything!!!!!!! :)))))))) ❤️💞💕💚💛💙💜💝💘💗💖❣️” and papa ge is like “that’s bullshit this whole thing is bullshit that’s a scam fuck the love here’s like two reasons why” and they argue (and asaka remarks that this is “more amusing than mangos”) and the gods are all “HMMMM🤔🤔” and then they all go “A BET!”

and the gods all start like pitching in to set up this bet, so like erzulie gives her strength and asaka’s gonna guide her but then papa ge interrupts like “IM GONNA MAKE HER CHOOSE” and then johnny boy i mean ian i mean agwe then calls dibs on choosing the circumstances of the bet

and u remember that car right? well ian agwe is like “that. thats the place where the 2 worlds meet” and he creates a big ol storm and in the song he says (one of my favorite lines, actually) “rain makes the road such a dangerous place” (he did amazing in that song but i feel kinda bad bc like. he was overshadowed by the other gods who are all incredible singers, and parts of it were too low for him. like, eli can sing as high as he did, but ian really cant sing that low)

also they used the fish flags from the seussical two years ago when sammie’s sister sidne played the cat in the hat. i always found it hilarious that dori of all people they couldve chosen played a fish

ANYWAY. so the car is goin down the road and crash oh no a car accident. totally not what agwe was (shot)gunning for

and so ti moune pulls this guy outta the car right, and — by the way, now we’re in this super intense number called “pray” — and this song is real fuckin good alright.

my opinion upon this is based almost solely on the fact that within the first like ten lines of this epically long song a peasant, talking about the guy that got pulled outta the car (daniel, that’s his name), says, literally: “papa ge wants him!” i will remind you that papa ge is pronounced “papa gay” and what makes it even more astronomically fuckin funny is that both hank, the guy that played daniel, and eli, who as u may know played papa ge, are mlm.

anyway no one wants to help daniel even tho he’s Actively Dying bc Fuck The Grand Hommes, Am I Right Guys We Cant Do Anything Were Peasants And There Is Sanctity That We Must Never Talk To Look At Or Think About A Single Grand Homme, Ever™ but ti mounes gonna help him bc Fuck You Guys and she keeps him alive while tonton julien goes to find the guys family after she’s Finally persuaded the guy to do this

and ti moune doesnt sleep for Three Fucken Days by the way. thats important in the next number

also daniel is supposed to be good looking so of course ti moune Falls In Love With Him despite never having seen him before in her entire life, and also hes unconcious the Whole time. i dont understand the heterosexuals

anyway, tonton juliens at the gate to daniels family hotel and he’s like “pls let me in i need to speak to monsieur beausome!” and the gatekeepers like “get the fuck away my guy” and hes like “no but its urgent!!” and the gatekeeper SLAPS BEN [LAST NAME REDACTED]*

so ben i mean tonton recovers and like seriously gets down on his knees and begs and the gatekeeper is still like “FUCK! NO!” and then ben fucking [last name redacted]* SCREAMS SAVAGELY “I HAVE FOUND HIS SON!” HOO BOY

and then at the end of pray you hear a long high note and then one specific girl takes it HIGHER ????????? idk who it is for sure but im willing to put my money on lavanya bc jesus christ can that girl sing

*people always say bens full name when referring to him for some reason, so it’s not ben bc which ben? it’s not ben b. it’s ben [last name redacted].

so pray goes ge STRAIGHT into forever yours. not the reprise, thats later.

so. forever yours. in a STUNNING turn of events (sarcasm. absolutely the least stunning thing after the whole “papa gay wants him” in pray), the VERY fucking FIRST LINE IN THIS WHOLE FUCKING STUPID HEARTFELT SONG is literally ti moune saying “i am a tree, holding away the storm”. are you fucking serious. are you kidding me. you waste the first line on that monstrosity,

anyway basically what happens in this is ti moune is singing about tending to daniel here it is

i am a tree holding away the stormhere in my arms i’ll keep u safe and warmeven the gods wont dare to cross this linewhere my life is forever yoursand you are mine

and on that last word, “mine”, papa ge joins in and it is fuckin CHILLING, not LEAST bc eli has the voice of a fuckin angel (and sammie too, but i think eli’s is just slightly better)

so eli stalks in and the first thing papa ge does, in a True demonstration of the gay / ge agenda, is Drag The Het.

(then he goes on to say “this boy is mine”)

so eli’s also got a knife (a fake one) and this is another Important Thing so yeah

anyway sammie ti moune should “TAKE MINE FOR HIS.” (her life she meant) and papa ge is SHOOK. he just … stops. “wot”

so yeah. ti moune, in one of The most IMPRESSIVE displays of heterosexual tomfoolery and ridiculousness i have Yet Seen (scene), trades her life for this Complete Fuckin Stranger she pulled out of the car wreck whomst has not as of yet spoken a Single word to her bc HE’S BEEN UNCONSCIOUS THE WHOLE TIME!?

and heres another good line, the first gay daddy nico diangelo himself eli papa gay papa ge has had since “wot”: i am the road / leading to no return

(and this is also where eli goes REALLY high. like not for basically everyone else, but for him)

then daniels two dads apparently, grant and hugh, pick him up and take him back to the hotel and ti moune is like “NOOOOOOO” and makes mama and tonton let her leave to go find daniel, and frankly i am not very interested in this specific part of the song so fuck that i skipped it lmao lets get to lavanyas fuckin SOLO

alright. “mama will provide”. exactly what it says on the tin, taking it into account that asaka would be mother earth i guess

really all this one is is lavanya’s fuckin angelic voice and What Exists In Nature, and i cant very well put lavanya’s voice down on the page for yinz to hear can i? the only notable thing i can really think of besides this next piece a dialogue  will share w u is in the beginning theres a bunch of ensemble doing weird repeating acapella and some hopping in like frogs. “COO COO coo coo cOO COO COOO” “SHAH shaSHA-ah” “buuuuu BUM! BUM! bum” its sounds slightly weirder than it is

anyway here’s the best dialogue:

everyone: MOSQUITOS??

asaka: HA!

ACT TWO HERE WE FUCKIN GO ALRIGHT

ok, so ti moune finds daniel who doesnt know who she is bc, you know, he was unconscious the entire time. she gets him to know she was the one who nursed him tho. and they go to the front of the stage and ti moune sits and daniel puts his head on her lap. again, poor hank

now, “human heart”. jesus. i have literally cried over this song.

so erzulie goes out on stage to where hank is slowly suffering, probably, and sings this GODS DAMN BEAUTIFUL SONG about like, love n shit i guess. the storytellers and the other three gods act as a sort of choir. that’s pretty much all there is to say about human heart tho. moving on

ok so for “pray (reprise)” the gossipers (which are apparently supposed to be the storytellers, but fuck that thats lame, give my Cool Hoes lianna and taylor parts tbh) go out on stage and sing about how daniel is spending all his time w a peasant and shes a witch and yadda yadda yadda. and then theres some lame romance shit that i dont have fuckin time for

anyway, the song culminates with daniel’s father comin out on stage (lmao). which father, u ask? he had two of em? well that was grant and hugh, this one’s iain. conclusion: daniel has three polyamorous gay dads. this is the gayest production of a play ive ever seen. i mean papa ge? “papa ge wants him”? the fact that tonton means uncle so mama euralie and tonton julien arent married? “this boy is mine” coming from daddy gay himself? the fact that daniels last name means beautiful man? the “beautiful god of love” (as luke said, refusing to misgender himself in his introduction U GO LUKE)? the fact that out of the main cast (the 4 gods, the 4 storytellers, daniel, ti moune, andrea, mama euralie, and tonton julien) there are literally eight (8) actors who Arent straight (id bet that two others arent str8 and or / cis as well but im not sure)? just change daniel to danielle and itll be perfect

ayway daniel’s 3rd dad comes out on stage and tells him to stop this nonsense, young man ANYWAY NEXT SONG

in “some girls” the rich guys at the hotel all are doing a really lame colorless boring dance. then this girl andrea (ava) comes out and sings about the rumors about ti moune, that she’s stupid or wild, and daniel tells her to stop, then ti moune arrives and andrea really condescendingly asks her to dance for everyone and daniel encourages ti moune

so ti moune does a slow lame dance and then it gets loud and wild and fun! then when she’s done andrea goes to daniel and is like “she’s in love with you you oblivious fuck if you care at all you’ll tell her —” (unclear about what he’s caring about) and andrea is interrupted by ti moune who’s like “HI I HEARD MY NAME WHATCHA WANT ANDREA” and daniel goes and breaks her fuckin heart right

how he does this is he’s like “oops sorry i thought u would realize that we could never marry bc andrea and i are already engaged (since we were babies)”. daniel demonstrates an amazing amount of calmness about being forced to marry this girl he’s known all his life, and an incredible amount of insensitiveness bc TI MOUNE WAS NEVER FUCKIN TOLD THAT HE WAS ENGAGED. honestly i loathe literally every single character in this play except for the gods and the storytellers lmao

OK NOW FOR MY FAVORITE FUCKIN ONE WOW :~)

the reprise of forever mine.

so. ti moune is alone on stage and she goes like “gods please are u listening help me” and then. u hear. eli’s fucking amazing evil laugh and the gay himself appears

and he’s like u gotta keep ur promise ti moune im here to collect on that Soul

did i mention elis voice is beautiful? no i dont care, im sayin it again, eli [last name redacted] has the voice of an angel

anyway he’s like “u gave him ur soul, now u have to PAY” (the line he used here is “i am the price you’ll pay” and that sounds cool as shit)

and so “father homosexual,” as he was dubbed by luke, takes out his knife and sings “your life is forever mine” and holds the knife to ti mounes neck and ti moune yells “PLEASE DONT” and and and

he stops.

“trade your life for his.”

so papa ge gives her the knife and tells her to go stab daniel and he sings “i am the road that leads to no return” as he walks to the left side of the stage, and erzulie appears at the right side and sings human heart as papa ge continues with his verse from the first forever mine as ti moune struggles towards and away from daniel, straining, being pulled by opposite forces, love and death, and the two unite in singing “forever mine!” and ti moune casts the knife to the floor and screams “NO!”

and the music stops

and daniel sees the knife and picks it up

and says “why?!”

(fuckin bitch shoulda stabbed him when she had the chance)

and ti moune gets cast out and like, withers away at the gate neither eating nor sleeping, and then daniel comes to the gate with andrea at his wedding and sees ti moune and gives her a coin when she runs after him, and she collapses and the gods, sOMEHOW GAINING SOME MINISCULE VIEW OF THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR FUCKIN ACTIONS, all start CRYING. (erzulie won the bet) and erzulie hugs ti moune and papa ges probably off somewhere feeling sorry for himself bc you cant fuckin see him in the footage (nah, he’s off at the side of the stage with the other two gods neither of whomst you can see either), and mama euralie comes to sing this sad and pretty number “part of us” and then tonton and baby ti moune arrive as well for some fuckin reason,

and mama euralie says,

“and then the gods blessed her and turned her into —”

and then the gods hit their staffs on the floor (ian a bit gentlier bc his was falling apart bc he wouldnt stop fucking licking the fucking ribbons, ian) “a tree!”

and the tree comes up, forwards this time thankfully (phew) and and the tree fuckin cracks the walls of the hotel, get rekt scrubs, and the tree fuckin stalks daniel i guess, and daniels son sits by the tree and looks up and theres a peasant girl in its branches, and ti moune touches everyones hearts and also their livers, and everyone starts singing “why we tell the story”

also, fun story real quick, ive never actually seen eli dab i dont think (that’s something i need to accomplish real soon), and the dance he went off to the side and did with like, lydia, and agwe and ben [last name redacted] and daniels son and hugh — i guess all the boys in musical theater and also lydia, and the dance they have to do looks pretty damn like dabbing, and like, eli’s holding his staff so he cant do a true dab, really, but he can do a one armed one — but no. his dancing looks more like fuckin waving. ben [last name redacted] is dabbing, daniels son is dabbing, im like 80 percent sure ian’s dabbing directly behind eli, gloria’s dabbing in the back, but no, nOT ELI. im pretty sure he’s deliberately avoiding it smh

anyway

whOOP exciting parts over. now it’s time for Sad Half Circle Around Tree Girl i guess

“the stories that we weave,” and the storytellers and daniel’s son and the peasant girl in tree moune’s branches all come to the front and —

“there is an island where rivers run deep…”

[irregodless]

so snake is still alive

it goes to great lengths to remind us that we CANNOT SEE HIS FACE OR TELL WHO IT IS ON THE BODY

the ninth mans bracelet fell off of him and was just lying on the floor and as he regularly does, seven left the door openable

which means that the face of the bracelet is most likely shattered because it would display a 9 if that werent the case

all hed have to do is put his clothes on another body (possibly the ninth mans?) and slip away

but i cant qutie figure out how he could have gone in there

if you go by the murder theory it only seems possible to work out if santa and lotus worked together on it. which doesnt seem entirely IMPOSSIBLE but perhaps unlikely

but its also pretty clear that snake got the ninth man killed i mean it isnt hard to figure out the “HIM” who got him killed was the one who had all the informations about reds deads and doors. i mean its already hella suspect that he has that information so it would only make sense for him to thereby use it to orchestrate an escape with some people straight from the getgo

which he then clearly would have used to set the stage for faking his murder

his sister clover was also involved in that situation which is interesting

now going by the submarine ending which is the first one i got and so far only one

junpei notes that lotus’s bracelet is missing but no one elses

the list of possible combinations for him to get to the nine door (which i mean why bother when theres a submarine unless the nine door is on the submarine) are:

(2+8=10=1) 2+8+5+3=18=9 2+8+4+7+5+1=27=9 2+8+6+7+4=27=9(i gave up here after having to do this for the second time after substituting 2+8 for just 1 and assuming that would work. it doesnt.)

barring any additional tomfoolery or MATHS. it couldnt possibly include the ninth bracelet because it no longer works (probably, and is indisposed if nothing else) (also youd think the least amount of bracelets possible the more preferable)

the only body of the four found dead investigated was clovers. by seven. he said clover wasnt breathing. clover could either be an actress (thus working with her brother to escape) or seven was lying or both. after all if seven was complicit in setting up the body (hed be able to carry it rather easily through the doors HE propped open) that means he and clover would have opened the three door to let snake actually that math doesnt work i hate this game for tricking me to do math nor do i feel like considering further combinations

im. gah i got sidetracked.

ANYWAY: snake seems confirmed to be involved. i mean. snake in the grass, obviously? lotus is involved because only her bracelet is missing. junpei is killed for seemingly no other reason (than being allowed to traverse freely) which makes me ASSUME they needed his bracelet (do they even still work after theyre unlocked? if not then like why take lotus’s? and if clover really can reduce her heartbeat to 0 then why bother with the process at all...)

but then why also were santa “clover” ace and akane and like one other person i think attacked? why didnt akane say anything to him? i dont trust her to begin with

unless the fact that lotus’s bracelet being off just meant she really was dead/stopped her heart? as in they instantly just POP off? which would make seven having his more suspicious?

but it seems most likely that

akane/june and/or clover attacked everyone for snake then crawled off and pretended to die seven killed lotus while they were on the other side and played dead then snake comes out, having recruited june and seven for the escape plan and fuck off

its possible killing junpei or ace was necessary because theyre so particularly virtuous. and lotus because she would NOT keep her mouth shut if she heard about an alliance that threatened everyone. shed make a counter alliance to attack them (i mean the concept of june betraying junpei isnt that big of a shock to me. theyd only known each other in ELEMENTARY school. thatd be like me dying for some kid i knew in first grade and never spoke to again. i dont trust june. i also dont trust clover but for different reasons)

so basically what im sayin is:

i aint got shit what the fuck is a nonary game imma die