#shes getting renewed forever idk what to tell u

[ladysophiebeckett]

the only problem is that i dont have a 5th season to immediately watch rn.

[thegraystreaks]

i just read your fics on ao3 and they were so good, i love missing moments from canon! Idk if you ever take prompts but if you do i would really love to read a different way for percabeth to get together in canon?

anon, the way you got me to write something for the first time in ages….

anyway this is super self indulgent but I had a lot of fun writing it!! thank u for your kinds words I would die for you probably!!

this takes place during botl, the day Percy comes back from Ogygia, sometime after Annabeth storms out of the Big House.

-

“Annabeth glared at me. You are the single most annoying person I’ve ever met!” And she stormed out of the room.

I stared at the doorway. I felt like hitting something. “So much for being the bravest friend she’s ever had.”

-

He finds Annabeth in the arena. It’s empty save for her — everyone knows by now that sparring with her while she’s like this never leads to anything good. So she’s taking on a dummy, her anger apparent in the rigid lines of her body, fury in the force behind her blows. She rolls and kicks, dodging imaginary attacks, and Percy could swear that the air is thick, charged, like the feeling before a thunderstorm. Which is stupid — it’s camp, and the magical borders keep the sky cloudless as always. 

As he approaches, the only acknowledgement of his presence is her intensified rage, the way her blade slashes and hacks with renewed vigor. They’re gonna need to replace that dummy, he thinks.

“Can we talk?”

She wheels to face him, thunder in her eyes. For a moment, he’s scared he’ll need to pull out Riptide. She turns to the dummy one last time and stabs it straight through the heart. “You wanna talk? Then go ahead.”

He swallows nervously. Now that he’s got her attention, he doesn’t quite know where to start. His mind flashes to last winter, and how distraught he was when she had been kidnapped. How he’d have done anything to get her back. How he just knew that she couldn’t be dead. He reaches out hesitantly, but pulls his arm back when he glances at the hilt of the blade, still sticking out of the dummy. 

“I was thinking about how upset I was last winter, when you were kidnapped. That, um — well, ‘sucked’ doesn’t really cover it. That was awful. I really am sorry that I worried you.”

Something shifts in her eyes, and he can see the hurt dripping through the cracks of her anger.  “You couldn’t send an Iris Message? I thought you were dead, Percy.”

He scratches the back of his neck. “Drachmas were a bit hard to come by on the island.”

“Ha,” she laughs drily. She pauses to wipe at the sweat on her brow. “What was she like?” The words drip with contempt.

“I don’t — who?”

“Don’t play dumb,” she scoffs. “Calypso. What was she like?”

Air rushes out of Percy’s lungs. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it wasn’t that. Chiron was right, then. She had figured out where he’d been. 

“Does it matter?”

“Well, you spent two full weeks there, so I can’t imagine she looks like the ancient hag she is. How old is she again? Two-thousand? Or is it three?”

“Annabeth—”

“Two weeks, Percy!” she cries.

“I’m sorry, okay? Time was weird there!” 

“Oh, time was weird, that’s your excuse?”

“Yeah, that’s my excuse!” he shoots back.  “And I wasn’t just laying on a beach being fed grapes or something, I was recovering! From being blown up!”

That seems to drain some of the fight from her. She looks away, and her voice shrinks down: “I’m sorry you were hurt. I—I hate seeing you hurt.” 

In the silence that follows, he thinks inexplicably of Aphrodite coming to visit him last winter, the limo so out of place in the desert. The way that she had appeared, if only for a second, like the girl in front of him. How she had promised she wouldn’t let his love life be “easy and boring”. Gods, why couldn’t it be? The rest of his life is crazy enough. 

He had hoped, briefly, that Aphrodite might’ve forgotten about her promise when they’d returned to Olympus. He remembers a slow, sad song, and his hands on Annabeth’s waist as they had swayed. How it had felt like the pieces were maybe finally starting to fall into place. The memory seems worlds away.

“Annabeth, listen. I’m sorry I was gone so long. But I didn’t choose to be sent there. And—and I came back.”

“Duh, Percy,” she rolls her eyes. “That’s her curse.”

“Okay, you’re right.” She turns away. He reaches out, more confident now, and takes hold of her arm. “But curse or not, I chose to come back.”

She pulls her arm out of his grip. “Yeah, so that you could tell me I have to bring some mortal girl to lead my quest!”

“What does Rachel have to do with this?”

“Are you fucking serious?” she shouts. He can see the walls building back up, the storm returning in her eyes. She whips around and yanks her dagger out of the sparring dummy, kicking up dirt as she begins to stalk away.

This was not how he wanted this to go, not his intent when he came to find her. Of all the ways returning to camp might’ve gone, he had never imagined it like this. He tries to reconcile the girl that kissed him in the mountain with this one, who can’t go more than a minute without yelling at him, that won’t stop running off. Why is this so complicated? She kissed him, right? Isn’t that supposed to be it? The happy ending? If movies told him anything, it was that the kiss means you get the girl. It shouldn’t be this hard. It wouldn’t be, he thinks bitterly, if she would quit storming off.

“Gods, would you stop running away when we’re talking?” he shouts after her. “Would it kill you to stick around and listen to me?”

He’s taken aback when she actually turns around, arms crossed and foot tapping. “Well?” 

Percy blinks. He hadn’t thought this far ahead. Shit, what is he trying to say? “You know, Calypso offered me immortality. I could’ve escaped the prophecy, I could’ve lived in paradise forever—”

That probably wasn’t what he should’ve led with. “If you want me to ‘stick around and listen’, you’re off to a terrible start,” she seethes.

He steamrolls on anyway: “—but I didn’t, I didn’t take her offer, because — well, because of Grover and Tyson, and the quest isn’t over yet, but also because—” he stops. He’s rambling. Focus. How can he say this? “Did you really kiss me back there, or did I make that up in my head?” 

She freezes. Silence stretches out between them, and Percy kind of wants the ground to swallow him whole. But it’s out there, now. Might as well go all in. “I really hope you did, because I’m gonna feel insanely stupid if it was just some volcanic-explosion-induced fever dream.” 

Slowly, she unfreezes. Nods. “Uh. Yeah, I did.”

He takes a step closer. “I don’t care about ‘some mortal girl’. At least, not the way I care about….about you.” He can feel the blood rushing in his ears, can feel his heart beating painfully fast. She’s still just standing there, staring and staring but not moving. She’s not saying anything, why isn’t she saying anything?

“Gods, can you throw me a bone, Annabeth? I feel like I’m dying here—”

He’s cut off when she lunges forward and kisses him. It’s like their first kiss in two ways: it’s over before he can even react, and it leaves him staring, dumbfounded. How is it that she’s caught him off-guard with this not once, but twice now?

“Think you’ll remember that one was real?” she asks, still only inches from his face. Her breath smells of strawberries, and her eyes are puffy from his almost-funeral, but the storm in them begins to clear. 

He laughs, bright and full. “You should probably kiss me one more time, just to be safe.”

“Hmm,” she considers, arms coming up around his neck. “Should I count down so that you can be ready this time?”

He groans. “You are so not making this easy.”

“I am never, ever going to make things easy for you, Seaweed Brain. Get used to it.”

“Gods, you’re insufferable. It shouldn’t be this cute.”

“Three, two—”

He’s on her before she reaches one, one hand pulling her closer at the waist and the other finding her cheek. When their lips meet, it feels like everything he’s been waiting for. Like the clouds parting, like sunshine, like warmth, like happiness.

It may not be their first kiss, but it’s their best yet.

[xxskycrystalxx]

My Thoughts on Lucifer Season 6 [SPOILERS AHEAD]

In order to organize my thoughts better, I decided to break it up into parts (things I loved, disliked, etc.)

Things I Loved:

Deckerstar || We have been on a journey with Lucifer and Chloe since the very beginning. I am so thankful and overjoyed to see how they both developed as characters and as people who love each other. They’ve had so many hurdles/hardships/obstacles in their relationship that it took them until the fifth season to finally get together, after five whole years. To say that I’m proud to see what Deckerstar has become is an understatement, they give me life. There were sooooo many Deckerstar moments in this season that I absolutely loved, from exchanging “I love you’s,” to “partners til’ the end.” (+ flying together and radiating bde as they should) They are literally the epitome of “freaking soulmates,” the amount of love and sacrifices they had for each other just makes me tear up just thinking about them. Also them being actual parents this season was honestly a dream come true. I loved seeing them work and grow together as parents. (Rory calling Luci dad and his face just.. UGH MY HEART)  And their kiss(es) at Lux before Lucifer left, that has got to be my favorite above all. They both have come a long way and they deserved every bit of happiness they got. 

Maze & Eve’s wedding was absolutely beautiful. 

Dan finally getting the closure he needed and going to heaven + giving comfort to Trixie.

Amenadiel || I don’t know if I’ve said this much, but Amenadiel really is one of my most favorite characters on the show besides Lucifer and Chloe. I knew he would've become God sooner or later in the season and I’m glad he did, because we know that that’s his calling, and he’s doing amazingly. I also really liked him being in the LAPD. He got to really understand and see from a different perspective while being an officer there and learning from Officer Harris (which btw I love their camaraderie). I also really loved that Amenadiel and Maze’s friendship was shown more this season. 

The cartoon theme they had in “Yabba Dabba Do Me” was one of my favorite things on the show, and it reminded me just how much I had loved cartoons when I was a kid. And also seeing Lucifer and Chloe being cartoonized was the literal best.

I think we established the fact that Chloe is the best mom ever and she’s powerful af with or without Amenadiel’s rod. 

Lucifer has come a very longgggg way from where we last saw him in season one. The development was hard earned and he deserved it. “Because if the devil can be redeemed, then anyone can.”

“My socks are missing.”

Carol & Ella are C U T E

Linda writing a book about Lucifer and her first draft is essentially about 60% canon and the rest of it is like some really hilarious fanfiction LMAO || Ok jokes aside about the book though, it did help Rory see the other side of the story that she’s missed her whole life, she now knows how much Lucifer loves Chloe, how much he sacrificed her, and how he wouldn’t abandon her unless he had no choice. The flashbacks made me cry so much, it just makes me remember how much Lucifer and Chloe went through together. Linda Martin is the best therapist and the best friend the Devil could ask for. 

Even though the ‘goodbye’s’ Lucifer had to do before he thought he would disappear was sad and made me cry a lot, I really loved how he could finally tell his family, the people he loved, what he felt about them truly. “You’re my favorite brother, brother.” UGH MY HEART; ok but Lucifer and Chloe being in that panic room together and just trying to be with each other just... chef’s kiss. 

Everyone essentially got a happy ending. 

Things I Disliked/Wasn’t a Fan Of:

Time Travel || Look, don’t get me wrong. I love time travel. It’s great, it’s fun and it’s interesting. Was it the right choice to include it in the last season, when there was enough going on as it is with the supernatural? Idk, you tell me.

Lack of Trixie. Can a girl dream? The way I really thought we’d get some important or nice moments with Trixie (besides her and Dan) and Chloe + Lucifer......Mazeve’s wedding didn’t really count since they only really had like a few lines together. It would’ve been nice to see Trixie and Lucifer bond more, even comfort her when she’s feeling sad about her dad again. We didn’t even get her in the beach scene where Lucifer, Chloe, and Rory went as a FAMILY. Like I know she had her scene with Dan and helping him ascend to heaven, but was it really that hard to get her in a scene/moment with all four of them doing something as a family? And we didn’t even get a goodbye between her and Lucifer like what happened? 

What Amenadiel had, Lucifer should’ve gotten as well. Amenadiel as God, he still visited Earth many times, he was there for his son’s birthday’s and Christmas’s. Lucifer? Nope. He was down in hell the whole time. I know he made a promise to Rory to not change anything but I thought it was a torture for him not to be with Chloe like he had always wanted and had a family and spending time with his friends. More like a torture for me in frank. Seeing Chloe give birth without him, raise Rory without him, and even die without him literally broke my heart into a million pieces. He doesn’t even get the chance to see his daughter. Which is why I can understand why so many fans are disappointed with how Lucifer ended, how Deckerstar ended. But I did make my peace with it, sort of... since Lucifer and Chloe can spend an eternity together. 

I liked Rory, but she technically was the reason her parents were separated for so long, idk I’m a bit bitter about that. 

To wrap this up....

Thank you Lucifer, for being a show that will be forever treasured in the fans’ hearts. Thank you for making such an impact on me. I’ve been with this show for many years, I went on an amazing journey with the characters that I love, thank you for giving us Lucifer and Chloe, Linda, Maze, Amenadiel, Ella, Dan, Trixie, and more. The show just means so much to me and I’m honored to have watched the show grow and be renewed, every step of the way. I’m proud to be a Lucifan. And I want to really thank the amazing amazing cast for bringing the show to life. Thank you to Tom Ellis and Lauren German for having the absolute best chemistry ever, for the absolute spectacular and awards deserving acting, and the best real life friendship ever. I will miss you two muffin bffs so much. I love this show, it’s cast, it’s characters, to the bottom of my heart. Goodbye, Lucifer, and thank you for everything. 

[bloodstvin]

golden child , 𝐋𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐁𝐎𝐘 ; tell me what it’s like to 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓇. fearless child , 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐁𝐎𝐘 ; tell me what it’s like to ( 𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒏 ). 𝚘𝚑 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚏𝚎𝚕𝚕. 

triggers : murder , ptsd mentions , war mentions... there’s probably more tbh.

𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒐𝒏𝒆.    𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓁𝒹𝒽𝑜𝑜𝒹 𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔𝒹𝑜𝓂 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓃𝑜𝒷𝑜𝒹𝓎 𝒹𝒾𝑒𝓈.

nicholas was born in the very MIDDLE of a giant and extremely long lightning storm that eventually turned into a bigger storm. his parents are shelby forbes & andrew o’shea his mother says that once he was born the storm started to settle and the sun came out of the clouds. his parents were... normal. his mother was a teacher and his dad was a lawyer. nothing supernatural about them. his father was a serious man who didn’t talk much about his childhood his time in the military ( he served in the vietnam war ). 

nicholas was always a good kid. he didn’t necessarily belong to a particular clique in high school , he mainly just floated. he did sports because he was good at them and he was proficient in languages and other school subjects. he was good with his hands and when it came to hands on activities. but he was exceptionally good at art. he had a lot of imagination and creativity that you would be surprised by. he could have gone on to an arts school… but he didn’t.

when nicholas was sixteen he was out in the middle of a storm that nearly destroyed his childhood home. he was truly just making sure that all of their animals were safe and in the barn and weren’t still out running in the storm or injured somewhere. nicholas was struck by lightning in the storm. he nearly died but he DIDN’T. he was as close as you can get. his heart even STOPPED. when he breathed life and woke up – HIS FATHER was sitting at his side. that summer he really got to know his father for the first time in forever. 

nicholas had considered art school , it was a great passion of his and he was a damn good artist too. but things changed. when he got back to school after summer break school was the last thing on his mind. it was like his eyes had opened and could see for the first time in years. he did apply to art schools and got in to all of the ones that he applied to but his heart and mind were telling him to do something else.

𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒕𝒘𝒐.    𝑜𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓈𝑒���𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑒𝓃𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝓌𝒶𝓇.

nicholas signed up for the army the day he turned eighteen. he met his future wife barely a week later. she was there when he left his small town for boot camp. they were very much a dear john love story. they sent letters back and forth when he was in boot camp and continued when he was sent around the world. he would come home for a week at a time. they eloped young and had one child not that much later. their love burned , though never got to burn out -- she died when their child was x years old ( will be decided when eldest child is taken ! ) nicholas was in afganistan at the time. 

two years later he married his current ex-wife. big wedding. they had two children together. 

he spent as much time at home when he could. he was not much of a presence in his child’s lives when they were young but he visited when he could and sent letters as often as he was able to. but letters only went so far. his wife just wanted help with their unruly children and his children just wanted a father. nicholas had an even bigger chance to leave after the incident that caused most of his team to die. ( he had signed up for x amount of years which has coincidentally came up after everything ) he wasn’t in the jeep when they went over the mine , but he was SUPPOSED to be and last minute he ended up staying behind with the others. he heard that explosion and his stomach dropped. some of those left alive after what happened left completely. nicholas didn’t. he did take a break after the incident. he went home , he attended his sisters funeral ( who died not that long before ) he grieved with his family as well as grieving for the army family he lost. but still , he continued on eventually and saw even more horrific things , saw his life flash before his eyes more times than he could count. sometimes he wondered why he kept on going and kept renewing his contract and then he remembered when he went back home and couldn’t deal with regular everyday life. 

niholas ended his contract with the army after a disaster with his then team. the person in charge had essentially put everyone in a horrible situation and surrounded by the enemy - a person that nicholas was supposed to trust with his LIFE. nicholas was left to get everyone out alive. and somehow , he did. he got everyone out alive with no fatalities and minimal injuries. nicholas was awarded a medal for his heroism , which he just called “ SHEER DUMB LUCK “ lmfao

𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆.    𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒾𝓉 𝑒𝓃𝒹 ?

nicholas and his wife divorce when he’s thirty-two years old. their marriage had been strung along for TOO LONG and it was obvious to almost everyone that they hadn’t had a good marriage in years. but also , what they didn’t tell everyone at first is that they both came out as gay during this time. sure , their relationship wasn’t the best but the bottom line is that they were both unhappy and trying to force happiness in a marriage that should have ended a long time ago -- or not even started at all.

nicholas had never questioned his sexuality. he assumed he was straight. he never had internalized homophobia or anything. it just wasn’t something he thought about. he did was his parents did because that was what he knew. he never even realized that he could have been gay until his early thirties. his focus had always been on other things , too. 

the day the divorce was official lifted a huge weight off of his shoulders. he hadn’t realized how much he had been holding in until that moment. the divorce was the best thing the two of them ever could have done.

he also started med school , which he breezed through. idk when , tbh. but he’s a pediatric surgeon now and one of the best in his field in nyc ! 

anyways.

last summer , the whole gang went on a camping trip together ( nicholas , ex wife , 3 kids ) in upstate new york. it was a great bonding experience for them and brought them all really close. but... 

nicholas’ youngest child ( age thirteen ) was “ mauled by a bear “ when he wandered off in the middle of the night. nicholas was the one to find him a little while off. there wasn’t even a body to bury - it was that bad. 

but it wasn’t a bear. or a coyote. though , nicholas doesn’t know anything about that.

𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒖𝒓.    𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝒷𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓃𝑜𝓌.

it’s been a year since his youngest child died. they’d be fourteen now. a day doesn’t go by where nicholas doesn’t think about the gruesome scene he happened upon. it gave him nightmares for months and made his grief so much worse. 

he started going to grief counseling a few months ago... but that’s as close to therapy as he’ll get. he definitely struggles with ptsd a lot and probably will continue to for the rest of his life. he’s still never gotten help for it. 

𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚  &  𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔.

he’s related to the forbes family & is quite close to kathy forbes ! she’s basically his kid. 

he does a lot of work with foster kids , which is how he ended up fostering / adopting a few. 

he also used to take in multiple foster kids at a time , though he hasn’t done that in a few years now.

u can find him on okcupid ( winks @ jasper )

despite what happened to his youngest kid ..... he doesn’t know about the supernatural. he truly thinks that his kid died from a bear attack because that’s what it looked like. he’s just a dumb human , bois. 

he has a very old cat named floof ( his kids named her ) , a corgi named bear & a golden retriever named lily. 

he regularly struggles with ptsd , it’s a big reason why his marriage wasn’t working out. he never wanted to get help.

he’s struggled with alcoholism , especially after coming home. 

when he was struck by lightning , it left quite the scar on his body. which doesn’t even compare to the other scars he has scattered on his skin. 

he had a younger sister named theresa o’shea. she died due to wrong place at the wrong time.

there’s been A LOT of supernatural - based things happening in his life. but he’s never noticed any of them nor has he connected the things to the supernatural. 

he coaches his niece’s softball team on the weekends. 

personality-wise... he’s JUST A GOOD DUDE. he loves his family and he loves his kids so much. he’d do anything for his kids , tbh. he MEANS WELL but it doesn’t always come off that way. in the military he was hard due to the circumstances he was in. the tragedies that he has seen made him a little cold in the army but outside of that he’s soft. he doesn’t keep up with pop culture and technology. nicholas has a strong set of morals that he abides to – he’s known for his heroism , even as a kid before he got into the military.

he was born in england and lived there till he was fifteen -- when him & his parents moved to nyc. 

𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅  𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔. 

EX WIFE / BEST FRIEND. despite everything... they’re best friends. she’s his foundation that keeps him from slipping. also strong ... wlw & mlm energies. human. 

ELDEST CHILD. they’ll be 21-23 years old. pref a poc. human.

SECOND ELDEST CHILD. from second marriage. age 17 - 19. human. 

ADOPTED / FOSTERED KIDS. two total. any age. taken in within the past 10 years. human.

ARMY SQUAD. army squad ! they’ve been able to stay in touch throughout the years and are basically as close as siblings.

OLDER SIBLING. they’re just ..... so close. he really leans on his older sibling a lot for help with his kids. nicholas might be the glue that holds his family together but their older sibling is like ,,,, the life jacket that keeps him afloat. 

GRIEF SUPPORT GROUP. he’s been going for a few months now and while he doesn’t talk a lot .... it helps.

DATES GONE WRONG .... HOOKUPS .... EXES. even dads need sum love ! 

FRIENDS. he’s a very likable dude ! lots of friends ! he’s very charismatic and everyone tends to like him. 

CO - WORKERS. make him the hot surgeon around the children’s hospital he works at. everyone has a crush on him bc he’s hot ! af ! 

INTERN. they’d be his intern and wanna be a doctor / surgeon / they just wanna work with kids in a hospital setting. 

LIKE A YOUNGER SIBLING / CHILD. they were in the military together and he basically looked out for them and now they’re both in nyc. he still sees them as a kid , despite them not being a child. at all. 

HUNTERS. hunters who looked into the case involving his child being killed by a bear. they know that it wasn’t a bear... maybe they tell him at some point ? idk.

MURDERER. the person who killed his thirteen year old kid. could be vampire , werewolf... could even be a bitch or some misc creature. 

ETC. he coaches a little league softball team ... works a lot with foster kids .... he’s also cousins to a founding family so. connections. 

𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒔.

stats - tba.

pinterest - tba.

playlist - tba.

[hyunarkarchive]

oh my stress;;

“'tis i, a writer, togetherslapper of words.” 

knowing that my own five year anniversary at rookies is in about two months makes me actually really emotional, and most of you know, i don’t really get emotional about stuff like this.

i’m here to talk about all the fucking shit storms i brought. starting from good ol’ ellyrk, who turned into yuriirk and currently known as hyunark, as well as, rkxwoozi, aka jihoonrk, fucking namtaerk, eunwoork, minhyunrk, younghyunrk 1.0, junhoerk aka younghyunrk 2.0. i am about 100% sure i’m missing someone BUT YOU KNOW, we can let that muse stay in dungeon vile. 

not even 10 minutes later 

oh yeah- minhork was it? minhxrk??? idk what his url was, shortlived lovely muse i tell you. jisungrk was a thing for like 6 months. however, as you can see, i have a lot of muses, 11 in total, well 8 if you remove younghyun 1.0 & 2.0 and jihoon.

its been nearly five years since i joined rookies and ive made a lot of memories here. good, bad, amazing, mediocre. a lot of memories than pretty much just range. can you believe i’ve actually cried a few times about rookies related thing? yeah, me neither, but here we are hahaha. i will probably not edit this at all, so if you see spelling mistakes, or maybe something is repeated, just ignore it please, its from the heart.

this place really helped me develop my writing, vocabulary and definitely social skills. i might suck at threading and replying on time, but i have to say, all the muns here are amazing!!! i remember when i first joined, oh boy was i fucking terrified of the fact that i SUCKED at writing. i was so cautious about what i write and how i spoke and i think some of you could remember it haha. i’ve also managed to make some amazing friends throughout my stay here, all of them older than me, as well haha and i was babied so much i always found it funny, but very thankful because some of the life lectures i got where definitely needed.

however, i will take a few minutes to write about the last three standing; hyunark, jihoonrk and younhhyunrk

hyunark: 

my first ever tumblr muse. my first rookies muse. my longest standing muse. she;s gone through a lot, and honestly, she will continue to do; i wasn’t all that good with her in the beginning, now i see a lot of gaps and weird stuff whenever i have to go read something to remind myself of events and so on. however, i really love her, and i’ve gotten a bit too attached to her haha. can you blame me tho? from ellyrk, to yuriirk, now hyunark, there have been alot of ups and downs but i am happy where she’s come. to being a potential walking scandal, to being in two survival shows, to being the first muse at rookies to not be offered a contract renewal, to another survival show, to a nova trainee after being cut short twice by hyunbin. she had gone through alot of character development and its shaped her a lot better than i ever could, for which i need to say my thanks to the mods of rookies for it, because without them, hyunark would probably be headed in a completely different direction haha. however, she still focuses on producing, writing lyrics and ever since she got into nova as a trainee, she’s focused on her dance as well because she doesn’t wanna be called an uncooked noodle anymore. her dream is to be a recognized producer and lyricist, and will fight for that title.

jihoonrk:

jihoork was previously known as rkxwoozi. i even used his original blog when i re-applied with him;; he lasted a bit under a year in all honesty the first time and i specifically remember that the reason for that was being signed under trc. it was a pretty unfortunate time for him to be signed, with all the scandals that happened and what not. i was a tad regretful that i dropped him to be honest, which is all the reason to why he was brought back. tbh, he didn’t change in that like 6 months gap he was away. he was the same moody gremlin everyone knew and loved. if you had asked me, a few years ago if i thought jihoon would debut, i’d laugh and say no fucking way, but here we are, when he is a member of convex and got to debut with his longets lasting friend, sehun and best friend seungcheol. so he is living the dream you know? even if he doesn’t show it, he is grateful and appreciates everything that’s happening around him and to him. his main goal right now is to be the variety ace of convex and is working slowly to achieve that goal.

yonghyunrk:

ahhh here we go;; my last muse who had to undergo something similar to jihoonrk;; i brought him in, because i had this idea of a metal head, who really just wanted fame and girl and guys. however, stuff happened, i couldn’t get him to have threads i wanted and so i dropped him. again, i pretty much reapplied a few months later with junhoerk which was basically younghyunrk 2.0 and eventually, i realized that the muse deserved its original fc and here we are again with younghyunrk. to be honest, i don’t even know how i managed to get him to go to mga4, but he went and caused chaos with chungha and we all know how much fun he actually had haha;; he still doesn’t like dance, and will probably not enjoy it until he gets signed and coach tells him he can’t dance and JUST out of spite, he will get better at it. ultimately, he wishes to debut on a band, he wouldn’t really mind if he gets placed at any instrument, as long as he gets to sing. he still wants to reach paradise city, as guns ‘n roses have said.

quick mentions to some of my other muses as well. its funny how all my other muses lasted for months as well;; honorary mentions will go to namtaerk, minhxrk and probably minhyunrk, i won’t be really talking about them, so focusing on eunwoork and jisungrk;

i can without a doubt say that these are my more interesting muses, or eunwoo at least. her dream was to become a musical actress and was a serial dater; she’d date a lot of people, girls and boys, and wouldn’t really bat an eyelash once it was all over. never really had long term relationships either. she was into photography and her photography instagram was more popular than her personal one and she didn’t mind haha.

jisungrk wanted to be a professional football player and he was never really interested in becoming an idol, which made him fun to play. however, he was a really young muse, i think i made him 16? yeah, i think he was 16 and after that i realized i can’t do young muses;; its just weird for me, i have no clue what middle school kids actually do haha, i remember i just slept and did nothing all day, didn’t even study whoops. 

but yeah, these two muses were very short lived but fun and i think that one day, if rkforthmuse is allowed, i highly doubt it, i will bring back eunwoork because she deserved more attention than i ever gave her.

now i will do a few mentions, by a few i mean it will be a lot;; i’m sorry if i get sappy or anything;; please accept my love <33

ABBIE - @seungcheolrk​ & @rkwon​ & @rkgwen​ - sunshine, my lovely amazing sunshine;; thank you. thank you, thank you. its been nearly five years of friendship, can you imagine it? soon, in just two months, it will be half a decade and i am extremely grateful;; i can’t explain it and i know that even saying it on a daily basis to you, it won’t be enough;; its funny how we started talking through rksoo and ellyrk, and now here we are, four years later, rkjicheol being in the same company, debuting together, in the same group. in all honesty, i remember when i dropped jihoon and then picked him up after like, literally two months, and it was one of the best decisions i ever made. i always have fun talking to you, plotting and threading and i honestly wish i did it a lot more than i currently do, but you know, uni is kicking my ass hasljdhlas anyway;; thank you, sunshine, thank you a lot and for these almost five years i love you a lot 🍅🍅🍅

HUNNIE - @yutark​ & @rksunwoo​ & @rkseokwoo​ - where do i even start?? like, oh wow, there is A LOT;; i can definitely say, we started talking when i suggested jihoon as sunwoo’s first kiss and look where the are now? dating, for what? seven months, can you believe that? SEVEN!!! this is insane haha;; and look and where we are now, talking on a daily basis, and its very very nice;; i don’t know what i would do nowadays without you, so i’m really really thankful you deal with my sorry ass so much ahdsdsalla it started with jihoon and sunwoo, then it transitioned to younghyun and yuta, and most recently, its been yuta and hyuna and their lil game of cat and mouse;; its always fun plotting with you, threading, talking, everything really;; and i really hope it will continue to be this way;; i love you

LYN - @rkxsnn & @rkavery - hello there mum!!! impressed im starting with you? anyway, i have A LOT OF THANK YOUS TO TELL YOU, starting from dealing with me, to helping me get through college, to life advice, to all the skype calls we had, a lot of things in these past few years. even if we don’t talk as much and i know you have life kicking u in the ass, i wish we could change that soon;; i miss you a lot;; all of your muses are amazing and i absolutely adore them, as much as i do you!! hmu soon;;  minsoo and elly were iconic, and he will forever be a huge part of her;; remember that mino and taehyun ship we had? good angst times lbr.

JEN - @yujurk - sup there mum number 2 even though i act older than you, you can’t even lie about that haha; you were one of the first people i started talking to in rookies, and still do on a weekly basis? daily? you get the point haha;; damn, i don’t think we ever argued as well, which is insane and you do give good advice and oh my god your muses are so funnnnnnnnnn bring all of themmmmmmmm innnnnnnnnnnnnn;; i’m so so happy that you came back to rookies after that hiatus;; really really happy;; jieun and hyuna are iconic partners in crime;; jihoon is grateful that jieun taught him how to sing;; hyuna thinks soyeon will forever haunt her, no doubt;; jkook is forever jihoon’s bunny you can fight him about it;; eunwoo says jkook never took her on a date, she’s upset about it haha

CLARA - @rkwendy​ & @rkjohnny​ - clara clara clara. you really love having me send the group chat into gay panic huh? i will forever continue to do it, do not worry. once a week sound good? hahah;; i wish we talked more than we do lately, but its always fun no matter what it is;; i also know for sure, you have my back and we can take over a country if we tried hard enough lbr;; i think we mainly stared talking when the brosquad/antisquad happened, which was pretty much when i joined rookies haha;; so again, nearly five years of friendship look at that!! we need to talk more and you need to tell me more baking recipes!! i think it was hyuna and wendy that we first got to interact and then wendy and jihoon and funny enough, i feel like jihoon and wendy are closer than hyuna and wendy haha;; then younghyun joined the picture to fully annoy wendy out of this word;; we need to thread more sobs;; lets make that happen yeah?

SHINOBI - @rkkangjoon​ & @rkgray​- hello there shinobi. i think our meet up scenario was the same as with clarea, huh?  brosquad/antisquad;; we should talk more, that’s a definite but i think that with hyuna&kangjoon we have gotten a lot closer than before and its really cute and nice and i love it qwq gray and hyuna need to release a hit song someday, we better make that happen yeah??? good!!

SACHA - @rkrose​ & @rkkyungri​ - i am super super duper ultra mega giga happy we got to talk a lot in the past few months, get to know each other and its very very nice;; i always have fun talking to you and i know i can lean on you if my day has been shitty, and i am sorry if i’ve had a lot of shitty days sadhljsajldnl ahhh, but yes, our muses will go through a lot and i’m really happy you enjoy it and i hope we can see them grow and develop!! 

ANI - @rkchungha & @rksohee& @rkmiya​ - what am i actually gonna do without you, that’s a very very good question i was asking myself recently. its really weird we never really talked a lot until younghyun was brought into rookies, which was i think this year huh? funny, very weird, what life was i living without you in it?? hahaha, anyway, i’m really glad and happy having chungha and younghyun so close got us to be closer as well, even if i set you into rp panic with random questions and potential scenarios haha;; i’m glad you enjoy them;;; love you lots!!

CARLY - @taeminrk & @rkluna & @danielxrk - we don’t really talk much, but in reality, i actually don’t know where i’d be rn if i couldn’t come to you with stupid questions and inquiries;; i wish you all the best in every possible aspect of life and love seeing you on the dash;; ngl i am also extremely and forever sorry that you have to read through hyunark’s post from like three years ago, that;s some nasty writing right there yikes;; but thank you for taking rookies under your wing and just expanding it and making it better and better with the rest of the mod team;; keep up the good work!!

a very special thanks to all of the royal girls, @rkxnarong , @rkyena , @rkella , @rkcheri , @rksoohyun , @rklisa , @rkrose who made royal survival a blessing, her stay in royal amazing as well;;  special thanks to all the royal boys, ex ones count as well, fight me @rkbyunbaek , @jaehyunrk , @kibumrk, @yienrk , @rkseonho,  thank you for being a part of hyunark’s journey in royal fun and emotional lbr;; you guys managed to make royal fun for me as well, so thank you so so so much to every single one of you guys;;

a huge thank you for og trc roster that’s still here and dealt with jihoon;s sorry ass back then; a huge thank you for the kt roster that had to deal with jihoon as well, even if it was for a short amount of time;; a huge thank you for sphere, and convex members @seungcheolrk , @rkhyun , @rkjinwook , @kibumrk , @rkjinkis , @rktaeyxng , @tenrk , @rkxroyal , @rkohsehun , @yienrk , @rkromeo , @rkzyx, who will now have to deal with jihoon like it not, but i apologize on his behalf;; even if i don’t say it often, i am really really happy jihoon got to debut with your boys and i’m happy i get to interact with all of you so much;; thank you, thank you, thank you;;

thank you rookies, for such an amazing time!! i can only wish and hope for many more!!!

[morozovastarkovs]

since this whole anti debacle got me all riled up and really angry i just need to vent and rant and let out my thoughts on the whole jtv mess.

full disclaimer, if you’re expecting anything remotely positive about michael in this, you’re in the wrong fucking place. i hate the man and would spit on his grave if i could. you’ve been warned, if any michael/cordu/eva stans still read this & come into my inbox looking to start a fight or anything, lmao don’t bother bc i won’t respond anyway. i don’t want to start drama or anythng, i just wanna share my viewpoint(s) on the whole thing and use my blog and this post as an outlet for it. if u do want to politely & maturely discuss my views, that’s fine. i’m open to it. nothing else tho.

anyway what bothers me most is that people are constantly like “michael had to die in order for jafael to happen” and “rafael will always be jane’s second choice” or wHATFUCKINGEVER. and i don’t want to see that shit in the jafael tag. not when i go on tumblr dot com, not on twitter, not anywhere. i’m SICK of it, cause it’s everywhere, cordu/eva stans pls come collect ur garbage we dont want it.

anyway i hope those people know that michael was supposed to die back in season 1 and thus jafael was always supposed to be endgame. jane/michael is a thing that they kinda came up with spontaneously and it’s because they got renewed for another season, and another one, and if they had jane and rafael end up together already there wouldn’t have been anything left to tell a story about, since the love triangle was clearly the focal point of the plot in seasons 1 + 2. they had to drag it out at this point like??

i haven’t seen seasons 2b and 3a and never will because unlike some other poeple i am actually able to stop watching a show if something happens that i don’t like and don’t want to see w/o complaining about it nonstop. anyway from what i’ve heard, rafael starts acting kinda shady in those episodes and i have no idea what exactly was going on with his character arc then but as far as i can tell, and yea i might be totally biased, but to me this just seemed like a blatant attempt to get people on board with michael and jane because they literally spent a whole season making the viewers root for jane and rafael and they had to fix that. what better way to do that than by making rafael unlikable /unsuitable in some way? idk man, but it’s cheap and i’m glad i didn’t sit through that character slander.

at this point i would also like to add that if you weren’t “Team Rafael” or whatever in s1 what the hell were you even fucking doing. michael was suuuuuper shitty in s1, he was such a fuckboy and that’s literally why i started hating him so much. he lowkey stalked jane and was immediately immensely jealous of rafael and instantly hated him which??? what the fuck is wrong with you my guy. not only is this so childish and stupid bc rafael didn’t even do anything, but it’s also so disrespectful to jane bc he clearly thinks she’s capable of cheating on him w rafael which ... wow ... you seem to have so much trust and faith in your fiancee! great! gold star for you darlin’. and he just did not support jane in her decision to have the baby after all, he even went behind her back and covered stuff up so she would still give the baby to the solanos. and do NOT get me started on the whole shitty thing where jane flat out told him that she was devoted to rafael and that he was the one she saw herself with, and could he stop pining after her & move on? and he literally had the fuckin GALL to basically tell her she was delusional and that they’d be together? like, even if he was sort of right, this is SO not romantic. if a guy ever tells me he knows me and what i want better than myself he can FUCK OFF. god this scene makes me so angry u don’t even wanna know lmao.

ANYWAY though i had my moments of doubt here and there, i was still p sure that jafael would be endgame, no matter how they would accomplish it. the way that they had michael die in the end was shitty and sloppy writing, i’ll give u that, and literally something no one liked. most jafael shippers didn’t like the whole michael/jane thing to begin with and obv cordu/eva/michael stans didn’t either. tbh i was more expecting that they would write him off in a way that he either left/had to leave for something or that he does somethin unforgivable and jane, like, divorces him or something but i didn’t think they’d kill him after all. oh well. i’m not complaining but i will concede that it was stupid writing.

so... lastly.... “rafael will always be second choice” first of all, even if michael hadn’t died they still would have found their way back to each other. killing him off was simply the easiest way out of the cordu/eva situation and so they went with that. second of all, YIKES! i hate this mentality that you will only ever have the one “love of your life” or whatever you wanna call it and thats it. nothing will ever compare to that and if u lose them you’ll be miserable forever? no thanks. i believe that you can love more than one person in your life, deeply and genuinely love them and have that love be just as fulfilling and great as the other(s). everything else is quite frankly bullshit. it will always be different, yes, but never not as beautiful as anything that came before it and like ... u like to say u care about jane so much but if thats true do you really want her to be unhappy and alone the rest of her life??? no? ..so what you’re saying is you just don’t want her w rafael just because... ok. u do u sweaty :)

anyway i can’t wait for jafael to continue to rise and be endgame, good night.