#shes also such a ho for pets and its amazing bc she only likes me

[trans-hunter-truther]

I’ve literally never written fanfic before but here I wrote a little drabble for apprentice x julian, ft my cat. this was entirely inspired by the fact that it’s been a running joke for like,,, 5 years that my cat is my familiar and that she scares the shit out of everyone

Apprentice is unnamed so go wild and use your imagination lmao

The tranquil silence was broken by a slight choking noise and stammering.

“I-Is she your...Is she like Faust..?” The mans panicked, confused eyes and red face were a sight to see considering the circumstances. At over six feet and several years of running from the law under his belt, you’d think Julian wouldn’t be so scared by a small black cat jumping up and into his lap- even if she appeared out of seemingly nowhere.

“Luna? No, she’s not my familiar or anything if that’s what you’re asking- she’s just a regular cat as far as I’m aware of. I found her alone on the streets as a kitten and she’s been inseparable from me since.” You reply casually, your lip curling in amusement as you watched the tall man slowly relax and place a hand tentatively on the cats back, slowly smoothing it down her back.

“Hmm...Are you completely sure about that?” Julian’s face quirked into his familiar smirk “I swear I just saw her jump out of the void.”

You pout and snatch Luna from his lap, sticking your tongue out at him jokingly “Don’t tease my cat just because you’re unattentive. She just blends in well with the darkness-” You smile and chuckle slightly “She must like you for all the gloomy colors you wear.”

“Mmh, I’m sure she’s just happy to see someone in this house with some fashion sense.” Julian smirks at you, lip curling upwards and revealing a bit of his gums.

“Please, you’ve admitted yourself before you didn’t know a thing about the fashion world. Besides, at least I wear colors.” You gently place Luna on the floor and smile gently as she affectionately rubs against your leg. “See! What I’d tell you!”

Julian shakes his head and stands, walking over to you. “Oh well, I don’t need her affections.” He gently takes your chin between his gloved thumb and forefinger, still slightly unsure in his motions “There’s only one person here who’s affections I want”

You scoff at him, pausing momentarily to enjoy his quickly reddening face before indulging him, leaning in for a kiss.

“You’re lucky I like gloomy things as well”

[pocmuzings]

💘 + hana & suraj 😌

wipes sweaty shaking hands . .. . .

where they first met and how : at school ! not entirely sure on grade . . but definitely like . .  middle school . . fresh high school ? hana had just moved , and she saw suraj was in her class and o wow she was smitten she thought he was BEAUTIFUL

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved : their actual FLIRTING flirting stage was mainly just hana shamelessly hitting on him and staring at his ass . . so what . i think that lasted.. like a year and a half ? before she chilled out a little , and stopped just idolising him and began actually TALKING to him . and then it was still a lil flirty but it was actually like ‘ oh . . oh this guy has thoughts and is smart and thoughtful and sweet and not just a Hottie with a Body . . ‘ 

who fell for who first ( if applicable ): i think hana fell hard initially but it was legit just infatuation and her thinking he was hot . . i think from there . . they both kinda fell for each other ? once they started getting to know each other and working on school projects together . hana figured by then that he was way out of her league , so she’d kinda just given up and was happy just be Friends ? so she never even CONSIDERED suraj might like her too . 

where their first date was and what it was like : oH THIS ??? IM NOT ?? IM NOT SURE ? i feel like when suraj first got his license he probably picked her up and took her out somewhere , and brought her flowers he’d nervously ripped out of his neighbours yard . . and like . he tried to take her to a nice dinner but maybe his car stalled ? she spilled something on her nice skirt ?? it was a disaster lowkey , and ended with them in a carpark of a 7 / 11 sharing a bag of skittles and holding hands probably and it was . . an amazing date . hana didn’t even care that everything ‘ technically ‘ went wrong . 

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? ): AHHH THIS IS HARD TO ANSWER ?? because there was a lot of dancing around it . a lot of uncertainty and jealousy and saying ‘ ha ha we’re just friends ‘ . i truly  don’t know who would have . . made the Move finally and asked out who and how ? i feel like it could have been suraj , but hana misunderstood and thought it was a Friendship thing , too . 

who proposes first: OH IT WAS SURAJ AND WE ALL KNOW IT  . i feel like hana maybe murmured it one night , them half asleep , her face smushed into his neck , like ‘ i wanna marry you ‘ , but it was suraj who literally had the Plan and the idea and the whole set up and he asked her and hana was both surprised and not surprised and SO HAPPY

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away : they didn’t really , in fact if anything they kept their relationship secret to EACH OTHER . like everyone else kinda knew they were into each other but they were both like . . ha ha . . nah . 

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? ) : god u guys are really testing me today . . umm i feel like it was on new years and it was a little cliche , and hana and suraj were hosting a lil drinks together and had dinner with her parents beforehand and yeah . . ok . . suraj definitely did the thing with the Ring in the Glass , and him on his knee just as the fireworks went off . hana probably was laughing and crying and pulled out a ring SHE had for SURAJ in her purse and they’re both dumb idiots in love !

if they adopt any pets together : hana would adopt 2000958489 pets if she could , and suraj rlly has to put his foot down or he’ll come home to so many . luckily , most of their lives they’ve lived in apartments so having pets hasnt been a super high possibility . also . . hana is quite careless and has k*lled many , many of their goldfish . . 

who’s more dominant : hana is more outwardly dominant but only because she’s SO loud and outspoken and talk talk talk talk TALKS . but suraj is quietly dominant ? like he’s the one who’ll put his hand out and immediately Everyone Respects and Listens and Shuts The Hell Up . he can command a room very easily if he wanted to . as for s*XUALLY . . hana LOVES when suraj gets a lil . . u know . . commanding in the bedroom . but she is usually the one who initiates it , and then he will hesitate but get iNTO IT. 

where their first kiss was and what it was like: their first kiss was prom ! they both came with other dates and were acting like they weren’t jealous . hana’s date was a dick the whole night so she bailed , suraj’s date left early to go to some party . . it was them two in a carpark lowkey bickering and then . . oh the kiss just Happened !

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? ): OH HANA GETS THEM EVERYTHING . they have mr & mrs everything . she got them his & her towels . . ‘ HANAS BOYFRIEND ‘ as a mug to suraj ( for him to take to work so no Woman talks to him dfkjnfnk ) . they also definitely have 3000 matching halloween costumes , and ugly christmas sweaters . 

how into pda they are : neither of them are actually super super pda-y besides a kiss goodbye / hello , and a hand hold . if they’re a little drunk or tipsy , hana definitely snuggles on in and just Holds him the entire night and presses kisses to his neck because she’s Addicted to him . 

who holds the umbrella when it rains : SURAJ LOOK AT HOW TALL HE IS . and he just does it silently . . he takes it and holds it , and ensures hana doesn’t stumble into her 3000th puddle , or accidentally hit someone with the umbrella ( when she holds the umbrella , she always smacks suraj in the face and doesnt even notice dkjnjnfkfn ) 

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable ) : i don’t know if they have one atm ? it was their rooftop for a while probably , in their old apartment complex ? thatd be date night usually . currently ..  they’re pretty happy just having dinner together every night in their house in general ? 

who’s more protective: hana is definitely protective because she doesn’t like the way suraj’s family treats him , mainly . like he’s not a PUSHOVER per se , but he isn’t very confrontational and ppl sometimes take advantage of that , and around his family she KNOWS they hurt his feelings and she really really doesn’t like that  

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ ): platonically , they share a bed a bunch of times before they become ‘ them ‘ . hana’s parents let suraj stay over literally whenever , and they have a Knowing look in their eyes and would tease them about ‘ leaving the door open ‘ ( and hana would groan very loudly whilst suraj would stammer out a ‘ no - i - never . . ) . the first time they had sex was also in hana’s bed lets be honest . it was careful and gentle and both of them laughing nervously and moving slowly and taking Care of each other . 

if they argue about anything : they don’t really argue with each other until they moved to mystic and things got Strained slightly . hana started acting quite obviously distant and it started stressing suraj out . other than that . . they argued maybe once or twice about surajs brother ? it was never anything TOO serious but it was a little bickering about how hana didn’t trust him and wished suraj didn’t hold out hope for him , and suraj defending himself and his brother . it’s never been anything too ugly ?? 

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. ) : hana . she leaves hickies on suraj any damn day . she also definitely comes to his office and will put on a fresh coat of lipstick and kiss him stupid ( and hand him her panties before stepping out ) because she just LIKES seeing him all flustered . plus she . . maybe likes that people KNOW that its HER with suraj . 

who steals whose clothes and how often : oh we know hana wears his clothes constantly . she loves them . they smell like him . she wears them as pyjamas , or sometimes as a lazy sunday brunch look . he’ll be like ‘ babe did you see my ralph lauren button up - oh “  and there she is on the kitchen bench swinging her legs , grinning at him . 

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? ) : they definitely swap ‘ big spoon / little spoon ‘ positions a lot . or they sleep holding hands , on different sides of the bed , but always touching in some way . 

what their favourite nonsexual activity is  : honestly . . just being around each other dfjkfnfn i know thats so cheesy but its true they love each other so much. their ABSOLUTE favourite thing to do is literally just talk about their days ? or like . cook for each other in the kitchen , or share music together , i feel ? just smth where they can be in their Space but not necessarily have to fill it with anything

how long they stay mad at each other : NOT LONG AT ALL !! barely anytime at all ! except . .One Time in the future when they have a huge blow out and theyre both utterly miserable , but all other small indifferences and ‘ arguments ‘ literally last an hour max . hana just can’t be mad at suraj bc he’s SO sweet and lovely and understanding she just . . always crawls back and knows shes the one being unreasonable 9  / 10 times . 

what their usual coffee / tea orders are : hana always gets a ridiculously bright, overly sugary, coloured drink , or always tries something new ( trying to make her way through the menu ) . i feel like suraj is either more of a long black , or cappuccino guy , or a tea drinker ? 

if they ever have any children together : oh ho ho . .   THIS . .  .woweee . . no, they do not ! not yet . . i want to say ? ?  mayhaps . . 

if they have any special pet names for each other : ‘  babe ‘ ‘ baby ‘ ‘ sweetie ‘ . hana calls suraj ‘ su ‘ sometimes ? 

if they ever split up and / or get back together : they . . split up exactly ONCE . and they get back together because they literally can’t live without each other. the split up isn’t anybodys fault per se , either . its that hana has suddenly a lot of trauma and memories resurface and she doesnt know how to deal with it , and suraj tries to help and it TERRIFIES her and causes this distance and rift between them and then she just thinks maybe he’d be better off without her , so she gives him back the ring and cue them both being utterly MISERABLE . they find their way back together though . they always do . 

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? ) : despite hana being very messy and all over the place , their living space is quite minimalist and clean . hana’s work space is an explosion of materials and colour swatches and scrapbooks , but the house as a whole is neat and tidy and i feel we mainly have suraj to thank for that 

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like : they spent half the day at hana’s parents , and half the day at suraj’s , then spent the evening / night together . they mainly enjoyed coming back home to each other tbh ? suraj’s family is . . Difficult , and hana tries not to stay around them for too long bc she sees them Drain suraj . 

what their names are in each other’s phones: hana’s name for suraj is probably  ‘ BABY 💕🥰💕🥰💕🥰💕🥰💕 ‘ she probably renamed herself in suraj’s phone too , to like . . ‘ LOVE OF MY LIFE ‘ and he never changed it back dfkjfnkfn 

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? ) : their tradition is usually having dinner together every night ? no matter who cooks or what they buy . or even if hana is working late on wedding stuff , suraj will come sit with her and bring her her dinner still . they also send each other Silly Goofy selfies every now and then , just randomly throughout the day 

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first : it really depends on the day ! during the week i think suraj usually falls asleep first ? and hana just rakes her fingers through his hair , because she usually works late and stuff , and tbh she loves when suraj is asleep bc hes a big golden retriever cuddled up to her . but everytime they watch a movie together , hana definitely falls asleep first and misses EVERYTHING  . as for waking up first , i feel like this must be suraj ? because hana loves sleep and also she doesnt sleep very WELL and sometimes has nightmares . 

who’s the big spoon / little spoon : they honestly take turns ok , there i said it . 

who hogs the bathroom : hana literally for every event . she loves makeup so much . she’ll be doing it for two hours , suraj sitting on the bed fully dressed being like ‘  baby i’m not pressuring u but uh . . we’re half an hour late to our own wedding dinner rehearsal ‘ dfkjndfnjk

who kills the spiders / takes them outside : THEY’RE BOTH DECENT AT THIS ? they both take the spiders outside . if its a particularly big one or scary one . . it goes to suraj though . hana PREFERS if suraj does it , but if he’s not around she’ll try her Best . 

[wiener-blut]

i was tagged by my bb @babypaulchen ages ago and now the time has come to finally do this shit!! i told u i was gonna do it Brig!!

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people (i wont tag anyone bc im doubting i even know 20 ppl on here lmao)

— what was your last…

1. drink: peach flavoured ice tea 2. phone call: my mom bc i asked her if shes interested in some hyacinth bulbs for her garden since the ones that stood in my room decayed 3. text message: to my cousin, setting a time where we can call and chat 4. song you listened to: actual surprise - its not Rammstein *ooohs and aaahs fly through the crowd* it was “The Schuyler Sisters” from Hamilton 5. time you cried: yesterday bc i had the worst fucking headache ever and i was being a whiny bitch

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: nope 7. kissed someone and regretted it: uhh no? 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: yes, multiple times and ive come to the conclusion that throwing up makes me feel better afterwards like im back to being able to actually perveice my environment again lmao

— fave colours

12. black 13. pastel pink 14. actually i kinda love all colours idk

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: yes! 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: yes, multiple times, good 18. found out someone was talking about you: like uh shittalking? idk so i guess not 19. met someone who changed you: uhhh kinda? 20. found out who your friends are: um well i found out that my friends are good friends and that i love them and that i dont want to miss any of them 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: what? u can “kiss” someone on facebook? lmao i didnt take a look on facebook for literally years .......man i had a massive brainlag here. i thought u can now “kiss” ppl on facebook like u can “poke” ppl on facebook and it didnt come to my mind this could mean “irl” lmao bury me IF it means irl tho, then yes

— general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: pff idk man who the fuck still uses that shithole of a site anyways

23. do you have any pets: no but i had a super cute and fluffy bunny and i still miss him and think about him everyday also i plan on having half a farm and half a zoo in the future

24. do you want to change your name: not anymore; i used to hate my name bc its so outdated and the only answer i ever got on introducing myself was “hey my grandma has the same name isnt that funny” but then more and more people told me my name was pretty and unique and well now that im older (sounds like im 40 lmao) im even kinda fond of it

25. what did you do for your last birthday: umm uhh i guess i was studying for my exams lol but i remember my gf cooking an amazing dinner for me 💖

26. what time did you wake up today: uhhhhhh smth around 9am i think

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: actually sleeping for once bc that headache knocked me out completely

28. what is something you can’t wait for: fucking going to fucking Hamburg in fucking five fucking days

30. what are you listening to right now: the birds chirping outside

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes i had a classmate named Tom........he was a bit strange tho.......

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: i cant think of anything rn

33. most visited website: Tumblr and Youtube

34. hair colour: natural? blonde / current? dyed it pink two weeks ago

35. long or short hair: long ass hair and i mean, literally, they reach all the way down to my hips

36. do you have a crush on someone: ohhhahahaha so, so many, one - and maybe the king of em all - being Christoph Schneider (not obvious at all cough cough)

37. what do you like about yourself: uhhhhhhhhhhh.........;;;;; i guess... uh... *insert more unintelligent noises* maybe my legs?

38. want any piercings: no, except for maybe some on my ear

39. blood type: 0 positive, i think

40. nicknames: Lily

41. relationship status: super duper gay af with @haifisch-ohne-traenen

42. sign: officially capricorn (i like to say “the last capricorn” bc it sounds like “the last unicorn” and well my birthday is on the last day that still counts as capricorn), but honestly im more of an aquarius

43. pronouns: she/her

44. fave tv show: i recently watched Grimm and the story was okay but the cast was like super adorable and i fell in love with every single one of them

45. tattoos: none. YET. i have plans for so much i just am very bad at deciding

46. right or left handed: right handed 47: ever had surgery: okay, small story time. there are these childrens books by german illustrator and author “Janosch” in which a tiger and a bear are best friends and i used to love those books. so once, tiger got ill (his stripes slipped out of place) and he needed to see the doctor. and the exact line was “soothing small shot, blue dream, surgery over, noticed nothing, tiger healthy”. and i once was in the hospital bc there was something wrong my nose (i dont remember what it was tho) and so they anaesthetized me (and my fav stuffie which i brough with me for mental support) and afterwards i told everyone of my “blue dream” and everyone was like ????? wtf kid bc they didnt know what i was talking about and it was just some months ago when i finally found out that a narcosis isnt called a “blue dream” and that i just knew this bc of this books which i adored and tbh i was like MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE “BLUE DREAM” IS AN ADORABLE TERM FOR IT 48. piercings: none 49. sport: i did ballet for 15 years and i still love to dance around the house and the mother of my best friend once called me cute bc i cant stand still and always spin around or stretch my toes while lifting my leg or do some pliés and tbh i wasnt even aware of that

50. vacation: uh...i love? lmao

51. trainers: umm like my shoes? mostly wearing my black doc martens

— more general

52. eating: i love me some good salad with tomatoes, mozzarella and tuna but ngl a pizza margherita could beat that salad any time. or a nice ragout fin. or mac’n’cheese. i love food in general, okay

53. drinking: i’d kill for a tequila rn. but like non-alcoholic beverage - plain water, yes thank u

54. i’m about to watch: some movie with my gf which we havent decided on yet

55. waiting for: my gf to return home from work so i can smooch her pretty face

56. want: to cuddle honestly

57. get married: since its legal in germany for some months now... idk tbh, its not smth i debate about on a daily basis

58. career: um i have a vague plan for becoming a speech pathologist but yea... its very vague

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs

60. lips or eyes: gotta say eyes

61. shorter or taller: i dont care actually

62. older or younger: um sweats loudly...... older (fun fact i recently calculated the average age of my celebrity crushes....yes i was bored.... and it resulted in 50.... well.....)

63. nice arms or stomach: arms, fucc me up

64. hookup or relationships: relationships

65. troublemaker or hesitant: me? kinda both

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: no 67. drank hard liquor: yes 68. turned someone down: not really?

69. sex on first date: nope

70: broken someone’s heart: probably

71. had your heart broken: uh yea...kinda

72. been arrested: no

73. cried when someone died: yes, im a whiny bitch so i cry easily

74. fallen for a friend: yeah binch im dating that lovely ho right now... im gonna leave Brig’s answer here bc its perf and same here

— do you believe in

75. yourself: ugh

76. miracles: i want to

77. love at first sight: no

78. santa claus: i want to lol but no

79. angels: fuck yes

— misc

80. eye colour: blue-gray-green-ish mud 81. best friend’s name: Dana

82. favourite movie: so? much? i cant decide, really

83. favourite actor: Tom Hiddleston, i love this british dork, lemme tell u

84. favourite cartoon: phuh, idk i dont really watch cartoons

85. favourite teacher’s name: SWEATS LOUDLY AND AGGRESIVELY i had two massive teacher crushes back in my school days and that makes me a bit biased but im gonna say Herr Wolf was a great teacher bc he always said “hey, astronomy’s a minor subject, the test won’t be hard and i wont give u homework, u guys concentrate on math, german and english” and tbh we need more teachers like that