#shed also get time to rest bc i imagine shed need it!

[gloopdimension]

Pongo may not have been able to have her own kids yet but he could be the dad that stepped up for Dedus's weird wigglers :}

FUGGGGGGGGGGGGG THIS IS SO TRUE..OHHHHH ❤❤

[mangostarjam]

fuji!! hope you've been doing ok lately :)) make sure to give yourself breaks when needed! treat urself with kindness and grace pls, remember you deserve it even when you think you don't <33

i came by to share my most recent 3am smutty brain rot hehe ;)))

key word: tenting. i'd imagine the kaiju suits have some sort of compressive technology to combat this issue, but yknow what probably doesn't?

(answer: vice captain's hoshina's sweatpants. its something you take unfortunate --or fortunate lmao-- notice of during one of ur training sessions when he decides to shed that half-jumper of his. WHICH BTW!! i fully believe he cut the bottom half off bc he likes taking it off when training, but cant be bothered to remove the whole thing LOL)

pre-relationship!hoshina is watching shortie!reader train and give guidance to the recruits and yknow, watching you fight gets him going and really, he didn't mean to pop one then and there but could anyone blame him when you look absolutely stunning beating the sht outa the recruits?? (i'm 5'1". this is self-indulgence hehe)

okieee love u stay hydrated, make sure to at least eat snackies if not meals, byee <33

- 🧸

hiiiiii friend thank you for thinking of me!! i am trying to take care of myself and thankfully august is almost over so i should be better soon!

i'm ngl this did make me wonder about their suits and uniforms HAHA but i am very pro self indulgence with writing!! gray sweatpants and tenting can absolutely be the death of me and while the uniform pants aren't the same thing, they're close enough imo!! or maybe i just think soshiro's hot in anything (also true let's be real)

this is like 900ish words and not smutty (sorry) but i did have fun thinking about a shortie!reader kicking ass!! love u teddy bear anon thank you for dropping by and i hope you still like this!

You're having the time of your life.

A strange thought to have, maybe, while you're busy dodging strikes and dipping and twirling around your opponents. Being much smaller than most members of the Defense Force means you're used to being underestimated, though your platoon has had enough time with you by now that they should be used to training against you.

They aren't.

You laugh as you swoop past the fists aimed in your direction, caught up in the giddy adrenaline of being good.

Everything moves in slow motion. The rise of your opponent's chest, strands of hair catching the light, muscles tensing for a blow. The sharp red gaze watching your every move from by the fence. You take it all in and blow past your teammates, emerging unscathed from the manned obstacle course and grinning, breathless.

Hoshina Soshiro grins back.

"Laps," he says, glancing past you. The rest of the platoon grumbles good naturedly, but they take off jogging around the track. You bounce on the balls of your feet as your Vice Captain stalks over towards you, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his pants.

"How did I do, sir?" you ask.

"Pretty sure Minase almost caught ya," Soshiro says. "And your form got sloppy at the end. But not bad, I guess."

"Minase did not," you splutter, but Soshiro just laughs. "I swear I'll get a real compliment from you someday, sir."

Soshiro shifts on his feet and you blink, distracted by the awkward way he's keeping his hands in his pockets. He's wearing his typical super-distracting skintight shirt — his jacket is hanging on the fence post — and your gaze pauses on the bunch of his shoulders and the strain of his biceps. Not wanting to be caught staring, you blink and move on. His pants are cinched tight at his hips, but as your confused stare drifts lower, he coughs.

"You get enough of that from the rest of the platoon leaders," he says lightly. "And 'sides, ya still ain't fast enough to get past me."

Sparks fill your veins. You glare up at him. "Oh yeah? Let's go, then!"

"Not now."

You nearly stumble in shock. In all your time under his command, the Vice Captain has never denied one of your training requests. It's led to many late nights in the practice rooms, joking and working together, bits of advice tossed out as he threw you around the room with a strength that made you dizzy. It's surprisingly easy to suppress your silly little crush when Soshiro is busy kicking your ass, but you enjoy the time spent with him all the same.

"Huh? Why not?"

Soshiro shrugs. The movement draws your attention to his shoulders, but that only sends your gaze down his arms to his hands stuffed into his pant pockets. Why is he standing like this, anyway? It's like he's trying to — oh.

Your mouth opens slightly in awe. Your eyes widen. The front of your Vice Captain's pants...

Well, it's safe to say Izumo Tech has some impressive compression technology for the anti kaiju suits. Those things are skintight, molded to your bodies for better kaiju cell synchronization and ease of movement. You've often wondered if it's uncomfortable for people with dicks, since the material sticks so closely. But none of you are wearing the suits right now — you're in uniform, and while the uniform is a bit looser, you've never noticed anything... like this.

Like the thick, unyielding bulge straining against the front of Soshiro's uniform pants.

You snap up to meet his enigmatic gaze as soon as you recognize what you're looking at, but Soshiro merely hums a little. "Ya looked pretty good during that obstacle run," he says.

"But you said my form got sloppy."

Soshiro grins. "Ya still looked good."

Does that mean...? You glance at his pants again and — yup, it's unmistakable. His hands may be in his pockets but there's nothing else that bulge could be, unless he's hiding some kind of secret weapon down there.

"Are you always like this?" you ask. Insubordination be damned — there's no way you can let this go now. Your heart pounds into focus, the lightning quick beat of your pulse drowning out your thoughts as Soshiro snorts.

"Do I get in trouble with HR a lot, y'mean?"

Oops. You're blushing. You're blushing and he's just laughing quietly to himself like your reaction pleases him. "I won't — I don't, um... I don't mind, I was just... wondering?"

Soshiro raises an eyebrow. You gulp as you meet his red eyes. "Am I always turned on while I'm watchin' ya take on guys two times your size?"

You nod. Your Vice Captain tilts his head up, watching birds flit across the sky for a moment as he processes this. "Guess it depends," he says, "this only happens with you, y'know. So d'you want me to be?"

"Do I want you to be...?"

"Interested?"

Your platoon is finishing up their laps, and soon you'll need to take your place among the obstacle course to attack as the next person has their turn. You're running out of time to respond. Your brain is buzzing. The both of you turn to watch as your platoon jogs closer.

"I do want you to be interested, Vice Captain, sir," you say firmly, staring straight ahead but glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. The tips of his ears are pink. "I would be honored."

"It's Hoshina," Soshiro says. He tilts his head slightly towards you and grins at your noise of confusion. "You can use my name while we're datin'."

[randomwriteronline]

frustrated abt brain not managing to write onewa getting laid. have at ye some brainstorming on the matter. as a curse

first of all why is Onewa specifically the one getting dicked down? because i say so. i wrote him getting pampered by all his teammates once (to shut him the fuck up) and now i want them to rock his world into next tuesday. something about him compels me. his bastard charms and attitude have bewitched me. so im unleashing the rest of the turaga upon him

second. communication game? pristine. top shelf. impeccable. these six have a whole system of little nudges and hints and stuff for "id like a bit of bangin if you would be keen on indulging me" and theyre never pushing at a refusal. these messages can be relayed anywhere from two weeks to five minutes before anything is in place and if the answers a no then its thumbs up and no problem. the matoran are none the wiser. not even Matoro. my boy can know all the secrets of the toa metru and shit but hes peacefully oblivious to the mindblowing Onewa Boning thats been going on behind the entire islands back for a thousand years. as he should be.

also im a sappy shit so theyre all sweet during intercourse bc it makes me :) and also because i need that stone bastard torn asunder by tenderness

now youd think mr hordika urges Matau would jump to the sex immediately given the chance and youd be dead wrong. bc first and foremost hes a romantic. hes gonna bone him to hell and back but to do that, he has to put in The Effort. must he? not really, but he wants to and it makes him feel happy n proud of himself. so hes nestmaking a new nest every time, and each one is the best nest hes ever nestmade bc hes always improving, and hes composing a lil treespeak song songsinging his lovers praises to hushwhisper in his ear while laying down on top of him, and after the first verse hes mumbling about how the next one should be accompanied by a slowdance if you catch my drift, and Onewa is fucking slurping it all up. he loves this. he can understand maybe a quarter of the whole thing bc the pronunciation is super strict but he can hear the intention and his ego is getting stroked. why thank you yes i AM the best. keep flattering me. oh a slowdance? well dont mind if i do...

Nokama on the other hand will pull him over, feel him up very gently until hes melted into a puddle, and then nudge his face into the pillow and dick him down so good he has to fight not to start screaming bc the entire ga-koro population is ASLEEP RN and he doesnt need them to be nosy abt this. she loves how he tries to buy time and fails miserably. shes speedrunning the foreplay for fun. see how fast she can turn him into a flustered mess. her all-time record was three seconds and a half but that was bc shed sent him a letter detailing how she was going to wreck him half a day in advance and when they actually got alone time he was still going insane about it so it doesnt really count even tho she insists it does

now you know hate-sex. ok. imagine that concept but less intense. like annoyance-sex. or mild inconvenience-sex. or "aw fuck, i cant believe youve done this"-sex. or that glare that you get after you say a stupid pun-sex. thats what Nuju and Onewa have. they NEED to do some light arguing before it bc thats half the fun!! usually Onewa bothers Nuju with something small and silly and Nuju then stands up and paces around very slightly angry for a moment or two before smoothly sliding back to him and pinning him somewhere he can bend over on. Onewa fakes the weakest struggle possible and tells him he sucks at a host bc he doesnt even take him somewhere comfortable for this smh, and then as soon as he gets very gently pushed forward he splays himself down all wiggly with excitement. its very cute and also satisfying to see the resident contrarian like that. plus Nuju knows this low quiet coo that makes Onewa shiver really hard bc he likes it a lot and you KNOW hes teasing the hell out of him with it. theyre playing :)

and he also sort of plays with Whenua but in that case its more like they affectionately insult and tease one another the whole time. Whenua will sit him on his lap with some excuse like teaching him how to deal with an earthquake or smth and go at it and then Onewa will say "is that the best youve got?" with a shiteating grin and hell laugh like fuck off you pillow princess i dont see you doing much, and they go back and forth like that until Onewa starts struggling to think straight, at which point Whenua will tease him mercilessly until the other is just straight up incoherent and its time to ease him down a little more gently before his brain explodes. and then once theyre all good n resting he jokes that his stamina sucks and Onewa goes how DARE you and they have sleepy aftercare banter until one of them starts snoring

Vakama is the only one who doesnt tend to dick Onewa down. thats because hes one hell of a cowboy. hell be all unassuming, invite him for tea after meeting with him, chat a while, yknow, typical turaga stuff, and then oh whoops would you look at that its gotten too late you should stay over... and when Onewa smiles and goes "ohhh you sly lil firespitting bastard you done trapped me huh?" Vakama acts all innocent and denies all accusations while also actively seducing him. master of looking like an angel going "i dont know what youre talking about" while very gently laying him down on the bed, climbing over him, and sitting right on his crotch. and Onewa just lets him bc its hot as hell when the firespitters sort of softly in charge like this. plus from his perch atop him Vakama always leans down to give him smooches on the chin while hes riding the absolute shit out of him so hard that Onewa gets genuinely winded and its the best

they sometimes all get together for this kind of thing too. I cannot describe the result bc words missing but yall can imagine it bc ive cursed you to. all you need to know is that Onewa is in the middle of it all and hes getting boned to hell and back very lovingly in a wide array of possible combinations. also his long legs are getting appreciated a lot

Onewa mightve also developed fantasies of engaging in passionate pre-toa trysts with his lads n lass back in metru nui. sneaking around. having semi public sex. he does Not talk about this bc its very confusing even for him and he might Die

and you know what the best part is? Onewa is Convinced that he likes sex for the sex, but hes wrong. he likes it for everything else

dont get me wrong he also likes the sex, its great and fun and he enjoys it, but its like a fun bonus. what he REALLY loves about it is all the work behind and after and around the actual sex part. he loves the planning and the nudges and the little silent communications, and he loves when the other turaga accept or pleasantly surprise him or when theyre the ones to ask first, and he loves the foreplay with all the teasing and bantering and touching and sweet things and getting comfy and the intimacy, and he looooooves being a lil loopy after its all over and getting to enjoy the aftercare and the snuggling and the falling asleep together and the waking up together because he fucking LOVES them and they love HIM and hes a lil starved for affection from back in po metru still

And he doesnt fucking notice bc his body goes "i want people i love to hold me" and his mind interprets it as "we're kinda sad, why dont we have sex? sex always cheers us up" and he goes Youre Right and misses the point

[fabaceous]

Is there ever a hypothetical world where Jackie and Shauna’s situation is reversed (as in Shauna dies and Jackie makes it home)? And if so, how do you think Jackie would react and deal with it?

this is ANOTHER of my favorite cans of worms to open lately so THANK YOU for giving me an opportunity to talk about it!!

i was thinking about this mostly because i was thinking about how shauna's hallucinations of jackie provide us with such valuable information about shauna's thoughts/feelings/desires, how she thinks of jackie, how she thinks of herself (via jackie). hallucighost jackie i think sort of has two sides that are intertwined but serve different purposes - there's one side that's more straightforward and even sweet: it shows how shauna, in her grief and pain, wants to remember jackie (the fun, lighthearted moments; braiding her hair, joking about randy). the other side is more dark but gives us just as much if not more insight into shauna: she uses jackie as a mouthpiece for her own bad thoughts about herself. hallucighost jackie is the whip that shauna self-flagellates with. and she punishes herself, but she's also sort of repressing the fact that she even feels guilty (which maybe is why she needs jackie's "ghost" to guilt her, because she can't admit to herself that she feels guilty). and it all must hurt even more coming out of jackie's mouth - which, if you think about it, is probably why she does it (better fuel for her guilt complex).

ANYWAY, i digress (sort of). my point is, i've always wondered what we could learn from jackie hallucinating shauna. how would jackie want to remember shauna, but at the same time, how might the memory of shauna torture jackie?

if we do a simple swap and have shauna leave the cabin when jackie tells her to during their fight and then shauna freezes, that's one option. we get jackie feeling both immensely hurt by shauna's nearly inconceivable betrayal but, at the same time, feeling guilty for sending her out there. this could lead to some interesting hallucinated convos and, personally, i 100% think it could also lead to jackie doing shauna's makeup in the meat shed lmao. (and thats how you know they're made for each other!)

BUT ALSO. shauna's betrayal (i mean, combined with jackie losing her social status in the wilderness and having the other girls turn on her ofc) made jackie so depressed that she was unable to eat, and shauna dying on top of that would have the potential to completely destroy jackie's will to survive. it would be a big ask, at that point, to get jackie through to rescue. id say its pretty likely she dies of a broken heart, so to speak. like, just loses all her remaining will to live (because her will to live was literally hanging on by a thread and that thread was shauna). the only way i can imagine her surviving long enough to go home is if she has a complete and total break from reality and like, just sort of dissociates from the entire year-plus that follows. i think (? let me know if you agree bc this actually just came to me while writing this and im not sure if it holds up) that if the writers really sold it right, they could convince me that jackie basically goes catatonic and retreats into some fantasy world (one where shauna is around, of course!) for the rest of their time in the wilderness. not exactly the way shauna talked to jackie in the meat shed, because shauna knew she was hallucinating and was more or less able to walk away when she had other obligations. i think jackie would actually legitimately just lose her grip on reality, and succumbing to this would be the only way for her to survive. kind of like the bacchanal but about, like, everything.

the other scenario that occurred to me (and it's a pretty awful way for shauna to die and makes me really unhappy btw, so, sorry in advance) is what if shauna's abortion attempt had gone really, really wrong and she had gotten an infection and died from that? obviously jackie has no clue at this point about jeff/pregnancy/rutgers/etc so its pure unadulterated heartbreak. taissa could play a really interesting role in this situation as the only other person who knows this huge, earthshattering secret. would she keep it from jackie? i think that would be the prudent thing to do. losing shauna would already be almost too much for jackie to take, but she could maybe survive that by designating herself as the keeper of shauna's memory and she could probably convince herself she owes it to shauna to stay alive because if jackie dies then shauna is gone for good. but, as we've seen in canon, finding out that shauna betrayed her sends jackie into a really dark place where she doesnt have much will to live. i think she could plausibly survive with her sanity intact if one or the other happens (shauna betrays her OR shauna dies) but, as i discussed above, experiencing both would either break her sanity or effectively kill her.

and i suspect taissa is smart enough to realize this too, so if she wants to keep jackie alive she'll withhold this information (hide/burn the journals?) and let jackie cling to whatever romanticized image of shauna she comes up with. once they get back to the real world, who knows? taissa might tell her because she feels like jackie deserves the truth, jackie might read shauna's journals from before the crash in an attempt to feel close to her again and find out that way, or even jeff might tell her (worst case scenario IMO)... and im honestly not sure what jackie would do at that point, like, murder jeff maybe? (im joking but i actually am not sure how that whole situation would play out. maybe depression 2.0 but in the real world, but that's not as fun as murder.)

i haven't even said what i think jackie would hallucinate, so lets end with that. for shauna, it's primarily about self-flagellation and self-punishment, although it has some ability to soothe her as well, like when she imagines having fun with jackie.

for jackie i think its actually fairly simple: its obvious to all of us that what jackie wants most is shauna's authentic and full love, and my personal theory is that the main (and maybe even sole!) function of jackie's hallucinations would be escapism and wish-fulfillment, and imagining that shauna really did love her.

jackie doesn't have a self-destruction/guilt complex like shauna does. jackie, i think, would be able to just feel guilt in a more straightforward way. as well as anger! so in the scenario where shauna freezes after their fight, jackie would certainly be feeling a lot of guilt, but she doesn't need or want shauna to remind her, she could just apologize. and she's feeling a lot of anger, but she'd be able to say it to shauna's (hallucinated) face instead of putting it through some twisted alchemical process that turns it into something else. like, i think she actually does have a chance of getting closure in a way that shauna doesn't because shauna would never let herself get closure because then she'd have nothing left to fuel her guilt/self-destruction complex.

i think jackie would want closure for her immediate anger and guilt about shauna's death, and because she wants it, she'd be capable of getting it. but after that's dealt with (assuming she survives long enough to deal with it), or in a scenario where jackie doesn't know about shauna's betrayal/isn't responsible for her death, i really think (and i just made myself sooo miserable realizing this btw so you're welcome. or i'm sorry) that the thing that would cause jackie eternal and relentless pain for the rest of her life would be the immense regret and the feeling that she didn't love shauna enough, or didn't love her right. and her hallucinations of shauna would, by and large, simply be an outpouring of all the love she didn't get to show her in life (and imagining the reciprocation of that love that she always wished shauna would give her).

[forestshadow-wolf]

Thoughts on "In a week" by Hozier because @rainerestored has infected my brain (like a bastard (affectionate)) (I blame you)

I have many many thoughts on this, and they're all competing, and not all of them go together so... vvv

Also idk how to explain this but Hozier is a Ghost-coded soapghost artist and The Crane Wives is a soap-coded soapghost artist

Ok onto my poorly strung together thoughts

(1)

So this song give me what I like to call "fatalistic love" vibes. And by this I don't mean that they love eachother so much that it kills them or that it kills each other. I mean I think that when they die it will be with them too young, but side by side.

I think when they die it will with bleach white skeletal hand in bleach white skeletal hand. With just the barest layering of rich, dark, earth- soil ocvering their bones. It'll stretch over their bones like a layer of earthen skin, connecting them together forever.

They'll have the most peaceful-unpeaceful death. It'll be on a battlefield of death that won't ever be touched after the last stray bullet is fired.

Their bodies will be forgotten, holding eachother. They will be a moment of peace in the midst of chaos. The earth around them will be torn and scarred, and tragic. Grass will grow over their skeletons, claiming them for the wildlife now.

And then when the earth reclaims it's ruins, rainbow beetles will become their new eyes. And a pair of mated red foxed will nest between their ribcages. And as the foxed grow they will move on to a bigger home, to a burrow. And a pair of lapwing birds will build a nice nest atop their hearts amongst the lush grasses that have grown around them.

Life will move on and it will whisk them along as well, even after their deaths, ESPECIALLY after their deaths.

(2)

Also I think about them running off base for like 2 days or something without telling anyone, even price.

They go to alaska or somewhere, where they can see the stars for like 90+ percent of the day. (This is important)

They pack a car-load of snacks and drive out to the middle of nowhere. The lay in the dew-damp grass, stargazing for hours on end.

They just needed to get away from the battlefield, all the noises, and bloodshed, and protocols, and responsibilities.

Neither can remember who planted the spark, but they took it and ran, coaxing it into a raging bonfire until they couldn't fight the urge to just GO

They both shed their titles, and technology, and namesakes for a bit. They're just john and simon out there. They become a part of nature for a bit.

They watch little lightning bugs flying around. And the little nighttime creatures creep out to say hello to the world.

They lay in the grass, hand in hand, breathing in the dew-y breeze, and they could both imagine laying here for eternity.

Eventually they do have to go back. They take their time. Lingering and taking as many stops as possible.

I think, when they get back, price was gonna yell at the. For leaving without notice, but then he sees them and he just smiles. Because they look... lighter. Simon looks the happiest he's ever seen him be. And soap is leaning his head on Simon's shoulder, and Simon's head rests on soap's. Price just welcomes them back, and redirects as many missions as he can to other task forces because he's never seen his boys so as peace.

[This one kinda ran away from me and I forgot what I was saying but you get it...]

There's more to this but I'm gonna make it a pert 2 bc this got kinda long

[hat-guy-official]

3, 16, 37, 46, 59, 64, and 94 for the 100 questions please

((I’m gonna answer these out of character as like. mini lore dumps bc that makes more sense to me (bc he would not answer half of these truthfully lmfao), but if you want ic responses feel free to ask!))

3. What is their biggest motivator?

At the moment? Finding himself outside of the context of other people, and outside of the context of the people that have hurt him. I think this is explored plenty in-game, but it’s so good for him to be away from everything he’s ever known and just… meet people who understand him and his past and are committed to helping him reconcile that.

16. What are they like when they’ve gotten too little sleep?

He is a bitch. I’m not sure if he actually needs sleep, but if he does? More than likely it robs him of the already minuscule filter that he has. Totally capable of handling himself in serious situations (because I can’t imagine he got a whole lot of sleep while he was with the fatui), but now? He strikes me as the type to complain until he gets some rest. He would hate falling asleep anywhere but his own room, though. Vulnerability issues.

37. When was the last time they cried?

This is the main reason I wanted to answer these ooc—because I don’t think he’d be willing to share this information. I don’t think he cries often anymore, but he definitely shed a tear when he got his vision. Probably a couple of times since, simply because of how differently he’s being treated by people around him, and over the course of unpacking all of the trauma that he has. Sort of a return to humanity, I guess, considering the reason that Raiden cast him out in the first place.

46. Is there anyone they would trust with their lives?

I think he’d be very hesitant to answer this one with his whole chest, but definitely Nahida. That one is obvious to me. Within this little universe that my blog revolves around, I think he also really looks up to Etoiles and would probably entrust his life to him. Despite his rampant trust issues Scara does strike me as someone with a lot of loyalty and nowhere to put it. That goes for Lucien too, but I think he feels more physically secure w Etoiles and more emotionally secure w Lucien. If that makes sense.

59. What are their views on death?

(TW!!) Oh, boy. I mean, it’s heavily implied that the whole Irminsul thing was somewhat equivalent to an attempt on his own life, right? Potentially the same thing with the burning house. But when we look at that and then at the summer event, he strikes me as someone who has done a lot of healing off-screen (and on it, too). I don’t think he’s ever been someone who actively wants to die, per se, but he’s definitely learning to appreciate the actual value of his own life. He and Xiao should have a talk. All that to say that I think he and death have had a toxic relationship for a while and he’s finally walking away from it. Good for him.

64. Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, what is their first reaction?

Probably disgust. I like to think that he doesn’t actually despise sweet things, but he definitely holds a grudge against them. It makes sense for him to prefer bitter stuff, regardless.

94. Outlook on life?

He’s getting there. I see him as someone who wants a lot of things, but just doesn’t know how to attain them. He wants attachment, wants friends, wants security, but he doesn’t like the process of actually acquiring any of those things because they make him too vulnerable. That’s enough to make a man bitter, but I also think he’s been irreversibly tainted by Nahida’s positivity, as well. The more things come to him naturally, the more he seems to settle into himself. I think after the summer event he’s definitely a more positive person, as well. His dialogue struck me as more playful, more ‘reluctant hero’ than ‘villain turning a new leaf’—which are similar, but the wording is important!!

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

MICKEYYYYYY MY LITTLE ANGEL we’re having a crying competition i fear i shed real tears reading this ………………..

I LOVE UUUUUUUU ALWAYS FOREVER ETERNALLY i’m gonna get right into it as always but first of all i need to cup ur face and look into ur eyes and tell u that EVERYYY single comment and reaction u bless me with makes me smile so wide all the time :((((( tysm as always for reading my silly little fics n for being so kind and thoughtful 👉👈 i am in fact Proposing satoru has competition we’re sitting on ur bed fighting over who gets to feed u soup smh ….. 😒😒😒 sadly he’s winning he keeps pushing me off the bed </3

MY BABBYYYYYYYYYYY:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( oh it feels sooo weird for him to be like this huh:((((((((((((((((((( look i am not immune to his charms anyway i think i would already have him wrapped up in a blanket i know he thinks he's strong or whatever but where there's a will there's a way okay he will be bundled up and in my lap like a baby bc that's what he is 

IMMEDIATELY SO REALLLL he IS a whole baby :(( i just think he needsss to be babied so bad he needs to be bundled up in a fluffy blanket he needs to be spooned he needs to be kissed silly it’s true. u could fix him mickey i truly believe it. this is how im imagining toru after ur done w him btw

"HONEY" WAHHHHHHHHHHHH i love that nickname it's so sweet (pun intended ig)

HADDDD TO MENTION THIS BC I AGREE AND I THINK IT’S THE GOJO PETNAME EVER? it’s my favorite for him bc i sincerely believe he would use every petname on planet earth for u BUT i think he would only call u honey when he’s feeling particularly vulnerable…. :(( sniffle. it’s just such a sweet silky lil petname and i think it would sound so pretty when he’s a little too tired to be cocky and he only has the energy to be your satoru yk….. he’s your beloved and you’re his beloved and it feels so right to call you honey bc u make everything feel so sweet ☹️☹️ i am mayyyyybe a little ill abt him but it’s fine we both are we’re chilling we’re down bad .. etc etc..

1000000% THAT HE DOESN'T LIKE TO BRING PEOPLE OVER OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT SO MUCH HE'S ALWAYS AT YOUR PLACE OR AT SUGU'S OR AT SHOKO'S HE'S NEVER AT HOME BC IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE HOME DOES IT? IT'S JUST A HOUSE FILLED WITH FURNITURE THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS ARE THE PEOPLE HE LOVES AND THEY'RE NOT THERE SO HE JUST DESPISES THE PLACE i think only his own room is fully decorated with figurines and pictures and i feel like he even keeps his game console in his room too and then the rest of the house is super bland. like genuinely feels like it's about to be sold or whatever. he even likes to shower at your place or sugu's or shoko's and i think that nobody would really even say anything about it. yeah. brainrot. i love him so much ari. i'm so glad we have him. he's baby and he deserves all of the love in the world. wait i rambled right after i read that "he doesn’t invite you over very often" so i'm only now getting to the next part and you're saying the same stuff.... WAIT ACTUALLY THOUGH YOU'RE SAYING THE SAME THINGS THAT IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S ABOUT TO BE SOLD WAIIITTT THIS SOUNDS WEIRD I PROMISE I DIDN'T READ THAT PART AH AND HIS BEDROOM TOO THE TRINKETS AND THE PICTURES AND THE CONSOLE ARI DO WE ACTUALLY SHARE A BRAIN WHAT THE FUCK

PHDJFJFJFJKFKFJ MICKEYYYYYYYY WE’RE SO GOOD???? WE’RE SO GREAT?????? OUR BRAINS ARE KISSING IT’S TRUEEEE THEY CAN’T KEEP THEIR HANDS OFF EACH OTHER no but i’m sooo glad we agree i think abt this constantly!!! ☹️☹️☹️ i really do think he’s the kind of person who’s super touchy and friendly and loud but his loneliness is so blatant when u finally spot it. he loves company and he loves his friends but when there’s no one else around his own sense of isolation is all he has. he’s incredibly closed off but it’s subtle, he SEEMS open and honest and that’s also why it’s so devastating when you notice it. satoru is the kind of friend you could know for years and consider yourself close to but then one day you belatedly realize that you don’t really know a single thing about him. the kind of person who loves being at your house and taking in every single detail because your home reveals so much of who you are as a person….. and then he has to leave and goes back to his own home and it’s just. empty. there’s nothing to look at.

yeahhhhhhhh he makes me feel kind of sick actually. HIS STRUGGLES ARE VERY PERSONAL TO ME so i always love getting the chance to depict them like this….. and to realize that ppl see him the same way!!! :’3 we are holding hands mickey. u and me and gojo. no but i think he’s very much like a stray cat who eats from the bowl you put out every night but doesn’t want to get too close, doesn’t want to enter your home and get too attached, doesn’t want to compromise himself… so he just sleeps under the hood of a car and looks into your home and the golden light seeping from it and dreams about what it would feel like to bask in it. (lighting strikes me down and kills me immediately)

😐 you will be punished for this. YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT. YOU CAN'T. TAKE IT BACK. RIGHT NOW! of course he doesn't want to part with it it's his sick best friend. they hold each other in the dark.

MICKEY WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUUUUUUUU DO U HAVE ANY IDEA HOW VIOLENTLY MY BRAIN COMBUSTED AFTER READING THIS 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IM NOT KIDDING I THINK I HEARD SOMETHING UNSCREW ITSELF IN MY HEAD you are a sick and twisted individual. (affectionate) no but genuinely how dare u write better than me in the rb of my own fic do u have no shame 😭😭😭 PHDKFJJD THEY HOLD EACH OTHER IN THE DARKKKK THEY DO at some point the monster under the bed almost starts to feel comforting doesn’t it…. like an old friend….. and it loves you back….. sigh. i honestly think satoru would rather stay in his loneliness where it’s safe than risk getting too attached and it’s so heartbreaking mickey :(( sighhhh. he makes me so sad …..

BIG DREAMY SIGHHHHHH should i call him my baby again or am i being too annoying already actually i couldn't care any lessMYY BABBYYYY:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( I NEED TO PAT HIS HEAD:(

mickey don’t ever feel ashamed for telling the truth HE’S OUR BABYYYYY and he deserves all the pats in the world ……. using this as an excuse to say. i think headpats are his weakness. he’s constantly patting ur head and his students’ heads and sugushoko’s heads but the moment u turn the tables on him he just kinda melts…. i’m weak for headpats too i know my own kind ok. i KNOW he purrs when u give him head rubs it’s simply in his blood he’s putty in ur hands immediately

actually this whole paragraph was insane you are one of a kind ari you know that? i'm so grateful we get to take a bite out of your art you're changing us all and i mean that

WAHHHHHHH I CRIEDDDDD MCIKEY U NEED TO STOP WHAT IF I GET A HEART ATTACK …. u r the sweetest always u say so many kind things all the time my heart can’t keep up sigh …. sniffling and hiccuping a bit. thamk u. T—T

WAILING LIKE A BABY RIGHT NOWWWW😭😭😭😭😭 HE JUST WANTS A HUG HE WANTS YOU TO PROTECT HIM HE WANTS YOU TO KEEP HIM SAFE HE WANTS TO FEEL YOU AGAINST HIM HE WANTS TO BE GREEDY HE WANTS YOUR LOVE OH MY GODDDDD

YOU GET ITTTTTTTTT ALWAYS HE’S A LOVING MACHINE …… i think he’s Wired to be a caretaker like it’s in his dna it’s in his blood but. a part of him.. a tiny lil part….. wants to be taken care of soooo badly. he’s scared of u bc u make him want to be greedy. u make him want a lot more than he feels he deserves. SIGHHHHH I’M SO TIRED this whole rb is just gonna be us making each other sad over satoru gojo huh …….

I LOVE HIM SOOOOO MUCHH ARI WHAT THE FUCKK your gojo is always so funny and so perfect thank you for sharing him with me i mean with us ig....

<3 <3 <3 my gojo is written specifically for u actually DON’T TELL ANYONE THO it’s a secret … no but i am in fact genuinely giggling + kicking my feet + twirling my hair at this i feel so giddy at the idea that u like my gojo he’s the loml i’m so happy that some gojo lovers like him T—T ….. he’s my cute little intimacy-fearing kittycat i need to pick him up by the scruff of his neck and squish his cheeks until he’s whining at me to stop

I AM SO HAPPY THAT HE'S ACTING INSUFFERABLE AGAIN YOU'RE SO RIGHT and i love you calling him a big blanket you know how i love my weighted blankets hehehehhehe

PUT THAT IN JUST FOR U BTW ‼️‼️ sprinkling in lil details for my beloved mutuals is my love language actually i am kissing u gently on the cheek :33

"HONEYBEE" 😭😭😭😭😭 HE WOULD HE SO WOULD CALL YOU THAT😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i wholeheartedly believe that he'd call you the most obscure fucking nicknames and well... i'd eat that shit up okay i would fucking love that............... 

RIGHT RIGHT RIGHTTTT…… mickey i knew !! i could trust u !!!!! he’s such a sucker for silly nicknames,….. sweet lil silly petnames that make u scoff and laugh and blush…… u are. his everything. his little honeybee. <3 <3 <3 i think that if u liked it he would go out of his way to come up w even MORE obscure silly petnames and he would get soo smug when it makes u laugh <333

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭you know him so well it feels so good to read ari!gojo like he's REALLLL THIS IS HIM!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE GUY!!! you're so good you're wonderful you're amazing and i love u

MICKEY I LOVE U SO MUCHHHHHH my gojo is in Love w u btw he told me ………. he is staring at u adoringly he’s so smitten it makes him look silly. I’M SO HAPPY U LIKE HIM I LOVEEEEE UR GOJO SO MUCH TOO in my brain they r always holding hands they r friends :) little itty bitty kitty cats

and him thinking about all of the things you could do tomorrow:((((((( the crepes the arcade the theater i am just a puddle of goo it's very hard to type like this he wants to live with youuuuuuu:(((((

HE WANTS TO LIVE WITH UUU 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 sniffle …. personally i think gojo + the Concept Of Home is the best combo ever i just think he should be allowed to find a home for himself to find a place to rest his eyes !! a place where he feels safe …. sobbbbbb he just feels so safe with u. u are his home truly. i’m so emotional abt him it’s a little silly actually i am wiping ur tears while crying all over the place too …….. the grip he has on our sanity needs to be psychologically evaluated i think

ohhhh i could pick out so many more comments of urs bc there is never enough to say abt our little guy :’33 i do truly love him so much always and forever i’m alwayssss happy to fawn over him w u mickey.. at the end of the day he’s our baby. our little itty baby boy. sniffle …. tysm as always for being so sweet and thoughtful and funny i appreciate u so dearly T_T !! here is a palm sized kitty gojo for u as a treat he’s very nice and sweet <33 doesn’t even bite!! I LOVE YOUUUUUU <3 <3 <3

ask me to leave and i’ll stay forever ; satoru gojo

synopsis; satoru is stubborn; even when plagued by such a high fever, he insists there’s no need to take care of him. thankfully, you’re equally as stubborn.

word count; 10.8k

contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, implied non-sorcerer!reader, sickfic, reverse comfort, sickening amounts of fluff, lots of petnames, satoru gojo vs the mortifying ordeal of being loved, just a tinyyyy bit of angst if u rlly squint, literally just satoru being pampered for like 10k words straight, he’s cute when he’s sick but still manages to be a lil shit <33, he’s also a huge sap you have been warned!!

a/n; what can i say, im a proud member of the ”satoru gojo needs to be babied relentlessly” club <33 he’s just a little guy!! tagging @catchuuu my beloved for being the sweetest enjoy a healthy dose of sick sleepy satoru <33 i am tagging all toru enjoyers in spirit btw i love u all

you’ve never seen satoru like this before.

head buried into a big pillow, white locks tousled and sticking to his forehead — skin sweaty, hot to the touch, with a flushed face to match. heavy breaths fall from his parted lips, blinking in and out of consciousness, squeezing his eyes shut.

it’s nothing like the joyous, loud, cocky satoru you’re so used to. he’s weak. he’s fatigued.

he’s completely, undoubtedly sick.

”really, baby,” he slurs, raspy and dry. still attempting to raise himself up, arms straining under the weight of his shivering body. ”there’s no need f’ —”

unceremoniously, his limbs give out beneath him, and he tumbles right back down; a meek little wince escaping his throat as his face falls back into the mattress. the sound makes your heart squeeze tightly in your chest.

”ah. that’s…” he tries to speak, a disgruntled hum muffled by the sheets. ”… annoying.”

satoru sounds frustrated. you can tell he’s resisting the urge to close his eyes, a little helpless, unable to even move properly, like a fish out of water. he’s still breathing unevenly, still sweating, still burning up — you can practically feel it, from where you’re standing, crouched down by his bed.

you’ve never, ever seen satoru like this. you’ve seen him sniffling during flu season, wrecked with headaches during rainy season. you’ve seen him vulnerable; not many times, but enough that it matters. 

but you’ve never seen him like this.

(and it makes you terribly anxious.)

”satoru, please just —” you croak, gnawing at your bottom lip. trying desperately to swallow the worry in your chest. ”don’t overdo it. please?”

you can hear the anxious little timbre of your own voice, and you can feel the frown tugging at your lips. but you can’t do anything to quell the insistent pitter patter of your heartbeat, the ache that accompanies it. satoru’s lying down, still trying to gather the strength to reassure you, even through the feverish haze clouding his mind. 

he looks so small.

this wasn’t what you were expecting to see, today. you were expecting to meet up with satoru, and see his happy little grin, those tiny dimples and freckles that only show themselves in the light of the sun. you were expecting to feel the weight of his hand in yours, as you strolled down to the new crêpe stand he’s been wanting to check out since he first found their instagram account.

you were expecting to see him happy. healthy. a little obnoxious, a little annoying — but hopelessly sweet. all the love you could ever need, molded into a human shape. your little angel.

a sigh slips from your lips. you can’t help it; because satoru is just so stubborn, so closed off, and he can be such an idiot sometimes. you knew something was off the moment he sent you that text, asking you oh so charmingly, apologetically, if you could postpone your date for just an hour or so. you knew something was wrong, but he still wouldn’t let up until you brought out the 🥺 emojis. 

and then he told you he was fine. it’s all he ever is, apparently.

my throat’s just a little scratchy, is all. wouldn’t want you to miss out on the voice you love so much, yeah?

give me an hour and i’ll be perfect for you. <3

moron.

he’s curled up in a fetal position, trying to stop himself from shivering, muttering little reassurances under his breath that you can’t make out. wearing ripped jeans and a nice jacket, like he was fully prepared to head out like this — like he genuinely thought an hour, some painkillers and a dream would be enough to chase away a fever this severe. like he was so desperate to see you he was fully willing to take that risk.

moron. moron. he should’ve called you the moment he realized he was sick. instead, you had to coax him into letting you come over, with a flurry of sad and cute emojis you know make him go weak at the knees when they’re coming from you.

and here you are. in satoru’s house, in front of his bed, trying to convince him that he is, in fact, sick. 

but he just won’t listen.

”just — gimme a couple minutes, honey?” your boyfriend mumbles, barely coherent, stringing words together haphazardly. awfully dizzy. ”i just need the painkillers to kick in, i promise i —”

”satoru.”

there’s a sad tint to your voice, now. unmistakable. one that satoru notices, even through the feverish, muddy filter over his reality. 

and it makes him quiet down.

(he doesn’t want to disappoint you.)

as gently as you can, you settle down on the bed, eyes painfully softened. overflowing with care. towering over him, leaning close — to press your lips against his scorching forehead, brushing away his sweaty bangs with a palpable tenderness. your voice soothing, coming out almost as a low coo. you’re frustrated, and exasperated.

but most of all, you’re worried.

”go back to sleep,” you hum, a gentle command. your hand finds his, cold skin meeting warm, tracing circles over his palm. ”i’ll take care of you.”

”there’s no need,” he mutters, instantaneous. so used to denying kindness. 

but he curls an arm around your waist, anyway, tugging you closer; a little needy. like you’re much too far away for his liking. finally beginning to settle down, coaxed into resting by the soft touches your grace him with. it’s only a matter of time.

so you keep your lips against his forehead, cradling his slender fingers in yours, murmuring little whispered reassurances. and before you know it, his lashes have fluttered shut, like a white dove landing on the ground. he still looks so troubled, so meek. you can’t resist the urge to soothe him, hand cupping his face, thumb smoothing over the apple of his cheek. you watch him lean into it, eyes dripping with care. your poor baby. 

for a couple precious moments, you allow yourself to indulge in the sight. even like this, he looks a bit like an angel, a painting come to life. like one wrong brushstroke could smudge him. 

so you’re delicate, as you trace little hearts into his skin, delicate as you maneuver his body enough to peel the layers of clothing off him — leaving him in only an oversized tee and a pair of briefs. satoru can only whine, softly, so quiet you barely even hear him. so disoriented, on the brink of falling into a deep slumber. some part of him is trying to resist, you’re sure, still agonizing over the date he’s missing out on. as if anything matters more than his health.

but it doesn’t work. he can only let out a tiny groan, hopelessly pliant as you tuck him in, pulling a big blanket over his shoulders. you card through his hair, another soft kiss planted on his sweaty forehead — and your hand stays between his locks until you’re sure he’s asleep. his breathing mellows out, his grip around your waist loosens, seeking comfort from you even in his dreams.

you’d crawl under the blankets with him, but you have work to do.

stealing one final glance at your fever-ridden lover, your heartbeat ricochets. he still looks so meek, all warm and sweaty, shirt sticking to his skin. a frown tugs at your bottom lip.

satoru is always so stubborn, refusing to lean on others for support. you wish he had called you immediately, nagged at you to come baby him. sure, you might’ve sighed in faux exasperation, and teased him a little, but it still would’ve made you feel happy. useful. and you would’ve done it in a heartbeat. maybe, if you just prove that you can take care of him properly, he’ll do it next time.

so you stand up, leaning down to press your lips against his forehead one last time, and make your way towards the kitchen.

satoru’s house is spacious. a little too spacious, enough for at least three people to live in comfortably; nice furniture, an expensive sofa in the living room, a large tv you’re almost certain he only keeps around for white noise. such are the ways of the rich, you suppose. he doesn’t invite you over very often, so you’ve never had the chance to get very affiliated with the space. it’s always the other way around — him, waiting for you on the couch when you get home, chirping out an unconvincing don’t even worry about it, baby! when you ask how he got in without a key. or him, showing up at your doorstep in the middle of the night, filling the sleepy silence with jokes to distract you from the bags under his eyes.

(he likes it when you cling to him in your sleep — he sleeps a lot better that way. that’s what he told you, at least, when you brought him coffee in bed that one time. a little glimmer of honesty.)

he stays over so often he might as well just move in, but you aren’t really sure how to even approach that subject. some part of you fears it’d be too much, too intimate, that he’d pack his bags and run away. bringing all his secrets with him, that soft laughter you’ve grown so fond of. so you figure it’s better to let him make a home out of yours, let him curl up on your couch and snack on the candy you hid in your kitchen cabinets. that’s safe for him.

and now that you’ve seen his home up close — if you can even call it that — you think you’re starting to understand his preference. because it’s spacious, yes, but also empty. save for expensive furniture and fake houseplants, there isn’t anything to indicate that the apartment belongs to him, that he feels comfortable there. like he hasn’t even bothered to make it his. like it’s about to be sold, and you’re just one of the potential buyers, checking the place out. admiring the patterns of the floorboards and the walls.

it doesn’t feel like satoru at all. 

his own bedroom was another story, a much more pleasant one. a lot more satoru. filled with little trinkets, key charms and souvenirs and silly figurines. a framed photo of three students by the windowsill, an old uniform hanging by his closet, socks strewn about here and there. a dying houseplant. comic books and movie posters and a ps5 you don’t think he’s touched since he finished spiderman 2. a king sized bed, that makes him look like a spoiled little princess when he’s lying in it, next to a cat plushie you won for him at a fair. knowing he actually sleeps with it kind of makes you want to cry.

there’s this particular scent, too, lingering in the air. mellow, nostalgic, the kind that soothes you with just a whiff; a blend between sunlight, expensive cologne, and something sweet. it clings to all his favorite clothes, to his skin. you’d live in it if you could. 

something constricts, inside your chest — like thorny vines strangling your beating heart, pressing down ever so slightly. just thinking about it, about him, about his distressed expression as his head hit the pillow. making your way over to his kitchen, getting yourself affiliated with the space, preparing to make a good soup for his fever. the fridge is almost empty, save for sweets and that one drink you like. the takeout boxes on his kitchen table tells you all you need to know.

it only makes you worry more.

luckily, you were clever enough to buy your own ingredients on the way here. chop, chop, into tiny little pieces. chicken soup should help, shouldn’t it? it’s all you can focus on, all you can hope for. anything is fine; you just want to help him, be of use somehow. he does so much for you.

you just want to give some of it back.

satoru’s loneliness is a subtle thing. flexible, alert, slipping away at the slightest sign of knowing eyes. for someone who’s so often surrounded by people, cracking jokes and laughing louder than anyone else, he doesn’t seem to make any noise when he’s alone. he curls into himself, just a bit, and a kind of reminiscence smooths over the contours of his face. 

that’s when you see him. that lonely, lonely guy. resigned to his self-imposed isolation, paradoxically yearning for something more. watching as the cherry trees bloom, like they’ll give him the answers he seeks once they bear fruit.

but the moment you come into view, he smiles. knowing you won’t push it — that you’ll let him take his time. that you’ll let him flee, just a little. 

still, you can’t help but wish he’d lean on you a little more. you wish you could chase his loneliness away with a pitchfork, but it’s a fickle creature. you somehow doubt he wants to part with it. 

all you can do is love him. love him, love him, and love him some more; until he’s had his fill.

(you’re not sure he ever will. it’s a good thing, a very good thing, because you’re almost certain you’ll never run out.) 

and that’s why you’re here. in his ghost of a home, his kitchen, pouring water into a large pot. tender, sprinkling love over every single action, every slice and dice, every piece of chicken and veggies thrown into the boiling water. you try and you try, hoping it’ll reach him.

but before you can make another attempt, something reaches you, instead.

two long arms curl around your waist, suddenly, something warm and soft pressing itself against your back. and you almost flinch, completely caught up in the stirring of the soup, unsure of how much time has passed since you began. it jolts you out of your thoughts. 

you know who it is, though. never mind the fact that he’s the only other person in the apartment; you know it’s him by his touch alone, the weight of his arms, that particular scent that surrounds him. like memories of summer.

it’s awfully sweet, the way he clings to you, the soft little blissful sigh that slips from his lips. but before you can feel moved at the domesticity of the gesture, worry clouds your senses. he doesn’t even get the chance to speak.

”satoru —” you place a palm on his forearm, craning your head to look back at him. his forehead rests against your shoulder, and his eyes are closed. he’s still so warm, too warm. ”what are you doing here? you should be resting.” 

your boyfriend mumbles something, under his breath, something that your ears can’t quite digest. he shifts, a little, as if getting ready to put on some sort of act — to smile and joke, or laugh and tease you. you can imagine what he’d say if he wasn’t in such a feverish state; he’d hug you from behind, a low purr of what’cha up to? whispered right into your ear. then you’d jolt, and he’d giggle sheepishly, satisfied with the reaction.

but now, all he can do is cough. still leaning against you, gripping onto your midriff a little more desperately than usual. you step away from the stove, turning around, making sure your hands never leave his. looking up at him with concern in your eyes, noticing his little frown.

”c’mon, you need to lie down.” you reach for his cheek, cupping it in your palm, and he practically melts into it. enjoying the chilly sensation to his fever-ridden skin. “the soup’ll be finished soon, okay?”

”… you made,” he tries, syllables falling from his lips haphazardly. ”soup —” a series of coughs. they cut him off, and the worry in your chest only deepens. 

“don’t push yourself, okay? you’re really sick, dummy.” satoru pouts, but doesn’t say anything, only clinging to you tighter when you usher him away. “let’s go back to your room, alright?”

but he won’t budge. he’s so sleepy, so sick and delirious, putting all his body weight on you. you try your best not to stumble beneath it.

”honey,” you plead, holding him securely in your embrace. his arms around your waist, your hands on his shoulders. ”work with me, please? just gotta get you back to bed —”

”’s…” he whispers, suddenly, a raspy little thing. scratchy, meek, awfully earnest; you wonder if he’s too sick not to be. ”… too lonely without you.” 

a moment passes. your breath hitches pitifully, at the base of your throat.

satoru is hugging you so tightly, as if you could disappear at any moment, slip away if he doesn’t keep you close. he’s holding you as if pleading for comfort, for a touch of safety. as if he needs you. if his meek little admission hadn’t already melted your heart the marrow, that thought certainly would’ve done the job.

taking a moment to collect yourself, you inhale, face surely aflame. satoru just nuzzles into your shoulder, too tired to say anything else, wanting to be close to you. it’s a wonder your knees don’t buckle.

gently, you let your hand trail upwards, palm smoothing down his hair. softly, like he’s a clingy, overgrown cat. ”sorry,” you start, just a little breathless. ”i’ll be with you, okay? won’t leave you alone. i promise.”

there’s an earnesty in your words that you doubt you could ever fake. satoru must hear it too, you think, because he finally begins to work with you. allowing you to stumble towards his bedroom, supporting his weight.

but once you make it to his bed, he still refuses to let go of you.

”toru, gotta go finish that soup. ’n make you some tea.” you rub his back, soothingly, as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck. shaking his head and emitting a throaty groan, only squeezing you tighter when you try to guide him under the covers. how cruel of him, to act so cute when said soup is most likely boiling over by the stove. ”please, sweetie? it won’t take long. i promise. you can go back to sleep.”

another groggy huff. you’re both still standing by the edge of the bed, and satoru still won’t let you leave. all you can do is sigh, smearing a little kiss against his neck. 

he squirms, ever so slightly, and you get an idea.

so you keep pressing little kisses against his skin, knowing just how to make him melt. feeling him relax in your embrace, snuggle into your chest, so pliant that he lets you tuck him in — as long as your lips stay pressed against his jaw. before he can realize what’s happening, you grab hold of the blanket, draping it over him; his half-lidded eyes blinking up at you. you press a final kiss against his forehead, grabbing the cat plushie from the edge of the bed and placing it close enough for satoru to reach if need be.

”i’ll hurry, toru. be a good boy and stay here, alright?” 

a teasing lilt sneaks into your voice, coaxed out by how adorable your boyfriend looks like this; baby blue eyes all droopy, snowy hair messy as it falls across the cushion he’s resting on. blinking sluggishly, grunting a little in response. 

when you scurry off the bed and make your way towards the door, you glance back at him. he’s still looking in your direction, with half-lidded eyes, and your chest aches. ”i’ll be back soon, baby,” you try to soothe him. “try to sleep.”

this time, you hurry. body working almost on autopilot, images of your boyfriend still tugging at your heartstrings like he’s arranging an orchestra, moving your legs forward. before you know it, you’re walking back, carrying a tray with both your hands. steam wafts up from the hot soup and the warm cup of tea, shaking a little as you walk, a pair of painkillers in your pocket. just in case he needs more. an eager, pulsating joy rushes through your veins — now you can be with him, tend to him, not leave him alone in a room so like him you wish you could stay there forever. 

your footsteps are light, almost careful as they cross the threshold. satoru stirs, waiting for you to come to his side, looking like a kicked puppy in his giant bed. he tries to lift himself up, but it looks like it requires an intense amount of focus, like his elbows could buckle any second. 

”careful,” you croon, hurrying over, placing the tray on the nightstand. gently pushing him back down on the mattress. he complies almost instantly, too out of it to put up a real fight. staring at you, as if in awe.

to satoru, you appear almost as an angel, a somewhat blurry figure that he recognizes without looking. your very presence is soothing, like a lullaby in human form. with the hazy filter clouding his mind, he can’t even seem to form words correctly — all satoru can focus on is you. your movements, the lilt of your voice, a cold hand dulling the heat of his forehead.  

his fever still hasn’t gone down. you try and muster a smile, but you’re sure it must look painfully coated in unease. crouching down, you place your elbows on the bed, your jaw meeting the mattress. you’re at eye level with him, now.

”hey,” you start, low and comforting. you don’t want to be too loud. ”sorry it took so long.”

using what little energy he has left, satoru crosses the distance between you, inching closer and closer. noticing it, you reach a hand out to cup his cheek — lips quick to find his forehead. a barely audible sigh leaves him, and you smile.

”d’you think you can eat?” you whisper, gazing at him fondly. treating him a little like a baby, maybe, but you can’t help it when he’s like this. quiet as a mouse. ”i made soup and tea… sound okay?”

he tries to make a noise. it comes out sounding like a strange blend between a dissatisfied groan and an affirming hum, but he still ends up nodding slightly. you wonder if indulging you is ingrained into his bone structure. 

”… okay. think you can sit up, toru?”

once again, your boyfriend only hums — but he does begin to move, trying to hoist himself up, wobbling pitifully. you help, keeping him steady until his spine meets the headboard. slumped against it, he blinks slowly, feverishly.

”thank you.” you press a chaste kiss against his cheek, before reaching for the cup of tea, the scent of chamomile and lavender filling your senses. you blow on it softly. ”here. it should help with your throat, so try to drink a bit, okay? s’ got honey in it.”

silently, he accepts the cup, bringing it to his lips. when he takes a sip, you catch the slightest hint of a grimace on his lips; even with your warning of careful, it’s hot, you think he must have managed to burn his tongue. 

satoru keeps his thoughts to himself, not wanting to worry you. but he can’t say bringing himself to drink it is an easy endeavor, with how sweaty it makes him feel, how it forces him to acknowledge how painfully dry his throat is. how he can’t even taste the herbs.

he wants to be good for you, though.

so he gulps it down, slowly, managing to sip almost all of it until you decide to give him a break. compared to this morning, he already feels just a little better, a little less like he’s in a fever dream. you’re sitting by the bedside, so patient, so caring. he can’t take his eyes off you, even now. clearing his throat, attempting to get used to speaking again. ”thanks.”

the mutter sounds strained, but slightly easier on the ears, easier to make out than before. courtesy of the honey, you assume. gosh, you hadn’t realized you’d begun to miss his voice so much. 

”no problem,” you hum, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. “think you can eat something? or is that too much?”

”’course,” he croaks. there’s a slight sense of liveliness in his eyes that wasn’t there before, but before he can continue, he’s caught off by a small coughing fit. harmless, but sufficient in making you worry. 

”no need to force yourself,” you soothe, patting down his head, watching as he quiets down. the tea might’ve given him a temporary energy boost, but you still don’t want him to overdo it. “just relax, satoru.”

he hums, weakly, and you reward him with a light ruffle of his hair. then you direct your attention to the soup on the nightstand, still hot, smelling of vegetable broth and fresh chicken and coriander. you bring the bowl down to your lap, and take a spoonful of the soup, blowing on it like you did with the tea. bringing it towards his lips. 

”i dunno if it’ll taste very good,” you admit, scratching absently at the back of your neck. ”but it should help with the fever, at least. i’d be happy if you could eat a bit.”

as his lips make contact with the metal of the spoon, satoru can’t help but let himself be swept away. he still feels a little too hazy, too feverish to really comprehend what’s happening; he feels oddly bare like this, vulnerable, a little afraid of what might come out of his mouth if he doesn’t keep it shut. so he opts to accept the treatment he’s receiving, not putting up a fight or making a fuss. not meeting your expectant eyes.

(he feels a little shy, being spoonfed by you. how very unlike him.)

the soup does feel soothing. he thinks he can even get a sense of the taste, how hard you must’ve worked on it. but more than anything, the way you’re acting is like balm to his soul — looking at him so kindly, treating him so tenderly. offering him spoon after spoon with gentle words of encouragement. being babied in such a way makes him feel so oddly content that he’s almost embarrassed. it should be the other way around. 

yet here you are, spoonfeeding him soup that you made yourself, because he’s sick, even though he hates to admit it, and you care about him. he allows the information to linger in the back of his head, for a while, wallowing in the comfort it brings him. fully comprehending it would take too much of a toll on him, in this state. 

satoru basks in the intimacy of the situation, and so do you. brushing strands of hair away when they stick to his skin, pressing your lips against his forehead to check his temperature. you keep doing it until satoru’s appetite dwindles.

”alright, that should be fine —” you glance down at the bowl, now roughly half-empty. more than enough, you think. ”uhh… how do you feel?”

”… better,” satoru answers, truthfully, the ghost of a smile on his glossy lips. ”thank you.”

for a second, you only stare, saying nothing. there’s something in satoru’s expression that catches you off guard, something that’s a little hard to identify. is it the way the light reflects off his skin, his pupils? the red, feverish flush of his skin? that flimsy little smile? or is it the honesty in his eyes, the way he’s looking at you like he’s trying to convey something he can’t put into words? 

as you look at him, take him in, the boy you love so dearly, you can’t help but feel like he just carved open his chest — let you peek inside his ribcage. it’s hard not to feel flustered, in the presence of something so vulnerable.

and he’s thanking you. as if taking care of him is a great burden, a chore, something you’d demand gratitude for. you want to tell him that it’s the bare minimum, the very least of what he deserves. the very least of what you could, should do for him.

you want to tell him that he’s safe, here. that there’s no need to be the strongest, whatever the hell that means, that he can let go of the burdens you know he hides from you. that he can just be your sick, terribly stubborn boyfriend.

”… okay,” is all you breathe out, every other word getting stuck in the back of your throat. ”that’s good.”

satoru’s fingers curl around yours, suddenly, where they lay on your lap. his movements are still a little groggy, disoriented, as he brings your hand up to his lips. they’re warm and soft, especially so in light of his fever. he closes his eyes, white lashes catching the light of the sun, flitting in through the haphazardly closed blinds. your heartbeat stutters.

”… love you,” he mutters. a soft little thing. your eyes don’t leave his face. and your lips part before your brain can instruct them to.

”i love you too,” you blurt out, instantaneous. like you couldn’t bear to keep him waiting, even for a second. ”… satoru.”

he smiles against your skin. he always does, at the sound of those words. you make him feel so terribly, terribly weak, all the time, everyday. you make him feel so human, and he can’t bring himself to think of it as a bad thing anymore. 

he’s still cradling your hand when he brings it down to the blanket. ”thanks for coming,” he continues, pushing himself. trying to get the words out while he still has the energy to say them. “you didn’t have to.”

they’re a little clumsy, a little stale on his tongue, but they’re honest. he is thankful — the prospect of being seen like this is discomforting, gruelingly so, but he doesn’t mind nearly as much if it’s you. he’d never tell you, but he did feel just a little lonely, when he woke up this morning. disoriented, enveloped by hot flashes of pain, in a way he’s not used to in the slightest. missing out on your date, too, that he had been looking forward to ever since you decided on a time. 

but, as if sensing it, you came to his rescue. the feeling of your lips on his skin was the first sensation he felt, when he woke up for the second time — with you by his side, this time. his guardian angel, carrying the scent of spring with you. a memory of a certain boy, of better times. 

(satoru thinks you’re nostalgia personified. he likes to imagine that you met as children, underneath a cherry tree somewhere, but he knows it’s not true. there’s no way he wouldn’t remember you.)

you smile. pleased, at his show of vulnerability, small as it may be. ”i wanted to,” you assure him. equally honest, equally full of double meanings and hidden messages that neither of you need to uncover to understand. ”… i care about you. of course i’d come.”

a light, raspy chuckle; that’s all satoru manages to vocalize. his mind is stuffed, and there’s an ache in his chest, longing to be filled. it’s been there for a while now. but somehow, you seem to fill it up, slowly but surely, almost effortlessly — with every sound you make, every slight movement, every flicker of an expression on your face. everything seems so effortlessly perfect, in his eyes.

the words leave his lips before his mind can think the thought to reel them back in. 

”what did i do to deserve you…?”

you blink. a moment passes.

then your eyes soften, considerably so, crumbling at the corners like the cookies satoru loves so much. he’s looking at you, eyes soft in a similar sense, layered over with adoration. you think the love inside your chest might crawl out of your throat and eat him alive.

you give him a chuckle of your own, quivering slightly. terribly fond. this time, you’re the one who drags his hand up to meet your lips; kissing his knuckle softly. his breath hitches.

”i’m the one who should be saying that to you,” you grin, a little weakly. and you mean it. you don’t think you’ve ever meant anything more. 

it’s so honest that it strikes a cord right down his heart, more heat than the fever can account for rushing to his cheeks. satoru hopes you don’t notice it. all he can do is squeeze your fingers, lightly, not trusting his voice not to break. silence lingers, and you only gaze at him softly. 

”… do you want anything else?” you finally ask, with a tilt of your head. still so eager to assist, racking your brain to come up with anything else to do for him. ”i’ll get it for you, no matter what it is.”

and, truthfully, satoru thinks you’ve done more than enough. more than he could ever make up for. but he’s always been greedy, and there’s one thing, only one thing, one thing he can’t help but ask for. something he craves more than anything. he can’t help but indulge himself, indulge in his selfishness, in the need to feel your skin against his. 

so he stretches his arms out, and looks at you with a distinctly needy glint in his eyes. his fingers move in a grabby motion, almost unconsciously, and he might’ve been embarrassed if he wasn’t still so feverish. all he wants is to keep you close, to make the hollowness inside his chest dissipate. you always make that lonely feeling go away.

needless to say, you heed his request. almost instantly, your heart pumping in a steady rhythm, with this visceral desire to keep him close, to protect him. and who are you to resist, when he’s asking you for it himself?

you waste no time crawling beneath the covers, situating yourself right next to your lover. only then do you finally, finally, reach your arms out to pull him close; so close you feel the heat of his skin, the beat of his heart. his cheek meets the softness of your chest, snuggling closer, and you card a hand through his soft locks. his arms reach around your midriff, a perfect puzzle piece, and he releases an audible sigh — deep and satisfied. in his tired, clingy state, he subconsciously throws a leg over yours, trapping you further. 

you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

finally, satoru can fall asleep. with the fever still clouding his senses, and your nimble fingers smoothing along his scalp, the occasional kiss to his head as he listens to your soft heartbeat, he’s drifted off before either of you know it. melting into you, into your warm embrace, cheek squished against your chest. tiny little breaths fall from his lips, and you feel like you’re cradling the whole world in your arms. 

you’re relieved. making yourself comfortable on your back, with satoru sleeping soundly on top of you, hoping he’ll feel better when he wakes up. careful, even with your breathing, intent on letting him sleep. knowing he doesn’t get nearly as much rest as he should, most days. 

before long, even you succumb to the cozy atmosphere, gradually dozing off. satoru is always warm, even more so now, and his weight is comforting.

stifling a yawn, you tug him a little bit closer, allowing your eyes to flutter shut. you could use a day of catching up on lost sleep, too.

when you wake up, you’re acutely aware of something poking your cheek.

it’s a ticklish sensation, sort of irritating, and it rouses you from your cozy slumber. disgruntled, so cruelly ripped away from your sweet dreams — satoru was in it, you think. you feel robbed.

still, you can’t be too mad. not when the real deal is right in front of you, eyes crinkled and full of warmth, a teasing smile on his lips. he’s still snuggled into your chest, all cozy and cute, as you lay on your back, propped up by a myriad of fluffy pillows. he looks up at you adoringly.

”well hello there,” he purrs, shooting a giddy little grin your way. still poking your cheek. ”wakey-wakey, sunshine!”

a series of blinks. you stir a little further, the sleepy haze of your brain beginning to slip off, slowly but surely. it takes a couple of seconds for you to remember why you’re here, what happened before you fell asleep. 

”… hey,” you greet, at last, stifling a yawn and squeezing your eyes shut. stretching lazily, like a sleepy cat. ”how do you feel…?”

”i’m perfect. better than perfect, actually,” satoru chirps, a little cheeky, hoisting himself up so that he’s hovering above you. a hint of mischief in those pretty eyes. ”you’re a good nurse, y’know?”

you huff out a chuckle. as always, his actions reveal more than his words — you could tell he felt a lot better the moment you saw his smile, heard how he formed his words. “alright, that’s good,” you hum, exhaling softly. ”how long was i asleep? what time is it?”

”i woke up just now, too,” satoru lies, albeit a small one. he did wake up recently, only to spend what he thinks must’ve been at least fifteen minutes staring at you until he physically couldn’t take it anymore. he had to hear your voice, see your smile. it’s a personal record for him; usually he spends less time admiring your peaceful expression, far too eager to speak to you.

”it’s pretty late,” he continues, another small lie. pleased with himself. ”way too late for you to go back, actually. how about you spend the night?”

another blink, your eyelids heavy and droopy as they open and close. then you’re reaching for your phone on the nightstand, and checking the time. a smile is quick to bloom on your lips, teasing and bubbly, as you tilt your head to meet his gaze.

”it’s only four, satoru.”

”way, way too late,” he only reaffirms, flopping down on top of you again, keeping you from leaving. ”god knows what kinda creeps are out there at this hour — much too unsafe. i’m just looking out for you, baby.”

”of course,” you indulge him, a sly little roll of your eyes that makes him pout. ”you know i was planning on staying over anyway, right?”

”well, of course! i wouldn’t expect anything less from my favorite nurse.”

his eyes betray his words, gleaming with a sudden colour of excitement, all glitter and relief. a joy that clogs up his throat like seafoam, and spills out from his lips. you look down at him, for a second, unable to resist the temptation — reaching for his forehead with the back of your hand. 

it’s significantly less scalding, now. 

you let out a sigh, laced with relief, one you didn’t know you’d been holding in. ”it really has gone down,” you hum, stretching the sleep from your limbs again. “that’s good.”

satoru huffs. ”i said i was perfect, right? don’t you trust me, my sweet lover?”

”i never know with you,” you give him a huff of your own, exasperated. fond. “you said you were just fine this morning, too.”

”i was!” he whines. piling up lie after lie. “i totally could’ve made it to that date, you know. i got worse because you had no faith in my abilities.”

”right. of course.” you shoot him a lopsided grin. ”you just don’t wanna admit the fever beat your ass, huh?”

”see? no faith.” a chuckle slips from your lips, and satoru has to bite back a smile. ”unbelievable. i fought that fever off just for you, and here you are, laughing at me.”

”oh? i thought it was thanks to my top notch nursing skills?”

”well, that too! but it was mostly me.”

a sigh. “whatever you say.” then you’re smiling, once more, unable to help yourself. eyes crinkled at the edges, soft around the corners. ”i’m just glad you’re better. i was worried.”

satoru pouts, again, but you can tell he acknowledges it — your earnest concern. this is how you love, the both of you, through words that never say it all and actions that say the words your mouths can’t fit. decoding the meaning of it all in silent gestures, glints in your eyes. little truth games.

”you really thought a lil’ fever was gonna be enough to keep me down?” he shakes his head once, then twice. and you know that what he means to say is i never want you to worry. “c’mon, now, baby.”

another lighthearted roll of your eyes. ”yeah, yeah, yeah. my sincerest apologies, my strong, stubborn, totally-not-sick boyfriend.”

”don’t you mean your strong, perfect, beautiful, clever, flawless, totally-not-sick boyfriend?”

”don’t think i didn’t notice you sneaking the stubborn out of there.”

”hehe.”

a silent moment passes, something tender filling up the space between your words. satoru’s weight is still so comforting, like a big blanket, his arms enveloping you as he breathes in your scent. you’re so happy that he’s acting insufferable again.

”alright, my honeybee,” he suddenly chirps, breaking the silence, hoisting himself up. ”time to go. we can still get those crêpes if we hurry.”

you blink. once, then twice.

”… satoru.”

”yeah? what’s up?”

you give him an unimpressed look, gazing up at him, towering over you like he fully thought you’d be alright with letting him leave. ”you’re… not going out today,” you deadpan. “you know that, right?”

this time, he’s the one who blinks. once, then twice.

”huh? why not?”

”uh, because you’re sick, maybe?”

”what?” satoru pretends to be shocked, offended, as if he can’t believe you’d even suggest something so outrageous. ”i’m all better, though!”

you raise an eyebrow, thoroughly displeased. all better? ”your fever isn’t gone, satoru. it’s just not horrible anymore. you’ll get yourself even more sick if you go out now.”

”i won’t! seriously!” he insists, looking down at you with a sorry attempt at puppy dog eyes. ”i feel good enough to run a marathon!”

”you’re not doing that either,” you mutter. then a sigh, exasperated. you can’t let this charade go on for too long. ”come on, satoru — don’t be so stubborn. we can go there another time.”

”but —”

”besides, didn’t you say i have to spend the night because it’s too late to go outside? remember the creeps?” there’s amusement in your voice, a light smile on your lips. ”what if they get us?”

”well, they obviously won’t get you while i’m there,” he huffs. ”what, you don’t think i can protect you properly? you’re hurting me, angel.”

you bite back an incredulous laugh. god, he’s stubborn. you’re so in love with him you just barely restrain the urge to pull him in for a kiss.

”sa-to-ru,” you coo, dragging each syllable out, sending a shiver down his spine. ”we’re not going outside. end of discussion.”

”why not, though?” he continues to pout, still refusing to give in. resorting to cheap guilt-tripping. ”don’t you wanna go on a date with me? you don’t want to see me happy, is that it?”

you only sigh, thoroughly exasperated, reaching up to cup his cheek nonetheless. he nuzzles into it. ”you’re such a baby.”

”your baby.”

another sigh, to mask your adoration. at this rate, the back and forth will never end, so you scramble for solutions.

“can’t we just have our date here?” you suggest, after some contemplation. ”i bought some ice cream on my way here. we could watch a movie, or something. isn’t that enough?”

satoru’s eyes bore into yours. contemplative, as he lets the silence linger, gears turning inside his mind. he wants to go outside with you, wants to hold your hand and hear you hum happily as you bite into your crêpe; wants to steal a bite when you’re not looking.

but it is a tempting offer. you could eat ice cream, and binge a bunch of movies, and he could rest his head in your lap. coax you into playing with his hair.

(he’s maybe, just maybe, a little bit tired, too.)

so, finally, he sighs — softly. in resignation. 

”… well, i guess that’s fine,” he pouts, allowing himself to fall back into your embrace. his voice is muffled, as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck. ”i wanted crêpes, though…”

”i’ll get you your crepes,” you assure him, relieved to have reached a compromise. ”i can go buy ’em myself and come back. then we —”

”no, no, no!” satoru suddenly interjects. whining, tugging you closer. ”you’re not going anywhere. not without me!”

a sigh, just as adoring as it is fatigued. ”then i’ll… order crêpes, or something. or we’ll eat ice cream today and then crêpes when you’re better. does that sound okay?”

satoru is silent, for a while.

”… okay,” he hums. ”that’s fine.”

”haah. okay, good —”

”however!” 

you give him a look, a silent what now? that has him smiling. shuffling a little, in your embrace, planting his jaw on top of your chest and gazing up at you with a grin. ”instead of the crêpes, i want a kiss.”

you blink. exasperated, as an amused chuckle follows. ”so convoluted. you can just ask, you know?” you don’t give him time to answer, eager to appease the pouty man. ”whatever.” 

leaning in, you press a chaste kiss to his cheek. sweet and soft. to your surprise, he’s still pouting when you pull away. ”i meant on the lips,” he explains, as if it was obvious. 

a tilt of your head. 

”… but you’re sick.”

”so?” satoru just pouts, expression practically etched into his face at this point. ”you won’t kiss me anymore? just cause i’ve got a tiny, miniscule fever?” he huffs, turning his head to the right and shutting his eyes. ”if you don’t love me anymore, you can just say that.”

another sigh leaves your lips. he’s so ridiculous. you can’t really deny him, though.

”… fine. it’s your fault if i get sick, though.”

in the blink of an eye, he’s perked right back up. wagging his non-existent tail, closing his eyes and waiting for you to try again. silly.

but you relent. his lips are only slightly warmer than usual, and you choose to see it as the good sign it is, proof that his fever truly is starting to dissipate. you feel satoru relax, melting into the kiss, but before it can drag out too long you’ve pulled away. ”— there. happy now?” 

”for now,” he quips, equally teasing. he’s cute, though. a little kiss or two is a small price to pay for the spark of joy in his iris, even if it ends with you sick on your deathbed in a couple of days. 

”that’ll do,” you grin, hoisting yourself up with your elbows, carrying satoru with you, his jaw still on your chest. ”wanna go eat some ice cream, mr unreasonable?”

you don’t really need an answer. of course satoru wants ice cream. you’ve never seen him turn down anything sweet — and, lo and behold, he perks up again, getting into a sitting position. like an excited puppy. 

”got it,” you chuckle, stopping to think for a moment. “there’s soup left, too. but maybe you’d rather order something? it turned out kinda so-so.”

satoru gapes. ”you kidding? that was the best soup i’ve ever had!” 

his exclamation makes you roll your eyes, words so coated in confidence that you almost want to believe him. ”satoru. you don’t have to lie.”

”i’m not!”

”you couldn’t even taste it.”

”i could, i could!” he stubbornly whines. ”i tasted all your love. every single drop!”

you give him a look. he only grins at you, a little teasing, a little giddy. you can’t help but feel a bit embarrassed; averting your gaze with a sharp scoff, trying to appear unbothered. ”yeah? and how did my love taste?”

satoru leans forward. it’s sudden, and you blink, instinctively leaning back in turn. he’s wearing a signature smirk when he stops moving, close enough that you feel his breath on your skin. hot.

”delicious,” he purrs, glancing down at your lips. blue eyes gleaming with mirth. ”best thing i’ve ever had.”

you know he’s just trying to fluster you, so you try to fight against it, but it doesn’t work nearly as well as you’d like — crumbling under his gaze, averting your own with a quiet huff. and he lets you off the hook, satisfied with your embarrassed expression. pulling back slightly, letting you breathe. 

as swiftly as you can, you regain your composure. clearing your throat. ”well, you can have more of it later, then,” you make a move to get off the bed. ”let’s go eat ice cream.”

after being caged in by satoru for so long, your limbs are a little stiff, caught under the weight of his boundless love. when your feet hit the soft flooring, you stretch them out, watching satoru follow your lead. still clad in that sweaty shirt.

”you should probably get a change of clothes,” you suggest, exhaling as your muscles loosen up. ”you’ve been wearing that shirt all day.”

”oh? is that an excuse to see me out of it, sweetheart?” satoru grins, fresh mischief gleaming in his eyes. ”you know you can always just ask.” 

you huff out a sardonic breath. ”yeah, yeah, whatever. throw on a hoodie or something, weirdo.” you stifle a giggle when he makes an offended noise behind you. “and some pants.”

”you don’t like the underwear?” he looks towards the corner of the room, studying himself in the mirror. “this is an expensive brand, you know?”

”you’re the only person on planet earth who’d give a fuck about underwear brands,” you scoff, a little snarky. ”just — put some comfortable clothes on, okay? i’ll go get the ice cream ready.”

”wait!” he exclaims, attaching himself to you, curling his arms around your bicep. “you’re not allowed to go anywhere without me, remember?” 

“… okay, okay. hurry up and get changed, then.”

sitting back down on the bed, while satoru walks towards the closet, you scroll through your phone — refusing to meet his expectant stare. he wants you to look over, you’re well aware, just so he can tease you for trying to sneak a peek. but you’re not falling for it this time. 

when he’s done, he’s wearing a comfy hoodie and some sweatpants. it’s a good look on him, casual and cozy. awfully cute. he wastes no time in attaching himself to you, again, an arm linked with yours as you travel to the kitchen; grabbing the pints of ice cream from the freezer, a couple snack bags from the drawers, before plopping down on the couch.

satoru maneuvers you into his lap, and you don’t put up a fight, leaning into him as your back meets his chest. he keeps you locked in place, arms around your waist, planting his jaw on the top of your head. and he relaxes, comforted by your smaller body pressed up against his. holding you so close satisfies a certain protective itch in his brain, never failing to calm him down. a safe haven, of sorts.

you watch the movie and eat the snacks, chattering away, letting the silence linger every now and then. after a while, satoru gets a slight headache, resting his head in your lap and whining for you to soothe him. you do so without any teasing; you’re much too soft for him. and he’s still sick, even if he’s doing better. you couldn’t resist him even if you tried.

so you opt to indulge him.

”baby, i think my fever’s going up again…” satoru pouts, gazing up at you through fluttering lashes. ”can you check?”

you smile, with a raise of your eyebrow. ”this is the fifth time you’ve asked me to check your temperature, toru.”

”just wanna make sure,” he whines. “please?”

with an exaggerated sigh, you lean down, lips once again meeting his forehead — humming against his skin. nope, his temperature hasn’t gone up. just like it hadn’t gone up the last time you checked, or the time before that.

”you’re good.”

”oh, thank god,” he exhales. ”are you sure? like, a hundred percent sure? maybe you should check again. just in case.”

”satoru,” you coo, a teasing lilt on the tip of your tongue. ”you can just ask me if you want a kiss.”

”a kiss? scandalous. i just wanna make sure my condition doesn’t worsen.”

he’s grinning, and you’re rolling your eyes, and both of you know damn well you’re going to indulge him anyway. he sighs in satisfaction when he feels your soft lips on his heated skin.

”hmm…” you narrow your eyes, thoughtfully, before looking down at him with a teasing smile. ”nope. definitely still the same temperature.” 

”you sure?”

”a hundred percent.”

”hmm. okay, got it.” he rolls over, burying his face in your stomach. wrapping his limbs around your midriff. “that’s good. just wanted to check, you know?”

”of course.”

”might need you to check again soon. just to be safe,” he chirps, biting back a soft grin. you don’t bother hiding yours.

”got it, got it,” you coo, fingers carding through his messy hair. “anything for my sick baby.” 

satoru releases a soft breath, bordering on a giggle. you can’t help but let your smile grow wider, heart brimming with affection. you let it clog up your chest until the movie’s almost over, and you simply can’t help yourself anymore.

”your room is very like you.”

it’s sudden, breaking the peaceful silence, making satoru stir. you’re both starting to get sleepy again. but he blinks up at you, studying your expression before parting his lips.

”… oh? how so?”

“well…” you stop to think. humming, absently fidgeting with a lock of your boyfriend’s hair. ”when i first walked in, i thought the whole house felt kind of empty, you know?”

satoru hums. unsure of where the conversation is going, maybe just a little intrigued. he mostly just likes listening to you talk. 

”but then i went into your room, and — it just felt very you. kinda messy, and stuff, but cozy. and a little sentimental.” satoru looks up at you, admiring that certain soft glimmer in your eyes. you meet his stare with a smile. ”maybe it doesn’t make sense? i guess i’ve just been thinking about it.”

he closes his eyes.

there’s something soft in your tone, something silky and simple, and he can tell you’re being sincere. it’s something he likes about you — that willingness to be soft, almost pridefully so, to bare yourself even if you aren’t sure that he’ll return the favour. he likes to think it’s rubbing off on him, slowly but surely; he doesn’t think he’s quite as bad as before. telling you about things that are dear to him isn’t something that scares him, anymore. and even when you see him vulnerable, sick and delirious in bed, he isn’t afraid that you’ll use it against him.

you’re a comfort; his safe haven. a place to rest his weary head. maybe you always have been, even before he really got to know you.

”i like your place more,” he finally admits, lighthearted in its weight. your gaze flits down, but his is still lingering on the tv, not really paying attention to it. ”it feels very… you.”

a smile crawls up to rest against your lips. playing along, your hands finding solace in between his fluffy locks. ”how so?”

and satoru smiles. eyes sparkling with something mellow, like a soda pop cracked open on a boiling summer day. he shifts a little, just to gaze up at you again. ”it’s… homely. warm,” his smile only grows. “and awfully sentimental.”

he lifts a hand up, to touch your cheek. tender, as his thumb smooths against your skin. it’s warm, beneath his touch, heating up with every word he speaks. satoru’s love feels a little like the sun, when it spills out this fervently, like it could burn you into cinders — you think you’d be happy to lie in the ashes. he’s smiling at you, like sunshine, like little dusty specks of light. and he exhales.

”i wouldn’t mind staying there forever.”

the expression on his face is a lovely one. you take a moment to simply bask in it, desperate to etch it into your memory. you don’t think you could forget it even if you tried. how fondly the light of the room embraces him, that soft grin he’s shooting your way, only vaguely teasing. and his eyes, the gateways to his soul, so sincere you can’t look away.

you love this man with your whole chest. you knew before, you’ve known for a long time, but each day you fall in love all over again. it’s all you can think as you look at him, all snug and safe and happy in your lap.

you don’t realize you’ve been staring at him silently until he chuckles, pulling you out of your sentimental stupor. it only flusters you further.

”you’re cute,” satoru croons, still cradling your cheek. tender, soft fingertips against your heated skin. all you manage is a meek little furrow of your brows, but that only makes him chuckle again.

”… you can.”

he blinks. still smiling.

”stay forever, i mean.”

you can’t look at him, when you say it. the words are barely above a whisper, and you aren’t sure if they’re conscious or not. it’d be nice to say they just slipped out, but they feel somewhat deliberate, all the same. you know you mean them, either way. it’s the one thing you’re sure of.

this time, satoru is the one who can do nothing but stare, his expression unreadable. you try not to let your gaze wander to his face, his eyes; but through the peripheral of your vision, you feel like you catch a particular kind of sadness reflected in them. or maybe it’s something closer to yearning, longing. something like that.

”… well,” he finally hums, voice so low you barely pick up on it. ”maybe i will, then.”

you reach something. 

you catch a glimpse of it, at least, for just a second or two. something warm and bare, something simple and incomprehensible at the same time. an emotion so strong it leaves you reeling, yet still so light. it’s there and then it isn’t, just out of reach, and you think that if you could only find the courage to curl your fingers around his, then —

a laugh track plays from the tv, snapping you both out of your thoughts.

(the moment passes before you can fully understand it, fully comprehend it. maybe some part of you already has.)

…

satoru chuckles, reaching for another ball of mochi and popping it into his mouth. ”this movie’s awful, huh?”

”yeah,” you’re quick to agree, maybe a little too quick. grinning weakly. ”it’s good in a so bad it’s good kinda way, though.”

he hums in absentminded agreement, still chewing on the soft treat. keeping his gaze steady on the screen, the flicker of emotional scenes he hasn’t been keeping track of, barely resisting the urge to look up at you again. but his heart already feels a little too mushy for his liking — he’s not sure he could take it.

satoru doesn’t get sick often.

his immune system is strong, there’s no denying that. but more than anything, he simply can’t afford to be sick. there are people who need him, people who depend on him, and the idea of being in such a defenseless state — stuck in bed while the world continues to spin, unattended — makes him feel so anxious he could throw up. even sleeping makes him feel a little skittish, sometimes, though he’s gotten a lot better since he started falling asleep with you in his arms.

it’s funny, he thinks. before you, being sick wasn’t something that really existed in his world. if he felt a little under the weather he would simply puff out his chest and down a painkiller or two, waving it off with a flick of his wrist; no biggie, really. he’s satoru gojo, after all, and the world needs his eyes on it.

but then you came along. you came to his rescue, spring in your pockets, and you took care of him, with what he knows to be love. genuine, earnest concern for his wellbeing. his happiness.

yeah — it’s funny, for sure. satoru never thought he��d ever enjoy being sick. 

yet here he is, head in your lap, feeling you run your fingers through his hair. kissing his forehead whenever he whines, indulging his little convoluted ploys. bringing him soup, when he gets hungry again, soup you made yourself. he wasn’t kidding when he said he tasted your love through it; it was all he could taste, with his numbed out senses, all he could feel.

you’re so good to him. there’s nothing he would trade for these moments with you, absolutely nothing. he’s glad you came over, after all. glad you’re so stubborn, and oh so caring. satoru can’t help but smile, heart almost stuffed to the brim with gratitude — what could he possibly do with this immense love in his chest?

”i love you so much,” he blurts out, practically beaming. now you’re in his lap, again, and he takes the opportunity to smear openmouthed kisses against your neck. delighting in the little squeak you try to muffle.

”where did that come from?” you blink, squirming a little in his embrace. a movie is still playing on the tv screen, one better than the last — your attention was fixed on it before satoru broke the silence.

”just felt like saying it!” he only chirps, grinning ear to ear. ”i love you. you’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he murmurs, earnestly, lips against your skin. ”my whole world.”

for a moment, you wonder if the fever is making him delirious. then again, this is pretty standard for satoru; always eager to fluster you, to shower you with love until you’re pushing him away. it’s overwhelming, but you’ve never minded. this is how you measure his love — little gaps between too much and never enough.

”… you’re not gonna say it back?” comes a whine, right by your ear. now he’s nibbling at your neck, little beast that he is, pouting because you let the silence linger for too long. he’s being such a baby about it. but you still rush to reassure him, echoing his words in earnest. 

”i love you too, satoru,” you smile, slightly exasperated. craning your neck so that your lips can meet his jaw, and satoru grins, giddy at the attention. ”my whole universe.”

satoru lets out a happy little noise, almost a giggle, sleepy and pleased. his arms squeeze you just a little tighter, like you could never be close enough, even when he’s got you in his lap like this. if he could, he’d keep you there all the time. attached at the hip, close as can be. 

even with a ruined date, even after worrying you, he feels well and truly satisfied. because you're here, and you’re watching a good movie, and you’re gonna stay over tonight. when it gets dark out, he’ll get to fall asleep cuddled up beside you, hold you in his arms and feel you nuzzle into his chest. then he’ll pepper your face with kisses to wake you up, and you’ll grumble all sweetly, and he’ll carry you to the kitchen despite your grumpy protests. you’ll eat breakfast together, chatting and enjoying the way the sunlight flickers around the room like a happy cat. maybe he can even make you breakfast himself, to thank you for today. 

if the fever’s gone by then, you’ll probably let him outside. then you can go get those crêpes, and maybe go to a park, or to the movie theatre, or a fun arcade, before heading back to your apartment to relax. and then he’ll stay over. the day after, too. and the day after that.

living together with you wouldn’t be so bad, he thinks. it wouldn’t be bad at all, actually. 

the thought has been on his mind for a while, now. getting to fall asleep with you every night, eat breakfast with you every morning, see more of your footprints in his life… satoru can’t think of anything he’d like more. maybe he’ll start hinting at it, slowly but surely. if he can lure you into broaching the subject, that would be ideal — but if he has to, he doesn’t mind doing it himself. you’re worth the emotional toll.

you curl into your boyfriend a little further, his jaw now resting cheekily on the top of your head, large palms underneath your shirt and rubbing circles into your bare skin. you have no idea what he’s thinking, no idea about his plans, and he thinks that’s for the best. he knows you’ll indulge him, at the end of the day.

maybe he’ll just ask you, tomorrow. if you say no, he can just blame it on the fever making him delirious.

[omg-snakes]

Hi I just want to say I love your blog and your snakes are so freaking cute!! I also had a question if you have time to answer it. I really love reptiles and would like to get into reptile keeping (probably not for a year or so as I have one more semester of my bachelor's degree and then will probably be moving). I've been doing a lot of research in preparation for bringing one home in the future. However, I've been wondering, do people ever sell fertilized reptile hatching eggs for people to hatch? I don't think this is something I would do if any breeders offered it because I don't have much experience, but I do breed chickens and people do this all the time with chicken eggs, so I was wondering if it is something people do with reptiles too. I imagine shipping would be harder with reptile eggs than chicken eggs bc of how soft they are, but I was still curious and thought it might be worth asking!

Hi there!

Okay I LOVE this ask. I think about this sort of thing a lot and while it's definitely not a thing I often wish it could be.

The very short answer is that for most reptiles, selling a fertilized egg to hatch at home is not feasible. It's definitely not possible to ship fertilized reptile eggs with any hope of hatching them, but in a few rare cases you could possibly sell one in person, in an insulated container, and if the buyer went straight home and got it into an incubator it would probably be okay.

There are a few reasons why reputable reptile breeders don't do this.

Consider that chickens have a fast rate of maturity, relatively fast incubation, regular and predictable breeding cycle, and eggs can rest for a bit before they're incubated for hatching. All of this adds up to eggs that are relatively abundant, inexpensive, forgiving in terms of being jostled since the eggs are designed to be turned during incubation, a quick turnaround from purchase to enjoying your new pet, and within a year, if you hatched a hen, you'll be able to make more eggs. As a domesticated species bred for hardiness and responsiveness to human care, healthy chicks will start eating and displaying normal chickeny behaviors right away.

Corn snakes, for contrast, take up to 4 years to mature, they only breed once per year and lay a relatively small number of eggs per breeding season compared to an average chicken, their eggs take 65-ish days to incubate, and the embryos adhere to the top of the egg very soon after the eggs are laid so they can not be turned or the embryo will be smothered by their own yolk. Once hatched, a corn snake neonate will not eat until after their first shed and sometimes a bit after that! This can be a harrowing, delicate time in a baby snake's life and they need an experienced keeper to help them thrive.

Furthermore, chickens come in specialized breeds where corn snakes are an undomesticated species. Reptiles come in color morphs but they don't have defined breeds with expected size, color, temperament, health expectations, or fecundity the way chickens do.

So if you were to, say, buy buff orpington hatching eggs, you'd reliably hatch buff orpingtons, with orpington personalities and characteristics. If you bred two hypo corn snakes, you'd definitely get hypo corn snake babies but you might also get other color morphs depending on the genetics of the parents. Unless you know very well the specific genes, temperaments, sizes, and health histories of the parents you won't have any idea of what's going to hatch. And even with all that information, it's still quite variable!

Finally, corn snakes cost a lot more than most chicken breeds and the price of a snake is in part determined by the genes they carry. Two snakes in the same clutch might vary significantly in terms of color expression, so you could have a $50 snake and a $200 snake in the same clutch! Since every egg carries a risk of failing to hatch, sellers don't usually price their snakes until they're alive, eating, and thriving. If a seller were to price their eggs, knowing the genetics of the parents that produced said eggs, they'd either be taking a huge loss on the value of a potentially valuable snake or asking their buyer to incur a significant loss should an expensive egg fail. If a breeder were to go this route, they'd probably only offer eggs that they know are low-dollar-value or have low desirability, and then we have to ask why somebody is breeding snakes they don't think are desirable...

All said and done, it's probably a safer idea to contact a local breeder and ask them to tag an egg for you, allowing you the first right of refusal on whomever hatches. They'll insure that "your" egg stays safe and if for any reason it does fail, you won't have invested anything in it except hope.

I hope this helps explain and that I didn't crush anybody's dreams.

[wonwoonlight]

📣: Seungcheol // university au // enemy to lovers (but not quite there aka im spreading the seeds of luvv😎) // 1047 words

A/N: thanks for the request anon! i changed school into uni because... i dont rmb how school works anymore lol plus its a little weird for me to imagine them being high school kids. also, lets just pretend they can change locker for some reason bc ive never had lockers looooll pretend it makes sense pls(ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥ enjoy! another update in a few hours bc i might not be able to update tmr hehe

 find the rest of requested drabble here 

At this point, you don’t even remember what’s the problem between you and Seungcheol; you just know what you share with him is hostility.

You think it’s probably some childish prank he did on you somewhere during middle school that started the whole thing, but somehow it carries on until now. You don’t even know how you end up attending the same university as Choi Seungcheol when you’ve both opted to go to university outside your hometown.

You can still remember the annoyance waving through your body when you’ve first encountered him in the corridor, the both of you gaping in disbelief before you took the first step to scoff and continued your way to class.

It’s all good  for the first two semesters until you somehow end up sharing a class with him during the third. Since then, Seungcheol has made it his mission to annoy you, and you’ve sworn to get back at him one way or another.

The reason why this…relationship isn’t a good thing is because this has drawn unwanted attention to you. As much as you hate to admit it, Seungcheol is an attractive man with a pretty good reputation. He’s got his fair share of admirers that he usually ignores.

It pains you to say he’s not an asshole (he’s just an asshole to you, not one in general), but that’s the fact. He’s just not interested in his popularitty. You’re not sure why these girls (and some boys) keep on trying to get his attention when he never even bats an eye on them.

So, when they notice Seungcheol actually pays attention to someone that they’ve never seen before, it’s only nature for them to find prey in that person.

You don’t really mind them at first, you figure they’d get bored once they realize you’re just some unfortunate person Seungcheol decides to pick on. But apparently, Seungcheol’s attention is the only thing that matters to them, not the fact that he’s attentive to you just so he can annoy you.

“Sup, loser,” Seungcheol says as he opens his locker two rows next to yours. Of course, the universe hates you enough that he’s somehow able to move his locker near yours.

“I’m really not in the mood, Seungcheol,” you roll your eyes, hastily taking all the stuffs you need before closing the door and leaving just like that.

Seungcheol frowns, you haven’t been showing him any reactions these days, which kinda worries him if he’s being completely honest. Instead of annoyance, your eyes just seem tired eveytime you see him and he wonders if he’s taken his joke a bit too far these days.

But if the actually thinks about it, he hasn’t been pranking you these past few weeks because exam week is nearing and he has way too many deadlines to meet. He frowns, did something happen to you? Or is it something back home?

Quickly shedding the thought away, Seungcheol shakes his head before he steps to his next class. Maybe he’ll try bothering you again once and see if you’re just in a bad mood earlier.

He’s about to pass by when he hears your tired voice, asking someone what they want this time. An alarm goes off through his entire body, he looks through the small gap from the door, the sight of you with a few of girls he doesn’t recognize greets him.

“We just want to know what you did to get Seungcheol’s attention,” one of the girls say, crossing her arms. “Why won’t you tell us? Are you afraid he won’t be paying attention to you again?”

Seungcheol sees you visibly sigh, leaning slightly on the table behind you as you shake your head. “How is it my problem that he doesn’t pay attention to you?”

He frowns at the way the girls snicker between themselves, muttering something under their breath that he couldn’t hear but knows for sure isn’t pleasant.

“Are you that desperate for his attention that you don’t want to tell us?”

“Isn’t it you who’s desperate?” you sigh again. Honesty, you’ve been trying your best to avoid Seungcheol these days because you’re getting tired of these encounters. You’re nowhere near afraid, just very bothered and doesn’t have the energy to deal with them everytime you’re in uni. “Isn’t that why you’re always following me around these days, asking about him?”

“Why you—”

“Anyone mind telling me what’s going around here?” Seungcheol’s bored voice cuts through the empty classroom, the girls immediately turn to him in shock and so do you. His eyes find yours as he leans on the doorway. “You okay?”

You nod hesitantly, unsure why the sight of him stopping these girls from bothering you gets your heart skipping a beat.

The girls stay silent at his question, avoiding his eyes altogether. Seungcheol considers threatening them, a sense of annoyance (and protectiveness, though he would never tell you that) rushing through him as he hears your tired voice. No wonder you haven’t been reacting to his pranks these days.

He opts for a glare instead, looking at them with ice cold eyes as he softly grabs your wrist and pulls you out of the room.

“Have they been doing this for long?” he asks. Why do these girls think they have the right to do so?

“The past month or so,” you answer truthfully. Your gaze is locked at the way his hand is still on your wrist; why isn’t he letting go?

He stops in his track, his grip tightening a little. There are a few seconds of silence before he speaks again. “I’m sorry they did this to you.”

“…What?” you blink in confusion. Is he actually apologizing to you for things he didn’t even do?

“What about I walk you to your classes until they stop?” he offers, which surprises you a little.

Not used with this sudden turn of mood with Seungcheol. You playfully go past him, brushing his shoulder in purpose.

“Might as well apologize for all the time you’ve been pranking me.”

Seungcheol bites back a grin, he doesn’t know if the change of phase between the two of you was something he’s always wanted, but maybe it might turn into something he never expects it to be.

[shingia]

Heya. I know this is very angsty of a request, but I saw the fic of characters reacting to their s/o who [tw] relapsed into self harm and was wondering if you would do some for asahi, ushijima, and oikawa?

[𝐓𝐖] 𝐒/𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅-𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌 𝐩𝐭.𝟐

hi ! ofc you can honey <3 i hope these will bring you as much comfort as you need, and plz don’t hesitate to dm me if you need to talk to someone, or to reach out for help in any way. here’s a hug for you bcs you deserve it, love you 💗 

also im sorry but i really couldn’t imagine asahi ever arguing with his s/o so i didn’t include this in his fic (he really is too precious)

warnings : mentions of self harm, one mention of blood, some self-depreciating thoughts. please do not read if any of these might trigger something, stay safe everyone <3

➾ 𝐚𝐬𝐚𝐡𝐢

asahi trusted you blindly. and everyday, he had to make an effort to persuade himself that you trusted him in return. you did of course, how could you not trust the one that had helped you through so much ?

but this wasn’t about trust ; it was about shame. because the last thing you wanted was to find in his eyes the anguish and fear as they were a few months ago. you couldn’t do that to him, yet you kept doing that to yourself.

however, you had the misfortune - which was more of a blessing really - to have a very observant boyfriend who cared about you. and he cared enough to gather the courage to finally ask you about what he had hoped you’d come to him for. sat next to you on the couch, he took the plunge. 

« do you… do you remember when you promised to always come to me if you needed help ? ». there, he had said it. and from the way that his arm tightened encouragingly around your waist, you understood what he meant by this innocent question. he kept speaking : « you know i trust you, right ? i really do. but something tells me that maybe you forgot about this promise recently ».

each of his words was carefully chosen, more than usual. because even if he didn’t show you, he was terrified of messing up. the fact that you were reluctant to answer was enough for him to understand that he had guessed right. but what confirmed it was the single tear that slowly streamed down your cheek.

« oh angel, no, come here. come, you’re ok now… » he spoke in a tone that was more comforting that anything you had ever heard. his arms were wide open for you to snuggle in, and when they wrapped around you, his words replayed once again in your head. i’m ok now, i’m ok now… you repeated internally. and you were, asahi was a man of his words after all.

« i’m sorry for being weak » you finally said after a few seconds of silence, voice half-muffled by his embrace. his warm fingers traced the outline of your face, encouraging you to look up to him. not because he needed to see your face, he already knew it by heart, but because you needed to see his. « weak ? y-you’re the furthest thing from weak. how can i even put it..? you are one of the strongest person i know, and i wouldn’t be half the man i am today if it weren’t for you. 

you wanted to thank him, but exhaustion took hold of your body before any word could leave your tight throat. and when you woke up - two hours later according to the clock - asahi was still there, holding you tight against his heart like a promise to never let go of you anymore.

➾ 𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐚

ushijima hated to waste time and energy on ‘petty fights’, as he liked to call them. but it was really frustrating to always feel like he avoided confrontation ; arguments were necessary in a relationship, and he didn’t seem to understand that.

whenever you got into fights, you were always the only one to get angry, which never failed to make you feel guilty afterwards. and eventually, this feeling of guilt started to become permanent, taking so much place in your brain that you had to sacrifice a part of the self-confidence you had built up the past months. but you didn’t know how much longer you could conceal it.

tonight was the first time you were sleeping together since your most recent fight, the one that had damaged you so badly. and you couldn’t lie, feeling his warmth next to you after about three days spent ignoring him almost felt like a reward. but a reward for what ? you were certainly not proud of what you had done, and you were terrified at the thought that he’d ever notice it. but unfortunately, your efforts to pretend like everything was ok were put to an end in the middle of the night, at about 3 am. something silly, really : ushijima had just turned around in his sleep, and his shoulder accidentally weighed on your wrist, making you hiss in pain. he immediately opened his eyes at the sound, his hand immediately finding its way to your side - he was always a light sleeper with you.

« are you ok ? » he asked, propping himself on an elbow, barely distinguishing your silhouette in the dark. « yeah, just my wrist. come on, let’s go back to sl- ». oh… that wasn’t supposed to be said out loud. it was hard to gauge his reaction since you could not properly see his face, but since he sat on the bed as soon as you interrupted yourself, you understood that it had not fallen on deaf ears. « are you comfortable with me turning on the lights ? » he asked, obvious concern in his voice. saying yes was tempting, because you knew this was a serious matter, but you couldn’t bring yourself to let him see you like this, vulnerable and ashamed.

ushijima accepted it of course, he knew he was not the best with words, so the least he could do was to make sure you were comfortable with whatever he decided to do. « is it ok if i hold you ? » he asked once again, his tone a bit more hesitant. the muscles in your jaw tensed at his words, it was more than ok, or at least you wanted to give it a try, but the worry you had caused him was bringing you back to the familiar feeling of guilt.

however, when he carefully made you rest on top of him like he had always done, something inside you felt healed to know that whatever you were going through did not impact every aspect of your life. his embrace felt the same, so did his heaving chest that rocked your body to sleep every night. surprisingly enough, you did not shed a tear. because the comfort finally felt stronger than the pain, you refused to let anything trouble this moment.

« are you ready to talk about it ? » he questioned, his voice rumbling like a soothing storm in his chest « or do you prefer to wait until tomorrow ? ».

ushijima might have avoided many discussions with you, but this one ? he simply refused to. and if he was more than ready to help you overcome your pain, he also knew not to pressure you into talking. words would come, eventually. but actions were always first.

➾ 𝐨𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚

despite his usually confident behavior, oikawa knew he had a tendency to second-guess each and every one of his actions, and to beat himself up quite often.

he could not remember the last time he had felt so utterly disgusted by himself, he was usually more careful with his words. but all it took was one angry outburst from him for you to withdraw into yourself - and he had to fix this as soon as possible.

luckily for him, your relationship was strong enough not to be too affected by this argument - which had not been your first, but definitely the biggest one. however, you had been affected. a lot actually. but you knew better than to talk to him about this, knowing that he would obviously take the blame for your relapse.

but oikawa was attentive, and, clever as he was, it did not take long for him to guess what you were going through when he saw the red-stained tissues in the bathroom trash. it had been two weeks since your fight, and just the thought that he had left you alone with your struggles for so long made him want to throw up.

without wasting any more second, he burst out of the bathroom and made his way to the living room where you were absent-mindedly watching a movie. he would have preferred to have a discussion with you with a clear head, but the sight of the tissues kept spiraling in his head and he was incapable of doing anything else but to pull you in for a hug whose suddenness made you gasp.

oikawa’s hugs were usually soft, with little kisses here and there and a few compliments chuckled in your ear. but today had nothing to do with those. his arms were engulfing your figure in a desperate need to feel you against him, like he was trying to make up for all the time he had left you alone. « i’m so sorry, so sorry baby… can you forgive me ? » he breathed out, his voice cracking with emotion. obviously you knew what he was referring to, how could you not know ? and just like him, the thousand words on your mind only transcribed in your arms wrapping around him, closing the last few millimeters that separated you as you frantically nodded your head yes. 

you did not think he had anything to be forgiven for, and sadly, you also knew that he would continue to blame himself no matter what your answer had been. that was actually your biggest motivation to begin your recovery journey. oikawa needed to know that, from now on, you’d turn to him instead of your old habits. and you wanted nothing more than to make him happy, so, since his happiness seemed to depend on yours, it could be considered a package deal towards a better future, together.

before you leave, here are links to two mental health support apps that i hope will help you deal what you are going through right now. i know it’s not much but i’ll be the happiest girl if this helped someone in the tiniest way. take care of yourselves ❤️

Calm Harm - Play Store | App Store

Wysa - Play Store | App Store

@toworuu @catwithangerissues

[saturnisfallingdown]

[ID: A tumblr reply from @lionofstone reading "sat this is me asking you about the comic books that live in your head please use this as an excuse to tell me everything ab them". End ID]

HI LJ. I LOVE YOU

SO.

Transit Lane is the big one that ive been rotating the longest!! Transit Lane follows two freshly adult adopted siblings from the rural pnw, Cassie and Atlas, who are aware that a multiversal travel system runs out of abandoned and forgotten public transit stops around the world. they use the system to adventure, with the ultimate goal being to create a functional map of the transit system, a task thats sisyphean at best!!!!

The whole comic run is a mishmash of genres and stories, with the ultimate moral and vibe being about forging joy for yourself in early adulthood through expression and relationships + rejecting nihilism. one must imagine sisyphus happy and all that

^^ atlas and cassie

[ID: Two digital sketches, the first is has a pink background, and shows a head and shoulders shot of a young white woman with shoulder-length curly hair, Atlas, smiling gently. She wears a polo shirt, cardigan, and stud earrings. The second sketch has a pale blue background, and shows a young Hispanic man looking upwards and smiling, Cassie. He has short dark hair with a bleached streak in the front. He wears square glasses, a jean jacket with a heart patch on the chest, and pearl earrings.

Also attached is an unfinished comic page featuring the two characters. Cassie stands in front of a shed in a grassy field, talking on the phone and saying "It's going great! I'm thinking of putting in a cot. Maybe nap breaks would make napping easier." A voice on the other end of the phone says "Lulled to sleep by the sweet sound of your noisy-ass computer fans." He replies "It's a white noise sorta thing! You wouldn't get it." The next panel shows Atlas, sitting on a bed playing guitar with her phone in front of her. She says "I'm sure I'm missing out." End ID]

I DONT HAVE MUCH ART FOR BLUE CANARY YET BC I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO DRAW DIGITALLY RECENTLY BUT.

[ID: A digital sketch of a woman with shaggy, shoulder-length hair resting a hand on their collarbone and staring forward blankly. Their eyes are bright blue, and a halo is faintly visible around their hair. Writing to the side reads "I can't get u alone!!!!" End ID]

Blue Canary is a recent creation! it follows Cara (name still pending but im liking cara currently !!), a college student from a coastal town who gets into a car accident traveling from home one night. in her barely-alive state, its revealed to her she's needed for a divine purpose, and an angel zaps down and makes room in her body for the both of them.

The whole story follows Cara and the angel as the angel wears Cara's body while Cara is still conscious and witnessing her new life play out. turns out Cara was desperate to no longer be at the wheel of her own life in the first place, and now is trying to convince the angel to stick around so she can experience life in the backseat. wuh oh !! all the while the angel, who's clearly got their own deal going on but is trying not to let it show, experiences humanity for the first time and slowly becomes more and more desperate to prove themself as a good and adjusted human being, specifically to Cara. they end up besties or something im gonna be honest this ones still mainly a bunch of sticky notes and scratches on napkins i wrote whilst at work

the general themes of the story are autonomy and unlearning hopelessness through connection and love. i imagine the art style would be inspired a lot by noir comics

t-shirt that reads ask me about the comic books that exist exclusively in my head

[gloopdimension]

I do also think that Pongo would be more like anticipatory for them, not to imply that Dedus isn't Happy but with how he plainly described them as seasonal I think this is like much less of a Thing for Dedus then it is for Pongo whose wanted kids like since before getting vaulted. And like I don't think Pongo was exactly Optimistic about how that would end for her so I imagine that by the time Dedus is like Hey btw? Baby jumpscare. He's already mourned the inability to experience that and made peace with it so she is of course So excited but I can absolutely see this opening old wounds and bringing up "what-ifs" that have long since been laid to rest, and potentially causing a lot more fretting over "Oh fuck what if Gibby comes back AGAIN to take this away from me" or "Oh fuck what if Wayne's current tormentous nightmare takes this away from me"

baby jumpscare iskilling me. AND YESYEYWYEYAYEYAYEYA ITD TOTALLY OPEN UP THOSE OLD WOUNDS, i think gorma would be like WAY overprotective bc shed let those fears get to her and i think shed need More than a few talks with dedus to get it into her head that she cant focus on the what ifs she has to focus on now. Not to say his fears arent Realistic they verrrry much are esp with hearing abt wayne! but its startin to get to him nd dedus can see by the way their bebbies act theyre starting to feel gormas stress too

[insomniac-jay]

OC Wedding Headcanons: Pro Heroes

Sakura x Kagehiko

Given that the two of them are in an arranged marriage and that they both come from very powerful and respectable families, the wedding was a pretty big deal.

It was held in Ibaraki at the Yamaniwa estate. It looked like this thanks to help from the rest of the Yamaniwas and their connection to nature.

Kagehiko was very nervous bc Ran hit him with that thousand yard stare and he knows she's not to fuck with.

Did I forget to mention that Sakura is a few months pregnant during this time? Well yeah, she's three months pregnant during their wedding.

Mariano (Sakura's father) made the dress himself that features ties to his daughter's mixed race heritage.

The ceremony was very beautiful. Both families surprisingly got along with each other.

The citizens of Ibaraki gave many gifts to the newlyweds. So much so that there was they had to be stored in separate storages.

Irefumi x Joou

Joou originally wanted the wedding to be in the Netherlands as a tribute to her maternal grandmother but Irefumi said nah we need to make it more exciting so they have it in Brazil.

(Plus he didn't wanna eat yt ppl food)

Midnight is not invited bc of the falling out but is sent a video of the wedding by Kimi (Joou's mom).

The Muses served as Joou's bridesmaids since she didn't have any friends at the time while a few of Irefumi's bandmates were his best men.

Joou's dress (that was personally designed by her dad) had lot diamonds in it but not to many to the point where it would be considered overkill and a blinding hazard.

She was surprised at how warm her new husband's parents were to her and how they greeted her with open arms. Cue her shedding a tear but quickly wiping it bc she's only really ever felt that kind of affection from her parents.

Irefumi performs a song he wrote about Joou and how much he loves her. Cue Joou being brought to tears by the whole thing bc his man just loves her so much.

Shukara x Sorami

Given that Sorami was the daughter of Japan's top hero at the time, the wedding was made a huge deal.

Mama Uche had a huge hand in the decisions because Sorami is her daughter and she deserved a wedding like no other. She picked out the decorations, colors, and venues.

Shukara makes sure to spend enough time with his bride to be before she gets dragged off dress shopping by her friends, cousins, aunts, and mother.

Speaking of him, because of the fact that the then King of the Ring was getting married was also made a pretty big deal. As you can imagine, many of his fangirls were disappointed

It's also during this time that he spends it a lot with his soon to be father-in-law. They both bond over having cute but blunt wives, positive outlooks on life, etc.

In the coming days, Sorami's anxiety is on 100 and she doesn't know how to make it stop. Luckily, Shukara is there to provide comfort.

@floof-ghostie @calciumcryptid @labgoth @pizzolisnacks @elflynns-horde-of-stuff @opalofoctober

[mnstrfcker]

Yooooo tell us about your yautja ocs! What are they like, what are their backstories etc etc I want to know EVERYTHING 🤩🤩

OKAY IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS QUESTION BC I AM LITERALLY VIBRATING WITH THE NEED TO GUSH ABT MY BOYS (Unfortunately I can't reveal anything abt their backstory as that would be major spoilers for anyone reading my story, but I am down to write abt their personalities!)

Okay so-

Ta'thiir

·A giant teddy bear. He was always the sweeter of the three, he got teased alot in his past for his big heart.

But make no mistake, he is one lethal hunter and his kindness is shown only to those who earn it.

·He is the messiest of the three. He simply sets something down and tells himself he'll get it later- which he does- after one of his brothers points it out.

(I feel you Ta'thiir, I really do.)

·Easily excitable. Anything as simple as a grin and giggle will have his heart soaring. He is the extrovert. Loves long, loud conversation.

Is a lover of the alcoholic drinks made on his home planet, doesn't drink too often but won't deny if you offer.

·Fiercely protective. If its something or someone he actually gives a damn about, he will tread the fucking clouds and kick down heavens door to fight god if it meant protecting it/them.

Me'Ki-Ta

·If grisl could be a person, it would be him. He is all rock, thorns and fire. He's got a 24 hr resting bitch face and punches people in his sleep. He dreams of violence, wakes up and chooses it.

·Has the worst temper out of them all. And many people would think he's cold and unfeeling, just angry. This is wrong. For a good reason, Me'Ki-Ta has had to harden his shell.

He is the most emotional of the three, if anything. He trusts his instincts almost to a fault, because the last time he ignored them it cost him nearly his entire clan.

He feels sadness, anguish, shame- it all comes out in an angry manner. The dude doesn't know how to be soft.

·Loves to read. This is not something Elite Hunters normally do, it was only highest ranking Yautja- known as Ancients- who read. Everyone knows how to, of course, but it is rare one would for leisure.

He likes the quiet entertainment they provide. A scene playing out in his head, vivid. Books can be violent and fell of war, or heartbreaking and bittersweet. He finds solace in the pages, able to feel without admiting to it.

·Cannot sit still. You will rarely find Me'Ki-Ta relaxing for longer than 2-3 minutes. This does include reading- he will have a book in his face while he tends to his hounds, or sharpening his blades.

·The most possessive out of the three. Borderline obsessive sometimes- he's got abandonment issues. Dude is just deathly afraid of losing people he cares about.

Mohtiat

·The goof of the group. Inappropriate jokes, pranks, its all him. Unless he ropes some poor soul into his games.

Please engage in playful banter with him, he loves that shit.

·Has slight OCD tendencies developed in the past, for example- he sharpens his blades evenly and three times on each side, if he differs he starts all over again until he gets it right or it feels okay to put them away. Look sideways at his knives and you'll get cut without touching it.

(His main fixation is repetition in even numbers.)

·The flirtiest. Dude was a champion during the time before the incident, he was quite the charmer. Now its much more subtle and toned down- but no less effective, believe me.

·Loves to fiddle with technology, he's the most curious of the three. He's the technician on the ship.

Has a bulky tool-belt he wears to repair anything- and yall, its a low rider. The way he wears it on his hips is something I shed tears about everyday.

·The best at expressing himself. He's a smooth talker, and is the best at showing just what hes feeling. He isn't afraid to look like an asshole it means protecting someone over their feelings.

Vaa'Leao

·If you look up 'bad bitch' in the dictionary you'll find her face plastered next to it. Sometimes I imagine her with a russian accent bc she WOULD be the brooding russian bounty hunter lady with 23 knives in her jacket.

"On Yautja-Prime, you either dominate or get dominated. Take that however you like."

·Will never admit it and would in fact die before doing so but she adores plants. So much. The main reason she goes hunting on Earth is for the prime sport and ✨succulents✨

·Dead-face heart-stoppingly blunt. If you have something in your teeth, she will tell you not matter who is there with you. If you made a mistake, she will point it out.

She sees it as helping, but desbite this she sometimes comes off as rude. The bars fights she's been in are legendary.

(Also- if she finds you attractive, she will tell you. And keep telling you until you either accept her advances or reject her. She won't speak word of it again if you say no.)

·Is very passionate about herself. Confidence 101 if it had legs and could take lives. She has a big ego, but she's got the skills and skulls to excuse it. She's just that good.

I'LL DO ONE FOR THE REAPER CLAN SOON- STILL FLESHING THEM OUT!!

I hope this is okay! I went WILD LMAO.

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Horse info 101

A horse girl’s guide to the basics for fic writing with an important and lively horse involved:

This got kinda long I’m kinda sorry but not at all lol 

There's three basic gaits (speeds with different patterns of hoof-fall/leg movements

Walking is the slowest and is a four beat gait, meaning each foot hits the ground at a different time. Usually the same pace as a walking human when the horse is calm. Some breeds can walk HELLA fast though. Most horses will fill the same spot/hole where their front hoof was with their back hoof on the same side. If they overstep they clip their fetlock (joint lookin bit above the hoof) or pastern (bit between the hoof and fetlock) and can injure themselves. 

Now trotting. The middle gait, a person can jog next to a trot at a comfortable pace but if you push them a little horses can trot faster than your average HS track endurance athlete. Once again some breeds can trot HELLA fast. This is a two beat gait in that two diagonally opposite legs are moving in unison. In some english saddles (I’ll get into that later if we have class time) it’s easier to post while the horse is trotting rather than sit for the gait. That just means you stand up in the irons (stirrups on an english saddle, we’ll also cover that later) at the same time that one of the front legs moves forward. 

Also, see how the trotting horse’s head looks? That’s how they travel when they’re relaxed and attentive. The tucked head thing you see Roach doing is because there’s tension on the reigns and Henry learned to ride for an english seat not a western pleasure seat (might get into those but they’re really not important)

Time for the Canter/Lope. This is a three beat gait so that means two legs are moving in unison and the other two are not. Horses canter/lope fast. This is the go-time gait. Some performance/dressage horses are trained to canter extremely slow but if we’re talking transportation trained horses they’re not gonna be that kind of slow. Your average human is not gonna be able to keep up with this for long if at all. This varies in speed too. There's a rather casual canter seen in the gif directly below, then below that is the balls to the wall canter/lope that most horse people just refer to as a run. That’s as fast as they can go.

Basic tack names

Halter + Lead/Lead Rope - these can be made of rope, leather, nylon (more modern) but the halter is generally used for leading and tying.

Bridle - this is the one that you use while you ride, it holds the bit in their mouth. There’s millions of different types of bridles but they’re usually made out of leather even now. sometimes you get rope/nylon ones but I don’t trust them.

Reins - connect to the bit and you use them to steer and control speed. Horses trained in western or one handed riding will ‘neck rein’ which means if you move your hand to the right and the left rein brushes their neck they will move to the right.

Bit - the metal piece in the horses mouth. most english riding bits are broken (joint in the middle) and most western ones are solid. there’s a gap behind the horse’s front teeth and that’s where the metal sits. Some horses have smaller mouths than others and do better with solid bits because the ‘broken’ ones will hit the top of their mouth and hurt. There’s also things called ‘shanks’ on some bits which are just longer pieces of metal that attach to the sides of the pieces in their mouth and point downward. This gives the rider more leverage and makes any tug on the reins stronger. (google “Horse bit shank” if this doesn’t make sense)

Saddle - you sit in it. simple right? wrong. There’s two main types of saddles, Western - with the horn like you see in the running gif, and English- the loping gif without the horn. The saddles used in the Witcher look like the pre-english saddle versions but the basic parts you need to know are the same. The part where you ass goes? that’s the seat. the part right in front of your crotch? That’s the pomel. that’s your ‘oh shit handle’ if anything goes screwy (other than the mane). The part that sticks up and keeps your ass in place? That’s the cantle. I like western saddles SO MUCH MORE but i also grew up mainly riding western so im biased. 

Stirrups/Irons - stirrups and irons are where your feet go. In western saddles they’re called stirrups and they’ve got wider decorative leather flaps (called fenders, also originally added to protect trousers/legs from the horse sweat and the buckles of the cinch) and on english saddles they’re called irons because they are usually made of iron and rather slim. Geralt’s irons look pretty similar to modern ones, slim leather straps, minimal iron (or steel or any other strong metal really). Traditional english riders have knee high boots like you see in regency costumes which removes the need for the fenders like on western saddles. 

Cinch/girth - this is what keeps the saddles on. You take a strap and attach it to one side of the saddle, run it under the belly right behind their front legs and attach it to the other side. Its usually made of a strong fabric with wool or some kind of softer lining for western riding. English riding uses a leather one most of the time though this horse girl hates them because they’re harder to cinch up. English saddles use buckles while Western saddles use another leather strap to run through the chinch/girth buckle and you either tie it off or use it like a belt. 

Chest strap - this keeps the saddle from sliding backwards. It’s attached to both sides of the saddle by buckles and between the front legs its attached to the cinch/girth. this is pretty universal but not always used. Geralt uses one though. 

Saddle pad - goes under the saddle to protect the baby’s back and whithers (spot where the neck meets the back and the mane ends)

Tacking up and untacking takes time. This is usually 5-10 minutes when done at a leisure pace and done right.

Basic grooming

Brush down before tacking up - you don’t want stuff chaffing the pony while you ride

brush after untacking- helps clear skin of irritants and feels nice

Shedding scraper/curry comb to get rid of shedding hair - if you want a pic of these just google them I think I’m close to the pic limit for my post. 

HOOF PICK - keep the baby's feet clean and clear if rocks so they don't bruise but also so nothing get infected

Yes, plz brush their mane it gets MATTED - a hairbrush works but a wide tooth comb is best

Horses roll to itch their backs and clean off, sounds counterintuitive with the dirt but it works

Shaving a little spot for the bridle to sit is pretty modern but it's easier for everyone involved

Horse Colors- guys roach is not brown she’s a chestnut color

The only thing I have to add to this is that the “Leopard” one is called “appaloosa” in the US at least, and “Pinto” is also reffered to as “Paint” and there’s all sorts of different patterns that you can see. also i want a buckskin so bad. yes i was obsessed with Spirit as a child why do you ask?

Travel care of your babies

Horses CAN and have subsisted off roadside grasses and grazing at night BUT it's good for them to get a lil something extra ESPECIALLY if you’re keeping them in a stall at night where they can’t graze.

Hay and grains like cracked wheat, oats, barley and the like are commonly found in horse feed. Also a lil drizzle of molasses is chock full of calories and all my horses LOVE the taste.

also while we’re talking food: some horses cant keep all the juice/bits in their mouth when they eat apples (we fondly call it making applesauce) or other treats/veg. Yes it gets all over your hand, yeah its kinda gross, but there’s worse things.

Shoes. Babe's need horse shoes. Especially if they're walking over rocks and roads.

Throwing a shoe (when it comes off on accident) is painful sometimes and if left un-dealt with can affect their joints and spine. Imagine walking around in one heeled shoe and one athletic shoe all day. Ow.

On that note though, on lighter travel seasons it's nice to give their hooves a break from shoes (also cheaper)

Horse moods:

horse mood ear chart here: I cant add much tbh

If a horse is comfortable/happy/relaxed they will ‘chew’ on nothing. Just kina a little lip smack type deal. My horse’s bottom lip would hang a couple centimeters below his top one when he was relaxed and I would put my chapstick in it while I fussed with other things.

When a horse is uncomfrotable/scared/tense their lips get sealed tight. I call it ‘fish butt lips’ bc they’re watertight and NOTHING is getting in there. 

Stamping hooves can be a few things. Antsy and ready to roll, nervous, deadass scared, or playful/excited. 

A full whinny is communication - saying hi, warning, scared, etc.

the really soft whinny is called a nicker and its my favorite sound okay? that’s little soft communication and its usually reserved for times when they’re comfortable.

When they’re really relaxed they’ll cock one of their back legs kinda how we shift our weight to one hip. 

general fun facts:

Some horses fake limp when they don’t want to work bc they are lazy and smart and realize their person will get off and check them out and maybe even give them a rest. 

You do a preliminary leg injury test by running your hands slowly over their legs and checking for hot spots - inflammation caused by injury is warm

Basic horse saftey is never stand directly in front of the horse if theres a possibility of spooking, if you’re gonna walk behind them walk out of reach of their hooves or right up against that ass. If they cant get a good wind up it wont do as much damage (on that note though I rode/trained horses for 18 years and was only kicked once by a foal). 

It’s kinda common sense not to walk/sidestep between your horses legs and under their belly but we do it all the time bc its a trust thing? adrenaline? its fun?

laying on your horse’s back sans saddle, and facing their butt is so nice okay, that ass is soft and cushy and perfect for a nap. I miss laying on my horses while they ate like this every damn day. 

Horses can sense your moods. Not unlike the whole ‘witchers smelling you’ thing. They can feel a difference in the tension on the reins and in your posture when you’re tense or relaxed.

Some horses will take care of their riders, some are absolute shits and push the limits for funsies. Some horses will only behave for people they’re used to too. Some horses have trauma from being mistreated and will have triggers kinda like people do. We had a horse who would freak the fuck out if anyone walked around with a red had but as soon as you took it off she was the most level headed horse we had.

A good portion of horses (Who aren’t scared of children) will behave better with kiddos or novice riders because they feel they’re nervous.

If they hurt while they’re moving they usually limp but sometimes they’ll buck. It’s their defense mechanism. 

Horses can’t sleep for too long laying down because their body weight will collapse their lungs. Most horses sleep standing up.

They can sit like a dog and it’s hella cute. 

Stung by bees? Most horses will take off at a dead sprint bucking and hopping unless you’ve done a lot of trust work/training with them

They also run and jump and buck and rear to play.

If theres two horses in a pasture together one will chew at the other’s whithers (or anywhere else) to ask them to scratch them the same way. its very cute and they sometimes try this with people.

horses hug. I cry. 

the whole deal with the rider/horse relationship is it’s a mutual trust you’re building. They let you sit on their back and do weird shit and you trust them not to throw you.  

Thank you for coming to class today! If there’s any questions feel free to message me! I’m not kidding I wanna answer your questions and I miss my horses so this is fun for me.

@elliestormfound​ here it is boo! lol 

[tezzbot]

Hi! I wanted to say that I LOVE your art style - it’s so cute!! I love how you draw the varying pony races so differently, I was wondering if there was any particular thought process that went into designing them? Or was it just something that sort of happened naturally over time? Either way would you be willing to share? I love seeing artists design processes! If not, ten that’s totally fine - I hope you have a wonderful day <333!

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE KIND OF ASK TO GET CLAPS MY LITTLE HANDS TOGETHER RAPIDLY

i Have made a similar post to this in the past but uhuhhuh i want to do it AGAIN >:] some things im gonna say are headcanons or just my general interpretations for the pony types, i dont think any of em are like. controversial at all but i just thought id clarify jic anyones like "no theyre not!!11!!1" lol

first of all THANK YOU that means sm<33

now into my convoluted horse thoughts HJGFHG i went a lot more in depth than my last one i think lmaooo

ill start w earth ponies bc they are the blueprint<3 and also my favs lol. earth ponies are naturally the strongest breed of pony, so my designs for them are more Built and stocky than the others, im not sure why i decided their heads should be taller, so both eyes are usually visible, i guess it makes them look a bit more Structured if you get what i mean? their hooves are the most exposed of the three because they use them for pretty much everything, (w some exceptions that they use their mouths for lol) for all the manual labour and stuff they need to do and just like. walking around sm uknow lol. the fur around their hooves can vary just based on how I personally think theyd style it, so for instance take applejack, i dont really think shed Do much with hers other than trim it and move on since shes very much function over form, but with pinkie pie, her fur is styled in a rounder way, honestly mostly on my part because it goes with the rest of her generally round design :P but i imagine that as a filly hers was trimmed flat since her parents seem very prim and working on a rock farm having hair in the way of your hooves which youre using to sort through probably sometimes very fine rubble doesnt make sense. and the Fun part: their general shapes, i love using the shapes in a character to signify personality and whatnot, so AJ is a sturdy workhorse whos been on a farm her whole life, shes also what i feel is a very reliable and stable presence in her friends lives so i make her Huge and rectangluar to signify those kinds of things? pinkie on the other hand is a fun loving party planner who lives in the town bakery! she also spent a significant portion of her life on a rock farm so, she's also very sturdy in typical earth pony fashion but she's also on the shorter end of my mane 6 lineup, this is bc i feel that all the pies are p short bc if theyve mined for a living (seemingly for generations) itd make more sense for them to be little to fit better into underground structures and whatnot, but pinkie herself is round and bouncy to fit her fun-loving bubbly personality! and ofc bc she LOVES all of the cakes at sugarcube corner :P

pegasi are generally the most lithe and athletic of the breeds, due to their near constant usage of their wings in everyday life. all my pegasi looka like fuckin sock puppets(affectionate) fkjdgfd uhh because it makes them feel way more aerodynamic to me, like if youre gonna be going at any kind of Speed up there youre gonna need the least amount of wind resistance possible, this is also why theyre generally the shortest type of pony, less animal for those little wings to heave around lmao. their hooves are completely covered in fur because i wanted to make them look soft, as if they actually could stand on clouds, their hooves are the most delicate of the breeds as theyre not Really designed to be on the ground at all, but they can build up a tolerance over time! ive sort of been playing with the idea that fluttershy's hooves are very slightly visible bc of her line of work? idk tho lol. pegasi ears are the shortest of all the breeds for aerodynamic purposes and theyre very fluffy on the insides to prevent unwanted stuff getting in while theyre in the air :] the fluffy feathers can also appear around the sides of the pegasi's heads n the amount can vary SHAPES!! rainbow dash is pretty obvious, shes small lithe and her head is flat as a pancake, snout All Forward, no extra feathers her wings are longer, more pointed i guess, shes a speedster!! she needs to be Smooth and little to be as fast as she can be >:P and for fluttershy, shes shy and more into herself, she can be quite awkward so to show this her snout is turned down and more curved, shes also fairly tall and gangly for a pegasus, she has fluffy feathers around her head and her wings are more round and fluffy, theyre shorter than RD's but theyre wider, better built for gliding than speed i guess

unicorns are honestly Fully like. ornamental physically. theyre pretty shitty at most physical activities but thats because they become reliant on their magic for most everyday things, they all have a pointed snout to exhibit that fact too lol some are curved some are just straight up triangles just based on what i think their vibes are lmao. their hooves are mostly covered in fur with the exception of the fronts which shows off the fact that theyre cloven, its sort of a half and half kind of situation with it half being because i wanted to it to look kinda decorative but also it could be because that, They Are on the ground at all times like earth ponies, Unlike earth ponies however, they arent built in a way that favours the sorts of manual labour that EP's would be used to, again, theyd use their magic for anything like that. their horns vary slightly in size and shapes, my thoughts behind this dont make a lot of sense but in my canon, the better a unicorn is at magic, like the more powerful, the longer and thinner the horn, so unicorns like rarity who only use their horns for stuff like levitation or like sunburst just arent That gifted in the magic department their horns are thicker than those who can do more advanced magic or just have stronger magic innately ilke starlight have thinner and longer horns, whether a unicorns horn is curved or not has no bearing on their like. magical ability its just a stylistic thing on my part so no trixie isnt shit a magic bc her horns bent LMAO. also their tails are. theres a word for it hold on. is it prehensile?? icr but its the shit where its like a cats tail but w mane-like fur on the end, these also vary in length and thickness those are also vibe based lmao. their ears are the longest of the breeds and they have curled fur on the insides of em, they can be rounded or pointed on the top. i dont rlly feel like i need to explain rarity shes pointed and neat all over like youd expect a prissy, wanting to seem upper class unicorn would be, i made her on the fatter side because i feel like its fitting, and also both of her parents were that way too, i feel like it could be genetic too

alicorns were kind of difficult to like. 'deal with' ?? i guess because having to combine all three of these things i had set rules out for was kinda difficult but, i just kinda wing it lmao. so with celestia and luna (while im still working on their designs) we dont really know how they originated but i sorta landed a sort of a stereotypical alien-like design for them? ig its bc theyre like. sort of foreign and different to their subjects?? whereas with twilight shes just a very recent alicorn and so her body is still adjusting to the features she gained by aquiring earth pony and pegasus magic so the differences are more.. obvious i guess?? but with her Base being unicorn those traits are the strongest in her design, and i havent drawn cadence yet but hers will be in a similar way but since she was a pegasus first her pegasus traits will be more apparent, but as shes grown more than twilight she'll be in sort of a transitional look? thats closer to celestia and luna's alicorn specific design i guess? flurryheart's design, i was kind of just thinking she was entirely just a fluffy alagamation of all three breeds rather than just immediate alicorn, i guess because since she was born an alicorn, her genes weren't entirely sure of what to do since she's the first natural born alicorn but as she grows she'll take on the alicorn shape? or not idk lol. alicorns in general uhh their ears are REALLY big versions of their base forms' with traits from the other two breeds obv, and their their horns are Long since alicorn magic is more potent and therefore just naturally more powerful so. long horn. their hooves are what their base breed's looked like but, again, with the others features their tails are prehensile(?) like unicorns but the mane like hair that comes off of it not only comes off the end but extends the full way up the bottom of the tail uhh idk if i missed anything but thats. p much it i guess!!

with combo babies like the cake twins, i just kind of mash the two species together in a way i think looks best lol like they both have the structured earth pony heads but pound has the long pegasus snout and pumpkin has an upward turned pointed unicorn snout and their hooves are more exposed like an earth ponies :P

ANYWAY. SORRY LONG POST LOL