#sheba is such an awful gremlin child

[pan-magi]

The Alma Tran arc should have emphasized more on religious trauma and indoctrination. In this essay, I will-

[devolympian]

I’ve been working on chapter 4 of my novel for awhile now but I’m not sure if I like it. I was thinking about restarting but would like to hear other peoples opinions first. Please give this a read and tell me your honest thoughts about the characters dialogue and how the chapter feels to you.

Once our houses were in view I pushed down on the breaks and slowly brought us to a stop right next to the curb of Skyes place.

“Attention passengers” I said, while cupping my hand over my mouth for a good muffled effect, “we have arrived at our destination. If you lost luggage on the way or were harmed during travel it was your own fault.”

“You know” Skye stated as she took her helmet off, “when a light turns yellow it does not mean that you should go faster.”

“It does if you’re racing.”

“And who were you racing?”

Exactly on que Clairabell pulls up behind us in her cute, pink, corvette. Skyes new little buddy raindrop wasn’t too far behind.

“What the hell guys” Clair demanded as she stepped out, “why did you go so fast?”

“Cause you gotta go fast.”

Rolling her eyes, but still smiling, Skye shoved her helmet on my head and slid off my bike. It squeezes my head, like a lot, but I leave it on cause it makes me look funny.

Raindrop follows Skye as she walks through her chain linked gate and I offer my hand to Clair.

“Ma lady, shall I escort you to this fine establishment?”

“Only if you wipe the sweat off first” She tells me with a smirk that flashes her long and sharp canines.

“Motorcycle. They make your hands wet.”

“You should put that on a shirt.”

“I actually did, like as soon as I got that thing. The money from that is gonna put Fiona through college and is currently fueling my addiction to carbonated drinks.”

“Wait, soda’s addictive?”

“Probably.”

“Hey” Skye calls out to us, “you guys coming?”

I smile at her and then grab Clairs hand with my moist, sweety, icky fingers and rush towards Skye.

“Ew” she groans, “Zee, I told you to wipe them off.”

“Yep, you sure did.”

“Babe, I love you, but I will break your fingers.”

“Fair Enough.”

“How does your hand get like that any way” Skye asked me as she eyes my hand as it interlocks with Clairs?

“My gloves did it. They get super warm and just wreck my hands.”

Skye and Clair both look at with confused and befuddled expressions. And, yes, confused and befuddled do mean the exact same thing.

“Oh” Skye finally responds, “is that all?”

“Well what did you think the answer was?”

“I don’t know.”

“It’s you” Clair adds, “we just sort of assumed it would be something, a little out there.”

I give both of them a hurt look and let go of Clairabells hand before placing mine onto my chest with a loud gasp. Stepping away I reach into my pocket with my other hand and pull out a small cube with a bright red carving on it.

“You mean” I say, while still holding the heartbroken look onto my face, “something like this?”

I promptly smash the flame rune on top of my head and light my hair on fire.

“I! Am! Ghost rider!”

“Pretty much, yeah” Skye bluntly tells me.

“Oh dang, I need to work on my shtick.”

“Or you could stop lighting yourself on fire” Clair suggested.

Skye then promptly grabbed the hose on her front porch and turned the knob at the tip causing the water to trickle out.

“Undine.”

With the spell word out of her mouth, the hose instantly blasted me in the face, putting out my awesome new hair style.

“ . . .Honestly, you probably should just start keeping water on you at all times. You know I’m just going to light myself on fire again.”

“I really wish you wouldn’t” a very familiar voice states from behind the girls, “it’s getting harder to replace the clothes you burn up.”

I look over the girls shoulders as they turn to greet the woman behind them.

“In all honesty, that could be avoided if you just bought me like fire fighter gear or something.”

As usual for when she’s gardening, her wheat colored hair was tied up into a ponytail and her brown tank top and tan cargo shorts were caked in dirt. In her glove covered hands was a pot which housed a red flower covered in purple polka dots. 

“Hello Kore” Clair nervously blurts out as she tries to look not freaked out.

“Hi Zees mom” Skye happily says as she waves.

“Hi Skye” Eema says, intentionally ignoring Clair, “how’s the night going for you kids?”

“I got a worm,” I happily told her.

“I saw. It was on the news. Do not bring it into the house.”

“I make no promises.” I then promptly turn to head into Skyes home, “we’re gonna play vidyer games now. Real pew pew stuff.” 

Eema rolls her eyes in response before setting the plant she was carrying onto the ground.

“Oh,” she states jumping back up before calling to us, “Skye, your mom needs your help outback.”

“Huh” Skye stutters out, before getting a look that says she knows what Eema is talking about, “right, sorry.”

With that, Clair and I watched Skye rush to the side of her house, her long curly mess of blonde hair trailing behind her.

“I’ll see you guys inside” she yells to us before disappearing into her backyard.

Her new little familiar, the water pegasus Rain drop, decided to ignore where it’s master had gone and instead began helping itself to the water from the still turned on hose.

“Is it safe for that thing to drink from there” Clair questioned as the horse gorged itself on hose water? “Aw no worries” I answered, “there’s only like a 75% chance it’ll get lead poisoning. Now, to the mind numbing rpg!”

“Send your sister home when you’re done,” Eema told me as I opened the door.

“Will do.” 

Stepping into Skyes home Clair and I were greeted by the sight of three eight year olds riding around on a giant black cat. Her name’s Sheba and she’s a good kitty.

“Hi Zee” one of the kids happily yelled at me.

“Hello young travelers” I responded with my best old english accent, “art though off on a grand adventure to slay the wicked monsters that plague this kingdom.”

“No” the boy sitting behind the first child answered, “we’re just riding our kittie.”

“Stop being a dork” the girl on the very back demanded of me.

Now, if you will allow, I am going to describe these three little gremlins to you fine readers in hopes you will have a clear visual picture of what they look like.

The two upfront were basically little Skyes, but with dark brown hair instead of blonde and one was biologically male. These are her little baby brother and sister, Nina and lucky little Luke. And, if you looked hard enough, you could see a few freckles decorating their dark skin.

The smaller girl on the back had straight red hair with her bangs cut flat so you could perfectly see her lightning blue eyes. This was my adorably pressase little sister Fiona Green, who adored and worshiped her super cool and talented big brother like the god he is.

“Move” Fiona yelled, “Sheba wants outside!”

I responded to my loving sister's request by sitting down and petting the panther on her head.

“Who’s a good girl” I ask the cat as she purrs from head scritches, “Sheba is, yes she is.”

“No” Nina objected, “he’s stealing the cat.”

“Counter attack” Luke yelled.

The three small children jumped off the giant cats back and leaped at me with all their combined power.

Naturally, they knocked me to the ground with ease.

“We got him” they all cheered.

However.

“Bwahahaha” I laughed as I rose from the ground, the children clinging to me, “did thee truly think that would be enough to slay thy! For I have no weakness!”

“Got ya” Clair cheered as she wrapped around me from behind.

“Ahh, my one weakness!” 

Turning around, and making sure the kids and Clair were safe from getting hurt, I fell onto the heavily cushioned couch with all four of them giggling.

“What’s going on out there” a man's voice called from the kitchen nearby.

I sit up slightly on the couch, with Clair and the kids still holding onto me, and see a tall man step into the frame of the kitchen entrance. He had deep dark skin, curly brown hair which bordered on black and thick glasses that covered his blue eyes. 

This is Skyes dad, Stanley Right. He is also a writing teacher and will straight up give you homework if you spell anything wrong.

Silver Lining, I is a rally good at the spolling of words now and gramericals.

“Oh” he said, taking note of Clair and I, “hey guys, what’s up.”

“Daddy” Nina yelled, leaping off of me and over the couch, “ Zee’s trying to steal Sheba.”

“I stopped him,” Luke stated, proudly standing on the back of the couch. I had to hold his shirt collar to make sure he didn’t fall to the floor. 

“Did not, I did!”

“No” Fiona added in, as she stood on my stomach, “he’s my brother, so I did!”

“I’m sure you all did a great job keeping Sheba safe,” Stan assured the kids as he petted the cats head, “now please stop playing on the couch and come eat, dinner’s ready.”

“Ok” they all said at once.

Luke and Fiona both leaped off the couch, with Fiona making sure she dug her feet into my gut so she could jump high enough. She honestly should be in football with how hard she kicks. Also, I should probably see a doctor.

I won’t but I should.

“Are you guys hungry” Stan asked us as we started sitting up, “it’s meatball night?”

“Oh I can’t” Clair said, “I ate too much already.”

“I’ll take some balls in my mouth” I happily told Skyes dad, “you got rice with it?”

“Mashed potatoes” he told me, “but we used rice to make the meat balls.”

“Ooh, nice.”

I followed Stan into the kitchen while Clair chilled out on the couch and started messing around on her phone.

In the kitchen, the kids sat at an oval shaped table with plates in front of them that were filled with fluffy garlic butter mashed potatoes, two large meatballs with bits of rice in them, all of which were slightly covered with pork and mushroom gravy.

All three, thinking they were being sneaky, shared with Sheba who was begging at their feet.

“Here ya go” Stan said as he finished making a similar plate and held it out to me.

Naturally, most likely sensing that there was food with her food sense, Skye opened the nearby sliding backdoor and stepped into the kitchen. Her sweater and skirt had dirt sprinkled all over them and her glasses looked way more smudged then normal.

Close behind her was a slightly taller woman  who honestly could have passed as Skyes twin sister if it weren’t for the fact that she was of a much lighter skin tone. 

She had her ankle length blond hair tied in a tight bun and wore red gardening shorts with a tight white tank top which Skye has repeatedly begged her not to wear in public because of the tingly feeling it gave people when they saw her in it. 

Apparently Skye didn’t like the fact that her mom, whose name is Trina, was the current crush of half the people in the neighborhood. A fact which I personally found hilariously. 

“Skye” Nina yelled as she turned in her chair to greet her big sister. “Look!”

The little girl promptly reached into her pocket and held out a small, slightly yellow, tooth.

“Is that your tooth” Skye asked, a slightly worried look on her face.

You might think that’s a dumb question, but those twins tryed to set up a tooth ponzy scheme by tricking other kids into giving them their teeth. They made about 40 bucks before their mom put a stop to it.

“It is” Trina assured her, “but the way she got it out is a bit-”

“I punched her in the face,” Luke proudly stated.

“He did,” Fiona stated, “there was a lot of blood.”

“It took us five trys,” Nina happily added, clearly unbothered by the fact that her brother repeatedly bashed her face in.

“We’re going to get it traded in tomorrow” Trina sighed, “and until then neither of you are going on the computer. Are we clear.”

“Yes mommy” the twins said in unison, clearly not wanting to upset their mother anymore then they already had.

“I was uninvolved,” Fiona argued, “I’m not being punished too right?”

“You were there,” Nina stated.

“Yeah,” Luke added, “that makes you an accomplish, an accompouly, an accompert. . . you’re guilty!”

“Ok” Skye said, as she tried her best to understand the logic of seven year olds, “why did Luke even punch- are those meatballs?” 

“Yep” Stan said as he walked a plate over to his wife, “here you go hun. Fresh warm balls.”

“Ew” Skye stated, “dad, don’t make jokes like that.”

“Thank you Stanny” Trina stated as she gave her husband a quick kiss, “I just adore your BALLS!”

“Mom!”

“Oh baby,” Stan told his wife, clearly picking up on the fact that they were tormenting their eighteen year old daughter, “these BALLS are all for you!”

“Please stop!”

“Oh come on” Trina stated as she sat down with her other two children and Fiona, “I need to praise your dad's BALLS, he has great BALLS!”

The three kids, and myself, promptly burst into uncontrollable laughter at the repeated shouting of the word balls.

“Okay, gross, ew, gross” Skye stated as she walked over to me, “can I please just eat.”

“You can still eat” I asked as she got her plate ready?

“I’m a growing girl.”

She finished stacking a few meatballs on top of her giant pile of mashed potatoes before opening the fridge and handing me a can of soda.

“Oh” she stated, two more sodas balanced in her filled arms, “can we eat in my room? We wanted to play games.”

“Sure” Stan said, “just bring your plates down when you're done.”

“Okay, thanks guys.”

“Don’t stay up too late,” Trina yelled as we exited the kitchen.

“Yo” I said to Clair as she reclined on Skyes couch, her phone in hand, “we heading up.”

“Dibs on the red controller” she said as she leaped off the couch and followed after Skye.

Jokes on her, I wanted the pink controller anyway. It has pretty flowers and sparkles on it.

The upstairs of Skyes house was made up of a short hallway with a closet at the end of it, one master bedroom on the left side and Skyes room and a bathroom on the right. The twins made their room in the garage which honestly was a pretty cool deal with how much their parents renovated it for them.

Other than which side they were on, the best way to tell which room was Skyes was by the pokemon stickers and cut out anime characters taped onto the door and the sign she hung on the door knob that said “welcome to the dungeon”. I have the same sign hung on the door to my basement if anyone was wondering.

With a quick turn of the knob, Clair and I were greeted by the scent of rosemary and lavender which filled a room decorated with a string of lights hung across the sealing, anime posters on the wall, and a few cute stuffed animals resting on the shelves a neatly made twin sized bed. 

Over on the right side of the room were two large book shelves filled with books, manga, and comics which we have spent years repeatedly reading together. It also had a few toys and figurines strewn about it that added a bit of flare. 

I make a mental note to stock up my personal collection of action figures and anime toys because they are awesome and everyone should have them decorating their living areas.

A little to the right of the book shelves was a tall entertainment stand with a TV set on top of it and two game systems hooked up on the bottom. Several games sat next to the consoles, just begging us to play them.

Skye walked in first and switched off the string of lights so she could use a more simple overhead light.

“What do you guys want to play” she asked before setting down her food and the two drinks, “oh, here Clair.” 

She handed Clair one of the drinks as we sat on the two of the three cushions set directly in front of the TV.

“Thank you gorgeous” Clair said with a smile.

She opened it and took a quick sip before leaning forward to check out which video game would catch her eye.

Skye, meanwhile, started stripping off her dirt covered clothes while I enjoyed a nice helping of balls and white stuff in my mouth.

“How about soul calibur?”

“Naw” I said through bites, “you two will just get pissed off at me.”

“That’s because you constantly spam the same gosh darn move,” Skye said as she slipped her tank top off, “how about Isac?”

“That’s one player,” Calir said.

“Blondie” I asked, “why don’t you have a bra on?”

“None of them are fitting” she grumbled, “they shrunk in the wash or something.”

“Yeah you keep telling yourself that.”

After slipping her stockings and shoes off Skye tossed her dirty clothes into a small laundry basket at the end of her bed and headed to the restroom she had between her bookshelf and TV, a fact which I find weird as hell because no room, other than ones you vacation too like hotels, needs a bathroom in it. That is an unnecessary luxury and I stand by it no matter what you say.

“Here” Clair practically screamed.

She happily sat up and showed me the game she had chosen for us.

Quest, original edition. A fun little JRPG from way back in the old times of the 1970’s that got relaunched last year. The game is basically your run of the mill save the princess story from an evil lord while playing as either a mage, warrior, or rogue with two friends.

Combat is fun, original japanese diolage is translated in stupid english, and you can murder an old man for a magic pumpkin. What’s not to love?

Granted the original version is a little dated, what with it’s casual display of several racial stereotypes, rampant sexism, and dated social political views on several races that aren’t human.

But it also had an awesome mini game where you fight in a giant robot so I guess you need to take the good with the bad.

“Sounds good” I tell her before yelling at Skye, “blondie, we found a game.” 

“Kay” she yelled back, “just let me get my contacts in and jammies on.”

“Dude, why do you keep your clothes in the bathroom closet?”

“Why don’t you?”

Fair enough.

Before Skye could leave her, completely unnecessary, bathroom Clair was already turning on one of the consoles and putting the game in.

With calming harp music playing the, name of the game, spelt with sparkling golden letters, slowly materialized against a brick red backdrop. The words “press any button” flashed at the bottom of the screen.

“Here you go” Clair said, handing me my favorite controller as she held hers firmly in her other hand.

Taking my pretty pink controller I readly tap a random button.

“New game” I ask the girls when our options show up.

“Yes” they both yell.

An epic trumpet sound erupts from the TV as soon as I hit the new game option before the screen goes to a deep black and the word loading flashes on the lower right.

Skye stepped out to join us and was now dressed in a white tank top and dark blue bike shorts. Her curly mess of blond hair was undone and fell to the floor of her room and her green eyes were no longer covered by her glasses.

“Why hello girl who desperately needs a haircut” I teased as Skye took her seat, food and drink in hand, “glad you could join us on our epic quest to slaughter the innocent demons caught in their king's political scandal.”

“It’s still kind of weird that they took out the human characters people were mad about but left the demons as is” Skye said as she took her controller, “also, I will never cut this mess. I have been growing it for way too long to turn back now.”

“Game’s starting” Clair informed us.

Starting at the bottom of the screen, bright yellow words began to slowly slide up.

“Why hello young travelers,” an old man's voice said as the words appeared, “I welcome thee to thine-”

“Skip” I state before repeatedly tapping the X button and skipping through the dialog.

“Alex” Skye exclaimed, clearly annoyed that I was trying to get to the game as soon as possible.

“Dude, this intro is like five minutes long and we’ve seen it like a hundred times now.”

“Yeah but it’s still a fun story. The introduction’s the best part.”

“And thus” the old man continued, “the king spread his seed throughout the line, hoping to father an heir who would raise-”

“Okay skip it.”

“Was that in the Japanese version” Clair asked as she switched from sitting on the pillow to laying on her stomach.

“No” I informed them, “the original had his son banging all the prostitutes and abandoning all his bastard children.”

“Oh wow that’s so much better.”

“Now tell me heroes,” the old man finished, “whom are you?”

On the screen appeared a cute young girl with braided white hair and dressed in a red robe standing between a large man in golden armor and a person in a dark brown cloak, whose gender is still being argued about to this very day.

“Dibs on the warrior” Skye yelled before instantly clicking on the hulking monster in armor.

“Cute girl” Clair screamed as she selected the red mage. 

“And I will screw with everyone” I proudly state right before selecting the best character, the rogue who can steal from any npc, set traps, and gives Skye and Clair a headache because setting the traps right in front of them is really fun. 

Which I did the moment the game started and inflicted both of their characters with poison.

“. . .Why do we let him be the thief again?”

“Cause neither of us want to be the thief.”

Mwahahaha.