#she's worried about me saying fuck in class but other kids can talk about killing each other

[funlovesfandoms]

I made a playlist in my English class, I hate that class so much. But! The playlist is a banger, at least, I think so. Here it is → https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6DdR88JwfsvF6BN9sIp2Fe?si=c39702466b6c46bf

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

can you see the stars in your dreams (and do they have a lot to say about me) - Part 11

Or: a secret Admirer AU

PART 1 || PART 2 || PART 3 || PART 4 || PART 5 || PART 6 || PART 7 || PART 8 || PART 9 || PART 10

Steve waits until everyone’s gone home to open the letter. Chrissy had ribbed him over not sharing but, no matter how supportive she is, she just doesn’t get it—she can’t. No matter what she’s shared, her and Jeff are clearly dating. And even if they hadn’t been, Jeff likes girls. The worst thing that would’ve happened is him turning her down.

With Eddie? The worst thing that could happen is total annihilation.

And Steve’s never been good at holding himself back. He cares fast, and he cares hard, and he can never quite stop, no matter what changes, or how much distance he puts between himself and the other person. Look at Nancy, and Tommy, and Carol, and his parents, and every single relationship he’s had where he’s all in, and the other person never meets him. He doesn’t even need halfway, hell, he’d take a quarter.

But even that’s never how it works out. If there’s one thing he’s learned, it’s that Steve Harrington is too much, always.

So, if his fingers shake as he opens the letter, who can blame him?

But, inside is everything he could have ever asked for—Because you’re it, baby. He caresses the words, fingers trembling, heart shuddering in his chest to a beat that sounds a lot like, “maybe, maybe, maybe.”

He knows it’s stupid. This letter isn’t for Steve, not really. It’s Chrissy’s face Eddie pictured when he wrote it, Chrissy’s lips he imagined kissing, Chrissy’s hand he imagined holding. But, it’s hard to remember, when there’s such longing on the page in front of him.

He doesn’t know what to say, thoughts running too fast to pick them out and write them down. He tries, pen stuttering over the page in half-formed sentences, until he’s left with:

  Eddie —

  You don’t want to know what I

  Someone has loved you. I love

  I’ll take anything you

  Fuck

Hee crumples the letter up into a ball, and tosses it across the room toward the trash bin. He shoots, he misses, he lays down with all the lights still on.

Steve stares down at Eddie’s letter, helpless in the face of the bubbling hope, unwilling to squash it. He folds the letter back up and puts it under his pillow, hoping for dreams, just like Eddie had said.

He doesn’t.

Steve’s tired the next morning, zoning out during class, and shuffling through the halls like a zombie. Chrissy keeps sending him worried looks, and even Robin asks if he’s okay in Mrs. Click’s class, which she was right, they do share.

Steve tells her he’s just tired, and she drops it, but there’s a sad, knowing smile on her face.

It happens at lunch. Eddie jumps up on his lunch table, boots thudding loudly against its metal surface, drawing all eyes in the room toward him. Everyone looks away, familiar with his tabletop rants by now, but Steve can’t look away.

Eddie’s magnetic when he’s like this, a black hole swirling everything up in its path. Steve doesn’t want to miss a thing, barely blinks as Eddie begins the familiar walk across the Hellfire table.

“Forced conformity, folks—it’s what’s killing the kids!” he cries, clapping fast to punctuate the sentence. Across Steve’s own table, Tommy boos, gaining momentum when the people around him laugh and join in. “Oh, don’t act so high and mighty, Hagan, you’re the worst of all.”

He’s grinning, but it’s not the dimpled one. He’s just baring his teeth, a predator scenting blood. “You’re all so focused on shooting balls in laundry baskets, like that’s all there is, but guess what? You’re going to be a washed-up has-been before you’re even out of this school.”

He takes a few steps forward, eyes straying from Tommy farther up the table, making it clear he’s talking to all of them. “You don’t realize that daddy’s money’s gonna dry up, and you’ll be left with a wife and three kids you don’t even like, reliving the old glory days like they were even worth remembering.”

“Come say that to my face, Munson!” Tommy cries, standing up from the table as the rest of them egg him on.

Eddie makes a little rock and roll symbol and smirks, like that’s exactly what he wanted Tommy to say. “And you know what? That’s all you’ll deserve for the shit you’ve pulled. A sad lonely life with your sad flaccid dick.”

And suddenly, he’s looking right at Steve, gaze piercing straight through Steve and into his soft, squishy underbelly. There’s blood in the water, and by Eddie’s laugh, he can taste it. “You’ve earned it,” he says, not even blinking, his eyes so intense Steve can’t breath with it. “After all, once a jock, always a jock.”

Chrissy links their fingers and squeezes his hand beneath the table. Steve blinks, spell broken as he squeezes her back in thanks. He looks down at his remaining chicken nuggets, appetite gone.

“You okay?” Chrissy asks, barely audible with all the continued heckling.

Steve glances up just in time to watch Eddie jump down from the table and plop his ass down like none of it happened at all. He’s laughing as Jeff and Gareth pat his back, but he looks deflated, like the whole spectacle took everything out of him.

“I will be,” Steve replies, pushing his lunch tray away.

If nothing else, he has something to write now.

*** 

Eddie can’t get the look on Harrington’s face out of his mind. He’d been at the top of his game, riling the jocks up enough that Hagan had jumped up like a jack-in-the-box. But, then he’d looked at Harrington, and it’d all gone wrong.

The guy was drooping into himself, mouth down-turned, eyes like a kicked puppy. Eddie stuttered, got caught up in him, something unnameable stuck in his throat. Eddies doesn’t even know what he’d said after that, couldn’t hear himself think much less speak, until Harrington finally looked down at the tabletop and their eye contact broke. 

Now he’s stumbling over his words, trying not to even look Harrington’s way as he finishes off his speech. It lacks the usual oomph, but Eddie doesn’t care; he just wants the whole thing to end.

Eddie stumbles down into his chair, shuddering through his smile as Gareth and Doug elbow him in the side, ribbing him good-naturedly. He chokes out a laugh, and doesn’t look at the jock’s table for the rest of lunch.

The next time he sees Harrington, there’s another complication to contend with in the form of Robin Buckley, best known for her proficiency on the trumpet and quirky outfits. And now? She’s best known for attaching herself like a barnacle to Harrington’s side.

Except, if she was a barnacle, Harrington might at least try to shake her off. But, no. He just smiles at her, and whispers with her, as she inserts herself between Chrissy and Harrington like she belongs there.

Chrissy, for her part, seems to like the girl as well.

Eddie doesn’t get it, can’t comprehend what the hell’s happening, and it makes something squirmy and viscous sink into his stomach every time Buckley inserts herself between the pair, every time they smile at her.

But, they still stop to talk to him in between classes, so Eddie tries to drop it.

“It just doesn’t make sense!” Eddie cries, phone clutched to his ear, not even letting Gareth get a word out before he’s continuing the conversation Jeff had rudely interrupted by showing up to lunch. “What the hell is Harrington’s deal?”

“Dude, you’re like, obsessed,” Gareth replies, clearly talking around a mouthful of whatever after-school snack he’d chosen this time.

“Is he trying to date every girl in school at the same time?” he whines, yanking on his hair hard enough that his scalp tingles.

“You’re just jealous,” he replies, and that same squirmy feeling makes Eddie wriggle his whole body, like there’s a chill in the air.

Is the heater on the fritz again?

“Of who?” Eddie screeches before quieting down, peeking into the living room to make sure Uncle Wayne hasn’t stirred. He hasn’t, but Eddie still keeps his voice lowered as he continues hissing into the receiver. “Of Harrington? Don’t be absurd.”

Gareth laughs, “I don’t know, man, but this whole thing is just getting weird.”

“I know, right? What are they up to?” Eddie asks, ignoring Gareth’s muttered “not what I meant,” like he hadn’t said anything at all.

He never figures it out because Buckley never comes around—not to band practice, or Hellfire, or any of the other times Chrissy and Eddie (and Harrington) are in the same place. Eddie should be relieved. He’s not.

Everything is spiraling out of his control.

But, the letters keep coming, and Eddie keeps devouring them

  Eddie —

  I really liked your tabletop speech this week, even though you made fun of the jocks. Some of them definitely deserve it. Do you hate all of them, or just the bullies?

  You laughed, but it wasn’t your real laugh like when Mr. Danver accidentally said ‘orgasm’ instead of ‘organism’. I love your laugh, I thought about it all day. Kind of like when your favorite song gets stuck in your head.

  I know I’ve said it before, but I do really like you. But, if you knew me, I don’t think you’d like me. It’s okay, though. I’m stupid like that—always putting my whole heart into people who don’t feel the same.

  I’m sorry, this is probably not the letter you hoped to get. I’ll be better next time, promise.

  Yours,

  Your Secret Admirer

  P.S. Put your response in the World Atlas, the long one that they have to put sideways on the bookshelf (because no matter where you are, I’ll always think of you).

They all make something flutter within him like his lungs are growing wings and flapping themselves out of his body entirely. Even as it leaves him breathless and aching, he wants more of it, longs for it.

It’s just—she sounds so sad, lately, like she’s losing hope in this at all.

All Eddie wants to do is reassure her. So, he keeps writing back, pulling his heart off his sleeve and flinging it down on the page for Chrissy to read, hoping he’ll somehow see those same feelings reflected in her eyes.

He never does.

So, he pokes; he wheedles; he pines for a girl on a page that never quite stands before him. And he pours it all onto the page.

  Secret Admirer,

  I don’t think it’s all jocks—you’re too nice for that. But even you have to admit that a lot of the jocks are only doing it to be at the top of the food chain. Guys like Carver and Harrington Hagaon? They don’t even care about sports, they just want peons to fawn over them. But, there’s people like you, too, so maybe more of them are better than I expect.

  I can’t imagine knowing who you are and not liking you. You’re the nicest girl I know. You don’t have to tell me who you are, but if you do? I promise, it’ll all be okay.

  Yours, always,

  Eddie

  P.S. You don’t have to “be better,” baby. I just want you to be you. That will always be enough for a guy like me.

It’s not enough—something is breaking open in him that words on the page can’t quite mend.

“I’m going to ask her out,” Eddie says once Harrington and Chrissy have left the latest Hellfire session, still inexplicably coming despite never playing.

Jeff chokes on his sip of soda, coughing harshly enough that some of it comes out of his mouth and splatters onto the table.

“Gross, dude,” Doug says, but still pats his back like he’s burping a baby.

“Are you serious?” Gareth asks, tone disbelieving.

Eddie makes crazy eyes at him, trying to psychically beam all his thoughts into Gareth’s head like, yes I’m serious, and, you know about the notes, why are you looking at me like that, and, what the hell else am I supposed to do to crack this mystery wide open?

“That is such a bad idea,” Jeff cuts in once he’s got his coughing under wraps.

Eddie whips towards him, scowling at his best friend as he replies, “you’re just jealous.”

Jeff sighs, heaves himself out of his chair, says a quick, “whatever, dude,” and walks out of the room without a backward glance.

“Aren’t you his ride?” Doug asks.

Eddie flaps his hand in dismissal and replies, “forget about him,” despite his gut sinking down into his boots at Jeff’s words.

“Well, how are you going to do it?” Gareth asks, the only one of his friends to seem even remotely excited.

Eddie keeps flapping his hand and replies, “never you mind.”

That even gets Gareth to scoff, knowing Eddie well enough to know that means he’s got nothing.

But there’s a thought niggling away at his brain: why not finish this thing the same way it had begun?

On his way out the door, he drops his latest letter to Chrissy into the trash bin and doesn’t look back. He’s got a new letter to write.

*** 

“You know this is juvenile, right?” Jeff asks.

Chrissy pulls the world atlas off the shelf with a roll of her eyes.

Her and Steve had fought about him picking up the letters alone, and Chrissy had won the way she always does when it comes to matters of his safety. He’s sulking in the parking lot now, waiting for her to retrieve it for him.

But, there’s no letter behind the cover. She flips through the whole book, then shakes it, pages flapping wildly, to see if anything falls out. Nothing does. No note, at least not yet.

Steve will be disappointed.

“They’re boys, of course it’s juvenile,” Chrissy says, turning away from the shelf to make pointed eye contact.

If boys are stupid, Jeff is the stupidest of them all. She thinks she can see a tinge of red to his dark cheeks that makes her smile. Chrissy turns away to pick up her book bag where she’d left it on the closet table.

“There’s no letter?” Jeff asks, sounding surprised.

Chrissy sighs, responding, “not yet. I’ll have to check back tomorrow.”

Steve will be crushed. He’s been weird about the letters since he’d begun writing the first drafts alone. Even with the minor polishing Chrissy puts on them after, they’re Steve’s words and feelings, no matter what Eddie thinks. And it shows in the way he takes them home and pours over them for days before slinking back to her with the original letter and his response, cheeks rosy as she fixes his spelling errors.

“Eddie’s planning on asking you out, you know,” Jeff says.

There’s a clatter behind one of the shelves, but Chrissy barely notices. “He said that?” she asks, turning sharply toward him, hand still clutching her book bag. 

Jeff nods, lips pursed. God, what are they going to do? This whole thing has spiraled so far out of either of their control. Chrissy had known when she offered that there was a chance Eddie would catch on—that he’d see her leaving a note, or catch her picking one up.

Better her than Steve, she’d thought then. No matter the awkward situation she’s found herself in, she still thinks that, even more so now. Better her than Steve. Steve, who’s proven himself kinder than she ever imagined, who would be run out of town, her ex-boyfriend at the head of the mob.

Chrissy can hear someone shuffling out of sight, feet shuffling on carpet far too close for comfort, so she steps closer to Jeff and lowers her voice. 

“Do you know when?” Chrissy asks, anxiety leaching into her. She needs to talk to Steve. Flirting with Eddie is one thing, but going on a date with him? Going out with him? That’s a whole other monster.

And then, of course, there’s Jeff.

“No, he hasn’t told me anything,” he replies, something small and hurt in his voice.

Chrissy’s never had a best friend, but Steve’s given her a little taste of it, and she’d be hurt if he didn’t tell her something like this.

“He’s probably embarrassed,” Chrissy says, aching to reach out and touch, but they’re in public, and Jason could be lurking behind any corner; the last thing she wants is to put a target on another person she cares about’s back. “You’re still his best friend.”

“Yeah, maybe,” he sighs, but when she bumps their shoulders together gently, his lips quirk up.

He smiles over at her, bumping their shoulders together himself as he asks, “drive me home?” as if it isn’t a foregone conclusion. “And stay for dinner?”

That gives her pause. She can feel her cheeks flushing. Despite taking the next step in their relationship, Jeff’s never invited her in, not where his parents and brother are. They haven’t even really discussed what they are, not with this whole secret admirer thing hanging over their heads like the Sword of Damocles.

But she wants to. She wants to hold his hand in the halls, go to his house for study dates and dinner, kiss him somewhere where they don’t have to be furtive.

It’s all stolen moments with Jeff, kisses and conversations made in haste when all she wants to do is linger. So, she says, “yes, please,” and bounces out into the parking lot.

Steve isn’t there, and neither is his car.

“Maybe he went home?” Jeff asks, but he looks just as unsure as she feels.

“We’ll call him when we get to your house,” she asserts. She’s relieved when all he does is nod and follow her to her car. 

She’s got a best friend to find.

*** 

Robin knows something’s gone wrong as soon as she sees that dangerous gleam in Carver’s eyes. She knows whatever it is, it’s about to go catastrophically wrong when she follows his line of sight to where Eddie stands chatting away with one of his friends.

Still, she stands frozen, watching in breathless horror as Eddie waves goodbye to his friend, that familiar happy grin on his face as he slides into the driver’s seat of his van. Heavy music blares from the rolled-down window as his van sputters to noisy life.

When she turns back to get her eyes on Carver, he’s gone. She spots him only as Eddie peels out of the parking lot, Carver’s douchey car hot on his heels.

Robin turns and runs back into the school. She’d spotted another douchey car still loitering in the parking lot; Steve’s in here somewhere.

She checks the library first, knows from previous confessions that it’s where he and Chrissy work on most of the secret admirer notes. It’s deserted aside from a scattering of freshmen in one corner, and Nancy Wheeler arguing with the librarian about a text the library doesn’t seem to have.

She finds herself in the gym next, unsure if any sports are currently in season, but nice guy or not, Steve’s got jock sensibilities. He likes the gym. There’s a singular kid shooting baskets, but based on the rack of balls off to the side, there might have been more.

She goes to the boy’s locker room without thinking, pushing the swinging door open with sweaty palms and shaking arms.

Inside, she finds boys, all blessedly dressed.

“Ohhh!” they call juvenilely as she stands there, shocked as four pairs of eyes lock on her.

“Girl in the locker room!” someone calls; she’s pretty sure that’s Tommy Hagan’s smug voice, but she barely notices, too caught up in trying to find her boy in the mess of bodies.

“Steve,” Robin strangles out.

Her skin feels tacky with panic sweat, and in the past five minutes of searching, she’s run her fingers through her own hair enough times to leave it sticking on end. She’s sure she looks more like a troll doll than an enticing member of the opposite sex.

“He already left,” a guy she doesn’t recognize responds, eying her up and down. “But I’d be more than happy to help you out.”

As if his meaning wasn’t already clear, he bites his lip and swipes his lip like he’s wiping up drool as all the other boys start “ooooh”ing in unison again. Is that something they’re taught in elementary, or something?

She doesn’t wait for them to continue, just turns and runs out of the locker room, panic nipping at her heels.

She runs back out to the parking lot, out of places to check and desperate to not miss Steve leaving.

That’s where she finds him, leaning casually against his car like Eddie’s life isn’t at stake.

She runs so fast, limbs uncoordinated and breaths coming rapid, that she doesn’t stop in time and hit’s Steve straight in the chest. 

She bounces off, almost falling to the pavement until he grabs her shoulders and steadies her. Steve’s hands feel big on her shoulders, the pressure of his palms pushing her soul back into her body as she takes big, deep gulps.

“What’s wrong, Bobby?” he asks, already looking at her like she’s a wet puppy he’s ready to scoop into his arms and dry off with the shirt on his own back.

There’s too many witnesses, and too many damning words to be said, so all she whispers is, “you need to go, Steve.”

He wrinkles his nose, but something of the gravity of her words must sink in because he leans in without hesitation and meets her pitch as he asks, “where?”

Robin steps even closer, damn-near standing on Steve’s toes as she begins her stilted explanation.

“Jason Carver followed Eddie’s van in his car,” Robin starts, words blurring into each other in her haste to get them out. “I don’t know what he’s planning, but—“

She doesn’t get to finish; Steve bolts to the driver's side door and flings himself into his car without sparing her a second thought.  She can’t blame him.

Robin only hopes he makes it in time.

PART 12

[adoresmiles]

His Concealed Obsession

Chapter one.

"I just don't get how you two still have a job when you're both always at my place."

"We just came by to check in on you since the news about your neighbor broke out in the news this morning."

"Oh yeah , I saw it on the news. I feel so bad for her kids. She was always spoke to me whenever we come would come across each other . Invited me over to dinner , go out for lunch and hell she even invited me to spa dates with her and her daughter."

"You talking about Nicole?"

"Yea Jax , the same Nicole you slept with before you married your wife."

"Jaxon Tyree!"

"It was an accident Nani and I don't even know why KP brought it up."

"I hope and pray that my nephew doesn't turn out like you as he gets older."

"With all the amazing women in his life , he's going to come out a thousand times better than me."

"Anyways you need to be careful Kanani, your neighbor who was a well known attorney was murder inside of her."

"Maybe you should come and stay with one of until KP and them get everything done. Cause I be damn if my baby sister gets murdered next."

"I understand you are worried about my safety but if mom and dad haven't said anything about it yet to me then you guys shouldn't either. I'm safe here and I have an alarm system and cameras inside of my apartment."

"Now you know damn well them cameras and alarm systems ain't going to save your short ass."

"You need a guard dog and damn gun. I keep telling you to go ahead and get a gun and take classes on how to use it properly."

"Nope , I refuse to get a gun. You know how I feel about them ever since that damn party."

"Kanani you're killing us right now right now."

"I know and I'm sorry. Look how many who have guns out here and they don't even use it properly?! You have kids going to school shooting their teachers , grown ass adults who went to school coming back for revenge, young black men taking each other out."

"Hate to say this, but it's this shit happens everyday and everywhere Nani."

"Yes but also if we stop giving the wrong people guns and do a fucking throughly background check then it wouldn't be problem. Lock your guns away from your children. It's more  gun violence out there than love and I just refuse to be apart of it."

Kanani stated to her two older brothers as she walked around her kitchen counter to get herself a glass of juice.

"Think about it from our perspective. What if you were in that situation? Would you have fought back ? Call the police ?"

"Calling the police and locking them inside the closet. The closet doors lock from the outside and plus in order to even get inside you need my finger print and the code to get inside the door."

"Not saying I'm on her side here but trying to break down these doors are heavy as hell."

"It sounds like to me you're on little KP side right now. I don't suppose to say this but this per- hold on ... hello? Wassup uncle Mike?"

"While detective KP over there chatting away. Let's talk about where you are going to be staying."

"I'm not leaving my house because of some killer is on the loose. If I feel like I am in great danger then I'll show up on either yours or KP door step."

"You're going to give me gray hairs before Jordan even turns eighteen."

"That sounds like a personal problem Jaxon. Why are you trying to control something that you're not able to control yourself?"

"Because you're my baby sister Nani. If anything were to hap- if someone were to hurt you , I'll gladly sit behind bars for killing them. That goes for KP too! I'm yall older brother and it's my job to make sure that you both are good at all times. Yeah KP a detective and all but that don't matter to me."

"Jaxon I appreciate you and I know you're concerned about my safety but you have to trust me. If I feel as if my life is in jeopardy then you'll be the first one to know. Plea-"

"Aye Jax we got to go , uncle Mike and uncle Marcus need some help with this case. I can drop you off back the fire station or you good?"

"I'm good , Nani can drop me off back at the station."

"Nope , sorry can't do it. I have to go get ready before my friend comes over for our lunch date."

"Damn it's like that?"

"Sure is , now can you guys go so I can go get ready? I need at least two hours to mentally prepare myself."

"We didn't even finish our conversation."

"I'm staying home and that's final. Please don't forget that one of you has to pick up mom and dad from the airport tomorrow afternoon."

"Well I can't do it since this is my weekend it work."

"Why can't you do it?"

"Because I'm the one who dropped them off and plus I have back to back meetings for my store grand opening."

"Oh yeah I forgot , yeah I'll pick them up tomorrow then. I'll have Jordan tag along with me to keep me entertained on the way there."

"Aight now, we out! Be safe and don't be out here grown. We locking the door behind us since yo ass wants to walk away without giving hugs and shit."

"And share your location too, love you big head!"

"Love you too, now bye!"

Kanani expressed to them both as she walked down her hallway that lead into her bedroom. She loved her brother's but after dealing with them for long , she needed a mental reset. Their conversation regarding the circumstances of her neighbor was not necessarily needed. Yes , the situation is sad but it doesn't involve her. She could see if she was there and witnessed it but she wasn't.

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a knock on her door. A look of confusion displayed on her face as she looked down the hallway of her home. Kanani wasn't expecting anyone until the next couple of hours. So she was confused on who or what could it possibly be . Dropping her unfolded blanket onto the ground , she decided to go and see who it could be.

"This better not be one of these neighbors kids knocking on my dam- oh hey David, what brings you by?

"These are for you señorita Kanani."

"My favorite flowers, they're so beautiful. Do you know who sent them in?"

"Frangipani plumeria. I unfortunately don't but they did leave a note for you. I have to get going , the other set of flowers are placed on your table."

"Thank you David!"

"Anything for you señorita Kanani. It seems like you have a keeper in your hands."

"That it does , hopefully this note tells me who it is."

"Have a good day."

"....hmmm who the hell sent me two sets of frangipani flowers. Dile si al cielo dime si a mi. Well that is cute of them to put my favorite song on there. Seems like this person really paid attention to me."

Kanani smiled once again as she smelled the freshly picked flowers. Frangipani flowers were simply her favorite since they reminded her of Hawai'i , where she was originally born. Now cheesing ear to ear Kanani quickly arranged the flowers to her liking before rushing off to prepare for her day.

"Today is going to be a really good ass day for me."

Translation

"dile si al cielo dime si a mi" : say yes to heaven say yes to me

[bless-my-demons]

Redamancy: Chapter Four

Jasper Hale x Reader

Series summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?

Warnings: Almost-car accident? Talk of getting smushed by a car.

Notes: Finally, a little something-something! I’m trying to post on the weekends to have some sort of schedule, but I have zero impulse control… so here it is a day early!

Word Count: 2146

Series Masterlist

• January 25th, 2005 • Forks High School •

Jasper

Not only am I lucky enough to spend lunch with Y/n, but some godly force must be watching out for me in that today’s history assignment allowed me to team up with her and learn more about her.

Her energy is absolutely fascinating and it almost worries me that I’m internally compelled to want to spend even more time in her presence. Two days and I’m already a goner, Emmett is going to have a field day interrogating me tonight.

Which leads me to now, after completing our history assignment with only a few minutes to spare, I’m escorting her to her car in an effort to prolong this addiction to her attention.

“Where are you from?” I ask, curious to know anything about her.

“Texas. Well, Dallas more specifically.” She’s still watching the ground as we walk, nervousness pouring from her.

“Why Forks? You couldn’t of picked a more completely opposite environment.” I miss my home state, and if it weren’t for my adversion to the sun - I would return.

“My parents divorced.” She continues before I could apologize for the intrusive question, “Happily divorced and I protested the whole ‘stay together until she graduates’ bullshit.” Fingers gesturing around the air quotations.

She trails off after that, circling back to our history assignment that no doubt has her still worked up. The Civil War, I cringe internally at today's topic since it’s a sore one for myself - having lived through it and fought in it.

“All I’m saying is, maybe history class should be more focused on the lessons learned, than just the events themselves.” She states rather passionately while inserting the key into the lock on the driver’s door of her car.

“To recognize and avoid in the future.” I respond, leaning my back against the rear of the small vehicle as I scan the wet parking lot packed with kids.

“Exactly!” She pops her head up, an excited smile in place as she garners my gaze again.

But just over her shoulder my eyes flick up to catch the sight of a blue van headed our direction a little too quickly for such a busy spot. A car horn blaring has her turning in its direction and the gasp I hear across the parking lot from Alice sends me into action. I grab Y/n by the waist and spin her against her car, so that my back might take the brunt of the hit, but it never comes as the rear of the van just barely slides past us. I relax the grip I have on her and tear my eyes from hers as I spin my head in the direction of the vehicle, ready to yell at the driver for being so reckless. The words die in my throat as I see where it’s headed - straight for Isabella Swan.

“Bella!” Y/n screams, but it’s lost in the screech of tires and the headphones in her ears that are keeping the outside world out.

Just as I’m about to damn us all to save another girl from this idiot driver, Edward flashes past to stop the van from crushing the Sheriff’s daughter.

“Fuck.” I whisper, glancing back to where my other adopted siblings are standing next to their own vehicles - faces unreadable, but emotions blaring alarm.

“I’m sorry, I have to go. Please be safe getting home?” I ask her urgently as I peel my fingers from where they want to stay gripping her, safe and close to me.

“But Jas-“ she starts, a little shell shocked at my quick action of saving her and the close call with her friend.

A whistle from Emmett interrupts her before she can interrogate me, so I flash her an apologetic smile before jogging at a normal human pace to the familiar silver Jeep. My hands flex in my lap the entire tense ride home, warm and tingly from when I gripped Y/n to protect her fragile little human body.

If we weren’t vampires already, this family meeting about to take place would definitely give Carlisle a full head of gray hair.

• January 26th, 2005 • Forks High School •

Reader

“Hey, mind catching me up on what that was yesterday?” I immediately bombard Jasper as I sit across from him at what I’ve mentally deemed ‘our table’ at lunch.

He glances up from his sketchbook with a look that says he wasn’t prepared for my blunt line of questioning.

“The saving you from certain death part, or?” He leaves open ended for me to clarify.

“The part where Bella was alone next to her truck, but your brother teleported to her side AND somehow the van skidded to a stop right before turning them both into pancakes?” I’m not pulling my punches with my queries, after having spent last night stewing over what I had seen.

“He wasn’t that far from her when I moved you out of the way, I must’ve distracted you enough that you didn’t see him walking to her after he got out of class. Plus, the van wasn’t going that fast, maybe when it hit the back of her truck the tires got traction and he could brake properly.” He answers, turning his gaze back to his sketch and resuming his work.

I don’t really buy it, but I mull over my recount of yesterday afternoon as I pull my lunch from my bag. Was I so focused on Jasper the moment he put his hands on me? Was I so soda-strawed in on Bella being in the way of the van that I missed Edward?

No, something isn’t adding up. I know that van was hauling ass in the parking lot, I was going to yell as much at the idiot driving before I saw it headed for Bella. But I can also tell I won’t be getting the answers I want from Jasper. I can tell from the rigidity of his spine that he’s worried I’ll ask more questions. I mean, his recount of the accident isn’t out-landish, but I know what I saw!

I need to talk to Bella.

“Yeah I guess that makes sense.” I acquiesce. I see him deflate a little with relief as I pick at my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “Thank you for saving me, by the way.” I add nervously, a little heat working it’s way onto my cheeks.

Jasper glances up to my face and with a small smile, “Anytime Y/l/n, anytime.”

• January 27th, 2005 • Forks High School •

Reader

“Bella!” I yell down the hallway, catching her as she slams her locker shut. I jog over to her as she turns towards the exit, everyone that has Mr. Banner for Biology is going on a field trip today.

“Hey Y/n, what’s up?” She questions, seeing the look on my face.

“Tuesday, parking lot, what the hell happened?” I jump right into it.

“Tyler must’ve lost traction-“

“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it. Edward was nowhere near you.” Cutting off her redirection. “Jasper won’t budge, he insists I was distracted and didn’t see his brother before the accident.”

Bella glances around the hallway and decides to pull me into the empty female bathroom for some privacy.

“Edward is avoiding me, I was asking him the same questions when I was at the hospital and he refused to answer.” She answers nervously.

“It’s weird, right? I mean, one second I’m unlocking the door to my car, and the next Jasper spins me around to protect my body with his. And then I see Edward jump over the tailgate of your truck when I thought Tyler’s van was going to end you.” I’m just rambling the thoughts that have been pinging around the last two days.

I can see her hesitate, “You can talk to me, you know? I kinda don’t have any friends besides you, I mean - if you want to be friends?” I tack on the last part, worried I’d over stepped.

“Yeah no, of course - I um, I could use a friend to vent to.” Bella glances down at her shoes, picking at the sleeves of her sweater as the both of us exit the bathroom. “He’s coming on today’s class trip, I’ll talk to him then and see what I can find out.”

“Perfect, want to sit with me on the bus?” I ask, walking out of the building for the student parking lot where the buses are waiting.

“As if I’d risk getting stuck sitting with Mike Newton, absolutely.” She jokes back. “I’m going to grab my book from my truck, I’ll be there in a sec - save us a seat!” She yells as she jogs to her vehicle across the parking lot.

As I board the first bus I can hear Mr Banner yell at everyone loitering in the parking lot, “Yo yo yo, hey guys c’mon! We gotta go, we gotta go! Green is what? Good, let’s go!”

A few moments later Bella joins me in our claimed seat, book in hand looking a little frazzled. I see Mike pass us with a forlorn expression on his face, “Oh God, what happened?” I ask.

“He asked me to prom and I told him to ask Jessica, please don’t make me talk about it.” She answers with what I assume is a shiver of discomfort.

I want to laugh, but I just grin instead. “Your not-so-secret admirer fumble is safe with me, Bells.” I knock my shoulder into hers to tease her a little as I crack open my own book I brought for the bus ride.

• Community College Greenhouse •

Reader

Walking alone in line through the greenhouse, my hands drift over the different sprouting vegetables. Behind me I can hear Mr. Banner giving a spiel on “compost tea” and how its derived from table scraps and other organic waste. Every now and then my fingers float over the soft petals of flowers placed sporadically through the hundreds of food-producing plants; earlier it was explained that they encourage pollinators to visit.

Even though I’m a smidge lonely since Bella is hanging back with Edward, I’m glad to be surrounded by greenery instead of stuck in a stuffy classroom.

Just as Tyler Crowley pushes past with a clear mug of what looks like poop/dirt water, I spot Alice just ahead standing to the side of the isle with Jasper to allow students to flow by. When I get within arms reach, Alice loops her elbow through mine, almost like she could sense my loneliness.

“So,” she drags out the word cheerfully, “Enjoying the plants? Fresh air? Freedom from school?”

“Oh absolutely,” I glance over my shoulder at Jasper following behind us silently. “I’m surprised you’re not off in a corner doodling flowers, Hale.” I catch him duck his head and chuckle under his breath as Alice watches our interaction, surprised.

“And isolate myself away from your commentary? Never, Y/l/n.”

“Oh, Emmett’s opinions on your drawings are too much, but mine aren’t?” I smile as I turn to look at new plants as we pass them in our slow walk through the final greenhouse.

“My brother isn’t nearly as interesting.” His response catches me off guard and if it weren’t for Alice’s grip on my arm I would’ve stumbled on the wet concrete.

“As I live and breathe, Jasper Hale flirting-“ but Alice doesn’t finish her sentence due to Jasper snaking out a pinch to her ribs, her flinch forcing our hold to separate. Before I could chide Alice for teasing her brother for just being nice, Edward storms up to the three of us.

“Ready to leave?” He glances between his siblings, pointedly ignoring me so that I wouldn’t feel the obligation to join them.

“Edward-“ Alice says disapprovingly, but he pushes past us without waiting for an answer. She looks at me apologetically before skipping after him.

“Sorry about my brother, he’s insufferable when he’s in a mood.” Jasper offers as explanation as we watch the two of them exit the greenhouse.

“I get the feeling he’s always in a ‘mood’.” My fingers emphasize the last word with air quotations and it draws another chuckle from the gorgeous boy at my side.

“Touché.” He says with a grin. “I better catch up before they ditch me, see ya around darlin’.” He weaves his way through the crowded isle and out of sight before the heat settles in my cheeks.

I manage to file outside and towards the buses with the rest of my class after I gather my wits. I spot Bella already in our shared bus seat with a sad expression. “Wanna talk about it?” I ask as I sit.

“Not right now.” She answers, turning to look out of the window.

Next

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for pretending to be sick in order to skip school even though I'm making my parents worried?

(I'm submitting this on a Monday. fuck Mondays btw.)

I (15M) am the only child of both of my parents (42F, 44M) and even though I love them and they love me, I feel like they don't really get me. since I was like 12 or so I started getting bullied by my classmates bc, essentially, I have "childish" interests (I like Adventure Time and video-games. my classmates need to realize we're technically still kids, but nooo they're not teenagers they're "Young Adults" and "Too Cool" to like anything remotely childish) and whenever I've tried to tell my parents that I'm experiencing bullying, they somehow end up thinking that I just don't want to go to school bc I'm lazy. I know being a parent is probably not easy but. what the fuck.

from my own experience I've noticed male and female bullies use different methods - guys hit me and use brute force against me while girls say hurtful things to me. one of the guys who bullies me, let's call him DH which stands for Dickhead (15M), is also extremely popular for some reason. he's very tall, very strong and he always uses that against me (I'm almost as tall as DH but I'm just lanky). he bullies anyone who is "beneath him" lol everybody bow down to the king of the fucking world.

today DH was making a scene at recess bc his girlfriend (15F) was wearing a skirt that was too short according to him. he was so mad at her that people were starting to form a circle around them. since DH is so popular people really respect his gf but they clearly respect him more bc today no one tried to help her. I don't respect DH, because he's a dickhead, so I stepped in and said something like "c'mon man what the hell, there's no need to humiliate your girlfriend like this, leave her alone". DH was pissed. he heatedly said that just because no girl will ever want to date me, that doesn't give me the right to tell other guys how to handle their relationships and their girlfriends. he got rlly mad and clearly he wanted to hit me so I ran like hell and proceeded to hide from him for the rest of recess. I felt like a little bitch tbh. DH always makes me feel like a little bitch.

before classes started again his gf found me and talked to me for like 5 minutes. she said I don't know DH like she does and that he's actually a really good boyfriend (HA, sure) and that I would be more liked and popular if I wanted to be, but it's "not normal" that I watch Adventure Time at 15. she also told me that DH intends to beat the shit out of me tomorrow. he said he'll "kill me" and ngl he has the physical strength to do so. this made me shit my fucking pants so today as soon as I got home I decided to pretend I was sick since I can be pretty good at acting. I told my parents I had a headache, I started fake-coughing, I said I felt really tired. I even managed to look pale on purpose by thinking of how fucking scared I was of DH and what he might do to me, and I raised the temperature of the thermometer by rubbing it against the fabric of my sweatshirt.

apparently I was so convincing that my parents agreed to let me skip class tomorrow and they even said I can skip it for the rest of the week if I don't improve (tbh I think I won't "improve" if you know what I mean) and I could see they were worried. this is the reason why I feel like an asshole. at the end of the day I'm making my parents worried, I'm lying about my health and I feel kinda guilty. but I'm too scared, and if I tell them the truth they'll just tell me to "man up" or they'll think once again that I'm just too lazy to want to attend school.

anyway. Adventure Time rocks 🤘🏻

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Nimona headcanons about everything under the sun

I feel like Bal doesn’t try and make a big deal out of his birthday 

It’s not like he didn’t know his birthday he just never had someone to celebrate with so his birthdays always came and went without him saying anything 

One time early on in their friendship he let the day slip and Ambrosius made a big deal about missing it 

Bal tried to tell him it wasn’t a big deal and he didn’t have to worry about it and because of that Ambrosius pinky swore that Bal’s birthdays would always be celebrated however he wanted 

And he kept that promise 

Every single year Ambrosius would help Bal celebrate however he wanted even if it was as simple as pizza and ice cream cake  

Nimona never knew her birthday 

And this was a fact that both the boys didn’t know until Ambrosius asked 

Bal asked her what day she wanted her birthday to be and she asked “Does it have to be the same day every year” 

Ambrosius said not if she doesn’t want it to be 

So every year she’ll give them like a week-long heads up saying “Hey I want my birthday to be this day” and they’ll plan and celebrate accordingly 

A lot of people try and tell them it doesn’t make sense to which they respond “Who cares” 

Ambrosius has a very complicated relationship with his birthday 

His parents always planned these massive galas with every single noble under the sun

They always looked amazing the people were dressed to the nines and the building was filled with gourmet food

And he fucking hated them

Because these parties are more like business meetings than actual celebrations 

He only started tolerating those parties when his parents let him invite Bal

Once the wall falls and he cuts contact with a lot of his family including his parents his birthdays are a tricky subject 

Most of the time he doesn’t even want to celebrate at all and he’ll say as such

The first time he said this they tried to make a big deal about it but he insisted that they treat it like any other day

And they didn’t want to push him they did however pick up his favorite dinner and dessert 

He tried to argue that he didn’t want to celebrate his birthday and all Nimona said was “Wow someone’s a narcissist I was just craving pho and tiramisu on this completely mundane day” he tried to argue that she doesn’t even like tiramisu 

To which Nimona replied “You don't know everything about me now eat your food on this completely mundane day” 

And he smiled and ate his favorite food with his favorite people on that completely mundane day

After a couple of years he would ask to do something small for his birthday and they would always enthusiastically agree even if it was just getting dinner at some hole-in-the-wall restaurant 

Both Nimona and Bal have a really good sense of direction 

Drop them at any point in the city and they’ll find their way around easily 

Ambrosius could get lost in a cardboard box

Bal used to have to walk him to his classes because if he didn’t Ambrosius would be late to every single one

This was a super big problem before Bal joined

There were multiple false alarms because people thought he had been kidnapped or killed and he was just sitting in a hallway waiting for someone to find him 

Bal always found him when he did get lost tho

He can always find him with scary accuracy and when people asked how he would jokingly reply that he got him chipped 

In reality he just knows Ambrosius way too well and knows exactly how his brain works 

Even after the wall fell Ambrosius was terrible at telling fans no

He would still stop and talk to them and sign autographs for their kids

Nimona would often joke that he’s a pushover and he would agree

He realized that it would take Ambrosius a while to break from the rigorous training his family put him through 

In the meantime he came up with a plan that the boys surprisingly agreed to

And that plan was to fake every medical emergency under the sun

Sometimes Ambrosius will send them a look which means that he wants to leave and that’s when Bal and Nimona get to put their excellent acting skills to good use 

One time Bal pretended like his arm was malfunctioning and they needed to leave immediately 

Another time Nimona pretended to be throwing up in a trash can to get civilians to leave as soon as possible (she can’t get sick)

And even Ambrosius got to fake a little medical emergency by pretending to have an allergic reaction 

A kind civilian offered to drive him to the hospital Nimona was already in his dragon form flying them away

No one in the kingdom has caught on and they’d like it to stay that way

[fandomtherapy44]

Solider Boy x reader

Summary: The year just turning into 1982 Vaught's Payback being the most talked Superhero group especially Vaught's Golden boy. The elusive handsome player Solider boy. Y/n has always wanted to help people with her powers so when Payback starts interviewing, she has to go. Her whole life is about get shaken up not just by how she thought superheroes were supposed to be but by an arrogant self-absorbed but handsome asshole.

Paring: Solider boy x reader/Enemies to lovers

word count: 1,338

Chapters: 1/?

WARININGS: oh, shit here we go again. Major language, Cancer patient, being mean to Y/n.

I got the divder from

saradika

AN/ Hey everyone so I've been thinking to make this for a while now. Since I love the Boys so much did, I start watching this show for Jensen maybe did I stay for the others yes. I think Payback is so interesting, so this is like a prequel series. I just love the backstory of Payback I hope we get more in this new season. This first chapter we don't meet Ben, but we will soon ;) Hope you enjoy.

Chapter one: Taking the leap

POV (Y/N)

The year being 1982 I was freshly twenty-eight working at fucking Vought burger I mean I was making money not much but still I just thought I would be somewhere else at this age. I was mopping the floors at one am with the smell of cell killing chemicals and the four-hour crust of kid puke up my nose. The old tv in the corner of the ceiling was a plus though because Vaught central channel would replay old Payback movies. Superheroes were my everything when I was a kid especially when I learned I had the very powers that my hero’s had. But my mom never wanted me to use them. 

“Hey Y/n how’s your mom doing?” My friend slash coworker asked me. “Oh well she has a treatment this week but after that I don’t know how I’m going to cover the cost next time.” “I can maybe scrape some money together.” I put my mop down and turned to her. “No no I couldn't ask you to do that you have your own shit to worry about.” “Ok but if there is anything else I can do I will be there.” I smile at her kindness. “I'm counting on it.” Just two more damn hours and I could go home and sleep for three hours and then go to my next job.

“Hey, did you hear about those auditions downtown?” “What auditions?” I asked, not really paying attention trying to get the puke stain out of the tiled floor. “Really you haven't heard that’s surprising of how much you love superheroes, it's the payback auditions.” I nearly slipped on the puke. “What! Are you serious!?” I ran over to her shaking her. “Yes Y/n yes! Now can you stop shaking me? I think my brain is starting to leak.” “Ha yes sorry it’s just that it has literally been my dream since I've learned I have powers.” “So, are you going to go?” That was the question.

The weather today was cold, and it was raining well more like pouring and my broken umbrella was barely holding together. I walked in and said hello to the nurse. Before I walked in the room, I put on the fake smile that I put on every time. “Hey mom.” I went to her bed. “Sweetpea, I didn’t know you were coming today.” She said in a very southern draw one of the many things I loved about her. “I wanted to surprise, especially today.” I looked to the tube in her arm for her treatment.

“So, how’s college?” Right college. “Well, my professor says that he was most impressed by my last paper.” This was all bullshit but if I told her what I was really doing all day she would discharge herself and go home and let God do the work to heal her. Well sadly I couldn't leave it up to God not where she was with her stage. “Now that's my daughter on her way to be on the top and get her dream job.” Dream job now that was a joke.

“Yeah...” I looked at the time and my other job was calling. “Well mom I have to run to class. Do you need anything before I go.” She grabs my hand and stares in my eyes. “I just want to look at my little girl for a minute.” In that minute my heart was racing. “Now sweetie go kick but!” My mother would never curse. She said that if she did that she might as well drink dirt then sweet lemonade. 

On my way to work my umbrella fully went down. Luckily there was an awning, and I ran under it. I looked out and it seemed the whole world was working against me. My mother, my job, my lack of a love life but that was the last thing on my mind. The weather was like my life exploding all at once. I just didn’t know what to do. But I think the world heard me and a gust of wind threw up a flyer in my face but not just any flyer.

“Hi there, can you please step forward and state your name,age,height,weight,Sup name.” I don’t think I have ever sweat so much in my life. “Uh Y/n L/n,28,’-,___’ and I don’t know ha.” I looked down nervously. “You're auditioning for a superhero team and you don’t have a name?” The woman looked at me in disbelief. “I-” She holds up her hand to stop me. “You know what I don’t have time to hold your fucking hand like in kindergarten just show us your powers.”

I took that in stride and stood back. I breathed in deeply and used my whole body to push forward and a force came out that crumbled all the practice dummies. I also grabbed the air around me and made a blade. Then I made a shield from that same air. I looked back and everyone looked shocked. The woman from before stacked her papers. “Um thank you we will call you.” I bowed and said thank you.

It had been about a month, and I had heard nothing, so I had lost hope. I was once again cleaning a kid's mess. Parents really need to watch their kids. “Y/n phone call!” My coworker called out and I threw down my rag and dusted off my pants and went to the phone. “Hello” “Hello this Vaught.” My eyes widened and I held my hand over the phone to not hear my escaped squeals. “What are you calling about?” I tried to keep my excitement in.

“Well, the people who are behind payback were very impressed with your audition and would like to invite you to be the newest member of payback.” I did not think twice. “YES!” “I mean yes I would love to.” “Great you will be flown out on the first of next month.” Oh, shit I didn't know it would be that quick. She sensed my quiet. “Will that be a problem?” “No of course not thank you.” She hung up. “Who was that?” My coworker asked. “That was the call telling me that I'm going to be the newest member of Payback.” I said realizing that my whole life changed in five minutes.

It was only the tenth, but I had so much shit to do I had to quit my jobs, stop renting and tell my mom which to be honest I was putting that off. “Hey mom.” “Sweetpea if you keep on surprising me, I'm going to have to start getting pretty for you.” “Mom, you are beautiful everyday no matter what.” “Aww you're just saying that.” “Speaking about our visits, they will have to slow down.” She looked disappointed. “Well, I understand for school.” Here I go. “Mom I'm just going to say it…  you're looking at the newest member of Payback.” “Tell me you're joking.” “No mom I’m not.”

“Y/n you can’t it's too dangerous.” “Mom, I swear to you I will train every day be the safest possible.” “No, I won’t allow it.” “Well sorry I'm an adult and I can make my own decisions. And frankly my fast-food jobs are not cutting it for the bills.” “Fast food? What about college?” “I couldn't do both make money and do school.” “So, you've been lying this whole time.” “I’m sorry mom but it was between me, and you and I chose you.” She had hot tears welling up. “But with this job I can pay for everything and more.” “You'll call me every day?” I threw myself in her arms like I was a little girl again. “Everyday.”

I get on the plane, and I sit down. My whole life was about to change. I was going to go from nobody to where I have permission to punch strangers. But I was ready for whatever or whoever will be there. 

[talaofthevalley]

Vibe check for borderline crack but also kinda serious AU where Baldr somehow finds himself heart freeloading in Riku years after his death, and now Riku has a keyblade wielder with a body count hanging around over the events of the mainline games. Baldr haunting the narative figuratively AND literally.

Extra features such as Riku and Baldr having extra strong light in them because to quote the intro to KH1 "the closer you get to light the greater your shadow becomes" but much like how negative times can easily overtake positive ones, it's not easily noticeable.

Featuring events such as:

Hanging around Destiny Islands as an incorporeal ghost that can barely interact with Riku but spending most of his time sleeping or at ease kinda does wonders for all those repressed emotions and trauma.

Adults think Riku has an imaginary friend. Riku was halfway convinced he was being haunted thanks to Baldr's white hair, eyes and lashes.

Baldr gets attached. Just a little bit.

Watching Riku struggle with his inner darkness and feeling abandoned in KH1 hits a little too close for comfort for Baldr, but hey, he knows from experience that anyone's voice would be preferable to the darkness.

Baldr clocking Xehanort almost immediately and going what the fuck. What the hell are you doing. Bastard what happened to you after all these years. Finds out Xehanort's trying to create Kingdom Hearts and is all OH so when *I* try to do it, you kill me, but if it's you, it's totally fine? I hope the kid beats your ass.

Baldr popping in as a voice in the climax and giving Ansem Seeker of Darkness a crisis before he dies, which he didn't quite *mean* to but he can still read emotions as a heart ghost. Feels kinda good he's not gonna lie.

Riku eventually grows taller than Baldr and he feels slighted. Offended. You're supposed to be a pipsqueak stop that.

Riku instead of turning into Ansem SoD in KH2 takes on the form of Baldr from connecting with his own darkness and, by proxy, Baldr. Instead of getting taller he gets shorter.

Cue Baldr weighing the pros and cons of Riku revealing his new form in front of Xemnas like- Cons: The possible rise of danger my heart innkeeper will be in. Pros: Chaos.

Sora squinting at Baldr!Riku until he screams and points like "YOU'RE THE GUY! FROM RIKU'S DRAWINGS! THE GHOST!" and Kairi doesn't get it until Sora reminds her of the guy Riku sometimes talked about when they were kids and drew pictures of and then SHE'S pointing like !??!!?! and Riku's like uuuuhhhh I can explain but it'll take a while.

"You know Xehanort? Why didn't you say anything??" "Yeah he was my classmate. And then he executed me after I killed the others in our class. And some of our upperclassmen. It's not the best conversation opener."

Riku becoming understandably distressed once he finds out how exactly Baldr died and the lead-up to his breakdown. Has to go talk to Mickey and be reassured that if Riku ever loses his way in the darkness again, they'll pull him right out no matter how many times it takes.

Baldr tries very, very hard not to be bitter.

"My feelings about my friends, sister and place of birth are complicated on the best of days, but I'm glad you don't have to live with the suffocating guilt and anxiety that there's something inherently wrong with you for having even a sliver more darkness in you than what's considered acceptable and worrying your loved ones will put you down if they find out. I'm glad you have people who understand you, and who try to understand you."

"Do you ever wish you could meet your sister again?" "I'm content mourning her."

The state of Sora, Riku and Kairi's friendship and complicated feelings about each other is almost enough to give Baldr an aneurysm when he feels them.

The fun of DDD where Baldr can take a solid form inside the dream realm and meets young Xehanort when his death is still fresh in his mind :^ )

Baldr, finding out about what happened with Eraqus and his apprentices; "Goddamnit Eraqus."

Someone telling Riku to follow his heart and he goes "Are you asking me to kill?"

Baldr; The number one guy who can get under Xehanort's skin and tear down his 'specialest guy' mindset, and only partly because his emotions are an open book to him. Takes a look at adult versions of him and goes "Oh I want to bully him so bad, it'd be so easy." Xehanort; Has spent the last decades researching darkness because of Baldr, while also pointedly not thinking about Baldr, that Baldr killed their friends, or that Xehanort killed him.

Why is Baldr in Riku? Eeeh, unsure. Mayhaps the kids were all meant to go to Quadratum after they died but Baldr went "nope" and drifted around instead until Riku was born and his heart went "oh twinsies". Maybe his classmates have been looking for him, after time has passed to think and reflect yet there's still been no sign of him.

And since I'm a sucker for happy endings all the DR kids reunite in Quadratum and Xehanort and Baldr can now kick each other's ankles and be the kind of pair that would be unbelievably toxic where they different people but it somehow works. Being able to read your partner's emotions would be very one-sided in any situation except where they can read yours right back.

[horizon-verizon]

I haven't seen anyone commenting on this (I know you're not watching the episodes) but in a meeting. TGC talk about "that any loot coin would be welcome" or something like that, hinting that monetarily they might not be so well off and all I could think is WTF! The coffers are supposed to be full and then they hide it!!

Part of me is of course worried that they're going to use this somehow against Rhaenyra to make her look worse when she does Joff's celebration or when she tortures Tylan.But also...

They have been years of peace!! With Visenys bedridden so there shouldn't have been many parties/banquets/hunting/whatever. This isn't Robert wasting money. Tylan where is the money?! Are you stealing it? What did they spend it on? Was it the new Alicent decorations? Personally I think so. All the treasure was invested in decorating the entire place like setp 2.0 and in making a monument to the martyrdom of Sant Alicent 😇

I just want to laugh at any "they kept the kingdom in orden! 🥺Where was Rhaenyra but eating cakes!😠 She is so privileged and selfish! 🙄"

Look, I don't know. Either the treasurer is stealing or Alicent and Otto are fucking stupid at managing money but this doesn't exactly paint them in the best light.

I will refrain from making theories simply because this show doesn't not give us enough scenes to really draw on more evidence for such theories due to its bad pacing and lack of actual character/environment explorations. So, you could be right...but without other pieces of damning evidence for a Watsonian reading/explanation as to why the greens have much less money than they are supposed to, I can only be Doylist and say that it's ore likely that they wished to make the greens more hardpressed in handling the city and make Rhaenyra's image worse for later. Because it strikes me as very weird that Tyland could be stealign from the treasury--not impossible....but of all people on that council, him?--or Otto mismanaging the money seeing as he's the most competent green there. Just not with raising or treating actual people with respect. And the whole lack of attention paid to the killing of Luke for their plans and fear of Rhaenyra's retaliation is entirely the fault of the writers wishing to make a valid response from a woman who's been heir for years-mother seem an individual's evil or absolute moral failure.

You're right, there were MUCH less (read none) random parties, less parties than there were canonically with this Viserys being much sicker and immobile, but in general this show tries to show less luxurious Targs and upper-class behavior/activities where they could have explored how Alicent v Rhaenyra and their supporters navigate and interact with each other as well as how Alicent v Rhaenyra dictate to/protect their kids in these contexts.

[discobrainrot]

You know what if you're still doing the ship hc asks i want the swap au kim harry i said i wasn't picky last night but now... It's different I'm invested also bc i loved that emotional hc and then the harrys a bottom right? one killed me lmao thank u

DAMN RIGHT LMFAO

You're very welcome, Anon! I live to make people laugh and cry (usually in that order).

Also, I've been getting really carried away with these. They're... not just HC's, they're ficlets. I'm just admitting it to myself lol. To shorten the posts a bit (and because I'm probably spending more time than I should on them, lol), I'm going to do one HC per ask. Y'all can feel free to keep sending them in!

Kim gets Harry to dance in the church, and it barely takes a nudge.

This Harry is more openly invested in the citizens of Martinaise than Kim. He's still a cockatoo - flying from place to place and talking to everyone he meets. At first, Kim rolls his eyes. What a fucking loser. Why waste our time with this shit? Let's just get out of here...

But, despite himself, Kim stays and helps. They confront Annette's mother about why she's stuck out in the cold. Harry nearly backs down, not wanting to cause a scene. Kim doesn't. 

His childhood is unreachable - lost to the same void as the rest of his memories. But that can't banish the sensation of shivers. He looks through the window and sees Annette rub her hands together, trying to stay warm. He knows her nails are bitten down to the quick. He clenches his fists. Ragged nails bite his palm. 

He knows Harry wants to snap at Plaisance but can't get the words out. So Kim does it for him. Does she want to see her daughter lose her fingers to frostbite? He asks if she's fucking proud of herself. 

Harry is speechless - he doesn't know how to react apart from dragging Kim outside. But the next time they walk by the bookstore, Annette is inside. Kim never apologizes to Plaisance; she glares daggers at him whenever they come into the store. 

(Harry doesn't know how to say it, but he's proud.)

Harry feels for Lena and worries for her husband. Kim rolls his eyes and says they'll look for him. Harry wants to hear about more cryptids but is terrified of looking insane. Kim tells him everyone thinks he's insane already, so he might as well ask. But the look they share keeps no secrets. Kim doesn't think he's crazy. Harry almost cries.

Harry wants to help Cuno but can't get through to him, so Kim talks to the kid. They find the Working Class Woman's missing husband and give her the bad news. Kim stands behind Harry, and it hits him how much the big oaf cares. 

They meet the Speedfreaks and help them find a new sound. Kim doesn't remember his old friends, but he feels them. He feels their heartbeat in the thrumming bass and flashing lights. Whispers of cigarette smoke and too-big leather jackets dance at the peripheries of Kim's mind. Dancing, twirling, laughing. 

He taps his feet. He wants to dance. He needs to dance.

And he won't do it alone.

So Kim extends his hand to Harry and nods at the dance floor. Harry tells him he can't - he's not a good dancer.

Kim tells him he doesn't care.

Harry stammers and says he only knows disco moves, that he wouldn't know the first thing about dancing to this sort of music.

Kim laughs (not bitter this time but joyful) and says no one knows how to dance to this music. It was only just made tonight. 

Harry stammers. He'll only slow Kim down.

Kim says that he doesn't care. He'll wait all night. 

Harry squirms and shrinks, but he knows Kim is right. He's not getting out of here without dancing. So he takes Kim's hand and assumes they'll just do an awkward little shuffle and call it a night.

They don't. Kim holds onto Harry. He holds him close and makes them move. He laughs with unrestrained delight and, despite himself, Harry does too. They dance under the 2mm hole in the universe. They lean into each other's arms. They're blanketed in silence, but they aren't afraid. 

It gets late - later than either of them realizes. The music is off, and the ravers are asleep. Kim is almost nodding off as Harry holds him upright. It feels like a dream. So they sway, Jr. High Slow Dance style. And they don't want to leave. But they have to.

And they will. Just... not yet.

God, please, not yet. 

[evita-shelby]

Tie your heart to mine

Ch.10

Gif by @violaobanion

Warnings: brief mention of the holocaust (contrary to popular belief the Allied governments amd some people did know about what the Nazis were doing)

The couch at the back of the pub doesn’t compare to his old bed nor Diane’s.

He’s fought the urge to climb up the drain pipe knowing she’s left the balcony doors unlocked for him.

Does that even when she’s not there, so he can have a place to hide in.

Tom hates to admit it, but he missed her.

Missed how easy it was to just go up there, snuggle into bed with her and know nothing can touch them there.

She’s always warm, always waiting for him because she, just like him, has gotten too used it that sleeping alone feels wrong.

But she lied to him.

Everything built on a lie from the beginning, its no wonder it came to this.

“You’re still not talking to her?” Lois asks the moment he lays down in the bed that feels too small since he had his last growth spurt a year ago.

He was taller than his dad now, about three or four inches to be specific.

He took after his mum who came from tall and lanky blond people.

Lois took after dad even if she was a little one the tall side.

“She’s in Birmingham, her dad’s gonna answer the fucking telephone again.” Tom lies and hopes she doesn’t pry.

But she will, only because he does the same when she’s the one having troubles.

Lois doesn’t know what the row was about.

As far as she and his dad know, Diane’s taking care of business and he’s trying to keep his word to Mrs. Johnson who’s gotten the police asking questions after one of them caught him leaving Diane’s balcony.

The pig had the fucking nerve to call him Romeo.

Only reason he didn’t do shit about it was because its the last thing they need.

“You want to talk about it, Tom?” she asks quietly knowing he’ll say no.

They’re each other’s best friend.

No one else can come close, not his nor hers.

But he doesn’t want them worrying for him more than they already do. Tom already makes them worry about him as it is, no need to add to the burden.

His job is to be a bloody nuisance so they forget they have actual real problems going on.

“Royal Navy, 3rd class air gunner.” Tom says the words, partly to get it out of the way and have someone else know it.

“At least you’ll get out in the world.” I’m sorry she means.

Diane’s too much a pessimist to understand what looking at the bright side means for them.

They don’t have the privilege of admitting defeat and cry about.

You either sink or swim.

“She didn’t want to tell me because she didn’t think I could handle it.” He says flicking the ash off his cigarette into the ashbowl he’d brought up here with him.

It was Diane who couldn’t handle it, the one thinking the worst and already thinking he will die.

“What did you tell her?” Lois asks hoping to fix things between him and Diane because it will stop him from moping about it.

“Said, mum did always like putting me in sailor suits.” The blonde answered and not being surprised by her quiet chuckle.

The only photographs of them as kids had been them in matching sailor suits the only time they could ever afford to see the beach.

“Diane didn’t think a fucking joke was an appropriate response to that.” He adds as he takes a drag of his cigarette.

It’s nearly gone, and still won’t do the trick.

“Maybe she’s just scared for you, and her brother. You heard her, they are putting people who aren’t Aryan in camps and killing them in Germany. Might be she didn’t want to tell you, because she is the one who can’t handle it.”

Didn’t think Lois would be taking her side, if she’s sticking up for Di, next time she talks about Harry, Tom’s going to have to stick up for him to even things out.

“If you say so, Loo.” She might be right, just doesn’t excuse the lying and Diane thinking him a bloody fool.

But he’d rather talk this out with her, in person preferably.

“So you’re going to give her a call tomorrow ?” she asked knowing he’s not putting the ashtray away because he’s going to sleep.

Tom knows he’s got enough saved up for a train ticket to Birmingham, and sure he has no fucking clue where the mysterious Arrow House is nor how far is from Small Heath, but he does know where Diane keeps her shit.

“Nah, gonna surprise her. I’ll be right back.” He said carefully opening the old window.

“Where you going, Romeo?” she asked teasing him about it all. “I thought you said she wasn’t home.”

“She isn’t, can’t go to her house if I don’t know where it bloody is, can I?”

The moment he starts asking people if they know someone heading to Arrow House is when the fun starts.

Small Heath reminds him of Longsight, endless rows of brick houses, people going about there day and that.

The only difference is that for every ten men, one of them wears a flat cap.

And then there’s the Shelby Company Limited signs on cars, boats and even some places.

Tom doesn’t go to the Digbeth office, no because he’ll be there.

He goes to the pub instead.

Garrison Tavern, a Shelby Family Distillery.

Needs a drink anyways.

“So what brings you here, manc?” the barman asks looking at him with suspicion.

He was as old as his dad, had that same don’t fuck with me look all these blokes have here.

“A girl.” He answers knowing its going to get good. “Do you know where Arrow House is, heard she lived there.”

Tom keeps it vague, one wrong word and they’ll send him home in pieces.

The man shares a look with two others, peaky blinders like him who Tom knows he can’t win against.

“Many girls up there in the big house, maybe I know her.” The man keeps on going as if Tom isn’t almost shaking with excitement.

He likes stirring trouble, something his dad and Lois know and hate.

He can’t help it, every time someone wants to make him feel small and afraid his fuse burns up and he explodes on the poor fucker who gets in his way.

This time, it might save him the fare to the country house.

“You might, her name’s Diane.” Tom tries not to smile when he says it, but he can’t help it.

Tom is laughing like a madman when the men throw a burlap sack over his head and drag him out the Garrison and into the back of a truck.

He’s still running his mouth knowing they won’t touch him when the sack is taken off and he is kneeling before the Devil of Small Heath.

“You got balls, I’ll give you that.” The man said, rubbing his cigarette on his upper lip before lighting it up.

[omega-tech]

ROE V WADE, BIRTH CONTROL AND NOW IVF?

(i would like to say i am sorry ahead of time because this is going to be a nsfw rant with foul language but ya have been warn)

As I sit here feeling sorry for the women in this country who are going through war about their rights, what they can’t do to their bodys. I can’t help but wonder why this is an issue from the government about what women can do to their bodies and try to be in control of them. I for one just don’t fucking care what a women want to do to their body’s, if she want to have a abortion because she can’t take care a child on her own or financially support it. Then i am all for it, it also goes for women who was a victim of rape. I feel if a women get rape by her rapist and get pregnant by him, she have a right to abort his baby. 

But what I don't see in this picture is why the government wants to control women 's rights and their reproductive organs. It is their bodys and why do they have to act like judges tour women like they’re murderers for having a abortion of a child they can’t take care of or support. Yeah ya mother fuckers love to talk and care for that unborn child, but when it come and being born. Ya are quick to turn around and not support it at all and leave that child all alone and helpless. 

What's worse about ROE V. WADE after they took that away. I knew they were going to go after other protected items to prevent women getting pregnant like birth control/plan b and condoms. Hell, us guys get worried when we can’t buy condoms because our state banned them because they believe it is not right to waste a good load of cum. And I won't be surprised if they started arresting us guys for wasting cum, then putting it in a woman. Hell i put one better, they are probably going to arrest us guys for masturbation and killing all those good children that are in a form of sperm. “Oh look everybody, i am going to jail for jerking my stick and shooting my load off in the toilet when watching pornhub. And they are going to fine me for each load I shoot out of the millions of children i kill.” 

And now they are stopping IVF. what the fuck do a fucking egg have to do with this. Well the government also thinks it is an unborn child and it is wrong to freeze them. In other terms, couples who are looking to have a child through IVF treatment will not get one due to the wrongful way to have kids………what? You mean, couples who are trying to have a child and even though they did all the source of things (i won’t name them but you get the picture) to make a child now can’t if they go through this treatment. Suck my Mexican rooster cock! You mean you're going to take away this treatment that can help these desperate couples to have a child through scientific treatment of IVF. because the old way isn’t working for them. How the fuck you became governor/senate/district lawyer, do you have your high school diploma or got your fucking GED and a community college degree. Because I think you didn’t do well in science/biology class to understand how chromosomes work and also embryonic.  

So I would like to say this to our American government people who controlling this ship. Ya need to start worrying about other things like the housing crisis, homelessness, inflation, retirement/social security, police brutality, and ceasefire in Gaza. Then worrying about a woman's reproductive organs. Because “WE THE PEOPLE” have the right to vote, meaning if we don’t like what we’re seeing. Then we can vote you out. 

[divorcedmalewife]

vent under the readmore lmao

it's just so funny how my mom complains about the double standard her parents and my dad's parents display with them. both sets of my grandparents have never helped my parents raise me or my brother And they always justified it by saying that my parents had their head on their shoulders. they were fucking 19, 20, 21, 22 years old. no one that age has their head on their shoulders especially not my young parents. My mom who had my brother when she was 18 and me when she was 21. like damn I get that they have other kids, my aunts and uncles, and they needed more help but my parents struggled for years. we have been steadily lower middle class our entire fucking lives. It wasn't until very recently within the last few years that my parents have made more money.

And it's so funny that my mom talks about double standards like that saying that her parents focused more on her other kids than they did on her. And it's funny because she did the exact same thing to me. She was always more concerned about my brother than she was with me because I was the kid that they didn't have to worry about. I was the fucking kid with my head on my shoulders. My mom recently described me as fiercely independent and I'm like gee Mom I wonder why. And it's not even like I can blame her that much for worrying more about my brother because he would have absolutely fucking killed himself if she didn't. idk it's just so funny to me that my mom was put to the wayside because she has her head on her shoulders. And she hated that feeling so much.. And then she ended up doing it to me too. And I know she feels guilty about it God knows I get enough random texts from her apologizing about it. but I have forgiven her and I wish she would forgive herself

[omnivorousshipper]

Did I ever tell you guys about the time my student jumped out the window?

Ok, so I wasn't actually in the classroom when it happened

I had to do a lot of state testing, so I had to beg and plead to have a substitute cover my one class that I taught solo. I luckily got one that day

I had never seen the sub before (and haven't since), but he seemed super chill. I liked his vibe, especially since he had some really cool snake bit piercings

So, I set everything up and introduce him to all the kiddos. I give a fair warning that I didn't expect any teaching to actually be done and for him to just keep them from killing each other (you think I'm joking but I've had to break up a few fights)

Putting my faith into the sub, I leave and run up three flights of stairs to give the state test to the older kids

I don't get back to my classroom for 3 hours

When I enter, nothing was out of the ordinary. I go about my day and go to the lunch room to check on a few kids and get my tablets back from the kiddos.

That's when my student M stops me. I can instantly tell she wants to tattle

"J pushed your fan out the window!"

I'm confused but not upset. I'd personally knocked one of my fans out the same window. And I didn't think the kid did it on purpose since he and I had a good relationship.

But she keeps going:

"A jumped out the window to get it!"

Now I'm really concerned and hope she's exaggerating. My classroom is on the first floor (thank goodness) and faced a little empty plot of land. I mainly teach 6th graders, so 11-12. All the kids are pretty athletic so I'm not too worried about anyone getting hurt

So I ask her if she's joking

She's not

At this point, my stress was already through the roof with state testing and I can't deal with this.

Luckily, all 6th grade was at lunch and I go to the kid who knocked the fan out the window

J admits that it was an accident and that A very much went out the window

I go to A.

Now, A is a very sweet boy. He means really well but there's a bit of a disconnect when it comes to certain rules.

A had just moved to the US and spoke/understood little English. Several teachers had to get after him for running in the halls and roughhousing too much. He didn't always realize what he was doing was going against school rules so I kept this in mind when talking to him

"A, did you go out the window?"

He nods at me

I thank him for grabbing my fan but tell him not to do it again. I'm able to explain that it's dangerous and he understands.

The next day, I'm back in class with all the kiddos and clarify the story with everyone.

The whole class agrees with me that jumping out the window is dangerous and could get them in serious trouble, but I had to ask.

"What did the sub do? Why didn't he stop A?"

L and O say the sub did nothing.

I chalk it up to him freezing and unable to stop A before he did it.

Then, I ask:

"Why didn't anyone think of using the door?"

There is literally an exit door a few feet from my classroom. Staff constantly uses, even having students open it for them. There's no alarm or anything on it.

The kiddos don't have an answer to this.

All in all, I wasn't upset. My fan wasn't broken, the kids were safe, no harm no foul.

But, I never saw the substitute again.

I really want to know what he was feeling and thinking when A went out the window. Because if I was in his position, I'd be freaking the fuck out

[casspurrjoybell-25]

Skating on Thin Ice - Chapter 47 - Part 2

*Warning - Adult Content*

Elijah Ellis

The next day at school, I didn't see Fox until he limped his way into English class with Ian by his side.

Then he sat in his usual spot in the back of the room, placing his hand on my shoulder as he walked by.

"Holy fuck," Nadia excitedly whispered as she watched Fox go by us.

"You fucking topped him?"

"Shh," I hushed her, holding my finger to my lips.

"I knew one of them had to be gay," Lexa commented with a sly smile.

"And you snagged the hottest one."

Nadia scowled at her girlfriend who held her hands up in defense while I shook my head at her.

"Hey, just because I'm gay doesn't mean I can't tell that he's hot," Lexa defended.

As Nadia and Lexa started chatting, I heard laughter coming from the back of the room.

I turned to see the hockey guys chuckling among themselves, lightly shoving Fox while he sat there with a glare on his face.

I could only imagine the things they were saying to him about the obvious pain he was in this morning.

It didn't take a genius to figure out what the pain was from.

As soon as class ended, Fox was quick to meet up with me at my seat, earning amused stares from Nadia and Lexa.

"I'm going to kill those assholes," Fox hissed, sending a scowl back to where our friends were laughing at him.

Even Ian, who I was worried would be in a sour mood today, was chuckling as he stood up from his seat.

Before I could say anything, Fox grabbed my hand and led me out the classroom, leaving our friends behind.

"Is your car fixed yet?" I wondered, remembering he had been late again this morning.

Fox shook his head.

"My dad had to order a battery for it because the store was out. Wren let me take his car today."

"He let you take it?" I asked, astonishment clear in my voice.

"Yeah, you know how he's been being weirdly nice lately," Fox replied, still holding onto my hand as we walked down the hall.

"Plus I think Robin is off from work today so they can just take his car if they do anything."

Fox and I walked together until we had to split up to go to our respective classes.

Before departing, Fox placed a chaste kiss on my lips then walked in the other direction.

********

It wasn't until lunchtime when I saw him again, coming up to where I sat at the GSA table.

"Can I sit here? Those idiots are still annoying the shit out of me," Fox said, sitting down beside me and placing his tray down on the table.

None of the other GSA kids had made it to the table yet, but I didn't have to sit alone for long since Fox was now accompanying me.

"You get annoyed easily," I reminded him, opening up my water bottle and taking a sip.

He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I know but they've been extra annoying today."

Claudia rushed over to the table once she saw that Fox and I were sitting there.

"So when's our double date?" she asked with a sweet smile, sitting across from us and resting her elbows on the table with her cheeks in her hands.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Fox asked her, his eyebrows pinching together.

"You, Elijah," Claudia answered, gesturing toward us.

"Me, Holly. Date. Together."

"No," Fox denied, shaking his head.

Claudia sat down in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest and staring Fox down like she was waiting for him to give in.

He wasn't budging, turning to face me and effectively ignoring Claudia's outburst.

"Come on, Fox," she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air.

"I can't get away from annoying people today, no matter how hard I try," Fox said to me, causing me to chuckle as I glanced at Claudia's irritated glare.

I figured he would eventually give into Claudia's request if she bugged him enough about it.

Despite being exes, the two of them still cared deeply for each other and considered each other close friends.

Claudia let the topic go when Holly made her way to the table and stole all of her attention.

"Uh, oh, now we've got three couples at this table," Austin said as he sat down with his lunch, Trevor and Johnny sitting on either side of him.

"Though, this one I wouldn't mind seeing make out."

"Austin," Johnny complained.

It still surprised me that Fox found Austin amusing as he sat beside me, laughing at his words.

I felt warmth in my chest at the thought of Fox becoming more and more comfortable with his sexuality.

"Is everyone treating you two alright?" Trevor asked, ignoring Austin's crude remarks.

"Other than some staring, I think it's gone pretty well," I replied, looking to Fox for confirmation.

Fox nodded.

"Besides our own team being annoying about it, it's been fine."

Trevor laughed.

"Joshua was telling me that the whole team was super shocked when you came out at the tournament."

Not very subtly, Fox's eyebrows shot up on his forehead as he turned to give me a look due to Trevor's mention of Joshua.

I lightly kicked my boyfriend under the table.

"It was a heat of the moment thing," I said, trying to distract from Fox's hiss in pain.

"No one was really expecting it."

With that, the conversation drifted to something else and lunch seemed as though it was over as soon as it started.

********

Finally being able to get back on the ice felt amazing, even though the coaches were making practice as grueling as possible.

They said it was to keep us fresh since we wouldn't be able to compete for five games but I was sure they just liked seeing us suffer.

We were all growing tired from the drills we had been running and Fox was getting increasingly frustrated when his glasses kept fogging up in his helmet.

The coaches gathered us at center ice toward the end of practice, Alex out of breath and leaning on Fox for support.

Fox appeared to be too tired to even bother shoving him off.

"Alright boys. I think you've had enough for today," Coach Silva announced, glancing around at all of us.

"We'll have a lighter practice tomorrow. You guys can go."

"Lighter practice my ass," Jude complained from behind me as we made our way to the locker room.

Fox and I stood next to each other at our lockers, getting ready to change out of our gear when Ryan came up behind us.

"Bruins game at my house Friday?" Ryan asked, a hand on each of our shoulders.

"We have to go out with Claudia and Holly," Fox grumbled, sitting down to pull his skates off.

Fox had told me at the start of practice that Claudia had ended up convincing him to go on the double date in one of the classes they had together after lunch.

"Come over for the Sunday matinee then," Ryan responded with a grin, patting Fox on the shoulder and walking away.

"You're still coming over tonight, right?" I asked Fox, sitting down beside him.

"For family night."

Fox glanced up at me, his lips quirking up slightly.

"Yes, I'm coming."

I grinned at him, then turned my gaze down to my lap until Ian plopped down beside me and shook the bench.

He didn't say anything as Fox and I stared at him while he took off his equipment.

Once he had the lower half of his equipment off, Ian stood up and took off his jersey, pads and under shirt.

That was when I noticed the nasty red mark on his arm.

"Woah, are you okay?" I asked him without thinking.

"Elijah," Fox whispered, placing his hand on my arm and shaking his head at me.

Ian sported a surprised expression as he shared a glance with Fox, as if he was shocked Fox hadn't told me anything about why he had gone over the night before.

"I'm fine," Ian replied, his expression turning impassive.

"My mom smacked me with her stupid iron. She claims she didn't know it was still hot."

My eyes bulged at his words.

The burn on his arm was considerably large, looking like it must be throbbing.

"Wipe the concern off your face, Ellis," Ian said in an even tone.

"I'm fine. I'm not being abused. She's just a little annoying lady with a bad temper."

With that, he turned to face his locker and finished undressing before grabbing a towel and heading to the showers.

My eyes slowly drifted to Fox, the shock still clear on his face.

"Don't ask," he said, shaking his head.

[perpetual-fool]

(What didn't happen)

It is the second grade of elementary school, I am seven years old. I am bullied on a daily basis. Most mornings I feel nauseous. The teachers punish me for what happens no matter what I do. Showing any emotion at all invites harassment. I learn that the best way to hide what I'm feeling is to not feel it at all. I push everything down, make myself numb. The adults praise me for being 'stoic'.

It is the first year of junior high, I am twelve years old. Puberty has started and I'm now bigger than the other kids, they stop bullying me. School has become torture. There is only memorization and inane busywork, they don't teach us anything. I don't need homework to pass, so I never do it. I always say I've lost it. I don't keep things organized and I don't look too hard, so it's not technically a lie. One particular day I get the idea that maybe I will start trying. I ask one of the teachers for another copy of the homework I'd already lost, as my parents kept telling me the teachers would help if I asked. "Why should I?" she says, "Because I need your help?" I say, confused. She doesn't reply. I never ask for help again.

It is the second year of high school, I am sixteen. I am dead inside. My religion has taught me that everything I am is evil, and avoiding the 'evil' of others has kept me socially isolated. The only bright spot of my day is orchestra class, which is at least a very little bit stimulating. I end up sitting next to a girl called Rene. She keeps playfully poking me until I take notice. She's small and cute and her bubbly demeanor is intoxicating. She likes me for some reason. We start chatting online. Initially it's all frivolous, but I'm desperate for connection and after not very long I start opening up about my feelings. She doesn't berate me or blow it off or make fun of me. She listens, she asks questions to be sure she knows what I'm saying, and she checks with examples to be sure she understands. It's the first real kindness I've ever known. She opens up too, and I do my best to reciprocate. I fuck it up quite frequently, but she's patient with me and we talk it over whenever I make a mistake, as she knows I haven't been able to openly be myself since kindergarten. And..

I was going to say we went our separate ways until my breakdown in college, but if she had been like this, there's no way in heaven or hell I'd have let her go willingly. (For that matter, I didn't want the real one to go either, but that was her decision.) And I was gonna say she's not a believer to make all this and the next part in particular make sense.

It is the first year of college, I am nineteen. I have no more faith in school, I have reached the end of the line and they still are teaching me nothing. The loneliness and depression have become crippling. I don't go to classes, I can barely leave my room, some days I can't get out of bed at all. I've kept telling myself this must all be for some greater good, but I'm starting to plan on killing myself, and there can't be any greater good for me after that. My faith in my religion is growing thin. Having no one left to turn to, I reach out to Rene. Being worried for my health she asks if I can stay with her. I ditch school, making the two hour drive back so I can see her. Over the next couple days I share all of the crumbling convictions I'd been indoctrinated with and she slowly helps me reach the conclusion I already know is coming. And when it does, it seems like a world of possibilities opens up to me. Rene keeps me grounded through my naive optimism, explaining to me that I can't just tell religious people they're wrong and such.

And I have to stop here. I'd like to say that then she gave me a crash course on relationships, friendship, romance, sex, etc. But I don't know how that would work, I've never had that.

- Writing this, all the usual imagined conversations came to me. But this time I have answers. I feel like I'm going through the breakup again. I'm exhausted. It hurts. The woman herself is long gone, of course. But the loss of the kind of person I thought she was hurts too. She was so full of joy and endlessly compassionate. And still, even from the very beginning, she was my enemy.

I'm torn. I feel good, light. I might finally have my footing. But also, I'm so very empty, gutted. I wanted to be a part of that world, not find out that it doesn't exist. And I do still miss the woman herself. She was.. very convincing. Years later and you're still hurting me. Bah.

Tomorrow will be different.