#she's the government's worst nightmare

[thistleanddown]

Everyone who has ever met Anna Vacarescu has collectively decided there is something incredibly uncanny about her.

Anna was born human, raised human, and has remained such well into her current year of 56. She does not look like it. Flowing within her is unbridled magic, thick as her blood. Stars race down her veins with every pulse of her heart, faster than it takes to blink. It trickles down her arms to her fingertips. Glimmering, you can only catch it in the corner of your eye. Only the corner. Her hair, a length beginning to rival that of Rapunzel, is an impossibly pure shade of white. It behaves of its own volition, pouring from her scalp in thick waves, like the curtain of a waterfall and shining even when there is no light to catch. Eyes the color of heliotropes that seem eternal in their depth, and it is rare to find someone who can meet them without falling dizzy. At certain angles, they don’t seem to belong to her. Sometimes they look as if she took those deft fingers of hers, plucked them straight from the skull of an archfey and placed them, still bloody, beneath her lashes.

In the buzzing fluorescent lights of the hospital corridor, she ripples, appearing as if she was a reflection taken from the surface of the water and set free upon the land. Even the inhuman staff members cannot believe Anna truly exists.

“She must be a changeling, or some other kind of faerie,”says Joaquin, the vampiric head of the pediatric ward, with unshakable certainty. This is despite the fact that the fair folk have denied several times over that she is theirs. Fearfully, his eyes dart over to the entrance of the cafeteria. “There’s no two ways about it.”

“No, no, no,”replies Kida, shaking her head fervently. Her voice is conspiratory. “She’s a wraith of some kind. That’s why she stays around the hospital, see, to feed on the life of dying patients.”

This is not the first time this conversation has been had about her. It will not be the last. All throughout, they do not say Anna’s name for fear of catching her attention. It does not matter that she is nowhere in the room, or that she isn’t even on shift today. Just as the Mycenaean Greeks called dread Persephone by Despoina and the ancient Greeks called her Kore for fear of invoking her, it is common knowledge to never say Anna’s name, for she will hear and she will know.

(Anna pretends she is not aware of this. After all, what fun is there in shattering the illusion that keeps so many of the rowdy postgraduate residents in line?)

Few are there that are not instinctively wary of Anna. Comfort radiates from her like heat from the hearth fire, but so does power. Magic hangs thick in the air about her. Lead-weighted, its tendrils reach out and out, white-hot and ice-cold, and there is an unspoken understanding of volatility. Within a fraction of a fraction of a second it can swallow all in its path whole with the same effort of striking a match and letting it fall into a puddle of gasoline. This is neither on purpose nor by accident, simply an unconscious operation. Just as the magpie does not force the blue and green iridescence of her feathers or the flesh thinks to rot from bone; they simply do. Her form shimmers and flickers, an inward and outward contradiction. Human and yet overflowing with magic.

One does not throw themself into magic and come out untouched. Every inch is torn apart and remade, stitched together again with chthonic grace and savage edges. Ethereality blossoms in the bones. Such is the creation of a witch.

Anna Vacarescu was certainly uncanny. She could not be anything else. She did not want to.

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: black science fiction

As february and black history month nears its end, if you're a reader let's not forget to read and appreciate books by black authors the rest of the year as well! If you're a sci-fi fan like me, perhaps this list can help find some good books to sink your teeth into.

Bleak dystopias, high tech space adventures, alien monsters, alternate dimensions, mash-ups of sci-fi and fantasy - this list features a little bit of everything for genre fiction fans!

For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!

If you want more book recs, check out my masterpost of rec lists!

Lagoon by Nnedi Okorafor

Something massive and alien crashes into the ocean off the coast of Nigeria. Three people, a marine biologist, a rapper, and a soldier, find themselves at the center of this presence, attempting to shepherd an alien ambassador as chaos spreads in the city. A strange novel that mixes the supernatural with the alien, shifts between many different POVs, and gives a one of a kind look at a possible first contact.

Nubia: The Awakening (Nubia series) by Omar Epps & Clarence A. Hayes

Young adult. Three teens living in the slums of an enviromentally ravaged New York find that something powerful is awakening within them. They’re all children of refugees of Nubia, a utopian African island nation that sank as the climate worsened, and realize now that their parents have been hiding aspects of their heritage from them. But as they come into their own, someone seeks to use their abilities to his own ends, against their own people.

The Scourge Between Stars by Ness Brown

Novella. After having failed at establishing a new colony, starship Calypso fights to make it back to Earth. Acting captain Jacklyn Albright is already struggling against the threats of interstellar space and impending starvation when the ship throws her a new danger: something is hiding on the ship, picking off her crew one by one in bloody, gruesome ways. A quick, excellent read if you want some good Alien vibes.

Dawn (Xenogenesis trilogy) by Octavia E. Butler*

After a devestating war leaves humanity on the brink of extinction, survivor Lilith finds herself waking up naked and alone in a strange room. She’s been rescued by the Oankali, who have arrived just in time to save the human race. But there’s a price to survival, and it might be humanity itself. Absolutely fucked up I love it I once had to drop the book mid read to stare at the ceiling and exclaim in horror at what was going on. Includes darker examinations of agency and consent, so enter with caution.

Midnight Robber by Nalo Hopkinson*

Utterly unique in world-building, story, and prose, Midnight Robber follows young Tan-Tan and her father, inhabitants of the Carribean-colonized planet of Toussaint. When her father commits a terrible crime, he’s exiled to a parallel version of the same planet, home to strange aliens and other human exiles. Tan-Tan, not wanting to lose her father, follows with him. Trapped on this new planet, he becomes her worst nightmare. Enter this book with caution, as it contains graphic child sexual abuse.

Rosewater (The Wormwood trilogy) by Tade Thompson

In Nigeria lies Rosewater, a city bordering on a strange, alien biodome. Its motives are unknown, but it’s having an undeniable effect on the surrounding life. Kaaro, former criminal and current psychic agent for the government, is one of the people changed by it. When other psychics like him begin getting killed, Kaaro must take it upon himself to find out the truth about the biodome and its intentions.

Do You Dream of Terra-Two? by Temi Oh

Young adult. A century ago, an astronomer discovered a possibly Earth-like planet. Now, a team of veteran astronauts and carefully chosen teenagers are preparing to embark on a twenty-three year trip to get there. But space is dangerous, and the team has no one to rely on but each other if - or when - something goes wrong. An introspective slowburn of a story, this focuses more on character work than action.

The Best of All Possible Worlds by Karen Lord

After the planet Sadira is left uninhabitable, its few survivors are forced to move to a new world. On Cygnus Beta, they work to rebuild their society alongside their distant relatives of the planet, while trying to preserve what remains of their culture. Focused less on hard science or action, The Best of All Possible Worlds is more about culture, romance and the ethics and practicalities of telepathy.

Mirage (Mirage duology) by Somaiya Daud

Young adult. Eighteen-year-old Amani lives on an isolated moon under the oppressive occupation of the Valthek empire. When Amani is abducted, she finds herself someplace wholly unexpected: the royal palace. As it turns out, she's nearly identical to the half-Valthek, and widely hated, princess Maram, who is in need of a body double. If Amani ever wants to make it back home or see her people freed from oppression, she will have to play her role as princess perfectly. While sci-fi, this one more has the vibe of a fantasy.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon

Life on the lower decks of the generation ship HSS Matilda is hard for Aster, an outcast even among outcasts, trying to survive in a system not dissimilar to the old antebellum South. The ship’s leaders have imposed harsh restrictions on their darker skinned people, using them as an oppressed work force as they travel toward their supposed Promised Land. But as Aster finds a link between the death of the ship’s sovereign and the suicide of her own mother, she realizes there may be a way off the ship.

Where It Rains in Color by Denise Crittendon

The planet Swazembi is a utopia of color and beauty, the most beautiful of all its citizens being the Rare Indigo. Lileala was just named Rare Indigo, but her strict yet pampered life gets upended when her beautiful skin is struck by a mysterious sickness, leaving it covered in scars and scabs. Meanwhile, voices start to whisper in Lileala's mind, bringing to the surface a past long forgotten involving her entire society.

Eacaping Exodus (Escaping Exodus duology) by Nicky Drayden

Seske is the heir to the leader of a clan living inside a gigantic, spacefaring beast, of which they frequently need to catch a new one to reside in as their presence slowly kills the beast from the inside. While I found the ending rushed with regards to plot and character, the worldbuilding is very fresh and the overall plot of survival and class struggle an interesting one. It’s also sapphic!

Chain-Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah*

In a near future America, inmates on death row or with life sentences in private prisons can choose to participate in death matches for entertainment. If they survive long enough - a rare case indeed - they regain their freedom. Among these prisoners are Loretta Thurwar and Hamara "Hurricane Staxxx" Stacker, partners behind the scenes and close to the deadline of a possible release - if only they can survive for long enough. As the game continues to be stacked against them and protests mount outside, two women fight for love, freedom, and their own humanity. Chain-Gang All-Stars is bleak and unflinching as well as genuinely hopeful in its portrayal of a dark but all to real possible future.

Parable of the Sower (Earthseed duology) by Octavia E. Butler*

In a bleak future, Lauren Olamina lives with her family in a gated community, one of few still safe places in a time of chaos. When her community falls, Lauren is forced on the run. As she makes her way toward possible safety, she picks up a following of other refugees, and sows the seeds of a new ideology which may one day be the saviour of mankind. Very bleak and scarily realistic, Parable of the Sower will make you both fear for mankind and regain your hope for humanity.

Binti (Binti trilogy) by Nnedi Okorafor

Young adult novella. Binti is the first of the Himba people to be accepted into the prestigious Oomza University, the finest place of higher learning in all the galaxy. But as she embarks on her interstellar journey, the unthinkable happens: her ship is attacked by the terrifying Meduse, an alien race at war with Oomza University.

War Girls (War Girls duology) by Tochi Onyebuchi

In an enviromentally fraught future, the Nigerian civil war has flared back up, utilizing cybernetics and mechs to enhance its soldiers. Two sisters, by bond if not by blood, are separated and end up on differing sides of the struggle. Brutal and dark, with themes of dehumanization of soldiers through cybernetics that turn them into weapons, and the effect and trauma this has on them.

The Space Between Worlds (The Space Between Worlds duology) by Micaiah Johnson

Multiverse travel is finally possible, but there’s a catch: No one can visit a world where their counterpart is still alive. Enter Cara, whose parallel selves happen to be exceptionally good at dying. As such she has a very special job in traveling to these worlds, hoping to keep her position long enough to gain citizenship in the walled-off Wiley City, away from the wastes where she grew up. But her job is dangerous, especially when she gets on the tracks of a secret that threatens the entire multiverse. Really cool worldbuilding and characters, also featuring a sapphic lead!

The Fifth Season (The Broken Eart trilogy) by N.K. Jemisin*

In a world regularly torn apart by natural disasters, a big one finally strikes and society as we know it falls, leaving people floundering to survive in a post apocalyptic world, its secrets and past to be slowly revealed. We get to follow a mother as she races through this world to find and save her missing daughter. While mostly fantasy in genre, this series does have some sci-fi flavor, and is genuinely some of the best books I've ever read, please read them.

The Women Could Fly by Megan Giddings*

In an alternate version of our present, the witch hunt never ended. Women are constantly watched and expected to marry young so their husbands can keep an eye on them. When she was fourteen, Josephine's mother disappeared, leveling suspicions at both mother and daughter of possible witchcraft. Now, nearly a decade and a half later, Jo, in trying to finally accept her missing mother as dead, decides to follow up on a set of seemingly nonsensical instructions left in her will. Features a bisexual lead!

The Prey of Gods by Nicky Drayden

South African-set scifi featuring gods ancient and new, robots finding sentience, dik-diks, and a gay teen with mind control abilities. An ancient goddess seeks to return to her true power no matter how many humans she has to sacrifice to get there. A little bit all over the place but very creative and fresh.

The Summer Prince by Alaya Dawn Johnson*

Young adult. Young artist June Costa lives in Palmares Tres, a beautiful, matriarchal city relying heavily on tradition, one of which is the Summer King. The most recent Summer King is Enki, a bold boy and fellow artist. With him at her side, June seeks to finally find fame and recognition through her art, breaking through the generational divide of her home. But growing close to Enki is dangerous, because he, like all Summer Kings, is destined to die.

The Blood Trials (The Blood Gifted duology) by N.E. Davenport

After Ikenna's grandfather is assasinated, she is convinced that only a member of the Praetorian guard, elite soldiers, could’ve killed him. Seeking to uncover his killer, Ikenna enrolls in a dangerous trial to join the Praetorians which only a quarter of applicants survive. For Ikenna, the stakes are even higher, as she's hiding forbidden blood magic which could cost her her life. Mix of fantasy and sci-fi. While I didn’t super vibe with this one, I suspect fans of action packed romantasy will enjoy it.

Babel-17 by Samuel R. Delany

1960s classic. Rydra Wong is a space captain, linguist and poet who is set on learning to understand Babel-17, a language which is humanity's only clue at the enemy in an interstaller war. But Babel-17 is more than just a language, and studying it may change Rydra forever.

Pet (Pet duology) by Akwaeke Emezi

Young adult novella. Jam lives in a utopian future that has been freed of monsters and the systems which created and upheld them. But then she meets Pet, a dangerous creature claiming to be hunting a monster still among them, prepared to stop at nothing to find them. While I personally found the word-building in Pet lacking, it deftly handles dark subjects of what makes a human a monster.

Bonus AKA I haven’t read these yet but they seem really cool

Lion's Blood by Steven Barnes

Alternate history in which Africans colonized South America while vikings colonized the North. The vikings sell abducted Celts and Franks as slaves to the South, one of which is eleven-years-old Irish boy Aidan O'Dere, who was just bought by a Southern plantation owner.

The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow

Young adult dystopia. Ellie lives in a future where humanity is under the control of the alien Ilori. All art is forbidden, but Ellie keeps a secret library; when one of her books disappears, she fears discovery and execution. M0Rr1S, born in a lab and raised to be emotionless, finds her library, and though he should deliver her for execution, he finds himself obsessed with human music. Together the two embark on a roadtrip which may save humanity.

Womb City by Tlotlo Tsamaase

Lelah lives in future Botswana, but despite money and fame she finds herself in an unhappy marriage, her body controlled via microchip by her husband. After burying the body of an accidental hit and run, Lelah's life gets worse when the ghost of her victim returns to enact bloody vengeance.

Orleans by Sherri L. Smith

Young adult. Fen de la Guerre, living in a quarantined Gulf Coast left devestated by storms and sickness, is forced on the run with a newborn after her tribe is attacked. Hoping to get the child to safety, Fen seeks to get to the other side of the wall, she teams up with a scientist from the outside the quarantine zone.

Everfair by Nisi Shawl

A neo-victorian alternate history, in which a part of Congo was kept safe from colonisation, becoming Everfair, a safe haven for both the people of Congo and former slaves returning from America. Here they must struggle to keep this home safe for them all.

The Splinter in the Sky by Kemi Ashing-Giwa

Space opera. Enitan just wants to live a quiet life in the aftermath of a failed war of conquest, but when her lover is killed and her sister kidnapped, she's forced to leave her plans behind to save her sister.

Honorary mentions AKA these didn't really work for me but maybe you guys will like them: The City We Became (Great Cities duology) by N.K. Jemisin, The Lesson by Cadwell Turnbull, The A.I. Who Loved Me by Alyssa Cole

[withahappyrefrain]

Gin & Tonics (and Parking Spots)

Summary: In which Venus finally meets the infamous Dagger Squad. The fourth installment of the Parking Spots universe

Warnings: Language, Venus being Venus, Jake being lovesick, suggestive language, Venus has an actual name but it's only used twice

A sea of khaki that reeked of testosterone everywhere one turned. 

It was Venus' worst nightmare. 

She made her way past the crowd of people, avoiding the stares. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know she stuck out like a sore thumb. A "civilian" is what Jake called it. 

Apparently "not a soldier" was too simple for the military. And "wasn't coerced by a recruiter to sell my soul to the US government" was too long. 

"If you get there before me or Javy, just sit by Penny. She's the owner. You'll like her a lot." 

Venus rolled her eyes at her fiancé, "I like anyone who can make a good drink, Jake." 

Jake smiled before pressing a gentle kiss to her temple, “Y’know what I mean. She’ll look out for you.”

“What can I get you my dear?” Venus looked up to find an older woman behind the bar. 

Her green eyes looked kind. She suddenly understood what Jake meant. 

“I’ll just take a gin and tonic,” She shrugged her shoulders, trying her best to appear indifferent, undeterred by the borderline lewd stares. When getting ready, she thought the yellow dress would be a great choice for meeting Jake’s friends. Not too formal, not too informal. It was flattering, but not too revealing. She even put thought into her hair, opting to style it in waves rather than the natural curls that Jake adored. 

“You wore that on our first date,” Jake said softly, a smile gracing his face. 

She lowered the hanger in surprise, “You remember that?”

“Of course,” he reached a hand out to cup one side of her sweet face, “How could I forget?”

She didn’t account for the fact she would be alone for a bit. No, she was far too busy freaking out about meeting her fiance’s friends for the first time. 

Fuck. 

“They’re gonna love you V.”

Perhaps if she had some experience of being in a serious relationship and meeting their friends, anxiety wouldn’t be coursing through her body. She had met a few friends of the person she was dating before, but it was usually at a party where after introductions, she was left alone to her own devices. 

The idea that someone would want to introduce her to other parts of their life, to become a part of them, was new. That they thought she was important enough to do so. Family? Sure. That was a given. But friends? The people you willingly chose to spend time with?

 A whole different ballpark. Though in this case, perhaps turmac was more fitting. 

“Since you’re new, I’m going to need to see your ID hun,” The woman, presumably Penny, said, pulling her out of her thoughts. 

"Of course," She held her head high as pulled her driver's license from her wallet, ignoring the stares, trying to play off her hands shaking. 

If they wanted her to move, they could fucking ask. 

The bartender, who had to be Penny, looked at the ID, a soft smile forming, “Well Danica, I can see why Jake calls you Venus.”

“You…. know who I am?” Great, there was already a preconceived idea of who she was. Before she even had a chance, her fate was sealed. 

What was she known as? The girl who yelled at Jake in a parking lot? The girl who threw bread rolls at him? 

Penny continued to smile, “Of course! Jake is always excited to show me the latest picture he’s taken of you. The flowers you two got from the farmer’s market are beautiful by the way.”

Heat rushed to her face while recalling last weekend’s adventures. Jake insisted on taking her picture by the flower stand. It was strange at first-still was-how his Instagram that had once been only thirst traps workout pictures were now full of her and their adventures together. 

As much fun as it was going through the older posts and giving him hell about it, she loved looking at the newer photos, the ones that showed their journey together. 

“He’s a good photographer, I’ll give him that,” A small smile began to form on Venus' face, her shoulders visibly relaxing. 

“Don’t give him too much. He needs to be kept on his toes,” Penny laughed in agreement, “I’m Penny by the way. So where is the man of the hour?"

Penny handed her a gin and tonic as she explained, "Had a last minute meeting with Simpson. He should be coming soon, as is the rest of the squad from my understanding." 

Penny raised an eyebrow, "So you finally get to meet them! They have been dying to meet you. Been asking Jake about it for months." 

The grip on her drink tightened. 

Jake had a reputation. And with that reputation, came preconceived notions of what kind of girl he would date. 

Venus was not what people thought of when it came to Jake's ideal type. While his family adored her, they all admitted they were surprised when Jake first called to tell them about the woman he met in a parking lot. Hell, even her family was surprised when she described him. They still adored him, loved him, and insisted on serving a traditionally prepared lechon at the engagement party.

But friends were a whole different breed. One willingly chose to spend time with them. Friends were honest, and more often than not, their opinion was highly valued. 

She had learned that the hard way. 

"I mean, she's nice but do you see it going anywhere? I don't." 

"She's really not your type, man." 

"She's kind of a bitch." 

A soft hand gently laid on top of hers, breaking Venus out of her thoughts. Was it motherly instinct or was her anxiety that plainly written across her face? 

She found Penny smiling, "They're so excited to meet you. They already adore you and ask about you constantly." 

They were looking forward to meeting you, she repeated in her head. That means they want to meet you. Adore is such a specific word, Penny wouldn't have said it if it wasn't true. 

She clung onto Penny's words. They were nuggets of truth, a shield against the negative thoughts that clouded her brain. The evidence that those shitty experiences were in the past, that the situation she was in now was entirely different, was better. 

Her therapist would be so proud. 

A more relaxed, genuine smile appeared on Venus’ face, the first one she could recall occurring since pulling into the parking lot of the Hard Deck. 

“I look forward to meeting everyone. I’ll take another gin and tonic when you get a chance!” 

“I got it covered Penny,” a smooth voice said. She turned around, half expecting (moreso hoping) to see Jake, despite the lack of Texan drawl. 

When she turned around, there was no tall blonde with sparkling emerald green eyes and a smile so white, she could see it from outer space. 

Instead, a Hawaiin shirt so ugly that no Dad at a BBQ would go near greeted her. 

Her lips formed a tight line, her eyes narrowing. It was the same look she wore when dealing with annoying patients or annoying men. 

“Welcome to the Hard Deck,” The man said with a wink. His eyes were nice, but the caterpillar that occupied the space between his nose and upper lip was what she noticed first. 

She recognized him immediately. Jake had given her plenty of information so she could recognize members of the dagger squad. 

Bold of him to assume she would just go up to them. But maybe she could have some fun with this. 

Penny gave her a look, one that silently asked Should I tell him? Venus just shook her head, turning back to face the infamous Bradley Bradshaw. 

“How do you know it’s my first time?” She asked coyly with a raised eyebrow before bringing the drink back to her lips. 

“With a face like that? I wouldn't be able to forget ya." Did he also get his pickup lines from the eighties, in addition to his shirts?

Bradlet leaned against the railing of the bar, bending slightly so they were at eye level, “So what brings you here? Besides fate.” 

Her eyes could not roll any harder. How many more lines would it take before he started singing Jerry Lewis? 

“Well, after hearing about it so much, I just had to see the mustache in person,” She responded, moving her drink to her left hand. 

If there had to be a sound that best represented Bradley’s face, it was a record scratch. The best he could respond with was a very confused “Excuse me?”

“I’ll give you credit, you pull off the look pretty well, despite it consisting of a pornstache and clothes from the part of the eighties that even Stranger Things won’t touch.”

“It’s not….it’s not a pornstache.”

A darked haired woman clad in a khaki uniform nearby snorted. 

Venus grinned, “It is absolutely a pornstache. But some people are into that. I don’t get it, but good for you Rooster.”

Bradley's eyes knitted together in confusion,“Do I…..do I know you?”

"I would hope you know of me. According to Javy, Jake talks about me a lot. Anyways, we should become best friends. Jake’s reaction will be hilarious.”

It was then Bradley finally looked down, seeing the huge emerald ring on her left hand.

And that's when it hit Bradley Bradshaw like a fucking train. 

"You're Venus?!" 

It was much louder than she would have liked, the statement causing several people to look at her with curious stares. 

Just play it cool, they all work for the military, you actually do important shit, she told herself over and over again. 

“In the flesh!" She flashed a smile before taking a huge sip of her drink, trying to ignore the fact that another pilot was now approaching her. 

She was going to need another drink to get through this. 

"You're Hangman's girl? The one who told him to fuck off when you first met him?"The dark haired woman asked, practically shoving Bradley out of the way. 

The infamous Venus shrugged, "I didn't exactly tell him to fuck off. I told him it made no sense why he could fly million-dollar jets but was a shit driver. Phoenix?" 

Natasha nodded, “Glad he’s no longer hiding you. I’ve been telling him to bring you around ever since he arrived late to a debriefing with hearts in his eyes as he talked about a woman who referred to him as Hangnail.” 

The comment brough relief. At least one person liked her, at least one person wanted to get to know her. 

Natasha grabbed her arm, “Come on. The rest of the gang is going to lose their minds when they learn you’re finally here.”

Through the throngs of pilots, Natasha led her to a table filled with other men who all looked vaguely familiar. The tight lipped smile remained on her face as she straightened her shoulders, ready to face the (multiple) men of the hour. 

“Hey guys, guess who I met?”

“V! You made it!” Before she could say anything, a pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around her waist, picking her up. 

“Javy, I swear to God if you don’t put me down-” She couldn’t help but laugh. Just like with Jake, Javy had become the older brother Venus never knew she wanted. 

Knowing Javy would be there was what made her feel comfortable enough to arrive without Jake. Winning over your fiancé's best friend was quite the confidence boost.

Maybe it was the fact he actually made an effort to get to know her. Maybe it was the fact he took all her digs about the Saints in stride. But with Jake, the three of them had become a trio and she didn't mind at all. 

"Hey guys! This is Danica! Aka Venus, aka the one who got Jake to settle down!"

"You really know how to build suspense Coyote," Nat deadpanned before taking a seat next to Bob. Javy lowered her down, her feet returning to the ground. 

"You're Venus? The one he proposed to after eight months of dating?" A man with shining brown eyes and energy that could best be described as a golden retriever asked. 

Her features softened as she looked down at her emerald ring,  "When you know, you know. I also take it you're Mickey?"

"Wow, I guess Hangman talks about us more than we thought," Mickey joked, earning the chuckles from others. 

She looked back up, that signature smirk having returned, "We're also having a long engagement, that was my compromise." 

"That's not what he said," Phoenix scoffed, recalling the different potential venues Jake had already shown her. 

She continued fidgeting with her engagement ring. It wasn’t a matter of Venus being unfamiliar to having all eyes on her. But with Jake's friends, it was different. Another layer of being official that she wasn’t used to. 

"Well, you deserve all the drinks for being able to put up with Bagman,” Mickey commented, as if he sensed her nerves.  

“Bagman?” she asked, a mischievous glint forming in her big eyes. 

"It's what we call him when we feel he hasn't earned being called his proper name, which I'm sure as you know, is most of the time," A man with glasses and a thin lopsided smile that was sweeter than sugar explained. 

Her eyes light up, "Oh, I am definitely using that. Also, are you Bob?" 

Without waiting for an answer, she walked over to the bespectacled WSO, “You’re so cute! I’m adopting you.” For added effect, she placed a hand on each of Bob’s cheeks. 

“Does that mean Bagman is my dad?" Bob asked with an almost grimace. 

"Yeah, but I'll make sure he chills out," She reassured him with a soft smile. 

“Wait, she’s actually nice?” Reuben whispered to Natasha and Bradley, “The way Jake describes her-”

“Look, if she can find redeemable qualities in Bagman of all people, she must have a lot going for her,” Natasha interjected. 

As time passed, Venus found herself more and more at ease with the group. Despite having heard so much, they still took the time to ask questions, to get to know her. They wouldn’t only talk about Jake (not that she wanted them to), and they actually tried to include her in the conversation, despite her lack of knowledge about their field. 

It was different. It was nice. 

Once drinks got low, Venus offered to go get the next round. Bradley followed her, still apologizing for the flirting earlier. 

She chuckled, “It’s totally fine. In fact, I think it’s hilarious that you and Bagman have a similar type,” Her eyes narrowed, “Which by the way, I know plenty of cute, spitfire nurses who are single.”

Bradley’s face turned bright red, “I’m uh-I don’t need any help with-”

“Look, I already plan to find Bob's future wife, might as well find yours while I’m at it. There are people out there who are into what you call a mustache,” She shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t get it, but I’m willing to find them for you.” 

It was the way she mixed sweetness with snark that confused Bradley, as well as everyone else. 

“Can I ask you something?” Bradley finally asked. 

“I’m not going to tell you his dick size,” A devious smirk adorned her face, causing her to resemble the image the squad had conjured in their minds when Jake first told them how the ‘future Mrs. Seresin’ referred to him as a knockoff Ken doll. 

“That’s not what-”

“But I will say-”

“Please don’t.”

“You could have named him Hungman and it still would have been accurate.”

“I really, really don’t need to hear this.” Bradley’s face was now bright red, whereas the woman next to him casually ordered the next round of beers and a lemon seltzer for Bob with a grin on her face. 

“You’re telling me the men in the navy don’t talk about their dick sizes? Least of all, the person whose call sign means cock?”

“It’s a bird-”

“That also means cock.”

Bradley stared at her, quite frankly afraid that if he said another word, he'd have to hear about Hangman’s dick. 

She stared right back, able to hold off the impromptu staring contest for a few moments before erupting into a fit of giggles.

When Jake first rambled on about the beautiful woman he had met at a coffee shop, who he insisted was his future wife, Bradley (and everyone else) thought the blonde pilot had lost his damn mind. 

But after seeing her truly smile, Bradley could understand why Jake became so smitten. 

“How….do you two work?” It was an honest question. Javy asked the same thing the first time he went out with you and Jake. She even wondered about it herself when they first got together. 

She shrugged, fingers fiddling with Jake’s class ring that was on a silver chain around her neck, “We just….do. He calms me down. I remind him sometimes it’s better to be quiet and just listen. We both make each other smile and laugh. It’s nice. More than nice. It’s wonderful.” 

Bradley noticed what she was fiddling with, "So that’s where it went.”

“He has a ring of mine that he wears with his dog tags. We traded before he went on deployment.” She shrugged again, as if to suggest it wasn’t a big deal. 

The soft smile on her face suggested the exact opposite. 

Bradley grinned, “Do you know he also wears one of your hair ties around his wrist?”

Her smile only continued to grow, "He says the more pieces he has of me on him, the luckier he is in the sky."  

Truthfully, Venus wasn't sure what to expect when she began dating Jake. Certainly not him being such a romantic. It was strange at first. Why would someone go through so much effort to bring flowers, to make dinner reservations, to plan dates when they already had you?

When Jake scoffed at the very idea of not needing to impress it was the first time she truly reflected on previous relationships and just how shitty they were. 

"Baby, they were awful," Jake pressed a chaste kiss to her shoulder, "You deserve so much more than what you've gotten." 

A hand on your shoulder broke you out of your thoughts. 

"I think I just saw that Jeep Wrangler you love so much just pulled up," Natasha teased. 

She rolled your eyes, despite a small smile remaining as you shook your head, "I hate that fucking car." 

"I'm glad someone else agr-"

"Bradshaw, don't get me started on your car choices." Her eyes narrowed as she shot him a look. 

Only she got to insult that hideous car. 

Bradley promptly closed his mouth, not wanting to face her infamous wrath. 

He was still reeling from the Pornstache comment. 

So instead, he simply helped her carry the round of drinks back to the rest of the squad. 

"So Venus, what does the woman who made Jake Seresin lovesick do?" Payback asked. 

"I'm a level three neonatal nurse at the local hospital," she explained, "Which is partly why it's been so hard to meet y'all. My schedule can be pretty irregular." 

The table was quiet as they processed this new piece of information. When they first heard about her, they couldn't help but imagine a cutthroat business woman, a manager, a consultant. 

Not a nurse. Particularly one who dealt with children. 

"So you um, you-" 

She set her glass down with force, "I do not play with babies and change diapers all day. My job is to keep premature babies alive and ensure they're able to go home with their family and live as healthy of a life as possible." 

Her voice was tense, no doubt due to past dismissive comments regarding her job. 

Bob shifted closer to her, "I think that's amazing. One of my sister's kids was born at 28 weeks and she still swears to this day that if it weren't for y'all, she would not have been able to keep it together." 

Her shoulders visibly relaxed as a smile formed on her face, "I like you Bob. I'm going to keep you." 

Mickey spoke up, "Hey, wait a second. My girlfriend Cielo and I have already put in a request to adopt Bob." 

She put an arm around Bob's shoulder, shaking her head, "Nah, I call dibs." 

"We knew him first!" If one didn’t see the gleam of playfulness that laced Mickey’s amber eyes, his tone would sound completely defensive. 

Bob finally spoke up, "Just a friendly reminder that I'm thirty one years old." 

She turned to the soft spoken WSO, "Which is why I am determined to find you your Missus." 

"Get in line, Cielo and I have been working on that." 

Natasha snorted, "We've all been working on that." 

Bob signed, putting a palm to his face. 

"Hey V, I think your man just walked in." Maybe it was fate, maybe the universe took pity on Bob. 

But when Venus looked up upon hearing Reuben's words, her heart skipped a beat. 

There he was. 

Jake was over at the bar, waiting for Penny to take notice of him. No doubt ordering gin and tonic, along with a basket of fries for Venus. He always made sure she had something to snack on. 

"Wanna see something?" She asked the gang. 

Without waiting, she put two fingers to her mouth, a loud whistle coming out. The noise caught the attention of several people, including a blonde man with eyes greener than the emerald that adorned her engagement ring. 

When Jake's eyes met hers, her heart skipped a beat. His eyes lit up, a smile overtaking his face. 

"Hi loverboy," she called out with a wave. Oh she tried to smirk, try to play it off as if she was indifferent to the sight of her fiancé. 

But Danica's eyes told a different story. 

"Venus!" Jake called out, getting even more attention. Not that he noticed. He was too busy practically shoving folks out of the way to get to the table. 

Maybe she picked up her pace to meet Jake. Maybe Jake knocked a drink over as his hands placed themselves underneath her thighs, allowing him to pick her up in one swoop. 

It’s not like either of them were paying attention. 

—-----------------------------------------

To say Jake Seresin was annoyed was an understatement.

His day had started out so well. He got to wake up not on base in a small, old twin bed, but instead in the arms of his fiancé. 

Then he had to go to work. 

Jake loved his job. He was damn good at it- one of the best, in fact. He enjoyed being at work, which was something many couldn't say. 

But not when his job caused him to be late, unable to be with the woman he loved, especially on a night where she needed him the most. 

Normally, she would have already met his friends before Jake proposed to her. But thanks to the nature of his job, which involved spur-of-the-moment missions, he had done things a bit backwards. 

If it weren't for the nature of his job, Venus could have met the squad back when she only had the title of girlfriend. 

Sure, she still would have put pressure on herself, as was in her nature. But decidedly less pressure. 

Jake wanted to be there for her, to reassure her that she was in fact, the most incredible person he had ever met and that his friends would see that immediately. To put a hand on her shoulder whenever he saw that smile begin to fade, self doubt creeping into her mind. 

Which was why he was all but running into the Hard Deck. His meeting with Cyclone lasted much longer than intended. Normally Jake wasn’t super concerned about showing up late to the Hard Deck, but today was the worst day it could happen. 

Deep in his heart, he knew she would be just fine. At worst, she wouldn’t approach the squad until Javy arrived and would stick by Penny. 

Jake just wanted her to feel comfortable, to feel at ease. He wanted to support her, like any decent husband would. 

So yeah, maybe he was taking advantage of his status, knowing that no one would say anything if he pushed past them without a single excuse me. Jake knew his great grandmother was rolling in her grave, but he hoped Mimi would understand all in due time. 

“Hey Penny, have you happened to see an absolute goddess with an affinity for gin and tonics?” Jake asked once he arrived at the front of the bar, ignoring the glares. 

Penny simply smiled, "I think your friends found her. She was also pretty low on her beverage last time I saw her." 

"Well, we can't have that. I'll take a Miller Light, along with a Gin and tonic with a basket of fries." Jake recalled that she had texted him around two that she was on her lunch break. He doubted she had much time, if any, to eat when she got home from work. 

Order fries first, then find the love of his life. 

If only the bar wasn't slammed. 

He was trying his best not to be impatient. It wasn't Penny's fault, the Hard Deck was always like this when a new class arrived to base. 

But damn was it frustrating. The minutes seemed to tick away. Jake looked around, unable to spot his fiancé amidst the sea of khaki. 

Until he heard that whistle. 

He looked around, Bradshaw finally moving his bigass head to reveal the person that made his heart soar. 

She was sitting with the rest of the gang, smiling. She looked at ease, as if she had always been a part of this crew. 

Jake knew this was possible, that she had it in herself to open up and connect, rather than sit at the bar and wait for him to come. 

But sometimes she forgets that she can. 

So when Jake doesn't need to remind her, he can't help but beam. 

"Hi loverboy!" His heart fluttered when she sent him a wink, along with her smirk that he fell in love with the first time he saw (it also made him hard but that's neither here nor there). 

So yes, he did gently push some people out of the way to get to the table. And he did knock a drink over when he went to pick her up. But in Jake's defense, he hadn't seen her since seven-thirty in the morning and it was only Bradley's drink. 

"Hi baby," He said as he pressed his lips to her cheek. 

She rolled her eyes, though the smile still remained on her face, "You act like you haven't seen me in forever."

"Because I haven't," Jake murmured against her skin, "It's been ten hours." 

"Ten hours?" She repeated, her tone teasing, "You're incorrigible." 

"I don't know what that means, but thanks V," He said before pressing his lips against hers.  

Before Jake, she wasn't used to PDA. It wasn't a matter of not desiring it, she did. But none of her past relationships were into it, so it wasn't something she pursued. 

And then she met Jake. Jake, who would just grab her hand without saying anything. Jake, whose natural inclination was to wrap his arms around her. Jake, who would make the effort to kiss her, even if he was just passing by to get a drink or to unload the dishwasher. 

She liked it. She couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face as his lips moved to her nose, then forehead. 

"Can you put me down? You're looking a little desperate GI Joe," She teased, quickly placing a chaste kiss on his jawline. 

"You like it," He whispered in her ear, gently setting her back down. 

"Debatable," She rolled her eyes, trying to fight back a smile as Jake pressed another kiss against her cheek. 

"Debatable?" He questioned, "The ring on your left hand says otherwise sweetheart." 

Venus looked down at the ring, "I guess." 

"You guess?" Jake hummed, his arms now wrapped around her waist, his chin resting on top of her head. 

The noise and chatter of the Hard Deck slipped away when she looked up, meeting his emerald eyes. She bit her lower lip, trying to hold back a lovesick smile. 

It was no use, as it came out anyway. 

"Oh my God they're adorable," Bradley whispered to Natasha, stunned. 

"What the hell is happening?" Natasha whispered back, equally as stunned. 

"I think they're…in love?" Mickey didn't sound too sure of himself, if at all. 

"Of course they are, is it not obvious?" Bob practically scoffed. 

"Careful," Natasha teased, elbowing Bob playfully, "Think she still wants to adopt you. Remember who your dad would be." 

—------

The rest of the night wasn't anything unusual, save for Natasha, Bradley, Mickey, and Bob asking Venus questions while Jake, Javy, and Reuben played a round of pool. 

"So he listens when you tell him to shut up? Like deadass?" Mickey asked. 

She raised an eyebrow, "He listens to me regardless of what I say." 

"I don't believe it," Bradley started, "We can barely get him to listen to us and-" 

"Hey Jake?" Venus called out, remaining in her seat. 

Jake looked up from the angling his pool cue, his eyes lightening up when they met hers, "What's up darling?" 

"Do you think Sammy and Jess deserved to win Love Island?" Bradley couldn't help but scoff at Venus' question, there was no way- 

"Jess did, because she had the best personality of that season and was actually likable. She would have won regardless of who she coupled up with," Jake explained as he briefly looked back to his aim, "Unfortunately she was stuck on Sammy, who did not deserve to win, dude's a fuckboy if I've ever seen one. Is your drink empty?" 

The squad wasn't sure what was more shocking, the fact Jake had been able to make a perfect shot without looking again, or how focused he was on another person's needs. 

Venus, oblivious to this confusion, raised her empty drink, "I am! Can you get me another gin and tonic please?" 

Jake immediately set his pool stick down, ignoring the confused cries of Javy and Reuben as he went to Venus to give her a kiss on the cheek and pick up her glass. 

"What did you just do?" Mickey asked as soon as Jake headed over to the bar. 

Venus shrugged, "I asked him for another drink. I got his last drink, it's only fair." 

"But he was in a middle of a game-" 

"The less you think about it, the less confused you'll be," Javy explained, cutting off Reuben. 

Javy had long since learned that Jake's focus was now all things Venus. He was pretty sure once Venus became pregnant, she would be able to pry Jake away from a Texas football game. 

"How do you get him to listen to you?" Bradley asked, stunned. 

"I love her," Jake scoffed because wasn't it obvious? The only people who didn't seem confused by all this were Javy and Bob. 

Jake now understood why Venus wanted to adopt the bespectacled WSO. 

"So what are we? Chopped liver?" Natasha remarked, a teasing glint in her eyes.

"He just loves y'all a little less," Venus teased, taking her drink from Jake's hands. 

Bradley scoffed, "Dude, I was your bunkmate." 

"Yeah but did you give him blowjobs frequently?" Venus asked, unaffected by the number of aviators who nearly choked on their drinks. Jake could feel the tops of cheek heat up. 

"Well, depended on-" Bradley started, much to the delightful shrieks of Natasha, Javy, and Reuben. 

"Alright, it's time for us to go pick a new song," Jake stated loudly, practically pushing his fiancé to the jukebox. 

"You're finishing that story later!" Venus called out, pointing to Bradley. 

"Only if you convince him not to play Free Rider!" Bradley called back.

Jake dragged away his fiancé, who was now laughing at the antics of his coworkers. 

He couldn't help but smile at the sight. She was beautiful like this; eyes squinting, cheeks round as she smiled, skin glowing,  not having a care in the world. 

Jake would do anything to keep that smile on her face. 

"I get to pick," She said, taking the quarter out of Jake's hand. 

"Why do you get to pick?" Jake teased before placing a kiss against her temple. 

"Because it's my first time here," she started, because wasn't it obvious? "Plus, I want Bradshaw to finish the story."

"You're really about to give Bradshaw what he wants?" Jake put his hand over his heart, "V, that's the most offensive thing you've said to me." 

Venus simply raised an eyebrow as she scoffed, "That's the most offensive thing I've said to you? Compared to all the other stuff? Compared to what I said when we first met?" 

"I thought it was charming," Jake was completely sincere, which Venus didn't know if she should find that cute or concerning. 

"I think you liked being called a Ken doll," she muttered, looking through the list of songs. 

Jake wrapped his arms around her waist, nestling his head on her shoulder, "I liked the woman who called me a Ken doll. So much so, I plan to marry her." 

Her teeth tugged her bottom lip, a tall-tale sign that she was flustered. She didn't blush, but Jake had learned the signs; she would bite her lip, her lashes would flutter. Her hand that wasn't pressing buttons on the jukebox drummed against the machine, looking for something to do. 

"I love you," he whispered. The declaration made her head turn, allowing Jake to steal a kiss. 

"Could have just asked."

"Where's the fun in that?" He pressed his lips against a heated cheek, leaving tiny kisses. 

Her eyes softened upon looking up at Jake, "How did the meeting go?" 

He squeezed the soft flesh of her hip, "Cyclone thinks I have a decent shot at the instructor position. And that I would be a good fit." 

The statement caused her eyes to light up. Jake could see that she was trying to hold herself back, trying not to get her hopes up. 

"So he'll write you a letter of recommendation?" 

He grinned, showing off his pristinely (and blindingly) white teeth, "Him and Mav." 

"We stan a short king." She said it half in jest, purely to see Jake's brows knit together in confusion, the five year age difference showing. 

"Is that a Tik Tok reference?" 

She stifled a giggle as she shook her head, "No. But you're getting there!" 

"You make me feel so old," Jake sighed. He thought he was doing so well, until Venus informed him that Instagram reels were just Tik Tok videos shown two weeks later. 

She pressed a kiss to his cheek, "So you think you have a shot at it? The position?" 

Before meeting her, Jake would have scoffed at the suggestion he wouldn't get something. He knows who he is, what he's capable of. 

But he doesn't want to let her down. To disappoint her. They both know what this position would entail; permanence. Not having to be deployed on missions. Not having to be away from her for months at a time. The ability to settle down with her. 

"I think so. Cyclone says I have the track record to prove I know the material and I now have the temperance to show I can teach it well." 

She grinned, "that's the most polite way to say you're no longer a cocky asshole." 

Jake wiggled his eyebrows, eliciting another soft giggle from her. 

"Are you sure you're okay with this? If you get the position?" She asked, biting her bottom lip in an attempt to hide her nerves. 

When Jake first brought up the idea of applying to the instructor position, she thought he was joking. Why would someone give up the chance to travel around the world, playing the role of a real life superhero? 

But then he kept bringing it up, announcing he was going to apply. When questioned, Jake said it was simple.

"Getting that job means I get to stay here, with you." 

That's what he said then and it's what he said now. 

"Besides," he added, "the chances of me becoming an ace are low. I'm more than happy to be the only one with two confirmed kills in my generation." 

Venus' eyes narrowed at him and without breaking eye contact, she pressed a button on the Jukebox. 

The notes of Queen's I Want to Break Free filled the Hard Deck, which was followed by the sounds of the squad clapping and thanking Venus. 

"Babe!" Jake nearly whined, putting his hand on his heart, "Really?!" 

"Oh please, you absolutely deserve that." Venus stated before walking towards the bar. 

Jake all but ran after her, grabbing her closest hand. 

"So is now a bad time to tell you that today I parked within the lines?" 

Venus stopped, her eyes slowly turning towards her fiancé, "Both lines?" 

Jake nodded, a proud, albeit cocky smirk adorning his face. 

She took a step forward, her face now inches apart from Jake's. 

"You know," her voice was low, "If you want me to fuck you, you can just ask." 

Jake visibly gulped, the smirk fading as heat rushed to his face, "I mean I, uh, I always want you to-" 

"Did you take a picture of it? Your parking job?" She rested her chin on Jake's head, wrapping her arms around his waist. To others, the gesture was very sweet. 

But Jake could see the desire in her eyes and it was making his knees weak. 

"It's um, how I parked outside of here-" 

"I want to see it. And then I want to go home and fuck you," with that, she was walking towards the door, her fingers hooking themselves around one of Jake's belt loops to ensure he followed. 

Not that he needed encouragement, he was already trailing right behind her. 

[batboyblog]

The recent Chappell Roan thing is why I absolutely hate the lack of political literacy in this country. Big-name celebrities think they're really cooking when they say "well Kamala still supports blowing up Palestinian babies because she won't cut ties with Israel, so therefore I'm not voting for her and you shouldn't either! Both her and Trump suck so I'm not voting/voting third party!"

Like it or not, Israel is an ALLY of the United States. We CAN'T just cut ties with them unless it's a long drawn-out process, and even then it's probably NEVER going to happen. This is basic shit we learned in social studies, holy shit!

Trump would be so much fucking worse for everyone involved, including Palestine, and not voting or voting third party is pretty much just handing your vote over to Trump due to how voting WORKS in a two-party system dictated by the fucked up electoral college.

This was a long ramble and you've probably gotten similar asks the last few months like this, but fuck, I just have to get this off my chest, and the most recent event with her was like the straw that broke the camel's back. Celebs in general need to shut the fuck up about politics unless they are actually partaking in activism instead of this virtue-signaling bullshit.

Taking things one thing at a time.

I'll admit to having only seen Chappell Roan's final video on the subject, so idk what she said before that (outside of generally)

The two things that really stuck out to me and pissed me off about that live/video was she 1. accused Democrats (she said "the left" but was clearly in context talking about the Democrats) for "transphobic policy" (also genocidal, equally silly) and it was SUCH a groundless lie, such a baseless, stupid, uninformed, silly lie. It'd be like saying "yes the right is bad! but Kamala Harris says she wants to shoot a pony every day of her Presidency and I can't support that!" And to be a Queer artist who's whole thing is centering Queer art, particularly drag who's got a young maybe not very informed queer fan base who's made talking about trans rights your main political thing to just lie about the nature of the threat to trans rights and trans lives at this moment is fucking awful and downright criminal.

Listen right now Republicans are aggressively attacking Democrats on trans rights. Trump went after Harris at their debate for "trans surgeries for illegal aliens in prison!" Republicans are attacking Tim Walz as "tampon Tim" for the idea that he supports trans male students having access to tampons (and other crazy transphobic attacks on him) Republicans are centering transphobia as a main campaign issue, anyone who gives a fuck about trans people in this nation should know Trump and Creepy Vance in charge of the federal government? is the nightmare. You can't claim to care about trans people or be "centering" them and not be doing all you can to stop Republicans at the ballot box this November. And both siding it and saying bullshit that somehow it will be just as bad if Democrats win is not stopping Republicans no matter how you personally vote.

The Second thing in her video that really annoyed me was she said she was voting for Harris but then had a whole word salad about how everyone needed to make up their own minds about who would be best. Basically saying that while she was voting for Harris, a vote for Trump was a reasonable conclusion people could reach. Again if you truly care about the issues she says she cares about, no, you can't vote for Trump. And again to use your platform to push "both sides" is to throw the very people you claim are your brand under the bus in the worst way.

I don't like to throw people under the bus for their family, Tim Walz' brother is a MAGA lunatic for example, but Chappell Roan talked about Republican family that "loved her" and I can't help but wonder if she was thinking of her Republican State Rep uncle, Darin Chappell. Again people can't control family members and I'm not asking anyone to come out and attack their family in public. I'm just wondering if her views on Republicans and finding a middle ground and "they still love me" is colored by Uncle Darin and not understanding he might love her and be proud of her but he still walks into the Missouri state capital and votes for abortion bans and transphobia.

to move onto the meat of your ask which I think is less about Roan in particular and more generalized about a certain type of celebrity and GenZ very on-line types. On the whole Israel-Palestine thing, I think most of the people posting about it know very little or know a lot of misinformation, you every see people boldly posting "I don't need to know everything to know right from wrong!" you run into that a lot. And I'd say yes, you do need to know a lot to comment on a complex multi generational ethnic-political conflict with many state and non-state actors.

Last night JD Vance and Tim Walz had their debate and every time there was an issue, housing costs, medical costs, gun violence, inflation, Vance would move it around to how if we just deported all the immigrants the issue would be fixed, no more drugs no more gun violence, housing would be cheap, just get rid of the people I don't like.

And I see a lot of that with Israel, "Palestine is a climate issue!" "Queer as in Free Palestine!" etc where if we just get rid of Israel it'll all be fixed. Which of course connects to long standing antisemitic ideas about Jews running the world, people happily sub in the word "Israel" or "Zionist" and then repeat the same old racism thats followed the Jews around for 1,000 years.

So long and short I think most people talking about Palestine don't know enough to talk about it, but what's worse don't really care about Palestine at all

I'm reminded here of Trump's "Deal of the Century". Oh? you don't remember it? shocker, in January 2020 Trump released a "peace plan" drawn up with no Palestinians involved, where Israel would be allowed to annex everything in the West Bank it would want, the Jordan Vally cutting Palestine off from Jordan and totally encircling it with Israel. The West Bank would be Swiss cheesed up into little pockets connected by tunnels or overpasses but with Israeli territory running through it everywhere. The Palestinians said "no!" and then Netanyahu claimed that Trump had green lit Israel to annex the land it wanted even without Palestinian agreement to the plan and without giving the Palestinians anything. There was some confusion and thankfully that didn't happen. We may never know the fully story of what stopped it, but I do think Trump agreed to annexing much of the West Bank, but pulled back under pressure from Gulf Arab Oil states who later in 2020 made peace with Israel in the Abraham Accords in an effort to stop Netanyahu's annexation plans.

any ways to point out, 1. Palestine was on the edge of annexation the end of the dream of Palestinian statehood in any meaningful sense, and where were the protests? the encampments? etc? it never comes up, 4 years ago, and all the people who live and breath this stuff never mention it? 2. We have reason to believe Trump signed off on a far-right government of Israel annexing much of the West Bank, his "peace plan" abandoned the outlines that American Presidents since Bill Clinton set forward for getting a Palestinian state on 95+% of the West Bank in favor of "what does the Israeli right want?" and again no one is talking about it in the context of this election, we know what he'll do, because he's done it before.

but again its not really about the Palestinians, its not about building a Palestinian state, its "get rid of Israel" and then what? what happens to the 9 million people who live in Israel? and people don't have a realistic answer, because its a political fantasy that if they just do X everything will magically get better, even on totally unrelated issues.

[insomniumstella]

stuck in the middle (1) | bucky x avenger!reader 

summary: Steve’s silly joke happened to inspire the best, or possibly the worst, idea Wanda had ever come up with — send James Buchanan Barnes and y/n on an all-expenses-paid honeymoon in Hawaii. the problem? they cannot stand to be around each other.

warnings: enemies to lovers, forced proximity, explicit language, alcohol consumption, sarcastic!bucky

word count: 4,050

taglist is down below (please let me know if you want to be added or removed from the list!)

WHERE DREAMS GO TO DIE masterlist

series’ SPOTIFY playlist 

Wanda had never considered herself too lucky, but she had not been entirely unfortunate either. 

She’d often get the last croissant at her favorite coffee shop or find money in every little corner of the compound — abandoned lockers at the gym, behind the coffee jar in the pantry, in the pocket of Tony’s pants that one and only time he had asked the girl to wash them for him.

Wanda could remember the day she had won her first contest vividly. The anxiety at the pit of her stomach, the crinkling of paper as she tore open a brown envelope, the pure joy when she had found out about receiving a pink toaster oven. That fateful day had forever been burned into her memories. 

A couple of weeks later, she had entered a second competition after accidentally stumbling upon it in a random magazine and won again and again until Wanda, getting all sorts of things for free, became a running joke at the compound. It had been no different after a major travel company had announced a contest for a free vacation in Hawaii months ago, she could sense, before she had even opened the oversized box Maui Dreams had delivered to the Avengers’ headquarters. 

Wanda had been right; she had not exhausted her luck yet. 

“Bucky, I’m sorry!” She threw the soldier a sheepish glance before dragging y/n out of the training facility that afternoon. Wanda had paid little mind to James, and if looks could kill, she would’ve been six feet under. 

It was only when the two girls had reached the compound’s kitchen did y/n notice that Wanda was still in her pajamas, holding a bright pink paper slip. The redhead’s expression was a mixture of anxiety and bewilderment, and y/n couldn’t decide which one she’d prefer to experience first if neither wasn’t an option. 

“Training with Bucky is a nightmare, so thank you for the temporary rescue, but,” she gestured to the paper Wanda was holding before getting a water bottle from the fridge, “what’s this, and why is it making you upset?” 

“This,” Wanda held up the CONGRATULATIONS: HAWAII AWAITS! letter, “is a note granting me a free vacation in Hawaii.” She chewed on her lip, staring at y/n. “Hawaii!” 

“Yes, Hawaii.” She nodded, unsure as if one wrong word would cause Wanda to lose her temper. 

“This,” she waved the paper in y/n’s face, “is a free pass for a week in paradise, and I cannot go! I read their terms and conditions and, shit, I even emailed them, but,” heavy accent laced itself around her words, “they’ve decided that for the reason that Vision is a robot, and I’m a foreign weapon of mass destruction we cannot go.” She spoke mockingly, rolling her eyes. “They worded it differently, but it seems ridiculous nonetheless.” 

“Modern problems require modern solutions.” She offered Wanda a half smile, trying to make a joke out of the situation. “Besides, they might’ve been right about the destruction part of the email.” She added in a much quieter voice, referring to the complex of buildings her teammate had recently destroyed. 

It had been purely an accident, a blunder of magic most would've had a difficult time controlling if one was to ask y/n. However, it had been a pure catastrophe if one was to ask the American government. 

“It was an accident, and the houses were empty.” The redhead cocked her head to the side, face painted in faux shock at y/n’s accusations. 

“Offer the trip to Steve. Heaven knows Captain Rogers needs a break.” She finished the water bottle, throwing it into the trash. “We can talk later, but I must get going.”

James Buchanan Barnes was undoubtedly still waiting in the training facility, and, though y/n had little desire to finish training, she couldn’t bail again. Besides, James had been beating her ass at hand-to-hand combat the past few weeks, and she’d be everything she had always despised if she gave him the satisfaction of giving up that easily. 

“I did.” The guilty undertones in Wanda’s tone stopped y/n in her tracks, and she glanced at the redhead from over her shoulder. “I signed up the two of you for the vacation.” 

Bewilderment burned in y/n’s eyes. “What?!” 

“Pack your bags.” The younger girl chuckled, leaning against the bar. Her smile was everything but innocent. “The plane leaves tomorrow evening.” 

The woman tried arguing, she did. 

As soon as James had dismissed her from training, she had been running around in meek attempts to locate Steve, and even when she had finally succeeded, Wanda’s story proved to be true. The schedules had been cleared, Steve’s bags had been packed. It was suspicious, way too suspicious — the Steve she had known for almost ten years already, wouldn’t have willingly signed up for a vacation. It was an all-expenses-paid vacation in Hawaii, yes, but everything had appeared too perfect for it to be true.

She found herself on the plane the next evening nonetheless because if The Captain Rogers agreed to it, she could see herself tanning topless, a Moscow Mule in hand, as well. The universe must’ve heard y/n’s prayers and decided to bless her with a miracle. Thank you, universe, she thought, sipping on a vodka soda the flight attendant had given her as soon as she sat down in the business-class seat. Though the airplane could never compare to the luxury of Tony’s private jets, which dripped with excessive luxury, it was far better than flights with the team, for this flight had no bickering or shouting. I need more of these, y/n decided when a nearby passenger kept slamming their backpack into the overhead bin, I need more vodka.

“This compartment must be full. Perhaps you should try the compartment next to it?” She softly suggested, flipping through the airline’s in-flight shopping catalog.

She loved boarding first for the copious amounts of space in the overhead bins because the loss of storage was the sorrow passengers who boarded last suffered.

“What the fuck?” Bucky gawked at her before giving the backpack a final push and deciding to shove it underneath the seat when it didn’t fit. “Where the fuck is Steve?” His loud voice earned judging glances from the people with kids in the row ahead of them, but he paid the family no mind.

“James?!”

Devil himself sat beside y/n, his perplexed expression matching hers. No, no, no, Steve wouldn’t.

The woman had been overly excited to meet Bucky in all his glory after the court had declared him innocent. And, sure, he had stabbed her the first time they met, but y/n had been willing to put the past behind the pair and start fresh. Everyone deserved a second chance, or everyone except Bucky, she had determined, when he had been nothing but an asshole for the last five years. It had never been a ‘James hates everyone’ issue, no, it was a ‘Bucky hates y/n’ issue. If he was determined to make her life a living hell, she was more than happy to return the favor, declaring war.

“Did you put him up to this?”

“What?”

“Did you switch places with Steve?” He repeated in a far bolder and louder voice.

She could not comprehend the words that rolled off of his tongue. Why would she, the woman who had recently replaced his almond milk with whole milk, knowing he’d suffer immensely, but doing it anyway just for the fun of it, ask Steve to go on a vacation with James?

“Yes, sergeant, I begged Steve for a week in paradise with the great James Buchanan Barnes.”

The soldier raised a brow, digging into his back pocket to retrieve something y/n deemed as a brick — an old, barely usable cellphone Bucky used for his personal endeavors. She peeked at the contact list of three whole people and snickered to herself. Steve, Sam, and his therapist were the only numbers he had saved. Though it did not come as a surprise, it was amusing to witness.

“Sir, please put the phone away, we are preparing for takeoff.”

His head shot up at the sound of the flight attendant’s voice. James glanced between the insufferable woman in the seat on his left and the woman with a pleasant smile standing nearby, carefully choosing his next battle.

“There’s been a misunderstanding.” He grinned apologetically, but closed the flip phone. “I just need to make a quick call.” 

“The plane door’s open,” y/n shrugged, pretending to look unbothered as if Bucky’s appearance on the plane wasn’t the most horrifying of problems, “you could let me go on the trip alone,” she paused, pretending to be in deep thought, “I’d be distraught, of course, but it’d be nothing a little Hawaiian sun and a martini couldn’t fix.”

Bucky scoffed at her. Was she really that stuck up to believe she was the only one in need of a holiday? 

James wouldn’t outright admit it, but he desperately craved a break from the stress of high-stakes missions, frequently occurring chaos in the compound, from y/n, who had ruined his last Wednesday by switching his almond milk to whole milk. He had stayed up in the bathroom until midnight, missing out on a potentially incredible date. It would've been his third after James had gotten his mind back and y/n had wrecked it, prompting a stream of angry messages from Jennifer, a bartender at a local bar. 

“The door is actually closed, ma’am. Please fasten your seatbelts and turn all devices on airplane mode.” The flight attendant’s smile faltered for a second. “Would you like me to bring you another vodka soda when we’re in the air?” She questioned, gesturing to y/n’s empty plastic cup as an offer for consolation.

“Make it double, please.” She nodded eagerly, the appalling realization of James and her being stuck on an airplane to Hawaii slowly creeping in.

The soldier threw an unamused glare in the girl’s direction, "if you throw up-“

“Oh my,” the annoyance in her tone was evident when she spoke, “that was one time, James,” she pushed a finger into his chest, “It was Halloween, and I wanted to outdrink Steve, and-“

“And I don’t care.” He shuffled in his seat for a more comfortable position. The plane was suddenly too hot and too cramped for James to stomach. “Just don’t throw up and, this one you might find difficult executing, stop talking to me. It’s bad enough I got tricked into getting on a plane with the most aggravating woman alive.” The words dripped with poison, firm and calculated. The former sentence was harsh, but it was his truth.  

“When we land, you could stay at the airport,” she turned to face him, her knees bumping against his half on purpose, half because of the tight space between them, “and get on the next flight to upstate New York.”

James sneered, “sounds like a plan. I sincerely hope you’ll exceed at completing it.” If anyone was to catch the next flight to NYC it would be y/n, he’d make sure of it.

She studied him, hoping her deadly stare would frighten the soldier, yet he didn’t move, make a sound, or change facial expressions. He remained entirely cool on the outside, and it infuriated her.  

The next time her knees bumped into his, it was deliberate. “I need a vacation.” If James wanted to, and he did, he would’ve purposely mistaken the comment for a plea. A plea for sympathy from none other than y/n, the woman who never begged people for anything.

“As do I.” 

“This is only the beginning then, princess,” she snatched the phone from his hands, aggressively flipping it shut from when he had turned it on after the flight attendant had left his sight, “this monstrosity is old enough to be a safety hazard, and it definitely does not have airplane mode.”

“Good. Perhaps it’ll kill us both and put me out of this misery.” He hissed, capturing y/n’s wrist.

She almost hoped it would.

“Honeymoon?!”

“I might have twisted the truth slightly,” Wanda’s voice sounded distracted over the phone.

“Slightly? I’m on a fucking honeymoon with Bucky Barnes, Wanda.” She could see Bucky through the glass windows from where she was standing in the smoking area outside of the hotel.

“Mmmh.”

“They’re putting us in the Lovers’ Suite as we speak. There’s probably going to be rose petals everywhere.”

“First, calm down.” Wanda switched the iPhone to her left side, holding it in place with her shoulder and cheek as she painted her nails.

Though she wouldn’t admit it, hearing the betrayal in y/n’s voice was the highlight of her week. She loved the girl, and if it came down to it, she’d die for her, but the situation was amusing at the least.

Steve had been the first person to find out about Hawaii, and when he made a seemingly silly joke that she should send Bucky and y/n on a honeymoon, a plan had been born.

“Second, you love roses.” A foolproof plan of Steve and Wanda to help the idiots notice what they had been blind to. “Besides it’s just for one week.”

“One week with Bucky Barnes is one week too long.”

“Please send me photos of you two at the beach.” The redhead chuckled.

“There will be no photos of us at the beach,” she replied, her tone dripping with poison, “I hope you know that I will forever hate you.”

“Don’t blame me. I didn’t know Bucky would show up instead of Steve.” Wanda lied through her teeth. 

She had known about the ordeal that would unfold. In fact, she had masterfully orchestrated it all. It was y/n’s fault for believing Captain America would choose a vacation over missions and meetings he had been scheduled to attend.

“Steve better sleep with his eyes open when I get back.”

“I love you!” Wanda hung up the phone before y/n could get another word in.

“Shit.” She cursed under her breath when the phone suddenly became silent.

The soldier’s sickeningly charming smile was the last thing y/n expected when she strutted up to the reception desk.

“Darling, would you mind showing your ID? It’s the final thing we need to check in.”

She raised a brow at James, confused. “What?”

He threw her a brief, unimpressed glance before softening his eyes and gesturing to the woman. “Aaliyah has the room ready early, but she needs both of our IDs to check us in. It’s mentioned in the rules of the contest.”

The contest Wanda had used to trick her. May she burn in Sokovian hell.

“Yes, both parties must present their IDs. It’s simply a formality.” Aaliyah chimed in. “Our staff always get informed of the winners’ names. It’s the only way to redeem activities, meals at the à la carte restaurants, and special discounts.”

“Would a driver’s license work?” She asked, rummaging through her purse before sliding a random ID over the counter.

“Of course!” The receptionist’s smile was too bright and too happy for nine in the morning, y/n decided, but then again, it was Hawaii, so perhaps people functioned differently here. “Is this your first honeymoon?”

“It is!” She answered too quickly and without giving James a chance to speak. “We’ve just been too busy to notice as time flew by. Today’s our fourth wedding anniversary.” The words fell out of her mouth quicker than y/n could stop them, and she winced at the lie.

“Congratulations! I’ll have a romantic dinner arranged for tonight. Would seven work, or should I schedule it at eight?”

She had been entirely wrong. The universe cursed her — the tipsiness from the vodka was wearing off, the week in paradise turned out to be a faux honeymoon, and the random ID, she had provided hurriedly so as to not arouse suspicions on why a regular traveler carried that many driver’s licenses, was issued under the name of none other than Amelie Barnes. The ID had never been a problem until today when it incriminated y/n as Bucky’s wife and became the ultimate punishment for all the sins she had committed against the soldier.

Perhaps I should clean out my wallet sometimes. 

“We wouldn’t want to cause any trouble, Aaliyah.” He awkwardly patted y/n on the shoulder. “You must deal with hundreds of honeymooners every day.”

“Nonsense. It’d be my pleasure.”

“The flight was exhausting,” James tried again, “we’ll probably enjoy a drink or two and call it a night.”

"It's fine, really." She chimed in, stepping further away from James and his awkward touches. "We want to order room service anyways." 

"Yes!" He agreed, glancing at y/n. "A burger sounds divine." The timber of Bucky's voice was utterly unconvincing. 

"Scheduling a dinner? It sounds too tiring and too long of a process." The woman offered Aaliyah a foolish grin, resting her elbows on the reception desk and propping her head in her hands. 

She had attempted to sound unbothered, but her delivery of words had been quite ridiculous. She appeared eccentric, stupidly staring at the employee through panicked eyes. I am not his wife, he is not my husband. Please, woman, do not arrange a romantic dinner for the two of us tonight.

Unfortunately, the receptionist did not turn out to be a mind reader. 

“It's not," she narrowed her eyes before her tightly pursed lips switched into a smile, "seven it is then! Toro Toro is our finest restaurant and will be perfect for a passionate anniversary celebration.”

“Great.” Bucky muttered under his breath.

She slid two pamphlets over the desk, “One of the pamphlets is a map of the hotel, and the other is a list of honeymoon activities. Couples massage seems to be the fan favorite.” She typed something on the computer before pushing the IDs and two sets of room keys in their direction, “Brody will lead you to the suite. Welcome to Hawaii Mr. and Mrs. Barnes.”

“I’m not going to the dinner.” James slumped into the couch.

The room was spacious and elegant, and, her intuition had been right, covered in rose petals. A bottle of champagne stood in a bucket of ice on the coffee table, a generous fruit basket and a note next to it. She landed on the opposite side of the sofa, picking up the postcard to read it.

Welcome to Hawaii — paradise awaits. We wish you a passionate and blissful honeymoon. The mea inu (drinks) are on us!

“Fine by me.” She let out a strangled chuckle at the irony of it all. “Do you think the receptionist was in on it?”

“Aaliyah?” James reached down to pop the champagne open. “She might be on something, that much I can say, but,” he took a sip from the bottle before pouring himself a glass and then, after a second of hesitation, begrudgingly poured y/n a glass too, “to think Steve would set her up is a reach.”

“Wanda would. She knew about the flights and the honeymoon package, and,” y/n got silent and took a big gulp of champagne when a sudden realization set in, “what were the rules of the contest?”

“I’m not Google on legs, y/n.” An aggravated sigh slipped past his lips.

She craved to spit a sarcastic comment at James but refrained against it. 

“What if we have to pretend to be a couple? What if the contest is designed in a way that a pair of friends or strangers cannot redeem the prize, and we’ll have to pay for everything? Tony would skin us.”

“The receptionist mentioned something along the lines of people scamming the contest’s company, but this is utter nonsense. There were five winners in total, they couldn’t possibly monitor each pair.”

“They could take away the activities.” She raised a brow, finishing her drink. “Bye, bye scuba diving.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Besides, we are,” the word got lost in his throat as James made a disgusted face, “a couple as of thirty minutes ago. In fact, we’re celebrating our fourth wedding anniversary.”

“The ID was issued a little over four years ago, Barnes.”

“And? You just had to run your big mouth and get us a reservation for a romantic dinner, didn’t you?”

“I panicked!” She raised her voice, finding a way into the bedroom. It was a monstrosity compared to the living room, decorated with not only rose petals but Hershey's chocolate kisses and candles everywhere. “The driver’s license I pulled happened to be under the name of Amelie Barnes, she saw it was issued a little over four years ago and most likely assumed I had changed my name soon after our wedding.”

“The wedding we never had.”

She had been wiping roses off the bed and onto the floor, emptying a pair of heavy suitcases on the satin sheets as soon as it was clean.

“It’s not like I could’ve snatched the ID and presented another. Perhaps she recognized you, the infamous Winter Soldier, but I, if you need a refresher,” the woman disappeared into the balcony when James came into the bedroom, “work under disguises.” Her voice was almost a whisper in the morning’s wind. “I’m the Avenger without a name.”

Nick Fury had imposed a great deal of strength and a great deal of sorrow upon y/n when she had finished S.H.I.E.L.D. training. She had excelled in many areas, but lying was her forte. The woman had once loved to be a ghost story, to embody a superhero without an identity, especially when fellow Avengers couldn't show faces in public without getting recognized. All good things come to an end, she had learned when the lies had become a burden, bleeding into her personal life, and y/n had found herself largely alone. James, a man she despised, had more genuine memories of y/n than her past lovers ever would. Over the years, it had evolved into as generous of a problem as it had been an opportunity. 

“This is bad.” Bucky followed after her. “We cannot be seen together.”

“As if we usually are.”

“I’m being serious, y/n. Forget about the money. What if someone recognizes me and connects the quite obvious dots that you might be working for the  Avengers as well?” James leaned on the balcony railing, too close to y/n for her enjoyment.

The woman stayed silent, enjoying the view. The sky was stained with various hues of blue, lighter than the endless ocean ahead of them. It was nothing short of breathtaking, glorious even. Hawaii was truly a paradise on Earth with its sandy air and pleasantly warm sun, whose rays gently caressed her skin.

“Officially you are retired. The public isn’t aware of your affiliation with Avengers.” She reminded. "Amelie Barnes is the wife of a retired officer, nothing less, nothing more."

There was a chance they could run into a former HYDRA agent or a politician the Avengers had tried and failed to lock up, but the chance was too slim to become a burden. Perhaps we could make this work, she thought and stole a glance at Bucky. She would stay on her side of the hotel while he would stay on his, and if need be, they’d pretend to be a couple without getting noticed by these vacationing villains James referred to. It had happened before, once, when Sam had a genius idea of catching an arms dealer at an upscale club in New York City. James had kissed her then, and much to y/n’s surprise, she hadn’t stopped breathing or dropped dead. They had caught the trafficker and went on their merry ways — Bucky continued to exhaust her ass at training, and y/n had switched his conditioner to body wash amongst other, less innocent, endeavors. Much to her dismay, his hair continued to stay shiny and, in Wanda’s words, quite fabulous.

“Yes, sergeant, villains just happen to vacation at The Maui Resort.” She poked fun at his obnoxious concerns, disappearing back into the bedroom.

As of now, there was only a single problem y/n needed to resolve.

Should she suggest James sleeps on the floor or in the marble bathtub?

TAGS:

@legohe4rts

@legohe4rts 

[steddieas-shegoes]

uh. what?

for @steddielovemonth prompt 'love is healing wounds'

rated m | 1,782 words | cw: injury recovery, mild blood, recreational drug use | tags: post s4, hurt/comfort, getting together, fade to black

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

The stitches pulled and he couldn't get comfortable. He almost wished Robin hadn't made him get checked over, but anything that required this many stitches probably would've killed him if he hadn't. At least that's what Nancy said when he complained to her about it.

But now, Steve couldn't sleep, and sleep was apparently very important for healing.

The alarm clock next to his bed said 2:07 am, so calling someone was out. Going somewhere was also out, unless he wanted to go to the 24 hour diner alone.

Fresh air sounded good until he realized he'd have to either go for a walk in the middle of the night alone or sit by the pool alone.

He didn't want to be alone.

His phone started to ring just when he was considering taking a shower out of boredom.

"Harrington residence, this is Steve."

"So formal for two in the morning, Stevie," Eddie's laugh rang through the line and Steve couldn't help smiling. Something about Eddie's energy was contagious, a beacon of light when all he had was the darkness of his room.

"Didn't know if it was an international business partner for my parents. Happens sometimes when they forget time zones." Steve moved to the edge of his bed so the cord didn't have to stretch as far. "What are you doing up?"

"Had a dream about being eaten alive again. This time they managed to eat both of my nipples." Eddie scoffed. "Isn't one enough?"

Steve chuckled. "And you can't go back to sleep because you're scared they'll come take your other nipple?"

"It's a genuine concern, Steve! I have big dreams of piercing this thing and if they take it from me, what do I have left?"

"I think you'd probably just find something else to pierce," Steve shook thoughts of what that might be out of his head before they could take over. "So you can't sleep. You thought you'd call and wake me up to suffer with you?"

Eddie was silent for a moment before responding. "Did I wake you up?"

"No," Steve said quickly, not wanting Eddie to feel bad. "I was awake."

"Nightmare?"

"No, stitches are bothering me."

"You wanna come over? I found my hidden stash. Might help with the stitches," Eddie offered.

Steve probably shouldn't. He was on some pain meds already and if he got too fucked up, he'd probably cry. That's what happened last time he had some of whatever Eddie was selling.

"I'll come over, but probably shouldn't have anything. Robin would kill me if I end up in the hospital," Steve gave a half-truth.

"Yeah, she's terrifying. I'll leave the door unlocked."

Before Steve could tell him that was a bad idea, he hung up.

********

When Steve got to Eddie's, he let out the breath he'd been holding the entire drive. Eddie was sitting on the porch, alone, his guitar by his side.

Maybe he'd been playing already, or maybe he planned to play to help distract Steve from the way his skin felt like it was too much.

He got out of the car and waved when Eddie looked over at him with a smile.

"Didn't think you'd get here so quick," Eddie didn't bother standing up, Steve just knew to go sit by him.

But the steps on the Munson's porch were rickety at best, "temporary" according to the government officials who had stuck them here because they didn't think it was worth putting them in a home across town, and Steve's eyes hadn't quite adjusted to the dull glow of the light by the front door. He missed the top step and immediately fell, barely catching himself on the wood of the porch.

Eddie was helping him up immediately, doing his best not to make his own injuries worse.

"Shit, you okay? Wayne tried fixing it, but it just keeps getting loose."

Steve felt a stinging pain on his side, and when his hand grazed over the worst of his bites, he felt something warm and wet on his fingers.

"Shit," without looking, he knew he'd torn his stitches. "Eddie, I need a towel or something."

"Shit, that's a lot of blood. That's a lot of blood. It shouldn't be that much, right? Like even tearing your stitches, it shouldn't be-"

"Eddie." Steve poked his arm, stayed as calm as he could. He bled easy, so sometimes even small things looked worse than they were. "Towel."

"Right, yeah. Should you come with me?" Eddie shook his head. "I mean can you move? Should you stay here?"

"I'll sit here until I have a towel. Don't wanna get blood on the carpet."

"Got it."

Eddie still seemed unsure about leaving him, but must have noticed how much blood was soaking through Steve's shirt and rushed inside. He was back in less than a minute, a black towel in his hand.

"It's clean. It's the one I usually use for my hair, but I didn't get to fold it from the dryer yet. Um, just put pressure on it."

Steve knew what to do, was used to putting pressure on wounds, but appreciated Eddie trying to triage it anyway.

"You got a needle and thread, right?" Steve asked once he took his shirt off and put pressure on the bite. It was already bleeding much less, a positive sign that maybe it wouldn't be too bad.

"I mean, I do. I don't have medical tools that have been sanitized properly."

"You have water to boil and vodka?"

"Steve. I'm not fucking performing a medical procedure on your stomach," Eddie shook his head. "Do you have a death wish or something?"

"I trust you."

The words hung heavy between them, despite the fact it wasn't exactly news to either of them. They'd been through it all together, why wouldn't he trust him?

"Okay, let's get inside and I'll get everything ready."

Getting inside was easier said than done. The bleeding had mostly stopped, but the pain had really started to set in and every breath felt like knives stabbing into him.

"Deep breath, Stevie," Eddie said as he sat him down on the couch and helped him lay back. "I'll get you something for the pain."

"Something" was an edible, and Eddie seemed hesitant to give it to him, but all reservations Steve previously had went out the window as he felt his hands shaking from the pain.

Eddie prepared everything while the edible kicked in, checking in with Steve every few minutes to make sure he hadn't passed out or started bleeding again.

When the room started to feel blurry and his head felt light, Steve smiled over at Eddie, who looked nervous.

"Ready for your magic hands," Steve wiggled his brows.

Eddie made a strangled sound before leaning over the wound and wiping some of the blood away gently so he could see where to stitch him back up.

He worked as quickly as possible, humming softly to distract himself and Steve from what was happening.

Steve was high.

He was high and he was feeling good despite the needle in his skin.

He drifted for a bit, couldn't be sure how long, but eventually, Eddie was touching his cheek and making him open his eyes.

"Think you should stand up so I can wrap a bandage on it. Then you can try to shower off some of the blood if you want. Wayne got one of those removable showerheads. Feels fancy," Eddie said as he moved the hair off of Steve's face.

"Help?" Steve managed to ask.

"Yeah, I can help you with the wrap and start the shower for you," Eddie nodded.

"In the shower?" Steve asked.

Eddie paused. "I can keep us dressed?"

"But." Steve huffed. "Blood."

Eddie couldn't help but laugh at his confusion, Steve's lips pouting out and his eyes squinting. "Okay, okay. If you're okay with it, I'm okay with it. You're high as shit, man."

"I'm standing right on the ground," Steve waved his arms around him. "Or is the ground standing on me but the other way?"

"God, this is the best. Okay, let's go."

"Wait!" Steve grabbed Eddie's arms. "You should know something."

Eddie raised his brows in question. "Go on."

"I'm very in love with you. And also kinda hard."

Eddie blinked, not processing. Now he felt high.

"Uh. What?"

"I have an erection." Steve made a disgusted face. "Hate that word. Sounds so middle school sex ed."

"It is." Eddie shook his head. "I guess I meant more like, how and why and what the hell do you mean by it."

Steve giggled. "I said you had magic hands and I was right."

"Dude, I was literally giving you stitches. I am failing to see why that would make you hard."

"It's cuz you're so gentle and your tongue sticks out when you're trying to focus. And also I started thinking about what you'd do if I couldn't move," Steve sighed dreamily. "You have handcuffs."

"Okay. Let's pause." Eddie let out a small hysterical laugh. "You want me to help you in the shower because you love me? Do you even need help?"

"Probably. But I also want help. And also you're a helper for me."

"What does that even mean? Where's Robin when you need her to decode what the hell you're talking about?"

"You're a helper for me! Because you help me be better about asking for help! And then you help!"

"Okay, that's. Good. I'm still not sure what's happening."

"You're gonna help me shower. I'm gonna try very hard not to come. We sleep?" Steve looked around Eddie out the window, like he was checking if it was still night time. "And then in the morning I wake up and get yelled at by Robin."

"Why would she-"

"The stitches. And the telling you I love you thing. She's gonna be real mad about that."

"Why?" Eddie felt like he was losing it. What was even happening anymore? How had he completely lost control of the night?

"She wanted to help me do a speech thing."

This was just getting more wild.

Steve needed a shower, and he needed sleep. Eddie needed a minute to gather his own thoughts.

"Shower. Sleep. Talk in the morning." Eddie raised his hand to cup Steve's neck. "Robin murders you after we talk."

"Deal." Steve's face sank, but he quickly perked back up. "But shower?"

"Yes, shower. Go, horndog."

Steve laughed as he half-limped to the bathroom, clearly feeling some pain even with the drugs in his system. Eddie followed and resisted touching Steve as much as possible.

Which ended up being about two minutes.

[morganski-19]

Chills Right to the Marrow Part 21

part 1, prev part

It’s like Eddie never was in the coma at all. Or injured. Or anything. He’s right back to where he was four weeks ago. Before the upside down came and ripped him from the world he knew. Traumatized him beyond relief and changed his life forever. Not just in the sense that he’ll jump whenever the lights flicker and have nightmares like the rest of them. In the sense that his body is permanently damaged because of these events.

Something Dustin sometimes forgets has happened at all. He forgets that not everyone can look at themselves in the mirror and see growth in the way that it should happen. See the way their body was always going to change. How unaffected the outside was compared to the inside.

Will’s constantly in pain from basically being burned inside out. And his immune system is fucked from how long he spent in the upside down. Steve’s head damage has only increased since the fight with Billy at the Byers’ house. And Dustin pretty sure his nose was broken somewhere along the line and didn’t set right. He’s not convinced that anyone’s supposed to snore that loud.

And then there’s all of the scars. Max’s blindness and nerve damage. Maybe Eddie’s nerve damage. It’s all so permanent.

There’s this feeling after everything gets cleaned up that everything’s going to be ok. Mainly because the government makes them all sign NDA’s stronger than prison bars to ensure they never talk about it again. And when it’s not talked about, it’s forgotten.

At least Dustin forgets.

He forgets for a brief moment in time. Peacefully goes about his life like he’s a normal kid. Like there are monsters that haunt his mind. Like physical, real monsters, and not just the metaphorical ones. Or maybe they are metaphorical, at this point. He truly doesn’t know. That’s the worst part of any of this. There’s no guarantee that this time is the last time.

It wasn’t the last time when El disappeared with the demogorgon. It wasn’t the last time when she closed the gate. It wasn’t the last time when Hopper died with the mall. And it might not be the last time now.

Dustin wants it to be the last time. Wants it to be the last time he’s glued to a hospital chair. Wants to never see his friend do better and wonder if it’s all a front. Wonder if this is all because Dustin is here, and he’s being protected from the truth. The truth that everything is darker than it seems, but they’re too afraid to show him the dark.

Dustin’s not afraid of the dark, he doesn’t need to be  kept in the light.

“This hospital food is shit,” Eddie says, fully without deep breaths in between. Gagging while eating some sort of mushy oatmeal. Ignoring the way his hand shakes while lifting the spoon to his mouth.

But still, Dustin laughs. Because he’s eating food that’s not in a tube. And talking like he did before it all. And if he could, probably would hop right out of the hospital bed to ramble and pace back and forth in his hospital room.

“I wouldn’t even call that food,” Dustin jokes. “It’s barely oatmeal.”

“Hence, why it is shit.”

Dustin would normally say something about using the word hence. How formal and proper and unnecessary it is. But he remembered the word at all, that’s better than last week. That’s better than yesterday. It’s something.

Steve knocks on the door while he enters. Smiling a little brighter when he realizes that Eddie’s awake. Functioning more than he has in the past few weeks. The color returned to his face just enough to remind them all that he’s actually alive.

“Harrington,” Eddie announces when Steve enters. “How are you doing?”

“Pretty good,” he shrugs. Crossing his arms, like he’s holding something back. “Is that real food?”

“Barely.” Eddie picks up the spoon again, it still shaking in the air. He lets the mush drop back into the bowl, it basically sliding off the spoon. “I’m still not convinced it’s actually oatmeal.”

Steve snorts, reaching over to nudge Dustin’s shoulder. “You ready to go?”

Dustin zips up his bag. “Yeah. Sorry, Eddie, I wish I could stay longer but I have a project due.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Really choosing homework over spending time with me, Henderson. You’re such a good friend.”

“Oh, shut up,” Dustin tries to retort. Ending up smiling. Feeling like the two of them never left, never changed. Like what happened never did.

Dustin’s not sure if that’s a good thing.

He stands up from his chair, slipping on his backpack and waiting for Eddie to say anything else. Remind him that he isn’t going crazy and that the memories didn’t fade. That the amnesia has actually faded. Eddie remembers Steve, remembers that he he’s different from high school. So, he remembers something.  

“See you later, man,” Steve waves to Eddie. “Glad to see you doing better.”

The door closes behind them and Eddie’s left alone. Dustin wonders if that’s when the mask slips, like Max’s. If he goes back to being miserable and in pain. Let’s the pain show and gets frustrated with how his hand shakes. Gets exhausted by lifting something less than a pound. Wonders if life will ever go back to the way things will be.

That’s all Dustin can think about. Every time he leaves the hospital, in the secrecy of night. Wonders how he could have even pretended that life was normal after everything. If anything could be normal again.

“You’re being quieter than normal,” Steve comments. The radio playing softly in the background.

“I’m just thinking, that’s all. How’s your head?” he asks, diverting the question Steve is undoubtably going to ask.

Steve huffs. “Worse than it has been in a while. I could barely get out of bed yesterday. If I miss one more shift, I swear Keith’s going to fire me.”

“Yeah, fire one of the two employees he has after everyone skipped town. That would be a great decision.” Dustin pauses. “Is the new medication helping, though? At least a little bit.”

“It’s better than it has been, so that’s something. I think it’s just because of the new injuries, it’ll mellow out with time.”

There are days where Steve’s normal, like this, and there are days where he looks drained. Where he’s popping pain pills every few hours and wearing sunglasses to try and help. And then there are the days where Dustin doesn’t see Steve at all. Only hears about it from Robin, who goes to check on him when he gets this bad. Makes sure that he’s staying hydrated and tries to get him to eat something.

“How’s Eddie?” Steve asks, filling the silence again. “He looked like himself again.”

That was part of the problem. Dustin was expecting him to be more changed, more effected. And he was, until he wasn’t. “Yeah, he does.”

Steve pulls to a stop in front of Dustin’s house. “And that’s bothering you?”

“I just don’t want him to think he has to hide the pain from me.”

“It might just not be for you,” Steve says with a knowing expression. “Sometimes, when the right people are around, it’s easier to forget the pain. Makes it easier to live through. Just because he’s not being vocal about it all the time, doesn’t mean it’s not happening.”

“But isn’t that bad? He shouldn’t hide it from us, that’s not healthy.”

Steve shakes his head. “It’s not. If it persists, then we step in and make sure he’s ok. But he still might not remember everything or doesn’t want to. Let him sit with the fact that he lived, then we can work with all the other shit that comes with that.”

“Ok,” Dustin whispers. Suddenly hit by the fact that Steve knows what he’s talking about a little too well. Like he’s been through it all before.

And he has. More times than Dustin’s realized. Finally understanding the full of all they’ve been through together. The seriousness of it all. The things that have been kept from him for years, months, days. The pain that he’s been shielded from all this time.

Next part

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[extremely-judgemental]

Long Post

Rhysand isn’t that great of a High Lord as praised in the books and the Inner Circle’s ‘dreamers’ narrative is just laughable.

SJM loves him so much that she can't go a page without preaching how great he is. But, if we tally his acts against his reasons, everything Rhysand does is pointless and only a show.

Rhysand’s father is murdered around the time of the first war, which implies Rhysand has been the High Lord of Night for over 500 years. Once he ascends the throne, he forms Inner Circle—his personal court with his trusted allies. His inherited Illyrian strength combined with the High Lord’s powers make him almost invincible. Even before, he’s so powerful that his father fears he will usurp him and so keeps him separated from his friends. When Amarantha drains the powers of every High Lord, Rhysand is still left with more than enough to crush someone’s mind with a thought and manipulate Amarantha in her bed. During the war with Hybern, he destroys a whole fleet of enemy forces with a flick of his finger. Great, but what else has he done with this so-called power?

The only city Inner Circle cares about. When Velaris is introduced and the way Rhysand talks of it, I genuinely believed he and Inner Circle built it themselves. But it is a brainchild of his unnamed ancestor who was the OG dreamer. He used his blood to cast the wards around the city that hasn’t been breached in 5000 years.

When Amarantha enslaves the High Lords, Rhysand reinforces this shield over Velaris with his lingering powers. He admits it’s the only way to keep his friends within the city’s protection as long as Amarantha ruled. He also erases the minds of his people Under the Mountain, mind you they are from the Court of Nightmares since he doesn’t trust Amarantha enough to bring Inner Circle with him. Considering Velaris is a secret even from his subjects in Hewn City, it’s as pointless to massacre his people to ensure its safety as casting that additional ward. Yet, the most reckless decision is to bind his disobedient soldiers to it, trusting his citizens’ safety on their judgement which each one of them proved questionable time and time again.

Ignoring that, Rhysand protects his friends—who are his subjects—and his city which is his job, which is no different from what the other High Lords did. Moreover, if he had enough power, would he have extended this precaution to Hewn City or Illyria? Velaris is the only city he’s worried about restoring after returning from Under the Mountain and it has been flourishing long before he was born. Rhysand inherits a stable, protected city and maintains it (with Morrigan) which isn’t much of a feat.

Hewn City—the sacrificial lamb. Court of Nightmares is the face of Night and is dragged into politics and scheming and warring. They are the evil subjects of Rhysand’s ‘evil’ rule. Given it’s the role the people in Hewn City are expected to play, it’s diabolical to expect them to live or behave differently. Rhysand still holds ultimate influence over Keir (who governs the city) as a High Lord, yet after rescuing Morrigan, the Inner Circle do nothing to prevent the same fate to another woman in the city, instead they reaffirm their beliefs are justified and true. If Morrigan is a gem of a person in the worst place possible, she can’t be the only exception. Are the women rescued only after they are brutalised, if they are at all? What about the people who don’t accept Hewn City’s cruel ways, but are trapped under the mountain or don’t want to abandon their homes or families? The only safe place in Night where people can be themselves and live a free life is a secret from Hewn City too. For 500 years, Rhysand makes no attempt to improve the city in fear of Keir rebelling against him and losing the precious Darkbringers. And Morrigan gladly turns her back on her women as it’s easy to label everyone ‘bad’ and live in ignorance.

Beyond that, Rhysand abandons his duties to Hewn City. It’s pointed out he rarely visits the Court of Nightmares—not even Hewn—only for appearances, while Keir is the one governing the city. On the first visit back to his court after Amarantha’s reign, Rhysand puts on a sex show in front of his subjects, steals from them and leaves never bothering about their state in the last fifty years. Unless he’s plotting or has a need, he doesn’t acknowledge its existence.

During the war, Keir requests to free his people out of the mountain in exchange for the Darkbringers’ support. Without giving access to Velaris, Rhysand could have allowed settlement anywhere on the lands, instead he outright denies it. He also instructs Velaris to discriminate against every visiting Hewn citizen which is hypocritical of a man who dreams of peace. But what’s truly concerning is making these decisions without consulting Morrigan. Not only is it a betrayal of her trust as a friend, but highly disrespectful to his third-in-command who has been running the cities for centuries.

While giving Morrigan reins over Hewn is meant to be an empowering move, it’s as lethargic as the above. She struggles to stand in the same room as her father or Eris even in the company of others without having a traumatic flashback. If not for personal reasons that Rhysand doesn’t interfere, he should have as a ruler. It’s almost naive to expect her to work for the welfare of the people she’s heavily biased against because of her trauma.

The fodder of Night Court. Illyrians exist to war for Rhysand and to scare his enemies away. If Morrigan is for Hewn, Cassian is for lllyria. And the people suffer the same—trapped in mountain camps, women mutilated, and children abused. Rhysand passes a law to ban wing-clipping but doesn’t enforce it for fear of rebellion and losing his armies. When the bands side with Amarantha for survival as Inner Circle abandoned them, he slaughters them for treason without hesitation. And the female fight club was an afterthought leading to Valkyries’ arc which doesn’t stand as Rhysand or Cassian’s true motives to improve their court.

Dreamer of peace who never accepts peace. After Amarantha’s fall, there are enough possibilities for Night to build better relationships with other courts. Considering three new High Lords were Crowned Under the Mountain and they watched Rhysand fight for them in the end, it was a perfect opportunity to extend his support in rebuilding their courts or offer some truce of goodwill. Instead, he tricks the one High Lord who offers him the benefit of the doubt and friendship. Rhysand is a Daemati who uses his powers as he pleases and he could have confirmed Summer’s true intentions even if he suspects the dreams Tarquin openly shares. Also, he refuses to hold Feyre accountable or apologise for the attack on Summer. He skirts around with a ‘She’s a High Lady’ remark when she falls under his jurisdiction and the accusations are valid.

Spring is Night’s eternal enemy as is Autumn, constantly vilified for the crimes committed by anyone but the respective High Lords or their people. Winter is wary of Night and Rhysand since the massacre of their children. The only two courts that are in a lukewarm alliance with Night are Day and Dawn.

Betraying other courts before Hybern’s invasion. It’s understandable why Rhysand and Inner Circle make a move for the Cauldron. But, Night isn’t the only target of Hybern. Rhysand doesn’t use his Daemati powers here as well to test which High Lord is his potential ally and instead plays a hero. He could have warned the other courts of the threat—as it isn’t far-fetched since Amarantha was Hybern’s soldier and other High Lords might be inclined to listen to his reasoning—at least after they acquire the Book of Breathings and have a plan in place. He also doesn’t do so after their plan fails and Hybern begins his invasion with Spring.

A bystander in Feyre’s vengeance. The downfall of Spring is the biggest sign of how terrible a High Lord Rhysand is. Feyre is emotional (and delusional) and comparatively a child who doesn’t contemplate the political implications of her actions. And Rhysand, the cunning mastermind of the series, doesn’t seem to care about them either with a war at their door. Feyre blocks their bond during most of her stay in Spring, yet her plans aren’t that surprising and Rhysand never warns her when she shares the little details of her acts. In fact, he actively enjoys and encourages her manipulations. As the High Lord of Night, Rhysand has a duty to Prythian by extension and he let Feyre destroy an entire court to punish one man, leaving the Wall and the neighbouring courts defenceless against Hybern.

Finally, the useless ‘bad guy’ act. His ancestors needed this role to control Hewn City. If Rhysand was an ordinary half-fae who ascended to a High Lord position, it explains why he needs this mask to ascertain his power and ruthlessness. But his Illyrian strength makes him unstoppable. He has two of the strongest Illyrian warriors by his side, Morrigan is said to be one of the most powerful fae, and Amren is an ancient fearsome creature. (Added to this list are Feyre—the miracle baby of High Lords’ powers, Nesta—with her power of death, and owner of Old and Made troves, and Elain is a seer.) Basically, Inner Circle is a superhero squad of all courts that everyone is afraid to challenge. Even if he chooses this because it’s the only path for him, there are things he does that no one pretending to be evil might do (ahem ahem, what he does to Feyre Under the Mountain).

The main flaw with the ‘dreamers’ narrative is that Inner Circle has existed for five centuries but they have nothing to show for it. Their solution is to isolate the problem and live happily where they aren’t reminded of their failures. If they had started reformations early on, there should have been some progress over the centuries, but they abandoned any notion of it because change takes time. 500 years is still a long time for a bunch of nearly-immortals who did nothing but ‘dream’. And what Rhysand does is just his job, most of the time, terribly. Other than protecting what is already protected and waging wars, his actions aren’t extraordinary enough to label him the best, the just or the most powerful High Lord to ever exist.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

It’s been on my mind for a while: your double trouble AU, does each konig know that the other is his younger/older version of himself? Or are they two separate different people to each other? A metaphysical question lol and I can’t get it out of my head

Ahaha it’s a good question!

Yes they are very aware of each other being a different version of the same person ^^ I don’t know how it came to be that there are 2 Königs terrorizing the world, perhaps it was an unofficial government experiment with cloning or some distortion in the space-time continuum like @gremlingottoosilly suggested, I don’t care if there were aliens involved – they’re here and in love with the same woman!

But…

What I’m curious about is how did reader and Colonel!König meet the younger version (since they’re both happily married when young recruit comes around)? Maybe reader expressed her wishes to spice things up with some FMM action one day. And because Colonel!König is lenient and gentle with her and only her – ok let’s face it, he can’t deny anything from her – he kisses her forehead gently, pulls her into his lap, asks, why don’t they go out tonight and choose a victim for her then? :)

Cue to a few hours in at the local bar, Colonel is beginning to think this was a bad idea. His wife is sitting on his lap, trying to get a view of the dance floor filled with people. Mostly drunk, desperate men far younger than him; Colonel could roll his eyes – does she really want some hormone-driven asshole to give her a sloppy, low effort ride? These boys barely have hair growing on their balls yet…

Colonel just wants to go home and bully his sweet wife for hours with some expert tonguework and is just about to offer to take her home when she spots a young man. Immediately shooting up with curiosity, her eyes are shining when she finally sees something that she really likes.

“I want that one,” she says like she’s gotten used to getting anything she wants, even if it’s a person ‐ and since we’re talking about young, pussy-deprived men here, it shouldn’t be a problem to lure someone special into her arms. She could very well go and boop anyone's nose here and they would follow her home like a dog. Even if for some, the prospect of sharing her with a big, older hound might be a bit off putting…

Colonel!König, however, relieved to see that she finally picked her choice so that they can proceed to the awkward proposal, grows pale when he sees who she’s pointing at.

“Can you believe our luck? He looks exactly like you when you were young!”

She’s so excited that she’s giggling, trying to cover her mouth like she sometimes does when she’s feeling shy.

Just imagine the Colonel’s inner turmoil when he immediately recognizes his younger self, the one he thought was dead, now alive before his eyes and looking like a sorry idiot, trying to harass some women and down beers like water.

He doesn’t only look like him, he is him. Young and rough and desperate, a bullied kid who turned into a bully himself when he grew up. Tall and lean and almost succeeding in feigning self-confidence, his younger version looks like the worst kind of tortured fucker who used to hang around on 4chan and blame women for not giving him pussy...

Before he can prevent it, his wife is gone from his lap. Approaching that silly idiot while unsuspecting, tipsy and sweet – fuck, the young man answers her flirty smile with a flash of a vicious grin...

This will be a nightmare.

[snowywolf1005]

ONE PIECE X CHIMERA READER

-Tittle-

"The truth"

In the battle of Onigashima. You transform the original chimera form, and then the evil scientist(Dr. Howl) gets your blood in the bottle and drink.

Dr. Howl transforms a gaint original chimera with red eyes, skin of black, a head of male lion. You attacked him and fell to the hole that law made while battling with big mom.

Dr. Howl fell to the lava, and you survived when kaido was defeated. The people started looking for you, even the Luffy crew, law crew, kidd crew, and (C/N).

Until they found your chimera form laying on the ground, not breathing. But your human body is inside the chimera body like Attack on Titan where people transform into titan and their body is inside.

Zoro grabbed his sword and cut your stomach, but medium. (C/N) decided to go in and find an organs that might be your body inside once she took it out, zoro cuts the organ.

But nothing, then (C/N), realize something, something that is terrible, and it's her worst nightmare. She went inside your body again and grabbed another organs.

She asked zoro to cut, and he did.

"What is this?!" Said Nami, then (C/N)

Then, a huge clump of hair bones, "did (Y/N) ate somebody?" Said Law with surprise look. "Animals that swallow their prey in whole spits out the indigestible parts at once. However, (Y/N) use it to fuel for her fire breath instead," said (C/N).

Then (C/N) found something surprisely, she put her hand inside the clump, everyone was gross out. (C/N) pull a hair, "a strand of hair! could it be..." Said yamato.

"Let's sort through it. We might find human bones." Said (C/N), everyone got some buckets and cleaned the bloody bones. Then Robin saw bloody pictures that reminded her something.

Then it hits her, "Hey, isn't that..." Robin held the picture in front of everyone. Luffy remembers the picture, and he snatches the picture. "Hey! (C/N) Look! This picture!" When luffy was about to say something.

Everyone stomach dropped when (C/N) held a skull and said something that made everyone jolt. "(Y... (Y/N)"

"No.." said momo, "(Y/N)" saying that name makes everyone just drop. Some people cried, some people looked away, and some people didn't want to look away.

But (C/N) has a plan. She got something out of her bag, a book (like thistle book from delicious in dungeon). "(C/N), what are you doing?" Ask Law, "I know a spell that brings (Y/N) back to life." She said.

Everyone looks at (C/N) has she flip the page. "What are you talking about?" Said jinbe.

"The greater the damage one's flesh, the more likely their soul is to depart. The main reason some resurrection fails is the soul's departure or the incomplete restoration of the body." She says.

"So, what do we do?"

"Bring a revivifer and resurrect her right here. But it requires twice the calories of the damaged parts to restore her. They'll need to bring a substantial amount of fresh blood and flesh along."

"But they'll rot on their way here..." But Kidd was cut off by (C/N), "I done this before, so I'll do it again." She said, "(C/N), what do you mean?" Luffy asks.

"I'll explain later, but we have an abundance of fresh blood and flesh right here." (C/N) points the chimera corps. Everyone understands now what she is about to do.

"Are you going to resurrect her? Using chimera flesh?" Chopper asks, "I've been silent about it because I didn't want to alarm you. But I specialize in the study of ancient magic that's forbidden now."

"I think using that is the only way we can bring her back." Robin wide eye realizing of what (C/N) is talking about. "Black magic? (C/N), you said that magic is dangerous if the government knows about this. Who knows what gonna happen!" Said Robin

"I know, but it way to bring my cousin back." She said, "Okay." Everyone look at luffy, "bring (Y/N) back, " he said. (C/N) nodded. She grabbed a knife and cut her hand.

(C/N) grabbed her staff and drew a mark on the ground, drew a circle of (Y/N) skeleton and the chimera corps. (She also stacks (Y/N) body skeleton to place)

After she had done, she placed her staff and said the black magic spell. "O Pillitsham. O Villaru. Casuzameo Rotokt Artumcuks."

Then everyone started to hear some whisper, making them creepy out about it.

"O Kunquikeo. Eoktum Kome. Tumao Elm Finktow Kenesfo. Aoewauk Aentujon. Tumao Elm Finktow Kenesfo."

The chimera corps blood observe (Y/N) bones and begins to form her body. "Aoewauk Aentujon..." Then (C/N) faint, "(C/N)!" Said Franky, chopper came up to (C/N) and check on her. "Don't worry, she just fainted," he said.

Law look at (Y/N) body that cover of blood, "did it work?" He said, luffy came up to (Y/N), kneel down. "(Y/N)?" Then (Y/N) eyes open, then cough, "(Y/N)!" Luffy screamed.

"Her air passage is blocked with blood." Said Chooper, "try to stay calm and spit it out." He said. (Y/N) throws up with blood, giving her a chance to breathe.

(Y/N) look at luffy and everyone else, "Guys..." She said, luffy hug her so as everyone else. Nami cried so as the others.

"Wow, you have feet now!" Luffy shouts, it's seems you know a human body, but still you can transform a chimera but half body.

Later...

"Okay, (C/N). Tells us what happened." Said Law, with luffy, kidd, and the other crews. (C/N) let out of the sigh. "Okay, I'll tell you what happens."

It was a long time ago, when (C/N) and (Y/N) was little, they love magic. (Y/N) want to be the best wizards of all. They're at the library of (C/N) store.

They're playing hide and seek. Later, when (C/N) was hiding, a book hit her on the head.

(C/N) see a book with one eye with feathers on it. She doesn't know what it is, so she took it to show (Y/N) the book. Then, (C/N) and (Y/N) were at the forest, looking for items to make spells to study.

They want to learn spell, so they can go on an adventure, but a chimera appears out of nowhere and started to attack them.

(Y/N) push (C/N) away before the chimera eats her, but chimera caught (Y/N) and ate her alive. (C/N) was horror and frustrated that he grabbed the book that she had just found.

And use the spell, then kill the chimera. Then (C/N) passed out, and when she woke up. Then she realized what had just happened. She ran up to chimera belly and cuts open with the small knife.

(C/N) search (Y/N), then found her but realized she was already dead. (C/N) flip the page of the book, searching any spell to bring her back.

Then (C/N) found the spell to bring (Y/N) to normal, she cas the spell, she read very close so she won't mess up.

Finally, (C/N) cast the spell by using chimera corps as (Y/N) corps body. When she finished it, something went wrong.

(Y/N) has the chimera lower body. When everyone realizes what just happened, the news spreads, and the government wanna lay hand on chimera (Y/N) and the black magic book.

They ordered the marine to capture them and bring to them, they did. But (C/N) use the spell to teleport her and (Y/N) somewhere else.

And started their own journey.

[qqueenofhades]

-Quickly skitters into the inbox, with a boom box and an increasingly bass boosted version-

🎶I PUT MY HANDS UP THEY’RE PLAYING MY SONG THE BUTTERFLIES FLY AWAY-🎶

- Party In The USA anon, on the recent glorious news

Look. LOOK. I know we've had technically bigger fish, but the Georgia case is a Big Fucking Deal. Because:

It is a MAJOR indictment both in terms of scope and seriousness of charges. Not just Trump, but *eighteen* of his allies and cronies got charged with RICO (anti-racketeering, often used against mob bosses) felonies, including Rudy Giuliani (I repeat, HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA), Jeff Clark, Mark Meadows, and other high-profile Trumpworld enablers

No Lindsey Graham (at least yet) but I guess we can't have everything

It encompasses both in Georgia and other states where Trump illegally tried to alter election results (Michigan, Arizona, and Pennsylvania), as those activities related to a conspiracy centered on Georgia/Fulton County

This is the big whopper: TRUMP CANNOT CANCEL THIS INVESTIGATION EVEN IF HE GETS RE-ELECTED. He can shut down the federal Special Counsel investigations run through the DoJ, but this? Bupkis. And Georgia governor Brian Kemp, another of the Republicans who dutifully continues to defend Trump even as Trump slanders him up and down, CAN'T PARDON HIM.

That drives the Republicans NUTS. So nuts that they were, you guessed it, already on Faux News whining about how they should make Georgia change that law.

Boo-fucking-hoo, you absolute fucking wankers.

Also: we need to remember that Trump rose to political prominence by being wildly racist and xenophobic about America's first Black president. He has coddled and exalted white supremacists and white supremacist rhetoric at every turn, it has been the central defining feature of his campaign, and his election subversion efforts were chiefly aimed at canceling the votes of heavily Black cities (Atlanta, Philly, Detroit, etc.)

Trump also won in 2016 thanks to the Electoral College, itself designed as an element of structural racism, by defeating probably the most qualified and beyond any doubt most historic candidate there has ever been, after it was revealed that he was a serial sexual assaulter and after he screamed for months about LOCK HER UP (every Republican accusation is a confession, etc)

All that said, with Trump's vile, derogatory bile spewed at everyone, but especially a) Black people, b) women, and c) powerful Black women, it is a Big Fucking Deal that a powerful Black woman, aka his worst nightmare, pulled this trigger on him.

Don't get me wrong. I deeply appreciate me some Jack Smith. But he is also a white male special counsel appointed by the Department of Justice, and who used to work for the Hague prosecuting war crimes (true story). It's in his brief to do this.

Fani Willis is a county district attorney AND a Black woman, as Trump's nonstop shitgibbering on Truth Social just can't help himself from pointing out. This kind of sprawling, country-wide investigation against a wildly corrupt ex-president and his cohort of equally corrupt cronies is not something she is, in the normal course of things, ever expected to do, but she did it.

NINETEEN DEFENDANTS, Y'ALL. Including Trump. On 41 different charges. That's a hell of an indictment, and she knows it puts a target on her back, while (as noted) she doesn't have the resources and protections of the federal government/DOJ to do it.

Let's hear it for Fani Willis (and Judge Chutkan, who informed Trump the other day the more he runs his mouth, the faster she will proceed to trial) y'all.

Black Women Get Shit Done.

[treviso-nights]

how art thou fallen from heaven - solrook / chapter 2

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fic summary: when rook first ends up in the regret-prison with solas after a nightmare, he taunts her, and she responds in kind. one way or another, solas is going to realize: varric chose rook to stop him for a reason. what he isn't prepared for is how his enemy makes him feel. has the dread wolf finally found someone to abandon his plight for? (spoiler alert: the answer is no.) a true enemies to lovers tale. word count: 2.2k chapter summary: rook and solas have another verbal sparring match. however, when solas offers unexpected guidance, rook finally realizes there very well may be someone worth listening to underneath the dread wolf's mask. read chapter 1 read on AO3

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

The second time Rook has the nightmare, Solas is there, waiting in his prison as usual.

Exhales rip through her like a whirlwind, and Rook, far more aware of his presence this time, swallows the rest of it down, where it can dissemble and die in her chest like the nonsense it is.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Rook gripes, tearing a hand through her long, loose curls. The lilac in them, so muted by the austerity of the prison’s atmosphere, resembles a curtain of bloodless vines weaving together and then apart again, dancing violently where her fingertips cleave through the waves. 

Solas gazes at her impassively, both hands already pressed behind his back. “Hello to you, too.”

“Creators,” she chokes out, laughing. “At this point, I should just move in with you.”

Solas ignores her, eyes tracking the shakiness of her next inhale, the sweat coating her neck and collar bones. “I take it you had another nightmare? Based on the terror I sensed from our magical bond, that is.”

As her breaths slow to a normal cadence, Rook takes the moment to observe the spatial rift in between her and the Dread Wolf. She isn’t certain if the shadows near the bottom are a mirage or the tangible outline of bedrock—or some other rubble. According to Neve, Bellara, and Emmrich, rules governing physicality within the Fade are malleable at best and downright malicious at worst. Depending on who the Fade is mirroring. 

Still. The idea is largely tempting.

“If I throw myself into that chasm, will it spirit me away from you again?” she asks, cocking her head to the side. “No pun intended, naturally.”

There is the distinct sensation that the chasm below smiles along with Solas, the quiet hunger in the gesture a small dart to the belly. “It’s hard to say,” he replies. “It’s more likely that you would awake in the Lighthouse, your conscious mind shattered from the death it would face here.”

Well, damn.

“By all means, jump,” he adds, motioning to the crevasse. And though the lilt in his voice remains steady and musical, the darkness of the words permeates the air around her. 

“Creators, I might. If only to escape the depths of your endless superiority. Who knows? It might be contagious, like a virus. Or a fever. Or flesh-eating necrosis.”

The subsequent scrunch of his nose tips Rook off—she annoys him. Good! The realization makes her smile, lips pulling up at the corners. No teeth. Yet. 

The next exhale from Solas is a sigh, and for the first time since their unfortunate introduction, he folds his arms across his chest. 

A typically defensive signal.

Now, there’s a bit of honesty. 

“You’re quite… unpleasant, aren’t you?” he chides.

Years of Crow training prompts Rook to further scrutinize every shift in posture, expression, and tone of voice. There might be a chasm separating them from each other, but she still doesn’t know if Solas is able to cast magic in this prison. Asking him about it would only give him leverage—the knowledge that she remains perfectly ready to either flee or fight.

For now, it seems that they continue to be at an impasse.

“I’m an extremely pleasant person!” she chirps back, mirroring his posture. A mild breeze scatters her hair about her face. “In fact, I even started a book club at the Lighthouse.”

At this, Solas quirks an eyebrow, the violet in his gaze glinting. “And I’m supposed to believe that?”

She can’t help but smile again. Usually, Rook is a well-practiced liar, but there’s something about Solas that supersedes this instinct to deceive. Instead, Rook finds that she wants to mock him. Incessantly. Forever, if she can. 

“You’re right,” Rook admits. “I didn’t start the club. Bellara, our eluvian expert, did. But I attend all of the meetings, so… close enough, right?”

The prison’s subsequent silence punctuates Solas’s disapproval. “This is what you prioritize when the Evanuris work to destroy and enslave the entire world?”

“Oh, pipe down.” A dimple begins to peek out from one cheek. “The eluvians may have revolutionized how we travel from place to place, but you know as well as I—logistics take time. We’re only as strong and as swift as our allies.”

At first, the expression on his face is tight, twisting his angular features with objection. 

When several heartbeats pass, they smooth a bit, eventually leveling out into the Dread Wolf’s regular affect. Polite. Curious. Patient.

“Indeed, as I am captive here for the foreseeable future, I have no choice but to support your endeavors and hope that your… book club does not detract from the efficacy of your actions.”

Captive. The word does not escape Rook’s attention, nor the intention behind it. Of course the Dread Wolf would think he’s captive, as if he isn’t the victim of his own arrogant machinations. Rook stows this observation away. After all, an assassin must approach every interaction like they would a mark awaiting enticement: meticulously, taking painstaking measures to end up with your back against the wall. It is imperative that the seduced feel powerful boxing you in. Those inebriated by the sensation of conquest are rarely if ever careful, and nothing excites a hungry wolf more than their prey immobilized and trapped within jaws’ reach.

Rook throws Solas a wink, the dark curtain of her lashes fluttering against a freckled cheekbone. “If you have a book recommendation, Dread Wolf, I can always be the liaison between here and the Lighthouse.” She then places a calloused hand over her heart. 

“Besides, to my great and absolute misfortunate, it seems that the nightmares are further attuning my subconscious mind to the blood magic. I’m sure you’ll see me soon enough.” 

The smirk on her face dampens.

“Probably far sooner than you’d wish.”

Inclining his chin, Solas at last releases the arms from his chest. “Indeed. You seem to be haunted by the echoes of your memories.” His lips tug at the corners. “A quality we both share. As long as the nightmares persist, you should expect to return here often.”

Frustration ripples along her veins, but she manages to freeze the smile on her face. “I’m so looking forward to it. You know how much I enjoy our conversations.”

Rook almost misses the slackening of his expression, distracted by the idea of having so little control over her own mind. She should be better than this. Another Crow would be better at this. She wants to yell, the urge rising up in her throat.

There isn’t any kind of training which would adequately address the circumstances. Mastery over the subconscious is one thing—fledgelings complete a myriad of exercises to better understand and gain proficiency over hidden impulses. The Crows even offer instruction on how to counteract blood magic using herbs, charms, and preemptive measures. 

But a blood magic connection? While sleeping?

“Mugwort.” And it is his voice that snaps Rook out of her self-reproach. Finding purchase within his amethyst eyes, she listens with full attention to his next reply.

“For nightmares,” he clarifies. “Or chamomile, lavender, and sweet hops. Many will dry the flowers in satchels and hang them by their bed. I would personally suggest brewing them in tea, however.”

 The absence of anything sharp and hard within her is a sudden scream tumbling into the dark abyss between them.

Rook nods, sucking the inside of one cheek. “I’m already familiar with those. Crow training. To be honest, I’m not sure why they’d work now. They haven't before.” 

Solas’s furrowed brow reveals his curiosity.

She sighs and lowers her gaze, preferring to fix it on the pebbly ruins beneath her feet. “This is an ‘echo’ that has lingered for quite some time,” Rook elaborates.

When he doesn’t immediately respond, Rook nods again, swallowing. Lilac curls caress the sides of her face and neck.

“Well. Thanks for the verbal sparring match!” she huffs. “And thanks for trying to help, I guess—”

“Lyrium.”

“What?”

Solas’s voice is suddenly soft and confident, and it is eerily similar to how the morning’s rays slowly, carefully, warm the landscape below. 

“Have one of your companions brew the tea for you. A mage. Adding small amounts of lyrium while the tea steeps is a good way to block nightmares, as lyrium enhances the flowers’ properties. Because you are not a mage, you will not be lucid and in control while you dream. Your dreams will also be somewhat more vivid, so it is something to consider beforehand. However, the nightmares will stop.” The serene expression on his face relaxes even further.

Rook doesn’t know what to do with this. Can he see her confusion? Can he feel her heart sink into her gut? Her curls, also unmoored, twist wildly in the prison’s breeze, dancing over her eyes.

She does not brush them away.

“Why help me now? With this?”

“It is the practical thing to do,” Solas answers, lips curving. “You are the last bastion against Elgar’nan and Ghillan’nain, after all.”

Rook’s reciprocal smile mirrors the strange, amicable energy the two of them somehow manage to create. “Someone has to be.”

“Indeed.” And though his smile remains, a slight tightness at the corners of his eyes relays a new emotion she can’t quite place. “And, Rook? I am not the monster you wish me to be. I find no comfort in your suffering.”

That… isn’t what she expects.

And Rook is not sure she believes him.

Still. It would be a nice sentiment if he did mean it.

“Come on. Be honest,” she teases. “Not even a little bit?”

At this, Solas grins, the gesture so unexpected and shocking that Rook fights the urge to physically step back.

Because it is not the grin of a predator.

“Perhaps, at times,” he chuckles. Curiously, this particular gesture fades much faster than the smile, leaving a distinct, strange sorrow in his visage.  “Certainly not, however, when it concerns memories of a time better off forgotten. That is a pain I do not wish upon many.”

Rook frowns. “No. I don’t want to forget these memories. I can’t afford to.”

“Why not?”

Her reply comes swiftly. Easily. She thinks nothing of it. “They make me who I am.”

However, the desire to step back, to retreat, surges again, when astonishment tumbles across his features, revealing a very blank, very vulnerable expression beneath his favored mask of benevolence and civility.

For a few horrifying seconds, Rook imagines that this is what Solas actually looks like. When his face is stripped bare of all pretense and pretending. That he truly is curious and wise. 

Unlocked, at the core.

The shock, the near-revulsion of this realization forces Rook to clamp her muscles against the instinct to flee. Absently, she contemplates examining this violent reaction, but Solas recovers first, something like uncertainty in his voice. 

As if she is the wolf he needs to anticipate.

“Forgive my reaction. I was not expecting to find more similarities between us.” There is no smile on his face now, though his tone is anything but unkind. Meanwhile, the amethyst in his gaze simmers, growing more insistent with each breath. “Especially this one.”

The breeze promptly returns, twisting her curls back into her eyes again. “Oh, well… don’t worry about it. I won’t tell anyone,” Rook manages to say. For good measure, she winks—imitating her earlier gesture. 

But this time, she finds she means it.

“I suppose you’ll know if the tea works based on how soon you see me again.”

Rook, by some unspoken observation, gets the distinct impression Solas feels as dazed as she does. A slight spasming of the hands at his sides lets her know that he probably wishes to hide them behind his back, but it is the fact that he does not, that he lets them hang loosely, at his hips, which is most conspicuous. 

“Just in case, I’ll have a few people test the tea for safety beforehand. But be warned, Wolf Boy,” Rook laughs, raking a hand through her curls, “If the lyrium fucks me up because I am not a mage and you have forgotten about adverse effects in the many, many millennia you’ve been alive, I will come back here. On purpose. And I will recite one of Bellara’s Maker-awful Tevine newspaper serials from start to finish as punishment.” 

“Fair enough,” Solas replies, beaming. His answering laugh seems to stir the prison at large, clearing away the worst of the smog in the atmosphere. Rook’s attention, while momentarily drawn there, doesn’t hinder Solas from regarding her with a mirthful, wisteria-tinted gaze.

“I suppose, then, that I would deserve such a fate.”

Rook hums, silvery eyes flashing. “You suppose right.”

[poppystheories]

Komui is a character that goes a little unappreciated, I think.

But he is fucking amazing.

A secret militant organization takes his little sister away. And he couldn't do a thing to stop it. He is this girl's only guardian and she's going to be a soldier in a hopeless war to save all of humanity and there's nothing he can do to protect her.

It is a parent's worst nightmare. It is the cruel reality of how powerless individuals can be in the face of governing structures.

But what did Komui do, in the face of it?

He decided to fucking be the leader of that same organization???

Komui seriously decided, if there was nothing he could do for Lenalee as her big brother, then he'd just have to become someone with the power to help her.

The sheer emotional tenacity and hardwork it must have took is insane to imagine.

And then there's this moment that we see from Lenalee's perspective. It is incredibly touching: a shining light of hope, a great reunion.

But imagine how this must have looked from Komui's perspective. The first time he gets to see his sister in three years: three years working relentlessly to reach her within a power structure he must have already despised, probably fully aware that she could die at any point and that’s she’s basically being tortured in the meantime, and when he finally gets to her, he finds her tied down to a bed by his now coworkers, her finger nails broken from clawing at everything she could reach, her wrists bloody under her restraints.

Can you imagine the hatred he must have felt for the Order, in this moment?

But he smiles. For Lenalee's sake.

We see later on that the Black Order can really be divided into two ages: Before Komui and After Komui. Komui not only takes over the Black Order HQ for Lenalee's sake, but he takes the entire HQ staff under his wing. He changes the entire culture of the organization, and assumes responsibility for not just Lenalee, not just all the exorcists like her, but every human fighting this war.

Honestly, in a series full of incredible character moments, I think Komui's off screen journey is by far the most impressive.

In many ways, Komui is the Black Order: its heart and soul. His Black Order is the one that becomes our protagonist's home, the Order we come to love. He took what must have been the thing he hated most in the world and remade it with love.

Hence the absolutely gorgeous volume cover yet to come:

[bumblebeesfromvenus]

Lost and Found ♧| 2.

Leon S. Kennedy x reader (ft. my girl Ash)

A/N: This... this took me so long lmao I rewrote it like five times. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out, though! I don't really write slow burn, so this might suck. I wanna apologize for how fucking wonky the events of Part one are???? They're all out of order lmao anyway, Enjoy!

~Fi 🪻

Warnings: swearing, reader is an idiot (lovingly, of course), mention of a small injury, sucky slow burn

Word count: 2.7k

Part 1 ♧ Part 2 ♧ Part 3 ♧

Please don't copy my work! I put a lot of effort and heart into the things I write.

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It had been a couple of months since Spain happened. Your life has definitely... changed. Both good and bad. You were plagued by nightmares frequently, instinctively grasping your arm every time you shot awake. A faint, pink scar had formed where the gash once sat. Tracing it absent mindedly was a common occurrence ever since the first dream. You'd stare at the blank wall in your living room, gently caressing it.

That mission took a toll on you, so you were granted a few months off to work through your night terrors and process everything. Ashley had been a great help with that. She made sure you hung out at least once a week and always stayed in contact, calling you and you calling her. The events of Spain didn't leave Ashley without any struggles either. But, she had assured you that she was save, protected at all times and getting support from professionals. Talking to her, about Spain or anything really, helped you get out of the hole you were in.

She was your best friend. Whether or not she knew it, she really was. You didn't really have friends. Not since Raccoon City. You stayed inside your dull little home the last few years, working a boring office job for the government. Your only friend had been Dave, a middle-aged man who worked in the security department. So you rotted away for years, mourning your past life. Your past you.

Honestly, you have no idea how you ended up as a special agent in the first place. Your police background increased your chances at scoring the position, but you didn't really have much experience. When you were offered the 'promotion', you didn't think too much of it. Couldn't be that hard, could it? You'd survived Raccoon City after all.

You were so wrong. You basically traded the mediocre lunch breaks you had with Dave, with running for your life from Zombies. Bad fucking trade. And the worst part, your officials didn't give a shit. They just wanted this to be dealt with as discretely as possible. End of the story, they underestimated how big this whole thing actually was, and now you were the one left with the shitty consequences. But you had Ashley! And Leon, of course, but that was a little more complicated.

You still hadn't gotten around to the promise of getting drinks together. He was going away on missions all the time, so although you kept in touch no matter what, he wasn't there. You thought, after some excruciating years, you had found your best friend again. Your person. And you did, but he was so close yet so out of reach. You couldn't take it anymore. You lost 7 whole years with him, and you finally had him back, but he was still gone.

"I don't know what to do, Ash." You sighed, playing with your shirt while you held the phone to your ear.

"Well, have you told him that? I'm sure he wants to spend more time with you too, but you need to tell him that!" She urged. Biting your lip, you hestitated.

"I just... he was my best friend. We did everything together, and now.. I know that it's him but I don't recognize him. He's.. different now. I thought he didn't change, but.. he did. That scares me. What scares me even more is the fact that he's always on my mind, I can't seem to function without him here. I only think about him. 24/7." You mumbled into the phone.

"Sounds a whole lot like you're in love with him."

"I- what? No! I mean, of course I love him, he's my best friend, but that's it. He's just my friend and you can love your friends, right? Like, everyone does, it's not something odd or anything." you rambled.

Sure, your heart lit a flame every time he smiled, and the sound of his laugh was heaven. His dumb jokes never failed to put a smile on your face but that's just how friends are. Yes. Totally. Friends feel like that. Just some regular friendly feelings.

"You're so oblivious! That's NOT how friends feel about eachother. Like ever. I've seen the way you look at him!" She argued. "What look? I don't look at him differently... do I?"

"Yes, you do. Everytime he's near you, that lovesick smile on your face kinda gives it away. Or the blush when he asks if you're okay. Not to mention how you panic when he gets hurt. Just admit it!" Ashley whined.

"I'm not in love with him, Ashley! He's my best friend, that's it!" You argued. She groaned into the phone. "I can't believe you're so smart yet so stupid." She said, clearly annoyed. "Rude." you mumbled.

"I have to go now, Miss Denial. Seriously though, you're not doing yourself a favor by denying your feelings." She said softly. You rolled your eyes and huffed.

"Would it make you feel better if I told you I'll think about it?"

"Definitely. Love you!" She beamed.

"Love you too." You chuckled as she hung up. Maybe you would think about it. If not for yourself, then for her. She was right about suppressing your feelings but about you being in love with Leon... you weren't sure.

Eh, that was a problem for the future you. For now, all you wanted to do was enjoy some drinks with him.

Your teeth gnawed at your lip, trying to decided how to go about this situation. Do you call Leon now? Tomorrow, maybe? Should you call him at all? You hadn't talked to eachother in a while... would it be awkward? Before you can lend any more attention to those thoughts, your phone rang and it was none other than Leon. Speak of the devil. You picked up, your heart racing.

"Hey... look, I'm sorry for not calling more, work s'just been busy. I.. Do you want to go for those drinks I promised tonight?" He sounded nervous. Unsure. He sounded so much like the Leon you knew. Your Leon. Maybe he hadn't changed that much after all. "Y-yeah, I'd love that. Um-  how does eight sound?" You responded, a little more nervous than you wanted to. "Sounds good. See you." And with that, he hung up.

Something's up with him. Your brows furrowed. Maybe he worked more to get his mind off Spain? He was a workaholic, trying to do more and more and not realizing how much it actually affected him. He was hurting himself by trying to protect others from harm. Maybe it's just the stress. You had plenty of time to question him at the bar, supported by a few Piña Coladas.

A couple of hours before, the anxiety hit you like a truck. It was safe to say that you were scared out of your mind right now. How the fuck were you supposed to talk to Leon like nothing was going on? Like nothing happened? You couldn't. And after that conversation with Ashley? Nope. No chance. Panic was bubbling up your throat. You felt like you could never face him again. Everytime you looked at him, or even thought of him, it was just pain. The pain of the building collapsing on top of you. Your pained cries when you realized he hadn't come back for you. The pain when you thought he was dead. The pain that if Ashley was right and you really were in love with him, you could lose him again.

He made your world bright and vibrant and when he was ripped from your grasp, you were lost in a sea of grey. Drowning. Desperately gasping for air, refusing to let the water in. Now, he had brought the color back to your life but all the vibrant hues made your head spin and your eyes hurt. You grew comfortable in your sea of grey. Embracing the cold kiss of the water filling your lungs, making you float peacefully.

Could you let the color back into your world? Could you pull yourself from the tide and cough up the water? Did you even want to? You didn't know. It was all too much. You were pulled out of your head when you dropped your glass of water. You were so consumed in your thoughts and anxieties that it had just slipped out of your hand. Carefully cleaning it up, you felt a sharp sting in your finger.

You had accidentally cut yourself on the broken glass shards. A small stream of blood was running down your finger and along your palm. A drop of blood hit the puddle of water, and it bloomed in red. You haven't felt like this in years. You could actually feel something. It's not like you didn't you feel the last seven years, but your soul was too numb to care. You actually felt something. Not like those times when you hit your head or nicked yourself while cooking. You would react relatively neutral to those incidents, but now... you could feel the burn of the cut, a searing sting in your skin. A small smile tugged at your lips.

It's because of him. Because you had him back, and he made you feel alive again. He had just stumbled into your life and turned it upside down. Like he always does. But you wouldn't want to have it any other way. God, how you had missed feeling like this. So vulnerable. So sensitive. So human.

You cleaned up the glass but hung on to the feeling of the cut. You didn't like it per se, but it made you feel like something inside you had been fixed. A missing puzzle piece that slotted right into place. It just felt so right.

Just like he did. You shook your thoughts, having the habit of spiraling, wether it may be good or bad, and continued on with your afternoon. Your nerves about spending time with Leon calmed, it was just Leon! Your best friend. You had nothing to worry about. Well, with Leon, usually there was at least a little something to be worried about.

You were out the door, into the night, on your way to Leon. You had decided to just walk there since parking was an absolute nightmare in this city. Besides, the fresh air in your lungs and cooling breeze on your face was something you hadn't felt in a while. Fumbling with a small box in your pocket, you continued to the bar you two had agreed to meet up at. It wasn't really a present, more something you wanted to return. You never thought you could.

You took a deep breath before stepping into the warmth of the bar. Your eyes were searching for Leon, looking for that familiar blonde head of hair. Spotting him in the back, an inevitable smile crept onto your face. When Leon noticed you, his face lit up, a hand reaching up to signal you over to him. He stood up when you approached and immediately pulled you into a tight hug.

"Hey." He mumbled, muffled by your hair. "Hi." You said, the joy in your voice evident. The first real hug in seven years. You could've melted on the spot. It felt so good. So right.

You reluctantly pulled away, smiling at him. "Wow... It's been a while, huh?" He said with a small laugh. "Yeah.." you responded with a chuckle. You sat down and ordered your drinks. "So.. what have you been up to? How have you been?" You asked. He pondered for a moment. "Not a lot to be honest. Worked a lot, you know, saved the world once or twice." He joked at which you just playfully rolled your eyes.

"What about you?"

"I uh... I adopted a dog. Her name is Lady, she's a Bernese mountain dog. I couldn't stand being alone anymore so I got Lady and yeah... that's about it when it comes to major life events." You laughed, a little nervous but the tension was fading by the minute.

"You gave in, huh? You used to talk my ear off about wanting a dog back then, remember?" He smiled. You did talk about wanting a dog all throughout your time at the police academy and it seemed like you had finally fulfilled that dream.

"Yeah, I did. She's so sweet, you'll love her." you said with a smile. Leon let out a laugh. "I'm more worried about her liking me." He joked.

You two continued to talk and drink, just laughing and having a good time. The night got closer and closer to ending when you remembered the box in your pocket.

"I have something for you." You mumbled, nervous to how he would react. He piped up at that and raised his eyebrows. "Aw, for me?" He teased. You just gave him a shy smile. Now or never. You pulled out the small box and slid it over to him. "I wanted to return this." you said quietly. His brows furrowed and a confused look fell on his face. "Return? Alright."

Leon carefully undid the bow and opened the lid. Not in a million years had he expected this. His jaw hit the fucking floor. It was his goddamn RPD badge. What the fuck? How did you even get this? It was tattered and faded. He gently ran his fingers across his barely legible name.

You chewed on the inside of your cheek. You had no idea how he would react. Leon looked at you completely bewildered. "I.. How?" He asked, still shocked. You shifted in your chair and fiddled with your fingers. "When... when I got out, I found it on the ground. It was the only thing I had left of you." You mumbled, avoiding eye contact. By 'got out' you meant fighting and clawing your way through infected residents and escaping the ruins of the collapsed building.

You could see the pain in his eyes. Whether it was his own for the pain he felt for you, you weren't sure. You spoke before he could. "I made a promise to myself that I would get it back to you one day, but.. at some point, I gave up and just kept it for myself. I thought you were dead and that this," you gestured to the badge," was the only thing I had left of you. My best friend. But it's yours, I want you to have it back." You said, your voice cracking, trying not to cry.

You could see the tears glistening in his eyes, his knuckles turning white as he tightly gripped his badge. "Thank you..." was all he managed to get out. You quickly wiped the tears that were threatening to fall and let out a sad laugh.

"God... I'm sorry for ruining the mood like that. It probably would've burned a hole in my pocket if I kept it any longer, though..."

Leon placed his badge on the table and took your hands in his. "You didn't. Well, a little maybe, but I'm really grateful for this. Thank you." He assured you, sqeezing your hands.  Your skin lit on fire. His touch was so addicting. And so comforting. A blush made its way onto your face. Oh, fuck. Was Ashley right? No. No way, it's just a little hot in here. That's all. But you couldn't deny the way your heart twisted and turned when he touched you, the butterflies in your stomach were having a fucking rave right now. Jesus, it's just Leon. Get it together You thought to yourself.

Shaking off all those annoying feelings, you returned a smile. "How about I make it up to you with a Movie Night, hm? Ice cream and cuddles from Lady included." You proposed. He grinned and leaned in a little closer. "What about cuddles from you?" He asked, a teasing smirk on his face. It didn't come off nearly was confident as he wanted it to. His voice shook a little, making him sound nervous.

Leon Kennedy? Nervous? Something was definitely up. His nervousness didn't stop the bubbling feeling in your stomach, though. There go the butterflies again. Stupid bugs. This is normal, though. Right? You always cuddled. Friends cuddle. No big deal. He's always been like that. No sweat. Just a little friendly cuddle session. That. Is. It. Is it bad that you wanted it to be more than that? The idea of being in love with him suddenly didn't feel as scary anymore.

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Part three is coming soon~

[namis-gf]

Hii can I get Robin x Reader, where Robin wakes up from a nightmare and reader comforts her? I'd imagine it's set after Enies Lobby

ANON ILY THIS IS SUCH A GOOD REQUEST!!! i was kicking my feet and giggling while writing cause robin is best girl ever and hurt/comfort is my jam

summary: fem!reader and robin sharing a bed for the first time after everything that went down in water 7/enies lobby. for context, reader worked for sir crocodile in alabasta and robin took her along when she boarded the merry (but she was unaware of robin working with the government)

word count: 812 words / 0.8k

cw: none!

there are three beds now, in the girls' cabin on the sunny. you aren't sure if you're relieved or disappointed. the shipwright luffy picked - franky is his name, you think - had done a headcount of every member of the crew before getting to work.

the gulf between each bed feels even larger at night. for the first few nights back at sea, you can hear soft, heart-wrenching noises from across the room. your heart sinks into your stomach from the guilt, making you almost nauseous, but you can't work up the courage to get up and check on her.

robin had lied to you.

yes, you know she'd done it for the greater good. yes, you know she didn't mean any harm by keeping you in the dark. but nico robin has been by your side for as long as you can remember, on the sea and in the scorching sands of alabasta. she was there in your worst and weakest moments, and you cherish her. part of you wishfully thought that she too, felt as though she could confide in you just as equally.

she's crying again tonight. robin has always had issues with sleep, though she used to be much more cryptic and closed off about the origin of the problem. sometimes, back in your homeland, she would crawl into your bed after night-watch. never touching you directly, but her presence was warm and comforting.

you get to your feet and slip past a sleeping nami, heading toward the bed farthest from the door and shrouded in darkness. by the time you attempt to make an awkward approach, she is already awake and silently watching.

"i missed you," you whisper quietly, extending the olive branch.

before you can try and come up with something else to say, two hands brusquely push against your back. the motion sends you falling forwards, a familiar laugh and the scent of flowers awaiting. she pulls you close, your face red red red from embarrassment.

"it was about time you came to check on me," robin hums, an errant hand summoned by the devil fruit's magic combing through your hair. "one would almost think you were angry."

"i'm not angry," you grumble. "i was worried. for a smartypants, you've been making real stupid decisions of late. that new captain must be a bad influence."

"it wasn't stupid," she replies, sounding lost in thought. "i did what i had to do. if it came down to it, i was ready to go."

"that's the fucking problem! you convinced yourself you were ready, and-"

"i wanted to live, yes."

"well thank god," you huff indignantly, rolling over so you can face her properly. "i would've been pissed if you dragged me all this way just to go and die like a loser."

she chuckles again, the sound music to your ears. "what was it, mr. 0 used to say all the time? right, yes. we don't lose."

"and die winners?" you finish the familiar saying, "he was always so full of shit. the hell does that even mean? If you're dead, you lose. game over."

robin's breath seems to be evening out, and the throes of sleep are working to snare you too. but you came here for a reason, and you won't just let her ignore the problem any longer. "what were you dreaming about?"

"oh, i don't know," she says, flippant. if you could make out her face in the dark, you're sure she'd be smiling at your imminent frustration. "i never really remember my dreams."

“ever?" you echo disbelievingly, "that's nuts. just yesterday i woke up from an awful nightmare about the captain trying to boil my hair like spaghetti."

"sounds yummy," she presses close to you, now, and her two real arms circle around your shoulders. "but i'm afraid my dreams are top secret, frontier agent miss thursday."

"don't pull that garbage rank on me! you know i'm worth more than... eleventh," you say the last word with enough distaste that robin starts giggling again.

"no offence," robin says, in the voice that means she's about to be totally mean. "but i think your former rank had more to do with uh- how do i put it- your tendency to dispose of your partners."

“it's not my fault he was a dummy and couldn't defend himself," you argue back, mostly for the fun of it. "i really think they underestimated my grand potential."

"well that's why i took you with me, of course," she soothes, and you laugh a little yourself at the insincerity. "i'm serious though, i sleep better with you around. so you are hereby forbidden to leave."

"aye," you snort, raising a wobbly arm in mock salute. nico robin may be a total mystery, but you were raised persistent. and persist you fucking will, until she lets you into her heart.

[notalivebutbreathing]

(CW: Mentions of SA)

I am terrified.

This election is the worst nightmare of the vast majority who identify as queer in some aspect. Whether it be related to gender or to sexual orientation. He has called for ending diversity, equity and inclusion programs in government institutions, using federal funding as leverage for LGBTQIA+ citizens. He would roll back the extending of Title IX civil rights protections to transgender students. One student of mine cried to me this morning asking if they will have to use the bathroom with boys who have already told them that they will “smash their head against bricks” if they are seen in the bathroom.

This election is the worst nightmare for AFAB individuals. Victims of SA who are living in states that have deemed abortion unlawful are being stripped of their bodily autonomy. And while the GOP is not yet calling for a national ban, it has not been explicitly stated that it will remain up to the states. I had a student two weeks ago crying and praying at her lunch table, holding her stomach. She looked to me and said “I don’t know what to do now. My parents told me I have 3 weeks to find somewhere to live. But this wasn’t my choice.”

This election is the worst nightmare for students living in America. The remaining unregulated laws regarding firearms terrifies the students I work with daily. I had a 2nd grade student at a school I was covering for looking at every window in the cafeteria with panic and then scanning the rest of the room. When I asked her what was bothering her, she said, “If someone tries to hurt us through the windows, and we are all in here for lunch, where do I hide? How do I stay alive?”

My heart breaks every day for these kids. My heart breaks for every single person who will have to go through these next four years, constantly looking over their shoulder. My heart breaks for my trans friends who do not pass and are now forced to hide and pretend to be someone they aren’t. My heart breaks for my partner who now has to sit in their body and hate every single thing they see in the mirror because their hope for HRT it is no longer an option.

Myself and my partner cannot enjoy our time outside in public as a couple now. I cannot hold their hand. No quick pecks on the cheek. Nothing that would symbolize our relationship. We will keep it quiet. Like we are back in school with our first queer relationships. Never in public, never seen. Only we will know. And we can never be allowed to speak of it for fear of what others will do.

America, The Land of The Dead and The Home of The Scared.

I am terrified.