#she's super dumb thats her story just being dump

[tinycactusfromarizona]

How does your depiction of Bella and Alice differ from canon Bella and Alice? This can range form their personality to their fashion style. Info-dump as much as you want! I would love to hear your thoughts on this cause your art is wonderful and I will read your fics! I promise you that!

Okay so like i've wanted someone to ask me this forever!! so the fic Overcast is my canon Bellice, my partner wrote it for me so that's definitely somewhere to go to if you're curious. but i also have my own headcanons to add towards them. so bella is not super different, but definitely a lot more masc leaning. sure she keeps her long hair but in her style. im drawing a lot of inspiration from ellie from the last of us in her style (thats another one of my hyperfixations) personally wise, at first she's very meek and shy. but it's probably because she's new to Forks. she's really come into her own. and calmed down. once she's comfortable in her relationship with Alice she's definitely a lot more charismatic. she still loves to read, she goes through books ravenously. but also she joins Jacob and Rosalie with mechanics. she loves being able to put things together and make them work. And it's a way her and Rosalie get closer. they end up having a really great relationship. and that also goes for her and Emmett. they're probably the closest outside of her and Alice. they're basically long lost siblings. and they get into all kinda shit when they're together. They terrorize Edward it's hilarious honestly.

With Alice, She’s fairly the same in the roots. Much less problematic than how she is in canon. She doesn’t want to dress up Bella like a doll, sure she’ll have an influence on her fashion. But she wont dress her up. She respects her and loves her. I’ve made her kinda self indulgent to my tastes. I made her goth since it’s a style of fashion that i love so much. And personally i think it suits her incredibly well. At first i wanted some E-girl influence but as I got more into developing it I’ve started drawing some influence from trad goth. It makes sense since Alice lived through the inception of the goth subculture. She probably went to goth clubs and danced the night away back then. And honestly i think thats beautiful. I think she probably was attracted to all types of alternative subcultures. Being a little strange herself, she felt a kinship with outcasts. Not only that but also being queer and despite Jasper not being so into the idea of queer culture. (Straight white confederate soldier man, smh smeyer what were u thinking) She like all vampires can’t use modern smart phones due to modern touchscreens use bio electricity to work, since our vampires are undead and don’t produce bio electricity. So they’re stuck with either using styluses or dumb phones. Which I think is hilarious. Due to Alice’s being subjected to electric shock therapy she still has memory loss and on top of that she has developed a reading disability. I think she’ll want to look into her human life and look for her sister Cynthia. But I haven’t thought that far ahead of what goes on with their story. Her relationship with Jasper was inherently abusive, due to him abusing his gift of emotional influence on her to trick her to think they were mates. (Go read overcast if you want more of that storyline) So as expected they don’t last much longer after Bella comes into her life. I think it’s sweet that they end up saving each other in their stories. Alice helps Bella come into her own and gain her confidence, Bella helps Alice escape the abuse she wasn’t even aware she was being subjected to.

In my own personal head canon, vampires can change forms. Depending on anger and bloodlust. They become much more monstrous. Gaining a mouth full of sharp teeth, jaws unhinging, claws forming and body frame distorting into a much more animalistic or demonic body. I want them to become so scary. Not just the pretty marble statues that Smeyer depicts. Vampires are monsters and i want them to look the part when they let their humanity go. I have a few drawings of Alice showing her monstrous side, but not going that far into it. Vampires are one of my hyperfixations so i go pretty in depth on twilight vampires in my head. A big part of why i like them is the creatures they are, the politics of covens and the Voltori. I just think they’re just so interesting. Not only that me and my partner dive into werewolves and the difference between werewolves and shapeshifters in our twilight universe. (It’s all in overcast and full moon so please go read those fics if you want more of that)

I have drawn some personal pieces for them (mostly nsfw) but tumblr is not nice to those kinda drawings so they stay in my personal collection. Unless like y’all want me to start up a Patreon or something idk.

I want to draw more for them but like I’m a bit burnt out at the moment, I’m focusing on stuff I’m hyperfixating on right now. But I’ll come back to twilight, it’s my great love and bellice is my otp so don’t worry, I’ll be back soon. This is everything I can think of at the moment but like if you want me to elaborate on like specifics I’d be happy to talk about more. I love twilight and i love to talk about it. I really appreciate you asking me about my personal headcannons and the bellice i draw, so thank you!!

[roniarose]

Guardians 3 thought dump

Aaaah i actually liked an MCU movie for once

The Guardians were kind of the perfect team to go up against that type of villain, a team thats taken two movies to learn and are still in some ways learning that their differences and flaws are what makes them a family, up against someone who sees those flaws as a failure to be discarded. All of the Guardians spend a lot of time across all three films trying to escape how others view them, so this antagonist really feels like the perfect choice to culminate the trilogy

Also man the russos took a fat wet shit all over gamoras arc and james gunn still managed to salvage it and make it work, I was fucking terrified the whole movie that they were gonna end up together when thats literally impossible with this gamora, But gamora calls out quill immediately in this, and tells him thats shes not that person he so desperately wants. Peter still at least has the arc that he was meant to have regardless of gamoras fridging, where he needed to realize that hes projecting what he needs from other people onto those people, especially gamora. The movie still hints that they COULD end up being together, they just both need to spend time becoming more actualized versions of themselves. And peter needs to resolve more of his emotional baggage and sexism.

Its funny because from the way 2 ended its really obvious that gunn had planned for them to be together in 3 but that basically got ruined when she got tossed into the infinity stone pit. :/ i’m glad gunn was smart enough to realize that trying to redo 2 movies worth of relationship buildup across one movie was a bad idea

Lets see what else

Oh, hey Nathan fillion, long time no see! I’m glad you finally got to be in a story about a ragtag found family in space that didn’t end up getting canned, and i think the fight you did in the building that looked like a middle school science textbook illustration rocked, 10/10 keep rocking the Michelin man fit

I like that Adam Warlock is a big dumb idiot man that carries a pet around and listens to king crimson because its super obvious gunn had no clue what to do with him but had to have him there because the mcu continues to be an ever expanding nightmare mess. 10/10 no notes

Obviously the i am groot reveal was cute, and also a kind of cycle break that didn’t feel forced or like it had extra gravitas added to it, the reveal that the audience is part of the family now just gets to be a simple little moment

I love that nebula gets to be relatively more relaxed in this movie on the whole, she honestly deserves it, let her sip her lil sodie pop.

I loved Draxs lil dad moment in the third act as well, and how it ends up forcing nebula to learn that emotional intelligence is just as vital to have a practical intelligence. Up until that point she really underestimated him and a lot of the rest of the team because she had been taught by thanos a lot of the same things our villain believed, that theres only one kind of way to be, and that only perfection and results matter. She ends up learning through the guardians and drax that we each of our own individual strengths and perceived flaws, and that real perfection is in the culmination of those forces in our lives. I thought it was nice :)

The last thing i can think of is that I liked how a series defined musically by track from the 70’s and 80’s ends off with a track from the 2000’s. A way of communicating subtly our characters aren’t trapped in their past anymore. Great stuff

Anyways thats what i got atm, if you stumbled on this and are wanting more mcu stuff, sorry to disappoint, this is prolly the last mcu thing i’m checking in for unless something reveals itself to be more interesting in the future. I wanna try and talk more about other things tho, so maybe you will like those posts!

Testing this out

[maskved]

hello, besties ! this is ami (she/her) and i’m probably late with this intro ! first i’m sorry for mass-liking every post but i’m already in love with all your lovely muses. also i must confess that i’ve only read the first book ( years ago ) and watched the show because i have an attention span of - 10 seconds.  but at least i’m a soc hoe, so we can scream about that ... please ... !!! so if i get anything wrong pls let me know or you can also not let me know and i’ll continue being embarrassing 😔. anyway, if you are interested in some juicy plotting pls LIKE this post or message me ( if you want to plot on discord we can also do that 💖). I’M EXCITED.

PINTEREST  . discor*d     six of hoes🔪#7888  //  YEVA

[ viktoriya zobova ], an [ twenty six ] year old grisha in the little palace. she is  a [ tailor ] and are known in the little palace as the [ viscerotonic ]. they are known to be [ resilient ] and [ elusive ] and vaguely resemble [ kristine froseth ]. 

death tw

- viktoriya zobova ( however, prefers to be called vika because every time one calls her by her full name she might as well be in trouble ) had never been more than average. born to average parents ( although grisha their powers pale compared to others ) into an average family and of course as the middle child, vika strived for more than simply being overlooked.

- truth to be told, she dreaded to be tested. to her it seemed like the final reminder that she was nothing special, average, merely an extra to someone other’s story. she even wished, she wouldn’t be a grisha, fearing that like her parents she’d belong to the lower ranks. however, if she turned out to be a simple human without any power, at least she’d be special within her family or could even try to make a story up that she was adopted or something ( i hate her -- ).

- however, the moment she found out about being able to alter people’s appearances with her ability *atla vc* everything changed - 

- truth to be told she knew she was considered to be lower rank among others but what really fueled her arrogance and the sudden feeling of self importance was her knowing that she possessed a rare ability. she didn’t care others treating her badly for her rank because “hey i can alter appearances and that is lit ( she probably didn’t say it that way - )

- ALSO ( here comes the moment i throw in my found family trope bcs i’m a soc hoe and this actually plays a big role in her story ) she’d found comfort in the friends she met.

- (lemme add my childhood friends trope bcs why not ) as vika was never close to her parents ( to be fair her being taken away for the training at such a young age did not really gave her the time to really bond with her family ) her little group of friends became her second family. they called themselves “blood is thicker water” ( gang ???) bcs 1) vika really thought the saying was blood is thicker water and not blood is thicker than water 2) they thought they were incredibly funny.

- they were pretty much known as troublemakers, especially with vika being a tailor it was easy to sometimes shift the blame on others. truth to be told, it only caused vika to be more frivolous. all the fun they had blinded her judgment and she viewed her ability as harmless.

- well, lets say vika becoming more reckless did not end up being the best character development (lmao). as usual , everything started out as a harmless joke. her friend asked her to change his appearance. however, this time they wanted her to change their whole face. not just the colour of their hair or eyes. vika was reluctant at first, she’d never done it before but in the end she agreed to it and much to her surprise she succeeded. she even bragged about it and told her friends ( of the bloody “blood is thicker water” gang (???) ) .

-  to cut a long story short, their friend ended up dying because of it. i have two versions for their death ( i haven’t decided on it yet *clown emoji*)

1) the person they changed their appearance into apparantly was involed in some shady stuff and had some pretty morally questionable people around him. they thought vika’s friends was that person they were looking for (bcs of the changed appearance) and killed them for some reason.

2) vika’s friend was supposed to be part of some mission they didn’t want to go to, thus changed their appearance to escape from it. however, ended up having to do another mission and ended up being killed. 

RIP nameless but vital character to vika’s bio 

- vika pretty much blamed herself for it and maybe her friends of their friend group as well. this incident also ‘humbled’ vika and now instead of being proud of it she hates it.

- right now, she doesn’t really know what to do with her future. she has this ‘oh so grand’ plan that one day she might be able to change her appearance (permanently) and then leave the little palace and live under a new name and lead a life where she wouldn’t need to use her abilities anymore.

personality ( i’m trying to keep it short i swear, i’m just adding a bunch of sentence here bcs i’m throwing all my ideas into this paragraph)

- she’s known to be pretty social. she loves to talk and honestly doesn’t know when to shut up. she can’t deal with silence because it forces her to think about things she doesn’t want to think about. although, her tongue is sharp and trouble seems to follow her, she also loves to dance around the issue, pushing her feelings away and replacing it with a witty joke instead. as if everyone does it the same way, as if everyone is supposed to understand. 

headcanons

- although she was tempted to change her own appearance many times. she never did because she is a coward and doesn’t trust her skills as much others might think she does.

- she views her ability as a form of art, perhaps that is also the reason she used to love to paint. honestly, she was never really good at it. average and above average with practice. her friend ( the dead one lmao ) used to paint with her whenever they could sneak away but with them gone, she doesn’t see a point in it anymore.

- she secretly envies the other grisha’s who can use their ability to fight. recently, she’d find herself trying to practice some punches so she doesn’t feel that useless in case of a dangerous situation. she also sucks at that so she’s probably in need of a training patner aka someone who is willing to train her or she has annoyed that much that they were willing to help her out ( wc ???)

- being personally trained by the darkling, one might assume that she’s loyal or even thankful towards the darkling. however, contrary is the case and she wouldn’t even grant him a dust particle of her trust. she doesn’t believe that he has the best interest of anyone in his heart and if she could, she’d probably spread rumors about him and telling others that he has some serious case of stanky breath.

wanted connections ( just some ideas, which can be changed ofc ! or some wcs can be connected ) 

(0/3) “blood is thicker water” friend group  : they pretty much grew up together. the death of their friend ( the friend needs a name - i swear...) caused tension within the group. while, one might have blamed vika for their death the other doesn’t and just wants them to be how they used to be. nevertheless, no one can deny that nothing was what it used to be). (( honestly these are just some ideas and we can plot wtv sddm )

training partner ( can be more than one ): connection mentioned in the hcs ! they help her a little out to become physically fit and level up her combat skills of -10. maybe they want something in return for it. help her out bcs they’re just nice or bcs vika annoyed the heck out of them etc.

person vika changed their friend’s appearance into: honestly we can do wtv with it. i just thought it’d be fun to play with the idea and having the person running around when they actually “died” and everyone belieed them to be dead until they found out that it was vika’s friend. might be angsty bcs it might remind vika of their friend.

angsty exes: listen, i love some angsty shit and i love to blame vika for all the problems. they might have dated before the whole dead friend fiasco happened. although, viktoriya acted as if she was fine after the incident ( which she wasn’t ),it only made muse a realize that vika and them weren’t as close as they believed and how much vika tied to hide from them.  BUT tbh anything would work i love a good angsty ex connection djddnd

random idea but i just liked the thought that this person once went to vika for some enhancing stuff. however, this day vika was not really herself, distracted, head in the clouds. so she accidenally might have gotten rid of some important scar or something.

enemies : lbr, vika might prbly be the type who has some enemies. she has no filter and might has stepped on someone toes because of it. (Also maybe gimme some enemies to lovers trope , adding this here quietly to not expose myself as a hoe for that trope )

HONESTLY GIVE ME EVERYTHING, gimme angst, fluff, tropes !!??? more friends, unusual friends, shippy stuff, platonic stuff, family connections djdsd GIMME 

[breakinglss]

hiiiii bffles, so im mars 23 in est <3 im late as hell like super late like its 7am for me u know how it is. one second ur listening to the same song on repeat eating a can of pumpkin pie filling u had left over andd then the whole day is gone. so im gonna dump a bit about cora here and we can plot a bit. 

𓏲  ՞  ˖  🍀    𓂃    park  chaeyoung,  demi  woman,  they/them/theirs or she/her/hers.          have  you  seen  cora  jung  around  town?  they  can  often  be  found  at the  pottery  shop,  &  you’ll  be  able  to  recognize  them  by  their  dreamy  smile  and  furrowed  brows.  the  twenty  three  year  old  is  a  park  ranger  and  has  been  residing  in  solaris  for  six  years.  the  gemini  often  reminds  the  residents  of  the  smell  of  bonfires,  grass  stained  knees,  sharpie  on  park  signs.

cora is loud and energetic often too loud for the room they are in - you always get the most like honest reaction out of them even if its a bit over the top

they came to town with their solo dad and two brothers and they love their dad with all their heart and their brothers well... theyre brothers! 

their mom and dad went through a divorce and wanted nothing to do with the family and they kind of grew up with not much to their name so thats kind of what started them in being very outdoorsy they are so easy to find their fun in anything they do. they were definitely a tree kid broken bones a pack of cute bandaids. theyre still like this ngll

very crafty as well not overly artistically talented but god do they love to make dumb shit especially with pottery or clay in general like theyre ugly and they probably tried to make you a personal cereal bowl for a present and it leaked bad but it makes a good key tray for the front door 

apartment is organized mess much like them in general, things are where they need to be but those places dont exactly make sense 

rebelled quite a bit from the end of high school and theyre still kind of in that ditched class for going to listen to music and smoke in the trails behind the school this really still happened even in college which is why they dropped out 

theyre competitive espeically if its something athletic they actually coach their younger brothers soccer team and... someone probably shouldnt have let them do that theyve gotten into arguments with moms. 

while theyre pretty serious about their job they cant help but sometimes they cause a little trouble and slack off a little bit from time to time and just mess around. letting friends have free camping spots during the off time. drinking and having big campfires as they are a expert horror story teller. which occasionally they scare tourists with as well 

rollerblades everywhere unless its shitty out theyll take the bus yes they are quirky what else do you want me to say theyre not gonna get a car you know theyre a planet lover at least theyre not like a vegan or a vegetarian 

connection ideas 

tinder date / set up date through a mutual friend : can be bad can be good can be funny bad and lead to a friendship this one is always fun to do 

siblings while i have it said they have only brothers im more than happy to work with that. one brother is a minor and id like to keep it that way,  but the other i dont mind about the age or anything 

maybe someone who camped and they have told one of their scary stories too them or town urban legends they make up to try and scare them. did it? 

friends they cause trouble with, theyre loud in bars together they cause general ruckus around town write on street signs just kind of vibe 

exes ( any gender ) cora is the type to be infatuated fast and then get bored and get over it just as quickly so i would say theyve been a serial dater in that respect. this probably doesnt always happen so we could definitely say your muse broke up with them.

hookups. good or bad. one night stand or on going.

one of their friends that has to recieve all their newest craft interests like the leaky cereal bowl or a knitted sweater that has lots of holes in it bcz of missed loops

if you dont want to properly plot we can do meet cutes, cora has a beast of a german shepard that they rehabilitated maybe they helped them chase it one day, spilled coffee on your muse on a busy morning gave their number for an iou at another time, a sibling of maybe one of the kids on their brothers soccer team, karaoke night at a bar met saw each other again in the morning for the hang over coffee, kicked your muse out of the campsite for being a shit head. picked up the same book or album at a store WHATEVER WORKS. 

[sibyl-of-space]

Finished a binge re-play of Ocarina of Time (3D) for the first time in a very, very long time. Long-winded thoughts below.

Disclaimer: I played the original n64 version (red blood Ganondorf and all) ad NAUSEUM as a kid. It was by far in my top 3 most-played video games, and if you all know me you know that I don’t play a lot of video games, I play the same few over and over and over and become obsessed with them. As such, OoT is not new to me. I also played the 3D version once before, but it was over the course of several years when I was in college and that was a no-lens-of-truth run for the heck of it. I have not touched either since though, so this is the freshest eyes I’ve had on the game since I was probably about 6-7 years old seeing it for the first time. Do keep in mind though that I already knew virtually all the easter eggs and secrets and story and progression and had a vague recollection of the vast majority of dungeon concepts/puzzles before going in, because this game was my entire world for many formative years.

This game has really excellent dungeons. I ranked them below because I was inspired by my friend ML’s ranking (in fact a desire to rank them myself is what caused me to binge replay this in the first place), but honestly I found all of them engaging. My least favorite was ice cavern but even ice cavern has a really cool atmosphere and an interesting concept, it’s just a bit tedious and bottle management gameplay is not particularly fun to me.

1. Spirit Temple - unlike Shadow which uses invisible walls as a mechanic to trick you, Spirit subverts every single mechanic and puzzle you've encountered so far to really throw you. It's extremely clever. The ambience and overall design is also just excellent.

2. Forest Temple - gameplay wise it is fine but as the first adult temple it REALLY sets the scale and tone for the latter portion of your adventure; the vibe in this temple is just so fucking cool. The sacred forest meadow honestly does come off as sacred, ancient, and haunted but in an ethereal way as opposed to a spooky way. Ooh, I love it.

3. Ganon's Tower - the concept is excellent and the execution is solid, the medallion portion is interesting but the gauntlet up to Ganondorf with increasingly loud organ music and hallways filled with bats and just cool fights and great atmosphere makes this one of the sickest final dungeons I can think of. I was starting to be like "eh maybe the medallion rooms are a bit underwhelming" and then I got hit with the fakeout room in Light that just won me over with how cheeky it was. All the medallion rooms felt a bit like Spirit temple with how they played with expectations, which (ironically?) made the spirit portion actually the least good.

4. Gerudo Fortress - I'm counting mini dungeons and the whole espionage thing is just SO much fun. Break into a thieves’ hideout, jump across rooftops and shoot people with your bow to sneak past them?? WHAT IS NOT TO LOVE?????

5. Water Temple - okay I gotta say this replay really sold me on water temple. It's a cool concept and a fantastic atmosphere, and 3DS quality of life changes (boot swap ease of access + very clearly visually marked water level change rooms) made me actually thoroughly enjoy playing it. Also Dark Link is rightfully hailed as one of the coolest, if not the coolest, miniboss(es) in the game, so extra points there.

6. Bottom of the Well - Shadow's invisible wall mechanic is much more interesting when you can't see through them and everything is a potential trap. Falling down to the basement does get frustrating but that room where you light torches to open coffins and a FLOATING GIBDO EMERGES makes up for it, holy crap. Shadow Temple is underwhelming because Bottom of the Well already did what it tries to do but better.

7. Dodongo's Cavern - hey man I like blowing up dinosaurs this dungeon is just solid 0 complaints

8. Fire Temple - Fire Temple is also solid I just a) am so used to the original music that this version feels empty and lacking atmosphere by comparison, and b) find the above temples cooler. Shout out to dragon whack-a-mole boss fight though.

9. Shadow Temple - this suffers from being the only temple I really had completely memorized (I think my weenie friends* must have made me beat it for them as kids) so playing it this time was really just going through the motions; it didn’t get the chance to win me over because I remembered all of it and nothing particularly stuck out to me as being super clever. The boat ride, however, is sick as hell.

(*disclaimer: I was also a weenie. Shadow Temple scared the absolute pants off of me. But I clearly played it enough times that the entire thing was etched into my memory regardless, so.)

10. Deku Tree - does its job as tutorial dungeon, nice atmosphere, thats about all there is to say.

11. Jabu-Jabu's Belly - redeeming feature is using Ruto as a projectile. Throwing her at the ceiling switches will never not be hilarious. Honestly not a bad dungeon, merely gross and I like the other ones better.

12. Ice Cavern - I used to dread Ice Cavern; this time around I just found it tedious. The atmosphere is successful - it really feels cold and chilling - but not appealing enough to make up for it being dull and kind of annoying. Has the potential to be really cool if the blue fire were used in a more interesting way than “fill your bottles and dump them elsewhere.”

BUT, I feel it would be a complete disservice to my younger self and my younger self’s reasons for playing this game so much, if I focus completely on dungeons and disproportionately on gameplay in a review. Because while gameplay is a huge reason I kept going back to it (hard to want to go back to a game if it isn't fun to play), that’s not what made me love it so much, and a replay has given me fresher eyes to enjoy everything else it has to offer.

Ocarina of Time creates a world and a story that I deeply cared about, and revisiting as an adult, I find if anything I have more take-aways than I did previously. I have always really enjoyed coming-of-age narratives when done well, and this is a coming-of-age narrative done REMARKABLY well. You see dumb bratty kids doing dumb bratty kid things and then see the mature people they’ve grown into 7 years later; the game does not make the mistake of projecting a personality onto a voiceless protagonist, but it does imply a narrative arc for him (and you) regardless just through how strong and cool and awesome you get by the end and all the rad shit you’ve accomplished over the course of the game. It manages to very, very successfully make its story about other characters who DO have personalities, but also make you as the blank slate mc cool guy hero very much have a part in that story that feels very earned and satisfying.

Link doesn’t have a personality. You can project whatever the hell you want onto him or nothing at all. Ocarina of Time makes that *work*, because it doesn’t try to frame him as either ~adult in a child’s body~ or ~child in adult’s body~, it just lets you experience the literal growth from a kid who has to jump to reach ledges and has to thwack things twice with a slingshot and tiny sword, to an adult who can LAUNCH MASSIVE PILLARS INTO THE AIR and one-shot previously difficult enemies, and interpret that however you will. I think the most powerful example of this is going back in time again after doing several adult temples, and entering the bottom of the well, where you see enemies you’ve previously only encountered as an adult, and feel confident that you can tackle them as a child, too.

I really love these kinds of narratives. Where the growth of the main character is purely in the sense of you as the player becoming more adept and stronger, and the context of the story makes that mean something, but the game doesn’t try and pretend the avatar itself has a 3-dimensional personality.

I also think the balance between narrative and gameplay is excellent once it hits its groove. The beginning is very hand-holdy (Navi taught me how to open a door after I had already opened a door elsewhere because she’s scripted to do it at a specific door even though you can technically get to a later one first. lol), and I very firmly believe that with Saria’s Song as a device that lets you seek advice when you want to, it is completely unnecessary to have Navi yell at you what she thinks you should be doing. That said, the game doesn’t stop you from doing whatever the hell you want, and the number and depth of dungeons makes exploring and killing stuff by FAR the meat of the game, over the story. There is a suggested dungeon order, but you have some freedom if you’d rather do them a bit out of order, and there is a LOT of fun side stuff you can do and get rewarded for.

Most of that side stuff is an excellent way to highlight the humor in this game. If you beat Malon’s horse race record she mails a literal fucking cow to your house. Your house in Kokiri Forest. You just show up and there is a fucking cow in your house. That is the funniest thing that has ever happened in a game in the history of forever, sorry. You can race the running man, and all of the other sidequests in the game make you think there is a beatable goal you’ll be rewarded for, and the fucker just goes “lol good try but I beat you by one second. :)” You can blow up the Gossip Stones and they turn into rocketships and launch into space. After you beat the game, and have a really poignant moment with Princess Zelda where she sends you back in time, there is a completely out of nowhere dance party featuring the entire cast in celebration. The game does not try to explain this. It just gives you a dance party, and after such a bittersweet finale and such a fun and engaging game, a no-context dance party is exactly what it needs. A line o Gerudo doing the can-can? Thank you, yes please.

There is SO much that this game does not feel any need to justify in-game, that it simply puts in there because it is fun or cool or both, and I appreciate that so much. There are easter eggs out the butt (still haven’t bothered catching the Hylian Loach and I have still NEVER found the sinking lure despite following every guide in existence). Most of the temples imply some sort of greater history that is not even the slightest bit touched on. It has a very cohesive “core” game that has a start-to-finish suggested progression and a matching narrative, and it has absolute mountains of random shit outside of that it in no way pretends to justify. It explains just enough to give it ground to stand on, but no more, leaving you with more questions than answers. That ambiguity drove me nuts as a kid, but now, I think it’s also why I kept coming back. I wanted answers the game wouldn’t give me so I felt compelled to try and find them myself.

Ocarina of Time’s ending is incredible in ways I am just now able to appreciate. First of all, Zelda is like “I’m gonna send you back in time now” and pulls up the Ocarina and instead of playing the Song of Time which everything in the game implies she should, she plays Zelda’s Lullaby and hesitates just enough on the last note as you are sent back in the past - oof, that’s a good moment. The entire game you’re told about how the Kokiri can’t survive outside of the forest and suddenly they’re at Lon Lon Ranch having a dance party. You walk away from the Master Sword and seal it back in the temple, but nonsensically are then able to meet Zelda in her garden as if nothing had happened, meaning she sent you back so far it erased not just the adult timeline but also everything you accomplished as a child too? So many questions, but the fact that it does not even bother to answer them and just leaves you with such an open-ended image of you and Zelda as kids, calling back to that very early moment after the first dungeon in the game, and you can interpret for yourself what exactly that means.

I’m getting rambly (HAHA as if I’m ever not) so I should wrap this up shortly. Ocarina of Time’s ending is why I am so vehemently opposed to the concept of a ~Zelda Timeline~. The ending is nonsensical if you try to apply concrete logic to it. This game proposes ideas and makes me feel a certain way about them and the ending succeeds in providing just enough closure to make me satisfied and just enough open-ness that makes me want to keep coming back to it to experience it again. It’s not an open-and-shut piece of history of a fake world, it’s a really remarkable journey thats ambiguity is what allows it to feel so very magical.

Ooh boy I can’t wait to replay MM again, but that is a game I’ve never stopped playing, so it’ll be anything but fresh. It hits different right after completing OoT, though. The only way to follow up on a story like Ocarina of Time is to be even MORE batshit, ambiguous, and loose with your definition of how time works.

[ofcloudsandstars]

This week was a wild Samhaintide ride. I’ll post more about it in the read more

Here's yet another selection of stories from my witchy life I am ready to dump on you all so get ready lol:

Wednesday night was the party at the occult shop Treadwells where we met a new witch friend who joined us for the Samhain festivities. I have already made a post about it here but her name is Letitia and she is a beautiful sapphic Taurean witch who loves gardening and cooking (duh she's a Taurus) and all the goddesses she worships and bought an incredible pumpkin pie to the ritual.

Halloween

So the day begun with me making candles for the ritual. I bought a skull candle, a candle the shape of a jackolantern and then I made several candles which were three mini pumpkins hollowed and filled with black wax that’s pumpkin and bourbon scented, then four tea light spell candles with black wax and four tea light spell candles with a special wax my sag witchy friend bought for me from Edinburgh from a witchy shop. The wax melt was made with herbs and was called 'thinning the veil'. I’ll elaborate later. I also had to walk to the post office to pick up the ouija board. I had a feeling I'd finally get my hands on it on Halloween. Its a very aesthetic round one and I was excited to use it.

We chose to gather in Queenswood in the north of London. It was already SUPER SPOOKY cause there was a murder nearby so all of the buses were being redirected lol. We gathered all in black with our witch hats and delved deep in the woods. It was so beautiful and the ground was completely coated in gold and red leaves so you couldn't even see the path. We found a clearing in the thick of the woods with an old tree that grew sideways so it made a semi circle. We made a HUGE circle that we drew in the earth with a dead stick and went over with dragonsblood incense and black salt.

We opened the space by lighting the pumpkin candles and begun with centering our energy. There were several parts to the ritual we planned, but first we begun with a 'putting it to rest' spell since autumn is the time to let things go and samhain is about death so it was like officially bringing things to an end. We wrote down what we wanted to end in our lives on a piece of paper (such as not seeing coworkers from a toxic job that someone was leaving or the retrograde made my friend run into her abusive father that she had binded from seeing her for YEARS so she wanted to put that situation to rest) and ignited it in my cauldron. When it burned down to ashes we chose a spot (under a goblin-like tree) outside of the circle to open the earth and bury it in. After we put it in it's grave we all said a few words of departure and said: rest in peace. lol.

In my case I wrote down names of these models that are obsessed with this Italian guy (who is the son of a huge fashion designer) who is in love with my sister. They are obsessed with him for his connections to the fashion world and that he is rich and are jealous of any 'hoes' he's currently into so they posted instagram stories on Halloween with them in witch hats taunting that they were going to curse him and all of his lovers or whatever in cutesy filters and my sister knows I practice witchcraft so she told me. So I binded and banished them and the next day they unfollowed her lol.

Anyway, afterwards we focused on what we should reflect on by pulling tarot cards for mercury retrograde in scorpio that was beginning on that day as it's going to be like two weeks of descending into our own underworlds. After we got a card we lit the black tealight candle as a road opening spell to manifest a helpful path with overcoming our retrograde's lessons.

Then I lit the skull candle and we had a moment to reflect on our ancestors and those that we loved that have been lost that year. We each shared stories then lit the white tea light candles with the wax that was for thinning the veil. When we lit it we thought about our loved ones or ancestors.

Finally we did a dance for thinning the veil. I had flying devil oil that was some fragrance oil I got from a hoodoo shop and we dressed ourselves with it and ran around the circle and chanted in the leaves. We then ate the pumpkin pie the lovely Taurean witch bought also some maple sugar fudge she bought (what a champ), and halloween candy. We used the Ouija board but it was really challenging. We thought maybe it was cause we needed to be less grounded so we put it away and cleaned up the ritual space and headed off.

The Taurean witch was going to head home to cook a feast, my French aries witch friend went to her friends she's staying at to have a party and my Sag witch friend went home to cook a dumb supper for her and her mom. I went back to my place to nap then get ready for the night. I met my Sag friend at a music venue to watch Honeyblood which is SUCH a witchy band. The performance really reminded me of some scooby doo hex girls shit. It was a lot of fun (until some grown ass men with no sense of self awareness took the mosh pit to mean something more of a Jailbreak riot and started throwing their whole 6ft man bodies everywhere despite not everyone being gladiator sized. It was really ridiculous but golden when Honeyblood sang "Glimmer" with lyrics like "she can put a hex on you" thats when this one guy in some sailor outfit shoved his body into us and we BOTH looked at him with such evil at the same time and he like.. stopped.. and like hastily moved to another part of the room..)  If you don't know Honeyblood you should listen to them, they are such a babe witch band.

We then went to a bar nearby to get flaming shots of absinthe as its a personal tradition (also a way to 'cross the veil') and someone took candids of us at the bar! (I added the picture above), for some reason we really caught the attention of everyone though we just were in witch hats like EVERYONE was like: OOO WITCHES and like we even had some lady take pictures of us at the bar? Like ok it was cute I guess. My friend was drunk then so every time someone was like: oo a Witch! She'd holler back YASS BITCH 365 24/7!!!! Like o' dear.

Final part to the night was the house party my Aries witch friend (she's the one who's apartment I almost burned down once when I was making spell candles). It was a place around the corner from mine with a host who was HIGH OFF HER FACE on drugs. There was the counter of alcohol that kept us going all night, we had a lot of mingling with everyone there then when it started to get a little less wild we claimed an empty bedroom and tried the ouija board again since we were definitely less grounded than in the forest. Unfortunately the results were still a bit weak but we got a little bit of consistency with movement. There was some guy there that seemed interested but as time went on it turned out he was more interested in me than the board. I am a touched starved human being and he was playing with my hair and I was drunk so I did not care then after we ended up kissing while my other witchy friends and some new comers were chatting about the dead. My Aries witch friend lives on the other side of the city so she asked if they could stay at mine and I was like yea plus it was like 4AM at this point and this guy was getting very handsy like I just wanted my hair to be played with so I was like ok nice meeting you I gotta go. And He was like oh no please come say one last goodbye. I was too drunk to realize that he was in the bathroom and he closed to door to make out with me and I was like this is nice you do have nice flowy long hair that covers your big shiny forehead that I am now noticing in this bright fluorescent lighting but I gotta go. And he's like: No I wanna take you home I wanted to the moment I saw you. And he WHIPS OUT HIS DICK AND SAYS: this is for you. I am DYING like honestly I found it hilarious, I was so drunk I like forgot that there were other people on the other side of the door so I barge out of the bathroom like: WE ARE GOING HOME and my witchy friends saw his dick and were howling with laughter and that 10 minute walk home they would NOT LET ME BE IN PEACE about it.

Samhain Day

Anyway my friends stay over and in the morning I make tea and a light breakfast since we are hung over and we watch The Worst Witch 1980s Halloween special where we fucking Howl at laughter at everything especially Tim Curry flying around in that Cape. The rest of the day is really quiet since most of it is me sleeping trying to recover from the day before.

At 4 PM I call my relatives to say I love them and stuff cause I felt like my closest relatives on the other side of the veil wanted that. I made a feast for myself which consisted of Mashed sweet potato, a salad of chopped royal gala apples, carrots and beetroots and duck sauteed in maple syrup and bourbon. It may sound sweet but the bourbon balanced it out and duck tastes a bit sweet so it blended well with the maple flavor. After I had sticky toffee pudding for dessert. I made a plate for my ancestors and then got ready for fireworks with my other witchy friend who is the sound healer at Alexandra Palace.

I nearly missed the MASSIVE fire effigy burning cause the commute there was a NIGHTMARE since everything was still being redirected. (Thanks mercury retrograde). The fireworks were incredible though. There were so many it was like being bombarded with fiery psychedelics. My friend still wanted to show off her sexy angel outfit for Halloween so I asked if she wanted to hang out with us tomorrow night to party.

Saturday Night

She came over like at 4 and we got ready. She looked a bit like the angel from the remake of Romeo and Juliette with Leonardo decaprio but in lingerie with a long white lace robe. I dressed as a poltergeist though I don't think it came off that way but I had a sheer black dress on with a skeleton body suit, a glow in the dark wig and pale tulle. I just wanted to be a spooky ghost. We had to sneak into a members club that I work at cause I am NOT allowed to be there and I was terrified of them finding out so it felt like Danger Partying. They had a day of the dead party so I blended in but I felt like some staff that recognized me were like staring at me all night. We still had fun and spoke about our Samhain experiences. My friend is also a medium so she gave me some ouija tips so hopefully that can help me in the future.

Sunday Morning

I went to a workshop in the food forest about fire starting!! It was beautiful and magical and the forest was in full autumn mode. I learned how to chop wood with different axes and carve wood and start fires with either two pieces of wood (which is extremely hard on your own like you better be in the dryest place possible and you better have a bow), and how to start fire with flint/magnesium which is 1000% easier would highly recommend. There's so much magic in nature and so much magic in those workshops. We learned which trees were best for firewood and which were toxic and how to use bark or forage for fire starter materials. I am getting more drawn to fire as an element to work with in magic so I loved learning the techniques and also that you can start fires with the back of a knife (the teacher had a specific wood carving knife that was thick) so its like if you get a specific Athame which is ruled by fire you could also use it to start fires too if you got a fire steel key. (It's a rod of magnesium and you'd strike it with the back of the knife hard and fast and sparks will shoot out like fireworks).

Anyway that was my week so far!! It was so much fun and adventurous I couldn't have asked for a better experience. I have today off so I had a moment to reflect and get myself together for work tomorrow but afterwork I am celebrating Bonfire night with my sag witch friend at Victoria park so I am excited to take part in that!

I hope you all had a great Samhain!

[elijahfitz]

and introduction.

meet elijah.

hey guys! im lina! im 18 and im in the cst timezone. im currently a freshman in college and ive also been rping for like 6 years now ( i started on the neopets chat boards. if thats not an embarrassing fun fact idk what is ) but i havent rped since this summer since school was and still is kicking my ass. im really into musical theater, marvel & dc, and disney! i also used to be a lifeguard at a great wolf lodge for 2 years so if u want any funny stories about stupid children, or even just wanna be friends, lmk! im also SUPER sorry this intro is so late. i was gonna do it yesterday but then my friends wanted to hang and it kinda went downhill from there. im actually posting this like 20 min before i have a lab practical so i wont be able to reply until late tonight, but like this post to plot or anything!

some fun facts abt elijah:

he was adopted when he was around 3-4? he was abandoned and left on the back of a merchant cart headed to corona, where he was then discovered and then put into the local orphanage since no one was sure where he came from or who left him. all he had was a stuffed bear (named wooly), a basket of water and fruits to eat, and a letter that explained that:

his name was elijah

he was 2 (born on february 28th)

his parents couldnt care for him, so they hoped he would be found by a kind soul who could either take care of and love him, or else get him to someone who could

they loved him and only left him in the hopes that he would have a better life

he lived in the orphanage for almost 2 years and the few months before the 2nd anniversary of his arrival, rapunzel & eugene visited the orphanage that eugene grew up in and fell in love w/ eli, promptly adopting him soon after. he barely remembers anything about his abandonment and time in the orphanage, but always wanted to find his birth parents and let them know how he turned out. he kept the bear and basket in his room but carries the letter around with him in his wallet wherever he goes.

his full name is elijah frederic fitzherbert. he was given the middle name frederic in honor of his grandfather.

but, he much rather prefers eli. doesnt mind formalities but insists on people who know him to call him by his nickname. except he HATES being called “highness” bc he thinks it sounds stupid. he wont get upset per se if u keep referring to him as “your highness” but he will get annoyed

he very much wants to fulfill his role as “corona’s golden boy” by contributing back to his people. he worries for the kingdom more than he worries for himself and is always trying to prove that he is worthy of being a prince rather than just some random kid who got lucky enough to get adopted. most of his days are spent doing modest favors and helping out the townspeople or visiting the villages surrounding the kingdom.

when he’s in the castle you can almost always find him in the kitchen! boi loves to bake and cook. he loves the way food can bring joy to everyone. he often makes goods to give to the townspeople or the kids at the orphanage, where he volunteers at least every 2 weeks when hes not busy w prince stuff.

has an acute fear of disappointment. he feels so much pressure to prove his worth that came from growing up thinking if he did anything wrong he’d be sent back to orphanage, esp since his parents had another child. they wouldn’t want or need him anymore. he mostly got over this when he broke a vase when he was 12 and tried to run away from home, except he fell out the tree that he used to climb out his window and broke his leg lmao. his parents assured him that no matter what he did they would still love him and never abandon him, and his dad also taught him how to climb trees and roofs without dying (much to his mom’s chagrin). even tho hes pretty much over it, it kinda lingers subconsciously. thus, he overcompensates in everything he does and gets overly anxious about small problems

growing up he thought the stories that his dad told him about his past were so cool, despite the fact that he would almost always only hear those stories when he was being taught lessons of what he shouldnt do. he used to run around pretending to be flynn rider and his dad played along, planning play heists for them to do together (think scott & cassie in that one scene from ant man and the wasp) but they stopped when eli hit that age where he thought it was embarrassing to play w his dad. but, it really helped him bond w eugene and help him work on his coordination bc eli is CLUMSY AF

eli legit trips over nothing at least twice a day.

he bonded w his mom through art tho, which eventually turned into aesthetic desserts and meals! thats another reason why he loves baking and cooking so much.

when his 1st sibling was born when he was 5 at first he was jealous. he didnt get much attention at the orphanage due to the fact that there were so many kids and he was just starting to get used to the idea of having parents didnt have tons of kids always trying to win their affection and attention. he thought having a little sibling was the worst thing in the world and would hide from his parents bc if they couldnt find him they couldnt send him away. he hated his sibling.

until he met them. the second he saw their chubby face he was hooked. he swore that he would do anything and everything for them. and that continued when his parents adopted his other siblings as well. he absolutely adores them and acts like the protective older bro role

thankfully, with such a large age gap eli never rlly had to go through any of those petty squabbles that siblings usually have. he was always pretty protective of them tho and would fight when he thought they were being reckless and dumb out of his own fear that if they got hurt he would be an awful big brother (again, fear of disappointment)

he loves to travel bc his mom would always take him to these extravagant kingdoms and on these amazing sightseeing trips

this boy is hopeless when it comes to love. i can imagine lots of ppl liking him on top of all the ppl throwing themselves at him bc royal, but him being completely oblivious and thinking that no one likes him.

he had rlly bad ADD as a kid but its gotten better as hes grown. he still occasionally struggles w executive functioning tho and always gets rlly frustrated when he cant focus or remember

like i said earlier, clumsy af. no coordination. the only athletic ability he ever had was horse riding and running

that said he has a horse named may (short for mayonnaise. dont ask

he likes music a lot. prob learned piano at a young age

he probably is at the party bc royals? idk

EDIT: although (currently) unknown to eli, his true birth mother is maleficent. when eli was 2, his birth father took him away from her and had her suppress eli’s natural born powers. his father realized he was unfit to care for him, so he was the one who abandoned eli.

wanted connections!!

obv his parents and siblings? i mean cmon

one ( or both???? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) of his birth parents!!!!! they dont have to know that eli is their son or mayb they do and are too scared to tell him, but being trapped together will eventually make it revealed

childhood friends! people he met when he traveled w his mom or met at royal social functions? i rlly also want friends that he would hang w at all the royal galas and stuff and they would go do dumb stuff like look sneak out and look for secret passages of make bets of who could dump more crab cakes into the stuffy duchess’ purse when she wasnt looking

people who know him solely through his family

someone who likes eli and eli legit has no clue, no matter how much they flirt and drop hints

people who hate eli! or even just dislike him, which makes him upset bc he doesnt like the idea that there are ppl who dont like him in the world. mayb bc sometimes he gets super highstrung when things arent going how they should b and he like lashed out at them once or something. maybe they hate his parents and on principle hate him. idk

someone who was w eli in the orphanage

past relationships? i feel like hes never rlly had a bad breakup tho, its just that they prob just didnt work out. hes also bi so they can b any gender. hes still looking for his otp

idk, legit anything. send me those plots man

[golgoterror]

Alright, this is ungodly long, but I just wanted to talk about something regarding Jake. 

A lot of this fandom -- at least, from what I’ve seen -- label Jake as stupid. Some may even say Jake and smart are antonyms. This could not be further from the truth. It almost irritates me how much the fandom places this mischaracterization on him. Also, I get to talk about The Lad™ for about ten pages worth of words on Google docs, which is always very, very fun for me.

Well, first things first, let’s talk about the child genius and multi-billionaire polymath that is Jake English.

Puzzle Modus.

Let’s begin with something small. Jake’s modus is of puzzlekind! This is described as:

It's quite a handy modus, allowing you to captchalogue objects of any size, as long as you can fit them all in a finite space by maneuvering the cards around like a big game of Tetris. You like it because it keeps you sharp for solving any puzzles you might find when you go out raiding hallowed tombs, which is never. (x)

He likes puzzles! This is a huge headcanon I absolutely adore that has a basis in the comic: He’s a puzzles guy! This is just sort of a neat little fact about him that I adore to the moon and back. Just the idea of Jake fiddling about with a Rubik’s Cube is kind of adorable.

This is how he goes about doing everything every day of his life. I think that’s just amazing! And incredibly smart of him, I might add.

Skaianet. 

Jake is shown in the credits to take over Skaianet after the game ended. For those unfamiliar, Skaianet made many things for the game, including but not limited to: the interstellar travel we see, transportalizers, the lab by Rose’s house, all Jake’s fancy-schmancy computers, and Sburb itself. In the beta timeline, Grandpa Harley founded Skaianet. In the alpha timeline, Grandma English did. I know Jake didn’t start it up and trying to pass off his alt-timeline self as him is a bit far-fetched at best, but he had the spoons to take it over. I think that speaks volumes for Jake’s intelligence -- this implies, at the very least, he can understand mathematics and physics at a high level. Remind you of someone we already know?

It is also important to note that Jake does, in fact, build the company back from the ground up, because it went to shit before his grandmother died:

GT: Pretty sure her company made a tidy fortune til it went belly up. At least i still have a few of her knickknacks for keepsakes. (x)

So he built an interstellar company back up -- using what his intelligent grandmother had once used -- to being very useful and practical once again. 

As someone with a degree in mathematics and about to finish a degree in physics, I can say this sort of work would for sure require at the very least a decent understanding of quantum mechanics, statistical mechanics, electrodynamics, calculus (vector and differential forms), ordinary and partial differential equations, and perhaps other things like topology. I don’t know about you -- and I’m probably tooting my own horn a bit by saying this -- but I think that’s pretty nifty, if I do say so myself. 

Actor.

Once again, I’m reaching into the credits to show that Jake has become a movie star after the game ends. Memorizing all those lines, slipping into characters... Being an actor is no easy feat. 

( Side note: This leads into my headcanon that Jake can imitate accents and voices on a whim. No more arguing about whether he has a British, American, or Australian accent -- you’re all right! )

And I would like to add he has two jobs! Skaianet and being a movie star! This guy’s a fucking polymath for Christ’s sake.

Reading People.

Let’s start of simple: Brain Ghost Dirk. I can hear the outcries now of Dirk’s powers being the cause for this. And, yes, I can’t ignore Dirk’s influence in this, but Jake’s hope powers were also needed for the projection to come alive. And the fact he was able to make such a startlingly accurate projecting of Dirk in his own mind is astounding -- even BGD himself thinks so!

TT: You could view me as a projection of the real Dirk within your mind, as expressed through all of your thought patterns about him. TT: So I'm kind of a splinter of his corporeal self who happens to live in your awareness. TT: I'm a startlingly close approximation to the real thing, for all intents and purposes. GT: Just how startlingly close are we talking? TT: I'm not going to give you a bogus percentage like the glasses cause that's not my shtick. TT: But pretty damn close. (x)

A very deep understanding of the other is needed for Jake to do this. That is pretty fucking incredible. He can clearly read people really well -- he had a few times where he was cluing in on Jane and Dirk have feelings for him:

TG: its one of those things jane likes about u so much GT: It is? TG: which TG: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr im not supposed to talk about 2 u evr so nm GT: Talk about what? TG: nope GT: You mean how um... GT: Well a way in which i suppose... TG: no nope GT: Jane is prone to looking upon me with what i fathom to be more than just friendly affection? (x)

TT: I guess call it an extra birthday present. But instead of a present that's awesome, consider it more like a weird confession that may change the way you feel about me. GT: Whoa uh... GT: Dirk are you... uh... GT: Saying what i think? (x)

He’s not completely clueless on people! In fact, he seems to have a really good understanding of his friends. That’s something a lot of people seem to forget because of the incident that I will be getting to later on.

Fending For Himself.

I’ve already written quite a bit on this, but I’ll sum it up here: Jake is exceptionally good at living in the wild and taking care of himself. Sort of like a wild garden; he doesn’t need to be taken care of. Survival skills, especially around fighting and fending off things, aren’t something everyone has. This, once again, counts in his favour, even if it doesn’t line-up with “book smarts”.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

That’s five things! It’s clear Jake is, in fact, a polymath and incredibly intelligent. So, what’s with the fandom painting him as being dumb? What’s with people actually thinking he’s stupid? I think we can all take several wild guesses as to why that’s the case.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Takes things literally.

This is something that plagues Jake quite a lot. Case in point:

GT: Wow like the epic kevin costner film? TT: Almost exactly. Especially by the same degree of shittiness. GT: Oh man does that mean you have to drink your own pee?????? TT: You get used to the taste. Welcome it, even. TT: That takes about 15 days in a row of hard piss drinking though. GT: Ewwwwwwwwwwww no dude. No ew. :( TT: Relax, I don't drink any goddamn piss, ok? GT: Oh ok. Whew. (x)

But, well, let’s address the elephant in the room. The chat I laughed so hard at when I read it the first time due to pure, unadulterated second-hand embarrassment: Jake asking Jane if she had feelings for him.

Let’s analyze this, shall we? Jake starts off by being vague as all Hell, and I’ll spare those details, until finally...

GT: Just come out and say it. Do you fancy me? GG: No! GT: I see. GT: Very well then. GT: Jeez i mustve really misread that one! I feel like kind of a bone head now. (x / x)

Okay, she says no, and he backs off. That’s fine and dand--

GG: No!!!!!! GG: Oh my God, what am I saying here? GG: Jake, I didn't mean it! I didn't want to make you feel that way! GT: Now jane lets not backpedal here. GT: Youve spoken the truth and i greatly appreciate and respect you for that. GT: But now that i think about it you know what? GG: ... GG: No? :( GT: Please dont take this the wrong way but your answer is actually kind of a relief! (x)

... Oh, right. Yeah. It keeps going. It just keeps--

GT: Actually since youve made your feelings apparent and only see me as a friend that makes it a lot easier! GG: Haha, yes! GG: Friends!!!! GT: Maybe you could help me sort out some stuff that has been weighing on me lately? GG: Well what are friends for Jake!!!!! (x)

Sweet Jesus, Jake.

GG: Me? GG: HOO HOO HOO! GG: I'm just GG: Terrific! GG: I'm feeling so... GG: Friendly!!! GG: I clearly just want to be a good friend and bring all my AMAZING FRIENDLINESS to bear on your problems. GG: Friendlystyle! Ahahahah? GG: Shit I mean GG: Ahahahah! GT: Thats aces. Jane youre a sweetheart. (x)

Alright, alright, enough! You all remember the fucking chat. 

Regardless, it’s very apparent Jake takes things at face value. I also will cite him talking to Jane before her birthday, but not list examples, because what happened above will just happen once again. 

Okay, so he takes things at face value. What’s wrong with that? He trusts people to not lie to his face -- to not sugarcoat things or beat around any bushes. Perhaps I’m projecting a bit, but I do the same damn thing. I think a lot of people do! I don’t think reading things as fact over text is a good measure of someone’s intellect. All it does is show he has issues with communication. Okay, so he struggles with one thing. Sue me.

Doesn’t catch things right away.

Yeah okay I’m just gonna dump a few examples of this.

GT: Haha wow. Must have been a hell of a guy. TT: So... TT: You're not making any connections there? GT: Where? Huh? TT: Famous comedian, about the age of your grandma, inheriting the family name of the Baroness... TT: Not ringing a bell? GT: What are you talking about! Dirk stop speaking in riddles and keep telling the story i am on tenterhooks here! TT: Ok, well it's not like it's that important. Just a super obvious thing that'll probably occur to you later when you're looking in the fridge you don't have, at which point you'll feel like an idiot. GT: Oh my god you can be one opaque motherfucker just clue me in bro! TT: Nah, it'll be funnier this way. GT: STRIIIIIIDEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!! TT: Moving on. (x)

GT: Whats going on? TT: Took you long enough to figure it out. TT: Pages really are a slow burning class. Damn. GT: Figure what out! TT: You're asleep. (x)

This leads into the point above. His mind doesn’t work that way -- but that doesn’t mean he’s not intelligent. He needs everything laid out in front of him so he can make the connections and understand what’s happening, but there’s no real harm in this, and it certainly doesn’t dictate whether the guy is “intelligent” or not.

There are many, many more examples in canon depicting Jake as having difficulties with communication and you all can open most of his pesterlogs and probably find one. I’m not going to list anymore. But, hold your horses, I swear I’m getting to a point!

Difficulty reading.

A lot of the media Jake consumes is picture-based. Movies, comics, even the puzzles are most likely spacial and probably not riddles. It’s not far to imagine Jake might not be a terribly good reader, considering nobody was really around to make him read. Of course, his grandmother was around when he was little, so he can read -- and he can read just fine. But he probably isn’t very good at it simply from lack of practice. He also has terrible grammar, something Jane picks on him for, so it’s entirely possible that’s a contributing factor. He may just have trouble reading and writing.

Speaking from experience, I have dyslexia. As such, reading and writing are incredibly hard for me. I never read the books in my literature classes -- both in English and French -- but I did get the gist of the books (enough to get a decent mark in the class at least) by watching a movie adaptation of the novel. I don’t think it’s that far-off to think Jake may, indeed, do the same thing.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

NOTE: This next part is a bit hard for me to write, because I don’t want to vilify any of you. It might not have clued in on anyone or maybe you just saw Jake as a sort of comic relief and meant no harm by it. And I hope shining a light on this will make you all think twice about the guy. However, I can’t really avoid this next part, and I may get a bit emotional in it. Just a bit of a warning.

All of the above points are just me trying to say Jake probably has undiagnosed learning disabilities and perhaps autism. I don’t think I need to go into detail about how those don’t make someone “stupid”. If you think that’s the case, fuck you. I can’t argue with ableists, much less do I actually want to. 

NOTE: I wrote a thing on his speech impediments. That may be of interest too. I don’t really know, but here it is nonetheless.

My take-away message here is: just because someone struggles with socialization or other things doesn’t mean fucking anything in terms of their intelligence. Jake is very clearly smart and has the ability to read people incredibly well -- to the point of making copies of them! Perhaps it’s just a bit easy to underestimate the guy compared to other characters, though.

There are other things that muddy this up a bit, unfortunately.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Trolling.

Jake is such a fucking troll. Jesus shitting Christ, does he get a kick out of acting stupid just to make the other person look silly. Or perhaps even to make himself laugh in the process. Case in point:

uu: I WILL JUST BE YOUR PATRON DUDE. uu: OR MAYBE. YOUR PATRON MANBRO. GT: Sounds pretty gay. uu: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? GT: Whats what? uu: GAY. WHAT'S GAY YOU IDIOT FUCK. GT: Oh right. GT: Forgive me i forget you arent familiar with all of my earth lingo. GT: Its like... GT: How do i explain. GT: You know. Its a rather old fashioned term for being jolly and festive together. GT: Like "that rollicking time we had scrumming the other eve sure was gay." uu: I SEE. uu: THEN YES. YOU ARE CORRECT. uu: THIS IS GOING TO BE GAY AS HELL. (x)

Look at his goddamn face during this exchange:

That little bastard knows exactly what he’s doing. 

And these aren’t stand-alone events! Jake is very, very silly and will use the fact others see him as stupid to have a little fun. May as well, right? And, in the process, he makes others look pretty damn stupid. 

But sometimes it’s a bit hard to tell when he’s acting stupid against when he’s genuinely not getting something. I think he even fools himself sometimes! So you have to be a bit careful about fake-outs. I’m sure even the other alphas have trouble deducing when he’s doing this -- which only adds to the myth of him actually being “stupid” when viewed on first-glace.

He probably also does this with crushes, purposefully ignoring the signs because he doesn’t want to deal with it or may not believe anyone could like him that way. After all, if he’s wrong, he may think himself to be conceded and having a big head. So, he ignores the signs, thus convincing himself the feelings aren’t there. Then he gets absolutely fucking bamboozled beyond belief to find out they actually do like him. But that’s just a little side-note.

Thinks he’s stupid.

This one is just a bit... Sad. Very sad. Jake genuinely does think he’s stupid. Quite a lot, really. 

GT: I shoulda asked where he fit into the picture if you were raised alone. I can be dumb as a bag of penny candy sometimes. (x)

Just... Man, he’s been called and treated as stupid so many times, he’s at the point where he believes it. If you asked him, he’d say Dirk is a genius, Roxy is always smart and sassy, and Jane is brilliant. (I don’t have a source for that last one but... Come on. She lectures him about grammar. Don’t fuck with me.) But when it comes to himself? He can’t say the same. Of course he then acts that way. He sees himself as a burly adventurer who is also a gentleman and tries to live up to that. No where along those lines does he think he’s intelligent. And that’s just... a little heartbreaking, really, all things considered.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Can’t believe this blog is just me going, “Wanna see how fast I can talk about Jake?”, and a shit-ton of people all nodding before I talk for six hours straight. Anyway, take-home message is: Jake’s smart. Jake’s very, very smart. He’s also a himbo, but he’s incredibly smart. Just because he has learning disabilities doesn’t mean fuck-all. 

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. There are drinks and refreshments in the back. Have a safe trip home. Remember to tip your waiters and waitresses. Jesus fuck can I run this gag any harder into the ground? Giving me language was a mistake. No but, really, if you read this whole damn thing, thank you! I hope this was as fun to read as it was to write.

[ssj4]

Sorry to bother you, but I keep seeing posts about a future Goten AU and I keep getting really curious! However, when I try to find links to anything about it I end up at some abandoned URLs.

SECOND TIME TRYING TO ANSWER THIS CAUSE MY IDIOT ASS FORGOT I HAD ONE TYPED OUT AND CLOSED EVERYTHING :)

some disclaimers im getting most of this from an old draft i had written about the au, i havent watched the specific scenes in dbz and dbs that these are based on in well over 2+ years so i dont remember the timeline of events that well so im sorry if some of it just straight up doesnt make sense lol

this whole thing did start out as an excuse to replace the romantic scenes with mai in dbs with goten actually so the truten themes are pretty significant but that aside future goten is a very good boy with a much different personality and outlook on things… much like how future trunks is compared to his main timeline counterpart :3c the whole thing was developed by me and my gf together and we never rly posted too much about it and the broken links you did end up finding were probably from like the one or two times we did but here u go im glad u asked 

I HOPE THE READ MORE LINK WORKS ON MOBILE IF NOT IM SORRY

the big change is it starts out with chi chi getting pregnant before goku dies of heart disease or whatever in the android saga instead of the cell saga, so even after he dies in that timeline she still has their 2nd son and he grows up in the future timeline with trunks.

when they were kids (like 10-15) goten was stronger than trunks just bc gohan and chi chi were there to teach him just a little bit. trunks and goten sparred a lot though so he was able to keep up but never really passed him. (that part isnt really important but i figured it was a nice detail that made sense)

thats when history of trunks comes into play, and they both get really serious about gohan training them. the scene in the movie where gohan knocks trunks out before flying off and getting killed is the same except now he just knocks out 2 kids instead of 1 i guess. 

i feel i gotta add that this au was created when the future trunks arc in dbs was airing, and mai was introduced as his love interest, and honestly in my opinion the scenes were written really well but i just wasnt digging the fact that before she was granted a younger appearance she was already middle aged, like she was old enough to be his mom if that makes sense. so it really isnt a dig on mai at all cause i love her and id die for her its just the romantic plot that i didnt like. so when that was airing i thought “WELL what if that was someone else” 

she’s still with them though in this timeline and she still has her younger appearance! 

the future timeline is still progressing the same as it did in canon, the androids still wrecked the place and no one was strong enough to do much about it so trunks is still set up with a time machine to meet with the other timeline. goten stays back and does his best to protect everyone while hes gone just in case

some stuff happens in between here but skip ahead to trunks coming back from the trip after the cell games i guess! lots of stuff happened obviously like trunks literally dying, spending years in the time chamber with his dad, meeting a whole gaggle of clowns that he’d only heard stories about, seeing gohan as a preteen. hes got a lot of stuff to share!!! now hes back and he can take care of the androids + cell + and goten can catch up and lifes pretty good over there! 😇

during the rebuilding period goten would spend a lot of time with chi-chi and ox-king and still slept over there occasionally which she really appreciated, and he invited trunks and bulma over there with him frequently.

despite this he wasnt present when she died as no one really expected goku black to wipe out the landscape so far from the city, but she and ox-king died along with more than half of the population. (ugh god im so sorry queen i love you😓)

as i said before mai is still here and she’s still the leader of the resistance!

events of future bulmas death is the same as well as mai originally intending to go with trunks when they meet up together in an abandoned building. goten is already there as the three of them rest up a bit and start making their way to capsule corp. goten was planning on staying behind anyways but he wanted to see the two of them off. when goku black interrupts them as they arrive, trunks and goten encourage mai to escape, seeing as she only has a gun and everyone already knows bullets arent gonna work. 

this scene is the same as it was in canon, where trunks tries to rush black but gets beaten quickly. mai trying to buy him time to let him escape is replaced with goten actually fighting him and taking a hit for trunks but getting knocked out as mai did. trunks under extreme stress from already losing his mom today assumes hes dead instantly, (he has dumb bitch disease, he didnt even check for a pulse in canon!🤔) and fires a masenko to escape into capsule on his own 

after trunks pops back in time and black is focused on searching for him, mai sneaks back in to retrieve goten (even though they told her to leave she really just ducked behind some rubble and stayed close, because she wasnt just gonna leave them!)

she takes him back to an underground bunker with other members of earths resistance and when he wakes up she tells him that trunks made it to the time machine and that hes presumably in the other timeline now. 

idk if yall remember it well but i rewatched some of the episodes just for this, and trunks in the main timeline believing goten was killed and mai is alone and he wont be able to get back is so sad. and when he spent that day with gohan and his family and cried thinking about how if black hadn’t have shown up, he couldve had a family too… he doesnt deserve to be this sad 😥

skip to when he’s finally able to get back home with goku and vegeta with him and they make their way to the bunker where he sees mai and goten together! the scene in canon where he rushes over and starts spilling his heart out is the same, with him telling goten he thought he died

they get a really sweet hug moment here when theyre both happy to see the other is still safe and it gives both goku and vegeta some Food For Thought, because goku actually didnt know there was a goten in this timeline, and he doesnt really recognize him at first. vegeta has the idea in his head that this is probably goten.

goten never really had any sort of real attachment to his dad. it makes sense hes never met him, hes only ever really heard about him through others, (his mom, his brother, trunks, and probably bulma has mentioned him as well) so he definitely knows OF him its just that, he doesnt know him. so when he sees the real goku standing there for once a lot of thoughts run though his mind, like, “that looks A LOT like goku black!” “thats definitely my old hairstyle” and “holy shit is that my dad?” but the first thing he actually says out loud is “Holy shit its goku orange” and vegeta really almost loses it because cause any doubt in his mind about this kid being related to kakarot just went right out the window cause only someone related to him would say that

and as you probably know a lot happens after that with them all finding a way to defeat zamasu but i dont want to include all of the rest when you can probably just interpret which scenes were changed  

ANYWAYS now instead of trunks surviving the apocalypse its trunks and goten surviving the apocalypse. thats why its not a really super romantic deal like Who has time for dates when goku black Might possibly be hiding in this abandoned olive garden?? so theyre just very close and privately affectionate

the ending where trunks and mai get to live in a new world with their counterparts is the same except gotens there with them of course, dbs left their ending pretty open 

so that takes care of the story changes, heres some additional details and information on gotens character in this au! 

heres his design, drawn by my girlfriend @ssj2 uwu !! 

he kept his natural hairstyle for a while, but i think he changed it sometime during the rebuilding period after the androids and just let it grow out a bunch. up until then he kept his natural style purely to honor the guy he’s heard so fondly of even if it brought him a lot of mixed feelings when people said he looks just like him. a really distinct feature about his new hairstyle is that the spikes look like horns and i love that a lot !!

and the shawl he wears was the same one chi chi wore 

some personality traits for future goten is that he has a habit of bottling up his negative emotions and has trouble taking care of himself, as hes always more focused on the well being of his loved ones. he can be mischievous and cocky but hes not overconfident (or he hasnt been since gohans death) however in some situations he can be charismatic and assertive which works really well imowhen their timeline is erased and theyre temporarily in the main timeline, goten gets to meet a bunch of people like gohan and his family, chi chi, and even his counterpart 

sorry if this post was messy i wasnt really sure how i wanted to make it look and im kinda bad at dumping information out so if any of its confusing just redirect me to it and ill try again gdjfksjdgsfk 😭❤

hmmm anyways thank u for reading!! its an au we made years ago and we love a lot and i hope u do too! be nice pls!! and send asks about it if you’d like cause its fun to think about! 

[ethxndolan]

Grayson Dolan Must Die (G.D) Part 6

Summary: Grayson Dolan is known as the schools womanizer. His ability to make a girl fall in love with him, and drop her within a week is legendary. When a series of events peaks Grayson’s interest in Y/N, she is recruited by three of his exes to break his heart in a very public way and exact revenge for all the pain he has caused. However, nothing goes according to plan… and Y/N may be in way over her head navigating the whit and charm that is Grayson Dolan.

A/N: Some comments have come up about the originality of my story so I wanted to make it perfectly 100% clear that this is based off the movie John Tucker Must Die (highly recommend), the set up for the story as far as the three girls recruiting an average looking girl to help take down the most popular guy in school is from that movie. Because my story is based off of a movie there are many others out there that are just like it and if that makes you uncomfortable or you aren’t ok with it then you don’t have to read it and thats chill, and I respect ur decision. I wrote this just because I thought it would be fun to play around with the plot of the movie, particularly I had the idea of mixing things up and changing the way the ending plays out (if you’ve seen the movie you’ll know what I mean at the end of this part its my own idea, i mean as far as i know… i’m sure something similar has probably been done before it’s not a ground breaking idea). So thx for reading that novel i just accidentally wrote explaining this, i just wanted to be absolutely clear. There’s plenty more imagines and stories coming from me in the future, so if this isn’t ur jam maybe something later will be. 

Word Count: 1,020

MASTERLIST

I knocked on Gray’s front door nervous as hell. I kept trying to convince him to meet me at the library or something, but he insisted that we do it at his house. I told the GDMD girls about it and everyone was cool with it except for Rachel. For some reason she had a real complex about me being alone with Grayson, and I suspected she wasn’t actually completely on board with the plan.

Gray opened the door and smiled at me. He was wearing a football t-shirt and shorts, his hair was its usual messy, floppy self that I could just imagine running my fingers through. He looked way more relaxed than he usually did at school. “Come in,” he said as he opened the door wider.

I followed him up the stairs and into his room, watching as he shut the door behind us. He looked at me as I stood there nervously, not really sure what to do. “Relax, tutor. I don’t bite… unless you’re into that kind of thing.” He laughed at his own joke.

I groaned, but couldn’t help suppress the smile that spread across my face. I felt far more relaxed now that we were falling into our usual roles bantering with each other. “Please, biting is so vanilla.” He choked on his laugh. 

“You got me there, tutor. Luckily, I’m up for anything.” He winked at me.

I shook my head laughing. “Anyway, how about we focus on the chemistry home work. You know, the actual reason I’m here.”

We sat down on his bed and went over the chemistry homework. He was actually picking up the information way quicker than I thought, it seemed like he just needed stuff explained with examples which wasn’t something out teacher usually did. Throughout the hour it was like my body was hyper aware of every little movement and breath he took. I could barely think every time he “accidentally” brushed my hand or when he looked deeply into my eyes as he asked a question. His eyes killed me. 

I actually kind of liked being around him like this. Without all of his dumb football friends and the pressure of school, he didn’t seem like such a bad guy.  We interacted with each other super easily, continuing to joke around while we talked about chemical compounds. 

It was easy to forget why I was actually here so I had to keep reminding myself that he was probably playing me. It didn’t feel like he way playing me though. He leaned in close allowing for only inches to separate our faces and said, “Go out with me.” It wasn’t a question, but rather a soft demand.

“What?” I practically choked out, “I thought you were kidding about that. I really don’t care about making Connor jealous, I’m not that kind of person. I mean except for when I kissed you… but that was an in the moment thing. I kind of moved on from the whole thing, actually,” I said as my eyes fell to his soft plump lips.

He shook his head. “No, I mean I actually want you to go out with me. Fuck Connor, this has nothing to do with him.”

My breath caught. “Really?” He nodded. My heart was racing at this point and I knew what my answer was supposed to be yes to go along with the plan. But, saying yes meant furthering the plan and getting that much closer to hurting Grayson. Remembering the video, I ignored my fear and just said, “Okay.”

His eyebrows shot up in response. “Gotta be honest, I was really expecting you to put up a fight. I was willing to resort to bribery or blackmail.” He smirked. 

“What could you possibly blackmail me with?” I knew we were joking around and having fun, but being blackmailed rang a little to close to home.

“I would tell everyone you’re secretly bad at chem and you’re not the nerd you pretend to be. It would be super believable following the explosion you caused a few days ago.”

I laughed and pushed him lightly. “You’re so annoying! It was your fault too!”

— Grayson’s POV

I hung up my phone in shock. Ethan had just called to tell me that there was a rumor going around that I was the one who caused the fire which resulted in our school spirit shed to burn down. That thing was sacred, constantly being painted over and over again over the last 50 years of the school promoting various clubs and sports games. I had done some fucked up shit… but not that.

I couldn’t believe people were suspecting me of arson?

I was lost deep in my thoughts when there was a knock at the door. I smiled as I opened it, expecting to see Y/N because she had only left a few minutes ago. I was hoping she had forgotten something.  My smile fell when I saw Rachel standing there. “What the fuck do you want?” I asked.

She pushed passed me and into my house. “I know something interesting you might want to know about.” I thought she was talking about the school spirit shed, but when I didn’t respond right away she said, “about a certain lab parter you seem so fond of.”

I glared at her not saying anything. She wiggled nervously, unable to meet my eyes. People had a hard time keeping eye contact with me, I knew it was because I came off as intimidating, but that was the point. Y/N never had a problem with it though.

“Apparently she’s gotten wrapped up in some plot that involves humiliating you in front of the whole school.” I said nothing so she continued on. “She wants to make you fall for her, and then she’s going to dump you in front of the whole school. She’s trash, Gray. She’s just trying to bring you down. You need to stay away from her.” She stepped closer to me and put her clammy hand on my arm. I shrugged it off.

“Why should I believe you?”

“Because Y/N, Sabrina and Megan asked me to help them. They told me all about their plan. Why do you think Y/N’s been dressing different? Paying more attention to you than normal? Why would a girl like that be interested in you? She’s beneath you. They’re all jealous and vengeful bitch’s and they want to hurt you.”  

[godwhyiseveryusernametaken]

the last of me to you

this is dumb, both of us know this is dumb and i know nothing i say rn would make you care, cause u dont. never did never will .but i'm going to anyway, cause honestly i cant stop thinking about you, its sad and pathetic but true and whoever i tell gets annoyed cause they know im wasting my time and theirs. Because we all know that my name never crosses ur mind, but youre on my mind constantly and i hate it cause ur in love with her. and i dont blame you, she's perfect, and u deserve nothing less. but honestly i hate her, shes a bitch and its because of her i dont have you. and sure u could say why would i wanna be with someone if it was all fake. But the thing is i really don't believe it was all fake. it couldn't be, i'm not that much of an idiot. And ik u told her "u only dated me for the hook ups" but i find it hard to believe ur that big of a dick and plus me and u both know u could have gotten that without the trouble of dating me. i probably sound dumb to you cause u made it clear there were never feelings, plus this happened over three months ago and i told u id get over it in a week. but uk, peoples plans dont always turn out they way we plan them to, we would be a perfect example for that. the thing is i was supposed to be over you so long ago but not. you see, i told u; its super pathetic, im super pathetic. i keep thinking about the little moments, like that saturday, we walked around the campus for a bit and we kissed a bunch and u put ur arms around my waist and idk i loved it. obviously thursday and friday meant so much to me too but u made it clear that all that was all a way to get me vulnerable enough to let you in, just for u to get some action . but idk u shared too much for it to be all about the hook ups, friday was probably one of the best nights of my life. it was everything to me and i dont think u get how i loved that night. and i regret a lot regarding the story of us and although the fact you used me just to get ur dick sucked when you knew how much that meant to me really hurt and was a huge regret on my part. nothing even compared to the hurt and regret that came when i got a glimpse of what we could be, than to have it taken away by little miss perfect. cause the second you saw an opportunity with her, you drop me like it was all nothing, probably was, to you at least.it But all it did was give me what i needed to imagine what it couldve been something i shouldnt even be thinking about. but i couldnt help myself. i created conversations and events that wouldve happened. how everything would be so different if you were still mine and i was still urs. how happy i would be rn. but yesterday you looked happy, for the most part at least. though ik while i was thinking about you and how i would kill to be with you and to just spend time with you again and be together. you were thinking about her, how you would kill to be with her and spend time with her, be with her, alone together. But now she doesn't want you anymore. i told you shes a bitch and she got what she wanted so she dropped you. like u did me. and i guess its karma but i didn't want it to be like this. and ik i should be happy that she dumped u cause now u kind of get it. but im not cause part of me was happy that u were happy but the 90% part of me wanted u to be happy with me. But i guess i didnt make u happy and ive accepted that and idk what else to say other than i just missed u i guess. and i dont want to be friends cause ik me and ik itll always be torture just being ur friend. even now i always have these little day dreams where were together and u come over all the time and my mom loved u cause ur a decent boy thats legit perfect. and part of me keeps holding on to that one in a million scenario where were back together and u like me just as much as i like u but i know thatll never happen cause id always just be the hook up right. anyways idk what the point of this was i just wanted to get it all out of my system. i hope this changes things, maybe. probably not.