#she's not a horrible parent or anything. she is a supremely flawed one though.

[hylianengineer]

I think it's a good metric of having Seriously Fucked Up as a parent if your children are getting together to compare notes on your greatest failings. Just. Putting that out there.

[starfanatic]

Luke Skywalker vs Rey... Nobody

I hate the argument that a lot of sequel trilogy stans use whenever anyone criticized Rey or labels her a Mary Sue. It’s probably the weakest argument a sequel stan can ever possibly say to me. (Besides the people hate Rey because she’s a women argument).

Lets compare them shall we?

Luke Skywalker in A New Hope is whiny, inexperienced, and very naive. There is multiple moments in a new hope that proves this. When he was whining about not wanting to stay on the moisture farm and wanting to join the Academy like his friend, Biggs. He constantly was slightly annoying throughout the film, especially to Han. When Han named his price and Luke was like “We can buy our own ship with that!” or when Han was flying the Milennium Falcon and Luke was practically yelling in his ear to go into hyperspace. Han and Luke did not get along at first because of Luke’s behavior. Luke went against Obi-Wan’s orders and saved Princess Leia, not thinking of the consequences. How he could possibly be killed or put in a cell with the Princess. He doesn’t think of a plan to get out AFTERWARDS only the spur of the moment. He was constantly shown to be inexperienced and needed his friends help or HE WOULD HAVE DIED THE FIRST MOVIE. While on the millennium falcon, Obi-Wan taught him things about the force. Maybe not a lot but he knew how to use the simple basics of it. Like sensing the force and letting it guide your actions (as Obi-Wan was trying to teach him before). For once Luke listened and trusted Obi-Wan and destroyed the death star.

Lets do Rey now WHOOP. So far the only personality flaw she seems to have is that she’s also naive? She had the same wide-eyed innocence as Luke had but it’s different and here’s why. Rey never suffers for any of her so-called almost non-existent flaws. Rey is experienced enough to hold her own in a fight against men WAY stronger then her (that’s realistic though but that’s one tool in her belt). She’s bilingual. She can fly the millennium falcon better then Han Solo even though she never flew one before. She is constantly saving people by herself, never the one being saved. (Before y’all bust my balls, Rey escaped that damn starkiller base by her damn self. Luke didn’t and couldn’t). She uses powers that takes years to learn and the excuse is the force dyad. So she downloads Kylo’s skills and training. Great. Magnificent. Rey is on a amazing start. And this is the first movie! She can only get stronger from here.

Luke is more mature and responsible in ESB. He’s a respected hero of the rebellion. Luke still struggles using the force. Even with the training Luke goes through with Obi-Wan he had to truly focus to pull the lightsaber to him. Plus as a common occurrence, he still needed help from his friends. He’s not invincible. He actually gets severely hurt (makes sense). He goes to Dagobah to get trained (because unlike Rey he doesn’t have the “learn force jedi shit that takes years to learn” cheatcode). And then he’s impatient. He wants to learn how to use the force so he can help his friends. Luke is again reckless, impatient, and he’s also insecure in his own belief. Him not believing he can lift the X-wing was why he couldn’t. Against his master’s and Obi-Wan’s orders he decides to save his friends. It’s a noble reason to but it still got him fucked up. He got his hand cut off, he was beaten and humiliated, and then he was told a horrifying revalation that twisted around everything he knew and believed. He was scared of Vader, you can see it on his face, but he did not succumb to fear.

Rey goes to the island to convince Luke to go help them fight the war. Why doesn’t Leia go instead? Who knows. Why does Luke act the way he does? Who knows. Luke dismissed her and was quite rude to her. Rey was having cute little talks with Kylie Renner in their little force dyad BS. She called him a monster and a murderous snake. I like the insults. It fills me with joy! But then she finds out the truth. Rey did do something reckless and stupid but as usual she doesn’t suffer the consequences to her actions. Technically she’s morally superior to Luke because she saw the good in him and felt like she could turn him to the light (after slicing his face open. Ok). Rey decides to give herself up to the First Order thinking Kylo would save her. And he does. So she wasn’t even wrong... Rey fight the very elite guards of the (bootleg emperor palpatine) Supreme Leader Snoke. Reminder, TFA and TLJ are like 3-4 days apart. She had zero training within these days. Luke refused to train her so don’t start that bullshit. Luke trained her for like 5 minutes and none of that training had anything to do with lightsaber dueling. Rey is then told she was a nobody. Now why did Rey cry about this? I truly don’t know. How the hell would Kylo accurately know that Rey’s parents were nobody? Didnt Rey been know this from the force awakens? Eh whatever. She tries to force pull the lightsaber from Kylo Ren and do a dumbass tug a war instead of walking up and grabbing it. It reminds me of JJ and Rian fighting over where the star wars sequels). Anakin must be screaming and yelling from above... or below... idk. The lightsaber then breaks. Rey then saves her friends by showing her once again superior piloting skills that rival or is possibly better then Anakin Skywalker himself. Hitting 3 in one shot? You go girl! She then uses the force to effortlessly move the big ass boulders out of the entrance to save the resistance. Last I remember... Luke struggled to do that with a few way smaller rocks and was also focusing hard to do.

Luke is finally at jedi status! Woohoo! Now Luke first saves Han from Jabba. It shows his very dark side tendencies by choking the guards (like father like son). Luke thinks of a actual plan before going in (CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT). Luke “Chanel Boots” Skywalker goes to Yoda on his death bed. All he wants is answers but Yoda wants to be cryptic as fuck. Luke has been lied to for years by his mentors and his family. Luke’s father isn’t hero Anakin Skywalker but actually a big, asthmatic, merciless, murderous asshole who has a choking kink. Luke then says he cannot kill his own father and Obi-Wan, who believes Vader isn’t a human but a machine, has no faith in Luke. He believes that Luke will fail and the Empire would win. Luke feels the conflict and good in him that nobody else does. He knows that Vader is unloyal to the emperor and he actually cares about his own son. When he is with Han and Leia he realizes he made a mistake and has a bad feeling about it. (*gasp* Luke is not being super reckless). He’s not arrogant (not in anyway) but he’s completely confident that Vader would turn. (He isn’t flawless there is still obvious problem with this plan he has. He fails, the empire wins. He dies, the emperor wins. Vader doesn’t turn, Luke fails. Luke almost succumbs to the dark side and it’s actually plausible he might fully turn. He wants to desperately save his friends and his father has done horrible things to Luke. Luke had every reason to kill Vader. But he doesn’t. He throws the lightsaber away and foolishly puts his life in Vader’s hand. Luke doesn’t save the galaxy because he can make things levitate with the force. He wins because he had the strength to resist the dark side and has so much love and pure good in his heart he saw the good in his father.

Rey starts off with a training session (no idc it’s too fucking late now. 3 movies in? Is she doing reverse character development?) and basically Poe gets mad at Rey for not accompanying them on missions. I still don’t know why she needs training, when she is at a decent strength to fight elite guards, fight kylo ren, and a variety of other things that typically takes a long time to learn. After finding out Palpatine returned, Rey goes on a mission to find the way finder almost like a shitty videogame. I don’t even want to talk about the force dyad anymore because it’s fucking dumb. Rey gets chased by the force order and hear this out, FORCE HEALS (i forgot what the animal was but idrc). Which means Rey had the power to stop the painful truth of death themself. Why am I not surprised? Rey did something that no other jedi nor sith or jedi have ever done this. Anakin went to the dark side to save the ones he love. This movie was just a slap in the face to Anakin. Rey then fights Kylo Ren and lost??? again it seems a little too late and it also didn’t make sense. Rey defeated those guards all by herself with Kylo needed help from her. She’s obviously the better lightsaber duelist but hey, at least JJ was trying to mellow her out a bit. Rey stabs him while our beloved Princess died. She then regrets her decision and as always, doesn’t have any consequence to her actions. By the force I forgot, the whole scene where she is revealed as a Palpatine? Completely invalidates the first two movies but eh whatever. She uses a power that only the elite sith does... something Kylo Ren himself could not do (and he’s on the dark side). Rey “killed” Chewie but actually no she didn’t because Chewie is perfectly fine. Rey is supposed to be all dark and edgy now, “you don’t know me” BS. Yeah I’m sorry I won’t tolerate this because my only allergy is the fish smelling coochie bullshit called the sequel trilogy. Rey got scared of her dark self. Well at least JJ tried? Rey then almost gives up but Luke was like “nah fam you cant”. Rey dies trying to fight Palpatine but then as usual, she gets zero consequence cuz Benny Simp saved her using the force. Then she kissed him... no. No. No. This made my eyes burn like they just threw bleach in my eyes. It made no sense. “A Kiss of Gratitude”? What the shit was that? GIRLS DO NOT INSPIRE TO BE REY.

[honhonluigi]

I'm curious. You've said you dislike religion (which is valid as fuck and I have the same opinion), but if that's the case then why is Angie one of your favorite characters?

(I don't mean anything offensive or anything by this, by the way! If it makes you uncomfortable feel free to delete it.)

No, no, man, I totally get it. I’m sure it looks confusing from the outside. I can explain myself no problem. 

I guess it’s probably important to give a little explanation of why I hate religion so much, because it’ll make more sense then. I don’t hate religion because I’m an atheist. I am an atheist because of evidence and facts. Because I want to draw my conclusions based on fact and evidence. If I saw what I thought was undeniable proof of any god’s existence, I’d change my mind. Nah, I hate religion because I was raised in a cult. Not like a “my parents were heavily evangelical/strict” way. My parents were actual official members in an actual cult, listed as a cult by government officials (though they’re considering removing it from the list which would be a supremely bad idea.) You look up all the fucked up things that cults do? Those lists of “How To Tell If You’re In A Cult?” You’re describing this religion to a tee. It gets an A+ in every aspect of cultism. It wasn’t a cape-and-fire-chanting-in-the-woods cult. Those aren’t real. This was a Christian-based cult. (Most real-life cults are. Aside from like...Scientology maybe?) But they weren’t just Christians who took it seriously, like I said. It was a separate cult religion and the entire religion is officially cited as a cult. It was just Christianity-based. See if you can guess what it is. Based on the clues I gave I’d say there’s like...two choices. 

Anyway, that’s why I hate religion. Because I’ve seen and suffered first-hand all the damage that religion can cause innocent people. Not just in religious wars and acts of prejudice, but just in individual thought and life control aspects and so much fucking trauma. In torment and guilt and wasted years. In passed opportunities and ended relationships and sexual repression. Religion sucks. (In my opinion, all religions are fundamentally cults at their core. Or they would be, if the worshippers actually adhered strictly to the rules that they made. Which they usually don’t, hence why most mainstream religions aren’t thought of as cults.) I hate religion for the core principles of ‘sinning’, hell/heaven/paradise, good vs evil, thought-crime, religion-over-family, faith, not thinking for yourself, and believing whatever you’re told. That’s so damaging. But I don’t hate religion just because “lol it’s so stupid, I can’t believe people believe that shit!” or “religion is just too mainstream for me!” I can see why people would believe that in the old days, when things couldn’t be explained by science. I hate all religions, even the non-mainstream ones like wicca and shit. And I actually think studying ancient religions is really interesting. It’s an aspect of culture, and I can respect that. 

What does this have to do with my opinion of Angie? A lot, actually. I didn’t just go off on a religion rant for no reason. 

So, for starter’s, I don’t hate religion because I think it’s “too stupid to be believable” or that being religious is “too mainstream”, like I said. I don’t look down on religious people for being stupid, gullible, or trend-followers (more on that later.) That means that I can still respect Angie as a person, even if she’s religious. That’s important to know going forward. 

But the main reason is, I hate religion, not religious people. I hate the institution of religion, any religion. I hate the ideas that it carries and the practices it puts into play. But Angie is not any of those things. She’s just a person. She’s not responsible for any of the things that any religion, including hers, will do. She just believes in it. She, as a person, is not the thing that is doing all the damage I hate so much. Maybe her religion is, but she as an individual is not. 

Religious people are victims. I know. I was there. 10 years ago, I was an indoctrinated, god-obsessed homophobe, shivering in anticipation of a doomsday when god slaughtered billions of sinners. I won’t say I was different, and I always knew something was wrong about religion. No, I believed like everyone else. I was indoctrinated as much anybody. Religious people can’t help what they believe. They are the victims of peer pressure, cultural expectations, propaganda, lack of information/education, deliberate thought control, family pressures, and many other factors. Trust me when I say: they really can’t control what they believe. That’s why it’s pointless to argue with them. Their beliefs don’t come from logic. They are all victims. And I see everyone in my former cult as a victim, not an enemy. They really can’t help it. I can’t express that enough. 

So it’s not Angie’s fault that she’s so deeply ingrained in a religion. It’s not a character flaw for her, and it doesn’t make her evil or bad. In fact, it makes me like her more. I feel sorry for her. I sympathize with her. I was exactly where she was when I was 13. I know to everyone else, Angie’s religion is just a caricature or a joke. But to me, it makes her character deeper, more interesting, and sadder. 

Also, Angie’s not a cultist. Oh, this one makes me so mad. Everyone who says “Angie is in a cult!” or “Angie became a cult leader!” has absolutely no idea what an actual cult is like. The DR writers don’t know. The fans don’t know. It’s nothing like what Angie does. She never becomes a cult leader. Trust me. I would fucking know. 

When she becomes Student Council President or w/e, the Student Council has nothing to do with her religion. She’s doing that because she believes she knows what’s best to stop people from killing each other. She’s not doing it because “my religion is right and you all need to convert!” Otherwise, she’d have done that at the start. The rules she makes, like the night time curfew, have nothing to do with religion. (Also, her rules about flashback lights and night time curfews were completely correct and were good ideas, but go off I guess.) Yeah, she might say “Atua told me to do this!” But all hyper-religious people credit their creativity, ideas, or achievements to god. Whether or not those had anything to do with religion. She’s doing it because she has ideas that she thinks can help, not because she wants to push her religion. 

Case in point: in order to join her Student Council, you don’t have to believe in Atua. You don’t have to convert. K1-B0 and Himiko make that choice, but Tsumugi and Tenko don’t. And Angie doesn’t care. You’re allowed to be one of their group without sharing Angie’s religion. And once Angie’s Student Council is in power, then what? Fucking nothing. She doesn’t force anyone else to convert to her religion either. Even the people who didn’t join the student council. They’re allowed to not believe. She never approaches them being like “you have to join my religion now that I’m in power.” And she still treats Shuichi and Kaito as politely and friendly as always. (Not Maki and Kokichi, but for obvious reasons. She was right not to trust Maki, after what they learned about her.) Angie not once ever uses her power to push or pressure or threaten or force anyone to worship Atua with her. It doesn’t happen. She’s not a cult leader. If she was, it wouldn’t be optional. There would be grotesque amounts of threats, social isolation, pressure, etc even to those in her own student council if they didn’t believe. I won’t go into detail here, but trust me, it would be so fucking different if her little group actually followed the criteria for being a cult. Even when Tenko goes behind Angie’s back and escorts Shuichi into the school after dark, Angie doesn’t threaten her or oust her. She forgives her. She doesn’t say “no one is ever allowed to talk to you again” or “you have to do a horrible punishment” or “you have to die”. She just...forgives her. Yeah, she insults her a little, but she has a right to be angry after being lied to, betrayed, and used by Tenko. Still, she forgives her. Also: Tenko being in the school after dark and Angie being upset at that has nothing to do with Angie’s religion at all. The rule of not being out after dark doesn’t either. 

Also, her actions before her rise to power weren’t culty either. Angie never pushed her religion on anyone. I hate people like that. People who want to force others to believe the way they do. They’re the fucking worst and the scum of the earth. Some of the worst, most evil people alive, in my opinion. Angie’s not like that. She only talked to people about her religion if they asked her. As she explained to Tenko “I wasn’t brainwashing anyone. I was just answering questions.” Himiko, Gonta, and K1-B0 asked her questions because they were curious about her religion. She answered them. When they showed interest, she kept talking to them about it. They were the ones who said they wanted to convert. She never even asked them. And then when they wanted to, she welcomed them with open arms. They approached her. All she did was speak openly and honestly with them. She never forced anyone to convert to her religion. She never even forced anyone to listen to her talk about her religion. When Kaede and Shuichi got uncomfortable about it and changed the subject, she let it fucking go. She stopped talking about it. She never made the first move when talking to someone about Atua. They always approached her first. That’s definitely not culty. That’s just a religious person being honest when they’re asked questions, or getting excited when someone shows genuine interest in their beliefs. Of course she would be excited. These are her friends, and she truly believes that her religion is correct. She would be happy to see them safely in it. In her eyes, it’s the only place where they’re safe. Also, if she was truly a bad religious person, she would think that everyone who didn’t convert to her religion deserved to die. Mark of cults. But she doesn’t. She loves all her classmates, tries to keep them safe, and prays for them when they do die. Also, she believes that they get into Atua’s kingdom simply for being good people, even when they don’t believe in him. That’s definitely not culty. A cult is like “everyone who doesn’t worship like you is always evil, and they always deserve to die, and if they don’t convert then they are not worth saving. If you don’t believe in our religion you will definitely be killed at judgement day no matter what.”

But, most importantly: Angie’s religion is not the only aspect of her character. Angie’s religion actually has nothing to do with my opinion of her. I like her because she’s cute, bright, hopeful, happy, and persistent. She’s kind and selfless and she tries her best to keep everyone happy. She’s confident in herself, even if other people ridicule her. She’s got an interesting twisted side to her, with her composure in the face of death and her desire for blood sacrifices. But that doesn’t stop her from being kind and friendly to everyone. And she’s surprisingly smart, in her own ways. And appropriately ruthless when going after her goals, which is always something I admire. (I loved that she was willing to turn on Himiko when it seemed obvious that Himiko was the culprit, instead of obnoxiously ignoring facts like Tenko. Um, hello? If Himiko is the culprit, you all die? And if she’s the culprit, she’s trying to kill everyone, which kind of gives Angie the right to revoke her friendship from Himiko, yeah?) Angie’s character goes so much deeper than her religion. As far as her religion influencing my opinion of her, it...doesn’t. I pretty much just ignore it. I love her for who she is, not what she believes. 

[ssironstrange]

For a Dr. Peperony situation how would Tony and Stephen react to Pepper saying she wanted to adopt a baby? If you have any ideas I would appreciate it, Thank you.

i’ve actually touched on this briefly in this ask but i can expand on it a bit more.

they’d both be thrilled honestly. tony has been in Dad Mode for a while and he’s so fuckin ready. Stephen is a little more reserved if only because he has a lot of doubts with his hands being as unreliable as they are, he’s never liked kids very much, and much like tony he has a whole lotta daddy issues. thats okay by tony and pepper. they work with him on it, test the waters by visiting hospitals and orphanages to play with babies. stephen refuses to hold any, he’s just too damn scared of his hands failing him. even though he knows he can just use his magic, its still just that overwhelming anxiety. they would all attend some therapy together as well as individually (because even as ready as tony is he is the first to admit his own flaws and would want to have his own issues worked out before going through with it.) and then, of course, they understand he can’t put off being sorcerer supreme because of this. if reality is threatened, he still has to go defend it.stephen has a discussion with them though. he’s ready and willing to give it a shot but he wants to make sure that if being a dad isn’t his thing its not going to change anything between them. that he wouldn’t be any less of a husband for it. because, obviously he would still be a parental figure, he would still love the child, but he’s still afraid he just doesn’t have what it takes to be “dad”, like tony manages so easily. but of course they wouldn’t love him any less for that. so they put his fears to rest and adopt a little girl.

the first few days are rough. their already horrible sleep schedules are even worse with her waking up in the middle of the night. stephen has done well with pretty much everything but he’s still refusing to hold her. until (and i’m taking this from one of my prompts with them and baby morgan) one night tony and pepper wake up to humming over the baby monitor and stephen isn’t in bed. they spy him on the monitor humming and holding her while swaying/slow dancing. he’s definitely dad material. he’ll never be tony’s levels of dad, but he has his own ways.

[orbemnews]

The Coronavirus Crossroads: the Vaccinated, the Stymied and the Waiting For a vast majority of Americans, a coronavirus vaccine is like sleep for a new parent: It’s all you can think about, even if you have no idea when you will get it. People are scrolling through perpetually crashing websites at 3 a.m., or driving 150 miles each way in the snow. Others are lining up at grocery stores for hours on end, hoping to snag a leftover shot, or racing to hospitals amid rumors of extra doses. Many more are tossing in bed in the dark, praying that tomorrow will be their mother’s lucky day. A small portion — about 11 percent — have received one or two shots of the vaccine, leaving the nation in a medical and cultural interregnum. Some of those with only one shot are in a precarious limbo, in states snarled over second-dose distribution. Byzantine rules setting up tiers of the eligible mean most will be holding their collective breath for months down the road, as another set moves gingerly toward the restoration of their lives on the other side of the divide. “I’ve been struck with the outpouring of grief and loss that the obstacles to getting the vaccine has generated,” said Niti Seth, 73, a psychologist and department dean at Cambridge College in Boston. She has been unable to get a vaccine appointment, despite spending all hours of the day and night online reading and clicking. “A glimpse of the possibilities of reclaiming our lives has led, paradoxically, to a more palpable sense of what we had to give up,” Ms. Seth said. Debates over masks, indoor eating, testing availability and school reopenings all now center on a single axis: the lagging rollout of the vaccine. It is the alchemy of “unrelenting waves of exhaustion, fear, hope, uncertainty and pandemic fatigue,” said Lindsey Leininger, a health policy researcher and a clinical professor at the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth in Hanover, N.H. “I stay focused on the lotus mud metaphor and think about how gosh-darned beautiful we are all going to be when we come out the other side.” Still, although cases and hospitalizations continue to decline, and as the pace of vaccinations picks up, some Americans — including those now vaccinated and ostensibly protected — are approaching the spring and summer with quite a bit of trepidation. The divide is still quite wide between the haves and the have-nots, and many fear that even a vaccinated nation and world won’t restore a sense of safety or security. Weeks into the rollout, there are stories of heroism, supreme luck and perseverance, and those of ignominy, and widespread inequality. Some post their injections and vaccination cards on social media, while their friends and neighbors contemplate a spring of double masking, a tool in the race between vaccines and the new, more contagious variants of the virus snaking their way across the nation. The Nextdoor website has become an outpost for sightings of vaccination sites, as neighbors rush to refresh their browsers. There are tales of resentment and stories of guilt. Marsha Henderson has become a bit of a shot whisperer with her friends in Washington D.C., after securing doses for herself, her husband and their 40-year-old daughter who works in health care. Many of the sites on the city’s websites turned out to not have any vaccines, so she realized she needed to only check times for grocery stores. She gamed out times to recheck. “You have to have the ability to be on a computer in the middle of the day and sit there,” said Mrs. Henderson, who is 71. She became so good at it, an ambassador’s wife called her for tips. Still, she said, her second shot on Wednesday,“won’t change my behavior.” “I am more comfortable with the Comcast man to fix my computer, and there is some rain damage I need to get fixed,” she said. “But I will be doing carry out and outdoor dining probable for another year, in part because we don’t know the variants.” In New York, Jamie Anderson emailed a nonprofit group in northern Manhattan on behalf of her father, Jimmy Mattias, who is 66. “The nonprofit called me on Tuesday to get his details,” said Ms. Anderson, who lives in the Bronx, not far from her father in Washington Heights in Manhattan. “He was called on Wednesday to confirm an appointment, and Thursday morning he had his first dose. It was so fast, I truly couldn’t believe it.” Mr. Mattias, who works as a manager at a storage center, said extra efforts had been made to vaccinate people his age, but he had no intention of making the effort on his own because he feared missing work. “She’s my daughter, and she is looking out for me,” he said. His co-workers and bosses are all younger, jealous yet thrilled for him, while friends his age are skeptical. “Some don’t think the system was designed to create a vaccine that quickly,” he said. “I tell them this is not the 1800s, things happen faster. Let’s face the facts, this is a horrible situation.” Catherine Sharp, a freelance photographer in Brooklyn, like many New Yorkers, has had less luck. Ms. Sharp, 26, relocated to Illinois recently to help her parents, a relocation that has developed into a part-time job trying to get shots for her father, 67, who has been living in Katonah, N.Y., and her mother, 65, in Morris, Ill. “It was like a sneaker drop,” she said. “You are not going to get the Off-White sneakers. It’s just impossible.” As she waited, both she and her mother contracted the virus, and her mother, a cancer survivor, was hospitalized. “This is my worst nightmare,” Ms. Sharp said. “I know some of my mom’s friends have gotten it. I just don’t understand the algorithm. A good 40 percent of my time is spent on this. I wake up, I get my coffee and say, “I gotta do this.’” For a few of those at the back of the line — largely younger, healthier people who are working from home — luck and perseverance can pay off in a split-second, sometimes with a side of guilt. Darla Rhodes lives in Pasco, Wash., is 47 and works remotely for a start-up. Even though she has diabetes, she did not think she would be getting a vaccine anytime soon. But when the assisted living center where her grandmother lives offered vaccines to residents, and some of them refused them, the vaccinators had 30 minutes to get those shots in people’s arms or supplies would perish. Her sister, who happened to be dropping off groceries for their grandmother, got the ball rolling. Ms. Rhodes likened the sudden access to flying standby. “It was utterly unexpected,” Ms. Rhodes said. “But I jumped in the car, drove 15 minutes, filled out some paperwork and got a shot.” After posting about her experience on Facebook, she said, “One person said, ‘Hey I can’t even get a shot for my grandma,’ and my response was it was either that or it goes to waste.” Doug Heye, a Republican consultant in Washington, D.C., had heard about the trick of lining up at grocery stores, in the hopes of getting any remaining doses that were not used for residents given high priority, like those ages 65 and older, or frontline and essential workers. “The more needles we get into arms, the faster we can move past this,” Mr. Heye, 48, said. “That applied to me, personally, as well.” So he recently positioned himself at his local Giant supermarket at 5:15 a.m., where he found himself second in line in the pharmacy section. “I spent nine hours in a grocery store. Lunch was beef jerky and barbecue potato chips. It is too bad they don’t have the vaccine at Whole Foods or Balducci. It was like camping out for Bryan Adams tickets back in the day, and there’s no V.I.P. line or anything like that.” At the end of a long day staring into other people’s grocery carts, he and four others drew the last doses. “Obviously, it’s a flawed process, and there can and should be better ways of doing this like letting seniors register for any extra doses first, for instance,” he said. “But that’s just not happening. I wasn’t cutting in a line, no V.I.P. concierge nonsense, didn’t call in any favors.” Mr. Heye said he was considering how to get his life back, scanning Facebook for friends who had received their two shots so that they could resume some semblance of a social life. Those with two shots — just over 2 percent of the total population as of Sunday — at this point essentially live alone on private islands. Some may be in professions like health care where many of their co-workers are also inoculated. Others are in a sort of suspended animation, more comfortable at a grocery store or hugging a grandchild, yet still waiting for the rest of the nation before they swim ashore. “I feel very fortunate to have already received both doses of the Moderna vaccine,” said Pamela Spann, 68, who lives in Daingerfield, Texas. When the only pharmacy in her county offered shots in the last week of December, she was first told that she was too young to get the first dose. But a clerk did write down her name in a notebook. “I was so surprised when I was called that evening for an appointment the next day,” Ms. Spann said. She received a second dose on Jan. 26. Having missed out on her first year of retirement travel, Ms. Spann is waiting for others in her circle to get shots. “I am most looking forward to visiting my family again,” she said. “I also look forward to visiting and playing games with friends.” Still, she and many others who have been vaccinated or developed antibodies by contracting the virus feel a sense of trepidation. “I think life will never be as carefree as life before,” Ms. Spann said. “I will be more aware of new viruses throughout the world and what they might mean to me.” Mr. Mattias, of New York, described himself as a loner who, because he worked every day, said he hadn’t felt that deprived over the past year, beyond missing a trip with his wife to a Cracker Barrel restaurant on their annual vacation in Pennsylvania. “I am looking forward to spending time with my grandkids, walking my dog and not having to cross the street so people don’t have to walk away from me first,” Mr. Mattias said. “My mother is 89 years old, I haven’t hugged in a while, so that’s another one. Really, my whole life is little things. I am counting on getting them back.” Source link Orbem News #coronavirus #Crossroads #Stymied #vaccinated #Waiting

[progressiveveteran-blog]

A Liberal Veteran in Trump’s America

I’ve struggled with how to fathom what happened on and after November 8th, 2016.  I watched as an election that was all but guaranteed for what was to be the first female president in American history – albeit a flawed candidate with some shady friends and family – all of a sudden shoot into the small hands of a xenophobic, tax-cheating, employee-cheating, tenant-discriminating, Islamophobic, misogynistic, ill-tempered, ill-mannered, always-privileged, and exceptionally spoiled man whose lifelong actions, both before and during his campaign, stand as anathema to basic human decency.

I continued to struggle as I witnessed the decent Republicans I knew – particularly my family members – excuse Trump’s unconscionable actions while condemning the shortcomings of Hillary Clinton as much more louder and immoral than the sins of Donald J. Trump.  I especially struggled, as a student of political science and communication, when many of my liberal acquaintances continued an “Anyone But Clinton” mantra even after the primary, and used their lay-understandings of politics and elections to school me over why I knew nothing about politics or elections.  In the end, the progressive votes that went to the anything-but-qualified Jill Stein in Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and Michigan were enough to secure Donald Trump’s historic and unprecedented electoral college victory. 

I am a progressive, but a fairly moderate progressive. I have a conservative Republican upbringing, a college education in political communication and American politics and elections, graduate training in public speaking and logical argument, and wartime service as a member of the U.S. Army. For me, the election of Trump, and the rejection of Clinton by both sides has been a painful injury for too many people who care for equality and justice.  It particularly hurts me at a gutwrenching level.  Why do I hurt so much?  I would not have admitted it while a 20-year old college student, but it is because I truly have always believed that there is such a thing as American exceptionalism. No, I don’t think Americans are more exceptional than Germans, Russians, Koreans, Iranians, or even Antarcticans (sorry, penguins). But I grew up always believing that the U.S.A. was more exceptional than any other nation-state in the world because we offered a way out – a shining city on a hill for others oppressed in their countries by the whims of mad dictators, poverty born from fascistic or communist policies, or restrictions on free speech.  In short, we were a superhero country, there for anyone needing an escape to seek refuge. It is no wonder my pride in America began at age four.

Kindergarten Voter, Elementary Republican, Apathetic Teen

I first caught the bug for politics in Kindergarten, as our class voted in the Bush-Dukakis election of ’88 (I voted for Bush because I didn’t know what a Dukakis was). The bug grew in third grade, where I typically found myself in the Christa McAuliffe Elementary School library in McAllen, TX memorizing every single president, from George Washington up to George H.W. Bush.  I memorized their political parties, and even all the dates of their terms.  As a raised Republican, I abhorred the Democrats, especially the new President Bill Clinton who had the nerve to unseat the first president I ever voted for. I also had a big dislike for the new First Lady who, in the words of my mother, dared to be a horrible woman for only having one child (for somehow it was Hillary’s fault, not Bill’s?).

My passion for elections grew into my middle school years.  Although I was constantly bullied by my peers in both home and church (sometimes by the same people), and as I struggled to find friends and fit in, I still had a sense of pride in my country, particularly when learning about the Civil War and the Alamo.  During the 1996 election, I held my hopes high that Republican Senator Bob Dole would finally get rid of Bill Clinton.  My hopes were dashed, of course.  The bullying continued, the passion for country waned, and before long I saw my life not as one of exceptionalism, but one of constant survival. I attempted suicide three times during these years, out of desperation of a neverending torture that neither my school or parents were willing to help adequately fix.  Once high school began, my priorities of fitting in took precedence over my passion for country.  At times, I would grin seeing things like Bill Clinton’s sex scandal and impeachment, as well as our Democratic Governor Ann Richards finally being defeated – by the son of the first president I ever voted for, no less! (a.k.a Dubya).  When the election of 2000 happened, I harbored small emotions toward my new Governor George W. defeating Vice-President Al Gore. When he did, no thanks to the Supreme Court intervention of the Florida recount, I breathed a sigh of relief – but I was still not as interested as the younger Dan was.

Somewhere in the beginning of college at the University of North Texas, my passion for politics excessively dissipated, replaced by the pain of post-bullying and post-family angst. When I was finally eligible to vote for president for the first time, I instead took the route the majority of my fellow apathetic peers did: I said I wasn’t going to vote because I didn’t like either candidate.  George W. Bush had botched the Iraq War, and John Kerry was a Democrat.  I jumped on board the “flip-flopper bandwagon” in making my excuse for not voting for Kerry because it was easier.  But truth be told: switching party’s is hard, and when it is ingrained in you – anything other than your party brings about a severe sense of betrayal.  I would come to regret this decision years later, once my military service unlocked my sense of pride for my country.

Army Strong and My Political Realignment

I had several reasons for joining the military after college.  The easiest one was economic: I was in debt, unemployed, and going broke fast.  With a BA in Sociology, after 5 ½ years of mostly toiling with mediocre grades and dealing with depression – I had nowhere near the resume or academic excellence to get anything other than a job in sales. But my situation was hardly unique, for I was one of the vast majority of college graduates in the same boat. Many turned to moving back in with their parents.  I couldn’t do that.  

It’s easy to trivialize someone’s angst-ridden child-parent relationship, but mine was a little different.  If my multiple suicide attempts, my 5 ½ years of depression through college, and my losing of my faith was enough of an indicator, I knew that to move back in with my parents would be a death wish.  I could not and would not move back under their roof to live under their rules.  I was still only 23.  At the time, I held deep, traditional beliefs in serving one’s country, and I continued to feel the pride that others felt in the idea of defending the U.S.A. with their life – a feeling likely established in my early days learning about the boys in blue fighting the South to free the slaves.  However, we were at war in both Iraq and Afghanistan, something way different than the Civil War.  I still saw it as my citizen’s duty to join up, though, and I sought out the recruiter, asked to join, and realized later just how big a decision I had made.  I knew that I would likely be in a war zone one day, regardless of my military job as an Army musician.  I called my grandmother on the phone the night I was set to ship out.  She was the only family member I felt I could truly talk to.  She was a snarky grandmother with a disciplined attitude, and an immunity to the ridiculousness that was the Mormon religion her son (my dad) adopted.  Plus, she was a Rust Belt Democrat!  Her comforting words helped me gain the courage to see my military decision out.  I ended up serving 8 years, with a year spent serving in Iraq.  It was during these years when I met my wonderful spouse Ariela, also in the Army, and I found the motivation to resurrect my love of politics and country.

It was also during these years when I voted for the first time – Barack Obama in 2008.  When chided by my parents for it, I searched myself for the reasons why I switched parties, and knew I had made the right decision, particularly since John McCain’s pick for his VP, Sarah Palin, was dangerously unfit to be let anywhere near the Oval Office, let alone White House.  But it wasn’t just this reason – it was because I knew that, contextualized with the hypocrisy of the ideology my parents raised me to believe, that conservative Republicanism was only an ideology that prioritized some Americans over others.  My parents, especially my Korean mother, raised me to believe that I was an American, not a Korean.  I was not taught the Korean language, and I was not raised in Korean custom. However, I was constantly reminded outside of the home just how “un-American” I was.  In 2008, it didn’t matter how my parents or any Republican attempted to rationalize conservative Republicanism.  When the message by the overall Republican base permeated with a Gentleman’s Agreement that non-white males and white males were practically “separate, but equal,” I knew better than to continue participating.  In fact, I chose to make my participation stronger – but for the other side.  I couldn’t very well do that with an Army uniform on, and I saw my military time as a sense of citizen service, not a career.  It was time to move on.

Just a Couple of Veterans Going to School

Ariela and I both finished our active duty obligations to the Army and moved to Iowa to attend the University of Northern Iowa (UNI).  There, I began Round 2 of college, beginning my studies in political communication and public administration.  I loved it!  Not only I gained further understanding of how our American politics work on paper, but also in action.  Additionally, I graduated Summa Cum Laude!

I was also privileged to be in Iowa during the 2012 presidential election season, where I campaigned vigorously both for my state senator and the Planned Parenthood affiliate in Des Moines, as well as helping various progressive causes.  I also gained experience in Iowa politics - two different internships, one fellowship, and a field organizing position in a congressional primary campaign.   It was a privilege to learn how our elections work not only from an academic perspective, but more importantly an in-person, grassroots perspective.

As a student at UNI, I also participated in different progressive student group activities.  However, it was when I formed the first student reproductive rights group at the university where my political action muscles really had to be flexed.  This was a big step on my part, but when I learned that UNI had a pro-life group but no pro-choice group, I made the decision to take action and start the group from scratch.  My fellow members and I coined the name UNI STARR (Students Together for the Advancement of Reproductive Rights).  I’m so touched that, to this day, STARR still exists and is continuing its efforts to educate students about reproductive rights.

Toward the end of my time at UNI, I heard the call of the Master’s degree and I felt I had to answer.  I chose to attend the University of Kansas to finalize my understanding of political communication.  We moved to Lawrence, where I wrote my Master’s thesis on Clint Eastwood’s American Sniper and how language in the film resulted in two highly polarized responses from liberal and conservative audiences.  I also busied myself as a Graduate Teaching Assistant, where I taught four successful semesters of public speaking.  I made sure in my curriculum that I showed my undergraduate students the importance of political participation and how to detect logical fallacies in the arguments we hear from others in our citizenry.  In short, I did everything in my power to help make smarter citizens.

I put my hopeful doctoral studies on pause so Ariela could attend graduate school in New York (The New School of Social Research).  But I admittedly have felt yet again the wane of my field’s importance now that Trump and his brand of communication is seen as “the new normal.” But it was before November 8th, during my interactions with angry liberal and misguided conservatives in the Facebook crucible where I first began to second guess my education goals.  Of course, the challenge for someone like me – someone educated in politics – is the patience (or lack thereof) it takes when the lay public denigrates your expertise because, in our American democracy, everyone’s an “expert.” The toxic stew which we call the 2016 presidential election, however, was my tipping point, and Facebook became the crucible that took hold and imprisoned both my pride for having any political expertise, as well as my optimism for rational discourse.  In short, the 2016 election toxicity made me lose hope in continuing as a scholar in politics and communication.

The Facebook Crucible: Where Reason Goes to Die

The most memorable Facebook disagreements I had were with what I refer to as “ABC voters” (“Anyone But Clinton”).  If I want to explain the toxicity of political rational discourse from my 2016 experience with ABC voters, there are plenty of examples to choose from.  For purposes of shortening it down, I’ll pick the most memorable two ABC voters: 1) Melvin - a French Horn player in the Army Band who knows more about me than elections, logical fallacies, and morality; and 2) Brendon - my brother-in-law, a Mormon from Utah who also knows more about logical fallacies and morality than me because he doesn’t get his news from the liberal media. 

Melvin is a radical, which is not necessarily a bad thing.  He purportedly cares for all humans, regardless of nationality – a “radical” view I feel we should all have but sadly don’t.  But when it came to 2016 presidential politics, Melvin was/is a single-issue voter.  For someone like me, this seems so stupid, as the presidency is never about a single issue.  However, too many voters rely on a single issue in finally making their decision.  In the case of the 2016 election, however, Melvin’s single issue wasn’t abortion, or the environment, or national security, or the economy, or even foreign relations.  It was Hillary Clinton.

Melvin first Facebook-challenged me when I had posted a status update about the toxicity of the “Bernie Bros” telling women they didn’t know what was good for them when they supported Hillary Clinton.  During the Primary season, Melvin’s key argument was that Clinton was a corrupt monster with lifelong ties of regime change in other countries, something he absolutely abhorred. His intentions behind his argument reeked of utopianism - the unrealistic values of a dreamer who thinks morality shouldn’t be a complicated issue.  In this case, the complicated issue is deciding international policy within the paradigm of the security dilemma (whatever decision we make needs to keep us safe, while balancing relations with others and bluffing adversaries at times).  His view is that it shouldn’t be complicated to value all human life, but this gives such short shrift to the reality of the international security dilemma.  He didn’t understand the complicated nature of such an issue to make a fully-informed viewpoint on the matter, but he disguised this non-understanding with absolute confidence and “know-it-all” condescension.  For Hillary, whatever her husband Bill did that harmed civilian lives in other countries, as well as what she may have advocated for as Secretary of State, was enough for Melvin to put his hopes in Bernie Sanders - who knew nothing about foreign policy or hard decisions, and later Jill Stein - who simply knew nothing.

Melvin’s primary argumentation device against me was the use of what I call the Fallacy Card.  This is where you use the definitions of specific fallacies to conveniently fit your opponent’s argument within that definition in order to make it seem invalid.  In other words, he molded anything I said into the Wikipedia definition of a flawed argument - and boy did he keep at it.  His Fallacy Card playing reeked of the common Strawman fallacy where you unfairly compare two sides in order to strengthen the side you’re on.  In his case, he used it to accuse others of making Straw fallacies – the fallacy of crying fallacy!  Every time I made an argument, I could predict the steps of his Fallacy Card response: 1) cry fallacy; 2) post a Wikipedia definition of the fallacy I committed; 3) victory.  For example, I argued that he was throwing his vote away in a regressive display of ignorance by voting Jill Stein.  His fallacy card: I committed the False Dichotomy fallacy (where you falsely claim there are only two solutions to a problem when there are actually more options).  In this case, he accused me of saying there are only two options for president when Gary Johnson and Jill Stein were clearly in existence, and then posts the definition of False Dichotomy from Wikipedia while claiming the high ground of argumentative superiority. Of course, I didn’t commit such a fallacy because the reality of PROBABILITY was on my argument’s side.  In other words, the amount of support (and qualifications) for both Gary Johnson and Jill Stein was infinitesimally impossible to realistically succeed, making any progressive vote that went to Stein simply a futile effort to deny the realistic progressive candidate (and progressivism across America) a victory through indirectly and regressively electing Trump and conservatism.  Of course, Melvin refused to accept this, telling me I had no perception of reality.  Quite the easy response to anything, of course.

My fear from these stupendously baffling exchanges with Melvin was that it his sheer ignorance represented a sizable number of progressive voters.  If this were true, it truly did give relevance to the old saying that “Progressives Fall In Love, Conservatives Fall In Line.”  My hopes for rational discourse and the success of progressivism dissipated further.  

It took me a short while, after closing my Facebook account, to reflect on the matter.  After much thought - too much thought - I’ve gained a little of my optimism back.  For starters, I had to reason with myself that just because Melvin was truly representative of the toxic ABC voter that seems to define our negative worldview of rational voters DOESN’T mean he is representative of a majority of progressive voters.  In fact, he’s NOT a progressive voter.  Witnessing firsthand the power behind people coming out of the woodworks to do as much as possible to fight Trump’s America, I realized that Melvin only represents a “couch activist”; in his case, a Facebook troller and political ranter that wears an Army uniform (something he has admitted he knows he is NOT allowed to do).  But when a guy says he’s unwilling to give up his comfortable military paycheck for playing military music, and when a guy uses his family as his reason for giving participating only at the bare minimum (while others with families proudly do WAY more), I know he’s truly not a progressive.  In short, a Green Party couch activist should be given the amount of respect we give conservative Republicans by not pursuing their vote.  Progressives shouldn’t be factoring these kinds of voters in our progressive coalition.  We need to move on - we need to find fighters.

Unlike the radical non-progressive that is Melvin, my brother-in-law Brendon is a different take.  As a Mormon from Utah, he is – you guessed it – a conservative Republican.  My frustration with him started when I read his Facebook post prior to Election Week: he and my sister Christina would be voting for Trump.  Before I continue, some context is required.

I’m the eldest of five children, and the only one who has publicly and officially resigned from the Mormon church (and apparently conservative Republicanism).  Christina, the youngest of the five, was always a pragmatic and down-to-earth dude-ette.  However, she had her own crisis of conscience her first semester in college at BYU (Mormon University).  She called me on the night I was set to deploy to Iraq, pleading for help.  She said she felt absolutely alone, trapped in a Mormon college where the average freshman girl had a ring on her finger and a baby on the way.  Worse, all of Christina’s real friends from high school were at the University of Texas in Austin (UT).

Knowing full well that my dad had a deeply-held prejudice against UT that came from witnessing a group of drunken football fans acting drunk (in his view, they were EXCEPTIONALLY drunk and, hence, UT was exceptionally wicked), it disturbed me that Christina’s dreams were being held hostage my parents’ ultimatum that if she dropped out of BYU and went to UT that she’d be cut off financially.  My parents were not only using their inexplicable animus toward UT in this ultimatum – but they were also trying to prevent what they likely saw as their youngest child following in the footsteps of their eldest – the path to apostasy (cue chilling wind-blowing sounds).  Christina had every right to feel scared and helpless.  My help in our phone conversation was limited given my predicament (packing for deployment to Iraq).  However, every time I think about that conversation, the memory haunts me, especially given what happened afterward.  Christina ended up capitulating to my parents' ultimatum and staying at BYU.  There, she met Brendon and rededicated herself to Mormonism.  At her wedding reception, I had to listen to Brendon brag about Christina’s UT crisis.  While he reminisced on her “close call,” and all the good little Mormons laughed along - including Christina, I had to bite my lip and look at the floor.  End of context.

One week to election day, I read Christina’s regurgitated arguments about Hillary Clinton being the next Richard Nixon. She exuded a “husband knows best” attitude that Brendon arguably inspired.  When I challenged her, she shied away by saying that checks and balances will probably save the day, and Congress will prevent Trump from running amuck with the Oval Office.  She and Brendon also accused me of being a product of the liberal media, an accusation another of my sisters (who also attended BYU) threw my way once upon a time - in particular CNN.  For the record, I never watch CNN because it’s for-profit priorities and media sensationalism are downright horrible.  But what is it that BYU students have against CNN?  Do all professors warn the Mormon college kids that CNN is the Devil?  It's just freakin’ weird!

Brendon deployed his own Fallacy Card at me - and it was a doozy.  In this case, he accused me of using Donald Trump as a distraction from the real problem – Hillary Clinton.  In other words, a Red Herring fallacy: he thought that my “Trump-is-the-Real-Problem” argument was really a decoy from the TRUE menace that was Hillary.  Of course, this really revealed more about Brendon and Christina than it did my alleged lack of reason and fallacious argumentation.  Why?  When Donald Trump brags about sexual assault, cheating employees out of pay, or how he takes advantage of our tax system for his own businesses, Brendon gives it a pass and calls it explainable - but this is because it is palatable given their morals (if you could call it moral) and values: capitalism, deservedness through zero-sum competition, patriarchy, and a societal disciplinarianism.  What is not palatable is when Hillary’s husband makes backdoor deals for pardons, or when her campaign manager’s emails show how he dares to strategize political communication, or when the DNC leaders are revealed to be trying to sway the election in Hillary’s direction.  Regardless, Hillary Rodham Clinton is GUILTY to Brendon and Christina (guilty by association), and hence UNFORGIVEN and UNVOTABLE.  In the meantime,  Donald Trump will not be mentioned (and if I mention him, I’m obviously partisan and distracting from the real problem?)

That very night, I tossed and turned in bed, wondering how it was possible that Christina, my down-to-earth sister, could mentally inoculate all of Trump’s transgressions and corruption in order to justify her’s and Brendon’s anti-Hillary position.  I had to accept the fact that she was no longer down-to-Earth, but down-to-whatever-Mormon-planet-she-hopes-to-live-on-in-the-afterlife-with-Brendon (this is a real Mormon thing, by the way). I also had to tell myself that her continual arguments that everything would be okay because Congress would stop Trump were only her justifications in the moment to vote for him.  As we’ve seen in Trump’s first two weeks, Congress can do nothing about executive orders, while we the People wait nervously, worried just what new executive order Trump has up his sleeve.  Today - while Trump continues using his immense power that Congress is powerless to check, I read that his firing of Sally Yates as acting Attorney General is resurrecting comparisons to Richard Nixon.  Of course, I will not throw this in Christina and Brendon's faces, because it would be an exercise of futility.  Like Melvin, they are unreachable - at least when through the Facebook crucible.

In short, I seem to have thought that Christina was within the realm of reasonable voters.  However, she is clearly not when her own values and priorities highlight Clintonian corruption while excusing - or filtering out completely - Trumpian corruption that, on paper, has been proven as WAY more numerous and problematic.  But the other side values Trumpian corruption as a moral necessity, and Christina has chosen this side.  In essence, I have to remind myself that our fight for American decency is against those who align with the opposite.  I cannot anymore worry about this other side, but instead about knowing who is on our side and how we can mobilize them to join the fight for decency.

The Burial of Decency, and It’s Hopeful Resurrection

We are now at a crossroads in American History, as now-President Trump has issued an unprecedented amount of extreme executive orders within just the first week, let alone first day, of his presidency – all of which victimize incredibly large numbers of people: women around the world who rely on abortion-supporting non-governmental organizations; refugees fighting for survival from their war-torn countries; millions of Americans now with affordable healthcare poised to lose it due to ideological preferences for free-market priorities.  We now have nepotism in the White House with Trump’s son-in-law serving as an advisor. We now have proven anti-semitism in the White House and National Security meetings with Breitbart extremist Steve Bannon, Trump’s most trusted advisor.  We also have a President who has faked the divesting of his office from his businesses, now proven with documentary evidence that he is still making money and, hence, using the Office of the Presidency as a personal profit mechanism.

What hurts me and many progressives even more is that the entire legitimacy of the United States of America as the beacon of hope for millions of people in the world, the exceptionalism I grew up to view in America, has now been lost.  It has now been recast as the kingdom of a spoiled madman tarnishing its image of legitimacy on a daily and even hourly basis with the most petty and childish Tweets and public displays of unmeasured, unpresidential language, let alone corrupt actions meant to bolster his brand and his profits.  Our legacy as a country that led the way for the world with its steady leadership now shares commonalities with countries that have fallen in stature due to the whims and actions of mad dictators carrying a big gun in one hand and a solid gold rattle in the other.  And our voters chose this.  Our families chose this.  My family chose this.  They had the information, and yet chose Trump.  It really happened.

Liberals chose this as well.  The flawed action/inaction of ABC voters and single-issue curator voters of the liberal wing have wasted OUR (not their) efforts for progress toward the quixotic Jill Stein and have allowed for the Republican Party and their anointed Demagogue-in-Chief to take over.  On November 9th, plenty of these “voters” chided their scared friends that everything was going to be okay.  Today, they are now eating crow.  Of course, it was obvious to me why Jill Stein launched an even more quixotic campaign than her presidency in her failed recount of the three states where her margins of the vote, if they had gone to Hillary, would have prevented a President Trump.  But now he’s our president, and those who say “Not My President,” really mean “he IS my president, and it’s a travesty.”  This new president has already single-handedly undone all President Obama’s efforts to repair our reputation on the international stage, recasting it now as an America of an unapologetic authoritarian bent on absolute power and greed disguised as “America First.”  The word “presidential” is now a substitute for weakness, decency is something that can be politicized, and lies in the name of Trump are “alternative facts.”

Instead of social media obsessions and distractions, I have proudly marched in the Women’s March, I pay dues and volunteer for local progressive causes in my area, and I spend 8 hours a day working for Planned Parenthood.  Although I have been fighting tooth and nail for progressive causes here in New York – doing my part when I feel my country needs it more than ever – my internal fight over what to do with my ties to my now Trump-allied family members has been exceedingly tough. Friends and families are always naturally divided every election season. But this election season and its outcome is not politics-as-usual. Given the circumstances, how does one interact with friends and family when they participated to help make America totalitarian while dismissing the very existence of others different from them as spilled milk?  I’m reminded of the many who fled Germany in the wake of the Nazi takeover.  The story of the old movie director Douglas Sirk is the first to come to mind.

While a German national, Douglas Sirk painfully watched his country adopt Nazi totalitarianism.  His ex-wife and son swallowed the Nazi Kool-Aid to make Germany great again.  Sirk had a choice in remaining loyal to his family and his country, or turning his back, knowing full well what the outcome of such political direction would be.   He turned his back.  He was faced with the difficult decision of doing the right thing, when family loyalty happened to be on the opposite end.  Sirk never saw his son again – the boy was killed in action wearing a Nazi uniform in 1944.

History and reason tell us that the direction of Trump’s executive action and totalitarianism only goes one way.  Things are going to become worse.  It is now where I ask myself if it’s possible that Americans may have to turn their backs on their families and home country.  I wish I could ask Douglas Sirk how it felt.  However, unlike Sirk, my ties to my parents have already been more troubled than the average person.  Their allegiance to Trump was the straw that broke the camel’s back.  If I’m going to continue my fight to undo the terror diminishing our country like other countries have experienced, I have no room for those that vote for madmen while claiming the moral high ground - family or not.  I have nothing more to say to them, so nothing will be said.  As for siblings – the same goes for them. In the wake of the Trump election and the outbreak of hate crimes against minorities in the name of Trump, Brendon tried to convince me it WASN’T really happening, and that liberal-on-Trump supporter violence was the REAL problem.  Needless to say, I have nothing more to say to such a person.  When our family members ally with the inexplicable and participate in dehumanizing human beings, the responsibility is not to tolerate them but to quit them.

I embrace the irony that I am not the young boy my parents raised to hate the Clintons.  Instead, I embrace having voted for president the very woman I attacked in the 4th grade for having only one child.  I embrace the fact that although I once shared my parents dislike for our Texas Gov. Ann Richards and her liberal politics, I now sit rooms away from her daughter Cecile as we continue fighting to defend a woman’s right to proper healthcare.  As a former Republican, Veteran, and now progressive crusader for what’s right, I will continue to fight as long as I breathe.  While the Melvins of the world (not the Seattle kind, haha) continue their political action through Facebook trolling and quixotic votes meant to aggrandize the size of their morality, and the Brendons continue wearing their “See-No-Liberal-Media” blindfolds and “Hear-No-Liberal-Media” earplugs, I can only look away from such foolishness and focus on what can be achieved, rational discourse with those truly open to such an idea.  I should not give up on my pursuit of reason in politics simply b/c those with imaginary expertise delegitimize my field with a Facebook post or tweet. The work must continue!  And if the time comes where the fight is lost, the experiences of the very Syrian refugees whom our new president has now victimized on a massive scale will be felt by all Americans. The time to leave America and turn our backs on friends and family may become a tragic possibility, one I hope never becomes a reality.

In the meantime, I fight to prevent such a reality.